#and especially to what that might do to me mentally.
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there are so many things in veilguard that have made me go "wait what??? okay i guess i have to totally rethink the character i'm roleplaying now" that it's literally impossible to guess what thing you're referring to as The Thing That Happened. obviously extremely curious to hear what it is once you've detangled it
itâs kind of like that but itâs also less that and more... okay i should probably just say it, iâm being weird and unhelpful and i need to write it out anyway so i can think
MASSIVE SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT for a companion quest, do NOT say i didnât warn you. also please donât respond to this if you know more than me i am in distress but i still donât want spoilers
so i just finished lucanisâ âa murder of crowsâ quest. and lucanis. first talon. for some reason. (this is the writing choice iâm ??? on. also iâm ??? on lucanisâ whole storyline, frankly. the writing was. well. like i said, weâre not unpicking that right now, i donât want to get into it at this point, not the conversation iâm having.)
lifelong trauma of being in the crows and fighting to get someone in a talonâs position and keep them there -> the thing that gave sol all their diseases and made them, to be frank, fairly suicidal
viago: ultimately can handle it without them, especially with teiaâs backing.
lucanis: CANNOT handle it without them. holy fuck. for like twelve hundred different reasons, unthinkable, completely laughable, that he can handle this. who is going to protect him. the only reason this could be better at keeping sol mentally stable than watching viagoâs back is that they will never feel purposeless or need to go looking for an adrenaline rush, because forget crows, an ambitious blackbird could eat that man alive. he canât scheme. he canât even SCHEME and the very fact that he trusts sol DE RIVA demonstrates this. sol is a crow! from another house! does he have no memory at all of the fact that his own parents died in crow infighting? sol could have been playing him this whole time, it wouldnât have even been hard, and if they were that kind of person, then right now the first talonâs house would have just fallen directly in their hands like a gift from the maker, and they canât even say a part of themself they canât shut off isnât thinking about it that way! how is sol supposed to keep someone like that alive?
you see what itâs like trying to sleep while sol is having this discussion in my mind.
ahem. anyway. pathways for solâs life assuming they indeed make it through the game:
becoming lucanisâ guard dog the way they were for viago, which (even if they could mentally handle that, which they canât. or can they??) means switching house loyalties which would surely destroy them eventually -> bad
somehow trying to persuade lucanis to give this up, as if that wouldnât be throwing house dellamorte completely to the dogs, which at least sol canât imagine any crow is capable of, let alone someone so dedicated to clinging to what remains of his family that he couldnât even kill a traitor -> bad
going ahead and leaving the crows, but sol now has to leave BOTH viago and lucanis behind and also lucanis is going to die in there because they left him to do this alone -> bad
solution: sol is back on their original âif a blighted dragon eats me by the end of this, i donât have to experience consequencesâ train
and maybe theyâre right and i should not worry about this because iâm painfully aware itâs VERY bold to start deciding what happens after the game at this point, when they might still get trapped in the fade or turned into paste or something. and admittedly they did know and dread the possibilities from the first moment they felt something for lucanis, which was why they so wanted it to be anyone else, because anyone else in that lighthouse could have given them a different world, and he is the one who regardless of his best or worst intentions can only tie them tighter to a burning building. and SURE, i see the solas/mythal breakup parallels of sol still leaving, iâm looking at them, that doesnât mean i have to LIKE them
he hasnât even kissed them. theyâre doing all of this unkissed. lucanis dellamorte when i get you
again please absolutely do not respond to any of this with even the vaguest of hints if you know more about the rest of the game than me đ itâs probably best if no-one responds to this at all lmao i am just thinking out loud. you can reply with a âthatâs rough buddy��. for sol
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Hiya! I'm CatboyBiologist.
The unfiltered, unhinged side of @hi-sierra. I'm doing a quick pinned post refresh, especially in light of the recent US elections.
I'm a transgender woman, outdoors enthusiast, and PhD student in molecular bio living on the West coast of the US. I post a lot of vain selfies and thirst traps:
I'm known for tgirl tummy tuesdays, shower coffee, weirdass rambling shitposts, my tortoise, bisexual meltdowns, being an angry tranny, making my ADHD everyone else's problem, and talking about hiking/backpacking more than I actually do it. This blog is my main one, and is an unfiltered stream of information.
But I'm slowly trying to do a little more than that. I've been trying to do SOMETHING related to science communication for a while now, and never had the time or mental spoons to do so. Now, with recent political situations, not only am I more fired up than ever to get those off the ground, but I might actually do it in a more "official" capacity related to my research. Stay tuned- but also, if you happen to know any specific people/organizations that might accept quick blurb writings about being trans in biology, lmk!
If you want to DM me, tag me, drop an ask, for whatever reason, feel free to! This includes any and all tummyposting. Do be aware, however, that I try to keep this blog SFW, and will use my discretion on what to reblog or answer. On the flip side of that, however, I often get close to the limits of SFW here, so if you're uncomfortable with that or a minor, you have been warned.
I have a ko-fi, and donations are greatly appreciated. I'm currently trying to raise some money for the $430 court fee I'll have to pay to get my name legally changed, which I'm trying to do before we have a Republican president and congress.
Tortoise tax:
Misc links under cut, including my other profiles and posts I want to highlight.
Why and how should you store a little extra HRT?
Active accounts elsewhere:
Reddit
Instagram
Bluesky
Previous pin with link to all my other previous pins
#abusing tags I use often#trans#trans selfie#transgender#tgirl tummy tuesday#trans woman#tgirl tummy#cute trans#midriff#tortoise
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Block Tales Predictions & Headcanons Because This is my New Hyperfixation
Predictions
So the next sword is 100% the Firebrand. And what better fire level is there than an active volcano? I believe the next demo will open up the docks & we're gonna be sailing to a tropical, volcanic island for the Firebrand.
Added with that, I believe we'll meet the ship captain mentioned by Mayor Monty (can't for the life of me remember the name rn), as he'll be the one to sail us across.
I also believe that this Chapter or maybe the Windforce one will be weilded by Kyoko's sister, since Kyoko's dialogue in Chapter 3 hints that at the very least something is going wrong with her.
On the UnkownSpaceGuy Youtube channel - the channel that uploads both demo trailers & the OST - there's a track listed called Space Battle. While some might think the background & track are misdirects, considering the Weird Battle OST teased enemies from Chapter 3 well before it was implemented, I think it's possible this could also be hinting at future content. Specifically, I believe the Chapter taking place on the moon will either be the Darkheart or Illumina one.
Once the game is finished, there'll be a New Game+ mode where you can actually have the chance to beat Terry at the beginning of the game.
Headcanons
~Cruel King~
Dude needs a different moniker than "Cruel King" because that is a misnomer and a half. So, unless he's given an official name, his given name will be Rex to me.
His favorite foods include warm drinks like hot chocolate & coffee and frozen desserts, especially ice cream.
His favorite ice cream flavor is strawberry.
He likes Mexican cuisine but it also destroys him.
Had a German Shepherd when he was growing up.
~Griefer~
While Mayor Thaniyel is mostly right about Brad not being 100% like that before the influence of the sword, he still was a bit of a little shit. It's just that Thaniyel didn't see most of it and it was mostly relegated to online games/forums.
Despite what his soda addiction may lead you to believe, he really likes fresh fruits, apples being a particular favorite.
Likes sherbet & sorbet more than ice cream.
Really likes spicy food. Man would fuck up a bag of Flammin' Hot Cheetos & puts jalapenos on everything he can.
It is often said that the highest honor one can give a fictional character is to headcanon them your personal lived experiences and traumas. Thusly, Griefer has mommy issues. Undecided whether I prefer her being kind of a bad mom or if she simply wasn't around when Brad was growing up.
Big fan of Pokemon. Favorite Gen is 3, both in terms of the Gens in 2010 and all Generations to modern day. Favorite starter is Treeko, though Grooky would be a close second.
~Greed, Solitude, & Fear~
I like to group these three together as The Vices.
Greed is a bit of a fashionista, keeping up to date on the latest trends.
Greed likes carbonated drinks. Particularly, they like champagne.
If Greed were to order a steak, they'd order it Blue.
Solitude gets uncomfortable in large crowds. A large crowd to Solitude is more than 2 people.
It's difficult to tell at any given moment if Solitude is concentrating really hard on something that caught their attention or if they're just disassociating.
A picnic in the park might not fix Fear, but it would do a whole lot to improve their mental state.
Fear's favorite foods include fruity drinks/juices, comfort food, and baked goods.
Fear's favorite colors are dark blue and dark green.
Despite them literally being the embodiment of fear (or perhaps because of that), Fear is fiercely protective over those they care about. Can't have courage without fear after all.
#roblox#block tales#roblox block tales#blocktales#cruel king#cruel king block tales#griefer blocktales#griefer block tales#greed block tales#solitude block tales#fear block tales#headcanon#my headcanons
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Alex is down bad for you (gn!farmer)
Note: Got this idea from @sagegotthesauce
TW: none
Masterlist
Alex is handsome, tall and strong and can be incredibly charming when he wants to. So obviously he thought it would be an easy thing to leave an especially good first impression on the hot new farmer when they walked over to introduce themselves. Just that it wasn't easy at all.
