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giantkillerjack · 1 year

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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spacedlexi · 2 months

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i actually love thinking about preS4 vinerva and how their relationship deteriorates throughout the season and how it relates to the clemvi romance and just violets character in general but unfortunately some people cant be normal about them so instead i just gotta keep it to myself

#childhood friendship to romance with a tragic ending thats about accepting new love like i just think thats fun and interesting #the whole point is violet moving on from minerva!!! which is why her bad route is about wrongly putting her faith back into minnie #and goes BLIND!! do you Get It??#(which she later apologizes to clem about recognizing she reacted poorly. and clem accepts her apology and admits her own blame in it)#but no. “violet never got over minnie” and minnie being an evil demon as far as the eye can see #maybe theyre actually both complex and layered characters who have been through traumatizing events that made them act accordingly 😱#no... that cant possibly be it... they must just be evil teenage girls...#violet ever loving minnie at all is treated like a crime by some people god forbid she struggle with those feelings 🙄#every time i post art of the 3 of them i get at Least one person saying Some Shit 😑 and its really annoying #heard my clemviminnie pride art got reposted to reddit. Fear.#and when i went to find it i saw vi lost to ben in the 2nd round of a “best written character” poll. and i knew i could never go back there #twdg #it speaks

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bitchapalooza · 3 months

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Thinking about how Zoro may have mixed and complicated feelings about Koushirou because on one hand that’s his sensei and he was taught to respect his sensei, but on the other hand he caused his own daughter, Zoro’s best friend, so much pain and constantly berated her to her face about how she’ll never be strong like the boys nor will she ever inherit the dojo. Like. Zoro cannot have one straight forward opinion on this man, he HAS to have some back and forth opinions on this guy I mean come on!

#imagine Koushirou is like retirement age #and he offers Zoro the dojo because ‘you’re the son I never had you deserve it’#then Zoro shoves his offer in his face by yes taking the dojo but instead of ONLY #accepting male students he accepts female students too #and wow would you look at that his top student is a girl surpassing all the BOYS #all because Zoro encourages all his students equally and isn’t sexist #and yeah I’m ignoring the so called canon sexist Zoro shit :)#I have love hate relationship with Koushirou lmao #I find him so interesting because of how realistic he is to irl people #I have seen actual serious fathers who only has one or more daughters no sons #and for whatever reason they’re sexist dicks to those poor girls #Koushirou trained Kuina in sword fighting he disciplined her on all the swordsmen’s ethics and rules and code of honor #and yet he discouraged her from her dream and kept drilling it in her head that men will always be better than her #no matter how strong she is how much she trains and gives her all #she will always be weak she’ll always be the shadow of men #I love to hate this man so much because WHY does he think this way? it CANT just be that he was raised this way!#one piece #one piece headcanons #roronoa zoro #shimotsuki koushirou

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cloudcountry · 1 year

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thank you to the three people that tagged me in the twst author spotlight ^^ irene, siren, and sapphy, thank you. i read what you said about me and i was very touched. i didnt think i would gain so many friends in such a short period of time, and you all deserve to be recognized for your contributions to the twst community!! :D

EVERYONE LOOK AT MY FRIENDS.

@tinyletterz, who has a beautiful soul and amazing writing. i've known her since my baby days on quotev writing for a fandom which shall not be named, and it's so such a pleasure being her friend. she writes twst x reader content and has a gorgeous series about flower languages that i think about a lot. thank you remy for helping me get accustomed to tumblr, you're the og!!

@shkrmpp, who was my first mutual that i'd never met before here. thank you for asking about jellyfish and being such a bubbly presence on my dash. shrimpy writes x reader content and creates adorable art!! their hair dye series with the leech twins is super cute and i find myself thinking about teh floyd part in particular very often ^^

@fukashiin, with the prettiest themes and the gorgeous art style. winou CONSISTENTLY writes absolute bangers that make me so giddy. this one in particular is one of my favorites, and her writing style reminds me of a soft summer breeze. she's such a bubbly person and its so fun talking to her, even if we don't talk often. ^^ she's one of the three people that keeps my deuce content afloat.

one could say many things about the beloved @hisui-dreamer!! from the way she adores her friends to teh way she writes, rinna is always soft and sweet. she radiates comfort and is such a soothing person, i feel so safe around her. she writes x reader content and every single piece is its own masterpiece. she's one of my closest friends on here and i wish nothing but the best for her every day.

@merotwst, who has a bucnh of adorable oc content (on @meromessy !!) and writes x readers!! ellie in on haitus right now takinga well deserved break. <3 but she writing is amazing and i am FLOORED whenever i see her art!!! it's literally so gorgeous and i don't understand how she does it. its crazy. how is so much talent in one person.

@siren-serenity is not only a lovely author of x reader content, but also a lovely friend. ^^ siren also has an oc named melody who is so cool!!!! she was the pastor at my wedding and fought TOOTH AND NAIL for that position LMAO love u renren!!! she really writes azul SUPER WELL and im so happy to have met someone so calm and soothing to talk to.

@officialdaydreamer00, aka nutmeg, is a rascal. an absolutely rascal but they're really the best. they have a yuusona with LORE and a bunch of really creative & cute events!! seriously nutmeg, nobody does it like you. if you want to see our favorite twst boys in strawberry dresses or recieve a pair of cute earrings, irene's blog is the place for you!!!

