#and do some other small things before i edit + start posting regularly!!

[delusional-day-dreamer]

Last Friday Night - p.b

‣ paige bueckers x reader!

‣ nika's version of this fic

‣ wc: 1953; sorry this is so short and lowkey not that good?

‣‣ synopsis: you and paige have kept your relationship on the dl for a while now, but what happens when your inebriated selves slip up on kk’s live? pretend the ncaa's lift on cannabis for athletes happens before the start of the 23-24 season!

‣‣‣ a/n: guys i'm so sorry for the utter lack of content but I just got back from camp and i am ready to feed y'all, i got a lot of ideas cooking up and i'm really hoping i can post a lot more while i have the time. also for the multiple versions, i genuinley couldn't choose who to write this about, so i just did both!

8:42 am

To say that you and Paige were in trouble by the events of last night was a little bit of an understatement. Both of your phones were blowing up by your respective coaches, teammates, close friends, and all of your social media accounts.

As you scrolled through your tiktok, text messages, instagram tags, and just about everything else on your phone while laying next to Paige's sleeping figure in her bed, it only reaffirmed one thing in your head.

You and Paige majorly fucked up.

12:07 am; where it all went wrong

With your volleyball season and Paige's basketball season being in their respective peaks during this time of year, you had barely gotten a chance to spend time with your girlfriend alone. The two of you were either travelling for away games, at practice, in class, hanging out with your friends or teammates, or busy studying. Needless to say, you missed Paige. A lot.

Which, combined with the weed pen you were hitting periodically, loosened your inhibitions to a whole new level inside of Ted's fairly crowded bar.

It wasn't jam-packed, but there was a decent crowd of older college students for a Friday night in October, especially since Halloween was soon to be approaching in two weeks.

Normally, you and Paige weren’t big on PDA, at most you would hold hands or give small pecks around the team, considering the fact that the two of you kept your relationship very much on the down low, not so much a secret as very private. You never denied any allegations but basically never posted together on your own, unless the two of you ended up in the background of someone else’s pictures.

Social media had a lot of speculation, edits, rumors, etc, surrounding the two of you, as you had no connection to the team as a volleyball player yet still hung out with them regularly. But either way, you and Paige always just minded your own business and kept everything very hush hush. Except for tonight.

Paige was sort of sober, she had done two shots with some of the other girls while you mostly just smoked a few times, not wanting to get super high, but just enough to let the tingly sense of giggly euphoria wash over you.

Yet one thing you failed to consider when choosing weed over alcohol for tonight was the fact that it made you incredibly horny. That, combined with the fact that you and Paige hadn’t spent any time together in the last three weeks, let alone have sex, were the leading factors of tonight.

The rest of the basketball team was spread throughout the bar, some were at a table not far from the two of you, messing around on KK's live, while others were dancing, drinking, or mingling with their other friends.

Which left you and Paige alone, squished together in the corner of the bar top. You were leaning with your back against the wall, standing in between Paige's spread legs from her position facing you atop the stool. Her hands were holding onto your bare thighs, occasionally removing her left to take a small sip of her drink before dutifully returning to your legs.

"I'm just saying P, we could definitely sneak out without anyone noticing, everyone's too busy doing their own thing," you attempted to convince your stubborn girlfriend, sweetening the notion by rubbing your hands up and down her jean-clad thighs.

As D1 athletes, it was obvious that the two of you had toned and muscular bodies, but one of Paige's features you found most attractive were her muscular thighs she built from her time in the gym and on the court, especially the way they would wrap around your head while eating her out.

"We'll leave soon baby don't worry. Besides," Paige leaned into your ear, her warm breath sending shivers down your spine. "I already promised I would make up the last three weeks to you tonight yeah? What's another hour ma?"

You bit your bottom lip as Paige pulled back, thudding your head on the wall behind you as your eyes trailed over the small smirk Paige held, now using her fingers to draw small circles on your thigh.

"Fuck, you're driving me crazy like this Paige," you reached your right hand over to the bar top, desperate to take another hit of your pen to ease the influx of horny thoughts running through your mind.

Before you could bring the vape up to your mouth, Paige grabbed your waist and pulled you into her, and despite her sitting position, you still only had a good two inches over her.

"You're not gonna share baby?" Her teasing eyes gleamed up at you as she licked her lips in anticipation.

You immediately knew what she meant by that, the two of you doing it all the time whenever you're smoking or vaping together (let's be frl, they're college students, it's NORMAL).

You smirked at her suggestion, leaning into her before taking a deep inhale of the weed, allowing as much of the smoke to enter your lungs as possible before using your left hand to grab Paige's jaw, pressing your open lips against hers to shotgun the smoke into her mouth.

You didn't even wait to finish exhaling all of the smoke and taking another breath before enveloping Paige's lips into yours hungrily, eagerily gripping her waist with the hand still holding the vape.

You kissed her passionately, deepening the kiss as you slipped your tongue into her mouth, the mixture of the rum and coke she was drinking earlier and the earthy taste of weed making your head spin.

You continued to make out for a few minutes, gently pulling away while tugging her bottom lip with your teeth, gazing down at her closed eyes and blissful expression.

"You finally ready to go home P?" You teased, licking your swollen lips at her finally needy expression.

"We're getting the fuck out of here, right now," she rushed out, flagging down the bartender to pay off her tab and the second she got her credit card in hand, interlocked her fingers with yours to drag you out of the bar.

Completely unbeknownst to the two of you, KK and her live had been at the table diagonal to you the whole time, and while her body covered the two of you behind her while sitting, the only shield you had quickly disappeared when she stood up, leaning over the table to steal some of Ice's food when it had been set down, completely exposing you to her two thousand viewers, who were no doubt screen-recording.

The camera clearly caught your lips against Paige's blowing smoke into her mouth before leaning in to kiss her, and despite the two of you being on screen for less than a minute, it was enough to cause an internet commotion.

KK's eyes scanned over the comments as she sat back down, blocking your frames as she shoved a few fries in her mouth. Her eyes widened at the sudden influx of comments about you and Paige, leaning in to figure out what was going on.

"I, what? There's no way y'all," she whispered to the table of Nika, Ice, Carol, and Jana. Aubrey leaned in from KK's right side, trying to figure out what had happened.

Covering the camera slightly, KK, and everyone else, turned around to witness you and Paige's little makeout session ending and the flirty whispers exchanged.

"Unfortunately tonight's live is gonna have to end here girly pops, and if you think you saw something, no you didn't!" KK exclaimed as she quickly turned off the live, the table erupting with laughter at the situation. The whole team had placed bets on how long it would take you and Paige to fumble, and half of them had just lost a hundred dollars at your shennagains.

The walk back to Paige's apartment was brief, filled with flirty touches and short pecks to tide the two of you over until you finally entered home, Paige immediately pushing you up against the front door, moving her lips down your neck and around your collarbones with gentle grazes of her teeth and soothing licks.

"P please, stop teasing," you breathed out, grasping Paige's hair tightly from her scalp with your hand, pulling her face up to yours to gaze down at her with a pleading expression.

"Aw, my poor baby," she cooed, mocking your horny desperation for her, but thankfully Paige wasn't that cruel.

She led you over to her bedroom, slamming her bedroom door behind her as she pulled your shirt over your head, unfastening the bra clipped behind your back all while reconnecting your lips as she laid you down onto the bed.

You moaned into her mouth as her long fingers bunched your skirt up by your waist, rubbing gentle circles on your clit through your panties.

Before you even had the chance to ask for more, she slid the fabric to the side, running her fingers through your slick before inserting two of her fingers, curling them up into you as you let go of her lips to throw your head back, moaning loudly at her ministrations.

"Oh my god Paige, right there baby, fuck," your leg wrapped around her waist tightly as you clenched around her fingers, bucking your hips up to match her movements. Your hands making their way around her neck and back, pressing her body firmly up against yours.

Normally you wouldn't be so close to finishing within a few minutes, but the weed from earlier created a delirious fog that clouded your brain and with the way Paige's fingers were both pressing into your g-spot and rubbing your clit, your orgasm was quickly approaching.

"Fuck I'm so close P, please just need a little more," you whimpered into her ear, moving your lips down to nip at the sweet spot under her ear.

Her other hand responded quickly to your begs, twisting and tugging firmly at your nipple as she mindlessly muttered every dirty thought that crossed her mind, knowing how deeply her praises affected you.

"Doing so good for me ma, always such a good girl. You gonna be my good girl and come for me? Just let go for me baby."

Her words were the final thing to push you over the edge, the tight coil in your stomach snapping as you immediately arched your back into Paige, an endless string of moans and curses falling from your mouth as you let your orgasm wash over you fully.

"God Paige, I don't think I can even feel my legs right now," you giggled in her embrace as she slowly eased her fingers out of you, sucking the remnants of your orgasm off them before wrapping them around your waist, laying you over her as she laid onto her back.

"Hm, fucked you that good huh?" She smirked, using her clean(ish) hand to brush the slightly sweaty strands of hair that had fallen in front of your flushed face.

"I don't know why you're getting so cocky Bueckers, haven't even had my turn with you yet," you teased, running your fingers over her stomach, tugging at the remaining fabric on her body.

"Thought you just said you can't even feel your legs?"

"Good thing I don't need them to fuck you then yeah? Don't you think my fingers and mouth will be enough for you P," you retorted, shuffling your body down the mattress so you could finally have your way with Paige.

9:13 am

Instagram

y/n l/n posted a story

[verladyweek]

DAY SEVEN: All things end, Dante. Even Verlady Week.

Verlady Nation, I am so happy to be a part of you and to have been a small part of this amazing event week. While the day is not quite over yet, it's getting late in my part of the world, and I want to take the opportunity to say a few things before we all give ourselves and each other a well-deserved pat on the back and say farewell to Verlady Week 2024.

First of all: Thank. You. To all of you. To each and everyone who left a like, shared a post, saw a post and forwarded it to their one (1) friend who they thought could maybe get a kick out of it. Thank you to everyone who has taken the time out of their day to hop over to AO3 and leave a kudos or even a comment on one of the (so far) EIGHTEEN! (pardon my excitement, but that number necessitates all-caps) wonderfully intriguing short stories that have been created for this week - and I know that there are still some stories in the works that are not quite done editing yet. To put this number into perspective, there are - as of the moment of me writing this post - 131 stories in the Lady/Vergil tag on AO3. Which means that almost 14% of all VL stories on AO3 were created in the span of this event week.

Like. You guys. Are beasts. And I say that with awe and adoration.

Thank you to everyone who shared a song - I made a Spotify playlist out of the suggestions and will share it in the masterpost I will compile sometime in the next week.

Thank you for sharing your headcanons and your personal thoughts regarding the intricacies of how you view Verlady's dynamic.

Thank you for all the funny memes! For the photo manipulations! For the renders! Thank you for sharing how Verlady has influenced your real life in small ways, like tiny heart/cheeks on your fingernail.

And I know that was already a very long section of "first of all", but I just wanted to add one last thing:

Thank you so much for every single person who has started a project inspired by this event, regardless of whether you actually finished and shared it or not! All I ever hoped for, was that people would find ways to enjoy this ship and maybe even engage with each other, and I am so happy to say that you have literally made my whole week, I am completely blown away by all of your hard work and the love and support you show each other.

You can still share any works you have not finished yet, a week from now, a month from now, a year from now, it doesn't matter, I got you. Just yell at me give me a ping and I'll reblog your post and add you to the masterlist!

If I have - for whatever reason - NOT reblogged a post you made for this event, please reach out to me! I am so sorry. I promise it was a genuine mistake on my part. I check the event tag regularly, but I might have missed a post or two by accident.

Now, second of all: some of you have already expressed that they would like to see this event return, and I absolutely 100% agree. Next Verlady Week will run from September 8th to September 14th 2025 - and if you happen to have the time or energy for a side hustle, there's always VXLENTINE'S DAY 2025 on February 14th.

Before I go into more detail about the latter, I want to talk about the former for just one more second: I will post a link to a Google form sometime next week, allowing you to anonymously suggest prompts that you'd like to explore or see others explore for Verlady Week 2025. I actually have this huge mountain of unused prompts leftover from brainstorming this year's event, but if any of you have any unfinished WIPs and you think that "oh well, maybe participating in next year's event is that final push of Motivation(TM) I need to finally finish this", then please, toss a fitting suggestion my way and I will do my best to include it. Or if there is any concept you've always wanted to explore with Vergil and Lady, just yell at me over on Google Forms, or in my DMs (@verladyweek or @kintsugicore) or just write a frenzied post here on Tumblr one morning, explaining in excruciating detail how you are haunted by visions of Vergil accidentally becoming a stripper and Lady running into him on her friend's bachelorette party and I will probably nod in agreement and mutter "I bet that is all just one of Dante's elaborate ploys to do the And Now Kiss(TM) with them" and add something like Striptease to the prompt sheet.

There will not be any prompt voting because VXLENTINE'S taught me that there are certain limitations to how well I can restructure my RL to allow me pockets of time to organize forms and polls and put together necessary graphics, etc. But as of now, I don't think voting is necessary. Verlady nation is tiny, and if any of you want to suggest any prompts (would love ideas for any misc. prompts, tbh!), I think it will be easy to fit at least one suggested prompt per person into next year's prompt sheet!

Now. VXLENTINE'S! I am so so sorry that I didn't manage to put together a poll or a prompt post yet. To simplify the process of choosing the next prompt, I have decided to show you the suggestions I received and explain which suggestion I chose to use and why.

Now, different first meeting is the one person who left empty-handed, but I have decided to carry that prompt over to Verlady Week 2025 instead (so, there's your first prompt, ha!)

VXLENTINE'S DAY 2025 will have the prompt "Sweet Surprise" because I felt it checked the most boxes for prompts suggested. It can be made to fit for a gift, but also for a blind date or first date or any of the other things person #2 suggested, really. Technically, depending on how you envision that Different First Meeting, it could probably work for that one, too.

I will make a proper announcement post for next year's VXLENTINE'S DAY when the dust has settled for a bit and we've all had time to read through everyone's wonderful contributions to Verlady Week and the stress we may have experienced the past few days no longer feels as draining. (And again, you were all so amazing! You did so well! You've put the D in Dedication.)

To close out this already very long post: Verlady Nation is probably among the tiniest little fringe existences in this fandom. It was so nice to be a little louder than we usually are. Thank you again, so much. I hope to see you again in February, and maybe September 2025!

Godspeed and keep on shipping!

[trappedinmymind]

3, 7, 8, 16, 19 from this ask game

3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed?

