#straight back. straight back to that little boy crying for his mother how many times are you going to do this to him in the last two eps | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

merakiui · 1 year ago

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タコの花嫁。

yandere!azul ashengrotto x (female) reader cw: yandere, nsfw, non-con, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, arranged marriage, oviposition, breeding, royalty au note - in an effort to bring peace to two warring sides, you are engaged to the sea queen’s son.

If anyone is to blame for the abysmal diplomacy between the Land and the Sea, it would be your ancestors. Pompous and foolhardy, they thought they could rule the grand seas stretching out from the harbor, beyond weather-worn docks with their rotted, seaweed-strewn planks and briny fetor. The ocean was vast, unexplored territory—a dangerous, deceptive beauty harboring life far beneath unruly waves.

And your ancestors intended to claim it.

Sailors would recount tales of fishfolk—uncanny creatures who looked more marine than the two-legged mammals of the land. They’d raise mugs, each overflowing with ale, in drunken merriment, terrifying themselves with the mysteries of the deep, dark sea.

“It ought to give ya a proper scare straight to Davy Jones himself!” they’d say, voices lowered conspiratorially. “Soon as yer candle goes out and all ya’ve got’s the moon to guide ya… You’ll hear ’em slip through the water if yer listenin’ well enough.”

“You ever go and spy one up close?”

“I’d sooner see the Devil himself and let him keelhaul me before facin’ those cursed beasts!”

“The cut of their jib ain’t so pretty. Enough to give men like us a fright and we’ve seen all sorts of somethin’.”

“Monsters, I say! Monsters!”

Festivals were held to keep these beasts at bay—to prevent them from gathering the courage to creep up onto the land. Every year, during the summer solstice, pits were hollowed on the shore and bordered with stones. Flames licked towards the sky, red-orange fingers clawing for purchase amidst the stars above. Townsfolk would sing and dance late into the eve, bellowing songs passed through the generations. Children would skip up and down the beach, torches in hand, and cry out an old chant: “Fish for you and me are meant to stay in the sea! Should you see one on land, may the Heavens strike it down with a gentle, loving hand!”

Their excitement did well to ward off the fishfolk. Sometimes the lone child would spot one in the distance, peeking out from between the rocks before diving back under in a splash.

On land, humans were safe. On land, the fishfolk couldn’t catch them.

It was different in the sea.

Ships were destroyed in terrible tempests. The waves tossed them around as if they were nothing. Many sailors would find their demise at the bottom of the ocean, torn to shreds with shattered skeletons. Viscerally brutalized, they died with secrets on their tongues—secrets of the strange fishfolk who’d drag them down, down, down to a watery grave.

On one cold February afternoon, the octopus prince was brought into the world. In shadowed fathoms, a grand celebration was held. After so much time—misfortune after misfortune—one fry survived out of the entire clutch. He was round and soft and small, colored blue from exertion and fighting through the tug of the current to reach home. The Sea Queen met him halfway and embraced him, ecstatic tears in her eyes, for a mother’s love is stronger than any political power.

“My little Azul,” she said, stroking a hand along his cheek, “how precious you are.”

No ships were sunk; no lives were lost. It was a peaceful day for both the Land and the Sea. And it would continue to be so in the future. Every year on that same February, it was made a day of peace to honor the little prince.

A day of life, not death.

It was on that same February eleven years later when you were tossed into the frigid depths like a hatchling cast out of its nest. Similarly, your birth had been a wondrous occasion. Your parents brought five boys into the world, each just as adored as the last, but they had been hoping for a daughter. It was a miracle when their fervent wishes were finally granted. You were spoiled as all daughters often are, pampered and doted on by your family and the palace staff.

Your brothers, though protective and caring, were a troublesome and rowdy bunch. Kyffin was the eldest. Two years younger was Emyr, and another two years behind him was Owin. A year younger than him were twins Morcan and Martyn. They picked on you as all immature boys often do when caught up in sibling rivalries, aiming to be the only one their parents see. To prove themselves as the best, the strongest, the wisest.

So it was with a half-cruel heart that Emyr tossed you into the waves from where he stood in the rowboat.

“Only way to learn is with exposure!” he called down to you, watching as you struggled against the push and pull of the sea.

“C-Can’t!” you shouted back, choking on salt and flailing about. “E-Emyr, I can’t—can’t swim!”

“Don’t be silly,” Owin added with a sweet smile. “It’s how we learned. That old sod threw us right in. You’re lucky it’s us and not him. He was awfully mean with it, wasn’t he?”

“Terribly so.” Emyr watched your struggling a moment longer and clicked his tongue. He held the oar out just before you could slip under, and you clung to it with shaky hands. “Come on—let’s get you up here. You’re not gonna get it today.”

“Fin got it on his first try.”

“Fin gets everything on his first bloody try.”

Relieved, your heart pounding like a drum, you peered up at your brothers. “I’m sorry I couldn’t get it…”

“Nothing to apologize for. You’ll get it one day.”

“We’ll keep trying until then. And once you do, we’ll throw you a big party.”

“Really? Will you really do that?” Your expression brightened, but your brothers’ faces darkened. They saw the shadow before you did. Saw the webbed hands reaching out, the serrated teeth glinting in a sinister smile.

And then—

Owin leaned over, his arm outstretched. So fluid was his motion that it took you by surprise. “(Name), grab on! Hurry! Before—”

The rest of his warning was muffled by the water. You hardly had any time to brace yourself when you were yanked under, your nails raking across the wood of the oar as you went with the force of the pull. Salt stung your eyes when you cracked them open, peering frantically at blurry surroundings. Teal-green specks slid silently through the shadows, mismatched eyes flicking over your form. And then there was a high, raucous sort of chittering. Like a dolphin’s cry, loud and piercing. You squeezed your eyes shut and pressed your palms against your ears.

It only lasted a few mere seconds, but it felt like an eternity trapped in the coils of a creature you couldn’t comprehend. One moment you were holding your breath and the next arms were hooked around your torso, and you were pulled up and into the belly of the rowboat. Your hands flew to your throat, and you coughed up seawater while Owin patted you.

“It’s fine. It’s…okay,” Emyr muttered, his voice shot through with fear. It was the most shaken he’d ever sounded.

Blood fogged in the water, staining the tip of his harpoon. He gazed down at his hand. A deep, jagged gash ran angrily from palm to wrist. He hissed and closed his fingers in a tight fist.

“We gotta get back,” Owin was saying, still rubbing soothing circles into your back. “I’ll row. You rest.”

“Not good,” Emyr said instead, shaking his head in dismay as he watched your attackers retreat.

“We’re still in our waters, right? We didn’t go past the boundary, did we?”

“Let’s hope not.”

“We didn’t, right?”

“Let’s hope—” Emyr paused, collecting his words. “Let’s hope those monsters were in the wrong.”

“Father’s gonna kill us.”

“If not us, the monsters.”

Both brothers looked towards you. Your tunic was torn, stained through with saltwater and blood. You shivered all the way to shore.

Following that mishap, an official meeting was called between the Land and the Sea. The King—your father—met the Sea Queen at the border. He stood proud on his ship, peering down at her with fire in his old eyes.

“Your Majesty.”

The Sea Queen was just as formidable as those who came before her. Her tentacles unfurled as one, and if you looked at them long enough they almost seemed to take on the shape of an obsidian-colored crinoline.

“I believe my mother and your father made the terms quite clear all those years ago,” she said, a wave lifting her to meet the King at the deck of his ship. “So then, with that in mind, there should be no reason for us to meet under these circumstances.”

Emyr and Owin stood just behind their father. You peered through their legs at the Sea Queen, silently amazed. You’d never seen anyone quite like her before. At least, not a real person. You’d seen her in storybooks, depicted as a fearsome beast with devilish features, and though there was something intimidating about her gaze and build she appeared understanding enough. Her grey skin was sleek in the morning sun, her long, silvery strands tied up and pinned with an ornate hair ornament. She looked beautiful in a magical, enigmatic way.

“I couldn’t agree more,” came the clipped response of your father. “Alas, misfortune has brought us here.” He stepped aside to allow her to behold Emyr’s bandaged hand. “Harm has befallen my son and daughter. I suppose you might have an inkling as to why they find themselves in their current state?”

She frowned, but you couldn’t tell if it was out of sympathy or some other emotion. “Perhaps one of them can give reason to the wound now marring one of my subject’s sons.”

Your father glanced overboard at the snake-like merman cradled in the arms of another merman. They looked near-identical, their features unmistakable. He glanced back at Emyr, his gaze hard. “Go on then. Explain yourself.”

Emyr stepped forward. “With wholehearted respect, Your Majesty, it was out of self-defense. Your kind—they attacked us first.”

“You were in our waters!” one of the mers exclaimed, pointing a clawed finger towards Emyr. “It’s all your fault Jade got hurt!”

Owin hurried ahead, his hands gripping the taffrail. “He’s playing it up! It was a graze!”

“He could’ve died! You almost killed him!”

“That is enough,” the Sea Queen said, jutting an arm out to silence both sides. “I understand everyone is hurt here. Our feud lies in misunderstanding.” She gazed at you next. “Little one, we have yet to hear your story. Do share.”

You glanced at the guards, at Owin and Emyr, and then at father. He nodded encouragingly. “U-Um!” Shyly, you approached the Sea Queen. “My brothers were teaching me how to swim. I don’t know anything about whose water is whose. I just wanted to learn how to swim.” You met the fierce scowl of the mer holding his twin brother and quickly looked elsewhere. “He grabbed me before my brothers could pull me up.”

“Because you were trespassing. Anyone who tresspasses ought to—”

“Floyd.”

At the not-so-subtle warning in his father’s voice, he shut his mouth and snarled. His brother—Jade—was handed off to their father, who assessed his state with a frown.

“He will live, but it will take time for him to recover. My son is right. Your son could have killed him.”

“Just as your sons could have killed my sister!” Owin shouted, glaring.

Floyd stuck his tongue out, remorseless.

“It is impossible to know which side is in the wrong,” your father began, turning towards the Sea Queen. “Seeing as both have been injured, I am willing to apologize on behalf of my sons.”

“What?!” Owin’s head turned towards his father. “You’re bloody mad! Have you not seen—”

“Father,” Emyr interjected evenly. “We have nothing to apologize for. We were within our waters. We had no ill will towards the others. It was completely innocent.”

The Sea Queen hummed her contemplation. “The boundary was drawn for a reason, decided upon by those who came before us, and yet it does more harm than good. It is not for safety’s sake. It is to keep us divided—to ensure that neither side will ever know peace.”

“And you’re implying that we get rid of it?”

She nodded, quite serious. Everyone looked on in equal parts shock and disbelief. “Why do we continue to fight? It does nothing but open old wounds, rendering them incurable. Innocent lives are lost in petty squabbling. And for what?”

To that, no one could offer a smart reply.

“Therefore I propose peace. A union to welcome a new era—one in which we embrace one another as allies without animosity.”

“A union?” Your father raised a brow, suspicious but willing to listen. “I suppose it would be beneficial. My people would be free to travel the seas at their leisure.” “And mine would no longer have to live in fear of being thoughtlessly slaughtered and taken as trophies.”

“Unbelievable,” Orwin muttered.

Emyr elbowed him. “Knock it off.”

“We’ll collaborate on a contract. One that dissolves the invisible boundary that has been the cause for so much suffering. In order to attain true peace, I shall offer you my only son.” She glanced at you and then back at your father. “Your daughter shall marry him when they are of age.”

“What?! No way! Ew! Gross!” Your voice came out shrill and you shook your head in protest. “I don’t wanna marry an octopus! No, I won’t do it!”

Your father stood in front of you. “She’s my only daughter. If something were to happen—”

“Which is precisely why I bring up this engagement. Should they be betrothed, we as their parents will promise to uphold peace to give them bright futures and they will act as the first example of a human-mer alliance. Unions between humans and merfolk are unheard of, but is this not the best way to foster harmony between the Land and Sea?”

“I won’t do it! No! Don’t make me marry a gross—” Emyr gathered you in his arms, holding his uninjured hand over your mouth.

“Let the grown-ups talk.”

Owin frowned. “I still don’t agree with this…”

Your father mulled it over, his eyes glazed in thought. “Very well. We will create a contract—an official peace treaty.”

Both leaders shook hands and planned to convene at the end of the week to discuss further.

You watched the mers depart, each one slipping under the sea. Floyd was the last to go, staring at you with a mean sort of vitriol. And then he, too, dove under.

“He didn’t mean it, right?” you whispered to Emyr after your father gave the order to turn the ship around and head for land. “I won’t have to marry an octopus, right?”

Emyr could only offer a commiserate frown.

“She’s a brat,” Floyd spits. “Stupid, evil Two Legs.”

Jade chuckles and runs his fingers over the scar. “I consider it an honor.”

“Yeah, well, I think it’s messed up. She’s the reason you can’t ever swim naturally again. While she’s up there in her pretty, little tower, safe and sound, you’re still hurting.”

“It’s not as much of a hindrance as you may think. I’m not weak, mind you.”

Floyd grumbles. “Still. She’s mean.”

Azul gazes up at the palace, sighing dreamily. “She’ll be my wife someday. That’s what humans call it, yes? Husband and wife… What wonderful words.”

It’s been one year since the peace treaty. Since then, humans and merfolk have made an effort to get along. This is the second time Azul will be meeting with you. He’s nervous. The first time you went out to sea to greet him, and he’d gotten so anxious that he inked right then and there. His mother entertained you from where you sat in the boat with your personal guard. It was a mortifying experience—one that had taken him months to recover from.

Now he’s going to try to meet you in the shallows. Try is the key word here. He’s scared, all three hearts beating as one. Is it too late to reschedule?

“I can’t believe you’re actually okay with this. You that lonely?”

Azul turns to scowl at both twins, but it’s mostly directed at Floyd. “I never asked you to tag along. Leave me alone.”

Jade smiles. “And let the Queen’s little prince swim to his death?”

“I can take care of myself.”

“Sure you can. But what about when Two Legs gets ya? What then?”

“She wouldn’t do that.”

Floyd rolls his eyes. “You saw what her brothers did to Jade.”

“Because you tried to kill her.”

“Because she was in our territory!”

Azul huffs and pushes him away with a tentacle. “Regardless, we’re supposed to be on good terms now. You’ll break the contract if you try anything dangerous.”

“He’s right, Floyd.”

“Ugh. Whatever.” Floyd turns away, stubborn. “This is lame. I’m not stickin’ around.”

Jade lingers long enough to observe the way Azul lights up when he spots you on the stone steps. And then he disappears beneath the water.

Barefoot, holding your dress up and out of the way, you pad across the beach.

“Why are you here? I’m busy. My brothers are taking me into town.”

The smile that had been fighting to break out on his face frosts over. “Oh. I… Um…” Azul fumbles with the conch shell he’d collected on the way here. A gift for you. He made sure to study human speech patterns in the months leading up to this meeting. He’s fully prepared! And yet you look so displeased. “F-For you! I found it…”

You stare at the shell clutched in a dark tentacle. Tentatively, you reach for it. “Why?”

“Ah. W-Well, my mother says gifts are an important part of any bond. In the sea, we give gifts to the ones we care about. To friends and family and o-other halves…”

You turn the shell over in your hands. “We’re not friends.”

“Not yet,” he tries, but you shake your head.

“You ran away from me the last time we met. That’s not very friendly.”

His face flushes blue and he opens his mouth to argue, but nothing comes out. It wasn’t on purpose.

You’re already turning on your heel. “I don’t have time for this.” You toss the shell over your shoulder. Azul watches it land in the sand, just out of his grasp.

“W-Wait! I… I want to talk to you. Please don’t go. You’re going to be my other half one day, so I’d like to—”

But you’re already dashing across the beach to get to the stairs.

Azul deflates against the rock. Tears overflow in floods. Is it because of him? Is he to blame? Why don’t you want to be his friend? Is it because of the peace treaty? Why?

Why? Why? Why?

Azul doesn’t want to think negatively of you. Humans are sensitive creatures. He reads up on them in the palace library, poring over literature and textbooks in an effort to better understand you. But as the months pass and you seem to simply tolerate him for the sake of the alliance, he begins to suspect something.

It’s made apparent the next time he sees you, where you walk right past the beach to catch up with your brothers. He hides behind the rocks, two blue eyes following your figure until you’re out of sight.

Floyd was right. You are a brat.

And yet he can’t hate you.

On the eve of your eighteenth birthday, Azul meets you in the shallows.

Nowadays you send letters, preferring strained long distance over the personal intimacy of face-to-face relations. These exchanges are purely diplomatic. But now that he’s asked to meet with you, a rare occurrence, you’ve deigned to greet him in person. It’s the least you can do after he’s gone through the trouble to travel here. It’s been so long since you’ve seen him that he’s almost unrecognizable. You remember the round, baby-faced octo-mer from your childhood. The one who lounges against the rocks is leaner now—his features defined, jawline as sharp as his eyes. They cut through the gloom to find you.

“You wished to see me?” You’re in your nightwear, a silky gown with an even softer robe. A cool breeze blows across the beach, and you wrap your arms around yourself for extra warmth. “Azul?”

He hesitates, his gaze trailing up your legs. You’ve also changed a lot in the time you’ve been apart. You’ve grown taller, filling out in places he didn’t know humans could fill. What he’d give to hold you… His mother says he needs to be patient. Fickle thing that you are, you’re the reason he’s spent six years trying to appease you through letters—to win you over and be anything more than that “annoying octopus” you’re doomed to marry. Perhaps it would have been easier to act just as you do if it weren’t for the fact that he’d been elated at the premise of having someone to love. When his mother broached the idea in the days following her meeting with the Land King, he’d stared at her with wide, excited eyes.

“There’s a human girl who wants to be my friend?” he asked, to which his mother smiled and nodded.

More than a friend, actually, but then all he was focused on was finally getting to experience the one thing he’d never known or had: friendship.

Sighing, he foregoes formality and holds out a necklace. It dangles from the tip of his tentacle. Strung on a dainty, silver strand, pearls wink back at you under the moonlight. Azul averts his eyes, his cheeks a pleasant periwinkle.

“Happy birthday…”

“Oh.” You move in closer, taking the necklace from him. His tentacle pursues you, twining delicately around your wrist. “Um… What is it? Do you need—whoa!”

Azul tugs you closer. The sea laps at your ankles. Beneath a tapestry of stars, you meet his azure stare. His features are set with a determination you’ve never seen before.

“I want to start over.”

“Start over?”

“I’d like to be on friendly terms with you. We’re so cold. Distant…” Azul frowns, seeming unsure of what to say or do next. The tentacle laced around your wrist like a bracelet tightens its hold. “We’re to be wed one day. I want to make this work.”

You blink at him. He thinks he may have gotten through to you, having finally broken through layers of stone and ice, but then your nose scrunches and odium shimmers in your gaze.

“That’s impossible. I’m a human. How am I supposed to live with an octopus?” You shake him off with a huff. “I’m not sure what our parents think this will accomplish. I don’t want to be a pawn to be moved around for the sake of peace. I’m my own person.”

Azul’s expression sours. His lip curls up into a sneer. “Well, I don’t find it very enjoyable either. You’re not the only victim in this scenario.”

You exhale an exhausted breath. “Azul, I appreciate the gift, but it doesn’t mean anything if you’re only giving it to me to curry favor.”

I wasn’t, he thinks, but he doesn’t say that. Admitting it would be a weakness. Admitting it would mean coming to terms with an unrequited opinion.

“At least one of us is making a conscious effort.”

“At least one of us isn’t trying so hard. It’s pathetic.”

“You’re not obligated to accept my goodwill.” He smiles, smug. “Yet you do every time. I’d wager you enjoy my materialistic affections.”

“As if.” Despite this, you hold the necklace out of his reach when a tentacle flexes towards it. “It’s mine now.”

“So you are fond of my ‘pathetic’ ways!”

“I’m not!”

You jerk away with a vicious scowl, but your foot catches in the sand and you quickly find yourself tipping backwards. If not for the tentacles that coil around your waist to steady you, you would have fallen on your rear. Your chest heaves with adrenaline. Stunned, you stare at Azul.

“You…caught me,” you breathe, lips parted in awe.

“Did you think I’d let you fall?” He cocks his head at you, grinning playfully. “Why, I’d never! Unless it’s me you’re falling for, in which case I gladly welcome the—”

“You’re such a pest.” Untangling yourself from his grasp, which he allows without scrimmage, you step away from the water’s edge. He watches you secure the pearls around your neck, and his hearts stumble in his chest when you point an accusatory finger at him. “Don’t delude yourself with foolish nonsense. I have no interest in you.”

With an indignant harrumph, you start towards the palace.

“May we meet here tomorrow?” Azul calls out after you, testing his luck with what little chance he has.

“Don’t push it.”

“I’ll wait for you.”

“Good. Keep waiting, dummy!” You break into a sprint, hurrying off into the shadows.

Azul smiles at the empty beach. Whether or not you like him, it doesn’t matter. You’re to be his one day. You’ve always been, ever since he was eleven.

He’ll wait, even if you won’t show.

Ostensibly, twenty-one years wise, you’re getting married today.

Your gown is just as exquisite as your hair and makeup. Pearls cling to your throat and arms—classic wedding attire for merfolk. A thin veil shields the scheme in your stare.

This was an inevitability, but you’re determined to fight it until the end. No matter how quickly time seems to pass, you’ll do everything you can to stall and slow it.

Gripping a sharpened dagger in a resolute fist, you drag it through the long, sprawling train of your gown.

“As if I’d marry an octopus,” you grumble, cutting fine fabric until you’re permitted smoother movement. Gazing at yourself in the mirror, you scowl. “I’m no one’s bride.”

By the time the maids arrive to check on you, you’ve already stolen out the window.

The rowboat sways on choppy water. You’ve watched your brothers do this enough times to have the technique engraved in your memory. Your arms strain with the oars, every muscle screaming in protest, but you fight through the pain. The palace looks smaller and smaller with every passing minute. Eventually, you’re so far out that the land is but a mere speck.

It’s going well. You’re escaping towards a better future—a future without the octopus prince.

You glance towards the horizon. Your boat undulates with the waves.

You’ll miss your brothers, your maids, your personal guard…

Water slops over the edge. You yelp, startled. Have the seas always been so rough?

Despite everything, you’ll miss your father.

Just as you think this, your boat rocks to the side. You grab onto the edge to steady yourself, but it’s already too late. It tips over and you go with it, careening into the sea with a noisy splash. Twin shadows cut seamlessly through the murky water. You catch sight of a yellow eye before you propel yourself towards the sky, coughing and heaving once you break the surface. You grab onto the overturned rowboat, your dagger clutched in one hand.

You search the surface for them, eyes flicking to and fro in a frantic panic.

Somewhere… Anywhere… Where are you?

And then you find them, peering at you from the other side of the boat.

“Go on then,” you spit, glaring. “Kill me.”

Floyd bares his teeth at you. “This time I ain’t gonna leave a scar.”

“You know we mustn’t. That’s not why we’re here.” Jade smiles at you, but there’s something in his eyes that unnerves you. “Your Highness, you should know it’s poor manners to leave the groom on his special day.”

Floyd circles you restlessly. “S’not fair we gotta be nice when you’re so mean.”

“I’m not going to marry him.”

“I’m afraid you don’t have a choice in that matter.”

“What’d Azul ever do to you?”

You attempt to answer that before realizing the truth. Nothing. He’s done absolutely nothing but be kind and understanding and patient. And I took that, chewed it up, and spat in his face.

“If you used that brain of yours, you wouldn’t have thrown yourself to the sharks. We can’t get to you on land.” “But it’s fair game in the sea,” Floyd finishes, every syllable dripping with pride. “Stupid Two Legs.”

“I’m inclined to agree. You’re not the brightest human. A pity.”

“My brother should’ve gutted you when he had the chance. Maybe then—”

You see the whites of Floyd’s eyes when he strikes, launching himself at you with a clawed hand, sharp, pointed teeth aiming for your jugular.

This is it. You’re dead.

…or not.

The searing pain never comes, nor does the impending laceration. You cling to the boat and watch dark tentacles rise from the depths to close around Floyd, ensnaring him in a firm hold. He thrashes, snapping his jaws like a deranged beast.

“Let go of me, Azul! Lemme at her! She’s a bitch! I’ll kill her!”

“There will be none of that.” Azul tuts. “I don’t intend to marry a corpse.”

Jade swims over to you. “My feelings aren’t hurt in the slightest, Your Highness. If it weren’t for your status and connection to Azul, I’d have disemboweled you ages ago. Quite a relief for you, yes?”

You swallow your horror, allowing him to detach you from the boat so that Azul can turn it over. A tentacle curls around your waist, lifts you from the water, and places you back in the boat. You stare at your hands. They’re trembling. You can hardly hold the dagger properly.

It takes some convincing and a lukewarm apology from you, but Floyd promises to be good. He doesn’t do anything as you’re pulled back to shore, but he does stare at you for the duration of the trip, his eyes tracking your every movement. You press yourself into the belly of the boat, defeated and riddled with anxiety.

Your father isn’t pleased. When you see his enraged expression, the debate dies on your tongue. “You are to marry the prince,” he seethes, pulling you aside, “or else you jeopardize the peace of our kingdom.”

You’re washed and fitted in a new dress. Guards are stationed at all possible routes to prevent another escape.

When you walk down the beach to meet Azul in the shallows, your veil shields the sadness in your stare.

The ceremony carries on without incident. Floyd watches from the water, lurking like Death. You speak rehearsed vows in robotic monotone, mindlessly floating through the rigmarole like it’s second nature. Azul smiles at you through it all, sweetly smitten.

It’s a nightmare lived in real time.

Humans and mers alike congratulate you, cheering for this momentous occasion. Your tongue is numb by the end of it all. You’ve expressed faux gratitude so many times that it hurts to even force the words. And now, as night descends and the party kicks into full swing, you’re left reflecting on the day.

Freedom feels so far away. You’ll never know it again, will you?

Azul guides you away from the crowd. Firelight grows dim with the distance. Eventually, you find yourself taking refuge in a tiny inlet cut into the beach. A rocky outcrop hides you from the moon’s spotlight.

“I’m not upset,” Azul murmurs, curling a tentacle up your leg. “But Floyd is.”

“His brother’s the one who hurt me all those years ago.”

“That was before the union.”

“I’m not letting it go.”

“Perhaps not now, but you will. One day.”

You don’t believe him.

“Our people are at peace. Aren’t you pleased, my love?”

You shove him away, gathering heaps of your dress to walk in calf-deep water. “I’m not your love.”

“Legally, you are.”

“That means nothing to me. Absolutely nothing.”

Azul sighs. “Even now, after everything, you’re still trying to flee.”

“For good reason. I don’t want to be tied down.”

Azul inches closer. Another tentacle wraps slyly around your ankle.

“You’re so beautiful. I feel like the luckiest mer in the sea. To be able to call you my own… My beautiful bride.” He pulls you closer. You resist weakly. “Now that we’re alone I can finally tell you the very thing I’ve thought of ceaselessly for years.”

A tentacle slides up your leg, straying closer to your inner thigh. You flinch away.

“Azul, wait. I don’t want—”

“I love you.”

You squirm in his hold, attempting to thwart the tentacles that grab at your every limb. You trip over yourself in the process. This time Azul doesn’t catch you. Water laps at your dress, soaking through at once. He’s radiant beneath the moon. Dreading his touch, you scoot as far from him as you can get in the water, hoping to reach land. Azul seizes your wrist and pulls you into his arms. You fight him with more force.

