#and do I need to say how much I hate their only interaction

[aishabellasbigblogofeverything]

LITERALLY like I was actually inspired by this post to write this:

And like this must be a troll post by a non-Black person but assuming it’s not and it IS serious…what kind of self-loathing is this? How much disdain do you have to have for yourself in your heart to write out this disturbing shit and have anyone take you seriously? Like do you not realize that you’re giving non-Black women an ego boost by being this pathetic? Those girlies are gonna see this post and be relieved that Black girls think this way and are AGREEING with the rhetoric that we are lesser in some way, because it makes them feel better at our expense to think that we are weak and this filled with self-hatred that we will let everyone else treat us like shit and walk all over us, like stand up girly it’s getting pathetic atp lol. One Black girl in the comments even agreed with the “Black girls are less desirable/feminine” rhetoric and a non-Black girl replied “well why don’t Black girls try skin lightning cream?” you guys are literally feeding their hatred and demoralizing view of Black women as ugly and worthless and repulsive and it’s so monstrous tf like y’all seriously don’t realize what you’re doing not just to yourself but to others who look just like you as well, your sisters in arms in the community, like how dare y’all. Like you’re damn right that Black women have a different type of hair than anyone else on the planet but it is because our hair is versatile and defies gravity, it is soft and fluffy and elegant and cute, it is luxurious and voluminous and beautiful. We have the most genetic diversity of any other race on earth. Trying to spin that into something self-hating is just preposterous, I can’t believe it. But then again, anything to feed into the “Black girls are the least desired” complex. Istg some women just cannot be saved.

I agree that we need to continue building up confidence in Black women and girls and show them to take pride in their own beauty and that we can be attractive and feminine and look to each other as role models for love and strength and not try to envy/imitate white/Asian women’s lead, as if they have a monopoly on beauty norms/femininity just because a couple of Reddit nerds say so, or because of societal stereotypes that white women are the epitome of femininity and Asian women are soft, obedient, and meek, which hurts Asian women as well mind you. The men who say this shit are closet pedophiles(seeing as they all say they love Asian women for “looking like little girls” and reject Asian women who don’t fit their loli porn standard) and misogynists who think that femininity is all about being weak, submissive, and sucking a man’s dick.

There are so many communities out there for Black girls to embrace their beauty and femininity, Black girl channels for natural hair regimens and cute hairstyles, Black girls doing makeup on dark skin tones, Black girls wearing cute fashion styles like cottagecore and Lolita and coquette as well as gnc/masc styles if you have that type of swag, Black girls who do cosplay and look fine as hell while doing it, Black girls who draw adorable Black anime characters, etc., like I understand that society often treats us as lesser and like we can only fit into one stereotypical/undesirable box, but the second you step out of there and find what you are into I PROMISE it is out there you just have to find it! Don’t let your race limit you from loving yourself or expressing yourself how you want to, you don’t have to abide by some arbitrary racist beauty norms set by some white incel Reddit dude whose only interaction with Black women is reality tv, degrading online memes, and ebony porn. Add whose only interaction with Asian women is pedo loli hentai and mainstream shonen anime.

I guess the point of all this is to find Black women to admire and see yourself in because that will make you feel better about yourself and feel confident that you are enough and love being a Black woman, rather than crying that you’ll never be as beautiful/cute/girly as a white or Asian woman when we all know that’s not true, Black girls are gorgeous and poppin’ and look good in every style! I wish we could talk about the issues facing us without succumbing to this idea that we’re inherently lesser and unattractive and Blackness is inherently a curse that’s holding us back because it’s just sad and miserable and desperate behavior atp, you’ll always be Black until the day you die so just live with it and learn to accept it.

The Black femininity community very much often does prey on these insecure types with how it often tells Black women that we are inherently unfeminine unless we dive full hog into (white tradwife) hyperfemininity and always look like a perfectly made-up Barbie princess 24/7 and that any sign of Blackness like natural hair/acrylics/AAVE is unfeminine/unattractive, not to mention the intense heteronormativity of it all and how it is often rooted completely in appealing to heterosexual men and often blames Black women for our own masculinization, telling us that the only way for us to be feminine is to be more passive and compliant and “let a man lead” but even so there are still plenty of healthy Black hyperfeminine spaces that aren’t a one-size fits all and are queer-inclusive that I really just wish more Black girls who felt insecure about not being able to do that type of stuff went there instead…or realized that you don’t have to be hyperfeminine to be beautiful and that you can just be who you are and be whoever you want to be and be happy but…idk lol.

This was such a long and unhinged rant and I’m sorry if this wasn’t at all coherent and didn’t address all of your points but you’re right, this attitude always just drags Black girls back and makes us look bad, if you spend all your time on the “I fantasize about raping women and also believe in 14 words” website then of course you’re going to feel miserable, hopeless, and insecure, you need to learn to log off sometimes lol idk. Find spaces that are built for you and support you and stop worrying about what the rest of the world thinks of you and especially whether or not non-Black men are attracted to you and just do your own thing, they only hate you because they see your spark and beauty and try to tear you down, take it as a compliment because they’re just jealous lol. I hope this helps some Black girl out there somewhere who feels bad about herself but yeah, we are beautiful and amazing and awesome and we don’t need the rest of the world to tell us who we are! Period! Tf? 💅🏿

I’m begging Black girls and especially younger Black girls to please stop going on the Internet and complaining about being the least attractive/feminine/desirable and how guys don’t want you and how much you hate being a Black girl and wish you were another race(usually white/East Asian is what I see) so that you could be seen as beautiful/get the guy you want/not hate yourself every time you look into a mirror. Please. Stop doing that shit. I understand the soul-crushing way that Black girls are treated in society, and how insistent the world and people in general are in stripping us of our femininity and beauty and trying to gaslight us into believing that we’re ugly, and because of that it is so so easy to fall prey to the “we’re the ugliest of women and no one will ever love us” mentality. But when you make posts like these, talking down on yourself for being Black and expressing envy towards non-Black women, you are not only shitting on every Black woman out there who looks like you, you’re also giving non-Black girls an ego boost and letting them believe that they really are more attractive and valuable than us and that we’re “the ugly ones” because Black girls themselves are saying it and self-deprecating themselves.

I’m begging you to please stop going on these intensely anti-Black and misogynistic hate sites dedicated to hating on/tearing down women and venting about how being a Black girl is such a curse and a terrible burden and how you’ll never be as beautiful as a white/Asian woman because you have dark skin and coily hair. All you’re doing is putting yourself in harm’s way and validating the way people already think about us while shitting on your fellow Black sisters by painting us all with the “undesirable/ugly” brush. I understand that the rest of the world constantly tells us that we’re ugly/unlovable and less womanly than the rest of the groups. I understand feeling anger, confusion, and frustration at how were treated by people who are supposed to care about us and protect us. I understand feeding into it. But please don’t. Especially not on sites that prey on women’s insecurities and are filled to the brim with people who hate Black women with a seething passion. They’re only going to tell you that you’re right, not comfort you and make you feel better, you can’t rely on these sites for validation. Please talk to your friends and family or a therapist if you feel insecure about your race, and either follow Black female content creators who uplift Black women/girls or get off of social media for the betterment of your own mental health. Please. I’m begging you. 🙏🏿

[tvseries-writings]

Hiiii I loved all of your wandanat fics and was wondering if you could possibly do a agathario where the reader has a panic attack please!?

The Road is cursed

Agathario x reader

TW: past suicidal attempt, Death, panic attack, nightmares.

You knew the Witches Road would be hard, you knew it since your wife, whom you had not seen since the death of your child, had come knocking on your door with a strange teenager and three other witches you did not know.

You knew, of course you knew, the road had always been known as a suicide for all witches but you accepted anyway; maybe because of those violet and gray eyes you love so much despite everything, despite the death of Nicky, of your Nicky

"Y/n...y/n, wake up!"

You jerk awake, sweat running down your back causing the blouse you are wearing to stick to you. The cold face of Nicky, your baby, has been haunting you for two centuries, and you know you are not the only one to have nightmares about it.

Agatha's hands run down your back, over your face, through your hair...Her lips move but you cannot actively focus on what she is saying. Rio is just behind her; she has always been good at hiding her feelings but you can still see the concern in the deep lakes of her eyes.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. It was just a nightmare...just a nightmare"

You pull away from her touch and their worried glances. Your heart is pounding wildly in your chest, your hands are shaking, and your breathing is only quickening.

"You should breathe" Rio says, moving away from the tree he was leaning against and stopping twirling the knife blade against his own index finger.

"You're not helping, Rio"

Agatha whispers angrily as she leans toward you, trying to get closer but pulling away as soon as she tries.

"Y/n, honey, you need to breathe okay?" "That's what I just said"

Rio says, her smirk faltering though as she sees that her strange humor is not making you laugh, not this time.

The purple witch approaches, her cold fingers encircling your wrist. Despite her touch, you cannot shake the image of your lifeless child and her cold, motionless body in your arms. You pull away from her touch and give them your back, their gazes burning into your back as you look up at the haunted sky above your heads.

"Y/n, honey, what did you dream?"

"You know what I dreamed, Aggie"

You whisper, your voice cracking and your chest becoming heavy again.

"I visit him...often. He always asks me about his moms, his other two moms...I miss him every single moment and there is not a day when I don't hate myself for destroying our family."

Rio whispers, you can hear her voice tremble as she says it. You know how much it cost her to take your son's soul, you remember the suppressed tears and the cries Agatha and Rio hurled at each other

that night.

"It's been 100 years and I still miss him like air, I-"

Your breath becomes a gasp as your lungs don't seem to want to cooperate.

"Is he okay? He-"

Agatha stops midway, watching you carefully and chasing back the worry about your son for a few moments.

The purple witch approaches once more, rests two fingers under your minus and lifts it up, forcing you to look her in the eye.

"Y/n, hey...you need to breathe"

"Y/n I can't Aggie, y/n I can't...why can't I see him? I-"

Your chest rises and falls quickly; your heart beats fiercely as a

familiar ache, characteristic of the last decades of your existence, begins to radiate down your chest.

"Mi amor, you can see ghosts, and Nicky is not a ghost; he has moved on. I made sure he did

" "I miss him so much, mi vida. Please take me to him, please!"

You sob, the dream has shaken you deeply, and your child's face is burned into your mind.

The Witches Road is playing with you and is winning.

Agatha remains silent, watching the interaction between you and his ex-wife from afar, looking at the loves of her life and feeling inside that they are hiding something from her...that you are hiding something from her.

"Y-you shouldn't have saved me that night. You shouldn't have!"

Your sobs become desperate, your cries tearing through the silence of the night as the air makes its way, with difficulty, inside your lungs.

"I had to mi amor, I couldn't lose you too"

The Green Witch kisses your forehead, letting her arms wrap tightly around you.

Ironic to see Death in love with two mortals, one a necromancer to boot.

That was exactly how you had met Rio, through your powers. You were trying to resurrect a cat when a sensuous woman had knocked on your door with a Dagger in her hand and a sadistic smile that you had immediately fallen in love with. At the time you could hardly have imagined that Death would show up at your little cabin in the woods for a little resurrection ritual. And then...well, then you had met Agatha.

"What the hell is she talking about, y/n?"

Agatha seeks your gaze but you ignore her, watching the mushy ground beneath your feet.

Confusion and fear invade your aura as you watch your ex-wife anxiously.

Death takes a deep breath, places the blade back in its sheath and approaches the witch.

"Ten years after Nicky's death, she...tried to trade her life for her own but I

stopped her."

You close your eyes, the weight and despair of that night burning in your mind like a

newly lit fire. You remember the spell, the burning in your chest and the candles, in a circle, around you.

A life for a life, it was simple basic necromancy...but magic is never simple.

It had to be the soul of someone who loved Nicky only as a mother would and who

would spend eternity burning in the flames of hell to bring him back to life. You had accepted that fate but Rio had intervened just in time, breaking the spell and

controlling you like a hawk for the next thirty-five years only to disappear again.

"Why the hell you didn't tell me? HOW COULD YOU HAVE KEPT IT FROM ME, RIO!!! I could have stayed by her side, I could have-"

"I tried to tell you but every time you chased me away! You were too angry with me, Agatha!"

