#and even if they do its probably just going to be like hunting?
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What kind of wounds would a shotgun give to someone thats not wearing any bullet proof vest but just thick, winter jackets? Like those heavy jackets with fleece on the inside that old guys wear alot. ( I think its called a work jacket?)
I've always thought a shot gun would give some sort of blast damage and make quite a mess, but in The Day of The Jackal ep 6 it didn't seem that bad when he killed that farmer guy in Hungary lol.
So here's a fun thought to play with. A leather jacket is made from treated animal hide. In most cases, they're actually softened a bit to be more comfortable.
Shotguns are frequently used to hunt large game. Large game where their primary form of armor is their skin. Their skin which does almost nothing to stop a shotgun blast.
So, unless it's loaded with something like rocksalt, a leather jacket is not stopping a shotgun.
In answer to your original question, “what kind of wounds?” Catastrophic ones. It would be really messy.
Also, remember shotguns are still usable up to ~100 meters, at which they'll have a roughly 2m spray pattern. Getting hit by a shotgun, even at 50 meters, is going to be really bad. It's a bit like hitting someone simultaneously with a hail of small caliber rounds. Individually one piece of shot isn't likely to be lethal, but get hit with five or six of them, and that's a real problem. It's going to create a bunch of wound channels, and each wound has a chance to hit something vital, or ricochet and try again. And even at best, you're going to be losing blood from each of them simultaneously.
As for actual armor, most Level III or higher armor should stop a shotgun blast. However, shotguns are pretty good at damaging body armor. So someone wearing a ballistic vest who takes a shotgun hit, probably isn't going to be safe from the next pistol round that hits their vest anywhere near where the shot landed.
Similarly, with plate carriers, it should be fine, but there's a real risk that some of the shot chipped the plate. That's not going to cause the next shotgun blast to punch through, but it does mean that carrier now can't be trusted to stop rifle rounds.
Now, none of that are things you usually obsess over. For the most part, ballistic armor is single use anyway. If you're wearing a Kevlar vest and get shot, it's time to replace that vest. So, having your vest soak a shotgun hit isn't some kind of special tactic on your enemy's part, and is really just your vest doing its job.
Against unarmored targets, shotguns can be downright horrific.
So, using a winter parka to stop a shotgun blast is probably the result of someone who heard the, “shotguns are horrible at armor penetration,” line and took it a little bit too seriously.
There are some AP shells out there. Including slugs that market themselves as armor penetrating. I've never looked too deeply in to these. I know of their existence, but not how effective they actually are.
There's also probably some close quarters scenarios where a slug might punch right through body armor, even though, generally speaking, slugs lose energy extremely quickly, and at mid to long range, they're not going to penetrate. Ultimately, it is an 18mm bullet without a lot of powder behind it, so the drop off makes sense, but it's still a lot of mass to deal with when it's leaving the barrel. Even if your armor holds up, taking that hit is probably not going to be fun.
-Starke
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Transformers One setting, I like to headcanon that the 50 cycles when the High Guard were being hunted down were rough especially as energon no longer flowed. Now imagine soon after the events of the movie when Megatron is with the rest of the High Guard at their new base that’s still half being set up, Starscream or one of the others will just mention something extremely wild that happened to them casually to each other that it makes Megatron go “that can’t possibly be real” or “for your sake I really hope you’re lying”. For instance, imagine Starscream trying to actually impart some surface survival skills to their new leader and points to a set of weird looking plants/grass growing out of the planet and Starscream is like “if you’re ever extremely desperate and stranded with no energon sources wandering wastelands on the brink of shutting down, you can eat these as a last resort. It will give you the energy to stay online, but be careful. It’s best to only consume it if you have someone with you who can tie you up and carry you. I recommend taking shifts so you can keep moving forward”.
Megatron, confused: Wait why would I need someone to tie me up and carry me?
Starscream: Side effects. I mean it about it being a last resort. It makes you not yourself. Feral, aggressive, and a potential danger to both yourself and others. Then the hallucinations start setting in. You start hearing and seeing things. The visions are different for everyone, but rarely are they pleasant. And the feeling of it finally burning out of your system at the end hurts like a glitch.
Megatron: How do you even know for sure that’s what it does?
Starscream: First hand experience. But one day it could save your life so remember it.
Megatron, doubtful if Starscream is telling the truth, but morbidly curious: What did you hear and see?
Starscream: Have you ever seen the dead come back to life wrong and their face plates slowly melting off as you hear the dying screams of bots long past?
Megatron: No…
Starscream: Let’s try to keep it that way.