"You're the new-? Cool. Yeah. Alex." Wait what the fuck was that? Why the fuck did his breath get caught in his throat when he tried to speak to you? Maybe next time he will do better
His strength is...well, his strength. It's an important asset of his so naturally he tries to catch your attention by lifting weights infront of his house. He sees you by Pierre's or close to the Saloon? The dumbbells and weights are out the same second he lays his eyes on you and then he acts as if he doesn't notice you at all while grunting in an exaggerated way just to make you look at him
Alex craves to have a proper conversation with you, but so far you've only ever greeted him. The most you've said to him was when you introduced yourself. Normally he doesn't struggle with talking to someone he likes, but with you he finds himself to be nervous for the first time since...well...forever
The day he finds you alone at the beach during summer is like a gift from the heavens. With his gridball tugged under his arm, he confidently walks over to you and suggests to play catch. That way he can impress you with his athletic skills. Unfortunately you don't seem too into it and you don't even try to catch the ball which leads to you guys not really playing any catch
Nevertheless, you still tell him that you believe he would make a great gridball player. You might have just said that to be polite, but when I tell you that his growing crush for you makes him absolutely delusional. It definitely gets to his head and he wants, no, needs more. Any sort of compliment or praise leaving your sweet lips is like throwing treats at a dog
You start to live in his mind rent-free faster than he anticipated. His mind goes to you first thing in the moment and he has a mental picture of you in his head when he falls asleep. Hell, you even visit him in his dreams regularly and when that happens he wakes up with a lovestruck grin on his face
Whenever Evelyn mentions that she wants to send you her famous cookies over mail, Alex jumps to his feet. Why send it when he can walk over to your farm by himself?
Then one day you gift him an egg! From one of your chickens! What a time to be alive. Alex doesn't know if he should eat it or keep it, because it's something you gave him. He knows he can't keep it around forever though
Haley makes fun of him over the fact that he's so obviously head over heels for you. I mean, he is acting kinda pathetic with the way his eyes don't leave you for a second the moment you enter his vision or the way he oh so desperately begs asks for your attention. You're also the only thing he ever talks about nowadays
But then you do the unthinkable and ask him to be your partner for the flower dance! Oh, he doesn't know how to react. Alex feels like his heart is going to jump out of his chest and he's trying so hard to act all cool, but he's a mess. While he stares at you with a lovey-dovey look, he only manages a hasty nod, accompanied by a side-eye from Haley of course
It's so adorable how he messes up almost every single step of the dance. The same dance he's been participating in for years now and which steps he can usually perform in his sleep. Do you notice how nervous and excited he is? He's really hoping that you don't. Hell, he's even sending silent prayers to Yoba
"Hey, so I thought that uh you'd maybe wanna hang out? With me? Alone?" Just play it cool, Alex. You might have fucked that up on an ungodly level, but you gotta own it now. Wing it, man. "Like a date? I'd love to!"
He short circuits, blinks a couple times and is working hard to process your answer. You wanna go? With him? I mean, that is exactly the result he was hoping for when he was practicing this shit infront of the bathroom mirror, but he genuinely didn't think he'd get that far. Not with you. Not with the way he has been embarrassing himself infront of you the past months
He books a separate room at the saloon and everything is planned out up until the tiniest detail. Nothing could possibly go wrong. Well, unless he's acting like a desperate and pathetic fool again which he normally does when you're in his proximity
And holy shit it's so easy to talk to you? Don't get me wrong, he's still so fucking nervous and so fucking ready to roll out the red carpet for you just for showing up, but you're also such an easy going person. You two basically click immediately which you thought was the case a long time ago already, but he only now properly experiences this. In the past conversations you two have shared, Alex was always too busy not to seem like a complete looser
At the end of the date he of course walks you home like the gentleman he is. Your hands brush against each other during that and everytime that happens it sends jolts of electricity through his arm right into his chest where is heart is beating like crazy
You stop at your front door where you bless him with a smile and place your warm hand on his chest. This man is on cloud 9 and feels like he could fly away this instant. Then you completely rock his world by putting your lips, the same ones he's been daydreaming about 24/7, on his and he fights back a sigh. The butterflies are having a rave in his stomach right now
#stardew valley#sdv#sdv headcanons#stardew valley headcanons#sdv alex#sdv alex x reader#stardew valley alex x reader#stardew valley alex#sdv x reader#stardew valley x reader
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Why is Azriel so "different"?On Dusk, Hel and the Valg...
This post was written for @azrielappreciationweek Days 1, 2 and 3: Cool Quiet, Scarred and Belonging
Disclaimer: the following is only a theory which, as usual, makes no claim of being canon. It's LONG, even though I've almost certainly forgotten to add some thoughts I've misplaced. I'm sorry, but by the time I realised how stupidly long it would be I cbf splitting it up into smaller posts, so... no offence taken if this gets chucked into the too-hard basket.
My thanks, as always, go out to the lovely @wingedblooms, @ladynightcourt3 (the queen of quotes), @silverlinedeyes, @psychologynerd, @elrieldreamer, @cassianfanclub @shitwillnotbegiven, and anyone else who has helped me process my thoughts along the way. đ
Spoilers: the entire Maasverse is referenced, reader beware.
One theory that seems to be (mostly lol) accepted across the fandom is that Azriel, the shadowsinger of Prythian's Night Court, may be more than simply Illyrian. Back in 2021, before reading the Crescent City series, I had wondered whether he might be descended from the Dusk Court (here, here and here), but after HOSAB was published - and then HOFAS especially - I had other thoughts. This post is just incredibly fucking belated.
Firstly, what evidence do we have to suggest that Azriel is different?
Quite a bit, in my opinion. From the moment Feyre met Azriel back in ACOMAF, there have been hints that, even beyond his seven siphons, he is not your average Illyrian warrior. That he may, in fact, be significantly different even to Rhys and Cassian.
As we can see, Feyre felt his otherness right from the start.
But the second male, the more classically beautiful of the two ⌠Even the light shied from the elegant planes of his face. With good reason. Beautiful, but near-unreadable. Heâd be the one to look out forâthe knife in the dark. Indeed, an obsidian-hilted hunting knife was sheathed at his thigh, its dark scabbard embossed with a line of silver runes Iâd never seen before. Rhys said, âThis is Azrielâmy spymaster.â Not surprising. Some buried instinct had me checking that my mental shields were intact. Just in case. - ACOMAF, chapter 16
Now, there's a lot to unpack in that brief passage - and I aim to do so over the course of this post - but let's begin with Feyre's instinct to ward against Azriel; a reaction that was unique to him. This was followed by further suggestions that Azriel is not purely Illyrian throughout the rest of the series, some of which are quite blatant.
Cassian finished his laughing. âIllyrians are certainly not High Fae. And glad of it.â He hooked his black hair behind an earârounded; as mine had once been. âAnd weâre not lesser faeries, though some try to call us that. Weâre justâIllyrians. Considered expendable aerial cavalry for the Night Court at the best of times, mindless soldier grunts at the worst.â âWhich is most of the time,â Azriel clarified. I didnât dare ask if those shadows were a part of being Illyrian, too. - ACOMAF, chapter 16
"You'll get used to itâthe wording," he said. Clinging to him so tightly, I couldn't see his face. I watched the light shift inside the sapphire Siphon instead, as if it were the great eye of some half-slumbering beast from a frozen wasteland. "I don't really know where I fit in any- more," I admitted, perhaps only because the wind was screeching around us and Rhys had already winnowed ahead to where Cassian's dark form flew-beyond the wall. "I've been alive almost five and a half centuries, and I'm not sure of that, either," Azriel said. - ACOMAF, chapter 22
Azriel just shook his head. "I'll go. The Prison sentries know meâwhat I am." - ACOWAR, chapter 16
I was rasping for breath, sweat sliding down my spine, by the time he said, "Good." He cleared his throat. "I know you're not Illyrian, but amongst their kind, it is considered inappropriate to touch someone's wings without permission. Especially females." Their kind. Not his. - ACOWAR, chapter 19
One glance at Azrielâs unreadable face and I added, âDonât bother to answer that.â A corner of Azrielâs mouth curled up, the shadows about him sliding over his neck like living tattoos, twins to the Illyrian ones marked beneath his leathers. Shadows different from anything my powers summoned, spoke to. Born in a lightless, airless prison meant to break him. Instead, he had learned its language. Though the cobalt Siphons were proof that his Illyrian heritage ran true, even the rich lore of that warrior-people, my warrior-people, did not have an explanation for where the shadowsinger gifts came from. They certainly werenât connected to the Siphons, to the raw killing power most Illyrians possessed and channeled through the stones to keep from destroying everything in its path. The bearer included. - ACOFAS, chapter 7
"Azriel can winnow all the time, though." "Az is different. In a lot of ways." His tone didn't invite further questioning. - ACOSF, chapter 16
He left the rest unspoken. Because her mate was here, sleeping a level up. Because her mate had been in the family room and Azriel had needed to stay by the door the whole time because he couldn't stand the sight of it, the scent of their mating bond, and needed to have the option of leaving if it became too much. - ACOSF, Azriel's Bonus Chapter
There was even a hint or two about Azriel's possible Starborn heritage in HOFAS, thanks to Bryce.
