#I might have to look it up and do some math to find out how bad of an idea this is lol
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skrunksthatwunk · 5 months ago
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household enemy to the yyh watchthrough number one is the olympics. it's taken us a week to get two episodes into the gamemaster fight
#out of three. please the third episode's what makes it okay im fighting for my life out here#it is NOT for lack of trying on my part but theres only a brief window of time when the olympics is not happening#and as it turns out the watchthrough is Not my mom's first priority (how dare she etc)#i do feel slightly bitter that we've gotten through two eps of band o brothers in the same time#we are fighting for the same timeslots yet somehow the hour long show's gotten a leg up??#you don't have time for a 23 min ep but DO for a 60 min one?? explain the math to me please#idk how to explain the vague feeling of betrayal bc it Does Not make sense Nor matter in the slightest#but cmonnnn we were doing so well. and my little bro's starting up school again soon and my dad's gotta go back to work#sometimes eventually (<- hes on medical leave) and my grandparents are coming over next week We're Losing Time Soon#ughhh if i'd known the olympics were happening (<- somehow completely oblivious to this) i'd have accounted for#my mom getting whisked away by the land of synchronized divers and shot putters and whatever the hell#happens in the summer olympics (<- only pays attention to winter olys)#bc that always happens. and *i* have to go back to school in Some Amount Of Time Im Too Scared To Check (p sure it's late aug though) and#when that happens i'll (hopefully) be stuck across town which means we won't be able to do it any time besides the weekends#and i don't wannaaaaa#i know this is the least important problem anyone's ever had like i get that i know but#it's important to me that they sit down and watch this with me. and watching it pull apart and being#the one who's easily the most invested it makes me look all desperate when i ask them for their time and they can't give it#we can only pull this off neatly in the summer and we were so close and now we're losing it right at the finish line#i don't want life to get in the way of this little bubble i've fought so hard to make y'know#and it's childish and embarrassing and whatever but i just want them to have fun with me with this thing i care about a lot#but i can't do that bc my mom needs to watch the judo matches at Every weight class#even though she's recording a lot of them? i don't understand but whatever i know it's her thing im just moping about it ig#i want it to be as perfect an experience for them as possible and it's slipping away from me#and i don't wanna leave this project unfinished when i start school y'know. sighh#i think they might feel like i only want them around when we're watching stuff. whcih is weird bc that's like#The Singular Way we family bonded literally my whole life so idk why they wouldn't get that when reversed#but either way that IS how i wanna spend time with them. i want them to understand this thing that's become a part of me#and i wanna talk With them about it. and so far it's been fun in a way it's never been before. my mom at least seems to really like it#and i want it to Keep going well bc if we lose momentum im worried they'll start finding it tedious. sighh
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arolesbianism · 4 months ago
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Earlier I encountered another fun isat glitch while fighting the king but this time instead of Odile crashing my game she decided to just stop taking damage and tbh that's how it should be all the time. About to take damage? Don't.
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ruins-of-gods · 4 months ago
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Something that I think Warhammer 40,000 storytellers miss sometimes is the sheer scale of their setting. I mean, don't get me wrong - I love the big, dramatic clashes, the characters you can buy in mini form and their convoluted, interwoven lore, the dramatic combats against unstoppable foes across a thousand ruined worlds. But that's the top of the setting, as it were - the most powerful beings in the universe, all fighting for supremacy. And at ground level, the level of the ordinary person, are so many other stories.
Did you know that a Lunar-class void cruiser has a crew of 95,000? Nearly a hundred thousand people, aboard a spaceship five kilometers long. A city, flying through outer space to wage war. Many of those people are proper trained soldiers, fresh from some academy or veterans of long, grueling campaigns, and many more are pressed into service, begrudgingly laying their lives at their Emperor's feet. But, unless the ship is currently actively involved in a really bloody campaign, most of those people were born aboard that ship. Most of their parents were born aboard it. And their grandparents. And their great-grandparents. Lineages stretching back centuries, so far that the original soldier who came aboard has been forgotten. A lot of those people probably know, on some level, that they're aboard a ship flying through space - but a lot of them probably don't, and I guarantee you almost none of them understand what that means. This ship is their world. To look out the window means madness so often that they avoid it - not that windows are readily available anyway. Most of them probably barely even understand that they're fighting. All they know is that when the readouts on their analog instruments display like so, when they hurry to obey the blared orders through the klaxon, the Emperor is pleased with them. They were born into that world. When they were children they did smaller tasks the adults couldn't. Their entire existence was winding metal corridors, laid out according to some archaic design, any logic that might dictate their layout long since degraded after millennia of ignorant maintenance, lit only by emergency lights that have long since become the default. They learned how to read an angle readout or how to relay an order perfectly the way another child might learn history or math. When they grew up, their service was flawless, born of pride and ignorance, and when they grew old and died, their legacy was remembered until it was forgotten. Many were killed in battle, but who cares? They gave their lives to the Emperor - a name whose meaning they don't understand, but whose importance they believe in wholeheartedly, all but synonymous with the commanding officers up above.
Sometimes, the klaxons sound a specific command, and every person on board who understands what it means feels a deep, awful dread as they run to their battle stations. They don't know what a warp jump is. They don't understand they're going from one place to another by the fastest way available. All they know is that, for a time, the ship dips into hell. The corridors go wrong. Things and people might not be where or what they were before. Daemons stalk the halls, and must be killed by any who can hold a lasgun. The overcrowded berths, the little nooks that families find for themselves - they are not private anymore. They are not safe. Things drift through the shift that do not care about the laws of physics, but that delight in killing and torturing human beings. Vast energies shake the ship and tear parts of it away - their home, their world, their existence, the biggest thing they can imagine, assaulted by something bigger. Is it the Emperor's punishment for failure? Is this what battle is? What's going on? They don't know, and no one who does can be bothered to tell them. The dread of those who have seen this before is even worse, because they don't know how long it will be. It might be just a few hours. It might be days, or weeks, or months, or years, or decades. It might be centuries, as the captain of the ship goes hunting daemons deep in the warp - the officers live that long, after all, and have little care for those who don't. There will be people born in hell, who spend their entire lives fighting from the day they can stand, and who die in hell, as old age and need catch up to them and they curl up in a corner to perish. To them, it isn't even hell. It's just the world. The world is death and pain and cruelty, an infinite metal box through which monsters stalk, and sometimes you must run to a battle station and do as you're ordered to do. And sometimes, as they reach forty or fifty or even a ripe old sixty, the ship drops out of the Warp, and, for the final years of their life, they are granted a life of relatively safe service better than anything they ever hoped to dream of.
Those are the kinds of stories I want to see more of. Super-soldiers fighting each other is cool, yes, but I want to see this universe explored. I want stories from the perspective of those that keep the Imperium going, or the aeldar, or the tyranids, or anyone, really. There's just so much potential in this setting. It deserves it.
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insertdisc5 · 1 year ago
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📚 A List Of Useful Websites When Making An RPG 📚
My timeloop RPG In Stars and Time is done! Which means I can clear all my ISAT gamedev related bookmarks. But I figured I would show them here, in case they can be useful to someone. These range from "useful to write a story/characters/world" to "these are SUPER rpgmaker focused and will help with the terrible math that comes with making a game".
This is what I used to make my RPG game, but it could be useful for writers, game devs of all genres, DMs, artists, what have you. YIPPEE
Writing (Names)
Behind The Name - Why don't you have this bookmarked already. Search for names and their meanings from all over the world!
Medieval Names Archive - Medieval names. Useful. For ME
City and Town Name Generator - Create "fake" names for cities, generated from datasets from any country you desire! I used those for the couple city names in ISAT. I say "fake" in quotes because some of them do end up being actual city names, especially for french generated ones. Don't forget to double check you're not 1. just taking a real city name or 2. using a word that's like, Very Bad, especially if you don't know the country you're taking inspiration from! Don't want to end up with Poopaville, USA
Writing (Words)
Onym - A website full of websites that are full of words. And by that I mean dictionaries, thesauruses, translators, glossaries, ways to mix up words, and way more. HIGHLY recommend checking this website out!!!
Moby Thesaurus - My thesaurus of choice!
Rhyme Zone - Find words that rhyme with others. Perfect for poets, lyricists, punmasters.
In Different Languages - Search for a word, have it translated in MANY different languages in one page.
ASSETS
In general, I will say: just look up what you want on itch.io. There are SO MANY assets for you to buy on itch.io. You want a font? You want a background? You want a sound effect? You want a plugin? A pixel base? An attack animation? A cool UI?!?!?! JUST GO ON ITCH.IO!!!!!!
Visual Assets (General)
Creative Market - Shop for all kinds of assets, from fonts to mockups to templates to brushes to WHATEVER YOU WANT
Velvetyne - Cool and weird fonts
Chevy Ray's Pixel Fonts - They're good fonts.
Contrast Checker - Stop making your text white when your background is lime green no one can read that shit babe!!!!!!
Visual Assets (Game Focused)
Interface In Game - Screenshots of UI (User Interfaces) from SO MANY GAMES. Shows you everything and you can just look at what every single menu in a game looks like. You can also sort them by game genre! GREAT reference!
Game UI Database - Same as above!
Sound Assets
Zapsplat, Freesound - There are many sound effect websites out there but those are the ones I saved. Royalty free!
Shapeforms - Paid packs for music and sounds and stuff.
Other
CloudConvert - Convert files into other files. MAKE THAT .AVI A .MOV
EZGifs - Make those gifs bigger. Smaller. Optimize them. Take a video and make it a gif. The Sky Is The Limit
Marketing
Press Kitty - Did not end up needing this- this will help with creating a press kit! Useful for ANY indie dev. Yes, even if you're making a tiny game, you should have a press kit. You never know!!!
presskit() - Same as above, but a different one.
Itch.io Page Image Guide and Templates - Make your project pages on itch.io look nice.
MOOMANiBE's IGF post - If you're making indie games, you might wanna try and submit your game to the Independent Game Festival at some point. Here are some tips on how, and why you should.
Game Design (General)
An insightful thread where game developers discuss hidden mechanics designed to make games feel more interesting - Title says it all. Check those comments too.
Game Design (RPGs)
Yanfly "Let's Make a Game" Comics - INCREDIBLY useful tips on how to make RPGs, going from dungeons to towns to enemy stats!!!!
Attack Patterns - A nice post on enemy attack patterns, and what attacks you should give your enemies to make them challenging (but not TOO challenging!) A very good starting point.
How To Balance An RPG - Twitter thread on how to balance player stats VS enemy stats.
Nobody Cares About It But It’s The Only Thing That Matters: Pacing And Level Design In JRPGs - a Good Post.
Game Design (Visual Novels)
Feniks Renpy Tutorials - They're good tutorials.
I played over 100 visual novels in one month and here’s my advice to devs. - General VN advice. Also highly recommend this whole blog for help on marketing your games.
I hope that was useful! If it was. Maybe. You'd like to buy me a coffee. Or maybe you could check out my comics and games. Or just my new critically acclaimed game In Stars and Time. If you want. Ok bye
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Give the old elk's lodge president the true meaning of the 33rd degree
32 he is, always and forever.... apparently
#his radio receiver already picked up on something#ilI know he enoys having something to conplain about but I always liked.... philosophically showing him his gripes are nothing#like a child I need to add#but yeah bringing back your grandfather in the fleah is pretty neat#it is a different flesh but aome things shine through#what a trip thatust have been for y-o-u telephone switch to mathematics & calculus....yes think about when you were studying that#lure me in with high math for a class I am ReTakINg#when it became obvious we were sharing the fantasy (how I didn't concern myself with....I had more important things to do)#it was just another thing on the list that makes me want to degrade your body#enter all holes it fits#many many many times ingam#atm...no it is no coincidence I am that crazy about fucking witches#maybe there are rich weirdos who do weird shit but nothing tops the top#mr officer I just nutted the first time out of dreams and this rubber is uncomfortable#him gotta look out for people back here on these streets they might cause havoc#me: the only thing back here with is is the pig#it was some savant level shit on my part I know#you know me though#I aimply don't find myself all that impressive#gotta stay humble and not get a big head#ra b bi 2 k#me: you couldn't have told me like in late 98 99#or even fall of '79#like you: it's cool i know you got One we are all gonna....mmm...someday#of course I would spend my life in a mini self made hell with that ;)#all the times over the years fucking pining for you#never knew why didn't ask#I knew#it was indeed 27 but it was also 21 18#what a trip this is all turning into
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ozzgin · 9 months ago
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Yandere! Werewolf Headcanons
I've been stalked by the guilty feeling that my Romanian Werewolf boy got a lot of backstory but not much romance or interaction. So there you have it: some headcanons featuring the ancient Beast, a post-kidnapping sequel.
Content: female reader, obsessive behavior, monster romance, mild NSFW at the end, ridiculously older yandere
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You followed the gargantuan stranger back into the city, leaving the bloodbath behind as if it was just a distant dream. Admittedly, you’d expected to be dragged into some mountainous cave or an abandoned mansion, not the cozy - albeit a little dusty - apartment on a main, historical street. On second thought, he did function as a human outside of his monstrous escapades, so it made sense. “Is this your place?”, you sheepishly asked while he wiped the thick layers of blood off him. “One of them, yes”, he answered curtly. “It’s central”, you remarked, trying to make conversation. “Well, I didn’t know about it back then. It’s been a few decades.”
Your ears perked up at the words. Gazing at his features, he didn’t seem necessarily aged to you. The deep creases contouring his face felt more like a sign that he’s lived sorrows beyond most people’s comprehension. “How old are you?” You finally asked as curiosity replaced your initial fear. He abruptly stopped his movements and leaned back, brows furrowed in deep contemplation. “I’m not so sure anymore. I was born in the 80s”, he concluded. “That’s not too far back, is it?” You inquired, this time more relaxed. “80 BC, I meant. You do the math.”
He freshened himself up as you counted the millennia on your fingers, frowning in confusion. He chuckled at your intense focus, then quickly looked up into the mirror. When was the last time he smiled like this? The reflection was a foreign sight to him. “We’ll get you everything you need tomorrow”, he continued, still in a daze. What a strange idea, having someone to speak to after an eternity. And suddenly, it occurred to him just how rusted his communication had gotten: “I’m so sorry, I haven’t asked for your name once”, he said, embarrassed. “It’s (Y/N). And you are...?" Might as well introduce yourself to your benevolent captor.
The dreaded question. How did they call him back in the day? He hasn't had anyone spell it out for him, nor did he feel the need at any point to say it himself. Why would he? He hadn't anticipated meeting you. With pursed lips, he searched his mind. Eventually, from the depths or memories, from days of yore, it made its way back: "Daos."
Given your first gory encounter (where he quite literally murdered everyone else), you were surprised to find out he's otherwise a calm and polite individual. Well, he's had centuries to mature, you suppose. You've also noticed he has that rather old-fashioned chivalry to him. He's very attentive despite his stoic demeanor, and often follows with acts of service.
"You're insulting me. I can carry this myself with ease", you'll argue. "I never doubted you can. Nonetheless, it is my wish to do it for you."
As the days pass, your reluctance seems to vanish as well. In fact, you've become particularly cheeky, encouraged by his warm, unperturbed behavior. Maybe you haven't gotten the worst deal out there, after all.
"You know, you talk like an old man", you've teased him once. He was visibly taken aback by your statement, and you could discern a faint blush on his face. "Do I? My apologies, I haven't spoken to anyone in a long time. I'm not familiar with modern speech. Have I embarrassed you somehow?"
He spends his free time reading, though he will frequently take you on walks. It's an interesting affair to say the least. You can feel the curious eyes of the passersby and hear their not-so-discreet whispered gossip. You can't truly blame them: Daos is enormous even as a human. He towers above everyone else with his imposing appearance. To match, his voice is deep and coarse as a result of not using it much until recently.
The ancient werewolf is a living history book. If asked, he will narrate to you important events or details you might be curious about regarding his culture. Once, when he'd been in a good mood, he even shared fragments of his life before turning into a creature. He'd been a high-ranked Dacian warrior, spending his days training or fighting. He still remembers the flag he carried with bitter fondness, yet another irony to his fate: a wolf-headed serpent. It was meant to showcase their way of life; barbarians with no fear of death. They'd greeted the Roman Empire with nothing but a sword and a shield, no shred of doubt.
He might've been betrayed by his people, but the pride remains. The pride of a soldier who's never known defeat. You learned quickly that his beastly form doesn't count as a significant change by any means, save for appearances. The man has brute strength even as a human. You'd once strayed from his view, and a stranger approached with a daring whistle, gawking you up and down. Before you could react, Daos clawed him by the throat. You heard the twist of the skin and the creak of the bones giving in to the immense pressure of his large hand.
"It's the second time I have exposed you to such unpleasant sights", he said, discarding the body as if it was any other garbage. "Forgive me, but I will not have you disrespected like this."
He is very much aware he's taken you away from the world out of his own selfish desire. The fact that you accepted it is more than he could ever ask for. That's what he keeps telling himself, even as his eyes wander to your lips whenever you speak. Or as his hand lingers a moment too long against the curve of your back. Or as he hungrily takes in your scent whenever you're nearby.
