#because it makes me incredibly self conscious and like i have to defend my every action

[controlled-haterade]

i want to have a meltdown about being overwhelmed and im tired of seeing socially awkward people blame their every action on "autism" when none of them have ever interacted with an actually autistic person who has physical outbursts and limited vocabulary and watering down what the meaning of autism is and im tired of people talking about gay sex because nobody except them is talking about gay sex when we could be talking about anything else and i can't handle physical touch anymore and my stomach has been hurting for 2 days and im TIRED

[vodika-vibes]

i was rereading some of your tup works and figured i'd drop in another request for your follower event!! i’ve been reading some horror stuff lately so what about something where reader (gender neutral) is like a type of eldritch horror monster please?

the reader would be something tall and shadowy-like with super long fingers/claws and sharp teeth with a long tongue. and tup is just himself, a normal guy?

like the reader and tup fall in love, so tup wants to introduce his partner to his brothers. the rest of the 501st are shocked, but also not really surprised lol

just something cute and romantic and funny please!! absolutely no rush at all for this btw

Monsterous Love

Summary:  Tup loves you and while you’re not sure why, you don’t doubt his affection for you. So when he says that he wants to introduce you to his brothers, you agree.

Pairing: Clone Trooper Tup x GN!Reader

Prompt: The reader in an interdimensional eldritch being

Word Count: 1628

Warnings: None, really

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly @kimiheartblade @mire-draws-things

@bad4amficideas @justiceandwar98

A/N: So I'm not sure if I hit what you wanted, but I hope you like it anyway!

Tup is staring at you.

He almost always stares at you; if you were anyone else, you’d probably be self-conscious about how much he stares at you. 

You tilt your head and regard him curiously, “You are staring.” You note absently.

“I can’t help it,” Tup replies immediately, “You’re perfect.”

You tilt your head in the other direction, “I exist simultaneously on every plane of existence, including the past and the future. And I have an incredibly difficult time staying in a humanoid form.”

Tup’s smile is love-struck, “Like I said, perfect.”

“You are a singularly strange human man.”

He laughs and you can feel your human-ish facade ripple before it settles again, though you’re fairly certain that pastel blue isn’t a normal human shade…well, not in this reality at least.

You squint at your hand and the color turns to a pale purple. The color makes you happy, so you leave it there for the time being.

“Strange in a good way, right?” Tup asks, his grin broad.

“If I thought you strange in a bad way I would not have saved you from the…things.”

“The Kaminoans?” Tup asks, laughter in his voice.

“Is that what they are called? I forgot.”

Tup stands and walks over to you, and you release a surprised noise when he allows himself to fall on you.

Your human form pops, like a soap bubble, and you revert to your true form. It’s hard to describe, as your form changes based on your needs, but your truest form is shadowy. With sharp teeth and long claws.

Also, according to Tup, you’re very soft and comfortable to lay on.

You wrap your arms around him, careful to keep your claws away from his delicate skin, and you release an embarrassing purr as he buries his face in your neck.

“I have an idea,” Tup says cheerfully.

It is difficult to speak in this form, long teeth are not designed for human speech, but you have more than one way to communicate. Is it a good idea? Or is this like the idea you had where you wanted me to raze Kamino to the ground? You ask.

“That was a good idea.” Tup defends as he trails his hands over your shoulders. “Which is why you did it.”

You narrow your eyes at him, You are a horrible influence.

He probably shouldn’t look so smug about that, right? Is it not right that a human should be able to influence an ancient, eternal being? Right? Ah, whatever.

“I want to introduce you to my brothers. And the General.”

You slowly blink at him as you adjust your claws so that you’re less likely to hurt him, and you start playing with his curls, Do your brothers not think that you are dead, Tup?

He shrugs, “I miss them. Besides, Dogma already knows about you.”

That is because I intervened to save his life.

“And I love you for that. Just like I love you for intervening to save Fives and Hardcase.”

You’re still not sure why you did that, honestly. Other than you don’t like the look that Tup gets when he hears about his many brothers dying.

If that is what you want, then we can make it happen. You finally say, not wanting to think too hard about the influence he has on you. Your form shifts back into a more human form, though you’re still a bit taller than Tup, “However, I am going in a human form.”

He huffs and reaches up to press his hands against your cheeks, “I want them to know the real you.”

“This form of me is as real as all of the other ones.” You point out, “I…do not want to cause them any distress.”

His gaze softens, and you can feel adoration radiating from him before he leans in and kisses you. Tup pulls back after a few moments, his hands still pressed against your cheeks, “I love you and I love that you want to make sure that they’re comfortable. But they love me and will accept you no matter what.”

“I am not so sure.”

“Trust me.”

You blow out a heavy breath and allow your form to shift back into your normal form, They might assume that I will hurt you.

“You never have.” He presses his forehead against yours, “And it would be so easy for you to do so. So, will you do it?”

I suppose I will.

“Yes!” He kisses you again and again, and you marvel, once again, that he seems unbothered by your monstrous form. He really is so strange. “Are you ready to go?”

Wait? Now?

“Yes. Now. Before you change your mind.”

Stubborn mortal— Still you shift to a more human form, standing a little taller than Tup, and you lightly push him to his feet, “As you like, Tup.”

He beams at you and takes your hand. “Great! Now, how do I get to Coruscant from here?”

You shake your head. Here, of course, is the house of mystery. The plane of existence that you call home, and also where Tup calls home now. “You still haven’t learned?”

“This House exists in every reality all at the same time, how am I supposed to learn it?” Tup asks cheerfully.

You shake your head and tug him down a hallway. You take three lefts, a right, and then two more lefts, before you open a door that leads to the Coruscant of his reality. “See. Easy.”

“I’m fairly certain that you’re the only person who thinks that.”

You tilt your head, “Oh?”

“Not everyone exists everywhere all of the time.” Tup teases as he cups your face and pulls you down into a kiss. It’s not a long kiss as neither of you are overly fond of PDA, and Tup is eager to introduce you to his brothers.

For all that you’re an interdimensional being, you don’t actually know Coruscant, so Tup is more than happy to guide you to the lift that will bring you up a couple of levels.

You’re surprised when Tup brings you to the 501st barracks. Surprised because it’s a lot more rundown than you expected based on some of the stories he’s told you.

“...I believe that mold has gained sentience,” you note as he leads you inside and through a hallway lined with black mold.

“Eh, it’s fine. Probably.”

“I also believe that is it toxic.”

Tup shrugs, “Probably. We’re just clones, babe. It’s not that big a deal.”

You blink at the back of his head, “Tup. If you want me to raze Coruscant to ashes, this is the way to go about it.”

He stops suddenly and bursts into laughter.

“I am not so sure why you find this funny.”

Tup turns and pulls you into a quick kiss, “I love you, that’s all.”

“I am fond of you as well. But I am also unsure how my comment caused this.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s a human thing.” He kisses your hands, and then tugs you into a large room, “Hey Cap!”

The room, which had been filled with lots of noise, falls silent at Tup’s voice.

“Tup?” A blonde man that you vaguely recognize as Rex says in disbelief, “You’re alive? And here?”

“Yup.”

“How?” Fives demands, “You killed a Jedi. I definitely remember that happening.”

“The situation is complicated and also not my fault.” Tup motions to you, “Everyone, meet my cyare. You can just call them cyare.”

“I do not think that that is an appropriate nickname—”

“They won’t be able to say your actual name, babe. Human tongues aren’t designed to make those sounds. Cyare is perfect for you.”

“If you insist.”

“I do!” Tup beams at you and then turns back to his brothers, “Cyare saved me. They’re amazing.” He pauses, “They’ve also saved all of you on more the one occasion.”

The room falls silent and all eyes turn to you. “You are overstating, Tup.”

“I’m not.” He squeezes your hand, “Go on babe, show them.”

“I still do not think that this is a good idea.” You want, though you release his hand and allow your human form to fade away into your true form, You are lucky that I am so fond of you.

“I am lucky you’re so fond of me,” Tup agrees with an adoring smile, “This is cyare’s true form.” He says to his brothers, “They’re an interdimensional eldritch being.”

The room is quiet for a moment, and then Dogma, at the back of the room, releases a laugh, “Yeah, this doesn’t surprise me.”

“Somehow,” Rex agrees, “This makes total sense.”

“I told you they’d be fine with you,” Tup says with a grin.

There must be something wrong with your DNA. You are all very, very strange men. You counter as you settle on the floor, But, I suppose this does make me claiming you all as my mortals a little easier.

“But I’m your favorite mortal, right?” Tup asks.

You sigh heavily, Yes, Tup. You’re my favorite mortal. You release a disgruntled noise as he leans heavily against you. Not that you can’t support him, but you’re not an armrest.

Still, as Tup leans fully against you, his arms tight around you, while he answers questions about you and him and the life you share, a sense of peace settles over you.

This is okay. More than okay. 

Tup might think that you’re perfect, but he’s the one who took one look at an eldritch monster and decided, “Yes, that’s the one I want.” so in your book, he’s the perfect one.

Now you just have to make sure that no one will every hurt your mortals ever again.

Easy.

[sweetlikehoneystingslikeabee]

Could I request riddlers with a s/o who has vitiligo?

"S/O with vitiligo" Riddler party ask

Of course! Just be aware as I do not have vitiligo or know anyone personally with vitiligo my understanding is based upon research and not experience. That being said, if I make mistakes please let me know so I can correct them. A little shorter on these!

tw: none

Gotham

Have you ever wanted an info-dump about vitiligo? Because you're going to get an info-dump about vitiligo. What potentially causes it, the different treatments, the historical origin of the word Vitiligo- Did you know vitiligo used to be associated with leprosy? Which is simply ridiculous since they're nothing alike-

It may come off annoying or even incredibly tone-deaf but it's because he finds you as a person so fascinating. He wants to show his interest in you and that he cares! Redirect him if it gets to be too much and he'll apologize and move on.

60s

He knows what vitiligo is. But more in the sense of textbooks and medical journals. He's never met someone quite like you and, embarrassingly, he at first thought it was a new fad of theater makeup. He'd wondered how you made the forms so fluid and unique along your skin...

Now that he's aware though, expect a constant stream of creative compliments relating to the "artistry" of your markings. How they curve and accentuate your being. There's something almost scandalous about touching you- to him, you have the beauty of a painting in a museum.

Btas

Well, sweetheart, aren't you a beauty? Have you the wits to match? He makes a point of being clear that appearances are low on the rankings of things that matter. However, it's certainly a nice bonus that he can look at you for hours on end <3

There will come a time you both forget sunscreen and both of you burn. You because of the lack of pigment making your skin vulnerable. Him because he is a white man with red hair. At least you can rub aloe on the others sunburns and take care of each other the day after!

Arkham

Honestly at some point he's seen a bit of everything so vitiligo, while rare, he doesn't even give a second glance. Were you expecting some kind of reaction? Sorry to disappoint you.

While it goes without saying all of them would defend you if some asshole decided to make a comment, Arkham is ESPECIALLY ready to go off when needed: "Do you know how rare vitiligo is? Not only do they possess leagues more intelligence than you, in addition to their attractiveness- they're also more interesting and unique than you could ever hope to be."

And if anyone asks any intrusive questions? He's going to tear them a new one.

Telltale

Honestly he's incredibly neutral about it. He doesn't say much about you having the condition unless you bring it up. It might seem standoffish but for him that's how he shows respect for you, by not making a deal out of it.

Expect him to be testy about you taking any potential autoimmune medication and sunscreen, though. And downright hostile if anyone thinks to make any comments or "cute" nicknames you didn't ask for.

Zero year

Oh, his cute little rabbit- Hm? The pet name? After the harlequin rabbit, of course. A rare breed prized for their unique dual-colored fur patterns. It's fitting for his Aphrodite/Adonis. His extraordinary love who should always recognize their beauty.

Guess who ALSO has skin really sensitive to sunburns? Like BTAS, his red hair and fair toned skin means he BURNS in the sun. So you'll never forget sunscreen... because he'll be applying his right before offering to do yours.

2022/Nashton

If you're self conscious about it at all, he's going to kiss every single mark. Drag his fingertips along the edges where the soft white patches begin. You're going to feel loved if he has anything to say about it. He knows what it's like to feel that self-loathing that sits in the pit of your stomach.

He's going to actually literally murder anyone that makes you uncomfortable or hurts your feelings. Or at minimum sick his online following on them and ruin their day if not week, month or year. Put you down?! How DARE they? They aren't even worthy of looking at you!

[samasmith23]

Jane Foster: Bridging the Gap Between Godhood & Humanity

The Death of the Mighty Thor is hands down one of the most thematically rich and character-centric storylines I've read from not just Jason Aaron's Thor run, but from his body of comics work as a whole!

It actually took awhile for me to fully unpack all my thoughts about this arc after I initially finished reading it, but that's only because there's just so many layers of meaning & symbolism which makes it a truly worthy finale to Jane Foster's saga as the Mighty Thor!

I stated before that Jane Foster is basically the Anti-Gorr in a previous post linked here:

After I read "The Death of the Mighty Thor" in its entirety, I realized that there was far more meaning to that initial description than I previously thought. Jane is the anti-Gorr the God Butcher not just in how she defends the gods from annihilation, but also in that unlike Gorr who was repulsed by the fact that he was becoming the very thing he despised so much, Jane Foster makes a conscious effort to bridge the gap between mortals and gods.

Jane is similar to Gorr in that she too has witnessed first hand the gods' arrogance & failure to protect those they've been sworn to uphold, and has directly suffered as a result. But where Jane ultimately differs from Gorr is that simultaneously has witnessed and recognizes the god's ability to love and protect others. This why when Odinson becomes unworthy and Jane hears Mjolnir's call in his place, she answers that call. She wields the power of Thor to not only live-up to the standards that the gods who came to her were never able to achieve, but also to provide the gods who have simultaneously failed and loved her a chance for redemption. Jane wants the gods to finally live-up to the ideals that they claimed to represent, to finally become truly worthy of the mortals who worship them.

Consequently, Jane is willing to sacrifice her own life in order to save the Asgardians from complete annihilation at the hands of the Mangog, a monster who sees only the negative traits of the gods, believing that they're incapable of self-improvement or change. Jane dies for love, whereas the Magog dies for naught but hate.

But dying is not the end of Jane Foster's story, as Aaron effectively illustrates that while suffering and dying for the sake of others can be meaningful, it's even more meaningful and important to live for yourself and others. Continuously sacrificing one's own well-being for others is a godly ideal that is unhealthy for the human body, which is demonstrated by Jane's cancer worsening every time she lifts the Mjolnir and the the transformation into Thor purges all toxins, including the chemotherapy drugs (which are essentially radioactive poison), from her body.

While Jane does more than once debate on whether or not this means she should completely cast aside her mortal half and remain as the Goddess of Thunder forever, she inherently recognizes that doing so would mean sacrificing her very humanity. And that scares her since while mortal life is painful and filled with unavoidable hardships, life simultaneously contains simple and unfathomable joys and beauties that are priceless and worthy of preserving, cherishing, and experiencing.

This is a point that was repeatedly emphasized by other characters in earlier in narrative. For instance, while Odinson recognizes that for all the happiness Jane has for provided others as a goddess, he states that she still has plenty to give by living as a mortal as well. Additionally Jane's friend and former S.H.I.E.L.D agent Rosalind Solomon makes an incredibly valid counterargument to Jane's desire to control her own fate and refusal to die due to forces outside her control like cancer. Regardless of whether or not Jane desires to die in battle protecting what she loves versus dying from cancer, dead is still dead either way.

So when Jane quite literally sacrifices her life to give the gods who failed her a second chance, in a deliberate Christ parallel she is resurrected with the assistance of Odinson, Odin and the sentient Mother Storm which previously dwelled within Mjolnir. And upon her revival Jane fully commits to living for herself and those who love her by dedicating herself to combatting her cancer with chemotherapy, while entrusting Odinson and the Asgardians to protect the realms which she had protected in their place.

"There must always be a Thor."

There must always be a Thor because Thor in all their various incarnations represents the ideal version of what a worthy god should be: a being whom continuously strives to protect others, questions and improves upon themselves, and cherishes love and humanity. A humanity which extends to not just humans and the various other races inhabiting the Ten Realms, but also to the Asgardian gods themselves, who are idealized representations of humanity. Jane recognizes the humanizing symbiosis wherein God compliments humanity, and humanity compliments God.