@the-v-lociraptor has STELLAR art. she was one of my firts mutuals on twst tumblr and i was terrified of talking to people but her vibes were very much "i am nice you dont need to be afraid" and sniffling scared me was like "OKAY I CAN TALK TO YOU" LMAO but yeah. she draws people so,,, full. thats the only word i can use to describe it. they just look s soft and alive and its really so amazing. i love her art so much!!

@siphoklansan is another artist!! i think about the art she drew from loona's heart attack with twst character weekly basically. it has been stuck in my brain since i started following her. sippy, its trully beautiful how you mix your culture and your art together. i remember you talking about it when you were drawing fairy gala stuff and it was just stunning. please keep doing what you're doing!! i hope your hiatus proves restful <3

@ceruleancattail is one of THE most creative writers i have ever met on this platform. every time i check out their account theyre talking about a new au or doing something different. they write x reader stuff and ar ethe biggest cater kisser ever (even if they wont admit it hehe!!) their writing is so refreshing, if that makes sense. their butler au is so goofy whaahwwahwah

@moonlit-midnight has the prettiest writing style :((( hannah is literally so sweet and it shows in everything you can find on this blog. THIS BLOG HAS PLATONIC FICS TOO!!!! DID YOU KNOW THAT?????? and even better, they're inspired by hannah's own friendships :((( literally the most wholesome thing. you can find x reader's here!!!

@iseethatimicy is an x reader writer and fellow azul kisser!!! she writes some really cute stuff for oour favorite silly little cephalopod AND AND AND AND HAS SOME OCS!!! THATA ARE SUPER COOL!!!!! shimiko and icy are both so cool and interesting 9EVEN THOUGH IM VERY SHIMIKO BIASED AAAAA I LOEV SIREN TROPES !!!!!)

@ryker-writes IS SO KIND. he gave me the sweetest set of flowers for his garden event :(( i still think about them and aaaaa i havent forgotten when he fought me over me being cool LMAO so goofy wahhwaawh!! HIS OC JAXON AND RIDDLE ARE LITERALLY SO CUTE :((( he writes x reader content & makes oc content!!!

@totallymem3 draws occasionally and omgggg meme's art is gorgeous. HAVE YOU SEEN HER DRAW AZUL. her art is so soft and its honestly adorable :(( meme is such a nice mutual too!!! like i met her on anon a while ago we've been besties ever since fr. HER ART REMINDS ME OF SPRING GO CHECK IT OUT PLEASE!!!!!

@z3llous is SO TALENTED!!!! another mutual that im liek WOW how do you exist??? he creates the most stunning twst fanart :((( THE OCTAVINELLE BIAS IIS SO REAL AND SO SO OBVIOUS BUT WOW.....WOW IS IT GOOD. zell is also a game developer and if you like cute little kitties and adventure games you should totally try it out here!!!

@cecilebutcher MAKES THE BEST OCS. creator of igor and saver of the universe. im not kidding igor saved the universe IDC WHAT YOU SAY ITS CANON TO ME. cece i sliterally the sweetest and soososososo creative i am eating up every crumb of igor content i get fed. OM NOM NOM. ofc junto is nice too and hes so sweet!!! GAHH you just put so much love and care into yoru ocs its so admirable :((((

@ang33333333l is another azul kisser that i became mutuals with a while ago!!! dolls love for sebek and azul is very sweet to see and her yuusona fauna is adorable too!! she also draws her yuu and characters sometimes!! :D she doesn't have a lot of oc content up on dolls blog yet but im looking forward to seeing more!! >:D

@leonistic deserves the most underrated writer of the year award. soru writes x reader content and is another super sweet mutual of mien (I KNOW IM SAYING THAT A LOT OKAY.) she writes aroace content and its literally feeds me. seriously. their aroace azul content makes me giggle and kick my feet and GAHHHHH !!! plus they have the patient to do matchups which is crazy and i love them for that ^^

@rains-asleep is the nickname master because he calls me straubs and thats such an adorable nickname :(((( HIS WRITING IS SUPER CUTE AND IT GIVE SME SO MUCH SEROTONIN (they write x readers btw!!!!!) they recently hit 500 followers (CONGRATS AGAIN!!!!!) and they also write for haikyuu, mha, genshin impact, and obey me!!!

@shinysparklesapphires is an artists that has a lot of cool ocs!! i believe navi was the first one i was introduced to and he's such an icon ^^ sapphy is also really into precure and produces a lot of content for the fandom!! i have yet to finish the precure series she recommended to me but its good so far and laura is the best so true!!

@datboredpencil has THE most STUNNING art. if you want idia x cater content this is DEFINITELY THE BLOG FOR YOU!!! each piece has so much love poured into it and i swear. YOURE ALWAYS LIEK "its a work in progress" BUT IT STILL LOTS SO LOVELY :((( YOUR USE OF COLOR IS JUST SO MUAH!!! CHEFS KISS!!!!!!! I ADORE IT

@twistwonderlanddevotee makes really pretty backgrounds!!! i actually used the isaac one she made for my private account AND ITS SO CUTE I LOVE IT I WANT TO EAT IT SWALLOW IT WHOLE MUNCH ON IT SHAKE IT AROUND LIEK A DOG TOY ANYWAYS. i am very normal about sofia's backgrounds. PLEASE GO CHECK THEM OUT its literally so unique?? like who else makes backgroudns liek sofia. Nobody.