“No… No, let go of me! Release me!”

“Why should I? You’re mine now. Is it not customary for a married couple to consummate their new bond? We do something similar in the sea.” A tentacle brushes your veil back so that he can look upon your pretty face. “I’d take you to a quiet space in the seagrass, lay you down in the sand, and then—”

“I don’t want that! No!” You lash out, swinging blindly. A tentacle shoots out to stop your arm before it can smack him. “Azul, please—”

“I was patient. I waited and waited in hopes that you might warm up to me. I cherished you in silence. I learned your language. Your customs. Your habits. I wrote to you. Traveled to meet you. And yet you look at me as if I’m a monster…”

It’s not the devastated look in his eyes or the edge in his voice that scares you. It’s the startling gentleness with which he handles you. Tentacles loop around your body, exploring beneath your gown. You wriggle in discomfort, yelping when suckers brush against the frilly garter secured around your thigh. Azul hums and holds you up in his tentacles, using two to spread your legs so that he may slide it from your leg.

“I wasn’t forceful. I courted you kindly. You accepted all of my gifts. You wore them proudly and I thought—I knew you would love me, too. You were mine from the moment our parents signed that agreement. And if you leave me, you’ll break a political promise and then our kingdoms will go to war and I’ll be sure to collect the heads of your family first. Each one of them, and you will watch as I bring ruin to the kingdom you love so fondly.”

“N-No… Please stop. Please.”

“I’ve waited ten years for you.” A tentacle hooks around your panties. You thrash again, shaking your head at him. He remains unconvinced, watching with gleeful eyes as your nudity is revealed to him. “And aren’t you an angel? Oh, you’re so pretty…”

Like your hopes, your panties are cast aside.

The tip of a tentacle prods curiously at your pussy. Your breath hitches.

“W-Wait! You… You can’t.” His eyes find yours, and you swallow the rising sob. “T-That can’t go inside… It won’t fit. It won’t—”

Azul smiles. “Of course it will. The human body is capable of marvelous feats.”

Even though it’s pointless, you struggle. “I can’t! Please… Azul, I’m scared. Please don’t do this…”

A lone tentacle slides into your hand. Thoughtless, you hold tight.

“My love, there’s no need to cry. I’m not going to hurt you.” He brings you closer, kissing your tears away. “I’m here for you. I’ve always been here, even when you didn’t seem to need me.”

You hiccup, your chest heaving. It’s not lonely for long, for he pulls your dress down your shoulders. Your breasts spill free and are quickly cradled in cold hands. Azul watches your expression with an intense focus while he rolls your nipples between his fingers. You grit your teeth, refusing to respond. But then the tentacle between your legs finds your clit and a sucker affixes to it, suctioning slowly. You gasp and throw your head back, bolts of pleasure racing up your spine. It happens in a white-hot flash. You slacken in his grasp.

Azul laughs, astonished. “Did you cum? Already?”

“Nooo,” you whine, closing your hand around the tentacle once more. Another one strokes your cheek. “You’ve had your fun. Now let go of me…”

“What a silly demand.”

He tugs on your nipples. You groan, lashes fluttering. “Ooh… Stop. No, stop it… Don’t touch there. Not—haa… Not there!”

“You’re so sensitive.” He drags the underside of a tentacle along your cunt and shivers. “And so wet… Is this your season? Do humans experience such a thing?”

You’ve no idea what he’s referring to, but before you can dwell on it he leans down to take your perky bud in his mouth. Your free hand grabs at his hair, pinning him to your chest. His tongue laves across it, warm and wet. You shouldn’t enjoy it so much, and yet you can’t stop yourself from crying out.

He hums against your skin, beaming like a devil. You can’t hate him. He’s your husband. He’s yours. You shouldn’t hate him.

You’re falling apart in his tentacles, grinding down to chase the bliss provided by the underside of the appendage clinging to your pussy. The sinful squelch of skin on skin fills the quiet inlet. The scent of sex and salt intermingles. It’s wrong and it’s right. It’s instinct, carnal and corrupt. Azul groans against your breast, your teat between his teeth.

“Az—ooh!” You tug on his hair, insatiable. Your brain is fogging over with lust. You don’t want to lose yourself in this madness. You can’t. “N-No more… No more.”

But he’s not listening. He pinches your other nipple between his fingers, and that’s all it takes for you to unravel.

In the aftermath, the tapered tip of a thicker tentacle squirms between your thighs. Mindlessly, you spread your legs and lift your hips for him. It presses in shallowly, a jarring experience.

“Not inside—don’t! You can’t!”

Azul pulls away from you, his expression scrunched in woozy ecstasy. “Why not?” he mumbles, smiling stupidly. “You’re my bride. It’s only fair…”

Before you can bicker, he kisses you. His tongue pursues yours in a sloppy tango. You lick into his mouth, desperate and dazed. Lost in a sea of salacity, shipwrecked on an island of forgotten inhibitions.

The tentacle pushes through rings of tight, slick muscle. Tears spring to your eyes. It feels weird and foreign, so unlike your fingers. He holds you close, minding his strength and pace. It fills you slowly, reaching places you’ve never been able to feel. The lust numbs your senses and gives way to something animalistic—a base desire you’ve suppressed. Azul rocks the appendage deeper until it’s pushed up against the entrance to your womb, squeezed snugly in your warm walls.

“I-It’s in…” you mumble once he’s broken the kiss, a strand of saliva connecting your mouths. “It’s really…inside me…”

Azul kisses your cheek and pets you with a tentacle. “We were made for each other.”

Surely not, you think, but it feels so when he draws back and thrusts in. Maybe he’s right.

He fucks you gently, savoring every single sound you make. He tells you he loves you, whispers it over and over like it’s prayer. You nod dumbly, grabbing at his hand to hold it. The both of you are gasping in unison, chasing cloud nine. In just a few more deep strokes, his tip bullying its way to your womb, he finally finds his end. A thin substance fills you up in plentiful amounts. Distantly, you think it’s water until he drags your hips further down. Your mouth drops open in a strangled scream as something round and gelatinous passes through. It settles in your womb, and you know right away that it shouldn’t be there.

You panic. “W-Wait… Wha—Zul… Stop… No, I don’t want—”

“It’s all right,” he breathes, his mouth on your shoulder. He soothes you with soft shushes and even softer kisses. “You’re okay. I’m here.”

You dig your nails into the tentacle curled in your palm just as a second orb squeezes through. He groans, his eyes squeezed shut.

“Finally…” He pants, a wobbly smile stretching on his delirious countenance. “Finally, my love, my dear—oh, my beloved bride!”

He cradles you like a mother would a newborn. You lie there as he fills you, your voice hoarse from babbling and bewailing. These things—little orbs of jelly—are stuffed into your womb, and by the time you surpass twenty you lose count and blank out, trembling through yet another orgasm. You’re not sure how many more he has left or how many more you can possibly fit. It feels too good to think about that.

“Bigger. They’ll get bigger. You’ll look so pretty—round and full and soft.”

Dizzy, you glance at the bloated dome that is your belly. Your gown strains over it, an impressively deceptive size that you almost mistake for pregnancy. That’s when it clicks. Eggs. These are eggs.

“I’ll make sure they survive. All of them—as many as I possibly can. I’ll stay by your side. I’ll keep you content. I’ll fill you with love—so much love—an abundance of it, and you’ll never know emptiness again,” he rambles, resting a tentacle over your distended middle.

It’s not just a senseless sweet nothing. It’s a promise.

#yandere twst #yandere twst x reader #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere twisted wonderland x reader #yandere azul ashengrotto #yandere azul x reader #yandere azul ashengrotto x reader #yandere azul #n/sfw #tw: noncon #tw: breeding #tw: oviposition

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xo-codbby · 7 months ago

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forgive the inaccuracies, idk much about babies my bad ☠ baby isn't named, hope you enjoy :)

another kid taking simon's baby's toy? absolute hell

it had been two days of crying and sobbing from the infant, he was in shock of how she many tears she seemed to be able to shed worriedly wondering if she would even get dehydrated at one point. but it wasn't much better when she calmed down, he absolutely hated how sad and miserable she looked as she moped around.

the holiday had seemed so bleak now, you had ordered a replacement plush giraffe for your baby the same as the last but it would be shipped to your home. not to the resort you were currently on and with still a week to go, you didn't know if your baby could hang on for that long. and simon regretted even booking the trip at all, he cursed the hotel for being so incompetent. cursed the people that took her beloved toy away and himself for not being able to find it anywhere.

both of you trying to engage in playtime with your baby who didn't seem very receptive to any of it, it was her first time with sand in all the 7 months of her being alive and at the beginning she loved playing sandcastles with him but now she just looked blankly at it. hardly wanting to join as the soft sad look on her face persisted

"i'll go check with the staff again, maybe they've found something?" you offered standing up, hoping that her little toy would pop out from somewhere while your husband gave you a gentle nod sighing softly himself. he looks back to the infant, giving her a faint smile as he tilted his head

"c'mon sweetheart, it's gonna be alright. look, we can still have plenty fun" simon tried everything, doing the voices she loved, making all different types things in the sand, even sprinkling some on her little hands and feet but it didn't elicit any sort of response from her as she held her little toy spade tapping the sand hopelessly. he sighed once more, shaking his head as he looked up for you hoping magically her giraffe would be in your hand

but it's her shriek and gasp that jolts him slightly, blinking down at her watching her legs trying to crawl eagerly to somewhere while he looks around the families trying to figure out what got her so concerned

and then he spots it, his own heart thudding against his chest

he saw a little boy holding the same pastel giraffe and the sight filled him with triumph and anger. this little kid stole his baby's toy, put his whole family through hell, at this point that damned giraffe felt like his second kid, all while those parents watched without a care in the world? the cursive lettering on the side of the giraffe only confirmed his doubts as he stiffened up.

target set, he was ready to attack

he heard you come back, not finding anything from the staff as you look at him a little confused. your brow raised as he gets up, leaving the baby beside you stalking to the other family with a bone to pick

and like usual, simon doesn't even bother with pleasantries. walking straight to the parents eyes narrowing on the boy playing on the floor, swallowing down the anger that wanted to rip out of his throat as he looked at the giraffe. it was his, it belonged to him

"can we help you?" he hears the mother speak, her tone cautious and wary as she frowns. he barely gives her a glance before he snatches up the giraffe from her son, relishing in the protests as he stepped towards the woman. his face set eerily in a neutral expression but the emotions burned deep inside his eyes, brown eyes darkening as they settled on the woman

"yeah, teach your son not to steal from others. cheers" he spoke coldly, daring one of them to stand up to him. he was in the mood to fight, nights of dealing with his unhappy baby had left him feeling on edge and he was more than willing to shout his rage at someone.

but they didn't say a thing, who would to a 6'4 behemoth of a man, already pissed off and aggravated, just looking for a reason to snap back?

the silence had been resounding and he was satisfied, shooting them a last look as he stormed off. heading back to where you and his infant sat, presenting the beloved giraffe as a gift

"got your little friend, munchkin" his voice immediately softens as he kneels down on the sand once more, handing her the plush toy chuckling gently at her small excited giggles. tiny hands grabbing excitedly as she pressed the giraffe to her chest in pure relief making you both smile. he steadies her and her small frame nuzzles into his chest, a string of "dada" happily falling from her lips making his heart clench with adoration and love. smiling softly at you as he holds his little mini close to his chest, cuddling her tight

she ends up falling out of love with the giraffe the next day

#idk i wanted to write dad simon so bad lmaooo #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #cod 141 #simon ghost x reader #simon riley #simon riley x y/n #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x you #dad!ghost #dad!simon riley #ghost x reader

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dreamescapeswriting · 1 year ago

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Night Routine ~ MYG

WORD COUNT: 1.4K

GENRE: established relationships, parent AU, cute, fluffy, Yoongi being appreciative of his wife, both of them being adorable for one another

PAIRING: Yoongi x Fem!Reader

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - January 2024

⤜MASTERLIST

A/N: I’m sorry this came out so short T-T

When you first found out that you were having a baby you'd worried that things were going to be strained between you and Yoongi, but you couldn't have been more wrong. Ever since you told him about the pregnancy he had become one of the most dotting husbands you could have ever asked for, anything you needed - or wanted - you got with only one ask. Though there had been a time in your pregnancy when Yoongi had been a little over the top with you, refusing to let you do anything except rest in bed until your waters broke.

"He's the cutest baby, ever," Yoongi told the boys as they sat in the living room. It was a few weeks since you'd given birth and it was finally time the uncles met their nephew, which they'd all nicknamed "Little Min".

"I think you're biassed," You giggled as you watched Yoongi rocking back and forth on the rocking chair with your son, his eyes fixated on him as if he could never look away. Yoongi could barely get away from his son, which you loved since you knew there were many parents out there that didn't want anything to do with their kids and you were thankful every day that Yoongi wasn't one of those.

The man had continued to postpone going back to work after his paternity leave had ended, choosing to use most of his holiday days from work for now and even asking if there was a way he could work from home. Yoongi never wanted to leave little Min's side, or yours for that matter which you found rather cute, though you were going to miss him when HYBE would eventually demand him back at the building. While Yoongi could happily work from home there was eventually going to come to a point where he would have to go back.

There had been a time in his life when work was the only thing that interested him, that if he wasn't working he was sleeping but now all of that was on the back burner as he put his family before everything.

"I will say, Little Min, is very cute." Taehyung chuckled as he looked over Yoongi's shoulder and smiled. The baby boy looked almost identical to you save for his nose which was most definitely your husband's, the boys fell in love the moment you gave birth.

"He'll get mine and Yn's talents all mixed into one tiny package," Yoongi told the boys as you smiled a little, your eyes getting heavier the longer you sat there. It had been a long night last night since Little Min decided he was going to cry every time you left the room to go back to your own bed, in the end, you'd ended up falling asleep on the rocking chair which hadn't been the best decision since now you had a cramp in your neck.

"The baby keeping you up at night, Yn?" Jimin questioned when he noticed that you were starting to slowly nod off on them, you never once complained about the late nights but it was obvious that they were starting to get to you. You were finding it harder and harder to stay awake through the day and you knew it wasn't ideal when you would be alone with your son soon. But it was your job as a mother to stay awake with him in the night and to make sure you could ease him back to sleep.

"He sleeps through the night," Yoongi announced proudly, not knowing the truth, your heart sunk a little as you realised it was going to come out to your husband, that wasn't in fact the case. You'd kept it from him, you knew how hard he worked and you didn't want your son to wake him in the middle of the night so you made sure to go straight away.

"Are you sure? Because Yn looks shattered," Namjoon chuckles, adding a quick "no offensive" at the end as you let out a tired laugh and shake your head. It was true you looked tired and you knew it, god even your bags had bags at this point but you weren't going to complain, not even once.

"Yn?" Yoongi turned himself to look at you, studying you for a moment and realising just how tired you did look and his heart broke a little.

"Does he wake you up?" Yoongi frowned, glancing over at you as you bit down on your lip a little, you didn't hide it from him to be mean or anything like that, it was simply because you wanted him to rest. Yoongi needed his sleep for work, you could always catch up on it the next day while your son napped.

"Only sometimes," You lied, your nose scrunching up as you did so and Yoongi pouted a little. He'd been with you long enough to know the telltale signs of when you were lying and your nose scrunching like that was one of them,

"Yn," He laughed weakly and shook his head at you, the boys smiled at one another and got up. It was obvious that you and Yoongi needed some time alone to talk about this and they were going to give that to you,

"We'll see you guys later, okay?" Jin asked as he bent down, giving you a tight squeeze as you hugged him back and smiled. The boys had become like brothers to you over the years,

"And if you ever need a babysitter, I'm only down the street," Hobi suggested as he hugged you next, moving to go and give little Min a kiss on the forehead as he fussed a little.

Once the boys had left Yoongi put your son back down to sleep and came to sit beside you on the loveseat, your head fell onto his shoulder and he held onto your hand, running his thumb over your skin. The thought of you doing all of the night feeds and changes crawled into his mind and guilt began to weigh him down,

"Why didn't you tell me he wasn't sleeping through the night? I could have been helping you," He whispered as you shook your head at him,

"You're going back to work soon, I didn't want you to be tired." You mumbled, yawning a little before looking up at Yoongi who seemed dumbfounded,

"I'm his mother, it's my job to be up with him." You mumbled the saying to him. You'd done so much online research and saw just how strong all of the other mothers were with this you knew you had to power through and be that for your son. If other people could stay up through the night and feel fine the next day then you were going to be the same way.

"You're the best mother in the world, that's true but do you know what I am?" He quizzed, moving a little to reach for a blanket to cover you both with, your eyes getting too heavy for you to try and keep open and you let them shut. Snuggling into your husband and letting out a relieved sigh as your body relaxed against his,

"Hmm?" You questioned, too tired to form any actual words at the moment,

"I'm his father which means it is also my job to look after him," He smiles as he notices your body relaxing more and more as you sink into a sleep state,

"And you." His voice seemed to be getting further away as you listened to him, a clear sign you were more tired than you thought and he smiled weakly.

"From now on, we will share the night routine. You're a strong mother Yn and there's no shame in asking for help," He whispered but you were already fast asleep by the time he said it.

You woke with a jump as you glanced around, you were laid in bed but the last thing you remembered was being on the loveseat with Yoongi, your husband, who wasn't in bed with you.

"Yoongi?" You whispered sliding out of the bed, grabbing your cardigan and making your way to the nursery, stopping in the door frame to see Yoongi who was cradling your son and rocking on the rocking chair inside of the room.

"He was fussing, so I came to put him back to sleep." He whispered, making your heart flutter as you knelt down beside the chair and looked at your two favourite boys in the whole world.

"We share the night routine," He ordered before kissing your cheek and sending you back to your own bed for the rest of the night so you could get some much needed rest.

#bts #bts x reader #bts imagine #bts imagines #min yoongi #yoongi #yoongi x reader #yoongi imagine #yoongi imagines #min yoongi x reader #min yoongi imagine #min yoongi imagines #suga #suga x reader #suga imagine #suga imagines

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byunpum · 1 year ago

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Mama's Boy | Part 4

Pair: Jake x neytiri x human reader (trio couple) x sully children's

Warning: Kinda sad, cozy moments, conflict, family problems

Note: This part may be a bit long, but I hope you still enjoy it. I think only one part is left, but we'll see. Do you like the reading to be this long or shorter?. btwI recently opened a KO-Fi��. if you want to leave any tips or support I would appreciate it (it would help me to buy real coffee xD).

AVATAR MASTERLIST | Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6(final)

7 years ago… You were quite calm decorating and cleaning your home, neytiri was out for a walk with kiri and baby tuk. While jake had gone out to practice with lo'ak and neteyam. Leaving you alone, and peaceful. But all that quiet was interrupted, when you heard a lo'ak crying. He came rushing in, straight towards you. He was wiping away the tears that were falling on his cheeks. "MAMA" lo'ak whimpers, coming towards you. Throwing himself into your arms, not caring what you were doing. The boy wrapped his arms around your neck, burying his face in your neck. Lo'ak was 7 years old, and already about your height. But that didn't stop his mother from comforting him, and right now he needed it. "Honey…what's wrong? You're hurt" you push him away a little, taking a quick look. You see that he doesn't have any injuries, so what was wrong with him. You hug him again, caress his back. And you cuddle him from side to side. Trying to calm the child down. After a couple of minutes, you feel lo'ak move away a little. You wipe his face a little. "Are you more calm?" you smile at him a little trying to comfort him.

"Yes…it's just that…" lo'ak tries to speak, but stops when he feels his tears coming again. "Calm down love…what's wrong" you speak, you were worrying about whatever had happened, it was really mortifying him. "I was with daddy…practicing my shots with my bow. It was my turn and " lo'ak takes a deep breath. You already knew what the boy was going to say, you gently caress his cheek. "I didn't get it right…and I would try again many times. But dad told me that neteyam was better at archery than me. And that's not true!!!" Lo'ak begins to cry. "Love…daddy only said that for your own good, to make you better" you know it's not right what jake said. You hated it when jake compared lo'ak to neteyam. "No…he said neteyam was much better than me in everything…that I should be like him. And I don't want to be like neteyam, neteyam is ugly" lo'ak yells a little.

"Hey, first neteyam is not to blame for anything…and second, I will talk to your father. But love…don't make a big deal out of those comments. Your father sometimes doesn't think about what he's going to say, okay?" you try to reassure the boy. "Why don't you go and find spider, and you two can play. Yeah?" you say, watching as the boy perks up.

That same night, you and Jake have a big argument. Even neytiri had to step in. She was never on either side. It was so bad, that you even took lo'ak and left the house to sleep with mo'at. Behind you were kiri and neteyam. "You can't take the children with you," shouts Jake in anger. "Of course I can, I'm not going to leave them here with an immature person" you shout back, neytiri was trying to rationalize with you. But she ends up following you, giving Jake a disapproving look.

Present day…

"mom…can you help me with this?" asks neteyam, approaching you. He was holding a pretty feather ornament. "Sure come here sweetie" you speak, inviting him to sit down in front of you. You get up from the floor, to now work on his hair. The whole family had gotten up early to finish packing, almost everything was ready. But there were more things to pack, now that they had spent time in the metkayina clan. As you worked on neteyam's hair, you noticed how the scar from his wound had healed, but it was still there. "Honey…I'm glad to see you are healing" you speak, listening as neteyam laughs but then goes silent. "mom for a moment i thought i was going to die and never see you again" neteyam says. Lo'ak was sitting on your left side, he heard what his brother said. He quickly tapped him on the shoulder. "Bro…don't say that" lo'ak didn't like to talk about it. You on the other hand felt sorry, you almost lost one of your babies and you weren't there. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, and give him a hug. The tightest hug you can. "I would have found a way to see you, you know that right?" you speak, watching as the boy turns to look at you. "I know mom…that's why I stopped worrying" neteyam laughs a little. Settling down so you can continue to work on his hair.

Meanwhile tonowari was on his way to the sully's marui, that same morning he woke up early and discussed his decision with ronal, the woman strongly disagreed. She did not like the idea of having a human in her clan. But she had to support her partner's decision. Tonowari quietly approached the entrance of the marui and stood in silence. To his surprise, he had the scene that lo'ak was trying to explain to him the night before. Neteyam was sitting, while you were combing his hair. Lo'ak sat next to you eating a piece of fruit, while laughing with kiri. The children looked so happy around you, they felt safe. He walked in a little, causing his presence to be noticed by jake. The whole family looked at him. "tonowari…is something wrong?" asks jake, finding the man's presence in their home strange.

"I came here because I want to talk…to the whole family" says tonowari, looking at you quickly. I had to admit, your presence was strange. "Come in," says Jake. Everyone turns their attention to the man who had now sat down. "Your son…lo'ak" tonowari points to lo'ak quickly. Jake looks at him with concern, what lo'ak must have done now. Swallowing hard, praying it's nothing bad. "The boy talked to me and I must say he was mature enough to stand up for his mother" tonowari says.

"I'm sorry if he said something he shouldn't I" jake started to apologize, but tonowari raises his hand to pause him. "He didn't do anything wrong…in fact he convinced me. I accept that human stays between us" tonowari says, lo'ak looks at you and smiles wide. Holding your hand tightly. "Are you serious?" jake couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Yes…I can imagine how bad it must be for the family not to have a member in it." Tonowari can see how everyone in the family gets excited. "But I have one condition," Tonowari says, staring at you. "Yes tell me…whatever" you speak, tonowari is surprised. For the first time he was talking to you face to face, he must admit you were very beautiful. And he could notice some features you shared with your son, lo'ak.

"I will give you a testing time. You will have to live as a metkayina, swim, fish, work as a metkayina. You will not be anyone's burden, and you will earn your own place here in the clan, that's for sure," says Tonowari. He was serious, you only had one chance. If you did something wrong, or made a mistake it was all over. "Don't worry, I will do my best. I assure you I won't cause any trouble," you say. "They're going to love her," says Kiri excitedly, getting up from the floor to hug you. This news makes the whole family happy. Tonowari says goodbye and leaves. The whole family is silent for a moment, analyzing what had happened. This was a lot of information, for such a short time. "Mom…you are staying here!!!" says lo'ak, the boy is so excited. He was about to cry. The only family member who hadn't said anything was jake, he was still sitting in the same position.

"Lo'ak…why did you go talk to tonowari and not say anything to me" jake sounded upset, in fact he looked upset. "Jake" neytiri starts talking, she already knew what jake was going to come out with. "Dad it's just that you had argued with him and I wanted to fix things" lo'ak tries to explain his point of view. "You know this could have ended worse" jake says, you pick yourself up off the floor. Making a noise like 'ha'. Jake looks at you in surprise. "I can't believe it, your son has done something wonderful. And instead of congratulating him…you're scolding him? You are unbelievable jake" you speak, while crossing your arms. Neytiri could see your position, and if there was one thing she knew, it was that you were not an easy woman. You might be small, but your character and the power you had over Jake was gigantic. "Okay, everybody calm down. Lo'ak you did a great job" neytiri reaches up to stroke the boy's face. "And jake…Y/N is right, no need to complain" neytiri speaks, hoping everything will calm down.

Jake takes a deep breath, stretching his arms in the air. Shaking his body a little, stretching out one of his hands to signal for you to come closer. He had a goofy grin on his face, when he felt you approach his arm. Skillfully grabbing your waist, with a quick movement pulling you into his body . Cuddling you into his arms, filling your cheeks with kisses as your laughter could be heard throughout the marui. This was supposed to be a moment of happiness for the family, they were finally going to be together after a long time apart. That same morning, everyone helped to unpack all the belongings. Neytiri was thankful that the heaviest things had not been packed, because they did have a lot of things. Also that night, the family celebrated like in the old days, of course…inside the marui and in silence. Preparing a good meal, dancing and laughing about the old days. It felt so nostalgic, it had been a long time since they had had such a good time.

Everyone got ready to rest. The boys settled into their hammocks, ready to sleep. As in the old days, you went one by one to say good night to them. Giving them a kiss on the forehead. First it was tuk, then kiri, then neteyam and for the last it was lo'ak. "Goodnight my precious baby" you speak, giving him a kiss on the forehead. Watching as lo'ak giggles tenderly, he looked so adorable like that. "Mama can you sleep with me?" lo'ak asks you, causing a smile from you. "Love…" you didn't know what to say to him, lo'ak was too old for you to sleep with him. But you felt sorry for your boy, he had missed you so much. But if you were going to be fair, all the children in the family had asked to sleep with you. Just before you could give an answer, Jake came up behind you. "ahh no, your mom is going to sleep with us…and that's it" says jake, seeing how lo'ak's face is one of sadness. "I promise you that later mom will sleep with you, ok?" you speak, saying goodbye again to lo'ak.

Jake and you walked away. Jake looked back, to see lo'ak giving him a dirty look. This surprised Jake, chuckling to himself. As he walked you over to the hammock you shared. "Ney" you hum, as you climb into the hammock. Snuggling into neytiri's chest, she snuggles you into her arms. Feeling jake settle in behind you. "Your son hates me," jake says, burying his head in the back of your neck. "Which one?" you speak, as neytiri lets out a laugh. "Hey" jake slaps you on your ass. You and neytiri continue to laugh. "I'm talking about lo'ak, you would have seen the way he looks at me" jake was still shocked, lo'ak had never looked at him like that. "You asked for it…you're taking his mom" says neytiri. "Yeah but his mom…she's ours too, isn't she?" says jake, leaving a few wet kisses on your neck. Neytiri hugs you tighter on her chest, you felt so good. You had missed them too much.