The two women in your life keep yelling at each other as if you were not there, accusing each other again and again, just like the night Nicky died.

"STOP!"

You shout so loudly that your voice affievolves soon after and an unpleasant tingling radiates along your vocal cords.

"Stop fighting, stop...stop."

"Why didn't you come to me? I could have given my soul in exchange for Nicky's, you don't deserve to burn in hell, I-"

"I couldn't lose you too, Agatha. Neither Rio nor I could. I just wanted to bring our baby home-"

"Not at the cost of your life, you idiot!"

Agatha growls, frustrated at the idea that you can't conceive that even the thought of losing you would kill them for good.

"Yes it would, damn it! I should have saved him, I would have-"

A sob shakes your chest as your legs give out and you fall to the damp ground. Rio supports you and holds you close, whispering phrases in Spanish as the purple witch soon follows suit. Unconsciously, you begin to scratch your wrists, your scars reddening before the two

witches can stop you, and only then does the purple witch notice the scars that centuries before were not present on your otherwise perfect skin.

"Oh doll..."

Agatha whispers, her hands overlapping yours, her fingertips caressing your

scars as silent tears slide down her cheeks. Rio leaves a kiss in her hair before kneeling in front of you and locking your wrists together, preventing you from hurting yourself by scratching.

Sobs violently shake your body, so violently that Rio is forced to hold you tightly in her arms to keep you from hurting. Soon, your breathing becomes so fast, so rapid and warbling that oxygen no longer reaches your

brain quickly and your body collapses in their arms.

"Y/N!"

Agatha screams, shaking you by the shoulders as Rio gently lays you down on the ground.

"Rio don't take her away from me, please, please don't take mi vida away from me. Por favor, por favor mi amor, por favor."

"Shh, shhh, it's okay. I won't take her away from you Aggie, it's not her time yet, she's fine, she's fine mi amor."

Death cradles her wife in his arms while cradling your head in her cold lap until, after interminable minutes, you seem to regain consciousness.

"Welcome back mi vida,"

Rio whispers, leaving a kiss on your forehead before letting the purple witch do the same.

"The road is taking its toll on us, doll"

Agatha presses her forehead against yours, her hands running over your face, caressing your neck and pausing over your heart, listening intently for your chest to rise and fall rhythmically.

"Damn it, you're going to make me lose my immortality if you keep scaring me like this," she whispers, her worried gaze ill-concealed by the defensive attitude that is characteristic of her person.

You sigh, detach yourself a few inches from them, and place your hands on the wet, muddy ground beneath you to sit up.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't ready for the Road but I wanted to come anyway ... when you knocked on my door, I ... I don't know, I went back to when we were in the cabin, in our bed, and Nicky was snuggling between the three of us all night."

"I miss him like air, since I had to take him away...I can't help thinking about him. But I cannot die, though I have tried"

A sad laugh leaves Death's lips and both you and Agatha hold your beloved in your arms. You say nothing to her; it would be hypocritical of you to do so.

You tried countless times to take your own life and Agatha, well, she had thought about it more than once.

"I forgive you Rio, I forgive you my love."

The purple witch kisses Death's lips, their tongues entwining as the passion of centuries spills over in a single, single instant of time. They pull apart only for lack of breath.

"I've missed you so much...Goddess, I've missed you so much I-"

Your voice freezes, you cannot put into words how much their distance has cost you and you are certain that they have felt what you have felt.

A second later, your hands are sliding down the purple witch's back, your two fingers unclasping her bra as her neck is assaulted by your passionate bites and loving kisses. Agatha moans, her fingers clawing at your hair as your lips collide and tongues dance for dominance; her other hand tightens, however, around Rio's right breast as the latter slips a hand between your legs, causing you to moan.

A minute later, you are lying, naked, on the mud of the Witches Road and making love as you haven't in ages.

Needless to say, when Billy sees you, he screams and covers his eyes, running away as eagerly as a 12-year-old.

Thanks for reading! It’s been a while, uh? Merry Christmas people! (And Have a great day!)

Support me on ko-fi

Taglist: @wandanatsbaby @bioquake-archives @bioquakeweek @daisyjohnsonx @wandanatsgirlfriend @chaekhan @station19 @resilientpendragon @so-no-kissing-then @thearchpitbullmx @ashadash0904 @kingshitonly @alwaysgoodnight @callistic @xjule @yuleni18 @alexxislexi @mrsdanversromanoff @coollemonsaresour @hushed-woodsman @razorscooteer @eponine-xx @maniacallinc @michelle170 @scarletwidow @tati3001 @your-my-mission @mr-nicely @hi-i-1 @anniethurs @ktstwice @scarlet-raccoon @maria-403 @goldfishthegr8 @wandanatfan @looiegirl-blog @agatharioscoven @agathario-did-the-thing @agathario-all-along

[strangelystrangestrangerrr]

The three times you trusted Natasha, and the one time you didn’t | Ch.1

I Prologue | Ch.1 l

Pairing: Natasha Ramanoff x Fem!reader

Warnings: Angst, trauma, unrequited love, descriptions of injury, kidnapping

Note: What if I tell you that this is the only chapter that contains “fluff”? :D

———————————————————————————

“y/l/n”

You looked up to see none other than Natasha greeting you as she entered the common room.

“Romanoff” You acknowledged and gave her a nod.

This was how your relationship with her first started off, professional and formal. Whenever you guys were paired up during missions, they usually go so smoothly that no one was able to comprehend how you guys were perfectly in sync with each other, communicating without needing to say things out loud. Natasha was glad to learn that you were a workaholic just like her, training with you became part of her routine.

As time passed, you both became accustomed to each other’s presence unknowingly. You’d ask her to join you for lunch after training together and she’d save you a spot next to her during movie nights. Things remained within a typical coworkers/friends boundary.

Until that one time.

It was a late afternoon, the air was warm and cosy. You were sparring with Natasha, again. You tried to punch her, and as a top-level assassin, she managed to dodge it. In return, she caught your arm and smashed you against the ground in a swift motion. Not wanting to give up just yet, you kicked her legs, causing her to trip over you. As a result, you guys ended up in an awkward position. To your surprise, she didn’t get up immediately, instead she stayed like that, with her arms beside the sides of your head and one of her legs in between your thighs, while she steadied her breaths. Then the realisation hit you, it was your first time being this close with someone, more intimate than anything you had experienced. You told yourself not to overthink it and tried to maintain your composure desperately.

“Why are your ears so red?” All of the sudden Natasha asked.

“Hm? My ears? Oh it’s nothing,” you frantically dismissed.

“Are you sure? Cuz they’re getting even redder.”

“It’s just that you’re hot-” Fuck “-NO, I mean I’m feeling hot cuz of…” you paused as you were distracted by a drop of sweat that was leaving a trail on her neck as it continued downwards…

“The training?”

“YES! Yes the training,” her voice snapped your attention back to her eyes.

Amused by your unusual stuttering, she smirked as she pushed further, “Are you blushing, darling?”

You wanted to crawl out of the boxing ring.

“What!? Nooo, what are you even talking about?” You couldn’t take it anymore so you pushed her off of you while avoiding eye contact with her.

You behaving like this was very new to Natasha. Sure, she loved the professionalism in you, always looking sharp and smart as her respected and trusted partner, but this? This did something to her. The way you became fidgety under her, looking all helpless and didn’t know what to do. She smiled to herself as she replayed your cute little expression in her head. She wanted to see more of it, she needed to.

Things changed ever since then.

She kept trying to catch you off guard. You hated the way she winked at you when you stared at her absentmindedly. You hated the way she sneaked up behind you while you were making her favourite meal. You hated the way she insisted that you should sit her lap while claiming that no other spots were available on the couch with that stupid grin on her face. Unable to control how your heartbeat quickened due to her tactics, you brushed her off every time by rolling your eyes or telling her to shut up. Much to your dismay, she got bolder and bolder, as if she was encouraged by your rejection. That was how you knew you were eventually going to lose in this silly game of hers.

She made her final move during one of Tony’s party. The night was strange, although you didn’t interact with each other much, the tension between you two was high. It was the fifth time you had locked eyes with her through the crowd of Tony’s guests, biting your lips, you couldn’t help but feel a bit self-conscious under her burning gaze. Acting like nothing happened, you continued the boring conversation you were no having with the guests. After a while you got tired of indulging them, so excused yourself to get some fresh air. Natasha wasn’t doing so great either, her mind was consumed by how good you looked with that black classy dress you had on. The way the fabric hugged your curves so perfectly and how the slit on the side allowed your long legs to peek out every so often. Oh, the things she could do to you. Lost in her trail of thoughts, she panicked when she could no longer find you across the venue…

You jumped as you felt a hand lingering on your exposed back.

“What’s a pretty girl doing here all by herself?” Natasha whispered into your ears.

The breeze was cold but none of you could feel it.

Feeling a bit tipsy, you turned to face her and answered, “waiting for you,” while ignoring the burning sensation in your stomach, in attempt to tease her.

Then you broke her. Being this up close, she was enchanted by your beauty. You were looking extra vulnerable, having your hair tied up neatly into a bun, with a few strands on the side. The way your big sparkling eyes look up to her, a shy smile hanging on your lips, silently challenging her. Natasha’s breath hitched.

“Natasha?” Confused by her seemingly lack of reaction, you called her as you waited for her cocky remark.

“Mm!?”

Couldn’t hold herself back any longer, Natasha closed the gap and kissed you. She was being so soft and gentle with you, you thought you would melt onto the floor, you had no idea that it was taking everything in her to not to be aggressive.

“Can I be your girlfriend?” She blurted out the question she’d been wanting to ask forever.

The sight of you was making her go crazy. You were panting hard to catch your breath. Head held down, clearly trying to hide your flustered state without knowing that your red little ears betrayed you. So fucking cute.

A million thoughts were forming inside your brain. Is this even real? It was no doubt that you were attracted to her, but why would she ever choose you? It made sense why you hesitated due to your past. You had tried to reach out to people, your parents, your friends, but you ended up getting hurt every time. So you reminded yourself not to get used to people’s comfort for your own sake and managed to move on. You were fine, you swear!

Looking into her sincere gaze, the feeling of hope was too overwhelming for you. Screw it, what’s the worst that could happen? For her, you were willing to take the risk. You trusted her.

After you nodded timidly, she beamed and pulled you into another heated kiss.

[anonymouse9172]

They meet (again). Part 1. (Yandere! Poly! Twisted Wonderland x Male Reader)

Malleus and Leona: M/n is Divus Crewel's much younger half brother by 16 years. M/n and Divus did not really get along but neither hated each other either. Due to their age difference they didn't grow up together so they just never truly knew each other and were fine with that. That is until their Dad and M/n's mother died in a car leaving the just barely 18 year old boy, M/n, with no place to go. Though most argued in his family that he was old enough to live on his own and take care of himself even though he had not finished high school and refused to take him in but Divus surprisingly offered him a place to stay until he at least finished high school.

M/n had to move to Night Raven College. He knew it would be rough moving in the last year of high school but he didn't really see a choice other then dropping out and he didn't want to do that either. So he moved and was sorted into Scarbia. He did not interact with anyone outside of Scarbia, his brother, and other teachers for the first week. On the 8th day though he decided to wonder around the campus. He ended up lost in the woods though.

He was trying to determine how to get back to Scarbia when he heard two voices arguing. M/n quickly hurried to the voices. He stumbled upon the sight of a lion beast man in a savanaclaw uniform and dragon fae in a Diasmonia uniform looking ready to either go to blows with each other or kiss. M/n could not tell which.

He wasn't sure if he should interrupt them but he realized he didn't really a choice, he needed to get out of this damned forest one way or another. He cleared his throat drawing of their attentions sharply. "I'm sorry for interrupting but I'm completely lost. Wou...?", he starts but is cut off by the Lion beast man.

"So? That's not our problem, herbivore.", says the says the Lion beast man. "Don't be so rude, Kingscholar. The child of man is just trying to get out of the woods and we are the only people around. It's not like he insulted our gargoyles or something.", says the dragon fae.

The beast man glares. "There you go again talking about gargoyles. There are more important things in life then gargoyles.", says the Lion. The beast man and the fae begin to bricked again back and forth. It was really getting on M/n's nerves. "Can someone please just tell me the way out of here?", says M/n so loudly it verges yelling at them.