I'm not entirely sure I'm interpreting this question correctly, but I'll try my best. So, since I typically have multiple writing projects going at a time (especially right now), my brain mentally categorizes them into "computer projects" and "phone projects". Computer projects are more 'important' (not really) and feel as though I have to work on them in a professional environment (i.e. sitting at a desk) and take them seriously. Phone projects are more relaxed, I'm-doing-this-just-for-fun projects (again, that's not actually true it's just how my brain perceives it at the time) where it feels appropriate to do anywhere, at any time. It's fine to do phone projects on the computer, but I Can Not do computer projects on my phone (I technically can, it just feels wrong). These categories are not fixed and in fact change regularly.

As for the actual writing process, phone projects tend to just be stream of consciousness. There are a few places I might need to edit, but they're usually [forgot this word] or [transition here] and other small edits. (As a note, I use brackets to signify where I need to edit, with whatever's inside describing my idea of what I need there. It makes it very easy to find with ctrl+f). Computer projects get something comparable to an actual outline, with lines of ideas of what I want to happen interspersed between [descriptions of what I want to happen here] and [more context/detail] and etc until I basically have the whole chapter planned. Then, I'll go back through and add whichever scenes I feel inspired for until the chapter basically looks like how a phone project would.

I usually take at least a few days off of writing after this, just to clear my head and come back to the chapter with fresh eyes. I'll make minor edits to phrasing, add some [more here] and other things just to lengthen scenes that feel a bit too short. If the situation is particularly dire, I'll put brackets around a whole sentence or even paragraphs that I feel need to be re-written, then come back to it at a later time.

Then I'll whittle away at those, and finally once I've gotten rid of all the bracketed sections, I'll paste the whole chapter into google docs and do a grammar/spelling check. After going through all of those and making whatever changes I think are needed, I'm basically done with the chapter. Sometimes I'll come back a few hours later to give it one final check before posting, other times I just want to be done with the chapter and post it straight away (usually the latter).

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

I like the daydreaming portion of it, where I haven't written anything yet but am convinced it's gonna be great :).

Nah, in all seriousness, there's a lot of little joys in writing for me, but I'd say my favorite is weaving in all the little details and hints that are gonna come back later. The things that start out small, seemingly insignificant, but grow and grow until there’s no way to ignore it. I love those little things that mean everything. They’re like gold bars to me. Small, but heavy, and priceless.

8. If you had to write an entire story without either action or dialogue, which would you choose and how would it go?

Without action. I think I could imply a lot of action in the dialogue, and descriptions and character's thoughts can be used to lengthen the scene, imply pauses, and etc easily enough.

Without dialogue, readers are left with long paragraphs of text that might be difficult to keep track of. Even when I'm writing action-heavy scenes, I try to intersperse some little bits of dialogue or at least markable thoughts that gives a bit of a break from having to visualize everything. I don't think I could write something without dialogue in a way that makes it enjoyable.

16. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever used as a bookmark?

I'm not sure - it's usually a business card or receipt that was left in my purse, or the torn-off corner of a piece of paper that was just laying around. In an emergency, I have used another book as a bookmark, but I was planning on coming back to it as soon as I could, so that might not count.

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

I started when I was a kid. The first thing I wrote was a mcyt fanfiction, but admittedly the plot was kind of good so I might reuse parts of it again. Then I didn't write for a while, but I started getting into mental health stuff and wanted to write stories from the perspective of people with different disorders to try to help destigmatize them (again, I was a kid. I'm now well aware that unless I have those disorders, that's not exactly my place) as well as a few things playing with the concept of time and souls.

I first started putting stories online when my friend got me into a fandom and we created a joint account. It was mostly my friend publishing on there, but I posted a few things, too.

I don’t know how I stopped writing, but I did. Some time just before or during the pandemic. Maybe life got too much. Maybe I just didn’t feel comfortable writing for the new fandom I was in (it involved real people, and I hate writing based off of real people) and couldn’t focus long enough on something I did feel comfortable writing about. I’m not sure.

I think it was Nimona that finally brought me out of that writing slump. I couldn’t get my head out of that world, and it got to the point where the only way I could get out was to write it down. Then of course I went back and started writing for my old fanfics again, and came up with a few ideas for potential original works

[amewinterswriting]

Ame Plays: Littlewood

A cute little life sim that's perfect if you like Stardew Valley but felt the pesky 'farming' bit was keeping you away from more interesting things.

You are the hero who vanquished the Dark Wizard and saved the world. The problem is, you can't remember any of it. Still, there's a town to rebuild and your trusty travel companions are by your side. Along the way, you can make new friends, pick up some new hobbies and maybe learn about what really happened in your past...

The good:

All characters who live in your town (except Dudley, the wise old mentor-type character who practically raised you) are romanceble regardless of gender.

There are canon queer 'default' romances between the villagers if you don't romance them.

Everyhing has clear lists of what you need to progress: I especially liked that in order to get particular travellers to visit, you need to sell certain items and it tells you exactly what you need to sell in your journal. Other games would make it a trial-and-error discovery process.

Absolutely everything about your town is decided by you - the position of houses, decor, paths, elevation, plants, etc. This can be edited at any time and destroying anything reimburses all the materials used to create it, meaning you are free to tinker and redesign with no penalty to progress.

The plot and characters are all nicely written with a surprising amount of depth.

A surprisingly good card game built-in - a simple trading card structure with a fair bit of strategy and anticipating opponent's plays.

No combat - the only 'dangers' just exhaust some energy and kick you out of an area if you are 'hit'. You mostly just have to avoid getting hit.

The bad

After marriage, your spouse just hangs out inside your home despite having their own and doesn't roam around outside or have dialogue about their interests/personality anymore.

A lot of the late game is dependent on random chance for acquiring the right items. At a certain point, you will be advancing time just to refresh the items available in the shops or areas. At this point, it starts to feel very grindy.

The last few achievements are literally just grinding for the sake of it. By this point in the game, you have more resources than you can ever use but you will still need to spend a few more hours mining and chopping trees if you want that achievement. This is more a case of 'when do you decide to stop playing?' - if you feel like you've achieved everything you want, you can absolutely call it quits earlier than this.

I thoroughly enjoyed the game while I was in the early/middle stages of it, but it felt like it just needed a little more to keep it interesting in the late game. Perhaps more interactions post-marriage - not just between yourself and your spouse, but also the budding romances we get a glimpse of after the wedding. Perhaps a set of community requests where your villagers want to add in more facilities or have noticed their neighbours would benefit from a new thing. Maybe a few more events - there's usually only about 3 a month, which makes 12 all year. It often feels like a long time before anything different happens to break up the grind. That said, it's a small indie game and I've sunk a good 54 hours into it, which is comparable to most JRPGs but at a quarter of the price, even if I had picked it up at full price (I actually picked it up as part of a Humble Bundle, but it also goes on sale very regularly). I've definitely gotten my value for money out of Littlewood and would recommend for a cozy, chill game.

[putschki1969]

December 17: Kalafina Acitivities & Ambient Border -DAWN- Pre-Event Report

Tweet 1 & 2 by Hikaru | Instagram post by Hikaru

Finally have some time to sit down and post a little. I did tweet a few pictures here and there so if you follow me you will already know what I have been up to. But I have been feeling too exhausted to actually make proper posts. With such a busy schedule, it’s really no surprise that I keep falling into bed as soon as I get back to the hotel. Today was a more or less relaxed shopping day so I got back early.

After arriving in Japan on December 16 and having a pretty hectic first day, I spent December 17 doing a ton of Kalafina-related stuff. Was wearing a HiKei-inspired outfit to match the occasion and of course I brought my Cakey-beret which I won during her fan club lottery. Feels so nice to wear it here in Japan.

A fellow Kalafina-fan was kind enough to accompany me on some of my Kalafina activities. I get lost quite easily so I am always grateful to have someone around who knows the area.

Kalafina Pinky Ring: FINALLY!! I have been waiting for this opportunity FOREVER! The ring is so much prettier than the one they came up with for their 10th Anniversary. Also, they actually wore this themselves. Quite religiously back then. Keiko wears hers regularly up until this day! The other day Hikaru also wore it for Keiko’s birthday live broadcast. I am sure Wakana still owns hers as well.I have always wanted this ring but in the past I was too stingy and then the pandemic happened and I really didn’t wanna order something this pricey online. So yeah, first thing on my list was the AHKAH store. Best Christmas present ever! Is it weird that I kinda feel married to them now? XD Haha, okay, maybe “married” is not the right word. Oh well.I guess you could say that I am feeling a very strong connection now. Even stronger than before.

PIERRE HERMÉ cake: We all know that Hikaru surprised Keiko with a special chocolate cake on her birthday. It was actually quite easy to figure out where she got it from so of course I had to get one. It’s affordable and pretty small so I was able to finish it within a few days. Since it was a special limited Christmas edition, it tasted a LOT like Christmas. Very gingerbread-y with a hint of jam. Delicious!

Meguro River: I’ve never actually been to Meguro river so I thought I’d check out some of the spots that Hikaru had visited. One day I wanna see the cherry blossoms. I kinda regret not coming at night because there seems to be some sort of nice illumination thingy going on there...Oh well...maybe next time.

Ambient Border -DAWN-: Still can’t believe how easy it was to get a ticket for this. Was a bit intimidated by the TIGET service at first but it turned out to be quite convenient. Simple payment and you get a digital ticket. Had no issues with it. Seems like it was on a first-come-first-serve basis because depending on how early you bought your ticket the lower your number was. People were then allowed to enter the venue in order of their number to find a good spot. Thank God they provided chairs! Wouldn’t have liked standing for this event. Anyway, my number was 41 and I ended up on an aisle seat a few rows away from the stage. Pretty much had a clear view. I chose the Christmas ticket so I got a little A4-sized character card as present. Also bought the pamphlet since I hadn’t ordered that online (only got the Asebi bromides back then). The event started with Hikaru’s Ambient Border and OMG, seeing her in real life again for the first time in THREE years almost killed me. I quite literally teared up. To get an up-close view of her in such a tiny venue while she was wearing this super sexy cyber-punk outfit, I mean, who wouldn’t have combusted at that?! Hikaru sounded great and I was happy to finally hear the song live (it’s one of my faves from her album). Also made sure to buy the special Hikaru drink ^_^ It was a fruity ice-tea so thankfully something I was able to enjoy. After Hikaru, Yuki Sasaki sang his song for the the play and that concluded the first live corner. We pretty much transitioned right away to the two Q&A corners. The cast of the play is way too big so they had to separate the group. During the first set Hikaru was on stage together with a bunch of the other cast members (including Yuki Sasaki and Marina Hamada - I feel like their stories will be quite tightly interwoven which is also why they are singing the insert song “Under the Rain” together but more on that later). The mods had a little box from which everyone got to pick two short questions. It was mostly play-related stuff but I loved how carefree everyone was. I’ve actually never seen Hikaru like this on stage. Usually it takes her a while to warm up to her surrounding and most of the time she is a bit nervous or reserved but among this group of nerds she seems to feel 100% at home. She was clowning around with everyone as if she had known them forever. Super precious. Won’t lie, the second section of the Q&A and the prologue act for Ambient Border dragged a bit because Hikaru wasn’t involved in those but overall they were interesting and got me quite hyped for the play. I REALLY hope we’ll get a broadcast just like we did with her first play. They finished the event with another live corner. First Marina Hamada performed her solo song and then she was joined on stage to reveal a brand new insert song called “Under the Rain”. It’s a collab with Hikaru and Yuki Sasaki. All three got to sing a verse and then they all sang the chorus together. The verses are really lovely, the chorus is just okay I guess. I wonder if this song will ever get an official release. There was some talk about a CD but they didn’t really make an official announcement. Honestly, a CD for the entire play would be neat.

I really regret not getting a ticket for the evening show as well just to see and hear a bit more of Hikaru but then again, it was probably a good thing because jet lag would have kicked my ass sooner rather than later.

[omgfloofy]

State of the Fic(s)

I know it's not Wednesday, but I've had a crazy week. I think to start the new week, I should do a state of the current projects in my 'wip' folder, simply because I've not done one in awhile.

So! Here's a list of current projects I've got going in the 'fic-o-sphere' so to speak that gives you some updates on what's going on with them!

FFXV Related

dal segno al coda

The whole crazy long FFXV fanfic that I've been working on. I had a breakthrough over the weekend that got me out of a rut on part 1, and have decided that something I wrote that wouldn't actually get released at any point probably will (not related to Ad Astra below). It'll be a long time, though, since it's a post-story short.

I've had a goal for awhile that I wanted to have the fic in editing phase by the end of the year, but I'm not sure I'm going to meet that goal at the moment.

Oh yeah. Meanwhile, Elsewhere - the batches of outside POV stories to go alongside events during the main story - has been renamed to Colla Parte. I'm sad to lose the joke based on FFXIV, but I think it's also better to make it line up more to the music theming going on in the names.

There are still the two preview fics:

We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Programming - this is an outside POV fic just before the endgame of the story. It introduces a pair of original characters that were, at first, mentioned on the side, and grew into their own parts.

Date Night - About halfway through the story, Noctis and Lunafreya are reunited and spend a period of time in Insomnia together. I didn't have the space or timing for a lot of what I wanted to do, so I decided to use the ideas as a short with them together in it. It is currently at 2 of 4 chapters, and helps give an idea of the storytelling style/formatting used for the main story.

Twilight

So I'm still picking at this AU in spite of having the fic done. There are a variety of shorts in it still. (If you haven't read it yet, and are interested, the main story for Twilight is available on AO3.)

Sunburned, as part of the On the Job shorts got posted this week.

There are several others in the works, as listed below, all working titles:

There are two more shorts in the On the Job file that are in progress. There may be more in the future.

Group Chat - A batch of unused group texts that I didn't have space for in the main story.

Some Things Never Change - A short of Noct running into Sania.

The Puzzle Box - This is waiting for a chapter of On the Job to be done first, but it's about Noct making his puzzle box that's mentioned in the main story.

A Part to Play - A surprising addition that is turning out to be a bit more world building to the AU than I expected, but Noct is hired to join a small team on a very special project.

There are still some others that I wanted to write that I have in a checklist. I had an Aranea story I wanted to use in the main fic, but never had the space for it. There's another sidestory that's started, but untitled based on an incident that is mentioned in both Twilight and A New Restart.

Hell Diving

So. Uh. This is a stupid thing that's got stuff marked all over and will be a bit more "multimedia"-y of a fic than my others.

