#and do I need to say how much I hate their only interaction

[stargatesg-1obsessed]

As someone who has only started writing this year, I feel this. I feel the pressure of feeling like I have to write just as good as some of my really good writer mutals or like the books i read, but in reality, they've been doing it for years, and I've just started. I don't need to be as good as them because I'm just going to end up critising myself for being a beginner writer and not having all the talent straight away, and that's just stupid.

All the feedback I've gotten on my fanfics has been wonderful. They're all really lovely people, and they're supportive even if the writing sucks because that's just what you do. It someone's writing is bad, don't point it out. If it bothers you that much, don't read it! I personally would much rather have one less hit on a fic than have someone be hateful in the comments. There is just no need for it. If you want to give them some tips, go for it. But don't be rude about it, especially when that person isn't a writer but is still judging them.

The whole point of fanfic is to have your own creative freedom, with the characters you love. And if your writing isn't as good as someone else's, or it doesn't sound as good as a book you've read, it doesn't matter!! All writers have off days, even the really talented ones with really popular books/fics. No one should critise you for your writing. They don't have the right. The only time it is semi acceptable is when you ask someone to beta a fic for you. And even then, it's not for critising. It's for helping out with any mistakes, typos, ooc dialogue, etc etc. You're not there to judge them, you're there to help them.

So please, if you see a fic with writing, that could be better, either support them, or just don't say anything. Because I know that writers need criticism sometimes, but what we really need is support. And if there is something you want to point out, say something simple like; "Loved this fic! Really loved how the characters interacted!! :D Although I think I saw a little typo towards the end when it says "the entire planet," I think you meant to put "the entire plane,". But it's not that big a deal, and we all make mistakes :))".

That's based on a comment I got from someone on AO3 who helped me out majorly with a typo. It changed the entire sentence and didn't make any sense otherwise. And they really saved me there.

But if you're going to say something rude like; "at the end, when you put "the entire plane," instead of what I think you meant to put which is "the entire planet," it really messed up the fic and it makes no sense." Then just don't point it out because I'm sure someone else with kinder words will.

Fanfic writers don't need to be as good as professional authors!!! Just have fun and create what you want, and what makes you happy. Don't be scared to post something because it's practise. We all do it, and we'll all improve if we have practising. Don't let someone else's harsh words stop you for doing what brings you joy.

At some point "fanfic can be as good as professional writing" became "fanfic should be as good as professional writing" and that's caused major damage to fandom spaces.

[sandraharissa]

I think one of the many things wrong with Jinx this season is how like, half of her personality was cut off and thrown out.

Like her reaction to grief. We see her suicidal after Silco’s death and she’ll be again very suicidal after Isha’s death. Makes sense. Don’t have notes on that part. However I have so much notes on her rage. In s1 we see Powder sometimes responding to bad situation by being shy and sad, but sometimes she reacts in a more adversarial way, like complaining they should try fighting Piltover or trying to stand up to Mylo. But we also get these moments like when she’s left behind and has an absolute meltdown and starts wrecking shit but more importantly her reaction to Silco. He says they’ll show them all and she throws the audience the most rage fueled look you’ve ever seen. When really pushed beyond her limits this is Powder’s emotional reaction to tragedy/being wronged. We see that all throughout acts II and III and we see it when she blows up the council after Silco dies. And that’s the problem cos that’s the part that’s missing from s2. They cut her personality in half and only kept one half. Anger as part of her personality and reaction to grief was discarded when writing her in s2. Even tho she goes through a lot of grieving in s2.