The Lion glares at the human Scarbia student. He starts to open his mouth to say something sarcastic but the dragon far beats him. "My apologizes child of man. There is a path about 12 feet behind me. If you follow it west towards the sun it should take you to the main campus.", says the dragon fae. "Thank you.", says M/n and then he quickly sets off down the path.

A minute after he is gone the dragon fae and lion look at each other. The lion grumbles out, "You were right. He's perfect." The dragon smiles. "I know.", says the fae.

Kalim and Jamil: M/n meet Kalim and Jamil as children. He was Kalim's other servant and Jamil's coworker. He wasn't quite treated on the same level as Jamil though. He wasn't as smart, polite, cunning, handsome, or as good a cook. He kind of just belonged in the background doing the more menial things for Kalim, and sometimes even Jamil, and he didn't mind that. When they went NRC he didn't go with them at first so he did not see them for two years. He didnt think much of it or really care.

Then at what would have been the beginning of their third year at NRC it was announced that Jamil and Kalim were dating and M/n was sent by Kalim's family to NRC to take over Jamil's work so that Kalim's boyfriend would not have to servants work at all anymore. M/n had expected to do much of the same as he had before Kalim and Jamil went to NRC and be in the background behind them. However when he arrives and enters the Scarbia dorm he is surprised when Kalim sees him that he rushes and sweeps him off his feet literally.

M/n had always been even tinier the Kalim so it was not all that surprising that the tanned albino prince could do this but that he would was shocking. Kalim had always been friendly to M/n but not overly so like he was with Jamil. When Kalim finally set M/n down again he was even more shocked to see Jamil smiling behind Kalim.

"Follow me, M/n. I'll show you to your room so you can get settled in.", says Jamil. Then the tall brunette turns and starts walking. M/n and Kalim follow while Kalim chatters away and M/n simply nods along with him. After enter his room and shutting the door M/n hears Jamil and Kalim walk away but he doesn't hear them whispering to each other as they do so.

"He's finally here. I want to play with him. It'll be so much fun. We should throw a party.", says Kalim to Jamil excitedly. "Patience, Kalim. We need to slowly ease him in before we officially make him ours. We can't just rush. He'll try to run. We need to play the long game.", says Jamil. Kalim pouts but nods.

Ace and Deuce: M/n's twin brother Yuu was always gallivanting around with Ace and Deuce since they ended up in Twisted Wonderland. However M/n did not think much of them or know them well. Instead he focused on trying to find away home. He spent the longest time scouring books for information and consulting books. After finding nothing the first three months he decided he needed help. First he tried going to Dire Crowley who he thought was also working on a way for them to go home. After a weird conversation he realized that Crowley knew nothing. Then he tried talking Divus Crewel who promptly slammed a door in his face upon realizing he wasn't in fact Yuu. So then he decided to go find the smartest students at NRC for help. He decided to start with Heartslabyul's dorm warden.

When he got there he found his brother in the garden with Ace, Deuce, Trey, Cater, and Riddle, who was the dorm warden. When Yuu saw his brother he eagerly waved and yelled, "M/n, get over here." M/n sighed as everyone else's attention flew to him.

He waved awkwardly and walked over. Riddle, Trey, Cater gazes went of M/n but Ace and Deuce stared so unabashedly that M/n felt uncomfortable. Yuu however was about ready to bounce off his seat. "You finally took your nose out of a book and come to join us. I thought you were to good to hang out with the likes of us.", says Ace with a sneer that did not quiet reach his eyes.

M/n felt confused. "What are you talking about? I'm just trying to find a way home for me and Yuu but I couldn't find anything and I scoured every book in the library. I need help.", says M/n. Yuu frowns at M/n and looks down. Everyone falls quiet and Ace and Deuce look pissed. Riddle doesn't say anything and neither do Trey or Cater.

Ace clenches his fists and Deuce grits his teeth. Deuce speaks coldly. "So you don't really want to get to know us? You just want to get out of here and never think of us or see us again? You think that is okay? Like we are nothing.", hisses the blue haired male.

M/n's eyes widen and he feels afraid. He tries to backtrack. "Whoa. No. I just want to go home because I miss my family and friends there. I wasn't trying to insult or belittle you or anything.", he says quickly attempting to placate the blue haired guy.

"Well, you did. Now get out of our fucking faces.", says Ace. M/n feels defeated as he turns and walks away. He just wants to go home not hurt anyone.

When he is out of ear shot Yuu places a hand on Ace's upper arm. "Don't worry. He'll come around soon and you and Deuce will have him in your arms. Then he'll give up on going back to Earth.", says Yuu. Ace slumps, scowls, and says, "I want him now." "Me too.", says Deuce starring wistfully off in the direction the M/n went.

(Sorry this took so long. The other to ships will be in the second part. I got stuck of Leona and Malleus for the longest time and now I am stuck Riddle and Floyd. After the second part I will start of the second scenario and after that I will start taking requests but do not rush me.)

[lion-eva61]

Saw that tweet on twitter and hated it. Because 1. people seem always to gaslight Jayce , saying : oh, you are saying Mel manipulated him? Well his fault for being so easy to be manipulated. He is a himbo ! He is like a leaf in the wind so don’t you dare point out Mel’s grey morality. Instead make more jokes about Jayce!

Even half serios only half joking : Jayce actually wanted to be manipulated by a beautiful woman!

Here is my take:

First : Mel is deep down a good moral leader who is empathetic and cares about all people. But her true potential is buried and need to get out.

Second, Mel should have teamed up with ekko in season 2. Her journey to a good moral leader was not in season 1, her vote for independence of zhaun is not enough to make me say: her dream is to help people just like Jayce and Viktor. But her journey (right at the bombing of the council )should have began to become that person.

With ekko there was so much potential for her to learn about zhaunits and make her finally believe that they are HER people too, that all that gold she wears is like blood gold when all the zhaunits suffer.

Here is why:

First I want to establish Mel’s very grey character by her interactions with Jayce:

Jayce was easily pushed into all kinds of decisions (Markus and ambessa ) and into a political position by Mel, were she gave him full power over the future of hextech, BUT, the council gave no room for him to even have time to think about it. People often say: why didn’t he just say :No actually I don’t want it!

Well watch episode 4 again : Mel IMMEDIATELY began with the voting for creating a house Talis. The council was already 3 steps ahead before Jayce could even utter a word and talking over him. No one even asked him : hey do you even want this Jayce? It shows that the council, once they have something in their minds, they will have it reinstated. In this case :Mel wanted Jayce in the council , and she got that.

Not to mention that Mel already put the seeds in his head (same episode I think but earlier) that he could be a good leader to spread hextech to the world. She made sure to put that idea in his head to achieve his hextech dream.

Also it is not altruism that Mel gave him so much power, because she actually gave herself power over hextech. With Jayce in the council she has one vote more for whatever she wants to be reinstated, because it is easy for her to convince Jayce of her opinions(for example hextech weapons).

Mel used Jayce’s lack of political and tactical understanding. I mean, she was smart enough to approach Jayce and not Viktor, because getting a say of the future of hextech would be impossible through Viktor, a zhaunits who distrust the upper piltover class.

Her journey in s1 is that she moved and used tactics like a Merdada but learns to open up to Jayce and reject her upbringing. But that journey is rocky. To remind everyone : she was(under the pressure of her mother ) the catalyst for the hextech weapons, she brought that idea into Jayce’s and victors lab and brought another dilemma into Jayce’s life : is it morally correct to use his dream to fight other people to protect your own people. At that moment she didn’t consider the zhaunits her people, planting another seed into Jayce’s mind : it’s them vs us.

Meanwhile Viktor was defusing Jinx’s bomb and reminding Jayce , that there is choice for not using violence against people. A deliberate contrast to what Mel said.

And even the final vote for independence for zhaun is rocky : she was taking by surprise with the peace deal and looked worried and unsure. It looks like a mirror how Jayce felt when she took him by surprise and made him council. Now Jayce surprised her with the decision where her morals finally really stands, and she votes for peace.

Problem is, the council already overlooked so much of the issues in zhaun, that their voting is way to late. The pain of zhaunits expressed by jinx is boiling over and the rocket hits.

A final and very good conclusion, a middle finger to the council and their half asses morality.

And that was Mel’s journey : she was just not quick enough to realize, where her morals stands. She was not fast enough to let go of her merdada tactics and work for peace instead of wealth for piltover.

She is not a villain but also not an ally to zhaun. YET

Now season 2:

In season 2 she should have cooperate with ekko, learning the people of zhaun and become the person she really is deep down but is buried under the pressure of her mom and all the years of accumulation wealth for her and piltover, ignoring zhaun.

Her journey was not over to become a true good leader, she was barely a good moral leader in season 1. she should have become one in season 2.

The symbolism to throw away the gold to help the tree of the firelight’s, make it bloom and shine again like she wanted as a child, a city beautiful that it’s shines bright: THAT IS LIERALLY THE FIRELIGHTS HIDEOUT

That’s why it is so so disappointing that Mel Stan’s never talk about her in greater depth, brush her decisions and tactics with a moral white brush, ignore all the so obvious wealth symbolism around her that point out how far away she is from the pain of zhaunits , gaslight Jayce and ignore her journey.

And make stupid tweets.

You guys should not be angry why she didn’t end up with Jayce , but why she never had the chance to show us , that of all people in piltover, she is actually the most caring. That she would have the biggest heart for zhaun. Why didn’t we see that? When it was established how much she actually cares that people don’t suffer? Why didn’t Mel not have a single chance to interact with zhaunits ? To see their suffering ? To make actual changes ?

[jujutsukgojo]

The Baby Project Chapter 7

Summary: All because your back was turned. tw: angst, lost kid, brief assault, panic, idk what else

Yona leads you back to her office after your cry fest. You don’t dare look anyone in the eye. It’s embarrassing enough that Sakura saw you freak out and to face these random people who saw you cry in the foyer would be too much right now. Inside, you inform her of what’s going on. 

“We figured it was because of his past.”

 You shake your head no. “Not just that. It was everything. I broke the scholarship’s rules.”

“And they brought up Kenji.”

 “Kaibara brought that up. How does he even know that?” Yona stretches and rubs her ear. “The brat gave Noa to him. That is the only time they interacted.”

 You shake your head. “No, no. He dug deep into Ken and used it against me. Kaibara would’ve had to at least know his name. I never talked about you guys!” Did you? It was months ago and so much has happened in that short time frame. 

 Yona sucks on her teeth. “Do you think he may have been watching? I don’t know what he looks like. He could’ve come in and heard Ken’s name in passing. He’s a hero,” She sighs and sits on the corner of her desk. “They’re smart. It wouldn’t take him long to figure it out.”

 You are silent and take that possibility in. It’s strange and frightening to think he had been watching you all because of twenty bucks. Yona clears her throat. “Pretty, we understand what happened and welcome you back to work but I think you should talk to Ken.”

“Is he mad?”

“Not at you. I think you might be mad at him.” 

 You straighten up. You didn’t reflect on what you felt towards Ken individually. You knew you would miss him and Yona terribly, but not if you were mad at Kenji. Now that you think about it, only one answer comes to mind. “I’m not mad at Ken.”

Her eyes soften and her ladybug wings settle against her back. “Then go tell him that. He’s been walking around here like a kicked dog.” -

“Ken?” He turns his head a little to see you. Never have you been afraid of Ken. You didn’t judge him for his past since it’s none of your business. Besides, he doesn’t do it anymore. So, why bother him about it? Despite what Kaibara and U.A. say, you don’t let that darkness that festered inside him stop you from loving him. Especially since he hasn’t done it since he paid his dues. To you, he's Ken.

 He looks the same since last you saw him. His hair is still in need of a haircut. You run into his arms and squeeze him tight. 

“How’ve you been, bub?” As you squeeze him, his back cracks. Ken groans and answers, “I’ve been better, sugar.”

You have so much to catch up on with him and Yona, the customers, the latest gossip on the streets. You want to brag about your grades and Noa, about Izuku even though he’s in the dog house. First, you need to reassure the cook so he doesn’t poison you.

