#and fucking hilarious imo

[melloneah]

WHY CANT I WRITE FIC IN 2 LANGUAGES AT A TIME????? there’s a polish phrase i wanna put in it SO DESPERATELY and i find it so funny but……no direct translation 💔💔💔

[extreme-neutral]

managed to make it not spoilery, but so vague I'm not sure how many people who played the path will understand...

May be it will intrigue others enough to try it..? wink-wink

[llumimoon]

Introducing a very important side character and the big bad villain in the EAH au!!!!

Nicky being a bunny rabbit is ABSOLUTELY a running gag in the story btw Lark is fucking fuming and beefing with what appears to be just a normal ass bnuuy and its so funny. its SO funny.

Willy does play the role of the previous Evil Queen before Scary so here he is imprisoned his Magic (Doodler) Mirror that he will totaaaallly stay trapped in. mhm. definitely will not trick someone into breaking him out. (I am lying he definitely gets out)

A small section of the Nicky Bunny Rabbit Saga btw:

Also new Wonderlandian development lead to this

(AU by @rindomness, @kaseyskat, & I!)

Image description under the cut !!

[ID: Image 1: Ever After High AU Nicky Close posed with one hand up holding a pocket watch and the other hand hesitantly raised by his waist. He is labeled with the text ‘The White Rabbit’ and there is a word bubble that says ‘can transform into a bunny!’ And an arrow pointing to a white bunny in the bottom left of the image. The bunny has a pink bow and two piercing on an ear that match the piercings on Nicky’s bunny ears on his humanoid form. His humanoid form is wearing a light blue striped tailcoat with a white shirt underneath with the sleeves rolled up and a pink bow. He has large white gloves with pink toe beans on them and dirty white pants with various white belts and buckles and pink and blue knee patches and a pink sash belt with a bow on the left side. The pants are tucked into blue and pink buckled boots with white rabbit feet sticking out at the ends. He has three extra pocket watches on a belt loop and the pocket watch in his hand is open to show the time and a locket picture on the other side of Sparrow Oak dressed as Snow White.

Image 2: An ornate mirror is in the center of the image. The frame of the mirror is made up of intricate black swirls reflecting purple, blue, and red light from around it. The mirror has four eye shaped gems, the biggest one being a red eye at the top and the other gems being smaller and about the same size on the left, right, and bottom of the mirror. The gems are emitting a glow corresponding to their color. The glass of the mirror is shattered and is giving off a purple glow. Willy Stampler dressed as the Evil Queen is smirking and is trapped inside the mirror with his eyes glowing purple. The mirror is surrounded by purple particles and sparkles.

Image 3: A discord screenshot of messages in a server between ‘rin (doodler gender)’, ‘hero enthusiast (cal)’, ‘sparrow enjoyer’, and ‘hermie apologist (silver)’. Rin says ‘POTENTIALLY WEEKS!’ And ‘lark at some point going is this actually nicky. Is this actually nicky or am I legitimately just beefing with a real rabbit this wonderland kid picked up. did i fool myself’ then Cal and Nyx (who is ‘sparrow enjoyer’) both send keysmashes and Cal says ‘is this nicky or is this some random bunny who hates me specifically’ then Rin sends 'EXACTLY' and Silver sends ‘LMAO’ and Rin sends ‘did i piss off some other bunny-related person. what is this. what is happening. The exact opposite of nicky forgetting he could go rabbit mode when he first started keeping an eye on the kids for sparrow is him staying bunny mode MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH LONGER THAN IS NECESSARY OR REALLY USEFUL’

Image 4: A doodle of EAH AU Taylor ‘s head with bunny ears and an excited smile in red next to EAH AU Hermie’s head with a mischievous sharp teeth grin and cat ears in pink. The top of the image says ‘Update:’ while under the sketches Taylor is labeled ‘half white rabbit’ and Hermie is labeled ‘half cheshire cat’. /end ID]

[gallifreyanhotfive]

Reason #100000 Why I Love Vislor Turlough

[drbtinglecannon]

The plot of Scott Pilgrim Takes Off is actually better than original plot, by a large margin

[jasontoddsno1simp]

Stop trying to make Jason feel bad for Titans Tower!! That man got other shit to deal with!!

Namely, the fact that his so called father figure wants him dead!!