Another example is Isha. Jinx prioritizing family and just chilling? Wanting affectionate interactions with family? Having an easier relationship with a younger family member cos there aren’t any expectations or need to prove anything or gain anyone’s attention? No fear of abandonment/betrayal? She just has this kid who hero worships her and follows her around like a puppy so no stress? No notes. However I have a lot of notes about Jinx’s paranoia and how not normal and possessive and toxic she is about relationships. And I have notes on the generational trauma. Where did all that go? That’s not how ppl work. Living in a messed up society and Silco’s parenting won’t just evaporate like that cos Isha is just so overwhelmingly cute. It’s more likely that Jinx would corrupt the kid. (which you could argue on paper she does cos the kid in the end thought that suicide was dope but why did the narrative frame it as this beautiful thing lol)

And on the topic of fighting Piltover where did “we beat the enforcers with just the four of us imagine what the whole Lanes could do” go? Jinx definitely prioritized family more but she wasn’t neutral or indifferent on the Piltover matter. The enforcers wrong her/hurt her/threaten her family yet again, they kidnapped Isha, and she just acts panicked and sad, but also jokes and quips while on the mission. Where’s the rage and hatred and desire for revenge on the ppl who wronged her? Sometimes it’s just ppl around her being mean or lying or smth, anyone could be her enemy, like Sevika, Silco or Vi, but a lot of the time it’s Piltover, they killed her parents, they were her fathers’ enemies and drove them to hate each other, they chased them as kids and tried to arrest them, they kidnapped and abused Vi in prison all her adolescence, they would have killed Vi so she blew up the whole blockade, Council tried to turn Silco against her and now he’s dead so she bombs them, all her life she can see that the quality of their life is bad bcos of Piltover, she’s in Jayce’s apartment and immediately goes for the sandwich. Jinx doesn’t come off as a very politically/ideologically motivated character but what happened to all her personal beef with Piltover?

They also inexplicably just ceased to write her fucking up all the time. what about her y’know, being a jinx? In s1 even in acts II and III when she is proficient in fighting and bomb-making they still constantly show her being more of a burden and fucking up in other ways. While never explained (which was good) to me it came off as a symptom of trauma and being neurodivergent, like how ADHD kids can’t escape the allegations that they’re lazy, but on a meta level it did make it feel like she was supernaturally cursed. Part of what felt so profound and empowering about s1 finale and her embracing being jinx it that it was her embracing that she’s different (and ‘wrong’ in some ways) and can never live a happy life in the society she lives in and so she lashes out. Now she just chills and nothing ever doesn’t go her way (ig until Isha died but that wasn’t even directly her fault, Isha just acted on her own choice and agency). Suddenly her mental issues don’t exist or get in the way of her socializing and being a part of society. This bigoted, violent and unfair society.

Don’t even get me started on her mannerisms. Remember how she would bite her lip? I’m not sure if she does that even once in s2. “Sister, thought I missed her”??? let Jinx rhyme sometimes and in general say weird shit, not one-liners.

So the only way for the writers to have Jinx do nothing, heal up completely and just chill with a kid in her lair (and really everything else she does (or doesn’t do) this season) is to get rid of half of her personality, the traits that would dictate she take action and feel wrath and lash out/hurt her loved ones in the process.

All of her tragic traits from s1 that made her Jinx were just erased, not changed throughout the course of an arc, absent from the get go, so that they can have her say that Jinx is dead and have it make sense in the context of s2 cos from her very first appearance is s2 this Jinx was devoid of pretty much all of her jinx-y character traits from s1.

[familiarscars]

Lost In Control | Bad Omens | CHAPTER 06

adult content | minors do NOT interact.

⋆ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆. Bad Omens X ex-girlfriend and singer!Reader.

⋆ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. You and Noah had a difficult ending but you still need to support each other for the band.

⋆ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆(𝐒). melancholy, ex-boyfriends, difficult relationships, alcohol abuse, swearing, drug addiction, violence.

It's okay to not agree with the characters' attitudes during the fic. It's good to remember that the story is fiction from the author's sick mind and of course they will make dubious decisions according to my fantasies. Nothing is done to be compared to reality.

NOAH

Prisons are noisy.

I went through the security check and was ready for the visit, waiting in a room with several tables where emotional family members awaited their loved ones who could walk through that door at any moment. The minutes on the clock with hands, hanging on the wall in front of me, moved with hypnotizing slowness.

Tick. Tock.

It didn’t take long for her to come, hands restrained by handcuffs and wearing an orange jumpsuit. Not very different from her daughter in physical appearance, even though the daughter was much prettier. I saw her neck stretch as she searched the room for someone she knew, and when she spotted me sitting there waving with a small smile, her posture stiffened.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Crystal barked, sitting in a chair across from me. Without any manners, she didn’t even say good morning.