 You separate from him and look down. Even though you didn’t have anything to do with U.A.’s decision, you can’t help but feel guilty and complicit. “Ken, I’m sorry.”

“For what?” 

You suck on your lips and put your hands behind your back. “I didn’t fight hard enough for you. I should’ve defended you more and at least called after I quit.”

 He rubs your head. “No apologies needed, kid. It’s not your fault, it’s theirs.”

His pardon puts a big smile on your face. You bounce up and down. “I’m working here again!”

Ken raises his brow. “Yeah? What’d you do, blow up the school and make them cave?”

“No! As long as I’m listed as a volunteer, I’m good.”

“Guess we’ll just have to make people tip.” He swats a towel on your head. “Now shut up and get over here. Cut the onions, I hate doing it.”

-----------

Now that the stress of your finances has been slightly lightened, there is another problem that needs attention. It’s hard to ignore that Noa is starting to have a hitting problem. Recently, he smacked Hana across the face with his toy truck resulting in a scar. You couldn’t apologize enough for it. Ema got over it and understood because Hana's going through the same thing. Kirishima, on the other hand, is still pretty pissed. Since he is Ema’s problem, you’ll leave that to her even though their relationship is still on the rocks. 

 You don’t really know what to do other than scold Noa for it and put him in time out which isn’t really working. Yona’s advice to have him channel it into something productive is a fine suggestion, but what? He colors already and plays with everyone he comes in contact with, what else? You already make crafts with him, read, and even have him study with you. Noa is two years old. All of this stuff should be gaining his attention.

 You write this in your report. The thick pamphlet that is soon to be filled out seems to have more negatives than positives. You sigh and look at his little shelf of books. Lately, all the kids’ books you have aren’t working. He seems more partial to the things you’re reading than anything. Especially The Great Love Story. Although it is a good read, it’s getting tiring. Is it possible that the daring fight with the dragon is affecting him? 

Noa pops up from the bed and walks over to you. “Hey, mini man. Did I wake you?” He nods and has a deep frown. You pick him up and place his head on your shoulder, slightly rocking back and forth. “What do I do with you? What should we do to make you stop hitting and getting into stuff? C’mon, what do you like?”

 His eyes light up and says with a groggy voice, “Food.” 

“Like the cake for Papa?” It still stings mentioning him but he is Noa’s dad and is a part of his life. 

Noa nods enthusiastically. Now that you have a spark of relief and happiness, you list foods that the two of you can cook. You take out a notebook and put on the lists he agrees with. Right now, money is a little tight, so you’ll just have to hold him over with smaller and cheaper recipes until you can work your way up with your new chef.

It's strange. You hug Noa with genuine happiness when you see how excited he is.

----------------

Ema rubs her eyes when you enter the classroom with Noa who is wearing his Deku hoodie. He was adamant about matching his Papa. With his hand in yours, you gain the attention of others. “What?”

“He’s tall!” Riko puts her hands on her hips. “I saw you last night and he wasn’t this tall.”

You shrug your shoulders. “He grew?”

The door opens behind you. Snipe looks down at Noa. “I heard you from the outside. I have to say, I think you’re right.” He squats and asks, “Can I see your tummy?” Noa shakes your hand and points. You hum and lift his hoodie. On it is a new number. 

“Three years old!” You exclaim. It isn’t that you didn’t notice his growth or care. It’s just news because how in the hell were you able to pull that off? It can’t be something as small as cooking. 

“Congratulations to (Y/n) and Noa. The first to reach three years old.” Snipe claps and laughs. You beat Ema of all people? She’s like the golden standard of this project. How in the hell did you beat her?

Noa cheers his own name, making you roll your eyes. This kid has yet to call you mom.

Snipe walks to the podium. The class is silent and waits for him to start the session. Everyone has their kids today and most of them are well behaved. Snipe rubs his face under his mask. “Now, about the caregiver situation-”

“What about-” You start to say. Snipe smacks the podium lightly. “(Y/n)! Enough.”

You raise your hand. He sighs and calls your name. “The caregiver? And-”

“One question at a time for you. The caregiver is one of the students in the support course who,” He looks around and sees all of the kids’ faces. “Um, help Mei Hatsume with the assignment. She’ll take care of them during class.”

You raise your hand again. Snipe groans. “Anyone besides her?” 

“The gall…” You mutter. Riko looks at you and then raises her hand. “Now that general studies are starting to be taken seriously, does the class get the same benefits they do?”

   Attagirl. 

Snipe puts his hand on his hips and stares at you. “I didn’t say it!” 

“No, but you put her up to it. Riko, the differences in the curriculum between you and the third year hero course are drastic. So what is allowed with them is strictly because of that. Nothing else.” 

How in the hell did he come to the conclusion that you made her do it? You can't control her mind. You may tell people what to do but you don't control them.

You raise your hand again. He glances at you and simply says, “No. Now let’s start class.”

He did nothing but create excuses for them. Of course, he did. 

-

Right as you are writing down important notes, in the corner of your eye, you see Noa raise his hand. This should've been expected since he is creating this habit. Alas, you and everyone else didn't realize how far it would go until Noa screams and hits everything. You try to calm him down with things he normally likes. Drawing, his ‘homework’, books and toys, all of it. You grab his offending arm before it swings again, “Listen, boy, you’re young so you don't have survival instincts yet,” He blows a raspberry in your face then stops as quick as he started. “Trust, I will tear your ass up in the middle of this class.”

Snipe begins to scold you. “Hush!” You point to Snipe then turn back to Noa who’s pouting. “Noa, this behavior is over, ‘kay? We’re not doing this. My sous chef can't act like a fool. I will not have a fool for a cook. Act right, wait, and color Mommy a pretty picture so I can put it on the wall over there.”

Snipe puts his hand on his hip. “You cannot pin something on the wall-” Snipe begins to growl at your disregard.

“Bet. Noa, you will behave. If you want to sit on my lap and help, that’s fine. If you want to dance and mind your business, go ahead since it won't hurt anyone.”

He looks like he understands for a second until he looks up defiantly and throws what he believes is a trump card. “I’ll tell Papa-”

“And I will beat his ass too. Papa is victim number one. With a switch and everything because I don’t give a damn. You are going to say sorry, and you will behave."

Everyone remains silent as he apologizes to Akane, his victim. Akane coos over how polite he is and how clear he speaks. Kobeni calls Noa’s name and he wanders to the back of the class to play. Snipe points to you and says, “That is what you don’t do. Threatening is not allowed.”

“Neither is abandoning kids to villains yet here we are.” 

“Child-”

“Man.”

Noa bounces up and down, excited that he's running around. Snipe points to the door. “Hallway.” 

The hero's foolery must stop.

You get Noa and head to the hallway. “This wouldn’t happen if we had a caregiver.”

In the hallway, Noa tries to do a cartwheel and lands on his face. You suck in your lips so you don’t cackle. Even though you don’t mind what he’s doing right now, you still have to talk to him. 

“Noa, I’m going to need you to calm down when we’re in class.”

“Your class!” He makes a point. “I’m bored!”

It’s understandable. You even struggle with it. Unfortunately, it’s something you have to sit through. As a three year old, it must be harder. “I understand Noa, believe me, I do. But baby,” You sit down. “When we’re in class, I need you to be as calm as you can.”

“I’m trying.” He nuzzles in your hand that is gently cupping his chubby cheek. 

You give him a kiss. “I know, baby. I also know that you won’t hit anymore, so thank you for that.”

“Trying!” He groans and stomps his foot. You rub his arms and sigh. You know he is. And you also know that the hitting is over. It will be nearly impossible to get him to calm down, though. And everyone else’s kids are active in class, just not as disruptive as he is. It's gotten worse over time.

“I was like you, too. So, I get it! I’m trying as well.” You kiss his forehead. “How about we try together, partner? I’ll bring more of your things and ask to be moved to the back, eh?”

“You’re out here again?” You jump when a voice interrupts you and Noa’s moment. It’s him. Shouto Todoroki walks into the hallway. His dual colored eyes observe both you and Noa. Around the start of this, you felt an intense anger towards him and his whole family. Since then, it’s calmed down due to you being busy with life. Now that he’s in front of you, that anger starts to spark like little embers on wood. 

Through gritted teeth, you ask, “What’re you doing here?”

Seriously, how the hell does he know you come out here a lot?

“Looking for my partner.” Then, you notice the infant in his arms. He isn’t wearing his hero costume or gym clothes. He isn’t disheveled or bothered at all. “Why?”

“To give her the baby.” Noa hops over to him. “Lemme see!” He stands on his tippy toes and sees the baby that looks like that one girl. You don’t really know her other than her reaction at the Sports Festival. The only thing that baby has of him is the eye color and pink hair.

“Why?”

“That’s personal.”

“So are us being out here yet you believe you should point it out. Now why are you passing on your responsibility again?”

His face remains the same. Indifferent and a little awkward. “Couldn’t the same be said for you with Midoriya?”

Bitch.

“What’d you mean?” You take steps to him. He shrugs. “You make him the father when Noa has one right next to you. How can you judge me when you pass Noa to someone who isn’t even doing the project?”

“Izuku wants to. I'm not making him!” You hang onto that since he is helping. To others, it must look like you've pushed Noa onto him if they weren't paying attention. It’s embarrassing because you’re aware of how it looks.

“He pities you-” The raise of your hand was quick and harsh. The slap made him gasp and your hand tingly. “I may be a lot of things, but a pitiful creature I am not. It’s you and your family's fault that we’re suffering 24/7. If you would disappear and stop reminding everyone of your father and fine ass brother, I wouldn’t be in this mess!” 

His baby sucks on their thumb, totally oblivious. The rage, the hatred, you’ve felt towards him during these last few months come up to the surface. You can’t find it in you to feel bad about slapping him or for anything else. You don’t have sympathy for him. What you care about is you and yours. He and his family, fuck them. Why should you and anyone else feel bad for them? Does anyone doing the project have the energy to?

Fuck the Todorokis. Dabi was fine as hell but his looks can’t save him. 

“So, why don’t you just drop out and off the face of the earth?” His face drops. The sick satisfaction of his pain makes you smile from joy.

"Oooh! You smack! I'm telling Papa, ooohh!" Noa points at you accusingly with a smug look on his face. 

--------

The plan for a caregiver is brilliant. Everyone in class takes a turn watching the children. Today, it’s Riko’s turn. Tomorrow will be Sakura’s. This plan won’t work during school hours which sucks but hopefully, everyone can come up with something. 

Akane shifts her weight on her feet.  “You sure you’re okay?”

Riko rolls her eyes. “Yes. Now go study! The kids and I will turn on a show and paint something. Trust me, this isn’t my first time babysitting.”

 Another idea pops in your head. “What if during school hours, the caregiver works in the back and we’ll take notes for them? Maybe we’ll do each other’s homework?”

Riko shrugs. “Nah. That won’t work during tests and shit,” She waves her hands around. “We won’t think of that right now. Now is the time to practice so you can kick butt.” You smile at her, grateful that she’s enthusiastic about it and understanding. Lately, U.A. is working on Mineta’s investigation. No one knew that it was a thing until Riko was approached by Mic. Apparently, the questions were checking to see her status. She had told you that they hinted, or implied, that depending on how she is, he may come back. She isn’t sure and hasn’t told you what the questions were exactly. You want to respect her privacy and not jeopardize anything.

 “Let us know if you need us,” She nods and sighs. You point at Noa. “Boy, you’ll come up missing if you act up, capisce?”

“Capisce!” He gives you a thumbs up. You wave him goodbye so he can hang out with his friends and Auntie Riko. 

In the commons next to the kitchen, you lick your lips and try not to laugh at Hansuke's Hawks’s impersonation. You clear your throat. “Mr. Hawks-”

“Yes?” 

You loudly cackle and squat. Hansuke's impression of Hawks is exaggerated. “Why’re you laughing chickadee? Hurry up so I can go get some chicken with Endeavor.”

“Ugh!”

Tears slide down your temples as you laugh on your back. Today, you’re practicing going in front of Hawks with the notes you made. Undeniably, there’s still a lot to do and study for but practice makes perfect as long as Hansuke stops making you laugh. 

“That’s another thing we have to work on: your emotions. You tend to get very hot-headed when challenged, (Y/n).” Benio takes a drink in an attempt to collect himself. 