He wonders if maybe Starscream is just messing with him or trying to scare him about the surface, but then he turns his head to see Shockwave and Soundwave nodding seriously and confirming Starscream’s statements.
Shockwave, referring to Starscream: I used to have dents in my old arm from when he bit me under its effects. Of course I can’t show you since that was on my old arm before I lost and replaced it later down the line.
Megatron: Wait that’s not your original arm? What happened to it?
Shockwave, casually with no context: Oh Starscream cut it off. I don’t hold it against him though, it was the logical thing to do at the time.
Megatron is just like wtf were you guys doing in those 50 cycles?! In what circumstances does cutting off someone’s arm make logical sense?! Poor Megatron is probably wondering if it’s not too late to run back to Iacon.
I just like the idea that during those 50 cycles the High Guard were going through the Horrors™.
#transformers#transformers one#tf one#starscream#shockwave#megatron#tf one high guard#tf one starscream#tf one shockwave#tf one megatron#tf one spoilers#transformers one spoilers#I think the high guard should go through the odyssey levels of suffering during those 50 cycles#long post#headcanon
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And You Could Have It All/My Empire of Dirt
(Wild Life Session 6 Spoilers)
1.1k words, mentions of character death, nothing crazy violent
The first thing to go is the Bamboozler's base. it's spiteful, but Jimmy did land that kill on Mumbo that they never got proper revenge for. He burns the parrots one by one, scorches the cherry trees until its black instead of pink and green. He takes special delight in tearing down the reputation board. It's the only little spark of joy he feels.
Next is B's initial base. He turns the creaking forest to ash, feeling smoke fill his lungs with every breath. He killed Skizz, plain and simple. No dignity of a fight, just an ambush of a poor, stupid, lovable man. Later he found out via a guilt-ridden Impulse that they had taken advantage of a moment where Skizz was being stupidly valiant and took his armour off around Lizzie. It was stupid, but it wasn't supposed to end in death.
That was the last thing Impulse told him before he pushed him off the Spanner's TNT bridge. Grian had at least given him the small kindness of letting him fall where his best friend had, before taking care of the rest of his crew. Impulse out of everyone else, truly understood the pain of outliving Skizz.
The bases of the 4 G's are razed with ease. The second one even more so, with TNT traps and a full to the brim creeper farm underneath. It almost sounded like fireworks. He didn't want to think about TNT explosions. That's how they both went out. They were just having fun they weren't even hurting anyone what the hell did they do to DESERVE--
Ren and Martyn's sky-high treehouses become an unholy beacon of flame. They didn't even do much to them. He would have been angry at Martyn for the penultimate kill on Skizz, but it really was an accident, and Martyn had been horrified when Skizz died right in front of them. And he seemed repentant for the breeze charge kill. But that might have had something to do with the sword slowly cutting into his windpipe.
The Family's car and base was still besieged by ravagers, evokers, and raiders of all sorts from Joel and Gem's last stand. Grian wasn't touching that place with a ten foot pole. And they were probably the ones that were nicest to his boys, anyways. Gem had been to the point of exasperated at Skizz's performance and was always pushing him to do better. Despite being a powerhouse of a duo, they had never been threats.
Grian stands atop the TNT launcher, newly calibrated and aimed. He stood VERY far away from the speeding minecart in its little loop. This is where all of it happened. Where his lads had died, so suddenly and so pointlessly and so soon. Why them? They were two of the most harmless people of the lot of them. Was this a joke to them?
Grian pulls a lever, and the cart launches into the air. He goes to the end to watch it sail down, down, down, landing squarely on what was remaining of Tango's wood house. Most of it gets obliterated in the blast.
Sure, Tango had already gotten his comeuppance. Hunted for sport by Jimmy and Lizzie and B in honor of Skizz, or perhaps in penance of their actions against their little team. Their--quite literally--little trio. Tango had been brought to him by a triumphant Jimmy, tied up and gagged, and Grian got to have the honor of ending his final life. Not that it would bring anything back.
Jimmy scurried away after that, knowing the dark look in his eyes spelled trouble. And he was right. The next step up of the wildcard was so much worse than before. Endless night, a darkness so suffocating it quickly drove everyone insane with paranoia. The comfort of the sun would never be experienced again. Not when the lights of Grian's lives (this time around) were snuffed out.
Grian sends another minecart down. And another, and another. The pit that once was Tango's base is a crumpling maw of earth, rock, and scorch marks, going deeper and deeper. But it can never match the hole In Grian's chest.
If he was going to finish what his Spanners had started, he was going got damn well finish it.
He only stops when everyone's supply of explosives are depleted. That will have to do.
