#and everyone who masks is insane
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Actually am still kinda pissed that my fiancé's psychatrist evaluated him for anxiety and said he didn't have it but then was like "in the future I'd like to see you make enough progress with your anxiety that you feel comfortable taking your mask(N95 not neurodivergent mask) off" and didn't seem to care when he explained that his fiancé(me) has several severe chronic illnesses and immune issues so we both do what we can to ensure I don't get sick with any illness, not just covid. Like does he have anxiety or not?? You can't have it both ways buddy!! And like it or not protecting a vulnerable person from getting sick is logical, YOU'RE the one being irrational here.
Like this is why I get pissed about mask(N95) stuff, people have legit fallen into some kind of thought-terminating cliché about covid and all other contagious diseases not being a problem anymore to the point that they think even sick people and their loved ones taking reasonable precautions to protect their health is a sign of anxiety and paranoia. I truly do not get it. Like it's one thing if you personally don't want to wear a mask(N95) but at least leave people who do alone, but legit acting like people like me are insane for doing something that makes perfect sense is turning me into the Joker. It doesn't even work to say "oh I have asthma and allergies and the air quality is bad today" or "I'm having an important surgery soon and need to make sure I don't get sick" like they think wearing a mask(N95) AT ALL in any circumstance for any reason means you've legit lost your mind.
I genuinely feel like the government suddenly started hiding all the national car crash statistics and insisted in tons of press conferences that crashing your car is actually perfectly fine and not a big deal at all and wearing a seatbelt isn't something healthy people need to worry about, so now everyone thinks it's silly to wear one and every time I do I have to deal with people implying or outright stating that I'm legitimately mentally ill and need an intervention.
#this is why whenever someone praises biden for ending the pandemic I want to scream#he didnt end it he swept it under the rug#and now most people think it's normal to get covid 5 times a year#and everyone who masks is insane#cw covid#covid conscious#current events#ask to tag
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Like I know it's self indulgence but it'd be so funny to see a full kardashian style Brucie Wayne, spoilt playboy prince of Gotham, local sunshine idiot on the front page every other week for darwinian levels of idiocy or billionaire levels of donations.
But he gets kidnapped or something and there's illusions or mind magics that make him think he's in the bat suit and then he gets dumped in the middle of a live world broadcast arena to fight some goons.
Like he doesn't think anything of it, batman's been kidnapped and forced into gladitorial arenas for sport many times before, maybe he always carries concealed weapons so he's still got like grapples and batarangs and stuff, but he's just going full doomslayer on these guys. No cowl. No suit. Just an open silk shirt and a pair of slacks. In full view of the world.
Tell you what, what about the whole justice league. Just a group of the motleyest people you've ever met. There's about as many famous people as there are absolute nobodies.
Several billionaires defer to the guy who writes articles on outdated lead in buildings and socio economic corruption. There's a renowned museum curator flying and uppercutting aliens so hard they get tossed across the room. There's a guy who spoke in science conferences about meta containment procedures running up the wall and delivering a roundhouse kick to three enemies at once. Bruce Wayne and Oliver Queen. Of all people. Two world famous idiot ceo celebrities. And they're back to back whaling on armoured alien henchmen like a well oiled team. A ten year old podcaster shooting lightning from his fingers and no one in the group bats an eye.
Just.... Insanity.
#To be honest I don't care if there's any fallout#Maybe it happens in a dream world or smth or maybe they reverse time or wipe memories or something#I just want the juxtaposition of batman in Brucie Wayne's skin#No society mask. Jaw jutted eyes sharp he's tossing goons around like it's nothing#The fangirls would go insane. His stockholders are cowering. Everyone who knows anything about him is blue screening#It's like a fever dream but he's so full of adrenaline he's panting condensation on the cold arena like a wolf#And people are having their whole worlds collapse#Superbat celebration kiss after they defeat everyone? Why not if you want#batman#dc comics#bruce wayne#brucie wayne#justice league#It'd be like idk if Taylor swift turned out to be... Idk there isn't an equivalent#Like if Elon musk turned out to be a paramedic on the side#Or a world class neurosurgeon#This is purely self indulgent but it'd be so funny.