He might be unhealthily possessive of you, but Daos will never do anything against your will. No matter how obvious his urges are. In fact, no amount of flirting or teasing will shake his resolve. You will have to be very direct with your approval.
Once the reality settles in, he'll become extremely affectionate, bordering on obsessive. To think he could have you in every way possible. Oh, he's waited thousands of years for you. All the suffering, the loneliness, the anger, they're stripped of any meaning now that he has you.
The city strolls at an awkward distance have since become a habitual excuse to hold your hand and show you off to the mortals. The quiet evenings of passing time with a book now include your merely noticeable weight cuddled into his lap. You didn't expect him to be this adoring. Being touch-starved for millennia counts as one reason, naturally, but there's more to it, so much more. And it all leads back to you.
He is a little taken aback when you ask him to do the deed in his werewolf form. "Don't be foolish. I can't overcome my instincts as well when I'm a creature. I could harm you", he'll lecture you. "Besides, you can barely take it as it currently is", he'll add, smirking at your baffled expression. It seems he's picked up on your cheekiness.
After a lot of pleading and waiting for the right moment - when he's ravaging you in a daze - he finally agrees. True to his word, his tune instantly changes. The tender hold turns into a desperate grasp sinking into your skin, and the thrusts become irregular, almost frantic. His drool cools your burning cheeks as you hold onto the coarse fur, feverish and overwhelmed.
His golden eyes rest on the small human squirming underneath him, and suddenly, he can't help but notice: you have the perfect birthing hips.
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yanderenightmare · 11 months ago
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♡ TW: some nsfw
♡ fem reader
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Thinking about what a dumb party girl you are and the poor loser who's stuck tutoring you in all the classes you skip.
You were one of those people who believed everyone to be her friend. The type that went shopping a lot and hung at the mall more days than you bothered showing up to class – a bit of an airhead.
He’d call you a bimbo, but you’re not really known to sleep around – something about finding the right guy.
You opened the door with a smile, “Hi, welcome! Come in~” and pulled him inside by his arm. “I just got out of the shower, so I haven't really gotten dressed – hope you don’t mind!”
You’re in pink from head to toe – a bit excessively, like you’d gone shopping in the little girl’s section, only… you don’t have a little girl’s body… and that top and those shorts are a little too tight on your curves.
“Doesn’t really matter what you wear as long as you got your books.” He answers nonchalantly – as though he isn’t trying hard not to make out the outline of your cunt where it’s cupped so tight in unfairly thin cotton.
“Okay then~” You giggle, interlocking your fingers with his before turning around and leading him in.
His eyes go to the crease of your asscheeks as soon as you turn around, looking at where they peek out from under your bootie shorts – plump squeezable fat jiggling on every peppy step you took in your fluffy bunny slippers as you pull him into the private comfort of your room.
“My parents are out of town, but they left money for pizza – or whatever else you might want~”
You were all alone?
He doesn't know if he likes that or not. Blind trust. Don’t you realize how much bigger he is than you? Doesn’t it cross your mind at all how you’d have to call the police if he decided he didn’t want to leave at the end of the night?
“Pizza’s good.”
You smile, plopping down on your bed. “Okay then, mister Tutor~” Everything in your room is pink as well. “What do you have in store for me?”
You shouldn’t say stuff like that. Gives the wrong impression. You’re lucky he isn’t a bad guy.
“Where’s your books?”
You look a little puzzled for a moment – as though it was an unprompted question. “Right! Uhm…”
You kneel down in front of your bed and drag a dusty stack of textbooks from underneath.
“Here.”
He raises a brow at you.
“Have you ever even opened them?”
You giggle again. “I’ve written my name on the inside like a good girl~”
He struggles hard not to swallow the tightness in his throat – feeling a twitch in his pants at the sight of you sitting on the floor like that.
“Well, it’s a pretty name.”
You look a little disappointed – or maybe it’s just in his head.
In any case, you rise from the floor and sit down in one of the chairs by the desk, which he’d guess had never held any book other than a magazine.
He picks up the textbooks and sits down in the other chair. And it’s odd, staring at himself in the mirror in front of you – but he has to, to see if he looks suspicious – if he’s showing any tells of how badly he wants to touch you.
He opens up the book on the top of the stack, hopes he doesn’t smell like sweat – and you put your hand on the tent in his pants.
The book flaps close, and he jumps out of his chair – and you innocently peer up at him with your long lashes.
Then you say, “What?” as though his reaction surprised you. 
He stays silent – blinking once, then twice – mouth dry and out of words.
You slant your head to the side. “Don’t tell me you had your heart set on teaching me math.”
You have a look on your face that makes him feel like begging.
Standing up, you stalk him until the backs of his knees hit the bed, and he falls down on it with a heavy thud – still stunned and stupid, looking at you with wide eyes as you mount him – rubbing that cute tightly-hugged mound upon his bulging crotch – making him groan with cinched brows, watching your pretty manicured fingers as they fiddle with his belt buckle.
“You really want this?” He asks breathlessly, and you stop to eye him – eyes wondering over that cute look of shock riddled all over his face.
You gave him a small catlike smile, bit your lip, and batted your coy doe-eyes down at him – running your hands up his chest until you reached his throat. “I wouldn’t exactly invite a big boy like you over, much less into my bedroom, if I didn’t want it.”
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♡ BNHA – Bakugou, Shigaraki, Shinso ♡ JJK – Nanami, Geto, Gojo, Megumi, Yuuta, Choso ♡ HQ – Tsukishima, Kuro ♡ CSM – Aki ♡ DS – Tanjiro, Zenitsu ♡ HxH – Feitan, Leorio
♡ FEM x M INSERT masterlist ♡ GN x M INSERT masterlist
Full fic with smut available here:
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fastandcarlos · 26 days ago
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Halfway Round The World For You : ̗̀➛ Max Verstappen
summary: as the two of you find long distance harder, max comes up with a solution that might just solve your problem of being so far away
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A groan came from you as once again your call went unanswered, the beep of Max’s answerphone your usual greeting. You looked down at your watch again, sure that he would be awake as you quickly did the maths to figure out the current time difference between you both again. 
Whilst he was getting himself ready for the day, you were ready to see the end of it. As usual, there was one final thing that you needed to do before falling asleep, and that was to speak to Max and catch up. 
Mostly, he agreed to do it as it was his way of checking up on you. When you were so far away from him whilst he was racing, he worried about you. Were you resting? Eating? Not getting stressed at work? He never really knew the answer unless he called you and got to see for himself. 
As you were about to give up, your phone rang, making you jump. You glanced across, quickly picking up. “Hi love.” 
“Hi, I thought you were too busy for me today.” 
“Don’t be silly,” Max grinned, adjusting his phone so that you could see his face. 
Your smile turned up as you sat your phone down on your bedside table to free your hands up. As you glanced at Max though, his usual smile wasn’t there, replaced by a frown that had you worrying. 
“How’s everything going? Are you all ready for the race this weekend?” You quizzed, excited to see Max back behind the wheel for the start of the new season. 
His head nodded, with hardly any expression on his face. “The car is alright, but I’m not exactly confident.” 
His voice sounded dejected, the passion that Max usually spoke about work with had gone. He brushed his hand through his hair as he let go of a sigh which you just about managed to hear. 
“What’s going on Max?” You asked him, “and don’t say nothing, because I know you too well.” 
His heart sunk as his eyes met yours on the screen, noticing just how concerned you were. Although he was halfway around the world, you knew him like the back of your hand, picking up on all the signs that things weren’t right. 
“It’s ridiculous, isn’t it? I managed to spend most of the off season with you and I’m already missing you. I just know I’m probably not going to be able to spend any proper time with you again until summer break,” Max confessed. 
You smiled weakly as he spoke, “I’ll still come to most of your races Max, and when I can I’ll fly out to Monaco to see you, you know we always make it work.” 
“But I’m fed up of having to make it work, this isn’t how I want it to be forever, I’m so fed up of this long-distance thing.” 
You didn’t know what to say as Max’s eyes looked down from the phone, staring down at the ground. You could tell this was something that had been troubling Max for some time as he finally offloaded on you. You gave yourself a moment before responding, trying your best to figure out the right thing to say, not wanting to make Max feel any worse than he already did. 
“It’s not going to be like this forever.” 
Max wanted to believe you, but he just wasn’t sure. It had been two years of back and forth between you both, and it wasn’t getting any easier. If anything, Max found it harder, he wanted to spend more time with you, but he just couldn’t. 
“I wish you could be with me, permanently,” Max confessed. “It’s so strange how weird everything feels without you by my side. All the little things, like how we were constantly bumping into each other trying to move around your flat.” 
“I miss it too,” you assured, staring around your empty flat. “But you’ve got work, another world championship to win, and I don’t have the money to be able to fly out with you every weekend, or ever afford a place in Monaco.” 
Your words caught Max’s attention for a moment as he let go of a hum. You could tell by the way his eyes narrowed that Max was thinking about something, studying him closely as you tried to figure out what exactly was going through his head. 
Max knew that Monaco was an expensive place, and not somewhere that you wouldn’t be able to stay by himself, but that didn’t mean that it was somewhere that you could rule out, not completely anyway. 
“What about if we did something about that? What if Monaco wasn’t a place where you had to live all by yourself?” Max asked you, watching as you looked at him in confusion. 
“What are you trying to say Max?” You enquired. 
The way his smile turned up had you worrying, you knew that Max had plenty of crazy ideas, dreading to think what sort of master plan he had come up with this time. 
“I’m saying why don’t you move to Monaco, but come and stay with me. You spent most of the summer with me anyway, and work would allow you to stay there,” Max encouraged. “Even if I’m still racing, it means each time I’m home we can spend time together.” 
You went to speak, but your voice faltered, struggling to believe what you’d heard. “That’s a huge move,” you whispered, “Monaco isn’t exactly next door, it’s thousands of miles away.” 
“But it’s where I am love.” 
Your head nodded, you knew that Max had a point, but moving wasn’t an easy thing. There would be plenty of things that you’d have to leave behind, uncertain as to whether that was something that you could do. 
“It’s a huge thing Max.” 
“I know,” he frowned, worried that he had put his foot in it. “I’m not saying you need to make a decision now; I just thought it would be nice for us to be together properly. 
Max was beginning to regret his offer as he noticed the panic in your eyes. You didn’t know what you wanted, you loved your home, but you loved Max too. It was a huge sacrifice, and although you loved visiting Monaco, was it the place that you wanted to live forever? 
“You don’t need to agree, or disagree now,” Max insisted, “I’m not saying you’d have to move permanently either. But if you did move to Monaco, I’d help you every step of the way. Moving, sorting work out, finding things for you to do, I’d do whatever it took. The thought of having you there every morning though is like a dream.” 
Your hands ran through your hair, your heart racing as you overthought everything. Every possible situation, good and bad, suddenly seemed to rush through your mind as fast as a race car. 
“Can you just say something? Anything?” Max whimpered. 
Your eyes slowly flickered up to look at the screen again, your heart aching as you looked at Max, knowing that he was so far away from you. 
“I’d love to move to Monaco,” you told him, much to his relief. “It’s not going to be an easy move, but you’re right, we can’t carry on like this forever Max.” 
“Really? And you’re absolutely sure?” Max asked, wanting to double check. 
Your head nodded, sure in your heart that Monaco was the perfect place for you. “If it’s where you are, then it’s where I want to be too.” 
“You’ve got no idea how happy you���ve just made me,” Max chuckled, “I love you, I can’t wait to have you with me, to finally make my place a home for the both of us.” 
“I love you too, Max.” 
˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗
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tyunniez · 10 months ago
Text
converse high... bttm male reader
!!.. this has to be my worst work yet,, uhh rough sex, creampie, kinda vanilla ngl, not proofread idfk also bts ref borahae 💜
you jumped around in excitement to see one of your favorite group is finally going on tour! and they're coming to your city!
you immediately rushed to check the tickets, choosing the vip standing seat. " wait, how much money do I have left? " you stopped yourself before making a bad decision.
you looked at your bank account and almost passed out. you're broke as hell.
" why the hell am I so broke? " you questioned yourself, trying to find a genuine reason.
you scanned throughout your room till your eyes landed on your closet. " ah. that's why. "
multiple articles of clothing brimmed your closet causing it to overfill, making you slightly grimace at how your clothing rail was holding on for its dear life.
you recently went on another shopping haul after seeing your favorite idol adorning a new collection that was released by your favorite fashion brand.
you just had to get it.
yeah, maybe you had a bit of a spending problem..
your parents have spoiled you since birth because you're their one and only child. no, you weren't wealthy. you had to take on jobs multiple times, but hey hard work pays off!
you were currently on your break, and you intended to spend it going shopping till you went broke but unfortunately, due to you blowing your money to buy another vip standing ticket, that money mysteriously vanished.
" hmm.. is there any job I can do right now? " you rolled around in bed while scrolling through your phone, trying to find any quick gag you could do to earn some cash.
you ended up throwing your phone to the wall, groaning aloud when you could find none.
" i'm so lazy! not to mention my piles of assignments... " you sighed to yourself, opting to go downstairs instead to eat your sorrows away.
you were greeted by both of your parents downstairs, your mom already getting started on making lunch. " oh dear, what's wrong? you look stressed. "
you go to stand beside her, washing your hands in the process to help her cook. " I'm looking for a job to buy a ticket for a concert. my fav group is coming here you know! " you complained to your mom.
you grab the onion and began slicing it, shedding a few tears meanwhile. your mom thinks to herself, turning to you with an idea.
" you know our neighbor is actually looking for someone to babysit her kid. the pay is quite good since her kid is quite.. naughty. " you stared at the soup you were stirring and hummed.
" i can send you the details if you're interested, dear. " you nodded and decided to see how much would the pay be, who knows it might be enough.
a bonus is the kid has a total hottie as her brother!
you took one look at the pay and were sold immediately. you did the math and doing this for the amount of time needed will be more than enough.
i mean, babysitting can't be that hard, right?
⊹₊⋆
you sighed nervously as you finally approached the front door, your tote bag on your shoulder with everything you needed inside. you knocked on the door, anxiously waiting for the mom to greet you.
instead, you were greeted by someone else. " you the new babysitter? "
you stuttered, brain short-circuiting. instead of answering, you stared at the man in front of you.
the red-haired cocked his head to the side, waiting for you to answer with a raised brow. " hello? you there? " he asked in an annoyed tone.
" oh, oh yeah sorry. y-yeah, i'm the new babysitter. " you gripped the strap of your tote bag, trying your best to maintain eye contact with the man in front of you.
he hummed and opened the door wider for you to come in. you excused yourself and stepped into the house.
you walked up to ms. moore to greet her but before you could say anything she rushed towards you, her bag already in her hand.
" oh yn dear! i was just about to leave! thank god you're here. so there's money on the counter in case maya wants anything to eat. you can ask my son for any help. i'll be back before one so i hope you can withstand.. "
before you could ask any questions, she already rushed her way out towards the door. " jason, you better help the babysitter this time! thank you again and i'll see you when i get back, dear! "
with a slam of the door, she was gone.
you stood there, trying to process the information she just dumped on you. in your shocked state, jason gave you a pat on the shoulder. " she always does that. good luck dealing with that devil. ", was all he said before leaving you alone.
" maya, go easy on him! " he shouted upstairs.
you turned to the kid staring at you from the couch, a little concerned about what he just said. you've dealt with kids before, this will be easy.
⊹₊⋆
god, you regretted even thinking that.
there was a reason why babysitters kept dropping out like flies. this kid might as well come straight from hell!
you let out a long sigh as you crashed onto the sofa. you finally managed to put maya to sleep. though you couldn't really relax, still scared she might pull something with you thinking she was asleep.
" don't worry she's asleep. " you looked to the side to see jason slipping next to you on the couch, remote in his hand as he scrolled through various movies.
you let out another sigh, leaning your head back against the headrest and closing your eyes. you crossed your legs over one another, inspecting your slightly dirty converse high.
you peered over next to you, silently admiring jason.
you observed how his grown-out wolf cut, his red-haired that was now washed out is slightly messy, making it look like he just rolled out of bed.
your eyes were especially glued to his piercings. from his industrial to his snake bite, god he has so much.
you were more so drawn to his lips, that you could see his tongue-piercing. he purposely toyed with it, flicking his tongue out to tease you.
he licked his lips ever so slowly, his pink tongue grazing over his lower lip, not forgetting to graze over his snake bite. you gulped and looked away to try to get your mind on something else.
you didn't want to pop a boner in someone else's house!
" had enough already? " his sultry voice suddenly asked. you whipped your neck to look at him, eyes wide like a deer caught in a headlight, did he catch me staring..?
you cleared your throat and grabbed a nearby pillow to try to cover your growing hard-on.
" w-what're you talking about? " you glued your eyes towards the tv, trying to seem as unbothered as you can, thou the stuttering clearly gave it away..
jason rolled his eyes and discarded the pillow you were clinging onto, " oh come on, don't play dumb now. "
he pinned you down on the couch, caging you in leaving you no choice but to look at him.
