#having weird vibes recently I think partially bc Millie and I talked about moving in together in the future and she’s more ready than I am | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

milo-is-rambling · 1 year ago

Text

Life is so weird I constantly forget I have diagnosed reasons for why I feel the way that I feel and act the way I act and struggle in the ways that I struggle and yet I will still completely forget and automatically assume I am a horrible person who never puts any effort in and I will never amount to anything like ugh I need to relax and recognize how far I’ve come

#having weird vibes recently I think partially bc Millie and I talked about moving in together in the future and she’s more ready than I am #and it’s made my brain all weird about growing up again cause I’ve kind of just been floating through life assuming everything is fake and #will stay the same forever and this is just what life is now even tho I know rationally the future will change one day I’ll move out etc etc #but I’d rather not think about so I don’t and then when I do remember it takes a lot of mental energy to shove it back down into my brain #so I can function day to day and not freak out over everything forever #blah blah blah grief is eating me alive I’m afraid of death as a general concept while also not living my own life etc etc #you get it I feel like I’m already dead and no one can really convince me that any of this matters bc it’s all fake and my dad is dead and #I’ll die sometime too and none of this will have mattered in the grand scheme of things and I’m struggling so much right now and I know it’s #just a rough patch and it’s not even that rough but it’s just like my brain won’t stop thinking about how my dad was here and now he isn’t #and he’s never coming back and one day everyone I love will die hahahaha yeah you know you get the vibe ugh okay bye #let’s kill this bowl and take a dab and try to pass out

1 note · View note