#and for the future got one clip a week or so before airing and then the day before airing as well i think

[welcometogrouchland]

Was contemplating whether or not to rewatch the specials before watching and dreaming comes out and then I remembered that the last time I watched thanks to them and for the future was...(checks notes) 20 days ago (KEEP IN MIND I'VE ALREADY SEEN THE SPECIALS AT LEAST 4 OTHER TIMES) I think it's safe to say that. I Do Not Need To Do That

[dearestaussiechannie]

♡ Welcome home, Sweetheart ♡ — Bang Chan

word count: 1.9k

paring: Chan x reader

genre: fluff

warnings: afab!reader, Idol!Chan, established relationship, pet names towards reader/Chan, if I missed anything or if there are any typos please lmk!

Authors note: this was all inspired by a clip I saw on Instagram of Chan looking out into the crowd and it made my heart do sooo maaannyyy cartwheels its crazy. I hope you all enjoy this little story, I did write it while half asleep so its not exactly the greatest.

Chan really wanted you to come to one of their shows in Korea but you tell him that you can’t because you have to travel to visit some family. Sadly it’s extremely rushed and you’ll be gone for two weeks. Even though he’s disheartened by the news, he knows how much your family means to you so he sees you off to the airport. You don’t tell him where exactly it is that you’re going to visit family or that it’s all a really big surprise for him. 

“By the time I get back home, you’ll be out on tour right?” You ask him, holding his hand tightly while adjusting your hat. You can hear his slight whine as he nods his head, still sad you can’t be with him for the Korea leg of the tour. 

“Mhm.. I think we’ll be in Australia by then. Think Felix and I are gonna see our families.” He says softly, voice slightly muffled by his mask. You look into his eyes, noticing the slightest bit of excitement hidden in those deep browns. You rub his shoulder before nodding. 

“Make sure you tell your mom I miss her and get my shirt back from Hannah. I’ll let you kn-“ you’re cut off by the intercom announcing that your flight is now boarding. You’re a bit sad that your goodbye is getting cut short but you know it’ll be so worth it when you see him next. You both quickly hug, as tight as you can possibly hold each other, before bumping noses through your masks. “I’ll see you sooner than you think sweetheart.” You say in a rush, waving as you hurry to your gate. 

You’ve slept most of the plane ride to Australia, cuddled up in Chans hoodie and the knotted blanket he got you for your birthday. Once you’ve landed, you walk out to see the two people you were most excited to see holding up a sign that says “Welcome to Australia, future Mrs. Bang!” And you couldn’t contain your laugh as you ran to them. Who is it you ask? Chans parents.

You rush to them with your bags, hugging both of them very tight since you haven’t gotten to see them in awhile. His family always makes you feel so welcomed and loved, it really shows where he got all of his caring traits from. After exchanging hellos, his dad takes your bags before you can argue, hurrying to the doors “don’t stop me! He would do the same!” He yells back to you and Chans mom, making you both laugh as you lock arms and walk out. 

The air is so fresh and warm, enjoying the car ride back to their home with the windows down. Once you’re there, you’re met by a barking sound. “Berry!” You say before dropping down to her level and giving her all kinds of scratches and love. “You’d think Chris was home with how excited she was.” You hear a familiar voice say. “Hey to you too Hannah.” You say with a smile as you look up at her from your crouched spot, standing up and engulfing her in a hug. 

Now, as excited as you were to spend time with his family, you still had to set everything up. The days fly by as you kept getting everything ready, texting back and forth with Chan when he isn't too busy. Growing more and more impatient as the days pass, wanting nothing more than to be in his arms again.

Finally it’s the day you’d been waiting for. Their first show in Australia. His parents help you get his room back to the way it was and put your things into the spare room closet so that he wouldn’t see it when he got there since Chan always comes home first before the shows. You hurry into town to find something nice to wear that’ll help you blend in but also stand out. After finding everything you want, you take everything to the hotel room you’d rented for the night even though you know you won’t be staying there. 

The time flies by as you get ready, first taking a couple pictures in a dinner dress to convince Chan that you’re gonna be at dinner with family since you know you’re gonna get pictures of him later in his show outfit. But you quickly change and do your hair, makeup, and everything else you need to do while tucking your vip badge into your clear backpack and pulling out your phone to see that you’ve received a message. 

“It feels so nice to be back! Remind me to plan a vacation here for us soon.”

“It’s not a vacation if you’re from here Christopher.”

You can’t help but laugh at your response, putting the phone back into your pocket and rushing to the stadium. Once you’re there, you talk to people in line, listening to them ramble about the members that you’re so lucky to call your friends, hearing them discuss who their biases are and even how they plan to ask for that members hand in marriage. You now believe first hand that STAY is just something different and you can definitely tell why they mean so much to the boys.

Concert time. You’ve got a standing room quite close to the stage, your poster currently tucked under you as you sift through the SKZOO group chat you’re in with the boys just to see if they’ve said anything about the show when suddenly your phone goes off. It’s a text from Chan, “something about this show makes me nervous. I think you’ve been gone too long, come back into my arms.”

Again, you laugh out loud before closing the text, opening a different chat to Changbin, sending him a picture of the stage “keep a secret?” You type before pressing send. “YAAAHHH!! Whose show is this?! Someone else is having a concert today?!” He responds quite quickly before he calls you. “How dare you not come see us instead?” He says in that fake serious tone. “Binnie, this is your show. Don’t tell anyone but I’m here and that picture I sent you shows you where I am just in case Chan doesn’t find me you can point him in the right direction.”

“Wait. You're here in Australia and Chan doesn’t even know?!” He yells through the phone but before you can shush him, you hear a soft voice that's all too familiar to your ears. “Who's here that I don't know about?” Chan says as he moves closer to the phone. Your breath gets caught in your chest and you hope with everything in your body that Changbin can somehow save this without ruining your surprise. “Ah hyung, you remember my sister right? You're her bias and she's more excited to see you than me.” He says as his voice slightly shakes, you can tell he's nervous about lying but would Chan even believe this lie? Why would Changbins sister suddenly be in Australia?

“Ah, I didn't know your family was coming, Changbin. Maybe you could have seen them before the show started.” Chan replies, voice moving further away from the phone now. You can hear Changbin sigh before you shake your head, laughing on your side of the phone. “Great job, Bin. Now you better keep this secret or else.” You say quickly before ending the call. The show should be starting soon, making your nerves even worse but why were you so nervous? You see this man every day and you always go to his shows. Could it be because you've never been on this side of the stage while he performs?

Time seems to disappear as the show starts, listening to everyone scream and sing along, it's like you can feel all the love for Stray Kids from everyone and watching the boys run around and having fun while in their true element. Finally, comes your moment as the others are talking, Chan is staring out into the crowd into your area. You lift your sign, screaming his name while waving the sign a bit.

He looks around trying to see who yelled, reading the sign as best as he could before looking below it to be met by your eyes. Your face full of excitement, eyes squinted from how big your smile is, his gaze softens once he realises that it's really you. His eyes start to water, lips quivering as he sees you on this side of the stage for the first time and sees how you're having so much fun. For the rest of the show, he watches your area quite closely and can't help but smile when you're interacting with the people around, hugging people and singing your heart out with everyone.

Once the show is over, you quickly show security your backstage pass, hurrying to find Chan's family. Looking around at the staff and everyone working their asses off to make sure everything ends correctly and no one forgets anything. Suddenly you're being lifted into the air from behind causing you to squeal and grab onto the arms that wrapped around you so tightly. “Y/n!!” the voice yells, making you smile and look back. You're met by those same big eyes that found you in a sea full of people. 

“Hi Chris, you killed that show! You all did!” you say added the last part when you see all the kids piling into the room full of their guests, seeing Felix hurry to his family and the others hurrying to grab bottles of water. “Why didn't you tell me you were coming? Did you leave your family early to come?” He asks, concerned that you cut your time with family short just to see him live. “No no, she's been with her family all week.” His mother says as she walks over to hug him tightly. He hugs her back looking at her with big eyes full of confusion. “So did you just get here? You sent me a picture earlier of you getting ready for dinner.” His voice full of excitement but also with confusion. 

Even his mom can’t keep in her laugh as she looks at you, rubbing your shoulder. “You really can pick them huh?” Hannah says as she walks over and hugs Chan, “what?” is all he can say back, before you’re hugging him while his dad speaks to him. “Christopher, she's been with us this whole time. It was a surprise she started planning since you told all of us about your tour dates. We picked her up from the airport, brought her home, took care of her and helped her get everything ready. I'm sure the photo she sent you earlier was a distraction so you wouldn't worry about her.” He says as you nod, looking up at him.

“Oh my.. You did this for me?” he says as he slowly turns to look at you, eyes watering up again. “Ah ah ah don't cry love. I just wanted to surprise you here at home.” “but your sign..” “Oh that? That was your dads idea since the one he made for the airport was very similar.” He quickly pulls you closer to himself, leaning down and kissing the top of your head. “Welcome home sweetheart, I told you you’d see me sooner than you thought.” You say to him, rubbing his back softly. 

“Mhm.. welcome home as well future Mrs. Bang.”

What did the sign say you might ask? “Bang Chan! Can I be your future Mrs. Bang?” credits… his dad.

©️ dearestaussiechannie, all rights reserved.

Taglist: (to be added, comment or message me♡)

@bangchansbae

[works-of-fanfiction]

The Love of Another - Part Two || Cillian Murphy x actress!Reader

< Previous

Summary: After meeting on the set of Peaky Blinders, Cillian and Y/N struggle to keep their relationship professional.

Warnings: Swearing, cheating, angst. Some (pretty cringe) fluff at the end.

Word Count: 5.7k

 a/n: thank you so much for the lovely feedback on the first part of this! I haven’t written anything multi-part in literal years, but this was fun. some chunky sections of dialogue here, hopefully easy to follow! enjoy x 

(Paul is Paul Anderson and Sophie is Sophie Rundle (if that wasn’t obvious already). Y/N’s character in the show is not canon/replacing any of the actresses, just feel free to use your imagination and slot her in somewhere! it is yourself after all.)

“Would you rather have Tommy teach you to ride a horse, or Arthur teach you to box?” The interviewer asked, smiling at the actress in front of her. Y/N chewed the inside of her cheek, tapping her knee as she thought about her answer. “That’s a hard one, because both could end up with me on the floor!” She joked, looking past the camera at the crew who were essentially getting paid to laugh at anything she said. “I have to go with Tommy on this one. It’s probably the least dangerous! Plus, who doesn’t love watching Cillian ride those horses?” The two women laughed together before swiftly moving onto the more serious questions about Y/N’s debut in the series. “I’d have gone with Arthur.” Y/N’s husband sneered, lowering the volume on the TV. Behind him she was sat at the table, re-reading the new scripts she’d been sent and familiarising herself with the lines.

“They pay me to say stuff like that, you know.” She declared casually, not bothering to look up from the page. He turned around and watched as she scribbled down some notes, mouthing words to herself quietly.

“They pay you to brown-nose Cillian?” He scoffed, leaning on the back cushion. Dropping her pencil with a sigh, she finally looked up with raised brows.

“Yes. Just like I got paid to brown-nose every other man I’ve worked with.” She quipped sarcastically, rolling her eyes, and twirling the pencil between her fingers. She waited for him to respond, but the snarky comeback never came. A smart choice on his part.

Despite her only having met Cillian once, her husband still had this bizarre idea that they’d spent every waking moment together during filming. Y/N had become too exhausted to argue about it. Her career and her future in Peaky Blinders was a lot more important than her husband’s petty jealousy, and she certainly wasn’t going to throw away the role of a lifetime because of him.

“Y/N… Your line.” The prompter called, waving the script in the air and tapping the page with her pen.

“Oh, sorry. Can we go from the top?” Y/N asked nervously, looking around at the crew that were becoming increasingly impatient. What was supposed to be a quick and simple scene was turning into an hour of do-overs with Y/N forgetting small details on every take. “I’m really sorry everyone.” She addressed the room, some mumbling back, others just rolling their eyes and whispering among themselves.

Stepping forward off his mark, Cillian turned to the director. “I think we can pick this up next week. Don’t you?” He asked quietly, eyes flitting to Y/N and back again. “Long day…”

“Alright. We’ll set up for this scene first thing Monday morning, but I want it finished and perfect by lunchtime.” He spun in his chair, ordering everyone to go home and rest up on their rare weekend off.

Sighing, Y/N tugged at her hair, freeing it from the clips holding it tightly in place. Paul patted her shoulder sympathetically before leaving set, shaking Cillian’s hand on the way out. Cillian sat down beside her quietly, waiting for everyone else to filter out. Once the room was empty, he scooted closer, slipping his hand in hers beneath the table. “I had it, Cill, I had it.”

“I know.” He soothed, stroking her knuckles with his thumb. “I did it for my sake, not yours. This suit is itching.” He joked lightly, pulling at his collar. Looking up, she felt a smile creeping onto her face. There he was, being cheesy, always trying to cheer her up.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s gotten into me.”

“I think the guest in your trailer might have something to do with it.”

Nodding, she looked down at their hands, at Cillian’s gentle fingers dancing along her veins. She thought about her husband; how he’d travelled all this way and spent the entire afternoon waiting for her. Yet here she was, comfortable in the arms of another man, betraying him for the thousandth time.

Cillian could see the cogs turning in her head. Forgetting to blink, she stared down at the tabletop, studying the cracks in the brown paint. He squeezed her hand softly, reminding her he was still there. “What are you thinking?” He whispered.

“I have to tell him, don’t I?” She asked, not really seeking an answer. For months she’d tried to plan a way to tell him, to come out with the truth and end her marriage for good, but she just couldn’t bring herself to do it. It wasn’t something she could do over the phone, but she also couldn’t bear to see him in person. She continued to pretend everything was OK, smiling through their FaceTime calls and sending love hearts whenever she couldn’t answer. ‘Couldn’t’ meaning when she was with Cillian.

“I don’t know how I’m going to do it, or when, or where, but I know I have to. I mean, it’s been a year already, and I think I just lost track of time but then  – “

“Hey, hey.” Cillian grabbed her face gently, putting a pause to her rambling. “You don’t need to go making any grand declarations today.”

“If I leave it any longer, it’ll just make it worse.”

Y/N seemed to stare straight through him, her jaw tensing beneath his fingers. Part of him wished he could fix it for her, that he could go to her husband himself and tell him the truth to save her the burden. He feared how her husband could react, knowing he had a habit of getting jealous and suspicious whenever she got too friendly with a man. He knew he could handle it but wasn’t sure she’d be able to.

“Y/N!” A voice shouted from the entrance; it was Sophie, looking for her so she could drag her to her birthday night out. The pair separated, Cillian standing awkwardly. “There you are. Come with me, I’ve found the perfect dress for you to wear tonight!”

“I’ll leave you ladies to it.” He smiled, giving Y/N one last reassuring smile before leaving the building. The last thing Y/N wanted to do was go out, but she didn’t want the crew hating her even more after her earlier fiasco, so she dragged herself to the wardrobe department and let Sophie show her the dresses they were going to ‘borrow’ for the evening.

“A vision in red! Happy birthday, sweetheart.” Paul beamed, hugging Y/N tight as she joined the group, her husband in tow. Paul made the effort to greet him - the man lucky enough to steal Y/N’s heart - as he put it. She laughed along, the pang of guilt inside her chest doubling in size. He may’ve had occupancy of her heart once upon a time, but that space had since been filled by someone else, and that someone was currently sat in the corner looking as handsome as ever. Cillian raised his glass to her, smiling, his arm flexing in his t-shirt. She nodded back, the all-too-familiar rush of heat spreading up her neck and to her face.

It was the perfect night for it, considering the football match just a few miles down the road was keeping most of the city occupied for a couple of hours. Everyone chose to pack out the pubs, leaving the majority of the bars fairly empty and ideal for the star-studded crowd to hide out and enjoy their night. It wasn’t often they all stepped out together like this, but birthdays were an exception. 

“Drink?” Y/N’s husband asked, throwing his arm over her shoulder. Leading her to the bar, he gushed about his conversation with the Arthur Shelby, and how much of a nice guy he was. She wondered if he’d speak so highly of Cillian, or if his strange vendetta would get the better of him. “Shots for the birthday girl?”

“Oh, not yet. Let me ease myself in.” She laughed weakly, drumming her fingers on the bar.

“Not even one?”

“Why? Are you trying to get me drunk?” She raised a brow, eliciting a chuckle from him.

“Well, you always were fun after a few drinks…” He purred, leaning down to press a kiss to her cheek. She grimaced at his words, but luckily he didn’t notice as he was too busy waving at the bartender.

He ordered, yelling obnoxiously over the music. Y/N’s eyes wandered across the back of the bar as she absentmindedly bobbed her head to the song playing, mouthing some of the words. “Oh, I’ll get these.” They both turned to see Cillian standing there with his hands tucked into his pockets, a friendly smile on his face.

“It’s alright, mate. I promised I’d get the birthday girl her first drink.” Her husband’s hold on her tightened as he spoke, his fake grin wide enough to blind a man.

Y/N stood there between the two men, her heart pounding as she felt Cillian’s stare on her face. He’d had good intentions coming over, wanting to keep an eye on her, but she wished he’d stayed put at his table. She already struggled to act normal around her husband, and her lover’s presence only made things ten times more difficult.

“Perhaps some shots then? My treat?” Cillian rested his arm on the bar, catching the attention of another bartender.

“She doesn’t want – “

“Shots sound great. Thanks, Cill – ian.” She stuttered, correcting the nickname before her husband noticed. He looked down at his wife, then back at the man beside her who calmly ordered, leaning over the bar so he didn’t have to shout. Funny how she suddenly agreed to shots when he was the one paying…

Cillian passed Y/N and her husband a shot each, and they downed the drinks together. She winced as it burned her throat, sticking out her tongue as she groaned. “Tequila! Are you trying to kill me?” 

The Irishman laughed, nodding a last thank you across the bar. “Happy birthday, Y/N.” He smiled sincerely, giving her arm an affectionate squeeze. He left the bar, rejoining the cast and crew and instantly slotting himself into a conversation. She watched him fondly, almost forgetting about the man stood behind her. Stretching his arm over her shoulder, her husband placed the drink into her hand. 