âWhat have you done?â Azriel rasped, and Bryce twisted to find him on his feet, wings tucked in, Nesta leaning against him as if wounded, Ataraxia dangling from her grip. The male now held the Starsword at the ready, Truth-Teller gripped in his other hand. He must have had some sort of Starborn blood in him, thenâa distant ancestor, maybe. Or maybe his possession of the knife somehow allowed him to also bear the Starsword. - HOFAS, chapter 24
Obviously Azriel is still Illyrian, I don't know anybody who disputes that in a non-crack theory manner, but it seems likely to me that he's also something moreš. All of the above hints about his shadowsinging powers, his own feelings of otherness to his people, and - potentially² - his ability to smell the Elucien bond as Lanthys did Nessian, the fact that we have yet to meet his mother? Is it simple coincidence, or intentional hints?
I could definitely be wrong, but I'm choosing the latter.
š "More" as in quantity, not quality. This is by no means a diss at Cassian or Rhys.
² To be fair, the true mate theory could also explain this; by the point in ACOSF that Nesta and Cassian met Lanthys they'd already been intimate, even if their bond was not yet "accepted."
The Dusk Court
As mentioned above - here, here, and here - I've been wondering for a long while if Azriel could be connected to the Dusk Court (or what remains of it).
I'd even started a meta on it, one of many that I lost track of and then never got around to finishing because my magpie brain latched onto other shiny theories or books, but the gist of it was that Azriel's mother (or, more likely imo, a distant female relative, such as his grandmother) hailed from Dusk. Given I thought the Hewn City/Court of Nightmares was the Dusk Court acting as a sub court to the Night Court, I had written an entire spiel about how one of Lord Thanatos' troublesome daughters may have been this female ancestor who fell in love and had a child with an Illyrian warrior who died prematurely, leaving her with nothing (not even a family who would take her back, because Hewn City bullshit amiright? Especially if she was unable to have further children after birthing a winged child), and that we hadn't met Azriel's mother yet because she might have spoilery traits like small/different wings or her own shadows. I went a lot deeper - funnily enough, my thoughts actually mirrored quite a bit of Hunt's mother's relationship with the father he never met (HOFAS, chapter 61) - and even wondered if this was partly why the Darkbringers and Illyrian soldiers disliked each other in ACOWAR... but those are the basics.
HOSAB then gave a different sort of importance to Lord Thanatos, but I don't think it necessarily precludes my original theory being right somehow, especially as "daughter" might be used as loosely as "son" was by Apollion in HOFAS, to mean that some power was donated for their creation. Even now, I still suspect Azriel may have hidden - or even corrupted - Starborn powers, which should indicate some minimum level of Dusk-based heritage.
While we now know the Made blades can be wielded by the Starborn - descendants of the Dusk Court - in addition to Made faeries such as Elain Archeron, I always suspected that Truth-Teller was much more important than we knew from the start (and I know I'm not the only one intrigued by the blade). After reading Crescent City, the parallels between Azriel's and Ruhn's almost guardianship of their respective magical blades until a female characterÂł came along to activate their power seemed to be significant (though of course with Elain it's still hypothetical, as we haven't had her POV yet).
Âł Bryce may have been Theia's magical heir (though I suspect it may be through Ember rather than Einar), but she lives on Midgard - an entirely different planet. While the Archeron sisters may (or may not) spring from more humble beginnings than Fae royalty, imo they do share some notable parallels with Bryce and Theia herself. I discussed those in this post after HOSAB came out; since reading HOFAS, I suspect the Archeron sisters will grow to, as a unit, replace the Starborn magic that Bryce took, leaving Prythian unguarded. The power of three will set the land free, so to speak.
But back to Azriel. We know that Ruhn Danaan - the shadowy male who claimed the Starsword/Gwydion until a female associated with light came along and was able to activate its magic... sounds familiar, huh - is a Starborn prince who can wield shadows, and has some powers that appear similar to Az (shadow walking and mind speaking), though imo it may have been suggested that his light - aka Pelias' light - might be considered corrupt by Rigelus (while posing as Aidas).
Is Azriel's light magic corrupted as well?
âYou knew the last Starborn Queen?â Ruhn asked. Starlight glinted among Ruhnâs shadows, shimmering down the length of his sword. Aidasâs eyes now flared with a strange sort of rage as he looked upon the Fae Prince. âI did. And I knew the sniveling prince whose light you bear.â A ripple of stunned silence went through the room. [...] âTheia was dead by that point,â Aidas said flatly. âPelias slew her.â He nodded to the Starsword in Ruhnâs hand. âAnd stole her blade when heâd finished.â He snarled. âThat sword belongs to Theiaâs female heir. Not the male offspring who corrupted her line.â - HOSAB, chapter 15
Morvenâs shadows gathered at his fingers, his shoulders. Wild, angry shadows that Ruhnâs own balked to meet. They seemed corrupted somehow, like those Seamus and Duncan wielded mentally. âYou are Starborn. You have an obligation to our people.â - HOFAS, chapter 51
Further, Cormac and Morven Donnall are both Starborn and Avallen faeries, with "wild" shadows that seem to more closely mirror Azriel's own.
âHow the hell did you manage to survive this long without anyone killing you?â Cassian tipped back his head and laughed, a full, rich sound that bounced off the ruddy stones of the House. Azrielâs brows flicked up with approval as the shadows seemed to wrap tighter around him. As if he were the dark hive from which they flew and returned. - ACOMAF, chapter 16
Azriel nodded his agreement, his shadows twining around him. Most of the camp women had ducked into their homes when heâd appeared. - ACOWAR, chapter 18
She set down her teacup. âIs that a threat, Shadowsinger?â Cassian took a long drink from his own tea. Drained it to the dregs. Azriel said coolly, âI donât need to resort to threats.â The shadows coiled around him, snakes ready to strike. - ACOSF, chapter 8
Azriel nodded his agreement, his shadows twining around him. Most of the camp women had ducked into their homes when heâd appeared. - ACOFAS, chapter 26
The thought was ⌠not comforting. But neither were the shadows that curled like snakes around the king, wild and twining. A coiled crown of them sat atop Morvenâs dark head, blacker than the Pit. - HOFAS, chapter 47
Without delving into the "why" of their wildness - was it the magical imbalance of the chained land that led to their wilder shadows, their prolonged proximity to an incredibly strong thin place (the obsidian or mists), was their line intentionally corrupted by a high power as Prythian's Cauldron was, or do they potentially have ties to demons, or the princes of Hel themselves? - it's not implausible to suggest that Azriel could also hail from the Starborn Fae of the Dusk Court, same as Rhys.
That being said, I think Hel will also play a part...
Prince of Hel
As I suggested in this reblog of @nikethestatue's post from way back when, I've been eyeing off one Lord Thanatos of the Hewn City (and his wayward, troublesome daughters) for a while. So when SJM dropped the bomb in HOSAB that the Prince of the Ravine, the soul eater, was called Thanatos, I was basically shaking my feet and screaming internally.
Because it had to be the same being, right? Right?!
I know I'm not the only one who noted the use of Thanatos' name, as others across the fandom have since suggested that Azriel may be related to the princes of Hel, or even be one himself... and as I've said before, I would not be surprised if this was the case (actually, at this point I would be shocked if Azriel wasn't related to the Hel Princes in some way, especially after what we learnt of Hunt's ancestry in HOFAS).