[mirohtron]

the villain jumped at the sound of a twig snapping.

and then, immediately, felt faint. they pressed their palm to the bleeding wound on their side and tried to pay no mind to the white-hot pain, instead focusing on where the sound had come--from the bushes of this park, long forgotten by the city, along with this little neighbourhood. they peered, blinked hazily. light played from a dim little lamppost onto a figure, a pair of eyes peering back.

oh, how close the villain was to home. and yet, look at how close danger was to them. they drew their knife from their boot with a shaking, blood-slicked hand. they willed their voice not to shake as the lamppost flickered. "out," they called. "now."

from the bushes came a soft gasp, and then rustling. it wouldn't be smart to throw their knife at whoever was there and hope it landed on the target. the villain found themselves considering that option either way.

this park was unkempt, uncared for, the grass going up to their knees. this was where teenagers came to smoke or have unhygienic trysts. the trees, old and heavy with their branches and planted too close, formed canopies. benches lay half-covered in weeds and moss. the lampposts were dim, flickering, with weak bulbs and creaky poles. this was not the best place to fight, especially considering their state. going to the blocks would be much safer.

the villain forced themselves to step away from the rusty lamppost they'd been leaning on and winced when it creaked. they kept their eyes trained on the bushes. they stepped backwards and closer to the gates, knife before them. they ignored every terrible ache in their body, gritted their teeth.

they heard a pained groan. tilted their head to the side.

out, with impossible speed, came something red. the villain could barely comprehend it before a human-shaped weight partially slammed them against one of the stone pillars lining the metal fence, and their shoulder went white with bruising pain when corded muscle hit one of the anti-climb metal spikes. oh, this was so uncomfortable. the corner of the pillar dug into their muscle.

suddenly their entire skin stung, and the villain's body contracted and jumped at a spike of electricity. their vision was hazy, and then quickly the weight shifted, and an annoyingly high nasal voice screeched in their ear.

"oh my god! oh my god, shit, i'm so sorry, i--"

the villain groaned, starting to slide down, but hands caught them by their sides and forced them to lean against the pillar. they blinked spots out of their vision, and a pair of worried, flickering amber-yellow eyes came into their view, along with a nose, slightly bruised, taped with white medical tape.

ah. that explained the terrible voice.

"i'm so sorry," said the person who had slammed them into a fence at light speed. the villain could barely think, barely manage another groan. "holy shit, you're bleeding. i mean, i knew you were bleeding, but not so much--"

no shit, sherlock, the villain wanted to say. but they were stung with another bout of electricity. the speedster yelped and let go, allowing the villain to sink into the knee-high grass. they kneeled and pushed grass away from the villain's body. where did their knife go?

amber-yellow electricity flickered around the speedster's body. the villain glanced up and now saw brown eyes, the amber gone.

"you..." they said, and wanted to hiss it, but ended up sounding just croaky.

"i'm sorry, i don't know how to control it yet," the speedster said, speaking swiftly. but it was unnatural; they enunciated each word properly, but their tongue seemed to move unnaturally fast, like a sped up recording. "i don't know anyone who can help me except you, i mean, you have powers too, right?"

no. the villain merely faked that with tech. but they nodded either way, because they didn't trust themselves to have the mind to omit vital information should they explain that right now.

"so you're not here to kill me," they said in a croaky voice. nonetheless, it sounded pretty all right.

"no! no, i just--i don't trust those heroes."

the villain laughed at that, and then hissed when it sent pain to their side. "good kiddo."

the speedster hovered their hands over the villain's wound, awkward, unsure of what to do, but still eager to help. "i'm not a kid." the speedster said.

"think you'll shock me again?" the villain asked, ignoring the speedster.

"n-no? it only happens when i'm nervous."

"do i make you nervous?"

the speedster frowned. "i dunno, do you like getting electrocuted?"

that almost made the villain laugh again, but instead they just settled for a grin. they held out their bloody hand. "get me up."

the speedster pulled their arm around their neck. "ew," they complained, queasy about the sticky blood. but they lifted the villain up and apologised when the villain groaned and led them out of the park.

"tell me about your powers," the villain said, so that they'd have a distraction from their pain.

relief spread over the speedster's face, like they'd been eager to share their story. "oh, it was a mess how i got it. i, like, visited the rich part of the city for a university interview. i got lost, and, like, i had money. i thought i'd get something to ease up, you know?"

the villain chuckled and bit down on the pain that bloomed from it. the speedster huffed but righted their body and went on. their voice fluctuated between nasal and normal, like they were putting care to incorporate their stomach into their breathing.