Basically, a silly one-shot crossover fic of the chocobros play Helldivers. So. Yeah. thats' a thing.

It just needs a lot of specific creative work to be done before I get into straight up writing it.

Untitled Long Night Story

This whole thing is currently set on the sidelines since I've had a lot of focus on other things. It's still there, and the whole fic just took a bit of a change in terms of storytelling.

I'll get to it. Maybe I'll have this prepared for Halloween this year. That'll be a nice setup.

Ad Astra

A really bizarre/headtrippy followup to dal segno al coda that I wasn't sure I wanted to post. I can't explain anything about this story without spoiling its sister story.

A lot of the notetaking that turned into this was originally to map out the world building that happens endgame in dal segno al coda. It's just come together to make enough for a fic of its own.

Sadly, I'm not 100% sure I have the chops to tell this story well, though.

Non FFXV Stuff:

Random Questions

I'm still working on this! It's still mapped out! It's just that FFXV is back to living rent free in my head right now.

There is also a follow-up to go along with it. I can't post anything from said follow-up until Random Questions is finished, however.

Payday

oh huh. look. a random kiseki/trails fic in the list. I wonder what this could be.

During Yuletide, my assignment had Ys and Crossbell arc stories listed in their requests. A Little Doll's Big Adventure almost didn't get written in lieu of this fic instead, which was a Tio centric story that may end up being way too relatable. I may still write it, as it's outlined.

Lost Traveller

Huh. I wonder what this is...

The Haunting of Karen Jackson

This is a Phasmophobia fic idea I got into my head. It'll be treated as a dossier/report rather than a traditional story. Like with Hell Diving, there are other things I need to prep before I can work on this.

[sweetfirebird]

Writing this down and scheduling this to post later as I edit because I don't want to forget but

Tahlen is trying make it clear to the world, if not to Zelli at first, that he is Zelli's. He has chosen Zelli. He will die for Zelli. He is trying to do this in every single chapter except the last two. Some efforts are conscious (let me be your footstool, Zelli) and some are not (that first offering of his arm to bite... he did not think about it before it happened but he was being territorial bcuz hot Outguards).

Like this was his design, but I didn't realize how often and regularly he did it until I was editing.

He is claiming his little space to make himself happy but also trying to be circumspect about it (and also he is Tahlen who is reserved, even with friends) because Zelli had, after all, rejected him. So he is just going to be the best, most devoted guard there is. It's fine. It's fine.

So I don't think he expecting anyone else to really notice (and other than Esrin, and a few of his guard friends who I think just thought he wanted to sleep with Zelli). It was a small thing, and all he allowed himself.

Anyway. It just amused me. No one really noticed until Arden did. Everyone away from their home, who didn't know them well, saw Zelli's feelings because Zelli never hid them, but not Tahlen's and just assumed guards were Like That.

Until Arden and Mil, who know they are not, and then the other sworn guards, who are like.... um....what sort of kinky shit.

I also am amused that without the distractions of home, Zelli starts responding to it. He does notice, a little, and reminds Tahlen repeatedly he doesn't have to do these things, but it pleases Tahlen so Zelli allows it, allows more, and Tahlen *really* likes that

and it's just funny because the story is Zelli figuring out who he is and what he wants and feels, but it is also Tahlen on a little kinky journey of self-discovery

I'm just babbling. Don't mind me.

[afatlotofchance]

7 deadly sins: All about gluttony (2)

WARNING: I get quite darker with this post. Mentions of murder, rape, incest, and eating disorders await! Those who have a slob kink or a corruption kink will certainly be pleased

III) Some context and consequences, to better explain gluttony

We talked about what gluttony was in essence, we talked about the most commonly shared classification of gluttony and its implications, but there is still a lot to add to fully understand and comprehend gluttony as it was conceived and perceived for centuries and centuries. So here is a little selection of various points:

1) The sin of gluttony was a criticism of Roman society. If you do not know, before the Roman Empire became the first Christian Empire and helped spread the religion throughout Europe and Northern Africa, the Romans were the biggest persecutors of Christians, and they were perceived by the early Church as their number 1 enemy. Heck, it is thanks to the Romans that Jesus got crucified! And so, the early list of the seven deadly sins (which were eight before) was designed to actually criticize and condemn the Roman lifestyle and morals. Gluttony is the most obvious of these attacks, because the Christians were actually demonizing the Romans’ habit of lavish feast and banquets, regularly held in upper classes and as a typical social entertainment – the famous “orgies” we know today. The Romans had cultivated a true aesthetic of the excess, and this was what the original Roman orgy was about – to have the best party of all times, you need to eat a lot, and drink a lot, and have sex a lot. The Christians were especially shocked by one habit of the Romans, something that heavily influenced the “overeating” part of gluttony: the vomitorium. To keep having their orgies, the Romans invented this small room or area in mansions, where the guests of feasts and banquets, feelings too stuffed or too full, went to make themselves vomit, all so they could return to the table and keep eating with an empty stomach!

Small historical edit: I checked back and the “vomitorium” is actually a legend propagated by Christians themselves. Don’t get me wrong – Romans did purge themselves and forced themselves to vomit during their orgies and banquets so they could eat and drink more, this is historically attested. But the “vomitorium” wasn’t a room in the house dedicated to vomiting, unlike what the Christian historians said – in truth it was just an entryway of the house, metaphorically “vomiting” the guests in the main room.

2) Speaking of orgies, Christianity strongly believed that Gluttony and Lust were two deadly sins that went together hand in hand. For Christian thinkers, gluttony always led to lust – again the influence of the Roman orgies, that started as sickening banquets and often turned into sex parties, is felt. Christians classified both gluttony and lust into the “material” sins like greed, as opposed to spiritual ones like anger, pride or envy. But they sub-classified these two as the “sins of the flesh” since both were tied to the body. Even more, theologians and moralist had clearly noticed how these sins “seated” in parts next to each other: gluttony’s stomach and belly area being located right above the genitalia, the “underbelly”, the realm of lust. So it was thought that gluttony always led to lust – and remember when I said the Church had a thing against sauces and spices? Well they truly believed sauces and spices were one of the reasons gluttony turned into lust, since they were convinced (based on the aphrodisiac property of some spices) that sauces and spices were by nature designed to excite and inflame the sexual senses and desires.

3) Tying back into the previous topics: gluttony being related to the Roman orgies, gluttony being thought to lead to lustful and lecherous behavior, gluttony making a man into a beast walking on all fours and rolling under the table… This was being gluttony wasn’t just about food – it was also about alcohol! Drunkards were a type of gluttony sinners, and the excess of alcohol was just as condemned as the excess of food. In fact, it is quite interesting to see how gluttony “evolved” depending on which social class you wanted to mock or criticize: when you did a caricature of the glutton as a rich lord, wealthy merchant or fancy bourgeois, it was all about food (especially since the rich were accused of taking away the food of the poor and the needy below them), but when the peasant, the villager, the low-class man was accused of gluttony, it was him being a drunk – since they were too poor to have lavish feasts, and everybody knows the age-old stereotype of the lower class alcoholic.

4) Gluttony was thought to make you stupid. I talked before of the various “endings” of the “gluttony game”, ranging from bestial behavior to lustfulness. But one recurring belief was that gluttony actually destroyed or remove a person’s intelligence, and made them idiots. Saint Thomas of Aquinas (him again) listed the “five flaws” born out of gluttony as: witless joy, buffoonery, impurity, jabbering, and stupidity of mind.  Beyond impurity, all these flaws were basically different ways to say: being a glutton will make you idiotic. Sure, eating and drinking will make you joyful and merry – but it will be the superficial joyful stupor of being full and drunk, not the true, deep, philosophical happiness of living and existing that Christianity keeps searching for. By spending your time eating and drinking, you remove time from more intellectual activities such as reading or studying. Only concerned with satisfying yourself through your body functions and through culinary pleasures, not developing any social existence or craft whatsoever, living in a superficial, temporary and instant happiness that is not true or lasting (since it stops by the next hunger pang), you slowly lose your wit, your caution, your prudence, you stop concerning yourself with higher subjects or topics, you get accustom to acting silly or stupidly due to the weight of all this food on your body and mind, or due to the drunkenness becoming your by-default state of being, and basically for the Christian theologian you become a brainless, smiling blob. A “cow-like stupor” to take back the words of a fellow kink writer. Eating too much and drinking too much makes your thoughts rusty, your movements clumsy, removes reasonable boundaries and cautions (think of the drunk who starts talking about things he shouldn’t talk or spill secrets he shouldn’t spill), and encourages a form of pure disorder – the “buffoonery”, where nobody waits for anything, nobody cares for anything, and everybody just act like drunk clowns and fools in a big sloppy feast.

A sloppy and dirty feast – because as I said, “impurity” is also there. And impurity is here to understand in the sense of “dirtying” and “soiling”. Thomas of Aquinas raises up the topic of making oneself vomit – either unconsciously, just as the result of eating or drinking too much, either purposefully, to have more room to eat afterward. For him this is the ultimate symbol of gluttony, as the glutton literally soils himself to be able to eat even more, abandoning his health and dignity in the process (as you can see, the early Church was actually an anti-bulimia militant). But more generally, it was all related to the “bestiality” of gluttony and gluttony as a “sin of the flesh” – theologians and moralists disliked gluttony because it reduced the human to a mere body, to a mere set of organ, to a digestive track. The glutton, by spending his time drinking and eating, turned himself into a poop-and-piss machine, because all this food had to come out one way or another. It reduced the man to the bodily functions of ingesting and expelling, and it multiplied all the dirty substances a body can produce: urine, feces, saliva… I hear all those who have a “slob” kink screaming in joy in the background, but yes, this was the horrible picture of gluttony for these moralists. I think the video game “Dante’s Inferno” translated this Christian vision of gluttony perfectly well, taking back the idea that this sin turned a human being into a walking digestive system to decorate the level of Hell of gluttony: their idea of the third circle of Hell was a gigantic stomach filled with gastric acid, hungry maws gnawing, tapeworms vomiting everywhere, puddles of feces and even anuses constantly expelling nauseous gazes and fiery farts…

5) While gluttony is a strong criticism of the Roman culture, its roots are to be found in the philosophies and morals of Ancient Greece, more specifically in the system of vices and virtues codified by Greek philosophers such as Plato, Socrates and Aristotle.  Aristotle had a system of virtues and vices in three parts: for each domain of the human existence (honor, social conduct, shame, fear) Aristotle considered that there were two vices corresponding to the two extremes of this domain (too much or too little), and one virtue that was the just middle. He considered what Christians called lust and gluttony to be part of the same field of action: the one of “pleasure”, where the first of the two vice was an excess of pleasure – licentiousness, and pure, undiluted self-interest. A selfish debauchery where you are only concerned with your earthly pleasures, such as eating, drinking, having sex… Its twin vice being a lack of pleasure, what is often translated as “indifference” or “insensibility”, a complete rejection and ignorance of the things that physically make life enjoyable and nice. The virtue, right in the middle of the twin vices, was temperance. [And it is very interesting because, as we will see in the next part, the Church itself while fighting licentiousness was often guilty of the vice of insensibility, at least by Ancient Greek ethics). Plato also had some things to say about gluttony: more precisely he explained that eating and drinking in itself was fine. Plato held in his belief that when a man ate a good meal, and drank some wine, it made him more sociable and more thoughtful – as in, it encouraged conversation, it encouraged sharing, discussing and debating, it allowed the thought to be sharper as you lost some of your shyness or inhibitions that wouldn’t have allowed you to say the truth or interesting things… But Plato also pointed out that when a man ate too much, and drank too much, this was where everything was spoiled – when a man made himself heavy, nauseous and drunk, his speech became disorganized and incoherent, his thoughts blurry and foggy, and all he did was fall under the table and roll there like a mindless beast. A bit of food and wine sharpens the wit ; too much food and wine blunts the mind.

6) Gluttony might be the worst of all the sins! At least according to some theologians. You see, there is an Original Sin in the Christian religion, the sin that introduced evil into the world and that doomed humanity: Adam and Eve eating the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden. And there is a VERY big debate in the Christian religion as to what exactly is the nature of this original sin. For some it is the sin of pride (which is classified as the king and roots of all other sins), for others the original sin was rather disobedience – but there is a firm position and a large group of theologians that rather claimed the Original Sin was the sin of gluttony, since it was about eating a fruit… This interpretation did not really stick, but it exists, and so if you ever want to include gluttony as a theme in whatever fiction you want to write, you can imagine it as the original sin that doomed humanity if you wish it so, or at the first and oldest of the seven deadly sins!

In fact, there is an English legend that does depict gluttony (in its drunkenness form) as one of the worst sins of all: it is an obscure medieval legend surrounding the figure of saint John of Beverley. According to this tale, before John was a saint, when he was still a regular man, he met the devil and the devil forced him to choose between three sins he offered him: drunkenness, rape and murder. John thought he could trick the devil and so instead of becoming a rapist or a murderer, he chose to be a drunkard, thinking it would be the lesser of the sins. But he didn’t know that gluttony always led to lust and rage… He ended up in such a drunk stupor and such a drunk state that one day, when returning to his bedroom, he entered the wrong room, and found in what he thought to be his bed a woman asleep… Overtaken by lust, John forced himself upon the woman, and when another man entered the room to stop him, John killed him in a drunken rage. Only once the fumes of alcohol had dissipated did he realize he had raped his mother and killed his father… There is a less Oedipian variation of this legend, where the victim of both John’s rape and murder is actually his own sister – but the message is the same. Gluttony might look like a lesser sin, but it always leads to darker and more dire consequences.

 IV) Gluttony, through religion and society

As I said above, gluttony is a very social sin – and so to fully understand it, we must understand how it impacted or was influenced by the way Christianity lived and existed, and the way medieval society organized itself. Because back in those days, religion and society made one.

1) Medieval Christian society was suffering from a massive eating disorder. This tongue-in-cheek affirmation actually reflects something very true: the way the medieval European society had organized itself, based on the religious principles of Christianity (Catholicism to be precise), created a cycle of under-eating and over-eating which, in light of the theologians’ view of gluttony, allows one to understand the particular relationship these people had towards food.