Finally, he flies over to the two makeshift graves he dug. Not that there was any body to bury. He runs his blackened fingers over the signs he placed, his silly epitaphs were all he could write, because if he spoke from the heart, there wouldn't be enough paper in the world to talk about how much he loved Skizz and Mumbo. It was fun and careless and joyful and laughter, and then his world became silent.
He hits between the two stone monuments and sighs, exhaustion fills his lung, alongside the smoky air. "Lads, it's just me left." His voice is hoarse from disuse. He can't remember when he spoke last. Maybe Skizz's funeral.
"Everything is burnt down. Spanners won. I'm so sorry that I didn't bring you with me."
A crackle and a crash from far above signals another fallen cherry tree.
"It's so bloody stupid. This time, I got to have fun with how things went, I had full control. And I lost you so fast. Maybe I should have been keeping a closer eye on you. Or done something to make it easier."
He receives no consolation or comfort, which is how he knows Skizz is truly gone. And Mumbo isn't here to bring that strangely driven attitude.
"It's not enough to bring you back, but I hope you can accept all of this as an apology." He prays a world without them going up in a hellish blaze is worth something to them.
What good was he, as a being with incredible power if he could only use it to play silly little games, and not save the people he chose?
"I don't think I can claim I won for you, because this doesn't feel like winning."
In the distance, a booming crash that could only be Ren and Martyn's bases falling echoed across the land.
"I did live for you, though. I lived beyond all the rest for you."
The endless night grew darker with smoke and ash. It smothers and suffocates and chokes and burns. Good.
As the darkness starts creeping around the edge of his vision, as the smoke starts to sear his lungs, Grian thinks 'at least next time, we'll be able to laugh about this'.
He loses consciousness, and he is crowned winner.
YEAH IM FEELING A WAY ABOUT THIS WAHHHHHHHHHHH MY BOY
SKIZZLEMAN YOU DID SO GOOD HONEY
#grian#skizz#mumbo#spanners#sub one club#wild life#wild life smp#life smp#life series#jimmy solidarity#ldshadowlady#goodtimeswithscar#impulsesv#bigbst4tz2#bigb#inthelittlewood#martyn inthelittlewood#solidarity gaming#geminitay#smallishbeans#tangotek#bdoubleo100#ethoslab#rendog#mumbo jumbo#skizzleman#zombiecleo#smajor#scott smajor#pearlescentmoon
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ik there's a lot of debate about how palia is mixing heavy lore into what's supposed to be a relaxing, coxy life sim but also like,,, i feel like the way they're doing it now is literally fine?
the lore is definitely part of the world and the quests, but there's literally no in game timer or consequences. nothing bad happens if a player doesn't want to complete the temple bundles or skips lore dialogue or puts certain quests on the back burner (and you can choose to not see certain quests on the main ui so there's no stress there either). like,, i get that the lore Is heavy and that some people don't want that in their cute farming sim but again, there's literally nothing forcing players to interact with or care about it. i genuinely do not see the issue??
#like?? im not trying to be mean#if anyone has insight on this and could explain Why its such a big deal thatd be nice!#but i really just dont get it?#like who cares if the cozy life sim game has a dark lore when you arent forced to care about it at all#completing the temples literally just gives you some resources and rewards#there's zero consequences for not finishing the lore quests or the temples#and like maybe im wrong but i seriously doubt the devs are going to add monster fighting mechanics in the future#like Maybe but i really doubt it#and even if they do its probably just going to be like hunting?#idk man like i keep seeing discourse about the lore being too much for the game and its like..#you dont have to care? youre not forced to interact with it? there is zero consequence if all you do is farm and fish?#so whyyy are people upset or worried about the future state of the game??#if they meant it to be an intense gory action fighting horror game then it wouldve been like that from the start#like im sorry but theyre not going to add something like that to a game theyve always marketed as a cozy life sim/mmo 😭#if theres a high demand for it maybe theyll make a second game or create content like a fucking webtoon aldhg#but theyre most likely not going to introduce it to the core game#like i feel like this fear is really unfounded? the devs havent said anything about changing the tone of the game?#theyve always stated that no matter what happens with the lore they want the game to be a safe and comforting space for players#so Why would they add gore or horror or force players to interact with the lore#what!!
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wait, why can’t a decent amount of the members in proto-thunderclan not hunt?
A lot of them have serious physical disabilities! It's enough that it poses a logistical problem, which they are committed to overcoming together.
Thunder Storm's three legs makes him slower than his companions. He's ferociously powerful, but like a male lion, he has to rely on his "lionesses" to slow a large animal.
Bright Storm has asthma from her heroics trying to save SkyClan cats from a fire. She's taking that from Gray Wing, who is famously the first major death now. Like her son, she has a difficult time with chasing prey.