She turned and took a sip. “Thank you… Wait, you didn’t take your shot?” She asked, pointing at the full glass on the bar. He shook his head, taking a swig of his beer. “Why not?”

Swallowing with a loud ‘ah’, he shrugged, his expression blank. “I figured it was a moment to be shared between the two of you. Here. Why don’t you have mine?” He slid the shot towards her, tapping the rim of the glass twice. “Go on. It’s your birthday after all.” 

“You’ve got some nerve. Can’t you go a day without starting this bloody argument?” She hissed, pushing the shot back to him. Some of it spilt over the edge, leaving a sticky sheen on the bar. “Drink it, and let’s go join my friends.” 

“I wouldn’t drink it if you paid me to.” He leaned down to her level, trying to intimidate her, but it didn’t work. She wasn’t scared of him; she just saw him as a pathetic, jealous little boy. When he behaved like this, it made her wonder why she ever felt bad for cheating on him at all. 

“Fine. You want to be a child? Then two can play that game, babe.” She spat, turning on her heels and heading towards Cillian. She slipped herself into the group between him and Sophie, linking arms with the woman on her left. “Which one of you is going to dance with me?” 

“I thought you’d never ask!” Sophie squealed, taking Y/N’s drink. “Look after this, will you?” Thrusting it into Cillian’s free hand, she then dragged Y/N into the nearest space, throwing her arms in the air and whooping to the music. They joined hands and spun around like two girls in a playground, shouting the wrong lyrics to the song and giggling uncontrollably. 

Y/N twirled around and set her sights on Cillian, beckoning him over with her finger. “I’m not dancing!” He laughed over the music, keeping a firm grip on their drinks. “I’m guarding your drink!” 

“No, go on. It’s her birthday.” Her husband goaded, appearing behind Cillian. Y/N frowned as she watched the two men speak, unable to hear what they were saying. Sophie grabbed her and spun her around, putting her back to them.

“Shouldn’t it be you dancing with her?” Cillian asked innocently, gently placing the drinks on the table. 

“Oh… I don’t think she’s my friend at the moment.” 

Watching his wife dance, he got the sense he was losing her; that she was slipping away from him and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He’d noticed how Cillian watched her, that lovesick puppy dog smile pasted on his face and eyes following her every move. He had attended many an event with her past co-stars, and none of them had ever looked at her like that. To him, Cillian was showing off, gloating that he’d lured his wife away from him. He wanted to wipe the shit-eating grin off his face if it was the last thing he ever did.

Y/N stumbled out of Sophie’s grasp, dizzily making her way back to the table. “Everything alright?” She asked, out of breath and reaching for her drink. “It’s a workout dancing with her.” 

“Don’t you worry, love. Everything’s fine. I was just talking to Cillian here about you. About the two of you, I mean.” Sniggering behind his glass, he gulped down the remainder of his beer and wiped his mouth, clearing his throat. Cillian’s face contorted in confusion, his fingers gripping the edge of the table, toes curling inside his shoes out of frustration.

“What’s he said to you?” She asked, directing her question to Cillian. He opened his mouth to speak, only to be rudely interrupted. 

“So quick to jump to his defence.” 

“We’re not doing this here.” Y/N snapped, dropping her glass with a thud. “You are not showing me up in front of my colleagues, my friends.” 

“Pick a place then, love. It won’t make a fucking difference.” Her husband could be nasty when need be, but she wasn’t about to stand and take it, especially not with an audience. 

“Right - “ Cillian started, cut off by Y/N barging past them both and towards the doors. This caught the attention of her cast mates, which Cillian quickly fed a lie to before speeding after her. 

He found her outside, stood against the wall and hunched over, hands clutching her knees. “Y/N, I’m so sor - “ 

“Cillian, don’t you dare apologise for his behaviour. Do you hear me?” Her voice shook as she spoke, the sudden rush of anger overwhelming her. She slid down the wall, sitting on the pavement, her exposed shoulders flat against the cold bricks. “Who does he think he is? Acting like that in front of everyone? I could lose my fucking job.” 

“You wouldn’t lose - “ 

“Yes, Cillian. I would. If the studio… If the writers found out about this - “ 

“They won’t.” He asserted, kneeling down so they were on the same level. “They won’t.” 

She took a few deep breaths, Cillian’s presence calming her down as he crouched opposite her, his fingers resting lightly on her knees. “You know, for months I have felt like the worst human being in the world. Looking at myself in the mirror and seeing the cheat staring back, the lousy fucking cheat.” 

“So, you’re not perfect. You’ve done some, admittedly not great things, but I don’t think anyone in there would blame you.” 

“Somehow I don’t think they’d praise me for fucking my co-star behind my husband’s back.” She scoffed, rolling her eyes and rubbing her temple with her fingertips. “God, I’m sorry, Cillian. I’m not trying to… You’re so much more than that, I – “

“It’s alright. You’re upset… And I can handle whatever you throw at me.” He joked, reaching out to pinch her chin.

Hearing the doors swing open, the two flinched, Cillian rising from the ground instinctively. “Well, isn’t this cosy?” Y/N’s husband drawled, sauntering towards them. “So… I was right, yeah? You and him?” He pointed between them, his words directed at Y/N.

“Please…”

“Just answer me. Put me out of my God damn misery.” He threw his arms in the air in defeat, letting them fall to his sides, hitting his thighs with a loud slap.

Pressing her palms against the ground, Y/N pushed herself up, adjusting her dress as she steadied her feet. She approached her husband, and Cillian put his arm out to try and hold her back. “It’s OK, Cill.” She stood looking up at the man she once loved, her hands balled into fists at her side, thumbs picking at the fabric clinging to her legs. “You’re right. You figured it out.”

He exhaled a laugh, kissing his teeth. “I knew it.” Turning away, he ran his hands through his hair, looking up to the sky and sighing deeply. “How long?” He looked back, hands on his hips and brows furrowed. “Y/N, how long?”

“Since my twenty-ninth birthday…” She said shyly, realising just how much worse that made everything look. It had been exactly a year, pretty much to the hour, that she’d shared the first kiss with Cillian that started it all.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. Well, I am sorry for interrupting your little anniversary night…” Exasperated, he took a deep breath and exhaled the air with puffed cheeks. “You know what? You are not the woman I married.” He pointed his finger in her face, but she didn’t react. Folding her arms over her chest, she stepped back until she felt Cillian against her, his hands supporting her upper arms. He whispered comforting words into her ear and her eyes began to water as she continued to stare at her husband, distant and unblinking.

Silence fell upon them, and Y/N expected more to be said, but was surprised to witness her husband turn and walk away. Anything else he had left to say was muttered under his breath as he disappeared around the corner. She and Cillian waited a few seconds to see if he would come back, but the street stayed unusually empty and quiet. “It’s alright. He’s gone.” Cillian whispered, and she spun in his arms, clinging onto him desperately.

Her thoughts felt like they were drowning in a whirlpool, like she couldn’t take control of them no matter how hard she tried. The heaviness in her heart had dissipated, but the ache in her stomach and throbbing in her head persisted. “Can we get out of here, please?” She begged, her head buried in Cillian’s chest.

“Shall I tell the others we’re leaving?”

“Just leave it. Please, can we just go?” Her voice cracked as her hold on him tightened, pieces of his shirt screwed up between her fingers.

“Alright. Let’s go.”

Lying on the bed, Y/N stared at the ceiling, her fingers ghosting over Cillian’s as he laid beside her. A strange mixture of relief and dread washed over her body, making her feel weak yet incredibly alive at the same time. She wanted to jump up and down, to declare her feelings for Cillian from the highest rooftop she could find. However, another part of her wanted to hide, to burrow under the covers like a scared child until it was safe to come out. She was too afraid to check her phone; it was probably already blowing up with messages from her family and friends.

How could you? 

Who was there for you when you were starting out? Did the fame get to your head? 

He’s heartbroken! You should be ashamed. 

The mere thought of it all made her head spin, and it was far easier to leave her phone on do not disturb and pretend no one else existed for a moment. Her thoughts felt so loud, and she wondered if they both held their breaths for a moment, would Cillian be able to hear the gears twisting and turning inside her brain? Or the steam coming out of her ears? 

“Some birthday this was.” She sighed, closing her eyes and shaking her head. “Am I supposed to feel bad? Like… Is this the point where I’m supposed to cry and scream about how terrible of a person I am?” 

“You can if you want to.” Cillian turned his head to the left, and she looked over at the same time, their eyes meeting in the middle.

“No… I mean, it’s not that I don’t want to. I just can’t. I don’t feel bad, not anymore. Is that horrible?” 

“How do you feel?” 

This was a new feeling for Y/N, for the both of them in fact. Throughout their relationship they’d spoken about everything from their favourite albums to their very particular pet peeves. They’d even spent a whole night debating the existence of aliens, sitting out on the balcony of a hotel room and bickering with each other beneath the stars. The thing they hadn’t really spoken about were their feelings, including their feelings for each other. Those three fateful words were still dangling from the tip of Cillian’s tongue, and there was so much Y/N wanted to say in return.

“I feel… Relieved. I feel free.” Clasping her hands together, she tucked them under her head. “That’s awful to admit, isn’t it?” 

“It’s better than pretending.” He rubbed her shoulder soothingly, his thumb slipping beneath the strap of her dress. “Paul was right, you are a vision in red.” 

Y/N giggled, swatting his hand away and adjusting the strap. “You are such a flirt!” 

They stayed looking at each other, studying each other’s faces as if there was something new to see. Y/N counted the little flecks in Cillian’s bright blue eyes, watching his pupils twitch and change sizes with every few blinks. He added up the freckles on her face, imagining how they’d look if they were connected like tiny constellations across her cheeks. He smiled to himself, his tongue poking out to swipe across his bottom lip. “What?” She asked, eyes squinting with playful suspicion. 

“Nothing. It’s nothing.” His voice was gentle and quiet, barely reaching above a whisper. It wasn’t necessary in the room they were in. Not a single sound could be heard around them, except for their breathing and bodies shuffling against the sheets. He swallowed his words, assuming that perhaps she wasn’t ready to hear them. It had only been an hour since she confessed to her husband in the street, and he didn’t want to overwhelm her with a big declaration of love. He’d know when the time was right, he was sure of it.

Rolling off the bed, Y/N pressed a kiss to Cillian’s forehead and went to take a shower. Whilst she was gone, he looked around the bedroom, spotting various bits of his belongings scattered from the many times he’d stayed over. Filming for the series was almost complete, and it would soon be time for them to pack up their rentals and head home, wherever that may be. He thought about how things might change now that they technically didn’t have to sneak around anymore. Would people start to notice? Would they be victims of some derogatory Daily Mail headline by morning? 

Returning in a towel, Y/N sat on the edge of the bed, combing through her damp hair in the mirror. Cillian knelt behind her, balancing on the mattress as he ducked his head down to press a soft kiss to her shoulder. “I’m sorry you didn’t get the birthday you deserve.” He murmured against her skin. She closed her eyes and hummed, enjoying the feeling of his lips moving across her shoulder blade. 

“I think it was exactly what I deserved.” She whispered, turning her head to catch a glimpse of him. Resting his chin on her shoulder, he gazed up at her through his lashes. 

“There’s still just under two hours left of it. Do you think we can turn it around?”

“What do you suggest?” 

Cillian scrambled to his feet, hitting the carpet with a clumsy thud. Clicking his fingers, he pointed to Y/N, a goofy smile on his face. “You still have that wine in the fridge?” 

“You really trust me to drink wine after last time?” She raised a brow then mimed throwing up, clutching her stomach with her arm. “After last time…” She fake gagged, making him grimace.

“OK, OK! Bad idea!” 

He stood with one hand on his hip, the other raking through his hair. Cocking her head to the side, Y/N admired the view in front of her, pinching her bottom lip with her teeth. There was something oddly appealing about Cillian in regular clothes with the signature Tommy Shelby haircut. He wore a crisp white t-shirt with dark jeans, which just happened to be one of her favourite looks on him. It was simple, yet he somehow made it the most attractive thing she’d ever laid eyes on. Her eyes followed the trail of his veins down his forearm, where they reached the hand that sat just above his waistband.

“I’m gonna be honest, that was my only idea.” He laughed, resting his cheek in his hand. 

“Cillian…” She said softly, shuffling to the edge of the mattress. “Come here.”

As he approached, she parted her legs, giving him enough room to stand between them. Placing his hands on her shoulders, he looked down, his eyes meeting hers. She looked so beautiful like this; just wearing a towel with unruly wet strands of hair stuck to the sides of her face. Her cheeks blushed a light pink, decorated in a couple of stray droplets of water from the shower. 

“Closer.” She whispered, reaching up to grab his shirt. He lifted his knee and rested it on the mattress beside her, using his hands as support as he hovered over her, lowering her until she was laid on her back. 

“Is this close enough?” He breathed, his palms flat on either side of her head. 

“Almost…” 

He lowered himself further as if he was performing a press-up, using the strength in his wrists to steady himself above her. “This will do.” She smiled, bringing her lips to meet his. 

Dropping to his elbows, Cillian weaved his hands into her hair, tugging gently at the root. She moaned softly into his mouth, arching her back to inch herself closer to him and press their chests together. He groaned, a shiver coursing through his body as the towel around her dampened his shirt. 

Pulling away from the kiss, they each opened their eyes and gazed at the other, panting quietly with heat-flushed cheeks and swollen lips. Their faces were just close enough to still be able to see one another properly without their vision blurring. Y/N sighed, her forefinger tracing the curve of his cheekbone. “Are you OK?” Cillian asked, running the pad of his thumb along her bottom lip. 

“Yeah, I just…” She couldn’t concentrate with his fingers under her chin, featherlight and careful across her skin. Blinking slowly, she relaxed into his touch, relishing in the feeling of the goosebumps that prickled her cheeks. 

“We can stop if you want.” 

“No, no. That’s not what I want. Quite the opposite, actually.” Her words weren’t exactly a lie, but they didn’t seem to match the look on her face.

Worried, he flipped onto his side and laid next to her, his right hand finding a loose piece of thread hanging from the towel and twisting it around his finger. “If you need a bit of space for a while – “

“No, Cillian. Please don’t say that.”

“Alright, I’m sorry…”

“I just don’t know what happens next. Am I supposed to announce it to everyone? Do I file for divorce on Monday? How does this all work?” She laughed slightly, mostly at herself for being so clueless. ��I think telling everyone my marriage is over will be the easy part. How do I tell them about us?”

“Well, the divorce stuff can wait for a bit. You don’t need to rush into anything.” He patted the bed, searching for her hand. She turned her palm upwards, letting his slide over the top and their fingers entwine. “As for telling anyone…”

“What?” She rolled onto her side, mirroring his position. “Do you think we should tell people?”

“I was going to say, is there really any need in telling anyone yet? I mean, we’ve kept it between the two of us for this long already and – “

“Yes, but that was because we didn’t have a choice.”

“I know... but just think about it. I think it would be weirder if we charged into work next week and announced it to everyone.”

She stared at a crease in Cillian’s shirt, daydreaming about how things were going to be. He was right. They didn’t need to shout about it, and Y/N certainly didn’t want to draw any attention to herself just yet. She already knew what people were going to think of her and label her as, and she wanted to delay the backlash for as long as possible; whether her husband was going to allow that was another story…

Cillian opened his arms for her, scooting higher onto the bed so his feet were no longer dangling off the edge. She followed, snuggling into him and tangling her legs with his. The silence between them was heavy, like there were a million words going unsaid. Y/N knew that Cillian was everything she wanted, but a small part of her worried about what would happen to her husband. Being married to someone for four years was going to leave a stamp on her forever, but she sincerely hoped he’d be OK, and that he wouldn’t try to inflict a war on her and Cillian. She knew in time that things would smooth themselves out and feel normal, but for now, she was content to sit in her little confusing bubble, just as long as Cillian was in it with her.

“Cill?”

“Mhm?”

“When we met earlier in wardrobe, and I spotted that box, what was in it?” She smiled sweetly, batting her eyelashes.

“You really wanna know?” She nodded. “OK… Well, that box wasn’t actually for you.”

“What?”

“I don’t know what was in it! It was already there.”

“Cillian!” She slapped his chest playfully and he huffed, feigning hurt. “Why did you say it was for me?”

“Technically, I didn’t! You just assumed.” He laughed, watching her cheeks redden and brows knit together. “Don’t look so disappointed! Listen, I’ll make it up to you tomorrow when I give, or rather take you to your real present.”

“Now I’m intrigued.”

“That’s all I’m saying! I’m not going to spoil it.”

“Fine…” He hugged her tightly, inhaling the scent of her shampoo. She listened to his heartbeat, counting the thumps in sets of eight. Looking up from his chest, she was surprised to see him already looking at her. “What about my other present?” She whispered.

“What do you – Oh, right. That.”

She sat up, kneeling beside him so she could see him better. He rotated onto his back, folding his arms across his chest, and tucking his hands under his arms. “Y/N – “

“No, wait!” She turned her head, fixing her messy hair and readjusting the towel around her body. Turning back with a flip of her hair and a dramatic flailing of her arms, she gestured for him to sit up.

“What are you doing?”

Awkwardly crawling closer on her knees, she ran the back of her hand over his cheek, leaving it to rest below his jaw. “Cillian.”

“Y/N.” He chuckled, and she immediately hushed him. She tried her best to be serious, but laughter threatened to burst out of her. “Whatever you’re doing, please get on with it because you’re freaking me ou – “

“Here it comes…” She spoke in her best attempt at an Irish accent, cringing at herself.

“Oh for Christ’s sake.” He threw his head back, belly laughing, and she grabbed him by his shirt to pull him back. Composing himself, he bit his cheeks to refrain from laughing any more. “Sorry… Go on.”

“I love you.”

He was silent, staring at her as he ran his fingers along his upper lip nervously. He knew it was coming, yet it still caught him by surprise, hearing those words come out of her mouth. He’d heard her say them plenty of times when they were in character, but this was different. They sounded so sweet when they finally meant something, and feeling her eyes on him made his heart pound in his chest. “Too cheesy?” Y/N asked, dropping the terrible accent.