The Christian year had two big forty-days period during it, that were fasting periods, where all the Christians had to abandon meat, eggs and other rich products, limit their food intake, reduce their meals, and live a very dry and hungry life. The most famous of those two periods, because it is still practiced today, is of course Lent, which is still known as the “grim and sad part of the Christian year”, and the other is, quite surprisingly, the Advent. Today we think of the Advent calendar with its chocolates, but in older times, the Advent was just a wintery Lent. Officially, these forty-days of fasting existed to commemorate the sacrifice and suffering of Christ and affiliated characters, and to prepare the Christians for the big religious holidays that came afterward (Christmas for the Advent, the Holy Week/Easter for Lent) – but historians and sociologist know today that unofficially, these two-fasting corresponded to the most infertile and hungrier part of the year, where food was very scarce and famines were most likely to explode. So it was actually kind of a religious excuse for the lack of food due to the poor climate and bad harvests.

But in return, each of these fasting periods was cornered by celebrations of overeating, where everybody stuffed their face as much as they could – people stuffed their gut before undergoing the fasting because they knew it was their last time eating good things, and then people busted their bellies once the restrictions were over to celebrate the return to “normal”. The Church of course heavily criticized and complained about these explosions of gluttony, but they realized it was kind of needed for people to swallow the pills of Lent and Advent. As a result, we had the apparition of Mardi Gras, “Fat Tuesday”, the last day of eating meat and fat before Lent, where people guzzled down as much meat and butter and fried stuff as they could, while Easter at the end of Lent was all about a large meal with multiple course, beautiful roasts, and lots of eggs and chocolate. Similarly, the fasting of the Advent was part of why Christmas became a jolly and merry feast where people stuffed themselves as much as the animals they ate, and got severely drunk. As for the last of the “four corners”, it would be Saint Martin’s Day, a Christian feast day that fell in the days preceding the beginning of the Advent and which was known as “The Day of the Pig”, since each farm and household had a pig they had fattened up throughout the year, and on Martin’s Day it was time to kill the pig and turn him into all sorts of meats and delicatessen – a killing that was celebrated by enormous banquets and large meals of ribs, sausages, and other forms of pig meat. So, to summarize it all, the Christian medieval society kept oscillating between belly-bursting festivals and monthly strict diets, switching very brutally between gluttony and hunger.

2) Beyond these big events of the calendar, the regular Christian medieval life was very… problematic when it came to food, and encouraged some strange behaviors.

Many people think that of the three Religions of the Book, Christianity is the easiest when it comes to food, due to lacking the strict alimentary restrictions of Judaism and Islam. But it wasn’t always like that, and Christianity used to be very big on limiting and forbidding food. As you might or might not know, since Christianity demonized gluttony and made of temperance a virtue, for it the practice of fasting was a good and holy thing. Before great religious rituals or important holidays, people underwent some fasting to purify themselves. You were forbidden to eat or drink before mass, so that the ritual wouldn’t be “soiled”. Priests and monks and men of the Church limited their food intake, regularized their meals and did frequent fasting to keep their mind clear and their thoughts sharp. Fasting was also a common penance after confessing a sin – it was a way to clean one’s soul for whatever petty or venial evil you committed. This was tied to specific religious bans on certain foods – you might have heard of how up until a very recent day, Christians did not eat meat on Fridays, rather going for fish due to religious reasons. The ban of meat on Fridays was a very big thing in medieval societies, so much that there were big religious debates about what kind of animal you could and could not eat in Fridays (for example, powerful lords managed to tweak the religious rule by convincing churchmen to claim that swans were not actually true birds, and rather counted as fishes due to living in the water – so that Christians could still eat some meat on Friday). During the Renaissance, as cooking became an art and chefs were recognized as artists, a new trick developed itself: the disguising and sculpting of food. For example, some chefs cooked and reshaped fishes into the shape of a ham or a roast, so that nobles and aristocrats could still have the illusion of eating meat on Fridays.

I know, I know – all these peculiar food obsessions and picky eating are literally the kind of gluttony I described at the very beginning of my last post, the people who are obsessed with limiting their quantities and measuring their portions… It was! But in the Middle Ages it was thought to be a good and virtuous behavior, and we had to wait for our modern times for people to realize that maybe it was just as obsessive and unhealthy as the overeating gluttony. And this unhealthiness notably showed up in the Church itself…

3) You see, originally monks and priests, in the early Church, were really, REALLY hating gluttony’s guts. Being a man of the Church was basically starving yourself constantly.

The first monk who created the list of the seven deadly sins, Evagrius Ponticus, was part of a community that lived in the desert, far away from fields, farms or cities, isolating themselves in a dry and arid land purposefully to find God. This reduced them to a very poor and lacking life – and Evagrius based his original list of vices based on the flaws he noticed among his fellow desert-monks. Gluttony was then a big problem because these communities purposefully secluded themselves in a life with limited rations of food, and so whenever one monk hogged it all to himself, he condemned the others to starve.

For a very long time, the Church was so intensely decided to fight off gluttony they want to the extreme of declaring that merely enjoying food was bad! Yep, they were convinced that (just like with sex) if you felt the slightest pleasure or joy when eating, you were a sinner doomed to hell. Eating (again, just like sex) was supposed to be a body function like breathing, and thus not supposed to be enjoyed. Eating was supposed to be merely to survive, it wasn’t supposed to be a game, an entertainment or a passion. For these fanatics, the pleasure of eating was in itself a sin of gluttony, and food had to be swallowed, not tasted, eaten but not enjoyed. Saint Augustin for example (yet another big authority on the deadly sins) held this belief, that finding pleasure in food was an insult or offense to God since (in his very warped view), one should only find pleasure in God and nothing else.

This resulted in extremely strict table etiquette in monasteries – for example in some places you were ordered to chew your food a given amount of time before swallowing it to avoid yourself becoming too “fancy” when eating. In many orders you only had two meals a day, in the morning and evening, with a ban on all meat (or just the meat of four-legged animals), and an interdiction to speak during the mealtime. In order to avoid those harsh restrictions, monks found a ruse, especially those of the Saint Benedict order, that created in their monasteries a special room called the “misericord”, a room inside the religious building that was thought to represent and embody, the outside, secular, non-religious world. As a result, since the food restrictions were only supposed to be applied INSIDE the monastery, the monks could go in this room to stuff their face and eat the forbidden food, since this room was technically “outside” of the building.

Of course this rejection of food did cause a problem to all those church men and friars when they were invited to a feast or a banquet by a lord, king or nobleman, since they were forced to eat, it was the rule of hospitality – if you rejected your host’s food, you insulted him… Saint Francis of Assisi, who founded the mendicant order (begging friars) of the Franciscan, was especially concerned with this, since his entire religious model was based on depending on the charity and generosity of others, and when the others wanted to thank you with large, fatty, heavy meals, it was the road to gluttony… So he invented the solution of carrying with him a bag of ash everywhere, so that when he (or his brothers) were given a meal too rich for them, they would sprinkle the ashes on top. Like that they could eat everything… But without enjoying it! Because again, the Church has a massive obsession with just not enjoying food. This was the early times of the Church and the Middle Ages, when monks and priest were basically walking colorless skeletons… The perfect image of Lent. In fact, this was something very specific to monks: “the perpetual Lent”. Monks were forced into an eternal state of Lent, which meant they could never in their life eat things such as meat or butter.

Things changed when we reached the late Middle Ages! Things changed a LOT. On one side, the Church became more lenient towards food stuff. The eternal Lent vow was removed, so that monks and priests could eat meat and fatty products. The Pope Innocent XI asserted that no, enjoying food was NOT a sin, that it was natural to enjoy food, and that it was impossible to eat without some sort of pleasure – and that saints like Augustin might have been a bit too fanatical. Plus, if food was placed on Earth by God, and if God created our bodies so we had to eat, and if God organized things so that we would enjoy food, it doesn’t make sense – and is almost heretical – to believe enjoying food as God planned would be insulting God… Innocent clarified that it was normal to feel pleasure and joy when eating good and tasty food, and that the real sin derived from when people enjoyed food that was not good, pleasant or morally acceptable – and that similarly, meals were to be enjoyed, and only became a sin if you partake with enthusiasm in a “wrong” meal (organized for the wrong reasons, at indecent times, etc…).

Finally, the Church became filthy rich, as they became vast land-owners, turned into merchants (since monasteries were farms and craftsmen shop), seated with lords and noblemen in their castle, and imposed taxes left and right. So, less food restrictions, their boss telling them it as okay to enjoy eating, and a new wave of riches… The “fat monk” comes in. This very famous and widespread cliché of the monk as a fat drunkard was a stereotype spread by the very literature and arts of the late Middle Ages, but it was because indeed monasteries started to become embodiments of gluttony, as the monks started to feast and party on all the good food they had, and since all they did all long was sit around, pray and read, all this excess of wine and food quickly went to their waistline. It was actually part of a wider phenomenon where the Church through corruption became its own antithesis, since monasteries also started to have monks inviting women or prostitutes in, and the higher-ups of the Church being bought with money. In fact, it was this burst of gluttony, lust and greed that was part of the Reformation and the Protestants splitting from the decadent Catholic church: Luther criticized the theologians that had turned into “theologastrists”, worshippers of their own belly who wouldn’t recognize Lent even if it hit them in the face, and who celebrated masses in their kitchen.

4) Another example of how the early extremes of “sacred starvation” were VERY unhealthy, and it is a good thing they changed, is the case of a few saints, female saints, known today as the “Holy Anorexics”. Back then, these women were heralded as saints for taking asceticism to its most extreme, but today we can look back and identify all the symptoms of anorexia, that religion wrongfully glorified. You can find it under the term “Anorexia mirabilis”: it was this firm belief by young girls and women that by starving themselves they could share and honor the suffering of the Christ, and the practice of creating hunger-induced hallucinations to have visions of the “glory of God”. The most famous of those “anorexic saints” was Catherine of Siena, who rejected all forms of food to stay pure, only ate what was given to her at the Eucharist, refused to obey her superior’s orders to eat (since they saw she was getting ill and told her she was going too far), and even induced vomiting with a twig. This was the extremes the fear of gluttony could bring one to.

And this allows me to fall back on a fascinating parallel: the destruction of one’s body. This is one of the argument that the Church raised against the sin of gluttony, that one of its nasty effects was the sickening, soiling and destruction of the body, which is supposed to be a gift of God and a thing one should take care of. Nausea, digestive problems, diarrhea, gout, obesity, indigestions, heartburns, heart and liver diseases, were all condemned as the “evils” and “diseases” of gluttony by religious men and doctors alike. This was one of the warnings against gluttony: do not keep on this path, or you’ll end up in a bloated, sick and painful body. But in a paradoxical way, the destruction of the body was also the argument that served to destroy and oppose the opposite extreme the Church went to. Continuing with the topic of the “holy anorexics”, they were very divisive cases because very often they became very obviously sick, and by their stern refusal of eating they doomed themselves to die. While some glorified them as “saints”, another part of the Church rather condemned them as doing the exact same thing gluttons did with their body, ruining it and self-harming it due to an obsession with food. In fact, in the Renaissance, there was a group of theologians that created a specific sub-type of gluttony focused on phenomena such as this “holy anorexia”.

It is a lesser, not-well-known type of gluttony known as “spiritual gluttony”. It might seem very abstract for non-religious people, because its official definition is “seeking in exaggerated and obsessive ways the pleasure of God and the comforts of God, the same way gluttons seek obsessively and exaggeratedly the pleasures of food and the comforts of meals”. What does it mean? In practice it means for example – accumulating fasts and keep fasting despite your religious superior or religious authority’s orders of stopping, because it is clearly bad for your body. It can also mean, keep accumulating penances, even when you don’t need it anymore, just for the perceived pleasure of “purifying” yourself through them. It can also be translated as, for example, continuously praying and praying so much you start ignoring your actual job or your other duties; or, reading so much religious texts and studying so much religious topics you neglect your family, your friends or the human/social aspect of your life. Or growing an addiction to things such as confession, never getting enough and constantly getting confessed. This is very interesting because it shows that the Church itself, through time, ended up recognizing that gluttony could exist outside of food and drinks, under the shape of forceful and obsessive accumulations and addictions to pleasurable and comforting things. Because it is the very essence of gluttony: self-pleasure, self-comfort, but taken to such a point, such an extreme, that the pleasure becomes nauseating and the comfort harmful or wasteful.

5) More of a trivia than anything else, despite the early Church’s hatred of food and eating, the New Testament (aka the purely Christian part of the Bible) is notorious for being filled with banquets scenes and descriptions. Some people go as far as call the Gospels “the books where people eat all the time”, and Jesus himself is noted to take part in a lot of those feasts. There’s the Wedding at Cana where the Christ turns the water into wine, there’s the feast at Zaccheus’ house to which the Christ participates, and there’s of course the miracle of the multiplication of breads and fishes to feed the crowd… But, as theologians observed, in the last example, despite Jesus summoning enough food to leave an entire crowd satisfied, there are still leftovers once everyone’s hunger is satisfied, and people do not force themselves to continue eating. The crowd eats its fill, enough to not be hungry anymore, but doesn’t just devour everything gluttonously. Heck, the first temptation Satan uses against the Christ when he spends forty days in the desert (the forty days commemorated by Lent), is the temptation of food, as Satan suggests Jesus could just turn stones into bread to satisfy his hunger – showing that Jesus was a guy who could be won over by food.

Theologians did use stories and tales from the Bible to illustrate the sin of gluttony – but they usually did so by taking elements of the Ancient Testament, not the New one. The most famous “gluttony stories” of the Bible are Esau selling his birthright for a dish of lentils, Holofernes’s love for drinking being used against him by Judith, and the drunkenness of Noah which led to him humiliating himself and then cursing his own children. Given we are on a kink topic, I will also mention a fascinating secondary character of the Ancient Testament, which also embodies gluttony: king Eglon, who was a notorious glutton only living for eating, shitting, and then eating some more, and renowned as massively obese. When he was killed by a murderer who plunged his sword inside his belly, the sword was literally sucked up in the fat of the king, his murderer unable to retrieve it – but this also made the weapon of the crime disappear. And the death of the king wasn’t even noticed for some times, as his servants mistook the position and behavior of his dead body, hunched over his chair, for their king relieving himself as he so often did…

[indestructibleheart]

8 & 19?

8. What project(s) are you currently working on?

My main project right now is easing my way back into writing by doing a deep edit on the Landing It series, which is gonna include moving some of what was originally posted as 'Signature Move' into the first part I posted ('The Outside Edge') and expanding on 'Signature Move' quite a bit. I put a lot of pressure on myself to make it feel complete enough to post it, and I ended up not being happy with it... so I'm gonna try and fix that.