@queen-shiba has an open inbox everyone!! you're welcome to send in requests!!! ^^ the queen of savanaclaw makes oc content for chuki, a really sweet kid taht deserves all the cookies in teh world :((( ALSO!!! she has an au for the tsavo man-eaters which is super cool!!! :O she passion for lions and tigers really is admirable and its nic eto see her talk about them :3

@beeirdos-buzzing-bogaloo has a gift when it comes to making ocs!! thule remains my favorite of the ones he has talked about because his design is just so neat!!! I LOVE THAT HIS NICKNAME FROM ROOK IS "MONSIEUR STARGAZER" :((( you have so many ocs that i havent even heard about yet...so im super curious to see what else you put out!!!

@dove-da-birb IS SUCH A GENIUS. they're one of my closests friends and their writing is SO BEAUTIFUL. they're also kidn of a little shit though so watch out /aff tehy write x reader content and draw sometimes, although i dont think theyve posted any of them. ^^ dove is SUCH a delight i promise you'll have fun every single time you talk to them. their energy is infectious and im genuinely really glad im the main target for their chaos. i would not have it any otehr way.

@ashipiko has such delicious art!!! the colors are always so vibrant and the way she draws is so unique. truly, a staple of both the twisted wonderland and as3! fandoms!! her energy is always upbeat and cheery, its hard not to smile when youre talking to her!! truly the biggest ace kisser on thsi platform (probably in the world too hehe)

@shyhaya writes for a myriad of fandoms!!!!!! hayami writes an azul thing for me that made me lose my mind IT WAS SO GOOD. PLEASE check out this blog. you wont regret it. requests are open!! ^^ even twst content aside, im sure you'll find something you like sich haya writes for so many fandoms!! talk about multitalented :3

@thehollowwriter has so many gems. quinn writes every character in twst so well, teh writing is so immersive and just ughhhh MUAH!!!!! every piece with azul in it is such a banger and it makes me giggle and kick my feet :3 LITERALLY THERE IS SO MUCH X READER FLUFF AND ITS ALL GOOD ITS A CRIME I DIDNT FIND THIS BLOG SOONER.

@cyath, who has some of the PRETTIEST art i have EVER seen. they draw stuff based on my fics all of the time and i adore it so much. examples of their art can be found here, here, here, and here. do you understand what i mean. do you get it. their art style is SUPERIOR and i ADORE IT!!!!!! they truly have so much talent like damn save some for the rest of us hello!!!!!

@crheativity writes twst x readers!! she's a beginner writer so PLEASE PELASE SHOW HER SOME LOVE!!! right nwo she has some heartslabyul content that i havent gotten around to reading yet but i am SUPER excited to go through them when i get the chance!!! rhea is super fun to talk to hehe <3

and lastly, @jade-s-nymph who organized this whole thing!!! rubia is on hiatus right now but i've seen some of her projects and a few of the things she's written and they're all really good!! there's a lot of x reader content on her writing blog and self indulgent nymphleech content on her personal blog :3

#twst spotlight #whew its finally finished!!!!!#honestly you all are so talented #thakn you so much for talking to me ^^#you all have been the cause of many smiles and tons of laughter ove the few months ive been here #no fandom has left such a positive impression on me in so little time #you guys are people to remember #every single one of you #and its sappy as HELL i know LOOK AWAY IF YOU DONT WANT SAPPY AUBURN #but teh way you all support each other and talk about things and connect is just so effortlessly beautiful #im so happy that ive been accepted into such a lovely group #im in awe of you all every single day #i hope you never lose the courage and motivation to do what you love #writing and art and anything else aside #i hope you can always find your people in every creative space you enter and i hope ever day you remember your worth!!!#its so amazing how our brains work and give us so many ideas and how we can just put those into words on onto a canvas for other people #this took forever so i will go take a break now but seriously you guys are all amazing

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beedreamscape · 10 months

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In Avalir's ceremonies, given its complementary name, The City of Crowns, it's common to wear a headpiece as a symbol of your station and they go as such:

Septarion

A Kokoshnik-style crown in pure gold bearing seven gemstones. In high elvish is enscripted the very cliche "Knowledge is Power".

Eldamir, being "head of state", bears an extra stone, a big ass diamond.

Apprentices, Ring of Gold

Diadem or Circlet, usually simple in style, of fewer karats than those above, bearing a central gem that represents their Septarion mentor.

Octothurge

A two-centimeters-thick silver circlet, the base for the emblems of each of the schools of wizardry placed in the center of a eight-petal flower.

Ring of Silver

A thin circlet in parallel filigrees with discreet leaves ornamenting it.

Along with that, as a symbol of her family, Patia wears a delicate crystals and pearls snood.

Magisterium

A chain of gold with a curtain of thinner chains over the eyes like a mask (justice is blind shtick).

Court of Owls

Laurel-like circlet of gold feathers.

The head of court wears a crown in the shape of an owl spreading out its wings

Court of Working

Simple straight laurel wreath of palladium metal.

Laerryn, as Architect Arcane, wears an elaborate laurel diadem of Mithral metal with flowers, minuscule pearls and a down-facing point, reminiscent of elven crowns.