"I found this in a pile of mail and saw you needed a visit." I signaled with the paper between my fingers. Opportunities rarely landed so easily in my lap, but this one was worth thanking the gods for.

"But it wasn’t your visit I asked for! Where is my daughter?"

"Was there a problem with your watch? You’re nine years late to ask if she’s found a place to live!"

"That’s none of your business!"

"Everything concerning her is my business. Don’t be ridiculous!" I said, loosening my tone slightly.

Crystal looked around uneasily. Her nails were dirty with soil, and she looked sweaty—I guessed it was from the prison’s activities. Clearly, the days here weren’t treating her well, judging by her expression and the size of her dark circles.

"How did you end up here?" I asked, tilting my head to the side. "No… wait! Let me guess! This is definitely your idiot boyfriend's fault, isn't it?

"I need to talk to my daughter," she completely ignored my sarcasm and dragged the chair closer to the table.

"Don’t tell me you’re hoping for her help to get out of here?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.

Her silence made it inevitable for me to burst into laughter, shaking my head slowly. Leaning forward, I rested on my elbows on the table to speak as quietly as possible.

"You know when I’ll let you get near her again?" I whispered into her wide eyes. "Do you think I don’t know what you’re trying to do? You realized you’re alone, and she might be your only source of money and a ticket out of here. Only for you to then go after that man and keep ranting about her on social media like a lunatic, giving even more material for the people who hate her to make her life a hell!"

It was impossible not to notice the sudden change in her expression. With me, she could show her true face without hesitation. Playing the victim wouldn’t work.

"And what makes you think you have the right to come here and tell me what to do?" she questioned, lifting her chin as if she were in a position to challenge me. "I don’t think we’re that different when you took advantage of my daughter’s open door to keep destroying the little she had left!"

"EVERYTHING THAT FUCKED HER HEAD UP UNTIL NOW IS YOUR FAULT!" I spat, pointing a finger at her. From the corner of my eye, I saw the guard adjust his position as the conversation escalated. "No matter what I did to fix it, you always seemed to be there like a damn shadow to remind her where she came from!"

"I’m sorry if you wasted nine years of your life, boy."

Suddenly, that sentence felt like a shock through a high-voltage wire, and I stood frozen, staring at the apathetic face of the woman in front of me. I couldn’t say for sure if I had wasted nine years of my life while we were together, when I knew nothing but her. No other feelings, no other touch—nothing that didn’t come from her. All because I refused to live something different, something that didn’t include her, even if it meant facing hell every day.

I blinked a few times and clenched my fists before my thoughts could drag me into a place I couldn’t return from now.

"If it’s up to me, you’ll rot in this place, and I’ll do everything to keep her further away from any news about you."

Crystal swallowed hard, her fingers fidgeting nervously, tensing as my presence loomed over her. I leaned down to leave one last message in her ear.

"And I’m sure you’re still in touch with that boyfriend of yours. Don’t forget to tell him he can’t keep running from me forever," I whispered with satisfaction, hiding a little laugh.

Slowly, I straightened up and looked down at her one last time, seeing her as still as a statue, staring blankly at the table. I stepped back gradually and walked toward the exit, dreaming of the moment I’d finally rid myself of that place with its strange smell.

When I arrived at the studio, the band was in their respective spots, rehearsing on their own. Everyone was laughing at something that quickly lost its charm the moment I crossed the door, as if a dark cloud had invaded their colorful world.

Chewing my gum with more intensity, I hardened my expression as soon as I saw Landon sitting on one of the stools, like an audience interacting with the performance on the small stage in the center of the room.

I didn’t miss for a second that his eyes—and his stupid, unfunny jokes—were directed at one single person, who seemed to find joy in even the wind brushing through her hair. I shot him a brief glare that could have pierced his body while the energy drink can in my palm seemed to disappear under my grip. We worked at the same record label. He was the owner's son and the vocalist of some irrelevant band. Naturally, we didn’t get along.

