#and do it all again... took only 5 hours.
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ishasturnz · 2 days ago
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Cookies ‘n Head
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based off this post @sunrisemill and this fic.
contains: porn with plot, counter head?, some fluff, i think thats it, male receiving.
Bsf!Reader x bsf!Chris
authors note: it took me like an hour to figure out a plot just for this because i wanna spoil you guys. Also click on the first message to see the full thing. And RUSHED and maybe a part 2.
wc: 579
character count: 2635
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4:36
My car started to pull into his driveway, the smell of freshly baked cookies filling my nose slightly making me lightheaded.
I parked and stepped out of the drivers seat and headed to the front door. Before I could even knock the door swung open revealing a very excited Chris.
“Thank you! thank you! thank you!” He squealed like a girl before attempting to take the white box away.
“Hey! Calm down, you get fed every day I think you’ll be fine without COOKIES for a few seconds.”
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5:48
“Can I eat them now?” Chris persistently asked repeatedly like a child. “Okay go ahead and eat some since you want them so badly.”
I grabbed one for myself since I was a bit hungry since I didn't eat lunch.
I took a small bite of the soft food, Chris just stared at my lips the whole time.
Noticing how plump my lips were, how smooth my brown skin was, but his thoughts shifted from something else.
And wasn't appropriate once so ever.
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“Chris dude, are you even gonna eat the cookies? I’m only saving them because I want you to have some, secondly, I’m hungry too” My voice chose to get a slight attitude and sassiness added into it.
“Well first off lose the fucking attitude, secondly, M’not hungry. Not for food at least.” His accent started to slip out slowly the deeper his voice got.
“Okay, then what are you hungry for? Because you’re not the only one hungry. But I’m hungry for food so what do you wanna eat then?” I started to slowly get hangry and sassier by the second.
“I got something that’ll make you full.” Those were his last words before I somehow ended up on my knees in front of him.
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6:09
"y-yeah—shiit, juuust like tha--mmpfh-ah," Chris’s head fell back against the white cabinet behind him.
His rough hands pulled my hair into a makeshift ponytail, guiding my movements as I continued sucking him off.
His eyes hooded, making it seem like they’ve rolled back completely. His hips started to buck into my mouth making the tip of his oversized cock nudging against the back of my throat making me continuously gag around him.
The noise of gargling filled the entire kitchen "fuuuck, I’m right there, just... just—shit," he groaned out loud.
Hot tears spilled down my face as he continued to face-fuck me. Until the tight coil in his lower stomach started getting tighter and tighter by the second.
and his climax hit him hard, his whole body shuddering, hips twitching into your mouth uncontrollably.
his hips twitching almost involuntarily as he spilled deep down your throat, he held your head down by the makeshift ponytail to make sure you swallowed all of his sticky release a quiet moan left his mouth “..Shittt…”.
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6:40
I wiped the corners of my mouth getting rid of access cum and licking it off my thumb. “You should drink more water or something chris— your cum tastes like ass.” My tone playful but I wasn’t joking at all.
“Yeah I don’t think now’s the best time to mention that.” Chris spoke while catching his breath yet munching on one of the soft cookies.
“Yeah sure buddy” I paused before speaking again, “Also who knew Christopher Sturniolo whimpers, more blackmail for me”
“Oh fuck you Y/n.” He uttered with a mouthful of chewed-up cookies in his mouth.
“I mean you can if you want to, I’m not saying no.”
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taglist: @tezzzzzzzz @chrepsi @angvl3tears @theylovedemi @sturnshood @sturnberries @sturniologirlzz @muwapsturniolo @dykes4chris @chrisisadilf @chrissturniolossidebitch @baileysturnz @slut4christopherr @slxt4chriss @slvtf0rchr1s @slxtarchive @raesturns @hjvi @starkeyszn @audreyscave @lailasnight @sturns-mermaid @ikyoudreamofme @sturnsmadl @ohmanareyoucereal9 @sossturn @blushsturns @rcklessheavn @55sturn @phone4pills @cupiidk1lls @bsturnzmtts @wh0remikasas @sfoiasturn @trevorsgodmother @bluestriips
MASTERLIST
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pampushky · 1 day ago
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they hang on every breath
Alpha! Lando Norris/Omega! Lauda! Reader - chapter 5 - 4k words
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First of all:
GO BIRDS WE FUCKING DID IT AGAIN! SURPRISE! IM AN EAGLES FAN! anyway enjoy <3
previous part | next part | masterlist | series masterlist
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October, 2005. FIA Headquarters, Paris
When they’d first founded the pack, Niki was the original Prime Alpha. James Hunt had been the Prime Beta. At the time, there had yet to be any omega to work in any formula series, let alone drive or work on the car. So Marlene had been the Prime Omega then, completing all the proper paperwork for the pack to be recognized by the FISA, FIA, and any other group that tried to argue against the rights of the drivers. 
Then James had died in 1993 before being able to step down, leading Aryton to take over as the Prime Beta the next week, only to follow after James in 1994. The pack had almost crumbled, and Niki had never quite gotten over either of them, just silently watching as a nervous Mika took over as the Prime at the next race. 
Micheal had been his paddock pup, with Mika beside him, the two rather rambunctious and energetic about everything. Shiny-eyed and seeing the good in everything where Niki had been dulled by the deaths he’d witnessed, and the severance of his mating bond. 
Marlene, luckily, cared about the pack just as fiercely as her former mate, staying in the Prime Omega position well after Niki had stepped down and let Micheal take the reigns. 
And by then, there were omegas allowed to drive. It had been the 90s— it was finally seen as barbaric to prevent someone from driving based on their designation— and now it was nearly a decade into the 21st century! Yet it wouldn’t be until 2001 that a suitable candidate for Prime Omega really emerged. 
Which was what was causing such a headache now. 
Niki was in no mood to be here right now. But the FIA had insisted that this was the only time the pack situation could be amended and that Fernando could finally be appointed as the Prime Omega, with Marlene there to witness and step down to let him take over. 
Two hours, just to change all that. Even with Niki, Mika, Micheal, and Marlene there to speed things up and get everything done. Two hours with a squirming four-year-old who did not like being stuck in a stuffy hallway in a brand-new city, who seemed very content to make it everyone’s problem. 
You had been squealing and chirping angrily for the past hour, with no sign of stopping.
 Apparently, having two Prime Betas not being present (regardless of the fact that both were very publicly not alive anymore) complicated things. At least the official had the decency to look ashamed when he asked Mika where Ayrton and James were, to give their consent on this change. Or perhaps it was the death stare that Niki was giving him, with you looking equally as confused from where you’d been standing behind his legs. Those same, piercing eyes looking at the official, who finally stuttered out the approval and finally let everything move forward. 
It’s not as if Niki wanted to drag you along to all of this. You’d been perfectly content to stay curled up in the nest in Höf. However, Mathias had business to attend to, and Lukas was at the factory testing, some favor that had been called in by a friend when their driver hadn’t been able to. Marlene had to be in Paris for the meeting. 
A true stroke of bad luck, but looking at his own burn scars and the tiny compression gloves that were made to fit you, Niki reasoned it could always be worse. Your eyes meet his, as though he’s looking in a mirror, before you whine to Marlene again, high-pitched and more frustrated than anxious.
You wanted to explore the new city! That’s what your Sisi had said you could do when all of this was over. He’d take you to get crepes and help you make the coziest nest possible in Micheal’s Paris apartment to watch Lilo & Stitch for the thousandth time with Marlene and himself.
It was a waiting game now. 
Marlene was gently bouncing you in her arms, whispering to you to keep you entertained, and failing. Your little face was scrunched up in annoyance and you were puffing up your cheeks. Looking at your adoptive grand-dam with the biggest puppy-dog eyes, and failing to get what you wanted. Marlene was well-versed in your attempted bribery and ensured you weren’t too spoiled by Niki. 
 Your hair was growing back, now about three inches long from your scalp, and a shocking white color that rivaled even the oldest members of the grid. 
“Likely from all the stress,” the doctor whispered, after telling Niki the news, one sunny April day after you’d been given a full body exam, to check the progress of your healing, and to examine the full extent of the damage to your scalp. “It’s not thinning, and seems healthy otherwise. It’s actually quite thick, so it’ll require constant grooming and maintenance when the pup is able to access her canine form. The scalp has been, by some miracle, untouched, so, thank God above for that,” 
The doctor looked over her shoulder to you, where you were sitting on the bed, examining the scented rabbit that bore your dam’s scent. Watching as Lukas and Mathias made it dance and play with you on the bed. You reach for the rabbit, with little hands, wearing a compression glove and sleeve. It would be a week until you were discharged. And you were starting to adjust nicely to the new routine of your life. 
And now your hair was being gently smoothed down to your head by Alonso, talking to you in Spanish while you looked up at him with wide, examining eyes, before wordlessly opening your arms for the Spanish omega to hold you with a little chirp. Making a little huffing noise from your nose as that was familiar to anyone who had been around pups. 
You felt safe there. Even while Micheal, Mika, and now Fernando discussed the pack, with Marlene coaching the omega who would finally take over for her. You were curled against Fernando, eyes closed in content, purring. A little barret with blue and yellow in your hair to hold it out of your face that Nando seemed to have pulled from nowhere. Micheal scowls at the Renault merchandise. Likely already planning on dressing you in a head-to-toe outfit of Rosso Corsa the next time he’s visiting.
“She’s a Ferrari fan.”
“She’s a baby,” Nando sticks his tongue out, still every bit as immature as he was when he was first promoted to F1, but now seen as an equal to Micheal. “And she’s got im–im–im— oh, merde, what’s the English word?
“Impeccable,” Mika provides helpfully, the Finn simply happy to be there. Riding on the high of now officially having a new Prime Omega. “Being in accordance with the highest standards of propriety.” 
“Thank you. She has impeccable fashion taste. It’s not my fault the color scheme is so much better.” Nando coos, and you make another little huffing noise. 
The three current primes of the pack all freeze, before trying to play off how excited they are about your quiet happy noises. Especially Micheal, who has already lost control over some parts of his canine form, as though he’s a teenager again. His tail thumps against the wall, as Mika makes a happy crooning noise from the back of his throat. And Fernando preens, cooing to you. His instincts winning over. He’s beyond proud to be holding you, the youngest member of the pack, the sweet little pup that has been secretly snuck into so many different races, all to protect your identity.
Marlene turns back to Niki, silently mouthing ‘Are you seeing this?’ just as you make another happy huffing noise into Nando’s shoulder. Cue the mental happy dance that Niki knows he and Marlene both doing right now because you had only let your immediate pack and Micheal hold you. And you were now actively cuddling into Fernando’s shoulder— huffing! Like a pup! 
When Max Mosley himself came to hand over the documents, even he cooed over how you’re now asleep against Fernando. Drooling on his shoulder with the mottled side of your jaw and cheek pressed into his formal wear. You’re an adorable little thing, snuggled into the Prime Omega’s embrace. You wake up the moment they leave the building, blinking slowly at the sun. 
Marlene takes you then, laughing at the sleepy chirrups and whines you make at her, slurring between German and English as your Sisi rubs the sleep lines on your cheek. You squirm at their touch and clearly want to be let down. Your steps are wobbly, but you’re determined, taking several which steps away, as fast as you can on your warped leg. It drags slightly as you step, making it so you’re not as fast as you think. 