2 months later…

You had gotten used to life in the new clan pretty fast. You had started taking some lessons with ronal on fishing, since you couldn't ride an ilu. You had to do everything the traditional way, according to the na'vis. But for you it was normal, humans had to do things traditionally all the time. So fishing with a net, collecting the things you had to use, even though it was more difficult, you had managed it. Ronal was still not very sure about you, whenever you were with her there was always your bodyguard, Neytiri. Your partner did not leave you alone with Ronal at any time. According to Neytiri Ronal could tempt you with your life. You thought she was overreacting, but you didn't argue with neytiri about such things, she had always been that way with you.

On the other hand, tonowari could tell that everything jake and lo'ak had told her about you was true. You were the most peaceful person he had ever met. He had barely listened to you, well… he hadn't talked to you much. But whenever he saw you, you were always with your children, or helping a clan member. Tonowari would approach the na'vis and ask them what they thought of you. They would always respond with a 'she is very nice''I like her, she is a very good person'. This would relieve it a little, but you were still on probation.

On the other hand, your relationship with your family was in a good state, better than ever. Everything seemed to be running smoothly. Or so you thought. It was morning around 10:00 am as far as you could calculate. Kiri had insisted the night before that you accompany her to look for shells on the beach where she liked to go. You accepted without a problem, you had nothing to do and wanted to spend time with one of your girls. Lo'ak was invited to the expedition, of course he didn't have to ask…he was always with you. If he wasn't with his friends, it was behind you. "Hey…watch out, the sun looks like it's going to be very hot" says neytiri. If the sun was bad for the na'vi, it was worse for you. You joke a little, watching as neytiri approaches you to put some kind of cream on you to protect you from the sun. You and Jake joked that this was a sunblock bomb, because the smell was so strong. "Ahh I hate that smell!!!" you complain, but neytiri nips you a little to stop you from moving. "Yeah…but you're going to thank me when you don't get burned like a tapirus" neytiri sounds angry, seeing that you don't take her concern seriously.

You say goodbye and leave with kiri and lo'ak towards the beach. They arrived quickly, the place was very close. Kiri was lying in the water, sinking her face from time to time. While you were sitting next to her, you had your head back and your eyes closed. Enjoying the warmth, it had rained a lot the previous days. The weather felt great. While lo'ak was playing eywa knows where. You could just hear the water splashing in the distance. Out of nowhere, you feel someone approach and make a spray of water fall on your face. "Lo'ak…watch out!!!" you scold, seeing the boy laughing in front of you. He looked like a puppy about to make a mischief. "Mom, I want you to meet someone?" says lo'ak. This gets your attention, settling in straight to look at him. "Is it a girl? Tsireya?" you ask, lo'ak gets nervous and moves his face in a 'no' expression. "It's something better…it's my other brother" lo'ak says, you look at him curiously. Lo'ak had gone crazy, as far as you knew the only brother he had was neteyam. "You mean teyam?" you say.

Lo'ak lets out a laugh, as he sits closer to you. "Mama no, he is ahhh he is a tulkun. I want you to meet him" lo'ak was excited, he wanted you to meet payakan. You think about it for a while, but you accept. You couldn't say no to that adorable little face. You tap kiri's shoulder. The little girl lifts her face. "What happened, Mom?" speaks Kiri, and you brush a few strands of hair out of her face. "Honey I'm going for a walk with lo'ak do you want to go?" you ask her. "Nooo mama just you and me" lo'ak complains, crossing his arms. "You don't have to yell…mom don't worry I'll be here a while longer and then I'll go home" kiri says.

"Ok….but be very careful. I trust you" you speak, watching as Kiri smiles at you and goes back to playing with the little fish in the area. You get up from the water, accompanying lo'ak. He was already jumping up and down with excitement. Telling you all about his friend, how he met him and where he came from. All while walking towards his ilu. The trip was quite fast, lo'ak arrived getting up a little from his ilu. Calling out his friend's name. "Mama he will be here soon" lo'ak looks around, seeing if he saw his friend. "Don't worry if he doesn't come" you speak up, but remain silent when you see as a shadow below you. "Here he is!!!" lo'ak says, excited. Payakan comes out of the water, making a noise of greeting. "Payakan look…this is my mom. Remember I told you about her?" says lo'ak moving to the side, to take your hand. So that you would come closer to him. Lo'ak sometimes forgot that your legs were shorter and you were smaller. But you manage to stand now on the creature's flipper. While lo'ak's ilu begins to swim around.

"Mama he is payakan my brother…and payakan she is my mama" lo'ak speaks, petting the creature. Tulkun makes another noise, and you startle a little. You had to admit that this was very new to you. You still didn't understand the language of signs very well, let alone this creature. "mama he says you are very pretty" says lo'ak. You could see the look of pride on his face, this was very important to him. "Thank you" you look at payakan, and he gets excited. Making a stream of water come out of his back. "Mama likes you very much" lo'ak says. You giggle a little, reaching over to pet the creature. It was very amazing and majestic. You and lo'ak spent the whole afternoon playing and hanging out together. For a moment, you just sit in lo'ak's ilu, watching the boy swim and play with his friend. You loved seeing him like that, so happy and carefree.

After a while, for some reason you started to feel sick. You had felt dizzy that morning, but you didn't think it was important. But now you were feeling worse, the dizziness was getting stronger and your vision was getting quite blurry. And not to mention the headache and stomach pain you were getting. "L-lo'ak" you yell under your breath. You were already writhing in pain, you lean forward. Trying to get your balance. The ilu of lo'ak noticed something was going on, and began to make a lot of noise. Catching lo'ak's attention, the boy stops swimming and takes a look at your location. He can tell how you were moving oddly, and his ilu looked a little uneasy.

He swims as fast as he can, coming towards you. "MAMA, MAMA!!!" lo'ak approaches and tries to get your attention. Lifting your shoulder, but he sees how you don't respond. You had fainted, your body was resting in the ilu. "Mom get up, what's wrong with you!!!" lo'ak is getting very desperate, what had happened to you, you were fine minutes ago. Maybe the sun was too strong, or you were sick. Lo'ak climbs into his ilu, carrying you in his arms. Leaving for the clan, he made his ilu swim as fast as possible, but he could not hold back his tears. You were still not getting up and he was getting desperate. "mama please…get up" shouts lo'ak shaking you a little. The trip back was a long one for lo'ak, arriving at the coast. Shouting his father's name for him to arrive. "Dad!!!dad!!!help!!!" shouts lo'ak.

Jake had arrived at the marui, he was accompanied by neytiri. Kiri had told them that you and lo'ak had gone for a walk. But she didn't tell them where you were going, this made Jake a little nervous. Jake was very careful with you, and even more so since you were on probation. You couldn't cause trouble or else they would have to leave. Jake hears the shouts of lo'ak, who were approaching the marui. "What's going on?" neytiri gets up from the ground, running to the entrance accompanied by jake. Watching as lo'ak enters with his mother in his arms. You had woken up on the road, but a you were still very dizzy. "Y/N!!!" neytiri takes you in her arms, and quickly places you on the ground. "Lo'ak what happened…what happened?" shouts jake, sitting down next to neytiri. Watching as the woman tried to stabilize y/n. "Honey, come on open your eyes" says jake, tapping you on the cheek. While neytiri placed a wet cloth on her forehead, jake tried to get your oxygen machine to pump out more oxygen (here I'm talking about the mask the reader is wearing).

After a while, neytiri managed to get you up. "Take some water" neytiri speaks, stroking your hair. You were sitting up, feeling tired and even a little dizzy. Lo'ak was standing all this time, watching as his parents tried to help you. "Don't worry…it was just a dizzy feeling" you laugh a little. "A simple dizziness…ma y/n you were unconscious" neytiri speaks annoyed. Meanwhile jake was walking from one side of the marui to the other. "Lo'ak what the hell happened? What did you do?" jake looks at lo'ak intensely. "I…mom and I were at the sea. We were visiting payakan" lo'ak says timidly. The poor boy looks at you quickly, trying to seek your help. "J-jake" you speak softly. But you watch as your partner ignores you, and moves closer to lo'ak. "Why are you so ignorant…you know that's a dangerous place for your mother" jake yells.

"But daddy" lo'ak tries to defend himself. "Dad nothing… why are you like this? You're fucking irresponsible" jake yells again. But the words were like a knife to lo'ak, jake was acting as if the boy had caused this on purpose. "JAKE" you yell, getting up from the ground. Neytiri tries to stop you, but you walk towards jake. "What the hell is wrong with you?" you look at Jake in shock. "I'm telling him the truth, why can't he behave like neteyam" says jake.

"Because he's not neteyam!!!!" you yell as loud as you can. Lo'ak wipes away some tears and runs out of the marui. "Lo'ak come over here!!!" jake was going to stop lo'ak, but you stop him. "What do you want him to stay for?" you were annoyed, jake was always going overboard with lo'ak. He didn't half like how he talked to his son. "Why do you keep comparing lo'ak to neteyam? They are completely different people. Besides this whole situation is not his fault" you speak.

"But he knows he shouldn't take you to that place," Jake speaks. "Jake, I'm a grown woman…I do what I want. And I'm getting sick and tired of this attitude you have with our kids. I'm reaching my limit" you were so upset, you were turning red with anger. "Y/N listen to me" jake tries to speak.

"I don't want to listen to you…this isn't something that's happening now. This has been going on for years. Have you ever wondered why your children look at you with fear, because yes, they are afraid of you? Have you ever asked them how they feel or what they want to do, no. You just give orders and think that everyone is doing what they want to do. You just give orders and think everyone here is going to follow them." You yell, pacing a bit all over the marui. Neytiri was sitting on the floor watching and listening to all the discussion. She wasn't saying anything, because she knows you were right.

"I think I'm tired of this…I love you Jake, I love you with all my soul, but I think it's best if we go back to our home… "You lower your head, you felt bad and this whole situation was exhausting you more. You didn't want it to escalate to this level. "Let's go home?" jake gets a little confused, glancing quickly at neytiri. She lifts her shoulders, she didn't know what you were talking about. "I will go with lo'ak to our home, live with mo'at. If any of the children want to leave with me I will take them. But I will not leave them here…getting this treatment. Because they deserve to have a normal childhood" you had tears in your eyes. Leaving Jake there silent and stunned, as you walked towards the Marui's balcony. Neytiri gets up quickly chasing after you.

"Y/N!!!" neytiri holds your hand, you didn't want to look at her. You were too overwhelmed. "Tell me what you are saying is not true. You love us, you love me and Jake. We can work this out." neytiri makes you look at her. She knew you were right, but she couldn't let you go. Let one of her children go away. "I can't stand jake" you yell a little. Neytiri stands there in silence, she knew you weren't really saying it, you loved Jake. Something was happening to you. "You are not serious" neytiri sounded sad. "Ney…let's go away, the two of us, let's go back home. I need to be home" you start crying, the more you talk. Neytiri pulls you to her chest, wrapping you in a very tight hug. "Ma y/n…be calm. I miss our home too" says neytiri. Sitting there, with you in her arms.she sensed something was happening to you, something in you was changing, you weren't like that. Meanwhile, Jake was not far from you. He felt so bad…this was his fault.

"Do you think mom will leave us?" tuk looks at neteyam and kiri. The group of kids had been spying on their parents, when they saw lo'ak come out of the marui. The boy was sitting next to neteyam. He was still teary-eyed. "Well I'm going to my mama's," said lo'ak, he was upset. "I…I don't know. But I don't want mom to leave" neteyam looks back inside the marui. This is the first time he has seen his parents argue like this.

P.s I promise I will upload the next part soon. But I would like to know what you guys think so far. And what do you think is going to happen?

Tag: @baybaybear1@hoodiepandaninja16@teyyyteyyy@anika-rose-walker@victoria2054 @raviolisblog @jessi-dan@neteyams-wh0re@jimfiqs@bitchykittenconnoisseur@chershire23@holynightnacho@danilezilla @thepotatoislost

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daenysx · 9 months ago

Note

can i request some drabble about the baby boy mentioned in the dad hcs, since hes the younger child, and the girl is 3 years older than him, maybe his birth and her and aemond reaction to it!😃

i hope you enjoy ♡

modern!aemond targaryen x fem!reader, fluff

aemond remembers how his mother tells him alyssa is the calmest baby she's ever seen.

she has a point, he thinks. it's never easy, sitting on a hospital bench as he waits for the birth of his baby. this time he has his girl on his lap, three years old and the loveliest person he knows. they didn't let him in. he tries to be as calm as alyssa.

helaena sits next to him, she reaches to hold his hand. aemond is desperate for any comfort he can get, alyssa leans against her father's chest as he wraps an arm around her. she knows they are waiting for her baby brother but she has no idea what to expect. she doesn't know her mom can be hurting. she just waits with huge eyes following her dad. she stares at helaena who gives her a pretty smile.

"it'll be okay." helaena says.

"i almost forgot how hard it is." aemond says, staring at the floor. "waiting outside when she fights there."

"they would tell us if there's something wrong." his sister tells him. she squeezes his fingers. "you have to believe they'll be okay."

"i believe it." aemond says, quietly. his free hand fixes alyssa's silver hair softly.

"daddy?" she lifts her head to see him properly. "i wanna see mom."

aemond gives her a long kiss on her forehead. "we'll see mom and your baby brother soon. we just need to wait a little more."

"why are you sad?" she asks him. aemond needs to keep his face cool.

"i'm not sad, baby, i promise." he smiles. "i'm just excited to meet your brother."

"me too." alyssa says. she plays with the buttons of aemond's shirt.

"why don't we go get something to eat?" helaena says, reaching for her niece. "i think i saw your favorite cupcakes at the cafeteria."

"you did?"

"yes!" she takes alyssa's hand to let her walk slowly. "we can also bring a cup of coffee to daddy."

aemond is grateful for his big sister more than he already is. he watches them walk away, keeps staring at the walls as he waits. the minutes make fun of him. when will someone come and tell him what's happening inside? are you okay? the baby? he huffs quietly, tilting his head back to the wall.

he was there when alyssa was born and he thinks it was easier. he got to hold your hand and talked to you. now, you're alone. he's terrified if something bad happens to you, no matter what the doctors say aemond knows every birth is a risk.

he takes a deep breath. almost half an hour passed since helaena and his girl left. he sees them coming back, alyssa tries to catch up with her aunt with her tiny legs.

"thank you." aemond says when his sister gives him the coffee cup. "you got your cupcake, baby?" he asks when alyssa climbs on his lap. she nods. "chocolate." she says, holding onto his arm.

"that's nice." aemond tells her. he takes a sip from his coffee but it doesn't do anything to calm his nerves. he looks at helaena. "can we ask someone- they still don't say anything, i can't wait any longer-"

"mr. targaryen?" aemond sees the nurse when he lifts his head. he puts the cup aside and stands up with alyssa in his arms.

"yes?"

"congratulations." the nurse smiles. "you have a healthy boy."

aemond feels a ton of bricks lift up from his chest. "my wife?"

"she's okay. they will bring her and the baby to the room, you can meet them there."

aemond nods, he accepts a hug from helaena. little alyssa wraps her arms around her dad, she notices his pout disappear. aemond kisses her cheek as he walks to the room.

you look exhausted but there's a smile on your face when you see them. the nurses bring your baby to you, they help you sit straight as much as possible with so many pillows behind your back. you tear up the first time you get to hold him in your arms.

"aemond-" you cry. "look at him."

aemond comes to your side. helaena waits by the door to give you some privacy, she doesn't need to do that but she's just too nice. "look." you show him your son proudly. "he has your hair."

"he's so beautiful." aemond says. that's what his son is to him on their first encounter. beautiful. he opens his eyes and aemond sees two shiny lilacs looking at him. he holds alyssa tighter to his chest.

"are you okay?" aemond asks you before giving you a kiss on your hair. "i was so worried."

"i'm okay now." you say. you turn to your little girl who watches you silently. "hi, baby. do you want to meet your brother?"

she nods, and helaena steps in. she takes alyssa in her arms with a delightful smile directed at you. "he's such a pretty boy." she says. "nice to meet you, little angel."

you give your son to aemond's arms. he's cautious, it's a core memory to hold a newborn baby. "this is your brother, little love." he tells alyssa. "his name is aelyx."

"lyx." alyssa says. she watches the baby making quiet noises, her soft hand touches his little fist. "hello."

"you'll be taking care of each other, okay?" aemond says with a wet eye. "you're a big sister now."

"just like me." helaena says, smiling.

alyssa keeps watching the baby the following seconds. it's so interesting to see such a little human, he looks even tinier in aemond's arms. you watch how gentle he is with his son, forgetting all the pain you felt for a minute.

"she'll be such a good sister." you tell aemond. "look at her."

"she will." aemond says, watching her daughter's big eyes as she follows her brother.

#aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen x reader #house of the dragon #modern!aemond #aemond x you #aemond x reader #hotd #aemond one eye #aemond targaryen x you #aemond targaryen x fem!reader #aemond targaryen fic #aemond targaryen fanfiction #aemond targaryen fanfic #aemond targaryen imagine #modern!aemond targaryen #dad!aemond #hotd aemond

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bahrtofane · 11 months ago

Text

Promises under the stars pt2

Tag list - @leanastarkey

@moonlightbaesstuff

Part 1. READ THIS IS U HAVENT PLEASEEE

Part 1 Jude pov

—-

Jude Bellingham x reader , Carlos Sainz x reader

Word count - 11k+ (I’m sorry. )

Watch it -angst. Talks of pregnancy, divorce. Kinda stalkerish behavior ? This one’s a little all over the place ngl.

Many of you and probably wondering who this man is. Don’t worry you will find out soon ^^

The long await pt 2 my god it’s finally done ENJOYYYYYYY

——————-

Jude is 6. He's clumsy, he's full of wonder. He sits in a field picking at flowers and grass while you sit on your stomach watching the bugs dance. He likes you a whole lot. He thinks you're very nice and his mommy said that you're always welcome. He wonders what will be for lunch. He doesn't know what will come much later

The rage hasn't found him yet. It will. On a cloudy afternoon when he sees you standing hand in hand with a boy you swore to hate. Hot knots form in his stomach when he sees you smile at him. He wants to punch him square in the mouth.

He’s 10. And it's only the start.

It will find him again. When he's much older, floating around through his life. Floating isn't the right word, there's nothing soft about it. When he's being dragged by it. By force. Kicking and screaming as pleads tumble from his lips to just go back to the field one more. This time he’ll pay attention he screams. He promises.

Just one more time. Anything to relive it over again. To make things right with you. To at least own up to what he's done. One chance.

It will never come. He knows and yet he still tries.

On Judes 25th birthday does the rage visit him once more. Almost like an old friend if there was anything friendly about it. This time he’s sitting in his shower, letting the water pelt his skin as he cries. There’s no soft touch of friendship to accompany the lashings.

It's a dull pain, one that starts at his throat while he tries to hold back sobs. His body betrays him, lips cracking as he tries to use his hand to bite back each cry. It spreads down to his chest, heaving breaths trying to take in as much air as he can without swallowing any water.

It proves to be too great, he starts to sputter and cough, getting up and leaning against the walls of his shower. Turning his face from the shower head. He still can't breathe. The tightness in his chest only grows till its the weight of his actions pressed against him.

It moves till his hands are shaking, and his legs are having a hard time keeping him up. He turns the shower head down to only hit his feet, sitting down in the showers built in seat.

Oh how he misses the fields.

—--

You miss the fields.

There are days when you drive by just to feel something if not feel like yourself. No matter how old or far away the self might be. It's still you, isn't it.

You wonder what life would've been without him. No fields in the summer and chasing through grass till you couldn't anymore.

His mother told you once when you were much younger, perhaps kinder, that you were always welcome. She said it as a passing comment while handing you a plate of cookies while Jude was already half way done with his.

Neighbors. You were neighbors. You forgot.

What more will you forget? Bits of pieces of your past that will fizzle away only to be brought out now and again. There will be a time where you won't remember, you know. Perhaps that will be a good thing. Make it easier on everyone that way.

You still miss the past. You miss them. Before everything went the way it is now.

You will miss them some more.

You're set to leave. Moving out of Birmingham on your birthday. You think it's too symbolic, but things just ended up this way.

You spend the night before smoking till you can't see straight. When did you pick the habit up you don't know. You bounce between cigarettes and weed. Whatever's available.

It calms you down, you say to no one in particular, white stick hanging loose from your lips as you look at your bare apartment. Curled up on the floor in a blanket. Your hair is wet. You just showered. You think youll go to sleep with it wet. You're so tired. You don't even stay up till 12 to see the birthday messages pour in.

Pouring in is an exaggeration. You only get a few when you wake up, bright and early. Mainly from family along with the gifts they got you earlier in the week. Your birthday gifts go neatly in a suitcase as you head to your new life in London. You thought about moving out of the country, somewhere far away and perhaps tropical. Nice beaches and clear skies to wander under. But you like your familiarity. And the job offer came just at the right time. So here you are.

Packing the last bit of cake from this morning in tupperware.

Your birthday was rushed this year. You weren't going to do anything till settling into your new place, but your friends insisted on doing something at your home one last time. So at a brisk 9 am your friends fill your apartment for the fastest birthday you've ever had. Cake set on the table, hat placed on your head, candles set ablaze as you make a wish. Eyes closed and begging.

You wish for things with Jude to be as they once were. You wish for him to find his way back to you. You wish to be welcome again. For the fields to kiss the tips of your fingers as you run your hands through the grass. You wish to never forget. You wish for peace. As foolish as that might be.

A click of a camera makes your eyes open. Hugs and kisses as you get passed around. There's people here you don't even recognize but you try not to be too grumpy. They all help out anyway. Cleaning up any last bits of dust and dirt and traces of you from the cream walls.

Once upon a time the same space would have held Jude, celebrating with you and wishing for more years to bless you.

But now it's completely empty, everyones left. And soon you will too.

You've decided to drive the way to London. You packed most things into the small cargo trailer that attaches to your car. The rest lat minute things go in your actual car. Snug as a bug.

Your family stops by for some last goodbyes and birthday wishes, making sure you have what you need, and off you go.

You haven't cried the whole day, not for the weeks leading up to the move. But for some reason the second you pull your car onto the road you're a mess. You dont get more than 15 minutes before you have to pull over and just sob.

Why? You pretend like you don't know. Pretend to lay in oblivious embrace by your own stupidity. But you know, oh how you know.

The same face never seems to stop from tormenting you. You bring your own misery. And you can not stop. Almost entranced by the dance that brings your own demise.

It’s Jude. has been for as long as you can remember now. Seems like it'll remain as such. Even after the whole marriage fiasco. You can not look away, not for a second. Not letting your tormented soul know a moment's rest in favor of knowing his joy. It's hard to move on so you live through twitter updates of his life and the occasional news article. Feeding off of second hand news of a man whose words used to be pressed against your skin till he was all you could feel, see, reach, touch, know.

His warmth has long seeped away from your skin. If you close your eyes just right, you can swear you still feel it.

You wonder if his wife knows this. Funny enough there's enough divorce rumors to actually make you laugh. It brings you the closest thing to ease you can feel nowadays. The possibility of his marriage ending.

You spend your time being chased by the ghosts of your past, by the shadow of Jude you swear you always see from the corner of your eye. The feeling of his hand on your back guiding you through crowds.

His wife, who you find out to be a girl named Kaylie, cannot go a week without arguing with him somewhere public and it is getting plastered all over social media and tabloids. It seems like the media has long since forgotten about you. Which is good you guess.

Has he forgotten about you? Does his memory fail him as well?

Does he keep all your memories somewhere far away from here? Or does he keep them close. Nothing more than an arms length away for him to bring to life once more.

There are days where you grieve for the life you once lived so violently it scares you. Caught up in the past and unable to truly move on.

Other days are better, and you think not of the man who once had your heart.

You hope to have more of those days.

You wipe the tears from your cheeks, freshening up and doing a once over in the rear view mirror. It's time to get going. Not just from your old home, your city, but everything it holds. All it means.

It's time to leave Jude behind the way he did to you.

—--

London is quick and crowded. You find a rhythm against the rain that beats the streets. Find your footing on the pathways. Even if you miss your home, and the familiarity of your old life.

Your new place is much smaller. No large living room. Smaller bathroom. But you love it. It feels much better. Free of your past. Untouched and only known to you.

It takes ages to move in fully, and you don't even have all that much stuff. The trailer proves to be a little bit of a hassle getting into your parking garage but you make it in one piece. The first day you only bring your suitcase full of pjs and essentials. You don't start work for a week. You have time.

In the meantime you explore. Scouting out cafes and grocery stores. You do a little shopping spree by the third day. You get sick of take out, making a few favorite dishes while you people watch from the balcony in your bedroom (you have one in your living room too!).

On the fourth do you actually move in all of your things. It takes multiple trips up and down the elevator from the underground parking garage to your building's lobby and then up to your floor. But you do it. All by yourself.

You get the main things out and sorted, leaving the decor for last. You have an in unit washer and dryer which is really nice. It came fully furnished so there was no need to bring any of your old things with you so you sold them. Couch and table and all. Good riddance.

By the 6th day you're completely moved in. and the place starts looking like yours. You settle in for a movie scrolling through work emails and any last minute things to get done.

You actually did it huh.

—--

Your new workplace is vibrant. So you find colorful hues to pick at, pass your time with. One particular color comes in the form of Carlos. He's red, you decide.

He’s a few years older than you. Lips are usually pressed into a thin line, concentrating on all that's around him. Or on some days you find them to be cracked in an easy smile. He's experienced and been around the block of many things. He's warm and inviting, chatting with anyone with a smile and ease. So different from the Madrid star boy that plagues you.

You come to learn Madrid is Carlos’s home town. How fun. You don’t take it to heart.

He guides you where you stumble or hesitate at the office. Always happy to lend a helping hand. You learn that he's very high up on the pecking order. The kind of high up that doesn't even clock in. But it doesn't stop him from treating you like an old friend.

You're not back to your usual self, not yet at least. And you have a hunch that he picks up on that. When your gaze falls to the floor he doesn't reprimand you. Nor when you tend to space out. He lets you move at your own pace, it's all unbelievably kind. Especially considering you just got here.

He was the one to do your first day orientation actually.

“If you need anything at all feel free to find me, i'm usually in my office down the hall,” he handed you a little welcome basket filled with goodies. Soft smile while he guided you to your desk.

He’s intimidating at first. Tall, large, handsome. It's easy to feel out of place next to him and his fancy tailored suits. His walk that never falters and voice. You like his accent. You told him as much on the first day, you probably shouldn't have. Too much right? He didn't seem to mind all that much. Sheepishly smiling and mumbling a thank you before going back to setting up your email.

You noticed the way he kept picking at his nails the rest of the time.

In truth he’s anything but intimidating. He's kind to you, gentle. Never once making an advance, a comment, a passing glance. Everything is strictly professional.

—--

Your gaze is starting to flicker to Carlos. Uh oh trouble trouble.

You read up on code and triple checked with HR policies. And since he's not your direct supervisor, there's nothing stopping you from pursuing him. He's technically not in the same department as you (took you a month to figure that out). They just placed him here to help out in the meantime. Everyone's short staffed you guess.

You won't be making any moves, romance is the very last thing you need right now. You haven’t even recovered from the last one. Besides you don’t even know how to love anyone else but Jude. He’s the only one you’ve ever known.

You arrent ready to learn how to love someone else. Will never be ready you fear.

All this and it's hard not to get jittery when Carlos walks by. Just look at the man.