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it’s kinda funny to me how that dumb scene in kiwami 1 of majima getting shot and left for dead in the harbor was basically just added as a half-assed way to explain majima not being around for a bit of the plot, but they accidentally(?) just made it seem like start of a chain reaction where majima ended up feeling slighted and heartbroken after being abandoned like that and then lashed out about it via smashing a big truck into the building kiryu was in. and yeah that isn’t inherently a romantic thing as-is but then they go and add the part where majima grabs a hostess and performatively hits on her as in-kiryu’s-face as possible, she says she’s already in love with someone, and majima lets her go immediately, no questions asked, making a big fucking point of it just to say see THAT kiryu? I appreciate when people are HONEST about their FEELINGS. people who won’t just BACKSTAB someone who CARES about them to save themselves. is that so crazy kiryu?? huh??? anyway make it up to me get down here and fight me right fucking now
#I think on another level he was sorta saying like ‘hey kiryu. you’re making it extremely clear that you don’t trust me and my intentions#and I’ve been trying to show you- over and over again- that I’d do just about anything for you and your safety#but I can’t just let my mask fall off in front of everyone- I need to keep up the unpredictable morally grey wildcard act for both my sake#AND yours. because disguising my helping you as crazy random violent outbursts and weird stalker behavior#is the only way I CAN help you. do you think it would go over well with shimano or literally anyone else if I was outright helping you out#of the kindness of my heart and fondness for you? stop being so fucking dense and look past the crazy wacky nonsense for a second and#maybe you’ll realize that all I do at the end of the day- really- is help you and put my own life and reputation on the line for you.#I am an honest guy when it comes to my real values and when I told you I wouldn’t let anyone kill you unelss it was myself- I meant it.#I’ve taken a knife and a bullet for you now. can you REALLY not see through the act yet? am I REALLY that unpredictable when you think about#it?’#that was a longer explanation than i intended but. it was difficult to put into words#I basically feel like it could be read as him implying kiryu shouldn’t backstab the people who put themselves on the line to help him#and/or pointing out that he’s never actually done kiryu dirty and has stuck to his word protecting him in the ways he can#trying to say yeah all this is a crazy act and all but when it comes down to it you Can trust me#it really makes sense when you think about it that he’d have to help kiryu/show affection towards kiryu in unpredictable convoluted ways#at that point in time because. I mean. there’s a reason he was the only person who showed up to welcome kiryu when he got out of prison#and that’s because A) he sticks to his word and his loyalty to people he cares about and B) no one else had the balls or the batshit insane#mask to wear to ward off anyone asking real questions like majima did. because ANYONE associating themselves with the supposed#patriarch-killer was a HUGE NO-NO at the time. someone important showing up for kiryu and welcoming him back outright could’ve caused#all-out warfare probably. except majima. because majima was dedicated and smart enough to use his widely-feared wildcard persona#(that everyone tended to view as incapable of having any Real agenda to worry about) to his And kiryu’s advantage#does that make sense??? I feel like it makes a lot of sense if you get it to click in your head#kazumaji#majima#kiryu#yakuza#kiwami 1#yk1#rambling
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The Hazbin Graduate’s Guide to Homicide (3)
HAZBIN'S MIDSEMESTER STUDENT REPORT Student: Vox Vanhal Supervising Staff: Professor Enoch Leviathan Sponsor: Not Applicable To the Board: Vox Vanhal may be one of the most brilliant students this school has seen in decades. In all my years of teaching at Hazbin, I have never met a student more insanely ready to learn and apply their skills- due in part, of course, to said student's own possible insanity. I mean this in a jovial way, of course, but I will admit that when young Vanhal's true identity was revealed to me that my first thought was along the lines of 'is this student insane?' Whether or not my student's reason should be called into question is something myself and my fellow professor Asmodeus have discussed in length, but there is one thing that we can definitively agree on: If there is any one student in this school who I would choose to place my bets on, it would be Vox Vanhal. There is nothing more to say at this time of report evaluation. Sincerely, Professor Leviathan.
May God's blessings be with you now and at the hour of our deaths, Amen.
[ 1 ] / [ 2 ] (<- read these first for context and more murder academy radiostatic content!)
Though Alastor may have thought that Vox was much more knowledgable in how Hazbin's Institution for Homicide worked, the truth was, Vox was still fully flying on the seat of his own coattails.
He had no damn clue what he was doing still, and although it'd been two weeks since he'd arrived, part of him still felt like how he did when he'd first arrived: hesitant, scared, not knowing where to go or what to do besides the want to make his boss suffer as he killed him.