“Oh, the littlest member of our pack,” Micheal coos, lifting you easily to sit on his shoulders, laughing at the angry squeal you make after being caught. You grip onto his more wolfish ears that have revealed themselves, as though you’re going to steer him into the direction you want him to go. 
“Mick? Mick and Gina?” You lean over, to look at him, eyes wide and hopeful.  “Here?”
“Auf Deutsch fragen, Mausi.” Micheal looks at you, grinning. Mika seems to scowl a bit, letting out a stream of Finnish that the German just pokes his tongue out at him, like a child. Fernando just laughs, snickering into his hand before you turn your eyes onto him again, making grabby hands for him.
And who is he to say no to you? Not when you look so sweet, with the little prescription sunglasses to protect your eyes on, and a sun hat tied under your chin. Both had been swiftly added to your wardrobe the moment everyone had left the building, pulled from Marlene’s purse while you squirmed. “Oh, bebeita, so precious, I will get you whatever you want,” Fernando coos, letting you down, but holding you by your hand so you can’t run off. Walking slowly beside you as you look around, eyes wide and amazed by the new city.
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Final Day of Spring Testing, 2024. Sakhir, Bahrain
You’re leaning against the pit wall. Watching as all the final promotional pictures are taken of the drivers. All of them, standing in front of the cars, wearing serious expressions as they look into the cameras. 
Testing had finished an hour ago. You were required to be there for a few promotional pictures, and an article that the New York Times wanted to publish about you— the first woman to become a race engineer, and now to move up to a high-tier team like McLaren. You found that a bit insulting to Williams, that no one had really looked into it when you’d first been promoted, but after everything that had happened there, you were a bit disgusted by the team. 
Logan seems to shrink under the gaze of his team principal. You prickle, a protective instinct pushing into the back of your mind as you sink a bit lower. Oscar will handle it. That’s his courting partner after all, if anyone would fight to defend Logan, it would be Oscar. He’d raced against him since childhood. James turns, just enough to catch your gaze from where you’re leaning. He freezes, as if seeing some phantom, before turning on his heel and stalking into the Williams garage with an utterly furious look on his face.
Quietly, you head back into the garage. Your cheek twitches, aching. It almost seems like your skin, especially your scars, was prickling with all the tension in the air. Will had been quietly dismissed after handing in a written apology that was passed onto you by Andrea. 
Before you do anything else, you breathe in. Letting yourself smell the air around you. Burnt rubber and fuel. There’s clanking around you as mechanics work on a few separate parts. There’s the sound of typing as you sit, going over data on the monitors. Flipping through a notebook and scrawling down a few, final notes. 
Eggroll sits loyally at your feet, with her back to you, watching every single person who approaches. She’d been trained to react to his scent. To bay loudly and bark and to create such a racket that it would draw everyone’s attention to her and to see what was causing it. 
But for now, she’s silent. Letting you work. Eyes trained on the track. 
Chills run up the back of Lando’s neck and he shivers. He looks over to the pit wall, where you had previously been leaning and watching him, expecting to see you still there. He’s not quite sure why he feels disappointed that you’re not watching him anymore.
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1 Week to 2024 Season Opening. Norris Residence, Monaco.
Lando’s not quite sure what to make of you. You’ve officially been his engineer for a month now. You were… polite enough. Maybe a bit cold. But polite enough. No-nonsense, and clearly, it was helping him, as much as he hated to admit it. 
He says as much to Max, who cackles on the other side of the call. He can’t stop laughing, enough that he can almost imagine he’s still living in England, and they’re karting again. Having a sleepover, still pups, and arguing over FIFA matches. 
“Piss off, man,” Lando sinks lower into his chair, arms folded over his chest. They’re just waiting for the lobby to fill so they can start another round. “You’re acting like she’s some miracle.”
“Mate, because she is,” Max says. Lando can hear the aggressive typing on his side. “Here, let me stream this quick, get out of the game. We can play more later.”
Max googled your name as Lando slumped into his chair. Recent articles all pop up, including the one you’d been getting photographed for on the last day of testing. Part of Lando also wants to google what exactly your relationship with Oscar was, but when he does, he only gets a picture of you walking beside Logan from last season, with Oscar trailing behind, not even fully in focus in the background. 
A Wiki link gets dropped in their personal chat. And then a large PDF file a few seconds later.
“She has her own wiki page!”
“That’s not that cool,” Lando sulks, but he clicks on the link regardless. The current image of you is one taken from the press briefing when you’d first been introduced, with your braided hair and black turtleneck. You’re making a little scowl, and looking slightly to the side, as though you’re annoyed at something. Lando feels a bit smug when he sees his name linked under Driver’s Worked With. “I have a wiki page. I’m probably mentioned, like, a dozen times in hers!.”
“Yeah, but, you’re famous. You’re a driver, and a damn popular one at that. Race engineers don’t normally get that much attention.” Max chides. 
That’s… a good point. Your page is… shockingly long, for someone a year younger than him. A quick scroll through makes Lando realize that there is still quite a bit he has yet to figure out about you. 
“Why the fuck is it so long?” Lando mutters as he scrolls through the Early Life section, which inadvertently jump-scares him with a picture of toddler you, covered in shiny, pink burn scars and staring at the camera with wide, confused eyes. You’re in a little sun hat, and you’re holding onto Niki’s hand, while walking in the street. Your sire is glaring at the camera. A few other F1 drivers arc around you, notably, with Micheal Schumacher almost in front of you, as if to prevent you from being seen. 
Stupidly, he briefly thinks about how weird genetics were to pass down Niki’s scars to you, before he smacks his forehead and realizes how impossible it is to inherit burn scars from your sire. 
Oscar had mentioned you’d survived a house fire. But based on how you looked now…. Lando’d just assumed that you’d gotten lucky and not gotten badly burned. He’s more confused by the whole situation now and actually starts to read the article. 
Lauda was born in North Carolina, to her mother, Magnolia Davis. Though Niki Lauda has refused to comment on any questions to how she was conceived or when, it is suspected that the former champion had a short-term affair in early 2001, based on her October birthday. 
Not much is known about the first four years of her life, other than the fact that Davis had primary custody, and the two lived in Banner Elk until her Dam’s passing in March of 2005, due to a housefire that also left Lauda with chronic medical conditions. Official reports on the fire have blamed outdated electrical work for causing the fire, due to the age of the cabin that the two lived in. Niki Lauda took custody soon after, relocating the four-year-old Lauda to Austria. 
That was surprising. 
“She’s got medical conditions?” Lando tilts his head. Looking back at the picture of a toddler you. The wide, confused eyes, and the way the skin along the right side of your jaw seems… sticky, with an odd shine to it. 
“You’re joking,” Max deadpans. 
“No— she—” Lando stutters, oddly defensive. You’d never seemed to have issues, you looked, and acted (for the most part) normally! “—She never mentioned any!”
“Mate.” Max sounds almost disappointed. “She’s deaf in one ear. Legally blind, too, I’m pretty sure. 
“Don’t give me the mom tone! And again, she didn’t mention any!”
“You do know she’s like,” Max pauses, and Lando just knows he’s scrolling through your wiki page even more, trying to find other things to hold over his head. “... a prominent disability rights advocate, right? Another medical condition, that bum leg of hers—”
“You didn’t know that before reading this.”
“I did not,” Max concedes, failing miserably at hiding his smug snickering. “But you should have!”
“Fuck off, I went on a phone cleanse for a month before coming back to work,” Lando mutters, sinking further into his chair, sulking like a child, and scrolling down further. Section titles like Education & Research, Disability Rights Work, and Personal Life all beckoned to him to read more. 
“So…”  Max trails off. “Wanna be nosy together?”
“Oh, absolutely.” 
Lando spends the next three hours with Max, stalking all your social media posts, your admittedly impressive library of published articles of your research on how the aerodynamics and design of F1 cars could be used to create more fuel-efficient everyday cars, trains, and boats that could eventually help phase out the usage of fossil-fuels in cars altogether.
Your early life section is still bleak even after the two initial paragraphs. 
It is unknown why the Davis pack did not take custody of Lauda after her Dam’s untimely passing. Leaked documents from the now-defunct Banner Elk hospital have revealed that the pack signed away their next-of-kin and pack rights, along with requesting a no-contact order to be upheld until Lauda reached legal age, or in the case that the then-pup died due to her injuries. 
According to reports that were granted by a FOIA request, investigators at the scene of the fire were there to retrieve the bodies of Lauda and her Dam, when she was discovered under a metal bedframe near the remains of Davis a few feet away. Davis was buried in her pack’s grave plot in the Old Elk Valley Baptist Church Cemetery. It is unknown if Lauda has attempted contact with her Dam’s pack.
The public became aware of her existence when tabloids were given access to photos of Lauda spending time with her Sire’s pack during her stay in the hospital. The article published was titled “Die Ratte und das Mäuschen!” which resulted in her gaining the nickname “Das Maus” which has stuck with her since. 
By all accounts, Lauda claims to have had an otherwise normal and happy childhood with her sire’s pack, and made her first official public appearance in August 2005, leaving the FIA Headquarters in Paris, with her Sire, Niki Lauda, and other members of the Formula 1 Pack after Fernando Alonso was appointed Prime Omega. She has said she was close with 7-time World Champion, Micheal Schumacher and was regularly seen spending time with his pups when in the paddock to accompany her Sire. 
Not much else is known about Lauda’s early life, with the pack being very private. 
Well, shit. No wonder you were a bit cold. You probably barely remembered your Dam, even without considering the traumatizing end she’d met. There aren’t any pictures provided of your Dam— Magnolia— and only a handful of pictures of you as a pup. None before the fire. He tries to imagine it. There’s only one of you with your little ears and tail out— one of your eas is more of a little patch of fur. You’re grinning up at a much younger Nico Rosberg, who has you tucked under his arm like some ball. There’s a blur where your tail would be, peeking out behind you, showing that you must have been overjoyed to be there with the German. Your grin is infectious as you look up at him. Little fangs jutting out over your bottom lip. 
It’s actually quite adorable. With how fluffy your hair is and the little snaggle tooth hanging on your lower lip. He can almost hear the happy squealing noises from the picture. 
Did you make those noises when you were with your Dam? Or were they reserved for when you lived in Austria, joining him at every possible race, bounding behind in your canine form, as a tiny puppy? Yapping and screeching behind him, while probably being followed by various Formula 1 legends intending to keep you behaving. 
Which was. An amusing idea, to say the least. Picturing a younger Fernando Alonso, or Alain Prost running after you. Perhaps even a rookie Lewis, holding you by the scruff and padding towards the Ferrari garage in his canine form. The massive black wolf holding a tiny puppy. 
You had been affiliated with Mercedes for while— that’s where you’d gained the majority of your experience— serving as a race engineer to the lower divisions. Also giving some of the most out-of-pocket comments to the younger drivers to encourage them forwards out of spite. 
He’s so busy working on learning more about you— apparently, your favorite color is red, you’ve had three service dogs before Eggroll, and you have an irresistible love of mochi— that he doesn’t notice two different things he’s done. 
One. Nowhere in the article does it mention your designation, which was still a very big mystery to him. Maybe his instincts had started to really calm down now, but Lando’s pretty sure you’re an Alpha. Maybe it’s projection. Maybe’s it the basics of genetics he remembers from his middle-school biology classes he took online. If your mother was a beta, there was a large chance you could be an Alpha. The chances for you being a beta were low, a 25% chance. He didn’t know all of the exact science behind it, but he knew it wasn’t looking good. 