He is so sure of everything it seems. Not afraid to speak up but he's not aggressive either. He's found the perfect balance and you can't help but admire it.

The way he smiles at you makes your heart leap to your throat, even if you know the same smile is mirrored to everyone else in the office. You don't really care.

Smile at me again, you want to say, smile just for me.

You think you have a crush.

Oh you're so screwed.

—--

Carlos has found his way over to your desk at the start of each morning. Briskly walking by, poking his head into your cubicle and asking you how you're doing.

He's sweet. Too sweet. It's making getting over him even worse.

“How are you doing today?” he says, greeting you with a smile.

“Good! Just finished all the work I needed to get caught up on.” you turn your monitor to show him.

He hums, “amazing thank you. You can send everything over at once at the end of the day.”

You nod, making a note of it on your sticky notes, covered in little flower doodles you’ve mad to pass the time between meetings and what not. He tries not to smile too hard at this. He thinks you're a perfect addition.

—--

“Oh come on make a move.” your friend groans over the phone.

You roll your eyes, setting your phone down on your desk and tidying things up in your room. It’s bed time and some peace and quiet is the last thing on her mind it seems.

“i’m not gonna do that.” you grumble, playing with the strings on your pjs.

“why, he’s perfect!”

“Remember the last time I said that about a man?”

Silence.

—-—-

It's late when you finally finish up the paperwork for the day. Closing your 30 some tabs and sighing in relief when you sign out of your desktop, clocking out for the day. Your knees hurt and you think you have a cramp somewhere on your calf. Perfect perfect perfect.

There's not a peep in the office anymore. Everyone save for the janitor has gone home. Well everyone but Carlos, who sits in his office typing away and answering the occasional phone call.

You know he's no stranger to staying late but this is the first time it's only been the two of you. In fact, he stayed behind in order to help you out. What a strange reaction your stomach does. He stayed for you. You you you. Hm.

You had refused at first, but he only waved you off, telling you to send the documents his way and that was that. He's been in there since noon, and you are so grateful. Yes you’re new, yes you learn fast but jeez a little help is always appreciated. It came in the form of a very persistent Carlos, who are you to say no.

You gather your belongings and make your way to Carlos's office. Door just open enough for you to see him squinting at his laptop. Chewing his bottom lip and tapping his foot against the tile of the floor now and again. His suit jacket lays on the back of his chair, white dress shirt sleeves rolled up enough to watch his arms flex while he types. You swallow hard.

"Hey, Carlos," you say, your voice breaking the silence of the empty office.

He looks up, offering you smile but you don’t miss the way it falters at the edges. He’s tired. "Hey, heading out?" he asks, his voice soft in the silence that surrounds you. Gruff around the edges from not speaking as much as he’s used too.

"Yeah, just finished up," you reply, a small smile playing on your lips.

He nods, his attention returning to his computer screen for a moment before he stands up, stretching his arms above his head.

“I appreciate you sticking around to help me out," you finally say, breaking the silence.

Carlos shrugs, his smile turning slightly sheepish. "Hey, no problem. We're a team, right?"

You smile back, an odd feeling blooming in your chest. "Right." You begin to slip away from his door frame but his voice stops you.

"Mind if I walk you out?" he offers, gathering up his things.

“Oh I wouldn't want you to go out of your way.” you wave.

“Nonsense,” he shakes his head, “its pitch black out and its dead empty. It's not safe. What kind of supervisor would I be if I didn't?”

You hold back a frown, right. He's your “supervisor”, not much more. You hesitate, looking outside floor to ceiling windows. Covered in the pitch black expanse of night. It does give you the creeps. You haven’t been in the parking garages this late.

“Okay,” you nod. Just loud enough for him to hear.

He cracks a smile, swinging his suit jacket back on and heading out.

He walks at a much more leasuriy pace while you weave your way out of the cubicle and offices that line the hallways. You find yourself falling into an easy conversation with Carlos. He asks about your transition to London, your thoughts on the city so far, the usual small talk.

“Which garage do you park in?” he asks when you reach the elevator.

You lean against the wall,”the C one, 3rd floor.”

He nods, pressing the buttons and humming under his breath.

It scares you, just how fast Carlos has made his way into your life. Made his presence known. As if he's saying look at me, I'm here to stay. But is he truly?

Maybe you really are going crazy. Who knows anymore.

And as you step out into the cool night air, the rain misting softly against your skin, you realize that maybe, just maybe, you're starting to leave Jude behind. Genuinely this time. Oh if you can just stop thinking of him.

Carlos isn't a bad replacement by any means. Some would even call him an upgrade. He's made London seem not so daunting anymore. Ever more so apart as he walks you right up to your car, wishing you a good night with a small nod and smile.

But a part of you simply just can’t move on.

—---

Carlos sits next to you at a work dinner. Fancy restaurant that's all paid for. Something to celebrate the recent great work. How can you say no to free food?

A few others from your department are here, names you don’t bother to repeat. You know a handful of girls at the table have eyes on Carlos, thanks to the printing room gossip.

Especially a very cat like Jessica who’s cubical is right across from yours. According to Janice from accounting, she’s been trying to get with him for ages, and no matter what she does Carlos always turns her down and attention back to work. You had laughed the first time you were told about the infamous coffee fiasco that apparently everyone and their mother has heard.

Janice had told you while you walked out together to your cars. Giggling the whole time.

“Oh you should have seen it. Jessica walks into his office back first holding a coffee and runs into a share holder who’s walking out at the same time. Boom her white blouse gets absolutely drenched. The best part? Carlos didn’t give a damn.” She snickered.

Jessica now sits across from you, tight black dress on and her signature head of burgundy hair shining in the lights that shine above you.

You had expected at least some drama from her, especially when you were told you were invited by Carlos personally. But no. Nothing. Not even when the meal ends and everyone says they good byes.

You take this as your chance to talk to him more privately, to at least thank him for being so kind to you.

So when the chatting dies down and he pulls out the company card from his wallet, you turn to talk to him more. Everyone is getting up out of their seats at this point. Grabbing purses and shuffling for the door. But you stay behind, leaning what's probably far too close into his personal space, and speaking only when you know none of your coworkers are watching.

You lean in closer to Carlos, he smells good, as always. Tailored suit framing him all too well. Your heart is beating a little faster, faster than you'd like. Much too fast to just thank him for being nice for heavens sake. For a moment you think he can hear it through your dress. It's red, though it would match him well.

The servers flash by you but you register nothing but his gaze, the way it flickers to you as you move. Time slows you think, while you try to swallow around the bile that builds in your throat. Speak.

"Carlos," you begin, your voice soft, "I just wanted to thank you for always being there for me. I really appreciate it."

His lips curve into a gentle smile, his eyes meeting yours with warmth. "It's my pleasure," he gives you a small nod, tucking the company card back into his wallet.

Encouraged by his response, you continue, "I... I've been thinking a lot lately about how lucky I am to have you as a colleague. You make everything seem so much easier and I cant thank you enough for how kind you've been to me. Especially joining half way through the quarter. “

As you speak, you notice a subtle shift in Carlos's demeanor, a flicker of something else in his eyes as nods for you to continue.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is..." you pause, your heart racing, “thank you for taking your time with me.” The words come out too fast and jumbled together but they’re out.

His brows furrow so quickly you almost miss it. But they’re replaced with a smile faster than you can blink. His expression softens further, his gaze holding yours. "That's very sweet of you," his voice barely above a whisper.

You wring your hands in your lap, sweating bullets as you hang on to each world that tumbles from his lips.

"Im very glad I could help, and that you think so highly of me. It’s always my goal to help everyone.” He finishes, getting out of his seat and wishing you a good night.

—--

Something shifts after the dinner.

Maybe it’s Jessica who leaves for a neighboring branch in France. Or things slowing down enough for you to pick up new hobbies and think about getting a cat. You’d like a cat. Something to care for, look after. Love.

Or maybe it's the new way that Carlos looks at you.

He’s been…different to say the least. He spends more time at your cubicle than any other. He sends you coffee every morning. He doesn’t even get on you for scrolling through Pinterest when your work is done, as long as its done he does not care. It’s to the point that dear old Janice has picked up on it and even asked you.

”So Carlos huh.” She laughed one day while you were picking up your files.

“Huh?” Like a deer in headlights.

”Oh come on he might as well camp out at your cubical you two are very obvious.”

You blinked. Once. Twice.

”We aren’t together?”

Janice thought you were lying for a solid week before she actually believed you. So yes things have taken a turn. Not good, not at all. You thought thanking him for his kindness would be it for you. A way to confess without actually confessing.

You don’t want anything to do with romance. Not for the next 30 years. You are so so good.

——

You stop responding to the kind words and you feel horrid. So so horrid. You thanked him and now you don't look him in the eye when he does the same things you praised. You shut yourself into a cage refusing to even acknowledge that he exists. Only talking to him when you have to. And even then you’re curt on a good day.

It becomes too much all too much for you to bear being around him for more than a minute.

You can’t do it, you just can’t. It feels so wrong. Like you’re just like Jude if not worse.

You scroll through his instagram on bad days. Unblocking him just to end up crying when you scroll down to that damn post yet again. Just married. You want to comment kill your self but you don’t want to get your account banned.

You click on his story by accident, he's on some island. You hope the plane crashes.

You probably need therapy.

And Carlos, sweet sweet Carlos, never takes your sour mood to heart. You wish he would give up. For your sake. For his sake.

“His” sake. It’s not Carlos.

——-

You aren't even dating. Not seeing each other, not involved. And he never stops trying. Never once is unkind to you.

You know if you’d outright tell him to stop he would in a heart beat. But you don’t, letting him continue the dance alone. People in the office have noticed and started taking a dislike to you. If only they knew the half of it.

You say yes to going out after pictures of Jude and his wife on vacation break out.

“I wont force you if you don’t actually want to.” Carlos sheepishly scratches the back of his neck.

You give him a timid mile, “I want to, trust me.”

Even if the want is only wanting to move on.

“Committed to our marriage.”

You still don't truly hate him.

——

He doesn't know of your history with the man. You don't want him too. Especially considering Carlos is prpbbaly the biggest Real Madrid fan to ever exist. Madrid is his home town for fucks sake. It’s like a big joke is being played on you. You don’t find it funny.

A part of you is just using him as a placeholder. Holding out hope. Hope for what you're not all too sure about.

For a man who abandoned you to come back and make it all better?

Your new lover you feel pity for. You're a lost cause. A stick in the mud. You shy away from the most basic of things. Holding hands, hugs, an arm around your shoulder.

He still doesn't give up on you. You wish he would.

Carlos doesn’t care that you can’t stomach kissing him just yet. He’s happy to wait, to take it step by step.

“I just, I can't Carlos. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. Well take it at your speed. I promise.” A smile.

Carlos is kind to you, even when you're not the same back.

He goes back to his department come winter, and you see much less of him at work. It makes you miss him oddly. No random pop ins and your favorite drink in his hand.

No asking how your days been at lunch. No running into each other when you’re both in the printing room. Giving eachother shy smiles.

Hm.

——

You learn Carlos is a big gift giver. He spoils you. He only wants you to have and experience the best. Always on his arm showing you off. There’s no hiding with him, no forced to duck out of the way in case of cameras. He always pays when you go out, and always a little bag in his car waiting for you.

”Carlos getting me jewelry every time you see me is too much.” You frown. Sliding into the passenger of his rather adorable Volkswagen Golf.

“You don’t like jewelry?” He frowns, sliding his seat belt on.

“No I love it I just feel bad you spend too much on me.” You sigh.

”Please take it from me, it really is nothing. I want to give you even more.” A chuckle fall from his lips.

You learn in the same week that his family owns the damn company. “Why the hell didn't you tell me?’

he shrugs, “it's what I liked so much about you. You didn’t know and it didn’t affect how you saw me, treated me.”

”I feel so stupid Carlos.” You mope.

—-

Life is easy with Carlos. He’s grown on you and you open up. Piece by piece and taking your time. He leaves no room for doubt. Always there to guide you with a hand on your back, pinkies intertwined.

His successes are yours, and yours are his. You cry together. You celebrate together.

At events he brings you on stage with him to bring good news about the company. Toasting with you by his side. The days with him are good to you. And they turn to months.

You meet his family when things get serious. And you try not to let the past influence you too much.

What if they hate you? What if it's a repeat of everything you tried so hard to leave behind? What if his mother refuses to see your face?

He only reassures you with soft kisses and warm smiles. “They’re going to love you. Just be you. “

Just be you.

——-

You take a trip to the countryside of Spain for the weekend. At the cusp of spring, to meet his family. You fly first class, your first time, and knock out for half the time. He holds your hand the entire time, rubbing his thumb along your skin while he tells you more about his childhood. You even learn a few phrases in Spanish, you hope your accent isn’t too awful.

When you get to the winding driveway that gives way to the most picturesque white house on a hill you try not to gasp. It’s gorgeous.

His mother immediately welcomes you with a crushing hug when you step out of the Uber, boasting about how gorgeous you are.

You meet his two sisters, Blanca the oldest, and Anna the youngest.

They greet you with wide smiles, excited to have you. Leading you to the patio of the villa to chat. Carlos insists on taking your bags while you bond with his family. You give him a look while hes half way through the door with both bags in hand.

“Go go i'm sure they want to gossip!” He shouts from the base of the stairs.

You sigh, shaking your head at him with a smile while his sisters take you to the living room.

“We've been dying to meet you!” Anna giggles.

“Carlos never stops talking about you, you know. That already speaks volumes he's a private guy.” Blanca adds.

You give a nod, ”I'm happy to be here. He talks about you guys all the time too, good to put faces to the names.”

“Come we’ll show you around.” Anna gets up.

And you follow. Meeting the dogs and watching Carlos kick around an old golf cart till he gives up and heads back inside.

You meet his father who gives you a tight hug.

“You like golf?” He has a club in hand.

“I never actually played.”

“Carlos you haven't taught her?!” He gives his son a scowl, “Come, I'll teach you.”

So you do. Spending hours in the Spanish sun trying to learn technique.

“She might be better than you Carlos!” his dad laughs when you get the ball right into the hole.

He sits on one of the patio chairs, drink in hand, arms splayed on either side.

“Maybe she'll beat your record.” He hums. Eyes crinkling while he watches you chase down balls that you hit too far.

The afternoon winds down and you find a seat next to him.

“Have fun mi amor?” Pressing a kiss to your hand.

“Golf is actually kinda hard.” You huff.

He laughs,”not too bad though right?”

You shake your head, “no it was fun!”

“That's good. We're going to start the grill up in a few. What are you feeling burgers or kebab?’

You hum, taping your index finger on your chin, “anything you want is fine by me.”

He gets up, giving your head a pat, “kebab it is,” heading over to where the large grill sits against the stone wall.

You head inside to find his mom getting plates out.

“Anything I can help with?”

“Oh no honey you're our guest, go relax.” she waves.

“No please, it's really nothing.”

“Nonsense!”

“I insist you all have been too kind.” you try.

She places a hand on her hip, ”fine fine. You can help me get the table set.”

And you do just that.

You stick around in the kitchen helping Carlos make the actual kebabs. Grinding the meat while you hand it off to him to mix in the spices and assorted greens to the mix.

Next he shapes them using his thumb and first two fingers, squeqwering the meat into each wooden stick and setting them in the fridge in batches.

When the grill is up to temperature, in they go with vegetables and steaks.

You eat surrounded by laughter and warm smiles. Your belly is warm and full, and it's not just the amazing food.

His family shower you in so much love it feels like you’ve known them for ages. Soft smiles and preening at your compliments. His mother says yoy fit right in and his sister are happy to have another girl.

By the end of the night his dad is calling you his daughter.

—--

Jude has a rare few days off. Nothing on his plate, nothing to do. It comes unexpectedly. The fault of bad plannning, mismanagement, something like that. He didn’t listen past when they told him days off. Music to his ears.

Kaylie has been kinder to him, and hes been able to stomach being around her more and more. If not for her for his child.

They might be married but he holds no love for her. Nothing at all. How can he? But that doesn’t mean he cant at least try to put an effort to make things work. The very last thing he wants is for his baby to be stuck between homes or worse yet ages away from him. Not knowing who he really is and fed lies by Kaylie. He knows how she is.

Cunning, sly. Add fur and she’d be a fox.

He picks and chooses his battles and today he chooses peace. Getting some flowers and her favorite take out place on the way home.

He comes home to his house dark and void of any signs of her. The curtains are drawn, the tv off, so is the ac. Hm. No ones home.

He gives Kaylie a call, but it goes to voicemail. She does this often, ignoring him and doing what she wants. He doesn’t really care. She’s most likely out shopping again.

He sighs, setting the bags down on the counter and heading to his-their- room.

At the foot of the bed there’s a grey satchel looking thing. He doesn’t remember seeing that. And he’s not one to snoop but its in his bed, left out among a few clothes. Maybe its the maids and she forgot? Hm.

When he picks it up there’s some weight to it, the draw string come undone as he moves it close and out tumbles a silicone sheet.

Brows furrowed he picks it off the ground, turning it in his hands. It’s realistic, like it was made to mimic human skin. Bumps and ridges along one side while the underside is smooth. It tapers off on either side to make two Velcro ends. There’s a belly button in the middle.

When he realizes what it is, Jude wants to throw up.

The past year flashes in his mind till hes reeling. He cant see, tumbling back into his bed as he clutches the sheets.

The fake silicon baby bump tumbles out of his grasp and onto the floor, flopping like its laughing at him. Mocking him for being so god damn stupid.

The rage he’d tried to hard to ignore, to wipe out from his body rises up like a summer heat. Trapping him in his own body till hes blinded. He throws whatever he can see. Trashing the room. He can barely breathe.

In his own home hes been made an idiot. Under his own roof that he pays for he worked he that he built from the ground up hes been manipulated. His movements slow till he feels like a single cloud after a storm. Aimlessles floating looking for pourpse.

Jude leaves the house in an instant, taking pictures and tucking the item into his back seat. He’s going to his lawyer. Now. He needs a divorce.

——-

Kaylie dismisses every accusation. Calls him a lair, every name under the sun.

He has cameras in his home, a detail she never knew of. He got them installed before he even moved in. They work in his favor as his lawyer brings up the footage. His mother is seen brining bags inside and setting them down onto the table. And out comes a box, and out of the box, the satchel.

His mother bought it for her.

She admits to it when called up. Shrugging like it’s the most natural thing she’s done. A choice as easy as breathing. To fate her son to such misery. To betray.

The divorce happens. Even after it takes weeks. He leaves her.

Why don't you pick up?

——-

Carlos proposes in the same time frame that Jude divorces. While you celebrate with his family you see the news. It’s everywhere, plastered on every site and app and news outlet. Jude Bellingham divorced. A younger part of you feels excistatic. And the current you tastes something sour in your mouth while you read the headlines.

A part of you took Carlos as a placeholder. But you gave up, no more waiting. And now that the wait is over and you are to married? There is nothing left to say, want, need.

It’s so wrong. All so wrong. You have a fiancé.

He’s more than sweet enough. And yet, in every moment spend with him, there’s a humming on the back of more mind filled with fields and stadiums.

You wonder if he thinks the same. If he keeps up with you in any way. You wonder if your engagement has made him feel anything. You hope it has.

A part of you hopes his divorce came as a result of your own news. But who knows.

—--

When you find yourself in Madrid you’re greeted by a family that has become your own. They call you the jewel of the family. Proudly showing you off. It’s hard to think of anything else.

His mother takes you to get your nails done with her while you catch up.

“How is Carlos treating you?”

“Oh he’s lovely. You raised him extraordinarily.” You smile.

She preens, promising to take you on the coast when the weather is warmer. Go out for a swim even. Anything you’d like.

You get matching colors and walk out arms linked and smiling.

——

You learn that Carlos, before you, had given up on love. It was a thing he dreamed of. A thing unable to attain. Something akin to the stars. There to see, not to touch. Never to have or to know fully.

He had whispered it to you in the darkness of his room after a homemade dinner. The best pasta you’ve ever had. The compliments made him blush and get all jittery. It’s adorable.

“I just never thought I would be able to have this.” He breathed out.

You gave him a firm kiss, cupping your hands to his cheeks. “I’m the one who should be saying that. You’re amazing Carlos. You amaze me everyday. I’m so lucky to have you. To love you.”

A beat of silence. Sniffles. “I adore you.” He mumbles out while he tucks his head into the crook of your neck. Gentle hands combing through his hair.

That hes had his fair share of flings and unserious girls around him. Only about two he’s actually brought around his family. On whim and a half baked thought turned to full trip. And those ended in a dumpster fire apparently.

“It was so out of no where he never talked about her and then he calls saying hes brining this girl over.” Anna waves her fork in hand.

Today they’ve come to visit London and you’re out for dinner just the three of you. Carlos is working late and he insisted you go meet them at the resurant.

“Send me pics!’ Was his only request while you gave him a kiss at the door.

“Oh she asked for a promotion almost 20 minutes in.” Blanca rolls her eyes.

Anna nods, “i don’t remember her name but I remember her horrid sneer. Like she was part shark or something. Creepy. I think Carlos was just trying to prove that he could love since both of us are already married.”

Prove that he could love.

But he loves so easy it’s hard to wrap you mind around. Someone so lovely and sweet having trouble. Your heart aches for him. Both of you have had shit luck previously huh.

——

The middle of summer you get introduced to the annual family reunion dinner of sorts.

“It’s nothing crazy dont worry. Just grilling and more Sainz at the house.” He assures you.

So you pack up again and head to Spain. He always gives you the window seat. Puts all the carryons into the over head bins for the both of you.

It’s nice, being able to turn your brain off for once.

The dinner is a whole affair you come to learn. You’re in the kitchen prepping with everyone while both Carlos senior and junior get to setting up more tables on the patio.

The theme is white this year. You brought two white dresses just in case.

The chaos soon dissolves into a steady rhythm as the prep comes to a close and you wait for guests to start arriving. You get changed in one of the spare rooms they’ve given you each time you come. Stepping down the stairs to a crowd.

His family is very very big. Huge even. All pouring in the property in fancy cars and watches on their wrists that cost more than your yearly rent. Yikes.

You shrink on yourself, sticking to the kitchen and absentmindedly rearranging plates and taking a seat at the dinning tables as you watch the greetings from the windows.

His mother spots you. In a gorgeous sleek jumpsuit and white shawl to match.

“Oh you look lovely.” She beams.

When you don’t return the ethusiam she frowns. “What’s wrong my dear?”

You look away bashfully. “Nothing at all.” Forcing a smile.

She takes a seat next to you, taking your hands in hers. “Nonsense. You can talk to me. I promise you’re a daughter to me.”

You sigh, turning to face her. “You’re whole family is so lovely. So grand. I feel like I'm not enough or I don't belong sometimes.” You admit, wringing your hands in your lap.

Her brows furrow, “you’re a part of the family my love. My Carlos loves you, so do the rest of us. That alone means you belong. Not to mention what a gem you are. You’re an exceptional woman with both your character and achievements. Don’t sell yourself short.” A hand squeezes your shoulder and you look at her with so much appreciation you might cry.

“Thank you so much Ms Sainz, really. You’ve welcomed me so sweetly. I'm so honored. “

She rises out of her seat, taking your hand in hers as she guides you to the door. “Come now, we’ll walk out together. Don’t worry i wont leave you till you say so. “

You give her another great full smile, taking a fabric of your dress in one hand and head out to greet the rest of your family.

——-

You sit nestled next to Carlos and his mother. At the end of the table while the maids handle plating and serving the food. You’re emmesnly greatful there is no grilling to be done on your end in the white dress that trails on the floor.

Carlos gives you a smile among the chatter that surrounds the two of you. His mother rises, and in an instant all eyes are on her. You hope one day you can command half as much attention as she does.

She says most of her words in Spanish, a few you catch onto (Carlos has been teaching you here and there. Giggling at your accent but you’re getting there!)

She raises her glass and the last part comes out in English. “We thank everyone for coming. You all are welcome here, as our guests and as a part of the family.” Sending you a smile at the last bit. You can't help giving her a wide smile in return. Reaching your eyes and so big it hurts your cheeks but you don't care. You’re so happy to be here.

Carlos gives your hand a squeeze under the table, eyes crinkling into. Familar smile.

Something clicks for a moment.

You let nostalgia and familiarity cloud your judgment and hold on to a man with no real sense of direction in his life. Pushing away Carlos. Sweet sweet Carlos who only wanted to love.

——-

You mention your apartment being stuffy and within the week there are an unfamiliar set of keys sitting on your living room coffee table. A red string tied into a bow on them is the only thing that accompanies them.

You know exactly who it’s from.

You call him and he picks up immediately. “Hey baby.” There’s a curl to his voice. He’s smiling.

“Carlos. What’s with the keys?

He hums, “they’re for you.”

“What?”

”You know if you ever get tired of your place. You have a house now. If you want it under your name let me know I’ll send the papers over.” Said with the most casual tone in the world. Like he dropped off flowers instead of keys to a house.

“I’m not following.” Thumbing the keys in your hand.

“I bought you a house. If you dont like it- “

”I love you.” You blurt.

He giggles on the other end. “I love you too.”

He helps you get moved in on the weekend while you hold back tears the whole time.

——-

You go out to dinner for your birthday. Fancy restaurant on a rooftop. He brings a camera and takes so many pictures you worry he’ll have no more storage after this.

Both of you are matching red. You in a floor length dress and him in a suit with red detailing at the seams. Just enough to catch the light. Just enough to make it obvious that you two are a pair. It’s cute.

You eat in comfortable silence while the sun sets. Many kisses shared.

“How does dessert sound?” He wiggles his eyebrows.

“Sounds lovely. Where are you thinking?”

”Little ice scream shop down the road? The one with all the toppings you like.”

You smile, “yes please.”

You figure there’s no need to get to the valet so instead you get on electric scooters, laughing while you ride down the side walks through the night.

You know you probably look immensely silly. In fancy dress zooming past pedestrians while you can't stop laughing but you don't really care. You’re happy. You’re so happy.

——

You marry Carlos in his family home under the Spanish sun no more than 2 years later. Your family is ecstatic, his mother can't stop crying from joy.

“You’re the greatest thing to happen to my Carlos.” She weeps while bringing a hand to your cheek.

It makes you cry till the makeup artist has to come in and make everything right again.

You walk down the isle and it feels like a dream. Carlos cries while watching you walk to him. His lip wobbles during the vows and you barely hold it together long enough to kiss him.

You’ve grown to not just love him. You adore him.

The years Carlos has given you have been filled with only bliss. His family frequent your home for dinner when they’re in London. And you even got the cat after all. Carlos has warmed up to her. A little black fur you named Luna. Very original but you love her.

She’s at the wedding. In a tiny white collar with a white boy sitting in his mothers lap purring.

The family dogs are in similar spots. The wedding is in the back portion of the property, he built more of the porch walkway to make room for guests and seats.

Your first dance is so soft and sweet you feel like you’re in a dream. Or when cotton candy touch’s water, melting into glittery threads of sugar.

The night it filled with so much love. You forget about all your troubles. It was worth it you think. Worth it to end up here.

——-

Carlos is a baker. He bakes you blueberry muffins to take in to work every morning and always has hot pancakes or breakfast. A good pancake never needs syrup, he says. And his never do.

He tries new berries and flavors with each season and gives you a kiss when he drops you off at your cubicle.

Janice was right after all huh.

——-

When you’re in Spain or his family in London you go touring the sights with his sisters when you can. Going cafe hunting and bringing home treats for a very giddy and hands Carlos at the end of the day.