First Knight

Usually worn over a light chainmail hood, it's of simpler metal and inscribed with the vows the Knight swears when nominated.

Loquatius

None of his titles actually bears a crown, but having earned the respect and love of those in the upper echelons, Quay earned himself a crown as the city's Herald and Scribe

Thranduil-style crown (yes, he went full-on fey prince) coming to points on his cheekbones, the backpiece resembles flames. Also made of Mithral to match Laerryn's.

#exu calamity #avalir #critical role #headcanon #i wish i could find exactly what i was picturing but these will suffice #the last style was so hard to find variants #fashion #nydas doesn't get a crown bc he technically doesn't respond directly to the mageocracy #but he does love his little hat. gets his best ones for ceremonies #and the court of eyes doesn't have one. and even if they did...#have you seen those guys?#Loquatius basically convinced people by wearing a crown anyway #and people just accepted he did #also is the architect arcane crown that elaborated? no. laerryn's just extra

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swiftfootedachilles · 3 months

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im just gonna be honest gang obviously its gonna be easy for you to say youre in love with a character and theyre an angel when anytime they do something you don't like you brush it off as out of character

#bad writing is still canon unfortunately #the place where i absolutely draw the line is gallavich being verse don't fucking piss me off @shameless writers #unfortunately your fav characters did do and say those bad things..... and to ignore that is too fundamentally misunderstand their character #how can you love a person when you choose to be blind to who they are </3 #this isn't directed toward anybody y'all are just being very dramatic lately and really i think we should remember that tv shows aren't real #i can recognize when someone is caused by bad writing but i still have to accept that it's a real thing that happened #like. do i find shameless entertaining? YES! is it well written? FUCK NO #it's actually fundamentally a bad show in many ways. but that's WHY i enjoy discussing it #it's why my hyperfixation hasn't died down. because theres just SO MUCH to pick apart and interpret and discuss!#it's actually so bad at times i blocked it out of my memory!#but if i believe something isn't canon or *shouldn't be canon* (HUGE difference between those 2 things)#then i should explain why i think that. and i also need to accept that others disagree #but if you say everything you don't like is just ooc bad writing and therefore not real to canon then #....lol what are you even doing here #like. we should be rallying against the writers for being actively racist homophobic transphobic fatphobic ableist etc #yet we're sitting here with our thumbs up our asses fighting about which character fanclub is the most oppressed #WHO CARESSSSS JOHN WELLS DOESN'T CARE ABOUT US IT TRULY ISN'T WORTH WASTING YOUR BREATH OVER #i just want to read about 2 toxic kinky boys kissing idk #let me say this tho! hardcore fiona stans you gotta be the most out of touch people on planet earth!#okay goodnight everypony #wall of text in the tags #a.txt

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hadesknockedupintheunderworld · 5 months

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Ngl it's weird finishing the Knuckles tv show and going to tumblr about it only for people (even who I consider bigger name fans) who also watched the entire show to claim that it "confirmed Knuckles Wachowski"

I'm sorry

Did you somehow miss the part in the last episode where Knuckles had a whole montage of hanging with the Whipple family and Wade and saying "home" or something?

#sonic the hedgehog #knuckles series #knuckles the echidna #knuckles 2024 #knuckles whipple #sonic movie #knuckles 2024 spoilers #knuckles series spoilers #fandom wank #Sorry do you just think that this entire show was a sidequest so Knuckles could go back to the Wachowski house and be their kid now like #nothing ever happened?#In the show where episode 1 clearly showed that Knuckles couldn't mesh with the household and that Sonic considered him a roommate?#This place was not home for him. The show was about him finding home. How is the Wachowski household Knuckles' home after he had an epiphany #that his home was with the whipple family??#Ah wait sorry how could I forget. Sonic fans are just used to absorbing canon with a toothpick and picking the parts they like and then #claiming their headcanons for filling in the gaps are canon #Only the things they personally like are what happened of course #Sorry for being salty I'm just annoyed. Like you can have whatever headcanons or fanon you want. Heck I loved all those 'maddie is knuckles'#mom' comics and whatnot. I'm not even saying we have to interpret the media the same way. But Knuckles having a montage and calling being #with the whipple family 'home' happened. That happened.#A friend and I are running a bet that most people won't acknowledge that it happened unless Sonic movie 3 shoves it in our faces #The universe tests me every day by having put me into Sonic fandom. It is a constant test of one's soul not only to exist in proximity of a #community who you often disagree on big points with‚ but to watch a bunch of loud people claim things are canon but only accept textual #evidence when it serves them. Or to explain a little better #to watch a fandom try to build an 'accepted idea' of what canon is like that becomes so divorced from actual canon that you get people #saying that it's canon and ignoring anything that doesn't fit it because 'writing bad anyways'#Like guys please I am grasping your shoulders. If you don't like canon just say 'fuck you I'm going to make content of this because I think #it's better'. You don't have to assert that everything you believe is canon and ignore when it's not #i just be ramblin

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bluegekk0 · 10 months

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still thinking about that "what emotion do you create from" quiz result

"to cope with an unhospitable reality, you create more welcoming worlds to consume your work and your waking hours". "such vivid fantasies are the dream of one who considers reality a prison".