And two. 
Lando and Max had, in their online stalking frenzy, found your various social media pages. And more importantly, Lando had stumbled across your LinkedIn page. While many didn’t know he had a LinkedIn, he did. It was a more private one, one his Sire encouraged him to make. But he still had one regardless and he occasionally would recall he had it and would update it, as he actually had just a few days ago, when his brother had been teasing him about it. He vaguely knew that people could see when he was on their page, but he didn’t really know much else. 
He also didn’t know that he was still logged in. 
At 12:27am, an hour behind Monaco, you get a notification on your phone while Oscar and Logan bicker about what late-night food is best to order at the moment.
Lando Norris and others have recently viewed your profile. 
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tags: @charlesgirl16@boo8008@the-holy-trinity-l@laura-naruto-fan1998@amalialeclerc@vellicora@st0rmzi3@poppyflower-22@hiireadstuff@seonghwaexile@mrsmelinda@actuallyazriel@noam-rosier-icr
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digitaldiary · 1 day ago
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february 9th, 2025
i have a pounding headache as i write this, most likely brought on by the adderall i took this morning. usually adderall = productive day for me, but somehow i got carried away and then next thing you know, i'm looking up from my phone and laptop and realizing i've been doing nothing for the past 4 hours. i went to a friend's place for a super bowl party but by then the headache had started and i was already sort of sad. i just decided it'd be best for me to go home.
new york winters bring a mix of emotions for me. i love when the snow falls, but hate the next day when it's slushy and slippery and my shoes and socks get soaked no matter how hard i try to avoid puddles. the cold is depressing and brutal, but a welcome, tangible indicator of change and the passage of time. two years ago i got my heart broken during a new york summer and since then, i find relief and comfort in the other three seasons. by the time summer rolls around again, i am reminded of two years ago, and then a whole different mix of emotions comes.
i moved to new york city five years ago as a wide-eyed, determined, naive, highly-motivated 20-year-old girl with dreams of working in fashion. i was born and raised in a suburb in northern california, largely quite sheltered and without any real-world experience. i still cannot drive. back when i first came here, i was very excited about life and my future, albeit very very very anxious and clueless. i had good intentions in everything i did, and still now, if one thing about me persists, it is that.
today i am 25 years old, working a 9-5 fashion job. unfortunately and disappointingly, i am much less concerned with my career as i used to be as it's taken a backseat to my never-ending struggles with mental health. most big dreams i had have been extinguished by reality and the ups and downs of life. i think also, maybe as i've gotten older, i've found that simple pleasures are enough to keep me content. maybe that is cope, i am not sure, i go back and forth on whether i am lying to myself because i've half-bakedly accomplished some of my dreams and realized that some may never come true. but that's another internal dispute amongst the thousands i must filter through every day of my existence.
when i got my heart broken two years ago, it was like a big bang of sorts for me - the breaking acted as a catalyst for lots of internal change, tough conversations with myself, and self-discovery. somehow i pushed through the excruciating emotional and existential pain and in the time after, i was able to build myself up from scratch. in that painstaking building of self, i became confident and assured of my identity, my core, my values, who i was and who i am. i had spent so much of my life trying to transform myself into what i thought others wanted me to be, so to get to a place where i was myself and no one else and i was happy to be myself... it was very unfamiliar and unprecedented for me but also very exciting.
but that newness has faded as life has continued onwards. there's a quote from the bible that says "as a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool repeats his folly". romance has always been THE dictator of my life, cruelly deciding my mood, my purpose, my worth, etc. in short - i have reattempted to find love over the past two years only to be left disappointed time and time again. each failed relationship has left a chip on my shoulder, and all the cracks in my form have caused me to break once again. my niche micro-celebrity crush recently tweeted "everything falls apart all the time" (and he plays a larger role in my recent "breaking" that maybe i will one day have the courage or lack of care to share). but he was right. everything has fallen apart for me. i'm holding on to three pieces - my family, my friends, and my work. i can't even remember what my original shape was. i'm just gripping these shards as hard as i can and they're slitting my skin but i won't let go. they're all that i have.
i don't mean to sound so doomer, this is more of a stream of consciousness that i'm sharing as a life update of sorts... don't worry about me too much, i'm quite used to this feeling by now!
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ivyues · 16 hours ago
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Chasing Yesterday | 3 | - Bang Chan
Bang Chan x lost connection trainee friend
Years after splitting paths, Bang Chan didn't expect a simple text to bring an old friend – and old feelings – back into his life.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5
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A few weeks into your songwriting exchanges, with Chris texting at the oddest hours, late-night texts became a common occurrence. One particular night, around 2:37 AM, your phone buzzed. Squinting at the screen, you saw a message from him:
"What do you think about this for the chorus?" followed by a snippet of lyrics, raw but laced with his unmistakable poetic charm.
You chuckled, shaking your head as you typed back: "Ever the insomniac, I see."
His reply came almost instantly: "Only when inspiration hits. Or maybe it's your fault for making me think about this song all the time."
Your cheeks warmed at his words, and you found yourself smiling at the screen longer than necessary. "Well, I can’t be held responsible for your midnight genius," you quipped.
There was a pause before his next message arrived. "Do you ever share your lyrics with anyone else, or just me?"
The question was casual on the surface, but something about it made your stomach flutter. You hesitated, trying to read between the lines, before responding: "Not really, just you. Why, are you keeping tabs?"
His reply had a playful edge, but the undertone was clear: "Maybe I am. Hard to keep up when you probably have someone else keeping you up at night too."
You blinked at the screen, your heart skipping a beat as the subtle question sank in. Was he asking what you thought he was asking?
"Nope, no one else," you typed quickly, feeling the heat creep up your neck. "Just you and your insomniac ramblings."
For a moment, there was no reply, and you wondered if you’d imagined the implication. Then your phone lit up again.
"Good to know," he wrote simply, followed by a winking emoji.
The fluttering in your chest lingered long after, his subtle words replaying in your mind as you turned your attention back to his lyrics – though focusing on the song was suddenly a lot harder.
-----
Weeks later, you found yourselves standing in front of the shop you used to frequent as trainees. The neighborhood had changed, but the nostalgia was undeniable. The darkness of the night making it feel as if time was turned back.
"I can't believe that convenience store is still here," you said, pointing to a brightly lit corner across the street.
"That place got us through some rough days," he said, smiling as he nudged your shoulder playfully. "I bet they still have those awful instant noodles you used to love."
"You mean the ones you kept stealing from me?" you shot back, bumping him back.
After a brief silence, he pointed ahead to a street corner. "Remember that time we got caught sneaking back late from practice? Right there."
"Oh, how could I forget? You tripped over nothing, and the instructor thought we were drunk."
"In my defense, I was exhausted," he said, holding up his hands. "And maybe a little lightheaded from laughing at your terrible jokes."
"My terrible jokes?" you shot back, raising an eyebrow. "I’m the reason you survived those trainee days, don’t even lie."
He grinned, bumping your shoulder gently. "Okay, maybe you were the reason. But you owe me for all those times I covered for you when you skipped warm-ups."
"You’re never going to let that go, are you?"
"Not a chance," he said, smirking.
For a moment, neither of you said anything, content to walk quietly in the comforting familiarity of the nightern neighborhood. The sounds of crickets and the occasional car passing by filled the silence.
At one point, he took to balancing on the edge of the curb, arms outstretched like a tightrope walker.
"You haven't changed," you teased, watching him wobble dramatically.
"Sure I have," he said, hopping back onto the pavement. He glanced at you, his expression soft. “You know, my members keep bugging me about you."
"Yeah?" you asked, hiding your smile.
"Yeah. They're dying to meet the person who's been making me stay up all night."
"And here I thought it was the music," you quipped playfully, but feeling a flutter of warmth as his laugh echoed in the quiet street.
As you came to a halt, a quiet hum filled the space between you – the faint rustle of leaves, the distant hum of a car engine. But it all faded as he lifted his hand, his fingers brushing tentatively against your cheek. The touch was warm, steady, and it made your heart stutter in your chest.
"I���ve been wanting to do this for a while," he said, almost in a whisper. His thumb gently traced the curve of your cheekbone, and his expression was so open, so unguarded, that it left you breathless.
"You always overthink," you teased softly, your voice trembling just enough to betray how your pulse raced.
He smiled faintly, the corners of his lips twitching as he leaned in, slow and deliberate. His eyes searched for yours, giving you all the time in the world to pull away. But you didn’t move. The space between you felt electric, pulling you closer and closer.
And then, as his lips hovered just a breath away from yours, you closed the gap. Your lips met his in a soft, delicate kiss, barely there but enough to make the world tilt on its axis.
When you drew back, your faces lingered close, his hand still cradling your face as if he was afraid to let go. His eyes fluttered open, and the awe in his gaze sent a fresh wave of warmth through you.
"I..." He laughed softly, a little breathless. "I really hope I can keep you in my life this time."
You smiled, your cheeks flushed as you covered his hand with yours. "Guess that means you’ll just have to try harder."
His grin widened, the playful glint returning to his eyes as he let his hand drop to your side. And as you resumed walking, his fingers found yours, intertwining them as if they’d always belonged there.
-----
One night, when you were halfway between sleep and wakefulness, your phone buzzed on the nightstand. Groaning softly, you reached for it, blinking at the screen to see Chris’ name glowing against the darkness.
Without hesitation, you swiped to answer. “Hello?” your voice came out groggy, but warm enough to convey you didn’t mind the late-night call.
“Hey,” his voice came through, quiet but heavy. “Sorry for waking you... again.”
“It’s fine,” you murmured, sitting up slightly and tucking the blanket around your shoulders. “What’s wrong? Studio night?”
He sighed, and the sound alone made your chest tighten. “Yeah. I’ve been here for hours, and there is this song for the new album—" He paused. “It’s not coming together. I’ve tried everything, but something’s missing, and I just... I didn’t know who else to call.”
Your heart softened at his admission. He sounded worn out, like he’d been carrying the weight of it alone for far too long. “I’m glad you called me,” you said gently. “Tell me about the song.”
“It’s supposed to feel big—emotional—but also grounded. Right now, it just feels... unfinished.” His frustration was evident, each word edged with self-doubt.
“Why don’t you play it for me?” you suggested, lying back down and settling the phone beside your ear on the pillow.
There was a pause, and you could almost hear him hesitating. “You sure? It’s... pretty rough.”
“I don’t care. I want to hear it,” you said with a smile he couldn’t see, but maybe he could hear it in your voice.
“Okay, hang on.”
The faint shuffling of him setting things up came through, followed by the opening notes of the track. The sound was distant through the phone’s speaker, but even like this, you could feel the rawness in it. The melody was beautiful – aching and layered – but you could hear what he meant. It wasn’t quite complete.
When it ended, silence hung between you for a moment before you spoke. “It’s good.”
“Yeah, but it’s not enough,” he said quietly. “I don’t know what it needs.”
You thought for a moment, closing your eyes as you replayed the song in your mind. “What if you added something more... organic? Like a vocal sample? Something raw to balance the electronic layers?”
The line went quiet, and you worried you’d overstepped. But then he exhaled a soft laugh, the tension in his voice easing. “We can try it.”