“What’d you get up to today?” He mumbles in between kisses.

“Your sisters brought out baby photos.” You giggle. “You were a cute baby!”

He snorts, “I was well behaved.”

You give him a look, handing him a small box filled with pastries, “not according to Blanca you weren’t.”

He shrugs, icing already on his nose that you happily kiss off.

——-

On your next birthday you take a quiet night in and a homemade dinner full of all your favorites at his home. He wears a stupid kiss the chef apron and makes him pose for pictures. You send them to his sisters (you have a groupchat of the three of you)!

You watch him work his magic, cooking in fluid motions and when its time to eat you almost melt.

“I think this is your best ever,” you mumble in between spoonfulls.

He giggles, kissing the apples of your cheek taking a seat opposite from you. “I’m glad love. Happy birthday.”

There’s a small box on the table that you haven’t noticed yet. Too small and rectangular for a ring. It's only when you clean up do you notice.

“What’s this?” Gently picking up the box in your hands.

He stands at the sink washing the dishes in a way to avoid your gaze. He’s shy. ”My gift to you.”

You open the box and out tumbles another pair of keys. “You and keys.” You grumble, but with no real venom.

“Carlos are these car keys.” You hiss.

He hums a tune under his breath in favor of answering you.

“Oh my god.” You whisper, feeling the ridges and creases. You recognize the logo. You’ve mentioned it on a whim here and there. Or that one time you saw it parked at a restaurant and you took a picture.

Leave it to Carlos to never miss anything. He’s giving you a damn Porsche for your birthday.

You set the key down on the coffee table. You help finish up the dishes kicking him out while he pouts about it being your birthday and he should be doing this for you not the other way around. A kiss and a promise gets him out and to the living room.

When you’re all done he leads you to his garage. Where a Porsche in your favorite color stands. Gift wrapped with a red bow and your name on the fender.

How did you end up living a life like this?

———

Jude finds you after years of digging. It takes just ages and he blows through so much money but he finds you, in London living in a house bigger than his own in Madrid and cozying up to a man he's never seen before.

He’s long cut off contact with his mother and the rest of his family. His brother he sees from time to time. His dad only briefly. Still no apology from him. He’s rather die than see his mother again and she knows that. She stopped sending Christmas cards ages ago.

He has business to finish. One that’s ages old and begins before he could understand the world around him. Begins with you, and it seems to always end with you. Call it fate or some cruel joke being played on him. Jude never got over you. Never has never will. You’re all the love hes ever known. Learning you got married almost sent him down an alcoholic rampage. But he had a ballon dore to set his eyes on (and he won, did you see?)

His source of information (a mutual friend) lets him know the man is named Carlos, comes from old money. The type that has houses on every content and still doesn't know what to do with it all. Too much to spend and not enough time to do it all.

That's fine whatever, he can do one better.

He shows up at your doorstep at the cusp of spring. There’s something poetic there, spring bringing new beginnings and all. Maybe there is a beginning to be made from the buried buds of yesterday's winter. He tells himself to not get his hopes up to high but the mere thought of seeing you again makes his skin tingle.

So up he goes. Don’t ask how he got passed the gate, a secret he will never tell. Chill still in the air and wrapped in a coat and scarf up to his nose. He tries not to gag at the matching porches that are parked outside.

He silently prays that it's you who will open the door.

Jude is nearing 30 now and he fears he may not have much more time left to chase you across the country.

A few rings of the doorbell is all the warning you get until you come face to face with the man who you've been so desperately trying to escape for years.

“Jude.” He melts at the sound of your name from his lips. Just as sweet as he dreams. The years have been kind to you. You look just as remembered. Just as full of life, of wonder. Just a tad bit wiser perhaps.

He nods, stepping forward. You back up, closing the door half way and hiding behind it.

“I'm sorry,” he begins, fists clenching at his side, “I'm sorry for every single second I left you alone. I was a coward. I was- fuck I was stupid and it cost me you. I rehearsed this a million times and I can't even find the words to say to you.“

“Jude. I'm married. There is no sorry. What's done is done.”

His face pales, “No please you can't just-”

“Can't just what, leave? Like you did? How did you think it felt when I heard of your wedding through instagram Jude please let me know. Because it wasn't jumping for joy. Or when you would ignore me for days till it became months.”

“I was young and stupid I didn’t mean-”

“No!” you shout, hands gripping the door knob. “You don't get to barge into my life whenever you feel like it. I'm married. I love him and he actually gives a damn about me, go figure. “

“You have to hear me out.” he pleads.

“No I fucking dont Jude!” you cry.

Footsteps pad up behind you, door opening further to reveal Carlos who puts a protective hand on your waist.

“Why are you making my wife upset? Can I help you mate?” His eyes do a once over Jude, unimpressed. Madrid super fan or not you come first.

“Mate?” Jude scofs. Seriously this is the guy you replace me with, what a joke.”

Carlos presses his lips into a thin line,”get off of my property.”

“Yeah right or is it all your dads. Damn trust fund baby. I hope you enjoy the money. Fucking nepo baby.” Jude points a finger at him.

You sigh, “Jude you need to leave, now, or i'll call the police and you get to escorted off the property by them and the whole world gets to watch your image crumble. “

He walks off of the front steps at this, head hung low and taking one last look at the two of you. Sneering at Carlos before he stops away.

Carlos looks at you, frowning. You have a lot of explaining to do don't you.

—--

“Jude, Jude Bellingham at my door. What was that about my love?” He gets a glass of water, taking a sip.

You sigh, sitting back on the couch.

“Carlos… where do I even begin.” Rubbing your eyes aggressively.

“Wherever you want,” he shrugs, leaning on the kitchen counter.

“Jude and I were once neighbors, friends, lovers. Everything. I loved him so much that I didn't even care that he would ignore me for months till once day poof! He announces he got married on instagram of all places while I was a wreck so I moved out of our hometown. Came here. Meet you. Rest is history.”

”Why is he back?”

you shrug. “Hell if I know. Last I knew he got divorced won the ballon dor. I haven’t talked to him since he left me.”

Carlos nods, setting the cup down and joining you on the couch. “If you want a restraining order we can do that?”

You shake your head, “I dont want to make it bigger than it needs to be. If he keeps trying we can talk about it.”

”Okay.” Pressing his lips to your forehead. “Mom wanted to get brunch with you but you can cancel after all that.”

You sit up. “No no! I’d never miss brunch with her i’ll start getting ready.”

Carlos smile at you, padding back upstairs to your bed room to get ready for work.

——-

The next family vacation is in Italy. Partly due to the champions league and partly because its his mothers turn to choose. You happily agree tagging along and seeing the family jet for the first time. (They have a jet???) you still have some getting used to do with the way they live their life.

It’s a welcome distraction to the shit show that was at your door.

You do some sightseeing and have brunch all together accompanied by his sisters husbands as well. Both kind men who would do anything for both sisters. It’s sweet, to have a family full of so much love.

You split up after brunch and Carlos wants to do some sightseeing and you of course go.

You end up walking round Milan for hours till you get hungry and spot a little hole in the wall, street food stand that Carlos can not wait to try.

You get in line and brush your fingers against the buckles of Carlos jeans while you wait. He pouts saying something about how it should be the other way around followed by more quips that make you laugh loud and bright.

There’s a figure that you dont see, standing on the opposite side of the town square that recognizes your laugh from a mile away.

Jude is here, of course he is. But its not to sight see. To compete. He left his hotel with a mask do get some fresh air before all his physicals and here the universe has brought you to him once again.

You dont see him, of course you dont. His gut twists while he watches you laugh in ways he never did him him. He feels like a creep, watching you and your husband laugh into each other with matching smiles. Like hes doing something he shouldn’t, watching something he shouldn’t. But he cant bring himself to look away.

Not when you place your order or when Carlos feeds you some of his portion. Nor while you giggle when some gets on your nose and he wipes it off for you.

He waits for some sort of reaction to the public. Braces for judgment but nothing comes. It’s here that he’s reminded how different his life and yours is.

Everything you couldn’t do with him you now freely do in the streets with your husband. The word makes him sick. Husband. It should be him there not that corporate sell out.

Jude tears his eyes away when he gets a text from a teammate. 20 mins till he has to check in. He should leave. He’s seen enough.

——-

Rumors behind to float around Carlos. Wicked and dangerous. They come out of no where and they span from everything and anything under the sun.

You no longer get work at the same firm. You both agreed that Carlos was more than okay to support the two of you. And you liked the idea of being a stay at home wife, mom, etc.

But the rumor begin to draw you into the mix. That you married him for money. That you not got the job because you were fucking him.

That Carlos only got his position due to his father and so forth.

His reputation is on the rocks and a careful set of eyes from afar watches how you repond.

Leave him, come back to me. He wants to say

You dont do any of this. If anything you become more attached to your husband. Unwavering and refusing to leave for a moment.

——

Jude finds you once more in a coffee shop. Setting down a cup next to you while he hovers over your seat. It’s the same drink his mother used to force you to order near the end. You don’t acknowledge it even if it’s the only one he knows you to drink.

It’s the cusp of full now. Months after his first intrusion. You watch as eyes crowd him till there’s a circle of people around you with phones out. You feel sick for more reasons than one.

“Jude.” You warn.

He sits down. Ignoring the eyes. He’s desperate now. And frankly he doesn’t care about the backlash at this point. He only cares about one thing. You.

”im sorry i just cant watch you live you life with him and ignore what we had.”

“Jude-“

”Just please listen to me that’s all I ask of you.”

“You have nothing i want to hear.” Crossing your arms.

He starts to cause a scene. Voice rising and drawing even more attention if that’s even possible.

You agree, 3 minutes. That’s all he has.

He breathes a sigh of relief. He starts off by saying “hazelnut coffee right? your favorite”

It’s not your favorite, it was the only drink his mom ordered for you because it was supposed to keep you from bloatingit’s not your favorite, it was the only drink his mom ordered for you because it was supposed to keep you from bloating.

You stare at his face reminding yourself that he really doesn’t know you at all. When you don’t answer he picks at his hands. Finding the right words

“She’s gone and everything is right now. we can be together again just like we promised it’ll be us agaisnt the world. just me and you. I always loved you.”

“you’re late jude. I’m married. I can’t leave my life behind for you.” Crossing your arms over yourself.

“Why not?”

Your eye twitches. “When you had the opportunity to actually give a damn you didn’t. You didn’t fight. Hell you didn’t even speak and left me in the dust for some no name you stuck your shit in one night and got off too. And now what i’m supposed to go running back?”

“So what now? you want to be with him? He isn’t even someone worthy of you.”

“And you are Jude??”

“he left you here at a cafe alone easy to find.”

Your patience is wearing thin.

“I know we have history. And I know our childhood together was sweet. But the past can not keep you tethered and making decisions based on it. You can’t keep chasing things that no longer exist Jude. I’m no longer yours and I haven’t been for a while now. “

“What do you mean it doesn’t exist” he desperately tries to grab your hand.

But Carlos walks in. Putting a hand on your shoulder and staring Jude down. Almost as if saying go ahead, try it again. “I’d appreciate it if you backed up and away from my wife mate. I wont ask you again.”

he helps you get up, putting your hand over his. When you stand does Jude notice a baby bump.

It’s this moment that Jude realizes that hes lost you, completely and wholly. There is no redos. His own cowardice lead to this. And now he watches the woman he loves walk hand in hand with another.

———

CHOSE YOUR ENDING

JUDE. CARLOS.

#jude bellingham one shot #jude x reader #jude x you #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham x you #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham headcanons #jude bellingham x y/n #jude bellingham fic #jude bellingham fanfic #carlos sainz x reader #bahr footy #carlos sainz x you #carlos sainz x y/n #carlos sainz x female reader #footballer fic #jude bellingham fluff #jude bellingham angst #PUTS Bahr

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dreaisgrayte · 10 months ago

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I JUST BINGE READ ALL OF YOUR WORKS. YOU HAVE ME SCREAMING AND CRYING. The amount of detail that you put into them is MWAH the freakin chefs kiss 😘 you have been promoted to my #1, please never stop what you're doing ❤️❤️❤️

on another note, would you mind if I requested a scenario with Gojo? Maybe something about fem!y/n being from a high ranking rival clan, who the Gojo clan has despised for their entire existence. Maybe y/n has always had a crush on satoru ever since they first saw each other as kids, but since they were raised to hate each other it never went any further than a small lil crush. but now they're adults and both powerful sorcerers, her feelings kind of just pop back up out of nowhere and satoru finds it amusing how even after all this time and the things that their clans told them about each other that she would still have her little puppy crush on him. Maybe it could be like a she fell first and he fell harder scenario? i'm a slut for those oh my gosh

thank you so much!!!!

That's so so so sweet of you! Honestly, got me giggling and kicking my feet. Careful, I will propose, istg. This... turned into a monster while writing it. I came up with a silly little plan and a silly little idea to incorporate into your request and then this monstrosity was born. If I wasn't told to stop... I might've never stopped writing on this. I L O V E D this idea. Friends to lovers/1 fell first then the other fell harder I EAT UP EVERY TIME. So, here's what my whore brain wrote <3 love you and I hope you enjoy!

warnings: NSFW, MDNI, Gojo harasses the women he's actually into (he forgets how to flirt so just ends up bullying them), teasing, flirting, kissing, cowgirl, missionary, raw sex, a lot of touching, feelings...so many feelings

word count: 6.1k

The Crave | Satoru Gojo x fem!reader

“Are you sure they’ll be there? I don’t want their son to look at our precious daughter.” Your mother holds you closely to her legs, clicking her tongue in annoyance when the maid nods her head. “Unbelievable. You hear that? Do they think they can parade that freak of nature around Japan? Well, they’ll have to see our daughter as well. She’s got the normal amount of eyes and isn’t staring at everyone with those ugly blue ones.” Her tone is harsh and for a six-year-old you, it’s hard to understand why she’s so angry. You also doubted that the young boy had six eyes.

Your father walks into the room, straightening his tie with a stern look on his features. “As long as they keep him away from her, everything will be fine.”

But as you were brought into the party, still close to your mother – you saw nothing but a boy with snow white hair and brilliant blue eyes. Sure the way he glared at you was slightly off-putting, but he was just a boy. He was alone in the room, but everyone seemed to be talking about him. Even your mother shamed him behind a gloved hand.

Your heart aches. What did he do that warranted such disgust for simply being alive? The Gojo clan and your clan had been at odds since the very conception of both. They bred powerful sorcerors for fame, gain, and wealth. He was yet another product of selfish desire, born into a role and body he didn’t ask for. His life ahead would be filled with always the underline of being strong. Somehow; being uniquely gifted gave him the responsibility to be used like a tool. You knew your fate wasn’t far behind his.

Though, his eyes sparkled like he knew some deeply funny thing about the world. That – even though his destiny was surely to be used up by his clan – there were still things to be enjoyed in the world. It made your…stomach hurt. Both a swirling breeze of cool and a stifling wave of heat. Boiled and frozen, pumping whatever this feeling was straight into your tiny brain.

That was the first time you ever saw Satoru Gojo, and you’d soon come to realize around the age of 10 that you had developed an infatuation with him. Children surrounded you, chattering about how you and Satoru were going to get married when you were older. Of course, you blushed and stayed quiet – which in hindsight wasn’t the best idea since the gaggle of children went screaming at Satoru about how you wanted to marry him. A less-than-ideal situation because those sapphire eyes tracked you down amongst the crowd and 10-year-old Satoru smirked. You were utterly done for.

Thinking back on the encounters you’d had with Satoru Gojo, you were glad your family hated him. It gave you an excuse to hide behind that fact because still – in your 20s – his face would appear in the back of your mind. You’d heard things about the miraculous powerful sorcerer he’d become from your boss at the special unit for special grade sorcerors. Your mother called you about 30 times just today to remind you Satoru wasn’t the strongest, you were. The Gojo clan was sneaky, they didn’t care about anyone else except for their gain. Your parents had raised you to be wary of anything the Gojo clan did, one misstep, and suddenly you’d be shipped off to the States.

It was a mix inside your stomach. The Gojos were not to be trusted and you most definitely were not allowed to interact with their heir. So when your boss comes waltzing up to you with a wide smile on her face, you know that rule is about to be broken. “YN, I’ve been looking for you everywhere,” Her laugh comes off rushed. Your boss knew about the tensions between the rivaling clans, working with special grade sorcerors required her to do so. Then why? Why the hell did she pass over a report with that stupid fucker’s face on it? “There’s a powerful curse roaming around Shibuya that needs the attention of,” she pauses, scrunching her face in thought.

You sigh, the annoyance in your body pooling in your joints. “Two extremely powerful sorcerors?” You offer, the fakest smile known to mankind presenting itself on your lips.

Nevertheless, she lights up and hits her fist on the flat of her palm. “Exactly! See, this is why we have you on the team!” She exclaims with a little too much vigor for your taste.

You watch her for a moment, noticing the way her long blue hair bounces around – almost like they were cheering you on as well. “Right…” You drag out the word, glancing at the file folder in your hand. “Why can’t Gojo handle it by himself then?” Her excitement seemingly drains from her face. You take note immediately. “Boss, how powerful is this damn thing?”

༘⋆✿

Meanwhile, Satoru had the same look on his face – annoyance. He understood having two special graders go on this mission would ultimately be the best option, but you? What sort of sick play of the fates was this? You were always so, he groans running a hand down his face, perfect. Your reputation, your battle tactics, hell even your coworkers thought you were the best. That’s insane. What kind of person even has all of their coworkers think the best of them?

He tosses your folder to the side of his desk, wanting to bang his forehead on the surface of the hardwood just to make sure he is seeing things clearly. The higher-ups were always comparing him to you, making sure he never fell behind in anything. Your clan was just a bunch of prissy stuck-up snobs… but then again… so was his.

It’s useless, he was stuck going on this mission with you because no matter how powerful he was, he would never have power over himself. He reaches for your folder again, flipping it open. Along with the neverending list of your accolades and magnificent achievements, was a picture of you paperclipped to the stack of paper. A few beats of silence pass as Satoru stares at your face.

After a few more minutes he grunts and shuts the folder again. He focuses on pulling the black cloth back over his eyes. The curse would be a piece of cake, especially with both of you on the mission. That’s not what he was worried about per se. The tricky part was how unbelievably pretty you had gotten to be and how there was a growing ache in the pit of his stomach. Fuck, this was going to be a shitshow. Then again, he couldn’t help but wonder – with a growing smirk on his face – if you still had that puppy dog crush on him.

༘⋆✿

“Yes, right this way ma’am.” A blonde man guides you toward Satoru’s office. He’s in an interesting outfit, not the usual sorcerer apparel. His tie is black and white forming an interesting pattern. His calm blue dress shirt is tucked into a pair of beige slacks. He’s very handsome and also looks very tired. Probably from dealing with all of Satoru’s bullshit if you had to guess.

He stops in front of a door and you almost don’t catch how his body deflates quickly with a tiny sigh before he’s back to normal. “Before I go in, please just call me YN.” Your body moves on its own, planting a hand on his rather muscular shoulder.

He attempts a smile, but it falters almost as soon as the corners of his mouth reach their peak. “Call me Nanami, Nanami Kento.” He extends a hand and you gratefully shake it. He seems nice. Then, he opens the door and leaning up against a desk is none other than Satoru.

Satoru is in uniform and you’ll be damned, he looks too good in it. How can someone that lanky pull off a baggy uniform? His fluffy white hair spikes out in a messy ‘I woke up looking this good’ way. Your heart – against every inch of your being, is thumping wildly in your chest. You should’ve double-checked his file to conclude he doesn’t have six ears. What if he can hear how erratic your pulse is? His azure gaze is locked in on the man beside you. “Thank you, Nanami,” Satoru smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. You hear a grunt beside you and then Nanami starts walking down the hall. You watch him leave, wishing he could’ve stayed longer. You hear a loud cough from inside the room. Furrowing your brows you turn your gaze to Satoru, who looks irritated. “I thought you came to spend time with me YN, yet here you are not even paying any attention to me.” He complains, standing up.

You press your lips into a thin line. “We’re not here for a playdate, we have business to do.” You reply with a lash of venom in your cool tone. Satoru glances off to the side with an airy laugh and smirk. What was he laughing about? You were growing more frustrated with every second.

“Mmm, playdates remind me of when we were children.” He’s still looking off to the side like he’s watching a memory play out that only he can see. His gaze is back to you in an instant. “You had a crush on me, remember?” He cocks his head to the side, a teasing grin taking over his stupidly handsome face.

Your body cools with a mixture of embarrassment and annoyance. Oh, so he wanted to bring up the past? You put on your best ‘fuck around a find out’ smile. “Yeah, but that was before puberty hit and I had standards.” You answer the tone of your voice higher and sweeter than before. Satoru raises his brows as an amused expression takes over his face. “Shall we get to business now?” You snap, which only makes him burst out laughing.

Satoru is walking toward you now and the alarm bells in your head start flashing. “Hey, before that I have a question I’ve been dying to know.” He leans down, planting a hand on the wall next to your head to be level with you. You stiffen, growing uncomfortable. Not with Satoru being this close, but with how much your body seems to enjoy it.

Your brows knit together and a frown tugs your face downward. “What?” You fume, jerking your head to emphasize the word. Satoru observes you, that feeling in his stomach clawing its way up. His gaze falls to your lips for the slightest of seconds.

He swallows, the vexing emotion wanted to be near you, beside you, touching you, in you. How troublesome. The only way for Satoru to get rid of this feeling was to somehow annoy you to the extent you never came around him again. Granted – you didn’t anyway, but this exception had nearly driven him to the edge already. “When you were little, did you ever create an illusion of me? Did you hold his hand? Practice kissing him?” Satoru inquires, feeling full of himself. Your whole face drops. You must be in a different world because he did not just ask you that. A garbled scoff sounds from your throat as you gape at him, utterly dumbfounded.

You try to process what the hell is going on by opening and closing your mouth, raising your hands then dropping them again, and blinking rapidly. “Oh my God,” are the first words that you say. They’re also the next few thousand words you say considering how many times you repeat the phrase.

By this time Satoru has dropped his arm, regarding you with a rueful grin. He’s backed away a few paces and you finally point a finger at him. “You are disgusting. You mean nothing to me. You’re such an annoying,” You’re panting, anger rolling through you in cold and hot waves. “An annoying.”

“What YN? An annoying what?” Your eyes are going to bulge out of your head. He’s smirking again! Smirking!

“An annoying fuckface!” You scream, throwing your hands out in pure frustration. You groan exasperatedly before storming out of his office.

༘⋆✿

Had you really called him a fuckface? What did that even mean? Satoru is staring at the ceiling of his city-rise apartment, unbelievably shell-shocked from the events earlier today. He flips over on his side. It hadn’t gone exactly like he planned, although he didn’t put much planning into the whole thing. Tomorrow morning you’d both meet up at Shibuya station to track down the cursed spirit. He should probably apologize for acting like an idiot…he groans and flips back onto his back.

Morning comes like a weight of bricks. You’re both standing awkwardly in the station. The people passing by must sense something because none of them even look your way. Satoru points to the stairs leading to the street level. “Uh, we could always patrol the rooftops…” He’s being so awkward. It was honestly a hit to his ego. Usually, the ladies ate up his tease em’ and leave em’ tactic. As he stares at you a blood-curdling scream echoes from the street above. Dust shakes off of the parts of the station as a loud explosion shakes the ground.

You glance at Satoru and he nods his head, a knowing smile creeping up his face. Finally, some fighting to get his mind off of whatever asshole thing he’d manage to say to you next. As you both reach the street ahead you’re met with chaos. Cars are being flung by a large lizard entity, but it has eyes everywhere on its body. Satoru is about to gauge an attack but you burst out laughing next to him. His footing stutters, eyes widening as he takes in your genuine laugh. It’s… kind of majestic. You hug your stomach, doubling over in laughter as you extend your hand to point at the cursed spirit. “Looks like,” you snort out a giggle, “Looks like you have some competition for having the most eyes.”

Gojo is immediately taken aback by your words. A woman runs screaming past you as you wipe a tear away from your eye. “Now let me show you a thing or two.” You sprint toward where rubble and wreckage cause obstacles. You make light work of climbing atop a sizeable pile of rebar and pavement. “Hey, lizard breath! Over here!” Jumping up and down, you wave your arms in the air. Did Satoru have to do anything? You seem to know what to do.

He watches you with a small chuckle as the monstrosity turns its bulbous eyes toward you. In the blink of its mucusy eyes, your image doubles. Thousands of you spread across the street, then start attacking the main body. Satoru grins, jumping in to join. “Think you could have all the fun without me?!” He yells toward you.

You’re surprised he could easily see which one of you was the real one. Though, you guess that’s what all those eyes were for. You were working off of one another – working with each other. If your clans could see you now. You’re both laughing and fighting like taking a walk in the park. Surprisingly Satoru can’t keep his eyes off you. He wasn’t sure if it was because he wanted to protect you or simply because as you fought alongside him you proved you didn’t need his protection. When you were with him you didn’t rely on him. No, you could handle yourself, which made Satoru crave your attention. He was the strongest…but with you by his side, his strength would finally be supported rather than taken for granted.

It doesn’t take long to deal with the cursed spirit and for once Satoru is glad you’re required to come back as a team to fill out paperwork. That way he could get a little extra time with you. He smirks to himself as you finish up in Shibuya.

He likes the look of you in his office, sitting on the couch in the corner with a small table in front of you. A laptop, a stack of papers, and a cup of tea are all somehow set on top of the small space. Your hair is falling in front of your face as you crouch over to type away the report. He was supposed to be working too, but he’d be damned if he broke his gaze now. “You ever going to stop looking at me and actually fill out some of those files Mr. Gojo?” You hum, still concentrating on the screen in front of you. Of course, you’d figure out he was gawking, it’s not like he was hiding it.

Satoru clears his throat and glances away. “You can call me Satoru,” He pouts. When was the last time Satoru had requested a woman call him by his given name? Out of everyone else’s mouth, it was a simple endearment, but out of yours? That was something else entirely.

You sigh, pausing in your efforts to finish the paperwork before dawn. You roll your lips into your mouth and tap your chin. “I think I much prefer fuckface.” You say, then smile sweetly.

Satoru nods his head, pushing out of his seat. “Yeah? You want to call me fuckface or you want to fuck my face?” He banters. Your body tenses as you watch him sit on the edge of his desk. There's a pressure building in between your thighs that you can’t ignore. Your body feels like there are phantom touches caressing all of the places you yearned for Satoru to touch.

You huff and turn away from him. “Back to this? Where’s your dignity, your charm, your manhood?” You ask. You jerk to the side, shaking your head. “No wait- that’s not exactly what I mean to say please don’t-”

Satoru is already laughing. “My manhood? Damn, you really must be thinking up all sorts of illusions in there, but,” he crosses the room, stopping in front of your table. He pushes the laptop shut with his fingertips. “The real thing is always going to be better darlin’.”

It suddenly seems very hard to swallow, so you let out an awkward laugh before gathering up your things. “Right, sure, I have to go.” You stumble over your words, rushing for the door. If you didn’t get out of this room right now you were sure bad things would happen. By bad things, you meant letting your guard down for a second around a man who was just flirting with you for the hell of it. You were a part of a rival clan, which meant he couldn’t have you. That also meant he wanted you more than the average woman. Of that, you could be certain, but you wouldn’t be some plaything Satoru could throw to the side once he’d had his fun.