“Cheesy, but I liked it.”

Sitting down cross-legged, she reached her hand out for him which he gladly took. He kissed her knuckles softly, keeping his lips there as he looked up at her. “I love you too.” He confessed. Both their bodies seemed to slump as if a weight they’d been carrying had been lifted, and despite everything that had happened, or rather gone wrong, that night, this moment felt right.  He kissed her again, before slotting his fingers between hers and giving her hand a gentle squeeze. “And we’re going to be OK.”

[rowiewritesstuff]

YAN ES SOUNDWAVE!!

TFP Yandere Soundwave X Reader

Lol for the flip off part I imagined the breaking bad scene. I have to make my sibling draw this sometime lmfao

Soundwave saw you first when you were in Texas at the satellite array. You had quickly noticed the camera that moved to look at you all, and you jumped up and smashed it with a crowbar. 

Soundwave’s tentacle slithered into the room, and you were ready. Your crowbar slammed into his tentacle, drawing energon. He recoiled, and slammed all of you into a wall. He dragged you out to get a better look at you. The kids all followed behind you quickly. Your arms were pinned to your sides and you struggled in his grip. 

A second later, you’re face to face with a black visor. It’s pure silence as you stare at him with a glare on your face. “What, don’t talk?” Soundwave merely tilted his head at you. You dropped your scowl slightly. “Oh. You don’t- my bad dude. But still, fuck you man! Put me down”

Soundwave found you amusing- he actually had to stop himself from reacting. He dropped you from his face level to see what you’d do.

You quickly grabbed onto him and climbed down his sleek form, using the grooves to avoid falling. As soon as you were on the ground, he used the crowbar he stole from you to cut the lines to the array.

Miko quickly snapped a picture, and he nodded as he took one as well. Two to be exact- one of you. 

As he jumped into the air he found it amusing as you flipped him off, a serious look on your face.

When you got back to base, you were commended for your bravery. “Nah bro when I see him it’s round two!” you shouted, punching your fists together. 

Ratchet sighed, hoping that he wouldn’t have to patch you up in the near future.

The next time you saw Soundwave was when he was stealing the energon harvester. You were on the lift, holding the artifact still. When he opened the door, he reached for the harvester.

“Uh-uh! This thing isn’t leaving me, buddy!” You quickly got out the knife you’d been saving for this occasion. A smiley face appeared on his visor as he snatched both you and the artifact up. He had to electrocute you to stop you from stabbing him again.

When you woke up, you were laying on a metal table. You rubbed your sore back as you moseyed your way down the table’s leg. The door then slid open, and your worst Decepticon enemy came through. You quickly ducked under the table. You then realized that you had to be on the Decepticons’ ship. The door was beginning to slide shut so you ran for it. Before you could get even a foot out of the door, a familiar tentacle snatched you up.

“What’s your deal?” You yelled at him.

That ever-so-irritating smiley emoji popped up on his visor as he pet your head with a careful digit. 

“Hey, knock it off! And let me go- the Autobots will come for me!” You swatted at his servo.

“No escape- you’re stuck- here- little human.” Voice clips pieced together. 

You glared at him. “Why am I here?”

“Amusement.” 

You gaped at him. How could he say that so calmly? You were silent as you were placed back on the table. Soundwave stood back in the corner of the room and watched you.

You were determined to not be ‘entertaining’ for him. So you plopped down on the table and flipped him off again. 

You sat there for about thirty minutes, neither of you moving when your boredom overpowered your pettiness. You looked down the table again, then to the door, and back to Soundwave. 

As quickly as you could, you darted down the table. Halfway there he caught you again and put you back onto the table, going back to his original place in the room.

Hours turned to days, and days to weeks, and weeks to months. He always watched you. You knew that even if you were to escape the room, he’d bring you back. He was watching anywhere there were cameras- on the Nemesis and Earth.  You could never escape from him by yourself. You just had to bide your time until your Autobot friends came back- or until you could find a way to kill him in his sleep (which was hard- he was a light sleeper). 

Until then, you’d be entertainment to the silent stalker. You just hoped he wouldn’t get bored with you- you had seen what he did to those he lost interest in.

EDIT: This was the silly meme I was talking about lol

[popcornforone]

Gifting

I’ve not done this before but I believe this would be what 8 of the Pedro Pascal Guys would gift you on Christmas morning. A little bit of fun & some of you might not agree but this is what I think they would gift you underneath the tree.

Obviously some of these are not going to be minor friendly so best not to read if you are under 18!

Din Djarin

Din would look on (behind the mask obviously) & se you start to unwrap you small gift. The knot won’t undo so Grogu starts to use the force. You think it’s sweet but Din tells him off for not being patient. You undo the last layer of the brown paper & see that Din has gifted you some Beskar. It has his & Grogus emblem on it & you smile back, you are not a mandalorian. You then notice it has a hook & chain. Din comes & sits behind you & slowly clips in it place & you smile. Through his modulator you hear him whisper”your part of our clan now”

Oberyn Martell

You awaken in your chambers, usually a small bowl of fruit is waiting for you from your lover. But this morning there are 3. One filled with fruit, one with nuts & one with spices. There is also a large display of flowers in front of your mirror. You smile & slowly climb out of bed & see a note from your Prince. “I shall come to see you later today, to make sure you remember our day of celebrations”. Oberyn is a man of his word & satisfy you for an hour later that morning. He is greeted by his own gift of your naked body lying on top of the bed sheets.

Frankie Catfish Morales

Frankie is Sober this Christmas & remember to actually get you a gift. No last minute dash to a 24/7 store on Christmas Eve. Nope underneath the tree is that jumper you pointed out 3 weeks ago when you went shopping, plus a watch, yours stopped working a little while ago. You hold them up proudly & smile that Frankie has taken so much in recently. “Awww Frankie” you say & you scoot along the sofa & kiss him softly. “So perfect, you do listen to me”.

Joel Miller (pre outbreak)

Post out break Joel doesn’t even know what day of the week it is but pre outbreak would have spoilt you with gifts. Ginger bread house packs the week before to build. Flowers & plants for you to make a Christmas wreath with in advance. Candles for the Christmas table. It’s like he was doing his own advent calendar himself. But in the day he softly will wake you up & gift you a small piece of jewellery. It’s not much but it will be half his monthly salary. He’d slowly but on the bracket, neckless or earrings on you & then would pepper you in kisses.

Jack Daniels / Agent Whiskey

He’s probably on assignment, saving the world. If he is he gifts you a bottle of the next years Statesmen for you to have & save for the future. But if he is home he’s got you something to make your life better. This year he has got you an air fryer. You’ve heard the rest of the world talk about them & he thought it was a rather cool gadget. You both wonder if you can air-fry Brussel sprouts to see if that makes them taste better.

Marcus Moreno

Marcus feels sorry for you. He’s not been a good boyfriend, but you understand being a super hero is more important. So when he is not in bed on Christmas morning you’re a little concerned. But then I’m he walks. “Breakfast in bed for my beloved” he’s made pancakes, proper coffee, fresh orange juice & there is a large bowl of fruit too. “I have other gifts under the tree for you but I promise to be here more emotionally & physically this year” he says before he slips back into bed with you to eat the breakfast & maybe have some morning delight.

Pero Tovar

Rice. He’s got you rice. It’s what keeps him going. He’s grumpy if he doesn’t eat & it’s his favourite. So him buying you 3 bags of rice for Christmas means you don’t have to spend any of your money on it for the next three months, which you are secretly happy about.

Dave York

He’s given you a couple of standard gifts over the day in front of the family, but as you both finish putting things away from the day, Dave hands you a small box. No one else is around the girls are in bed, the in-laws have left. So when you open the box & you see the see through nightdress & new vibrator, you blush. “David!” You squark. He lifts you up abandoning the rest of the cleaning away. “But I’m not wearing it” you say. “I know” Dave replies “I don’t want you wearing anything while i fuck you tonight”

[dojae-huh]

Sorry if it's gonna be so rant-y but all this Jaehyun enlistment thing has me SO confused to be honest, adn as the ibservant person you are I would like to discuss the timeline of events that lead to it or whatever.

Apparently he applied on early august, and you know what else happened on early august their 8th anniversary in where they announced the upcoming concerts to be held on January, so all this time he was out of those plans? and for what reason? at first i thought TI's f-up triggered his decision but they weren't informed about it until mid-august.

And now there's a US interview (the only 127 member that did written interviews for US media, and idk if he's filming any interview now that he's been there for about a week or so) and he says that in about a year he sees himself releasing more good music... like??? why would he say that when it's clearly not

but then there's that fansign clip in which OP tells him about missing TY and JH telling her that he would go soon too, but I take this with a grain of salt, he might sad subtly or had he actual plans of going this early all this time and for what? he's the most popular member, he has international appeal his solo is the one doing the best in most metrics, he qas also booked with cfs, which he most likely wouldn't have got if he was enlisting this soon

Yes, looking at the schedule, to get into a band Jaehyun had to submit his application August 1st or August 7th. Plus, fans think that he returned from Thailand to Korea and then went right away to Indonesia (that weird detour after a 127 fanmeet everyone was confused about) because he had to do a health check (again, based on the dates from the military enlistment shedule).

There is information (I don't know how true), that if Jae didn't get into the band, he would have to apply again. However, he got accepted on the first try. Frankly, even if it's an option, I don't think military would pass a famous idol with a clearly good voice and handsome face. "Oh, it's so hard to get into an army band" is not about the likes of Jaehyun.

In addition, Jaehyun's whole schedule for October has been already planned. Doyoung's encore is exactly on the last days of Jaehyun being in town. Lastly, a band has limited number of places, to not miss a chance and apply in time the decision should have been made before deciding on the solo slot even. It's not like it was with Kai, when he was planning to perform with Exo, and then the military called saying his application for a 3d (?) postponement was not granted, so he had to drop all plans, beg forgivenes from the fans, and go to the base right away.

Ergo, it was planned Jae will go November 4th way ahead.

"In a year" is a common approximation when it comes to idols. It can mean 1,5 years, 2 years, in foreseeable future. It's a vague answer in an interview, not an official announcement (like with Mark's solo in February). Imagine you are promoting your first album and saying that you will release another one in 2-3 years? Fans will connect the dots. Most SM artists normally release an album every year. If Jae said "maybe in the future", fans would have attacked SM. Who is promoting themselves as a soloist with no promise of continuation?

Plus, he could have recorded an OST. And there is that collab with the guy from Emotional Oranges (Jae will feuture on his upcoming album).

Taeyong booked a new cosmetic endorsement right before he left. It aired after his enlistment. Clio has a ton of footage with Jae, it will release it bit by bit the same way it does with DoWoo. Same for Prada. Jae was its BA long enough anyway. These contracts are for a few years only.

What do you mean "And for what?". 1) for 127 to comeback as whole sooner, 2) to reunite with Doyoung sooner, 3) if it's true that the army band only accepts up to 27 y.o., than this as well.

Jae will be in a band, he will be seen by gp. It is better to release a second album and go on a tour after enlistment in Jae's case. He is not known as a soloist yet. Imagine him getting some attention in US and then dissapearing for 2 years? You think people will hold on his name? No.

Jae didn't break the wall. His MV didn't go viral (3,6mln views as of now). Album sales and streams are from his fans. They will wait for him, especially knowing what to expect from him genre vise (= wanting more and anticipating).

It's not about me being observant, it's about common sense and "giving it a thought".

You said "Jaehyun is so popular now!". So what? With whom he is popular? With 127 fans and his solo fans. GP doesn't know him, as an actor he is not known, he is a nobody on the international scale as a soloist yet. Brands bag him because he is from SM, a part of a famous group, has 15mln followers on IG, and he is very handsome. In two years (1,5 actually) it will stay the same.

All these years Jaehyun was saying he wants a holiday. And you want him to have another squirrel in a wheel year after 10 years of exactly that for fame and brand deals he doesn't crave. A year alone, without Doyoung by his side, or at least Tae, Yuta, and Haechan?

Maybe trust idols in their late 20s themselves sometimes. Enlistment is their decision, a company can't force them to do it. Normally idols go the very last minute. When they go ahead of time, it's what they want and see as the best solution.

P.S. Sorry, forgot about the concert. So yeah, it was planned without him (but with Taeil, the main vocal, i.e. 7/9). They just couldn't say it. Look at other SM groups, they performed and gave concerts with few members as well. It will be 127 day concert. I was surprised it was scheduled so far in the future, but it makes sense given the context now (not a tour, just a special day performance).

[thebirdandthebee]

Easy As

A Carmen Berzatto Universe

A/N: Warning you all NOW - this is purely fluff ‘n smut. Talks about babies, breeding kink (?) and tooth-rotting sweetness.

Thanks for your patience while I’ve been out of town! I’ve got two more requests for these two I’m wrapping up, so if you’ve been waiting to drop one in my inbox - go ahead!

Vanessa Monaghan is the breath of fresh air that Carmen had been gasping for.

Chapter 26: Baby Broccoli

“Mommy loves you,” Gina said, dropping one last kiss down to Rosie’s head. The little girl was sitting on Vanessa’s hip, her thumb in her mouth and her blankie in her other hand. “I’ll be back tomorrow morning,” she reassured.

“We’re going to have fun, aren’t we Ro?” Vanessa asked, giving the 16-month-old a little bounce.

Ro nodded delicately before resting her little head against Vanessa’s shoulder.

“Say ‘bye Mama,’” Vanessa cooed. Ro lifted a hand to wave goodbye to her Mama before Gina disappeared. “What should we do first, huh? Have a little snack?” Vanessa asked, gently bouncing into the kitchen. She slotted Rosie down into her high chair before turning to the fridge where Carmen had already portioned out most of Rosie’s meals for her visit into little glass containers. “What did Uncle Carm put together for us, huh?” She narrated while Rosie kicked her legs in the high chair.

Between Rosie and Lily, and their own future plans, they already had most things that they’d need to watch the girls – a high chair, pack ‘n play, crib and about a hundred toys that all dominated the second guest room’s closet when not being used.

Pulling out a little glass container, she uncovered it to reveal little wells filled with crushed blueberries and raspberries, roasted turkey, cheese cubes and avocado slices.

“Isn’t Uncle Carm the best?” She asked, setting the container down on the tray in front of the baby, glad it suctioned to the plastic. The two ladies enjoyed their lunches together, Rosie even getting a bite of Vanessa’s warmed mac ‘n cheese, before they moved on to play time.

Rosie’s current obsession was her Goodnight Veggies book, along with her stuffed ear of corn and broccoli plushes.

“Nom, nom, nom,” Vanessa pretended to chew on the broccoli, “yum, yum, yum,” she continued, causing a loud squeal to rip out of Rosie. They pushed forward with their play, Rosie showing interest in pulling herself up to push her walking board that lit up and made noise.

After not too long, she was ready for a small bottle ahead of her first nap of the day. Vanessa had dimmed the lights in the family room, drawing the shades closed before warming Rosie’s bottle and settling in the corner of the couch. She hummed softly as Rosie sucked down her bottle, her loud gulps and breathing making Vanessa smile. Rosie mostly fed herself, but enjoyed being held.

Next, she was changed into a new pair of soft pajamas that Vanessa and Carmen had washed and folded the night before. Clipping the baby monitor screen to the waist of her jeans, she slowly ducked out of the guest room where Rosie was snuggled into her crib.

Vanessa squared a few things away in the kitchen before checking her email in the next room over, ordering a few items for Carmen’s upcoming birthday. They’d have a small get together at Trunk Noodle, the restaurant letting her rent out the dining room to host friends and family. Carmen wasn’t much for big showings, but she wanted him to feel special on his birthday.

Checking her watch, Rosie could sleep for about another hour before she’d need to get up. Tonight they’d share dinner together, Carmen already planning on leaving work early to meet them for the meal. He’d been looking forward to watching Rosie for the night all week since they’d been asked.

He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but watching Lily and Rosie was scratching an increasingly hard to ignore itch he was feeling. Carmen was getting broody, and while it wasn’t time for he and Vanessa just yet, he could feel that day getting closer and closer.

When he arrived home that night, he hung up his coat, tucking his shoes into the front closet and ducked into the kitchen to quickly wash his hands.

“Who’s that kitty with the soft white tail?” Vanessa asked, reading aloud from one of Rosie’s books. “Feel, isn’t it soft?” She encouraged, running her own fingertips across the tuft of fur on the cardboard page. Rosie was nestled in Vanessa’s crossed legs, reading along with her Auntie. “Who’s that kitty with the shiny tag?” She continued to read, tilting the book back and forth to reflect the little mirror on the page.

“Are we reading the kitty book?” Carmen asked, gently entering the room, grabbing Rosie’s attention. He melted as she smiled, showing off her four little teeth.

“Who’s that?” Vanessa asked excitedly, “is Uncle Carm home?” She asked happily.

“Cahm,” Rosie rasped out with her little voice, disarming Carmen entirely. “Cahm.”

“That’s right, Ro, Carm,” Vanessa giggled, watching as Rosie smacked her palm against Vanessa’s leg excitedly.

“Come here, Ro,” Carmen said, hunching over and wiggling his fingers at the little girl, both of them laughing as she squealed excitedly, flapping her arms. Carmen lifted Rosie from Vanessa’s lap, the book since abandoned, as he pressed little kisses all over her face.

“How was work Carmy?” Vanessa asked, getting up from the floor and tucking the book away on the side table.

“Torture!” He said dramatically, “the day dragged on and on knowing you two were having fun here without me,” he said, happy to have Rosie’s little fingers strongly gripping his curls. “What did you girls get up today?” He asked, Rosie’s fingers now exploring his face.

“We ate our whole lunch!” Vanessa smiled happily, “then we played with our walker, read some books, took a bottle and a nap,” she listed off.

“Busy day!” Carmen said, attention back on Rosie who was fisting his white T-shirt.

“Big day,” Vanessa nodded, just as Rosie was beginning to squirm to get down from Carmen’s grasp. “Want to check her diaper while I look for dinner?” She asked, rubbing a hand up his shoulder.

“Home just in time for diaper duty? Lucky me!” Carmen said, raising Rosie over his head and bringing her down the hall to where they had the changing table set up. He’d fumbled his way through his first few diapers with Lily and Rosie, but now considered himself a pro.