And while Jane is a mortal who lives up to godly standards by sacrificing herself to continuously protect & save others her mortal perspective also serves to remind the gods of their own humanity, thereby successfully bridging the gap between humanity and the divine.

Jason Aaron's run on Thor functions as an insightful inverse of real-life theological teachings for humanity to live by the god's standards, by instead teaching the gods to live by humanity's standards. In essence, Jane Foster is the anthesis to Gorr the God Butcher in that she conversely recognizes the gods as being human instead of inhuman.

And The Death of the Mighty Thor arc effectively serves as the enthralling apex of both Jane Foster & Jason Aaron's thesis on godhood.

[sergeantbuckybarnes]

fearless // bucky barnes

Summary: You ask Bucky to go to your high school former reunion with you, but when you see your ex-boyfriend there, things don’t go well.

Pairing: Chubby!Bucky x Reader

Word count: 1.3k

Warnings: undefined age gap, people are assholes to bucky, insecure bucky, protective reader, mentions of sex, angst, fluff

A/N: As always, remember English is not my first language. Also, thanks to @amandalove​ for proofreading this!

A/N 2: Hope this made justice to the idea you send me @extraordinarygirl1214​, and tagging @buckys-estrella​ because you asked me to!

main masterlist

Your high school reunion was approaching and you asked your boyfriend to go with you. It had been so many years since you saw some of your friends, you wanted to know about their lives now, how much had they changed, and you wanted to share with them how happy you were to have found an incredible man like Bucky.

He was reluctant at first, you had told him about your high school days, you were popular, you were the captain of the cheerleaders, you were prom queen and you dated the captain of the football team. It was obvious your friends expected you to end up with a fit man with a six-pack that was the cover of some magazine. He knew you deserved someone like that, but instead you chose him, an overweight, unattractive man who was older than you.

He knew you were too good for him, and he was waiting for the moment when you realized it and kicked his ass.

You never liked the way Bucky saw himself, you reassured him a thousand times that you loved him and that he was perfect to you. He made you happy. None of your former boyfriends had made you feel as loved as Bucky did. You knew that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him.

Bucky would do anything for you. You had him wrapped around your finger. His friends often joked about how whipped he was, not that he minded it, because he knew it was true. He would give you the moon if you asked him to. That’s why he was in your former high school, hand intertwined with yours.

You spotted your friends and smiled, walking towards them with your boyfriend beside you. They seemed so happy to see you, but when their gazes fell on the blue-eyed guy their faces changed.

“Who’s that?”

“Chelsea, Chloe, this is James, my boyfriend.” The excitement for them to finally meet the guy that had stolen your heart was plastered on your face.

“You’re joking, right?”

You frowned, not understanding the reaction your friends had. Bucky, on other hand, understood it perfectly. He knew it would happen. It was what always happened.

“Y/N, my dear, are you telling me that you are sleeping with that every night?” The repulsion on your friend’s voice made Bucky’s stomach switch.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Your voice was not cheerful anymore. There weren’t many times when you got angry, but you wouldn’t stand there and hear them bring your boyfriend down.

“What’s going on in here?” You sighed exasperatedly when you heard his voice. John Walker. Your ex-boyfriend. He looked at your friends, then at you, and then his gaze shifted to your boyfriend, asking who he was.

“Y/N’s boyfriend,” Chloe answered, making your boyfriend laugh like the woman had just told him a bad joke.

“Seriously, Y/N? It was obvious you wouldn’t find anyone better than me, but this?” Bucky was starting to feel more self-conscious and insecure than ever. He dropped your hand and turned to leave. This was too embarrassing.

“Listen to me,” your voice made Bucky stop in his tracks, “That man is a million times better than you and your tiny dick.”  Your loud voice started to get the attention of the other people in the room. “He treats me like I’m his entire world, and when he looks at me there’s actually love and adoration in his eyes. The only reason you dated me was for the sex.”

“And why do you think he’s dating you? Look at him!”

“Seriously, Y/N. I thought you were smarter than this.” This time it was Chelsea who spoke. “Besides, how old is he? He looks like my dad.”

“Can he even get you off?” John mocked.

“Yeah, he can. He can give me multiple orgasms, something you never could,” you replied with no hesitation. You wouldn’t stay quiet while he degraded your boyfriend like that.

“C’mon, Y/L/N. That lard-ass can’t please anybody.” That was the last straw. You walked to your ex-boyfriend, a smug look plastered on his face. So you did the thing you never thought you would do. You spit on his face. Shocked expressions appeared on both of your friends and your boyfriend, who was still behind you.

He wiped his cheek, “You bitch.” He raised his hand to hit you but your boyfriend stopped him, grabbing his wrist before he could touch you.

“Don’t even think about it.”

“Never thought you’d have these low expectations about men,” Chloe intervened. “Look at him, he’s so violent.”

Did she really?

“Alright, that’s enough. You all can fuck off. Because you know what? You all are a bunch of superficial assholes and that’s why you are gonna end up alone, while I’m gonna marry the most amazing man on earth and build a family with him.” You grabbed Bucky’s hand and exited the gym before anyone could say anything else.

“I’m sorry,” you apologized once you arrived to the parking lot. “You didn’t deserve to hear those things.”

“Why are you apologizing for something that wasn’t your fault?”

“Because you didn’t wanna come, and I know you did it for me, to make me happy.” If you hadn’t insisted on him coming with you, none of this would have happened, and Bucky would be happy having his usual Friday night with Steve and Sam. Instead he had to go through hell and hear things that only increased his insecurities. Just for you.

“I came because I wanted to. It’s not your fault your friends think like that.”

“You’re really wonderful, did you know that?” You caressed his cheek, looking deep into his eyes. There wasn’t anger or resentment towards you. Only love.  You pulled him in, claiming his mouth. Bucky’s hand instantly wrapped around your frame. You could only focus on how soft his lips felt against you. He was so addictive, you couldn’t ever get enough of him. Every time you kissed him, time stopped and your knees went weak.

“Did you mean it?” Bucky asked when you pulled away, yet his arms were still wrapped around your waist and your faces so close that your noses were touching and your breaths were mixing. “About building a family with me.”

“Every word,” you said with no hesitation or doubt in your voice. “Do you?” You looked up to him.

Your boyfriend nodded. “There’s nothing I want more.”

“So… Will you marry me?” Bucky’s eyes widened at your question, not believing the words that left your mouth.

“D-did you… Did you just ask me to marry you?”

“I did. And I’m waiting for an answer.” Bucky took a moment to contemplate you, see if you were joking, but he only saw sincerity and love in your eyes. You were being serious. You wanted to build a family with him. You wanted him to be the father of your children. You wanted to grow old with him. You wanted to spend the rest of your life with him. You wanted to marry him.

You actually proposed to him. You proposed to him. In the parking lot of your former high school, after defending him in front of your ex-classmates and your ex-boyfriend. You had stood up for him. Just like you always did. Because you loved him. You loved him more than you ever loved someone.

“Yes!” he yelled, he picked you up and spun you around “Yes! Yes!” He didn’t remember the last time he had been this happy, but he did know that all the days to come were going to be memorable. He already could picture how gorgeous you were gonna look in your wedding dress, the excitement was rushing through his veins, he couldn’t wait to share the rest of his life with you.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

You realize that religion isn’t always bad, right? When people use it as an excuse to do harm, that’s obviously bad, but it can also comfort people. And I’m saying this as an atheist.

So, you're saying it can be used for both good and bad. And anyone who does either can claim they're justified. Then why do we need it at all?

"With or without religion, good people can behave well and bad people can do evil; but for good people to do evil—that takes religion." - Steven Weinberg

Religion does literally nothing uniquely good that can't also be done without it and without the harm it creates. Give me one thing. Just one. One objectively "good" thing that only religion can provide.

In response to complaints he focused on the Catholic Church’s child abuse scandals and attitudes towards condoms, rather than what good it’s done, Stephen Fry responded : It’s a bit like a burglar in court saying “oh, you would bring up that burglary and that manslaughter, but you never mention the fact that I give my father a birthday present.”

On the other hand, religion provides a divine excuse for committing the most awful acts to other humans. To do so cheerfully, with bold certainty and no regrets. Because what mere humans can compete with the will of a deity, as long as they believe it exists?

"Certainly anyone who has the power to make you believe absurdities has the power to make you commit injustices." - Voltaire

So, belief in things based on comfort is okay? Do you not think that Westboro, ISIS, Boko Haram and literally every organization that you would recognize as "harm"-ful draws comfort from their beliefs? You don’t think all sorts of believers draw comfort from their beliefs as they plan or commit all sorts of deeds?

Is even merely drawing comfort from imagining atheists and other non-adherents enduring eternal torment in their respective hell dimensions particularly healthy? As soon as you authorize “comfort,” you authorize anything they believe or do in the aim of achieving it. including the harm itself.

"An old friend tells you that everything changed for him the day he realized he was destined to marry Angelina Jolie. It might occur to you to ask why does he believe this? Angelina Jolie is, after all, one of the most beautiful and famous people on the planet. She's not incidentally married to Brad Pitt. They have something like 27 children. What if your friend, sensing your skepticism, said, "clearly you don't understand. This belief gives my life meaning. I now know my purpose in life: it's to be Angelina's husband"? What if your friend said, "This belief has made me a better person. I'm now incredibly kind to children, anticipating having to raise Angelina's once Brad leave"? Or what if your friend said, "You can believe whatever you want, but I wouldn't want to live in a universe where I don't marry Angelina Jolie"? It should be quite clear that your friend has lost his mind and is probably a dangerous person. Yet this is precisely the type of talk that so often passes for wisdom in religious circles, and may attempt to pass for wisdom here. Beliefs are not like clothing. Comfort and utility and attractiveness cannot be our conscious criteria for adopting them." - Sam Harris

Let's be clear here: when you say "comfort," what you're actually saying that it provides a palliative, a painkiller that avoids the need to address the underlying issue honestly and fearlessly. To be able to self-medicate in a fantasy rather than live fully in the real world. Excessive alcohol consumption does the same thing. So does meth. So does indiscriminate sex. Is that the rule now? It can cause harm, but as long as it also brings comfort, then we should avoid criticizing it, since it's not always bad.

Is comfort more important than truth now? Is the most important thing now how someone feels, and not what's actually true? Isn't denying truth itself harmful? What can't someone believe and defend entirely because it brings them comfort?

"When you believe in things that aren’t real, you’re going to think in ways that aren’t aligned with reality." (source)

The call for “comfort” as a defence is inherently an admission the beliefs aren’t true. If someone tells you that it brings them “comfort,” they’re telling you that they know it’s not true, but it makes them feel good to believe it anyway.

We're not obliged to indulge delusional beliefs because it brings people comfort, makes them feel good, or offends them when it's scrutinized or criticized. We're not obliged to comply with demands to hush simply because they derive comfort or hurts their feelings to not have their beliefs affirmed by everyone, even those who don't even share them.

Especially when those beliefs are equal justification for doing “harm.”

If you want to be an enabler and endorser for the delusional confirmation bubble and ongoing reality-denial of religionists, that's your business. (Although I pity you for succumbing to the social conditioning that you should prioritize other people’s feelings over objective reality and objective truth.)

But nobody else is obliged to collaborate.

[pennylogue]

Steven is a Diamond, and that’s okay.

So, Steven’s way too caught up in the fact that he’s a Diamond right now, and therefore a hideous and overpowered monster who can’t hope to be understood by normal humans or normal gems. Let’s talk about that.

For all Steven’s enthusiasm to be a Crystal Gem and to demonstrate his powers, he’s always been weirdly ashamed of how being half-Gem affects his ability to live alongside humans. I don’t think he’s ever really decided how to feel about it. It’s only after seeing Steven growing substantially and changing his hair and getting diamond eyes, now that it’s clear that his physical form is so malleable to how he thinks of himself and what he wants to be, that it really hits me how growing up with Greg and around so many humans has affected his identity. How sort of…quietly unhealthy it was, to go around with his gem covered up all of the time, and his appearance so determinedly human. I mean, think of how upset and ashamed he was when he decided his inhuman aging would screw up his friendship with Connie.

Right now, Steven is a whirlpool of self-loathing mixed into repressed issues and trauma with the Diamonds and hatred for his mother, and because he’s feeling so disconnected from and alienated and misunderstood by both other humans and other gems, because his gem powers are being triggered by his trauma, he’s connected some dots and blamed it all on being a Diamond. 

Looking back at that quiet “No,” at the end of “Fragments”, it’s easy to identify it as one of horrified realization. And you know, this is the logical conclusion of Steven’s feelings about his mother in “Mindful Education”, of “Storm in the Room”, of “Volleyball”—but it’s also the sum of a lot of other things:

Peridot: The Diamonds are the Gem matriarchs! …We live to serve them.

The culmination of Peridot flipping to the Crystal Gems is tied directly into her rejecting the Diamonds. Diamonds are introduced as the symbol of everything wrong with Homeworld.

Garnet: “How dare you fuse with a member of my court? You will be broken for this!”

…

Garnet: Pink Diamond thought for a moment, and then laughed; a wicked, empty sound. “You wish to save these life-forms at the expense of our own? Ha! Don’t be absurd. Return to your post, and I will forget your insolence.”

Diamonds are shatterers. They hate fusion. They hate Earth and organic life. They hate Garnet. They’re the evil queens in Garnet’s fairy tale. 

Garnet: The Earth belonged to Pink Diamond. Destroying her was the only way to save the planet. For Amethyst to be herself, for Pearl to be free, for me to be together. For you to exist.

Free will and the Diamonds are utterly opposed. It might be a tragedy that Pink Diamond was killed, but she was a monster, like the other Diamonds. The  ultimate enemies of the Crystal Gems.

We got almost five seasons of the Diamonds being spoken of this way. You see how terrified every Gem is of the Diamonds, whether they worship them or despise them. 

And then we found out a) Rose Quartz was one of them. And b) that Steven is one of them. 

Hey, quick question–anyone remember what Sapphire said, right in front of Steven, after the reveal?

Sapphire: Of course she was a Diamond. What a long road she took, to torture us all like this...

…Yeah, we never really got his feelings on b, did we?

I think Steven was so overwhelmed by everything else that was going on and everyone’s reactions, and later so eager to jump on the chance that being seen as one of the Diamonds gave him to fix the corrupted gems and help everyone, that we’ve never really seen him process this realization. Steven drew a very clear line in the sand. The Diamonds are the Diamonds, and Steven is Steven. The Diamonds are wrong about everything, so they’re also wrong about him being Pink, the same way everyone else in the series who’s called him another name has been wrong. He’s not Rose Quartz. He’s not Pink Diamond. 

Except…that second part isn’t true. Sure, Steven has a human body. Sure, Steven’s not the original Pink Diamond. That doesn’t mean he’s not a Pink Diamond. 

But it was easy back then, right? Because Steven was so, so different from them. A Crystal Gem. A defender of fusion. Weak. Small. Human-colored. Harmless. And as Steven says in the finale promo:

I don’t hurt people. I help people.

Yeah, there’s no way that building an incredibly black-and-white mindset with impossibly high standards for himself to create and hold on to a sense of identity was going to backfire.

So yeah, we never really saw Steven process that he was supposed to be one of these terrifying rulers. Except now he’s hurting people. In fact, it seems that all he can do is hurt people. And since he’s only able to see the bad things he can do, the amount of horrible power he has and how isolating it is and how terrifying it is–of course he blames it on what’s always seen as the source of so many horrible things. 

No wonder he’s having an identity crisis! He’s always told himself that he’s different than the Diamonds. He’s better than them. He has to be. So if he’s doing everything wrong, if he’s a freak, if he’s a shatterer, than it’s because he’s a Diamond. He’s just like them. He’s just as bad as them. He’s just as much a monster as the Diamonds are.

It’s complicated, what’s going on. Steven’s very, very wrong. But he’s also, strangely, right on target.