âFine,â Hunt cut in. âGreat, weâre protected.â He eyed the Prince of the Pit. His very bones shook, but he forced himself past his fear, his dread. âWhat the fuck did you mean by calling me son?â Thanatos scoffed. âYou are no son of his.â He yanked off his war helmet, cradling it under an arm. âIf anything, you are mine.â Huntâs knees buckled. âWhat?â [...] âBecause the Princes of Hel cannot be contained by the black crowns. The Asteri learned thatâit was their downfall. As you were made by Helâs princes, it should not be able to hold you.â Made by them? By these fuckers? - HOFAS, chapter 59
âCan we please rewind for a moment?â Bryce cut in. âYou guys made the thunderbirds to complement my power��in case I never got the sword and knife, and if I ever needed a boost to open the Rift. But when they were hunted down, you ⌠made Hunt, and then I was born âŚâ âAthalar was already enslaved by then,â Aidas said, âbut we kept a close watch.â Apollion nodded to Hunt. âWhy do you think youâre so adept at hunting demons? Itâs in your bloodâpart of me is in your blood.â Nausea clawed its way up Huntâs throat. The thought of owing anything at all to the Prince of the Pit ⌠âJust as he gave over some of his essence for the kristallos,â Thanatos said, âso he gave something to me for you. His Helfire.â âHelfire?â Bryce demanded. âThe lightning,â Thanatos said, waving an irritated hand. âCapable of killing almost anything. Even an Asteri.â âThatâs how you killed Sirius?â Bryce asked. âWith your ⌠Helfire?â âYes,â Apollion said, then added to Hunt, âYour name was a nod to that, whispered in your motherâs ear as you were born. Orion ⌠master of Sirius.â âClever,â Hunt snapped, then demanded, âWaitâmy lightning can kill the Asteri?â Hope bloomed, bright and beautiful in his chest. âNo,â Apollion said. âIt is ⌠diluted from my own. It could harm them, but not kill them. I believe your motherâs angelic blood tempered my power.â - HOFAS, chapter 61
âYour father knew your mother briefly,â Aidas said. âAnd he knew having a partner would help lift her from her poverty. He had every intention of staying. Of leaving behind his life and raising you in secret.â Hunt could barely ask, âWhat happened?â âThe mystics told Rigelus of your fatherâs connection to us. They didnât discover everythingânothing about you or your mother. Only that he had been speaking to us. Rigelus had him brought in, tortured, and executed.â Huntâs heart stalled. âHe didnât break,â Apollion said with something like kindness. âHe never mentioned your mother, or her pregnancy. The Asteri never knew you were tied to him in any way.â - HOFAS, chapter 61
Bryce squeezed his knee, her hand so warmâor was he unnaturally cold? âOkay, so Hunt was made to be a backup battery for meââ âCan I do the same for Ruhn, then?â Hunt interrupted. âNo,â Thanatos said. âThe princeâs light, his affinity for these thin places, isnât strong enough. Not like hers.â Hunt gripped Bryceâs hand atop his knee. âIs it in my DNA that Bryce and I are mates? Was that engineered, too?â âNo,â Aidas said quickly, âthat was never intended. I think that was left to higher powers. Whatever they may be.â Hunt turned to Bryce and found nothing but love in her eyes. He couldnât stand it. Horror cracked through him, as chilled as hoarfrost. Heâd been created by these males to give and to suffer, and where the fuck did that leave him? Who the fuck did that make him? âOkay,â Bryce said, âHelfire and starfire: a potent combination. But Helena left all this shit to help end this conflict. It sounds like you guys just want me to open a gods-damned door for you to come in and save the day instead.â - HOFAS, chapter 61
Thanatos used some of Apollion's helfire (lightning) to create Hunt as a weapon for Bryce, so it stands to reason that he may have done something similar in the Hewn City/Court of Nightmares that eventually resulted in Azriel, possibly with a different Prince of Hel - was it Koschei, or even himself - leaving "poisoned honey" on Prythian in case the Daglan/Asteri ever regained power? Feyre once referred to Azriel as a "dark hive," and we now know that he often helped Cassian to hunt down monstrous creatures like Blue Annis... could this be why? Does he have a natural talent for it, like Hunt? Was Az also created for a specific purpose?
I've been on the "Azriel and Elain are carranam" train from the time I joined the fandom, and since then I really do think that the three brothers and three sisters will act as paired conduits to save their world, as I mentioned in my third note above. In addition to the parallels I've noted between the Archeron sisters and Bryce (and Theia), Elain and Az shared a "charged" glance in ACOSF.
Nesta shook her head slowly, not understanding. Elain just linked her arm through Nestaâs and led her toward the family room, where Azriel stood in the doorway, monitoring them. As if heâd heard Elainâs sharp laugh and wondered what had caused it. âI was just checking on dessert,â Elain explained as they approached the doorway and Azriel. Nesta met the shadowsingerâs stare and he gave her a nod. Then his gaze shifted to Elain, and though it was utterly neutral, something charged went through it. Between them. Elainâs breath caught slightly, and she gave him a shallow nod of greeting before brushing past, leading Nesta into the room. - ACOSF, chapter 58
The very first book of the ACOTAR series confirmed that magic can appear as a charge in Prythian...
I opened my mouth to again ask him for his name, but a growl of annoyance rippled out of him. I didnât have a chance to struggle, to fight back, when a charged, metallic tang stung my nose. Exhaustion slammed down upon me and blackness swallowed me whole. [...] I awoke with a jolt atop the horse, secured by invisible bonds. The sun was already high. Magicâthatâs what the tang had been, what was keeping my limbs tucked in tight, preventing me from going for my knife. - ACOTAR, chapter 5
And then HOFAS gave us this - Azriel learning that he can charge up a Starborn Fae. A point that was so important to make that SJM ignored - or had reasons we are yet to learn - the fact that Azriel could have winnowed the three of them across the gap himself. Curious, given how she made doubly sure we knew how "different" Az was in ACOSF.
But Bryce frowned deeply at Azriel. âDo you ever use that power to, uh, charge people up?â âCharge?â âFuel. Um. Give your power to someone else to help their power.â âAre you implying that I could do such a thing to you?â âIâm pretty sure the concept of a battery wonât have much meaning here, but yeah. My magic can be amplified by someone elseâs power.â The other untranslatable wordâbatteryâlay heavy on her tongue. But Nesta looked her over. âFor what purpose?â âSo I can teleport.â Another word that didnât translate. âWinnow.â She pointed to the other side of the divide. âI could winnow us over there.â - HOFAS, chapter 16
Obviously there's always the possibility that SJM simply wrote that Azriel didn't winnow because A) he didn't want to expose any further facets of his magic unnecessarily to a Fae he had no reason to trust, or B) he wanted to see what Bryce could do, but what if it was C) that he lacked the strength to winnow at the time, as @ladynightcourt3 has so brilliantly thought? Because potentially, if light can blind an Oracle - one who may or may not use the murky realm of the Void to See - then there's a possibility that their growing proximity to the power chained deep in the land, or even Vesperus herself, may have made Azriel less able to see where he was going with his shadows to safely winnow them. Or was it that, similarly to whatever bond that exists between Elain and Lucien becoming too much for Azriel to bear, maybe the singing between Gwydion and Truth-Teller was distracting him?
As an aside, furthering the parallel between Hunt and Bryce that I noted earlier, I think the following passages support the idea that Azriel may be able to charge Elain, or that Elain can charge him as well, in addition to suggesting that he may be able to sense minds, or enter some that are more susceptible.
And what Hybern would do to Elain, might already be doingâ From the shadows near the entrance to the tent, Azriel said, as if in answer to some unspoken debate, âIâm getting her back.â Nesta slid her gaze to the shadowsinger. Azrielâs hazel eyes glowed golden in the shadows. Nesta said, âThen you will die.â Azriel only repeated, rage glazing that stare, âIâm getting her back.â - ACOWAR, chapter 64
Azriel slid back the curtainâ Elain was in her nightgown. Gagged, wrists wrapped in steel that glowed violet. Her eyes went wide as she saw usâAzriel and meâ I shifted my face back into my own, raising a hand to my lips as Azriel knelt before her. I kept up my litany of praying, beseeching the Cauldron to make my womb fruitful, on and onâ Azriel gently removed the gag from her mouth. âAre you hurt?â She shook her head, devouring the sight of him as if not quite believing it. âYou came for me.â The shadowsinger only inclined his head. âHurry,â I whispered, then resumed my prayer. We had until it ran out. - ACOWAR, chapter 65
Azrielâs power gave out on the outskirts of our camp. The girl, despite the burns and lashings on her moon-white skin, was able to walk. The gray light of morning had broken over the world, mist clinging to our ankles as we headed into that camp, Azriel still cradling Elain to his chest. He dripped blood behind him the entire timeâa trickle compared to the torrent that should be leaking out. Contained only by the patches of power heâd slapped on it. Helpâhe needed a healer immediately. - ACOWAR, chapter 65
Azriel didnât give Rhys a chance to reconsider. Didnât say good-bye to any of us. He shot into the sky, those still-healing wings beating hard as they carried him toward the scrambling northern flank. - ACOWAR, chapter 71
Elainâs mouth twitched into a smile. "Nesta wouldn't appreciate the joke.â He offered her a smile back. "I wasn't sure if I should give you your present." He left the rest unspoken. Because her mate was here, sleeping a level up. Because her mate had been in the family room and Azriel had needed to stay by the door the whole time because he couldn't stand the sight of it, the scent of their mating bond, and needed to have the option of leaving if it became too much. Elain's large brown eyes flickered, well aware of all that. Just as he knew she was well aware of why Azriel so rarely came to family dinners these days. - ACOSF, Azriel's bonus chapter
Bryce squeezed his knee, her hand so warmâor was he unnaturally cold? âOkay, so Hunt was made to be a backup battery for meââ âCan I do the same for Ruhn, then?â Hunt interrupted. âNo,â Thanatos said. âThe princeâs light, his affinity for these thin places, isnât strong enough. Not like hers.â - HOFAS, chapter 61
We know that Elain likely shares that strong affinity for thin places, as may Az. Feyre mentioned the gray light of morning, mist around their ankles. Does this make them the ideal conduits for each other, as Hunt and Bryce were? As Feyre and Rhys - and, I suspect, Nesta and Cassian - are? Are they all meant to be "weapons" against a long, deeply sleeping foe?