Vanessa reached into the freezer and pulled out a few containers of French onion soup Carmen had frozen over the winter. She could put together a cheese plate, heat the soup and toss together a garden salad easily.

It wasn’t an hour later that they were settled around the kitchen table, enjoying their respective meals.

More, Rosie signaled with her hands, having devoured her smashed berries, which accompanied more smoked turkey, avocado and a few veggie puffs.

“Ro, why don’t you try some turkey before we do more berries?” Carmen asked, knowing the little smashed fruits were practically dessert for the toddler. She’s signaled for more again, stuffing her little fist into the well of the plate that previously held the fruit.

“Demanding,” Vanessa said, pulling out the secret weapon of fruit teethers, or cookies, as Rosie knew them.

“Look baby, Uncle Carm loves turkey,” Carmen illustrated, nibbling away on a piece from Rosie’s plate. There was more in the fridge anyway.

“Oh, it looks yummy!” Vanessa said with feigned jealousy. Rosie eyed the two closely, shoving a teething biscuit in her mouth before grabbing a fistful of turkey. She’d swiftly extended her arm over the side of her high chair tray.

“No,” Carmen shook his head, “dinner stays on the tray,” he added, giving her a pointed look. She simply opened her first, dropping the turkey to the floor.

“Ro,” Vanessa sighed, trying her best not to laugh. It was amazing how much power the little girl had over the two adults.

“Dinner stays on the tray,” Carmen reiterated, picking up the turkey from the floor and setting it by his plate on the dining table. Rosie squawked loudly, grabbing both their attention, showing off her fourth teeth.

“Teeth hurtin’ babe?” Vanessa cooed, running a hand over her little head. “The cookie taste good?” She asked – Rosie flashing her little teeth again. “Will you let Uncle Carm play with you while I clean up the kitchen?” She asked with a tilt of her head.

Carmen took his after-dinner duty seriously. First, he pulled Rosie’s dinner smock off, tossing it in the sink for Vanessa to rinse. Then, he grabbed a wet wipe and wiped down her grubby little face, blueberry already staining around her mouth. Rosie hated having her face wiped down and Carmen did his best not to laugh as she contorted her face every which way to escape the cold wipe.  Next, they shuffled into the family room to find some more of her toys on the floor, but she was most taken with the books and picked up her Goodnight Veggies book once again. She waved it at Carmen and he immediately scooped her up to sit with him on the couch.

“Sunset in the garden, robins in their next – tossing, turning veggies need to get their rest,” Carmen flipped the book pages, his head dropped down so he could read gently to Rosie who was content to sit in his lap.

Vanessa wiped down the counter tops, checking her phone and sending a few photos off to Gina before joining her husband in the family room.

“Turnips tucked in tightly, potatoes closing eyes – tuckered out tomatoes humming lullabies,” Carmen pressed a kiss to Rosie’s head.

Vanessa picked up Rosie’s little broccoli plush and the toddler reached for it, cradling it to her chest.

“Cuddly cauliflowers, droopy pods of peas,” Carmen flipped the page, “rhubarbs reading stories to worn out broccolis.” He gave her a little squeeze as she waved her broccoli.

“Are you our little broccoli?” Vanessa asked, but Rosie’s attention was keenly fixed on the book. She smacked the cardboard page, finger pointing at the baby carrots.

“Or are you our baby carrot?” Carmen asked with a little smile. Rosie smacked the page again. “Okay, okay, I’m going,” he relented.

When book time was all finished, Vanessa was sent away with the baby for bath time while Carmen warmed up her last bottle of the night.

Changed into yet another fresh pair of pajamas – as Vanessa simply couldn’t help herself at the store – Rosie appeared in the family room, the scent of lavender and chamomile lingering on her baby soft skin.

Settling back on the couch, Vanessa snuggled into Carmen’s side as she cradled Rosie against her, the baby all too glad to have her bottle. Carmen had put on Rosie’s favorite dancing fruit video on the TV, but her eyes drooped further and further as she drank her bottle.

“I think it’s time to give goodnight kisses,” Vanessa said, Rosie’s head resting against her shoulder as she swayed gently in the family room. “Say ‘night Uncle Carm,’” she sang quietly.

Rosie opened up her hands, reaching for Carmen’s face as Vanessa dipped her forward. Landing an open-mouth, sloppy kiss on Carmen’s chin, she bid her uncle goodnight.

“Goodnight Rosie, I love you,” Carmen said, rubbing a hand up and down her back.

“Kiss,” Rosie said, hands flexing. She leaned forward again and Carmen pressed his lips to her impossibly soft skin.

“Kisses,” Vanessa smiled, cradling Rosie back to her chest and gently bouncing her as they continued down the hall.

Carmen flopped back onto the couch after grabbing a beer from the fridge – Vanessa joining him a few minutes later with the baby monitor screen, setting it down on the coffee table. Without pretense, she immediately crawled into his lap, straddling his thighs and looped her arms around his shoulders.

He was all too familiar with how needy she got after seeing him with the babies.

“Ro asleep?” He asked against her lips, to which Vanessa nodded, whimpering softly as he pinched the back of her neck. “Look at you all worked up,” he murmured, free hand sliding up her side, traveling across her back and pulling her body tightly against his.

They’d agreed – married for three years before babies. It was set in stone and something they took seriously. Vanessa wanted to go back to school and finish her masters – Carmen wanted to do more traveling and was deeply considering opening a second restaurant. They had a lot they wanted to do before family time, but now, after a year, that two-year mark was starting to feel further and further away.

“Can’t we just pretend?” Vanessa asked with a whimper, pushing down on Carmen’s quickly hardening length beneath her.

“Of course, baby,” Carmen acquiesced. “I love seeing you in Mommy mode,” he managed to get off the couch with her in his lap, her legs squeezing around his side as he carried her down the hall to their bedroom. Carrying her was easy, walking with a full erection was another as she continually rolled her hips against him. Shedding her shirt and bra, he carefully closed the bedroom door behind them.

Vanessa was barely dropped onto the bed before Carmen stripped her of her jeans, dropping his own denim on the ground before pinning her down to the mattress.

“Please Carmy,” she whimpered, heels digging into his ass as he took his cock in hand, pressing it against her wet folds.

“Can’t wake the baby,” he shushed her, sealing his mouth over hers as he pressed in, swallowing her moan whole. “That’s good, huh?” He asked, hips pressing in deep, causing her to nod quickly.

“S’good,” She agreed wholeheartedly. “Fuck me, Carm,” she begged, chipping away at his resolve. He could feel the backs of his knees sweating as he pumped into her with long, deep strokes.

Carmen dipped two fingers into his mouth before seeking out her clit, loving her pathetic whine as he swirled around it.

“You want a baby?” He asked, brushing her hair from her face with his free hand, she nodded again. “Want me to put a baby in you?” He asked, fingers strumming her body in time with his thrusts.

“Yeah,” she gasped, “give me a baby, Carm,” she gasped. Carmen could feel his full body shudder from his shoulders down to his toes. “Want you to give me a baby,” she begged, “n’make me a Mommy.” Carmen’s hips stuttered. She bared down, clenching hard to keep him inside, causing him to curse out loud.

“Jesus Ness,” his brows knit together, eyes bright with pleasure and disbelief. Her legs wrapped around him tighter, urging him on.

“Come on, Carmy,” she purred, “don’t make me wait,” she gasped.

If she didn’t know him better, he’d be embarrassed how quickly he came – but his own orgasm set her off, and her sex pulsing around him made stars appear behind his eyelids. Vanessa bit into his shoulder hard to keep from screaming – feeling the way his orgasm coated her insides.

Carmen collapsed on her chest, hand sliding under her back to cradle her shoulders.

“Fuck,” he sighed, eyes fluttering shut. “Never leaving this pussy, Ness,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to her collarbone. She whined gently as he attempted to move, her feet keeping him in place.

“Give me a minute,” she whispered, feeling all too content to have her seated so deeply within her. Carmen’s head dipped down, lazily circling his tongue around her beaded nipple. She cradled his head, fingers delving in his curls as he laved her breast with his tongue, his free hand tweaking the other nipple gently.

Carmen always was a tit man, and she noticed he’d often pay them more attention after he came.

“I think if you didn’t have your IUD in, that would have been it,” Carmen grinned against her skin, making Vanessa giggle. “You’re going to need a team of archaeologists to get me out of you,” he elaborated, eyes going blurry for a moment as her laughter caused her sex to flutter around her again.

“Two more years,” she said quietly, playing with his hair.

“Two more years,” he agreed, giving her a tender look. “We get to be the best Uncle Carm and Auntie Ness until it’s our turn,” he reminded, making her nod.

However, later that night, as the baby monitor crackled with sound, Vanessa rolled to where it was sitting on Carmen’s nightstand, and blearily rubbed up and down his arm – she found it all too easy to say, “Daddy, check the baby.”

[lastweeksshirttonight]

My boyfriend has decided to start watching The Daily Show with Jon Stewart from episode one to see how it evolves. So in case you were wondering if he and I are similar-minded folk...

Last Lee Tonight (wherein Lee gets slightly personal) Season One, Episode Eight

(original air date: 6/24/2014) Major topics covered: Monarchies, Dr. Oz

Trigger warning: brief discussion of Kevin Spacey/sexual assault; medical issues

"Let's deal with the elephant in the room tonight. I'm sorry that Game of Thrones is not on anymore."

Y'all. It has happened. We have reached the first episode where the only clip of the show on the LWT YouTube is the main topic.

This marks an exciting new era of these recaps... for now. Next week the videos seem to be a bit more scattershot again. Whatever, progress towards the future is being made!

Another major milestone is hit in this episode, as it is the first time that John wears something I would categorize as daring. Let's get "Lee's outfit review and thirst corner" out of the way - pink and purple checkered shirt with dark navy (almost black) coat and matte slate gray tie. I'm giving this a 9/10 because I feel like a shiny slate gray tie would have given it that extra 'oomph', but it is still an excellent look.

We start tonight with me really noticing the Ferris wheel in the corner of the screen for the first time. It's a bold ass Ferris wheel. Was that there before??

Jesus that's a neon Ferris wheel.

This episode starts similarly to modern LWTs, except John says "Quick roundup of the week" instead of "quick recap of the week" to kick us off. I did not realize how ingrained some of his speech patterns and word choices are in my head until this specific phrasing. It's one thing to see something completely different from what you're used to, like in past episodes of the show; this is a tweak I feel like few people would notice, and yet it stuck out like a sore thumb to me.

We start in Iraq, wherein Baghdad has fallen to ISIS. John makes a joke about Kevin Spacey's sex dungeon being the former scariest place in the world that got a huge laugh - three years before Anthony Rapp came forward with his story. His behavior was such an open secret, it's so gross.

The opening segment bounces from Iraq to Thailand, where a coup just occurred and the new regime has started a "happiness campaign". This is the kind of story John loves, absolutely ridiculous on its face with a very real undercurrent of torment because of its origins.

Finally in our early stories, Antarctic tourism! That phrase makes me vaguely ill. John is on top of creating the anti-tourism trailer for them:

Interesting to look at this short bit in comparison to a much larger exploration of a similar topic years later, Mt. Everest expeditions. Obviously that was a full episode segment as compared to the 3-ish minutes Antarctic tourism gets here, but it's a good illustration of just how much more in-depth John is allowed to go on these kinds of niche topics as the years wear on.

John then speaks about the King of Spain abdicating the throne. ("Who needs decapitations or poisonings when you have a 76-year-old man peacefully resigning?") This gives John the opportunity to mock monarchy, his favorite sport, and to mention the LA Kings, something I did not expect. This transitions into speaking about the general idea of monarchy, how just about every European royal is related to the English crown, and Middle Eastern royalty. He ties it back to the Thailand section as well, to discuss the Crown Prince of Thailand, who is, according to the news, "a buffoon".

Next is "And Now This", which discusses "Political Figures Telling You What They Are Not". Fucking Michele Bachmann shows up again, as does professional dingo Tom Wheeler. Christ I hate Michele Bachmann.

With that, about halfway into the episode (13 minutes), we now get to our main story. Truly, this is the basic structure of a modern LWT!

The main story is about Dr. Oz, someone who time has made much, MUCH more odious. It's not like Dr. Oz wasn't a complete shithead at the time of this episode - his pitching for huckster diet solutions and miracle pills towards vulnerable people is disgusting. I have so much loathing for people who do this. A huge part of why my health problems are so bad is because, around the time this episode aired, I, and people around me I trusted, were influenced by guys like him, guys selling folksy cure-alls or "conventional wisdom". In my case, this influence caused me to not seek medical treatment for obvious, glaring, red-flag stomach issues for nearly two years, at which point I was actively dying. (I wish that the key for me to go see a doctor had been this episode, but it was not.)

But Dr. Oz got so much worse as time went on. I'm glad that, aside from one joke early on about Dr. Oz's (relative) attractiveness, John puts Dr. Oz's feet to the fire the entire segment. And not just him!

I remember learning about how the FDA is not allowed to regulate vitamins and supplements and being absolutely flabbergasted. Everyone knows that there's hundreds of deaths connected to tainted or irresponsible dietary supplements, and John firmly roasts senators Orrin Hatch and Tom Harkin for taking huge amounts of campaign contributions from the supplement industry and them subsequently killing attempts to regulate said industry. I appreciate the work put in here.

I love how silly the pandering demonstration is. Puts such a massive smile on my face. I would be remiss to not remind you that John Oliver fucking loves t-shirt cannons, and his obvious delight and power trip at holding and using one makes me beam every single time I see this.

Other notes:

Lee, you already did the suit review: Yeah sure I did. But consider the way that John says "regulatory zeal" at 9:52 in the Dr. Oz clip while snapping his fingers and barely restraining his anger.

"Check This Shit Out with Some Guy Named Mehmet" is an amazing title for a show.

I can't believe I can't find the GIF of John getting nailed with a t-shirt cannon from The Daily Show. I think Wyatt shot him with it. I'm glad I remember literally everything about this except where to find the GIF itself.

Sorry about getting a bit personal in this one. I know I don't talk much about my personal life, aside from being like "damn I'm at work all the time", but rest assured I am much better now and in good health. I have chronic illness so I'll never be 100%, but I am leagues away from where I was when my untreated illness was at its worst. <3

[ncisfranchise-source]

David McCallum is getting a hero's send-off on NCIS.��The late actor, who played chief medical examiner-turned-NCIS historian Dr. Donald "Ducky" Mallard on the long-running CBS procedural for two decades, died Sept. 25, 2023 at the age of 90. News of his death shattered the NCIS family. But it also presented an opportunity to pay tribute to a screen legend and honor a beloved TV character. 

Doing justice to Ducky's farewell episode — titled "The Stories We Leave Behind," airing Feb. 19 — was a "daunting" and emotional task, NCIS star Brian Dietzen admitted to TV Guide. How does one adequately sum up a lifetime's worth of moments into 40 minutes? "That's 20 years of getting to spend with the TV and film legend that I'm blessed to have experienced," said Dietzen, who co-write the episode with his writing partner, Scott Williams.

Even though Ducky's death is the primary focus of the episode, the NCIS team is presented with one of the last cases he was secretly working on up until he died, utilizing a wealth of information and treasures he left behind that could prove useful in the future. As a result, the crew is left reminiscing about the past, leading to key flashbacks and scenes with team members who have since departed, including Mark Harmon's Jethro Gibbs.

NCIS Michael Yarish/CBS

How are you feeling about heading into Season 21 of NCIS? Brian Dietzen: It feels wonderful, if I'm being honest. I would think that someone being on a show for an extended period of time like this, you might start to feel a little bored. But the show has found a way to recreate itself year after year, and while some of the faces have changed over the course of the years, the idea [is] that we always want to come up with new and better concepts, relationships, and crimes. We never stop trying to do better each week. It feels fresh, it really has. A couple of years ago with the addition of Gary Cole and Katrina Law, that really helped open up a whole world of possibilities for us.

This coming episode is a special one as it pays tribute to the late David McCallum, who played Ducky. How did you come to co-write this episode, and was there a certain pressure to do it justice? Dietzen: It was certainly daunting in a way. The way it came to be was we had a work stoppage last year due to the writers strike and the actors strike. And then when we got the awful news that David passed away [on Sept. 25, 2023]. My co-writer, Scott Williams, stepped up and said, "I'd love to write Ducky's farewell episode. If it's okay with everyone, I'd like to have Brian co-write it with me." Our showrunners, Steve Binder and David North, were more than supportive and said, "Yes, absolutely. That's a perfect fit." If you're asking me to help, I would be honored to, and this is an important character for TV history. More importantly, he's a good friend. To be able to honor him with the script was of paramount importance for me. There's definitely a little bit of pressure added in there because of that.

Did you have any guidance from the showrunners before you and Scott sat down to write the episode? How did you approach writing this hour? Dietzen: We wanted to tell an NCIS story, so we wanted it to be an NCIS show, meaning it has a case that we're solving. But we also wanted that case to thematically link up with the loss of one of our loved ones. We wanted to have the character of Ducky be instrumental in solving the case, but we didn't want it to be so straight down the middle that the case was about him in any way. We had it thematically linked to loss and to the stories that we leave behind for someone else.

While this is certainly not a clip show of any sort, there are more moments and scenes where you're going to see Ducky over the past 20 years. What was important to both Scott and I was that we get to see Ducky communicating with the team — and not just our current team but our past family members that this franchise is built upon, including Gibbs, Tony, Ziva, Abby, and all the rest. There's a long-standing family that we've had for 20 years, and to be able to honor their relationship with him with some scenes here and there was of big importance.

What did it mean to you to have a big hand in shaping this farewell episode? And personally, having worked with David all these years, what will you miss?  Dietzen: This episode was all about reminiscing while we were shooting it. There were a lot of stories being shared. I definitely had some tears while writing it and also while filming it. He was a good friend and he was a great man. Over the course of 20 years, you get to know someone pretty darn well, and you end up spending more time with them than you do sometimes with your own family members. The sadness, of course, was there, and the reflection and stories were also there. And we wanted to make sure that when we told this story, it wasn't just about the sadness of what happens when we lose someone, but also the celebration of what we have in our lives because we had them. That's 20 years of getting to spend with the TV and film legend that I'm blessed to have experienced. Within the storybook world of NCIS, our team was lucky to have this character of Ducky. To be able to see this team come together and coalesce and remember together and laugh together and celebrate together and, of course, cry together, it was nice to be able to show that full spectrum.