" don't tell me you didn't notice at all.. "
you tried your best to look at him in the eyes, trying to figure out what he was talking about. well, he was really touchy.. his hands always found their way to touch you no matter.
he always knows just where and when to linger his touches to make you slightly flustered, the way he held your waist earlier still not leaving your eyes.
he also never took his eyes off of you ever since you stepped into his house. his eyes always trailing over to wherever you are, observing whatever the hell you are doing.
your cheeks got redder as you turned your head to the side, trying to hide from his gaze. " see i know you were a smart boy, now how far are you willing to go, bunny? "
you clasped your hand over your mouth, eyes rolling back to the back of your head. this is all too lewd!
you peeked down to look at him and the view below you was breathtaking.
jason's messy hair was now slicked back with his sweat, his big hands holding your legs open as his tongue worked its way on your dick. you could feel his tongue piercing along it, the added sensation making your thigh quiver.
you slowly released your hold on your own mouth, breath shaky. " jason, i-i'm close.. " your meal voice was shaky from the amount of pleasure you were experiencing.
he hummed and just continued to suck you, his hand now fondling your balls, massaging them as if to coax you to release.
you gripped the bedsheet below you, the warmth of his mouth mixed with the occasional cold feeling of his piercing was driving you over the edge. with a loud moan, you finally released in his mouth, eyes closing in bliss.
jason swallowed it all, making sure not to leave any drop behind. you didn't know whether to feel grossed out by it or not.
" ready to move on now bunny? " jason asked you while grabbing a bottle of lube, squirting a glob of it on his fingers. you silently nodded and watched as he squirted another glob on your hole.
" cold.. " you whined at him, feeling the chilliness of the lube. " don't worry, i'll warm you right up bunny. " he smiled.
he first inserted one finger into you slowly, letting you get used to the feeling. he began slowly moving it, occasionally grazing over that spot that made you see stars.
he then inserted another and another, steadily picking up his pace and getting more rougher as time went on. your eyes shoot back open as you kept your lips as tight as you could.
you were close and jason seemed to know this too.
before you could reach your climax, he swiftly pulled his fingers out. you looked up at him in confusion, dumbfounded as to why he stopped. " w-why'd you stopped? "
he took off his boxer, tossing it somewhere else. " don't tell me you were gonna cum just from that. the real fun begins now, bunny "
you watched as jason stroked his own dick, pouring lube on it. he was big. maybe too big for you. " are you sure it'll fit.. " you asked him while your eyes still trained on it.
" don't worry.. " he aligned himself with your hole, " i'll make it fit. "
with that, he shoved himself into you, the student action made you let out a loud moan. your eyes instantly teared up from the sudden stretch. you bit your lips to make sure no other noise escaped from you.
he was so big and you felt so.. full. his tip perfectly kissed your prostate, almost as if you were molded just for him.
" look at you taking it so well.. i knew i should've stuffed you full the moment i saw you. "
you stifled another incoming moan. your hands both covered your face, trying to hide your flushed face. two hands suddenly held onto your wrist, effectively prying your hands off of your face.
" don't hide this gorgeous face from me now. "
his own fingers intertwined with your own as he pounded into you roughly, going fast and aggressive from the start. a string of moans left your lips, your voice shaky due to how fast he was.
soon, one of his hands sneaked its way onto your thigh, hoisting it up. you almost screamed from how much deeper he was inside you. you didn't think it was even possible.
" jasonn, i'm near.. " you whined. your own dick bounced and twitched begging for release. " i'm close too, bunny.. cum with me, yeah? "
you nodded while jason held onto your ankles, his fingers digging into the fabric of your converse high. he somehow began speeding up, chasing his own climax.
you closed your mouth with your own hand, knowing damn well your moans were echoing throughout the house already.
with no warning whatsoever, you felt the warm liquid soon filling your inside, dropplings of it escaping from your hole. the feeling of being filled with jason's thick cock mixed with his own cum running down your ass caused you to also release.
you shut your eyes as your release painted your stomach white, some of it landing on jason's.
after a few moments of silence, he then let go of your ankles, slowly pulling out. you winced at the feeling of emptiness. you rolled to the side, jason also crawling next to you.
you soon almost lull yourself to sleep before remembering that tomorrow you have to babysit maya. oh god maya. you prayed she was sleeping like a baby and didn't hear anything.
" shit.. i honestly can't feel my legs and i still have to babysit maya tomorrow... " you groaned out loud next to him, trying to brainstorm an idea on how to babysit that devil in your current state.
jason only laughed next to you. talking about how he'll figure out a way to deal with her tomorrow. you hope he will since you can't miss the pay...
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writteninkat · 5 months ago
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What made you fall for these MHA men?
w/ Bakugou, Kirishima, Midoriya, Todoroki, Kaminari
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warnings: none, just some good ol' fluff
a/n: idk man i feel like most people(me) goes straight to the fucking stage and skips the adorable crush stage
navigation
KATSUKI BAKUGOU
this man is so fucking smart it turns you to goo
whenever you're having trouble with schoolworks/projects/assignments, you sit yourself next to him just to get the work done fast (and he smells and looks good so plus points ig)
find long math problems difficult? mans will take one look at it and immediately start scribbling. probably witchcraft, you don't know.
one moment you're complaining to mina about how your teacher can suck dick after giving you the assigment, the next katsuki has the answer in a box
chemistry problems? mans has the entire table memorized.
history? which one? japanese? american? french?
ah, he also butts in your conversations whenever you get the date wrong.
yeah he teaches you stuff you're having trouble understanding, but he will yell the entire time.
yeah, he teaches the topics worlds better than the teacher ever could but at the cost of your hearing
seeing his name listed along the top students with high marks has you inspired to do just as better as him
you tried confessing by giving him a love letter and he returned it to you with corrections TT (and a note that said: rewrite this and read it to me in person, then I'll take you out for some ramen)
EIJIRO KIRISHIMA
he's the sweetest ever, who wouldn't fall for him?
you're having terrible period cramps? this man will have a 'period aid box' filled with sweets, sanitary products, pain relievers, a heating pad, and more of your favorite things delivered to your door
it's pouring and you forgot your umbrella?
if he has an umbrella: will obv share it with you and doesn't care if half his body gets drenched, what matters is you're dry
no umbrella: takes off his uniform jacket/vest and drapes it over you. you'll end up damp but hey, he tried his best
whenever there's a new place, (restaurant, fair, amusement park, etc.) you're the first one he's asking to join him. and you always go. and he always pays.
hurt yourself? scraped a knee, got a bruise, muscle ache? he has a first aid pouch in his bag just for you
always walks you to class, always struggles with you when doing homework, always brings you your favorite food/drink
problem? he does all of this and will still call you a 'friend'. 'best friend' if you're lucky.
yeah, this adorable boy has no idea all the shit he does has you falling head over heels in love for him
IZUKU MIDORIYA
the way he's so passionate about what he loves, then catches himself being so open about it, then blushes, has you swooning
it was a normal day when you asked him about all might. you ended up listening to him for two hours ranting and sharing
you thought, 'how cute.' and then remembered you had piles of homework to do. and then he offered to help you with them while still talking about all might
he's also incredible passionate about being a hero
the way he talks about keeping the weak and needy safe has your heart clenching
whenever you get hurt during quirk training? he drops everything to take you to the nurse
feel insecure about yourself? he goes on a never ending tangent about how you're enough and how amazing you are
whenever you feel like you aren't gonna reach a goal, he's right there to pump you back up
whenever you tease him about being handsome or cute, he gets all flushed and shy, he makes you wanna just nibble on his cheeks!
problem here? he does that with everyone.
he's an inherintly good person, so you can't blame him for it, you can only blame yourself for thinking you were special to him.
or are you?
SHOTO TODOROKI
you're a yapper. you're running your mouth twenty four-seven. and twenty four hours every day, he listens. quietly.
at first you thought he was just ignoring you, but he brings up what you babbled about from time to time.
you talked about your mom being in the hospital. the next day, your mom's calling you to tell 'your classmate i said thank you for the fruits'.
mmhmm. he gave your mom fruits as a 'get well soon' gift.
shoto listens to every word you say, even when you don't realize you're saying them
"i heard the smoothie at that new diner was good." next day, there's a take out smoothie on your desk
"remind me to get pads tomorrow." your desk is filled with every single kind of sanitary product you could think of, from wings, non wings, long, dry, thick, thin, day, night.
"does anybody have an extra pen-" he places his pencil case on your table.
you don't even have to ask him and he's already working on getting you whatever you want. swoon.
another thing that made you fall? he'll let you do anything to him
class is boring and you wanna draw? he'll give you his hands
wanna practice some hairstyles? his hair is incredibly soft and tame for that.
how about make up looks? wanna practice that? he's sitting cross legged on the floor of your dorm as you brush on whatever color on his face
he's totally fine with letting you do whatever you want. and you wanna know the best part? he only lets you do it.
DENKI KAMINARI
this man cracks you up with no fail
the way denki's so easy to talk to and have fun with makes you feel so safe and secure
he's got every kind of humor in his chamber
dad jokes? "what did the blanket say as it fell off the bed? oh sheet!"
corny jokes? "how many lips does a flower have? tu-lips."
dark humor? "why can't orphans play baseball? cause they don't know where home is!"
yeah- the last one you two whisper to each other during class and get sent out of the room for laughing too loud
you don't remember a day where you spent with him and you weren't laughing. you just feel so light and happy, he's like a drug to you
this dynamic between the both of you confuses people. some look at the both of you and think you're a duo misfit who constantly gets called out during class, and some give you teasing looks
when you started to notice these feelings for him, you couldn't help but grin at the thought of marrying your best friend.
what made you really feel for him though?
when you were sick for a day, your classmates came back to the dorms begging you to fet better quickly cause apparently the room was depressing
even katsuki cursed you out for being sick
apparently denki's mood affected everybody. and that mood was-
"today was tiring without you there." denki sighs, staring at nothing while the heat of his body beside you comforts you completely. it's always like this with him- warm, peaceful, happy.
"awe, did you miss me you big baby?" you tease, poking his side.
denki turns his head towards you, eyes holding a million words he wants to say, but for some reason, can't.
"i did." his eyes trail down your nose and to your lips. "so much."
your lips part, heart about to beat out of your rib cage. your mouth feels dry and you can't help the desire to tell him everything you feel for him- but you can't. you don't wanna risk ruining your friendship.
"yellow," he calls. ever since you laughed at his joke for the first time, he's been calling you yellow. he says your laugh magically brightens the room, the sight of your smile lifting the heaviness on his shoulder. "smile for me?"
and you do.
and he does.
and you know you're extraordinarily, remarkably, so very fucked when it comes to this man.
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lunajay33 · 5 months ago
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Waiting🖤 Part.2
Summary: After decades of being alone without a love of his own he finally finds her in a gloomy town of forks, his brother Edward isn’t the only lucky one
Pairing: Emmett Cullen x f! Swan reader
Warning: angsty, fluffy sunshine Emmett
Part.1
•Masterlist•
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Friday came and I was a nervous wreck, I didn’t care to tell Bella or dad about this seeing as Bella has already distanced herself from me and I didn’t wanna get dads hopes up, sitting in math class, the last class of the day I kept glancing at the clock ticking closer and closer to the final bell, trying to distract myself I delved back into the worksheet infront of me, soon enough the bell rang and my heart jumped
Anxiously I threw everything into my bag and left the school straight to the parking lot, where Emmett was leaned against his silver jeep, when his eyes landed on me that bright smile stretch across his face making his amber eyes shine
“Hey gorgeous you ready for the best night of your life?” I could feel the heat rush to my face only making his smirk widen
“Not like that y/n, not yet anyways, come on hop in” he said as he held the door open for me, quickly getting in the drivers seat next to me
“Sooo um what’re we doing?”
“Thought we could go hiking, maybe get out of the cloud bank into some sunlight”
“I love hiking! Sounds like fun” finally relaxing knowing now it’s something I’m use to doing
He drove for a while out of forks to a near by hiking trail not commonly used by the public, we got out and started our journey
“So tell me a bit about yourself Angel” he said breaking the silence
“Well there’s not much to know, I’ve lived here my whole life, my sister and mom left when I was young so it’s just been me and my dad, I became homeschooled until now and I usually just read and do homework”
“Not a big social butterfly I assume?”
“Not really, what about you? Tell me everything!”
“Well I have 4 adopted siblings, Jasper, Alice, Rosalie and Edward, you’ll love Alice she’s the sweetest, I like getting out into the forest, love music and working out”
“Yeah I can tell” I smiled glancing at his bulging muscles under his long sleeve shirt
“Woah she’s got some fire in her after all” he laughed nudging my arm
“What can I say you bring it out of me” his hand grazed against mine until he went for it and intertwined his fingers through mine
“Why so nervous pretty girl? Do I fluster you?”
“Maybe, I’ve never really done stuff like this but it’s nice” I saw his features soften as he looked down at me and gently squeezed my hand
“Really? A beautiful thing like yourself, I’m surprised you don’t have boys on their knees begging for your attention”
“I think you have me mixed up with my sister” I laughed nervously
“And who might that be because I don’t even need to see her to know your beauty is beyond anything of this world”
“Emmett stop you’re just trying to make me blush, and my sister is Bella, Bella swan she’s new to the school” he stopped dead in his tracks with a shocked expression
“Bella is your sister, like your actual sister?”
“So you already know her, not a surprise”
“No it’s not that, my brother Edward has been after her since she came at the start of the week, kind of funny how two brothers can like two sisters, but I must say I got the more beautiful”
“You’re too sweet Em, I can’t believe she hasn’t said anything”
“Edward is a very awkward secretive guy I’m sure Bella is the same way maybe that’s why she hasn’t said anything”
“Can’t say you’re wrong”
He looked me up and down trying to judge something, curious
“Do you trust me?”
“I only just meet you but yeah, I do”
In an instant he flung me over his back so I was clung to him like a monkey
“Hold on tight sunshine” everything flew by in a blur, there was no shape to anything with the speed he was going, but however he was doing this it didn’t scare me or make me wonder what the hell was happening, I actually felt at peace
Soon enough he stopped as we cleared the cloud bank and the sun was beaming, he placed me gently back down on my feet and turned around, his skin was like a million tiny crystals, I was in awe by how much more beautiful he became
“Are you scared?” He asked as his face scrunch with worry
I raised my hand and traced down his cheek feeling his hard cold skin
“No quite the opposite, you’re beautiful Emmett”
“Don’t you wanna know what I am?” He asked placing his hands on my hips
“Whatever you are I’d never judge, I feel you’d never hurt me so I don’t care what you are”
“How did I get so lucky” he stated as he lifted me like I weighed a feather, wrapping my legs around his waist
“What do you mean?”
“Us vampires have mates and the moment you bumped into me in the hallways I knew you were mine, the one I’m meant to spend the rest of my life with”
“But why me, you could have anybody”
“You’re everything I’ll ever need, I wish you could see yourself the way I see you Angel, and I’ll spend the rest of eternity showing you how amazing you are”
My heart swelled with the most love I’ve ever felt and I’m lucky enough to finally find the one who will brighten my life
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Taglist: @whit0912 @serenadingtigers @twilightlover2007
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p0orbaby · 4 months ago
Text
As We Plunge into the Ocean
summary: snapshots of your pregnancy journey with leah by your side
warnings: pregnancy and its potential symptoms, duh !
a/n: thank you for the request !
word count: 1.8k
-
You have to hand it to Leah, she's really leaned into this whole pregnancy thing. Not that you’re surprised. She’s always been a bit of a control freak. Actually, no, she’s a lot of a control freak. But now, it’s like she’s running drills for motherhood, and you’re the center of her training program.
Month 2: The Overprotective Phase Begins
“You’re glowing,” she tells you one morning. It’s sweet until you deduce she’s actually staring at the sweat on your upper lip. You’re clammy, nauseous, and you smell like day-old toast, but sure, you’re glowing.
Leah’s taken to hovering. She’s always been protective, but now, it’s like you’re made of glass, or maybe like you’re the last good avocado in Waitrose—precious and prone to bruising. She watches you closely, eyes narrowed, as if you might spontaneously combust into a pile of hormones and ash at any moment.
“You’re going to be late for training,” you remind her, trying to shoo her out the door with your tea bag as if you’re some sort of British Gandalf.
She glances at her watch, sighs, and then gives you that look. The one that says, I’m going to worry about you while I’m gone, so don’t do anything stupid like trip over air or suddenly decide to juggle knives.
“Don’t lift anything heavy,” she warns, pulling on her jacket, but making no move toward the door. “Or stand on anything taller than a pancake”
Close enough.
“Okay, Mum,” you say, deadpan. You’re both amused and slightly exasperated because Leah’s version of protective involves a lot of hovering and unnecessary life advice.
She kisses you on the forehead before leaving, like she’s blessing you for the day ahead. Or maybe she thinks you’ll forget how to breathe without her around. Either way, it’s oddly comforting.
When she finally leaves, you flop on the sofa, determined to enjoy the fleeting freedom before she comes home and starts fluffing your pillows like you’re an elderly Victorian woman with consumption.
-
Month 4: The Hormone-Palooza
Leah walks in from training one afternoon to find you sitting on the kitchen floor, crying over an empty jar of pickled onions. To be fair, they were really good onions. You’d eaten the last one two hours ago, and now the world feels like a cruel, onion-less void.