That level of animosity might sound strange to anyone not a Hazbin student or alumnus, but it was perfectly normal for any student enrolled in the academy to have such feelings. After all, there was quite a rigorous process involved in the application, and for Vox, this application process (and what led to it) was perhaps more intense than most.
There had once been a time where Vox had dreamed of becoming a Hollywood starlet, one who lit up the silver screen and was blessed by hundreds of thousands of cheering, dedicated fans who would fawn over his every move and action. He'd wanted to follow in his mother's footsteps, at one point. But after taking on his first roles in Carmine Studios, the glamour of Hollywood had shattered like fine glass.
"Miss Vesper! Would you please look over here for a second?"
"Miss Vesper, when is your next movie coming out?!"
"Miss Vesper, is it true that you and your co-star on Anna Karenina, Valentino Vega had an affair-?"
"Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck! That- fucking bastard!" Vox rushed into the privacy of his and Val's shared apartment, slamming the door behind him as he collapsed into the couch, head cradled in his hands. He couldn't even begin to start detailing the number of ways he'd wanted to fucking butcher and rip apart his boss.
Andrealphus Goetia was no stranger to the spotlight, naturally. One of Hollywood's top directors, the man had been an influential cornerstone in the history of movie-making, a real legend to light the days. But behind that picturesque platinum reputation laid a monstrous piece of shit.
It had been a complete accident that Andrealphus had found out about Vox's identity.
Vox himself hadn't even really planned out what to do about himself at that point, only that he'd known that the dresses he wore on screen were far more suited to his best friend than they were for him. Knew that the copious amounts of makeup flattened on him everyday made him feel more like a clown than a princess, that it was the most uncomfortable feeling to have to sit and play the pretty face for the audience's sake.
But he persisted, telling himself, one more year, one more year til my savings account has enough to supply Val and I with a comfortable life and we can leave.
But of course- of course Andrealphus had to ruin it for him.
The man had found out and immediately proceeded to blackmailing Vox with the information, holding things such as promotions, media gossip and rumors over his head. And now... now... Vox stared down at the script he held clutched in his hand, his knuckles turning white as he grasped it with an iron grip.
"Dieser verdammte bastard," Vox muttered under his breath.
Though he'd never loved the spotlight that came with his first taste of fame, he had loved acting. Had loved being adored for his skill, applauded for the emotions that he could evoke in crowds of people and the way he could twist people's hearts. He had wanted to be one of the best, a household name.
And now, he stared down at the script for a movie that Andrealphus knew would tank his reputation. It was absolute bullshit. The plot was held together by thin strings and a bit of glue, despite being an adaptation of one of the past decade's best selling books. Not only that, but the moment he left the safety of the apartment once more, he would also have to contend with the rumors that were steadily piling against him and dragging his loved ones and friends into it too.
All this, because Vox had refused to sleep with his shitty boss.
He could still hear the fucker's voice- come on, don't you wanna say that you got a piece of me? I'll even leave out the part about you being a transvestite, darling, just the fact that I got a piece of you is enough.
God. If only.... if only he could see that bastard's face when he crushed his fucking skull in between his hands. He wanted to see Andrealphus' stupid face contort in revulsion and terror when Vox finally did the deed, wanted to bathe in the the fotze's inbred blood. He'd do anything for the chance to just kill that piece of shit-
"Amorcito?"
Val's voice makes Vox jump on the spot, quickly shifting to hide the script from view. His friend comes around the corner, eyebrows furrowed with concern, and it's this that makes Vox break his composure, a single tear falling down his face as Val frowns, taking a seat next to him on the couch. "Voxxy, amor... tell me what's wrong."
And because he can never keep his mouth shut when it comes to his best friend, Vox tells him everything. Val nods along, pauses at the right moments, all of that stuff that friends do when they're trying to let you know that they'd rip apart your shitty boss if not for the law.
But- and perhaps this is something that Vox knew deep down to be true anyway- Val was a bit different in that aspect. He'd met the man under... less than legal circumstances, after all, and he knew that Val was the heir to quite the illustrous cartel career.
So when Valentino stops him with a firm hand on the shoulder and hands him an application paper for Hazbin, telling him to think it through, Vox barely takes even a second glance at it before filling it out.