The thing is, this isn’t happening because he’s a Diamond, it’s because he’s human. He’s experienced trauma while growing up and is trying to react to it in a very human way. He literally has PTSD and CPTSD, and if you’ll look up the symptoms you’ll see he’s showing all of them. He’s not a monster. He’s part-human, so his symptoms are manifesting in partially inhuman ways. And that means he just happens to have the power to do a lot more damage than other humans when he lashes out in a way that is, once more, very characteristic for humans. But you know, even the best of humans can do a lot of damage, too, especially when they never really get over trauma. After all, Greg sure did a number on Steven. 

The flip-side of this is that the hilarious irony of ancient magical rocks trying to treat themselves as perfect and inhuman alien beings has always been that, that in reality, they’re every bit as fucked up and human as humans are. That’s the whole point of the Crystal Gems and the Homeworld Gems. Remember back when Garnet seemed so perfect? Peridot seemed pretty alien and unfeeling at the beginning, right? Jasper, Topaz, Aquamarine, it goes all the way up to the Diamonds. 

The whole point of the Diamonds and why the old system was broken was that the Diamonds tried to present themselves as perfect beings without flaw, when in fact they were all just as much a disaster as every other Gem. Remember back when Rose Quartz was a flawless goddess? Yellow and Blue were terrifying when we first saw them, but then we saw them comforting each other at the Zoo. They’re literally just a screwed-up family grieving and dealing with the death of one of their own–White’s first appearance painted her as this terrifying and totally inhuman being above even Yellow and Blue, but in the end, every one of the Diamonds is a normal, flawed person…just vested with the power to do a lot more damage than most.

The thing about White, was that she was so sure she had to be perfect, that she had to make everything better, but in the end, the solution was just to…let go. Accept that she was imperfect, and live with the consequences of it. Let other people help her. Stop trying to fit into being something she’s not, and just let herself be who she is. 

Does any of this sound familiar?

All four of the original Diamonds had destructive powers. All four of the original Diamonds experienced a change and made a conscious choice to control themselves and try to stop using their powers to negatively affect others. White Diamond might be stuck being White Diamond, but as “Homeworld Bound” made clear, she’s also the only one who gets to decide what that means.

So you know what?

You can call Steven half-Gem and half-human, but that doesn’t really describe what he is. He’s a human with a Gem. A Gem with a human form. None of that’s good or bad. It is what it is. And as much as it sucks to be different from everyone else, he’s also the only one who gets to decide what being different means to him. Steven Universe isn’t Rose Quartz and he’s not his mom, but just like he’s a human, he’s also Pink Diamond, and that isn’t bad. 

And I think that’s what he needs to hear from everyone. The solution at Steven’s birthday party wasn’t to react to the situation they were in and cheer him up the same way you’d cheer up a baby. He wasn’t just a baby, he was Steven stuck in a body that he didn’t know how to control. What he actually needed was to hear from Connie that she wanted to be there for him, no matter how strange he was. 

He needs the people he loves to stop telling him he’s “better than” his trauma and his diamond powers, to stop freaking out at how much damage he can do or treat it like a problem to be fixed. To not tell him that they know he’s going through, they’ve been there, too. They haven’t, and that’s not what he needs to hear. He needs to hear that none of what he is is bad. That his loved ones will be there for him and will love him unconditionally. 

And I think that’s what will allow him to accept himself; accept that if he’s a Diamond then he’s also a human, if he’s human then he’s also Pink Diamond–and, just like the previous Pink Diamond, he’s the one who gets to decide what that means.

TL; DR I actually really hope diamond eye Steven is permanent for non angsty reasons. This kid needs to stop being ashamed of his identity.

[dear-wormwoods]

Ok, I don’t know whether you hold this belief anymore but in multiple old posts you refer to Cartman having “abused” Kyle, and IIRC you suggested it was a topic for another time. I’m interested in what else you have to say about that, especially since the idea that Cartman abuses/has abused Kyle is a bit controversial in terms of accuracy.

It's definitely controversial, but I have to say that most of the arguments against it make me feel... really uneasy. A lot of the arguments that Cartman's actions don't qualify as abuse hinge on Kyle being "too strong/tough/smart/etc" to be abused, which is, frankly, a really gross way of looking at it. The implication in posts like that are that people who are or have been abused are inherently weak or easily duped, which just isn't true. Strong, intelligent people get abused all the time. No one is impervious to abuse. Saying Kyle is "too [insert word here] to be a victim" is super insulting to people who have gone through it themselves and is actually a form of victim blaming.

Yes, I think Cartman is abusive. He is abusive toward a lot of characters, and Heidi is the most blatant, 'traditional' example of it, but I would absolutely argue that Kyle is his favorite victim, though Butters is a close second and an easier target in some ways.

Let's break it down:

First and foremost, Cartman's antisemitic views and the way he talks to Kyle are abusive. I don't particularly want to repeat the names he calls Kyle on my blog, but the language he uses to refer to Kyle's religion is incredibly demeaning and dehumanizing. Not only are his intentions TO demean and dehumanize, his intention is also to isolate Kyle and highlight his 'otherness'. Kyle feels incredibly alone despite the support he gets from his family, and that's because Cartman takes every single opportunity to remind him that he stands out and “doesn't belong”. Cartman pushes harmful stereotypes onto him and makes him feel so self conscious that he ends up doing things like taking out his self-hatred on his cousin and despising the way he looks because he inherited certain features from his parents. Cartman's antisemitism has led him to literally intend to do violence against the Jewish community and frighten Kyle into turning against his own religion. To me, it's impossible to say that Cartman isn't abusive or that Kyle isn't a victim just on this basis alone.

One of the reasons people like to say that Kyle can't be a victim is because he physically lashes out at Cartman sometimes, so therefore they're somehow "even". This is problematic because it implies that unless a person takes the abuse lying down, it doesn't count as abuse. No, Kyle doesn't just accept the abuse (though he sometimes lets it slide), but that doesn't mean he's not being abused. Heidi ended up fighting back and becoming violent too. Would anyone argue that she wasn't being abused by Cartman? I seriously doubt it, the whole relationship was a textbook case of emotional abuse and manipulation right down to the initial love bombing. Cartman, like many abusers, intentionally pushes his victims to the brink and then continues to push their buttons until they snap and lash out at him, therefore enabling him to call himself the victim in the situation. And the scary part is that it works! So many people in the fandom have fallen for it and convinced themselves that Cartman and Kyle are on an even playing field and Kyle fighting back somehow makes Cartman's behavior okay. That's what he'd want you to think. Abusers LOVE to victimize themselves. Kyle defends himself from Cartman's manipulations and threats the only way he knows how, and Cartman pretends Kyle is the bully.

Another argument I've seen is that there is no power imbalance between Cartman and Kyle. On the surface, this appears to be true. They are generally equals - they're the same age, have the same physical capabilities, etc. But I would argue that they do have a power imbalance, and that's because Cartman can, will, and DOES go to any lengths to get what he wants. He lies, he manipulates, and commits acts of violence. He has absolutely no moral code when it comes to other human beings and no conscience. He's simply willing to do things that Kyle isn't, which creates a power imbalance. Kyle can't match up to him because he does have a moral code and a very vocal conscience, which Cartman takes advantage of at every turn. He knows Kyle won't do much more than call him fat, or randomly sucker punch him when he's pushed too far. He knows he holds most of the cards in their dynamic.

Cartman thrives on publicly humiliating Kyle, which is a form of abuse. The biggest example of this is obviously Ginger Cow. I don't see how anyone could watch that episode and not understand that what Cartman was doing was abuse, regardless of Kyle "choosing" to go along with it. Kyle was being held hostage by his own martyr complex, but that doesn't negate the fact that Cartman enthusiastically and constantly humiliated him in public for his own gratification.

Cartman also doesn't respect Kyle's boundaries or ability to say "no". Imaginationland is the most obvious example of this. Kyle made an agreement that he didn't think he'd ever actually have to make good on, and Cartman was literally going to stop at nothing to force Kyle to suck his balls, no matter how much Kyle said no. He then used Kyle's own words against him by "imagining" a "real" scenario where Kyle couldn't say no, and did it in front of everyone (going back to the public humiliation thing). Kyle was obviously angry and distraught having to watch this, and Cartman enjoyed that too.

Cartman doesn't respect Kyle's privacy, either. He tells Butters in Tonsil Trouble that he's sneaked into Kyle's bedroom "loads of times". Who knows what he does while he's in there, but it can't be good. Even if it was completely innocent, it's still a form of abuse because it shows that he doesn't give a shit about Kyle's basic human rights. He also clearly doesn't care about Kyle's bodily autonomy - in that same episode, he intentionally infects him with HIV as revenge. He also views him as an object/possession in Humancentipad.

I've seen people say that Kyle isn't a victim of Cartman's abuse because Kyle still appears to care enough about Cartman to help him or take care of him, like in Manbearpig of Jewpacabra. Because if Cartman is really such a monster, Kyle would just let him get what he deserves right? Not necessarily. People who are abused often have really complicated relationships with their abusers. They might hate them, but simultaneously love them or at the very least want the best for them. They also often think it's their responsibility to help or "fix" the abuser (who appeals to this by placing the responsibility of their abuse on their victim's shoulders). In Kyle's case, he feels personally responsible for Cartman and wants to help him be better, and he cares about him despite everything, though he hates his guts at the same time.

Cartman does try to isolate Kyle from his main support person, which is (or was) Stan. He enjoys it when they fight and uses those opportunities to further drive a wedge between them, like in the Black Friday Trilogy. He knows from experience - YGO and Ass Burgers - that Kyle is much more pliable and easy to get along with when he doesn't have Stan around to be a voice of reason. He is able to have Kyle to himself when they're fighting, which is what he wants. He's nicest to Kyle when Stan is out of the picture, which is sort of Cartman's way of 'love bombing' him, by giving him roles to play, not being outright cruel to him, and supporting his ideas. This of course doesn't last, it's a way to manipulate Kyle into distancing himself even more from Stan. We saw with Heidi that he did the same things to her when she was alone in the world, but the second she started branching out again he flipped a switch and became sadistic, cruel, and even more manipulative.

Abusers are never abusive 100% of the time. They all have moments of kindness or act sympathetic at times… that’s how they keep their victims trapped in the abuse cycle. Cartman is no exception. He does have moments where he defends Kyle, saves him, protects him, or acts nice to him. These moments make their relationship confusing and weird for Kyle, who sees the humanity in Cartman and wants to help him be a better person. But Cartman’s moments of kindness or support don’t undermine his many more moments of abusive behavior.

In short, Cartman's abuse tactics are mostly based in verbal cruelty, manipulation, humiliation, and a total disregard for Kyle's humanity, autonomy, and privacy.

Cartman, like all of the kids in SP, has experienced a lot of trauma, but abusers who have experienced abuse themselves are still abusers. It's okay to have sympathy for him for the things he's experienced; it's not okay to minimize the impact of his actions on other characters because of it. He is an abusive person toward almost everyone he knows, including Kyle. I think Cartman is a fascinating character! But he’s more than just an asshole kid.

Hopefully this answers your request!

[recurring-polynya]

Your thoughts and headcannons on Nemuri Hachigou because I don't think she gets talked about enough, when in reality she's pretty interesting, she's essentially, a blank slate, Mayuri's second chance that I don't think he feels like he deserves. She's Nemu but she isn't and I think people(especially Mayuri) forget that a lot, that's a fascinating position to be in.

Puttin’ this under a cut because I’m gonna say some unkind things about Mayuri and I do not want to cause any distress to the many lovely people on this website who delight in his horrible antics.

This is not so much a headcanon so much as a thing I came up with for fanfiction purposes, but it’s all I got.

Right. So, like I said, I despise Mayuri. I just hate him. I understand that he appeals to some people, but I strongly dislike the dude and go to exorbitant lengths to avoid him ever appearing in my fanfic.

Additionally, I do not vibe with Nemu 7. She registers as not-a-person for me, she’s basically an extension of Mayuri himself. Don’t get me wrong, I find Mayuri’s treatment of her to be vile and I wish someone would take her away from him, but she comes off as very robotic to me. She is conscious, but she is not an independent being, if that makes sense. She is not a real girl. It’s funny that Mayuri keeps talking about how advanced she is, because clearly he means only her cognitive and fighting abilities. In terms of recreating a person, she’s incredibly primitive compared to the other mod souls we see. Take Kon, for example, who has a fairly limited powerset, but is never presented as less of a soul than any of the other characters. An even more interesting example is Ururu and Jinta. Ururu is described as being older than Jinta, and she is clearly “less human” than him-- she has less affect, she shifts into a distinct “attack” mode, etc, which implies that Jinta represents advances in mod soul technology. It’s notable that Urahara and Tessai and even Renji, in the canon scene where he protects the Shouten kids, never treats them as anything less than people. The contrast with the way Mayuri treats Nemu is stark. He likes that her feelings and personality are limited, he sees this as a feature.

I was completely unmoved by the entire chapter where Nemu died. Her sacrifice did not come across to me as anything indicating growth or humanity-- in every battle she's ever been in, she nearly dies because Kurotsuchi tells her to. She simply prioritizes Mayuri over herself. She always has. It’s simply the logical extension of her programming. A lot of people say they would have preferred Nemu to live and Mayuri to die and for sure I would have *preferred* that, but I have never seen Nemu as enough of a character to be worth rooting for. Like, at least Uryuu would have gotten some satisfaction form killing his clown ass, and that might have convinced me for at least half a second that he actually was on the side of the Quincy.

Caveat: if some talented fanficcer wants to write a short novel on Nemu discovering her humanity etc etc, I’m all for it, I’m just saying that canon hasn’t given us anything to suggest she would do more than just shut down without Mayuri to tell her what to do.

Onto Nemuri 8. I can’t believe they let Mayuri have another one. It makes my blood boil. The dude is an on-screen abuser and Kubo had the gall to try to make me feel sorry feel him (I did not) and then gave him another one.

So, I took her away from him.

I mentioned earlier that I go to great lengths to keep Mayuri the hell out of my fanfic, and usually the way I do that is to have my characters go through Akon whenever they have to deal with Squad 12. I think I started doing this because Akon is sort of weirdly familiar with Renji and Rukia in the TYBW, but I have projected all over him and he’s mine now. The way I assume Squad 12 functions, based on my career in scientific programming, is that Mayuri is like a primary investigator-- he's the Big Ideas guy and he spends a lot of time doing wholly self-directed research. He’s the face of Squad 12, so he has to go talk to the Captain-Commander and beg for money and defend blowing things up, but when it comes to science stuff, he does what he wants. Nemu is the lieutenant, and I think she handles most of the usual lieutenanting-- paperwork, meetings, etc., but I think Mayuri takes up a lot of her time by using her as a personal lab assistant on his wacky projects. There's nothing wrong with this, but I think in a lot of squads, the lieutenant is responsible for the day-to-day running of the squad and spends a lot of time dealing with their subordinates and other lieutenants. Nemu, instead, focuses on her captain. Now, the rest of the Gotei counts on Squad 12 for a lot actually-- gigai, Hollow tracking, Dangai monitoring, etc. etc. From the point of view of most science people, this stuff is mundane-- it’s all application, not development, and all the difficulty is in the twitchy little details. It’s frustrating and it’s unrewarding and you never get credit for it, and it is vitally important. There is a certain kind of science professional that makes a career out of this. They usually have master's degrees instead of PhDs, and they are usually tragically underpaid and underappreciated for what they do. In the real world, without these people, you wouldn’t have mass vaccination sites or weather data on your phone or cute li’l robots landing on other planets. In Bleach, these are the people keeping soul reapers alive in the field. And in my mind, this is Akon’s department.

So here’s the headcanon:

After Nemu’s death, Mayuri has so much sad clown pain about it that he wants another robot child poste-haste, but can’t bring himself to do the actual work, so he shoves it off onto Akon, with a list of the design specs he wants. The last one was pretty good, Akon can handle a few minor upgrades, it doesn’t need his personal hand in it. Thinking about going through all that work again just pisses him off, honestly. What a waste!

And Akon's like, yeah, cool, fine. It was heavily implied that he did a lot of the work on Nemu 7, it's just a matter of digging out his old notes and cleaning out some vats.

Except that, right around the same time, Rukia and Renji decide to have a baby.