Did you have any conversations about bringing other people back from the past for this episode?  Dietzen: What I was really happy with is that we got to show Ducky with his team from the past. We got to see him with a lot of different team members and show his adventures and his kind ear that was always there for all of his teammates over the years. We got to honor the relationships that he's had with characters from past iterations of our show and also from the present. I think people will be happy with what they see.

How did you determine the specific scenes you wanted to include to highlight Ducky's various relationships with the team? You have 20 seasons of footage, so what was the process in identifying the best lines or moments?  Dietzen: It was a team effort, for sure. I was joking with a few people saying a lot of it came down to having a Paramount+ subscription and literally scrubbing through [episodes] until you see David's face and then watch the scene. A lot of the scenes, I knew which ones I wanted to use, and Scott knew as well. When we first got together at the writers' table back in October, I said, "I know the speech I want Ducky to end with, that we're going to leave with. I know exactly which episode that's going to be." Our showrunners had thoughts as well on different scenes — never telling Scott and I, "Here's a mandate," of any sort. But there were ideas flowing from different people, which was really helpful because I'm not the only one who experienced scenes with him. These are people who spent dozens of years with him who loved writing for him. So I wanted to honor as much of that as possible. 

Brian Dietzen and Katrina Law, NCIS Michael Yarish/CBS

Aside from grieving Ducky's death, what can you share about what Jimmy will be going through this year? Dietzen: Jimmy's had a rough few years. Between losing his wife, almost dying, having his team change up. But we've also seen him fall in love, to the point where he's blurting out "I love you" in the bullpen and being very embarrassed about it. There's been a lot of downs for him, but there's also been some ups. We're going to see some challenges to some of those ups, meaning his relationship with Jessica Knight. It's going to be front and center in a couple of episodes coming up this season. Because now we've established they love one another, what happens next? Very rarely does someone say "I love you" and someone else says "I love you," and then for the rest of their lives, everything's perfect. There are going to be some bumps along the road. There's a future episode where Jimmy meets Knight's father, and things maybe don't go exactly to plan. 

Is there still something you'd like Jimmy to experience or do? Dietzen: They've given the character so much to do over the course of these years, and honestly, it's been such a pleasure to play the transformation of this character from, "Gosh, I don't feel confident in what it is I do. I'm intimidated," into the character he is now. Everyone gets intimidated, and sometimes he's still a little uncertain, but for the most part, he's grown a lot. I loved playing that transition and retaining that optimism that Jimmy Palmer has been known for. That's one thing I hope to retain, no matter what this character goes through, is his ability to look on the bright side.

How have you felt about the evolution of Jimmy Palmer as a character and charting that progress along with the viewers from Day 1 to where he is now? Dietzen: It's been a huge journey over the course of 20 seasons, and this guy is quite different from the nervous intern that we met for a day in Season 1. The thing that I'd like to continue to see is audiences are looking for familiarity, and they're looking for stories that have lots and lots of episodes. Right now, we live in a world where people are also looking for the positive. We can tune into any news channel any hour of the day and we can see how awful things are. There are a ton of things happening in the world right now; injustices being perpetrated left, right, and center, and it can bog you down, which is why certain shows that have taken off have an optimistic take or an optimistic character. Ted Lasso did it so well of having a character who's saying, "I know things are bad right now, but I'm going to choose to look on the bright side," and Jimmy Palmer has always had that perspective. If that is refreshing for people in any way, rejuvenating or restorative, I am happy to be the guy that gets to portray that every week. I hope to be able to retain that energy with this character for a long time.

[paramoira]

@everythingheard

hands find the office window, running along the trim as another cool breeze drifts into her office. having an office, that was nice, an improvement from london where most of their desks were pushed together aside from the head pathologists (or at least her and devin's desks had been been three years ago) though she wasn't fond of the predominantly glass layout. it wasn't the entire office just the top half of the walls that had apparently been part of a redesign the year before (and there were blinds though they weren't down at the moment). there's swirling gray clouds in the sky, a wetness to the air that signaled rain that hadn't been forecasted for the day or even the week. and yet the sun too attempted in the distance to peek through, as if the weather was the personification of indecisiveness, unable to make up it's mind. doctor kalkan's fingers tighten on the trim, forcing the window closed before she offers the office across from hers a glance.

devin, examining something on his desk.

sometimes ariadne wondered how her life had become so complicated. sure, perhaps it'd always been complicated but the last few weeks had felt an ocean away from what she'd believed they'd be when she'd moved back to the states. she hadn't expected to see devin even if a part of her heart longed to, especially in the wake of loss. she missed him even if she was still reeling from the life she'd led in his absence. and now she's unsure where they stand now that truths were out in the open between them. she knows, they'll be part of each other's lives again but what that'd look like in this new landscape was still influx. they'd both kept things from each other, perhaps to protect each other yet still had chosen to not tell the other. and how ironic it was that in the grand scheme of things there were elements of connection they hadn't even realized? a world connected in the worst ways and yet perhaps also in a way that could be their salvation.

had they met in that world, would they be who they are to each other now-- whatever exactly that is-- or would they have been ships passing in the night? maybe, somehow, had things gone differently they always would have found each other. it wasn't relevant now that their paths had become what they had and if this last case with the bprd was anything for her to go by, there was one more truth she had to reveal to him, one more thing that truly allowed their lives to be in the open; a foundation to sort out what the future was going to look like and maybe to understand each other in new ways. the existence of the supernatural wasn't as important as his reasons why and her telling him about her own ties that night at his apartment after virgil had finally allowed them a moment to speak openly again. but now, with him working so closely with her again.. when their worlds, all of aspects of it were melding into each other?

ariadne moves back across the office toward a filing cabinet, shaking her head to refocus. it's moments later the air shifts, a kind of chaotic charge as her door opens and her expression shifts, her body becoming tense.

the weather, she should have known.

"i have nothing to say to you osman." she states, tone clipped as she slams the cabinet closed in a way that's likely to be heard outside of the office. she doesn't have to ask him how he got inside even if he walks across the space to her desk and places someone's keycard he likely compelled for onto the desk.

the next few minutes feel an eternity, her attempt to force him to leave immediately circumvented by whatever he'd said that had made her lose her breath and her head pound. a part of her wants to hit him, shove him, throw him out of her office for the audacity of coming there, yet she doesn't. whatever is being said has shifted into turkish and at one point their voices raise and he steps closer to her, pausing as her scent overwhelms his senses and his eyes darken for a moment. reminding her he was a vampire, an angry vampire. yet there's surprise when he seems to catch himself and step back, taking a breath and calming himself. she's thankful it was in-between a main shift change and there were few in the office sans devin who's office she's made a point not to look at.

'hate me if you must, but i don't think you do even if you want to. we're all that's left of him and i've got business with nikolaos, i'll be around awhile.' osman's parting words as he walks passed her through the door she's opened cause her to lose her breath again, only finding it when she's returned enough to herself to see that he's gone. warmth finds her arm, sun reflecting into the room as the storm clouds seem to dissipate. she lets out a breath, daring to look toward devin's office even though she's felt his gaze upon her for some time. yeah, they needed to talk.

ariadne moves toward his office, a million thoughts flooding through her mind. she knows, even if they had kept things from each other, he knows her. knows her expressions and how her eyes shift in color slightly when she's about to cry. she nearly feels as if she's going to now, overwhelmed, her emotions a raw live wire, but she holds it in.

"devin, i need to tell you something. maybe i should have when we talked before but that was already.. alot. i-- are you done with that for the day? can we-- there's a park not far. or the car.. yours or mine. or-- we need to talk about something. i need to tell you about something and it'll explain that case i was working on last week too in as much as i can. but we need to talk today. just-- not here." maybe people were right when they said she had a tendency to ramble when she was feeling her emotions strongly.

[greensparty]

Movie Reviews: Lynch/Oz and Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

This week I got to review 2 films, one narrative and one documentary:

Lynch/Oz

Alexandre O. Philippe has very quietly become one of the great pop culture documentarians of our time. The People Vs. George Lucas looked at the love/hate relationship between Lucas and his fans, Doc of the Dead looked at zombies in pop culture, 78/52 examined the shower scene in Psycho (read my review here), and Leap of Faith was William Friedkin talking about making The Exorcist (read my review here). But more than any subject Philippe is examining, his films are really a thesis about what it is to be a film geek who is fanatical about a film, filmmaker or genre. Now he is after an iconic filmmaker David Lynch and his connection to an iconic film The Wizard of Oz with the new doc Lynch/Oz, opening this week.

movie poster

The overall doc is examining the influence that Oz had on Lynch and his work. Structurally it is set up into chapters, where each one has a different commentator (John Waters, Rodney Ascher,  Karyn Kusama and more) examining their perspective on that influence, intercutting with clips from Oz and Lynch’s films as well as other films. 

This reminded me a ton of Rodney Ascher’s brilliant doc Room 237, where he examines theories and interpretations of The Shining each with a different commentator you don’t see only hear and they are connecting dots that may or may not be there, but you’re intrigued nonetheless. So it made perfect sense that Ascher was a commentator. Going into this, the immediate film I thought of was Lynch’s Wild at Heart, which is literally and visually referencing Oz. But after watching this doc, I feel like Oz’s DNA is all over so much of Lynch’s work in more ways than I saw upon first viewing. This is definitely a treat for fans of Lynch, but at times it might get a little academic for non-fans. But for someone like me who has inhaled so much of Lynch’s work, it’s worth checking out!

For info on Lynch/Oz: https://exhibitapictures.com/films/lynchoz/

4 out of 5 stars

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

After countless iterations of Spider-Man movies (i.e. Sam Raimi’s trilogy, Marc Webb’s reboot, and Jon Watt’s reboot that plays into the MCU), 2018′s Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse was an animated story of Miles Morales and how he becomes Spider-Man in his universe and how he connects with other Spider People in parallel universes to defeat Kingpin. It was a breath of fresh air: the same Spider-Man story we’ve seen countless times already was now new again in a fresh, charming, and fun ride. Best of all, because it was about parallel universes, it didn’t disrupt the existing live-action Spider-Man movies of the last few years, so there was no confusion for fans. Into the Spider-Verse won an Oscar for Best Animated Feature and I named it my #7 Movie of 2018. Now the sequel Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse opens today.

movie poster

Before I get into this movie, let me say I always try to avoid spoilers in movie reviews. That is going to be a challenge here. It’s not just about avoiding giving away the ending, there’s so much in the beginning and middle as well that are surprises and I don’t want to give too much away to ruin the fun. Here it goes: In this universe, Miles is a teen getting used to being Spider-Man. As he goes into other universes he meets with other Spider-People too. There is a master plan and when any Spider-Person does something that veers from that plan it could unravel the fabric of history. Other films like Back to the Future and that episode of Star Trek where they go back in time, have addressed this very same concept, but this one is packing it with more action and colorful visuals.

With my movie reviews, I usually attend press screenings (sometimes screeners), and for this particular one I got to bring my son, who is 7 and loved the last Spider-Verse movie. It was such a treat to be able to bring him and enjoy this movie with him! I did not feel like this was nearly as impressive a Into the Spider-Verse, but it definitely sustained the originality of the last one and more than anything there’s a sense of fun amidst the complex storylines and theories. For a big Summer franchise sequel, you could do a lot worse. Now (semi-spoiler ahead), this does suffer a little from middle-movie syndrome, where there’s no really beginning and no real ending unless you’re watching the trilogy as a whole. It’s hard for me to get critical without giving much away, but I kind of wanted some closure the way the other Spider-Man movies are stand-alone movies. Having said all this, this is one of the best super hero movies I’m likely to see this year!

For info on Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse: https://www.acrossthespiderverse.movie/

4 out of 5 stars

[tragedicna]

            a wry grimace takes to dan heng's lips at the mention of the previous tenant  ,  giving the air another sniff  ,  ❝  i kinda figured . . .  ❞  he mutters  ,  the scent was dank and sour  .  not at all pleasant to have around  .  dan heng has come across many alphas in his work  ,  and none smell this horrid  ,  not even the RUDE ones  .             dan heng looks between the pair  ,  despite being of the same secondary gender  —  where dan heng learned that alphas have a tendency to CLASH with one another  —  that didn't see to be the case for jing yuan and ren . . . the two of them  ,  as much it seemed like ren disliked jing yuan  ,  got along just fine with one another  .  perhaps dan heng is a bit ENVIOUS  ,  not that there were two perfectly viable alphas off the market  ,  but rather  ,  they had one another  .  had someone that understood them  .             opening the box  ,  he plucks a candle from inside  —  glad that it came with a box of matches so he didn't need to go searching for a lighter  —  he sets it on the kitchen counter and lights it  .  ❝  my friend . . . thought i might need it  ,  ❞  he mumbles softly  ,  ❝  it's like she can see the future  ,  ❞  he jokes softly  .  he's sure march 7th just got him the candle set because she couldn't think of any other housewarming gift to give  .  perhaps it's because she knew he was moving into another home  ,  one that's already been lived in  ,  so she wanted to help flood the space with a scent dan heng was familiar with  .  it's thoughtful  .  it's nice of her  .  dan heng makes a note to text her later about it  .             soft laughter leaves his lips  ,  ❝  you'd have a biased opinion  ,  being his mate . . . i only just met him today while you've known him a lifetime  ,  ❞  dan heng comments  ,  throwing away the used match  . washing his hands  ,  he watches as the pair settle on the floor  , comfortable . . . as if this was their own home  .  he hesitates a beat  ,  suddenly feeling much like a third wheel  ,  dan heng withholds a grimace before making an approach to the spread  .               watching jing yuan fuss with ren's hair  ,  dan heng pauses and looks towards one of the open boxes  ,  ❝  if your hair is a bother . . .  ❞  he says  ,  plucking a small box of hair clips  ,  ❝  they're not . . . the best  ,  but it'll help temporarily . . .  ❞  dan heng offers  .  he used to have long hair  ,  march 7th used to love fiddling with his hair and putting a bunch of accessories in it  .  with his work being more vigorous  ,  it was better to just keep it short and much to his best friend's despiar  ,  dan heng returned a week later with short hair and a bunch of useless hair accessories  .             finally deciding to settle down across the two  ,  ❝  no . . . not new to the city  ,  but to the area  ,  ❞  dan heng says  ,  he still has to gain his bearings on where the grocery store is  ,  where certain places are . . . the transportation  .  he watches the pair bicker for a moment  ,  ❝  how . . . long have you two been together  ??  ❞  dan heng suddenly asks  ,  curious to their relationship  .  they seemed to argue a lot  ,  but it lacked animosity  ,  as if it was just banter to pass time  ,  ❝  i — if you don't mind me asking  ,  you don't have to answer if you don't want to  .  ❞  he quickly adds  ,  maybe he's prying too much  .

ren lifted an eyebrow. jingyuan. helpful? now that was a new term he'd only apply if the two of them were together. he checked the omega out a bit longer before walking over to jingyuan, gently slapping his hips before shaking his head. he really had to go out of his way to help this poor omega settle in. both had decided they they would like to add someone to their life, but he had probably already blown every chance there was.

jingyuan lived very openly, even at work many already knew that the two of them were mates and not everyone looked upon them so kindly, but it was mostly omegas that were even more displeased than other alphas. something about opportunities being missed? ren did not understand, nor did he really care. he couldn't decide about who to fall in love with. what absolute nonsense.

"it really stinks of that last alpha... that shit couldn't behave around omegas, ever," ren told jingyuan, who only nodded with a slight smile. yes, he might have returned with a blue eye but it was absolutely worth it. the police also came to question him after that... incident, but at least the omega pleaded self-defense and that ren was only trying to help. maybe he just shouldn't get involved sometimes...

"no problem. they have a very nice scent. just like you." the last part slipped past his lips without another thought. jingyuan only grinned in the background, arms sneaking around the other alpha's waist from behind. ren pushed the alpha off of him within a few seconds before settling down on the ground, preparing a small blanket before putting the food on top of it. he didn't want to dirty another man's room after all.

"you're too kind to defend him, but i do agree. he can be helpful sometimes..." jingyuan took the space up next to ren, gently pushing his bangs aside because if there was one thing he hated, then it was the fact that ren always outgrew his bangs. he had such beautiful eyes but they were always hidden... "and at other times he can be absolutely annoying." jingyuan picked up the note to leave ren alone and started to fill the plates (courtesy to ren having understood they wanted to eat somewhere else) with food, gesturing for dan heng to join them.

"we wish you a good time here and you know, if someone ever bothers you, you can come to us." now, he really hoped nothing would ever happen but alphas still seemed to take omegas for granted. "you're not new to the city, are you? otherwise i am sure on of us can show you around."

"he's pushy, feel free to ignore him."

"in contrast to you i am trying to make someone feel welcome."

"rich kids like you have always kind of pissed me off."

[messers-moony]

Tomorrow | S.B

Paring: Sirius Black X Wife!Reader

Summary: James is nervous to marry Lily so he asks his best friend how he managed to marry his wife.

A/N: I know that this is vote number one instead of number two (which won) however, I decided to scrap what I had for number two because it wasn’t good. This is better and I’ll continue to rewrite number two until it’s to my standards. I hope you understand.

His hands were sweaty. He was nervously pulling his hair which received multiple slaps from his best friend for ruining his hair. James stepped foot in the full-length mirror readjusting his bow tie while Sirius stood behind him, chuckling at his nervous best friend.

James sighed, “How’d you do it, Pads?”

“Mm?”

“How did you marry Y/n?”

Sirius chuckled, “Have you turned daft?”

James tilted his head in confusion, “You were my best man! You were there the entire time.” Sirius replied playfully.

“No, no, I mean, how did you really do it? Like step on the altar and marry her?”

“I just did?” Sirius answered, and James gave him a look, “Bullshit.”