Now, two months later and sitting in the auditorium of Hazbin's famed Music Hall, Vox doesn't find himself regretting the decision. Sure, it's a bit lonely without Val's supporting presence by his side, but the students he's met so far have proved to be some of the friendliest people he's had the pleasure of knowing: ironic, considering the kind of school they're studying at. And he's even managed to make a friend! Not that bad a start, altogether.
Vox absentmindedly doodles on the edge of his notes as Professor Leviathan's soothing voice lectures them on the importance of a proper alibi. "If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, but it has an airtight alibi, it is...?"
"Not a duck," the auditorium echoes back to the professor, who nods, looking satisfied with the class's response. "So, then! The first step to alibi making is...? Miss Velvette, perhaps you'd like to answer this one for us?"
The girl sitting beside Vox shoots up in her seat, looking as if she'd just fallen asleep and was awoken by the professor's question. "Uh... the..."
After a moment of silence and stuttering, Vox takes pity on the girl, sliding Velvette over a slide of paper that she squints at before reading. "Make sure you're in a different place from the crime?"
"And how would I do that?"
"I... uh. Use an accomplice...?" Velvette stutters.
Professor Leviathan shakes his head, looking disappointed. "Not quite. One thing you will have to learn at Hazbin's is that you should never rely on any other person to carry your deed out for you. No hiring accomplices- after all, paid personnel's loyalty is shaky and they have no honor code preventing them from taking you to the police- and absolutely no committing crimes as lovers, unless you can guarantee that neither of you will be snitching. Would anyone else like to take a try?"
Vox raises his hand hesitantly. "Move the crime scene or otherwise obscure the culprit?"
Professor Leviathan snaps his fingers, "Yes! Absolutely. One of the best ways to make yourself an iron clad alibi is, if the pope is shot in the church at midnight, make sure that you are seen halfway across town in the bar at midnight; so drunk that you cannot even leave until your wife comes to pick you up at two- and no one will suspect you, even if he was actually killed right outside the pub and moved to the church instead. By moving the crime scene, you can make yourself an ironclad alibi. Obscuring the identity of the perpetrator and making it someone who couldn't possibly be you also works splendidly. After all, if the police believe the murderer to be a six foot tall adult man, then the actual perpetrator, a four foot tall young woman, would be able to pass by completely unnoticed. Thank you for that input, Vox. Now, onto the actual creation of such an alibi..."
When class ends, Vox is the first to leave his seat and head for the door, intending on leaving and getting to Track with Professor Satan as quick as possible when someone stops him in his tracks with a firm grip on his shoulder.
"Hey. Vox Vanhal, right?"
"That would be me, yes," Vox turns to face the person he's talking to, only to be met with the young woman that Professor Leviathan had called out in class earlier. "You were... Velvette?"
"Yep, that's me," the chipper young woman responds. "Listen, I know you don't know me at all, but I really need to get through this school year. Like- look, okay, I'm in a little bit over my head right now. I still want to go here and do what everyone here does, of course, I'd love to just go and plunge a damn butcher's knife into my cunt of an ex-friend's neck, but... well, you saw how I did back in class- look, what I'm trying to get at is I need someone to help me. And you're like, Leviathan's star student. So- I don't care what I have to do, I'll-"
Vox holds up a hand to stop her.
"I don't need you to do anything for me, unless you've got any tips on how to kill my boss and make him suffer during it. But I'll help you with whatever you need to study during your courses. Just..." He pauses, taking a moment to think out what he's about to ask. "Could you teach me how you did your makeup on your own?"
Velvette blinks, clearly not expecting that response. She laughs, a shrill, sharp bark and grabs his hand to shake it firmly. "Yeah, 'course I can. So, do we have a deal?"
"We do," Vox smiles. "Pleased to make your acquaintance."