Behind you Satoru’s face had fallen, his chest rising and falling quickly as you scurry out of his office. Good, now that the real threat had been dealt with, he had some paperwork to finish. You’d be safer away from him, not wrapped up in his clan dealings and always having to live for others. For once, Satoru wanted to be truthfully selfish – sure he would go out, drink, party, enjoy one or two ladies, but in the end he was left with himself again. Satoru couldn’t save himself and he was scared that the only one powerful enough to pull him out of this desperate cry for help…was you.

༘⋆✿

A couple of months pass by without hide or tail of Satoru. Working alongside him was honestly…freeing. You weren’t held back by the possibility of someone weaker getting hurt. You groan, turning your face to the sky above you. It was gratifying being able to let loose with your own powers. Usually that many mimics will render you immobile, but you were able to spring into action right next to them. “Ma’am, a report from the Tokyo campus,” A file is passed in front of you. As you glance through the pages you turn to glance at your boss.

She seems busy chatting away with one of the other sorcerers. You blow out a sigh and tuck the file under your arm. “Call them back and tell them I’ll be there within the hour.” You glance down at your sweats, wincing at the fact you wore such comfortable clothes to work. “Maybe make that 2.” You mutter, a disapproving scowl taking over your face.

You ran home to change into a pair of running shoes, black leggings, and whatever shirt was on top of your dirty laundry. Unlike someone else, you couldn’t teleport, so public transportation was your only way to reach the Tokyo campus area. Walking up the stairs takes a little more effort than you’d like to admit, but when you reach the top you’re met with a shirtless Satoru Gojo and Nanami Kento training. Your jaw practically dislocates from your mouth as you gawk. They were gliding through the air and Nanami somehow had a more excited expression on his face than before. Of course, Satoru notices you first, but that allows Nanami to get a whack in. “Hey! That was foul play.” Satoru hisses, holding his cheek.

Nanami shrugs, bending down to pick a towel off the ground. “Should’ve put your infinity back up.” He then glances at you and smiles. Your heart warms and a cheesy smile appears on your face. “Hey YN,” He waves and for a moment you’re awestruck by how handsome he is. The Lord was kind to these men. So…so very kind. Both of them were muscular, their abdomens shaped into ridges and divots. Biceps, triceps, everything went on in rippling splendor forever. You’d thought Satoru had maintained a scrawny figure, but you were certainly proved wrong and you were so glad you were.

“Hi there Nanami.” You walk over to him, picking up a stray water bottle on your way. You hand it to him but he shakes his head.

“Thank you, but that’s actually his,” he juts his thumb toward Satoru and your face falls. You toss it toward the silver-haired man and he annoyingly catches it with ease.

He glares at you, throwing his towel over his shoulder. “Yeah, thanks YN.” He grumbles. Nanami nods toward the school building.

“If you let me wash up I can take you to Yaga’s office.” He’s back to smiling and honestly, you might have a thing for smiles.

You latch your hands behind your back and giggle to yourself. “That would be really sweet of you Nanami.” Satoru snorts out a laugh on the other side of Nanami. You shoot him a glare.

“Why are you callin’ Nanami by his first name but you don me fuckface?” Satoru shoots toward you, frustration twinging all of his happiness from the earlier training session. Nanami peers between you two, and then his brows shoot up with an airy laugh.

“Oh my God you’re the one that called him fuckface? That’s so fucking funny.” Nanami laughs toward the sky, a soft sound coming from him.

Satoru grumbles to himself, rolling his eyes like a frustrated child. “You are coming with me.” He growls, latching onto your wrist and pulling you toward the school.

You stumble over your footing as he yanks you down the pathway. “S-Satoru w-wait oh my God!” You yell as you finally enter the building. He tosses you into the room you know to be his office. You falter backward, catching yourself on his desk. “What’s going on, what the fuck was that?” You hiss. He stalks toward you, throwing his towel onto the couch with a little more aggression than you’d like.

He closes the distance between you, his nostrils flaring and eye twitching. “Oh so now you call me by name? Oh well, it’s too late for that now princess. You’ve pushed me far enough.” He laughs hotly moving between your legs. He’s massive and his skin is warm, you can feel the heat radiating off of him through your pants. He towers over you in an overwhelmingly torturously attractive way.

It was hard to understand what was happening with the ringing of your heart covering all rational thought. “What are you saying? I’m not the one that made all those stupid jokes,” You mutter, looking away from him. He hisses, grabbing onto your chin and making your gaze settle back onto him.

He laughs dryly as you blink questioningly at him. “Yeah? You had that stupid crush on me, that’s what caused this.” He spits, but you still can’t decipher what he’s trying to get at.

Your lips part, letting out a small exasperated breath. “Listen, I didn’t mean to crush on you again, just old habits die hard I guess,” You explain, groaning as his grip tightens on your chin. His face looks tormented like some great plague has taken over his body.

He scoffs, tossing your face to the side. You grunt with the impact, narrowing your eyes in annoyance. “Again? Haaa,” He covers his eyes with his hand, groaning softly. “You ran away from me then ignored me YN… how does that scream ‘I have a crush on you?’” The hand that was over his eyes drags down his face. You don’t have an explanation for him because you barely had one for yourself. “You must’ve sent one of your puppets to walk around the streets by my apartment, the campus, but the one thing I can’t figure out is how you got one of them to walk around in my head. I can’t see anyone except you and I’m going crazy.” His eyes are pained and his breath is labored. You finally understand.

“Satoru…” You whisper his name with all the softness in the world, years of loving him building up into an insurmountable emotion. He turns away from you, covering his mouth this time.

“Fuck YN, don’t say my name like that.” He hisses and you swear you can see playboy Satoru Gojo’s ears blaze a red color. “You weren’t even trying earlier, but you made me so jealous. Nanami was flirting with you right in front of me and I couldn’t do a damned thing about it. I wanted to both be Nanami and beat the shit out of him.” He slowly lets his gaze turn to you again. “I think I’m in love with you YN,” His voice is nervous, and his eyes are flittering all over your face, searching for answers.

In love with you? Satoru Gojo was in love with…you? After all the years of your mother telling you to stay away from that boy. You were never supposed to be in this situation, especially not with the head of the Gojo clan. But you know what they say… actually, you didn’t really care about some emotional quote that would relate to this very moment because all you wanted to do – craved to do, was kiss Satoru until the sun set behind the Tori gate.

“Our clans aren’t going to be very happy about this new development.” You chuckle and Satoru rolls his eyes.

“That’s not an answer YN…” Okay, so he wants words. A confirmation? What exactly did you feel? Was it love? Was it something different? You didn’t have to know now, time would solidify whatever love is. All you can do is put a name to what you’re feeling.

You smile, a blossoming feeling thumping in your chest. “Yes Satoru, I love you.” You almost don’t get the words out because Satoru slips a hand into your hair and brings your mouths together in a passionate kiss. He kisses you like he’s been a starved man all his life, like he’s never wanted to kiss someone this badly.

Satoru is obsessed with the way you gasp between kisses and how your eyes squeeze shut. “You can open your eyes, I’m the real thing.” He chuckles and brushes his thumb against your cheek soothingly.

You weren’t afraid Satoru was one of your illusions, but rather how real this was in the first place. When you really want something you shouldn’t the whole world kind of falls away when you get that thing. When Satoru kisses you, it’s only him and that was terrifying for someone who constantly surrounded herself with things. You peek through your lashes at him anyway. “The same thing goes for me, I’m real.” You state lamely.

Satoru blows out a chuckle, grinning mischievously. “Mmm, I’m not so sure about that, maybe you should show me.” His eyes darken and the sweltering heat you felt before nearly doubles in size and intensity.

You put your hand over the one he has on your cheek, lowering it until his fingertips brush against the swell of your chest. His brows shoot up and before he has much time to react you move it lower to the apex of your thighs. His breathing falters as he stares, eyes swimming with lust. “Come on Gojo, show me what a rival clan can really do.” The corners of your mouth lift in an enticing smirk.

For all the time he was irritating and downright egotistical, Satoru is a good listener now. He pushes you into the desk, groaning when your fingernails dig into his shoulders. “You sure do drive a hard bargain.” His mouth tickles against your neck, kissing a trail down to your shoulder. He pauses, taking in a breath. “Mmm, you smell so good,” He mumbles against your shirt. You flush, embarrassment running hot through your veins. Did he like the smell of your dirty shirt? If you’d known the situation you’d be in right now, you would’ve put more thought into what you were wearing.

He brings himself back up toward your face, planting a deep kiss on your lips. A selfish moan breaks through as Satoru works his lips against yours. “God, you’re so good at that.” You breathe out. A satisfied hum rumbles from his chest.

You take in his chest, appreciating the view. This earns a chortle from Satoru. “You know, I’m starting to think you only like me when my shirt is off.” You lean into him, wrapping your legs around his waist. Your eyes widen when you realize there’s something hard pressing into your thigh. How you didn’t feel it until now is a mystery because that thing is one of the 7 wonders of the world. Satoru grunts, pulling you up and off the ledge of his desk. “Do you feel that? I think I finally understand what the elders were talking about. All I want to do with you right now is ram my cock into you until I have you writhing under me. Then finish fucking my cum into your cervix so you can mother my children. That way, your parents will have to like me and my clan, because you’ll be a Gojo.” He’s being serious right now, setting you down on the couch.

You bite your lip curiously. “Do you plan on wedding me Satoru Gojo?” It’s a loaded question that he didn’t have to answer. It was a sweet moment and there you had to go asking a question like that. You don’t expect Satoru to sink onto one knee, take your hand, and place loving kisses on your knucks.

He meets your gaze, electricity burning between the both of you. “May you wrap my heart around your finger one day and bear my burdens as I will bear yours.” What was even happening? Marriage? Surely this was one big dream, because years ago when you were both kids even imagining this day seemed like a far-off occurrence. This was all so sudden, but in all honesty, when have the two of you ever conformed to conventional standards?

You were certain of one thing, you didn’t want your first time with Satoru Gojo to be on some dusty couch in the corner of his office. “Satoru… do you think we could continue…” You glance down, running your tongue over your lips. “This elsewhere?” His eyes glimmer, his mouth quirking up in a grin.

He stands, still holding your hand. “I just basically proposed to you and all you can think about is getting in my pants. Man, rejection stings.” He tuts, shaking his head. You roll your eyes as you both laugh, a heavyweight finally being lifted. Yeah, this felt right.

All at once you feel nauseated and dizzy. You squeeze your eyes shut, grasping onto Satoru like he was the only thing that could hold you up. “What the fuck was that?” You gasp, blinking your eyes open to find a completely different scene than when you closed them.

Satoru caresses your cheeks, grounding you to him. “Sorry, I promise you’ll get used to it, well… maybe not, but still I’m sorry.”

“Where are we?” You gasp, hands still clutching his arms as you peer around the living room you appear to be in. It feels less than lived in like someone staged the whole apartment – which is what you assumed Satoru had teleported you both into.

He scratches the back of his neck while nervously chuckling. “My apartment,” His gaze falls to you, taking in how perfect you look among his things. “Do you like it?” He asks with such a look in his eyes, similar to a puppy begging for attention.

You peek out the ground to ceiling-level windows, laughing to yourself. “I didn’t know teachers got paid so much.” Satoru grins, nodding toward the windows – or rather the city outside of them.

“Oh you know, I got kind of a side hustle going on.” He shrugs, then turns to you, that mischievous twinkle back in his eyes. “You should see the bedroom.” He offers you his hand, jerking his head to a hallway. “I hear the owner hates it when the bed is made, the least we should do is go mess them up for him.” You take Satoru’s hand and let him lead you into the bedroom at the end of the hall.

Once the door was shut behind you the playful comments were thrown aside – replaced by frantic kisses and undressing. Satoru sits on the foot of the bed, watching you in all your splendor. Your body was that of a dream, your breasts, the slope of your stomach, thighs, fuck everything about you was glorious. Satoru couldn’t remember how to breathe gazing upon you. “Like what you see?” You tease, positioning yourself over his lap.

You brace yourself on his shoulders, settling onto your knees. Satoru blows out a choked noise. “Thank fuck I have so many eyes because I couldn’t imagine not being able to see all of you like this.” His hands are on you, running up your back, molding his long fingers into your squishy tits, and then down your side to dig his nails into your hips. “Are you okay with this?” He inquires, tilting his head.

You smile, but a small part of you wants to line yourself up with his cock and bottom out. “I’m okay with so much more.” You breath. He understands, after all you both want the same thing right now – crave it.

You both wait with bated breath as Satoru lets you guide him into your entrance. With all the teasing and edging closer and closer to this moment, you were far from dry. It was a little embarrassing how slick you were considering there was practically no foreplay. You hiss as his pretty cock sinks deeper into your throbbing cunt. “That’s it, that’s my good girl. You can take all of me,” His grip on your hips tightens, helping push you onto him. A strangled moan hisses out of your mouth as you slump onto Satoru’s shoulders. “Feels s’good baby. God, you’re so perfect.” He’s kissing your temple and you’re squeezing his cock with airy moans. After a moment, he bottoms out, a guttural groan rumbling from within him. “You did so good, fuck,”

The air feels thick, heady, and fills with the wet sound of Satoru’s cock inside you. “Go-go ahead and move.” You order with a shaky breath. He starts to move, laying back to better fuck into you. You plant your hands on his abdomen, moaning loudly. His length hits every sensitive spot at once, causing you to tremble on top of him.

Satoru chuckles, then suddenly flips you both over. “Come on YN, I thought you’re one of the strongest sorcerers in Japan, you can handle me fucking you.”

160 notes · View notes

imtryingbuck · 1 year ago

Text

Seventy

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: Bucky comes from a well respected family, he falls in love with a girl who prefers the simple things in life. Follow their journey through the years.

Word count: 3,104

Warnings: angst, heavy use of pet names. fluff. swearing. death (cancer)

A/N: No description of reader other than she has curly hair.

Masterlist Series Masterlist

In the fifteen years that has passed Bucky and Y/n became grandparents to a whopping eleven beautiful grandchildren. Each one of them being well and truly spoiled by their grandparents.

Georgia and Billy got married six months after they proposed to each other, two months later they found out they were having a baby. Natalia was born three weeks prematurely, though still tiny she was strong, always kicking her little legs out and had a set of lungs on her. Two years after Georgia gave birth to another baby girl naming her Scarlet after Billy’s favourite superhero character the Scarlet Witch.

Another two years go by and she gives birth to another baby girl named Aurora, or Rory as Y/n always calls her. Four years later Georgia rings her mom to say she’s pregnant again, the whole family getting a shock of a lifetime when they find out that she was pregnant with triplets. Two girls and a boy, Marya, Django and Rebecca, named after Wanda and Pietro’s parents and Bucky’s sister.

Jamie had three children with his now ex-wife, Nicole, though they divorced and she remarried they remained good friends and were amazing at co-parenting with each other. Ryder, Levi and Angel. Angel was born on Bucky’s birthday which he did not shut up about.

Stevie and his boyfriend Ryan had adopted a baby girl when she was a month old, she had the most brightest green eyes Y/n had ever seen. She was born with a cleft lip and her biological mother didn’t want her which was truly a shame as Quinn could melt anyone’s heart just by looking at them.

Sammy and his girlfriend Eva surprised everyone by announcing that she was pregnant, she had been told when she was younger that she was never going to be able to get pregnant which was something she had come to terms with, but she gave birth to a healthy baby boy who they named James, after Bucky and Eva’s dad.

Howard passed away in his sleep two years after Georgia got married. Y/n and Tony held his hands when he passed. He was buried with his one true love, Maria. With Grace on one side and on the other was George and Winnie.

Grace and Bunny’s Haven became successful, another two Havens in different locations had been build and were now being used by men and women. There were plans to build a fourth Haven but it had to be put on hold.

In a year they must have seen hundreds of faces and heard similar stories. No matter how many times she heard them it didn’t stop her heart from aching each time.

Bucky’s and Y/n’s marriage was just as strong as it had ever been, Steve mocked them once for being sickly sweet so Bucky grabbed Y/n by her hand and pulled her into him and kissed her, both putting on a little show for their friends. That was until Georgia was sick.

She was pregnant at the time.

That’s their defence anyway.

The love that they had for each other continued to grow as the years went on. He was still her Ducky and she was still his Bunny. Natalia once asked Y/n if Bunny was her real name and she had to explain that it was a nickname, then explained why her grandpa called her Bunny, the little girl smiled before running to tell Georgia that her grandmas real name wasn’t Bunny.

Two weeks before Y/n and Bucky celebrated their thirty ninth wedding anniversary Y/n started coughing up blood, Bucky rushed her straight to the hospital panic filling his veins the whole time he drove there.

After blood tests were done a doctor sat the couple down and told Y/n that she had cancer. It was terminal.

It took her back to when Maria had been told the same thing, and just like Maria she didn’t cry no she asked questions whilst Bucky held her hand tighter and tighter to the point where it was hurting her but she never once removed her hand away from his. She needed him. Needed him to help ground her.

Y/n begged Bucky not to tell anyone, at least not until after their anniversary which he hesitantly agreed.

They spent their anniversary at the cabin they had been renting for the past thirty nine years to celebrate the date they became one, through the whole week they were there Bucky cried, he couldn’t understand why it was her that had cancer, to him it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that she out of all people had been diagnosed with cancer, it’s wasn’t fair after all her kindness and love she shared and gave to others that she was going to be dying a slow death.

He couldn’t understand how she remained so calm throughout her diagnosis and the week they were away.

“I’ve lived an amazing life Ducky, everything will be okay I promise” she told him as she held him in her arms, wiping his tears off his cheeks and kissing his forehead.

A week after finding out that she had terminal cancer she and Bucky sat their kids down, their hearts breaking at seeing and hearing the most important people to them crying, shaking their heads in denial, Y/n got up and grabbed a hold of her children squeezing them into her chest tight, telling them how much she loves each and every one of them. She couldn’t stress enough of how proud she was of them. Bucky joined in on the family hug, all six of them crumbling together on to the floor.

Telling the group plus Tony was difficult too, all of them in denial about what Y/n was telling them. Each of them couldn’t believe that the strongest one out of them all had been diagnosed with a vile disease such as cancer.

Even with getting chemotherapy to try and slow down the cancer she was becoming weaker not like it stopped her from doing her work at Grace and Bunny’s Haven. Bucky tried and failed to get her to slow down but she wouldn’t, couldn’t as she wanted to continue being there for those who came to her for help before she passed.

“Nanny sweetie” Y/n looked down to see Quinn staring up at her with those wide green eyes that she loved so much.

“You want a sweetie darling?”

“Yes pwease nanny”

“Who am I to say no to you huh? Go ahead and get one sweetheart”

“You spoil her too much you know mom” Stevie said as he came into the living room where she was.

“I know I do but look at them cheeks”

Stevie stood by the couch and stared down at his mom, his heart ached at seeing her looking weak, something he never thought he would ever see or say about his mom. To him she was the strongest person he had even known and possibly would ever know. It had been just over a year since her diagnosis and though she was getting chemotherapy it wasn’t doing much other than delay the inevitable.

Two months prior Y/n and Bucky celebrated their fortieth anniversary, their children planned and organised a party for them at their home. Family and friends were all there to celebrate the love and memories of their time together.

Y/n cried at the surprise and seeing all their loved ones all together, Bucky cried knowing it was the last anniversary they were going to celebrate.

“H-how are you feeling today mom?”

“I’m okay don’t worry about me pumpkin”

“Mom-“ he sighed softly he knew she was still putting up a front, still trying to keep up a positive outlook though all those around her could see her smile fading everyday. “How are you, really?”

“I-I’m scared of dying if I’m honest Stevie, b-but like I told your dad I’ve lived a great life so I’m okay with what’s happening”

Stevie sits next to his mom holding her hands as he started to struggle with keeping his tears at bay. The strongest person he knows had just told him that she was scared. He didn’t realise that he had tears falling from his eyes until Y/n reached out and wiped his cheeks.

“Oh don’t cry my dear boy, everything will be okay I just know it”

“B-but you’re going to die mom, your d-dying an-an-and I can’t do anything to s-stop it from happening” Stevie stuttered out, he was always the one out of the four siblings that wanted to help everyone and anyone, he always felt like he had failed somehow if he couldn’t help people.

“St-Stevie look at me- oh my sweet boy everything is going to be okay I promise. You can’t control this and neither can I but everything will be okay”

“B-but what do I do without you momma?”

“Live your life to the fullest, love until your heart and soul are content, make memories and for the love of god keep being yourself Stevie. And when things get tough just look up at the sky night or day and just know I’m looking down on you, even though I’m not going to be here physically doesn’t mean your getting away from me, alright?”

Stevie nods with tears running down his cheeks, hugging his mom tightly and promising her that he will do everything she told him too. They separate when Quinn comes stumbling over with chocolate all over her face, smiling widely not understanding the conversation between her dada and nanny.

A month after having that conversation with Stevie, Y/n took a turn for the worse. Bucky knew the end was near for his Bunny, when that realisation hit him he went to the toilet and puked up.

On Wednesday 20th August, Bucky stood from the doorway watching his wife, his one and true love, his Bunny sleeping in their bed, his coloured eyes went from her face to her chest to make sure it was still rising.

“Y-you watching me sleep Ducky?” Her soft voice whispered filling in the quiet room.

“Of course my sweet Bunny”

“Duck-“

“Not today baby please”

“I-I don’t think I have another d-day in me Duck”

“Pl-please Bun”

Y/n smiled weakly, slowly patting the bed for him to come over. Holding his hand she raised his hand to her lips where she placed a lingering kiss to his knuckles.

“I-I don’t want the kids being in the room when I go Ducky, please promise me that they won’t be here.”

“Why?”

“It’s not fair on them to see me go Ducky, so please promise me”

“I-I promise Bunny, I promise”

Hand in hand for about thirty minutes, Bucky slowly stood and stumbled downstairs to grab his phone. Ringing Georgia his voice shook as he told her that she needed to get everyone to the house so that they could say their goodbyes, leaning heavily against the counter his heart cracking when he could hear his oldest child breaking down on the other end of the phone, he could hear Billy’s voice cracking in the background as he tried to get their children ready.

Coming off the phone to Georgia he rang Jamie to tell him the same, he knew he was currently with the twins. He rang Tony, then Steve asking his longest friend if he could tell everyone else, he simply couldn’t have that conversation once again. Climbing the stairs and heading into their bedroom Bucky sighed a breath of relief when he noticed her chest still rising and falling, he let her know that everyone was on their way.

“Duck, have I ever told you how much I love you?”

“Every day for the past forty three years” Bucky admits with a smile.

“Thank you for the best years of my life James, you’ve al-always made me happy you know? You’re my world, my light, my better half my love, I’ve lived a life full of happiness and I’ve known true love because of you, so thank you Ducky”

Bucky makes no attempt to wipe the heavy stream of tears away, he tries to find the words to tell her how much she means to him but before he could find them the bedroom door opens revealing his greatest achievements.

Their children.

Bucky sits back and lets his children and best friends say their goodbyes in their own ways, his heart feeling heavier and heavier the longer they are there. He sits there with his hand in hers watching his Bunny smile at each member of their very large family, he knows that she accepted her fate the moment the doctor told her the news, he knows even though she’s scared of death and of the unknown that comes with it, scared of leaving her loved ones behind and of the thought of never seeing any of them again.

Despite the ending of her story coming to an end so soon she still keeps a smile on her lips, trying to show her family that it’s okay, it’s okay that she’s going to be going to sleep soon and never waking back up.

After an hour of being surrounded by the people who meant the world to her she gives Bucky a look silently telling him that it was time. Choking back a sob he tells his children and best friends that they needed to leave, each of them confused until Y/n speaks up and tells them that she doesn’t want any of them being there, each of them trying to protest - fear and the truth of what was happening making them stay in place, until Bucky gave them all a single look.

The family they created stumbled out of the room, holding on to each other. Before shutting the door behind him Tony took one last long at his baby sister, his heart breaking at the sight in front of him.

Bucky climbing into the bed next to his only love clinging to her like a lifeline.

“I love you Bunny, I love you so much Y/n thank you for everything. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be yours. I-I love you, I love you.” Bucky whispers as he sees the eyes belonging to the only woman who he’s ever loved purely and deeply, the woman who he watched give life four times, the woman who gave his life meaning. The woman who he’s loved since he was an innocent little child who didn’t really know the meaning of love, starting to flutter closed.

“I’ll be with you soon my love” he again whispers, so terrified to speak any louder as she would hear the way his voice cracks, he needed to be strong for her. He couldn’t let her down.

Georgia walked into the room with slow timid steps. Falling to her knees with a loud thud she releases a gut wrenching sob which has her brothers, uncles and aunts flinching and bowing their heads.

“Wh-when do we get to give nanny her birthday presents?” Rory asks innocently, completely unaware of why everyone was crying.

Standing in front of so many people, many she knew, many she didn’t. Georgia though her heart ached as she stood at the podium next to her mommas coffin she smiled. Smiled at seeing that so many people had come to say goodbye and pay their respect to her beautiful mom, smiled at seeing them all dressed in bright clothes. Georgia told everyone that she didn’t want anyone wearing black.

Georgia smiled at seeing all the people who had gone to Y/n to seek help had arrived at the church. The air got caught in her throat when she saw the four women and the first man who were the first people to arrive at Y/n’s sanctuary were all sitting together.

“My mom was the greatest woman I had ever met, strong and beautiful. Her heart knew no bounds, she always saw the good in people. My mom was my best friend, the person so many people could turn to for help or a shoulder to cry on o-or just someone to hold them. My mom is and will always be my hero. Her laugh was infectious and so was her smile, my mom would make jokes about things that weren’t really funny but she would laugh and you just couldn’t help but laugh along. She truly was an inspiration to me and too many others. Her love for my dad was beyond words, she loved him so deeply and wholeheartedly, so purely. I am beyond proud to say that I am the daughter of Y/n Barnes”

She looks towards Billy who nods slowly as to encourage her to continue. She wipes the tears from her eyes.

“My dad was incredible, funny, loving and one of the kindest men I had ever met. My dad was the reason why my mom was able to create Grace and Bunny’s Haven, he supported her every step of the way, supported strangers and friends. His love like my mom’s knew no bounds-“ the feeling of her throat drying and closing has her coughing lightly.

“I’m sorry. The love my dad had for my mom was so strong that everyone who knew or just saw them together could see how much he loved her, could see that my mom was his whole world. I am beyond proud to say that I am the daughter of James Barnes”

Looking sadly at her father’s coffin lying right next to her moms she breathes deeply. “On behalf of my family I would like to say thank you to all those that have come today, thank you for donating money towards Grace and Bunny’s Haven, thank you for your kind words and stories of how our parents touched your lives. Tha-thank you”

Steve watches his niece as she steps down from the podium, her hands shaking as she moved towards Billy who stood up and took her hand in his. “I’m so proud of you baby” he whispered into her ear. He smiled at the memory of Bucky doing the same to Y/n when she spoke at Maria’s funeral.

He looks at the two coffins lying there, knowing that his two best friends were in them, knowing that one died of cancer and the other of a broken heart, made his eyes sting with unshed tears.

Y/n passed away in the arms of her Ducky.

Bucky passed away with his arms around his Bunny.

And side by side they were buried next to their parents.

A/N: I was listening to Elvis Presley Bridge Of Troubled Water and Always On My Mind writing their deaths…and when I say I was sobbing I mean I was s. o. b. b. i. n. g.

