#and generally feeling blah and not moving as much

[coffeegnomee]

All About You

This is about to be the most meta analysis post of my life, but something that has fascinated me the most about lifesteal recently: chat is the 38th member.

As a live stream story, lifesteal is always going to be affected by the live audience, the streamer reading messages, talking back and forth, sometimes doing what chat wants. This is the streamer-chat dynamic. It's natural, it's part of the story.

But something that has fascinated me particularly since season 4, particularly post zam's break s5, and Particularly in s6 since I've started interacting on tumblr, is just how much chat influences the lore and how much we influence each other.

At each of these moments there was a shift in the PrinceZam streamer-chat dynamic.

Season 4 was a lot of anti-lore chatters. People who blah blah blah'ed it up whenever Zam went into a spiral about what he should do. It heightened the feeling of isolation and confusion, especially as some chatters (shoutout van) tried to gently encourage zam in his decision making, giving counter points to the negativity. Unfortunately it often just lead to more confusion as chat was split 50/50 on almost every decision.

In season 5, after the break, there was a reset of the mod team to the team we have now (knowing most of you are here potentially reading this is weird.) These were the best chatters of s4, the ones who became highly invested in Eclipse, and lifesteal in general, and Zam in particular.

In season 5 the hivemind of the mod team getting excited about lore was hilarious to watch. Half the team reprimanded backseating of the rest of the mod team (shoutout meep), the other half lored it up (shoutout chips), everyone loved it. 'Credit to the artist' was born as direct quotes from chat made it into the character.

Read that again: Direct Quotes From Chat Made It Into The Character.

That is weird.

No longer was it simply the mind of PrinceZam forming the character of Zam, as we watched and reacted, but chat itself became an integral part of the lore (these are his amends. make him repent) forming and shaping it, right alongside Zam, into what that season became.

In particular the conversations as the Joker (specifically the Jumper yap in your president doesn't care about you) brought out comparison after comparison to past seasons of princezam as chatters brought up and compared jumper to zam season 3. This sparked a huge renaissance of past season analysis of Zam which became heavily integrated into the final months of the server, with zam to minute, with minute bringing up his own inspiration of season 3 zam, and with zam musing about how each character approaches what past seasons mean to them (concluding, iirc, that they remember it but it doesn't matter to them. tell that to s6 zam lol).

In season 6 the dynamic has shifted again. Credit to the artist has died down, usually in favor of admitting he's reading a suggestion from chat, but the back and forth conversation, reading out specific messages, from often the same few people (shoutout arch and van and citrus (hi citrus)) has flourished more than ever (also shoutout the new chatters. there's been a turnover again and a lot of new names who are consistently affecting the lore)

Right at the end of season 5 I began interacting on lstumblr and writing and reading posts. It came from the end of season conversation about The Mering essay, Barrier Blocks: a breakdown of lifesteal in 22k words about season 4 and conflict. It wasn't the first time that essay and the story of Eclipse Federation was brought up and analyzed on stream as Zam encountered head on that his darkest time on lifesteal was the defacto fan favorite story of the server.

The analysis of the chatters was being shared with the streamer and therefore, the character. These were the seeds of thinking deeply about his actions in s4 and s5 and how he actually felt about them and not just moving on and forgetting.

And then something else started happening. Maybe it happened often before, and I was just not aware of it; I do remember a few times in s5 the mod team referencing and asking zam questions about his character that they had talked about or mused over between each other on discord. So it was happening to some extent, but particularly since starting to hear your opinions and analysis about the story on tumblr, I'm seeing a new trend in s6.

The fandom stream snipe:

When someone in chat innocently brings up something I damn well know was talked about on here just the day before.

Some analysis about a previous stream. Some wishful musing about interactions we hope to see. A tidbit about a previous stream that was unresolved.

And it changes the lore just as much as Planet is known to change the lore by talking to Zam.

The two instances that got me really thinking about chat being the 38th member were recent:

After 4c betrayed there was of course a lot of discussion and the general consensus was the we would love to see another 4c and zam conversation. Especially after 4c gave kab the disc, and zam did the short confrontation of him with derap. Multiple people, I mean it was on everyone's mind, wanted another interaction.

And when the timing was good, chat struck. Or should I say, van cooked. After Zam wrote signs about kab and wondered what to do about his interactions with her, someone mentioned 4c, and the door was opened to talk about what we were all wondering about. Van delivered, nearly single handedly driving the conversation towards talking to 4c, musing that it felt unresolved. When zam got distracted by demi talking about his base, van brought the discussion back around to 4c and the rest of chat started cooking too, innocently encouraging a second conversation. And Zam /msged 4c to talk.

It would not have happened without chat.

The second was yesterday: talking about Leo potentially being a mole. I had analysis, I know zy had analysis, I think others did as well. But until chat started bringing up fandom analysis, zam and derap were not sus of Leo in the slightest. Zam was only partially suspicious about Mapicc wanting to kill Flame, but he only thought of it in terms of letting Mapicc down.

And it got me thinking; at what point are we stream sniping ourselves? It's not really stream sniping (though the 4c one gets very close) because it's based on our own analysis, and usually just based on zam's streams, or doesn't include knowledge that isn't known.

But that Leo analysis was lifesteal spoiler walled. It was, by default, something that was kept hidden from lifestealers on tumblr (though less for zam and more for anyone else), though, as a theory, is it really a spoiler? But as a theory, is it really meant to be seen by the character? Unless we were a member and wanted to tell our teammate we thought something was up?

It's an interesting conundrum. Our analysis is a hivemind of hyperfixating viewers who Think about lifesteal all the time, rewatch streams, watch everyone and know how everyone is likely to be thinking and acting, breaking it down, reading each other's analysis and cultivating a deep web of theories and hopes and dreams about this lovely server of ours.

And that holds weight. All the minds of the viewers pushing together to have an affect on the server. Honorable mentions are our opinions/analysis on lskab that ran rampant in chat for that like month, and, in the opposite direction, mer's rewatch of s4 ending in a "i wish zam could talk to vitalasy again" post which plausibly reignited the deep dive thinking about that season and then culminated in this past saturday's stream!

Would PrinceZam the character ever have wanted to talk to vitalasy nearly half as much without the love of the fandom (not just mer) for eclipse federation that persists to this very moment nearly 2 years later?

We mighteswell be a member on the server asking zam to talk to someone!

Not to give us a big head.

I'm in no way criticizing these actions. I don't have an opinion either way for when it's too much. It's part of the medium to have a chat. Lifesteal would simply not be lifesteal without the audience interaction and this influence is hardly new to the story. One could say the ls story never got started until the audience cared enough about the story as story to have an opinion on where it should go.

And it's the same with the server members: they have to care about the story enough to log on and be in the story. And then they start affecting it and the story is created.

[chronicillnesscaneffoffplease]

They should invent knees that don’t hurt.

[milo-is-rambling]

Life is so weird I constantly forget I have diagnosed reasons for why I feel the way that I feel and act the way I act and struggle in the ways that I struggle and yet I will still completely forget and automatically assume I am a horrible person who never puts any effort in and I will never amount to anything like ugh I need to relax and recognize how far I’ve come

[constantfragmentation]

It's bugging me...

The inconsistencies and a lack of detail and continuity in S2. S1 was all about the tiniest details.

Don't get me wrong, the animation is gorgeous, BUT --

The underwater scene is where Jinx lets Silco go.

He was RIDDLED with bullets. Yet, not a mark on him?

Why is his damaged eye closed? I thought he didn't have an eyelid. Artistically, I think having his lifeless eyes glazed over would have been more dramatic, considering it's Silco. Nah, he just sinks like Jack to the depths of the Titanic.