"so i walked into this shady place. fuck, dude, it was this horribly surveillanced lab. i touched something i shouldn't have—i didn't even need weed to be that stupid!—and spilled some chemicals i didn't know about. it was raining that day too, and, like, it blew out the electricity. i stumbled into something, turned something on. i got shocked so hard that i should've died, but i woke up surrounded by these scary, suited-up people. and i got scared, and i started, like, vibrating and electrocuting these guys. i saw a window to escape, so i ran. i ran back home. slammed into a couple walls on the way." they pointed to their broken, bandaged nose. "i don't know how to control this."

for the first time, the villain peered more closely into their face and saw how badly their nose had been taken care of. there was too much stuffing in one nostril, too little in the other. it was not going to heal in a straight line. "i can tell."

the speedster moved their face back, and the villain's knees gave out at yet another electrical shock, pulling the speedster down with them. they gasped.

"i'm so sorry!"

"s'fine." the villain gasped. "you got a medkit at your place?"

"uh-huh."

"take me there."

the speedster blinked. "are you sure?"

"yes."

"aren't you scared i'll hurt you?"

"scared you'll do it on accident."

the speedster frowned, but they lugged the villain on.

their place was small, the paint slightly cracked. outside, their complex appeared run down, the balconies rusted and old, graffiti at the entrance and more on the walls which bordered the complex. but the speedster had made their apartment look as cozy as possible, with warm lights and little trinkets and large posters of bands and movies and television shows plastered to the wall.

"it's not much," the speedster said as they came out of the bathroom, medkit and damp towel in hand. they handed the towl to the villain, who cleaned off the blood from their face and hands.

"it's cute," said the villain. the speedster's twin-sized bed, on which the villain sat, was beside the window that led to one of the balconies, slide up to allow cold night air in. not all buildings in this part of the city had balconies, and for the ones that did, they were too old to safely stand on. the villain noted that the speedster's balcony was tipped slightly downwards.

the speedster placed the medkit down beside their desk, and the villain pulled it towards their body, opening it and pulling out the hydrogen peroxide. the villain eyed their torn suit and their wound and sighed and pulled the top off, neck first so it wouldn't stretch unnecessarily.

electricity flickered, and the villain looked up to see the speedster decidedly not looking at them, standing awkwardly. they smiled. "i don't make you nervous, you said?"

"didn't say shit."

the villain directed their smile to the bottle and pulled out the cotton, wetting it. they hissed as they dabbed at the wound. the speedster shifted on their feet. "how long since you've had these powers?"

"...three days."

"hm."

"what?"

the villain took out the gauze and bandage with one hand and made a come hither motion with the other. the speedster bent to their level, and the villain ripped off their bandage.

"ah!" the speedster yelped, jumping back in a flash of electricity, covering their nose. they glared up at the villain, eyes amber-yellow, electricity in their pupils. "what the hell, man!"

"look at your nose," the villain murmured. "it's getting better already." that bruising from earlier was completely gone.

the speedster blinked, removing the cotton from their nostrils, half-bloody. they breathed in through their nose. "holy shit."

the villain raised their eyebrows. "super healing. electricity. super speed." they leaned back on an arm, tilting their head. "aren't you something."

the speedster pinched their nose. "it only aches."

"come here."

at that the speedster's attention came to them again. they stood straight, eyes accusing. "don't do something like that again."

"it's nothing like that." the villain gestured towards them with the gauze and bandage. "dress my wound."

the speedster blinked once more, but they came to the villain's side and kneeled, happy to help, and obediently dressed the wound.

the villain looked down at them with dark eyes, legs spread. "how eager you are," they murmured, "to get between my thighs."

the speedster made a flustered noise and flashed with electricity, prepared to run back, but this time the villain was fast enough to yank them onto bed. the speedster yelped, cheeks red. the villain came close. the speedster scooted back.

"uhm," the speedster said, wide-eyed. their hair was floating up now, static electricity buzzing around their body. the villain felt the hair on their arms rise, but they pushed forward regardless. "aren't you worried i'll, like, shock you?"