what if i ugly cried

#this hits so hard as someone who struggles with my own identity and the fear of not belonging anywhere #i guess it makes sense though #i've always found comfort in my work #especially the au #it's a nice escape and seeing my favorite characters find happiness is especially comforting #especially fpk #who's fat and struggles with his confidence #to see him find hope and love despite all that happened #and to see him be accepted even if he may not be conventionally attractive #gives me some hope for myself #i actually picked hope as the emotion i expected to be the result #the actual result was more of a gut punch but i think those two are still connected #mm #yeah lots of emotions #thank you random art quiz #gekko.txt

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cluescorner · 7 months

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Randomized Robins AU - Ages + Worst Trait Exercise:

Steph (25):

Says her worst trait is her murderous rages (she is exaggerating for dramatic/comedic effect, she’s killed 3 people tops and for very good reason)

Thinks her worst trait is her spitefulness (one of the few traits she definitely got from her father + one that prevents her from fixing her relationships and living her best possible life. She’ll refuse to interact with someone she dearly loves after an argument (happens significantly less after Tim’s death) or will say things she knows are hurtful just for the sake of having the last word. This trait will worsen in some ways as the list of people who have wronged her and those she loves grows, but will also ease up as she matures and realizes the harm it’s doing to her relationships with those she loves most.)

Her worst trait really is her spitefulness

Cass (26)

Says her worst trait is her self-righteousness (she believes that her goals are righteous and, as a result, she is righteous. Cass becomes very defensive whenever someone questions the mission and often does not second-guess herself. This is a trait she only develops later in life as she grows closer to Bruce/learns to understand herself more/starts to love herself more. But she knows she isn’t perfect and when somebody she trusts criticizes something she is doing she is willing to listen. She just usually isn’t the one to START the introspection.)

Thinks her worst trait is her self-righteousness.

Her worst trait actually is her obsessiveness (she gets it from Bruce and, while not as bad as him, she will easily become preoccupied with her night-life and the mission if someone isn’t there to pull her back. She will do this to the point of self-destruction and it hurts her relationships with the people she loves, especially Steph.)

Tim (24)

Says his worst trait is his spitefulness (he actively rejects the idea of mending his relationships with the older members of the family and this causes him to also lack good relationships with the younger ones)

Thinks his worst trait is his obsessiveness (similar to Cass, if he gets fixated on a task or idea he will neglect everything else in his life in order to dedicate more time to it. Unlike Cass, he will almost never be dragged away from it unless Pierrot snatches control of the body and forces them to take care of themself.)

His worst trait actually is how manipulative he is (the KING of guilt-tripping and using people’s emotions against them. He’ll do whatever he needs to do to get what he wants, he’s not above crocodile tears. And he will do it to whoever he needs (or wants) to with little care for how his actions impact others.)

Pierrot (Insists: “Age doesn’t apply to me! And even if it did, I'd probably be the oldest. Or the youngest! I’d never be a middle child, though.” Mental assessments by the Bats have put him around 21, with a margin of error of 3 years. Pierrot has called this “blatant character assassination by my eternal rival!”)

Says his worst trait is that he is an irredeemable psychopath without any regard for the wellbeing of others (this is a lie and everyone who's important to him understands this).

Thinks his worst trait is his parasitic nature (he literally would not exist had Tim not suffered the way he did. Plus he is a living reminder of one of the worst things that happened to many of his loved ones. He is a parasite injected into a functional person's body and contributes to his continued suffering. This is also a largely incorrect judgement of himself, caused by his actual worst trait.)

His worst trait actually is his limited sense of self (he doesn’t really know who he is outside of ‘inheritor to the legacy of the Joker (a man he despises yet also views as a father)’ and ‘chip in Tim’s brain that became sentient’. He slowly develops an identity over the course of his life and relationships with other people, but he lacks the foundations of identity that most people have. Pierrot will often almost become a caricature of himself and what others perceive him to be because it's the only person he knows how to be. This causes wild swings in how he behaves and relates to others, sometimes to the detriment of himself and others.)

Dick (17)

Says his worst trait is his clinginess (he is a very extraverted person who likes to be around others, which mixed with his fear of abandonment after his parents died means that if he goes a few days without seeing/talking to a friend he will get very anxious.)

Thinks his worst trait is his anger issues (he gets ticked off very easily and will explode on people. He’s kind at his core and is usually very nice, but he has a temper that can escalate significantly. Spoiler (and later Twist) help him channel this anger into something positive.)

His worst trait actually is his anger issues.

Barbara (18)

Says her worst trait is her disability (internalized ableism, she thinks of herself as less valuable than the other Bats because she cannot be out there in the capes like they can. She will grow out of this as she matures and as she learns how invaluable her support for the team is.)

Thinks her worst trait is her disability

Her worst trait actually is her overly-independent nature (In an attempt to overcompensate for everything she can no longer do, she has resolved to do literally everything that she possibly can without any help from others. This results in many instances where she either takes on too much and winds up not being able to fully realize any of her tasks or where she makes her life and the lives of others significantly harder by refusing help when offered/not asking for it when she needs it.)

Damian (16)

Says his worst trait is his perfectionism (he is overly critical of both himself and others, taking any flaw or problem and amplifying it to an absurd degree. This is due in part to his life with the LoA (where even a brief misstep could lead to death), in part to how others treated him initially as Spoiler (any flaw was fixated on and used as a reason to either mistrust him or portray him as unworthy of the mantle), and in part due to the fact that he is Bruce’s son (the only person with worse perfectionism problems than Damian). Gradually, Damian has improved in this regard but it’s still a massive barrier to both his own happiness and his relationships with others.)