#it would probably have made more sense for val to be the mean boss but i couldnt make myself go there#valvox friendship is still so dear and true to my heart im sorry villain val enthusiasts i couldnt do it#sorry andrealphus im sure youre not as bad a guy as im making you (i still have not watched hb)#there's not really much radiostatic in this installment sorgy#but on the brightside: i get to write vox and hes batshit insane and only keeping it together by the flys of his pants soo#Oh right. final thing to address voxs inner dialogue is VERY different from how he speaks proper bc hes used to covering up his feelings on#screen already so its really just like playing the role with everyone around him. but yeah he curses a lot and speaks german quite a bit#vals the only one (So Far) who he actually lets the mask down around and the relationship they have is soooorta weird cause vals gay but in#the way where he doesnt see vox as a 'real man' even tho he accepts and affirms his gender. so yeahhh thats complicated but it is the 50s#they do love each other but its not romantic. its like a qpr except one of them (val) sees it more as a lavender marriage#radiostatic#hazbin hotel#chai writes#ran rambles#EDIT FUCK I FORGOT TO TAG IT#the hazbin institution for homicide practitioners
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we're so fucking cooked ive made it all the way to waiting at my gate at this airport & ive seen a total of four other people wearing a mask
#its lowkey like insane how much this shit ends up feeling isolating like irl the only person i know who still masks is my partner who only#went back to doing it again when we started going out & i asked rhem to. like its so hard to reconcile my resl & genuine belief that#everyone whos given up on covid precautions is a brain dead moron who lacls self oreservation or decency with the fact that that would#include literallt everyone i love#texticles
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do you ever think about billy’s face as he walks up to the door and then the forced casualness as he talks to neil and how it becomes even more forced when neil says about max
#billy hargrove#neil hargrove#and then he gets nervous and starts moving around#the body language is insane#billy who can put on a performance and wear a mask for absolutely everyone except his dad#anyway#i’m sad about him again#neil’s smile when billy says he doesn’t know where max is#i hate him so so much#i will genuinely never be over how unfair this whole situation was
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been working in an office for three weeks and i already have covid 🤪
#the cognitive dissonance of coming to work while sick and not even bothering to wear a mask#and then getting shocked when everyone else around you starts getting sick#like are you fucking insane#are you stupid#why am i the one who feels like a fucking freak for trying to be considerate?? hello???? is this thing on?????#this is why i wanted a remote job#ky posts text
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Thinking about Karamatsu/Nozomi whole looking through some web weavings, and if I ever write something for them (currently in the phase of trying to come up with key events and organise them chronologically so it makes sense, thematically) I think I'd like this to be one of the take aways
In the event of a bad ending (dunno if I'm strong enough for that though 🫠 SHE CAN CHANGE HIM WITHOUT DYING im better than that), I hope that Karamatsu still finds it in himself to stop being so passive about his life. Like,
To stop waiting for the perfect moment or the perfect answer to dawn on him, and instead take life by reins and... Just start being an active participant in his own life. To embrace self-determination and the risk of committing to something that may not pan out but still forces you to take conscious and mindful action every day.
#nozomi takahashi#karamatsu#karanozo#thinking about what the sextuplets (say they) want out of life vs. what they do to achieve it vs. whats holding them back#you have cybermatsu who are the most driven/ambitious but where one is held back by anxiety/the delusion that thinking about being responsi#is the same as actually being responsible (i mean. i get it lol) the other one is held back by trying to cheat the system bcs he thinks he'#too smart for hardwork + the apprehension that if he earns something it may be disrupted by his family dynamic which is HEARTBREAKING#then parka who dont show much ambition and i think they embrace the mindset of not wanting more than they currently have#whilst ignoring the discomfort this creates. and i like to think Osomatsu is stressed by the knowledge that as the eldest he SHOULD be#striving for more no matter how much change scares him (sick dad skit + nyachan skit) whils Ichimatsu just has such a low image of himself#he probably thinks back to how hard he had to try I'm HS and gets discourage yet also ignores the successes he's had#(hc but i like to think everyone thought he and choro would be the most well adapted and traditionally functional members of society but it#didn't pan out. in Choro's case because he wasn't as good as he thought he was and in Ichimatsu's because realising that he'd have to mask#forever kept him from trying)#and then. kinniku. and I'm thinking how they're the two with the most obvious passions (the arts + sports) and how they're visibly#skilled (Kara) and talented (Jyushi) and Karamatsu even mentions in S1 that he tried to become an actor but gave up and Jyushi says he's#never actually played an official baseball match prior to the S1 finale and I go insane thinking that they also tried in their own way to#pursue less traditional passions but they were always held back until they allowed the passions to become an scape and a distraction#idk why i wrote all of this it's not actually that related to the post. like i would try to explore that hc in a fic but???#something possessed me lol. but it's written so y'all take it. ANYWAYS#rambles