Babies are super rare in the Gotei, and it’s not like those stuffy nobles are gonna let Akon look at their precious offspring. But Rukia is a rank weirdo, and Akon is their pal, so she’s always like “I hear they have these things in the Living World where you can pee on a stick and tell if you’re pregnant, can you make me one?” and Akon’s brain goes, “Wow, what even is the first detectable sign of a newly formed soul, this is very interesting.” So, at the same time he’s trying to grow a new and improved Nemu, he’s got access to the developing fetus of two captain-class shinigami. So when he has to pick between eight good candidate embryos to move to the next vat, he picks… not the one with the strongest reiatsu signature, like they did last time, but the one whose reiatsu looks the most like a real baby.

Akon reminds me of a lot of programmers I know, so I always sort of headcanon him as particularly interested in whatever passes for programming in Squad 12, and I think he takes special interest in revamping Nemu’s artificial intelligence system, which is primarily based on taking in information about the world and building up a realistic personality based on people she observes. In particular, it gives extra weight to “people who resemble her”. Nemu 7 was raised by Squad 12, so she came up very Squad 12, just like Mayuri wanted. Unfortunately, toddler Hachigou Nemuri’s algorithm unexpectedly decides that she has much more in common with toddler Abarai Ichika than any of the adult soul reapers around her.

Nemuri 8 is a very successful sample in terms of power and intelligence but she’s also very boisterous, and the rest of Squad 12 is like “Akon do something” so Akon takes drastic measures: he asks Renji for parenting advice. Distressingly, Renji is full of useful ideas like “tire her out” and “only fight the important battles” and “we’re signed up for baby yoga, you wanna start comin’ to baby yoga? Your back is gonna thank you.”

Akon didn't mean to let them hang out so much, but Ichika is a very useful data point and also if he takes Nemuri over to the Abarai house, the girls will entertain themselves (i.e. chew on each other) long enough for him to have a beer with Renji and Rukia and honestly my man really needs that beer.

I don’t think Akon thinks of himself as Nemu’s dad past the first time when she calls him ‘Daddy’ and he corrects her (she only did it because that’s what Ichika calls Renji, very predictable quirk of her programming). She’s just a work project. She’s not even his project, she’s Mayuri’s project, he’s just handling the little details. Fathering just happens to be an adjacent field of study that he’s found to contain a number of very useful best practices.

I would prefer not to get into the detail of the physical abuse that Mayuri uses against Nemu 7, but I would like to think that Akon finds ways to protect Nemuri 8 from the same, or barring that, maybe this is what finally drives Akon to murder Kurotsuchi and become Squad 12 captain himself.

Other Nemuri Headcanons:

Her favorite book is Rejection of the Twin Fishes!, Captain Ukitake’s posthumously published children’s book.

She prefers to be called “Nemuri” over “Nemu.”

Nemuri’s second favorite person in Squad 12 after Akon is Rin, because he always has candy. Rin actually likes having someone to share his hobby with and helps her make a World of the Living Snack Bucket List. When other shinigami come in for gigai, Nemuri constantly tries to con them into bringing something back for her.

Rukia teaches her to cuss, but tells her never to do it around Akon. Nemuri never actually cusses around anyone, but really enjoys having Forbidden Knowledge.

Speaking of Forbidden, she is mildly obsessed with Urahara, even though she’s never met him. She’s constantly on the lookout for thumbprints of his work in modern Squad 12 technology.

The one thing she does have in common with Mayuri is an absolutely batshit personal aesthetic. She starts painting her face as a tween and is somewhat inconveniently both into piercings and inflatable outfits.

The true proof that she has surpassed her predecessor, at least in terms of humanity, is that she is able to learn the name of her zanpakutou.

Oh, if you want to read any of my fanfics with Nemuri, here's one where she and Ichika play football and here's one where she tries to con Byakuya into buying her shaved ice. I really like writing Nemuri hanging out with Byakuya because I think an adult man who navigates social settings via rigid system of etiquette and class hierarchy and a small child with a pile of Markov chains for a brain would be natural friends.

[glitxhwayventeen]

Lonely Together

Jihoon: Chapter 2 (Dark Side)

Characters: Jihoon x female reader

Genre/Warnings: multi-member au (different scenarios), werewolf au, fantasy, angst, fluff, potential blood mentions, genocide, runaways, health issue mentions, weapon mentions, panic attack description? (Though honestly it’s more of an anxiety attack), death mentions, child abandonment mentions. Any others will be put as warnings when future chapters are thought up/written.

Author’s Note: I recommend listening to Dark Side by R5. I thought the actual lyrics to the song gave off a solid vibe that I wanted to transfer to the start of this particular chapter.

Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! They’re just for fun/entertainment!

Bold= Dialogue Italics= Thoughts

🥀 & ☁️

Lonely Together Master List

Chapter 2: Dark Side

When you woke up this morning, you had the sweet scent of Vanilla and honey hit your nose. It was warm and inviting and made you feel safe. You were glad, normally you’d never feel safe in the wild. The pack helped a lot with that issue. But when you woke up today, you noticed that you had woken up to a quiet house. Which was… strange to say the least. There was always some sort of ruckus going on downstairs in the early hours. So you figured you’d go investigate cautiously, in case something had happened. You grabbed your thigh garter belt with your knives attached before you quietly made your way down the stairs. You saw and heard no one. Nothing was wrong or out of place. Everyone was just… gone. But why?

“Boy, you come prepared don’t you?” A male voice said from the stairs, causing you to jolt back in surprise, automatically drawing your knife from its holster on sheer instinct, ready to release it at any given moment.

You relaxed and placed it back to your thigh as you realized it was just Jihoon, one of the less spoken wolves of the pack.

He was only a few inches taller than you, but you were still incredibly intimidated by him. You weren’t sure why all the others were terrified to piss him off, even the alphas, but you were never worried he’d get mad at you. Which was weird, you were always skeptical of everyone, it was just in your nature as a rogue wolf.

However, with him, it wasn’t horror that overtook your veins, it was nervousness. Like you had some sort of school girl crush on him and you were worried you’d mess something up in front of him and die from the embarrassment of it. But why? Why would you care what some rando wolf would think of you when you’d probably be leaving in a bit when your wounds were healed better?

“Jesus Jihoon! You know I could’ve killed you right? Didn’t your parents ever tell you not to fuck with a bitch with knives?” You huffed out in annoyance while slapping you hands over your face, praying that he hadn’t seen your cherry red cheeks yet.

Of course he had though. He never took his eyes off of you whenever you were in a room. You were just too zoned off to notice

“Uh no… Not really. Never had them so they didn’t teach me shit. Not that any of that matters. We both know you’d never hurt anyone if you could help it.” He shrugged, nudging past you to make his way to the fridge for a bite to eat with a small smile pasted on his glorious lips. God he annoyed you.

“You don’t know that. I always come prepared, I could be a serial killer for all any of you know” you cooly threw his way as you let your guard down slightly, for some reason trusting him enough to have a semi civilized conversation alone.

“Yeah yeah you’re a little vicious killer. Whatever you say kid” He laughed out, trying to keep his amusement in check at your quick replies.

You gritted your teeth, “Hey I am not a kid! I’m centuries old! MUCH older than you.” You smugly responded to his bitch ass nickname for you.

Jihoon looked you up and down for a second, making you a bit self conscious and spreading a heat down to your lower belly, “You don’t look older than me. Matter of fact, you look like the youngest one here. So I’m gonna keep calling you kid, kid.” He leaned in close to you and whispered seductively in your ear.

“Where- where is everyone?” You stuttered out, trying your best not to focus on the minimal contact Jihoon had made with your shoulder while brushing past you moments ago. Curse your dumb instincts. Why did you have to find him attractive? Couldn’t your wolf side ever just stay in check?

“The market? No, to Taeyong’s? Maybe it was to the river? I dont know by the time they left it didn’t seem like they even knew where they were going so I stopped listening.” He answered while taking a bit of an apple he had snagged from the fruit basket on the counter.

“W-why didn’t you go with them?” You questioned him as you tried your best to avoid his piercing gaze.

“Didn’t feel like third wheeling a bunch of mated coupled wolves.” He shrugged once more while sitting himself on the kitchen table you were next to, “Plus, someone needed to stay here and keep an eye on the house.”

“I would’ve been here.” You chimed in, as if he would’ve ever seriously left you alone.

Whether you were a Werewolf or not, he was NOT gonna leave you without some sort of safety net if he could help it. If he had it his way, you wouldn’t even go down to the market with the other mates when supplies were needed. He knew you could handle yourself as a fellow wolf, and he knew you were the best to go because you weren’t marked yet, but he was worried for you.

You definitely had people looking at you because of your different appearance. You were drop dead gorgeous to anyone with eyes, and that greatly concerned him every-time you went out shopping. He may have been more of a lone wolf, but he wanted to protect you at all cost, even if you didn’t realize that’s what he was doing yet.

“Doesn’t count. You’re a FANCY werewolf, remember?” He emphasized the word fancy in a condescending way that irked your nerves all the way to your core.

“We don’t know what you can do yet. Besides, you act like I’d actually want to go watch them make goo goo eyes at each other all day long. Seeing them cuddle and dry hump the whole time we’re doing something isn’t my idea of fun. I’d rather be here and enjoy the peace and quiet while I can.” He said as he tossed the remains of his apple in the garbage can in one swift motion.

“I can do everything you guys can and more!” You defended yourself, getting a bit frustrated at the younger wolf for doubting your abilities.

“Then prove it. Do something… super wolfy” he chuckled out, half jokingly and half seriously in what a normal person would recognize as a flirty manner.

He hadn’t had too many girlfriends. His experience with girls was limited compared to his brothers. So sticking to his sarcastic edgy tone was the only way he knew how to engage with you.

He was curious as to what your powers entailed anyways. They all were, none of them had met a wolf like you before. All the wolves they knew were modern, and the only seriously powerful wolf they knew was from a Chinese pack that had fled to their area who could communicate with heaven, hell, and the nether realms. They had heard stories that had been passed down for some generations about what wolves were like long ago, but none of it was confirmed because nearly all had been killed or died off. So they wanted to see if you could actually do all the things from the legends they heard about your people. For all they knew, you could fly.

You hesitated for a moment, trying your best to think of something, anything that you could do that would shut him up and prove your point. But everything you thought of required you to be much stronger than you currently were. None of the visible powers you had were working right now due to the small amount of silver still running through your system. Even if you were working at full strength and weren’t hurt, you had never been able to use your powers to their full extent do to something having been wrong with you since birth.

“… I- I cant.” You sighed in defeat while bringing your head down to look at your hands.

“Why not?” He wondered aloud, not even really meaning to tease you, he just let the innocent question slip from his lips without thinking.

“Because I got hurt and I have no way to get better! My entire pack is dead! Everyone I love is dead! I don’t have a mate! I need some sort of connection to the people around me to heal faster and I don’t have one anymore! I need one or the other to have my powers come back this quickly after such a traumatic incident and I have neither! I’m fucked up and I’ve been fucked up for a long time okay!” You snapped, your eyes now bleeding and turning emerald green from anger as you yelled at him.

Once you saw his confused and remorseful expression, you quickly closed your eyes and turned around to try and calm down. You didn’t mean to go after him like that, but you were already very worried about your own health not coming back and the taunting tone in his voice just made you break. You could feel the hurt in his heart. It made you want to cry, you didn’t mean to yell at him. You were just a very touchy person who had been asked about a very touchy subject.

“I- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get upset. I just- I’m concerned for myself and this conversation… well it made the concerns I already had skyrocket. But that’s not your fault. You would’ve had no way of knowing that. I apologize for getting mad at you over something so childish.” You earnestly said, trying your best to look him in the eyes without blushing from embarrassment.

He quickly moved his head down to look at his lap. He understood your pain. He could feel it everyday. You were his mate, he already did have a connection to you. He knew when you were sad or hurt or worried. He knew that you weren’t just in physical pain, but emotional pain as well. He wished he could take it all away from you so you never felt a negative feeling again. But he just couldn’t. Though, he was upset at himself for making it worse for you. Why did he always have to try and stir the pot? Couldn’t he just leave well enough alone? Couldn’t he just be cool around you and know when to stop?

“It’s okay. I… I understand what it’s like. To not have anyone I mean. I didn’t realize that you actually had to have those things in order to heal better though. With wolves now, we don’t necessarily have to have those things. I mean having them helps, but we get better eventually anyways as long as we get the wound cleaned properly. I didn’t know it was different for you...” He bit his lip as he continued, “But you know, our pack can be your pack, if you want anyway. There’s an opening for another ticking time bomb now that Chan’s found a mate. You’d be perfect for the job” he joked, though you could tell he was serious at the offer for you to join the pack.

“Yeah… how much does it pay an hour?” You played along, trying to lighten the mood from the tension you had made appear due to your little anger outburst.

You hurriedly propped yourself up on the table next to Jihoon, who gave you a small smile in return. It gave you goosebumps all over your skin. So you were thankful you had grabbed a large sweater the pack had given you before you went downstairs this morning.

You were given a bunch of them. They made you feel safe, and you loved the way they smelt. So when the other mates apologized and said they didn’t have many ‘girly clothing items’ to give you as getting clothing was sparse at the moment, you didn’t complain. You were perfectly content with your bigger clothing.

When you sat up on the table, you smelt the same scent of vanilla and honeysuckle that you nostrils had been absorbing from the clothing given to you…

“Not a lot.” Jihoon confessed, “we only offer housing, protection, and being around people who would do anything for you. But honestly, you could do a lot worse in terms of a career.” He bit his lip once more, the action drawing a small pur from your chest, which you tried to cover with a small cough. Of course he still caught the sound though. You weren’t even sure why looking at him made you that happy. The sound made Jihoon swoon, he loved that he already had such an impact on you.

“Of course there’s also some downside like with all jobs… like having to constantly break up fights, having a complete jackass for a mate, and well… you know… sharing bathrooms…” he trailed on, rubbing his neck while he attempted to make it seem like the middle part was casual.

“Wait! A complete WHAT for a WHO and WHERE was I???” You all but yell out in shock, making Jihoon wince.

He couldn’t tell if you were upset that he’d just burst it out like that. He honestly couldn’t even tell if you knew you were his mate or not. He didn’t know if you WANTED a mate or not. From what he knew of you, you usually stayed away from people unless you had to be around them. You told the others that staying alone is how you’d survived all these centuries. But Would you make an exception to your rules for survival to stay with him?

“Uh… yeah. A mate. That would- that would be me. I’m your mate…” He whispered, attempting as best as he could to regain control of his heartbeat that was now almost pounding out of his chest.

That’s when it all clicked in your head. Why they let you eat first with the mates, with the OTHER mates. You were one of them. It’s why they found you when you needed help, he must’ve felt you were in danger. It’s why you didn’t die that day even though your wounds would’ve been normally fatal even to you, because he was near you and never left your side. It’s why you weren’t scared of him like everyone else, you knew he’d never hurt you because he loved you. It’s why the pack always giggled anytime you and Jihoon would get near each other. It’s why the smell on your sweaters and his smell were so familiar, he gave them to you because you were his. You two were mates. It all made sense.

“We’re- we’re mates?” You reaffirmed out loud, but you started to feel dizzy. You weren’t sure what was happening.

Everything was going too fast, it felt like you were moving in slow motion but the entire world was spinning as fast as it could around you. The edges of your vision started becoming fuzzy and dark. You started to feel like you were going to pass out, but before you could fall flat on your face to the floor, Jihoon caught your fragile body in his arms.

“Yes. We are. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, but I wanted to give you some time to adjust to being around normal people before I told you.” He assured you as he started moving towards the stairs, bringing you to his room and setting you down on his bed. He was incredibly worried for you, he could hear your heart rate slowing by the second.

“You might need to lay down. You don’t look well” he spoke softly as he held the back of one of his larger hands to your clammy forehead.

“Yeah… okay… rest… that makes sense… I’m sorry I- I just wasn’t expecting-” You tried to say as you start to give into the panicking darkness, not wanting to fight the urge to black out anymore.

“It’s okay. It’s a lot to take in. Just try and sleep okay?” He shushed you as he moved his blankets over your petite form, hesitant to touch you as he didn’t want to make matters worse. But his inner wolf was screaming at him to hold you and rock you to help you.