“What happened?” Leah asks, dropping her kit bag and rushing over like there’s been a national emergency.
“The pickled onions,” you sob, pointing dramatically at the empty jar as if it’s committed some unspeakable crime.
She stares at the jar, then at you, and you can see the mental maths she’s doing to figure out if this is worth her calling 999. But then she just nods, like she’s made peace with your hormonal breakdowns.
“I’ll get more tomorrow,” she says, like she’s promising to fetch water from a well three villages over.
You look up at her, eyes wide and wet. “Really?”
She nods. “Really. And I’ll get the sliced red ones this time”
You sniff, feeling vaguely stupid but mostly just grateful. “You’re the best”
“I know,” she says, deadpan, and helps you off the floor like you’re a drunk at a party who just tried to wrestle your reflection in the mirror.
But Leah doesn’t make fun of you for your hormone-fueled tears. She’s too busy making sure you’re okay, which is annoying and endearing in equal measure.
-
Month 6: The Nesting Madness
You wake up one morning to the sound of power tools. In your half-asleep state, you briefly consider the possibility that Leah’s decided to open a B&Q in your living room.
When you manage to roll out of bed, because rolling is now the only way you can get up, you find Leah assembling a cot in the nursery. She’s wearing a headlamp like she’s about to go spelunking. Her tongue is sticking out in concentration, and there’s a distinct air of “I watched this on YouTube once, so I’m basically an expert” about her.
“Do you even know what you’re doing?” you ask, leaning against the doorway, trying not to laugh.
She pauses, mid-screw, and gives you a look. “I’m following the instructions,” she says defensively, even though the manual is open to a page that looks more like IKEA hieroglyphics than anything else.
You decide not to mention that the cot is currently upside down. Instead, you settle in to watch Leah’s one-woman DIY show. It’s honestly better than whatever’s on terrestrial right now.
After a good twenty minutes, she steps back, admiring her work. You both stare at the crib, which is somehow missing two legs but is otherwise a valiant effort.
“It’s... something,” you say diplomatically.
Leah sighs, rubbing her temples. “I’ll call my dad”
You nod. “Good idea. He’s got that handyman vibe”
She gives you a mock glare. “Don’t think I didn’t notice you didn’t help”
“I’m in charge of moral support,” you reply, patting your stomach. “And the baby’s supervising”
“Lazy,” she mutters, but there’s a smile tugging at her lips.
-
Month 8: The Belly and the Beast
By this point, your belly is so big that it has its own gravitational pull. Leah has taken to treating it like it’s a small planet she needs to orbit. You’re the sun, and she’s some overzealous moon that won’t give you any space.
“Do you need anything?” she asks for the fiftieth time that day, hovering like a helicopter parent who’s misplaced their child in a crowd.
“No,” you reply, staring at the TV, which you can barely see over your stomach.
“How about water? I could get you water. Or juice. Or something with electrolytes. Do you want electrolytes?” Leah’s pacing now, clearly itching to do something.
You eye her, bemused. “I’m fine, Leah”
“Are you sure? I could fluff your pillow, or I could—”
“Leah,” you interrupt, trying to keep a straight face, “the baby and I are okay. You don’t need to, like, feng shui the living room or whatever”
She stops pacing, looking slightly sheepish. “I’m just... I don’t know what to do with myself”
You reach out and grab her hand, pulling her to sit next to you. “You’re doing great,” you tell her, squeezing her hand. “Now, just relax. Let’s watch something. Maybe something without pregnant women, though. I can’t deal with seeing anyone else going through this”
Leah laughs, finally settling in next to you. “Deal”
Five minutes into the show, she’s already got a hand on your belly, her protective instincts kicking in even during a Netflix binge. You roll your eyes fondly but let her be. At least she’s not trying to rearrange the furniture again.
-
Month 9: The Home Stretch (Or, The Last Nerve)
Leah is a bundle of nerves, more wound up than a cat near a cucumber. It’s almost cute, except when she insists on triple-checking the hospital bag, which she’s already checked twice in the last hour.
“Leah, seriously, if you add one more onesie to that bag, it’s going to explode”
“I just want to make sure we have everything,” she mutters, rummaging through the bag as if it’s one of those cursed Hermione purses from Harry Potter.
“We have everything. And then some,” you assure her, eyeing the ludicrous pile of baby supplies that could probably last through an apocalypse.
She finally zips up the bag and sits down next to you. For a moment, there’s silence, and you think maybe, just maybe, she’s finally going to relax. But no. She starts tapping her foot, glancing at you every few seconds.
“Do you think—”
“No,” you cut her off, knowing exactly where this is going.
“But—”
“Leah,” you say firmly, “I love you, but if you ask me if I think the baby’s coming today one more time, I might actually lose it”
She opens her mouth, then closes it, looking like she’s physically restraining herself from speaking.
“I’m sorry,” she finally says, sighing. “I’m just... I’m excited and nervous and I feel like I’m waiting for a bomb to go off, but the bomb is cute and we’re going to love it and—”
“Leah,” you interrupt again, “you’re doing amazing. But you need to chill, or the baby’s going to think it’s coming out to meet a drill sergeant”
She cracks a smile at that. “Okay, okay, I’ll try to relax”
She doesn’t. But she does stop asking you if you’re in labor every fifteen minutes, so you’ll take that as a win.
-
The Grand Finale: The Delivery Room Circus
The day finally arrives. Naturally, it’s at three in the morning because why would your body ever do anything convenient? You wake Leah up by shaking her arm like you’re waking a teenager for school.
“Leah,” you say, trying to stay calm even though your insides feel like they’re being twisted into balloon animals. “It’s time”
She’s up in an instant, wide awake like she’s just heard the starting whistle at the World Cup final. She starts pacing, half-dressed, muttering about the hospital bag.
“We need to go, we need to—oh my god, where are the keys? Do we have the car seat? Should we call an ambulance? No, wait, we’re not calling an ambulance, that’s for emergencies, this is an emergency, but not that kind of emergency—”
You grab her shoulders, trying to steady her. “Leah, breathe. We’ve got time. But we do need to go”
She takes a deep breath, nodding like she’s trying to calm down a very excitable puppy. Then she’s off, running around the house like it’s an obstacle course, grabbing everything and nothing at once. You watch her in bemusement, one hand on your belly, wondering if you should tell her that she’s just thrown her shoe into the fridge.
When she finally gets it together, the drive to the hospital is an adventure in itself. Leah’s driving like she’s on her way to rob a bank, weaving through traffic and swearing under her breath at every red light.
“Leah, the baby’s not going to fall out if we don’t get there in ten minutes,” you say, trying to keep a straight face as she mutters something about the stupidly long red lights.
Finally, you make it to the hospital, where Leah practically drags you to the entrance like a deflated balloon on a string. Once inside, she’s all business, directing the nurses like she’s running a tactical operation.
The actual labour is a blur—hours of pain, and sweat, and Leah alternating between holding your hand and looking like she might faint. But she doesn’t faint. She stays with you the whole time, even when you scream at her that she’s never allowed to touch you again.
When the baby finally arrives, Leah’s expression is one of awe, relief, and sheer, overwhelming love. You’re both exhausted, but when you see her holding your baby, all of her earlier madness makes sense.
She was never just overprotective or anxious. She was just ready—ready to love, ready to care, and maybe, just maybe, ready to stop checking that bloody hospital bag.
Maybe.
Probably not.
But you love her anyway.
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eunimaybe · 1 month ago
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theorising : us in parallel worlds
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୨୧ ; you and jake sim are in completely different orbits! how did you defy the laws of physics and end up with him?
pairing! physicalsciencesmajor!jake x historymajor!reader | wc. 0.8k | warnings: possibly incorrect science and uni terms, attempted humour, probably cringe EN-
🖇️ : jake version is out now!! this was so cute to write and the reader is so me i can’t do maths and physics either ㅠㅠ need jake to tutor me frfr
so you see
you’ve never been maths and science smart
you’ve always been better at the humanities subjects and the languages, even from middle school
you are the history, geography and literature ACE.
well, jake’s the opposite
he devours maths equations and quantum physics papers for breakfast and proceeds to choke over basic history — more under cut!!
“when did the first world war end?”
“uh, i dunno. BUT did you know something can be a wave and a particle at once?”
jake was the kid that memorised the digits of pi FOR FUN.
he’s the guy who understood organic chemistry and quantum physics when he was nine
like you didn’t even have a consciousness when you were nine how tf was jake understanding quantum physics
of course jake’s a physical science and engineering major
you meet him at uni in your history department because he was waiting for his friend to come out of lecture
and DAMN he’s a lil cutie
you just watched him leaning on the hallway wall whilst you were sitting on that one random really comfortable sofa in the corner
you were NOT expecting him to suddenly stroll over to you
like why is that guy walking over to the sofa WHY IS HE LOOKING AT YOU
he's just here to ask you where the hell the lecture hall for the class that teaches history about people who died a lightyear before is
and you’re just like “oh, you mean ancient history? it’s right over there, room 204.”
he shoots you the most beautiful smile you've ever seen and says "thanks" before leaving
you're just kind of sitting there staring at his retreating figure
WHY IS HE SO SO CUTE????
it might not show but jake's also silently thinking about that
how did he not notice someone like you sooner?
like you're perfect it doesn't matter that the campus is huge and you two are different majors HOW HAS HE NEVER NOTICED YOU
you never even got to know that guy's name and you're scared that you won't ever see him again
you're just mentally kicking yourself for not asking for his name (and number)
you only manage to find him through intensive, if not obsessive internet research with your best friend
you learn that this cute guy's name is jake sim and that he's double majoring in physical sciences and engineering bc he's a lil crazy
how is his skin glowing with that kind of schedule
you always look for him in the university hallways YOU EVEN GO TO THE SCIENCES DEPARTMENT
but you never find him (it's because jake's poking his nose into every history lecture hall instead of being in his department trying to get a glimpse of you)
like he even goes to the philosophy lecture halls bc you sometimes go to them for fun
it’s giving zeno’s paradox omfg ITS GIVING PAULI EXCLUSION PRINCIPLE (except yall aren’t an electron)
but in one of your university's annual festivals you get to see him again!!
you were just in line to buy some lemonade with your friend when he lines up behind you
he recognises you straight away and gives you that smile that's been embedded in your memory for the past month and says a little hello
your friend just leaves because she's been getting daily updates about this guy named jake sim with pictures included
you're just left alone with him and you're so busy staring at him that you don't hear the lemonade stand cashier ask what you want to order
jake buys you a cup of lemonade SUCH A GENTLEMAN
you two have so much fun together at the festival
jake evens wins you a plushie with the darts at one of the stalls
"how're you so good at that? those games are designed to make you lose."
"you just need to understand the science behind it."
turns out jake is really easygoing which you didn't think was possible from an engineering major
you two make plans to meet up together and study at the science department library
tell me why the science library is so much better than the one you go to.
the sofas are so much more nap friendly and it just looks prettier yk
jake helps you with your maths and science studies
you thought you would be free of maths and science once you graduate from high school but turns out basic classes are in the core curriculum
it was a very big disappointment when you found out WDYM YOU STILL HAVE TO DO CALCULUS
you barely managed to do long divisions in primary, you can't do this shit anymore
it's okay, not only is jake really really smart, he's also really really patient
in return, you help jake boost his shitty core humanities grade
he's been barely scraping by
"y/n, i swear, i can memorise dates and all that stuff but i can't with the essays."
jake confesses to you during one of your little study sessions
he sends you a cute heart on the desmos graphing calculator (such a nerd omg)
you two are THE power couple
you get As in your maths and science now and the professor doesn't give you dirty looks anymore
jake managed to boost his grade as well DREAM COUPLE FRFR
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heeseung jay sunghoon sunoo jungwon ni-ki
✉️: @icyy-hoon
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humanpurposes · 1 year ago
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Mine All Mine
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Michael doesn't have a lot of friends, nor does he want them. Now he thinks he might have found his perfect match, and he has no intentions of letting her slip away
Main Masterlist
Michael Gavey x unnamed female character
Warnings: 18+, smut, Michael Gavey being a little shit (affectionately), possessive behaviour (yk the drill here)
Words: 7k
A/n: This ended up leaning into more of a cuter side, I definitely wanna do something creepier with him at some point! Also available to read on AO3.
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He gets to the room early, before the tutor has even arrived. It’s his first tutorial of the year and his first ever at Oxford. He stands straight with his head up and his hands unmoving, a picture of neutrality. He has his problem sheet in his satchel and runs through the questions in his head, not because he needs to, not because he doubts himself, but simply because he can.
He doesn’t even like maths all that much, but he’s always been good at it. He had considered doing something a little less straightforward, physics or economics, but then what would be the point in getting into Oxford to be anything less than perfect?
He knows his tutor’s name from his schedule, Stephen Breyer. He arrives only a few minutes later and they go inside. The tutorial room is small, with three of the four walls covered in bookshelves. In the centre of the room there is a table, an armchair on one side and a small sofa on the other. 
Michael takes the seat closest to the door. It puts him in a slightly more direct line of sight with Stephen. It also means his tutorial partner will inevitably have to climb over his legs to sit down and the thought amuses him.
“How are you finding it so far?” Stephen asks, unpacking a thermos flask and a notebook from his bag.
“It?” Michael repeats.
Stephen pauses and looks at him, slightly bewildered. “Well, the course, the college, Oxford. All of it.”
“Right,” Michael says. He takes his time taking out a pencil and his problem sheet before placing them on the table. He sits back against the sofa and rubs his lips together in thought. 
He supposes it’s been exactly as he had expected. Lectures have been fairly straightforward, Lincoln college looks the same as it had in the prospectus, and so far, most of the people seem insufferable. So many of them have no sense of urgency, no drive to truly succeed because to them, Oxford is a rite of passage rather than an earned privilege. He’s met maybe one person he’d consider worthy of his time, and even then, Oliver Quick is only a literature student. He might as well get a degree in overthinking.
Stephen is looking at him like he is still expecting an answer. Michael stares back. He’s never been one to bother with smalltalk. 
“Alright then,” Stephen says, then nods to the empty place on the sofa. “Do you know if–”
The door opens and a girl walks in, closing it gently behind her. “Sorry I’m late,” she says, eyes flickering around the room and settling on the space beside Michael. 
He’s seen her before, in lectures, in the dining hall, walking around the college with her little group of friends. He wouldn’t be surprised if they were all Cheltenham girls by the way they talk and dress in the stupid outfits rich girls wear to make themselves seem like normal people.
He watches her as she walks towards him, the awkward little smile she gives him before she steps over his legs. 
“Sorry,” she says again, falling onto the sofa. Michael almost winces at the sudden jolt of movement and the faint scent of a sweet perfume drifting from his left. “Had some trouble finding the room.”
“You’re right on time,” Stephen says, “we haven’t started yet.”
She’s better at the smalltalk than he is. She has a constant smile on her face and a bright look in her eyes, already having plenty of humorous anecdotes to share, despite the fact it’s only their second week. 
As they go through the questions on the sheet, comparing calculations and answers, Michael is horrified to find that he’s a little nervous. His throat feels dry and he can feel his heart pulsing in his chest. It’s her fault, he thinks. Everything about her is distracting, the sound of her voice, the satisfied little hum she makes when she realises she’s got another question right. Her black tights, the way her skirt rides up her thigh when she crosses her legs.
He wants to think she’s vapid, a pretty face dressed up in black boots and a denim jacket, but to his dismay, all of their answers are the same, down to every detail in their calculations.
That is until they reach the last question. It’s terribly complex and he had almost struggled with it. Almost.
He steals a quick glance at her sheet and notices their answers are different. Because she’s missed a step, he realises. He feels a smile creeping across his lips.
He proudly goes through his working out, delighted at the surprised look on her face as she goes over her own sheet.
“I got something different,” she says with a shrug.
Stephen invites her to talk through her answer. Her voice is quieter and softer than it was before, but not as defeated as he’d like.
“She has you beat there, Mr Gavey,” Stephen says.
It’s like being punched in the gut. “What?”
“Overextend yourself a little,” he explains, drawing a line through the last few calculations on his paper. “Make sure to read what the question asks of you.”
His blood is boiling and his fists are clenched. He doesn’t remember the last time he’s ever been wrong. A dangerous impulse in the back of his mind wants to scream his throat raw and tear his paper to pieces.
Then he feels a warmth settle over his knuckles. She’s placed her hand over his.
“It’s a compliment, really,” she says to him.
He looks up at her, only more infuriated by the gentle expression on her face. But he knows better than to let anger get the better of him. It will only leave him feeling ashamed. So he forces a smile and nods. “Thank you.”
She smiles too, sweet and reassuring. 
He can’t bear the humiliation. Once they’re dismissed he packs up quickly, practically storming out of the room before she even has a chance to stand up. 
He spends the rest of the day in his dorm, looking over the same problem and pulling at his hair, because now his mistake seems glaringly obvious. How could he be so useless? So careless as to not even read the fucking question properly?
His room is on the second floor, overlooking the quad. There are always people around, walking between classes, sitting on the grass, their voices and the smell of cigarette smoke rising and drifting in through his window. He hates it. He hates the noise, the distraction.