Finally, let's revisit the first passage I mentioned at the top of this post, when Feyre first met Azriel:
But the second male, the more classically beautiful of the two ⌠Even the light shied from the elegant planes of his face. With good reason. Beautiful, but near-unreadable. Heâd be the one to look out forâthe knife in the dark. Indeed, an obsidian-hilted hunting knife was sheathed at his thigh, its dark scabbard embossed with a line of silver runes Iâd never seen before. Rhys said, âThis is Azrielâmy spymaster.â Not surprising. Some buried instinct had me checking that my mental shields were intact. Just in case. - ACOMAF, chapter 16
Hunt stilled. There was only one being whose name was not uttered in Midgard. The Prince of the Pit. Apollion. His blood chilled. This was a fucked-up, weird-ass dream, no doubt caused by Quinlan literally blowing his mind into smithereensâ âIt is no dream.â The seventh and most lethal of the demon princes of Hel was in his mindâ âI am not in your mind, though your thoughts ripple toward me like your worldâs radio waves. You and I are in a place between our worlds. A pocket-realm, as it were.â âWhat do you want?â Huntâs voice held steady, butâfuck. He needed to get out of here, to find some way back to Bryce. If the Prince of the Pit could get into Huntâs mind, thenâ âIf I went into her mind, my brother would be very angry with me. Again.â Hunt could have sworn he heard a smile in the princeâs voice. âYou certainly worry a great deal about a female who is far safer than you at the moment.â - HOSAB, chapter 21
âDuring my time with Theia, Helena was a quiet girl, but she always listened.â âYou spoke too much,â Thanatos snapped. Aidas ignored him. âHelena learned black salt would allow her to commune with us while protecting her mind and her soul.â - HOFAS, chapter 59
Given the princes of Hel were fathered by the Void - Apollion, the Prince of the Pit, said he resides in true darkness and has the ability to enter minds - and mothered by Chaos (who is possibly Wyrd?â´), that they are attracted by obsidian (the material from which Truth-Teller's hilt is made), who may or may not use wyrdmarks that might match the runes on Truth-Teller's hilt (post on this to come), who appear to be able to use a black salt-induced dream state to communicate across worlds with their minds... it seems a little more than coincidental to me that Feyre would think to protect her mind from Azriel.
â´ A personal crack theory that I'd love to be true - I think the eight pointed star may be Urd/Wyrd's or Chaos' symbol: a Chaos star. @wingedblooms has discussed Wyrd and Chaos here and here.
I once noted Azriel's similarities to Koschei, who can send his whispers on the wind, twisting distant minds to do his bidding. If Koschei is a prince of Hel - the sixth prince, of the Abyss? - could he have contributed towards Azriel's creation, either directly, or through the making of a female ancestor? Azriel has the ability to speak the language of shadow, wind and stone, which could plausibly tie in with Koschei as a hell prince: void, wind and obsidian. Or if it was Thanatos - the eater of souls - does this affect Azriel's ability to sense others around him, as Rhys once suggested? We know he's capable of using his shadows to read people. Was Azriel's existence, intentional or not, a secret like Hunt's?
Or to be completely cracked, is Azriel actually the heir to a currently empty throne in Hel?
Elide asked Lorcan, âDo youâdo you feel any different?â The lack of the gods whoâd watched over them. Lorcan peered up at the trees overhead, as if reading the answer in their entangled branches. As if searching for Hellas there. âNo,â he admitted. âWhat does it mean,â Gavriel mused, the first rays of sun beginning to gild his golden hair, âfor them to be gone? Is there a hell-realm whose throne now sits vacant?â âItâs too early for that sort of philosophical bullshit,â Fenrys said... - KOA, chapter 101
Whatever is going on here, please consider me still all aboard the Azriel is related to the Princes of Hel train until told otherwise by SJM. Choo Choo!
The Valg
Moving on from the princes of Hel, many of the fandom - myself included - are desperate to know exactly how Aidas and his brothers may be related to the Valg, a race of demons we met in SJM's 'Throne of Glass' series. Are they the same as, or simply related to each other? Did Hel's princes - or possibly Void and Chaos - create the Valg as well, or did the Valg just evolve naturally on the planet that is Hel, eventually turning it cold and barren? I know some in the fandom have drawn parallels between Rhys and Maeve, and theorised that he may be partly Valg, which would be such a twist if true! I'd love it.
But more than all of that, I want to know what Azriel may have to do with the Valg. Because in addition to my suspicions that the King of Hybern may have been infected by a Valg/Valg-type being (and that Elain assassinating him with a sunlight charged Truth-Teller was akin to Yrene healing Erawan out of existence), I have been wondering about Azriel and his shadows for years. I know I've suggested that Koschei could be a prince of Hel, but I also think there's a chance he could be Valg. I outlined in this post, where I wondered if Koschei was once known as Fionn - yes, I can see there's a pattern forming here, thanks đ - if he had once loaned magic to the King of Hybern, who had "hateful black eyes" and a "galaxy" in his palm, in order for Hybern to be powerful enough to orchestrate a scenario that Koschei was unable to himself, given he's trapped at his lake; considering this possibility in the context of the Valg existing in Prythian, and that Koschei may be one of them, it could mean that Koschei himself, or a loyal Valg prince, was possessing Hybern's king; a pawn until he was no longer required.
As I mentioned earlier, there are significant parallels between Azriel and Koschei that should not be ignored, especially if Koschei ends up being his magical ancestor in some way. In addition to this, Azriel's history and habits are intriguing when laid out next to what we know of the Valg as a species. Although, given the similarities between the Princes of Hel and the Valg, much of the following could indicate some sort of link to either species (that's assuming they're actually different, of course).
The Valg's true form involves a smokey, shadowy aura, while Azriel is a shadowsinger, described as a "dark hive" from where his shadows originated.
Cassian tipped back his head and laughed, a full, rich sound that bounced off the ruddy stones of the House. Azrielâs brows flicked up with approval as the shadows seemed to wrap tighter around him. As if he were the dark hive from which they flew and returned. I tried not to shudder and faced Rhys, hoping for an explanation about his spymasterâs dark gifts. Rhysâs face was blank, but his eyes were wary. Assessing. I almost demanded what the hell he was looking at, until Mor breezed onto the balcony with, âIf Cassianâs howling, I hope it means Feyre told him to shut his fat mouth.â - ACOMAF, chapter 16
While a Valg's possession of someone's body is often confirmed through their unnaturally black eyes, it's interesting that Erilea's witches - who are half Valg and half fae - are increasingly prized the more golden their eyes are. Though Azriel's eyes are naturally hazel, a colour which often contains flecks of gold, they have notably glowed golden before. @psychologynerd and I have both discussed the possibility that Azriel could be a witch; this could be another indication of his hypothetical Valg ancestry.
And what Hybern would do to Elain, might already be doingâ From the shadows near the entrance to the tent, Azriel said, as if in answer to some unspoken debate, âIâm getting her back.â Nesta slid her gaze to the shadowsinger. Azrielâs hazel eyes glowed golden in the shadows. Nesta said, âThen you will die.â Azriel only repeated, rage glazing that stare, âIâm getting her back.â - ACOWAR, chapter 64
The Valg fear fire so much they attempted to wipe out Aelin's entire flame-wielding family.
Credit for the observation goes to @ladynightcourt3 but Azriel's brothers burnt his hands. Furthering the possibility we have discussed before, that his horrible half brothers were pouring oil onto some sort of Starborn flame that he may have unwittingly exhibited, could said Starborn magic have sparked in the first place because it was trying to purify itself from a dark, shadowy infestation taking root in the lightless dungeon? Imagine if the pain of the burns only fuelled the Valg attempting to hijack young Az! And, while Nesta thought Azriel was lying when he said his shadows don't like the flames so much because he's sat in front of the fireplace "plenty," we do know they tend to avoid the light of a different sort of flame: the sun.
I didnât doubt his claim. And the other Illyrian ⌠âAzrielâhis hands. The scars, I mean,â I said. âWhere did they come from?â Rhys was quiet a moment. Then he said too softly, âHis father had two legitimate sons, both older than Azriel. Both cruel and spoiled. They learned it from their mother, the lordâs wife. For the eleven years that Azriel lived in his fatherâs keep, she saw to it he was kept in a cell with no window, no light. They let him out for an hour every dayâlet him see his mother for an hour once a week. He wasnât permitted to train, or fly, or any of the things his Illyrian instincts roared at him to do. When he was eight, his brothers decided itâd be fun to see what happened when you mixed an Illyrianâs quick healing gifts with oilâand fire. The warriors heard Azrielâs screaming. But not quick enough to save his hands.â - ACOMAF, chapter 18
Azriel lingered near the door, quiet enough that when Feyre and Mor began talking about some of her paintings, Nesta went over to him. âWhy donât you sit?â She leaned against the doorway beside the shadowsinger. âMy shadows donât like the flames so much.â A pretty lie. Sheâd seen Azriel before the fire plenty. But she looked at who sat close to it and knew the answer. - ACOSF, chapter 58
The Valg use rings and necklaces of wyrdstone, an obsidian material, to infect a host, and in addition to Truth-Teller's hilt being made from obsidian - I've wondered before whether it could be a wyrdkey, or even possessed - Azriel was once described as not having shadows at his ear, or darkness ringing his fingers when around Elain. Does this mean that his shadows - which we now know are concentrated magic - could be infected by a Valg-type being such that they can influence his mind, and maybe even control his body? Could he become a "mindless" soldier grunt?