“You’re late, Noah!” The lone feminine voice broke our eye contact, and I turned to join the others. I didn’t bother looking at her directly, but out of the corner of my eye, I watched her adjusting her guitar while he couldn’t take his eyes off her.

More precisely, off her long, tattooed legs, exposed by a short plaid skirt.

“I’ve got a watch,” I replied.

An awful silence filled the room in seconds, and Folio broke it with a casual drumbeat, a habit whenever we traded jabs.

“And you, Landon?” I asked while checking the microphone setup. “Don’t you have anything better to do? I remember booking this space just for my band today.”

“No one complained about me being here before. We’re just hanging out, chatting, man. Don’t tell me you’re gonna cry about it,” he said, smirking. “Ruffilo was giving me a few tips.”

It felt like my face had been plunged into a tub of lava, the heat rising so fiercely in my cheeks. If the mic stand could talk, it would probably beg me to stop gripping it so tightly.

“I don’t see any problem with Landon watching the rehearsal.” Strangely, she seemed overly agreeable today, her sultry tone almost convincing if I weren’t paying attention. Actually, I knew perfectly well why she was acting so liberally—she was high.

“But I do,” I snapped without taking my eyes off him, still lounging in his seat like he owned the place. “We already have enough issues with band members getting distracted, and the last thing I need is a pest hanging around!”

“Buzzkill.”

I caught a whispered insult from afar, followed by their shared laughter, which only fueled my rage.

Jolly and I exchanged glances, and I was sure he was thinking exactly the same thing I was.

“I won’t ask you to leave again!” If my eyes had the power to kill, his body would have been shattered to pieces by now.

“Okay, okay! See you later...” He stood, shoving his hands into his pockets and shrugging in mock surrender. “Oh, Noah, almost forgot—I’m hosting a little party at my place, just something casual with friends. It’d be cool if you came with the rest of the band.”

And who said we were friends?

“See you there!” Folio shouted from the back of the room.

Landon nodded, and just before leaving, I noticed him brush his hand against hers in a slow enough motion for her to take whatever he handed her and tuck it into her pocket. I took a deep breath as the door shut, leaning my head against the microphone stand with my eyes closed while my bandmates silently gestured to one another to start playing.

“It’s too late…” she began, testing the microphone.

“Stop.”

“What’s wrong?” she asked, throwing her hands up.

“You’re doing it wrong.”

“Okay, okay!” Jolly intervened. “It’s fine; we’ll start over.”

The intro of Take Me First started again, and I saw her clear her throat, straightening her posture as she inhaled through her nose and exhaled slowly through her mouth. Even after all these years, she still warmed up incorrectly, yet her voice seemed to defy every logical explanation, getting better every time despite her doing everything wrong.

Every time she opened her mouth and delivered a line, my mind entered some hypnotic state. My body didn’t care about the destination, as long as she was guiding the journey with her characteristic husky, dramatic tone.

“It’s too late…”

“Stop!” I ordered. “Start again.”

“It’s too late…”

“Stop!” I repeated. “You’re still coming in at the wrong time!”

Her lips trembled as she huffed in frustration, and without saying a word, she excused herself, marching across the room to lock herself in the bathroom.

“Have you lost it? She’s coming in at the right time, according to the new intro!” Jolly snapped, impatient. “If you’re going to nitpick, at least point out real mistakes!”

“Jolly’s right, man. Chugging all that energy drink is probably messing with your chakras!” Folio teased, punctuating his words with a playful cymbal crash.

“Folio, where did you even get the idea that energy drinks can do that?” Ruffilo asked, spinning his neck around with a puzzled expression.

“Let’s continue the rehearsal,” I said over my shoulder, watching them exchange glances.

“But she hasn’t come back yet…”

“If it mattered to her, she’d be here. Let’s go!”

Without questioning, they returned to their positions, and the intro started again. I cracked my neck from side to side before leaning into the microphone. During the opening bars, I closed my eyes, trying my hardest to pretend she was in some parallel space where her shadow couldn’t reach me.