Everything you had heard about Jihoon told you he wasn’t someone who could have a relationship. All the others always talked about him wanting no one around him ever. They called him a grumpy old rogue wolf who miraculously got stuck in their pack. They said that He did things his own way. He did things alone. So did you.

“Jihoon, how the hell are we supposed to be together when we’re both lone wolves?” You whimpered out to him before everything went dark.

Another Author’s Note: alright so you guys know the drill. I wrote this close to midnight and I’m too tired to care about revising rn. So i shall look at it and fix any mistakes tomorrow when I get the time. Tomorrow I don’t think I’ll be praying more than once. Sorry, I’m working a doubt shift. But Wednesday I’m hoping to post three times! Here’s to hoping!

(Updated 9/6)

[bagog]

What On Earth Has Happened

Hey, no story here, no experiments. Just a play by play of an awful year in my life. Please don't reblog. Trying to just get it down in one place for people who care about me. Long, sob-story beneath the cut.

Air - 'Things are looking up!' I had started to drift a bit from tumblr. The porno purge came and a lot of my friends trickled off the platform after that. I went back to school, attempting to score myself a Masters degree in something that would pay enough to get me out of Student Debt. I was doing great, picking things up fast. I got a new job at a company doing pretty menial work, but the people I worked with were great conversationalists. The work didn't involve dealing with customers at all, paid well, and was small and accomplishable tasks. Essentially I was being prepped to take a better position at the place once I had my Masters. Covid happened, then. Earth - 'The Whole World Sucks Right Now' My company was "essential," so I continued going to work, now on weird schedules. The company I worked for was profiting off Covid, all the while making fun of it as an overblown conspiracy, even as their own epidemiologist urged them to take better precautions. Work became hard to swallow. Water - 'When your lowest place could be lower' The apartment I shared with my boyfriend flooded. The lowest place in any sewage system is typically the bathtub, such that if it backs up, it does so into that tub. Our lowest point is the toilet. So the apartment flooded. Three times. Roots growing through the sewage outflow meant that, often, you needed to wait a solid hour between toilet flushes, or else the toilet would back up with such gusto the sewage would slosh down the hallway and into the living room. We mopped many times. The problem was finally fixed 8 months later, necessitating our having to camp because our house had no water. Fire - 'To destroy all you've done' One afternoon, I smelled burning. Going to our bedroom, I found our shelf a column of flame. I could barely breathe for all the smoke, but I managed to grab a blanket and beat the fire out. On the other side of the room, the pages of the books upon another shelf had begun to crisp from the heat, the blinds on all the windows were warped. The whole apartment had been about to go up. I'm kinda scared of fire now. Heart - 'When moving is too much to ask' Personal health sorta hit a new low. Migraines kept me out of work for two full weeks. I have seasonal foot pain, I always assumed from hiking for a living in my 20s. Turns out it was gout, all the while. Gout is exceptionally painful: it's like a messy pile of razor blades in the ball of your foot every time you step down. At work, I could barely stand. Walking from my car to the door became something I needed to psyche myself up for. Not a lot can stop a gout flare-up once it's in full swing, so I just had to wait it out. For a month. Two. Some of the worst sustained pain I've been in. Little did I know that, in January, come the kidney stones. Kidney stones feel awful. Feel like total shit. Gout and kidney stones are comorbid--brought about as a result of the meds I take to help me focus. So any day I don't drink enough water is a day when my kidneys or my foot just starts aching. But going back to September of 2020... Homophobia - 'goddammit' Finally things are looking better. I'm limping quickly again. Then I am called into the HR office. I am told that two sexual harassment charges have been brought against me. I'm told that one individual has alleged that I, while in the restroom, used a reflective toilet brush to attempt to peep him under a stall wall. I did not do this. I do not understand--reflective toilet brush?? wtf. The second allegation: I just straight up looked over a stall at a guy. I didn't do this either. I'm asked to defend myself, I ask who or date or time of day. I am given nothing. I remark that I don't think I'm tall enough to see over the stall, and I do not understand about the toilet brush. Of the ten minutes of the meeting, I spend 8 of them trying to get my head around how a claim about a reflective toilet brush has me here. "Would you like us to go now to see if you're tall enough to see over the stall? If that would help your defense?" says the HR head. "Yes, I

would," says I. We did not go. I am told that the accusers have no reason to be collaborating, or to even know each other made a claim. This is bullshit, because it was a company of 80 people, and only a quarter of those employees used the restroom where my alleged harassment was to have taken place. Before I am dismissed from work for the day to go home and wait to find out if I'll be fired or not, I march into the HR office once more and say "I hope none of this is happening because I'm gay." The HR head looks positively offended. I got fired cuz I'm gay. Next day I got a call. They'd come to the "objective truth" (that phrase is burned in my mind), and were terminating me. Apparently they discounted the toilet brush rumor, after all. But they really honestly believed I looked over the stall at a dude. Nightmare - 'No Fear One Fear' Let me tell you something: this is a nightmare. This is my honest-to-god nightmare. I've been terrified of getting accused of something in a bathroom since I was 11 years old. I am incredibly self-conscious and careful in public restrooms. To be fired? From a place full of people I like? And all of them will think I'm a pervert. My boyfriend worked at the same place. He would now have to work there every day dealing with people looking at him and wondering what he must think of his boyfriend. That sent me on a spiral. I'm still out of work, almost a year later. It would have been the worst mental health crisis of my life if it wasn't for my boyfriend, my support network, and the meds I've finally been able to get ahold of. Oh, also. My two accusers? Were roommates. HR knew they were roommates. They basically collaborated on a story to get me fired. The story circulating around the place (I still have acquaintances I talk to working there) has dropped the reflective toilet brush entirely. I guess they thought it was too unbelievable. So anyway, the people who accused me are now telling a different set of events than what I was told. Absolute horse shit. Tried to go to my city's human right's council to see if my situation warranted further attention. I gave my side of the story--including tales of the straight manager who had had enough harassment charges brought against him that he was no longer allowed to meet female staff--which indicated I'd been treated differently and wrongly. My old job made an impassioned argument that the committee violated their First Amendment rights(?) ('Freedom of speech' is the biggie with the First Amendment, for people who cba re:USA). I won the vote!! But one member of the committee was missing. So there weren't enough people for the vote to pass. Dismissed. We took it to the EEOC to make an official federal complaint. Just a week ago, an agent of the US Government patiently explained to us that these laws are literally designed to fuck over the worker and protect the employer unless they are epically stupid, and unfortunately, mine had not been epically stupid. So there's nowhere to go, no recourse to be had. It's over, I guess. Family - 'How to sum it up quickly...' My family hit me with the old soft-disown. No more calls, no more communication. They think they are loving me by not having contact with me. By depriving me of my family, they hope it will make me realize that the path I'm on is destructive, and I'll return to them living an upright life. No. I'm living an upright life, now. And if my family can choose to throw me away, then they are not a family I choose. Then my dad hit me back two months later, absolutely gaslighting me and pretending we never had the disown conversation at all. Reality - 'I don't know who I am anymore' I have trouble knowing what's real, anymore. Every message my dad sends on the surface seems loving and supportive and plaintive. I feel I must be the one in the wrong. I got fired for bullshit reasons. It doesn't feel real. "My family can't possibly have ceased contact with me: that's one of those things I know can never happen!!" But that did happen. So what else that feels real, actually isn't? I do

mean to be so dramatic, and I won't apologize for it. But I truly do feel like my mind has been pretty thoroughly unseated by the last year. Whoever I am, I'm becoming someone different. More distilled, at very least. I've discovered a lot of things about myself: trauma that has likely led to a lot of my mental health problems. Discovered I actually have RAGING ADHD, and it has robber me of a lot of things I wanted to do, and now is sort of consuming me completely. I'm looking for help. Trying to get better. Here's hoping. Every bold point above could be its own book, for all my thoughts about them. But enough of that for now. Love you. Thanks for reading.

[wallwriterstuff]

My Evil Twin ||Alec vs Jane||

Warnings: mentions of abuse, torture and trauma. 

A request for @ferb13​   “Can I request you a headcanon about the things that make Alec more evil than Jane?” 

You absolutely can because I love this idea!! Also, please keep an eye out for an updated Upcoming Fic List tomorrow. I have two more requests I admittedly forgot about I’d like to get out now uni is done for the semester. 

I firmly believe the trauma they faced caused both twins to turn out to be incredibly sadistic and ruthless vampires, but there is definitely a case to be made that Alec is the more dangerous of the twins.

·         Alec is not quick to anger, therefore his revenge is not as instant as his sister’s. Displease Alec and you will be left wondering when exactly he will strike back – or if he even plans to – and he will let you stew in your own anxiety for the fun of it. Why torture you if your already torturing yourself?

 ·         Whereas Jane’s anger is explosive, Alec’s simmers. He has the capacity therefore to really think about just how much you’re annoying him and respond in kind. His revenge is never as swift as the agony of Jane’s gift, he will draw it out. For every second you have made him suffer he will return the favour

 ·         His gift is incredibly potent, he can strip a person’s senses and numb them, but do you think that hasn’t come with any sort of consequence for him? The truth is he simply can’t feel emotion sometimes. It takes strong emotion to really entice him to open up and feel anything, such as finding his mate for instance, but most of the time he is just…numb, and it makes him incredibly difficult to read. As such, it’s easy to find yourself trying to please him or accidentally annoying him, but you’ll never know until he reacts – which he rarely ever does. Though he doesn’t always mean to, it can often seem like he’s stringing people along because of this, but he has been known to deliberately use people’s struggles to read him to his advantage

 ·         Both twins are sadistic but in different ways. While Jane thrives off of the pain of others, Alec feeds off of their fear. He strips the senses, but they are still very much conscious. Alec enjoys their terror as their minds turn against them, imagining horrific scenarios occurring to their physical bodies while they cannot see, feel or hear their attackers coming. In this sense, he is far more sadistic than Jane, as his version of torture leaves longer lasting scars that he has absolutely no remorse about inflicting on anyone who crosses his path

 ·         Alec and Jane were raised in this life by Aro in two very different ways. Jane has, quite frankly, been groomed by Aro and is therefore much more eager to please and maintain her position as the favourite. Alec is not. Oh for sure he is loyal to Aro and will remain so out of sheer gratitude that he was saved by him, but he is very self-assured in a way Jane is not, knowing his offensive capability will either A) keep him in favour with the Masters or B) ensure he has a way out when the Masters stop giving him the opportunity to exercise that power                + Since he has no need to play the favourite, Alec will happily act his physical age and play pranks on the secretaries. He is the main reason they go through so many of them, and his pranks are by no means childish. He is a sadist remember. Physical injuries are part and parcel of otherwise highly psychologically traumatic pranks very similar to the ones he had to endure as a child. Poor Gianna never quite got rid of the scars on her knuckles after he locked her in a room full of tarantula’s – he spent four hours listening to her beg to be released while pounding on the door

 ·         In many ways Alec is seen as the calmer and more rational twin, subduing his sister when she gets violent. Some might even go so far as to say he saved them from Jane’s wrath. They are wrong. Alec is saving you from nothing, because he is extremely protective of Jane and if you anger her, you anger him. You are simply opening yourself up to his specific brand of psychological torture, and believe me when I tell you he is ten times more ruthless when it comes to defending his sister, to the point he will gladly kill for her, even if it goes against orders

 ·         Since it takes so much to get him riled up, it takes a lot more to calm him down. Alec is far more dangerous than Jane in this regard. He is very reluctant to stop using his gift once he starts, the feeling he gets watching people suffer the effects is akin to a high or an adrenaline rush maybe. He pushes his luck a lot when Aro orders him to stop whereas his sister will stop immediately. Ultimately, not even the Masters can stop him if Alec decides to make you suffer

 ·         He wears socks when relaxing in bed, enough said

 ·         Whereas Jane is cruel for a purpose (usually Aro’s), Alec is sometimes cruel just because he’s bored. Has a trial bored him? Felix suddenly can’t see. A long day of guard duty in the throne room? The secretary is distracted packing up to go home for the night, the perfect target. Alec can and will use his gift purely for entertainment purposes for the thrill he gets watching others suffer

 ·         Alec didn’t want to rely solely on his gift after a brush with a newborn once. Felix and Demetri taught him to fight at his request, but it was Caius who taught him to torture others. If Alec is a sadist then Caius taught him everything he knows, and its him that will accompany the blonde Master to the dungeon when he needs to blow off some steam on the prisoners they keep below. He doesn’t ask nor care about the crimes they committed, but when his dark side itches to be free there’s nothing better to him than slowly cracking off a finger or two. Not even Jane knows about this side of him

 ·         Ultimately, Alec is a lethal weapon in the form of a child and the way he enjoys his gift and uses it so indiscriminately shows it. He is far more evil than Jane for the sheer enjoyment he gets from torturing others in a far more traumatic way than his sister can and unlike her, he is far more difficult to reign in

[uncloseted]

I dont get what you’re trying to say. are you trying to justify what the director of euphoria does especially about how jacob guy who plays nate says he gets super uncomfortable to do those scenes even sydney has stuff ab it. Just making you look a lil strange

Anonymous asked:

You get that the actors feel uncomfortable doing those scene so it don’t make it okay only because it’s on a hbo channel.. People could still feel weird showing their body even if they signed something

Anonymous asked:

Kinda weird how you was defending sam with your all like many people who have worked with sam said those scenes are not right with them

I'm literally telling you what the actors have said about him and about the sex scenes in the show. I'm not getting the sense that any of them feel uncomfortable doing those scenes- I'm getting the sense that you feel uncomfortable with those scenes and want a reason to object to them. But let's go through what the actors have said, shall we? This is everything I could find the Euphoria actors saying about nude scenes, sex scenes, or about Sam in general:

Jacob Elordi

You said that "jacob guy who plays nate says he gets super uncomfortable to do those scenes". So let's explore that claim. Jacob has said that, "in the first season, I kind of struggled with [having an intimacy coordinator on set] because I thought it killed the spontaneity of the scene and it was a little bit hands-on, but working with her this season was such a treat. It was delightful, she was so helpful and so caring. She was there for the actor and it made the scenes just like playing any regular moment — she saved the day.” He's also said, “I’m really lucky because all my castmates are so kind and Sam [Levinson] is amazing. It’s a very safe and incredible environment to do such scenes in and having the intimacy coordinator adds another level of ‘I feel OK, I feel safe and this is for my character."

Jacob has said that he disliked the conversations surrounding his body following his performance in The Kissing Booth, though- “at the time, I was super young and got thrown into a world where everyone wanted to talk about my body…it really fucking bothered me. I don’t identify with that whatsoever. I was trying to prove myself and be known as an actor. It was so much working out and I hated every second of it.”

Sydney Sweeney

You also said that "even sydney has stuff ab it".

Sydney has said that, "I’ve never felt like Sam has pushed it on me or was trying to get a nude scene into an HBO show. When I didn't want to do it, he didn't make me." She has also said that, "I said, 'Sam, I don't think that she needs to be naked in the scene and I don't feel comfortable doing it. Everyone's just going to look at my boobs and not actually take the scene seriously for the content that's happening. He was like, 'Okay, yeah. You don’t have to do that.' … I appreciate people being worried … but I'm totally fine on Euphoria."

About other shows, she has said, "I've had experiences where I want to go home and scrub myself completely raw because I feel disgusting. I didn't feel comfortable with my castmate or the crew, and I just didn't feel like my character would be doing it. That made me even more self-conscious. I didn't feel like I was able to speak up."

Zendaya

Zendaya hasn't commented on sex scenes specifically, but she has said that, "I'm very grateful that I'm in a space where I feel comfortable and safe, and with actors and actresses that I'm obviously very close with."

Minka Kelly

About the nudity that was originally written into the script, Minka Kelly said that, "That was my first day as a guest on this new show, and I just didn't feel comfortable standing there naked. [Sam] was like, 'Okay!' He didn't even hesitate. And he shot a beautiful scene and got exactly what he wanted."