"aren't you worried," the villain murmured, and placed a hand on their heaving chest, "that i'll do bad things to you? i'm a villain, after all."

the speedster made a funny noise. "like--" they cleared their throat. "like what?"

the villain leaned in, breath brushing delicately against the shell of their ear. "like this," they whispered, and shoved the speedster out onto the balcony.

the speedster yelped, and then sat up, looking at them in shock.

the balcony creaked on rusted hinges. the villain yanked the window down just as the speedster moved to climb back inside.

they stared at the villain in hopeless dread.

the balcony gave. the speedster plunged. and then the balcony underneath their's fell under their weight, and so on and so forth, a horrible cacophony of rusted, creaking metal giving way over and over again, the result of the city's municipality forgetting this run-down neighbourhood.

when there was no more sound the villain opened the window and peered down to look at the speedster lying in bloody metal. they groaned like a wounded animal.

in the low light of the streetlights the villain watched the speedster's body heal, the bones mending, the skin stitching itself.

delicately, they perched their chin over their palm. "i'll help," they said. "but i'll help as bad guys do. and if i ask for favours, consider it a chance to pay off this debt." they checked their nails idly, and picked at the grime underneath. god, this new development was making them feel better already.

the speedster wailed.

"don't worry, darling!" they called. "i'll fashion a nice suit for you as a gift." wound and aching body forgotten, they fished out one of the speedster's clothes and tugged it on, and headed down to help their new...sidekick? apprentice? whatever the speedster had just become to them, the villain was glad they were their problem to handle.

this was going to be one hell of a ride.

[lottieurl]

so very tired of HOT TAKES that are like yellowjackets isn't about cannibalism and in fact i do not want more cannibalism to happen because it's actually about trauma and the adults trying to move on from it <3 like okay quick tell me about the trauma you speak of without mentioning the cannibalism. next! what particular scene is about them moving on that's not ALSO about them failing at moving on from it. is it taissa's vegetarianism? is it taissa beheading her pet? is it shauna killing her lover and cutting up his body? is it lottie recreating the cult they formed in the wilderness? is it travis dying because he wanted to communicate with the wilderness decades later? is it them all taking part in that very same ritual they created back then that ends in death this time as well and that ALWAYS ENDED IN CANNIBALISM BEFORE? lets not rush through this lets be very thorough. genuinely what is the obsession with "it's not about cannibalism ACTUALLY" takes about every show or book or movie where the core of the plot is indeed cannibalism. like at that point what does it mean for a show or a movie or a book to be about cannibalism? does it mean there is absolutely NOTHING else going on? and i mean it literally because

so i guess the entirety of it has to be someone nameless chewing on human flesh with absolutely NOTHING else even mentioned or else it's not about cannibalism according to online critics. oh you can find a deeper symbolic meaning in the cannibalism? so it's not about cannibalism. why are you so afraid of admitting that yes among other things it's about cannibalism. why are you willing to talk about how Actually it's about trauma but ignore the way literally all of that trauma is tied to cannibalism. AND YES IT CAN ALWAYS BE ABOUT CAPITALISM OR ABOUT POSSESSIVE RELATIONSHIPS OR ABOUT MEAT INDUSTRY OR ABOUT GRIEF OR OR OR. does not change the fact that it's cannibalism does it?

[zhongli-lover-69]

feeling insane abt javert again.

he is a fascinating character to analyze + compare against valjean + is such an interesting personification of the faults of the french legal system, of the way lawfulness can become twisted when not tempered by mercy. dedication to the flawed human construct of justice versus dedication to the religious concept of mercy + forgiveness.

but. more importantly: javert is fucking hilarious. his sense of humor is so dry + off-putting. he takes himself so seriously but his comments are so jarringly silly. i adore my fucked up little plot device of a man.

[hydrangeyes]

I really do love how the fandom has their ship but man do I wanna see a bit more of the rivals to codependent to lovers route more

[randomnameless]

Something that really bothers me about the rose coloured glasses vis a vis tellius and fe fans (ESPECIALLY from 3h fans who learned about tellius later) is that many like soren purely because of his main ship (i mean i like ikesoren too but come the fuck on) and jokingly characterise soren as a stereotypical nasty mean limp wristed sarcastic gay man instead of a deeply flawed branded angry at the world and definitely trauma bonded to ike, but micaiah is still absolutely getting raked over the coals over the blood pact and not being ike’s fangirl

Well,

Jokes often involve flanderisation, so Soren being flanderised to oblivion when people joke about him isn't something I really care about, but maybe that's because I'm not really fond of Soren to begin with lol

What annoys me more is when some people try to rationalise Soren's anger and backstory by either pointing at Almedha or Deghinsea being responsible for everything, and I'm like, what.the.fuck?