I also have a couple WIPs that I haven't touched since I had to step away because of some personal stuff, but I do plan on getting back to my Eternal Sunshine AU and that weird AU I posted snippets of where David and Alexis start getting photographs from another timeline. Oh, and there's another lil thing that I didn't actually start, but I think about really regularly...

19. Give us a small teaser from one of your WIPs.

Here is a piece of a scene from Labyrinth:

Before David can respond, the colors around him begin to swirl, blurring into each other as he’s transported to another memory. He knows where he’s going long before his vision clears; it’s the obvious next stop in the chronological timeline his life with Patrick has been reduced to. Nevertheless, his stomach drops when he finds himself on the street outside Rose Apothecary anyway, the words “I” and “love” and “you” waiting on the tip of his tongue.

He can see her through the large picture windows, ginger hair cascading off her shoulders. It’s the second time David has seen her in the store, the first time being that morning while Patrick picked up their lunch from the café.

“I’m just stalling before I go see my fiancé,” she’d said.

David had raised his brows. “Stalling?”

“We haven’t talked in a while. I thought… Maybe Singles’ Week was a good time to break the ice — y’know, remind him of what we have.”

When David pushes through the doors of the store he and Patrick had built together, what she has, however, is her petite hands on his boyfriend’s delectable forearms.

“David,” Patrick says, his voice cracking on the ‘a.’

The redhead turns, flashing him a smile. “Oh, hey,” she pipes, like they’re old friends. “Looks like I found him — I had no idea this was his store, too. So weird, right?”

David’s mouth goes dry. “Patrick is your fiancé?”

“Ex-fiancé,” Patrick, to his credit, is quick to say. “Rachel, David —”

His head shakes so rapidly that it makes him dizzy.  “ — needs some air,” he finishes for him, waving his hands in front of him. “I need some air.”

David turns on his heel, practically falling out the door in his haste to get away. Behind him, he hears Patrick say his name, but he doesn’t stop — not this time. He doesn’t need to relive any more of this. He doesn’t need to hear his ex-boyfriend’s pleading apologies or “You make me feel right, David.” He doesn’t need to reiterate how fucking damaged he is or how deeply this betrayal cuts. Instead, he lets those three words roll off his tongue here, where the real Patrick won’t hear them:

“I loved you.”

And the memory fades.

[papirouge]

Papi, I need your wisdom. Lately, I've been checking some channels that stream games and for some reason I've been really wanting to do the same on Youtube. Truth to be told, it seems sort of fun, and it's not like talking while you play a videogame it's too difficult. I guess I'd like to do something different in my life, even if its something small like this, and I'd like to try Youtube and get comments and engagement.

I do admit though, that another thing that I find compeling it's that you can also win money. Like if you open a patreon or through ad revenue, you could monetize your content. It'd be nice to have some money for myself aside from my usual job.

The thing is, I don't know if it'd be worth it at the end. i really don't want to show my face, I'm pretty shy and with all of this ai porn it really scares me that something like that could happen to me. But it seems that for a lot of female streamers, showing your face and how you look in general its part of the appeal. I don't know if I could get a following only because I talk about stuff while playing games without revealing who i am.

I feel like I could get somewhat popular because I'd be filling a niche that's not really very popular in my language, which is retro games. But I don't know how well received a female gamer would be, like its not like gamers are the kindest of demographics, lets be honest.

I've also thought about playing those games that are aimed at girls, because that's also something that tends to get ignored, and if it is reviewed or played, its by a male gamer that makes fun of it. I think if I go for this, I could have a bigger female following, and perhaps other girls could feel more confident in also exploring these kind of endevours...

I'm gonna be honest, anon:

Gaming is a nest of scrotes, groomers, pedo, perverts and there's hardly a way for women to make a place for themselves if they don't A)whore themselves out OR are B)extremely good at what they're doing. And even when they dl, they still get sexualized.... Are you A or B ?

If A : sexualizing yourself online is a very slippery slope and you will inevitably end up regretting later (especially if you already have self awareness issues showing yourself online). Don't do it.

If B: if your skills are good enough, you might as well not show your face altogether. Plentiful of streamer are very lowkey with their face, and some HUGE walkthrough channels NEVER show their face. But you'd have to be EXTREMELY productive and regularly update. As a YouTuber wannabe, I can tell you that filming and editing is EXTREMELY time consuming and that you'll have to dedicate a lot of effort that won't necessarily translate into view/engagement.... That's a very long and one-sided effort that you'll have to provide before finally reaping the fruits of.

The only way to bypass this long process is finding a niche. Do something that might not be for everyone, but will stil attract a committed audience. Exactly like some Tumblr have a very limited amount of followers but who still engage a lot with their posts (it happens when most of their followers are friends or mutuals). For example I follow a male french YouTuber (which is quite exceptional bc male YouTuber feel like nails on a black board) but dude is committed to a very defined theme of video : Five Nights at Freddy's, Hollow Knight, The Binding of Isaac, Minecraft, One Piece and Berserk new chapter analysis. That's it. I like his channel because it feels like what YouTube early days : passionate, rough but authentic. His biggest video is a 2 hours analysis of Fnaf timeline (825k views, when he only has 32k followers) - that's how I knew his channel.

Dude hardly shows his face and I think covering a very limited range of games helps him stay focus and upload more frequently. I think if you want to start on YouTube, you should take a few pages of his book.

But making videos is marathon anon, I wouldn't advise it to you if you want short term results. You should really to it because you *like* making videos, not only what you *do* on video. Like yeah playing video games is cool but do you like talking for hours? Even when no one's watching? Maintain a regular updating schedule? etc etc

Filming is only 20% of the work. Editing is A LOT. ...unless you only want to do streaming? But it goes back to point B and how to detach yourself from the gazillion of other streamers. Tbh I'd recommend you to do something no one else can. That's why I decided to do YouTube/podcast imo In the long run I'd like to show more of my unhinged Christian side but also vulnerability (see my laster video talking about my hair issues). I'm just struggling to find a way that's not to weird or cringe bc video format is very demanding.

[theabstruseone]

I think there are three different discussions going on here.

Discussion One: Should art that has problematic content be allowed to exist?

This is a silly stance to take. I mean, are you saying that no story is allowed to have villains anymore? Because the villainous things that villains do in stories are problematic. Otherwise they wouldn't be villainous. So I'm not really sure what the end goal would be for someone who sincerely advocates for this.

Discussion Two: Should art that has problematic content be censored?

This one has a big more of a grey area that you might thing because of the flexibility of the word "censored". On the one side going all the way to a ridiculous extreme, this means that all art should be accessible by anyone at any time including showing hardcore pornography to small children and instructions on how to create nuclear weapons to convicted terrorists. Because to do otherwise would be censoring that art for those groups. The other extreme side is straight-up 1984/Fahrenheit 451 levels of book burning and information restriction where not only is art permanently destroyed but it's hunted down to be removed entirely from memory. I think we can agree that both of these two situations are not ideal.

Therefore, there's some middle ground where access to some art is restricted in some way so that some people do not have access to it. And there is a lot of discussion to be had as to where precisely that line should be drawn - For example, "Should it be parents deciding for their children or should some art always be accessible to them regardless of their parents' wishes?" That's a damn good discussion right there because there are benefits and drawbacks to each approach.

Discussion Three: Should art be condemned if it contains problematic content in a way that aggrandizes that content?

This one's even stickier because society and culture change. What's considered problematic today may not be problematic tomorrow (like showing an interracial couple or a same-gender couple on screen was scandalous a few decades ago but now is so benign that both show up regularly in commercials) and what is considered fine today may be problematic tomorrow (blackface, protagonists slapping women because they're "too loud", words that were common or even legal terms at the time becoming considered racial slurs).

That said, there are some pretty clear-cut cases of which I will talk about two, one of which was mentioned in the post above mine and one of which was alluded to: Birth of a Nation and Triumph of the Wills.

Let me start off with a controversial statement that should not be controversial: Neither of these films are important to the history of film as a medium. I had a film professor who said we should watch Birth of a Nation because it is the first feature film ever made and thus has an important place in history. Except The Story of the Kelly Gang released in 1906 was over a decade earlier than the 1915 release of Birth of a Nation. Hell, there were TWO feature-length adaptations of Oliver Twist prior to that, one made in the UK and one in the US on top of at least a dozen other multi-reel feature-length films.

The same professor tried to say that Triumph of the Wills was important because of its innovative cinematography and editing. Which, again, bullshit. Also another claim used to justify continued study of Birth of a Nation. In both cases, neither film did anything "first". No camera angles, styles of shot, special effect, transition type, or anything else was new in either film and had been done many times before. The only difference was scale - Birth of a Nation was endorsed by pro-segregationist politicians in Washington DC and Triumph of the Wills was directly by the government of Nazi Germany. In both cases, this gave the films far greater stature than their quality warrants because they were used as propaganda for the Ku Klux Klan and the Nazis.

Should these films be destroyed and removed from existence? No. That should be pretty clear from my point above. However, that does not mean they cannot be condemned nor that those who want to continue using the films in educational curricula should not be criticized. There is a distinct difference between attempting to destroy history and putting it in its proper context to be studied without promoting those works. Want to do a course on racism in film? Those are two great examples of films to teach. But if you're just doing a course on filmmaking techniques and try to pull the "Product of its time" bullshit with literal KKK and Nazi propaganda that were condemned by many at the time they were released, fuck that.

To cut my ranting about the state of film education short and get back to the point...

These are three separate discussions that are being conflated into one. This serves nobody except for those who are trying to dunk on others by "Well ackshually"ing them by jumping between discussions. Talking about the use of problematic material in a work of art is not the same thing as talking about art that serves as propaganda or otherwise promotes harmful beliefs and behavior like racism, homophobia, misogyny, transphobia, ableism, and worse. Anyone arguing that any art should be permanently erased is not doing so in good faith unless they're the types that would be tossing books onto the bonfire themselves.

There are important discussions to be had when it comes to how we release and restrict access to art. Those discussions can't be had when we're not talking about the same thing.

Your personal triggers and squicks do not get to determine what kind of art other people make.

People make shit. It's what we do. We make shit to explore, to inspire, to explain, to understand, but also to cope, to process, to educate, to warn, to go, "hey, wouldn't that be fucked up? Wild, right?"

Yes, sure, there are things that should be handled with care if they are used at all. But plenty more things are subjective. Some things are just not going to be to your tastes. So go find something that is to your tastes and stop worrying so much about what other people are doing and trying to dictate universal moral precepts about art based on your personal triggers and squicks.

I find possession stories super fucking triggering if I encounter them without warning, especially if they function as a sexual abuse metaphor. I'm not over here campaigning for every horror artist to stop writing possession stories because they make me feel shaky and dissociated. I just check Does The Dog Die before watching certain genres, and I have my husband or roommate preview anything I think might upset me so they can give me more detail. And if I genuinely don't think I can't handle it, I don't watch it. It's that simple.

[landgraabbed]

listen.... sometimes @larularo helps your conversion to mm eyelashes and then you finally find the overlay to replace mal’s with like you’ve been planning for a while and you end up with slightly different looks halfway through an aspiration

[beauty-and-passion]

I think Thomas needs a dedicated community manager or something if he doesn't want to face criticism directly or is too busy to give updates on what he's working on every week. One thing I particularly don't like is how it feels like he schedules the livestreams almost last minute, especially for weekdays in the evening for him, but at incredibly awkward times for other zones, often falling in the middle of the workday or late at night. This is particularly egregious for the writer's rooms, which aren't archived for people who can't attend live and makes me wonder why I am paying him $25 a month for a "bonus" that I can't participate in or even see what I missed, and that occurs less than monthly. I understand that he's busy and things slip through the cracks, but this is a pattern now and it seems so haphazardly slapped together that it feels like the Patreon is no longer a priority for him. I definitely feel like he was much more consistent about doing monthly livestreams when he was doing them for the YouTube members for $5 a month with no bonuses, and at least those were archived for months until he switched to Patreon.

Sorry for the rant but these frustrations have been building up more and more. It's been two years since the Patreon started, Thomas and his crew should have had things better organized by now, or at least give the Patreon patrons some actual updates instead of spending all of his time on Twitter.

I understand your frustration and it makes sense that, after two years, you expect some more organization.

There could be a lot of reasons why Thomas' Patreon is still so disorganized: maybe Mr. Sanders doesn't have the actual time to work on it, he's too busy with other projects or he just doesn't feel like doing it.

And it's a real shame, because a lot of people use Patreon in great ways. I am not an expert, but as far as I know, some creators use it regularly and make it worth every cent people are paying. Some give updates about the progress of their works, including the most technical aspects (materials, softwares, editing, hiring process etc). Others show a lot of behind-the-scenes or post small previews of their projects before the full thing comes out. Others use it to talk with their followers and develop a stronger relationship.

There are a lot of possibilities and it’s very sad Mr. Sanders doesn't want to make the most of them. His Patreon doesn't give me the idea of a place regularly checked or fully exploited, but rather of a big room simply used as storage, in which sometimes Thomas puts a new box, then leaves again.

Don't get me wrong: if he doesn't want to spend too much time on it, he's free to do so. However, it would also look very unprofessional, because Patreon's purpose is exactly  to interact with people, give them something and make their money worth. Leaving something once in a while isn't exactly professional. And just like the other big problem of the series (the lack of a full outline), could be solved by hiring a professional who deals with it on Thomas’ behalf.

Speaking of leaving stuff, there is the mistery behind the livestreams. I tried so, so hard to understand why Thomas decided to keep the livestreams around for a very short time, then delete them. I am still searching for a reason and I still cannot find it. Why deleting them? What about the people who cannot watch them because of plans/personal problems/different timezones and want to watch them days later? What if they’re busy and cannot watch them days, but weeks later? They lose the chance, because the livestream disappeared.

Really, I have no explanation for this, so if someone knows something and can give me an explanation that makes sense, I would really appreciate it.

[heyitsmeyuhh]

Blood and Wine (mafia!Suna Rintaro x reader)

AN// Hey y’all, I’m back! I recently started a grad program, so I’ll be posting when I can. I’ve been so excited to post this story because I feel like I had so much inspiration for it, but I wanted to get a few chapters in so I didn’t have to keep going back to edit the details as I went. I’ll try to update my other story when I get more written, but I’ve been so focused on getting this one up and going. Feel free to message me if you guys want to! 

TW// Mention of drugs, some violence and blood, some suggestive language. 

WC// 2K+

Chapter 1

He had been watching her closely for a few weeks now, eyes drifting down her neck, her chest, her ass. She drifted through his club, unaware of his predatory gaze looming over her. She had been coming here regularly for a few weeks now and she always played the same game: she’d let a few guys buy her drinks, she’d pretend to drink them, and then she’d slip into the corner to buy drugs before immediately leaving.