Bumble is dyspraxic. She's a terrible hunter and fighter and struggles with self-worth because OTHERS used it to dehumanize her, and continues to, even after an entire society forms out of love of her.
Sunlit Frost has permanent nerve damage in his arm from the fire, and ends up working so hard that it makes his disability worse. A bite on the good paw from Snake becomes infected after he refuses to sit out from digging graves after the First Battle; I am planning a chunky B-plot about Sunlit coming to terms with the fact he has to retire early.
That's FOUR major members of a small group with physical disabilities that make hunting hard or impossible. They have a lot of logistical problems that I will actually be exploring solutions to.
#One of the solutions will probably be a hog hunt which I'm excited for#As there's a bunch of things each person can do to help with that#It's really such a shame that canon is so hyperfixated on disabled cats feeling like they 'need to be useful' in a very well established--#Society where they CAN just be comfortably cared for#It frustrates me that the series keeps portraying that as a Good Thing and not either a tragedy of self-worth OR an exploration of--#SOCIAL ableism.#So for BB!DOTC I'm going to try and take aim at both#Ok then; let's TALK about a small underdog group who needs its members to contribute#And let's talk about how even THIS little group INNATELY values its members. How that is good and natural#And how there's NO excuse for the bigger group to be so cruel. It's not neccesity. It never was. It was spite.#Thunder Storm says 'The point of having a group at all is to care for each other. NOT to have it serve you.'#Man really comes out here like FROM EACH ACCORDING TO HIS ABILITY. TO EACH ACCORDING TO HIS NEED#And I am trying to think of how to stress how MUCH food SkyClan has. Like how I'll show that...#I'll definitely need to make sure to set up a lot during the time Thunder Storm is Clear Sky's acolyte.#Btw does that sound like a good word? Trying to figure out what Tribe cats call their apprentices#Because fuuuuck no I'm not calling them To-bes
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🗡 mad cowboy disease....
#‡ ooc#high noon tbt.#thinking of Them while walking to the shops... on my own little quest...#there may be typos but ignore them#listened through mars hn yone playlist i loved watching the 2 hr movie in my head#listening through my hn playlost now maybe ill make tals a spotofy thing too for easier listening....#got so many little scenes in my head#talon munching any lil bug/lizard critter they catch. whether they actually Need to eat is unspecified#but you know. probably. anyway thinking evilly at how i can describe their meals as either tantalising or DISGusting#talon being afraid of ending up an almalgam of feathers and sludge but ove talked abt that before#need to write more talon monologues or story times#reminiscing now. will add more later#talon trying their best to get through a Normal Human interaction on a bar or smth tryong to hide what they are and keep their hat low but-#and theres always a but- someone either catches a glimpse of theor face n compliments them or gets in theor way like 'hey-' or they catch#a glance at feathers or brimstone....#talon getting chased to be put in one of those carnie 'strange encounters' shows... they either do get caught or...#get rid of their would-be captors#time for more thoughts. i need to design talons demonic form and maybe even what their gradual corruption looked like 🤔#i also need to decide on a few factors abt how im treating their cape as tendrils instead... like if they naturally had 5 or lost one...#and how much control over individual segments they have#thinkin abt talon getting in trouble but not like. threat of death danger maybe a malevolent third party who wants them for something else#be it their blood or feathers or smth like that. maybe even after REDACTED and they get a bounty set by the sulfur king for REDACTED reason#to be brought back alive and hunters go after em......#oh. who can a demon slash half angel turn to in these trying times... 🥺😔 not that they want to rely on anyone#talon would rather die than rely on another creature for help. im kidding. :] or am i#thinking abt the thing i said to mars like. after their travels together talon tries to keep their distance from rell and yone but.#fate or something worse keeps bringing them back together. i said it better beforehand but anyway.#if its during this time of being hunted and they cross ways i can imagine talon not staying long at all or just turning 180 at the sight#part the fear the other two will join this hunt as well. the other part is that theyll be in danger if talon asks for help...#nor do they want to owe a debt to these two ough 😒
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I need to draw my rook bc I actually do have some ideas for them I just. Have NOT been in a creating mood idk I'm so tired... Aoughgggh