Chloe Cherry

Chloe actually hasn't talked about nudity in the show at all, even though a lot of the conversation around nudity is around her. She has said that "Sam wanted to do the scene with me completely naked and Tyler [who plays Custer] was like, ‘That’s a lot,’ so they decided not to. But I was covered in fake blood and just felt so good being on set.” She has said that, "Sam is so great. He's so creative with his directing," and that, "[Sam] was just so good at connecting with me and getting me to really relate to Faye, to pull from my life to make it feel real. We talked a lot, and I honestly found him to be a very fascinating person...He has such a vision.” She has also said that, “I was always comfortable in my sexuality, loved feeling my sexual power, and loved turning people on. I was very comfortable in my body, and proud of my body. I just know who the fuck I am. And I love doing shit that makes people nervous.”

Martha Kelly

Martha Kelly, who plays Laurie, has said that, “There is that scene where Rue is getting into the tub, and Laurie injects her with morphine — and in the script, it is even creepier, because Laurie is helping her undress and get in the tub, and it is approaching this gross pedophilia vibe. Initially, I was just like, 'I can’t do this,' but then I met with Sam and he was so lovely about it. I spoke with him and decided not to ask him to change anything... I would never tell a writer or a director if they could change something for me. If I accept a part it’s because I want to do it, and I like the people I am working with, so I do not want to intrude with my own self-centered discomfort.” And then Sam ended up changing the scene himself, which Martha says she was happy about.

Alexa Demie

Alexa has said that, “When I read the script I was like this all makes sense and I want to do it. The nudity was — it was tough for me because I’m, you know, I’m not really… I’m just not comfortable like that publicly. So it was hard for me. But it definitely, like I said, pulled me out of my comfort zone, and after I did it, I watched it and it’s just…it’s not that serious."

Eric Dane

Eric has said that, "those [sex] scenes are very difficult to shoot, It helps to have one voice in your ear. One voice that you can express your feelings to, and somebody that is an advocate for the actors. It just simplifies a lot of things and makes for a safe and comfortable environment while shooting something that is fairly uncomfortable to shoot. And certainly, the stuff that we did in the pilot is no exception. It’s a pretty intense scene. I’m willing to do anything that’s critical to the story and crucial to creating a very real and truthful feel to how the story is gonna go down. I just don’t see how you shoot a scene like that without showing nudity. And, you know, it kind of matches the stakes. The stakes are so high, you can’t hold anything back, really... Using a prosthetic [penis] is sort of protocol. It’s protocol and it’s also very considerate to your scene partner. There was one isolated shot that I suggested, ‘Look if it makes more sense to not use a prosthetic, I’m willing to go there.’ At the end of the day, because of the context, we decided that the prosthetic was the way to go, and we came to that decision as a group.” In that same interview, he said that, “Sam [Levinson] is such a strong writer. He’s got such a unique and articulate vision. I felt like if I were going to play a role like this, then I was in really good hands.”

Jeremy O Harris

Tony winning playwright and co-producer of Euphoria, Jeremy O. Harris, has said, “What’s not fun is seeing people make up things about someone who’s very close to me, who’s been the best boss I’ve ever known, who’s one of my best friends, whose son I’m the godfather of … based on conjecture and gossip websites,” about Sam Levinson.

Like, don't get me wrong, there's absolutely a lot to criticize Sam Levinson over. Complaints were rumored to have been made to SAG-AFTRA, the actor's union, about the working conditions on the set of Euphoria's second season, although HBO maintains that, “the well-being of cast and crew on our productions is always a top priority... we maintain an open line of communication with all the guilds, including SAG-AFTRA. There were never any formal inquiries raised.”

There were reportedly needlessly long workdays, failure to provide meals on time or adequate breaks, lack of a proper holding area for extras, and a generally disorganized set. Sam Levinson reportedly didn't come to set with a shot list and edits were being made to the script while on set. I think Sam would benefit from bringing additional writers onto the show. The script lacked direction overall, and in my opinion, it didn't need as much sexual content as it had (or even as much sexual content as made it into the show) in order to tell the story it was trying to tell. Those are all totally valid criticisms and things that need to be fixed for the next season of the show.

But I'm not getting "the actors feel super uncomfortable doing those scenes" from the public statements they've made. I'm getting something more like, "nude scenes are always difficult and awkward, but sometimes they're necessary for the story you're trying to tell. The cast and crew are very supportive in making those scenes as comfortable as possible for us." At the end of the day, these actors are adults. They can make their own decisions about when to show their bodies and when to push back on nudity for their characters. Their opinions on nude scenes are being respected, and the show is putting in the work to make sure that those scenes are as comfortable as they can be. The cast also seems to have nothing but nice things to say about Sam. So I'm just not willing to call for him to be fired over the nudity in the show, at least not right now.

If anyone comes out and is like, "I've actually found this to be a really traumatic experience and Sam forced me to do scenes I didn't want to do," I will of course change my tune. But for now it seems like the internet has kind of grabbed sound bites and run with them to create a controversy about Sam Levinson in order to legitimize their dislike of this season of the show. I feel like the larger context of the conversation that's being had about these scenes- how we treat female actors who choose to be nude versus their male counterparts, how we can make those scenes safe and comfortable to shoot, when nudity is necessary and when it's not- is being lost in favor of controversy for controversy's sake.

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Scantily Clad {One Shot}**

Henry Cavill x Reader

Warning: Cursing, Dominant Behavior, SMUUUUUT, NSFW, Mildly Rough Sex

Words: 4.5k

Summary: Reader is going to an event with Henry, and this is what she decides to wear. Henry isn't happy about it at all. He puts his foot down, but the reader is stubborn and plays the feminist card and still chooses to wear it.

Note: A little HC action for you guys, it has been a while and I miss him. As always, thank you guys for reading, I appreciate you guy so much!!!

If you enjoyed this please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG.  ❤️❤️❤️

***Loosely Edited/Proofread***

***Interactive***

“Y/N, are you ready yet? We’re going to be late, darling,” Henry shouted from downstairs in the foyer of his London flat.

 “Ten minutes, babe, I promise.”

 He sighed and checked his watch for the eighth time in the last twenty minutes. You’d told him ten minutes twenty minutes ago. He should have been used to this. You’d been together for almost two years and engaged for four months, and in all that time, this was not the first time you’d taken forever and a day to get ready. He sat in the lounge chair in the foyer and pulled out to phone to answer some emails. He knew that he wouldn’t be getting to any work for the rest of the night, thanks to the event he was going to. That was if you ever came downstairs.

 He’d left you in the bedroom forty minutes ago doing your make up and hair. He always loved watching you get ready. It was like a show of you getting done up before the show of him undoing you. He always watched and planned how he’d do it, where he’d start, and by the time he’d formulated a plan, he was always aroused. He also knew that you knew when he was watching. You’d make it a point to make eye contact with him at several points in your process. When you painted your lips with your chosen lip color, you’d lock eyes with him. When you sucked your cheeks in to apply whatever product it was to your cheeks, you stared into his eyes. You knew just what you were doing.

 Tonight wasn’t any different. He watched you put one side of your hair up to showcase that gorgeous décolletage and had to restrain himself from going to you to pepper kisses along your skin. The look in your eyes said you wanted him to do it too. When he couldn’t handle watching the golden glow of your skin any longer, he retreated to his office to do a little work. Glancing at his watch again, he groaned, but it was then he heard the upstairs bedroom door close.

“I’m coming, I’m coming, I’m coming,” you shouted from upstairs.

 He stood, buttoned his tux jacket, and adjusted his cuffs in prep to leave. The clink of your heels coming down the marbled stairs had him looking up with a smile to watch. What he saw not only took his breath away, shocked him, and annoyed him, but it also confused him. You descended the stairs in a metallic gunmetal grey type gown that incredibly left little to the imagination. As you came down the remaining steps, his eyes darted to every place your skin peeked through.

 “I’m here, see I told you ten minutes.” You stopped in front of him, showing him up close just what you’d decided to wear tonight. He heard your voice, but it was mumbled. None of your words were making it to his consciousness. He was too lost in your dress.

 “Henry!”

Snapping his head up to your face, he wanted to say something about how beautiful you looked, but something else came out.

 “What’s wrong, baby?” Your voice was full of concern as you reached for him, but he stepped back.

 “What are you wearing?”

 You reared your head back and gave him a confused look.

 “What? It’s a dress. It goes perfectly with your bow tie. Come on, we’re going to be late,” you answered before you walked to the mirror in the foyer, giving him the view of the equally revealing back.

 “Where the bloody hell do you think you’re going dressed like that?”

 That was when you spun around with the look he knew well that said he was acting like a wanker.

 “Excuse me?”

 “I can see—everything, Y/N.”

 “You’re exaggerating it’s not that bad,” you defended.

 “Not that bad?” He approached you and touched the slab of fabric that hugged your breast. “This looks like if you bent down and stood, your breast will be out. Not to mention, it gives the perfect imprint of your breasts, giving the world an adequate size measurement.”

 “You’re kidding right, Henry?”

 “No. Then look at this split. Why is it so high? Your entire thigh and hip are showing. Are you wearing knickers?”

 “Wow, of course, I’m wearing underwear. Who do you think I am?”

 “I thought I knew, but look at how you’re dressed. You have to go change,” he finished in the voice that said his decision was final.

 You snorted then laughed loudly. This was not the time to provoke him, he thought.

 “I don’t know who you think you are or even who you think I am that I’d let any man dictate what I wear, especially when it is appropriate enough,” you contested as you brushed past him walking to the front door.

 “Y/N!” It was his dominating tone. You stopped in your tracks straightened your back and turned to him.

 “You may dominate me in that bedroom upstairs, but that is the only thing you dominate me in. Just because you fuck me until I’m weak does not mean that you control me, Henry. Never make that mistake, and if it’s a meek little mouse you want, then maybe you should rethink this ring on my finger. I’ll be in the car when you’re done throwing a tantrum like a little boy.”

 With that, you walked out the door, leaving it open. He stood there trying to get a grasp on his anger not only from your outfit but for what you’d just said. This was going to be a long night, he thought as he followed you out the door.

 The drive was a quiet one, you kept your face turned to your side, gazing out at London as it passed, and you kept your legs crossed with your exposed thigh over the other. He knew it was you playing it up, rubbing your defiance in his face. He fell in love with you because of your independence, your determination to be your own woman, and make your own decision and not let any man control your life or destiny. It was a big turn on. Yes, you’d butt heads a few times in your relationship because of his and your equal stubbornness, but it was nothing that you couldn’t overcome and come back from stronger than ever.

 Fifteen minutes into the ride, his anger dissipated and left way for him to feel the regret for his words, and it also allowed your words to affect him fully. They hurt. You knew what buttons to push, and he hated it. Every time he thought to open his mouth to say something, he swallowed the words. He knew the only thing to say was that he was sorry, but he was not ready to apologize. Part of him wasn’t sorry. The dress was revealing. He knew every man there would be gawking at you and imagining you naked or worse. He also knew if he saw the looks he’d flip out. Still, he knew he couldn’t leave things this bad. When the car stopped, and the driver got out, he took his leap.

 “Y/N,” he softly began.

 “Stop. If the words out your mouth aren’t, I’m sorry, then save it, and we both know you’re not sorry.” You looked at him, and he knew you wanted him to correct you and apologize. It was then he decided to concede. Sighing, he pinched the bridge of his nose before he spoke.

 “I’m sorry.”

 You look confused and surprised, but you didn’t speak. You looked as if you were waiting for something. He should have left it there.

 “But--,” you scoffed and shook your head.

 “Apologies don’t have but, Henry,” you said as you knocked on the glass. His door opened immediately, but he didn’t move, he just stared at you.

 “Y/N,” he softly pleaded.

 “Don’t worry baby once we step out of this car we will be the perfect couple,” you said with a smile painted on your face.

That was what he was afraid of, the façade. He sighed and got out of the car, and painted his own fake smile on. It was time to play a role. As he walked around the car, he waved and smiled until he opened your door and helped you out. When you stood beside him, you smiled and waved also. The two of you walked the carpet together, waving, smiling, stopping for brief interviews all the while never giving a thing away. When you were asked about your dress and complimented by countless photographers and comrades, you politely thanked them and showed it off turning at every angle. He knew it was a huge bugger off to him.

 When you walked inside the event space, you leaned to his ear. “See, it was a hit.” Your eyes were cold. This was revenge now, he thought.

  -Y/N-

 As the night went on, what was supposed to be a gala slash networking event for the who was who in Entertainment to rub elbows, chat, brag, and get together for recognition, you decided to use to teach your fiancé a lesson. You could not believe Henry’s audacity to assume he could dictate how you dressed. You knew he was possessive and could be downright controlling sometimes, but you’d never experienced it to this extent. The dress you were wearing wasn’t even that bad. You’d seen far worse.

 As Henry mingled around the room and turned on his British charm with everyone he came across, you did the same. You knew some of the people in his circle, particularly the wives of some of his friends, and that was what you found yourself in, a circle of wives.

 “I love your dress,” Elizabeth, Armie’s wife, complimented.

 “Thank you. I love yours.”

 “You have a body to die for, I’m so jealous,” Sophie, Benedict’s wife, added.

 You smiled your thanks, trying to stave off the wave of embarrassment that washed over you. You appreciated the compliments, but from anyone but Henry, they always made you self-conscious.

 “Y/N, right?”

Looking to your left, you saw someone you knew well. “Theo?”

 His smile was wide before he pulled you in for a hug. “What’re you doing here?”

 “Work, but nevermind that. You look incredible.”

 Theo looked you up and down as you fanned him off. “Stop, it’s just a dress.”

 “A dress you look incredible in, we told her,” Elizabeth pressed.

 “Theo, this is Elizabeth and Sophie.”

 He shook their hands and exchanged pleasantries before all four of you talked about simple things like the event, and the weather. When Sophie and Elizabeth excused themselves, it left you and Theo alone.

 “Here alone, or is Henry around here somewhere?”

 “You know he’s here,” you confirmed.

 “Eh, was that a slight bit of annoyance I detect? Come to regret your decision to move here or marry him?”

 “Theo,” you warned.

 He smiled and shrugged. You’d been friends for the last four or so years but never anything else despite what your other friends liked to tease. Neither of you had ever made a move, and it suit you fine. You enjoyed his company even though he liked to tease Henry a lot. He always said he was so stuffy and could stand to loosen up a bit. You always teased him that it was a British thing knowing full well he was also British. It wasn’t funny to him when you did it, though.

 The two of you caught up and joked before a few other actors came to join you. Before long, you were enthralled in conversation with all of them. You told stories that had each and every one of them laughing and hanging on the end of every word. Though you were fully invested in the conversation, you always knew where Henry was. When you looked at him, you always found his eyes on you. He didn’t look as if he cared about anything that was being said. He looked like he wanted to be near you, he probably did, but you wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

 You moved around the room, mingling with Theo by your side. Every man that approached you had Henry looking at you. You could feel his eyes on you, could feel the sheer commanding power that he held. His presence was strong and always affected you.

 “Why is he over there looking at you as if he wished he could come over when he can? Did you have a fight?”

 “Doesn’t matter,” you said as you finished your glass of champagne.

 “What happened?”

 Ignoring Theo, you sat at the table. After a few moments, Theo realized you weren’t going to answer, so he sat beside you and asked again.

 “It’s not important. He just overreacted about my dress.”

 Theo once again looked you over, then took a sip from his glass. “Ah, the stick in the mud thought it was too revealing.”

 “Stick in the mud. Stop.”

 “He’s not entirely wrong.” Your head snapped to him and gave him an incredulous look.

 “Are you serious?”

 “Don’t shoot the messenger. It is revealing.”

 You looked over yourself then back to Theo. “Nothing is showing but a little leg.”

 “Yes. Think about it, Y/N. We get it. You’re an independent woman; you’re all about doing what you want and not having anyone control you. We get it. We love that about you. No one is debating your independence or amazingness. As a bloke, we don’t want our girlfriends ogled or even thought about inappropriately. Though gorgeous, this dress invites all of that. I’ve spotted at least fifteen gents outright checking you out.”

 Glancing around, you caught a few eyes that quickly looked away. So what, you thought.

 “Theo,” you began. He knew what was coming.

 “I get it. I’m just giving you the perspective of a man that’s not sleeping with you.”

 You sighed and nodded, deciding against speaking. What was the purpose? It was then Henry approached with a tight jaw clearing his throat.

 “Hey man,” Theo began before he stood, making way for Henry to take his place in the seat.

 “Good evening,” Henry muttered as he shook Theo’s outstretched hand. You almost laughed looking at Theo’s face.