But the second male, the more classically beautiful of the two ⌠Even the light shied from the elegant planes of his face. With good reason. Beautiful, but near-unreadable. Heâd be the one to look out forâthe knife in the dark. Indeed, an obsidian-hilted hunting knife was sheathed at his thigh, its dark scabbard embossed with a line of silver runes Iâd never seen before. Rhys said, âThis is Azrielâmy spymaster.â Not surprising. Some buried instinct had me checking that my mental shields were intact. Just in case. - ACOMAF, chapter 16
Cassianâs dark brows narrowed. I dragged a hand over my face before going to Elain and touching her too-bony shoulder. âCan I set you up in the garden? The herbs you planted are coming in nicely.â âI can help her,â said Azriel, stepping to the table as Elain silently rose. No shadows at his ear, no darkness ringing his fingers as he extended a hand. Nesta monitored him like a hawk, but kept silent as Elain took his hand, and out they went. - ACOWAR, chapter 30
The Valg princes can feed on pain and nightmares; in the ACOTAR, shadows are frequently associated with - and can even darken with - pain. Azriel was once described as having shadows and terrors over his shoulder, and there are many examples of his shadows gaining strength when he is uncomfortable or hurting, and lightening when he is happy or content. Is this because his nightmares/negative emotions are less potent and so stop fuelling the Valg he is - hypothetically - carrying around?
I saw the painting in my mind: the lovely fawn, blooming spring vibrant behind her. Standing before Death, shadows and terrors lurking over his shoulder. Light and dark, the space between their bodies a blend of the two. The only bridge of connection ⌠that knife. - ACOWAR, chapter 69
âCanât sleep?â Cassian took up a fighting stance. A shadow curled around Azrielâs neck, the only one brave enough to face the sunlight. âSomething like that,â he said, and settled into his own stance across from Cassian. Cassian let it drop, knowing Az would have told him already if heâd wanted to share what had been hounding him enough to exercise at night, rather than in the morning with them. - ACOSF, chapter 23
Speaking of, what is going on with this newly brave shadow? If Azriel or his shadows are hosts in some way for Valg-type being/s, is something causing them to gain on him? Is it his notably intensified depression from ACOSF, or the fact that he was standing above the House of Wind, the heart of which might be connected in some way to Hel? Alternatively, is it a positively denoted response to his new proximity to the Archeron sisters and their (hypothetical) different forms of Starborn light?
Could Azriel's shadows/magic simply be possessed, or are they actually a swarm of Valg in their own right, either wholly or in part, and attempting to use Azriel and Truth-Teller as a thin place to cross into Prythian? This behaviour fits with what we know of them as a species, though of course we don't know if they have the ability to do this specifically. But if Azriel does harbour some sort of Valg infestation, it becomes very interesting that his shadows respond by brightening around Feyre, who is a powerful healer, Mor - whose power is Truth (Damaris, the sword of Truth, was used in Erawan's death), and Elainâľ (of whom many have wondered if she contains pure life or rebirth from the Cauldron, which could potentially allow her to heal - especially given the frequent use of "dawn" to describe her, another parallel with Yrene, the Torre Cesme, and even the Dawn Court in Prythian).
âľ I'm including this information in the discussion not because of any shipping preference, but due to its relevance if Azriel really is infected by a Valg-type being.
Could this phenomenon extend beyond the fact that they, like the rest of his found family, all make Azriel feel comfortable within himself, and mirror what we learnt about Yreneâś and her powers? Otherwise, it would be incredibly coincidental that Elain is the sister who loves to nurture the cycle of life by gardening, who is so often described with imagery pertaining to warmth and the sun (especially at dawn), who has wielded Truth-Teller in such a way that may indicate she activated its powers and weakened a possible Valg prince, who has been strongly linked to hope, who has a different sort of strength, who has even brought a king to his knees...
âś @wingedblooms has previously discussed Elain's parallels with Yrene here and here; as always I suggest reading her brilliant posts!
Erawan panted as he approached. âHealer,â he breathed, his unholy power emanating from him like a black aura. She backed away a step, closer to the balcony rail. The dark king followed her, a predator closing in on long-awaited prey. âDo you know how long I have looked for you?â The wind tossed his golden hair. âDo you even know what you can do?â She hesitated, slamming into the balcony rail behind her, the drop so hideously endless. âHow do you think we took the keys in the first place?â A hateful, horrible smile. âIn my world, your kind exists, too. Not healers to us, but executioners. Death-maidens. Capable of healingâbut also unhealing. Unbinding the very fabric of life. Of worlds.â Erawan smirked. âSo we took your kind. Used them to unbind the Wyrdgate. To rip the three pieces of it from its very essence. Maeve never learned itâand never shall.â His jagged breathing deepened as he savored each word, each step closer. âIt took all of them to hew the keys from the gateâevery one of the healers amongst my kind. But you, with your giftsâit would only take you to do it again. And with the keys now returned to the gate âŚâ Another smile. âMaeve thinks I left to kill you, destroy you. Your little fire-queen thought so, too. She could not conceive that I wanted to find you. Before Maeve. Before any harm could come to you. And now that I have ⌠What fun you and I shall have, Yrene Towers.â - KOA, chapter 113
Erawanâs power swelled, but Yrene was already glowing, bright as the far-off dawn. - KOA, chapter 113
Erawan didnât seem to know where to look. Not as Dorian sent out a punch of his healing light that knocked him off balance. Not as Lysandra leaped upon the dark king, pinning him to the stones. Not as Elide, Damaris in her hands, plunged the blade deep through Erawanâs gut, and between the stones below. Erawan screamed. But the sound was nothing compared to what came out of him as Yrene reached him, hands like burning stars, and slammed them upon his chest. The world slowed and warped. Yet Yrene was not afraid. - KOA, chapter 113
He arched, shrieking, but Damaris held him down, that ancient blade unwavering. His dark power rose, a wave to devour the world. Yrene did not let it touch her. Touch any of them. Hope. It was hope that Chaol had said she carried with her. Hope that now grew in her womb. For a better future. For a free world. - KOA, chapter 113
The gods might have been gone, Silba with them, but Yrene could have sworn she felt those warm, gentle hands guiding her. Pushing upon Erawanâs chest as he thrashed, the force of a thousand dark suns trying to rip her apart. Her power tore through them all. Tore and shredded and ripped into him, into the writhing worm that lay inside. The parasite. The infection that fed on life, on strength, on joy. Distantly, far away, Yrene knew she was incandescent with light, brighter than a noontime sun. Knew that the dark king beneath her was nothing more than a writhing pit of snakes, biting at her, trying to poison her light. - KOA, chapter 113
A thought and Yreneâs power flared brighter. Erawan screamed. The power of creation and destruction. Thatâs what lay within her. Life-Giver. World-Maker. Bit by bit, she burned him up. Starting at his limbs, working inward. And when her magic began to slow, Yrene held out a hand. She didnât feel the sting of her palm cutting open. Barely felt the pressure of the callused hand that linked with hers. But when Dorian Havilliardâs raw magic barreled into her, Yrene gasped. Gasped and turned into starlight, into warmth and strength and joy. - KOA, chapter 113
Yreneâs power was life itself. Pure, undiluted life. It nearly brought Dorian to his knees as it met with his own. As he handed over his power to her, willingly and gladly, Erawan prostrate before them. Impaled. The demon king screamed. - KOA, chapter 113
I could be wrong of course! But it just seems too coincidental to me that we have all of these parallels between one of the Archeron sisters⡠and the unassuming healer who - together with her friends - executed a Valg king in Erilea when I have suspected for a while that Azriel's shadows had been hijacked or corrupted in some manner.
⡠I once posted, ages ago, that Azriel's shadows do not recoil from Elain Archeron, and even though I just outlined why I think she might be able to heal/purify them (assuming they're corrupted, of course), I stand by the theory. It is the corruption that would be vanishing/weakening around her and not the concentrated magic itself. And it would be an interesting tie in to the "purity language" (not my term) that SJM has used between them. That's the only shippy note I'll make here, and only because it would otherwise appear like I was contradicting my earlier self.
Anyway! If you've read this far then well done you, I'm sorry I didn't break this up into more manageable sized posts. I hope it all made sense, I did leave a bit out to try to salvage some of its atrocious length, so if I realise I forgot to tie something back around I may come back and fix it. But to sum up once more, I do think - and others have also noted - that there are many parallels between Azriel and the Starborn/Dusk Court Fae, the princes of Hel and the Valg, though one could argue that the latter two parallels extend to any void-based or demonic beings in general (which tracks if I'm correct that Illyrians can trace at least some of their origins to Hel).
Thank you for reading! đ
#azriel shadowsinger#azriel acotar#azriel appreciation week#azriel appreciation week 2024#azriel shadowsinger week#azrielappreciationweek#azrielappreciationweek2024#azriel theory#azriel shadowsinger theory#acotar#acotar theory#acotar cc tog crossover theory#maasverse#maasverse theory#sjm books#princes of hel#the valg#dusk court#starborn#pro azriel#avallen
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You know I've been more talkative with my one friend yet I haven't said much to the other... honestly I'm struggling to find things to talk about lately... but that's just because I never really know what to talk about...
#normally ends up being murder or crimes...#so yeah...#I dunno if either of the two are uncomfortable with such topics and I'm trying to figure out how to really ask.#like I could do it over messages or wait until meeting in person.#but like... I also need to know how they feel towards me because my mental says so.#like if they see me as innocent little cinnamon roll like everyone else than uh... I guess I can add them to the list of surprised people.#but also if they are uncomfortable with it I don't wanna accidentally make them uncomfortable knowing I think about such things so like...#mmmmmm....#I dunno.#I've hardly ever been told to stop the murder talk or crime talk.#I know for a fact one of them was religious. I don't remember who the other was because we haven't talked in so long...#though for that one I think I just talked about it way too much.#... I'm just scared to lose anymore people.#and especially to what that might do to me mentally.#...#uhm#I'm gonna stop talking now.