#crow rambles#i want to write and i want to draw and i want to do a million things and i am doing NONE of them...#insane... crazy even...#like. i have several fic ideas i wanna write (nothing new there) but i am not writing them#i. well i dont have any art ideas now but i WANNA draw but ohh. hard :(#i think i may be having a little creative burnout... give me like four days ill be back on my game#i can never stay away from art for too long. i get itchy if i dont draw for a few days#longest ive went without drawing in the past like. decade. has been a week and that was when i got covid#my ass can NOT put the pencil down#i do want to get some of my rook ideas into fic bc i think it may help me flesh them out a little bit#while i do have a lot of criticisms of dav i kinda wanna stop focusing on them so much#bc i KNOW ive been posting about them alot on here#and while i don't think the game SHOULDNT be criticized (it definitely should) i dont want to be solely negative on it#bc i actually did have fun playing it#and i want to reflect it in my posts lmao#however. i love bitching. i am so good at bitching#its a competitive sport and im winning. top tier bitcher thats me#idk i should probably replay the game bc its always easier to make a protagonist for a dragon age game once you know the plot#but also i want to finish my dao replay... and replay da2... and finish my dai replay i never finished lmao#im at the landsmeet in dao so it shouldnt be much longer. i plan on skipping the golems dlc this go round bc i dont really like it and it#doesnt add very much to the plot imo. everytime i play it i get pissy over the harvester. fucking AWFUL boss#tried killing it on hard mode. once. i am never doing that shit again i HATEEEE that stupid thing#<- by landsmeet i meant i am doing the denerim quests right before the landsmeet. im just before the whole 'anora got locked up' thing#am NOT looking forward to the alienage... idk i really want go get to witch hunt 😭😭
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Listening to coinstar by the growlers and thinking about mel so hard I get nauseous
Ridiculous stream of conscious in the tags apologies but not really
#it speaks#white woman moment#its really funny bc like. its very much a her to jfk song#(everyones favorite problematic short king)#but she looks at him with uhhh#like heres this kid(hes 28) standing on the precipice o what she had been all those years ago#but he KNOWS it she didnt know she thought she had mold poisoning from her shitty apartment until she died#and she is projecting so much onto him. which is part of why she doesn't respect him at all#'im a sucker just like you'#its also funny bc like. it is Too Late for Phoenix.also its scary that theyre hungry bc as far as she knows death avatars arent supposed 2 b#but also theyre the first one shes met. and Phoenix is kind of just scary in general.#but being around those two is like. almost flashbacky(jfk also reminds her alot of her ex aroun that age tho audreys dad was Worse)#(she never met him but heard enough stories about the guy and i mean. he fed her to the hunt on purpose.#i dont think jorges dad wanted what was going to happen to happen)#part of why she texted her so fast tbh. not that they hadnt talked at all since the divorce.#i thinj they talked. not alot bc mel WAS in europe and international data rates pre smartphone age oof ouch#and also like. they did irrevocably harm eachother physically and mentally but they do both careeeeee#tho. i do not think melissa wouldve ever dropped everything to go help audrey like audrey would and did for her.#(girl who runs away from her problems x girl who is a dog)#auuughhhhhh#she really is my chew toy.#i also think alot about her sky mafia years but those r fun and sexy little secrets for me#as much as i love Basil's motw campaign i do with it was easier to unentangle her from tma lore.#bc like. normal vampire works well but it loses so much of the flavor. various sea beasts keep the flavor but loose the morality.#for pathfinder if i were to redo her id go with storm oracle and then spec into kineticist. which does work Ok I Guess.#but like. even that its still not what i want#one scene that probably would've never happened in game but i thought ahout if we ever went back to the item storage or maybe a wierd thrift#shop or something was to like. have her come across a violin and pick it up and make it scream horribly. like. really concentrate on making#it make the worst noise imaginable. shes trying to reach that wonderful horrible music avatars mention alot in the earlier seasons#and then realizes everyone else Hates That So Much and jokingly play one of the devil's riffs from tdwdg. tbh i should finally draw that
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Earlier I encountered another fun isat glitch while fighting the king but this time instead of Odile crashing my game she decided to just stop taking damage and tbh that's how it should be all the time. About to take damage? Don't.