For the next little while, you stayed on the line as he tinkered with the track, bouncing ideas back and forth. He’d hum a phrase or play a new layer, asking for your thoughts before adding it in. Despite the late hour, there was a certain comfort in hearing the way his voice shifted from frustration to quiet focus as you worked together.
“Thank you, Y/N. I don’t know what I’d do without you sometimes,” he said, his voice carrying a warmth that made your chest feel lighter. 
His words wrapped around you like a blanket, and you hummed softly in response. “You’re welcome, Chris. I’m always here.”
“Still,” he continued, his tone soft but serious. “I owe you.”
The conversation lingered as he talked about the track, how much it meant to him, and the plans he had for it. His voice, steady and soothing, was the last thing you remembered clearly.
Somewhere between his words and the comfort of the moment, your eyelids grew heavier, while your phone still rested on the pillow next to your head.
“Y/N?” His voice broke through faintly, but you were already drifting. “Are you still—oh. You fell asleep, huh?”
You didn’t hear him chuckle softly on the other end or his quiet, “Goodnight, Y/Nnie.”
The line stayed connected, the faint hum of the studio bleeding through as he worked, glancing at his phone every so often to see the call still ongoing, a quiet comfort in knowing you were there, even in sleep.
-----
The restaurant buzzed with conversation and laughter as you and Chris stepped inside. He had picked you up for the long awaited introduction to your members. The guys were already gathered around a large table, and the moment they spotted the two of you, an eruption of greetings filled the space. Some were teasing, some warm, but all carried an easy familiarity that made you smile.  
Chris gestured for you to sit beside him, and as you settled in, you let out a nervous sigh, crossing your arms.  
"This feels like meeting the kids you didn’t know about," you mused, breaking the silence. 
Laughter broke out instantly. Felix leaned forward, grinning. "Yeah, your co-parent over here has been keeping secrets from you."  
Chris groaned, rubbing his face, but the corners of his lips twitched upward. "I knew this was a bad idea."  
Seungmin grinned mischievously. “You say that, but you have been talking about her a lot.”
At that, everyone turned their attention to Chris, their teasing grins widening.
Felix gasped, clutching his chest dramatically. “Oh, so much talking.”
“I wasn’t—” Chris started, but Hyunjin interrupted.
“Oh, you so were.” He turned to you. “He literally never shuts up about you.”
“Hyunjin,” Chris warned, but his ears were already turning red.
You couldn’t help but grin. “Well, I’m flattered.”
“Don’t be,” Chris muttered, shooting the others a look. “These kids are just out for some trouble.”
The conversation flowed effortlessly after that, the boys naturally pulling you into their dynamics. They were curious about your history with Chris, and you found yourself reminiscing about your trainee days together.  
At one point, I.N called Chrs hyung, and you blinked in surprise.  
"Wow," you muttered. "That still feels so weird to hear."  
Chris raised an eyebrow. "What does?"  
"You being a hyung," you explained, shaking your head. "When we trained together, he was always one of the youngest. And now he's got all of you younger members looking up to you." You smirked. 
Felix grinned. "That’s so different from what we know."  
Hyunjin leaned in conspiratorially. "Yeah, when I joined, he had this whole intimidating, dark aura radiation off of him."  
You scoffed. "Intimidating?"  
"Yeah!" Hyunjin nodded eagerly. "I was honestly scared of him at first. He was always focused, serious during practice, and since he was already leading the team, he had this whole don’t-mess-with-me energy."  
You snorted, looking at Chris with pure disbelief. "Where was that energy when we were trainees? Because I remember you misusing honorifics, offending your hyungs by accident, and playing way too many pranks."  
I.N gasped. "What?"  
Chris groaned, sinking lower in his seat as the table erupted in laughter. "Why did I bring you here again?"  
"You love me," you teased, bumping your shoulder against his.  
Reminiscing about Chris’ trainee days, they quickly started asking about your own time as a trainee.  
"Noona, how long did you train?" Felix asked curiously.  
"A bit over three years," you answered easily.  
There was a pause, followed by various sounds of disbelief as that was longer than most of them trained.
"You trained for three years and just quit?" Hyunjin gaped.  
You shrugged. "Yeah, well. Life happens. Things don’t always go the way you plan."  
The table fell quiet for a moment, a few of them exchanging thoughtful glances. Then Han, ever the mood-maker, leaned forward with a smirk.  
"That’s wild. And now you’re the mystery person keeping hyung up all night."  
Chris choked on his drink, coughing. "For music. Don’t get any weird ideas."  
"Sure, sure," Han teased.  
"By the way," Changbin started, eyeing Chris suspiciously. "There’s this song he has been working on, but he won’t show us."  
"Yeah," Han chimed in, pointing his chopsticks at Chris. "Every time we try to listen, he closes his laptop or changes the subject."  
You didn’t even have to look at Chris to know. You felt his eyes on you instantly.  
You turned slightly, meeting his gaze.  
And you knew. They were talking about that song. The one that, since you were teenagers, was kept between just the two of you.
-----
Hours after the dinner with the members, you laid sprawled out on your bed, staring at the ceiling, still replaying moments from the night. 
Your phone buzzed on the nightstand, the screen lighting up with a message from Felix who you had freshly exchanged numbers with.
Felix🐥: Noona, it was really nice meeting you. 😊 I hope you had a great time!
Felix🐥: You mean a lot to him, you know.
You blinked at the screen, suddenly more awake. Your fingers hovered over the keyboard before you typed back.
You: That obvious, huh?
Felix🐥: Painfully. The way he looks at you? It’s different. Like you’re the only person in the room.
Your heart skipped.
Felix🐥: I’ve known Chan for years, but I’ve never seen him like this.
You swallowed, staring at the message for longer than necessary. There was a weight to Felix’s words, something deeper than just casual teasing.
Felix🐥: Just thought you should know.
You bit your lip, warmth blooming in your chest.
You: Thanks, Lix. ❤️
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pt.4 | pt.5 | masterlist
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glasratz · 2 days ago
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You know, usually when you have people talking shit about the police, it's from someone who got in trouble with them. Since I never got in conflict with the police, I thought I could provide some contrast by telling about every single encounter with the German police I ever had.
In the late 90s, someone made a threat of a school shooting at my school. For the given day the police placed one car with two officers in the shade behind the sports hall. When I walked past, one of the officers was just having a bottle of beer.
2. Once a big squad car cut me off while I was just walking down the street and they demanded to see my papers. I provided them and they were gone in an instant. Later I realized I was wearing a leather jacket and that must have been very suspicious.
3. Me and my brother were the only direct witnesses of a motorcycle accident and he provided first aid. The police took down our names and told us to wait on the site. After almost two hours we left. They never came back to us. According to the bullshit the paper wrote later, they didn't find any other witnesses and wasted resources looking for a hit-and-run driver, while in reality there was no one else involved. The motorcyclist just lost control.
4. Once I called the police on some scammers ripping off students at the campus of my university. They told they'd come but they didn't show up. When I went home, I found them waiting in the university's underground garage (!). I provided them with details of the scammers that were long gone by that point. The papers later told me that they didn't catch them for months, since they kept doing their thing in other parts of the town, too.
5. My car was damaged in a hit-and-run accident. The neighbours were all to earger to tell me that it was one of the vehicles from a nearby construction site. There was even debris painted orange next to my car. I called the police and was told to drive up to the station, call them again and someone would come out to have a look at my car. Of course they forgot about me and I had to call again after waiting for an hour. Then they kept the case open for one full week. They didn't even look into it.
6. When I was taking a train to a nearby town, a young couple (16 and 17 years old) was shaken down by plain clothes narcotics officers. Not did those guys (and one gal) look like tatooed gangsters, they were extremely loud and rude. It almost seemed like they wanted to make sure everyone in the train knew that they had just caught two criminals. They found one (1) joint and a plastic bag that smelled like dope. One of the youths was able to provide a doctor's prescription, but they just laughed that off. The train ride took five minutes to the terminus, so they easily could have waited until the next stop and questioned the couple outside in private.
7. Once I lost an important paper and some good guy handed it in at the police station. When I picked it up, the officer gave me a piece of paper with the contact information of the person who found my stuff, so that I could thank him. When I looked at the paper at home I noticed that it not only gave his name and adress, but also his date of birth, marital status, employer and ID card number.
So that paints quite the picture, doesn't it? I'm not saying that if I did my job like that I would be fired or sued, because that's simply not true. Still, you'd imagine that at one point you'd see them doing their job right, wouldn't you.
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buckshotanon · 3 days ago
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This is a simple question with a complicated answer. There are a few factors we currently have no way of knowing that will determine what this scenario would look like, namely how much time passed between the extermination and the beginning of season 2. For that reason and just based on not yet knowing what will happen, I might go over this again once season 2 releases.
But even without that information, the big thing to figure out would be what finding him "in time" means. As I mentioned before, a non-penetrating TBI like the one he faced (getting hit on the back of the head, causing additional damage to the front of the brain as it strikes the inside of the skull) would kill in about 8-24 hours depending on severity, but other complications and longterm damage would occur in a shorter period.
Technically, it can take considerably longer like days or weeks for complications with a head injury to reveal themselves, but the force Alastor hit the wall with, and how his head made contact with that wall, added to everything else he had going on is where the acute time frame comes from, instead of subacute which would have given the longer range. The time frame for debilitating complications could also be significantly shorter, only a matter of minutes. But if it were that bad, he wouldn't have gotten up from Adam's blow, or if he did, would have been on the brink of death before the battle ended, let alone however long it took to find him.
So what defines "in time" would be between simply preventing death, or preventing anything hard to recover from. It is possible for people to recover remarkably well from even severe TBIs, but the chances are directly correlated with how long it takes for that person to receive medical attention. It is possible in any case, as long as the person is still breathing there is a chance, but probable is another matter entirely.
The ideal would be for Alastor to be found immediately before the worst of the symptoms could reveal themselves, but the one most likely to accomplish that would be his soul owner, and even then it could take some time to locate and reach him depending on where he was.
Given his circumstances and adrenaline, Alastor's symptoms have the highest chance of manifesting somewhere between 30 minutes and 2 hours, and once they did, they would worsen fast. There is wiggle room, it could happen much faster or slower, but adrenaline can do this funny thing where it won't tell you about dire problems until the adrenaline fades, and Alastor's adrenaline would be extremely active. Even if his symptoms were on the faster end, it may take him some time to process there is something wrong.
With this in mind, for the best chance of longterm recovery, the hotel would need to start looking, if not immediately, within a couple hours. If all that matters is him being alive, the max would be about 12-20 hours. He could be dead by that point if the injury was on the very severe side (in which case the max would be around 5-6 hours), but that would be a general maximum for what would constitute "in time."
Alastor ended up in the radio tower, and with the aid of adrenaline, he should be able to make it there from wherever he first was. Not gracefully, I've only talked about the head injury thus far but for full realistic injuries, the rest of his torso is some combination of broken, bruised, ruptured, sprained, or strained, which would cause even a non-damaged brain to be not in the best state. That alone would make my personal max for starting the search 12 hours, but humanoids are weirdly durable sometimes, so it wouldn't be strange for Alastor's max on his own to be longer. Him making it to the fallen radio tower means he wasn't too far from the rest of the hotel, so once the search began, it shouldn't take more than an hour or so to actually find him. It could take longer, easily, but if they started in the surrounding area it shouldn't take too long.