He always observed her little ritual, wondering what a girl like her was doing buying drugs, let alone in a club like his. Suna Rintaro, head of the Inarizaki clan and owner of over half of the adult clubs in the city, was intrigued by this pretty little nobody. With just the flick of his wrist he could get anything, or anyone that he wanted. In the beginning, that kind of power was intoxicating. Now, he’s just bored. There’s no fun if there’s no chase, and he’d lost the need to chase anything years ago. She was the first thing to spark his interest in a very long time.

Suna sat above the house in the VIP area and drank up her body, her movements, her sultry smile. She would often flirt with the Johns who were buying her fruity little drinks, but Suna could see the distaste on her face when they would turn away. It gave him a sick sense of pride, knowing that she has rejected every last one of them, a covetous sensation slowly bleeding into his black heart every time he saw her. She gave him a sense of excitement when he watched her, one he hadn’t felt since the other yakuza factions had ended the turf wars and drawn territorial lines for the sake of peace. He had the same feeling when he put a bullet in the brain of Ukai Ikkei, former head of the Black Jackals.

Tonight, Suna saw her walk over to the same corner that she had bought from for the last few nights. She pulled a wad of cash out of her bra and slipped it to the dealer between her index and middle finger. She looks like a pro, he thought with a hint of admiration, but this feeling passed as he cocked his head in her direction, signaling his men. As she slipped the tiny plastic baggie into the same spot she had retrieved her money, Suna could see Miya Atsumu grab her arm and whisper something into her ear.

He rose from the couch and walked to the railing of the platform with his drink. He stood, back to the stairs as he swirled the vodka around in the cup absently. He could hear a small struggle as the twins made their way up to where he was waiting, quiet grunts coming from the struggling girl. No one in the club was paying her any mind, the bass of the music pounding over all other sound. The two men dropped her on the floor behind Suna, and he slowly turned as she stood.

She was just as gorgeous in person as she was from afar. Her slate grey eyes met his cool green ones with anger, challenging him. Her bleached blonde hair was disheveled from the struggle, but it hung around her shoulders and down her back like a cascade. She had a sharp jawline leading down to a slender neck and full breasts, lined by the skin-tight black bodysuit she was wearing. Suna’s eyes devoured her figure, but he kept his expression level.

“What do you think you’re doing?” she spat at him, facing him with no hint of fear in her eyes.

“I could ask you the same question,” he answered flatly.

“I was having a good time until your little goons dragged me up here!”

“Goons?” Atsumu asked, looking at his brother, clearly offended. Suna glanced at him sideways and he shut up again.

His eyes shifted back to the girl. “Don’t lie to me, I know why you come here,” Suna raised his eyebrow expectantly, “Y/n.” Her eyes flashed with a glint of fear, and he could see her façade starting to crack.

“How do you know my name?” she leaned back imperceptibly, subconsciously putting some distance between her and Suna, but she didn’t step back. She glanced around to Suna’s men scattered around the VIP lounge, confusion and suspicion replacing her anger.

Suna turned to the silent twin and gave a slight nod. He turned to leave, and the blonde moved behind Y/n.  Soon, Miya Osamu came from the back room, wrestling a scrawny man to the floor. He put his boot on his back and grabbed a fistful of hair to yank his head back to look at the group. The bump of the music in the background was loud enough to drown out the man’s grunts, but the scream ripping from her throat was clear to Suna.  

“No!” she tried taking a step toward her brother, but Atsumu grabbed her arms to hold her in place. “Let him go, what are you doing?” She kicked and struggled, but she couldn’t overcome the strength of the blonde twin behind her.

“Calm down, bunny, you’ll ruin that beautiful skin of yours if you keep struggling.” Suna ran the back of his fingers down the soft flesh of her arm and she jerked back away from his touch.

“Don’t you ever call me that,” she threatened darkly. He set his jaw and continued.

Suna began to walk slowly between the two siblings. “Unfortunately, you see, we can’t let him go. The last time we did that, he decided to use his sweet sister to spend my money on my product.” He kneeled down on one knee in front of the man, powerless on the ground. “I can’t have that again.” Suna’s arm wound up behind him and he struck the man in the face, ripping his hair from Osamu’s grasp. Y/n screamed behind him again as he stood slowly, cleaning the blood from his fingers with a handkerchief.

“What do you mean your money?” She looked at Suna with wild eyes. Her chest was heaving from the exertion, and her hair was tossed back over her slender shoulders. Suna walked right up to her, inches from her chest, close enough to notice the heat radiating from her body. He nodded for the second time at Atsumu and he released her arms, but not without her yanking her arm from his grasp.

“Well, bunny, I’m sorry to inform you but your brother here owes me a lot of money. Gambling debts, most likely, but I don’t stick my nose in other people’s financial decisions,” Suna’s eyes glanced at her breasts, again, the small baggie peeking out from under the lining of her bra. He smiled slyly and continued. “However, I had come to collect, and when I confronted him a month ago, he seemingly disappeared. That’s when I noticed a pretty little girl spending time at the bar before buying–” he slipped two fingers into the hem of her shirt and slipped out the baggie of white powder–“drugs.” He waved it a moment in front of her face before sliding it into the breast pocket on his suit. She looked down, avoiding eye contact.

He walked in a semi-circle around her slowly, like a lion toying with its prey, as he continued. “It was quite obvious that someone like you was not deep into hard substances, so you really do stand out when you come back for more. That’s when I did a little digging, and what do I find, but your brother, skipping out on his debts, but still finding enough to ‘buy’ my product.” Suna looked to the side, where the dealer from earlier was hiding in the shadows. He motioned for him to bring over the bundle of cash that she had paid him with earlier.

By this time, the man on the ground had begun to struggle and plead incoherently. The blow to the face had knocked out a front tooth and his check was too swollen to allow him to speak properly. His eye was beginning to darken, but he persisted. Osamu grabbed his hair again and slammed his face into the marble flooring, spattering droplets of red across the beautiful white. Y/n shrieked for him to stop, but her feet were glued to the floor where she stood.

“How much have you paid in the last month?” Suna asked calmly.

“I don’t know, please just stop!” She cried.

“How much?”

“¥170,000,” she said hesitantly.

“¥170,000,” he repeated. He walked up right behind her, leaning over her shoulder to whisper in her ear. “Did you know he owes me over ¥5.5 million?”

A shiver rippled down her spine and tears formed in her eyes, her tough demeanor finally cracking completely. He could see the panic written on her face as he prepared to dispose of her brother. But, he wasn’t a complete monster, despite his reputation, and he turned to Atsumu and ordered him to escort her from the bar while he took care of the dirty work.

“Wait, please, I’ll give you anything!” She turned to face Suna, looking up at him with her shining silver eyes. “Please don’t kill him.” Suna could hear the man groan, Osamu having yanked him up by his hair to a standing position again. Blood had dried on his nose and mouth, and his cheekbone was clearly shattered, leaving his eye to swell shut.

Suna was no stranger to family member’s begging for their loved one’s life, but for some reason he was taken aback by her offer. His eyes darkened, and his voice deepened. “You should be very careful about what you offer to me.”

“Please,” she begged, her eyes pleading with Suna, unaware of the power she was willingly sacrificing to him. He noted the silence emanating from her brother, making no move to protest her bargain.

Suna set his jaw and grinned imperceptibly. His shoulders rolled back, and he towered over the girl. He reached up and grabbed her chin roughly. She winced but held eye contact with the dark figure looming over her.

“Well, then, this is an interesting proposition. Atsumu, what do you think this girl has to offer me that could be worth 5 million?” The blonde shook his head but remained silent. “Osamu?” The silver-headed twin did the same. Her eyes grew more desperate, but never left his.

“I see, well, lucky for you I am more resourceful than these two here. I have an idea of how you can pay your brother’s debts, but first,” Suna’s wrist twisted and he turned her face, so she was looking at her brother. “I want you to look at the man who sold your soul to the devil.”

He could feel her tense in his grip, but she held firm, watching as Osamu dragged her brother into the back alley to beat him again before releasing him. Suna could feel a wetness on his fingers as her tears finally slipped from her beautiful eyes. He turned her to look at him again and released his hold on her.

“Now, here are my terms. I own a burlesque club a few blocks from here. I want you to work for me there for one year. You will live in an apartment of my choosing, with access to an escort at your pleasure. All your needs will be provided. If you skip town, if you miss a shift without approval, if you so much as think about reneging on this deal, I will hunt your brother down and bury him alive. Do you understand me?”

She looked at Suna confused but nodded. He seemed satisfied until she interjected, “Only one year?”

He turned back to look at her. “Only one year,” he confirmed. She seemed to relax a bit, but her tension was still clear.

“What’s the catch?”

“No catch, but you will follow my rules without impunity. You will obey my orders, you will not ask questions, you will not involve authorities with any of my business dealings, and you will not fraternize with any clients.” She closed her mouth and nodded slowly.

“Good, I will send my men to collect your things from your brother’s house and they will meet you at the apartment. Atsumu, if you please.” He signaled Atsumu to walk her back down the stairs and out the front door to the driver waiting outside. Suna, satisfied with his transaction, picked up his glass again and downed the rest before exiting through the back.

[the-writing-mechanic-official]

1: What is the best compliment you've gotten on any of your works?

-Onetime I wrote a plot twist in a fic and everyone in the comments (a total of 4 people) were shocked beyond words. Best chapter ever.

2: Do you have readers that you recognize by name (even if they may not comment regularly)?

-4 or 5, yes. I read their works, they read mine. We kind of are each others' fans.

3: Do you have scheduled uploads and if so, when?

-No...not yet.

4: How long was the longest work you've written?

-My longest work was the third draft of my novel, at 44K words.

5: What is your go-to way to deal with writers block?

-Random prompts. Journaling. Watching videos/making posts about writing (procrastination?).

6: Do you have a motivational cycle? (As in phases in which you barely write and phases in which you write so much holy shit).

-Yes, they sort of come and go, months at a time, maybe a year.

7: How long are your uploads in regular?

-In my fanfics, I keep most chapters 1.2K to 1.5K. In my novel though, each chapter is 2K to 2.5K.

8: Do you look through any and all replies to your work? Why?

-Yes! I love to see people's opinions on my work and build on critique. I often get inspired from comments on my works.

9: What genre is your favorite to write?

-Action/Adventure, but I had a romance faze at some point and it wasn't all that bad. I am currently writing Sci-Fi adventure, which is very interesting.

10: Do you read and write similar stuff or are there differences?

-To some extent. The things I DON'T read and DON'T write are exactly the same though.

11: What kind of relationships do you like writing best? (Family, platonic, romantic, etc.)

-Platonic friend (preferably groups) but a romantic one pops in once in a while.

12: Do you write in your first language? Multiple languages? A secret, third option?

-I used to write poetry in my native language (Arabic), but my works and novel are in English.

13: How many WIPs do you have open?

-3 atm. 2 will probably be abandoned fics soon. That and 7 other stories I have in my inventory.

14: What POV do you write? First person, second person, third person?

-I'm honestly still trying to decide. My works are mostly in 3rd, but I'm experimenting with 1st.

15: What is the weirdest thing you had to look up for writing?

-... Wendigos. 5 Punishments of Ancient China. Number of people who drown yearly in Lake Atitlan, Guatemala. etc.

16: What is something you didn't have to look up but is still weird to know?

-I couldn't get an answer by looking it up, but I had to conjure the symptoms and after effects of having your earlobe split open.

17: Could you or could you not successfully pull of a murder (at least in theory)?

-I will do the murder, but it won't be long before they figure me out.

18: Do you have a beta reader?

-No... not yet.

19: Do you edit your works?

-Of course. The more serious ones at least. small changes here and there sometimes.

20: Do you start on new ideas immediately or do you write them down until after you finish your current WIP?

-I write them down, but every time I think of a scene or concept in them, I write it quick.

21: How serious do you take your writing? Do you get money for it? Do you want to? Is it a hobby or a profession?

-It is not what I'm planning to have as a full-time job, but it is a nice hobby but I hope I can publish and get money from writing a series one day.

22: How often do you write fanfic? (From not at all to exclusively).

-I used to. Not that often anymore.

23: Is there a project you want to talk about?

-I am dying to explain this book of mine to someone, except that it is the third in a series of four and it is yet to be fully plotted. (It's called Ruins of Place, btw).

24: Do you stick to the same writing style or do you try out new things when you can?

-I find my writing style change after every fallout a little, and I feel it's improvement :).

25: Have you ever gotten hate and if so, how did you deal with it?

-My fanfics were in a small fandom, so really, no one complained much. As for my novel, it has yet to meet someone else's eyes.

26: Do you have a special writing process you have to follow every time you write?

-No?

27: How many people you know irl read what you're writing?

-None. They know I'm writing, but unless this book is finished no one shall see it (and don't even come at the fanfics.)

28: What would you say is your specialty in writing?

-Internal monologue and fight scenes. Sarcasm too, if it counts.

29: Do you listen to music while you write? If so, what kind?

-Sometimes, but not that often. A mix of anything that doesn't put me to sleep in the first 30 seconds.

30: What is, in your opinion, the greatest achievement that you have reached in writing?

-Finishing each draft is a great feeling. 10yo me might have not known it, but the 210 pages of a hand-written abominable story I wrote back then was the reason I got the idea to develop steadily.

Know yourself as a writer.

Writer ask game! (Both fanfic writers and non-fanfic writers)

1: What is the best compliment you've gotten on any of your works?

2: Do you have readers that you recognize by name (even if they may not comment regularly)?

3: Do you have scheduled uploads and if so, when?

4: How long was the longest work you've written?

5: What is your go-to way to deal with writers block?

6: Do you have a motivational cycle? (As in phases in which you barely write and phases in which you write so much holy shit)

7: How long are your uploads in regular?

8: Do you look through any and all replies to your work? Why?

9: What genre is your favourite to write?

10: Do you read and write similar stuff or are there differences?

11: What kind of relationships do you like writing best? (Family, platonic, romantic, etc.)

12: Do you write in your first language? Multiple languages? A secret, third option?

13: How many WIPs do you have open?

14: What POV do you write? First person, second person, third person?

15: What is the weirdest thing you had to look up for writing?

16: What is something you didn't have to look up but is still weird to know?

17: Could you or could you not successfully pull of a murder (at least in theory)?

18: Do you have a beta reader?