#rat rambles#stars posting#ok well actually the glitch was that miras friend quest shield didnt go away the whole battle but shhh it funnier this way#also gotta love how the switch cant handle isat like At All lol#like I dont care because Im used to playing games at 2fps but its still funny#Im also getting close to the point that I can finally enact my grand plan of suffering#as in like Im right fucking there I just need to finish the ending again#finally did all the friendquests after delaying a bit to do some miscellaneous dialogue hunts instead#Im also probably gonna hang out in act 3 for a while longer to hunt for some repeat friendquest dialogue#I am itching to get to act 4 since I feel like theres a lot of dialogue there Ive never seen but I wanna be thorough#but yeah I might have to start watching another isat playthrough to entertain me for my grind tomorrow#Im not married to the idea of hard committing to the grind but I wanna at least try#because I simply want to see if I can#also the stronger sif and the rest of the party can be for the rest of the game the better#Im going to have to fight the king a lot more and I wanna be able to get through it at least fairly quickly#I dont even know how high level the game lets everyone go tbh but I can sure find out if I try hard enough#I might have to look it up and do some math to find out how bad of an idea this is lol
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I really don't know if I can keep doing this job. All the crap I was most afraid of when I was getting my degree that would make me hate doing the job didn't bother me much for the first year or so but now I feel like I'm dying every time I have to come in here and chase people down for important shit that's missing or incorrect that needs to be fixed before I can pay something and I genuinely don't know what to do about it. I feel like I don't really have any other options than to continue working the job I have but I also want to die for the first time in like a decade
#just keep telling myself dont even worry if its done well or done right#does it even really matter does anyone else care#do it slow do it weak do it lost and dead inside and dont worry about it#no one's life depends on it even though people make it feel like that#i just have to do enough to get to the next day#and hope it's enough that i dont get fired#ive got bills to pay and i really dont want to go job hunting when i know i'd probably end up with something that doesnt pay as much#and it probably wouldnt be any more rewarding or any less difficult than what i already do#but i can rationalize and logic at myself all day the bottom line is i hate this and i dont wanna do it and i need a break so bad
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hi i have a question
my (rust he/they) kismesis (cerulean it/its) is a really good hunter and weve hunted together a few times
but everytime it comes back from a hunt it gets really tired and sore to a degree thats more than most trolls i know
i dont want to act red but i also dont want my kismesis to feel bad after hanging out with me
is there anything i can do to make it feel better or should i just call up its moirail (olive they/them) and leave it to them?
ok you barely gave any information here idk it depends on how serious the problem is
good advice: honestly id fucking hate if my kismesis got on me for something like that and not in a good way so id say if youre that worried tell its moirail but if youre really really determined to do something find some shit it can do to recover from that and dont be pitying about it
the "youre such a fucking idiot for not taking care of yourself" angle is obviously a classic you can always go for something like buying it ice packs and being all "here since you dont have any common sense" and maybe even walk it through how to use an ice pack slowly step by step with way too much detail like you think its just way too dumb to get it thatd be hilarious and fun
or if its really fucking stubborn and wont admit that it needs to take better care of itself try for a sparring match while its still sore and when it cant keep up then you can use that to tell it obviously it needs to be doing better at that and then you can either take the ice pack approach where you tell it how or let it figure it out on its own cause it probably can
or anything else honestly its not even that hard to not act like you pity them let their moirail worry about them and be all "oh noooo" youre not that troll youre the troll who goes "you should know better than that dumbass"
bad advice: disregard all the other shit i just said toss that out im a changed troll now so what you should actually do instead is tenderly go all "oh nooooooo are you ok? wow it just hurts me so much when youre hurt i hate to see you hurt like that maybe we shouldnt go hunting ever again" and treat it like a sad hurt pet barkbeast with the biggest most sopping wet saddest baby barkbeast eyes
if it starts getting mad at you thats proof its more hurt by its severe injuries than you thought and you should absolutely double down dont worry trust the process itll be fine
#pitch stuff#asks#if its good at hunting and it likes hunting telling it not to do it is kind of stupid unless its getting seriously injured#and i doubt it doesnt realize its getting sore and tired after that shit#so push it into doing something about it#or tell its moirail that it needs to#or you can go really hard on acting like youre its moirail and you pity it sooooo so so so much and wow youre just so hurt and worried#and either yall will vacillate or itll get insanely pissed at you#either would be kind of hilarious#does anyone even read my tags when i go on for this long actually#i guess anyone following this blog is here to hear me talk#or to watch me flirt with grey lmao actually its probably mostly that
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sometimes it really does feel like awakening walked so inquisition could crawl