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finally finished Ayato’s story quest and quick question: why the fuck do fanfic writers write him like that…… at least the smut ones anyways…… where in this quest do you get that impression of him…… am I insane or……
#like what in that quest makes you think yeah. Ayato definitely tortures people for fun#and he’ll call you the nastiest names in history while expecting you to thank him for it#BROTHER??? DID WE PLAY THE SAME QUEST????#he’s a bit conniving at MOST like that’s me being GENEROUS here sorry!!!!!#maybe it’s a mask maybe it’s a facade but the guy is a gentleman and he’s a little silly!!!! why the fuck does he call everyone a whore!!!!!#head in hands. this happens so often to characters in smut fics#you’re all insane sorry#like write them how you want I guess but holy fuck… there’s just so many of you who do it…..#fanon Ayato is a disease#ooc
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#he's so insane omg.#just like the.#the way that HE is a little freak who beats around the bush#the implication that nisei is like. direct and polite with him is also really funny.#because like yeah but also lol. because like that's implied to be masking but mei at some point points out that masking is to a degree--#the real you like WE KNOW NISEI CAN BE SO CUTES AND NICEYS ITS JUST LIKE OMG. SCREAMS THEYRE CRAZY sighs#nisei is also the kind of person who is just like masking and hiding and pushing away everything and i think like a lot of the stuff he--#feels gets filtered through the lens of anger like omg.#when mei complains about nisei not liking her it's so sweet like she hates him but wants him to like her bc she's so cutes and stuff and--#like we never see him being directly rude to her to her face which is like. sweet FOR NISEI. in his own way.#she like doesn't understand that he's like crazy and hates everyone because he's crazy but also moreoever it seems like he especially--#dislikes like.#children but in really specific ways like he hates incompetent children because he's projecting and he hates competent children because--#he's jealous and also self loathing as always lmfao like HE'S SO FUNNY IDK idk.#he's so crazy omg they're all so crazy. i love nisei he's so great. omg.#*hits him with my car and giggles*#mine
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the biggest sin i may commit on this blog is making ethan taller than 5’7”
#not by much.. just an inch or two#the in-camera perspective tricks are criminal#he is the same/close to the same height as everyone around him for the most part#AND i’m supposed to believe he impersonates people who are 5’10-5’11 😭#or in m:i 2 when sean impersonated him… and sean’s actor is like 6’0#unbelievable#either man’s got absolutely insane lifts in his shoes for mask work or i make him closer to 5’9#decisions decisions
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wild how the more i'm working on recovery. the more i realize how fucking bad i miss her.
#which still feels kind of insane and embarrassing since i didn't technically know her myself#(my alter did. i however barely interacted with her.)#but she knew me. she fucking knew me and saw me. i've talked about this in earlier posts but that's still the main thing that hits me.#i feel like nobody else has ever ever known me like she has. i've never felt that seen. and she loved me. she cared about me. she knew what#was underlying my outwards appearance and behaviors. she saw it and loved and cared for it. and because she knew it so well she didn't take#anything personally. (again. not douchey behaviors. just like... bragging for example. or being guarded. idk)#also there's so many things we relate on? felt like i could connect with her better. i think she and i would have been friends.#i dont know it's just#with everyone else it feels like a fucking obligatory social game i need to navigate#say the right things. act in the right ways. present yourself in ways they'll understand and interpret well. blah blah#i'm not even going anywhere with this i just miss her so bad and i'm fucking lonely and want to be seen like that again but i don't think#it can ever happen. because i got to be 100% myself but it was in a safe way and that's how she grew to know and love me#but it wasn't ME who made that decision to be vulnerable. and it was through a specific way that can't be done again because i'm here now a#an alter so it's guarded. and i can't be selfish and demanding and fully myself here because system morals are too strong for that.#even if the aforementioned thing COULD happen again. i haven't seen anyone who cares and understands and sees so deeply like she does.#it's just#i don't know#i just want to be myself and loved and seen for who i am.#but instead it always just feels like i'm having to navigate and manage social expectations and That's It.#maybe i just need to be friends with another narcissist. so i dont have to fucking mask anymore. only concern is if i'm actually being#myself - i have a high pitched voice and talk fast and talk a lot and am kinda obnoxious and high energy and#attention-seeking and dislike being alone and. yeah. that's annoying to the majority of people. which is why i am Not myself around anyone