How deep IS the Pilt River?? I'm assuming that's where she 'buried' him.

The whole first act is so damn rushed.

No one seems to wonder what happened to Silco? He was only the main person holding the Underground together by the strands of his pomade hair. His death is a BIG deal, yet it's glossed over. No one questioned any of it???

Sevika is just, okay, let's move on like it's another day (granted, Zaunites are probably predisposed to be like that, but that doesn't make for good storytelling if you're not letting the audience in on anything), and chatting it up with Jinx as if they just bonded. I didn't feel that happen. I like that they low-key ripped into him post mortem, because that feels natural but what got them in that room together DOESN'T.

I want to know how these characters FEEL. You got that in spades during S1. But S2 is just expecting you to assume or they would attempt to take the time to use what would be great writing and evolving these characters.

Caitlin is hurting, I get it. But she went full Commando Psycho mode. Girl, everyone has lost parents, siblings, etc... She doesn't even flinch when Vi tells her Enforcers killed BOTH her parents. She's lost a beloved sister... but Cait is affronted when Vi shirks from becoming an Enforcer. Let's just forget what PIltover did to Zaun for generations and to LOADS of people.

Vi? Oh girl. What happened to you?

Jinx is a bit better but not much. I don't buy Silco's death was a zap to the brain to chill her out a bit. She's still my Chaos Queen but unless there is something to explain some shit in the following episodes, I'm going to be really ticked at the lack of care in characterizations with who are the supposed leads in this story.

Jesus Viktor. That's it. That's all I got.

Well, I did LOL when he woke up and gave Jayce the "bye Felicia" in 2.2 seconds.

We don't get to know what Ekko is thinking since all this shit went down? As far as he knows, Jinx is dead and to learn to she bombed Piltover?

The music videos substituting for the plot are REALLY bugging me. It's lazy writing. The music was used well in S1 to ENHANCE the scene (well, except for giving Imagine Dragons an animated cameo). Here, it's used as exposition, but it's not nearly good enough.

Useless characters and side-characters. Poorly executed plot devices. Uninteresting plot devices and trying to use the S1 parallels for characterizations.

S1 took time to introduce and flesh out these characters, even the side-characters.

We only had Vander for 3 episodes but he was a HUGE character. Marcus, Mylo, Claggor, Benzo, Grayson, Finn.... all were interesting and played an important part.

Jayce continues to be blah. So I'm not bothered.

Ambessa looks to be the new villain but it's not hitting with me. Plus, there's zero foreshadowing on some stuff in her arc that would have been useful last season.

I like Mel but I'm waiting to see what happens with her.

Hermydingding going all Mission Impossible. Just stop. Does he not give two furry fucks about what happened to his fellow councilmembers and Piltover?

I feel like RIot is trying to shove way too much into one season and sacrificing good story-telling to do it.

I miss the details.

So far, I'm really underwhelmed with this season.

[lakesbian]

you know what. im going to follow my heart so we can move on with the wormread and just copy-paste what i said about danny in chapter 6.9 on discord with some minimal editing because it's not pretty but the general thesis is there and i don't feel like making it into proper paragraph form

okay so the thing thats fucking killing me abotu 6.9 is that danny is literally like. he tries to call taylor a nickname only her mom called her once he realizes he's fucked up bad and is trying to recover whichi s insane [because it's obviously going to be upsetting to her by reminding her of her mom being gone, and it also indicates that his fall-back for something going wrong w/ taylor is to try to appeal to her by poorly copying someone else's parenting style] and he also randomly tells her about how her mom wanted to move her a grade ahead but he wanted her to stay in school with emma to make her happy. and he's been Stewing On That despite knowing it's objectively not his fault (and i am reminded of how in his interlude he spends time Stewing about how he wishes annette were there to give advice) and he also cops up to the fact that that the whole thing about "being her parent and not her ally" (<- demented thing to say for obvious reasons) wherein he locks her in a room and demands emotional vulnerability from her even as she's becoming visibly upset & compares his actions to emma's was her grandmother's idea and then. here's the real kicker. once lisa shows up and prepares to take taylor away there are any number of actions a parent confident that they're doing the right thing for their child would normally do in response--not, like, Good actions, but things that a parent would be likely to pull. threatening to call the cops bc blah blah you're my daughter, wanting to speak to lisa's parents, any form of power move pulled over these two teenage girls but instead he speaks to lisa like she's an equal authority over taylor and seriously asks if she's "okay with this" (i should remind you of the concussion chapter where lisa is doing some insane power move shit over taylors dad covertly establishing herself as more competent at caring 4 her than him lmao) which is just like. it's so glaringly wildly obvious how this guy has Zero confidence in himself as a parent so he generally does nothing and then while he's doing nothing he oscillates btwn rationalizing it to himself as allowing her privacy/dignity, getting angry at himself/calling himself a coward, or getting mad at TAYLOR and blaming HER for not being the one to take initiation to be vulnerable with him and, like. he literally does make functional decisions prior to this for a bit! he's good and supportive at the meeting with the school board about the bullying!!! but it doesn't immediately solve literal years of distance between them that have led to taylor having to take decisionmaking for her wellbeing entirely into her own hands w/o being able to tell him about it [& having literally no route for human connection or support other than the undersiders] so he just completely crumbles on his own calls and seeks out/takes completely shit advice from taylor's grandma instead so i very much think what's insinuated here is like. especially given that he knows he has anger issues and never wants to Be Scary with them. he might have frequently leaned on annette for parenting decisions before she died and/or is really fucking haunted by the time(s) he didn't listen to her and it went wrong and now that she's gone he's just kinda floundering and trying to toss the baton for parental decisionmaking onto anyone else, including, at one point, the literal teenage girl who shows up to help taylor run away from his house. insane ! also. thinking about how taylor says her grandma (maternal) never liked her dad. that man would literally rather talk to the mother of his dead wife, who hates him, and take her advice than go 'yeah ithink im gonna keep using my own judgement for compassion towards my daughter' fucking worst anyones ever done it this guy has the spine of a twizzler it's great

...and then doing All That & severely triggering taylor's trauma from the bullying in the process completely shatters any trust he had built with her, catalyzing her realization that she wants to be able to have meaningful relationships with the undersiders & leading to her running away to leave with them! i don't think anyone can say for sure whether or not danny Not doing this would have led to taylor turning the undersiders in before realizing that she would regret it, but oh fucking boy does he make SURE she doesn't go thru with it. and it would be bad to call the cops on a bunch of systematically neglected traumatized teenagers regardless of how much crime they're doing so you know what maybe we should actually thank danny for his Shit Parenting stopping taylor from being a narc

[boldlybrightsun]

Jay Love Language

Jay's love language would be physical affection and Gifting/Receiving gifts.

He is clingy. Read it again.

He will not shy away to shower you with physical affection.

Hugs, kisses, cuddles, rubs, pats, etc. He will attempt all forms of physical affection available on this planet.

He is the type of person who cannot keep his hands off his partner. He feels very happy and safe when he has one arm around you and even just toucing you in general. He can actually become really sad and very grief-stricken if he cannot touch you. (Yes he will legit start mourning if he cannot meet you or be with you)

Gifting and receiving gifts is so important to him!

It doesn't have to be expensive and most of the time it isn't. I apologize to all the Sugar Daddy Jay lovers lmao.

He will definitely spend on you but only if you're his wife or if he is really serious about the relationship.

Do not expect that treatment in the initial stages of the relationship is all I'm saying. Moving on..

The type of gifts he loves to give would be something special for you and you only like composing a song for you, writing a poem or drawing something. Basically anything creative.