19: Do you edit your works?

20: Do you start on new ideas immediately or do you write them down until after you finish your current WIP?

21: How serious do you take your writing? Do you get money for it? Do you want to? Is it a hobby or a profession?

22: How often do you write fanfic? (From not at all to exclusively)

23: Is there a project you want to talk about?

24: Do you stick to the same writing style or do you try out new things when you can?

25: Have you ever gotten hate and if so, how did you deal with it?

26: Do you have a special writing process you have to follow every time you write?

27: How many people you know irl read what you're writing?

28: What would you say is your specialty in writing?

29: Do you listen to music while you write? If so, what kind?

30: What is, in your opinion, the greatest achievement that you have reached in writing?

Please don't feel pressured to answer anything you're not comfortable with!

[monsteronfire]

Fishing for a Star

type;; One-shot (6.4K words)

pairing(s);; fratboy!JK x older!Reader/OC

genre;; Slice of Life, Smut, College AU

warnings;; Drinking, oral (male receiving), shy!Koo, sub!Koo, slightly dom!Reader/OC, Yoongi being a dumbass voyeur, both parties pining for each other like idiots

a/n;; I feel like it’s been a motherfuckin’ year since I’ve written and posted anything. I honestly started this thing probably a year ago. I just really love the chill college parties trope. Might add more to this, but unlikely. Enjoy my pain as I cry over JK in leather.

edit;; Totally forgot to put a read more tag on here, sorry y’all. I even told myself to fucking do it right as I started the post. Also the pic isn’t mine, got it off Google.

------

“Please tell me that’s not what you’re wearing.”

You step out of the way for your housemate, the hoodie you’d picked out momentarily blinding you while you pulled it over your head.

“If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t be putting it on.” You say, finally getting it over your head and shaking the hair out of your face. You blink at her half-way-to-getting-ready state, noting in the back of your head how good she looks even now. Her hair is done, wavy and a little disheveled. The shine of the dark strands makes you want to run your fingers through them, knowing they will be soft. Her makeup is half done and she’s dressed only in her underwear, but she’s beautiful all the same. You can tell she’s planning to doll herself up tonight and why shouldn’t she? It’s one of the biggest frat parties of the year and with it being her last year, she’s aiming to have a good time.

“This is a party, (Y/N). At least try and look a little slutty.”

You snort and grin a little, watching her pop her hip out while she eyes you.

“Why is that, baby?” You reply, reaching up to pull a couple of strands of her hair back into place fondly.

“I plan to get laid tonight. I expect you to too, babe.” She snaps, swatting your hand away.

“Sorry, sexy. I’m fishing for something special tonight and it doesn’t require the slutty look.”

“Oh god, not again.”

“What?” You question, turning back to the full length mirror and carding your fingers through your own hair to fix it.

“You’ve been after this boy for three years, (Y/N). He’s got you wrapped around his finger.” She states, walking away from you and back into the bathroom. You’re still smiling when you check one final time to make sure the jeans you’re wearing make your ass look great before leaning against the door frame.

“That was my plan from the beginning. Now I just need to wrap him around mine.”

She snorts, leaning over the sink and closer to the mirror.

“I said three years, didn’t I? If you haven’t bagged him yet, you won’t.”

You pout at her, but are undeterred. You know what kind of person he is and you’re well aware of how much work he had and will continue to take. You could tell he was not a one and done from the first moment you saw him. He would take time, a lot of it and you were willing to put it all in.

“You know how stubborn I can be.” You chuckle at her. She rolls her eyes, but smirks none the less. She knows she can’t say a word to change your mind.

“Whatever. If I catch you two together, I’m telling him to fuck you already.”

You laugh as you walk away, working on gathering what you’ll want to take to the party.

“You sure I’ll even be allowed at this thing?!”

“Are you kidding?! Everyone is invited to this party. The doors are left open so anyone can just fucking walk in off the street!”

You chuckle, grabbing your bag and stuffing your wallet in it. You’d graduated a couple years ago and while most of the seniors would know you, you sometimes felt weird hanging out at a party in the college you’d already graduated from. A girl has to do what she has to do when a baby boy is on the line, though.

And a baby boy he was.

-

“Jae!”

You smile as you and your friend enter the large, old house. The lighting is dim, the music is thumping and all you can smell is alcohol, sex and sweat. There’s noise all around you, but you and your friend weave through the crowd easily. Nearly everyone greets you as you two pass, guys high-fiving you and girls giggling and touching your arms. You bounce to the music as you follow her, the two of you making your way past the front stairs and down the hall. You make a pit stop in the kitchen- Jae grabbing the classic Solo cup and you pulling a bottle of beer from a cooler full of ice- before heading out onto the back deck.

The backyard is just as crowded as the house, people in the pool, people in the gazebo and people littering about the yard and deck. There’s a large bonfire near the back of the yard and a couple other smaller fire pits in random spots. One of them is up on the deck in a small metal  pit, the warm flames surrounded by the very reason you and Jae came tonight.

“There’s our girls!” Namjoon shouts, lifting his can and drawing the attention of the seven other guys around him to you two. Taehyung, Hoseok and Jin all shout in unison as they spot you, Tae standing and pressing a sloppy kiss to your friend’s cheek. Yoongi and Namjoon lift their hands as you get closer and you reach out to slap each one. Jimin stands to press little pecks to first your cheek and then Jae’s. You all greet each other quietly before Jae slides herself into her target’s lap. She’s been after Jin all year and you haven’t been the only person sitting back to watch their game of cat and mouse. Jin is practically an expert at flirting just enough to keep her hooked without giving her what she really wants.

To be young and in lust.

Your eyes finally find the last member of the group, his silence keeping him out of spotlight unless he’s being searched for. He’s already looking at you when you spot him and his eyes dart down to his shoes while he shuffles behind Yoongi and Jimin. He can only keep his eyes off you for a moment before they find yours and he’s trapped. You smile softly at him, taking delight in how his eyes widen a fraction and his pupils grow. He’s holding a Solo cup, the rings on his fingers glinting in the firelight as he deftly squeezes them a bit tighter. He looks good tonight, his dark hair pushed back away from his forehead to show his strong brow. He’s dressed in all black, black t-shirt tucked into black jeans, black boots and to top it all off a leather jacket. He definitely pulled all the stops on you tonight and you have to make a conscious effort not to drool when you stare at him. He looks like a badass and you know every other girl in this joint sees him the same way, but you know the truth.

“Uh-oh,” Jae mumbles into Jin’s ear.

“She’s spotted her target and is locked on.”

You don’t bother listening to her, instead creeping closer to the object of your desire.

“Hey, Jungkookie,” You murmur quietly to him, leaning in a bit closer, but not too close. You had to be very meticulous with him.

“Hey, noona,” he responds shyly and the whole circle of friends is a sniggering mess for a moment. Pink begin’s to dust his cheeks, but you spare him a little and turn to flick Jimin in the back of the head.

“You lot are pretty curious tonight. Weren’t you all having a conversation before we came up?”

They all snigger some more, but quickly go back to bullshitting around the fire, leaving you and Jungkook in peace. You take another step closer to him, half expecting him to maintain the distance between you, but he remains still and lets you get closer. Threes years it’s taken you to get even this close to him, his overtly shy and sweet demeanor keeping him just out of reach of your darker, more corrupted hands.

“You look good tonight,” you comment and his blush darkens in the firelight. He thanks you almost too quietly, quickly bringing the cup of beer he’s holding to his lips to distract himself somehow and it has you chuckling lowly at him. He looks away from you, avoiding your eyes and you can’t stop the fiendish grin on your lips. You finally give him some respite, turning away from him to join in on the random conversation that the group is sharing around the small fire pit.

Finally…

He get’s his chance and takes it without a second thought. He spent years hesitating in such small matters and found himself either missing out or always caught if he didn’t take the chance when it was presented to him. So he learned. Now when you have those few precious moments where your focus is not on him- where you are off guard for just a beat- he gets to watch you instead. Watch the way your eyes glow in the firelight, or the way your hair just barely shifts as a warm breeze lazes by. He takes in your simple outfit, jeans and a sweatshirt. Nothing like the rest of the girls at every party he’s ever been to. Your smile moves your whole face, your cheeks rising, you lips splitting and even your eyes squinting shut as you tease Taehyung. His lips quirk a little on their own when he notices that your ears shift a little when you smile as well.

Your lashes are long even without makeup, so much so that the first time he’d ever met you he could have sworn they were fake. But then he caught you tugging on them one afternoon while you told old stories with Namjoon. You did it regularly and had told him you could feel the dead ones coming out, you wanted to get them before they fell into your eyes. A quirk he’d logged away to keep safe for the rest of eternity. The beer in your one hand shifts to the other, the rings on your fingers clinking just loud enough for him to hear over Hoseok’s shouting. A hobby of sorts you shared with Jimin. You two wore the same ring size and often went shopping for new ones together, even swapping every now and again. The free hand moves about in the air as you speak and Jungkook thinks it almost weird now to see someone talk without gesturing with their hands so much. How did one truly immerse another in their words if they didn’t show them how it felt as well? When you were angry- fuming for either your own hardships or for those of a friend- you pointed a lot, your head shaking and your hands slicing through the air to signal how done you were. When you told stories of your adventures with the oldest members of his brothers your hands where always in the air; swiping, rolling, falling and twisting. You painted such a picture with only the movement of your hands when you spoke. They weren’t really dainty, your palms wide and your fingers not very long, but they fit perfectly with his hands. A fact that amazes him, but that he’s grown rather fond of. When you laugh, it’s loud. Not soft, not like the twinkling of bells, but like a song. Loud, but still beautiful and it can range from joyous mirth to deep and rich fondness, the type of feeling that fills your chest with warmth and adoration. That’s the laugh he enjoys the most, that deep chuckle. The one you give to him quietly so just the two of you can hear it.

He wants you. He was confused at first, for a long time. Scared of your mature age compared to him and your strength. He always sees you as strong, even if you don’t think so yourself. You always make him nervous, unsure if he is really worthy of the sweet attention you give him. The quiet whispers just between the two of you, the soft touches, the adoring look in your eyes. He fears all your attention, but he can’t deny now that he wants it- needs it. He can’t go a day without it.

-

The party winds down and you are delighted at the sight of mattresses being brought down and strewn haphazardly across the floor in their living room. When Jungkook finally picks his spot you waste no time in shuffling closer to his mattress. Normally you would keep your distance, allowing him his comfort of solitude to sleep, but you’ve already allowed him plenty of his liberties tonight. You will get something out of this evening if not a simple kiss in the dark. He shocks you by saying nothing as you lay down, your eyes just catching a glimpse of Jae and Jin heading upstairs. Probably to his room to finally earn what she’s worked so hard for. She quickly casts you a thumbs up, a large grin on her face as she tries to keep it unnoticed by anyone else in the room. You return the gesture and chuckle, groaning a bit when you body finally hits the not so comfortable springs. You take a moment to sigh before opening your eyes again and focusing them on the object of your desires.

He’s staring right back at you and your breath catches in your throat, lost in the sea of stars in his eyes. They’re wide and shining, staring so intently at you that you almost don’t take notice to the shine of his lips. Like he’s just licked them a few times. Even in the dim light of the moon that filters in through the windows and the very few lights in the house on you can see them glisten, and your eyes are torn between them and his shining eyes. He looks like a lost puppy staring at you, but there’s more in his eyes. He looks in awe, almost afraid and- dare you say it- a little eager. Like he wants something to happen, but it scares him and that thought alone drives straight to your core. A fire alights inside you and suddenly you’re staring back at him with equally wide eyes, your bottom lip trapped between your teeth. The action immediately draws his large eyes to your mouth and fuck if you don’t almost groan when his tongue pokes out to lick nervously over his lips again.

His mouth parts ever so slightly and you swear you can hear him panting a little over the din of people ambling to where they plan to sleep. Someone plops down directly behind you, their back hitting yours as they shift to get comfortable. You’re right on the edge of the mattress, so this person has to be hanging off the one they’re laying on to be this close to you. And by the feel of how broad their shoulders are it’s definitely a man. Your eyes narrow and you almost growl when Jungkook stiffens in front of you and the man knocks against you again. Your head turns just enough to spot the thin, white shirt he’s wearing stretch over one shoulder before you’re shoving back with your elbow. He grunts when you dig into his back, but says nothing else, only leaning away from the discomfort. He’s clearly wasted. Still, he’s too close to you and taking the great opportunity presented before you, you scoot closer to the apple of your eye. He doesn’t shy away and it takes all your effort not to reach out to him when you finally focus back on him.

“Sorry,” you whisper, scooting just a tiny bit closer than you really need to. He shakes his head quietly, mumbling out an ‘it’s okay’ while his body leans closer to yours. God you want to ravage this sweet boy. It’s practically making your heart explode with how cute he’s being right now. He’d looked away in his response, but when he looks back to you he’s dragging his lip through his teeth and you really can’t take it. Again you two are lost in your own little world as you stare at each other.

“Jungkookie… you’re not being very nice to me right now.”

His eyes widen even further- if that’s even possible- and he looks almost stricken at the comment.

“What?” He manages to almost whimper out and you just can’t stop yourself from scooting even closer to him.

“You’re looking at me so sweetly, baby. How am I supposed to play nice with you tonight if you keep staring at me like that?”

You don’t know where all this confidence is coming from. Granted you’ve always been a bit more confident than the young man in front of you, but even still, you never thought you’d get to a degree where you were saying such flirtatious things in such a dominant tone to him.

“Play… nice?”

The glint changes in your eyes and Jungkook visibly shutters at the sight. Your eyes had been so deep and full of adoration just a moment ago, now all he sees is greed and lust. It makes his already hard cock twitch in his pants. Gods he’s been hard from the moment you called him that nickname- Jungkookie. He generally doesn’t like anyone, but the guys saying it. But every time you say it…

He’s almost scared to feel how excited he’s getting every time you scoot a little bit closer. He doesn’t want you to stop. Not until your body is finally pressed to his and he can hold you so tight, and never let go. He’d hoped something would have happened between you two before tonight, but he was always so scared and you were always so cautious with him. He just wants you to ravage him already. He’s dreamed about it practically every night, it might as well happen already.

“Stop,” you suddenly say and he can feel your fingers on his chin, pulling his lip from between his teeth.

“If you lick or bite your lips one more time,” you have to take a moment to calm yourself before continuing, “… I don’t think I’ll be able to stop myself.”