“Whew, okay, okay.” You get up and smack your cheeks. “Okay, let’s go.”

Hansuke bounces up and down a little. “So, (Y/n), you say U.A. wrongfully put the baby project onto your course as a way to duck-”

“Ha!” You snort. Hansuke has one hand on his mouth and the other on his hip. His body is shaking from him trying to keep in his laughter. He wears red construction paper taped to his back like wings. On his face are glasses that resemble Hawks’s old costume along with a puffer jacket. He looks ridiculous and his suggestion of putting on Hawks’s eyebrows is too much. 

“(Y/n)!” You turn to look at Riko who has her hands on her hips. You perk up. “Is Noa okay?”

“Yes, he’s fine. I’m talking about you! You need to take this seriously.” Before you can retort, she claps her hands. “Chop, chop! Get to work!” 

You stick your tongue out at her. In the distance is a creak. You frown and crane your neck to look behind Riko. “Mm, probably nothing.”

“What’d you mean?” She cocks her head to the left. You point behind her. “I thought I heard something. Eh, it’s nothing.”

Riko decides to watch the class study and scold you when you laugh at the bootleg Hawks. Minus the way he’s acting and looking, you’re actually pretty good. There are still some valid arguments he makes but you are getting better. Way farther than when you started. 

“I’m gonna go check the kids.” Riko walks off to the corner. 

Suddenly, as you are laughing and chewing on your chips, Riko calls out Noa’s and Kobeni’s names. You frown and yell, “Everything okay?”

“Yeah! Those two are probably hiding!” You can hear her footsteps walking around. You lick the red seasoning off your fingers and clap your hands. “Okay, there’s a possibility that Hawks decides that our wellbeing is expendable since there is no for sure evidence of anything physically wrong,” Jule scoffs at your statement. Out of everyone, Jule has gone through physical ailments the most. Kaminari is completely pathetic. 

“What I mean is, anytime we have the slightest thing wrong, we need to go to Recovery Girl. When she asks why or how be honest. Tell her what’s going on and that afterward, you want a copy of her report. If she says no, tell her it is your right.”

Benio scratches his head. “Is that written somewhere?” You nod and point to Akane’s text. “Right here.” 

You hear Riko scream. Everyone pops up and runs to her. Each parent goes to their child first, except you and Benio. Neither Kobeni nor Noa is in sight. 

“What’s going on?” 

“I can’t find them! The door-the door is open!” It’s as if time stopped. Your heart doesn’t even beat because it feels like it is filled with lead. “Is…is he upstairs?”

“No, no I looked everywhere. The door, the fucking door is open!” The lead in your heart sinks to your feet. Your instincts tell you to run outside and look for him but you are cemented to the carpet. Your eyes are wide and your face is as frozen as your body. Nothing is registering other than his disappearance. Still, you cannot move. 

Benio’s the first to run outside. Sakura is on the phone calling someone. Mira holds onto her leg and looks around. It’s chaotic. Everyone is scaring her. Yet, you still can’t move. 

Run outside! Call for him! Call Deku! If anyone can find Noa, it’s his dad. Your feet can’t move, though. Your legs have the heaviest weights in the world on them. 

With a quiet voice, you ask, “Did you check everything? My room?”

“The doors automatically lock! Your door is shut.” She apologizes repeatedly. Her eyes are misty. Your voice remains a whisper. “The crawlspace?”

“What crawlspace?” Bit by bit your heart starts to lighten. Riko must not have paid attention to the random chair by that window. That’s where the crawlspace is. You run up the stairs.

“Noa! Noa! Kobeni?! Babies please, please answer Mommy!” You scream as you check every corner. “Do you want to talk to Papa?” Deku’s supposed to come over today anyway. Whenever he doesn’t do his internship or work study, whatever the hell it is, he’s with you and Noa. There’s no doubt in the world that Noa doesn’t know his Papa will be home tonight. Maybe he wants to talk to him right now? Sometimes Noa wants that. Even though you haven’t forgiven Papa, you are still very civil in front of Noa. Izuku is also ‘disappointed’ in you, as well. 

For Noa, you’ll cave. Your pride and feelings mean nothing. Your cry goes unanswered. There is only a lonely echo desperately searching for an ear that matches his Papa’s. 

You look beside the window with a stray chair next to it. In the small crawl space, there is nothing but a cobweb. You take off to your room to find the door shut and locked. The key fumbles in your hand.

“Noa? Kobeni!” You swing the door open and find no one in the open space. There isn’t anyone in here, you can tell, but your desperation searches anyway. Involuntarily, your body starts to shake. Tucked in your back pocket is your phone. Trembling fingers dial the one person who can find him. 

“(Y/n)!” His voice sounds light, surprised, delighted, that you called. “Deku…”

Even though you can’t see him physically, you can tell his smile dropped. “Noa’s missing.”

----------

“Where’s the last time you saw them?” Embarrassingly enough, Sakura called Kacchan who is searching outside the gates. Along with him came the rest of the class. Izuku sticks close to you without a word since he was on the phone. “I’m going to go look. Stay here.”

"I have to go!" Your class is spread around looking for them. You feel safer with him; more secure that he's with you in this. There's no way you can't search with him.

  "Shouldn't I be looking for him, too?"

Izuku whips his head to stare into your eyes. They don't look normal. Where there is light, it is becoming tainted with a darkness that makes you tense. 

"You were supposed to be looking after him in the first place. Stay here." You press yourself against the wall, wanting to shrink from his gaze. "Stay here, (Y/n)." His nose is flared, and steam is practically coming out of his ears. He runs out of the dorm's commons to go on a mad hunt.

-

You quickly call the restaurant. At the same time, Snipe is yelling at you in the same room fucking Deku left you in with some of your classmates.

“Yona, Noa and Kobeni are missing. Can you look out for him? He knows his way there so he could be headed to you.”

“Of course, baby. What are he and Kobeni wearing?” Your heart is pounding in your ears so loud you can barely understand her. “Um, he’s wearing a red shirt with khaki pants. I didn’t choose that, I swear and Kobeni is wearing a blue sweatsuit, I think.”

“Why is Noa dressed like Jake from State Farm?”

“I don’t know, Yona. He chose it! He took his Deku hoodie off, so he now looks like that.” 

Right next to you is Snipe, whose hands are clenched in tight fists. “How can you be so irresponsible?!” Snipe’s mask is off so he can yell at you. Your legs are shaking from the images of Noa in various states. You go to move past him. 

“Yona, I need you guys to help me, please! I turned around for two seconds, I swear-”

“I’ve given you a lot of leniencies. Way too much so it seems. This situation and your utter disregard for authority and correction have gone too far. You were irresponsible! Take responsibility now!” He snatches the phone from you and hangs up. 

Before you can retort, he continues to growl. “What were you even doing?” Akane tenses up. Her sparkly lips open to answer but you subtly lift your hand to stop her. If Snipe found out what was going on, everything would be for nothing. It hurts that you’re getting the sole blame for it, though.

“You’re judging me? You? Someone who lost an entire teenager?” Snipe growls. “Docked. I’m putting Noa back to two years old.”

“What?!” You can hear Akane gasp. Your face feels warm from all of the negative feelings you feel. From hurt to embarrassment, fear, and anger. All of these are whirling in your body at once like a twister.

“You want him younger? I can do that! We’ll put him back as a newborn so you can start fresh.”

Your shoulders slump. Noa’s come so far and to have that ripped away is cruel. Almost like an artist finally putting the finishing touches on their painting just to have someone come and splatter on it. “Don’t do that…”

“Maybe just scrap Noa altogether?”

“Snipe, stop.” Noa’s former body, the lifeless doll, is something you dread to see again. You should be jumping for joy and relief, but you can’t. He leans into your space. “Two years old and detention.”

“My volunteering-” You can’t afford to lose the income again. He’s turned three and is growing like a weed. You don’t want to be a burden or have Izuku think of him that way. Lord forbid if Kaibara helps with anything. 

“Indefinite. Maybe now you’ll get the fucking hint, (Y/n). However long that takes.” His yellow eyes don’t look right. The pupils are dilated too much and the glare is too hard. 

You flinch. He has never cussed at you even though you’ve been a mess at times. The remainder of your classmates watch Snipe lose his cool. The heat from your body is too hot. He’s staring at you. Everyone is staring at you. You step back and turn away in shame, hurrying to leave him and this hallway. You enter the dorm’s yard, relishing the fresh air that was taken from you. You’re going all around and immediately stop. 

Kaibara stomps towards you. “How could you?!” 

You can’t deal with him or Snipe right now. They need to get out of your face and preferably die. Why is he angry? He's never cared about Noa. You run past him until you are grabbed by your arm. “Get off-”

“You had one job. One fucking job and that was to watch him!” He’s squeezing too tight. He, Izuku, and Snipe all have the same eyes. Noa is out there somewhere, and they are busy judging you, hating you. Noa is adventurous. He always walks around, and you always catch him until now. You turned away and are dealing with this.  “I-I couldn’t-”

Kaibara shakes you by your arm. “You were supposed to do it!” The sun casts a shadow on him that is all too fitting for his true colors. “Why can’t you do something right? God, I should go to the heroes and ask for a better mother.”

Mother.

You are a bad mom. You’re an awful person, mother, daughter, and student. Noa doesn’t even call you ‘mom’ and now you know why. This look on Kaibara’s face is the same one Izuku and Snipe have. They’re all making this face and saying the same thing. Even Shouto drew to the same conclusion. 

You should be a good mother and stop this crusade against heroes. How long will you hold this anger, this pain, that resulted into a fight for a grudge? Kaibara’s angry eyes disappear from your sight. It’s replaced with the vision of Noa’s back facing you and his little feet carrying him away into a fog. As the fog lifts, at your feet is a lifeless Noa with Kobeni’s hand in his. All around are the bodies of the kids you watch grow up. 

  If it weren’t for you, Benio and the kids wouldn’t be hurt and missing. Your anger and hate have led to Benio’s sorrow and Riko’s guilt. If you weren’t occupied, they all wouldn’t have had to witness your humiliation. They wouldn’t have had to look at you! All because you are a bad mom, Noa and Kobeni are gone. 

You whimper as the thoughts run rampant. You close your eyes. The sound of a forceful hit opens your eyes. Kaibara is on the ground with a bloody nose. Above him is Shouto Todoroki who has flared nostrils and a killer glare that isn’t directed toward you.  

“I-I need to find him.” You don’t look into his eyes from shame. This whole time you’ve preached about their irresponsibility, and you have fallen into the same trap of stupidity. “It’s going to be okay. We’ll find him.” His hand touches your face. “I’m gonna take you to Recovery Girl, now.”

He wraps his arm around your shoulders. Even though you fall into him, you hate his touch. 

"I want to find him, Shouto. I can't leave." He shakes his head no. "You're shaking. I'm not taking any chances."

At least no one is looking at you.

---------

You wait on Recovery Girl’s bed with Shouto. He doesn’t need to stand here with you. “You don’t have to be here.”

“I know.” He answers. Recovery Girl comes up and pats your knee. “Here’s water and a snack.”

What is water and a snack going to do? How’s that going to find Noa?

As if she read your mind, she says in a bedside manner fit for a doctor, “It’s not going to help your predicament with Noa but it will help you. There’s no reason to worry yourself sick. If there is one thing I learned, is that this generation of heroes won't quit.”

There is a reason to worry. Noa is out there in God knows what shape. Worst of all, you are losing touch with reality. Noa's not real, he's fixable. There is a feeling that has eclipsed your anger. Your sense of self is dwindling the more you are affected by this whole thing. Being attached to a doll, letting these people get the best of you, is wearing you down. You aren't this shrinking person. You aren't one to doubt your cause and here you are trying to push it away. The baby project feels like Shigaraki's touch, from the top of your head to the soles of your feet, you decay.

-

“How many times has this happened?”  

You say nothing. Recovery Girl sighs. “I knew this project was a bad idea.” 

Riko comes in with her hand rubbing her arm. She isn’t looking at you. Hesitantly, she asks, “Are you okay?”

The old hero answers for you. “She’s fine, physically. But I do suggest she rests for the rest of the day. Okay?” The old woman turns to you. “Noa will be fine. There are fully equipped people on the case.”