He genuinely prefers that you do the same and give him something really personal. Remember that Taurus sign is ruled by Venus and Venus not only stands for material stuff but art too.

Now, I'm not saying he wouldn't prefer material stuff, he definitely would, but he is someone who knows exactly what he wants if you're trying to impress him with material stuff I bid you good luck. Unless you really know what he likes personally it might actually be really hard to please him in terms of gifts.

He is the type to share his food with you and take you out to places he deems worthy enough for you to visit. He wouldn't let his s/o eat at just some place and would do thorough analysis on whether you would like this place or not. He is one of those people who always says stuff like "Wow this place is nice I'm going to bring my s/o here" much to the dismay of the other members who came with there lol.

Elaborating more on the above point, he cannot shut up about you for the love of God. My s/o did this, went there and looked like this, blah blah. Will not shut up to other people about you. Your biggest supporter.

Though he might not agree, he is very good at consoling people when it is required. If you want him to answer what would he do if you became a worm, sorry, he will say he'll throw you out.

Jay Love Language MTL

Physical Affection == Giving / Receiving Gifts

Quality Time == Acts of Service

Words of Affirmation

[piillow]

xdinary heroes as your lab partner

(hs acquaintance xh x reader)

wc : ??? | genre : short imagines, sorta silly | a/n : i still suck at science im so sorry, these were literally done in class so they're all bad

( •̀ ω •́ )✧

GUNIL 건일 -

will definitely somewhat take charge, but isn't stopping you from doing anything

like he'll be all "okay so we gotta do blah blah blah" but if you're like "but we have to do this first" he's like "oh okay"

does that make sense ???

would joke around and laugh at a scenario where something goes wrong, but is genuinely hoping it doesn't happen (especially if chemicals are involved)

lowkey praying it doesnt happen if im being honest 💀

would let you do all the work if he has no clue what he's doing

if you don't know what you're doing, you're both screwed ...

would help you with the lab report, even if you don't need any help

"y/n it's just in case, trust" (LMAOO)

JUNGSU 정수 -

loves working with you and thinks you two work well together!!

doesn't try to get up all in your face especially if you're hyper-focused on the current task at hand

would lowkey rather be doing the lab report, but if he has to do the actual lab, he will (he has to anyway)

since he doesn't want to do it, he's basically your little "assistant"

grabbing any beakers or other supplies you need, yk stuff like that

so yeah, you're the one doing most of the work (sorry)

i feel like he might fall asleep if he gets really bored ?? lmao ??

idk i just see it tho

anyways, he'll still enjoy the outcomes you "both" make, especially if it refutes your hypothesis !! :D

GAON 가온 -

our favorite science boy omg

he's gonna do anything you don't want to do

dissections? cleaning? he'll do it because he dgaf. it's for science. that's like, his brand.

would make a lab report draft (that he didn't have to do???) and let you check it over (HELLO???)

alllways making sure you're both wearing/following the proper safety precautions

"y/n, don't touch anything without wearing gloves!" or "put some goggles on first"

i could sob 20 rivers omg 😭😭😭

will always listen to anything you have to say, whether it be feedback or smth

will also write it down if you both agree it sounds important!!

ODE 오드 -

will constantly ask if you're okay if you show a little bit of worry if something happens

if you back up a little too quickly... "omg are you okay?" OHHH MY GOD WHAT IF I CRIED 😭

he will also make sure you don't inhale anything that'll damage your lungs, or just you in general

same goes with touching stuff ^

he is also going to be very stingy if you miss a step, even if it's fine

"we can skip this par-" "no we can't, follow the instructions y/n!"

so you can expect him to take the actual thing very seriously

which he does (thankfully)

still! it will be good i promise he wouldn't mess anything up

but let's be real he's very observant so idt he will

JUNHAN 준한 -

he probably won't talk toooo much

but he's defo gonna help you out

he's usually writing down any observations he sees, and makes sure he doesn't miss anything

especially if he can add it to the lab report if your hypothesis is refuted ^^

soooo intricate with every move he makes

he'll be so in the zone it's pretty crazy !!!!

especially for any type of dissection

so locked in

will be kind of upset if he messes up, but you'll help him get over that dw

if you two finish early, he'll probably chat with you while one of you works on the lab report

which he will gladly help you on if he needs to

JOOYEON 주연 -

he's definitely gonna be making jokes left and right while you two are prepping your things LMAOO

but dw he's gonna make sure he doesn't mess up anything

(he'll try his best at least..)

he might let a joke or two slide while you're both working, but it won't be too intense

definitely gonna get distracted and start talking to one of his friends

until you shut him up and get him back on task

he absolutely hates writing lab reports oh my god

"do we haaave to do this? we can just... not do it." "... no?"

but yknow, he'll help you

"i guess i'll help you... 🙄"

he'll celebrate when you two get a good grade tho!!

send requests pls </3 i'm so desperate it's not funny i fear

[gofishygo]

mito mito mito hihi 😋

i’ve been having some thoughts n i felt like sharing w the class newayssss

so i was having bubble tea earlier and i started thinking,,,,what cod characters would like it? i feel like price def wouldn’t,,simon wouldn’t mind it but he does def think its too sweet and proper tea is superior and blah blah blah (i acc don’t know im kinda divided on that like i hc him as a sweet tooth but bubble tea,,,ehhh i feel like he wouldn’t like it all that much like he’d be all grumbly about it,,, idfk

johnny and gaz i think would like it lots ,,

i also think alex wouldn’t like it abd farah would (i js like hc farah as this secret softie ok leave me alone 😞)

but THAT got me thinking,,,, what other food preferences would they have ?? i think gaz would rlly like sushi (saw a fan art of him on a sushi date w the reader and i forgot who made it but ):$/:)/&!:!!!!! it was so cute) and i also think gaz would handle spicy food well ?? and he would like seafood in general methinks (tryna think of some select seafood items he wouldn’t like but im drawing a blank bc im vegetarian shusbssjnsuen)

idrk ab simon and johnny and price,,,,,,out of them 3, i feel like simon or johnny would have the biggest sweet tooth (they’re on like completely dif ends of the spectrum character wise but shh i js know it) but they all eat A SHIT TON like the food could be burned or too salty or smth but if they’ve js come back from a mission then they’re eating that shit UP. and asking for seconds. and thirds. they would still give u food feedback if it’s some other day tho

also johnny is extremely passionate about haggis. no i have never tried it yes i js know he is ok moving on

KONIGGGG hmmmm,,,, i have no fucking idea lmao i think? a lot of german cusine involves bread and stuff,,,so……………i think he’d have rlly bland meals idk

i’ve been rlly into keegan lately but i cant come up w anything for him aaaa

also gaz would be the only one who knows how to use chopsticks. the others would learn fast being in the military and all but gaz and chopstick skills js make sense???

ANYWAY im soso sry for rambling sm lmao this is a lot of words,,,,,and this isn’t a req by any means !!! js needed to hear ur thoughts bc food is js calling to me like “ok but would blank character like this” like. urgh. ok im done now i think but yeah food preferences for cod characters of ur choice

ALSO !!! THE IOS SHARK STICKERS REMIND ME OF U,,,,,look at them$:!!;&:!3 OK IM ACC DONE NOW BYE BEY MITO HIPE U DONT FALL ASLEPE READING ALL THAT

AHHH hi weebun !! ^^ i was literally having bubble tea with my sister like a few hours ago and when i checked the inbox n saw this i BOLTED !! sorry for never responding to this, i forgot inbox existed..,

notes: shittily wrote as this as a warmup/just general yap :> sorry for messiness and incoordination.., platonic, no warnings !! unless ur lactose intolerant idk

so you'll be jus chillin w the 141 on base and then say something like "boba is absolute gas shits better than normal tea" and of course, since the majority of the taskforce is british, you get absolutely fucking jumped for it. like- keep in mind, you say this price, the NUMBER ONE TEA AND BISCUTS DEFENDER, so you do end up getting toilet duty for a week with the explanation of 'uncordial behaviour.'

but after your deployment, you are the one to arrange where the 141 meet up. it's a little ritual you guys have developed to stay connected in between missions, one that makes your friendship seem a bit more real. sometimes the only thing that keeps your eyes open and heart pumping. and since you're an absolute fucking menace, you ask if you can meet around the heart of london- and then drag them all into the nearest bubble tea store you can.