He throbs in his jeans and when he locks eyes with you he’s lost. He doesn’t want you to stop, he realizes that now after feeling your fingers touch his skin. Fire ignites where they trace from his chin and along his jaw. He trembles beneath your touch and you can feel it. Oh you can feel it. You do the opposite of what you just told him, biting your lip to draw his eyes to them again as you two gravitate ever closer.

“Unless you don’t want me to.”

He doesn’t speak, he feels like he doesn’t know how to in that moment. He doesn’t trust himself to anyway, so he does the next best thing. He licks his lips again and is rewarded. Your fingers that had been running along his jaw suddenly snake into the hair at the nape of his neck and you pull him close. He is just as needy as you are, his hands which had been fiddling with his shirt the whole time are suddenly flying up to tug your bodies even closer. Your lips crash against his and he whimpers into your mouth when you both open them simultaneously, your tongue dragging along his. It takes all your conscious effort not to moan, your body melding itself against his. His arms wrap around you and squeeze you to him, his whimpers turning into a little moan when you gain dominance in the kiss.

You pull away, one of your hands coming back to his jaw to to place a thumb over his open lips. You turn to look back at the bodies laying around the room, most of the members of the fraternity still down here, all of them passed entirely the fuck out. The guy just behind you is snoring up a storm and you can’t help smirking a little when you turn back to face Jungkook. He looks so fucked out already, his eyes glazed and his pupils blown wide as he pants lightly against your thumb. Your smile is both devious and full of fondness as you stare at him.

“You look so good baby, but you have to be quiet for me,” you whisper to him and he does nothing more than open his mouth wider. His tongue snakes out and licks against your thumb, pulling it in and sealing his lips around the appendage. He suckles on it hungrily and gods be damned if your panties aren’t soaked at this point.

“Fuck,” you sigh, squeezing your thighs together. You want him so bad it almost hurts. He pulls away far enough that your thumb pops from his lips and he whimpers once again, pulling you as close as he can.

“Noona, please,” he says, his breath shuddering.

“Please what, baby?”

He grabs one your hands and pulls it down between your bodies, pressing your palm to the bulge in his jeans. Your breathing deepens when you palm the hardness through the thick fabric, wondering how you didn’t notice it before.

“Oh baby,” you coo quietly and rub your hand heavily over his bulge. He bites his lip to hold back the moan threatening to break free and you feel his hips start to rock into your hand. He’s so fucking hot, how have you been able to resist him for so long?

“How long have to been this hard?”

He takes a moment to respond, trying to take deep breaths. Your hand stalls to help him regain some semblance of sanity, but he seems against the idea. His hand returns to gripping yours, pressing your palm back against his hard-on.

“Long time,” he finally gets out in a clipped tone, probably unable to speak properly at this point.

“Poor thing.”

You pull closer to him, pressing your forehead to his and lowering your voice so that you’re barely audible.

“Take your cock out for me, baby. Please.”

He keeps you close and groans into your neck, only taking a moment to collect himself before he’s pushing away, and his hands are flying to undo his pants. He struggles with the button for a moment, but you don’t help him, only leaning back to watch with excitement. When he finally gets them undone he’s tugging them down just enough so he can freely pull is cock out and gods is it beautiful. Your mouth waters as soon as he has it out, its pink color and red head making you want to feel the weight of it on your tongue. It’s not particularly long, but it’s thicker than you thought it would be and the precum that glistens on his tip calls out to you. You let out a heavy breath when his hands hover just shy of his shaft, trembling and aching to give the poor weeping thing some relief. Still he hesitates to touch himself.

Such a good boy.

“You’re so gorgeous,” you practically wheeze out, finding it hard to breathe when your twitching hand finally reaches out for him. He’s whimpering before you even touch him and you have to remind him to be quiet when the tip of your finger goes to touch the head.

“Remember, baby, keep it down.”

He nods a little shakily and just as you press into the precum on his tip with your finger, his hands are flying up to cover his mouth. He’s so sensitive and you love it.

“Well, you’re certainly aching there aren’t you? Does it feel good to have me touch you?”

Again he nods and you pout, swirling your finger in the sticky fluid at his tip. His eyes clench shut at the sensation and he deftly thrusts his hips up to meet more of your hand.

“Use your words or I’ll have to stop.”

“Yes,” he whispers out harshly, his hands clenching into fists at his stomach, “… yes, yes, yes, yes!”

You smirk, the high you’re getting from all of this driving you to carry on.

“Good boy.”

You continue to swirl your finger over his tip a few more times, widening your circle until you’re sliding your finger down the top of his length, all the way to the base. He pants a little too heavily, his eyes glued to your hand and what you’re doing to him. You circle around his base to the bottom of his cock before dragging your finger back up and rubbing it deftly over the slit a few times.

“Fuck noona-“

“Language, Jungkookie.” You say with a smirk, your hand finally flattening over the underside of his length so you can palm him a few times. His hips rock against his will and meet you half way every time you press down on him. He looks so pretty like this, his eyes nearly black and so focused on how your palm drags over his length. He’s sweating a little, panting a lot and his gorgeous cock is ready to explode at any second. And you’ve barely even done anything to him yet.

“What made you so hard and needy like this?”

He stays silent for a long moment, only answering when the pressure of your hand lightens and you begin to pull away.

“You… you made me like this. You always… make me like this.”

Always?

“Fuck, Kookie, if you had told me sooner we might’ve actually got it in tonight.”

His eyes are glistening at this point as they shoot up to glance at you before scrunching shut when your fingers finally wrap around his shaft. You pump him slowly, but his hips make up for that and keep the sliding of his cock in and out of your hand at a steady pace.

“I wanted to. Fuck I wanted to, but…”

“But?”

He pants a few times, focused more on chasing his high. Your grip on his cock tightens to the point that he’s forced to stop thrusting, only allowing him to continue when he answers.

“I-I was scared. And you were being so cautious with me-“

“Of course I was! I didn’t want to scare you away. I worked too hard for you, I wasn’t going to mess that up by being too greedy.”

His hips stutter and then pause, his eyes opening to look at you. His face is flush, you can tell even in the dark, and his hair is starting to stick to his face. Still he looks like the sexiest, most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.

“Why?”

“What?” You ask, not prepared to be questioned back like this.

“Why did you put so much effort into me. You could’ve easily slept with one of the other guys. Yoongi’s always had the hots for you. So has Tae. Why me?”

You take a long moment to mull over your answer, your other hand coming up to push some of his sweaty hair out of his face. When you get some clear, you lean in to kiss him a little more gently this time. Though it isn’t any less heated, it’s more of a deep sensual kiss than one of hunger and lust. When you pull away, you look him in the eyes when you answer.

“The same reason anyone chooses anyone else. You’re the one I wanted, Kookie. I would’ve put in a hundred years of work if I had to.”

His eyes are wide with adoration and awe, but the moment can’t last forever. His cock twitching in your hand reminds you of what is happening and you squeeze it gently before going back to pumping him. He gasps quietly at the sensation, his eyes falling closed and his body slowly starting to roll backwards. You move with him, pressing your body into his side when he’s finally laying flat on his back. His hands are clenching and unclenching against his stomach, desperate for some kind of anchor. A thought pings into your mind while you watch him grasp sporadically at his shirt, releasing his cock and pushing both his hands and the shirt up his abdomen. He whines at the loss of contact, lifting his head to see why you’d stopped stroking him only for his eyes to go wide. He looks a bit panicked, his gaze darting around to the half dead bodies around you two. You could so easily be caught, but most of the occupants of the house were completely wasted and would likely never remember this even if they did see it.

You slide down his body quietly, stealthily, like a cat taunting its prey into the shadows. Your eyes catch his and they hold him, their mischief so palpable that it makes Jungkook’s mouth go dry and his cock pulsate so fiercely it taps against his stomach. Your one hand trails down his side lightly, nails tickling his hip and thigh so that he’s shuddering beneath you. He reaches for you, one hand cupping your cheek- wants to tell you to stop, but his throat is so dry he can’t even whisper. Or perhaps he’s lying to himself and doesn’t want you to stop at all. When you quirk an eyebrow in question and you feel the object of your desire tap against your throat with another needy pulse, you know the answer is no, he doesn’t want you to stop.

A trembling whisper of your name leaves his lips and you can only smirk, tilting your head down to kiss just above his navel and then to one side of it. Down, down, further you trail, your kisses getting sloppier as you descend closer to your target. Your tongue and teeth leave wet, rosy patches as you go and you can feel his muscles quivering every time you touch him until finally the desperately red tip of his cock is right in front of you. He whimpers beneath you and you shush him gently, unable to tear your eyes away from the way it pulses and twitches up towards you.

“Please,” he finally lets out, sounding much like he’s on the verge of tears. You smirk again and glance up at him through your lashes.

“Please what, baby?”

He huffs cutely, his other hand cupping the other side of your face and his thumbs smoothing along your cheekbones like he’s so desperate to just pull you into his cock, but doesn’t want to be too demanding. You smile a bit more when his look gets more and more frantic, one of your arms reaching up to rub his chest under his shirt soothingly.

“Relax, my sweet star. Just tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you.”

“P-please…”

“Go on, baby. I know you want it, just tell me.”

“Please, I want your mouth,” he finally shutters out, but you can’t help yourself and push just a bit more.

“What do you want from my mouth?”

He huffs again and looks away, searching the room to make sure everyone there is truly oblivious.

“I-I want…”

“Want?”

“Please, noona, ravage me with your mouth.”

He looks you directly in the eyes as he finishes and the glee that soars through you practically makes you light headed. You grin broadly at him and bite your lip.

“I’ll give you anything you want, bunny. You just have to ask.”

Before he can really bask in your words you focus back on his cock, the hand that had been trying to soothe him shooting down to wrap gently round his base and lead his head to your waiting tongue. His breath shudders out and his mouth opens to let out a rush of air. The precum leaking from his tip covers your tongue in salt, but you don’t mind, all too desperate to feel the full weight of him at the back of your throat. Still you take your time, only licking at his slit to tease him, another droplet of precum oozing out every time to you do.

He’s panting while he watches you, his hands trembling on your face until one shakily weaves into your hair at the crown of your head. He doesn’t grip or pull, doesn’t try to shove more of his cock into your mouth which is what you’re used to. No, he’s too gentle and sweet to force anything. He only wants and lets you lead the way. When you finally wrap you lips around his tip he can’t hold back the noise, his head falling back, his teeth digging into his bottom lip and what he hopes is a quiet moan leaving him. And you can only smirk at the sound, the subtle shudder in his voice making you even more wet and your stomach clench with desire.

You take the time to generously wet the head of his cock, delighting in its twitches while you swirl your tongue around him. When you pop him from your lips the poor thing looks pathetic, practically weeping in your fingers and you feel all too obliged to take him back in. Only this time you take him all in, or at least as much as you can. You suck him all the way to the back of your throat, moaning quietly around his shaft so he can feel the vibrations. And oh does it make him make the most wonderful of sounds. A surprised cry and the slapping of a hand over his mouth (the one that was lightly stroking his fingers along your cheek) has you trying to smile around him.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck-…”

He lets the mantra trail off quietly, his body arched so you can’t see his face anymore. And as much as you adore the sight of him losing control, you’d much rather see the pleasure on said face. You suck harshly and pull off him, letting him once again pop from your lips. You take care to pump him slowly while you speak, you spit slicking his cock enough that there’s little friction.

“Look at me baby.”

It takes him a few moments, but you wait patiently until he realizes you gave him an order and he follows through. He looks a little lost when he finally locks eyes with you, his gaze a little wild like he can’t really see you at first.

“Noona?”

“Are you with me, sweetheart?”

He looks confused, but nods all the same, probably ready to agree to anything at this point.

“Listen carefully, baby. I want you to look at me the whole time. Don’t you dare look away or I’ll stop, okay? Eyes on me.”

He nods deftly, afraid he won’t be able to fulfill your request, but eagerly wanting to please you.

“Good boy.”

You don’t give him any time to prepare himself and suck him back in as far as he’ll go. He wheezes and squeezes his eyes shut for just a moment, quickly remembering your order and opening them back up to focus on you again. You smirk around his cock to let him know you approve and focus back on your task. When you can’t push him any further down your throat you opt to bob your head, one hand stroking what you can’t swallow and the other massaging his balls. You look up every few seconds to make sure he’s still watching and only have to stop once to make him look at your again. The sloppier his cock and your mouth gets the more he shakes and shudders beneath you, the hand in your hair trembling like a leaf in the wind. He keeps his other hand up by his face, ready to cover his mouth every time he can’t hold back a whimper or moan.

It doesn’t take long, only a few minutes and he’s desperately pleading to you, “I’m cumming, I’m cumming, I-“

You push him in as far as you can take and swallow around him just once before he’s shooting his load down your throat. Tears form in his eyes when he squeezes them shut and you can’t fault him when his head falls back onto the mattress. He did such a good job of watching you, you’ll let him have this one. When the last of his cum is swallowed down, you take care to gently clean what you can off his cock with your tongue. He shakes and gasps beneath you as you do, his head shaking back and forth as if to say he can’t take anymore. You pop off him one last time and kiss his tip softly, grinning when he finally cracks his eyes open to look at you.

He looks madly in love while he stares at you and it makes you somewhat nervous to see such intense emotion in his eyes. You lift yourself and crawl back up his body, pausing to help him pull his pants back up and his shirt back down. You hush him when he tries to button and zip everything back up, pushing his weak and tired hands away.

“No one will notice, just rest baby.”

“Well that was hot.”

You freeze over him, Jungkook’s body going rigid and his eyes widening with fear. You both look over your shoulder and spot Yoongi a small ways away from the foot of your mattress, laying on his side with his head propped up in one hand. He’s smirking at the two of you and while Jungkook looks mortified, you only feel proud. Now someone has witness that Jungkook is yours and no one else can have him.

“Hyung,” he whispers harshly, both his hands coming up to cover his face. You smile fondly at your boy before looking back to Yoongi.

“Well if you’re good and keep this to yourself, maybe next time you can join us.”

Yoongi quirks an eyebrow and grins excitedly, Jungkook letting out a panicked noise when you settle in beside him. He whispers to you quietly as if he doesn’t want Yoongi to hear and you only shush him gently to calm him.

“Lay down and rest, bunny. Don’t worry about him, he’ll keep quiet.”

“But-“

“Shh, sleep.”

You run your fingers through his hair until he finally settles down, turning so that he can wrap himself around you and tuck his head under your chin. You chuckle lovingly and continue to pet him, using your free hand to flip Yoongi off when he makes lewd gestures at you in the dark.