Recovery Girl pets your head soothingly. Her wrinkled lips move subtly. “This project has gone too far…”

“(Y/n),” Riko’s voice shakes. Right before she can continue, Snipe comes into the room. You sit up and wipe your face. Shouto hasn’t left your side the whole time. 

“We have some things we need to talk about now.” Snipe points his finger at you. “First off, what the hell were you doing to let him wander off like that?” He’s already yelled at you. What else does he want? 

Riko speaks up, “Snipe-” You wave your fingers. She immediately shuts up. Snipe looks between you two. “What, Riko? What were you about to say?”

She stares into your eyes. If you let her run her mouth, it will reflect negatively on her. With this investigation or whatever on Mineta, what happened will most likely be used against her. What if they let him back in? What if they don’t take anyone else seriously because she isn’t perfect? The heroes already have an opinion of you. They drew to the conclusion that you were at fault before anything was even looked into. 

You can’t let the truth be known. If they knew what you were doing during that time, it’d all be for nothing. You could always bring your grade up somehow and protect yourself from failure. But is your grade and vengeance worth what Benio, Kobeni and Noa are going through? If Riko is found out, what would happen to her and the class? To Noa? Even though what they are saying is hurting, you'll keep your mouth shut for your friends and your son.

Aizawa and Nezu come in after Snipe. Riko stands against the wall. Her left eye lets a single tear flow as you are berated for something you didn’t do. The sin you committed was leaving him in Riko’s care. Nineteen children were under her watch. You should’ve known better and not have her watch him. As Nezu scolds you for your actions, you can’t help but harbor resentment towards her and Noa. It's awful, you are an awful person for passing the blame. 

Mei comes in with Noa on her hip. Noa smiles wide and waves at everyone. Mei sets him down when he wiggles towards you. She walks quickly to Nezu and hands him a remote. She says nothing to you, nor does she acknowledge you. Something says that it isn’t from disappointment or anger, but dread. 

Noa excitedly begins to tell you about his day. “Mm! Kobeni-” He still won’t say ‘mom’. From the corner of your eye, you spot Snipe crossing his arms. You flinch at first. Noa, already three years old and aware of his surroundings, stops mid step. 

Nezu gestures. “Now is the time to explain what’s wrong.” They want you to scold him right now. He may not even know what he did wrong. In class, he knows he’s supposed to be calm. However, you never discouraged him from hanging out with his friends. To him, if you punish him, it may shock him immensely. You don't know what to do.

Noa’s slowly coming toward you, very aware of your expression. With a gentle and loving voice, you ask, “Noa, why did you run away? You weren’t supposed to go so far-”

“They are not allowed to leave unsupervised, (L/n).” Nezu is firm with his tone. Your lip wobbles when you look back at Noa, who is looking nervous. “Baby boy, next time you want to walk around, make sure I’m with you. Leaving like that could’ve gotten you hurt.”

He stomps his feet in protest. Eyes study the scene in front of them. Their judgment leaves an unwanted chill along your body that tenses from it. To your dismay, Noa notices. He stops his pouting, confused on why you are acting unusual.

“It’ll be okay, little love. But please, don’t do that again.” You rub his arms. 

“Mmm! It’s fun!�� You understand. It’s hard for a toddler to sit still. His intentions were good, no doubt. There's a difference with his behavior in this situation than in class. He doesn't know what he's done exactly. He hasn't been taught this yet. 

“(L/n),” Snipe calls in a low voice. “Tell Noa to stand still.” Nezu holds the remote with Mei’s chibi face on it. He’s doing it. 

“Is this really necessary?” Shouto places his hand on yours. You begin to shake. “Stop, please.” You whisper. Noa has his hands out. “Don’t cry!”

Nezu presses the button on the left. “Please, wait! Please!"

It’s too late. He who was once the tallest has lost inches of his height. His clothes are baggier too. Izuku just got him those Ingenium sneakers and now he’s flooding them.

Recovery Girl shakes her head. Her cold hands press on your body. Your gaze is set on Noa. She scolds the heroes. “You people really are cruel.” 

They say nothing. Instead, they just look at you. You can feel them study you. Shouto hasn't used his quirk, yet you are somehow frozen stiff.

Izuku comes in. His eyes find you first then Noa. “What?”

“Papa!” His voice is different, too. It sounds like how it was before. Izuku clearly notices. You can't bear to look him.

Nezu straightens up and separates his eyes from you. “Midoriya, we were just in the middle of talking with (L/n). If you want to talk to her, you must wait.”

His eyes dart around. He spies Shouto, his dear friend next to the bed with his arm around you. The vibrant greens then go to Riko who is plastered against the wall. Her state is worse than yours, maybe. The teachers speak in things you’re not understanding right now. 

“Is she in trouble?” He asks quietly. Nezu sighs but will not address you. He has lost his harsh tone. His small arms are behind his back. “This can’t be ignored. Her irresponsibility can’t go on.”

“No. If you are going to yell at her, you have to do it to me, too.”

“You weren’t there, Midoriya. I commend you for your initiative to find Noa and Kobeni today, but (L/n)’s responsible for her own actions. You can’t keep taking the blame for her.”

Ah. So he did get in trouble when Noa peed on Eraserhead. 

“I’m his dad. I’m just as responsible as she is.” He stands in front of you. “Midoriya, with all due respect, you aren’t his father.”

Snipes adds something stupid, “Which brings me to the other problem. Why is he answering to Noa Midoriya?”

Finally, you mutter with a voice that became raspy from your scream. “Because that’s his name.”

Aizawa cuts in. “No, he’s Kaibara’s son, (Y/n). I know what happened between you is upsetting, but that is his son. I completely understand distancing yourself from him. But the least you can do is include him in the report. The other mistake is putting Noa onto Midoriya.” His voice has lost its aggression. His head is lowered when he addresses you.

Izuku clenches his fists. “How much sense does that make? And she hasn’t kept Kaibara from him. He stays away.” Izuku interrupts them. “And I am Noa’s dad. That’s why he called me Papa. If Kaibara is upset about it, tell him to come to me and not run behind you.”

“Midoriya!” Eraserhead scolds. It doesn’t stop the god child. “My name may not be on the paper but that is my kid. I’m the one who raises him with (Y/n). Not Kaibara. If she’s in trouble, extend that to me. Us being treated the same is only fair."

“Her length of detention is indefinite. That’d get in the way of your work study.” Nezu points out. Izuku scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Look at Noa.” Reluctantly they look at the toddler. “What more can you do to her? What the hell is detention compared to that?”

With a gesture in your direction, he asks the nurse, “Is she alright?” Recovery Girl straightens up. Clearly, she’s not used to his authoritative voice. “Yes, she’s fine. I am suggesting she rests. And you,” She pokes you. “Tomorrow, I want you back here so I can check on you. If this isn’t the first time this has happened, I need to report it.”

  Your eyes are still focused on nothing but the distance. "All of us. Check all of us."

“What do you mean?” Snipe uncrosses his arms and takes a step forward. His mask is on and not a hint of his face is shown. You feel warm as everyone's eyes are on you. Last month you felt like your world was crumbling and today is the same. When this project started, you thought you’d be able to separate yourself enough to not get affected like this. Alas, it was a fool’s dream.

You get off the bed with Noa. Riko still stands there against the wall. Her eyes are glossy as she watches. She sucks in her lips then tries to confess. She’s losing it. She opens her mouth. “Wait, it was-”

With the simplest wave by your leg to stop her. Izuku’s eyes go from the movement next to your thigh to Riko’s expression. You walk out with Noa on your hip. He goes on about his day with Kobeni. Apparently, he was trying to find and introduce Yona and Ken but found an actual ladybug that looked like Yona and got distracted. You figured his intentions were pure.

In your room, you set Noa down. Your eyes have remained lowered, and you are silent. Izuku comes into the room after you and encourages Noa to play. 

“(Y/n).” You hum. “What really happened?” He questions. You shake your head and shrug. “I messed up. You heard everyone.” 

It hurts. What they say about you feels like hundreds of cuts. Seeing Noa regress in his age tore your heart.

“(Y/n), please.” You ignore him and sit down on your desk chair. Noa’s back is facing you, he’s completely oblivious to his parents and the year he lost. Deku stands in front of you and runs his hand through his green curls. Izuku gets on his knees. He slides you over to him and wraps his arms around your midsection. His face is against your stomach. “I’m sorry.”

You say nothing. He talks instead. “I blamed you and wrongly took my anger out on you. I’m so sorry, my dear.” Again, you don’t even give a whisper. He presses kisses on your stomach and works his way up. His hand cups your face to his wet cheek. “Forgive me. I’m so, so, sorry. It’ll never happen again.”

Sweet words from someone who doesn’t know the meaning. His other hand goes to your other cheek to pull you to his lips. Your eyes get big for a second until his lips are gently on your forehead. The pressure behind your eyes is appearing once again. “I’m a villain and a bad mom.”

His tears match yours. “Never. You are amazing. He would have never made it this far if it wasn’t for you. Do you understand? They are wrong. I was wrong.”

“He ran away, Izuku. He could’ve gotten hurt.” Your voice wobbles. He kisses your chin. “It was an accident. One that you didn’t do.”

Your breath hitches. “No, no, it was me.”

“Honey, I’m not blind. I saw you and Riko.” He rubs circles on your waist. You make contact with his eyes again. “Please, don’t say anything. If anyone asks, it was me.”

“Why?”

“There were some questions about Mineta or something. I don't know much about it.” You grab his arm. “She isn’t a perfect victim. What if they don’t take it seriously and let him back in? This could hurt her.”

Before he says anything, you interrupt him. “It was an accident. We came up with a system for a caregiver. One of us would watch the tots while the others study. We’d rotate the job and help each other with school! She came into the room and Noa and Kobeni snuck out. Izuku, please don’t tell. It was an innocent mistake. Noa’s learned to open doors, she didn’t expect it.”

He kisses your cheek. Since he started, he's been peppering kisses on you and avoiding your lips. Given the situation, you're grateful. 

“You are the kindest person I’ve ever met.” He sighs. “This is not happening again, understand?” Izuku wipes away the dampness on your face with his thumbs. He’s gotten very bold with you. Despite your usual snark towards him and the world, you can’t find it in you to push him away. Instead, you nestle into his comfort after this long day. Hopefully, this pain will subside, and you’ll never see those eyes again. You hope that rather than remembering what happened with Noa, you'll remember how you didn't kiss him then dream of what could've been. 

“You okay?” Noa comes from behind Izuku. Immediately, you straighten up and put a smile on your face for Noa. He frowns and raises his eyebrow. “You know what we should do?” Izuku leans into Noa’s ear. You don’t know what he’s said, but he pulls you down to the ground.

“What-oh no.” Him and Noa poke and tickle you. You laugh from the sensation but not from joy. At least Noa’s smiling and not scared anymore. 

--------

You lay down next to Noa who has reverted back to sleeping with you rather than his little bed. It’s terrible because of the lack of space in both the bed and the room. At least he’s still potty trained and isn’t having an accident in the bed.

The only light in the room is from Noa’s nightlight. The hero symbols that display on the ceiling from it disgust you. Most of these heroes you've never met and God willing, you never will. Izuku lays in bed with you with Noa in between you. “I’m so sorry.”

He's already said that. He presses, “Tell me what to do. Anything to make it better.” He caresses your face. Really, he didn't do something out of the ordinary for a parent. What's wrong is that he didn't question your guilt and didn't give you a chance to explain until afterwards. What's wrong was the way he looked at you. Because of that, there is something in your mind. He complimented you, yes, but you want his honesty. 

You ask him, “Am I a bad person?”

Are you wrong for your cause? What has been broken in you is turning into anger again. Are you wrong for your feelings? What happened today affected you and others. Was your longing for justice worth it if the results are shards? Your pride shouts for you to stand and start swinging but your mind keeps repeating everyone’s words like a song on a broken record. They all can kiss your ass, but Noa's smaller frame steals your scream. All of this, does it make you a bad person? Not just a mom, student, daughter and worker, but a human being?

“No. You aren’t bad. No matter what you try to show me, you could never be wrong. Except for with some of your homework.”