That's the set up out of the way. From here, there are a few different ways this could go, entirely depending on the severity of the brain bleed and how long it took to be found.
------------------
ASAP: The ideal scenario, Alastor was found somewhere between immediately and within an hour or two. Even if the symptoms have manifested, unless the head injury was extremely severe, he has a higher chance of still being conscious. He may be disoriented and suffer a headache, and could experience post-traumatic amnesia as many who suffer a TBI do, but that would be temporary, and his chances of longterm recovery with proper medical care would be greatly increased.
Even if his symptoms haven't manifested, one of the most obvious signs would be one or both eyes being visibly dilated when they shouldn't be. The moment after being struck by Adam when his eyes were different, one black and one red, could be made into a stylistic way of conveying that, but a difference in pupils alone would be more realistic. One or both ears may begin to droop as well. Both of these signs would become more apparent the more time has gone on.
Moderate Time: Alastor was found within 4-10 hours. The chances of finding him conscious have notably decreased. If he is conscious, he will be experiencing clear symptoms, and is almost guaranteed to be in a state of post-traumatic amnesia. How that manifests would be a state of extreme confusion, struggle to remember things (not full-blown amnesia, but would not be able to answer menial things like conversations he had or what he ate that day), not recognizing people, and could become either very aggressive or unusually docile—it could go either way, but given Alastor's emotional state he would not be able to control, he has a higher chance of aggression. He may experience photophobia, dizziness, nausea and vomiting, and have lost a considerable amount of his vision. Depending on severity, he would struggle to speak or understand speech, and if he still had that ability, his words would come out slurred.
Something that would be apparent around this point is Alastor may struggle or be unable to regulate his body temperature. He could be either too hot or too cold, depending on external factors like weather and how his other injuries impact his circulation.
In the event he still has enough control of his extremities (unlikely considering everything with his torso, as well as numbness and loss of coordination, but it is possible) he may try to wander, which could make finding him more difficult. An argument could be made of him going to the radio tower while in a wandering state, searching for somewhere familiar because of the confusion.
If found unconscious, his chances of survival would be reduced, but he would by that point not be in a coma, though he could fall into one rather easily. If given medical intervention fast enough, he should be saved before too much damage is done, and if he did fall into a coma, his estimate to wake up would be sooner rather than later. But he will have a rockier longterm recovery than if he was found earlier; there could be permanent effects or ones that take longer to recover from.
If found conscious, that greatly improves his chances of a smoother recovery, and the goal would be to keep him conscious for as long as possible until getting the proper help. This may be difficult to do, and will become more so the more time has passed. If he does lose consciousness, the goal becomes waking him up again.
Be careful if the method of choice is rubbing a knuckle against his sternum. That can be risky with Alastor's situation, and should not be done at all if his ribs are broken.
Maximum Time: Alastor was found at the maximum duration for this specific brain bleed that is still survivable. He will not be conscious—he will more than likely be in a coma or on the brink of one, and will have experienced seizures.
The goal would be to wake him up if possible, but that would be doubtful. He would need immediate emergency surgery, with the chances of success being reduced but still possible. Something to take note of in any of these outcomes but specifically this one is he may score lower on the GCS (Glasgow Coma Scale) than is actually true, on account of his other injuries making it difficult to get a reliable score. Testing his motor responses doesn't work when there is damage to the muscles and bones that are important to those responses.
Where he would score on the GCS isn't guaranteed, and even if it was, that test isn't an end-all-be-all especially for reasons mentioned above, but a rule of thumb would be somewhere between 3-8. How long he would remain comatose and the ramifications of that would depend on his starting point.
If by some miracle he was able to be woken up, it would be only in technicality. He would not be coherent or responding to people around him beyond reacting to stimuli.
Making a full or significant recovery is possible especially with the proper care, but a poor neurological outcome would be the standard to prepare for.
------------------
Which of these do I think is most likely? If his soul owner is allowed to intervene, somewhere between ASAP and moderate. If it's the hotel, somewhere between moderate and max. That's not me making any commentary on the characters, but based on the circumstances and everything going on, his soul owner would have an objective edge the hotel would not have unless Alastor had enough of his sense about him to send an SOS to Husk or Niffty. Asking someone with serious head trauma and disorientation to have enough sense to do that is a tall order, and even if he did, it may be too late to do so successfully by that point. Hence moderate or max.
Timeline, Treatment, and Other Complications
Obviously, how this would impact Alastor's involvement in season 2 depends on the question proposed earlier: how much time was there between the extermination and the beginning of season 2? All signs from the finale song and the scenes after point to the idea season 2 will take place immediately if not extremely soon after the end of season 1, at most the same period between the pilot and the series proper of about a week. That means the real question to ask is how long was between the extermination and the end of the finale song.
The average time from research to build a large hotel is about 2.5-3 years, though the fastest record time was allegedly 15 days based on foundation built ahead of time and some other factors that still left the end product of questionable safety but technically done. From what we see of the hotel's construction involving no shipment wait times and the use of magic, a guess of the Hazbin Hotel taking 2.5-3 weeks feels more reasonable. However, that estimate has a caveat in this scenario that may cause things to move slower, because having someone in the hospital tends to reduce morale and energy, even if only by a little. With construction, the opposite happening of manic energy and determination to get things done would lead to concerns of the building being structurally sound, so that speed would cancel itself out.
Based on that estimate, Alastor would have 25-28 days, a little under a month, from point of injury until the expectation to do things during season 2.
That's not going to happen.
Anyone who has had a concussion can probably attribute to what a bastard they can be to shake. While most concussions do resolve themselves for the most part in a week or two, with an average of roughly 10 days, even milder concussions can linger for months. The TBI Alastor is facing is a bit more than a mild-moderate concussion.
Some brain hemorrhages don't require surgery. Alastor may be able to escape that if he was found ASAP, but it's more probable that even in the best circumstance, he would need at least decompression, drilling a hole in the skull to drain blood and relieve pressure in the brain. What is much more likely, especially in the worse cases, is a piece of his skull would be removed and replaced, to relieve the pressure and manage the source of the bleeding. Congratulations, Alastor, whatever is going on with the back of your hair might spare you some of the impromptu haircut that will result from this.
How long recovery from this would take depends on if the piece of skull can be replaced at this time or would need to be done as a follow-up surgery. In the case of emergencies where there wasn't scheduling ahead of time or if the swelling in Alastor's brain was a serious concern beyond draining the blood, it's more common this would need to be a second procedure and the patient would wear a helmet in the interim, but it can be done at once, which would make the surgery a craniotomy instead of a craniectomy + cranioplasty.
Given the options for who would be bringing him in, there would be a much higher incentive to do the procedure all at once. Royalty being involved would magically make this procedure more convenient for everyone, because that is the world we live in. Obviously, this would change if Alastor needed time to reduce the swelling in his brain and would die without that time, but if the swelling could be managed in other ways, a craniotomy would be the goal. If the removed piece of skull was too damaged to be placed back in, a metal plate would be used instead. There are other synthetic materials that could be used, but doubtfully on that short of notice.
So, Alastor is once again down some skull. Between this and the chances of vision loss, he can expect some feelings of déjà vu. Not that he would be conscious for that déjà vu for a while. The procedure itself would take somewhere between 3-5 hours, but could run longer when accounting for everything else going on in his torso that could make him harder to stabilize. Even if none of his other injuries were serious enough to require surgery, his slash wound from Adam would need to be treated at some point, and that would add more time, up to around an hour.
Tests would be done to make sure no broken bones were about to puncture organs and none of those organs had ruptured. If they had, surgery would be significantly more intensive, and how long it would take depends on the organ. It should be mentioned if there was serious damage to his organs, that would drastically reduce the time to find him before he succumbs, I wouldn't go beyond 3-5 hours at most. If it was a ruptured heart or pneumothorax, he would be done for or at least in grave danger before ASAP could find him. But the ask was about the head injury, so I won't go into this quite as much.
All of this is important when accounting for how long Alastor would be looking at for recovery. Typically with a craniotomy, what would follow after leaving the operating room is a transfer to the ICU to be monitored for roughly 24 hours, and he would stay in the hospital an additional week.
However, what complicates this would be the event Alastor did fall comatose, which would mean a prolonged state of unconsciousness, that requires more dedicated care and a longer stay in the ICU to support his spinal cord, breathing, organ function, and circulation until he has woken up. For that reason, the aftermath of this surgery would likely be exclusively in the ICU, and he would stay there anywhere from a few days to a few weeks depending on the severity of his condition.
There could be an argument made to transfer him somewhere else for personal safety reasons, but that would not be a discussion for at least the first 24 hours, or until he was stabilized enough to be out of immediate danger. After that point, it still wouldn't be preferred, but provided the place he was being transferred to had the necessary equipment and there could be a team to monitor him, it can be done.
From the head injury alone even if a coma was factored in, stabilizing could be done in 24-48 hours. As he was monitored, professionals could more reliably determine what else is going on, and if either the angelic nature of the wound or any contaminants got into his bloodstream that could cause infection and sepsis. Both concern and likelihood of infection and blood poisoning would increase in direct relation with how long it took for him to be found. This wouldn't be as much of a concern if he was found within a couple hours, whereas if it took closer to a day, it would be wise to prepare in advance for an infection to reveal itself.
How long an infection or sepsis would take to treat and recover from depends on its severity. Given in any scenario, Alastor would need to be found in less than a day, neither of these would have time to set in with too much severity, so his recovery from that would be more in line with somewhere between a few days and 2 weeks.
If he was going to stay in the hospital for acute recovery, he would be there for a minimum of 8 days, but provided he did fall into a coma, he would remain for the duration of that coma. If he were going to be transferred somewhere, that would become a discussion within 24-48 hours only if measures can be taken to ensure he is still cared for and won't die the second he leaves immediate care. However, if he were going to be transferred, it would not be to the hotel, unless it could somehow be guaranteed the room he was staying in would in no way be impacted by what is going on around it. I don't think I need to explain why a patient of questionable consciousness recovering from a skull surgery in a construction zone is a bad idea. Once the hotel was rebuilt, he could be brought there, but not while it was an active construction zone.
Alastor's head would need to be elevated while on bedrest, so most likely he would be in a semi-sitting position similar to what a recliner would provide, instead of being laid down flat. There are certain beds and pillows to make that possible, and that is one of many things that should he be transferred outside of the hospital, the people taking him would need to be aware of.
Something else that would be taken note of is the state of Alastor's spine after making contact with the wall. Any injuries to the spine are a bit different and need to be brought up, because unlike anything else going on in his torso, this directly relates to what is going on in his brain and how his recovery would be handled going forward. To put it bluntly, the human back is a design travesty and there is almost a guarantee of some type of issue that no amount of ability to twist and crack his neck would save him from.
What do I mean by that? Alastor's spinal cord itself didn't seem to be all too damaged, and if his ribs and muscles took the brunt of that damage, he wouldn't necessarily be paralyzed. He certainly could be, but going by the idea he was able to get away and walk to the radio tower, then his spinal cord is intact. What Alastor has to worry about going forward is less fatal and more annoying, and that comes down to costal cartilage and spinal discs.