“Okay, fine! Fine!” Sirius relented, “I was practically shitting myself. Y/n means a lot to me, ya’ know?”

James was silent, letting his best friend rant about his wife, “Y/n means everything to me. She’s been with me through thick and thin. There’s nothing more I wanted than to marry her even if it was in the midst of this war.”

“You’ve been chasing Lily for years, mate. I can promise you that she wouldn’t have said yes if she didn’t really want to.” Sirius assured.

“You’re sure?” James inquired insecurely, “I’m one hundred percent sure.”

A knock resonated on the door with a soft voice on the other side, “It’s just me!”

The female voice on the other side of the door walked in, styled h/c hair and makeup placed upon her face. She was greeted with Sirius, and a hug pulled tightly into his chest. She saw James looking at them nervously, and she let go of Sirius to hug James tightly.

“You’re going to be okay? I promise.” She stated, pulling apart to look at his hazel eyes, “Lily loves you. Godric, she loves you more than anything!”

“Thanks, Y/n.” James smiled softly, and Y/n pulled her lips to his ear to whisper, “Lily’s liked you since second year.”

James and Y/n laughed as they pulled apart, “But that stays between us!”

“Oi!” Sirius interjected playfully, “Taking my wife, are you?”

“Never.” James replied smiling, all nerves having left, “Thank you both for being here. Seriously it means a lot to me.”

They smiled, “Anytime.”

Someone cracked open the door and spoke, “We need the maid of honor and the best man so we can start.”

“Suppose that’ll be us?” Sirius questioned teasingly, “I think so.” Y/n smiled.

Y/n kissed James’ cheek, “You’ll do fine, and we’ll see you soon.”

“Of course, Mrs.Black.”

Sirius wrapped his arm around Y/n as they walked out to the aisle and altar. Sirius took his spot on the right and Y/n on the left. Smiling at each other from the side, remembering what it was like only a few months ago when they got married. When Lily was in the maid of honor spot and James was in the best man spot. Now roles were reversed.

James stepped out, gaining a reassuring smile from them both. Lily following not too far after with her father. James and Lily looked like lovesick puppies. It was adorable. Vows were exchanged, and tears were shed, especially from James and Lily. On the alter, someone took pictures of the four of them together. Sirius told an absurd joke making them all laugh. A picture was taken at the exact moment.

It was nice. Y/n and Sirius sat at a table together. His arm was around her shoulders as they watched their best friends dance together and laugh together. Sirius took the clips out of his wife’s hair and scratched her scalp, causing her to move into his hand. Multiple hours of clips in Y/n’s hair gave her headache, and Sirius was relieving it.

“Feel nice, love?”

“Yes, these bloody clips. Make sure you save them. I’m going to throw them at Lily later.” Y/n stated, and Sirius chuckled, “Mhm, okay.”

Hours later, James and Lily began to act like fools. Y/n picked up one of the clips from the table, aiming precisely with some help from Sirius - a former Quidditch Beater - and threw it at her. At first, she didn’t notice, but after the third one, she did. The smile on her face was unmistakable.

Lily picked up the three clips and turned toward her maid of honor with her hair down completely. Another one was thrown at her, and Lily laughed loudly. Then one was thrown at Y/n and Sirius. Fortunately, Lily threw it and missed Y/n completely, instead hitting Sirius right in the face. James, Lily, and Y/n were laughing like the only people in the building.

“Oi!” Sirius yelled, “Control your wife, Prongs!”

Y/n stood up, reaching a hand out for Sirius, “C’mon Siri. Let’s go join them.”

Sirius smirked and took her hand, joining their best friend dancing together, jumping around like fifth-year Gryffindors in the common room. They looked like complete idiots, but that didn’t matter. Lily and Y/n holding hands, twirling each other around, laughing together. James and Sirius began to throw the clips at each other. Remus and Peter were on the side watching the idiots.

Lily and Y/n traded. Y/n danced with James, and Lily danced with Sirius. The girls could remember back in sixth year complaining about their boyfriends in the girl's dorms but always remembering that they love their idiots. When the night was over, just the four of them at Godrics Hollow, they just laughed the night away.

“So, Mrs.Potter, how’s it feel?” Y/n teased, “Surprisingly, it feels great.” Lily replied.

“How about you, Mrs.Black?”

“Being married to Sirius is a dream.” Y/n joked, “No, no, but in all seriousness, he’s delightful, sweeter than I imagined.”

Lily’s eyebrows quirked, “What’s he like?”

“Perfect?” Y/n replied, “Does laundry, cooks, cleans, makes my coffee every morning before order stuff?”

“Mother of Merlin! I never would’ve expected-“ Lily exclaimed, “I know! It’s crazy!” Y/n interrupted.

“We got lucky, didn’t we?”

“Indeed we did, sister.”

They clinked their glasses of firewhiskey together. Both girls finally married, finally together. Lily and Y/n hit the motherload with their husbands. Both were gentlemen and chivalry experts. Both girls fell asleep together on the couch, leaving both boys to bring them to bed. Sirius and Y/n in the guest bedroom. James and Lily in their bedroom.

The following morning the four of them woke up. Lily and Y/n were making breakfast while the two men tried to help despite having no knowledge of cooking. Two hours later, breakfast was made and being eaten at the dinner table. Clinks of forks and sounds of chewing were the only sounds coming from the table.

Until Sirius spoke up, “So, how was yesterday, newlyweds?”

“Perfect.” James answered, Sirius then turned to Lily, “Despite everything going on, I think we really needed it.”

Y/n nodded, “Completely agree. It was nice to let loose for a couple of hours.”

The conversation then went quiet, “I don’t know what I’d do without you guys.” Said James solemnly.

“Yesterday was great, but what we don’t know is the future, and I know that right now it’s a dark time. It’s probably one of the lowest points I’ve been in my life. My parents being terribly sick, the Dark Lord on the rise supposedly. Everything seems to be going in a downhill spiral.”

“But for the first time in months, yesterday I felt like a first-year at Hogwarts performing my first prank. I felt like that second-year who blew up Y/n’s cauldron for fun. The third-year who decided it’d be a brilliant idea to dye Sirius’ hair pink.” James stated as everyone laughed, “Let’s just say I didn’t have hair for a week.” He murmured.

“Fourth year when I stole Remus’ book, and he nearly killed me. Fifth-year, when I turned into an animagus for Moony. Sixth year when Lily finally decided to give me a chance. Seventh year when we blew up fireworks in the Great Hall for the graduating class of 1978.”

“Not knowing what tomorrow brings leaves us anxious and nervous. But there’s one thing I’m sure of.” James informed, “That if anything ever happens to me, just know, that every second we’ve spent together, every memory we have together, I hold them close to my heart. They all mean something to me. Even if it’s as simple as sitting in the common room together.”

“James-“

“I’m not finished.” He interrupted, “This is a scary time, but I’ve always been certain of one thing, that thing is you guys. You guys have always been constants in my life. Always been there for me through thick and thin. Sirius being my brother, Lily being my wife, and Y/n being the little sister I never got and my shoulder to cry on.”

Y/n chuckled, “Hey!”

“I still love you.” James replied teasingly through his tears, and she smiled, “I know, Prongs.”

“I’ll eventually have to repeat the same speech to Moony and Wormtail, but for right now, I haven’t felt happier. I wanted to say all of this at the wedding, but Lily didn’t want to dampen anyone’s mood, which I understand. Yesterday was a breath of fresh air for what’s to come.”

“But tomorrow, we will all go back to our Order missions and meetings. One thing I can be sure of is that I can always trust you guys, through and through. If for some reason something happens to me, just know I love you guys.”

“We love you too, James.” Lily replied.

Sirius sniffled and smiled through his teary eyes, “Nothing will happen to you guys. Not with me here. You guys have given me too much to let you guys go without a fight.”

“And that’s why we love you, Padfoot.” James stated, smiling at him.

“Everything will be okay. We’ll get through this.” Y/n said with hopeful optimism that would always brighten her friend's days.

[outerbankies]

new light part 4: underneath the moonlight — rafe cameron

new light series masterlist

summary: you and rafe meet the parents (properly) and go to midsummers together, but not everyone is as smitten with your relationship as you two are.

pairing: rafe x kook reader

warnings: drinking, swearing

a/n: say hello to a few characters (tw: ward) i have had yet to feature thus far 🤗 more of y/n being besties with kelce (and topper this time—our fave obx himbo) there’s a lil drama in this part y’all... into the thick of it. thanks for all the feedback 💖not canon rafe

my writing

yeah if you give me just one night, to meet you underneath the moonlight

You’re startled awake by a loud knock on your bedroom door. You’re squished between 6 feet and 3 inches worth of boy and the pink wall your bed is pushed up against. Rafe always insisted on laying on your outer side, closest to the door of your bedroom. Which means you often woke up pressed into the wall, your neck sometimes aching from the awkward angle. Not to mention Wilbur always taking up the space at your feet, Rafe usually nudging him into your space so he could stretch out.

Rafe stirs also, making sleepy noises and stretching his legs where they hang off the end of your bed. He grumbles and smacks his lips together a few times, your hand instinctively coming to rub along his jaw. His eyes flutter open as the sun streams in through your window, illuminating the hint of golden stubble on his chin. You’d only slept over together a few times, since you were both staying with your parents for the summer, so it’s always nice to wake up with your boy in your bed.

Oh fuck. Your boy is in your bed.

Rafe's eyes widen at the same time as yours.

“Oh shit, we fell asleep?” he whispers, head whipping around your room.

“Fuck, you have to hide right now,” you whisper, stumbling through your thoughts sleepily.

Another knock sounds from the door.

You extract yourself from your spot between Rafe and the wall, his hands guiding you by your hips as you tumble over him.

“Just, fuck, just like—get under the covers or something. God, I hope it’s not my dad,” you whisper.

“Me too,” he says, slinking into the gap between your bed and the wall as best he can, covering his face with a pillow.

You check that he’s concealed enough, turning to open the door just the slightest bit. Dylan stands in the crack.

“We have brunch at the Club in an hour, mom wanted me to ask if you invited Rafe,” he peers around you, gaze moving to behind your shoulder. “Or I could just ask him myself. Sup, Rafe?”

“Shut the fuck up, Dyl,” you whisper-shout. “Where are mom and dad? Can he sneak out the back? And don’t lie to me, or I’ll tell them about Hilton Head.”

“God, calm down. Dad’s in the garage and mom’s getting ready. Just have him go now.”

“Thanks,” you say, all but slamming the door in his face. You turn around and press your back against the door, letting out a shaky breath.

The covers rustle, and Rafe springs out of your bed to gather his things while Wilbur watches him. He always starts pouting when he notices that Rafe is putting on his hat or shoes, signs that he’s about to leave.

“We are so dead.”

“You don’t think he’ll say anything, do you? I don’t think I can sit at brunch with your dad in an hour if he knows I slept in your bed last night.”

“Not if he’s smart,” you sigh. “Want me to walk you out?”

“No, I got it. Just keep Willy in here. I’ll text you when I make it out alive. If you don’t hear from me, just assume your father murdered me,” he jokes, leaning down to give you a kiss after he slips his shoes on. “See you back here in an hour?”

“Yes, please be early. And clean shaven.”

“Yes ma’am. And don’t insult me,” he mumbles against your lips.

“Nervous?”

“Not nearly as nervous as I will be if I get caught, sweetheart. Gotta go so I have time to shower—and shave. See you in a bit.”

He gives you one last kiss before he departs, and you move to the window with Wilbur to watch him slink across the backyard, arms crossed and a fond grin on your face. He turns and blows you one last kiss before he disappears around the side of your house.

—

“Y/n, can I speak to you for a second?”

Your dad’s voice comes from his study as you pass by, checking yourself over in the entryway mirror one more time. Rafe should be here any minute.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“Come sit,” he says, gesturing to one of the chairs in front of his desk. You feel the hair stand up on the back of your neck. Your dad only invited you to talk in his study if it was something serious. The last time he did was when he told you he was going to take away your Range Rover if you didn’t pull your Bs up to As your freshman year of college. You’ve had a 4.0 ever since.

“Is everything alright?”

“Yes, everything’s fine. Just wanted to talk about the new boyfriend.”

“What about him?”

“I always knew of him while the two of you were growing up. But I talked to him a bit back during Dylan’s grad week.”

As an unruly teenager and the rightful heir to his father's business, everyone in the Outer Banks knew about Rafe and his antics. Good or bad. You could even recall your mom gossiping to your dad, words passed on from Rose, about some of his more... notable incidences.

“Y-yeah, he's...” you trail off, searching for the right words to describe Rafe these days.

“Seems like a good kid,” your dad supplies.

“What did you guys talk about?”

“Business, mostly. His future and whatnot.”

“Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?”

“No, I just wonder... are you sure about this one? When you were kids, that boy was always causing trouble. And you know your mother and I were always so proud of how you stayed in line.”

“I know,” you sigh. “But Rafe’s not a boy anymore. Just give him a chance.”

“I will,” your dad says, slapping his knees to stand up. “But I'm also gonna give him a hard time.”

“Dad, please.”

“It’s my job. Your mom gets to freak out about Dylan moving out, and I get to handle scaring every man who gets to look at you.”

The doorbell rings.

“Please. I am literally begging.”

Your dad draws a fake halo around his head, and you just roll your eyes.

The morning gets off to an even more embarrassing start as soon as Rafe crosses the threshold into your house. Wilbur jumps into his arms immediately, all ninety pounds of him, and your mom’s eyes widen.

“My goodness, he’s usually so hesitant around strangers!”

Dylan chokes on a laugh, and if you weren’t across the room you’d have elbowed him in the ribs.

“Oh, I’ve walked Wilbur by Tanneyhill before.”

“Yeah, I-I love Willy. Mrs. Y/l/n, it’s so nice to see you again,” Rafe says, effortlessly following your lead after Wilbur scampers out of his hold. He shakes your mom’s hand politely. Your dad sidles up to her then, fixing Rafe with a stare harder than you’d prefer. “Mr. Y/l/n, you as well. Thanks again, to both of you, for inviting me.”

“Good to see you, Rafe,” your dad says, a strong hand clamping onto his shoulder. “Dylan, come say hi.”

Dylan’s grin is devilish, and you're just watching on in pure horror at this point. “How have you been, Rafe? Haven’t seen you in a while.”

—

Rafe’s grinning ear to ear, hand firm on your thigh, all of the windows in his truck rolled down. He even popped the sun roof, letting you blast your playlist all the way down the road.

“Okay—I just... did that go well?”

“You did great, Rafe.”

Despite Dylan's best efforts to embarrass you two, brunch had gone really well. Your dad took a second to let his guard down, unlike your mother who was immediately gushing over him. You could practically see the wheels in her head turning, the wedding colors she'd picked for you. And your dad came around quick enough once Rafe brought up Formula 1.

Your boyfriend looks so relieved, hand even coming to feel the air pass through his fingers as he hangs his arm out the window, hand on your thigh coming back up to steady the wheel. He taps on it excitedly.

“Lowkey, feel like I nailed it, baby.”

“Okay,” you giggle, leaning over to peck his check. You pull him in with a soft hand to the other side of his face. “Let’s not get too big for our britches.”

“Oh, I’m a parent-meeting expert now. Might go into consulting.”

“You’ve perfected the sport?” you joke.

“No, no. That’s—I’ve never actually met parents before,” he admits.

“No way?”

“Way? Have you?” he asks, slight edge seeping into his tone as he pulls up to the stoplight outside of your favorite coffee spot.

“Uh... once. We weren’t even really dating yet, but they came to visit and he like, ambushed me with them at dinner. They were kinda hippies, though.”

“Yeah?” His tone is clipped as he parks his truck.

“Yeah, some guy from my comparative literature class sophomore year,” you sigh. “But, you’re the first to meet my parents.”

“Mm,” he hums, fingers tapping on your knee. That satisfies him. He gathers one of your hands in his. “You coming in?”

“Will you just get me a latte? Kinda wanna call my mom and debrief.”

He laughs, kissing your knuckles. “I’ll give you a minute, sweetheart. Oat milk?”

—

Your original plans to meet the Camerons fell through, a last minute staging emergency arising when you were all supposed to go for dinner. You’d tried not to look down while Rafe attempted in earnest to cheer you up, telling you how pretty you looked while you took out your earrings and let your hair down. He'd kissed the crown of your hair and apologized profusely, promising they would love you when they finally got to meet you.

“M’not upset.”

“Okay.” His hand stroked your back through the thick cotton of one of his old water polo sweatshirts he’d let you borrow for the night.

“I’m just really nervous about meeting them. You might’ve set the bar a little too high with my parents.”

“You just have a great family.”

“I don’t know,” you said when you finally cracked a smile. “Made it pretty far on your first try.”

“Don’t worry. They’re going to love you, sweetheart.”

You let him kiss your cheek, your forehead, your nose and chin.

“Hope so.”

“Know so.”

And Rafe had somehow convinced your father to let you go to Midsummers with his family, promising to join up for pictures and greetings later. Your dad had willingly let him, to your surprise.

The event was a big deal to Figure 8 patriarchs and matriarchs alike, always trying to outdo the other in every way, all while feigning some sense of island camaraderie. But when Rafe had set aside time at brunch to specifically ask your family for their permission to accompany you to the event, they’d been hard pressed to say no. Your family immediately accepted Rafe as your boyfriend, any lingering hesitations about his character drowned out by the equal chances of your personal happiness and the heightening of their social and business profiles.

But he’d still come to your house to pick you up, ready to greet your parents in the foyer once again.

He takes one look at you in that blush pink dress, hair, makeup and jewelry all done up this time around, daisy flower crown in place, and flicks his eyes around his surroundings. Your father and Dylan were nowhere in sight, and your mother was busy fixing her earrings in the hall. He takes to your side immediately, a kiss to the side of your head followed by his lips pressing against your ear. “I’m fucking obsessed with you.”

With the high from those words, you ride in his truck to Midsummers, nerves never dissipating no matter how many reassurances he speaks across the summer air streaming in through the vehicle. “Remember, they’re gonna love you.”

He helps you down from his truck so you can focus on keeping your dress off the ground, assuring you for the fiftieth time that Rose is going to like your headpiece.