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my dad might have fucking covid. about to jump off a bridge
#purrs#he was unmasked in my future room with the contractors yesterday and one of them woke up sick this morning and stayed in bed all day and now#my dad is feeling sick and my mom isn’t even better yet and i just saw so many people (WHO ARE VULNERABLE / HAVE VULNERABLE FAMILY MEMBERS)#in the last couple of days and now i might have exposed them. i am about to LOSE my shit. i need all respiratory diseases to die immediately#i am TIRED of living in constant fear. and i am FURIOUS at my dad for not wearing a mask.#like do you people NOT FUCKING GET IT. You may be cavalier. you may say you don’t care if you get it you can fight it off. BUT YOU INTERACT#WITH OTHER PEOPLE. who may not WANT to get sick. Who may not be able to DURVIVE getting sick. WHAT IS SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND. if you see#someone wearing a mask they are doing that FOR A REASON!!!! TO PROTECT THEMSELVES!!!!! TO PROTECT THEIR LOVED ONES!!!!! so fucking WEAR ONE#OUT OF COURTESY! USE YOUR FUCKING BRAIN! i don’t care if they’re hard to breathe in. I don’t care if they’re uncomfortable. I don’t care if#it’s your own house and you’re not used to it. SUCK IT UP. you can be uncomfortable for five minutes. you KNOW how anxious we all are about#getting covid and you DIRECTLY endanger us and now i might have put other people in danger. and i didn’t even choose it I didn’t do anything#wrong. FUCK COVID. fuck this collective punishment nightmare. I am SO TIRED of living in constant fear because OTHER PEOPLE want to pretend#it’s over. it fucking ISNT. there are things I care about. there are people I care about. and if you were a decent fucking human being you#would understand that and MASK UP. not everyone gets to be so glib about it. it’s hard enough being seen as fucking insane and still taking#damage from having basicaly 0 social life because im too afraid to go anywhere or do anything it’s harder when people around me who i can’t#help but interact with exhibit that they do not actually care about how it is improtant to me that i do not get sick or get my loved ones#sick ESPECIALLY when it is my loved one himself who KNOWS how scared shitless we all are. it fucking hurts so bad. fuck covid. FUCK covid.#delete later#like. despair. i can wear my n95 mask all i want but i am still fucking HELPLESS when people around me don’t. despair. DESPAIR.
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what did you think was gonna happen?! / riku and ken. their tomfooleries @eclipsedt / prompt.
From across the room, obvious about his staring, disbelief comes in the form of a slow blink and the slight tilt of his head. “That he’d spit it out.” Or make a displeased face. Yet, as if they hadn’t swapped sugar for salt in the coffee, Toshiro continues to calmly sip at his morning drink while working away at the desk — features composed and sculpted like any other creation of marble. Unflappable, that’s one more word to describe Toshiro as in Kenshin’s books. Leave it to Usagi to set him up so masterfully with a few teasing jibes, and now he’s sure Toshiro will make him eat something sweet as revenge to this failed little prank. “Nothin’ makes him break the act, yeah?”
#eclipsedt#eclipsedt / riku.#kenshin / interactions.#/ probably around early twenties#/ just kenshin feeling everyone out more and getting situated in the inner circle#/ and im having thoughts about him thinking about toshi's acting skills. how clever and cunning he can be#/ showing nothing save for what he wants shown#/ and kenshin finally able to see him for who he is. and cherishing that. and learning his tell#/ but then post break up. he can also see all the ways toshi is keeping up the mask#/ and recognizing the salt in the coffee prank was him showing little tells by the quirk of his smile. the slight tic in his brow#/ to indicate it tasted awful#/ JUST THEY MAKE ME INSANE#/ augh <3
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top 5 soapghost moments that happen in the game* >:)
*not sure i’m using the terminology correctly but i hope this makes sense anyway
ehehehehehehehehehehe >>>>:)
5: the cutscene where they first met is sooooo funny to me. soap's little shoulder tap. the way ghost's soul visibly leaves his body. this was in fact the moment that made me as obsessed with them as I am <3
4: graves' betrayal scene!!!!! I love how ghost is Looming in the shadows like he does and soap is right up there with alejandro (and I'm ALSO obsessed with how graves' dialogue color turns from blue [ally color] to red [enemy color] halfway through the interaction. peak cinema). and the SIDE EYE!!!!!!! ghost using soap's real name !!!!!!! I'm obsessed with them ur honor !!!!!!!!!!!!!