Costal cartilage is cartilage of the ribs, and the reason to be careful of this is that when that cartilage is damaged, it has a tendency to make a person's individual ribs more prone to dislocating themselves with minimal provocation. When this happens, depending on which rib it is, but especially if it's in the upper ribs, it can lead to losing function of the arm on the impacted side. With a head injury, this would be a serious problem if the body in response doesn't properly relearn how to use that arm, because during the healing stages it would just stop working. This can be difficult to treat if it's one of the top three ribs, because that can be mistaken by the body and by specialists for the neck being out of alignment, and cause them to treat the wrong thing while the rib continues to cause problems. However, if the rib is found, it wouldn't be dislocated enough that it couldn't be put back.
There are warning signs one can notice when this is about to happen, but what those warning signs are vary from person to person. One example is a popping sensation in the sternum with movement, and that will happen in the days leading up to a rib detaching in the back.
And the other problem to look out for is spinal discs. Nothing loves killing itself quite like spinal discs. If I had a dollar for every time I've seen L4-L5 and/or L5-S1 decide it didn't want to exist anymore and either degenerate or explode for no reason, I would be able to pay my rent for a few months. If a spinal disc has a legitimate opportunity to end its own existence, it will, and it won't hesitate.
This is where Alastor's ability to crack and twist his neck may come to his advantage and make him more resistant to this, but as I have mentioned before, the spine reacts differently to doing something versus having it done by an external force. Therefore, it is still worth watching out for the chance at least one of Alastor's spinal discs makes an attempt to end his entire way of life. This wouldn't be fatal on its own, but it can be agonizingly painful for reasons of no longer having a working cushion between vertebrae, as well as the nucleus pulposus (jelly-like substance in discs) getting onto and agitating nearby nerves, and being attacked by the immune system that doesn't recognize it outside of where it belongs. That detail is an issue if Alastor is fighting an infection or sepsis, and could push his immune system further into overdrive.
Spinal discs could be treated with a different surgery quite easily, but because this isn't fatal, it would be something to talk to Alastor himself about before doing. People can recover from this without surgeries or nerve ablations, it will only take some time. This may be subject to change if Alastor's immune system is pushed too far, and he is unable to make a judgement call.
What makes spinal discs a particular problem for Alastor with a head injury is where these herniations occur. If it happens in the neck, it would cause sharp pains in the arm and shoulder. If it happens in the lower back, this pain would be down one or both legs and into the foot. Anything impacted would suffer considerable muscle weakness and struggling to move, which would impair recovery. Lower back would be the worst, because this would directly impact Alastor's ability to walk. Not paralyzed, but the muscles being so agitated and weak that it would be very difficult.
Adding on inevitable small vertebral fractures, not enough to necessarily damage the spinal cord but enough to cause concern and a need to be careful, he would be put in a back brace. It would need to be one that doesn't compress any ribs if they are broken or agitate his chest wound, but keeps the spine supported. The condition of his spine, discs, and ribs would need to be monitored alongside his head to determine what lingering problems came from the head or something else.
How This Impacts Season 2
With this out of the way, we can give a more accurate assessment of where Alastor would be at in his recovery by the end of the time-skip, or at the end of the estimated 25-28 days.
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ASAP: If found in the early aftermath of the battle before too many symptoms manifest, Alastor could receive treatment quickly. This would not change the severity of his injury, but it would have given blood less time to cause pressure and additional damage in the brain. He doubtfully lost consciousness, and if he did, not for very long. He would remain in the hospital for the duration of surgery recovery and be monitored, but over the next few weeks, he could be well into the subacute stages of his recovery and be in active rehabilitation and therapy by the end of the timeskip.
How long treatment takes depends on the extent of the damage and Alastor's personal response to that treatment. He could have a more difficult time with this when accounting for other potential injuries and especially the chest wound that would hinder movement. Chronic headaches and migraines would be something to look out for as well, though they wouldn't be labeled chronic for a few more months. Head pain is a normal response to head trauma, so frequent headaches would not inherently mean chronic during this stage, but it's worth looking out for.
He could be an active presence among the cast, but he would not be able to maintain his role as hotelier. His role in the conflict would be hindered by those limitations, as well as photophobia, which would continue on into the coming weeks or months (to be elaborated on), and potentially a need to relearn speech.
Moderate Time: Finding him in this timeframe has the most variety in what could be happening. Like with finding him ASAP, he would be able to receive treatment and may not have lost consciousness, but the damage has had time to cause continued problems in his brain. He would most likely remain in a state of post-traumatic amnesia and disorientation for anywhere from a few hours to a few days, but not going past a week.
Alastor would remain on bedrest or resting while avoiding rigorous activity for the majority if not the entirety of the 25-28 days. This would be the time to monitor him and check for any lasting effects. He may experience a struggle to speak, temporary vision loss, fatigue and brain fog, balance and dizziness problems, spasticity, sensory impairment, chronic headaches and migraines, and ataxia (struggle to move and control muscles, most obvious in extremities). His ability to control his emotions will also be hindered during recovery, and he may be prone to emotional outbursts.
The emotional outbursts can be managed by prescribed anti-anxiety medication. It might seem like a bizarre medicine to prescribe for a head injury, but it's done in scenarios exactly like this. That would be one of multiple medications he was given which could include any combination of anticonvulsants, non-opioid pain relievers, anticoagulants, stimulants, steroids (not the ones most think of), diuretics, and stool softeners.
Sexual dysfunction also can happen, but if he was impacted by that, it would be something to be discovered further down the line. That does not seem like something that would impact season 2.
If he did lose consciousness and was unable to be woken up, or if the damage was bad enough he was induced into a coma to heal, his prognosis would be better than if found later. Loss of consciousness would most likely be in the range of 6-48 hours, but if he had truly fallen into a coma, a few days to a week would be a rough estimate. His recovery would be paused for him to regain consciousness and awareness (to be elaborated on*).
Maximum Time: Alastor has a high chance of spending most of the 25-28 days in a coma and recovering from that coma—either being in one on his own, or being induced into one to give his brain time to heal. Being induced would be a more likely situation if this were the moderate time, but in the case of maximum, that probably happened on its own.
How long he would be in a coma does depend, and the likelihood of a longterm recovery does relate to that. With the amount of damage he would have suffered from the blow itself and the amount of time before getting medical care, he could be looking in the range of 2-4 weeks.
Technically, it is possible especially for the maximum time, he could be comatose for all of season 2. But that feels like a cop-out answer, and if it were to happen, it would reduce his chances of longterm recovery even further, so we're getting into specifics.
Looking at the range of 2-4 weeks, and factoring in a storytelling standpoint of this question, that means that Alastor would be either waking up by the end of episode 1, or if he was closer to the 2 week range, he could have regained awareness by the end of episode 1.
* This is more common knowledge than it used to be, but media depictions of people waking up from a coma are inaccurate to what it's actually like. There is no immediate waking up like someone was asleep, because unconsciousness and sleep may look the same from an outside perspective, but are notably different. It is a very gradual process over the course of days to a couple weeks of slowly regaining awareness, where Alastor may seem awake for short periods ranging from a few minutes to an hour, but he is not all-there. His eyes might start to open more frequently, he might show signs of agitation and confusion based on instincts, but there will be little higher level of responsiveness. Once he has regained awareness, he may remember very little about this period.
To put that simply, he could be mistaken for being fully awake once he opens his eyes, but that's not the full story. This is the waking up stage, not necessarily being actively awake and alert. Having any conversation and expecting a coherent answer would need to wait until this stage has passed.
This scenario would mean he would need to be more heavily watched than any other, to look out for complications like infections from the surgery like pneumonia, deep vein thrombosis (blood clots in the legs that can form during long periods of inactivity like being bedridden), seizures, or a stroke. He would need to be monitored at all times even after waking up to make sure there are no lasting complications like this.
Though a possibly unexpected benefit would be whereas moderate means Alastor would be more aware of everything such as pain and vision loss, the time unconscious would double as the time for those aspects to begin healing and be less of an active presence when he does awaken. If he did experience vision loss, it wouldn't be back fully for a few more months, but there would be enough time to establish this is not a permanent thing.
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But, in any case, every one of these scenarios would have Alastor out of the hospital either by the end of the timeskip or by roughly episode 2 of the season at the latest, assuming he was staying there and not cared for somewhere else like Cannibal Town or the later completed Hotel. If found ASAP or Moderate, he could be in the subacute stages of healing, whereas with Maximum, he would be further behind, but at the very least conscious and alert early on and able to begin those therapies.
Relearning to walk and speak if those is something he lost would be the highest priorities, as well as making sure there are no continence problems. But of the things Alastor himself could focus on, it would be walking and speaking. Providing physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy would be ideal, but it may be difficult to find all the necessary people, so at least have some type of plan to make up the difference.
While there is a broad range for how long it takes to recover from a head injury like this, a slight majority of patients are able to walk with minimal help after six months. More specific hand movements and speech could be in the realm of a year or two, but there are plenty of patients who have made a remarkable recovery within the six-month range.
From my experience, Alastor would be an interesting patient to have, and one of the more difficult. There are two types of patient he could fall under:
Patients who are willing to do whatever they have to for recovery. Extremely receptive to the point they sometimes overdo it. Those are the ones who will rest if they are specifically told to, but need to be very specific on how long, otherwise they will start trying to do things before they should and set themselves back on accident.
Patients who refuse to accept they need help. May either forcefully ignore the problem or try to treat themselves with no guidance. They won't let anyone know they are struggling, and do more harm to themselves than good.
In most cases, the second option becomes the first option once they have a harsh wake up call, something that could take anywhere from a few days to a few weeks. Reasons for why vary but it tends to come down to dignity and pride, or if they have loved ones the believe they need to be strong for. They don't want to be seen as vulnerable or weak.
These are some of the toughest patients, not because they are bad or even difficult people, but if the therapist doesn't thread the needle, it can lead to the patient not being as receptive to treatment or actively fighting against it. Through no fault of the patient's own, this often happens subconsciously and causes feelings of stress and shame for the patient. Obviously, some patients can become spiteful and hard to work with, but those are not as common as people seem to think.
With these patients, it's a delicate balance of making sure they know they are making progress without babying them, and pushing them like they want without overdoing it and hurting them. Place yourself into the shoes of the patient, figure out what they would consider true progress.
Don't get overexcited about accomplishments. An innocent mistake to make, but if this type of patient is going to become agitated, being treated like a child is most of the time how it happens. The patient is not a toddler taking their first steps or saying their first words. But they do need to know when they are making good progress.
Don't be super delicate and dance around difficult topics with them. But being too harsh or blunt with those topics can cause feelings of stress and hopelessness. Realism is important, with a lean towards making sure belief in the patient is conveyed. Tracking progress and showing data tends to be useful for this.
An effective way of tracking progress is to give them goals one step at a time, something that would distinctly be a challenge to work towards but a realistic one that they won't hurt themselves pushing for. Just enough that they feel like they're doing something, and you believe they are strong enough to get through it, without doing harm if they try to push just a bit more, or causing psychological distress if they're not quite ready.
It really is a very delicate balance, even professionals make mistakes on it all the time. But it is so rewarding when it's done right, and can have amazing results for the patient. A good way to think about these types of patients is "high risk, high reward," because of how easy it is to mess up, but if done right the patient may heal better and/or faster than average.
Provided someone manages to accomplish this, and stops Alastor from overdoing it or pushing himself too far, he may be able to see significant recoveries within the six-month range. He may not have everything back and struggle in some areas, but his prognosis could have a positive outlook. If symptoms were to linger and become chronic beyond during the healing phase, he may have difficulty concentrating, minor memory problems, headaches (though they would reduce in frequency), and fatigue.