#plot-wise mostly#imagine a game designed like inquisition but it's awakening......#you have advisors and a war table would make sense and you've gotta get a bunch of recruits#but it still makes sense to be doing the bulk of the work yourself because you're the commander (and arl) and you're rebuilding the ranks#i wish you could mod inquisition as well as you can mod origins because i would absolutely commit myself to remaking awakening in dai#da#dao#dai#personal#i occasionally see people talking about how cool an origins remake would be and if they included awakening in that it'd be SO cool#and amgarrak would also make sense as part of awakening as like. a similar kinda thing to the descent#witch hunt not so much because you can leave at the end. i guess it'd be better postgame like trespasser#ive thought about what i could do with origins as a dai mod because you've already got redcliffe#but modding dai is so hard beyond superficial dialogue or texture changes#they dont have a broodmother model tho. and i dont think they have anything even remotely similar#nor desire demons. cowards#anyway im not saying all this because it's something im planning. it's absolutely not. im not getting into dai modding it sucks#but back to the actual post.#like it would MAKE SENSE that you're collecting requisitions and that you dont have a team doing all the exploring for you#you still find quarries and logging stands because you basically do that for wade anyway#the blackmarsh and wending wood could be really cool as larger and more involved areas (as long as they actually had stuff to do)#so would kal'hirol. i just mean in terms of open outdoor environments#vigil's keep could have more than one room lmao#they could have done that in the original too but also.. it was an expansion not a full game. im more thinking about its potential#how would you go about expanding the plot to make a full game then?#i guess each of the three major quests would have to have more going on and also have more side quests in each area#(as long as they're actually interesting and not just miscellaneous collection quests)#they could add romances but then....what do you do with anders? they couldnt really make him romancable for both hawke and the warden-cmd#if you increased the size of awakening you'd probably add more companions i guess? the main games all have ~9
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the media which consumes your entire soul at age 12 will forever be a part of you. this is an unavoidable consequence of living and you have to accept this fact. no matter how old you get, no matter how long it has been since you last saw its smug face peeking out from the bushes as it follows you, no matter if you think you have outrun it for good and that you're finally finally safe and you hardly even remember it exists anymore and your brain knows a few brief moments of true peace, it WILL catch up to you in your moment of weakness. and listen you don't want to hear this but sometimes this is necessary for your mental health. you will on instinct want to reject it and run away again but sometimes. sometimes you just need to watch that old show or listen to that silly song or read that weird book again as an adult and it will hurt you a little bit in various little ways but it will also heal you a little bit. you can call it nostalgia you can call it connecting with your inner child or whatever you want but just listen to me it WILL HAPPEN TO YOU TOO AT SOME POINT AND YOU HAVE TO BE PREPARED FOR THIS (i am forcibly dragged off the stage by security)
#heed my warning boy#it seems i am not well today#recently made the reluctant decision to revisit what was probably my VERY FIRST real hyperfixation#something that i don't necessarily want to mention by name right now because. well#its pretty objectively bad LOL like i dont think i know of ANYONE still posting about it or really proud of having liked it back in the day#i dont think it is as well known to the general public so it wont get me hunted down for sport even if i did name it probably hopefully#but for those who know its. probably not the best thing to be revisiting lmao (even though i think it might still be being made?? wtf)#but i felt i had to because i was about to start my period and was going crazy insane like you do you know how it is#and i randomly remembered a fanfic i loved and then remembered my fav character and how much i loved him#my actual first ever blorbo oh my GOD he was everything to me#so i reluctantly decided to rewatch “just the first few episodes” just to see how much i remembered and also to prove to myself it sucks#but surprise surprise: nostalgia and hormones are making me actually kind of enjoy it#and now i am suffering from fucking Catholic-like Guilt for not hating it which i think is pretty silly lmao#so im kind of posting this in an attempt to convince myself that its like. FINE and cringe is dead and all that#and that sometimes i gotta be nice to my little mentally ill brain and give it the junk food (bad media) it craves#ESPECIALLY when im on my period LMAO#anyway completely unrelated: why the FUCK do i still remember almost every single fucking word to the delicious tomato song SDHJFKSAJF#i hope no one actually reads this far in the tags bc i know that reveal will probably deal psychological damage to some of you LMAO SORRYYY#ok yeah posting this and then immediately going to bed so that the Haters cant reach me LOL SEE YA
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weeks of not wanting to write and tonight i want to write Everything. i cant do that come on man
#like. i want to finish the ghost hunting fic that is actually genuinely coming to the end now (only took over a year. for less than 10k)#i want to continue the One With The Fancy Party#i want to write cal and the boys partyhopping and doing crimes again#i want to write this one original story ive had stuck in my head forever abt an old knight and the tragedy of having chosen ones#i cannot do all of these things. i cant even do all of those tonight lol#levi.txt#ill probably do the knight story. and maybe the fancy party if i get distracted#thats the one im most fired up abt rn#its had a sad premise forever now but i finally feel like it has MEANING bc i know how it ends. and its not going to be sad#yes its abt knights but its about community and sacrificial lambs/moral scapegoats and activist burnout#theres hope. its just not where theyve been looking to find it
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Will never forget being a kid and telling someone i was south african only to have them ask:
"Did you have clothes in africa?"
"Had you ever had a bath before coming to Australia?"
"Did you live in a house with walls and bricks?"