You smile a little. “I barely know you.” Yet there is something that says you do. Izuku's forehead touches yours. "I don't think it matters with us." He's gotten so bold, and you don't mind. His reassurance of his care is helping put what is broken back together, slowly. 

Your eyelids are growing heavy, and the pillow has gotten softer. Right before your light is out for the night, you hear in the distance, “As long as it’s you, do whatever you want.”

If these pieces you are mending together result into the same wrath as before, Izuku, would you still say that? Would your friendship stay?

@xoxoangellll @js-favnanadoongi @imas1mpp @candiiee @moodyhuesworld @dinorawrss @luvrluvrr @bigchungusdrinksspritecranberry @d4n1elll4

if i didn't get you, let me know!

[cryinhell]

No one asked, but here's my updated top ten hellaverse ships (both canon and not)

10) Stella x Striker

What can I say? I love an evil couple. I think these two look pretty hot together, and it's interesting how Striker seems to respect Stella despite hating blue bloods. These two aren't canon, but I wouldn't mind if they were

9) RadioRose

Despite having mixed feelings on Alastor, I think these two are just so cute. Either as a couple or just queer platonic partners, I don't care. Rosie seems to be the only person to make Alastor genuinely smile, and she's the only one who can touch him. There's a special bond there I really like

8) Verosika Mayday x Wally Wackford

So this is the biggest crack ship on this list, but I think in theory, it's so cute. I really want Verosika to be happy, and Wally, despite being a bit of a scammer, is really sweet. I'm totally cool with Verosika ending up with Barbie as well, but I slightly prefer Wally. I wonder if they will have more interactions in future episodes.

7) Fizzmodeus

Is this controversial? Probably. I know Fizzarolli and Asmodeus are so loved in this fandom, so putting them at number 7 is awful...but they aren't my favorite. I do like them, and I think they're really cute! I just have ships I like more, but that doesn't take away how sweet these two can be. Sometimes obnoxiously sweet heh. So yeah, no disrespect to these two

6) M&M

So these two were at first kinda meh for me, but over time, I've grown to love them. They have a pretty healthy relationship, and I always hate when someone bothers Millie for marrying Moxxie or saying Moxxie isn't a good enough husband. These two clearly love and respect each other and clearly grow together with every episode.

5) Staticmoth

Like I said, I love an evil couple. Valentino is a monster, and Vox is deplorable. That doesn't stop me from loving them as a couple and thinking they are cute. I think they both should die, but also would be sad cause come on, they're cute together.

4) Cherrisnake

I love Sir Pentious, I love Cherri Bomb, so obviously, them together is a fun pair. I shipped these two before the show came out and was so excited to see Pen having a crush on Cherri. They kinda remind me of the early versions of M&M, but they need a lot more time. Cherri isn't ready to accept love, and Sir Pentious is well...in a different world. I can't wait to see these two develop and become an actual couple.

3) Adamsapple

So this and Lucilith could be here. Lucifer being happy is the main objective, and its Adamsapple is so fun. They clearly have a history, and there's a lot of feelings. If Adam comes back in season 2, I'd love to see this be fleshed out. I doubt they'd be a couple, but maybe friends? Who knows. I'm fine with this one not being canon, and just something fun in the fandom

2) Stolitz

Stoltiz is pretty important to me because it really got me involved in the fandom. I've been watching Helluva Boss since the beginning, but episode one of season two had me from casual watcher to actual fan. Blitzø is one of the characters I really relate to, and Stolas is just a really well written character. I love the development of these two and they are worth waiting for. I really gotta draw some fanart of them because they are everything

1) Huskerdust

Are you surprised? You must be new. These two are my everything and all time otp in the Hellaverse. I've talked so much about why I love them, and I will continue to do so until I can't any longer. Angel and Husk are not only my favorite characters individually, but their growing friendship and eventual relationship are just so ughhhh. I love these losers, and they will always be number one.

Thanks for reading my nonsense

Have a good one 💜💜

[fuji09]

Thank y'all both so much for what y'all added!

So many people don't understand that survival mode, isn't something easily overcome when you're in it for years. And Derek was in it for 6 years before we first met him. His fight or flight (and freeze!) response is literally why he reacts the way he does.

He sometimes fights, especially with hunters or the supernatural, it can be kill or be killed, with Kate and hunters, and sometimes just the people around him, he flees.

He looks scared so many times, he puts himself in danger to try to keep others from dying so many times, and he really is just a scared boy.

I hate that they changed his age, 19 was perfect for him. Him being 21 isn't too bad, plus it makes the trauma so much worse that he literally isn't a functioning adult 6 years later.

Derek is betrayed so many times that it's kinda gross. Derek can't risk trusting the wrong person again.

Derek keeps being hurt but because of his age, people don't care. Because he's a guy, he wasn't really raped. Derek keeps being blamed for everything because he's the only person that isn't allowed to fuck up, even though he does fuck up a lot. Derek is obviously power hungry because he killed Peter instead of *checks notes* letting a traumatized boy who was bitten against his will that doesn't want to be a werewolf and knows nothing about being a werewolf, in love with a hunter's daughter, would not be able to mentally handle killing someone, and has been a werewolf for like a few months and would not be able to handle being an alpha werewolf or handle more power than he already has trouble with, kill Peter because a rumor says killing the one who bit you could possibly turn you back to human.

Derek was traumatized, Derek was used and abused, Derek had to mercy kill his first love, Derek lost his entire family in the fire and feels guilty for it, Derek loses his last family member, Laura, who is also his alpha and probably the only person who actually interacted with him for 6 years, and Derek has been tortured, raped, and sexually assaulted.

But Derek isn't allowed to make mistakes because he isn't a minor. Derek isn't allowed to have ugly symptoms of PTSD because he's expected to just get over it. Derek isn't allowed to be scared because he should know better.

Derek literally feels he has to be useful to someone to be worthy of kindness.when he tells Scott he needs him alive to survive the hunters or tells Stiles he needs him alive to protect him from the Kanima, he's literally pleading with them to not let him die. Because they need him alive. Not because it's the right thing to do or because they care, but because Derek has to be of use for them to trust in these two teens that they won't let him die.

And I feel that's how a lot of people see Derek. He has to be useful to anyone and everyone all the time (whether he has the ability to do so or not) and if he's not or he makes a mistake, then clearly he deserves all the bad shit he gets.

It's heartbreaking. The lack of empathy for Derek in the show and within the fandom is appalling.

Derek Hale has PTSD. I think people tend to forget that he wasn't an ass for the hell of it. He put up a rough asshole front to protect himself. He has the ugly symptoms of PTSD. Does it excuse some of his actions? No. But he does deserve some understanding and empathy.

No matter what age you see him as, he just isn't a 'grown ass man'. He had no idea how to take care of himself. He was still mentally that 15 year old who lost everything and was traumatized beyond reason.

Derek continuously kept being kicked while he was down. The poor guy couldn't catch a break. Like have a heart y'all. He was never a villain. An antagonist at one point, yes. Villain, no.

Trauma literally rewires your brain, and that poor kid got enough trauma before the first episode. Derek needed lots of therapy, he needed friends, and he needed a pack.

Derek could literally trust no one. Not because he didn't want to, but because he couldn't. He tried his best with what he had, which wasn't much, and he fucked up at times. But he kept trying to do and be better.

[sketchehm]

[ #my guess if that Serpias wanted to kill the guy much earlier#like. when he asked Sapnap about the numbers there was this sharp clever glint in his eyes and then this dickhead RUINED IT#no one outside the mafia should be able to precieve or talk to Sapnap ever Serpias thinks#Sapnap has been trained to stand his ground and not escalate a situation because in Dream's family everything was like defusing a bomb#cuts had to be precise and you couldn't be picking fights#here Team Mafia *really* wanna see Sapnap kill a guy with his bare hands and teeth#also. aughhhh Sapnap probably hates talking sooooo much.#because Dream also really valued his opinion but he didnt need to *talk*#he would just look at him and Dream would get it#but now he has to explain everything and its clunky and bad. so he talks less ] @rat-rosemary

[ #aaaaa i want to see the rest of team mafia too for their reactions about sapni#i bet they would cheering sapnap if he kill a guy and sapnap is confused af if he messep up or something ] @lazy30

Hello hi guys hehe

SO! The Team did actually call dibs to see who would get to watch Sapnap kill first. They’re excited by it! 

(Shadoune saying he already won cause he’s watched Sapnap beat people to death in some of the underground fights, but that doesn’t count. Shadoune fights with them that it does. No one listens to him lmao)

Sapnap is in… “training”…..with them for about a month, learning how the Team works and getting to know everyone. (That month is all he needs to fall in love with them….) However, actually going out onto the field is a whole different story.

Serpias did end up winning the Team’s gambling match to get Sapnap’s first kill haha. The asshole they’re going out to meet was already marked for dead, they found out that he’s been scamming some of the lower associates and Serpias was already tasked to investigate and take the guy out. Sapnap is just his +1 hehe (None of this is explained to Sapnap…which proves to be the cause of many issues…)

So Sapnap was kinda right in thinking this was a kind of “training”. He didn’t…fail per say. Serpias just got pissed off and couldn’t hold back.(That's /his/ Sapni. Its what he tells the others, he couldnt help himself.) Though, Serpias will report back to the other guys and says that Sapnap was extremely passive for most of the interaction. Which is…not the Sapnap they’ve gotten to know so far. He’s loud and cocky. Yes he’s smart and they know he could take on a more leadership position if he keeps learning under them directly (they know he was in charge of his own division at the least when with Dream, so they know he can hold those kinds of responsibilities). They think maybe just cause it was his first time? (They know that’s not true. Especially Serpias, having witnessed Sapnap speak with the bastard..Sapnap was way more professional than he’d given him credit for. It’s not what they’re looking for in him though.)

After a few times of going out with the guys and Sapnap not…being their reactive aggressive attack dog, they just start putting him in more….dangerous situations. Nothing they know will harm him seriously, but they need to see what actually gets him to /kill/. They’re eager for it, almost desperate. They’re all killers, Shadoune knows for sure Sapnap is one too. But they’re wondering if maybe that’s just not the kind of guy Sapnap might be? There seems to be a kind of switch flipped in Sapnap whenever they go out on business with him…

Sapnap…well he can tell something’s up. And he feels like he’s doing something wrong….He’s still not exactly used to how they operate, he’s not used to tagging along and having to speak up as well too…He assumes it’s them trying to get him to learn Spanish faster, but he’s shy and hates the idea of stumbling on his words and embarrassing not only himself, but whoever he’s tagging along with. And every outing he’s a part off, the other guy is always an asshole, there seems to be no shortage of them. He wonders if it's because the Team’s territory is so much larger and that’s why there just seems to be more idiots they have to deal with…The Team are the only group he’s comfortable talking back to (when the time calls for it) and just being himself. He’s had years of learning on how to act when with dealers and opposing mafiosos. It was always a pain having to tiptoe and figure out what dance each guy wanted. And its even worse here cause he doesn’t even understand what the other party will be saying. He misses Dream the most during this. Dream was always so much better at speaking than him, always knew what Sapnap wanted to say and expressed it for him…..

Sapnap did pick up on the pattern that anytime he’s with someone from the Team and they’re out to meet some other asshole, the guy ends up dead. Maybe it's his fault? Maybe he can’t get his words out correctly and the business deals fall flat cause of it? Sapnap has seen his fair share of corpses, caused many deaths himself, but it feels odd. He feels guilty.

He also picked up on the pattern that he seems to be a sort of punching bag at these meetings. Not a physical one per say… It’s never to whoever he’s with, only he seems to be the target. He can understand most insults and while it seems to be just common to use them every other word, the opposing person always seems to be directly insulting or mocking him. He tries not to mind. Though it does start to get to him, wondering if the Team are doing this on purpose. Maybe he isn’t their beloved guard dog….these meetings are just a reminder he’s only a mutt to them, useless…and then they force him to talk just to add onto the embarrassment…

The Team are slowly noticing Sapnap becoming more reserved even with them. The worst they’ve seen Sapnap do is break someone’s wrist after they tried to take a punch at him, but never kill. (He even refused to leave his room after that meeting too. They all were distressed.) Anytime a gun was pulled on Sapnap, he always managed to disarm the person and asked for the meeting to continue. It was extremely frustrating for the Team.