The main thing Alastor could struggle with is regaining speech. When I say he will struggle to speak, I don’t mean he would lose the ability to make sounds. He can still communicate, but like with his hands, he will struggle with precise muscle movements such as controlling the facial muscles that help properly turn sound into words. Notably, he will need to give up the permanent smile. If the smile is stitched on, the stitches need to come out (this may be difficult if the smile was stitched on my someone else). On paper, him not using those muscles and keeping them in place would mean less muscles to relearn, but it would double to mean he would require more effort for other facial muscles and take a longer time.
However, one aspect of Alastor’s powers has shown him speaking with his mouth closed and the words still come through, his teeth just start glowing. If he is able to speak without facial movement or use of muscle as part of his powerset and that wasn’t impacted by his staff breaking, then he wouldn’t have trouble with speech at all beyond any struggles with focus that could make it easy to forget words. But he would still need to relearn to use those facial muscles eventually.
Additionally, depending on how well his vision returns, he may need to wear glasses instead of only the monocle. This may be temporary, it is rare for vision loss to be permanent, but he may need the glasses longterm.
He may also have struggles with reading, either having to outright relearn or simply suffering mental fog that makes it hard to focus. It can happen that people can read just fine but the brain gets stuck on processing words despite them being read through.
Lifestyle changes would be important. Obvious things like avoiding overworking himself, adapting to any limitations he may have, and making sure to avoid substances like alcohol, tobacco, and drugs for a minimum of 3-6 months (depending on severity of the injury) but closer to a year on the safe side, after which reintroduce them gradually provided that's what he chooses and a doctor deems that safe, and he is not on prescription medications that react badly to those substances. All of those substances can worsen the outcome of a head injury during the recovery stages, and Alastor may have a significantly reduced alcohol tolerance going forward.
He will need to cut cannibalism. Cannibalism has too many negative impacts on the brain for him to be able to continue with that aspect of his diet. That isn't something to be lenient or gradual on. No cannibalism. If he insists on cannibalism and will not listen to reason, there needs to be a set time frame he is not allowed to engage in cannibalism, like for example a year or two. There can be nothing vague like "when you're better," that is subjective and patients are willing to abuse technicalities or claim to be better to get access to something they're restricted from. He wouldn't be leaving the hotel much if at all during the recovery period, but avoid going to Cannibal Town if temptation becomes a problem.
Relying on his powers would be something to avoid, but as long as his powers are used to supplement his recovery instead of take away from it, that would be welcome.
I do need to emphasize that even if his prognosis could be positive with proper care, this would be a grueling process for everyone involved. Caring for a patient with a head injury, especially someone you know and care about, is a physically and emotionally demanding full-time task. There will be a period of time Alastor is unable to control his emotions and may be prone to outbursts and episodes of aggression (threats, swearing, scratching and biting are common occurrences) and confusion, especially in the early days. It could go in the other direction of him being very docile and in no way acting like the person the people of the hotel know, which can be just as traumatic for people caring for a loved one. This will be reduced over time as he recovers and regains more of his ability to control that, but it will go beyond the initial recovery. The rates of depression in the first year following a TBI is extremely high compared to those without a TBI, and setbacks in the recovery would also be setbacks in Alastor's mental health.
Not everyone is able to handle this. The hotel would need to be prepared for that, this isn't something that can be fixed with summer camp strategies. Optimism is a good thing, but there needs to be an understanding of the situation, and not trying to ignore reality. For a while even in the best case, it may feel like things will not be okay. Alastor may take strides forward and just as easily take strides back. It's not linear. It would be important they take care of themselves and support one another just as much as Alastor. Some may need to acknowledge they are not cut out for the long haul, while others may have a much easier time, and whoever can successfully do it would impact the story of the season.
When asking how Alastor having a head injury would impact season 2, it would have ripple effects onto the other characters because of how demanding it can be. It may not change things too drastically in other plotlines, but it's worth noting.
We have no way of knowing how long season 2 will go on for in terms of its timeline. Season 1 was over the course of six months. It could be different on account of a different antagonist, but six months feels like a reasonable estimate. Where would Alastor be at?
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This estimate is based on the scenario where recovery goes relatively smoothly, he stays consistent with the work necessary, and an effort is being made to reduce his stress as much as possible. This does account for a grace period he may resist treatment for reasons mentioned above. Any extra injuries or illnesses are also accounted for, but as they would be healing simultaneously, the difference isn't all too substantial.
ASAP: Alastor has regained the ability to walk. He would still need to be careful not to push himself, but he can walk around the hotel and outside with company. He will be able to take care of himself. He may have some trouble with refined movements like speaking or writing, but he will have made progress and have some or even most of his range of motion. He may have lingering issues such as headaches, fatigue, and brain fog, but these should be reducing in frequency. He has regained control of his emotions. Will suffer from mild photophobia.
If he experienced trouble with spinal discs, he may experience pain, and his back may be prone to going out during flare-ups if it's in the low back, but he will have regained sensation in any limbs that were previously numb. (If he opted to treat this with surgery, this would not be a problem, or a reduced one.)
May experience struggles with depression, anxiety, and PTSD. If the symptoms continue beyond this point, he may want to be screened for a formal diagnosis.
He can return to some of his duties as hotelier, but nothing strenuous and the workload would need to be reduced. Maintain a gradual progression of mentally-stimulating activity, but make sure not to overdo it and take breaks.
Moderate Time: Alastor may still struggle to walk. The problem may be less in muscle control or balance and more endurance leaving something to be desired, but he should be able to walk at least short distances. He may need to be accompanied, but he would be able to take care of himself for the most part besides that.
Refined movements may be a problem, but he will have gained back some range of motion. He could still struggle with cognitive tasks like reading due to brain fog or headaches, but this is improving and will continue to improve. He has regained control over his emotions. Will suffer from photophobia.
Like with ASAP, if he experienced trouble with spinal discs, he may experience pain, and his back may be prone to going out during flare-ups if it's in the low back, but he will have regained sensation in any limbs that were previously numb. (If he opted to treat this with surgery, this would not be a problem, or a reduced one.)
May experience struggles with depression, anxiety, and PTSD. If the symptoms continue beyond this point, he should be screened for a formal diagnosis.
He is not ready to return to his duties as hotelier, but he can help with tasks around the hotel. Once he is consistently steady on his own, he should be able to return to his duties in the next few weeks.
Maximum Time: Alastor will have some ability to walk, but may still struggle considerably with balance. He may need to wear a gait belt to prevent falls on bad days, and have someone close-by.
Progress will be limited on refined movements, but it does exist. He may be able to speak some with effort. Headaches and brain fog may be a continued problem inhibiting daily life, but this will be gradually reducing. He has regained control of his emotions, but may have episodes of losing control. Will suffer from photophobia.
If he experienced trouble with spinal discs, he will experience pain, and his back may be prone to going out during flare-ups. He may not have gained back as much mobility, but the numbness in impacted extremities should be gone or reduced. (If he opted to treat this with surgery, this would not be a problem, or a reduced one.)
Mental health needs to be carefully watched. Patients struggling with a severe injury getting in the way of progress may be prone to decline the more time passes.
He is not ready to return to his duties as hotelier, and should focus on therapy and recovery. If he becomes restless or feels a need to help with tasks, allow him to do tasks under supervision, but nothing that could be strenuous.
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Over the course of the next few months, and therefore the next few seasons, Alastor's condition would continue to gradually improve. He should be for the most part recovered within 2 years, but have made significant progress by the one-year mark.
There is a myth that the limit to healing is around 2 years. That isn't true. Healing will continue for decades, though it will slow over time. Even if it ends up taking a long time, Alastor will recover eventually.
Photophobia and the Death of the Alastor-Vox Plotline
One thing has continued to come up over the course of this analysis, and that is photophobia. Contrary to what people associate the term "phobia" with, photophobia is not a fear. It's an abnormal sensitivity to light, but as some people may be able to guess, there's a reason emphasis is put on Alastor continuing to suffer from photophobia during this time. The answer is simple: Vox.
Vox being the main antagonist puts Alastor in an interesting position, not even for anything Vox himself could or would do. Vox's head emits a blue light as most modern screens do. Based on that alone, Alastor would not be able to interact with Vox without physical pain or discomfort, with severity depending on a few factors gone through above.
We don't know the details of what Vox's plan is exactly. Various leaks give some clues, both the November ones and one a few months ago that was a chunk of script, but not enough to have a firm grasp on what exactly Alastor being down for the count would change about his plans.
Going into speculation of what his plans could be, one could assume Vox would want access to Alastor in some way. This is a case where Alastor's head injury and resulting photophobia could be his greatest advantage or his worst nightmare, and it all comes down to the care of others. I tend to avoid character discussion unless it's relevant, but it would take a lot to get around "your face brings physical pain to our hotelier," and not have the explanation be a lack of decency from others. Photophobia is not something Alastor would successfully be able to hide.
Because Vox has been willing to send in spies before, I should clarify that a spy wouldn't count when I say accessing Alastor directly would be difficult. A direct meeting would be mean an interaction between the two. Vox himself would have to try really hard to interact with Alastor, be that in a room face-to-face, or any screen-related means of communication.
Therefore, Vox's plans in relation to Alastor and the hotel are either the easiest or the hardest thing he has ever done, and there is no in-between. If he can pull it off, this is a walk in the park. If not, then he's shit out of luck unless he gets really creative really fast.
However, if Alastor is disconnected from the rest of Hell, that would give Vox an advantage with any indirect plans going unchallenged unless someone steps in so Alastor doesn't have to.
The biggest challenge is that Alastor having a head injury means he cannot under any circumstances fight Vox. Not only would photophobia make that battle almost impossible, but there would be another factor to worry about, and that's second impact syndrome. Second impact syndrome essentially means he would suffer fatal or otherwise life-ruining consequences if he sustains another blow to the head before recovering from his current head injury. Fighting anyone, much less Vox who would be almost guaranteed to know that weakness, would not be in the cards.
All of that points to as long as Vox is satisfied not interacting with Alastor directly, this is the easiest evil plan ever. Until, of course, bringing it back around to it all depends on the care of others.
Hyper-vigilance and protective behavior is common in the family and friends of people who suffer a serious injury. The hotel may be more prone to noticing and reacting to things than they would be in any other situation—not just related to Alastor, but in general. That could make Vox's plan incredibly difficult.
In Summary: If any part of Vox's plan is to make Alastor suffer, he got beaten to it by Alastor's own body. There is not much Vox could do that Alastor's body wouldn't say "challenge accepted" to.
Alastor will be conscious and an active character for most or all of season 2, but his storylines will be on pause to focus on recovery. Not much can be done about his soul deal or his situation with Vox when he has to avoid stress, therefore avoid engaging with the plot, to heal.
Everyone else may have ripple effects from this into their plotlines, ranging from emotional draining to hyper-vigilance to actively having their plotlines disrupted if they were viable caretakers.
But at the end of the day, in every scenario, no matter the severity or the time it takes to find him... Alastor is uniquely qualified to opt out of the entirety of the canon season 2 Vox plotline. The real complicated and sad was the head trauma we got along the way.