“Miss Y/l/n, how lovely to see you again you at last,” Ward sighs, sounding somewhat fond. “Rafe’s been talking my ear off about this, meeting you again even though we’ve already met. Sorry we couldn’t make it work earlier.”

“No worries, Mr. Cameron. Thank you so much for inviting me to tag along with your family at Midsummers. You as well, Mrs. Cameron. You look beautiful.”

“Thank you! And of course,” Rose says, bringing you in for a hug, one you definitely were not expecting.“You’re out in California, aren’t you?”

“Yes, home for the summer.”

“That’s a long way from here,” Ward says. His eyes flicker to Rafe. “Long way from Georgia. Shorter, but still a long way.”

“Dad, c’mon,” Rafe cuts in, and you can feel his hand gripping the back of your dress:

“He’s just stating the obvious, Rafe,” Rose intervenes.

“Yeah, it is far,” you agree. Rafe’s head whips around back to you.

“We’re figuring it out,” he says. To anyone else in the vicinity, he probably sounds confident and self assured. But you know Rafe, and you can look into his eyes and see that he’s not. That if he weren’t in front of his entire family, trying earnestly to impress his father, he’d have said: ‘we’re gonna figure it out, right?’

“I’m sure things will work out the way they’re meant to,” Ward says after a lapse in conversation. “One way or another.”

“Let’s get some photos so we can all enter and the two of you can run off,” Rose says immediately after, giving neither of you the time to say anything else.

You do your best to shake off Ward’s comment as the four of you join up with the Cameron daughters, plus Sarah’s boyfriend, John B. After posing for what felt like hours, the photographer asks you and John B to hop out so they can take some family pictures, the two of you swiping up a couple of Old Fashioneds from the bar. You have to assure Rafe twice that you’ll be okay for ten minutes on your own.

“First time meeting Ward?” Sarah’s boyfriend asks, leaned up against the bar like he owns the place.

“Er—of course not,” you say, like it’s obvious. But of course John B knew nothing about Figure 8 social circles. “Just the first time as Rafe’s girlfriend.”

“Yeah, you look nervous,” he admits, chuckling when your mouth drops open. “It’s not too obvious, I just know because—been in your shoes.”

You should be insulted that the teenager compares his and Sarah’s relationship with yours and Rafe’s, but you know he isn’t being malicious. You see nothing but kindness in his eyes. And it’s nice to have somewhat of a teammate in this situation, the two of you standing by while one of the most powerful families in Kildare poses together in their finest outfits.

Rafe looks hot in his grey suit, especially with the pocket square he’d agonized over for weeks before you gifted him one that was hand sewn from the extra material where your dress had been hemmed. Monogrammed, of course.

You’d decided to go with his initials, since it was going to him after all. But your stomach gets fluttery if you think about the expression on his face when he’d received it, telling you that you should’ve put yours on it instead. “That way everyone will know I’m yours.”

Turning back to John B, you can’t imagine how he must have felt the first time he was invited into all of this. It intimidated even you, and you’re pretty sure John B was friends with the boy who delivered your family’s groceries every week.

“Any tips?”

“You’re way better off than I was, first of all,” he laughs. “But he’s really only scary when it’s one-on-one. He cares too much about this appearance of a perfect family to make digs in front of an audience.”

You nod. “That’s actually really good advice, John B.”

“Don’t sound so surprised, kook.” He clinks his glass against yours, promptly throwing the entire drink back as you watch and laugh. “That’s another tip. Drink whenever you can.”

“I’m familiar with that one.”

It's intimidating entering the event, a little after everyone else has arrived. Rafe told you that was by design—the Camerons could never be earlier than fashionably late. You always assumed you and Rafe were raised with similar pedigrees, but you're barely through the doors of the event before you realize that's not entirely true. Up until the last millisecond, Rose is fussing with Sarah and Wheezie's gowns, the older daughter making eye contact with you and rolling her eyes at her step-mother's antics. And Ward brushes Rafe's shoulders off more times than you can count, straightening his bow tie for him repeatedly. Rafe just places his hand on your back, leaning down to whisper into your ear. “You ready?”

You smile up at him, but your nerves are firmly settled in at this point. What you reply isn’t completely true. “Of course.”

—

You take John B’s advice, of course, and choose Kelce as your designated drinking buddy for the night. He was hard to keep up with, but you threw your inhibitions to the wind after you got meeting the Camerons out of the way. Plus, Rafe had more business to attend to than he’d let on, and you were getting pretty bored. Not too long ago he would’ve been right beside the rest of you, causing trouble and borderline embarrassing all of your parents. It was weird to see him walking around, shaking hands and rubbing elbows. He’d invited you into a few conversations, you trying your hardest not to simply watch him in awe.

You’re engaged in some strange dance battle with Kelce when he stacks his drink into yours, both empties at this point. “Your turn to get a round.”

“Boo,” you sigh, throwing your head back. “What d’you want?”

“Surprise me.”

“Aye aye.”

You’re turning on a shaky high heel, and you have to give yourself a little mental pep talk to straighten up. Of course you can, though.

“What can I get you, miss?” the barkeep asks.

“Vodka press, Tito’s, and a Jack and coke. Double Jack. Actually—single. Thanks,” you murmur, trying to fish a ten out of your clutch.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got the tip for this one,” a voice says next to you. Ward Cameron is sidling up next to you, sliding a fifty across the counter. Your eyes widen at the tip, trying not to be embarrassed as the bartender sets the drinks down in front of you.

“Oh, thank you, Mr. Cameron.”

“Ah, call me Ward.” He flicks his eyes back to the bartender, who quickly pockets the tip and makes himself scarce to give the two of you some privacy. You can’t help but think of John B’s warning: ‘he’s really only scary when it’s one-on-one.’ There’s no point in even trying seek out Rafe, you knowing full well you’re expected to stay rooted to the spot until Ward dismisses you. “Having a good time?”

“Yeah,” you nod. “It’s always fun to come back out here for this.”

“So, California to Georgia,” he whistles. “That’s probably a five hour flight, at least.”

“Yeah, um,” you take a minute to make sure your flower crown is perfectly in place. “It’s actually two.”

“Excuse me?”

“Two flights. From his school to mine. Rafe checked, he said there’s nothing direct,” you clarify.

Ward let’s out an indifferent chuckle. “Of course he did.”

Your eyebrow furrows because you don’t know what to say, turning to look at where your drinks are starting to melt. Kelce would be wondering where you are by now if he wasn’t three sheets to the wind. And where the hell was Rafe?

“Y/n, as far as I can tell, you are a nice girl. I just need to make sure we’re on the same page about one thing.”

Your heartbeat that hadn’t really settled since Ward approached you is picking up again, and you really wish Rafe had been the least bit more concerned about where you were at this moment.

“Um, I-I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about.”

“I'm don’t know how serious you two are, Y/n, but I know my son. He's clearly very invested in pursuing you.”

Your resolve crumbles a little at that, your heart warming, thinking about Ward noticing something like that.

“But Rafe needs to be committed to finishing this degree so he can come home and start learning the ropes next year. And in four years, Sarah will do the same. Then Louisa after her.”

“Wow, that’s so lucky for you—that they all want to go into the family business,” you praise, not really knowing what else to say. It must be the wrong thing, because Ward just quirks an eyebrow.

“In this family, our business will always come first. Before anything and anyone else. Do you see what I’m getting at?”

You swallow, catching on to where this is going for the first time. You still go for playing dumb.

“Ward, I really don't think I understand.”

“But you do, don't you? You know Rafe. He’s a bit emotional, he’s a ‘feeler,’” Ward says sarcastically, putting it in air quotes. All of the niceties you experienced earlier when you first greeted Rafe’s family were long gone. You can only gather that it was all an act for Rafe’s benefit. But you know the only option is to sit there and take it. “He thinks with his heart, never enough with his head. Sarah, for example—when it’s time for her to cut that pogue lose, which it will be soon enough, I know she will. Whether it’s my decision or her’s. I can count on that, because she’s just like me in that respect; she knows we have to make sacrifices. But Rafe—I don’t think I can make that same assumption about him.”

“Ward, with all due respect, Rafe is really focused on the business.”

“You're correct, and I’ve worked hard to get him there. Which is why I can't have him spending his senior year of college, when he should be buckled down, traveling back and forth from California and getting distracted from his future by some girl.”

“Mr. Cameron, I would never—”

“You know that it’s true. I can tell you’re bright. You come from a great family.” It’s a compliment and an insult all at once. He likes you because of your father’s business and your mother’s social status, not because of what you do for Rafe, or what you have to show for yourself. He continues like it was nothing but the highest praise. “But right now, you are across the country from him, and I can bet he’s determined to make that work, no matter what it takes. Which I obviously can’t have,” Ward sighs. “It’s just not the right time. You can understand that, can't you?”

You nod numbly and pick up your drinks, hoping he’ll get the signal to wrap this up soon. You’re at the point where you can’t listen to this anymore, liquid courage re-flooding your veins.

“I’m not asking you to stay away from him, because you’re both adults,” Ward says, stopping you with a hand on your shoulder. “But I’m asking you to think long and hard about what’s best for the both of you. Rafe already knows what’s expected of him. He’s always known.”

You look back towards the crowd under the gazebo, able to make out John B of all people. He sees you talking to Ward, shooting you the most subtle thumbs up he can muster. He has no idea. You don’t take the chance to nod at him, turning back to the bar.

“Say the two of you let it go for the school year,” Ward bulldozes, taking a step closer to you. “And you end up back here too, great. But even then Rafe’s going to be working all the time, the longest hours he ever will in his life. For the next few years, Y/n. You’re so young—are you really going to tie yourself down to a commitment like that? What about your future?”

In a tone you hope comes across as confident, you say, “I really appreciate your concern, Ward.”

Ward's perfectly white teeth are pulling into an even more perfect grin, and the sight makes you sick.

“Great. I'm glad we had this talk.” He pats you on the back, leaving first before you get the chance to.

You just shuffle through the crowd numbly, not even reacting when someone steps on your toe, taking it all in stride as you seek the comfort of your friends once again.

You were foolish to think Ward would warm up to you immediately, or at all. You had been way too confident in yourself, especially after witnessing the wear working for his father had on Rafe. ‘He’s not an easy man to please.’ How could you be so naive, thinking you could coast by on your charm?

You’re a few feet away when you notice that Topper had joined up with Kelce again, as had your boyfriend. He’s joking with them, amused at the way Topper is clearly almost done tolerating Kelce’s drunken antics, but you stand and watch for a bit as he scans the crowd, gaze flickering toward the bar you’d just been at. You realize he’s looking for you when he finally spots you, his face relaxing as the two of you make eye contact.

“There you are.” He pulls you in close, kissing your forehead. You want to cry. “Where’d you run off to? One of those for me?”

He’s gesturing to the drinks you’re holding, reaching for the darker of the two. But Kelce is swooping in, snatching it out of your hold quickly. “Nope,” he pops the ‘p.’ “This one’s all mine. Sorry Cameron. Thanks Y/n/n.”

Rafe just rolls his eyes at the two of you, eyes lingering on your face when he notices your fallen expression. He sets your other drink down on the high top table you’re all standing next to, pulling you in by your hips. “You okay?”

If you had a choice right now, about how to proceed with telling or not telling Rafe about what had just happened, your instincts compel you to bypass the decision process altogether; you paint a careful smile on your face, shaking your head slightly. “Yeah, all good. Just zoned out for a sec.”

He isn’t convinced. “Tired?”

“Maybe a little. Kinda drunk. Are we leaving soon?” you ask, melting into him. It’s a lot easier to handle his tone of voice when you don’t have to look him directly in the eye.

“I vote yes,” Topper says, gesturing towards Kelce, who is somehow sucking down his new drink at an alarming pace while continuing to dance to the oldies tunes they play at these things. “Like, right now. Rafe, you’re hanging back right?”

You look back up at your boyfriend in confusion. “You’re not coming with us?”

He bite his lip in contemplation, looking around the party. The twinkly lights reflect off of his pupils, making him look starry-eyed as he surveys the crowd. A sea of opportunities to prove himself to his father. Rafe looks resolved when he turns back to you.

“Well... I was gonna stay, wrap up some stuff,” he explains. His eyes flicker across your face, still not pleased with your expression. “But that’s okay, I’m good to go now.”

“No, Rafe,” you say immediately. You take a deep breath, rolling back your shoulders and painting on a smile that comes easily with years of experience at parties like this. “Stay, I’ll go ahead. How long will you be?”

“An hour, tops. Will you take her?” Rafe looks hesitant, still taking your green light anyway, already slowly extracting himself from your hold, Topper rolling his eyes but nodding and beginning to corral Kelce toward the exit.

“I can’t believe you’re making me babysit two of them.”

“Don’t let her drink too much.”

“Hey,” you protest, pushing him in his chest half heartedly. The push barely does anything, only proving your impaired motor skills further. Or that you're dating a tree. “What are you, a cop?”

“I’m your boyfriend, actually.”

“Really? When did that happen?” you decide to play along, picking up your drink again.

“‘Bout a month ago, Y/l/n,” he says softly. He can see right through you, can tell you're putting on a show for all of your friends but you're still not okay. You have to break eye contact.

“Hmm, for some reason I thought you were just this guy from middle school.”

“At least this time nobody spilled on your dress,” he teases half-heartedly, and the memory only hurts you more. “Not sure I’d wanna sacrifice this one.”

“Can you—you guys are the worst. Focus. We need to go now, before Kelce gets his entire family blacklisted from the club. You coming or not, Y/n/n?” Topper begs.

You’re nodding, leaning up to give Rafe one last kiss before you leave. He holds you close to him with a firm hand on your back, voice dropping to a whisper right next to your ear. “You’re sure you’re okay?”

The lump in your throat is growing, but you push through, lowering yourself back down to your feet as soon as you can. “Yeah, don’t worry about it. Focus on the rest of your night.”

Rafe still looks unsure, his hand resting on the nape of your neck as he kisses your forehead. “Y/n—”

“We’ll talk about it later, okay?” you finally admit. Rafe nods curtly, can tell you’re not going to let him leave with you right now. But he doesn’t know why. He doesn’t know that if you pull him away from his responsibilities right after that talk you had with Ward, it’s going to spell disaster for the two of you.

“Just some business stuff, alright?” he assures you. “I’ll see you soon. Forty-five minutes.”

“Promise?” you murmur, fiddling with his pocket square. He smiles down at you, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

“Promise. You look so pretty. Half an hour. Now go.”

Topper’s guiding you towards the parking lot with a polite hand on your back, but you have to watch Rafe as you leave. You watch him approach his dad, who gives him a smile and a pat on the back. Rafe preens under his gaze.

But Ward must have been watching you two from afar because his gaze is flickering back to you, and he fixes you with a hard stare. He raises his eyebrows, bringing his drink to his lips. Taking a leisurely sip, hint of a smirk on his face. You can practically hear his thoughts: ‘Rafe chose to stay here with me, with the business, and sent you off with his friends.’ It’s everything in you to not let the tears that have been building on your waterline spill over. But your friend isn’t easily fooled.

“Y’alright, Y/n?” Topper says from beside you, trusting Kelce enough to walk on his own as you all near the parking lot. He moves to follow your gaze but you stop him, quickening your pace towards his gray Jeep. “Did something happen?”

“Ward Cameron happened.”

———

tags: @moniamaybank @downbytheouterbanks @littlementalpolaroids

[annalis-e--shadowofpanem]

ofcarnvge​:

Unarmed

Go go didn’t bother going to a cabin. Privacy was a luxury she had lived without for years, so she felt little need of it. Shrugging her jacket off she stretched out on the sofa in the open part of the plane and tried to clear her mind. 

She had faith that The Shadows could do what they said, that O-ren’s condition was reversible. But what then? Everything had happened so fast, and to the best of Go go’s knowledge Beatrix knew nothing about what had transpired.

Would she be relieved that the path to her daughter had been cut clear? Or would she feel regret that she hadn’t cut it herself? But the worse question was; if Beatrix came for O-ren, would she defend herself? Go go could not imagine a world where she stood back and allowed O-ren to be taken again, not after everything. 

She sighed and rolled over to face the back of the couch. Enough. One thing at a time. There was an ocean to cross for now, and more Shadows to get used to. It was still strange to be in their company, but already, Pan was entering that most exclusive and unusual group; people who Go Go Yubari genuinely cared for.

-

About eleven thousand miles away, in the small rooms above Hattori Hanzo’s sushi bar, a thick piece of bamboo clunked melodiously onto the floor in five smoothly cut pieces. Beatrix Kiddo let her sword arm fall to her side and examined the cuts. Not perfect, but she was getting better. Four years in a coma had done nothing for her muscle tone.

But she had always been driven. Much like her closest friend among the Vipers, she had had little in her life to skew her away from the singular, violent purpose of her occupation. At least, until four years ago.

Hanzosan had gone early to the forge that morning. The sword would be ready in about two weeks, and so would she.

-

Elle say across from O-ren, the smoke from her cigarette coiling up into the air. They were sitting in a hotel lobby they had once shared on a job about ten years ago. The place was the same, but the conversation was different.

“What are you doing here?” O-ren’s voice clipped with frustration. 

Elle breathed out smoke. “Y’know, it’s a good question. But you were always the smart one right? I’m Marley’s ghost, bitch.”

O-ren’s fingernails curved into the plush arms of the grey sofa. All around them the people moved to and fro, like the figures in a clockwork diorama from another time, another place.

“They got you?”

“Looks that way, but at least I always had the gall to stick to my convictions whereas you…you have changed directions more times than a weathervane Rabbit. How do you think this is going to pan out?”

“You’re not here.”

A stark laugh. Elle put the cigarette out on the ashtray on the coffee table.

“Yeah, maybe not. But that doesn’t change the fact that no amount of ‘good deeds’ is going to get you out of looking Bee in the eye.”

The former crime queen shot her colleague a daggered look. As much as she hated to admit it - it was the wisest thing she had ever heard Elle Driver say.

Blink.

The waters crashed into the streets. A library that stood in spite of everything buckled at its knees, and the proud structure was swept away while the rising tides redrew the map to fit it’s vision.

Blink.