Thinks his worst trait is his perfectionism

His worst trait actually is his perfectionism

Duke (16)

Says his worst trait is his definitely-real secret evil side (says this as a ‘my dad is a villain so who knows??’ joke)

Thinks his worst trait is his impulsivity in his words (Sometimes he will crack a joke or say a remark without thinking it through, leading to a LOT of hurt feelings and drama. He’ll say something without thinking it through and wind up seeming insensitive. This isn’t done because of malice, rather because Duke is someone who’s quick to act and speak. But while the mantle of Insight and his awakening powers have helped him with his actions, they do not always help with his loose tongue. As such, Duke gains an unfair reputation in the media as an instigator and will accidentally cause family drama through what he says.)

His worst trait actually is his impulsivity in his words

Jason (14)

Says his worst trait is his bad manners (he grew up on the streets and has no idea how rich-people society works, which he’s pretty insecure about considering he’s now the youngest kid of Bruce freaking Wayne).

Thinks his worst trait is his reactiveness (Jason never got the privilege of planning ahead for various events in his life, so he instead needed to rely on being swift and harsh in how he could react to situations. It’s saved his life on multiple occasions and helps significantly in his role as Spoiler, but it can also lead to extreme overreactions (accidentally causing kidnapping scare after Jason ran away following a fight with Dick) and a struggle to plan things out ahead of time. As he grows more secure in his place in the family and in life, this trait will lessen but never fully dissipate.)

His worst trait actually is his reactiveness

#stephanie brown #cassandra cain #tim drake #dick grayson #barbara gordon #damian wayne #duke thomas #jason todd #batfamily #randomizedrobinsau #I'm debating whether I should tag this with the Joker Junior tag and those related to it for Pierrot #because like...it's not quite that. but it's also very close to that and is the direct result of that.#but Pierrot would fucking HATE to be tagged as that and sees it as an insult to his identity...which he already has problems with #so I don't think I'm gonna #anyways lmao I am totally projecting my younger self onto Barbara. How could I not? She's literally the reason I view my disability #the way that I do and she actively improved my mental health just by existing and saying some of the shit she did when I was in the #stages of accepting my own disability. So yeah I am projecting a lot onto her because I love her and see myself in her.#I'm mostly basing these characterizations on my favorite versions of them (ie Red Robin 2009 Tim and Birds of Prey Barbara).#so I'm taking the traits I like/think fit in this AU and discarding what I think either is bad or doesn't fit or if I just don't like it.#Damian's 'murder gremlin who is a meanie on purpose because he is a meanie' is entirely unappealing to me and also does not fit this AU #I prefer him when he's portrayed as a sympathetic kid (who is still an asshole) and not a demon child. So that's what I'm using.#same with Talia's 'abusive mother who is totally on-board with all of her father's bullshit and will kill someone for no reason' version #I have read enough comics to know what I like/what is most important and what I don't like/what is #BLATANT CHARACTER ASSASSINATION GRANT MORRISON YOU FUCK YOU SET TALIA BACK SO FUCKING FAR #I also decided to outline their WORST traits because I already know what I like about these characters/their best traits.#most people do. But what was a greater challenge was finding what would make their lives and those of others worse.#what would I hate about this person if I knew them IRL? What would I first suggest they get therapy for? What hurts them and why?#I found these questions really interesting in the context of this AU where some people are forced into completely different roles #the says/thinks/is was inspired by trying to answer that question for myself. I say my worst trait is my impulsiveness but when #I asked others in my life they answered 'oh so you said your weird thing where you don't ask for help right?'

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thotsfortherapy · 6 months

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having mommy issues be like I hate that you know me I hate that we’re related I hate that you birthed me I hate that you don’t know how to love me properly I hate that you can’t see how much you hurt me I hate that I’m expected to love you

#cy says stuff #I moved out when I was 17 for a reason #but I do still go back to visit when schools out sometimes and I regret it every single time #every time we talk I’m like damn is it time to call it quits because this is not it #I literally feel like I’m constantly on the brink of being disowned or kicked out of the house when I’m there #but it’s also for things like. bringing a single bottle of wine to a Christmas party that I did not even drink #or like. moving in with my partner of 4 years. because we are going to the 2nd most expensive city in Canada and girl I cannot pay the rent #or being upset when she reads my diary ?? or reads my credit card statements without permission and also just like behind my back??#like do you think I’m not going to find out when you bring up information you only would’ve known if you had read those things #I can put two and two together…#also I’m literally almost done my university degree. i am fully an adult. these should not be issues !#ahhhhh!!!#anyways I will speak to my therapist about this lol #also y’all my friends are always like oh I love my mom and it just seems to be a socially accepted thing that you should love your mom #but what if your mom sucks what then #I genuinely cannot relate to them I’m like literally what does that feel like #the first time I felt loved was when I was 15 lol there is 0 love in my family #anyways !#it’s okay I am out of it and I have been out of it #just #always on the brink of cutting her off forever lol #some ppl just never change as much as you want them to and that is tough to accept.#it is also harder because society is telling my that I need to stay loyal to my family cause they’re blood #but if this were anyone else I would’ve blocked them so long ago 😭

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chirpsythismorning · 1 year

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I haven't been active in the byler fandom, why would redditors be mad at the play being canon?