But as he goes to close the open window he spots her. It’s only for a moment. She’s walking towards the library with her hands in the pocket of her jacket and her backpack slung over one shoulder. She’s not with any of her preppy friends, in fact she looks rather solemn. 
He feels a slight twinge of guilt in his gut. Perhaps he had been a little unfair to her in their tutorial.
He keeps noticing her, especially at meal times and during lectures. Whenever he enters a room he finds himself searching for her, and if he cannot find her, he waits for her to appear. He plays guessing games with himself, waiting to see what outfit she’ll wear, the pretty mini skirt or a pair of faded blue baggy jeans. If she’ll be with her friends or if she’ll be alone.
He never approaches her. He waits for her to look at him, and once they’ve made eye contact she’ll smile at him.
He likes watching her, and comes to the conclusion that she is charming and polite, but not overbearing, and that’s what's so intriguing about her. She knows how to talk to people, even the most insufferable of their peers, but she’s not nearly entitled enough to truly be one of them.
It’s a Friday evening the next time they actually speak. The library tends to be quieter at this time and he has a textbook to look over before his next lecture. Only, when he goes to find the book, he discovers the last copy has been checked out a matter of minutes ago. Fucking typical.
He goes to stalk out of the library, debating whether or not he can be bothered to ask Oliver if he wants to grab a drink in The King’s Arms, when he sees her.
She’s alone, with her chin in her palm, writing in a notebook as she looks at the textbook open in front of her. He’s willing to bet that’s exactly the book he needs.
He approaches her slowly, waiting for her to look up and notice him, but she seems utterly absorbed in what she’s doing. Only when he puts a hand on the back of her chair and leans over her shoulder does she react to him.
He sees her jump when he gets too close. “Jesus Christ!” she hisses, clutching her hand over her chest.
“Sorry,” he mutters, still hovering over her. “Did I frighten you?”
She hums a laugh but composes herself quite quickly. She turns her head to look at him. “I’m guessing you want the book?” she says, her breath fluttering over his cheek.
He straightens his back so he can look down at her. “Will you have it for long? Only I think I’ll get through the reading quite quickly.”
“Oh yes of course, you’re a genius, right?” she says with a grin.
Irritation scratches under the surface of his skin, hot and restless. That’s how he usually introduces himself, but it’s the truth. 
“We could just share,” she says, gesturing to the empty seat beside her, “that is, unless you don’t think I’ll be able to keep up.”
There’s something exciting about the way she holds his gaze, the hint of a smile on her lips.
She offers to go back a page so he can catch up and admittedly, he skims through, only writing down a few notes before he tells her to move on. He can find the book again if he really needs to.
He has to lean over his left arm rather significantly to read the book properly. She notices this, and pushing it closer to him, shuffling her chair over to follow. They’re close enough that he can smell her perfume again.
“None of your little friends around then?” he asks quietly, so as not to disturb the other students.
“What?”
“That group of girls,” he says, “I’ve seen you sitting with them in the dining hall.”
She brings her chin back to her palm but doesn’t look up from her notes. “They live on my floor. I don’t need to spend every waking moment with them.”
“Touchy subject?” he asks, perhaps a little too hopefully.
His heart leaps in triumph when she looks up at him. “No. I’m just not sure I’d count them as friends, necessarily.”
“Why not?” he asks.
“Not my kind of people,” she says.
“Why not?”
She frowns briefly. He thinks she might scold him for being so direct, for asking so many questions, for being too intrusive. But she doesn’t.
The textbook is forgotten. She tells him about the village where she grew up, a sad little place by the sounds of it. She spent most of her schooling surrounded by the same twenty or so kids.
“For a long time, I knew there was something people didn’t like about me,” she says. “I didn’t understand why. I was never rude or cruel, I just kept my head down and did my work. The other girls told me I was a freak, the boys used to tease me, pull my hair, tear pages out of my books. Mum said people hated me because I was clever. Dad said I should stop complaining. So I did.” 
He can’t help but draw a comparison to himself. He can feel it when he meets someone new, the inherent distrust, the sense that there is something inherently unlikeable about him. In a way he likes that people are unnerved by him because at least it’s something he can control. He has never been one for friends or common ground, a consequence of being the smartest person in every room.
He watches her intently as she tells him about a private school a few miles outside of her village, a proper posh place, Victorian buildings and sprawling estates. For her, it was her one chance of escape, and while her parents worked hard to make ends meet, the only way she was going to get in was with a scholarship. So she worked for it, got all A*s in her GCSEs, started at the posh school, and from there, set her sights on Oxford.
“You’re rather deceptive,” he says.
She smiles at him. “It’s not like I lied. Were you expecting a daddy’s money brat?”
“There’s enough of them about,” he says.
She huffs a laugh and rolls her eyes. “Fucking tell me about it.”
They start to make a habit of studying together, at first it’s by coincidence, and then she gives him her number so they can organise themselves more effectively. They meet at the library every Friday to share a textbook or go over problem sheets, in preparation for their lectures. They even start to meet before their tutorials together, to compare answers and make sure neither of them are left out. Sometimes they go for coffee after their classes, and branch off to chat about things that aren’t maths.
He tells her about the grammar school he went to, that most of the boys there were rugby playing morons. He tells her about his family, his mum, his dad, the family cat that’s been around longer than he has. He tells her about his summer, running numbers for his uncle’s accountancy firm.
She tells him about the posh school, that starting at a boarding school was like being thrown into a different universe. Sure, she had been the odd one out and got the odd “povo” comment, but it was the first place where she had felt like she didn’t have to be ashamed of her own intelligence. She learnt how to fit in, to the point where he can’t tell if she actually likes her preppy friends or if she just puts up with them for the sake of it.
He starts to wonder if he could consider her a friend. He likes that she’s smart and sharp, the slight air of competition when they compare notes or go through a problem together. He likes challenging her, making her second guess herself, watching the way she squirms and tries to hide that she’s flustered. Just once, he thinks it would be fun to one-up her, but of course, she never slips up, and she never makes a mistake.
On Halloween she mentions a party at Magdalene College being hosted by one of her old school friends. Of course he’s sceptical. Hanging around a bunch of stuck up posh kids, who no doubt will all be in slutty costumes and getting off on each other’s egos, isn’t exactly his idea of fun. Although, part of him is intrigued to see her in a different setting.
So he agrees to meet her outside her dorm at 10pm exactly. He doesn’t bother with fancy dress, opting for jeans and a black jumper so that he can just fade into the background. 
She appears with some of her preppy friends. They’re all in pastel dresses of differing colours, matching wings strung on their backs, glitter on their cheeks, a little pack of fairies. She’s in white mini dress that floats around her thighs as she moves, more like an angel.
She introduces him enthusiastically to the girls, already giddy from their pre-drinks, pink gin and rosé. None of them seem that interested by his presence and he grunts in response. 
She links her arm through his as they walk over the cobbles, through the maze of ancient buildings to the dorm where the party is being held. She talks about everything and nothing. She tells him who’s going to be there, who’s been uninvited but might show up just to stir shit, how many girls are going to be there and that they’re all going to be trying to get into Felix Catton’s Calvin Kleins.
“Are you going to get with anyone?” she asks.
He makes a sound of disgust.
“Come on, Michael, live a little!” 
He shakes his head. “I don’t think– I don’t know–”
She puts her hands on his shoulders and turns him to face her. “Have you kissed anyone before?”
He swallows thickly. It’s not something he’s ever been ashamed of before, now it feels like a weight crushing down on his chest. “No,” he says, simply, determined to remain indifferent.
“Get with someone tonight!” she says excitedly, “just for the fun of it, we’ll find you someone good.”
He hates the idea, but he doesn’t have the heart to tell her. Perhaps it seems like fun to her, but to him it seems like an impossibility, and he thinks he’d rather have the consistency of being unwanted.
The party itself is loud and sparsely lit by neon lights. He starts off on bottles of beer to ease himself into it, but seeing everyone else is doing pills and white lines, he thinks he might need something stronger to get through the night, especially when she keeps getting distracted. The angel is quite the social butterfly and insists on saying hello to everyone, even the people she’s never met. 
He finds himself in a common room and reaches for a bottle of whisky and a cup when he spots her. She’s leaning against a wall, wings discarded on the floor beside her. A tall boy, wearing nothing but jeans, a pair of feathery costume wings and a horrible Carpe Diem tattoo on his forearm, has his hands on her waist. She’s smiling and giggling into his neck every time he goes in to kiss her. Of all the girls Felix could go after.
His skin feels tight. He fears if he keeps having to watch this little display he’ll retch his guts up, and yet he’s utterly hypnotised by it, the way she had her arms around his shoulders, the way her fingertips trace the base of his neck. And fuck, he’s never seen her look so beautiful.
He ends up downing the rest of the whisky straight from the bottle and most of the night becomes a blur after that. At some point he thinks he starts trying to talk to one of her pastel fairy friends. He doesn’t catch her name, and he wouldn’t care to remember it anyway. She plays with his glasses, tries them on and giggles hysterically. He thinks she must be completely off her face, considering the look of utter disgust she had given him at the start of the night.
Somewhere in the noise of the party she throws her arms around his neck and they sway clumsily to the overwhelming bass of the music. He thinks he feels her lips graze his cheek, his jaw, his neck, but where he can help it, he keeps his eyes on his angel. Felix has one of her legs around his waist and his hands halfway up her skirt. 
Fuck this.
He pushes the nameless girl off him and storms over to put an end to the scene before him. He grips Felix by his shoulders to pull him off her, grabs her by the arm and drags her out of the dorm. He doesn’t look back to see if Felix protests, he’ll probably find some other throat to stick his tongue down. 
She tries to shout over the music. “Where are we–”
“I’m tired,” he snaps, bringing his face in close to hers. He gets closer than he means to, pressing his nose and his forehead against hers. He’s breathing fiercely, he realises, desperate to contain the full extent of his anger, his jealousy. “I want to leave.”
She stares back at him with parted lips, and nods.
He feels better the moment they’re outside, away from the disorientation of the party. He takes deep breaths of the night air, cold and sharp in his lungs. He snatches off his glasses, runs his hands over his face and his hair to find himself drenched in sweat.
His angel tucks herself in against him, under his arm, huddling her arms around herself and shivering.
“Do you want my jumper?” he says. His voice and the words on his tongue feel strange. His limbs feel weightless as he pulls it off and helps her into it. 
“Hmm, thank you,” she says dreamily, clinging onto his arm as they stumble back to Lincoln College. He burns where she touches him, her fingertips digging into his skin. He loves it, and hates that her hands were on someone else before him.
“You were getting rather cozy with Miranda,” she says.
“Who?”
“Lilac fairy costume,” she says, playfully hitting his arm. “Did you kiss her?”
His heart sinks. He presses his lips together but she doesn’t seem to pick up on his annoyance. “No,” he says with a tight jaw.
“Oh no,” she says, looking up at him with a comically sad pout. 
“It’s not important,” he says.
“It’s your first kiss! Or should have been your first kiss. It’s important. Did you at least have a good time before you got tired?”
“No,” he says, “your friends are all imbeciles.”
They walk the rest of the way back to her dorm in silence. He makes sure she has her keys, holds her face between his hands and tells her to drink a whole glass of water before she falls asleep. 
She leans into his touch with a sleepy smile. “Yes, yes, I will,” she whines.
The sound stirs a wanting in his stomach. Suddenly his heart is beating faster than it ever has before.
“And call me if you need anything–”
“Would you want to kiss me?” she asks.
His eyes flicker down to her lips. His hands are still cupping her cheeks. “What?”
Her eyes are wide and alert. “I just mean, I could be your first kiss, if you wanted to.” She places her hands on his wrists, tracing her fingertips over his skin, along his forearms. It’s such a simple touch, and yet he can feel it driving him slowly insane. 
He imagines her hands running over the rest of his body, down his chest, his stomach, teasing over the growing hardness in his jeans.
“You’re drunk,” he whispers, terrified of how desperate his voice might sound.
She rises onto her toes, inching her face closer to his, drawing her nose over his cheek. “So?” she says, lips brushing over his skin, “I promise it’ll feel good.”
Their lips find each other in a simple movement. It’s easier than he thought it would be, following the movements of her mouth, letting his hands fall from her face and rest on her waist. He can feel her breathing, the little hums she makes as she kisses him and runs her hands through his hair.
He decides, in that moment, that she is perfect. She is bright and beautiful, passionate and kind, soft and sharp, everything he wants for himself, the only person he has ever felt a need for. That need burns through his bloodstream, goes straight to his head and makes his mind hazy. It tightens in his gut and only makes that wanting feeling in his chest feel emptier. His heart races, his trembling hands graze over the thin, silky material of her dress.
His glasses come askew. He feels her smile against his lips and it feels good. Really fucking good.
His hands clench into a firmer grip on her waist. He needs to keep her close, to touch her, feel her, know she wants this as much as he does.
Only she’s slipping away.
Her hands come away from his neck and the cold night air stings his skin in her absence. She pulls her head away, not abruptly, but that’s the pain of it. He leans forward to chase her lips but he has no choice but to let her go in the end.
She looks up at him with a vague smile. “See? It’s nice, isn’t it?”
Nice in the moment. Pure torture that he’ll have to spend the rest of the night clinging onto the memory, only able to imagine how good it felt.
After that night he cannot escape the thought of her, when he’s in his lectures, when he’s in the library, when he’s walking between classes, when he’s in the dining hall. If he’s with her he cannot help but notice every little detail about her, her clothes, her hands, the colour of her nail polish, every micro expression, every word, every laugh, every sigh.
And when he’s alone, he can’t help but picture her in that white dress, the sound of her voice, the feel of her lips. He can’t help but imagine what it would be like to run his hands over every inch of her skin and make her a breathless, whining mess. When he’s in his dorm, it’s inevitable that his hand will end up dipping into his boxers, stroking himself until he spills over his knuckles with a grunt or a whisper of her name.
He’s never known himself to be so distracted.
Worst of all is the rage that comes with the wanting. He hates walking into the lecture hall to see her chatting to someone else, seeing her with her preppy friends around the college or drinking with that old school friend in the King’s Arms. None of them deserve her. None of them. Does she even realise it? How long before she loses herself, before she decides she doesn’t need him?
He knows he’s not a sentimental person. He doesn’t have a lot of friends nor does he want them. People have come in and out of his life, but this girl is different. He feels a draw to her, a hunger that he can’t satiate with his own imagination. She is everything he wants for himself, and he has no intentions of letting her slip away.
As Michaelmas terms comes to an end, the colleges and libraries are covered with garlands and wreaths. Despite the lingering worry in the back of his mind, Michael is rather happy with his collection of outcasts, though poor Oliver Quick seems rather unhappy at being a designated Norman-No Mates. 
He finds it easier to get her attention as the term and the workload progresses. They’ve had tutorials and summative assignments, and she’s finally starting to struggle. 
And then there was the incident about the scholarship. One of the preppy friends let slip that she wasn’t paying for her tuition fees or her accommodation, likely done out of jealousy after she’d gotten close to Felix at the Halloween party. He was there for her with a perfectly good shoulder to cry on when half the girls in her dorm started teasing her for it.
He tells her that she doesn’t have time to get distracted with parties or friends who won’t help her succeed. 
He’s sitting at a table in the library, ready for one of their Friday evening study dates. She’s late but soon hurries in, pulling off the thick red scarf she has wrapped around her neck and shrugging off her denim jacket.
He has the textbook open at the right page and places a Crunchie in front of her when she sits down.
“Did you know there was a college Christmas party tonight?” Michael asks as she takes down her notes. “We’re NFI, apparently. Not fucking invited.” He’d checked his pigeonhole, and Oliver’s for good measure. 
In the corner of his eye, he sees her look up from her notebook. 
“As if we’d actually want to hang out with those vapid cunts,” he says, laughing to himself. He turns his head to check if she’s laughing too.
She doesn’t look very amused. “Actually, I was going to ask if you wanted to come with me,” she says.
He pauses, hovering his pencil over his worksheet. “You got an invitation?” he says quietly.
“Yeah,” she says, “I was chatting with some of the literature guys the other day, you know Farleigh Start–”
“What the fuck were you talking to him for?” He asks in a voice like ice.
She stares at him with wide, almost accusing eyes. “What, am I not allowed to talk to anyone besides you?”
“They’re not worth your time so stop acting like a fucking bootlicker” he hisses. “They’re all self-obsessed and cruel, and I don’t know why you’re so desperate for their approval.”
“Desperate,” she echoes.
The silence of the library is screaming at him. He has an awful feeling in his stomach, like he’s done something wrong, like he’s pushed a little too far.
It’s Halloween all over again. He can feel her slipping away, and he can’t reach out for her, can’t hold onto her and make her stay where he wants her. He curls his fists as he feels his body start to tremble.
“I guess I won’t waste any more of your precious time then,” she says sharply as she starts to pack up her things.
“No,” Michael utters. He reaches his hand up as if to stop her but she stands up, out of his reach. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
She throws on her jacket, wraps her scarf around her neck and turns around, glaring down at him with sad, glassy eyes. “I need to get ready,” she says. “Enjoy the rest of your night.” Then she sweeps out of the hall with a cold rush of air and a slam of the doors.