Like. Yeah, I guess we were 8... But also i feel like a lot of people's understanding of "Africa" has never really progressed past that point.
#its why i get so like... tetchy about generalisations regarding africa#like. its one thing if people are like. have you ever seen a lion in the wild. cos like. for aussies you do just see the wildlife loose#but some people 100% uncritically view africa as a backwater with everyone living in tribal societies#like we dont have skyscrapers too#like the poorest countries in the world have high rises and skyscrapers...#like yeah there is abject poverty too. and its poor person poverty not white person poverty. like poverty poverty#but that doesnt mean that the people arent.... human...?? yknow?#idk ive just dealt with a lot of very dehumanising attitudes#also im white so i had a very priveliged upbringing but when kids asked those questions i was IMMEDIATELY intimately aware that they saw me#as lesser#i wasnt a peer to them. i was beneath them. i probably hunted my own food and didnt know what a supermarket was#but yeah. being “from africa” brings interesting baggage i tell ya#lets just say that your parents playing the “kids starving in africa” card is *a lot* more effective#esp in my case bc my family was very poor in ZAR and food was always a bit of a touchy subject#when ur parents are skipping meals so you can eat and you have the misfortune of being a bit fussy... yeah...#yeah. you dont really get to have sensory issues with food. like my parents relented and let me skip peas and corn bc they would make me#have astronomical meltdowns. but like. other foods i had problems with too but they were 6/10 bad instead of 10/10 bad#so i just had to learn to eat them anyway and mask my emotional reactions.#im still trying to unlearn this. i still feel so guilty when i struggle with a texture and leave food on my plate.#and im still learning to be okay with having certain foods be like absolute no-go's without feeling foolish or childish about it#didnt even realise i had the coriander soap gene at first cos i am not unfamiliar with eating things even if my body says NOOO#anyway. long tangent. but the whole “you could be living in poverty right now” thing instead is... its like the parent nuke#i remember i got so offended once when my friend said that he hated being Australian and complained about what was bad with it#and like. he had points. Australias not perfect. but i have Immigrant Baggage and so complaining about Australia is also like...#idk like. i could be living in south africa. im pretty stoked to be here..#so my brain cant be normal about it. and im also paranoid about people thinking im a bad immigrant for having problems with Australia etc
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Binge-reading Dungeon Meshi because it's the only thing standing between me and suicide ngl.
#it at least gave me the single molecule of mental energy required to force myself to eat at least one slice of bread#because it's like the physical energy is there sure but mentally I'm like 'noooooo I don't want to eat anything i hate food#all food tastes bad and i hate life and i want to eat nothing at all and furthermore i need to lose weight so i should starve myself'#I'm thinking that it might actually make me last until I either convince the crisis center that I'm for fucking real for real#or until my appointment with the school counselor. which idk when would be because i was supposed to go on the#2nd of April but i guess there might be holidays because he called me when i was atva lecture but i couldn't take it#because i had a lecture and he hasn't called since but I'm assuming#that hell call again and that he wants to let me know that the date is impossible#but I want to like wait and see what he says. and if he goes like 'oh actually im on a long vacay now goodbye forever'#or whatever I'll just go '...slay' and ride my ass to the hospital tomorrow.#show up at the crisis centre looking exactly like the patients with chronic pain who report pain 7 while looking unphased#like 'hello i am an active danger to myself I can't get out of bed most days; i need 16 hours of sleep to function for 4 hours#my meds have stopped working I haven't eaten anything but exactly 2 pancakes and a slice of bread in the past 4 days#and i exhibit a strong refusal to change this marked by thoughts present in people affected by eating disorders. no activity#feels fun anymore and they were marked by a strong sense of anxiety a few days ago but now i just feel nothing at all.#at this point I'm not even refusing to do any of my hobbies because im increasingly afraid of failure and its#consequences while being hunted for sport by anxiety from the opposite end telling me that i need to finish 50 masterpieces#immediately or nobody will ever like me again and they'll all see me for the talentless fraud i am. at this point i just don't care.#i don't do anything because i feel sluggish and my body is heavy and I'm so so tired and I'm tired of being awake and I can't think straight#also i think i might be going into a psychotic episode again.'#they're gonna tell me to get the fuck out of their faces anyway but it's worth a try.#like idk i feel like they might kinda listen because yesterday I guess they wouldn't have but today i have stopped caring about cars#and looking both ways. which is like. not a good sign probably. also yesterday i was still somewhat able to talk to people#even though i was in a very irritated and drained out state but today I'm feeling like if anyone even fucking attempts to talk to me#or if i hear any loud fucking sound at all I'm just gonna punch myself in the head until the pain drowns out all the sound
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