-

price... doesn't end up liking it. takes a total of two sips, nearly chokes on the pearls, and then sets the cup down. he claims he's been around long enough to know that this- like many other foods, is probably some 'trendy millennial bullshit that'll disappear in a solid few', but that doesn't help ease the insane side eye that he gets from the cashier.

but to your surprise, ghost seems somewhat okay with it. his face doesnt really change (from what you can tell- his mouth is still hidden due to some face mask he put on), but he seems neutral, relaxed, even. he mutters something along the lines of how it isn't too bad, but it doesn't beat a cuppa- to which you chose to ignore, and how he'll probably just stick to having an earl grey in the mornings. but a few months later, you catch him at the same boba store, and you cant help but giggle to yourself.

soap fucking inhales the drink. its genuinely concerning, to say the very least. he seems to like.. unhinge his jaw like some kind of snake, and then inhales the whole drink in what you think is a millisecond. and since he's the only scotsman on the team- thinks the whole 'tea n biscuits' ritual his colleagues have is utter stupidity, so not only does he now FREQUENTLY drink boba because he likes it- he also drinks out of utter spite.

gaz is the only one with a seemingly respectable opinion about boba, unfortunately. he's had it before, multiple times- it appeals to his sweet tooth and is the occasional treat after long missions. but unlike you, gaz does not value peace, and seems to keep egging soap on in chugging unreasonable amounts of the drink. (and he doesnt mention it, as he does not want to face the same punishment as you did, but he thinks that bubble tea is sometimes, just sometimes better than his cuppa.)

masterlist (some of my other stuff is better promise)

[sofixt0k]

Byler a toxic couple?

Personal opinion.

I have read throughout all my years uploading Byler content, especially on tiktok, too many comments from people who say that Byler would be a toxic partner.

That Will is very emotionally dependent on Mike...

That Mike makes Will cry all season 4...

That Will tries to hurt Mileven and harm Eleven... ( wtf💀. )

That it would be forced...

Blah blah blah.

I'll go by points.

1- Will's dependence on Mike?

I read many of these comments based on the fact that Will can be... Unstable?, When it comes to Mike.

They justify that Byler would be a bad partner since Will would be a dependent person.

But tell me, you, what would you feel if your childhood best friend slowly starts to move away?

And it has nothing to do with girlfriends, because Lucas or Dustin don't act like jerks to Will.

At no point is Will shown to be dependent on Mike in the entire series.

He's just a teenager who feels bad because him best friend is moving away.

They go on about how Will cried for Mike the whole damn season 4 when she only cried for him in the van.

(When she cried with Jonathan, it had more to do with her sexuality itself.)

They say "dependency" as if Will only wanted Mike for himself, and they go on about how the fights they both have because of this "dependency" is because Will wants Mike as a boyfriend.

Which brings me to the next point.

2- Do you fight because of jealousy?

Yes and no would be my answer, there may be a bit of jealousy in the background of the Byler arguments.

But in general the fights have NEVER been about ANYTHING romantic.

They've never been about "Will being mad because he wants Mike as a boyfriend."

All the Byler discussions have been based on the same thing:

Mike being an idiot.

I love Mike so much, but yes, it's the truth.

All the Byler discussions have been based on Mike not being able to be Eleven's boyfriend and at the same time treat Will normally, like the best friends they've always been.

Michael is simply not capable of this.

The only person who is affected by the Mileven relationship is Will. But not because of jealousy and blah blah blah.

It's because of the fact that this relationship made Mike's treatment of Will change.

It only changed with Will.

3- It would be forced on Mike's part.

• Mike saying that Hawkins is not the same without Will.

• Feeling that he can be the same with Will.

• He has an album full of Will's drawings and has them stuck in the basement and bedroom.

• The one who is shown to be the most concerned about Will, out of all the other boys.

• Saying that the best thing that could have happened to him was becoming his friend.

• Looking at his lips every 3 seconds.

All of this is saying what has always been said about Byler, but that toxic milevens will never understand.

Will does good to Mike.

And Mike does good to Will.

They understand each other with a look, without the need for words.

There are no secrets between them, except for the painting thing, but that's something different.

They show Mike's concern for Will different from that of the other boys.

If they end up being a couple, it would be the most normal thing in the world, it wouldn't be forced, or it would become toxic.

They are friends, they love each other, the relationship wouldn't be out of the blue or rushed.

When they have fights, they talk about it, they ask for forgiveness, things get better.

Byler wouldn't be toxic in any way.

And when milevens understand that, society will advance.

[moonlightblueandicegrey]

My thoughts about b!Jay and Jay in general

I know that all the bizarro ninja are dangerous villains. But what about B!Jay specifically?

Let me explain why i think that he could be the most dangerous one:

Humans:

In my au and in my opinion, Jay himself is a little bit misunderstood and kinda underestimated by the people in Ninjago.

From my experience, i noticed that humans have this weird habit to be impressed by muscles and physical strength although it is known that someone can be dangerous and "strong" without the physical strength.

In my Ninjago headcanons:

My headcanons for Jay is that he looks "weaker" than he is. Jay is a skinny boy, without many visible muscles, and he is the cutest and shortest out of his team. Sadly, people see that as a weakness although none of those things means that Jay is weak. Jay is not weak. Okay, we must admit that Jay's "greatest ability" isn't physical strength, (as it is for Cole for example), but Jay has some other abilities that might become even more dangerous than physical strength under certain circumstances. An example is speed. My headcanon is that Jay is the fastest out of the ninja. But even now, speed isn't the main reason why i think of Jay (and in the next step: B!Jay) as the most dangerous.

Their way of thinking:

In my opinion, Jay's mind is what makes him as dangerous as i think he is. Because the other three ninja act like this:

Kai: He is strong and brave. But he is so brave and prideful that he becomes reckless. Yes, he'll go straight into battle and he'd rather die fighting than surrender. He'll fight to his last breath to protect the people he loves but this can be a mistake sometimes. Kai protects by becoming a "sword". He protects by attacking his enemy. Face to face battle even if you know you'll lose isn't the best choice. Sometimes you'll have to surrender in a battle if you want to win a war. (Yes, Gryffindor vibes if you are also a harry potter fan).

Cole: He isn't as reckless as Kai but his physical strength is messing with his mind sometimes. It gives him the feeling of winning but sometimes it's incorrect. Cole will surrender though but only if it's absolutely needed and if there is no other choice. He will fight to protect his loved ones but he will protect by becoming a "shield". He won't attack. He'll just fight back/dodge.

Zane: He has the potential to follow Jay's steps. But there's one problem. Zane is fair and honest. Although he won't start a battle that he can't win, his fairness and honesty will keep him a few steps back. Zane fights in the right place and in the right moment, when he is ready to do it and goes for a straight win (except if he has no choice but to fight earlier). He is not reckless and he plans his moves before going to battle. The problem is his ethic. He wants to win fair and with honesty, following the rules of a "τίμια μάχη" ("fair/honest/honourable battle").