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the company i work for decided that its switching from the german formal "You"(Sie) to the informal "you" (Du) in all of our websites so now we have to scour the entire database to change it and i quite frankly hate that, not just bc the unecessary extra work but especially bc its such a weird and unecessary change
i bet its bc everything here is getting englishfied (both literally and culturally it feels like, when my new boss talks its half in english bc every second german word is just replaced by an english one despite there being perfectly fine words for it in german too, its so annoying) and bc they want to sound more personal in hopes of getting more clients bc 'company is your fwiend uwu!!', i know this here is the amercian tm site so you wouldnt understand really but i do not want to be greeted with 'du' by companies, no, thats too personal, you dont know me and im not giving you my data, stay away!!
i guess thats how i would describe it .. the formal you is like a polite distance, like someone you dont know staying outside your personal space, but when its the informal 'you' it feels invasive unless i told you you can call me that, and that goes double for companies
maybe its a small thing that doesnt seem important but i cant stand it, im just a little part time worker doing data work so i got no say in it but the companies founder also announced hes giving his post to his kids some time ago so ...... since then theres been alot of changes and new projects that solely aim to imitate whats popular and whats done by other companies, despite ours being one that is, or used to be, intentionally different, like, that was the POINT, but i guess chasing trends is just too appealing for CEOs
#ganondoodles talks#personal#rare personal rant#theres more and more changes that feel so weirdly forced#like man#i thought being different was the whole point#like climate and ethics are .. or were .. the core idea and now i guess its just fine to do whatever conventional companies are doing#yeah woohoo lets also do an app thing that forces people to sign up if they want reasonable prices!#smartphones the standard everwhere!#who needs anything physical if you can put it in an a phone so syphon off data directly out of people fingertips!! yea!!!#lets use AI pitcures bc we refuse to hire more graphic desingers and they are jsut so overworked uwu#climate? ethic? whats that#argh#sorry this needed to get out#recently had a stupid conversation with a coworker bc i asked them why we are okay with AI shit now when it goes against what this-#company was presumably founded on#and he was rly defensive and said welll we dont have time and its cheap and also maybe we should got WITH the time#like that last thing especially pissed me tf off#but i cant afford to lose this job#im starting to hate it more though so the dream of being able to stay like this might not be real#i cant get a job in this place that is as nice to my mental health so idk man#i wish i was good enough at merch and online stuff so i could live of that#but even trying to find out how taxes work on that stuff is a nightmare to me
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I rly donât see how ppl be 20+ shipping kids anymore tbh⌠like, itâs so rampant and I donât see the appeal to it anymore being as tho Iâm in my late 20âs.
#Iâm grownâŚ.. it always baffles me to see it like man I donât care I donât find joy in it anymore since Iâm not a teenager#I just look at them and think theyâre like my fake son⌠daughter nephew niece whatever lol#give me the struggling and mentally fucked up 20+ year old give me those middle age bitches man if Iâm going to like a ship now anyway#like i donât care about the romance between kids man it sucks that this is such a huge thing in most fandom spaces#not that I participate in said spaces since ppl are annoying and embarrassing#also very nasty#sns is diff tho like thatâs a whole other thing đŞ˝#sns is just a classic itâs legendary it transcends space and time it it-#Iâm so glad that jjk is full of adults tho lmfaoo#one of Gegeâs only Wâs⌠especially impressive for a shounen#i like jjk outside of the goiji pairings too like I just genuinely enjoy it despite how awful it is now lol#again#I do think that ppl need to learn how to become more comfortable with enjoying media outside of shipping tho#like thereâs nothing wrong with it obviously but Iâm talking more like how tons of ppl only get into a new series for the sole purpose#of shipping instead of engaging with said media and the story that itâs trying to tellâŚ#this is why fanon and wild insane hcâs usually get out of control too to the point where those who might be interested in checking out#a series might be deterred because they donât even know what the show is about because the only stuff that ppl see about the thing is ship#stuff and like discourse#and the behavior of the fansâŚ#these ppl be 30+ arguing with teenagers man itâs crazy to me#I just think there needs to be a balance lol#like still go crazy. Have fun and all but you get it#but anyway. with all that being said! Goiji stays winning in my heart đśđžââď¸#rambling
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Just a quick reminder (especially if you're a teenager) because my friends recently have started "diets" which sound pretty harmful actually: especially as a teenager or child you are Expected to eat lots of carbohydrates and also likely fats and glucose and gain calories so that your body can properly build itself!!! Please don't do harmful diets no matter how skinny or pretty you want to be!!! Being pretty means NOTHING if you're not healthy!
#text#Now I am German so I can't fully translate it correctly and we've had this topic in biology only but I've picked up some stuff anyway#It genuinely hurts me because to me they are some of the most WONDERFUL friends out there and I don't know if not eating all day except-#Once and then it's a relatively small portion will help at all#Especially my one friend who's already skinny since the start#I'm a bit scared for them because I've heard before how diets can be super harmful especially to teens and the extremes that they're-#willing to go to are so insane to me#I'm not a biology teacher or anything but it still upsets me when I learned that eating right is healthy#I hope nothing bad happens to them they are my entire world âĽď¸âĽď¸âĽď¸#mental health#erm im gonna Tag this with some stuff to be easier filtered#diets#this might count as disordered eating but I can't be sure because I have no idea what they really do at home#Sigh
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Iâm not going to say I have OCD but from real research a lot of what is said to be OCD I relate to so itâs something that Iâm going to be talking about with my therapist when I see her again.
But one thing I do know is that OCD is something that so many people donât understand and itâs honestly pretty sickening to see people condemn those who have real intrusive thoughts
So for anyone who follows me and has OCD, my blog is a safe space for you â¤ď¸
#ocd#I think being able to talk about what Iâve experienced to my therapist Iâll really help#not saying that I do have OCD#but I have suspect I might have some form of it#I know my grandpa did#and especially since I have a couple other mental disorders#I wouldnât be too surprised#but anyway#sending love to anyone who follows me#and has OCD#I hope your day goes well today
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very much this... cr.
#i saw this hours ago but i came across this tweet again#and it made me think about how i learned how to not put people i stan on insane pedestals#bc when they made bad decisions or something very ignorant#i would get insanely disappointed and sad abt it for a very long time#not that i don't think even if you have a healthy view abt people you stan#you can't be disappointed but#i feel like when you do this actively and you think your faves can't do no wrong#and then they do it's very different#what i've observed for the past few months is that#some people might not even realize they are doing this#and i feel like on twt it's so bad#especially with the whole 'you have to stream or you are bad fan' time of mentality#that it ended up creating this environment of having to do#everything for these idols no matter what#some people are so against boycotts bc of this#and have a very unhealthy relationship with stanning culture#and i say this from a very personal experience but#my view on stanning groups change drastically the moment i started to be on tumblr full time#and i remember the exact moment where i thought wow i've been#doing it wrong this whole time and that's why i was so miserable#i will not go into details bc this is getting long#but i do intent to do an extended essay (sorta kinda) about this soon#bc i feel like it's something that we need to sincerely discuss#and how awful it is to perpetuate these behaviors#tris.txt
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probably a take that a LOT of people are going to be angry about but I'm gonna preface with: I'm speaking on a general trend I've seen in online spaces, and my thoughts on it are not a direct callout to anyone nor an inherent indicator of if someone's DID is "real" or "fake."
but like. the way that some people will use public spaces to "chat intra-system" is so wild and even at times uncomfortable as fuck, if nothing else it's pretty wildly unsafe because like you have NO IDEA who's reading what you're writing out. Having a private discord server or a journal or a notes app or something is a much safer way to facilitate that kind of thing.