 “Have a good night you two lovebirds,” Theo said before he walked away.

 Henry sat beside you and placed a fresh glass of champagne before you. As the two of you drank in silence, you began to think if Theo had a point. You knew the dress was sexy, but you didn’t think it was anything to get angry about. You also knew that in a relationship, you had to consider the other person’s feelings. On top of being angry about Henry’s reaction, you were also a little hurt. You’d expected him to say you looked beautiful, but he still had yet to even say it or anything remotely loving.

 “Y/N,” Henry began turning his face to meet your eyes that were already on him. He didn’t speak, though. Instead, his eyes looked to bore into you as they always did. Staring at him was a love-hate thing. You loved it because they were gorgeous, but you hated it because they were powerful and always left you feeling powerless.

 Before either of you could say anything, the lights dimmed, and a speaker appeared before the room. The rest of the night passed in a blur of speeches, applause, champagne, and chatter, none of which included you and Henry talking.

 When you got home, you were the one to climb the steps to the bedroom first. When you got to the third step, you felt Henry’s hand wrap around your wrist, stopping you. You didn’t turn around to face him, though. It wasn’t long until you felt his chest against your back.

 “I’m sorry,” he whispered before his forehead dropped to your exposed shoulder.

 “I was an utter asshole. I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to control you, I promise. There is no excuse.”

 His words hung in the air. They felt good to hear. You were tired of this entire situation.

 “I’m a jealous man, and even worse possessive and dominating. I should never have said what I did. Instead, I should have told you how incredible you looked, how beautiful you are.”

 You turned to face him and searched his eyes.

 “I should have told you that every chance I got. I’m sorry,” Henry finished.

 “I’m sorry,” you began before taking a deep breath. “I shouldn’t have said what I did. I didn’t mean it.”

 Henry smiled, pressing his forehead to yours. “Of course, you did.” You rolled your eyes but couldn’t stop your laugher. He knew you too well.

 “I deserved it. It hurt, but I deserved it.”

 “You did.”

 “Do you forgive me?”

 You pretended as if you had to think about it on a serious note playing up the amount of time it was taking. Henry smiled but didn’t look bothered, he kissed your jaw and trailed kisses along it up to your ear. You ate it up. When his lips dropped to your neck, you let out a soft moan.

 “Am I forgiven, love?” A soft nibble at your neck had you grabbing at his waist that held zero percent fat. The man was built like a God.

 “I forgive you.”

 As soon as the words were out, Henry crushed his lips to yours, taking control of a soul-sucking kiss. You’d wanted this all night no matter how angry you were with him you always wanted to be near him. Henry wrapped his arm around you cupping your backside, pulling you flush against him. As his lips teasingly moved across yours, his tongue swirled around yours until he was sucking it. You couldn’t breathe, but you didn’t mind or care.

 Abruptly henry pulled his lips from yours and groaned. “I’ll lock up. You go ahead.”

 Once inside your bedroom, you walked into the closet to find something to put on once you’d finished your shower. You didn’t hear when Henry walked in, but you felt his hand at the nape of your neck.

“I have a love-hate relationship with this dress, my love. On the one hand, you look incredible in it, but on the other hand—it infuriates me.”

 You smirked, looking at him in the mirror, making sure he saw that you didn’t care.

 “What’re you going to do about it?” His smirk sly, and his eyes were dark. You knew the look well.

 In seconds Henry had ripped your dress in half starting at your sternum. You gasped loudly.

 “Henry! Do you know how much this cost?” He didn’t stop, though; he finished his handiwork with a faint smile.

 “I don’t give a shit. It should be burned instead of ripped.” The material fell from your breasts before it slid down the rest of your body, leaving you in your skimpy thong.

 “Huh, so you were wearing knickers after all,” Henry teased before he locked eyes with you and ripped those as well.

 “Henry!”

 “You love saying my name, don’t you?” He bit your neck as his hands cupped your breasts and fondled to his heart’s content.

 As he sucked and bit your neck, you could feel his thick length harden against your ass. He pushed you forcefully, so you were bent over the piece of furniture that held your undergarments. The movement sent your ass poking out for him. A lite slap across your ass had you flinging your head back to give his free hand something to hold onto. As he held your thick, coiled hair, he dropped another slap across your ass; only this one was a lot harder. Your groan was mixed with a moan that told him you liked it enough for him to do it again--so he did, three more times. By the time he’d finished, you were soaking and more than ready to receive the gift that was him.

 “Do you want it?” Your eyes met again in the mirror, and you thought to be defiant, but there was no time. You desperately wanted to feel him filling you, stretching you to capacity.

 “I can’t hear you, love.” Henry dropped his fingers to slide up along your slit. As he did, he groaned. You knew he could feel your wetness, and he was more than ready to dive in.

 “You’re only punishing yourself, darling. The sooner you say the words, the sooner you’ll get what you want—what you crave,” Henry whispered in your ear, making sure his lips grazed your ear.

“And what do I crave, Mr. Cavill?” Again, he smirked that dubious smirk of his that made your belly flip from anticipation.

 “You and I both know you want this cock filling you to the hilt. All you have to do is--,” Henry circled his finger at your opening, coating his finger with your juices before bringing his finger to his lips to suck it clean, stealing your breath in the process.

 “Mmm. Say the words, my love.” His voice was so deep, so husky you could feel everything he felt. You knew he needed you just as badly as you needed him. Still, your stubbornness persisted. You were testing him, knowing damn well the longer you defied him, the further your eyes would roll to the back of your head. He knew what you were doing, but you also knew he was holding on by a thread. It was obvious.

 “Y/N,” Henry warned through clenched teeth. Your smile was the fuel to make his fire rage. Henry’s hand tightened in your hair, bringing your head back a little more. “It’ll only be worse for you.” You could hear him undo the zipper of his pants, and your anxiousness got the better of you. You pushed back onto him brushing your bare ass against him. Henry groaned then slapped it again. A few seconds later, you felt him rub the tip of his need across your sex. Your eyes lulled closed as a shiver erupted through you.

 “Do—you—want—me?” Every pause had him dipping just a sliver of his length into your tight cavern. He knew it wouldn’t be enough. On the fourth dip, you tried to push back against him again so you could get what you wanted, but he must have been expecting it because you failed.

 “Say the words, and it’s all yours, love. I’ll give you every single inch that you can take—and not take.” As if to help you decide, he dipped a little more into you, pulling a gasp from you.

 “I want it,” you whispered.

 “One more time.” Henry came closer to your upturned face and waited for you to repeat the words. The look in his eye said he was enjoying this more than he should have been from how hard he felt against you.

 “I want it—fuck me, Henry!”

 When he smiled, you knew you were in for it. Henry snapped his hips forward seconds after the words left your lips, filling you completely. Your shout was loud as your hand pounded the furniture.

 Henry groaned loudly as he ground his hips, sending his cock to nudge against your walls and prod your cervix.

 “Bloody Hell!”

 As if poked with a stick, Henry began his thrusts, but from the beginning, nothing in the way he moved said slow, or gentle. He had a mission, and teaching you a lesson was absolutely a priority right now. Every time he slammed into you, his grip in your hair would tighten, and your sex would quiver, giving him a tighter than a glove squeeze, which had him getting even louder.

 “Uuugh! Christ, you’re so wet.” That was when he changed his angle. Instead of spearing forward, he added a curve as he leaned back just a little.

 “Shiiiit!” He knew that was the spot for you, and he looked like he had every intention of making sure your voice was gone the next day.

 “How does it feel, love?”

 “So fucking good. Yes, yes, right there!” Again, your hand pounded into the wood. You ignored the pain in your hand; the pleasure easily overpowered it.

 You didn’t know how much longer you could hold on if he kept giving you strokes like this, you thought. As you did, Henry sped his strokes, and every time he connected your bodies, he rotated his hips. Before you knew it, your eyes were in the back of your head, your hand grabbing the edge of the wood as you screamed and claimed your release. Henry’s grunts got louder and louder; he was close. The knowledge of that had you throwing your ass back to meet him thrust for thrust while bringing yourself to yet another orgasm.

 After a few minutes, you felt the force of his release as he tried to bury himself even deeper inside of you.

 “Fuuuuck!” The sound of Henry’s near animalistic grunt had you ready for round two already.

 “Oh baby,” Henry panted as he dropped across your sweat slickened back.

 “Mmm, you’re going to be the death of me,” Henry added as he tried to catch his breath, breath that you still had yet to catch.

 “Me?”

 You could feel the rumble of his laughter across your back before he kissed a path along your spine. When he got to your ear, he kisses it. “I put that ring on your finger for a reason. You’re my world, and the love I have for you has never been written, it is that of a man’s for his queen. You have my heart. You have my soul—I love you, Y/N,” he whispered.

 Your heart swelled, making you look back at him to see a stray tear welling in his eye.

 “Aw, baby. I love you; you’re my life, my king, my everything,” you said as you turned to him to clasp his chin in your hands. Once the words were out, you kissed him tenderly so he could feel your love. He could be a dominating wolf one minute, but you knew deep down he was a big softy.

 His massive arms held you to him in a tight loving embrace that erased all memory of any slights or anger.

 “I’ll give you till the count of ten to get your gorgeous ass in that shower, my queen,” Henry said.

 You knew not to test him again, but still, you did. “Only ten? I guess I better hurry.” You pulled from him and slowly walked out of the walk-in closet. You could hear Henry chuckling behind you.

 “The wolf is ravenous Y/N. I think it not wise to tempt him further,” Henry warned, creeping up behind you to nip your shoulder.

 Screaming and squealing, you ran from him because every wolf loved the chase.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[gogoseijoh]

losing: pt. 3 - kageyama x reader x tsukishima

summary: you have to sit down and have a tough conversations with your boys.

genre: angst

word count: 2k

a/n: sorry this took so longggg. can you guys tell me if this is still interesting? the reason it took so long is because i got kinda self conscious about my writing, so please please please leave some feedback! i want people to enjoy reading what i write, so if there’s anything you want to see from this series! it’s probably only going to have one or two more parts after this, unless people really wanna see more :)

part 2, part 4

You didn’t know if you could take any more of the awkward silence. You were sitting on your bedroom floor, arms crossed and eyes glancing over the two teenagers in front of you expectantly. They were both staring at the ground, Tsukishima pulling at the fluff of your carpet and Kageyama playing with the hem of his sweatpants. They had been quiet for at least five minutes, having no words for you after you asked them what on Earth was going on with them. They looked like children who had been heavily scolded, eyes glazed over with a forced look of innocence in order to try and lessen how furiously you would go at them when they eventually told you the truth. Your stare was like Medusa’s, turning them into stone where they sat and keeping them from opening their mouths to speak. Neither of them had ever been so scared of you. There was no reason for them to be, really. You were just worried about them.

It took another five minutes of silence before you realized your mistake. The two of them were never going to speak up in front of each other. Both of them put up steely fronts, though through different ways, and their gentlest sides were reserved for you. You loved that about the two of them, that they were not easy to win over. It made you feel so incredibly special to know that these two young men who were so quick to isolate themselves found comfort in you, but it was a double-edged sword. There was no chance you would get anything out of them until you were alone with each of them. You turned to your brunette best friend, eyes softening slightly at how worried he looked. “Tobio,” your voice broke his concentration on counting the stitches on his pants, and he looked up at you, “Go home. I’ll come over tonight, I just want to talk to Kei by himself first, okay?” Kageyama let out a hefty sigh, nodding his head and silently standing to move towards the door. He took one last look at you on the floor, not missing how his absence was letting you scoot closer to the blonde, and his heart sank. A voice in the back in his brain was telling him not to leave, to stay and hear what Tsukishima was going to say and make sure it was the truth, but was that worth upsetting you more? He wanted to be selfish, but he couldn’t do that to you. Kageyama felt the distance between you two growing with each step he took, and he only hoped you wouldn’t let it stay that way, or worse, let it widen even more.

Tsukishima visibly relaxed when Kageyama left the room, his hand finding yours when you moved closer. The situation caused his eyebrows to draw together, concern etched on his sharp features. The idea of losing the girl he liked before he even had her was making him anxious, and he couldn’t even blame it on Kageyama. If he lost you, he didn’t think that he’d ever be someone’s first choice again. That’s part of the reason he found himself so annoyed when Kageyama approached him. You had been friends with him your whole life, so what were you doing with him? It may be naive of him to think that two friends can’t only be that, but to him, it was only natural that two people who have spent so much of their lives together would develop feelings for each other. Kageyama clearly felt something strong for you, so where did your feelings stop? Was he really not the first choice at all, but a consolation prize for you when you thought that Kageyama was out of your reach? He didn’t want to believe that, not when you were so kind. It was impossible. Tsukishima’s thoughts ran rampant until you moved again, your hand coming to hold his cheek. 

“Kei, are you alright?”

God, even your voice was sweet. Tsukishima nodded, “Yes, I’m fine.” You could practically see the thoughts bouncing around his skull, but you were interrupted by him before you could ask once again for reassurance that he was okay. Tsukishima’s voice was the thinnest you had ever heard it, and the two words that passed his lips shocked you, “I... I’m sorry.” Your heart could’ve stopped right there. Those weren’t words he used often in sincerity, but he was saying them to you. You weren’t even sure why he was saying.

“What for?”

It was a genuine question, Tsukki thought. The most you had seen of his tussle with Kageyama was the threat the setter was about to make, and the intensity both of them were filled with. Tsukishima took a breath to gather his thoughts, then began speaking, “I have been trying to figure out for myself what you see in me and why you’ve chosen me when you have so many other options. You’re the opposite of me. I have my reasons for how I act, and I’m sure you do, too. I’m just surprised. That’s part of what we were arguing about in the club room.” This was bluntness you had been waiting for, and you had suspected he was keeping it from you to not hurt you, but you were glad he was speaking freely now. The rolling of his eyes and a huff broke your train of thought, focusing back on his words, “I know Kageyama is your best friend, (y/n). I don’t want to take that away from you, but I just... I don’t know how I can get along with him.” There was venom seeping into his tone now, which was familiar, but it wasn’t one he had used when talking to you before, “Are you going to wake up one day and realize you made a mistake choosing me?” This was the first time you had ever seen this side of him. You hadn’t expected him to be so insecure, not that anything was wrong with that, but it was jarring. Tsukki’s walls were breaking down in your bedroom, and your heart was swelling. He came off so aloof in his everyday life, and for the most part, he truly was, but how many people knew what was behind that facade? It became so clear to you all of a sudden. It was jealousy, hot and bubbling under the surface of his cool demeanor. The surprise on your face must’ve spurred something in him, because he spoke up again, “You have to know how he feels about you, (y/n), no one is that oblivious.”

“I know,” you muttered, wringing your hands as Tsukishima took his turn to revel in shock, “Maybe there was a time I had feelings for him, but I don’t anymore. I know what I feel for you now, though. I like you, Tsukki.” You had moved closer and closer to him on the floor throughout the conversation, and now you were on your knees, reaching out to wrap your arms around his neck. He welcomed your affection, his own arms taking their place around your waist. You stayed like that for a few minutes, just taking it in. 

You pressed a kiss to his cheek, and you could feel the rumble of his chest as you pulled away, “Would you... Would you be my girlfriend?” Tsukishima was disgusted by the uncertainty in his own voice, but when he heard you say yes, it was worth it. You wrapped him back in your arms, happy with the outcome of this conversations, but knowing that it would make the conversation you had with Kageyama later even more difficult. You enjoyed yourself for the next few hours though, relaxing with your new boyfriend as he returned to being his sarcastic and teasing but kind (at least to you) self. It felt easy with him, even as your thoughts wrestled with each other, trying to figure out what you would say to Kageyama when he inevitably asked about you and Tsukishima.

Later, you were sat on Kageyama’s couch, awkwardly exchanging anxious glances with him. You had told him that he could start talking when he was ready, and he sure was taking his sweet time. You didn’t want to push him though, so you let the silence be until he eventually cleared his throat and began to tell you what was on his mind, “You know how much I care about you, right?” You nodded, and a relieved sigh left his lips, and he continued, “It hasn’t been easy, seeing you with him. I feel like I’m getting left behind. You’ve been my best friend for my entire life, and I don’t plan on letting you go, no matter who you date.” Kageyama felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest with how you were looking at him, “It felt like he was just talking to you to mess with me, but I know that’s stupid. You are so awesome. Of course he likes you.” He wished he could keep his train of thought straight, but new things kept popping into his mind. “Why are we friends, (y/n)? I mean, we’re so different, are we just friends because we’ve been told we have to be?”