Michael groans and lets his head fall into his hands. How had he managed to fuck up that badly? 
He can’t think about the problems on the sheet in front of him, or think about the reading from the textbook. All he can picture is her in some skimpy dress, letting some sick trust fund baby put his hands all over her. It makes him want to tear his hair out. 
He stays there until the evening has turned to night, until any other stragglers have left the library, to attend this stupid Christmas party or to make their own fun.
He can’t understand why she keeps trying to befriend the people who would abandon her the moment they got bored of her, the very same people who shamed her for her scholarship. 
He’d never leave her, never let her feel anything less than worshipped.
When he finally packs up his bag he finds himself walking to her dorm. A few girls are leaving as he arrives at the building and he easily slips in while they’re busy chatting. He knows which floor she’s on, and then all he has to do is find her name on one of the doors… and there it is, under the number 205. Perfect.
He glances up and down the hall. It’s deathly quiet. He wonders how many students have already cleared out of their rooms, how many will be at this party, at the pub with their friends.
He can hear music on the other side of the door, a voice singing softly to a song he doesn’t know.
He brings his knuckles up and taps four times against the wood.
She seems happy when she opens the door, but her face falls when she realises it’s him.
He buries his hands in his pockets, keeps his chin down as he looks up at her. “I need to talk to you,” he says.
She sighs and purses her lips, but steps aside enough for him to come into her room. 
It’s not as neat as he imagined, but it’s cosy. There are photos and posters all over the walls, clothes strewn everywhere, an opened makeup bag on the floor by the mirror, pieces of paper and used mugs on the desk. His eyes are drawn to her bed, to the colourful comforter tossed carelessly over the duvet and the pile of mismatched pillows. It smells like her perfume, and something else that is distinctly her.
A red dress hangs on the front of her wardrobe, her outfit for the party, he guesses. For now she’s dressed in her favourite pair of baggy jeans and a tank top, her hair slightly damp and her skin dewy.
She sits on the edge of her bed with her legs crossed. She doesn’t prompt him, but he knows what she wants to hear.
He stands in front of her, his knees almost touching the bed. He tries not to look at the cut of her tank top, the way it clings to her torso and teases the swell of her breasts.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbles. “You were right, I was being unfair.”
She looks up at him, furrowing her brows and catching her lip between her teeth, like she always does when she’s thinking. It makes his stomach drop. 
“You can be cruel too, you know that?” she says, “and so full of yourself, but you hold it against everyone else you meet.”
“But I’d never lie to you,” he says, “and I’ve never pretended to be someone I’m not.”
She keeps frowning. “Neither have I.”
He hums a laugh. He can’t help but reach for her, taking her chin between his fingers. She doesn’t flinch away, doesn’t question it when he gently strokes his index finger over her cheek. “Silly girl,” he says, “you care too much about what people think of you. You’re smarter than that, but you’re happy to hide it.”
Her breath hitches as tilts her head further back and lets his thumb drag over her lower lip.
“Michael,” she utters, pressing her palms against his chest, but not enough to push him away. Her hands grip at the collar of his jumper and she nudges her nose against his.
He doesn’t know where the sudden recklessness comes from. Perhaps it’s in the way she said his name, the way her eyes are gazing up at him, but every part of him feels hollow. 
He leans in closer. “Why bother? Why do you want to dumb yourself down when I could just fuck you stupid?” 
She leans in to kiss him and he indulges her, letting his hand settle against her cheek as they clash together in a mess of lips and tongues. It’s more frantic than the night of the Halloween party, wetter, clumsier.
She comes up onto her knees, snaking one of her hands down to the hem of his jumper.
“Have you fucked a girl before, Gavey?” she says between their kisses. He can feel her smiling.
“No,” he says, practically tearing his jumper and his shirt off, “but I’ve thought about it a lot.”
“Anyone in particular?” she says, palming over the bulge in his jeans.
“Who do you fucking think?”
His hands are on the buttons of her jeans, ripping them open, dragging them down her legs before she’s on her knees again. He slips his hand between her legs, against her clothed centre and she ruts against him like a bitch in heat.
With his other hand he grabs at her waist, impatiently pulling her tank top over her head to reveal a lacy black bra underneath. He can’t stop himself, planting firm, desperate kisses over the flesh of her chest as he undoes the clasp.
He tosses her bra aside and takes one of her nipples in his mouth, sucking and circling his tongue over the sensitive bud. He loves how she whines for him, how she runs her fingers through his hair and pulls when it feels good.
And then her phone rings.
She sighs in frustration before she shoves Michael away and crawls over to the table by her bed. 
Michael groans at the loss, wanting nothing more than to grab her and pull her back across the bed. “Who is it?” he asks, adjusting his glasses.
“Could be Farleigh, or one of the girls, I said I’d meet them before the party–”
That’s all he needs to hear. In an instant he’s on top of her, pinning her wrist to the mattress so she can’t reach her phone, legs on either side of her body as he presses her down.
She writhes underneath him, unintentionally grinding her rear into his crotch. She tries to turn her head over her shoulder, but it’s hard when she’s caged in underneath him. “Michael! What the fuck are you–”
“When are you going to get it into that pretty little head that you don’t need them?” he says, letting his lips brush against the shell of her ear. He feels her shudder, feels her heartbeat racing against his chest.
“I know I don’t need them,” she says.
“Hmm,” he says, leaning back to undo his jeans enough to free his hard and eager cock. I’m not convinced.”
He takes his time pulling her panties down her legs, kneads at her thighs and her ass, pulls her hips up and parts her legs so he can get a look at her slick, glistening cunt. He’s almost fascinated by it, drawing his thumb through her folds, noticing how she reacts to his touch, the sounds she makes, the way she fists the bedsheets when he gets close to her clit, but just enough to keep her on edge.
“I could be so good to you,” he says, leaning down to press a kiss to her shoulder, “so fucking good, so why do you act like you don’t need me?”
“I do,” she breathes, interrupting herself with a light moan when he presses firmly against her clit. “I do need you.”
“There you go, you’re starting to get it,” he coos, circling over her most sensitive spot with the pads of his fingers. He may not have the practice but he has the knowledge, and he needs this to feel good for her.
She responds beautifully, sighing and rocking her hips against him, and she just melts when he presses the tip of his cock against her entrance.
He has to push harder than he expects, pausing when she gives a little yelp of what sounds like pain, but she assures him she’s fine.
He grabs her hip for leverage, hissing through his teeth as he pushes in deeper. She’s so tight, so wet, so warm.
“You can move,” she says, letting her head fall against her arm. “Please, I need it.”
He starts slowly, focuses on the drag of his cock through her, the way she stretches around him, but he can’t hold back for long. Once he finds a rhythm he gets a little more reckless, snapping his hips against her rear, keeping his harsh grasp on her flesh as he fucks her into the mattress.
Her moans are heavenly and obscene. She’s given up struggling but she’s trying to look at him, trying to touch him but she can’t. She calls his name and it sounds so pathetic but so endearing.
He chuckles lowly to himself. “Silly little slut, didn’t know what she was missing, did she?”
“No,” she whines. He can feel her clenching around him and he doesn’t know how much longer he’ll be able to last. “Fuck, Michael, it feels so good…”
He pulls out of her, only to turn her back and slam back in. Suddenly she’s all over him, running her hands down his torso, wrapping her arms around his neck. She has her face buried into the crook of his neck, grazing her lips, tongue and teeth over his skin. 
It feels good to have her close, but he’s still not entirely satisfied. 
He pulls away to hold her down again, one hand on her throat, the other on her stomach. “Mine.” he huffs as he picks up the pace of his thrusts. “All mine. Fucking say it.”
She places her hands over his, urging him to hold her tighter, press harder. “Yours,” she utters, “all yours.”
“Good fucking girl,” he groans, and feels her respond to his voice, cunt fluttering, back arching, another whine sounding in her throat— maybe she likes that. “My clever little girl.”
He feels her come undone around him, back arching as he lets out a breathless moan, practically squeezing him to his own release.
He pulls out and with a few strokes of his hand, paints her belly and her thighs with his spend.
She’s trembling, smiling, reaching out to touch him again, grabbing at his wrists and pulling herself up. She guides him to lay back in the bed and straddles him, tracing her finger over his lips, his jaw, along his nose to push his glasses up for him. He can hardly see through them, the lenses fogged up and smeared with sweat.
“That was fun, wasn’t it?” she says.
“Yeah,” he breathes, pawing at her hips, watching his cum as it drips down her body. He can feel a sense of pride swelling in his chest, the arousal in his gut starting to tighten again.
He gasps when she drags her wet cunt over his already hardening cock. “You.. want to go again?”
She tilts her head, looking down at him with that familiar excited look in her eyes as her mouth spreads into an eager grin. “You’re adorable,” she says, tracing her fingertips over his chest, down the lines of his abs, to the trail of thin hair on his navel.
She leans down, reaching between them to take his cock in her hand, moving with agonisingly slow strokes. When he tries to protest she silences him with little more than a peck on his lips, before she trails down to his throat. “I stand by what I said, Gavey, and you’re not leaving this bed until we’ve taken that ego of yours down a notch.”
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caffeinewitchcraft · 7 months ago
Text
The Hero and Hope (part 3/5)
(part 1) (part 2)
Summary: You've been adopted before. That's why you know better than to hope for another chance, especially a second chance with the Bahrs
-----
It’s not that you don’t want to be adopted. You just know that you’re not going to be. You’re the oldest in the orphanage, barely three years away from aging out. People don’t adopt kids your age, especially not obstinate, mean ones like you.
Besides, you’re a Hero. As soon as you master your power, you’ll be compelled to leave and fight evil anyway. That’s why it doesn’t matter if the Bahrs want you or not. You’re not somebody that’s supposed to have a family.
You barely remember the first time you were adopted. That was back when the Director of the orphanage was mean and biting. You have a vague memory of gold exchanging hands and leaving in the middle of the night. Your new parents barely looked at you and didn’t call you by your name at all.
You don’t remember a lot of that time. You were five and it was a struggle to go from living with a dozen kids to no one at all. Your new family gave you your own room in their small house and told you not to get underfoot.
The first time you ran away from their house, you didn’t get far. The baker in town brought you back to them and warned them about how kids your age are always slipping out when not paid enough attention.
“If you do it again,” the person who paid for you said, “you’re going straight back to the orphanage.”
And you do.
--------.
The day of the picnic, every kid wakes up early without being told.
You watch as Hera fusses over all the younger ones, straightening new shirts and brushing dust off knees. Josiah is reading one of the newest books Mrs. Bahr – Marie – brought, biting the skin on the side of his thumb. You snag Hera as she races to find Annie some ribbon for her hair.
“Hold up, let me brush your hair first,” you say.
Hera frantically pats the braids she slept in. “I forgot about my hair!” She turns large, watery eyes on you. “Islaaaa!”
You snort and help her unwind each braid. She decides to leave it down, charmed by the waves the braids left in her hair. Your hands don’t shake as you work even though your heart is racing. Today is the day of the picnic.
Today might be the day the Bahrs pick one of you to adopt. The younger kids don’t know that, the information carefully hidden from them, but Hera knows. Director Sarah knows. You know.
It’s been a long time since you felt this sort of anxiety. The second time you were adopted was just before the Winter and it wasn’t bad at first. The couple who adopted you ran an inn in town. It was exciting to have your own room and your new mother wanted you to call her Mom right away. Six-years-old and you were so excited just to be able to call someone your parent. This time you were going to listen. You weren’t going to run away or complain if their house felt too big and too lonely. This time you were going to get it right.
You didn’t think about what they wanted from you in exchange.
It wasn’t until the second week when they found out you weren’t really much use for anything that things started getting bad.
You breathe in through your nose and proclaim Hera’s hair finished. She thanks you and races off to find Annie, determined to put the ribbon she picked in the younger girl’s hair.
The Bahrs aren’t like the innkeepers. Whoever they adopt won’t be expected to know how to read or do math or how to take care of horses. If they are required to then Marie and Ivan will teach them first. Both have spent enough time at the orphanage for you to believe that. Isn’t it Marie who’s teaching all of you your letters? Wasn’t it Ivan who taught you how to better put up a fence?
Whoever they choose will be fine, you think. It’s both a relief and a sting. Whoever they choose will be fine. It’s just probably not going to be you. Not when Annie is so sweet and social and Hera is so strong and kind. Not when Josiah works so hard to soak up everything they have to teach him.
“Is everyone ready?” Director Sarah asks. She’s standing by the door. Her clothes are nicer than usual too, a dress made of a light blue fabric you’ve never seen before. Her hair is carefully combed back into an updo and fastened with a tie Hera made for her last winter. She runs a critical eye over all of you. “You all look very nice. Josiah, tie your shoes, please. Annie, leave the slate in your room, what you do if you lost it? Honestly…”
You let Director Sarah fuss over the kids, slipping out the door ahead of everyone. You don’t own a dress, but the button-down shirt is new and starched. Director Sarah helped you embroider bluebells on the collar and sleeves, and you think it turned out well.
You may not be getting adopted today, but you’re excited to see the Bahr family’s estate. The sun is warm overhead, the sky an endless blue. The summer is mild this year, perfect for a party. Isn’t that what Mr. Bahr – Ivan – told you to think of it as? A party. No strings attached.
A wagon comes up the lane. The Bahr family’s home is too far for the younger kids to walk to, past the town and closer to the Lord’s manor. They said they’d send a wagon for all of you, but something still clenches in your chest when you actually see it. Wagons are an expense the orphanage can’t justify, but, apparently, the Bahrs can.
The driver smiles kindly when he pulls up next to you. “Everyone ready to go?”
Before you can answer, the kids are pouring out the front door, chattering excitedly. You help Director Sarah lift the smaller ones into the seats near the front. The wagon is open topped, so Director Sarah can look over everyone sternly, twisting around in her spot next to the driver.
“No playing during the ride,” she instructs. “Mr. Dallen is very kindly driving us so you must listen to him, alright?”
Mr. Dallen also turns around. “I don’t have too many rules,” he says. He pretends to think, scratching his thick beard.  He grins “Don’t fall out!”
He’s joking, but that’s why you’re stationed at the back of the wagon. From your seat, you’ll be able to stop any roughhousing before “falling out” becomes a real danger. Already you’re eyeing the way Josiah is fidgeting. He’s incredibly calm when he’s reading, but otherwise he’s like a tornado. There’s a reason he’s the one that fell into the well in the first place. Hera sits primly next to him, her hands folded in her lap. You can tell she’s watching him from the corner of her eye. There’s a reason she’s the one who pulled Josiah out of the well.
Mr. Dallen directs the horses away from the orphanage, through the orchard, and along the road cutting through the fields. When you’re going to the forest to hunt, you take the narrower path that winds through the orchard and more directly into the tree line. The wagon is forced to stay on the wider road where the horses won’t sink into any mud and the wagon wheels won’t catch on rocks or dense foliage.
After the fields is the town. The kids wave to every Villager and Blacksmith they see. “Good day!” “Morning!” “We’re going to a picnic!” Hera pulls Annie back from the edge of the wagon before she tips over onto the street.
You slouch in your seat, wishing you were wearing a hat. While the first family who adopted you left town ages ago to live in the Capital, the innkeepers are still around. You don’t look as you pass their business and try not to listen to Josiah carefully sounding out the name of their inn.
When you open your eyes, Director Sarah is looking at you. You okay? She mouths. She wasn’t at the orphanage for your first adoption, but she was there for the innkeepers. You feign going to sleep. Just tired. She pretends to believe you and turns back to continue chatting with Mr. Dallen.
The kids are excited to go through the forest. Many of them are too young to even go into town with Director Sarah, a privilege you earn at ten years old, and they point to every bird, deer and mushroom they see amongst the trees. You let the sound of nature and the kids’ chatter lull you into a sort of meditation. The estate is only thirty minutes away now that you’re out of town.
You’re nearly dropping off to sleep when Director Sarah’s voice changes in pitch. Your sensitive hearing can pick up a thread of concern in her voice. What makes Director Sarah concerned, makes you concerned.
“—demons in the woods,” Sarah is saying very quietly. She glances out of her peripherals towards the back to make sure no kids are listening. If she notices how you’re only pretending to sleep, she doesn’t show any sign of it. “Shouldn’t we ask the kids to be quiet?”
“The Lord’s Knights have been patrolling,” Mr. Dallen says equally quietly. You can see him scan the trees for a moment before he smiles reassuringly at Director Sarah. “We’ll be okay so long as we stick to the road.”
“Alright.”
You keep a closer eye on the surrounding forest.
“There! There it is!”
Annie’s shout drags you attention from a (suspiciously) shadowed gully. The woods have thinned enough that hedges of the Bahrs’ estate can be seen. You’ve only been out this far once, a long, long time ago. You’ve never been past this point.
You’re just as surprised as the rest of the kids when the hedges give way to a castle.
That’s not a manor. You’ve never seen either, but you’re sure of this. Manors are supposed to look like the orphanage or any of the buildings in town, just larger. The Bahrs’ home has towers. The front doors are three times the height of a regular one and you can see that the handles and knockers are made of copper. The stone isn’t white like the castles in picture books, but it’s clean and neatly cut.