Jay's way of thinking:

And here comes Jay: He is brave but he isn't reckless. He seems scared all the time but he isn't a coward. He'll fight when the time comes, but he just wants to save his skin. Jay will fight to protect if it's needed but he'll mostly fight for revenge (after the bad thing is done. Examples: Skybound, Prime Empire and Seabound). He doesn't give a fuck about such things like "fair battles" and "honour", "honesty" blah, blah. He just does whatever it takes to win or take what he wants no matter if his sneaky ways are unethical. Jay isn't the one who will throw himself into battle. He isn't the predictable one that you'll see coming to attack you from miles away. He is the type of guy that you won't even notice how he stabbed your back. And that my friend is much more dangerous than physical strength.

How's b!Jay related to that?

The question is, why does Jay use this thing only in specific occasions (like in skybound)? Because Jay is a hero. Jay has a good heart. He avoids using his unethical, sneaky ways to win and he just follows the rest of the team and the plans that the others make. Our kid tries hard, give him some credit for it.

Does b!Jay have this kind of problem though? No. Of course not. He'll just do it. Because he can. Because he doesn't care about being good. So imagine how powerful he could be if he only had a second chance in Ninjago... He could be a nightmare.

And i haven't seen dragon rising yet but i wish they could use Jay's potential now that he is villain. He could be great!

What do you think?

[ganondoodle]

(idk if anyone wants to keep hearing my opinions on totk book stuff but-)

apparently it says that rauru DID have kids, multiple even, which yeah... is kinda necessary for zelda to even be connected to them so much so that sonia can SENSE a blood connection (which, even with all the excuses with magic, is just a little too far for me to suspend my disbelief bc its over, OVER, ten thousand years worth of generations that seperate her from them that one lil touch of the hand can sense that (feels more like an attempt to make you care about them or .. see them as zeldas "better" parents just bc they exchange a few nice words, i never got the feeling they were 'better' parents and its also kinda disrespectful to her actual parents, like sure rhoam wasnt the best but i wouldnt call rauru better just bc he was polite)- i could see maybe the light power of hylia or sth but since its the coolest dude that ever lived rauru now that had it which still doesnt make sense and makes me unreasonably annoyed and she can sense BOTH of their powers in her? nah) the fact theres NOTHING about them in the game itself is just so ... no way they planned any of this

i dont think theres anything they can do or say that wont make be believe they either

are making it up alla 'fix it in post' mentality trying to hastily explain stuff the game never bothers to do to try and appease fans or let it appear as if they thought about it at all

something went really REALLY wrong during development, which kinda seems likely given how the game turned out (im sorry i cannot let go, its not just the writing, the game design too and how little was changed in the map while being so damn expensive, i dont know how people dont feel scammed q_q)

given that they (allegedly) spent the last entire year of development on polish (where??? where????? huh??? like it would make it more understandable (EXCEPT for the price) if there was alot of trouble, which was also bc it got delayed and ... turned out like this, but they dont want to say it, especially given their reputation, with that quote i have heard way too many times 'a delayed game blah blah') i just??

are they just gonna go and do it like they did with kashiwa (kass)? "they uuuh where flying around the whole time ony cool sonau tech maschines, you just dont see or hear from them ooooorrr they were uuuuh out of the country at the time" (sending invitations to other continents to join their glorious kingdom ;) )

(bet they are also gonna say they did all the stuff like ... moving the shrines around (lol?) and lifting the islands up into the sky- which is still weird bc ... didnt they also say they were living in the sky before coming to the surface?? so where?? did they park all their islands on the surface and the mystery kids had the keys so they had to repark them back into the sky after they returned off camera?? xD also why are the islands so different as an environment if they where from the surface? like even the STONE up there is different- and if they were first in the sky then on the surface and the nback in the sky .. why is there not a single yellow tree or grass in the past- you cant really argue that it changed bc they were up there so long bc .. nothing else changed, the suddendly and totally always there sonau buildings are largely in prime condition, only some slightly moldy, and what we see of the glorious past looks barely any different from the present, aside from like ... some standard trees shuffled, no castle yet and that glowy uwu filter DESPITE that stupidly long time frame between it)

[50cal-fullauto-astarion]

Blah blah blah, massive jerking off motion, sugar daddy Colonel König with a f!reader!30 year old, established sugar baby doing it for a laff fic bullet point idea I've been bullshitting around with under the cut:

Again, bc y'all know me, this is just my fuckin oc dressed up as a reader but yknow what whatever. It’s my maladaptive daydream and I’m generalizing enough to share it.

You’re a doctor of organic chemistry, working in pharmaceutical forensics at a lab that largely deals with multinational jurisdiction drug offenses for various state agencies. The work pays pretty well, as it’s government scale, but it is dull and repetitive.

To get your kicks, you sugar baby casually on a semi-regular to regular basis. It suits you. You’ve never established a meaningful long term relationship, flings come easily to you, and older would-be romancers have always taken interest in you in ways that people from your own age bracket haven’t.

Sex or no, it all depends on who is approaching you, the decision ultimately yours.

And they don’t have to provide monetarily, no. You’re well established, more than that even. Once they understand that aspect of you, they shift their approach, and that’s when the fun starts.

Gifts, trips, concerts, dinners—whatever you want, all of it a discreet text away.

None of your entanglements last terribly long. You’re off-putting, in your way, your mannerisms, your directness. Most of your paramours find that it doesn’t click for them. If you’re having sex, it doesn’t matter how mind blowing it is—usually for your partner, though you’ve had the occasional winner—one way or another it ends. And you have been the one to end it, especially when you feel it growing strained and pointed toward what services you provide your temp partners. You’re no stranger to the sudden and surgical cut.

One such situation leads a Colonel to a spot at your feet.

One of the dudes who wandered into your carousel was Declan O’Conor, of KorTac. He’d been intrigued by your intensity at first, and the sex was some of the best he’d ever had, though you thought he lacked skills in foreplay. He was generally brusque however, and tended to ignore the trade of attention and gifts in favor of his desires, which left you cold and unimpressed.

gonna be real, i left off here like two days ago, and i'm 2 hours into my last work day before my weekend, so i'm not bothering with extra detail, we're wheelin' and dealin' now, lads.

a certain colonel gets a hold of your email through declan, a nanosecond before you dump declan's ass. the timing? immaculate. the colonel could not have done better. isn't he fucking lucky.

he's heard declan bragging about his new bird. she's smart, she's discreet, she fucks like a succubus. she doesn't even want money, or a relationship. shit, she doesn't even care if you're married or have kids, she wants no part of your real life. she just wants fun and stimulation.

well. ain't that just what the colonel is looking for, he lies to himself. könig is almost half convinced you're an escort dressed up as a woman looking for a good time, but what the fuck does he know. and from what he's gathered, the way people approach you is myriad, but you're picky as for how long things go on.

he's drowned at work, has no desire to go bar crawling or trying to pick up a dumbass hobby to try and meet someone, and he, if he's honest with himself, does not have the time to dedicate to an actual relationship, is mildly horrified at the idea of using an app to date, and is approaching his mid 40s. his work is too demanding, he travels too much, he's too burnt out. fun sounds fun.

he shoots off the email.

what he gets in return: "interesting that o'conor seems to be recommending me around, as that's not part of the agreement. but i'll meet you. tell me when you're next in berlin, and we'll set a date. should it cross your mind, bring me something interesting."