But all it took was opening my eyes to collide with reality.

The bathroom door was still shut.

After practice, everyone grabbed their things and left for their destinations.

I have to admit, I felt betrayed, but screw it.

Lying on the couch in the living room, nothing seemed to hold my attention. I couldn’t watch a movie, couldn’t read, or even jot something down in a notebook because even the sound of the pencil scratching the paper annoyed me. I picked up the guitar and placed it on my thigh, hoping silence might serve as inspiration, and on the first chord, my luck had the string snap.

“Shit.”

I sighed, bored, banging my head against the back of the couch. On the floor, there was a pile of crumpled-up balls of paper from all my failed attempts at composing something. My mind was emptier than my stomach.

“I hope your little party is awful, sweetheart,” I murmured sarcastically to myself. Maybe talking to myself was the last stage before fully surrendering to madness.

The light of headlights in the garage caught my attention through the window. Judging by the incessant chatter, it was the guys—they were laughing and coming inside with parallel conversations and an armful of grocery bags. When I came face-to-face with them, I did a mental roll call, frowning when I noticed someone was missing.

“Huh,” I hesitated, crossing my arms and leaning against the couch. “Weren’t you all at the same party?”

“No, we changed our minds and went to the supermarket,” Ruffilo shrugged, lifting the bags. Suddenly, all the smiles disappeared. “She’s not here?”

My feet went numb, and for a moment, I thought I was floating, the ground vanishing beneath them. What pounded in my chest could easily be mistaken for the echo of a drum, grating against my ears. I didn’t fully understand why, but there was an unsettling itch beneath my skin that spread throughout my body, like a thousand needles piercing all at once.

“Shit.”

“Noah, where are you going?” one of them shouted, but I was already out the door and in the car, turning the ignition with the same speed I left the garage.

I was definitely speeding, but my vision felt too blurred on the city’s narrow streets as I swerved past car after car. The tightness in my chest gripped me diagonally, and I used my finger to loosen the collar of my shirt, trying my best to breathe in slowly and stay focused on the road.

Every time I heard a horn, it had the power to jolt me back to reality, preventing my car from crashing into another on the shoulder. The closer I got to the address, the more my agony escalated, and the harder it became to fight against the paralysis threatening my body.

I parked in the first available spot I found. Cars were haphazardly positioned with no room to maneuver, so I had to vault over a few hoods to get through. Loud music and a dense crowd amidst smoke—the party at Landon’s was so packed and noisy it was impossible to hear my own thoughts. Dodging a few girls drinking and bumping into a guy, I ended up with an entire drink spilled over my hoodie.

He was ready to curse me out but paused when he looked up and smiled.

“Noah? Noah Sebastian?” he squinted, double-checking what he was seeing. “Hey man, would you mind taking a picture with me? My sister loves—”

I didn’t wait for him to finish, turning my back on him, breathless, my heart hammering at a wild rhythm. It felt like I was getting closer.

Instinctively, I decided to head upstairs. On my way, I ran into Landon. He was stumbling over his own feet, wearing star-shaped glasses, nearly collapsing onto me. Luckily, I pushed him off just in time, throwing a punch that sent him sprawling onto the floor, creating a circle in the crowd.

Shaking my fist in the air and ignoring the murmurs, I took the stairs two steps at a time. As I reached the hallway, my insides twisted in dread over what I might find. Kicking open the first door, I found a couple—clean. The second door revealed some people passed out. The third was empty, aside from the mess.

That left me with only one option.

At the end of the hall, there was only one white door, which I assumed was a bathroom. I forced the golden doorknob and found it locked. Panic flared through my body. I slammed my shoulder against the wood, breaking through on the second try.

The music became just a distant echo.

And my heart was on the verge of stopping.

It was impossible not to collapse onto the wet floor beside her as soon as I saw her pale, unconscious body with liquid trickling from her lips. Despite my panic and groans of anguish, I forced myself to check her pulse. I abandoned every rule about not touching her again, cradling her in my arms and thrusting my fingers into her mouth to reach her throat. But there was nothing to pull out, and even if there had been, she was too limp to expel it.