An old cat traversed a narrow hallway before turning the corner into the bathroom. Effortlessly, he leapt onto the counter to join the young girl, who smiled and wept at her own reflection. The girl and her reflection bore different names.

Blink. 

A single kunai knife. One of many hidden in just as many pant pockets. Held against a collarbone in a threat, but slicing through fabric and nicking skin in a manner one would assuming was teasing.

Blinking was like changing the channel. The future here, the past there, the present afterwards... Pan hated how fascinated she was by it. It was still very much a “gift” forced upon her but her disdain for the fact wouldn’t survive the plane ride home. The reprimand she owed Cyanne would be hollow and laced with false anger.

It was a only a feeling, but Pan saw even this.

“Are you ok?”

Pan blinked once more and found herself lying between two chairs with Amy looking over her, small glassed of a brightly colored drink in both of her hands. Pan sat herself up and when she was offered the glass, she didn’t hesitate to take it. The scent of alcohol was noticeably absent, but the flavor was divine. 

“I’m sorry I yelled at you.” Pan drank heartily from the glass. “I understand that I haven’t been dealing with this in the most healthy way, and that I ended up pushing away the people I care about most in the process. So it means alot to me that you fought to be here, fought to help me see the truth.”

Amy hesitated. She put her glass down on the table. “I know we had more rivalry than friendship growing up, but I do care. Me, Eleanor, hell--even Cereza, we weren’t gonna let you do this alone.” Amy leaned forward. “We never wanted you to feel like your were railroaded. But the one person you need to be with right now isn’t it Tokyo. Not in Texas either.”

A weary nod from Pan. 

“Just talk to her. The rest of us, we’ll help you get this O-Ren situation sorted out. And anything else you’d want to do.”

“...thank you.” Pan felt the warmness of Amy’s palm atop her hand and, for the first time, wasn’t afraid of sleep. Amy stood and started to walk when Pan reached for Amy. “Just in case we are being tailed....you wouldn’t be in possession of any kunai knives, would you?”

Bewildered, Amy scoffed. “Is that a trick question?”

Pan smiled deviously and curled up into her chair. “Just checking.”

[helloalycia]

The Wrong Lifetime — Fourteen // Wanda Maximoff

chapter thirteen | story masterlist | main masterlist | wattpad | epilogue

author’s note: the last chapter is finally here! i hope you like it 😊

There were many times when I'd get distracted by thoughts of Wanda.

I could be going for a walk and remember that time she tripped over the flat pavement, almost bringing me down with her. I could be shopping for stationary and remember that time she almost bought the whole shop in one visit. I could be sitting by the water fountain and remember that time she tried to make a wish, only to drop her whole purse in it.

This time, I'd just woken up to the sun streaming through my curtains. I rolled over to an empty bed, hand brushing against the cold sheets as they expected more. For some reason, my subconscious decided to taunt me with a memory taking place just after we'd first made love in her room...

"I love you so much," Wanda told me with an enchanting smile.

I turned to face her, one arm comfortable under the pillow as the other rested outside the duvet, covering my bare chest. She raised her hand, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear before resting her hand there. I smiled at the contact and felt a warmth spreading all over me at the affectionate gaze she sent my way.

"I know, love, you only said it several times," I teased lightly, making her chuckle. "I love you, too, though, in case you didn't know."

She sighed contently, eyes closing. I admired how beautiful she looked with her hair sprawled over her bare shoulders, smile on her lips and freckles dusting her skin. Her touch still ghosted my body, taste still embedded between my lips, scent still wavering in my nose. She was permanent and I was certain she'd never leave.

"We should probably get up in case somebody comes to check on us," she said, interrupting my moment of admiration.

Her eyes flickered open slowly, blue with golden flecks glistening right back at me. Suddenly, anything that happened after this didn't matter to me. For once, I appreciated where we were, what we had and nothing more or less. No wedding, no future... just now.

"We should," I agreed regretfully, though her leg moved closer to mine and made me wish we could stay here longer. "I wish we didn't have to."

She smiled halfheartedly, hand moving down my cheek, caressing the skin, before they rested at my chin. She outlined my lips with her thumb before leaning forward and stealing a kiss.

"Can't we have a few more minutes?" she asked, lips brushing mine as she spoke.

She was making it very hard to deny her and judging from the playful smirk on her lips, she knew that.

"I guess we can," I agreed quietly, making her smile with satisfaction.

She rolled on top of me, capturing my lips in a kiss as her bare chest pressed to mine and my hand found her waist for support. As usual, the effect she had on me was indescribable and I couldn't imagine us ever leaving the bed. I knew for sure that I'd never been happier than I was in that moment.

It was such a perfect moment, but it haunted me. Nothing felt right without her. She'd overwhelmed all of my senses and remained, even when I didn't have her by me in person. The wedding was literally in a few weeks, but I hadn't managed to get over her.

How could I be her maid of honour when I could barely speak to her? Not without wanting to curl in a ball and cry afterwards. Every thing I did seemed to be filled with memories of her. She was inescapable.

A groan left my lips as I dragged my hand down my face with frustration. I couldn't let her get to me yet again. I had an interview with the local paper today. The last thing I needed was Wanda as a distraction.

So, with that lovely thought lingering in my mind, I dragged myself out of bed to get ready for the day ahead.

—

Press interviews weren't something I was used to.

Whenever Y/B/N had them with journalists for his books, I wasn't present. The only thing I heard was when he came back and told me how it went, then I proceeded to read about it in the paper the next day.

I was sat in Steve's office at Maximoff Publishing with Steve sat by my side, sending me a supportive smile. A journalist from the local paper sat before us, notebook and pen in hand as he watched on with curious eyes.

"So, Y/N," he began. "I'll start with the obvious, if you don't mind."

I glanced at Steve who nodded encouragingly. Clearing my throat, I looked to the journalist. "Sure thing."

He smiled and glanced at his notebook before asking, "How does it feel to be published? You're Pietro Maximoff's first female author."

"An author who happens to be female," I corrected, hoping I didn't come off as rude. "And that isn't something that should be new, in my opinion. It should be normalised."

He nodded, noting it down in his notebook. "Controversy... I like it."

Swallowing hard, I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

"I think the readers would like to know how you managed to score a publisher," he began his next question. "How exactly did you get noticed amongst the many authors that look to be published?"

Okay, not so difficult, I could answer that.

"Well, it was actually my–" I paused, Wanda's face flashing to mind. Okay, maybe a little difficult.

"Your...?" the journalist prompted.

I blinked, attempting to find my words.

"Wanda," Steve answered, starting me off.

I looked to him with grateful eyes before looking back to the journalist. "Right. Yes. Wanda."

"Your brother's fiancé, right?" the journalist asked for clarification.

"Yes," I answered, with an accidental clipped tone. "She... she was the one who gave my work to her brother. Asked him to look at it. And the rest is history."

The journalist was making notes as I spoke, nodding and humming in response, before looking to me with raised brows.

"So, the wedding," he said, making me wince subtly. "Are you excited?"

Forcing a smile, I said, "Ecstatic."

"How does it feel to have your two families uniting?" he asked, and I chewed on my lips, unsure how to respond.

"I– er–"

"Are you afraid that Y/B/N marrying Wanda may put him in Pietro's good graces?" he interrupted eagerly, leaning forward in his seat.

I opened my mouth to answer, but I didn't know what to say that wouldn't land me in hot water or make me look like a jealous sibling. Glancing to Steve questioningly, he thankfully noticed my speechlessness and gave the journalist a warning stare.

"Can you stay on topic, please?" he asked the keen journalist. "Y/N is here to talk about her book and nothing more."

"Okay, okay," the journalist gave in, making me exhale slowly. "What's next in store for your readers, Y/N? A sequel, perhaps?"

"I'm not sure," I answered truthfully. "I'm still in awe at the reception from the first one."

He nodded, note taking as he listened. "How many books do you think you'll get out of your career before getting married like your brother?"

I raised my eyebrows with disbelief. But I didn't get to answer as he was already moving onto his next question.

"Are you not worried about getting married? You know, men don't like smart women."

Narrowing my eyes at him, I clenched my fists by my side and was very close to strangling him before we were interrupted. A servant whom I recognised from home knocked on the door and earned everyone's attention.

"Oh, tell him to go away," the journalist said dismissively, waving his hand.

Steve looked to me and I plastered a bitter smile on my lips as I glanced at the journalist.

"I'd let him in if I were you," I told Steve, and he seemed to understand that I was about to pummel the journalist if I wasn't distracted, because he nodded and motioned for the servant to enter.

The journalist sighed rudely and I clenched my jaw before looking to the servant with a quirked brow. He looked out of breath, panting for air and face flushed red.

"Did you run here?" I realised, cocking my head to the side with confusion.

He nodded, straightening up and attempting to catch his breath. "Yes, Miss Y/L/N. Very sorry to interrupt, but your mother insisted I hurry."

My eyes widened. "Oh, God, what happened? Is she okay?"

"Kind of," he answered, before clarifying, "The wedding between your brother and Miss Maximoff has been cancelled."

"What?!" everyone in the room asked at the same time.

What did he mean the wedding had been cancelled?! Wanda and Y/B/N weren't going to get married?

"I don't know the details," the servant got out quickly. "I just know that your mother sent me to fetch you as soon as possible. She's distraught and requires you home immediately."

I nodded instantly, already making a move to stand up, then I remembered where I was.

"You mustn't publish anything you just heard," I told the journalist with a stern finger, but he seemed over the moon at the news.

"Go, Y/N, your mother needs you," Steve said, resting a hand on my shoulder as he, too, stood up. He side-eyed the journalist as he added, "I'll take care of this tool."

At that, the journalist's eyes widened with fear and judging from the smirk on Steve's lips, I knew things would be okay.

"Thank you," I told him, hugging him quickly, before looking to the servant. "I'll go now. Thank you."

After giving the servant some money to grab a treat and calm him from his breathless state, I got a carriage home with my mind racing a million thoughts a minute.

Why was the wedding off? My mum was distraught, according to the servant, so that could only mean it hadn't been her choice. Was it Y/B/N? Had he broken it off? Or maybe it was Wanda? But no. She'd never do that. She wouldn't hurt her family like that.

I wasn't sure what it was, but I definitely didn't know how to feel. This could either be heavily in my favour or go against me in the worst way possible...

When I arrived home, I found my family in the dining room. My mum was sat down, upset and shaking her head in her hands, tear marks on her face. My dad was sat beside her, rubbing her back soothingly and whispering calming things to her as my brother stood to the side, looking apologetic and uncomfortable.

"It's okay, mum, it'll be okay," he was saying to her from across the table. "It's not a big deal. I can find somebody–"

"Hello...," I began awkwardly, standing in the doorway and hesitant to move forward. "I just got the news from our servant. What happened?"

"Oh, Y/N, you shouldn't have–" my father began regretfully, before my mum slammed her hand on the table and glared at my brother.

"Y/B/N broke off the engagement!" she shouted with frustration.

"There you go...," my dad mumbled before returning his attention to his wife.

"Mum, I–"

"You did what?!" I cut Y/B/N off with raised brows. "You broke off the engagement? You dumped Wanda?"

He looked to me with sad eyes. "Y/N–"

"You idiot!" I shouted, feeling angry as I imagined the effect this must have had on the Maximoff family. "What the hell is wrong with you?! Why would you–?!"

He grabbed my waving arm and dragged me out of the dining room, making me shove him off when we reached the hall.

"Why the hell did you break it off?!" I yelled at him with a glare. "Why would you–"

"I didn't!" he whisper-shouted back, looking down at me with a downcast expression. "She did!"

My anger faded as I realised he was telling the truth. He looked genuinely hurt, eyes glassy and a frown on his lips. Wanda was the one to break it off? What?

"She broke it off with me," he elaborated quietly, so our parents couldn't hear. "She told me this morning. She said she didn't love me and that she couldn't marry me."

I swallowed hard, looking away from him momentarily. "Why did you tell mum and dad that it was you who broke up with her?"

He pinched his forehead with agitation. "Because it looks a lot less foolish if I say it was me rather than her. She doesn't love me, Y/N. She never did."

I risked looking at him, seeing his disheartened expression. Part of me felt guilty because I knew it was my fault this had happened, but I couldn't exactly say that to him, so I stayed quiet. He shook his head once more before walking away, leaving me standing there with shock.

"Er, Miss Y/L/N?"

I spun around when one of our servants approached me.

"I know now isn't the best time," she began, "but a letter came for you earlier. I left it on your desk as you were at work."

Nodding, I offered the servant a halfhearted smile before watching her leave. There was so much to unpack right now...

I headed upstairs and to my room to see what letter was here for me. But I was finding it hard to focus since all that was on my mind was the broken engagement and Y/B/N and Wanda... I needed to see her. What the hell was I doing here?

Planning on going to see Wanda as soon as possible, I grabbed the letter from my desk with the intention of reading it on the way out, but then I recognised the handwriting on the front and paused at my desk.

It was Wanda's handwriting.

I hurried to tear open the envelope, wondering what she had to say. It was no doubt related to the broken engagement.

Dearest Y/N,

I hope that you manage to read this letter before you hear the news, but knowing our families, you'll read it afterwards. In which case, you will know that I have broken off the engagement with Y/B/N.

It was the right thing to do. I chose to do it and I'm sorry if it's caused tension between your brother and your family, but I knew that I couldn't go forward with it when I'm in love with you. I'm not expecting you to come back to me and run away together all dramatically – this isn't about that.

I did this for myself. I'm not in love with your brother and I never was. He should have known that. He had to. Because if not, I'm afraid I broke his heart. And that's the last thing I wanted.

I also did this for you. I need you to know that I'm not heartless or horrible and I didn't expect you to sacrifice anything for me. Cheating on your brother with you... I never meant for this to happen, nor did I mean to get in the way of you both. Falling in love with you was completely accidental, but I don't regret it.

I don't want to go on too much, but I just needed you to know the truth, from me, that I am truly sorry for causing you such pain. I'm still in love with you and I'll never forget what we had. In another lifetime, maybe we could have worked. I'm certain that you were always perfect for me, as was what we had. You are magic, Y/N. I just wasn't powerful enough to keep you.

When I finished reading, I flipped the page over, expecting to find more, but it was blank. She'd ended it there and I didn't know what to think. My heart was racing, mind adjusting too slowly for my liking. She'd broke it off with him for me. I knew she loved me, but I guess I'd never realised just how much.

After recovering from my shock, I put the letter away and left for Wanda's, not bothering to tell my family where I was going. My dad was attempting to console my disappointed mother as Y/B/N moped around somewhere else, so I took that as my chance to nip out without them noticing.

I was trying to plan what to say to her – I didn't even know what I wanted to say to her. She said she didn't expect me to get back with her, and even without Y/B/N and their engagement in the way, we still couldn't be together. Not like how we wanted to be. But I wanted to. I wanted her. All this time without her had been heartbreaking – I didn't want to leave her again. I didn't know the specifics of how we would work, but we could work. We had to.

When I reached her house, it was her mother who opened the door. And that's when I realised that I wasn't sure if she blamed Y/B/N or her daughter for the engagement breaking apart.

"Iryna, hi," I greeted with a nervous smile. "I'm sorry if this is a bad time–"

"Y/N, I'm glad you're here," she cut me off, immediately pulling me in for a hug. "Thank you for coming."

I nodded with mild confusion, returning the hug, before pulling away.

"I'm so sorry for the pain Wanda has caused to your family," she said regretfully. "I hope that your parents aren't as distraught as we are."

I eyed her strangely, still not sure what Wanda had told her. Either way, I didn't bother questioning it as my urgency to see Wanda was overpowering my curiosity.

"It's okay, Iryna, there's no need to apologise," I reassured her. "My family will be okay... I just thought I'd come and check in on Wanda. It's a lot, what happened."

She nodded sympathetically. "Thank you, sweetheart. You're such a good friend to her." She stood to the side to let me in. "Go on up. She's in her room. Hasn't come out since this morning."

I offered a small, awkward smile Iryna's way before letting myself in and going upstairs to Wanda's room. My palms were sweaty and my mouth was dry – stupidly juxtaposed – when I stopped before Wanda's door. On the way over here, I still hadn't decided what to say. I figured it would just come to me when I saw her. One could hope.

Knocking on the door, I heard her sweet, accented voice give me permission to enter. My stomach flipped at the sound and I did as she said. Closing the door behind me, I turned and saw Wanda sat at a stool before a canvas.

Noticing I didn't say anything, she glanced over her shoulder casually, probably expecting a family member. She widened her eyes when she realised it was me and immediately stood up, smoothing out her paint-covered smock in an attempt to look neater. The simple action warmed my heart – she was adorable and I couldn't help but smile.

"Hi," I said quietly.

She cleared her throat, eyes darting around nervously. "Hey. I didn't– what are– hi."

I let my eyes wander, admiring her messy ponytail and the strokes of paint on her face that she definitely wasn't aware of. She was stunning, even with her confused eyes and pursed lips. Better yet, her hand was ring-free and I was reminded of the fact that she wasn't engaged anymore.

"I assume you're here because you read the letter," she began apologetically, but I didn't let her finish because the longer I was in her presence, the more I realised I wanted to kiss her.

Approaching her, I found her eyes before pressing my lips to hers. My hands cupped her cheeks as I held her close, revelling in her taste and scent and touch. She was quick to react, her fingers curling around my waist and tugging me towards her, squeezing our bodies together. Breathing became a problem and we regretfully had to pull away, but remained close enough to exchange breaths and swim in each other's eyes. I'd never been more relieved to see the colour green.

"You're not mad," she realised, looking between my eyes as if trying to search for some anger.

"How can I be mad that you broke off your engagement for me, knowing we can never be together in the way that you deserve?" I asked with disbelief.

She smiled beautifully, making my heart flutter in my chest. "You still love me."

I stole another kiss from her lips. "I never stopped, Wanda. Of course I still love you."

She rested her forehead to mine and closed her eyes peacefully. "Thank you for coming back."

I laughed, feeling tears brim my eyes. "I'm not leaving again, love. We'll find a way to make this work. I promise you that."

Wanda Maximoff deserved the world. And I was going to give it to her in this lifetime and beyond.