smth smth, time moves on, you end up meeting up with him for dinner. he insisted. he knew a place. you hoped like hell it wasn't some overblown officer's club. that shit was always dead boring and full of the most disgusting braggadocio you've heard in your life. testosterone beating off against testosterone, trying to find out which one nuts first.

but, nah. he hauls you to a korean bbq joint that's a real down and dirty hole in the wall, and immediately you're impressed. the food is amazing. it's quiet. he is ENORMOUS, but has an air of cinders about him.

you can tell he used to run off rage, almost solely. it must've burned down over the years, or his fuel had taken a hit that it could never recover from. he's tired. he's looking for ease.

he wears a gaiter covering the bottom half of his face and neck, and you find it curious as the dinner starts, your booth in the far back, away from prying eyes.

thought it was for your comfort. he'd already spoken of your discretion, that he was well aware, and interested in the same. his position in his org is high up, he works with sensitive info, his clearance is big time spooky. things you're familiar with from your own work.

he calls his work security, and you call your own science. it is enough.

he warns you about his facial scarring before the meal begins, giving you the choice to avoid seeing him eat, and you turn down that offer. "i can assure you that i've seen worse," you say, confident, unshaken at what he might be hiding. your history is a darkness, it runs deep, and ruin is not unfamiliar to you.

he seems pleased, or at least mollified, and pulls down the gaiter. the lower half of his face is a wreckage, almost at odds with the wheat colored curls - all shot through with silvery-gray - tied into a tail at the base of his skull, and the blue of his bag-bruised eyes. a botched cleft lip surgery, exposing big, fuck-around-find-out teeth in a scar that leaves him always snarling. rippling burn scars crawling up from his ravaged neck, pulling at the corner of his eye.

at least he will eat, if nothing else.

it is one of the rare times he will allow you to see this.

at the end of the meal, after some good conversation, dancing light around heavy realities, secrets that can't be told, you sit back and watch him with curiosity-heavy eyes, a contentedly full stomach, the foot of your crossed leg hovering in the air between you under the table.

he's pulled his gaiter back up, peeling euro bills off a fat clip he pulls from his pocket, dropping them on the table, overpaying the meal. perhaps the privacy. perhaps the server. perhaps the flash of it.

"i didn't forget," he laughs, voice still higher than you'd expected, but rasping and rough as gravel churning mud and blood.

"apologies. i'm impatient. it is my nature."

"hah. have that in common, then, hm?" he laughs, going for another pocket.

usually, you expect jewelry on the first date. it hasn't been uncommon with the people you run with. perhaps even technology. you were afforded an iphone 14 pro max a month before they'd even come out, but you'd held onto it and resold it later.

and this fascinating könig pulls out a box, as well. you almost feel your stomach sink. you'd been hoping...well. it doesn't matter what you'd hope. and maybe it was foolish to harbor a small, chittering desire that he'd be different, after the turns your conversations took.

he plunks it down on the table in front of you, rapping two long, powerful fingers on the plain lid. it's not even that impressive of packaging. oh, your stomach churns with impending disappointment. sometimes these men end up cheap. you steel yourself, falling into your resolve.

a fossilized horse tooth is what is presented to you when you open the package, as well as a business card for a fossil and crystal dealer. you catch sight of a beaded bracelet on his wrist, carnelians.

"didn't know what sort of science you're in, but figured i couldn't go wrong with a fossil. or a horse. you have horse girl energy."

he's smirking. you tip your head back and cackle, mind flooded with your years on your school's equitation team and the summers you spent trekking across continents with your grandmother by horseback.

the energy shifts perfectly, and you pull your head down, beaming at him. running the toe of your heels up his calf under the table, you roll the fossil-black tooth between your fingers, following the grooves, feeling the age. this horse would've been about nine when it died. not bad for a wild thing. most of them didn't find the miracles of old age.

"what gave it away? the posture?"

"oh ja. jawohl. it's the posture. even leaned back, sit like you're setting your ass in a saddle."

"mhm. sounds like you've done some riding yourself."

"when i was younger, yes. half-sway-backed plow nag, though. nothing so fancy as what people might picture, with the accent."

"not everyone can afford warmbloods, it is true."

you fold the tooth into your closed hand, silence falling comfortable between you. and here it is.

"i think we should find a place for the night, don't you?" you ask, and you can see his mouth pull into a smirk under the mask.

"hah. good thing i thought ahead then. i booked a room--some place nice. you'll like it." his confidence would be off-putting. it should be off-putting. but it isn't. it's almost a relief. it's definitely a turn on. he's not feeling out your approval, at least not visibly.

you were both looking for fun. and perhaps you've found it. at the very least, he is not treating this as a fight to be won. maybe he would not've been crushed or vitriolic if the night ended with nothing further, ever again. you don't know. you let him help you into your coat, and into a cab, and you find your flesh-ripping want yelling louder and louder with his arm draped casually across the back of the seat behind you.

and good christ, does can he fuck.

okidoke, i'm cutting this one here, sry. i will probably continue it more formally (? idk) later once i've worked on some other stuff, but i wanted to get this one out, yeehaw. hope u enjoyed!

[kamjkaze]

Cal n Andre Halloween hcs to match the season 🎃🦇👻

Since Andre’s family is Jewish, growing up he was never allowed to celebrate Halloween. Any time that he would ask, his mother would lament about how they should have never moved to America where Halloween is so widely celebrated and so massively popular. Then, of course, she would scold him for wanting to do things that promote witchcraft, blah blah blah. Though, I imagine Andre’s father feeling a little bad and perhaps slipping the poor boy some (confirmed kosher) candy.

This idea, that Halloween was A. Not celebrated all over the planet and B. Was seen as “promoting witchcraft” by some was so outlandish to a young Cal.

I think one year, before the pair were old enough to nix the idea of trick or treating all together, probably the last year Cal himself would do it (in the desperate pursuit of cool), Andre would go with him. It was like his final gate into being completely American. Dressing up, probably as something edgy, grabbing a pillow case, and walking around neighborhoods begging for candy.

It’s ironic though, Andre didn’t really have any reason to go out and do it cause, at this age I think he lost his sweet tooth already. Though, it makes more for Cal, I think he has a shameful sweet tooth.

It’s a good memory for the both of them tho, Andre remembers coming back to the Gabriel family home and dumping out all his candy to sift through it. Cal’s siblings were in awe at the amount of candy they pulled in as a team. Their numbers in comparison were pathetic on account of Mrs. Gabriel demanding the kids come in earlier.

I think mrs Gabriel really enjoys helping her kids make costumes, whatever her kids demand she will supply. When cal was old enough to start asking for his own costume ideas, he always went as scary as he could. Blood drenched hair, big teeth, gashes, weapons. Whatever Cal’s mind could conjure as “the scariest costume ever” from the ages of 9 to 15.

Of course, that’s all as younger teens and children, as older boys, they do different things.

Call gets invited to the occasional party, usually on a good word by Rachel, and he attends for the most part. Always dipping out a little sooner than general populous but having a good time nonetheless. Usually he departs from these to go to Andres and comfort him about being the more socially ostracized out of the pair.

They’ll try to find some gorey ass snuff film to watch, get drunk, and steal some of the kids candy for Cal. I think they even get as “willing to have fun” as carving pumpkins, the results of those vary in level of skill and level of freakiness.

A cute idea is that one year, while they were too old to trick or treat but young enough to have some bones not made out of hate, they would bring Cal’s younger siblings into the basement for a little “haunted house” fun. Basically where Andre and Cal scared the shit out of them as much as possible. Be it, screaming in their face, grabbing them, whispering a spooookkkyyyy story before pouncing. If you go digging, there’s probably an old tape of it, Mrs. Gabriel will cherish that tape, that moment of innocence, of fun. I imagine there are many home videos like that, that she’ll watch on late nights after the tragedy.