Tags: @cjand10 @unaxv @mcira @bisexualnikkisixx @kneelforloki @kandis-mom @sagebarness @sandyruston @scott-loki-barnes @nikkivillar @saltedcoffeescotch @scentedharmonymiracle @examinarei @sarcastickiddo @sadboiabby @unholyhuntress @8crazy-freak8 @ijustneedpopcorn @moonbeampillgoth @imcinnamoons @elmo-1066 @violetwinterwidow01 @suz7days @adoredire @ozwriterchick @randomrosie01 @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @emerald-writes @justafangir1 @sibsteria @spencerreidisagorgman @sapphirebarnes @bruher @hawkinsavclub1983 @onlyonetifosi @parisadams @unabashedstarlightcrown @nash-dara @allofffmypeaches @loki-laufeyson68 @behindmygreyeyes @missvelvetsstuff @pigeonmama @lizslibrary @gloriouspurpose01 @gaya-is-weird-af @capsbestgirl77

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siriusblack-the-third · 5 months ago

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HEADCANONS: BILL WEASLEY

Tall. So damn tall. By the time he stops growing, he has reached 6'5, and he gleefully lords it over his younger siblings for years, until Ron manages to match his exact height, not a millimetre here or there. He sulks about it for a few days before inviting Ron to join him in taking the piss out of their siblings.

Wears his hair long specifically to annoy Molly. It was simply because he was so caught up in OWL studies that he forgot to cut it, but then Molly saw him with his hair that reached the base of his neck and freaked. He deliberately kept his hair long from then on, and it kind of grew on him by 7th year.

Speaking of hair, he has fabulous hair. Absolutely gorgeous. Stunning. It's pin straight like Arthur's, unlike Charlie who got Molly's tightly wound curls. He keeps it till mid back and braids it frequently. Bill And Ginny Days™ compulsorily have at least one braiding session.

THIS BOI IS BI! He is very bi and his type is ✨Badass Motherfucker✨ as evidenced by him falling for Fleur like look at her. Enough said.

Quidditch fiend, like all the other Weasleys, and was on the team from 2nd year all the way up to the end of 6th year as Chaser. Dropped Quidditch in 7th year, because being Head Boy and being a Quidditch player while studying for NEWT exams would have been too much for him and he knew it.

Got his ear pierced in 5th year from his best friend after winning a Quidditch match. He was half drunk, and when he woke up the next day he freaked the fUCK out. He managed to hide the piercing from Molly for a record breaking eight months, and the shouting match that happened in the summer before his 6th year was the worst argument he ever had with her.

Has Eldest Daughter Syndrome™. He resents Molly a little, because he never entirely got to be a child. He always had to be the Responsible Older Sibling, even as young as 3 years old. He loves his mother, but living under the same roof as her was suffocating, for him. He said as much to Arthur in a very long conversation, and they both decided with much difficulty that Bill wouldn't be returning home after 7th year— he would immediately leave for Egypt.

In the first year of his stay in Egypt he decided to say "fuck it" and got a tattoo. It's on his shoulder, a falcon in greyscale that spreads down over his bicep and out on his shoulder blade. Molly does not find out about it until the end of HBP when he gets mauled by Greyback, and he does not tell her anything about it, claiming that he is "an adult and can get a tattoo if I want to Mum, back off."

N E R D. Such a huge nerd but people look at his piercings, long hair, muscles and his whole "90s rockstar" vibe and immediately assume he is the "popular jock" type, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. My man freaks out over magical history, ancient runes and languages, transfiguration and arithmancy. A total nerd, I tell you, and scary smart. He got 12 Outstanding OWLs and 8 Outstanding NEWTs, and reduced Molly to incoherent happy crying both times.

The Hat offered him Slytherin, and he seriously considered the option for a good few minutes. "You have a lot of ambition," the Hat told him to his pleasure, "and a thirst to find your true calling." At the age of eleven, he was already sick of being "just one of the Weasleys" and wanted to step out of his parents' shade and figure himself out. In the end, the Hat sorted him in Gryffindor, but many times he has wondered what life would have been like if he ever sorted Slytherin.

Knows a lot of dances. Arthur and Molly are both fabulous dancers, and a few of his favourite childhood memories begin with his parents teaching him how to move his hips and slide his feet and enjoy the music. He's great at waltzing, knows the foxtrot and swing dance, and learnt paso doble and the tango in the seven years he spent in Egypt.

Listens to a lot of muggle rock music. All the cool bands like AC/DC, Oasis, Nirvana, Green Day, and all of those, plus a few obscure bands that he decided he liked the sound of. He's also big on different types of classical music, courtesy of his love for dance.

His favourite sibling is Charlie. Don't get him wrong, he loves all his siblings, but Charlie has a special place in his heart because they're both close in age and understand each other better than anyone else. Bill and Charlie are almost like Fred and George, a bit: one look and they know everything the other is thinking. Doesn't have a least favourite sibling, but seriously considered Percy for the role during OoTP.

Loves learning languages. The languages he is fluent in are English, Gaelic, Welsh, Old Norse and Icelandic, Latin, Ancient Greek, Spanish, Arabic (Egyptian and Hassaniya dialects), and Persian.

Has a soft spot for Ginny, like every other Weasley. That's his baby sister who can put him on his back in less than 0.2 seconds and he adores her.

#harry potter headcanons #bill weasley #bisexual bill weasley #bill weasley headcanons #harry potter #the weasleys #weasley siblings #weasley headcanons #long haired bill weasley #sirius speaks

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vindicated-truth · 1 month ago

Text

Dongsik finds him at the balcony of their hotel room.

He closes the main entrance door, drops the key card on the desk, and slides open the door to the balcony. He does none of these things quietly, deliberately alerting the other person of his presence.

Han Joowon does not react. Dongsik’s presence isn’t unwelcome then.

He sidles up to him and holds on to the railing, following Joowon’s lead as he surveys the view before them.

The sky above is overcast with fading light, with the sun ready to set beneath the ocean in an hour or so. The temperature is chilly but not cold, and the beachfront breeze is ruffling his hair. There’s a distant peal of laughter in the background, with little kids running around and playing in the sand with their parents.

“Second thoughts?” he asks softly.

A hand immediately slides over to cover his, fingers untangling his hold on the balcony to thread theirs tightly together.

“Never about you.”

Dongsik turns to Joowon then at his earnest declaration and offers him a gentle smile, understanding the deflection for what it is.

He understands Joowon far, far too well—even when Joowon doesn’t understand his own self.

“But you are having second thoughts.”

This time, Joowon hesitates, lips pressed tightly together with a frustration Dongsik knows Joowon doesn’t know how to articulate. Instead, Joowon tugs at Dongsik’s hand on his—and Dongsik, as always, allows himself to be led.

He will always go where Joowon tells him to go.

Which is just as well, as he once again finds himself in his favorite place in the world, safe and warm: wrapped up in Joowon’s arms.

He sighs in contentment, leaning back against Joowon’s taller, sturdier frame as Joowon hooks his chin over Dongsik’s shoulder. “They look happy,” Joowon murmurs, his breath a warm gust of air tickling Dongsik’s ear.

Dongsik follows his gaze—and his mouth quirks in amusement. It isn’t the sound of kids he’s been hearing after all—although by the looks of it, they may as well be children.

Jihoon is barefoot in the sand, screaming in mock-fear as he runs for his life as Jihwa chases after him, brandishing her own shoe at him. It makes Dongsik grin at the all too familiar sight; there had been one too many times when he’d seen Jihwa going after her little brother like this when they were growing up, especially whenever she’d find out that Jihoon had been skipping school for his idol auditions and trainings.

Jaeyi squeals in delight as soon as she catches Jihoon, who realizes far too late that the two women have teamed up against him and Jihwa has in fact been leading Jihoon straight to her. It seems to be a team game of boys versus girls, Dongsik muses, as Gwangyoung himself is running away from Seonnyeo, yelling at her to go after her husband instead.

Dosoo—who until then has been hiding behind where Ohsub is designated with what Dongsik can only assume are babysitting duties, as Huimang intently builds her sandcastle under Ohsub’s watchful eye—swiftly rises and backs away in fear as soon as he locks gazes with his partner.

And with Jihwa’s leading battle cry, all three women begin chasing after Dosoo, as Huimang happily cheers her mother on and Dosoo loudly complains about his kid having a favorite parent.

“They are happy, Joowon-ah.”

Joowon’s arms tighten around his waist.

“Sometimes I can’t help but wonder if—I deserve them.”

Dongsik twists as much as Joowon’s tight hold on him allows to stare at him. “Yah, I’m the one you’re marrying tomorrow,” Dongsik mock-complains, correctly predicting the fond, exasperated way Joowon huffs at him in return. “Shouldn’t it be my approval you’re worried about?”

Callused fingers gently lift his chin for him to meet Joowon’s eyes.

“Because with you, jagiya, I never had any doubt.”

And that’s a damnably deadly combination: the low rumble of Joowon’s voice; his heated, half-lidded gaze; the endearment that is less affection and more wholehearted, indefatigable truth.

Dongsik is thankful for the way Joowon is holding him up because it never fails to make his knees weaken, like this.

“Such a turnaround,” Dongsik teases, not even bothering to hide his breathlessness, “from the way you doubted everything about me the first time we met, Inspector Han.”

He has made this joke a thousand times before, but somehow it doesn’t land today, judging from the way the light in Joowon’s eyes unexpectedly dims.

Dongsik turns to fully face him, forcing Joowon to loosen his hold on him. “Joowon-ah,” he says quietly. “What exactly is it that you think you don’t deserve?”

You deserve the world, Dongsik wants to tell him, and it pains me that I fall short in giving it to you.

That I fail in making you believe you deserve it.

Despite disentangling himself from Joowon’s embrace, Dongsik is still caged inside Joowon’s arms leaning on the railing on either side of him. Joowon doesn’t really let Dongsik go—he never does. That’s the one thing Dongsik has never doubted about Joowon, too: that he will never, ever be too far away from Dongsik.

It’s Joowon’s wordless reassurance that he will always come back—even when he gets lost inside his own head, like this.

Joowon’s lids fall close when Dongsik reaches up to cup his cheek, thumb caressing the soft, sensitive skin beneath his eyes. His bags aren’t as prominent and deep as they had been a year ago, when Joowon had been in such excruciating physical pain, despite fighting his best to hide it from Dongsik.

Ever since he almost lost Joowon that day, Dongsik doesn’t take for granted all the chances he has to touch Joowon like this, reassuring himself of Joowon’s vow that he will always be by Dongsik’s side.

Even at death’s door.

Joowon reaches up to take Dongsik’s hand and presses his mouth at the centre of Dongsik’s palm; Dongsik’s fingers curl inwards, wanting to catch and keep that searing kiss with him forever.

Behind them on the beachfront below, there’s a resounding victory cry as Dosoo is successfully tackled to the ground, his own toddler jumping on his chest as she joins in on the game.

“Not fair!” Gwangyoung can be heard complaining good-naturedly. “Our team is outnumbered!”

“Then go make a son when it’s your turn to get married!” Ohsub can be heard yelling back to a resounding chorus of laughter.

“Joowon-ah,” Dongsik murmurs, “how can you think you don’t deserve them, when they’re your family too?”

“They were yours, first.”

Dongsik’s breath hitches when Joowon’s eyes flutter open to meet his.

“They’re here for you, first and foremost,” Joowon tells him softly. “Because it is you they loved first.”

Joowon’s lips brush along Dongsik’s knuckles as he speaks, the sensation a grounding counterpoint to the pang that shoots up Dongsik’s chest.

“I am simply someone they welcomed into the family because it is you they love, because your happiness is paramount to them—a sentiment that I fiercely share, given that I, too, love you.” Here Joowon smiles warmly at Dongsik, butterflies flying from Dongsik’s belly up to his heart. “And somehow, impossibly, you find yourself happy with me, and for that I will always be deeply, humbly grateful.”

It still takes Dongsik’s breath away when Joowon fills his personal space like this, foreheads touching and breaths mingling—close enough to bridge that hair’s breadth of a gap between their mouths. “Because of you, Lee Dongsik… I have a true family now, too.”

Dongsik would’ve kissed him by now, the way he has a thousand times before, like a sunflower drawn to never ending kisses from the sun. But Dongsik will not allow himself to be distracted at the moment because this—despite knowing Joowon from the inside out by now, he still doesn’t understand this.

“And what does all of that have to do with you not deserving any of it?”

Joowon’s gaze is assessing now, head tilted slightly to side, and Dongsik knows he hasn’t been able to stop the frustration from seeping into his tone. Dongsik has always been hyperaware of every single minuscule change of Joowon’s expressions, and he heartbreakingly recognizes this:

Contrite and apologetic, Joowon brushes his lips on the corner of Dongsik’s mouth—as if kissing Dongsik, too, is a privilege he can’t allow himself to deserve.

Dongsik feels like his heart is being squeezed from the inside.

“Because I haven’t earned it,” Joowon whispers. “I now have all this love from them—and from you—yet I haven’t earned any of it.”

Shamefaced, Joowon buries his face on the crook of Dongsik’s neck, even as he wraps his arms tightly around Dongsik’s waist to embrace him once again, holding on for dear life—frightened, it seems, that Dongsik will push him away this time.

Dongsik, meanwhile, is trembling from the scorching fury that erupts inside of him.

He’s been trying his best to not think of Han Kihwan these days, because the monster doesn’t deserve to be even spared a thought, but it’s the unavoidable conseqeunce of loving Han Joowon:

That everyday, Dongsik is reminded of the extent of Han Kihwan’s monstrosity through the damage he has done to his own son.

How fucked up of a father do you have to be to teach your son all his life that love has to be earned?

The fabric of his shirt crumples as Dongsik feels Joowon’s fingers curl into fists on the small of his back, and it abates Dongsik’s boiling anger down to a simmer, Joowon’s touch grounding him as always to what is important to address.

Because Joowon doesn’t know, Dongsik realizes with a start.

Joowon doesn’t know.

Joowon doesn’t know that when they watched the music festival and Minjeong’s favorite song was being played by the band on stage, Jihoon revealed to Dongsik then that Joowon had once sought his advice, because Joowon saw Dongsik quietly weeping during the anniversary of Minjeong’s death, and Joowon had searched high and low for the already sold out tickets to the festival when Jihoon informed him of the event taking place on Minjeong’s birthday.

Joowon doesn’t know that Dongsik knows Joowon returns constantly to the morgue, both on the date of birth and date of death of Lee Geumhwa, offering his own gifts and prayers even though Joowon doesn’t believe in a god either, because it is Seonnyeo who always secretly assists him in bypassing the officers in charge who won’t allow him near Lee Geumhwa’s body, simply because he isn’t family.

Joowon doesn’t know that the caregiver in charge at The Forest Nursing Home once happily told Dongsik that they had been receiving a steady supply of tangerines for Kim Yeonghui from an anonymous donor, not knowing that aside from Kang Jinmook, Han Joowon was the only other person who knew that tangerines were the favorite fruit of Dongsik’s mother.

Joowon doesn’t know that Jaeyi had once pulled Dongsik aside and told him in no uncertain terms that it would be better for Joowon to accept his eligibility for citizenship in England so that he and Dongsik could get married there, because aside from the fact that their marriage would actually be legally recognized, it would also be safer for Joowon to be away from his father’s men in the National Police Agency, and that the only reason Joowon staunchly refused this logical solution was because he was determined to stay here in Korea for Dongsik.

Joowon doesn’t know that while he was recuperating in the hospital a year ago, Ohsub had called for an official meeting with all of the cops and detectives in their trusted Manyang circle—including Dongsik, even though he wasn’t a part of the force anymore—to inform them all of the constant danger Han Joowon was in as Han Kihwan’s men were determined to eliminate the son who destroyed his father’s fallen network, that this was the true hell Joowon once vowed he would go through, for Dongsik.

Joowon doesn’t know that Jihwa once went to Dongsik’s house in Okcheon lake alone, while Joowon was in physical therapy, and asked Dongsik—begged him, threatened him—to be a hundred percent sure of his feelings for Joowon, to be sure that Dongsik wouldn’t be stringing Joowon along, to be sure that Dongsik wouldn’t leave Joowon in the end, because Jihwa had just wrapped up the controversial case with The Community Safety and Traffic Bureau and she had burst into hysterical sobs in Dongsik’s arms because of everything she had found out—everything she discovered Jowoon had to go through—simply because Joowon chose to stay by Dongsik’s side.

Joowon doesn’t know that it was inside The Community Safety and Traffic Bureau that Dongsik unexpectedly found himself reunited with Park Jeongje.

Joowon is right—Dongsik is the one their family has loved first. But it is Joowon they now fiercely love more, because it is Joowon who needs that love more.

No one will ever love Joowon more than Dongsik. That much Dongsik is absolutely certain. But Dongsik also knows, as each member of their family has unanimously proven, that between the two of them, it is Joowon who loves better.

Joowon already deserves Dongsik’s love—and that of their family—a thousand times over. But that is not even the point Dongsik has to prove today.

Because Dongsik will not be like Han Kihwan. His love for Joowon will never be something Joowon has to earn.

So he gathers Joowon close and murmurs: “I’ve always wondered what it would have been like, had Yuyeonie fulfilled her dream.”

He feels Joowon stilling in his arms. Slowly, Joowon pulls back, his face carefully neutral to conceal the ever-present guilt he knows Dongsik doesn’t like seeing.

“I’ve always wondered what it would have been like to be the proud brother of one of the most brilliant minds this country’s judiciary will ever have the privilege of being served by.” Dongsik smiles at Joowon ruefully. “She was the only person in the history of Manyang to have been accepted in Seoul National University’s law department. It’s partly because of the way she set such a high intellectual standard that I’ve always been drawn to intelligent people.”

“I know,” Joowon says simply, making Dongsik grin.

Joowon watches with curious eyes the way Dongsik reaches inside the pocket of his pants to take out his mobile phone. Dongsik taps on the messaging app and opens the most recent message he had just received a while ago, which is the reason why he had been looking for Joowon in the first place.

He holds up the screen for Joowon to see, and Joowon’s brows furrow as he reads the message.

Hey, just arrived here in Busan. Case in Seoul demanded overtime work. I’ll be checking in at the hotel later. Is there anything you’d like to go over with me before the ceremony tomorrow, as the officiant?

He sees the way Joowon’s gaze flickers up the screen to look at the name on Dongsik’s contacts—and his eyes widen.

BROTHER-IN-LAW

“Thanks to you, Han Joowon,” Dongsik tells him softly, “now I will never have to wonder what it’s like to be the brother of a brilliant lawyer.”

Dongsik is ready for it, catching him as Joowon crumples against him, the skin of Dongsik’s neck becoming wet with Joowon’s tears.

“Hyung is a poor replacement for Lee Yuyeon,” Joowon tells him with a warbled whisper.

“No one will ever replace her,” Dongsik murmurs as he strokes Joowon’s hair. “There will never be anyone in the world like Lee Yuyeon. But you also have to admit, Joowon-ah…”

Dongsik pulls back, and he tenderly brushes away the wetness from Joowon’s cheeks. “There will never be anyone in the world like Kwon Hyeok, either. And if it weren’t for you, Joowon-ah, I never would have known what it’s like to have a brother relentlessly fight for me, too. To fight for my right to love you.”

Joowon’s eyes flutter close as Dongsik reaches up to kiss his eyelids, tasting the salt of Joowon’s tears on his lips. “Joowon-ah,” Dongsik whispers. “You’re not the only who has gained a family.”

He brushes their noses gently together as Joowon looks at him once more, those beautiful eyes glistening the same way the Busan sea reflects the incoming moonlight.

“Because of you, Joowon-ah… I am a brother once again.”

—

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

“This is where I’ll be working now, too. Looks like it’s your first day as well. Who knew we’d be back working together in a place like this, eh?”

“You expect me to believe that your parole officer just happen to coincidentally assign you to The Community Safety and Traffic Bureau as a glorified janitor?”

“… I may have—suggested it.”

“So who really sent you here? Did Jihwa send you in here to be my handler, to make sure I don’t get into trouble?”

“Jihwa-ya doesn’t know that I’m here. I didn’t even know you’d be here either—although I guess I should’ve expected it.”

“Then why are you here? Because I don’t believe for a second that you’re here for no reason.”

“I’m not here for you, Dongsik-ah. I’m here for Han Joowon.”

“… What?”

“They hurt my friend. And no one gets away with hurting my friend. That’s why I’m here for the same reason you are.”

“And what reason would that be, Park Jeongje?”

“… Vengeance.”

—

“What are you doing here?”

The smile Jeongje gives him is small and hesitant as he stands and gives an unnecessarily polite bow. “I just arrived this morning. Joowonie—Inspector Han—invited me.”

“I know,” Dongsik says impatiently. “I meant—what are you doing here sitting at the back?”

Jeongje blinks at him.

Dongsik sighs. “Joowonie reserved a seat for you up front,” he gestures gruffly. “You’re his best man, you know.”

“I do know.”

Jeongje is still gazing at him contemplatively, and it’s making Dongsik feel antsy and unsettled. “What?” he bursts out.

This time, Jeongje’s smile turns wistful. “A long time ago, whenever the thought of you getting married used to cross my mind… I’d always imagine that I’d be your best man.”

Dongsik looks away. “Things… changed.”

Jeongje’s reply is soft. “I know.”

He’s already walked past Dongsik towards his designated seat before Dongsik is finally able to unstick the words stuck in his throat.

“Park Jeongje.”

He stops.

Dongsik swallows. “You can return the favor to Joowonie someday,” he says haltingly. “He can be the best man to your future wedding, too.”

He can be your friend now, because I can’t be.

Not anymore.

He sees the way Jeongje’s shoulders slump for a moment, before he suddenly straightens, seemingly bracing himself before he looks back at Dongsik.

His smile this time is bittersweet.

“The only girl I’ve ever wanted to marry is now at peace,” he tells Dongsik. “And I am content with seeing her brother finally have the happiness he deserves, too.”

By the time Dongsik remembers how to breathe, Jeongje has already taken his seat up front, where he is happily welcomed by Jihoon.

A hand on the small of his back grounds him—the soothing gesture as familiar as his own heartbeat. He relaxes into the touch, relieved and grateful. The smile he gets in return is fond.

“Your best man has finally arrived,” he informs Joowon softly.

“I see that he has,” Joowon murmurs in return, pulling Dongsik close. He allows Joowon’s assessing gaze on him, easing Joowon’s understandable concern and wordlessly assuring him that Jeongje’s presence is welcome. “Yours is the one who hasn’t arrived yet.”

At this, Dongsik snorts. “When they say women take a long time to get ready, they weren’t kidding.”

“Yah, the nerve of you to complain when I’m doing all of this for you, you punk!”

Dongsik turns at that familiar childhood tone with a grin, which transforms into a sincerely delighted smile when he sees her. “Well, would you look at that! Our resident tomboy is unexpectedly a stunner when cleaned up like this! …Ow!”

Dongsik ends up hopping on one foot, clutching his shin that has just been kicked. “Yah!” he complains loudly. “Those heels are pointy!”

Jihwa straightens, smoothing her figure-hugging long gown with her bejeweled hands, and turns to Joowon with a raised eyebrow.

Joowon’s mouth quirks in amusement. “You’d have to forgive my uncouth fiancé, Jihwa-ssi.” He smoothly takes her hand and kisses the back of it, European-style. “You do look enthrallingly lovely today.”

Jihwa visibly preens in pride, even as a delighted blush colors her cheeks. “See, Dongsik-ah?” she huffs. “That is how you compliment a woman.”

“Yah, what is this, Han Joowon-ssi? You’re not even married yet and you’re already flirting with someone who’s also already taken?”

Joowon turns to smirk at her. “I would never be foolish enough to presume that either you or Jihwa-ssi would ever have eyes for anyone else, given that you both already have the finest partner in each other.”

Dongsik stares. What?

Jaeyi’s smile is radiant, complemented by her elegant updo and the shimmering make-up that lights up her face. “Knows how to compliment women and intelligent to boot.” Jaeyi arches a perfectly plucked eyebrow at Dongsik. “You’re marrying up with this one, ahjussi. You know that, right?”

Dongsik has always been aware of that, yes.

He isn’t aware of this.

“Your seat is already reserved at the front as Dongsik’s best woman, Jihwa-ssi,” Joowon informs her with a smile. “And as Jihwa-ssi’s partner, your seat is of course reserved beside her, Jaeyi-ssi.”

Dongsik is openmouthed in shock as both women walk down the aisle—holding each other’s hands. “When did—” he sputters, “how did—”

Utterly gobsmacked, he looks despairingly at his husband-to-be—who only blinks innocently back at him.

“You knew?”

“You didn’t?” Joowon smirks. “Why do you think the jewelry I gifted them for this occasion were a matching set?”

Dongsik’s mouth opens and closes soundlessly for a moment. “Han Joowon,” he finally settles on, “how many secrets are you keeping from me?”

“None of it was a secret,” Joowon informs him wryly. “You were just blind and dense.”

“Yah!”

“Considering Joowonie here proposed to you three times before you finally had the mind to accept, Lee Dongsik-ssi, I definitely have to agree.”

Dongsik glares, suddenly being reminded that this is unfortunately one of the consequences of having a sibling. “I can get another officiant for today, you know.”

Hyeok smirks back at him. “No, you won’t.” He points at Joowon. “Your fiancé here already paid me to be here.”

“Your rates are exorbitant,” Joowon deadpans, making Hyeok grin as he claps a hand on Joowon’s shoulder.

“Looks like all your guests are already here,” Hyeok observes as he looks around the beachfront venue and glances at his wristwatch. “We can start the ceremony soon.”

“Not yet.”

Hyeok blinks at Joowon’s firm tone. He looks questioningly at Dongsik, who smiles serenely back at him.

“We’re waiting for a very special guest,” Dongsik explains.

Hyeok furrows his brows as he quickly goes over the notes in his hand. “I don’t see anyone in this guest list who isn’t here yet,” he mumbles to himself. He peers at Dongsik. “Just how important is this ‘special guest’ that we’re risking starting the ceremony late?”

“Very,” Dongsik answers enigmatically, grinning at the exasperated look Hyeok throws his way at his cryptic answer.

“We’ve only been able to confirm this guest’s presence last night,” Joowon reveals as he shares a meaningful look with Dongsik.

Hyeok looks back and forth between them. “Why so late, though?”

“It’s—” Jowoon hedges, “a spur of the moment invitation.”

Whatever frustrated protest Hyeok is about to say is derailed as their attention is caught by the doors to the venue suddenly opening.

Dongsik brightens. “He’s here!”

Hyeok’s mouth drops open in utter shock. “… Abeoji?”

Joowon seems to be holding his breath as the guest of honor approaches them, his remarkable presence filling the venue the way light fills a room. The man looks at Hyeok first—and then at Joowon.

His smile is warm and comforting—like the hearth of a home. “My sons,” he acknowledges simply.

Dongsik turns to Hyeok, who looks utterly shell-shocked. “Aren’t you going to introduce us?” Dongsik prompts him gently.

“I—” Hyeok swallows; it’s the first time Dongsik has ever seen the normally unflappable prosecutor this rattled. “I would like everyone to meet my father. Kwon Seungjo.”

The elderly man places a hand on his chest as he bows deeply, which everyone rushes to return. “Wholesale fruit provider, at your service,” Seungjo straightens with a twinkle in his eye. “Although I believe I was invited here to provide a different service.”

Hyeok looks completely panicked, both at being in the dark as the son and as the ceremony’s officiant, and Dongsik takes pity on him. “My family is Catholic,” he explains, “although I haven’t been a practicing Catholic for a long time.”