“Wow,” Hera breathes.
You agree.
Mr. Dallen directs the horses right up the main driveway, cheerfully explaining that the roses are the flower of the estate, aren’t they beautiful? Even Hera can only manage a faint noise of agreement, eyes wide on the house.
“The party’s around back,” Mr. Dallen says cheerfully. He clicks his tongue and the horses stop just short of the front doors. “I’ll take you there.”
Around back. You expect him to lead you around the side of the castle, past rows of rose bushes and the fountains that are tucked between the hedges. Instead, Mr. Dallen opens the front doors without knocking and directs everyone to follow him.
You’ve never seen anywhere so grand. The kids follow Mr. Dallen in hushed awe, gaping at the marble staircase that bisects the foyer. There are two chandeliers to either side of the grand staircase that each send a spray of rainbow light across the walls. Is the manor a little bare? The walls empty of portraits and artwork? You eye a pair of crossed axes hanging just beyond the shadow of the staircase.
“They’re ordering portraits from the Capital,” Mr. Dallen says, gesturing carelessly to the space where a portrait of the homeowners might hang. Then under his breath, “Unless they hang more swords there instead.”
“Excuse me?” Hera asks.
“Nothing,” Mr. Dallen says cheerfully. He guides them past the staircase and a row of doors to the back of the house. The large doors at the back of the house are already open. Mr. Dallen cups a hand over his mouth and calls, “Ho ho, look here! Look who’s arrived!”
“Surprise!” Ivan shouts, throwing his hands up in the air. He’s standing on the stone patio just outside the house, but he’s not the only one. Mrs. Bahr is next to him, her hands clasped in front of her, beaming. Behind her is a dozen other adults. “It’s a party!”
“Welcome,” Mrs. Bahr says warmly. She’s dressed elegantly in a long, red tunic that’s embroidered with the Lord’s crest. The Lord is here as well, his golden hair and eyes unmistakable even amongst the crowd. “Welcome to our home.”
You’re already at the back of the group, but you hang back further as the younger kids cautiously step out into the sun. Your eyes flick from face to face. You recognize a few of the people. There’s the Baker from town and her wife, there’s the Merchant that comes through every third week, there’s the Villager that donates zucchini—
And there are the innkeepers who, once upon a time, told you to call them your parents. They’re older than you remember, light hair gone silver in the sun, but it’s them. They’re right by the Lord, eagerly waiting near him for the opportunity to talk.
It’s very clear what this is. You watch the kids stream out onto the patio to greet Ivan and Marie. The other adults study the kids like zoo animals, eyes flicking to their clean party outfits to their happy faces. This isn’t a party for the kids. It’s a party for them. They’re showing off to each other. Look at how great they are! They’re helping out the poor orphan kids! You’re very familiar with these sort of events from back when the other Director was in charge. You just didn’t think you’d ever have to be near one again.
You take a step back and are stopped by Director Sarah.
“It’s okay, Isla,” Director Sarah murmurs. You didn’t even notice her falling back to your side. Her hand is gentle on your elbow. “It’s not what you think.”
Not what you think? You watch the Villager who runs the general store ask Josiah about the book he’s reading. The Bahrs are proudly introducing Annie and Hera to the Lord. There is something different about it, but you can’t quite put your finger on it. All you can see is the way the adults are watching the kids. You breathe in through your nose like Ivan taught you. In. Out. “What is it?”
“Fixing my mistake,” Director Sarah says.
That gets your attention. Your eyes dart from the happy scene in front of you to Sarah and back again. With the white umbrellas over the food tables, the streamers strung between garden trellises, and the kids dressed in their best, it looks like a painting. In contract, Sarah’s lips are pursed and the shadows of the house make her appear more tired than she is.
“There’s a parlor,” Mr. Dallen says. You jump when he speaks and he grimaces apologetically. He jerks a thumb over his shoulder. “If you need to talk.”
Marie is looking over the heads of the kids to where you’re standing, a frown on her face. She mouths your name, concern in her eyes. Your jaw clenches when the Merchant steps in front of her, hiding you from view.
“Yeah,” you say. “Let’s talk.” You spin on your heel.
Sarah follows you silently. You feel wrong-footed and caged by the entire situation. This was supposed to be a picnic, wasn’t it? No strings attached? Your dress shirt is tight around your neck and you flick open the top button.
“I should have told you,” Sarah says as soon as the door closes. There are two couches in the room adjacent to a large window that overlooks the party. Neither of you sits down. Sarah folds her hands in front of her skirts. “I apologize.”
“What are they doing here?” you ask. You gesture to the window. “The Lord, I understand. He’s the Lord. But the Baker? The Merchant?” You bark a laugh. “They’re not here to adopt anyone.”
“Maybe not,” Sarah says evenly, “but they’re good connections to have.”
“Connections?” You scoff. You remember watching the empty road through that winter nearly seven years ago. “What good are their connections?”
“Annie loves baking,” Sarah says. She doesn’t flinch in the face of your anger. She watches you calmly and doesn’t so much as shift her weight when you start to pace. “The Baker is a good connection for her to have, even if she doesn’t want to adopt. Many of the shopkeepers in town are open to taking on apprentices.”
You falter. You didn’t think about that. Your eyes drift towards the window. You can hear Hera laughing and Josiah complaining good naturedly. You’re nearly 15, just a few years away from aging out. You can’t say you’ve never thought about the future before. “They said they’d be willing to do that?”
“Who knows what the future holds?” Sarah sighs and goes to take a seat on the sofa. She makes a sound low in her throat when she sits. “That wagon ride was not good for my back.”
“I don’t trust them,” you say. You stop pacing to sit opposite her. From this point in the room, you can see the party on the patio. They can also see you. Ivan doesn’t turn away from the dessert table, but you can sense his attention on you. You swallow. “We don’t need anything from them.”
“I agree,” Sarah says.
You blink. “What?”
Sarah laughs. It’s not her usual laugh that she shows the kids, gentle and fond and warm. It’s cold and a little sharp. You’ve only heard it once before when the snow finally melted, chasing the snow spirits away, and the town came to see what had become of the orphanage.
“You and I are a lot alike,” Sarah says. Her eyes drift somewhere distant. “Like you, I remember that Winter. I remember waiting for any sort of response to our pleas. I remember hearing nothing back. The helplessness I felt as our stores dwindled…” Her voice cracks. She shakes herself, swallowing hard. “Well. I don’t need to tell you what their lack of aid cost us.”
It takes you two tries to speak. Director Sarah feels the same way as you. “So why?”
“Why did I agree to the party?”
“Yes.”
“Because I need to forgive, not forget, if I want to fix my mistake,” Sarah says. Her lips thin. “I’m not perfect. Since I’ve been Director of the orphanage, there hasn’t been a single new hire. There have been no volunteers or extracurricular programs for the kids. I’ve kept us hidden.”
“You’ve kept us protected,” you say. Things under Director Sarah have always been better than what they were before. The kids are happier and brighter, and the pantry is always full. No one disappears in the middle of the night or dies under her watch. “We know you have.”
“I’ve tried,” Sarah says. She opens her hands, palms facing the ceiling. “I rebuilt the orphanage to be independent. I thought that if we were completely self-sustaining, we’d be alright. But in doing so I’ve hurt the children. The orphanage is not supposed to be forever. They need connections with people, with the town, for when they grow up.”
“That—” You don’t know what you’re going to say. You fall silent, your anger fizzling out in your chest. She’s right. As much as you want everyone to stay together, you know that can’t happen. What Sarah is saying isn’t wrong, but… “Today is supposed to be for the kids. Not for them to feel better about themselves helping the orphans.”
“The kids are having fun,” Sarah says. There’s a peal of laughter from outside as if to underscore her words. She smiles as she stands. “Kids includes you too, you know. Let me worry about the adults.”
You stand too. You know the conversation is coming to a close and that, soon, you’ll be expected to go out there with Sarah. “Um…”
“Yes?”
You nearly don’t say it. But the way Sarah is waiting for you to speak is so patient that you muster up the courage. “The innkeepers are here. They aren’t…?”
Again, you’re not sure what you’re about to say. There’s a sick fear in your stomach that they’re here to tell the Bahrs all about how awful you were when you with them. Maybe they’re looking for another kid to demand too much of. Maybe they’re here because, in the end, you didn’t mean anything to them and what happened between you and them doesn’t make a difference--
Even if you don’t know what you’re going to say, Sarah must. Her smile darkens. “I’ll take care of the adults,” she repeats. She smooths her hand over your hair when you follow her to the door. “Why don’t you stay in here for a moment? I’ll just have a word with the innkeepers.”
You wait in the parlor while Sarah joins the party. You twist your hands together to keep from picking at the embroidery on your sleeves. You almost want to stop Sarah from talking to the innkeepers. It was so long ago, before the Winter, it shouldn’t matter anymore. You’re being ridiculous to be so worried about them when there are bigger things going on. You—
Hera throws open the door to the parlor. Her braids are a little frizzy already and there’s a flush high on her cheeks. “Isla! We’re playing team tag and you’re the only one fast enough to catch Marie. Come on!”
You don’t have the option to say no. Hera yanks you by the sleeve out onto the patio. The guests are much more dispersed now, pockets of adults around this table or that. They’re not studying the kids now. They’re just watching them as they run to and fro across the lawn, bemused smiles on their faces.
Ivan cheers when he sees you. Like Hera, his face is bright red. “Isla!” he pants. “You’re on my team!”
Marie sprints past, her skirts hiked up to her knee. She runs as if she’s in full armor, strides long and shoulders square. You wonder if she notices no one is chasing her anymore. “It won’t be enough!” she cries.
Josiah is laying on the grass. He chucks his fist in the air. “Go, Marie! Go!” He gasps for breath. “We’re unstoppable.”
“You’re out,” Annie tells him crossly. She’s also laying flat on her back, but seems to be faring better in the breathing department. “You’ve stopped.”
“Shut it—”
You scan the crowd. You don’t see the innkeepers anywhere, not even near where the Lord is sitting. You look over your shoulder back towards the house just in time to see Director Sarah disappearing around the corner. She’s talking to someone just ahead of her. Is she escorting the innkeepers out?
“Isla?” Hera slips her hand in yours. Her eyes are knowing. “You okay?”
You clear your throat, aware of all the eyes on you. You tuck  some hair that’s escaped her braid behind her ear. “Just trying to decide which team I should join.”
Ivan cries out in dismay. “Isla, please!”
Grinning, you join the game.
-----
(part 1) (part 2)
Thanks for reading! If you'd like to read the conclusion of Isla's tale before next week, please consider supporting me on Patreon (X)!
Up this week is a continuation of my Cinderella Retelling, Cinderella Doesn't Believe in Fairytales
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futuremrscameron · 3 months ago
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·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱༻¨*:·bestie!kook·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱༻¨*:·
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content warnings: toxic codependency, mutual obsession, discussions of antiblackness in predominantly white spaces, mentions of drugs/drug abuse, symptoms of bpd, discussion of colorism, sexual tension, misogyny, blood, violence, implied underage drinking, maternal issues, fear of abandonment, parental issues, classism, hinted/implied sexual content
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bestie!kook is not spoiled, not bitchy, but a secret third thing (knows what the fuck she wants and doesn’t let anyone call her bitchy greedy or selfish). she’s an only child, of course she turned out this way.
bestie!kook lives in a mansion-like beach house and met kelce at the house party her parents threw to get to know their neighbors (flex on them). she and kelce both had the same idea of hiding out on the roof. they watched the stars, talked about school starting soon, and the struggles of being black in figure eight.
she hates her parents for moving her here.
okay hate might be a strong word but she’s not thrilled. she adjusts her halter green short chiffon dress as she sits down on the roof. she may be mad at her parents but she would never hear the end of it if she flashed the party guests. she removes her sparkly green heels and looks up at the stars. she knows there’s no real answer in the stars but looking at them has always helped her. she closes her eyes, ready to wish upon a star when she hears him.
“you mind if i chill with you?”
a dark skinned black boy she saw earlier at the party. kelce. he’s wearing a rose gold three piece suit with brown shoes. great taste in fashion? his parents definitely made him wear it.
“did my parents send you?”
“no.”
“did your parents send you?”
“no.” he chuckles
“huh.” interesting. “fine.”
he looks amused. she hates him already. “don’t jump for joy too much, i don’t know how sturdy your roof is.”
he chuckles, “that’s dark.”
“maybe.” he takes off his blazer and carefully places it on the space next to her. he sits down, arms holding his knees, looking up at the stars.
she breaks the silence when it becomes unbearable. “why are you here?”
he glanced at her and shards before turning his attention back to the stars. “party’s lame, not really my scene.”
“what’s your scene?”
he smiles, “you’ll find out soon.”
“you’re just assuming we’ll roll with the same crowd?”
he scoffs as if telling her not to play dumb. “please.”
she nods, understanding what he’s hinting at. “that bleak huh?”
he shrugs, “i’m not gonna lie and tell you i was the only black kid in school but… it’s no new york.”
“so ten times worse.”
he chuckles dryly, “exactly. before i came up here i was called “surprisingly well spoken”.”
she’s not surprised but it’s not what she wants to hear . especially not after getting her life uprooted by her parents the summer before her thirteenth birthday and moved them to the middle of nowhere.
“can’t say i’m surprised. i mean, not even an hour into the party some lady tried to touch my hair and some boy said “my skin looked good in green” fucking bitch.”
“oh we’re trading horror stories? in third grade my math teacher kept getting me confused with the other black boy in class.”
“let me guess he was light skinned.”
“light skinned. light as the fucking sun.”
they both laugh, not at the situation itself but the predictable action. when the laughter dies down he clears his throat.
“you know i have these two friends i think you’d like them.”
“only two? shocker.”
he sighs, “you ever hear the phrase ‘you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.’?”
she raises an eyebrow, “is that what you tell yourself to get you through these parties? go along to get along?”
“basically.”
“there’s no way you actually believe that.”
“and what if i do? is that so awful?”
she looks at him, really looks at him for the first time that night. “i guess not.”
they sit in silence again.
“why?”
he looks at her. “why what?”
“why reach out to me? you could’ve just left me up here alone, let me be an outcast. why didn’t you?”
he stands up and picks up his blazer. he looks down at her and smiles. “i know you wanna look like this lone wolf cool girl but… i see you..”
his words send chills down her spine. she writes that off as the cool night air.
“fuck off.”
he chuckles. “see you monday.”
he later invited her to a party the saturday before school and the rest is history.
bestie!kook is kook princess before sarah. the most popular girl in school and in outer banks, an amazing feat for someone who wasn’t born and raised in obx. she was known for her jaw dropping beauty, affluent family, and strange friendship with the kook boys. rafe, kelce, topper, and her were very popular and not just cause they were the richest. the parties they threw are still talked about to this day
bestie!kook who everyone assumes is sweet because of her bright colored outfits when in actuality she’s blunt, cold, stand-off ish, and at times, a genuine menace. she once planted coke on a girl and got her expelled for distribution all cause she didn’t like the way she looked at rafe at a party
four years after moving to obx and she can’t imagine being anywhere else.
“i guess i’m just trying to understand why and how she could do something like this. she was top of the class!” tiffany pushes a honey blonde french curl braid off her shoulder and behind her back. she brushes down her uniform's skirt and fiddles with her loose tie.
tiffany was bestie!kook’s first black girl friend in outer banks. she moved there a year after her which tiffany thinks was fate. they met in pre-algebra, tiffany helped bestie!kook solve a problem that was kicking her ass. they got to talking and have been best friends ever since. she was genuinely kind and despite popular belief, really fucking smart. academically not socially.
“please, this is totally on brand for girls like her, they think they’re too smart to get caught. did you hear her talking about ‘academic immunity’ when they arrested her? that’s not a thing!”
gianna, was the only obx native in the trio. though she transferred from kildare county high school to kildare private academy in the middle of the semester last year. she was tiffany's complete opposite in every way, she wore the complete uniform with no alterations, was more of a loner than a social butterfly, and rocked bold makeup rather than tiffany's go-to subdued look.
she and bestie!kook got along immediately despite being so similar and horribly blunt. bestie!kook loved her no bullshit attitude and disregard for standard kook faux niceties. she also loved that they were close in skin tone. she adored tiffany but there were some things the light skinned girl just couldn’t understand.
bestie!kook stifles a laugh at her friend’s remark and thanks the heavens that her face is buried in the locker so they can’t see her grin. they’re talking about the scandalous affair that they witnessed less than an hour ago but she’s too hungover to care.
she opens her locker and lifts her sunglasses to cheek herself in her locker’s newly bedazzled mirror.
“but still, ashley? ashley who calls weed marijuana expelled for selling coke!? personal feelings aside you can’t tell me that’s not totally sketch.” tiffany’s cheeks are flushed from her raising her voice and screaming about her conspiracy theory. she fans her face, trying to calm herself down. her usual light skin has some more melanin to it after spending her summer outside tanning.
“yes i can. it’s not insane, she acted like she was better than everyone, people like that always have some shit to hide.” gianna frowns at tiffany’s sympathy for the girl.
“but she was always nice to me.” tiffany frowns at the newfound information.