that and lowkey..... sometimes ppl doing it in public or actively sharing screenshots of it on tumblr like it's some "the group chat going wild tonight" type content just feels. So much like roleplay. It skeeves me out a bit. I know in my heart that generally using a space to try and communicate with other parts of the system is a healthy coping mechanism that a lot of therapists recommend but so many times that I see that posted it feels like that meaning and healing has been lost and in some cases borders on roleplaying or content farming and it makes me so uncomfortable
#like you don't have to and SHOULDNT be posting every little thing all the time to the internet especially when it comes to within-the-system#making your coping mechanisms into public displays is so bad for mental health#and I would know because I used to do that so often when I was younger and it fucked me up so bad#and again this isn't some callout or vagueposting abt anyone in particular just the trend of this happening feels yucky to me#bc especially with the content that goes out it gets hard to tell who's genuinely just wanting to share and who might be trying to just#generate content and likes and squeeze out every bit of what the internet will eat tf up#actually dissociative#actually did#did#dissociative#dissociative identity disorder#I'm welcome to discussing this btw but if you're a dick about it or start the infantilizing shit I'm blocking on sight#I'm just so over the ableist garbage over the last two days lol#tpwh
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who knew that some agere people would be the worst type of people to exist (talking about you spinny)
#dont get your toddler army to do your anon hate and unblock me on discord if u want to talk#ik you act like a baby and thats fine but if youre bold enough to try to get me paranoid (and fail) then u should be bold enough to dm me#yknow without hiding yourself#either do that or leave us alone girl!! move on#like why do you preach about moving on to a new era and then actively seek out trouble ????#get a job or something#trying to make me think my bf is cheating on me is such a weird thing to do and a big low for you spinny. it's actually sad#the worst part youre not even good at doing it. youre making shit up from what you THINK you know & hiding behind ur friend#its okay to fall out of friendships and im not even trying to meddle with your life but you are literally actively seeking out problems#and thats so pathetic. especially when you paint yourself all high and might over us ??? clearly we tried everything for you#until we got to a point where we were literally drowning because we have other shit in our lives too#you keep losing friends and complain about it. maybe consider why??? because of lack of communication and empathy!! youre just mean!#especially to those who've always tried so hard to have your back and defend you! (buka and me!!!)#yet you didnt care. you dont communicate and expect us to read minds & you demand things#and u say that a real friend should know when to reach out & ya but when it gets to a point where i feel like im drowning? no thanks#im prioritizing myself and my mental health im sorry#not to mention i was ALWAYS IN THE MIDDLE IN YOUR BULLSHIT#so grow up. actually. and if you wanna dm me then unblock me and we can talk#if you want to keep hiding behind your toddler friends acting like youre all small and sweet and babies then go ahead but leave us alone?#at least ill have closure and finally come to terms that you're not rlly a good person and u use your illnesses to excuse ur behavior#because i still think about you and wish you were our friend but after everything thats happened (this being the cherry on top for ME)#then maybe you really just are a shitty person and you do more harm than good#soz to everyone else reading this just continue scrolling LOL#its drama cus an ex friend is sending their toddler militia on me for some reason???#delete later
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one thing I love about following celebrities/artists who are honest and proactive about their mental health struggles etc is I canât count the number of times someone I know is going through something and Iâm like âIâve got a song for uâ and how much of my life involves telling myself âif [redacted] can do something/get better/etc then so can iâ (and having actual real evidence of it in front of me) and I canât understate how much I appreciate these things.
but at the same time it involves a whole lot of watching people I care about suffer and you learn to read the signs and infer between the lines in songs and interviews, and yes we can never fully know what they donât share with us, but when they do share things itâs not a big stretch to be like âthis seems like itâs what life is like for you and I have taken encouragement from it but you deserve so much betterâ. and itâs easy to find ways to get angry at a predatory industry and realise things that could be hurtful if youâre already fragile.
and we can advocate for some things and help ourselves and the people around us feel better but itâs hard to meaningfully reach your faves as an individual. and there are things we canât say on the internet in too much detail, speculation becomes the harmful kind of gossip, and so sometimes itâs a whole lot of internally saying âyouâre doing incredibly well to have gotten to where you are but I wish for your sake things would get better fasterâ
#curse and catch 22 (not the song)#I didnât mean to make this so anonymous as a post but maybe. itâs applicable to a lot of artists. I donât know#just thinking about how sometimes someone will say something and itâs like âoh honeyâ if you can see. why they might be saying it#like a glimpse into the top of an iceberg that makes a lot of sense to be there given other things they do and talk about#I feel like weâre in a unique position as a fandom with the way all four of them have been so vulnerable in different ways#and they may not be perfect but imo no one deserves to suffer like that especially for an extended amount of time. but the thing is#sometimes the fans are suffering and so are our faves and people appreciate the relatability and donât have any basic compassion#or ability to see past their own struggles. with this fandom especially compared to a lot of others Iâve been in and I think I know why#but in the end the way I see it weâve gotten so much relatable content and encouragement (bc the Finding The Positives Vibes which are ther#and sometimes thereâs nothing we can give back apart from being a part of systemic change which all of us deserve for ourselves too#idk if this band is unique in this or I just find them more relatable personally and thus easier to see how hard theyâve worked#on themselves and taking risks in order to be honest. and it reminds me of the quote about how suffering wonât make your art better#healing will. and so imo anyone whose art is really good when they are going through a lot has me thinking. imagine what itâd be like#when life isnât so hard for you?? or when youâre getting better but it just takes a long time Iâm like. you deserve to feel better faster#this all said Iâm incredibly proud and Iâm not trying to insinuate thereâs anything catastrophic going on bc there absolutely isnt#I am not in any way worried. Iâve seen tragedies about to happen and these guys show none of the signs. but I do relate to a lot of tidbits#pertaining to. certain chronic mental illnesses and/or being neurodivergent in an unaccommodating world (donât ask which)#things I would anticipate would be a lot harder when thereâs hordes of often fickle occasionally predatory fans to contend with#sometimes I just think of this idk#celebrities are people#5 seconds of summer#5sos#5sos fandom#cw mental health things
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Being a villain isnât all fun and games! Just mostly (Patreon)
#Doodles#Villainsona#Just Desserts#Charm compilation <3 It's been a while!#Especially so for some of these - like the first ones!#Some of my very earliest Charm doodles were set to ''Ready as I'll ever be''#A lot happier the first time around admittedly haha ⪠Or more confident and proud and feeling justified perhaps#Charm's villainy has gotten a lot more angsty which is very funny on her cute face hehe <3#She'll cut loose again once she fully gives into it - if you're gonna be evil you might as well make it fun! She'll get there#Yet another WOY style TVAU Charm - I'm gonna get an outfit one of these days I swear!#I've been working on a design breakdown of classic Charm lately actually she's just - agh how did I do it first try??#Accidentally excellent design with lots of stops and places for the eye to rest and a good mix of 3D details and 2D ''textures''#She was designed with the 3D-looks-2D style in mind initially - I have to get back into that mental space somehow agh#Another style that every time I see it out in the wild I'm like ''Oh Charm would look perfect'' lol - y'know the Little People toy line?#Soft plastic with cute chibi proportions! I did talk about the designs as cute palm-sized toys way early on as well haha#Just so fun to imagine holding her like an ice cream cone pfft#Candle ⼠I sometimes forget that candlemaking for Charm is what drawing is for me lol - expression! Delight!#She makes candles based on her interests :D#This one just so happens to be green with red accents - and look the red wick is back! Probably could've gone with a pink one for tongue but#It's fine ⪠A different candle perhaps! Hehe <3#Do aliens exist in the JD universe? I mean it's me so probably but hmmm#Taffyyyy <3 Sweetest sheep best little lad <3#So relaxing to hug âĽ#That last one feels so oddly on-model?? Or on-vibe??? I dunno I'm just terribly happy with it hehe#Charm being cute and posed just a little strange in a natural way :D I like it very much!
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Honestly i really do know im being annoying with this but the logistics of swapping out Avon and Raistlin and watching what theh do is the greatest form of Playing With Dolls I've ever ever had. Its a serotonin treadmill. You've heard of watching a brilliant, dark tortured genius asshole slowly create his own downfall what about landing in the middle of such a slipperyslope and starting to turn it into an entirely different one. AND THERE'S PVP ALLOWED, one of my main options rn is Avon-as-Raistlin starts planning how to re-open the connection and either undo this or pass some more things between the worlds- and Raistlin-as-Avon is like FINDERS KEEPERS BITCH. Paying It (The Lichdom Curse) Forewards, im staying in your life and im winning at it, fuck off. And Avon's like, ex-fucking-scuse me?
#what if. in this route avon is repoening the connection through magic raist-as-avon is gonna start regaining the capscity for magic too.#and it can be a Metaphysical Wizard Duel AND like an emotional climax whhen their parties catch up#and like. avon coming back for his friends carried on a storm. the fact that despite dverything he would fight for it-#even if hes doing it for an Incredibly Specific Way he wants to benefit power from merging both worlds that STILL a level of#coming back for his friends and lives and such yknow. its gonna affect them.#and raistlin possibly seeing caramon again-#i dont think avon would be as desperate to strike out on his own thats a raist psychological thing-#and maybe trying to appeal through the barrier like. hey! if you want what's good for me. GET HIS ASS. I want to stay here!#and that classic kind of tension between them. caramon wanrs his brother back and raistlin thinking of it as caramon wanting him Weak#and Dependant on his protection. the whole aspect of like body and strength swap is very. interesting and a bit#yuck politically but thats part of the fun. this isnt a cure narrative this is game of thrines musical chairs over resources-#the bodies the magic the many differences in Circumstances that seperate the two wars-#not just genre but straight up strategical details. the privileges of space age comforts vs having an almost even chance at victory. etc et#YOU SEE ME. IM HAVING FUNNNNN#THIS IS SO FUN. IT SHOULD BE A NOVELLA LENGTH ZINE FROM THE 90S UNFORTUNATELY ITS JUST ME IN MY HEAD. BUT#cally can probably sense something is wrong from the start. mentally....#the grudging respect raist would have for blake vs unlike avon he is entirely capable of backstabbing the hell out of them all.#avon would find the Expanded DL Party loud and weirdly social and annoying and pass off as raist through that easily#but also just. as i said i think he's way less likely to actually Act to further only himself like raist would#especially as Not Native to this setting like. no use aloanating possible resources. hes just gonna steer them All As A Group towards#paths of survival and advantage in the war that are Also to his personal magic based benefits i think#im having FUN#yknow what i might make this my Pinned. im Going Through A Moment.#dragons of the sad embezzler
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