Almedha's just, idk, I won't call it sexism, but damn - that woman loves her son who is the only reason why she hasn't completely lost her mind over 1/losing her powers 2/being casted away like trash by her "BF" 3/being rejected by her dad 4/thinking her brother was tortured and abused to death because of her actions 5/being separated from her beloved child.

Deghinsea being "uwu bad bcs he's the reason why brandeds are rejected by both beorcs and laguz" is another take I really am not fond of, and iirc I wrote a post earlier this year about it? But to some people who buy the "Crusts BaD" as the reason why Fodlan sucks, I guess they need to have someone to name and pill all of the world's nonsense rather than, well, in Tellius' case, realise that the worldbulding and the lore really sucks, to the point where the duology touted as the most "against racism" of the franchise, is pretty much way more racist than anything Tru Piss can throw us (yes, because in Tru Piss we have characters rejecting coexistence, in Tellius, it's the world mechanics - whenever a Beorc and a Laguz coexist too much, the Laguz dies...).

As for Miccy,

Just like, imo, Soren gains some "new" attention and "uwu excuses for why he's being a snarky jerk at times", Miccy used to be bashed when FE10 was released (with all the Mary Sue accusation being thrown around!) because she was written to be a sort of foil/antagonist to Ike, and when the party reunited, she was demoted to a "soul-jar" role, let it be regarding the greater plot, or, even, her own backstory!

TBH, for people who didn't play FE10, if Ike is the bestest thing since melted cheese, Miccy, who opposes him, must be BaD and so you can pile everything you don't like on her, hoping to see it stick.

Or even worse, I've seen posts here and there comparing Miccy to Supreme Leader and how misunderstood uwu she is, which is the worst insult poor Miccy ever received since FE10 came out rofl

[velvetjune]

judging people who played alan wake 2 solely on if they loved the musical sequence or not

[transxfiles]

so SO funny how the entire narrative is trying to push misty to get together with walter. like he is clearly at least kinda crushing on her and the directors are paralleling them and the writing is trying to push them together. meanwhile misty keeps going "i would like to see nat again please. stop talking to me." walter looks at misty with big eyes like PLEASE we only need ONE hotel room RIGHT and misty says, "two hotel rooms. i would like a separate one. yeah put it under a separate name. freak." and leaves him in the dust.

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

i started writing up a short bullet point highlight reel of Reasons Five is Gay-Coded and it is now thousands of words long and still going fsjdndmdl

[sage-nebula]

Tbh, I think it's kind of a waste that the flickies were dropped from Tails' super form in later games. Like I just kind of find it hilarious that while Sonic, Shadow, and arguably even Knuckles go Super Saiyan when they go super, Tails goes Super Disney Princess and summons birds that attack whoever tries to mess with him. I just think it's really funny.

[kittoforos]

a lot of Posts floating around now about chatgpt in college, lxds. some things people are saying are true of course, but I work in at a large public university in the usa and I will set aside my cool laissez faire tech accelerationist cynicism to be totally honest for a moment:

the argument that ‘essay writing is a super specific skill that doesn’t matter in professional life so you should disregard those courses and just cheat to get the degree’ is very concerning to me, even as someone who doesn’t give a fuck about cheating per se, bc we don’t teach ‘essay writing’ in reading comprehension courses. or at least decent instructors don’t. I don’t. all that stuff about it being a cultural code is like, true above basic courses (so like, in grad school and even advanced undergrad courses yes it’s about *how* you write with all the attendant bullshit) but in that kind of remedial textual reasoning class in undergrad that’s required to get the basic ba degree, *nobody* writes in the prestige cultural style. the task in question is to be able to parse text and understand and construct logical arguments, and to be able to tell when an argument has something wrong with it, and to explain this clearly to other people. which you will need all the time forever in this hashtag society no matter what your job is, so you can tell when institutions are taking you for a ride. so like. …. :/