[userlando]

Currently thinking about how THICK landos neck is omg it’s just perfection the things I want to do to it

Imagine giving bsf lando a massage after a little shunt on the track and he’s letting out the unholiest of sounds which have you literally squirming and trying not to whimper and keep your cool yourself

Maybe one evening you’re just a bit sad and down and he pulls you onto his lap to reassure and snuggle you and wow your face just slots right into his neck and you’re just nuzzling into him whilst you get it together with lots of supportive whispers and back tickles encouraging you

One night you guys are hitting the club as a big group and pair off to do shots as a funny challenge or something which max f thinks is a brill idea, someone puts salt on his neck for you to lick off and the lime is in his mouth. With all the alcohol in his system he’s loosened up with way less filter, ending up panting and groaning as you lick his neck and then into his mouth and the EYE contact you guys have as he then has to lick the salt off your chest because EVERYONE knows that you guys are crazy about eachother but the two of you so they’re doing everything they can short of pushing you guys into eachother

Continuing with bsf or maybe even fwb lando imagine being in his lap for something like doing his brows or an innocent reason but all of a sudden there’s a massive shift and one of you finally has the guts to make a move. You’re gripping his neck to steady yourself because wow that first kiss makes you feel dizzy and can’t help yourself when you pull back for air he’s rambling that he hopes that was ok and there’s no expectation blah blah blah blah but you just can’t stop looking at his neck and you just HAVE to kiss it suck it bite it squeeze it (bop it lol) and he is squirming and almost gets too much when you find his sweet spot and he’s gripping your hips and whimpering about how good it feels and how sensitive he is there and to please not stop omg maybe cums in his pants(I love that piece you wrote with that happening omg truly my fav concept)

This man’s neck and hands are literally on my brain 24/7 I really can’t cope hope it’s ok that I’m sharing so others may now suffer lol. I can’t decide what kind of kisser I think he’d be in general?

Also I hope you’re having a great week and doing well or that things are getting better for you! I literally think re-reading most of your fics everyday will cure my covid lol just when I think I’m done for the day keep coming back for more because your writing just scratches that itch in my brain and is the best distraction

-🌻

help. MEEEEEEEEEEE. what is this!!! i'm bawling my eyes out!!

you can't tell me he's not a good kisser because that man would rock your world. he'd be all slow and deep, really tasting you and rendering you into a whimpering mess. he's the kinda man who'd gently hold your jaw/throat and kiss you so deeply that you can't help but want more. and he'll absolutely give you more and then some 😭 lord have mercy on me

thank you for re-reading my work, it warms my heart like you couldn't believe!! i hope you're feeling better now, but i'll send all my energy and love your way 🤍

[dumb-doll-lips]

Venting, got like distracted some through out so may not make the most sense.

I always feel like such an asshole about all this, I have a scheduled call with a college friend today and it’ll be like to make plans to do some in person to.

And I have like negative interest. And since she’s been back in town every time we have plans I spend the whole day stressed out and then feel bad after bc I’m like I’m horrible person for not wanting to see her and for not being able to match her energy and excitement.

I feel like I can’t even like pull away from things bc my family who tries to be more involved in my life ask about her a lot. They’ll say they’re all happy for me that she moved back and I’m like ugh.

She is like nice and sweet but like it’s just never anything I look forward too, more the opposite. I end up feeling like I have to put on an act similar to w my family, feel like I have nothing to talk about, and can’t relax. Like I def have some issues bc of my mom that I can see at play w this. But at the root of it is I feel like I can’t be myself, that I have to be some old version of me, and even if that wasn’t the case I don’t feel like there’s much in common. In therapy it gets into this whole convo about what is a friend and stuff and I don’t know if know. But this is just draining for me.

And part of what is annoying w it is how in general it’s felt like I have a much harder time talking to or feeling comfortable around other women. It feels gendered to me. And I don’t like that. In general women seem great, but like interacting w them feels a lot more like trying to play a game I don’t understand. I like how things do usually feel more transactional w men. When things don’t feel transactional, I think for me it usually feels like like draining and the whole interaction is like me trying to keep the status quo and disrupt anything or make anyone less then happy (which like def something I picked up doing bc of my mom). Like that’s not nice for me at all. W something feel more transactional I feel like i get to be a little more selfish and actually push for things I want more.

Idk. This has just been bothering me for a whileee and today I decided to ramble. I really liked it more when daddy issues seemed more to be my thing. Mom issues suck more imo. Like part of why girls are draining and harder to talk is because I feel more pressure to understand them, bc I have big memories of interpreting things wrong w my mom and getting yelled and really insulted. W guys I think I feel like not understanding each other sometimes makes more sense and I don’t have to worry about being called like a selfish bitch or something. And that’s just like one example.

Blah. Def not going well w how I also don’t feel that good.

[icannotpickanamewtf]

The Day The Music Died (Part Two)

(PART ONE)

Possessive!Spot x femSpider!Reader & Possessive!Miguel x femSpider!Reader

Summary: Spot looks for you + you are not up for chatting. Things happen. Shit goes down.

Warnings: Cursing/Sexual themes. Angst. Dark!Spot. Maladaptive behavior.

From that day on, your very first customer, was guess who?

The fucking weirdo.

Every morning he’d come in and pull the same shit. 

Saying to open the register, the he was going to rob you, that he was going to hurt you, blah blah blah.

You honestly could not find it funnier. 

But he had a little complex about your teasing, so just to ensure the safety of the Parkers, you kept it down to a minimum. 

Which wasn’t that helpful.

Part of you even looked forward to his little dramatic entry, he reminded you of a puppy. 

It was a morning like any other, Peter in the back, Mr. Parker in his office, and you dealing with an inter dimensional supervillain that seemed hellbent on terrorizing you. 

This time, you felt a bit more generous with others so you kept your snark under control a little. You loved the fall weather that broke out in New York during September. Especially that you could dress in comfy long-sleeved sweaters. Man-made heat was the fucking dream.

“Why can’t you just let me rob you!” Spot seemed to rely on whining a lot more nowadays. 

“‘Cause that’s not as fun.” You always had a straight face and harsh tone, and you could tell that Spot had adapted to your absence of emotion. 

“Please! Please, just let me rob you this once!” 

You stayed silent as you looked at him in a daze. Spot’s confidence seemed to have increased as he got much <em>much</em> closer to you over the time he decided to target your little shop. 

Now he towered over you as he leaned over the counter. 

Was it bad that you kinda liked his height?

His weirdness was definitely rubbing off on you. 

But it made you feel something at the very least.

“Coffee? Yes or No.”

You had never bothered to ask with his constant banter, but like you said earlier, you were feeling generous. 

Spot seemed a bit flustered at your question and stuttered a bit before finally finding his words again. 

“Oh–Oh! Yes! Absolutely yes! I used to love coffee, more than tea really…Well…the thing is…I–I guess I liked it with two creams and one sugar? Four shots of espresso. Whipped cream too.” He leaned over the display as you turned your back to him to make a coffee. 

“Are you–Are you making me coffee?”

You only gave a soft noise before continuing on with your work. Soon enough, you held his exact order in your hand. 

“Shut up, please.” You thrusted the coffee into his hand, letting him wrap his hands around your right hand that held his coffee. 

Spots large palms engulfed yours completely, but for real. Like you literally could not see a bare centimeter of your hand underneath his. 

He seemed to notice with how he lingered with both of his hands onto of yours. You could even say he seemed enraptured and pleased with this new found discovery. 