“gee i wonder why.” the dark skinned girl unwraps a piece of bubblegum and pops it in her mouth. “that bitch had it coming. you remember when she wrote that “anonymous” column about how certain students need to ‘speak properly and appropriately at school’. should’ve beat her ass then, pick-me ass bitch.”
“we don’t know that that was her.”
“she’s already been through so much.”
“please did you see the way she looked at rafe? she totally wanted him.”
tiffany frowns, not at the slight directed at her but the new information. “really? i never noticed.”
bestie!kook loved her but she was never great at paying attention to details and believed people always honest about their intentions. she also had certain blind spots like anti-blackness that wasn’t blatantly obvious.
“of course you didn’t.”
“hey!” tiffany's face is red with anger and embarrassment.
bestie!kook slams her locker shut, drawing both girls attention to her. she sighs and punches the bridge of her nose. “it’s too early for this shit.”
the girls apologize at the same time. bestie!kook frowns, “i don’t want you girls fighting over someone so… insignificant.”
they both look like they want to argue their points to her further but are (thankfully) interrupted by none other than rafe cameron.
rafe throws his arm around bestie!kook reader and gives the other girls a semi-friendly smile. “hey ladies.”
“hey rafe!”
“cameron.”
bestie!kook pouts, “what, no greeting for me?”
rafe turns his attention to her. he still towers over her despite her heeled shoes.
he shrugs, “well you ditched me this morning and we saw each other in home room." his tone is nonchalant but she knows him, his real feelings always show in his eyes. his stare is cold, if looks could kill she'd burn under his gaze.
she scoffs, “okay 'ditched' is crazy, i drove myself to school one time and home room was hours ago i want a new greeting.”
“hmm.”
his cold response irks her. she glances at her girls and they get the message.
gianna clears her throat. “we should probably get going tiff.”
tiffany frowns, “what but this is our free period?”
“which is why we made plans remember?”
“we did?”
she grabs tiffany's hand and drags her away. “yes.”
“ooh can we go to chick-fil-a!?”
“sure babe.”
rafe turns his attention back to bestie!kook, "what were you guys talking about?"
she closes her locker and takes off her sunglasses. “nothing.”
he removes his arm from around her shoulder and blocks her view of the hallway. “it was ashley wasn't it.”
of course he knew. "if you knew why the fuck would you ask?"
"well fuck me for giving you the benefit of the doubt."
"benefit of the doubt for what!?"
"to tell me the truth!" they've gained the attention of some students and admin by now. she blushes and grabs his hand, "come on." she drags him away and doesn't stop til they reach the janitor's closet.
"i know this is about last night. you know you can tell me anything right?" his strikingly blue eyes shine with worry.
she nods. “okay.”
she tells him everything. that morning she threw on her sunglasses after donning her uniform with a plan in mind. she hadn’t even carpooled with rafe like they usually do just so she could get there early and set her plan in motion. she had ashley write her a fake doctor’s note for her sunglasses and hugged her to show her appreciation. the girl was caught off guard and that’s when she planted the coke on her.
rafe is stunned into silence. he looks down at her, “you did that for me?” his voice is uncharacteristically soft.
she looks up at him through her eyelashes. “i’d do anything for you.”
bestie!kook might be a nepo baby but she works for her money. she has her own business doing hair and opened up outer banks's first beauty supply store at 19. her grandma thought her when she was young cause she hated having to wait on her to book (mostly home) appointments, with her busy schedule.
bestie!kook and kelce are like siblings in the way they argue. a lot of the figure eight residents also think they’re related but that’s something else entirely. he was her first friend in obx after all and is one if the few black kids in figure eight.
bestie!kook cleans up her diy hair station in her living room as kelce follows her around.
“if you’re gonna be here you might as well help.” she shoves a large container of hair into his hands. he looks down at it and back up at her, she’s already moved onto another location.
he catches up to her easily. she curses his long legs internally. “what about the friend discount?”
“doesn’t apply to you after you broke my fucking vanity.”
he pouts. “how long are you gonna hold that against me?”
“forever. don’t ask me stupid questions.”
“okay if not for me then do it for my sister.”
“that’s not fair.”
“she really wants to look good for her eight grade formal and i know it’s last minute so i’ll pay extra.”
he gives her his best puppy dog eyes. she looks disgusted.
she rolls her eyes and sighs, “fine. but only ‘cause i love your sister.”
“yes!” he gives her his best boyish smiles, “and i know you love me too.”
“please. you’re lucky i don’t gut you with this comb.”
“jesus.”
bestie!kook who puts up a wall to stop people from getting too close because she believes when you let people in that’s when you get hurt. rafe changes that for her
bestie!kook and rafe being so close is a surprise to everyone in town until they get to know her. they’re the same but different. he trusts her more than anyone else, it’s why he tells her everything from his mom leaving when he was young to killing peterkins
bestie!kook whose fashion can be described in five words; bright colors and mini skirts
bestie!kook who is always the best dressed at midsummer and always goes with rafe
year 1
year 2
year 3
year 4
year 5
year 6
year 7
bestie!kook goes to the main land a lot cause the local shops just don’t have what she wants and brings rafe along nine times out of ten
rafe and bestie!kook planned their shopping day to the mainland weeks in advance. it was the perfect date. emphasis on 'was'. topper joined last minute because he was in a bad mood after sarah made him look stupid. again.
bestie!kook runs around the shop like a kid in a candy store picking up dresses, tops, shorts, and skirts and putting them in her cart.
"rafe!" she runs over to rafe and shows him her newest find. "isn't this the cutest?"
rafe smirks, "you gonna model it for me."
she bites her lower lip, "maybe if you’re good"
he chuckles as she skips away. he looks to his left and spots his friend frowning. "what?"
topper jumps slightly like a kid who's been caught taking extra halloween candy. "nothing."
his passivity has always irritated rafe, "just spit it out. i don't want you sulking for the rest of the day."
topper takes a deep breath, preparing himself to speak and for rafe's reaction. “i’m just saying man no disrespect to you or her but i wouldn’t let my girl leave the house wearing shit like that.”
“damn this is hard. listen to the man who got cheated on and punked in front of a crowd and called me crying about it and begging for my help at 3 a.m. or keep doing what i'm doing." rafe pretends to be deep in thought, tapping his chin and furrowing his brows. “i think i’m good.”
topper frowns, "you said you wouldn't bring that up again."
bestie!kook and rafe’s relationship is the topic of many discussions, people don’t know if they’re just friends, dating, or friends with benefits. the main questioners are the camerons and topper the topic usually comes up at breakfast which ward mandates a family event.
bestie!kook whose boyfriend best friend rafe has scary dog privileges. he’ll fight anyone, girls included he doesn’t give a fuck.
bestie!kook loves getting high with rafe cause they balance each other out. she gets all deep in thought and philosophical and he gets pathetic and horny.
bestie!kook, smoking leisurely: you know… while i was away, when i felt down… i would climb up to my roof and look to the stars. it was comforting knowing you were under the same stars. 400 miles away with the same constellations, isn't that crazy?
rafe, on his third line, pupils so dilated he looks like an excited kitten: can yuo put that out on me?
bestie!kook loves partying with rafe, whether it’s a party thrown by one of them, their friends, or a boneyard party they’re there one never far from the other
rafe doesn’t dance. it’s not that he can’t he’s just not into it. at parties he’s either selling, drinking, or doing coke. unless he’s with bestie!kook. she's sitting on his lap while he counts money. he's doing a line off her tits and he's placing an ecstasy pill on her tongue. she’s dragging him to the dance floor. slow dancing leads to grinding which leads to one of them dragging the other to a private area and coming back 30 minutes later with ruffled clothes and hair.
bestie!kook who uses rafe’s need for approval and complex maternal issues to combat being on the receiving end of his misogyny make sure she comes out unscathed compared to the other women in his life
rafe comes to her after melting the cross. it's almost midnight when she answers the aggressive knocking and sees a bloody rafe.
“oh my god.” he pushes past her into the house muttering something to himself. she closes the door and follows after him, “rafe.” he continues pacing and muttering like he doesn’t hear her. “rafe!”
“it’s all my fault. everyone’s gonna know. they’re gonna- just gotta- gotta fix it i can’t fix it.”
“rafe!” he snaps out of his daze and finally meets her eyes. there’s blood around his mouth and bruises on his hand.
“what happened?”
“um..” he sniffs and wipes at his nose. “i tried to fix it.” his voice cracks, barely hiding the sadness in his voice. “i tried i did but i- i just made it worse.”
she holds her arms out. he melts into her arms and shrinks himself down to fit in her hold. “i’m sorry.”
she caresses his head. “hey it’s okay. it’s okay.”
bestie!kook is 99% positive rafe does not like women. he’s definitely attracted to them but she doesn’t think he views them as people. over the years she’s noticed that rafe puts women into two categories; caretakers and objects of desire
bestie!kook doesn’t strictly fall into either category so it breaks his brain a little bit trying to figure out how he should treat her which leads to many of their fights
they're at a party a when he pulls her off the dance floor and away from her dancing partner and takes her to an empty room.
"what the fuck rafe!?" she screams as she watches his lock the door.
he stalks towards her, “so what you’re just throwing yourself at any guy who’s nice to you?”
“fuck you rafe! you’re just mad he had the guts to admit what you’ve been thinking all these years.”
he scoffs, “is that what you think? huh?” he chuckles and moves closer, every time he takes a step forward she takes a step back. “yeah i bet you’d like that wouldn’t you? you know i thought you were a nice girl but you’re just like every other slut in this party.”
“i’m not talking to you. not when you’re being like this.”
“like what?”
“an asshole! i don’t like talking to you when you’re being an asshole, rafe. okay?”
he chuckles coldly, “what you think you’re better than me?”
his movements are twitchy, scratching his ear one second and rubbing his head the next and his pupils are dilated.
she frowns, he's really high right now. "look i don't have time for this back and forth bullshit okay?"
he frowns, "it's not bullshit okay and and i just i don’t get you. you lose your shit when i talk to a girl but here you are doing worse. do you know how it makes me look? my best friend dry humping some guy on the dance floor?”
“of course it’s about you. it’s always back to being about you. you’re so fucking selfish!”
“hey!” he grabs her face, squeezes her cheeks with his hand. “you think you’re better than me is that it?”
she scratches at his hand and pushes at his chest but when he’s high he’s like a whole different being. “let go.”
“i’m just trying to figure out what your end goal is.”
“stop it rafe!” she pushes him away, tears in her eyes and fire the first time she looks genuinely afraid of him. that sobers him up real quick.
“i’m sorry.” he reaches out to her but she slaps his hand away.
“fuck you rafe.” she storms past him, leaving him stewing in self hatred and regret.
bestie!kook who lets him in when he apologizes the next day like clockwork saying the usual right things
“i’m sorry. i was high and-”
“you said some really hurtful things rafe.”
“i know.”
she can’t stay mad at him, not when he gets on his knees and begs for her forgiveness. begs her not to leave him.
bestie!kook who is an icon to many of obx’s young women. she doesn’t take shit from anyone. especially not men.
“hey jj, she said she doesn’t want the drink fuck off.”
“well if it isn’t the future mrs cameron. shouldn’t you be busy buying his coke or something?”
“so funny! hey stop me if you’ve heard this one, white trash pogue joins father in jail after forcing sketchy beverage on sarah cameron, daughter of prominent figure of the community?”
“fuck you.”
“byyeeee.” she smiles and wiggles her fingers while waving. she turns back to sarah, “sorry about that.”
sarah looks at her in awe, “thanks, sorry you had to do that.”
“please, we girls gotta look out for each other. plus you could put in a good word for me with your brother.”
“my god.”
bestie!kook whose relationship with the camerons is all over the place. rafe is her favorite but sarah is her biggest supporter (after rafe of course). she often lends an ear to her when she fights with rafe though she’s not the most helpful and her bias shows.
it’s 1 a.m. on a saturday when bestie!kook sees topper’s instagram story and spotted rafe in the background with his tongue down some girl’s throat. she sits on her bed crying while gianna and sarah comfort her.
“i told you he wasn’t shit.”
sarah nods, “gianna’s right, you deserve better”
gianna sobs harder, “why didn’t i call tiffany?”
“because you wanted the truth not to be coddled.”
bestie!kook continues crying as sarah rubs her shoulder.
“hey he’s a dick.”
“he’s your brother sarah.”
“which is why i know it better than anyone.”
bestie!kook who treats wheezie like the little sister she’s always wanted. rafe says she spoils her but she doesn’t care she finds the girl absolutely adorable.
she takes wheezie out for a girls day filled with ice cream, shopping, and fireworks watching. all good things can’t last long though which is why rafe calls her while she’s out with wheezie. she answers the phone cheerfully, “hi rafe.”
“i miss you.” she can almost hear his pout over the phone.
“i miss you too. but i promised wheezie i’d take her out for ice cream.”
“you spoil her. it’s why she acts like that..”
she rolls her eyes. “look i gotta go, my favorite cameron’s calling me.”
“haha. wait do you really mean that? hello!?”
“bye rafe.”
bestie!kook and ward’s relationship is a bit strained, he likes her but he worries about her impact on his son’s fragile state and her hold over him. he’s like a wise father figure with a sketchy past and present.
bestie!kook who is actually sweet to rafe. everyone notices the way she is seeing others vs the way she acts around him. goes from ambivalent god to schoolgirl in love
he comes to her often crying about ward’s mistreatment and distrust. when ward kicks him out he goes to her.
“you shouldn’t be just tell me to fuck off. i’m more trouble then it’s worth.”
she frowns, “don’t say that that’s not true.”
he sniffles and shakes his head. she doesn’t know how to help him, she hates seeing him in pain like this. she slowly and gently reaches out to him and grabs his hand. she feels him tense and gives his hand a soft squeeze,. “you’ll always have me. i’m on your side.”
that’s exactly what he needed to hear.
bestie!kook and rose don’t get along much. rose is very passive aggressive and bestie!kook is very blunt. unstoppable force immovable object.
bestie!kook notices rafe’s coke use is becoming more frequent ever since he came back from the bahamas. she wants to help rafe get better but there’s only so much she can do. people (ward and rose) often forget she’s just a kid, she loves rafe but love isn’t enough to save him.
“mrs. cameron-”
“please no need for formalities you’re practically family. call me rose.”
“okay rose. i’m not gonna beat around the bush cause i respect you. i think rafe should go to rehab.”
“what?”
“it’s on the mainland and i know it seems sudden and all but i’ve noticed him getting worse and i’m scared that- that if we don’t act now. before we know it- it’ll be too late and i- i don’t wanna lose him.”
her voice catches in her throat as she thinks of rafe’s declining mental state and growing drug use. rose hugs her and softly rubs her back.
“hey hey it’s okay it’s okay. you really love him.”
she sniffles and nods. rose nods, “then don’t mention this to him. forget about it.”
“excuse me?”
“he’s going through a lot right now.”
“yeah no shit that’s why he needs this.”
“why now? hm? why the sudden change in heart?” when she doesn’t get an answer she scoffs, “you spend all this time going to parties, coming here at good knows when high out of your minds and now you care? why? cause it’s affecting you now?”
“that’s not true. i care about him.”
“then don’t do this to him. not now not while he’s in such a fragile state.”
she scoffs, “please. like you care. we all know this isn’t him its about preserving great cameron name and its bullshit legacy.”
“keep your fucking voice down.” she glares at the girl. “you have some nerve coming to our house with this holier than thou bullshit. especially in our time of grief.”
she marches over to to the door and opens it, “i think it’s time for you to go.”
bestie!kook scoffs but walks to the door, not wanting to give the woman any more of her time. she glared at the woman, “if anything happens to him it’s on you.”
bestie!kook finds renfield’s dead body in the truck
she didn’t mean to truly. she was just worried about rafe and went looking for him in his own. he hadn’t been home for a while she wasn’t expecting him to be there, much less there with a dead body.
“it’s not what it looks like.”
she gasps, “rafe.”
“don’t scream.” breathing heavily, he looks at her lips then her eyes. “i didn’t kill him.”
she meets his eyes. “i believe you.”
his eyes widen in relief and shock. the upper corner of his mouth twitches up, the ghost of a smile. “i don’t why i ever doubted you.”
she looks back at the body and frowns. “what are we gonna do?”
“we?”
“if you think i’m gonna let you do this alone you really don’t know me.”
bestie!kook who is crushed when rafe leaves for guadeloupe. she stays in her room and cries believing that he’s gone for good. her friends and parents are worried at
bestie!kook who gets a knock on her door on her balcony window when she wakes up and runs to grab the gun she got after everything that went down with rafe and barry
she slowly approaches her window and opens her curtains with her gun drawn.
“hey.”
“rafe?” to say she’s shocked would be an understatement. “what the fuck are you doing here?” her tone hurts his chest but it doesn’t surprises him.
“i understand you’re mad.”
“understatement of the year.”
“but i can explain everything.”
“okay go.”
as far as explanations go. it’s not the worst excuse she’s ever heard. he pulls her into a tight hug. she could never stay mad at him for long.
“don’t ever leave me again.” it’s muffled into his chest.
“i won’t.”
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i really hope y’all liked this one it took me a minute. comment your thoughts, criticism is welcome as always but keep it classy. <3
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