3: their BANTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! right after the betrayal scene they're separated and wounded in an unfamiliar city while being hunted down by a literal army, and they spend the entire time bantering at each other over comms and telling bad jokes to keep spirits up. it's soooooooo insane of them <3333333
2: ghost's unmasking scene <3333 (I couldn't find a shorter clip so the section I'm referring to ends at around 1:31) I loooooove masks as a narrative piece (part of the reason why I'm a dc fan <33) and in ghost's case it's SO !!!!!!!!!!!! his backstory is fairly complicated and I have sooo many thoughts about it so for the sake of keeping this at a reasonable length and also on-topic I won't include the ramble <33 but all the context you really need is that ghost never takes off his mask, ever. (I like to compare it to kaz brekker's gloves; the mask fills the same role for ghost and his trauma as the gloves do for kaz <333) and the look on soap's face when ghost does take it off literally lives in my brain rent-free at all times
1: THIS SCENE. THE SOAPGHOST SCENE OF ALLLL FUCKING TIME!!! the way soap trusts him so completely to watch his back. the way he only says a few words ("watch the window") because he knows ghost will pick up on the rest. the raw, audible relief in ghost's voice when he hears soap is alive. the way ghost takes the shot when it could have very easily hit soap instead but soap trusted him to take it. the way they immediately revert back to bantering even though soap was like .5 seconds away from death literally a few seconds ago. they're insane <3
some honorable mentions that were too small/minor to be considered for one of the Favorite Scenes but I like them regardless: the very last cutscene shows the whole team sitting at a bar, and ghost and soap are sitting by each other <333 there's also sooo many little moments in the missions/briefings after the mission where soap and ghost were stranded in las almas where they had some fun banter <3 and there were also sooo many moments where they saved each other (other than the Big One in the list) and like. there are too many moments to count. but they're the ultimate battle couple <3
#dw the terminology was soo correct <333#and even if it wasnt <333333333#anyway i <33333333 am soooo obsessed with them <3333333#ghost's backstory is SO !!!!!!#soap's doesn't have as much detail (there's hardly any info on his childhood) but <333 i've taken Liberties <333#but god.#ghost is literally sooooo trapped by the narrative it's insane#he's become the very thing his enemies tried to turn him into he's dead symbolically and emotionally and narratively#AND his callsign is ghost and he wears a fucking skull mask.#i just <33333333333333333333333333333#when the traumatized babygirls are haunted by the narrative <33#i care them SOO much <3#leo 🌻#the thing i love about the 141 (strike team soap and ghost are both part of) is that everyone is soooo fucking insane (affectionate)#but its like. everyone is a different Flavor of insane. they have Variety <3#yes the game is military propaganda yes my version of it is much gayer and much less government sanctioned <33#although to be fair. they do canonically go vigilante mode quite often <3 and i love them for it <3333#they're a fucked up family of fucked up individuals who do fucked up things to keep the world safe <3 what else is there <333
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thinking about how my high school generation survived that one year in which flu a almost became an epidemic, then we got to our first baccalaureate year and during the first week of summer they called us to go and get tested at the GYM because we had a tuberculosis outbreak, and then two years later the covid pandemic came.... 3/10 out of the biblical plagues!!! not bad not bad, come on team!!!!!!!!
#the girl who brought the tuberculosis with her from idk where was my friend too 😭 she was sick at the time so no one got mad like#she was the one suffering the most and it was amazing to see her recover!!!!! we wished her the best#but it was insane 😭😭😭 i remember being on the phone trying to calm down two of my besties trying to tell them they didn't get it#and then they DID LIKE NOOOJFJDJDJ#we laugh about it now because nothing happened to any of us but. damn 😭 everyone sharing pics of their arms with the test marks sjfssjfj#so moral of the story: respiratory diseases are EVERYWHERE. WEAR THAT MASK ‼️#like how are you over the age of 9 & coughing without even trying to put your hands over your mouth or something on the bus??? HELLO???#the flu a is coming back!!!! the normal flu IS out there!!!!!!!! covid hasn't left us!!!!!!#dara.t
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