“I can’t move my hand. Let go.” You were still as straightforward as always.

If he had a face, you would bet it would definitely be blushing. 

“My bad! Sorry..uh…was thinking about–villain things.” He was totally lying. 

“Yeah. Sure.” 

Spot still seemed out of his element. “Hey…I don’t have any money I can’t–“ 

“I wasn’t expecting you to pay. Don’t.” You couldn’t care less. Really. 

“Oh. Oh, thanks.” Spot relaxed and took a sip of his coffee, 

or more like poured it into his face hole. 

He made a moan to indicate how good it tasted. 

That--was…uhm…a surprise. 

Spot didn’t even realize the effect or what that noise sounded like and just kept telling you thank you between sips of coffee. 

“Don’t drink too fast. You’ll get sick to your stomach.” You weren’t worried, but you didn’t want to have to deal with radioactive–or whatever the fuck he was made out of–throw up on the floor. 

He nodded shyly as he slowed down to enjoy his coffee more. 

“Seriously…thank you. This–This is the first time anyone has…” Spot trailed off as he whispered thanks <em>again.</em>

You knew what he was going to say, so you didn’t let him finish. 

“Ok.” That was enough talking and being open for today. 

“I’m sorry for trying to rob you all this time. Would you–Do you…Do you maybe want to–“ 

Nope. Nope, you were not going to do this. You were feeling generous and this is what you get. Of–fucking–course. 

The bell chimed behind him, causing him to freeze mid sentence. 

Thank god for that annoying door for once. 

“Bye.” 

“Well! Wait–I was thinking–“ 

You literally just stepped back and pretended to check on Peter in the kitchen. You did not want to deal with--with whatever this was.

When you peaked over to see if Spot was still there, you only saw the new customer examining the muffins that lined up behind the glass. 

Walking back out, you looked at the countertop and saw a tiny folded up napkin. A note.

Nope. Nope.

You threw it out before you could think twice. 

–––––––––

The next day, when you groggily woke up from your totally amazing sleep last night--

about three hours at best,

you immediately noticed the heatwave that dripped through your body followed by an unreasonable amount of exhaustion. 

Oh, a breakdown and a cold. 

Yay.

You groaned as you rolled off the safety of your bed and picked up your phone. You called Mr. Parker. 

Mr. Parker said your name softly over the phone as you grunted out a brief hello and a quick explanation to why you weren’t coming into work, saying you were on your period. 

These…lapses…always made you more snappy and sad. Way too sad to deal with customer service.

So, you would prefer to keep your sanity and lock up inside. 

Mr. Parker was more than understanding and you could hear him shouting for Peter to man the counter for the day while he offered to work in the kitchen.   

You ended the call before he could even say goodbye and flopped back into your bed. You forgot all about Spot when your head hit the pillow and the soft fabric of your silk pajama top chilled your scalding heat.  

—————-

Spot walked into Collin’s Coffee. This time, he was going to ask her. Nothing could stop him. Hell, he was a supervillain.

What if she was secretly horrified with how he looked and just didn’t tell him?

No! She was obviously fine with that. She didn’t even flinch when he attempted to rob her for the first time a few months ago. 

Should he be concerned about that?

Too late, since he was already turning the familiar knob to enter the whimsical shop. Spot had to duck in order to fit through the door due to his height. His distorted size was one of his big stand-out features.

Your hand beneath his, covered by the pale expanse of his skin. Clutched around a coffee made for him. He could feel your small knuckles and rough callouses from being burnt from coffee machines. They were soft, natural. They felt perfect in his.

Spot looked up and almost immediately threw out his same old greeting. Expecting to see your dead-faced glare. 

Your lips looked soft, plump. He wondered what it would feel like to touch them. What it would feel like to have them on him. You always were honest and spoke to the point. What did you look like flustered? Would you shake under him? Would you hold him? Would you--

You weren’t there. 

Some kid with brown hair stood in your spot, eyes wide and jaw unhinged as he stared at Spot. 

What?

“Who are you?–“

“What are you?–“ They both said at the same time. 

It was the echoing silence that followed that left pinpricks in his skin(?). Where were you? 

“Where is she?” Spot asked after a few moments of awkward staring. 

“Are you talking about–“

Spot was starting to panic. Who was this kid? Where were you?

“Yes. Where is she.” Static started to seep into his voice and boom throughout the tiny coffee shop. 

“Woah! She’s–She’s at home!” The boy clutched the counter as waves of energy swamped him. 

“Write down her address, please.” Did that sound creepy? Maybe…but Spot needed to know that you were okay. 

You were the only normal, constant, thing in his life left. This was completely reasonable.

“What? No! You–“ The boy, or his name tag said Peter, began to object.

”Now. Address.” Spot started to leer over Peter, intimidating him with the pure strength he held behind his voice. 

Peter hastily scribbled down your house number and handed it over with shaky palms. Spot just took it from him and used a portal to travel to the door of your apartment. 

Hopefully you were alright. 

He could take care of you if you weren’t. 

This was him caring after his…well…his….

You never told him what you guys were. 

Friend?

Yeah. Friends. Like a partner in crime. 

———————

A few knocks racked your wooden door, causing you to wake up for the second time that day. 

You were not in the mood to walk the whole six feet to the front door. So you didn’t.

“–Hello? I’m coming in!” 

Was that…was that Spot?

Before you could even stop him, a black dot appeared in front of your bed and out came Spot. 

“Oh! There you are! You weren’t at work so I–“

Your pajamas consisted of a baby blue silk short-sleeved Macy’s pajama top and skimpy white lace panties that were decorated with Lillies of the valley. 

You weren’t even wearing a fucking bra. 

“Spot. I’m on my period. Relax and shut up. Leave.” You were too exhausted to even question how he knew your address.

“But do you need anything? I could–“

“I am half naked.”

This seemed to snap Spot out of his 'nanny mode' and into his 'flustered grown man mode.' But he didn’t even have the audacity to pretend to look away. 

“Oh! Oh…my bad, sorry. Yep--very sorry.” After looking at you for a bit too long of a time after you admitted your current state, he turned his whole body away from you. 

“Get out of my house. Bye.” Sure, it was a little meaner than you intended, but you genuinely were starting to get a headache. 

“No.”

“What?” You were stunned. 

What did he just say? 

Spot the blushing virgin, 

Spot the failed robber, 

the same Spot that wrung his hands together when you tease him said–

 no?

“I said no.”

Huh. So he grew some balls. But just not at the right fucking time.

“Did you not hear me. I said get the fuck out.” You allowed yourself to be a little more mean. You were starting to get annoyed. 

“You're annoying me. Leave.” 

“No. You are sick. I can take care of you. Just–“ Spot tried to reason with you, even approaching the bed that you laid on. 

“Come near me and I’ll sock you in the face.” You were done being nice. You hated being 'sick.' 

You especially hated it when others saw you 'sick.' 

You were vulnerable when you were 'sick.'

Spot wasn't having it. “Just let me help. I can get you some soup–like chicken noodle or something?”

Shut up.

“I’m vegetarian.”

Please just leave me alone.

“Then vegetable soup! I can steal some soup from the–“

Shut up.

“Don’t.”

Shut. The fuck. Up. 

“It’ll be super easy, I can just teleport–“

“Shut up. Please.” You were so confused. Why was he so adamant on this?

“Just go home.” You flipped so you no longer faced him and closed your eyes. Ignoring the problem always made it go away. 

It was silent.

Fucking finally. 

But weirdly enough, when the echo of silence fell over your room like a weighted blanket, it felt like a stone landed in your gut. 

You felt…guilty. 

Taglist: @arachnagirl--spidergirl