Most, not all, but most active reddit users on the ST sub have been bombarded with byler evidence for the last year. So to remain sane through it all, they have resorted to insisting that almost every detail fans come across and try to share on the sub, are just mere coincidences.

This is because they've realized that if they are considering other really minor details meaning something bigger, that means they might have to start considering the possibility that the details pointing to byler are also intentional. This is how they cope.

You would think after saying 'it's just a coincidence' for the hundredth time, they might be starting to rethink their position on things, but the reality of the situation just isn't setting in I guess (aka they don't want it to happen so they are refusing to let themselves truly consider it until they have no choice).

The reason I still partake in the reddit sub, despite losing braincells over half the takes on there, is bc there are still a handful of users that are really smart and do great analysis on the supernatural side of the show, in particular things I have no knowledge on at all and would greatly benefit from looking at to expand my understanding of things and different perspectives.

The really smart ones that exist are usually indifferent to the romantic arcs in the show, although they do have a milkvan bias bc the straight bait is straight baiting. And so these are the few posts theorizing, that consider the details meaning something more, that just so happen to get support from the hardcore milkvans on there. And it's bc as long as it's coming from someone who doesn't think byler is going to happen, they will listen.

I will say the one thing that is sort of obnoxious about all of this is that regular fans without any ship bias, will pop on there semi-regularly with a post, accompanied by basic common sense questions like, 'wait this makes no sense...' or 'why did they do this this way?' in many cases, with the confusion surrounding the build up of Mike and El and Will's role in all that. These people aren't milkvans or bylers, they are just fans picking up on obvious subtext and they are looking for insight about it from fans. And every time they get bombarded with condescending and bitter milkvans that are having to defend mike and el's honor, and s4 really made this a full time job for them lmao. That sort of resentment has manifested into hating anything and everything that considers deeper meaning in relation to Will and Mike, but especially in Will's case. Because that's the thing, they have to deny any importance of Will's role bc Will being important fucking terrifies them. It means that everything could be important basically. It's their worst nightmare and they will hound you for even speculating something. It's insufferable to watch unfold honestly.

I say all of this bc it's important in the context of the play, given that there are a lot of theories out there swirly around, theories that mostly reside on Tumblr. Many of those theories are viewed by redditors as being crack theories that have no evidence supporting them (bc they come from bylers), like the weirdness around Alice not being in the play (and potentially connecting to Karen), or the fact that they insisted the silhouette of Henry's actor right before the cast announcement couldn't be him bc he was too old to be Henry (umm time shenanigans, duh), or that the truth about Brenner's involvement runs a lot deeper than everyone assumes.

And so naturally, leading up to the play, a lot of active (very vocal) redditors in both the main sub and the Hawkins AV Club sub, have commented on posts related to the play, trying so hard to convince others (themselves) that this play is not canon and we shouldn't waste our time with it because it wont matter in the context of everything going on in the literal show. They go as far as to insist it's not canon, even though it already was said to be canon.

And now with this post, they are again having to face the reality this show is a lot deeper than they have had to insist it to is combat byler speculation. All byler evidence is seen as reaching to them. And they'll do everything they can to insist anything bylers are speculating is delusional, which includes theories surrounding the play. All of that denial has led us to this moment, which will only hurt their ego as time goes on and they are being hit with sign after sign after sign... that it might just be that deep.

#byler #stranger things #the first shadow #'it's not that deep you guys'#'ya'll are reaching'#what's your favorite milkvan argument?#mine is 'the duffer's aren't that smart guys'#truly never gets old #oh so you're saying endgame byler would be smart... you said it not me.#not trying to make this about byler but i did #bc full serious... before byler was even a thought in reddits head back in s1-2... they fucking loved theories #i can go find theories from 6 years ago about twelvegate and owlgate and birthdaygate and dozens more all bc they were open to everything!!#critical thinking is not encouraged on there anymore #anything considering possibilities based on literal evidence is going to be shot 9 times out of ten #bc all of those details have always been hinting at something they do not want to accept #the details are stacked against them #and their time is running out it seems #can't wait for this play to drop and it starts to set in that plenty of details they refuted tirelessly were actually hinting at something

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marclef · 9 months

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also. mutuals. i see you in the Likes of That Post.

this blood pact has been sealed.

#if you know you know.#those who don't know. this ain't for you.#but for a certain few of you. i am handing you a letter with a handprint on it that says WE KNOW.#...... and hey. listen. I LIKED IT TOO. we have accepted our sins together. love ya's ❤❤❤#all i know is if my real life friends find out what i'm talking about i'm getting crucified on the cross 👍

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whumpiary · 1 month

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How much does Future!Cass maintain his French and Mandarin from Bergen?

Also, I love the detail that his Mandarin is better, both with how logical its grammar is, and also I assume that characters suit his dyslexia better than French spelling. There's something fun and unexpected about Cass projecting nonchalance yet enjoying a language which is tonal. For a person from a non-tonal language, especially the relative flatness of English, Mandarin demands a kind of rhythm and attention which doesn't come naturally.