You felt tears building in your eyes at that, your emotions worn thin from all the serious conversations you’d been having lately, “Is that what you think? That I’m being forced to be your friend?” You paused, sniffling as quietly as you could, “Yeah, you’re an asshole sometimes. You get so snappy for no reason and treat other people like they’re beneath you every now and then. But I have stayed by your side always. I have defended you to everyone who has ever said something bad about you in front of me, because I truly believe that you are a genuinely good person who is super ambitious and doesn’t know how to talk to people. I still love you, though. We have been with each other through everything. Why would I stick around if I didn’t want to be your friend, Tobio? I don’t care about your flaws, because I know who you really are.” 

Kageyama could only stare at you with a dropped jaw, eyes roaming your face in search of any ounce of insincerity, but there was absolutely none to be found. His hand came to your shoulder trying to calm you with minute physical affection, “Okay, I trust you, (y/n). I’m sorry. I know you care about me, sometimes I just get worried that you’re going to realize how much better you deserve from a best friend.” 

“I don’t want better or whatever, Tobio, I just want you to stay my best friend,” you leaned into his touch, and your mind made the connection of how truly similar your two boys were. It was comforting in a way, knowing that even if they put up a good front on the outside and act like there is nothing they have in common, they both have the same insecurities at their cores.

You spent the night like you did before Tsukishima entered the picture, lounging on the couch with a movie on, even though you talked through most of it. You realized he was right, that you had been neglecting him as your infatuation with Tsukki grew. It was a night just for the two of you, something to make it feel normal again. It was difficult for Kageyama, trying to ignore how you checked your phone more than before and how more of your conversation focused around things you had done with or talked to Tsukishima about. His heart felt like it was breaking when he turned to you to ask you a question, “Uh, Tsukishima told me that he was going to ask you to be his girlfriend. Did... Did he ask?”

“Yeah, he did,” you tried to focus on the screen ahead of you and not look back at him, so that you wouldn’t see the sadness in his eyes, but you turned when he asked another question. 

“Did you say yes?

“I did, Tobio.”

Your words sat heavy in the air between you. Kageyama nodded, trying his best to look happy for you, and he should be happy if you’re happy, right? You had just confirmed that you weren’t going to leave him behind no matter what, so why did he still feel so broken inside?

---

taglist: @hearteyesfortobio​ , @hisokasmaid​  , @kiritokunuwu​ , @killkurzyackerman 

[cotncandyboifics]

1989 [High School AU]: Chapter 8

AO3 Link

Masterpost

Chapter 1 ~ Chapter 2 ~ Chapter 3 ~ Chapter 4 ~ Chapter 5 ~ Chapter 6 ~ Chapter 7 ~ Chapter 9 ~

Pairings: slight Logince, eventual Prinxiety & Logicality

Word count: 2,407

Story summary: Roman Prince is your stereotypical Jock, with everyone swooning after him. Every day a crowd of people follow him around, only to disperse at his personal whim. In reality, he's lucky to have such good acting skills that help him cover up the disdain he has for his life. He only wishes he could use his skills properly.

Patton Whitelock's always there to lend a helping hand, no matter who you are. If you need a favor or just need someone to talk to, go to him. In reality, he's been taught from a young age that kindness should be held above all else. No one suspects that he took it the wrong way.

Logan Montgomery is the smartest boy in the Senior class. He's stern, and most people are too intimidated to speak to him. In reality, he despises most all of his fellow students. He sticks to his studies and doesn't stray, for fear of being stuck in his father's shadow his whole life.

Virgil Black is the most emo kid in school, let alone 12th grade; everyone knows to leave him be. In reality, he's very fortunate. He has two parents who love him dearly. But everything beyond his life, everything within his mind, is utter chaos and turmoil.

what will happen when they're assigned a biology project together?

General CW: food, swearing, implied s-lf h-rm, non-graphic descriptions of s-lf h-rm scars, graphic and non-graphic descriptions of anxiety attacks and panic attacks, drug abuse, minor character intoxicated on heroin, non-graphic drug overdose description, sickness/description of sickness, blood, non-graphic descriptions of needles, (will be added to as I write more)

Chapter CW: food, (let me know if i missed anything please!)

Author notes: alternate title: Virgil's very subtle epiphany. also Patton has a gay panic moment lol

...

Slam.

Monday morning. Mr. Berry was slapping a small poster on each student's desk like a stamp, one-by-one and painfully slowly.

"This," he began, "Is the official welcome to the schoolyear; audition posters for the Fall Talent Show." His bloated belly hardly fit between the desk rows, and students made futile attempts to scoot away from him before they were bombarded by his tyrannical tummy. "As a retired thespian and a life long supporter of theatre and the arts," he continued, bringing his pile of posters to his chest in his passion, "I highly recommend you at least consider looking into auditions. Everyone has a passion, or at least a hobby, and the talent show is a perfect freelance opportunity to show off your skills."

Roman rolled his eyes too dramatically. This was upsetting him more than he thought it would, and his eyes shot daggers up at his large superior as he slammed the next poster onto Roman's desk.

"Auditions will be held next week, on the specified dates. The show itself will be two weeks later, I believe on Friday night. Be there, and I will award you some extra credit points. All you must do is present me with your ticket, which must have your name on it," he eyed a few mischievous students in the room, "With a stamp on it from the Talent Show admissions booth, on the following Monday." As soon as Mr. Berry had given a poster to Virgil and moved on, Virgil quietly crumpled it and shoved it into a random part of his backpack, proceeding to fold his arms on his desk and put his head down. This caught Roman's attention, and his subconscious latched onto formulating a teasing remark for after class as a distraction from his own feelings about the Talent Show.

After class, the usual place where Roman and Virgil were shortly alone and had a short interaction - most often consisting of some insufferable tease from Roman or occasionally a debate spurred by Virgil making a witty side comment - the two met once again. After their first class of the day was usually the only time they were both at their lockers at the same time, as it happened, and Virgil was always thankful that it was the only time. Since their assignment to the Biology project, however, Roman had taken to walking with Virgil from their English class to their lockers and beginning his bouts of banter prematurely.

"Not a fan of the infamous talent show, are we?" Roman paced quickly over to Virgil, who had just made it outside the classroom door as they'd been dismissed. Virgil huffed in defeat as his attempt to escape before Roman could catch him had been fruitless.

"It's ridiculous," Virgil didn't slow his pace for Roman, and began essentially speedwalking down the hall. Roman was slightly taller than him and was able to keep up, but still got a little out of breath doing it. "Hey everyone, come and show everyone in the school something you really enjoy so they can all collectively judge you and make you self conscious about your interests and - oh no! you don't wanna do it anymore because you feel horribly inadequate? shoooot. Sorry man, no one could have seen that coming. Oh well, better luck next year when you'll just ruin a different passion for yourself!" Virgil flailed his hands at the end of his mini-rant.

"How can you stay that sarcastic for that long consecutively? I'm honestly impressed," Roman said, huffing as they arrived at their lockers. Virgil's permanent frown seemed to somehow deepen. "Though, I guess I really can't argue, Count Woe-laf. I see your point. The pressures of an impromptu performance are... undeniable." Roman focused his attention on the padlock hanging from the latch of his locker, while Virgil looked to him with widened eyes.

"Really?" He didn't look away from Roman until he would look back.

"What?" Roman defended.

"It's just..." Virgil focused on his own padlock now, "You never agree with what I say. It always becomes a debate," he pulled his locker open lazily, pulling his backpack off his shoulders and putting it on backwards so that he could more easily exchange things. When Roman didn't reply, he continued, "like... I don't know. Why is it any different now?"

Roman was exchanging things as well, and didn't have an immediate answer. Well, he knew the answer (or in this case, answers), but it wasn't one he was even ready to admit to himself, let alone anyone else, and especially let alone Virgil. He just eventually shrugged.

This reaction only further alarmed Virgil. He opened his mouth to continue his flabbergasted interrogation, but the bell rang right at that moment. Roman slammed his locker shut suddenly.

"Well, that's our queue I suppose. See you tonight, Incredible Sulk." Roman elbowed Virgil in the shoulder a bit awkwardly and began skipping down the hall to his next class. That left a dumbfounded and nearly-panicking Virgil standing in front of his open locker in an almost completely empty hall.

He wished Roman would stop leaving him like that.

...

Roman had texted the Biology Project group chat that weekend, saying he had an important football practice on Monday that went until 5. they'd have to have their meet-up at Roman's a bit later in the evening. Logan simply waited it out by heading to the school library to get his other homework done, while Patton and Virgil shot the breeze, walking down random hallways of the school.

The two of them were grabbing a snack from a vending machine when Virgil checked his phone. It was 4:50. They got their respective snacks - Patton got a strawberry Pop tart and Virgil got a Sunny D - and made their way to the designated meeting place. It was a concrete bench at the front of the school. They expected to find Logan there, but he wasn't. The two of them simply sat on the cold bench and exchanged bits of each other's snacks, and continued talking until Virgil noticed someone approaching.

He figured it would be Logan, but this person was shorter and more filled out than Logan. He trained his eyes better and realized that it was Roman. Roman, who happened to have a towel around his neck and sopping-wet crimson curly hair unabashedly on display. A drip of water rolled down his cheek and along his jawline, and Virgil realized he was staring. Roman finally got within conversation distance.

"Like what you see, Charlie Frown?" He teased. Patton looked to Virgil, noticing his awe, and giggled.

"Hah, in your dreams, Meta Knight," Virgil deflected half-heartedly, still finding it hard to pull his eyes away from Roman's unfortunate perfection. It was only worse that Roman knew just how attractive he was.

"Why's your hair all wet, silly?" Patton asked, standing energetically to greet him.

"We rinse off after practice. I considered leaving my shirt off so i could just get a clean one when i got home, but i knew that might be a bit too much to handle for some of us," Roman elbow-nudged Patton, who just giggled again and pushed his glasses up. Virgil knew that was extremely forced, especially after their conversation on Friday.

"Well," Roman checked his wristwatch, "Where would my nerdy Wolverine happen to be? It's ten past, and if there's anything Logan certainly is, it's punctual."

"Quite right you are," a stern voice came from behind them, to reveal Logan's lengthy form approaching casually. "My apologies for my tardiness. I got quite engaged in a particular Physics problem." Roman turned to him smiling, and pecked him on the cheek. Virgil didn't need to look at Patton to feel his friend's heart sink through the floor.

"Shall we then?" Roman turned to lead the way on the five-block journey to his house.

...

"hmm, that reminds me," Roman said from his sprawled position on his bed, "what are all your sexualities?"

That sure caught everyone's attention. The clock beside Roman's bed read 6:28 PM. Logan was studying their plants and taking notes, Patton had been cooing quietly to Roman's pet turtle, and Virgil was sitting in Roman's spinning desk chair scrolling on his phone. They all looked at Roman at once, and then at each other.

"Heh," Roman sat up, "My apologies for blurting such an intrusive question, I was just looking up at my-" he gestured toward his ceiling- "glorious flag, and it made me wonder. No man must answer that which he does not desire to." Roman was blatantly referring to the Bisexual flag that was pinned to the ceiling above his bed. They all looked at it, and back at him. "I suppose it's obvious now, but yes, I am undeniably bisexual," He faux bowed.

The silence wasn't doing anyone good, so Patton broke it before it got too much more awkward. "I, I'm gay," he said sheepishly, continuing to observe the turtle. Virgil gave him a soft smile, and decided to offer himself up next.

"I'm pan," he seemed to recoil further into his hoodie, if that were even possible. Logan turned to the other three, adjusting his necktie.

"I'm not usually one to admit this to many people, but since you have all been so transparent and calm about such personal information," He started, "I am comfortable telling you that I am Asexual."

No one regarded this with much surprise, except for Roman. "Oh really?" He said, seemingly surprised and embarrassed. Virgil scoff-laughed at him.

"What, upset you can't make your sexual fantasies a reality?" Virgil teased. Roman gasped, bringing a hand to his chest in an offended gesture.

"Excuse me!" He exclaimed, a look of disgust contorting his face.

Before a classic Roman-Virgil debate could ensue, Patton decided to share his thoughts.

"Well, I, I mean, I'm not ace but I, I guess sex isn't really so important to me," he was fiddling with his ring yet again.

"W-well, it should never be the centerpiece of any relationship!" Roman declared. They all looked at him skeptically. "what? I mean, personally, I prefer grand gestures." As he spoke, he stood and walked to Logan. "In my opinion," he produced a pristine bouquet of deep red roses that none of the others had noticed anywhere in the room before, "they are the key to any person's heart."

Logan seemed tame, Patton thought. As if he were performing. If he were being his normal self, he would have been very confused by where Roman had hidden the bouquet, and how it looked so perfect after being concealed. Instead, he just took it with a very gentle sweet smile, and thanked him quietly. Instead of Logan, Patton was now the one confused.

Virgil's face was red, and his neck a blotchy pink; thankfully he was mostly hidden under his purple bangs and hood. He huffed and excused himself to use the restroom. Patton noticed this time, and grabbed his arm before he made it out of the room.

"You okay?" he whispered gently to Virgil. Virgil just looked at him, mustered a small smile and a nod. Patton knew exactly what that meant. Virgil was okay, he just needed a moment. He returned the smile, and released his gentle paternal grip on Virgil's arm, allowing him to leave.

There was the sound of someone calling Roman's name from another part of the house, and Roman excused himself, rushing off to find its source.

Logan slipped his phone into the pocket of his navy slacks. "Well, I must be going now," He began. Instead of reaching to gather his things, he trained his acute attention directly on Patton, who was startled by the sudden focus on him. "Patton, do you have a ride home today?"

"I, uh, well," He tried blurting out an excuse but none came to his mind. "No, not exactly..."

Logan was slowly approaching, and Patton tried to back up but hit the terrarium containing Roman's turtle after just one small step. "Would you like a ride? My parents would be more than happy to assist in your safe transport home."

"Well, well I really don't want to intrude, or-" He stopped dead when Logan placed a slender hand gently on his shoulder.

"I insist. It's no intrusion or burden to them. They appreciate being able to help others when they can, especially people whose company I enjoy." Logan didn't feel as though he was figuratively lying through his teeth, but he knew that his parents didn't exactly feel that way. The nature of the situation was more that they took kindly to those that Logan worked well with on academically related subjects, such as people from his study group or the like.

Patton caught himself before letting the thought "you enjoy my company?" escape his lips. He just smiled. He knew there was no way he could get himself to deny Logan's offer when his heart was taking the reins.

"I would.. really appreciate, a ride home, yeah," He said quietly. Logan was just looking into his eyes with a tenderness Patton hadn't seen before. He pushed away any thoughts that Logan may have looked at Roman the exact same way during their date. He hoped he hadn't, and cursed himself for hoping it.

"Wonderful," Logan pulled himself out of their shared momentary trance. "I will let them know. I'm sure they will find it a pleasure to become acquainted with you. They should be here in less than five minutes, so I suggest gathering your belongings." Logan's thumbs padded across is illuminated phone screen as he spoke, until he once again slid it into his pocket and began collecting his things along with Patton.

Virgil entered once again, hood off and face slightly red and wet. it was clear that he hadn't been crying due to the sporadic nature of the droplets of water across his face; it looked more like he'd just haphazardly washed his face in the sink and hadn't bothered to wipe the remnants away. Patton smiled at him brightly.

"Ah, Virgil," Logan addressed as he slung his bag over his shoulder, "It was pleasant to see you again. We are on our way out now. Are you ready, Patton?" He looked to Patton, who also slung his bag over his shoulder.

"Yep! Logan's giving me a ride," Patton blatantly could barely contain his excitement in his ever-growing grin, so Virgil only returned it with a small thumbs up.

"Alright, ill see you guys in class tomorrow," He hugged Patton tightly, and half-heartedly saluted to Logan without making eye contact. Logan simply nodded to him, and the two left shortly, leaving Virgil alone in Roman's room.