They decide maybe enough with taking him out. There’s something they’re clearly not figuring out. It’ll be Shadoune and Conter who end up actually speaking with Sapnap and asking about everything. But Sapnap is not….the best with his words in English either…. When with Dream and George, they all just /knew/. It was from years of growing up together. Sapnap doesn’t know how to explain himself and ends up just saying he’s….shy….he won’t tell them about his anxieties, he thinks its dumb, he rarely ever shared them with Dream or George.

“Ah! Espera, yo pienso que está estresado porque cada compromiso ya está marcado a fallar, y él no lo sabe.”

When the two reveal to Sapnap they’re not gonna be taking him out anymore, it's basically confirming his anxieties. They’re gonna kick him out cause he’s worthless. He’s gonna have to return to Dream empty handed too, having failed him as well….Sapnap can feel himself spiraling. He begs for another chance. He’ll practice his Spanish more, he can make a deal go well, he promises!

Conter says something to Shadoune that Sapnap doesn’t understand at all. Shadoune looks like he’s realized something as well…

Shadoune chuckles before saying, “Ya, ya, entiendo. Pues..que vaya con Farfa mañana, no?”

Sapnap recognized something about tomorrow and Farfa…? He’s never been out with Farfa before. Fuck if they’re sending him out with Farfa that’ll be worse he thinks….

”Farfadox…?”

They both look at him. He feels nervous.

“Yea, tomorrow. It will be good for you!” Conter looks excited by this. Shadoune is nodding in agreement.

”O-okay.” He won’t refuse an order. Not right now. Not when he’s feeling…like /this/. He won’t fail Farfa tomorrow. He swears it to himself….

And when the time finally comes, it’s… easier…? Farfa is making sure Sapnap knows what’s happening in this meeting. Explaining everything in English. But isn’t asking him for an opinion. He’s not being asked to speak. It’s such a relief.

The meeting is wildly different to what he’s used to. Everyone is curt, straight to the point. There is no yelling or arguing, the opposing party barely looks at him, he’s practically ignored. He counts his blessings.

Sapnap is trying to calculate everything in his head and tries to take note to as much as he can….There’s a small detail he notices that he thinks Farfa may have missed. It must mean nothing but….it’s screwing with his internal calculations, something is /wrong/. He doesn’t think these type of people would try to wrong Farfa either…? The environment is so different from what he’s been going through recently, nothing wrong is /happening/, its all so professional, like when he accompanies Dream…but even Dream has missed some vital but almost ignorable detail in contracts before. 

“Farfa…?” He interrupted the two. They were speaking about something, he thinks the meeting was about to close…? But…he needs to make sure first. 

Farfadox is looking at him, expectedly. Not annoyed, patient, it helps builds Sapnap’s confidence. He can do Farfa proud.

“El…uh. Uno dos tres cuatro cinco... says….siete..? El siete uh pa...page? Es mal. Número malo? I think…?”

He gets through his broken spanish and looking from his hands where he was trying to recall his numbers, looks back at Farfa. There’s a small grin on Farfa’s face. Sapnap feels like a kid…..

Farfa understood though. He goes to the 7th page of the contract, its the one that had a listing for some new drug Sapnap has never heard of. But he swore the listing for weight compared to the amount of product they were supposed to receive for their men to sell was…off? And that caused the pricing to skew drastically in his head. He looked over Farfa’s shoulders, reading the numbers himself to make sure he wasn’t wrong and he wasn’t! 

He pointed to the discrepancy, “Aquí! Aquí!”

He noticed Farfa’s brows frown. He looked back at the dealers. So did Sapnap. They were looking at Sapnap, angry. Oh. Did he mess this up again….? Surely not though…

Farfa starts talking, his voice is louder than it was before. It booms. The dealer is raising his voice too, Sapnap assume’s trying to justify the error or something. Now they’re arguing. Fuck, he really does just cause issues….

He’s watching the dealer. He’s furious, his face is red and staring at Farfa. He’s cursing, Sapnap can tell. Farfa is looking back at the contract, continuing to argue. He notices…the dealer’s hands are going into his jacket….

His head is yelling DangerDangerDangerDANGER.

It’s dead quiet now.

Sapnap shoots. Not even realizing he’s taken his own gun out. 

”Sapnap.” He jumps and drops his gun. He’s fucked it up again. It’s worse now. He /killed/ someone. He wasn’t ordered to. He hasn’t been ordered to kill anyone this entire time and now he fucked it up. Oh fuck. Oh /fuck/.

”/Sapnap/.”

There’s hands on his face, “Mira me, mira Sapnap. Respira, breathe.” He’s locking eyes with Farfa now. His hands are gentle. Farfa is smiling.

”He was- He was gonna shoot. He- I saw him. He-“

“Ya, ya. Te creo.” Farfa believes him. Good. Good… Farfa is so nice to him right now. He’ll take it. He knows he’s in trouble. He’ll soak it all in. Before…before whatever punishment they decide (He hopes it’ll just be a punishment. He hopes it isn’t worse)

“Good job. Buen perro.” Sapnap lights up. Oh. Oh! He knows that means he did good. Like really good! They rarely ever say that to him. He doesn’t think he’s ever heard Farfa say it himself.

Its crazy how all his worries seem to vanish from the past few weeks. Like just that small reassurance was all he needed. He did good. He smiles.

“Hermoso.”

Sapnap doesn’t know that word.

“Casa?” He asks instead. Farfa laughs.

Sapnap will be getting settled to go to bed when the rest of the members rush into his room(except Spreen he realizes. But he’s at the doorway with Farfa smiling at him). They’re basically dogpiling him. Cooing at him and hugging him and petting and praises and kissing and snuggles and he doesn’t understand, he doesn't get it. 

He slowly realizes they’re all congratulating him. His first kill. His first kill? He tries to tell them he’s killed before. They don’t listen to him. They start talking about setting up a fight with him, so they could all watch next time. Sapnap feels his face getting red. They're all gushing over him....But! He feels like its been forever since they’ve all mobbed him like this. He feels so warm. 

(The next morning he gets breakfast in bed. It all feels very silly to him)

[madou-dilou]

"Hey uncle Scar, when I'm king, what does that make you ?" "A monkey's uncle."

bonus under the cut

[young-botanical-genius]

You don't have to be sorry... Seymour felt a pang of guilt for making Audrey feel the need to apologize, but knew that it was probably for the best that they didn't touch too much on the topic of his past. Perhaps someday, if he was lucky, he would feel secure enough to reveal to her all about his life under the sea, about the time he had rescued her from the shipwreck, and about how he had gained the means to come up onto the shore with her. But for now, it seemed a much too complicated subject to try and discuss.

He shook his head once more at her rambling attempts to resolve the potential misunderstanding of her question, although this time, the gesture was accompanied by a soft, reassuring squeeze of her hand. They're not silly! He hated when she would talk about herself like that-- like even the most mundane things she did or said were boring or foolish or meaningless. She did it quite often, and it never failed to puzzle him. How could she possibly think that way?

They're perfectly good questions. He wanted to say, instead opting to give her a small, sad smile in a further attempt at comfort. You deserve to know the answers, and I really, really wish I could tell you everything... but I can't. His free hand rose to brush absentmindedly over his own throat, and he felt himself longing more than ever to have his voice returned to him... even if only for a minute, even if only just to have been able to tell her how wonderful she was and how much he loved her.

His mind drifted to the subject of how much time he had left to spend with her, and his heart sunk at the realization that, provided that he didn't get the kiss needed to keep his human form forever, he only had a few more days left with his legs. After that, it was likely that the two of them would never see each other again, as they would once more be divided by the boundaries of land and sea, and potentially even those of life and death, depending on what sort of horrible fate awaited Seymour if he failed to fulfill the terms of the deal.

The thought alone was nearly enough to make him burst into tears right then and there, but he knew that it would do neither of them any good for him to start crying now. Their interaction had already become awkward enough-- it was clear that they both needed some sort of distraction from the heaviness of their feelings.

A pop of color in his peripheral vision suddenly caught his eye, and he turned his head to see a single, beautiful white lily growing near the banks of the lagoon. Finding that their boat was near enough to the shore and floating slowly enough that he could reach out and pluck it straight from the ground, he leaned over and did just that, proceeding to offer the delicate bloom out to Audrey with a grin of newfound enthusiasm on his face. This is for you.

@young-botanical-genius

Audrey focused on the even back and forth of the paddles through the water as she steered her and her new friend toward the little spot in the lagoon she liked to escape to. She stole glances at the curly haired man across from her, trying not to blush. She knew she had no place taking a liking to this fellow who had seemingly washed up ashore a few nights ago…but his smile was so sweet and his eyes so deep and brown, she couldn’t help herself. But still, she kept it reserved, knowing in a few days time she’d be married off to some prince she had never met. She frowned, scolding herself for being so negative about it. Any prince would be better than the last one she was arranged to marry — but he had drowned in a mysterious shipwreck, one she had nearly met the same fate in, sending the kingdom into a scramble to find her a husband.

The pair turned around a corner into a little pool, surrounded by trees and vines. Moss grew over large boulders and fireflies twinkled in the air. The whole place put Audrey’s troubled mind at ease. “It’s so peaceful, isn’t it?” She smiled warmly, already knowing not to expect a verbal answer. He hadn’t said a word since he’d appeared on the beach, but Audrey didn’t mind. She found that there were other ways you could communicate with someone, and it was a nice change from the men who found every excuse to shut her up and talk over her. She stole another glance at the man across from her, hoping to find that he found her hideaway just as wondrous as she did. “I love comin’ here when I wanna get away for a bit…nobody else in the palace knows about it”.

[hermitcraftx]

just got a dm abt one of my posts and y'all please don't try and show the hermits (or any minecraft youtuber or content creator for that matter) my posts, i'm uncomfortable with it and don't want any of my posts shown to a cc. if they stumble upon it naturally that's unfortunate but i can live with it since i do maintag a lot (something i REALLY need to stop doing tbh i already know i need to make a tagging system just for my blog that wont clog results) but going out of ur way to show a cc is entirely different and something i am not comfortable with.

no hate to the person at all but even if i wasn't a little silly and weird with it sometimes i wouldn't be comfortable with it, i want my blog to be a purely fandom only space with none of the creators involved <3 please respect this

[a-lonely-dunedain]

I hate the Staghorns so much. every time I do their questline to get that painting I think "oh surely it's not going to make me mad this time around" and YET

[pa-pa-plasma]

one of the things that will always destroy me is people believing that good story = darker/more mature/more sexual. this belief has ruined so many stories that could have been amazing & has prevented almost everyone from enjoying other really good stories simply because the age range it's aimed at is one they believe can't have complex themes, characters, plot, etc etc. they don't believe they can be moved by something a publisher or studio decided is for kids & so write it off without even thinking about it. biggest curse of being a writer who actually loves stories & telling them is that literally no one else cares in the most pessimistic, higher-than-thou, capitalism brainrot way you can imagine. & it's all automatic. because that's just what you're taught.

[awakefor48hours]

My grade school teachers: Be careful of your thoughts, for they become your words…

Me, neurodivergent and has millions of intrusive thoughts:

warning: I talk about my intrusive thoughts in the tags

[cowboy-robooty]

not going to name names bc thats messed up but omfg i was tryna find records of old heta fandom shit to show inu right and i found a hetalia iceberg and I SAW MY 2019 OPP ON THERE. IT WAS SO FUCKING FUNNY LIKE MY EYES BULGED OUT OF MY SKULL BECAUSE IM NOT EVEN JOKING I HATED THIS BITCH SO MUCH WHEN I WAS 14 AND NGL I STILL HATE HER. I DIDNT SAY NOTHING AND KEPT CURTIOUS AND NORMAL OBVIOUSLY BUT ON THE INSIDE I WANTED HER ASS DEAD EVERYDAY AND WELL... you all know im never in the loop with things and had no fucking clue that she was just the antichrist for an entire group of people lol. SHE WAS MY ANTICHRIST THO. I HATED HER AND SHE HATED ME OKAY AND IM LIKE RODF SEEING HOW SHES ON THE FUCKING HETALIA ICEBERG I WAS LIKE OMG.... I THOUGHT ONLY I FUCKING DESPISED HER