(Note: Something I do take into consideration is this being Hell, and it feels like it would be a design flaw for head injuries to cause drastic personality changes or mental incapacitating like they could for a living person. That feels like it defeats the purpose of punishing someone in Hell if a head injury can stop that person from existing anymore. If sinners come back by respawning with no consequences we know of unless done in by an angelic weapon, that specifically is most likely not something to worry about. My guess is that at most for plausible mental impacts, memory loss could be something to consider as long as the person themselves remains intact, but that's speculation. That is the reason I didn't go into that aspect of head injuries.)
(Another Note: This is based on one scenario of brain bleed TBI, there is a very wide variety, and all of them have broad ranges of symptoms and recovery times. Different people will have different experiences. Alastor's injury could be debilitating and significantly worse, but as the ask mentioned him healing, I decided to go with a more positive outcome.)
@buckshotanon you talked about how if Alastor's injuries from Adam were realistic he would have a nasty head injury. Assuming the hotel found him in time and got him the help he needed, how much involvement could he feasibly have in season 2? Head injuries take a long time to heal, right? Can't imagine a brain bleed would heal in a timely manner.
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Pictures and things
#photo diary#image 1 - pretty sky!.. so many sky photos as always#2 & 3 - baby son keeping me company during one of my Sickness days where I kind of just sit on the floor in a blanket#for hours slowly sipping pedialyte and having applesauce and such lol#He likes to bite the squeezy apple sauce pouches.. and try to steal the heating pad#4. Sky again. lighter more scattered fluffy clouds.#5 - greeting card that I drew at someone's request so they could send it to their elderly family member lol.. It's like.. cats baking#in a kitchen I guess? My eternal curse.. being the number one lover of cats in the world yet still somehow barely having a grasp#on their anatomy so they always look ridiculous when I draw them. I have both drawn and looked at cats for my entire life basically#yet somehow those two things do not come together to make me a good cat artist.. alas..#6 - underpart of an outfit I did (and havent yet posted of course because of my evil backlog of onemillion drafted posts)#I took the main dress off the top but thought the underneath part looked cool on it's own as well#7 - more sky.#8 - Mushroom fettucini alfredo. steak. and grilled asparagus. A fun little meal for me though I can't remember the occasion. I think maybe#as a reward for getting my covid booster or something. Though I still feel it's not as much of a reward when I am personally cooking#everything myself at home gjhbjh.. so its like... I'm having to do quite a lot of labor which makes it feel less relaxing I suppose. but eh#a treat in some form. Still cheaper by overall cost than ordering from a restaurant - and also can be customized and prepared#exactly how I like - which is the point. I guess more I just wish I weren't the only cooking person in the house. Everyone could#take turns making special meals for each other rather than like.. ''hmm I feel like having a treat. suppose I shall spend an hour#making it all myself and then feel tired whilst eating it'' lol.. ANYWAY#9 - and then.. you guessed it..MORE sky pictures!!! This time pinky bluey and so on.. huzzah..#A very sky heavy entry into the photo diaries I suppose#The sky in the 1st/7th image is jsut very ethereal seeming to me. something about the way the lighting is behind the clouds. It's#transportive. An interesting sky will make me feel like many other places in time or things I've seen in dreams or something. You get#a sense of being in a different world or like you're looking out over something you once imagined whilst reading a storybook. maybe lol
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saturncoyote · 22 days ago
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have you ever done any speedpaints before? i think it'd be cool to see one, but no pressure of course. ^^ i'm not sure how difficult it is to record them because i've never done one myself.
Oh yes i have ! Though it's a little old at this point... This one right -> here <-
I've been wanting to do a speedpaint for a good while now but i always forget to record my progress... Either that or i don't have any ideas for a drawing i'd like to record a speedpaint for, just gotta wait for the right opportunity !
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running-in-the-dark · 3 months ago
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my niece stayed with us last night. it was pretty fun this time, probably because I was feeling better (if I'm already in pain or exhausted, I can't handle it). after we dropped her off, we talked to my mother for a little bit, and then drove to my in-laws. we were there for a few hours and because the guys were busy outside, i ended up talking to my mother-in-law for most of that time. it was... kind of good? I don't know. she actually showed some real emotions, just a little bit, but hey that's more than ever before! I even gave her a weird little shoulder squeeze/side hug, it was so weird.
anyway, I almost fell asleep in the car on the way home because I was so tired, and actually did fall asleep immediately on the couch.
#it's pretty annoying because my mother-in-law of course asked me how applying for jobs is going. I haven't applied for a single one yet#bc dude I can barely get through the day. I sleep for 12-16 hours a day. and I'm almost always in some kind of pain. and I'm not doing so#good mentally either. come on! I interacted with a handful of people in one day and had to sleep for like 6 hours.#anyway so I said it's a bit difficult because I'm constantly tired - it felt like the only thing she might kind of understand?#annnd she said its probably a vitamin D deficiency and I should get that tested (I won't because I'd have to pay for that and also I think I#read that taking vitamin D supplements doesn't actually help? I can't remember now and I don't want to look it up bc I know it definitely is#not the only or even main reason I am always tired.#I took vitamin D tablets for several months last year (?) bc my previous GP recommended it and. it did absolutely nothing at all#plus. like. I can't sleep. I sleep like shit. always. so. idk? that definitely doesn't help#and I sleep more when I'm in pain and all that too. so.#and she knows I have a bunch of health issues but. nope it's vitamin D because that's one thing and it's simple and here take a pill you're#fine now! wait why aren't you fine now? oh I guess you're just lazy 🙄#< that's 100% how that would go#ugh. Just let me sleep for 5-10 years. maybe that'd fix me....#like. I'm trying to get myself back (?) to being an actual human person again. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with me. I'm trying to#live and not feel like I'm drowning every fucking day#finding a job is only gonna add more stress and exhaustion and everything. if I want to try to help myself this is the time to do it#okay rant over I'm going to sleep now#personal
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florida3exclamationpoints · 5 months ago
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#SORRY im mad about my stupid college again#WHY do they require so many internhip hours??????#no wait i KNOW why. bc the chef who runs the program is EVIL AND STUPID#he literally thinks he as a chef is gods gift to this earth. he thinks CHEFS are gods gift to this earth but only if they agree with him.#however. gods gift to this earth do NOT deserve breaks. ('chefs dont get breaks' is a direct quote)#he thinks all chefs should work like dogs and SUFFER. and the industry should never change#and he loves the power of being the program head. (and most students' advisor)#and he can say im preparing you to be the best!!!!! and get away with it#and he doesnt respect pastry chefs. and guess what i am hahahah#like i know the culinary industry is toxic and most chefs are jerks. but bakeries are very different from restaurants#so i thought i could handle some jerky chefs during school and get my degree and go work in a bakery#(i can handle some jerky chefs)#the problem was that a jerky chef ran the program as if you were already working in the worst restaurant environment imaginable#and he only taught like everyone wanted to be world renown chefs of 5 star parisian restaurants that take 4 years to get a reservation#(which is crazy that he thinks hes qualified to get other people to that level but ok.)#and thats great for people who want that! but some people (me) just want a cute little bakery!#also ! its advertised as a 2 year associates program#which. is true that you'll only get an associates degree out of it#but 2 years is including summer semesters. sorry i don't think thats how that works. i think thats 3 years#2 years for people who decide to do extra and take summer semesters.#and i think the only realistic way to complete the internship hours is to take an off semester and only do the internship#so you're not doing it at the same time as classes#but that adds a minimum of 1 semester and maximum 2#or if you cram the spring and fall semesters to have summer off and do the internship during summer#summer semesters are shorter. so youd have less weeks to complete the same amount of hours#it is simply not a 2 year program for the average person!!!!!!#i was IN COLLEGE FOR 2 YEARS!!!!!! AND I ONLY TOOK 1 (ONE) PASTRY CLASS!!!!!! I SHOULD'VE BEEN ABLE TO GRADUATE!!!!!!!!!!!#and what do you MEAN you expect me to be in college for 3 years and only get an associates degree out of it. no thank you#its almost like...... an associates degree requires 2 years of schooling........ and theres too much happening in this program.......#bc the man in charge of it is power hungry and wants to control people and thinks chefs need to be beat into shape.......
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heyitslapis · 3 months ago
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I ffeel sick.
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featherymainffins · 8 months ago
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Why you all got ok mothers leave some for the rest of us
#hello?????#my mother had me exorcised when i was 16#or 17#my father beat my mother when i was a kid and would randomly lash out based on literally nothing#calling me (aged 3-14) and my mother cunts and whores and all kinds of slurs and threatening to beat or kill us#and every once in a while he'd just get up and leave for a week without telling anyone. we had only one car so mother had#to find alternative ways to get to work (grandparents had no car at the time) (we lived in a tiny rural village)#when he came back he never apologized and just told my mother 'you know how i am. what else do you even expect?'#he also threatened to beat me up whenever i cried or got scared or sad or embarrassed. i was not allowed to be anything but#happy. anger was also allowed but obviously not towards my parents. if i did that i would get locked in a room for several hours#if i self-harmed while locked in there i got yelled at but that just told me that i needed to self-harm more to please my parents#i think i internalised that because when i disobeyed them when i was very small (like...3-5 years) they'd spank me with a wooden spoon or#give me a strong head slap or two. i came to expect violence and when they stopped because it just made me more volatile#i felt the need to enact that expected violence upon myself.#i was unimaginably afraid for my life and for my mother's life until i was about 14. i used to pray for my father's death#but then again i prayed for my mother's death too#i had nightly night terrors about coming home from school and seeing blood everywhere and him kneeling over my mother's corpse#a lot of my good dreams revolved around killing him. i dreamed of coming home before he could kill her and stopping him#in a way i dreamed of being at least 50% safe.#both of my parents also beat me for being neurodivergent and lashes oit whenever i asked too many questions or couldn't#understand something. i always got either the r slur or i got told that I'm just playing a r*tard#to spite and anger them. everything i did in my life was specifically to anger them in their eyes.#i hated both of them so so much and i loved both of them so much and I didn't know how to put it all together#i hated that the father who took me to fairs and played football with me was the father whose touch had a 70 % chance of being violent#i flinched when seeing a hand move until i was 19 and screamed when getting hugged by anyone until i turned 17#my mother's physical violence was something other adults found funny - if she didn't spank me with a spoon; she'd#hit my arms until they got all red and numb and my crying just made her angrier. she still does this. I'm 22.#but when i accidentally ask the wrong question - the retarded one - when i do something to set her off she just hits my#arm until it doesn't even hurt anymore because i stop feeling it altogether. i don't cry because of the pain but because I'm scared#and sorry and embarrassed and guilty. and anyway we don't have tags left for my mother's abuse
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controlled-haterade · 6 months ago
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i want to have a meltdown about being overwhelmed and im tired of seeing socially awkward people blame their every action on "autism" when none of them have ever interacted with an actually autistic person who has physical outbursts and limited vocabulary and watering down what the meaning of autism is and im tired of people talking about gay sex because nobody except them is talking about gay sex when we could be talking about anything else and i can't handle physical touch anymore and my stomach has been hurting for 2 days and im TIRED
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skyburger · 10 months ago
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i did just manage to spend a little over two hours on and off (mostly on.) trying to find stupid connections to prove my theory that noriaki kakyoin and tatsuya sudou are actually twins but ive got pretty much nothing other than they're both born within a month of each other in the same year in japan. so like... you technically can't actually prove me wrong. like this could be canon who knows maybe araki and atlus have been collabing behind our backs for decades! who knows. anyway shoutout to all my fellas born in leo season of 1971
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