Hyeok looks at him in utter confusion; it seems like Dongsik’s explanation fails to clear anything up.

Thankfully, Joowon also steps up. “I, too, was baptized Catholic by my mother, as you already know,” Joowon says softly. “Dongsik and I talked last night, and we agreed that it is customary in the Catholic practice for the couple to have a godparent in their wedding ceremony.”

Joowon turns to Hyeok’s father and bows. “Kwon Suengjo-ssi—” he stops and quickly collects himself, “that is to say, abeoji—thank you, for agreeing to be our godfather.”

Hyeok’s eyes are wide as Joowon finally turns to him.

“I know that all of this is just ceremonial,” Joowon tells him softly. “But with abeoji as our godparent, this makes us—”

“—godbrothers,” Hyeok finishes breathlessly.

Joowon takes a deep a breath as he steps closer to Hyeok, who is looking at him like he has just performed a miracle. “A year ago, hyung, I was told that—in the hospital, you were not considered my family.”

Hyeok’s lips are quivering, his eyes glistening with tears that are starting to well up.

“I know that it is a long and arduous legal process, but…”

Joowon trails off as he meets Seungjo’s eyes, wordlessly asking for his approval.

Seungjo nods in assent, and Joowon swallows.

“As you know, my mother is deceased,” Joowon begins shakily, “and my father is serving several life sentences in prison. Which are both grounds for—”

“—adult adoption,” Hyeok finishes with a trembling smile. He turns to his father. “Really, abeoji?”

Dongsik’s heart feels like it’s swelling with the unabashed hope in Hyeok’s voice.

Seungjo claps a hand on Hyeok’s shoulder. “If there’s anyone smart enough and driven enough to make it happen, it’s you, my son.” Seungjo smiles at him. “You have always wanted a brother. Now, you can finally make that happen.”

Hyeok looks utterly devastated in the best way, and he squeezes his eyes shut before he once again turns to face—his brother.

“Joowon-ah,” Hyeok says, and it’s the only thing he can say, words completely failing him.

Joowon smiles at him softly. “Hyung.”

Dongsik looks back and forth at them, waiting, before he sighs in exasperation. He places a hand on the small of Joowon’s back and gives him a gentle but firm push.

Unprepared, Joowon stumbles forward—right into Hyeok’s arms.

“Hyung,” Joowon complains, awkwardly patting Hyeok’s back as Hyeok sobs onto his shoulder. “You’re ruining my tuxedo.”

“I’ll pay for the dry cleaning, you brat,” Hyeok returns without heat as he pulls back, smiling brilliantly at Joowon.

Joowon’s mouth quirks. “Does this mean I don’t have to pay you for your services anymore?”

Hyeok grins widely. “On the contrary, this just makes it easier for me to sue you when you don’t.”

Dongsik laughs as Joowon is once again hoisted into Hyeok’s bear hug much against his will, but he can clearly see that Joowon is smiling. He’s too distracted by the heartwarming sight that he hasn’t realized Seungjo has sidled up to him.

“Looks like you’re my son now, too.”

It’s that simple statement that knocks the breath off Dongsik’s lungs, striking straight through his heart like the bull’s eye of a gunshot.

And in that moment, the faces of Lee Hanoh and Nam Sangbae overlap with the smile Kwon Seungjo gives him as he says to Dongsik:

“You can tell Joowon that he doesn’t have to pay for the tangerines anymore.”

—

A beautiful piano piece begins to play, one that Dongsik recognizes by heart.

It’s one of his favorite pieces of Yuyeon’s original compositions, pre-recorded by Joowon playing the piece himself—the only person Dongsik will ever trust to interpret his sister’s music.

The guests all rise as they turn to face the two of them, the happiness for both of them clear on all of their faces.

“Thank you, Lee Dongsik,” Joowon tells him softly, “for giving me the family I never had.”

Dongsik looks ahead at the altar at the end of the aisle, where Kwon Hyeok and Kwon Suengjo are waiting for them.

His newfound brother—and father.

“And thank you, Han Joowon,” Dongsik returns, “for giving me back the family I lost.”

Joowon looks at him. Dongsik smiles.

He takes his hand—and they walk down the aisle together.

—

Also posted at AO3

Once again dedicated to @eonni92, because I can never hope to make up for brilliance of her multiple gifts, but I can still try, to the best of my ability, to return her generosity—for no other reason than she truly deserves the world ❤️

This story is a direct sequel to ash, and exists in the same universe as the thing with feathers, leave out all the rest, circles, and the sentence. And while this story can be enjoyed on its own, perhaps the full impact can only be truly felt when the references to previous stories are known and understood.

To all of you who have followed the journey thus far: thank you for being in this journey of love, forgiveness, and acceptance with Lee Dongsik, Han Joowon, and our beloved Manyang family.

#괴물 #beyond evil #주원동식 #jwds #이동식 #한주원 #lee dongsik #han joowon #my fic #eonni92

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unidentified-ending · 2 years ago

Note

What's up bro! I was just wondering weather you could make a little oneshot-headcanon about a male student in aizawas class who's younger brother (age 4-5) is quite dangerous due to his quirk but he's never done anything and he's been declined from multiple daycares and his parents are super stressed but Aizawa ends up taking the male reader younger brother to U.A's daycare and everyone in the dorms loves him bc he's so cute.

Thanks man, have a good day!!!!!

A/N: of course bro, this request is so cute so buckle up for some fluffy, maybe ooc aizawa and a cute younger brother.

This can be read as a trans or cis dude but if trans js imagine you got top surgery at a young age (not that young tho!). It's not mentioned anyways

Your parents were stressed. Like stressed stressed.

Your younger brother with (h/c) hair and (e/c) eyes was boping around in your living room.

His name was Kuragari and he could destroy all of reality in one clap of his hand

But it's never happened before, but most people stay away from the cute ball of happiness.

When he was a child (2-3), everyone would stay away from him but he had you

Y/n L/n, a (personality trait) boy who was in class 1a, UA. Aspiring hero, and the best brother anyone could ask for.

Anyways back to the point.

Your parents were stressed, Kuragari's power was getting in the way of his daycare applications.

He was dangerous and so nobody came near him bc of "the sake of the other children"

And your parents both worked and you went to school so it was a hell of a time trying to do something for him

He'd usually get a baby sitter but he'd cry a couple of hours in, begging for you and his parents.

Which made either you, your mother or father come home from work early and have to settle him down

But that when the offer of you life came true.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Y/n" you hear a faint voice call for you.

"Y/n!" The same voice but louder said again.

"Y/N!" The person said and you shot up straight away, the redness in your eyes and the bags under them were a huge sign of no sleep.

You looked around, you were in your classroom but nobody was in there, just your homeroom teacher calling out for you.

"Yes sir! I'm up, I'm up." You exclaimed into the empty room, your brother had woken up crying at exactly 2:27 am yesterday night and your parents wouldn't wake up so you had to deal with Kuragari by yourself and that lasted duntil 4:16 am when he decided to sleep. And you knew you had to wake up at 7 tomorrow so only 3 hours of sleep didn't toll well on your body.

"It's break, why are you still sleeping?" Aizawa questioned, though not making any visable facial expressions.

"I-uh, I just didn't get enough sleep. I'm okay" You said, blinking in drowsiness

Aizawa raised an eyebrow and said "Are you sure? Is there something I need to know?"

"Nah, not really. It's just my younger brother Kuragari. He's been declined by so many daycares' bescuse his quirk is too dangerous for the daycare but hes never actually used it before." You explain and Aizawa listens intently.

"He can break reality in one clap of his hands but he's so cute, he's 5 this year and me, my mother and my father have been extremely stressed about this issue because nobody can baby sit him for more then five hours before he starts to throw a fit and cry. And we have to take care of him at night and its very tiring."

Aizawa listened to your story all the way through and at the end he said, "How about we take him and we can take care of him? It's up to your parents though." Your eyes glimmered at the idea and you told him you'd ask them this evening.

That evening~~~~

"Mum, Dad. I've got news! Sensei Aizawa said he's take in Kuragari into the U.A daycare! Only if you want." You exclaimed when you got into the house and ran straight into your living room.

"Wait what?" Your father said, a hint of surprisment in his voice. "Really?" You mother said, a huge smile growing on her face.

"Yes!" You shouted with picking up your little brother and he immediately started laughing and clapping his hands together in excitement even though he had no idea what you were talking about.

A few hours later

"So what do we need to do to get Kuragari in there?" Your mother said while feeding him some food.

"Nothing, we just have to bring him in tomorrow and they take him in, look after him and there is another sweet girl called Eri in there. She's so sweet and I think they would get along together."

"Are you sure about this, honey?" Your father said to your mother

"It's a opportunity we must take. For the sake of our sleep" Your mother yawned.

Your father nodded on agreement.

"Alright then, but it's your responsibility to dress and wash him in the morning because we have work tomorrow. Fair?" Your father asked while taking a sip of his coffee.

"Fair" you agreed while picking up Kuragari and placing him on the couch and turning on some baby shows.

The next morning~~~~~~

You looked at a snoozing Kuragari at 6:50 am. You knew he was gonna throw a fit about waking this early but he had to get up.

You picked up the snoozing boy and cradled him in your hands, gently rubbing your finger over his forehead to wake him.

He started to fidget in your hands and kick his legs about. That's when he opened his ayes and started wailing.

"Shh, shh it's okay. I need you to wake up for me." You say as you kissed his head and put him in his baby chair.

You made his baby breakfast and ate your own, he was still glaring at you for waking him up early.

After that, you ran a bath for the two of you while he played with some of his toys.

"Kuragari." You exclaimed and he came crawling over to the bathroom with a toy car in his hand.

You undressed him and put him in the bath and you also got in. He flapped around with his bath toys in the bath, accidentally hitting you with some bubbles.

"You silly child" you sighed before taking him out and dressing him in some new clothes.

"Alright lil bro, I'm gonna carry you to school today. So climb on my back." You said while taking your keys and unlocking your front door.

You crouched down do he could climb on your back and he crawled up your back and seated himself right on your shoulders.

Off you two go to school~~~

Surprisingly you were the only two there in your class. Mean class did start at 8:20 and you two got there at 7:59 so it was pretty early.

You went to sit at your desk and then you took your brother off your head and placed him on your desk, then placed your own head on the desk, hoping for some of your own sleep.

Your promised it would 5 minutes but 5 minutes turned into 15.

Your self-consciousness was telling you to get awake and that's when you shot up awake, immediately in search for you younger brother.

"Kuragari" you said, your eyes darted across the room but all you could see were your fellow classmates crowded around something..or someone.

"Where's my brother?" You said in panic and the whole class looked at you in surprise.

"You mean this bundle of joy" Denki said as he held your smiling and laughing brother in his hands.

Your face immediately relaxed, you hadn't lost him.

"I'm so sorry guys-" you started but Mina interrupted.

"There no need to be sorry he's so cute!" She said while the rest if the class agreed with him. You went to join the classmates of yours and when he saw you he did his signature grabby hands and you picked him up.

"Bakugo saw you sleeping when he came in then me spotted your brother on his desk. He carefully just put him back on your desk and sat down."

Bakugo tsked at his desk but didn't deny it.

"What's he even doing here anyways?" Sero says as he laughs with Kuragari.

"Oh it's a long story, so-" then a door slammed open and Aizawa walked in.

"What is going here?" He questioned and everyone moved out the way of Kuragari and Aizawa had one look at the child and back at you and he knew you two were siblings.

Kuragari on the other hand started to cry at the old grizzled man and immediately started to grab onto Deku's shirt.

"Sorry man, he's a bit grumpy. I'll take him out." You say to deku and he waves it off completely fine.

When you walk out of the room, Aizawa walked out as well.

"Sorry sensei, he's just-"

"Yeah yeah, I know. Let's just get him in the daycare and we can start lessons" Aizawa said and the two of you walked to the daycare in silence.

You dropped him off to the daycare in silence where he met Eri and they got along together.

The two of you walked back together to class in silence before Aizawa said. "He looks like you".

"Really?" You say, surprised at the comment.

"Yeah, I bet he's a hard one to deal with."

"Oh he is" you say, enjoying the small talk.

"I can see where he gets it from" he says and you accidentally let out a chuckle.

You knew you had a good teacher.

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lol2345l · 1 year ago

Text

MY VICTOR - finnick odair x f. reader

summary: finnick had always been in love with you from when he was a little boy to a grown man, but ever since the years following his victory of the 65th hunger games when the news of what he must do to protect you hit him it all came crumbling down.

warnings: angst,fluff,self destructive behavior,trauma,!talks of sa…

❛ ━━━━━━・❪🐚❫ ・ ━━━━━━━━━━ ❜

Finnick had always felt this pull towards you. You were like a magnet.

He was seven years old when he first met you, he was sitting alone on the pier overlooking the beautiful seas he loved so much when you sat down by him holding a basket full of shells.

That day he ran home to his family proclaiming that he was in love.

Your families had known each other for a long time and were glad their kids were becoming friends. They often took you two to the beach, your fathers taught you how to fish together and your mothers walked you to school together every morning.

That is until you turned 12 years old and your father had passed in a boating accident.

The Odair family did everything possible to help you and your mother, but the pain was unbearable.

It was also your first ever year of having to participate in the awful and dreadful reaping. Thankfully you had Finnick by your side at all times. He helped ensure you that everything would be fine.

And it was…

Until it wasn’t.

❛ ━━━━━━・❪🐚❫ ・ ━━━━━━━━━━ ❜

It was the morning of the annual reaping, the day many citizens of the districts dreaded. Your mother had prepared you a beautiful dress as you stood in front of the slightly cracked mirror admiring it.

You put on your locket, the one Finnick gave you at the beach when you were 12.

Now you were both 14, still closer than ever before sure that nothing could possibly break you apart.

But things change.

You and your mother headed out of your house walking by to the Odair household.

Finnick stood there smiling as he embraced you in a hug.

“You look very nice…” He smiled trailing off as he put his head down, he was blushing.

You chuckled and just smiled at him giving him a polite thank you as his mother embraced you in a hug.

You were used to his comments although there hadn’t been anything between you two yet.

Sure there was hugs,soft kisses to the cheek or forehead but the idea of being something more was never brought up.

You were both very young anyway and you were bound to have more time tho…right?

Right?

It all had happened so fast, every reaping day to you was usually a blur.

The escort of district 4 walked up to the stage picking through the large glass bowl containing the names of the girls, all praying and hoping not the be chosen.

As the name of a 16 year old girl is announced as she walks up to the stage head held high, you sigh deeply.

You were safe again.

You glanced over at Finnick who gave you his soft beautiful smile.

Now it was time for the boys. Your thoughts consumed you completely.

You knew it couldn’t be Finnick, there was no way. He would be safe again and you would be at the beach in a short amount of time swimming and collecting shells together.

“Finnick Odair!” The escort’s voice boomed through the air as your breath caught up in your throat.

You looked up frantically at Finnick, who was already looking at you. He gave you a sad smile and just nodded slowly.

You wanted to scream,cry and run up to him. And just as you were about to step out of the line and run after him, a girl who stood beside you grabbed your wrist tightly.

She tugged you back warning you and all you could do was just stand there. There was nothing else you could do to save him from this. No matter how much you wanted to.

As people began leaving you ran straight to your mother and the Odair’s, who were all being taken by the peacekeepers to see Finnick once more before he goes.

You were already a sobbing mess, but you couldn’t let him see you like that. He was suffering more, and he was about to suffer even more.

Mr and Mrs Odair went in first, your mother was trying to calm you down. As they left the room your mother held Mrs Odair tightly. She was truly distraught and broken, barely even able to stand.

You ran in as fast as you could as you enveloped Finnick into the tightest hug ever possible.

“You will be okay…I know you will. I believe you will, you will come back..Please,promise me you will.” You chocked out sobbing, holding his face gently in your hands.

He nodded, he needed to come back. He knew that. For his family, for you.

He needed to come back to be able to tell you how he truly feels about you. How his proclamation of love for you when he was seven years old was real. How it is real. He needed to come back so he could tell you how much he truly loved you.

“I promise. I’m coming back for you.” He kissed your forehead, a long kiss holding you close. He held you tightly before the peacekeepers rushed you out. Leaving him alone once more, before boarding the train to his uncertain,impending fate.

❛ ━━━━━━・❪🐚❫ ・ ━━━━━━━━━━ ❜

Watching Finnick’s games was one of the worst things you have ever endured in your life.

Tears were flowing everywhere. Mr and Mrs Odair, your mother and you all watched carefully as Finnick won.

Now the tears were somewhat happy tears, tears of relief and joy. No matter what he had done he was coming back. You knew he would.

Finnick always kept his promises.

His victory tour felt as if years passed by, every hour, every minute was closer to Finnick coming back home.

To his family, to you.

And finally he was coming back. Huddled up at the train station, thousands of district 4 citizens were preparing to welcome home their victor.

As the train doors opened slowly, you ran into his arms. He held onto you so tightly, shaking slowly burying his head into the crook of your neck. You could feel a wet spot forming on your shirt from his tears.

Nothing to Finnick mattered anymore, he was back home holding the girl he loves in his arms.

It didn’t matter to him that almost his whole district was waiting for him. His world always stopped when you were there. You were the sun,the light of his day and the entire time in the capitol and in the games to him it had been dark. And now his sun was back to bring the warmth and light back into his world.

You had gently taken his face into your hands, like before he left and smiled nodding to his family.

He ran up to them, holding them tight before turning to wave to everyone.

Your mother stood by you smiling as Finnick continued to talk to his parents.

You had only now realized how tall Finnick really was. Even at 14, he was very grown. Has he always been this tall? Have you noticed too late? And has his hair always looked so good?

You were blushing just at the thought of him.

But you shouldn’t really, afterall Finnick is your best friend.

Later into the night district 4 had a small party for Finnick. You had dinner together with your families and Finnick shared storied about the capitol and confirmed if many of those rumors told around multiple districts were true.

You were glad to have the boy who stuck by you through everthing in life again.

The boy you love.

The one you love truly,madly and deeply.

❛ ━━━━━━・❪🐚❫ ・ ━━━━━━━━━━ ❜

Two years had passed by since Finnick’s games. The 67th games rolled in and you were thanfully safe once again.

Finnick dealt with bad nightmares as you tried to help him and console him. You let him into your house each time he would run to you from the victors village. Not crying until you opened the door.

You offered for him to stay with you because he was already running to you every night but he didn’t want to burden you and your mother.

Even though he would never be a burden to you ever you didn’t want to argue with him about it.

He deserved peace in any possible way he could get it. Even if it meant running to your house at 3am just to crawl into your bed.

As the 67th games came to an end Finnick was finally back home.

His birthday followed shortly after as his mother,father, your mother and you celebrated together in his house.

A loud knock on the door startled you and you got up to open it. You figured it would be Finnick’s mentor and neighbor Mags, but you were met with another very familiar face.

“President Snow.” You let out a small gasp as Finnick stands up from his spot on the couch rushing to the door quickly.

“Mr Odair, just the man I wanted to see. Happy birthday boy.” He chuckled as he stepped in, Finnick immediately led him to the study his father used.

It felt odd. The entire interaction but you brushed it off letting them talk whatever victor business they had to talk about.

It had already been about an hour and Mags joined you all.

Her expression had worried you deeply as you told her where Finnick was.

President Snow stepped out of the door without a word, just a slight nod at Mags.

A couple moments later everybody was staring at the door of the study.

Finnick emerged, eyes bloodshot red as he just ran out slamming the door behind him. His father got up quickly but his mother sat him back down.

You got up and ran out after him, towards the private beach of the victors village. Your heart broke into a million pieces. Seeing Finnick pacing around on the sand, hands running through his hair repeatedly as tears began to fall.

You didn’t think twice and just ran up to him hugging him tightly. He just fell apart in your arms.

The capitol facade gone. Just a boy from district four crying in the arms of the girl he loves so desperately, the girl who’s heart will break to find out what he must do to keep her safe.

So he resorts to the alternative.

He lies.

Finnick explained he was just stressed and overwhelmed with the victor duties and business, lying about how Snow wanted him to socialize more. His parents believed it and let it go, you barely did. But you did.

After all you didn’t know how it was to be a victor. But if it was always like this, it sure as hell wasn’t as sweet and perfect as they said on all of those capitol broadcasts.

That night you and Finnick shared your first ever kiss. A long,loving and passionate kiss. This time on the lips for a change.

And you were beaming. It was finally happening.

He was ecstatic. The kiss made him forget all about what Snow said. He knew he had to do it anyway. He just got you, he couldn’t lose you so quick.

❛ ━━━━━━・❪🐚❫ ・ ━━━━━━━━━━ ❜

Ever since that night on the beach you and Finnick had been together.

As the tragedy of Mr and Mrs Odair’s passing struck it hit you like a truck. They were like your second set of parents. A big part of your family.

Their passing was so sudden and yet nobody questioned anything. No matter how close you had been you never found out how they died. Finnick said it was a boating accident, but their boat was still at the docks.

You didn’t want to question it any further as Finnick was clearly already struggling with everything, and who were you to scold him some more now?

The reaping for the 69th hunger games came quicker than ever. Your last reaping.

Thankfully you were safe once more and now it was over. You were now 18 years old and free from having to participate in the games. It was truly a blessing.

Although something with Finnick was completely off.

He would come home from the capitol angry and distraught. You tried to confront him and ask him whats wrong but he would just shut you out.

He would either just storm out or lock himself in the bathroom.

He couldn’t escape you though, he was the one who asked you to move in anyway.

It was a constant battle. Finnick coming back home angry,lashing out and then holding you tightly in bed asking for your forgiveness for how he acted towards you.

You didn’t know how to feel. How were you supposed to react when the slightest thing could set him off?

How were you supposed to even act around him when you didn’t even know what was wrong?

So you took it upon yourself. Next time he came back home you stopped him in front of the bathroom.

You had begged him to tell you what was wrong. You were already a sobbing mess as he just shook his head. His eyes glistening slightly, tears threatening to flow.

“I need to take a shower…Please just move.” He told you, his voice cracking slightly. He wanted to fall into your arms and cry. He wanted to tell you everything so badly. But he already lost his family, he had to suck it up and do it for you.

He could still feel their lingering hands all over his body and all he wanted to do was just shower. Scrub away his skin and the rose scent of the capitol.

You just moved away from the door. You gathered some of your things and ran out of the front door.

You went home to your mother and didn’t tell Finnick. You figured he heard the door slam.

He did. He heard it loud and clear. He knew he had to tell you at some point. Because he was losing you. He stood in the warm shower for at least three hours, just scrubbing at his skin over and over again.

He didn’t want to have to tell you. He didn’t want to do this. He felt disgusting. He loves you so much. You trust him and he has to do this behind your back. Sell himself to the hungry capitol citizens.

He wished it was you. He wished it was just you. Every client he compares to you. The way their eyes will never be that same beautiful color that yours are, and the way they will never shine in the sunlight the way yours do.

He prays for it all to end as fast as possible, so he could go home back to you. But when he sees you it hurts. It hurts that you don’t have a clue about why he’s gone all the time, why he comes back so distraught.

So he just does what he became best at. He lies again.

He shuts you out saying he’s fine, he showers and climbs into bed falling asleep. And he repeats the cycle every time he comes back from the capitol.

Until one night.

You stayed up waiting for him. You couldn’t do it anymore. Did he find someone else? Was there someone special in the capitol? Was she prettier? Was she funnier? Did he enjoy her company more?

All those thoughts consumed you as he entered the house. The door slammed.

You knew what kind of night it was. He would just shower and ignore you completely. He wouldn’t even argue.

But you weren’t letting him do it anymore. You got up from the couch, his eyes wide as he saw you.

You looked up at him, shirt unbuttoned slightly, hair tousled and ruffled.

And then the worst of all. The marks on his neck.

That confirmed all of your suspicions. You and Finnick hadn’t done anything like that yet. He was very gentle with you and you were with him aswell. On the days where he was somewhat okay.

You just stood there, and he stood there aswell. Complete silence until your sobs and cries were filling up the room. Bouncing off of the walls.

He stepped closer and you just backed away. What else where you meant to do? You love Finnick more than anything. You were always there for him. You never ever said anything to him even when he acted like you were absolutely nothing to him.

“Please…just let me-” He tried to say before you cut him off. Before your hands, much smaller compared to his chest pushed him back.

“I’m not letting you do anything anymore!” You screamed out through your sobs. You could barely breathe. The anger and sadness all combined into one practically controlling you.

It had been a very long night of fighting. You kept going back and forth and he still didn’t give you a reasonable explanation. You were sure every resident of the victors village heard you two. He still wasn’t giving you any answers.

Finnick was about to crack, but he couldn’t. It was safer if you didn’t know. He just sat there letting you yell at him. What else could he do? You were right about everthing anyway.

That is until you got up and left.

You couldn’t do it anymore. The silence was eating you alive, so you ran out of the house and ran to the beach you and Finnick loved so much as kids.

You needed to be as far as possible from the victors village and one certain victor.

Finnick. The man you love, your Finnick. Had supposedly found someone better.

Was that what he wanted? Did he need more from you? Was what you were giving not enough?

One again your thoughts consumed you, you barely even realized that you were crying once again and also barely noticed the strong arms that had embraced you.

Finnick.

He followed you to the beach because he had to tell you. It was time. He couldn’t keep you in the dark anymore, it would only drive you further away from him.

“President Snow is selling me.” He blurted out. He didn’t even try to sugarcoat it. It was the harsh truth, and saying it out loud while holding the girl he loves in his arms truly made it sound even worse.

You looked up at him mouth agape. At first it took you a moment to register what he just said. Selling him? And then it hit you.

The bruises you noticed over the past few months, the marks on his neck.

All you could do was gasp. You cupped his face as gently as possible as now his tears were flowing like you’ve never seen before.

You held him that night, at the beach, at home and in bed. He told you everything.

You felt sick.

Not because you were disgusted by him, but because you were disgusted by what your supposedly great leader of Panem was doing to the man you love. He was ruining him.

He told you all about the victors trade. Each information he gave you broke your heart more. And when he finished it was just little bits and pieces left. It felt as if somebody stabbed you.

“I never wanted to do any of this…I only wanted to stay..I only wanted you.” He said his head was on your chest and you were playing with his hair.

“I know, I know.” You assured him kissing his head gently but passionately.

All he had ever done was for you. Every little thing. From helping you carry your shells home to selling himself just to ensure your safety. You were beyond grateful.

You promised him that you would never judge him, that you would hold him forever.

And that you did.

Each night when he came back you were there to hold him, help him scrub his skin, spray your vanilla perfume he loved so much all over the house and him to get rid of the smell of roses that lingered on his body and clothes.

You took care of him. You always would. It was him and you against the world. Against the awful and unfair world you lived in.

But your love was stronger. Strong enough to overcome the capitol. Snow couldn’t break you.

Even if he wanted to, you would always find your way back to each other.

And now holding him in bed as he finally calmed down, it felt as if it was just you and Finnick in the world.

Just you and your victor.

❛ ━━━━━━・❪🐚❫ ・ ━━━━━━━━━━ ❜

HI GUYSSS!!! I hope you like this one i’m not so sure how I feel about it…

BUT ANYWAYS thank you @coca-lastic for the idea and I hope you like it!!!

Thank you for reading my previous post and thank you so much for all of the reposts and likes it means a lot 💝

#finnick x reader #finnick fanfic #finnick imagine #finnick odair #finnick odair angst #finnick odair fluff #finnick x y/n #finnick x you #hunger games finnick #thg finnick #hunger games #thg series #thg #thg fanfiction

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