Also also, who do the tutors who come to the Estate tend to be? How much do they know/suspect?

Future Cass absolutely maintains his languages! He falls off the wagon a little while he's at the Facility, but his languages are actually one of the things he comes back to through his recovery later on, and maintaining them become really important to him. I've had in my head for a while that he probably joins a Tai Chi class so he has a bit more of an excuse to maintain the Mandarin.

Cass has a talent for languages, which Christopher figures out and encourages him toward, because he knows its a lucrative skill. Cass learns mostly aurally from language tapes and conversation, which means he speaks both languages better than he can write or read them.

He's better at Mandarin than French, and generally prefers it too. He really likes the tonality of it, and copying the sounds just so is something he gets fixated on early on while learning it. He also likes that he's better at picking it up than some of the other charges who pick up the same languages. It's not often he feels book-smart, so he latches to it

The tutors are just tutors! They are carefully vetted and have... an awful lot of NDAs to sign. For the privacy of the charges of course, they understand. And they're also prepped and primed for tall tales their students might spin about how they're treated on grounds. But they've seen the facilities. Does it look like anyone's getting abused?

The people who run the tutoring program are absolutely in Christopher's pockets however, so if a tutor was to show any amount of inappropriate concern... well maybe they're just not a great culture fit for the company.

#most of the boys wouldnt dare say anything though #there's the cass' of the world who are accepting their lot with gritted teeth #and the harley's of the world who truly believe theyre lucky to be here no matter the cost #someone like henri who sits somewhere between the two might say something. but they'd learn pretty quick that :) we dont do that here :)#that seems pretty ungrateful :) actually :) and look you lost miss eloise her job. all because you overreacted??#also! re languages and dyslexia #i'm not 100% sure how true this is but I have also read that some dyslexic people find it easier to learn non-alphabetic languages #or language with writing systems different to their first language #which i thought was cool!#so thats in there too #its also why cass is described as listening to audio books and taped exercises #and why henri refers to him having his own tutor #aural and kinesthetic learning come much more nautrally to him #which christopher uses to full advantage. especially knowing that cass didnt really get those interventions before now #cassius #about mine #answered #thank you so much for all these questions! its lovely!

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fluffypotatey · 2 years

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Okay, but like...what if in "Queen of Hearts," Arthur followed through on his threat before Morgana did her sorcery frame-up, and he and Gwen just dipped (with Merlin, obviously)? Like, he leaves an Official Statement of Resignation on his desk with his signet ring, renouncing his claim to the throne and all that? The three of them are halfway to Essetir before anyone notices they're gone.

And on the way, they just happen to chance across some smugglers? Logic dictates that Tristan and Isolde started their hustle during Uther's reign for them to be as good as they are in S4 when Arthur had only been king a few months tops. They're still initially suspicious, ofc, but they warm up a lot faster considering the situation, and they're always down with someone who says "fuck the king" with their whole chest. The trio takes up with them bc they're always on the move and make a living on not being found, which is exactly what they need rn because Uther will be looking for them.

But if they want to stay, they gotta contribute. House rules.

Now, insofar, Tristan and Isolde are strictly transport. They're more or less fences. They don't do the actual theft part. But the trio can. Arthur can blend right in with the rich people they rip off, and he's bougie enough to pick out the Good Shit and pass on the knockoffs. Merlin and Gwen can blend right in with the servants to case the joint and swipe the goods, not to mention Gwen's knowledge of metalworking means being able to dismantle jewelry pieces without damaging them and making them untraceable, and Merlin can cover their tracks with magic (he'd have told them after they left) and create distractions as needed.

Arthur does have a small crisis when he realises he makes a better grifter than a prince, but then it's just really funny. He is now the Once and Future King of Thieves. Tristan and Isolde are the envy of the black market scene bc of their "secret weapons."

Bonus points if this is how they meet the rest of the squad bc legit the only knight that isn't a confirmed criminal is Percival, but he's also besties with Lancelot, so it's implied he might be.

Knights of the Criminal Enterprise.

you could have just kissed me on the spot you know

#god i'm in love with this concept #never thought i'd find a canon divergent merwenthur au where they're the top dogs of Albion's criminal empire #s5 is them realizing that camelot is in deep shit bc morgana took up the throne after they left and arthur still loves his kingdom #he's conflicted about going back bc 1) that's his home and it deserves better 2) he likes his life rn 3) he's in denial about morgana's #corruption arc no matter how many times he hears about ('that's not gana merlin those people don't know her like i do' and merlin doesn't #have the heart to tell arthur about her plots to kill both him and uther and gwen) it's not until leon arrives that arthur has to accept it #also elyan introduces merwenthur to tristan & isolde bc obvi he left with the gang (he promised her that he'd always be there and he intend #to keep that promise!)#lancelot when he meets the gang during a heist and he's their target's bodyguard ('...fancy meeting you here' 'literally what the fuck')#the tristan adoption process happens faster in this au bc tristan isn't aware that arthur (affectionately called wart) is the prince #gwen putting her smithing skills to good use and having them be acknowledged????? well mark me down as a swooning damsel #her and elyan being a dynamic duo when it comes to smelting or forging a quarter master's keys #bbc merlin #merwenthur #once and future king of thieves #or Albion's Oceans 11 #arthur pendragon #gwen #merlin emrys #tristan and isolde #headcanons

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