“No. No. No. No,” I repeated in desperation, holding my phone to my ear while dialing emergency services. “Stay with me. Keep breathing. Please. Please. Please!”

I had no idea if I was doing the right things, but I was alone and couldn’t think of anything else besides needing her to come back. Her face was so sunken I could see the blue veins stark against her skin. Her well-shaped lips were dry and cracked, contradicting the increasingly shallow breaths escaping her nose.

“Keep breathing. Keep breathing. Keep breathing,” I kept repeating, pressing my lips to her forehead, feeling something wet and salty transfer between us as the hold music played in my ear. “Please, my little storm.”

The music outside drowned out my cries of pain—not physical, though. My body felt numb, like enduring a long episode of cramps. All the pain was internal, dissolving as I watched her grow colder in my arms.

“911, what’s your emergency?”

⭑ @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard ; @anarchydomainglory ; @iluvmewwwww75

[missfrustration]

sins and sacraments (priest!sanji x succubus!reader 18+ fanfic)

rating: rating: 18+ explicit, minors do not interact!!

tags: pwp, smut, dubcon, rough sex, fingering, priest!sanji, priest au, succubus au, priest kink, trashy as hell, power dynamics, power struggle, biting, scratching, cigarette burning, some blood, bondage, tears, succubus scent and poison, inaccurate catholicism, not so chivalrous sanji

A/n: This is genuinely the craziest shit I've written. dubcon to the max, dont like dont read!!! i drew some fanart for this, dont look at the hand proportions too hard. on ao3 here!

wc: 7.1k

----------------------------

This house in the hideaway stow of the county was one of your favorites to live in whenever you liked to find men from the area. Maybe it was the old-money interior and classic oak spaces that made it stick with you. Regardless, it’s always been the perfect place to lure your prey in.

That was until recently.

Some puny humans have ‘bought’ the thing since the last time you’ve left the area, and have destroyed the place beyond anything forgivable. It seems a mortal husband and wife is treating the house like it’s theirs , tearing up all the lovely decorations from older times into disgustingly awful palettes of teal and yellow. Treating your place with such little disregard, talking about how happy they are to get a house and raise their grandchildren within. 

You’re a succubus. Obviously, it’s not your style to haunt humans, much yet married couples—playing defense is unheard of for you—but after the first day that you surveyed them, it’s clear that they need to be taken care of. You certainly had some time on your hands, and enough strength from the last set of victims to kill them, but camping around and scaring them away instead was certainly a feat you were willing to challenge.

At first, it started with random things falling over, whenever they weren’t looking, you’d find a vase, a lamp, or even a grandfather clock, that would make enough noise when pushed to irk them. You eventually find out the wife really hates the bumps in the night whenever she is alone. One particular night while the husband was away, you made her so scared she fled to the bedroom and started shivering under blankets for days. The husband would wave his gun around when he suspected something, but they’d never find you fast enough.

They departed a week ago, only hastily packing a couple of suitcases before leaving. Finally, the whole house was abandoned yet again to your ownership. While it’s strange how they didn’t pack anything other than a few clothes and jewelry, the thought of it being anything other than a hasty runaway never occurred to you.

Those were your suspicions up until now. You were lounging around your reclaimed house, wearing one of the missus’s dresses and prancing near the large top-floor window when something caught your eye.

It’s a car from a meager wage that suddenly pulls up on the lot— your lot, the one you’ve put insurance in keeping empty the past couple of weeks—as you watch from the sanded window.

You saunter down the stairs, straightening the pleats of the dress’s yellow skirt, and feeling the role of the clothing’s owner when you open the door.

“Good evening, Father, how may I help you?”

A priest looks into your eyes, smiling so warmly at you. A familiar book in his hand, one with leather worn on the outskirts of the surface and worn on the spine. He wears a priest’s clock with a thick cincture wrapped around a cinched waist, a Roman collar, and a long skinny stole hanging down from around his neck. 

This dedicated man of God stands before your devilish domain, yet there’s certainly a need for you to act cordially. Maybe it’s a perverted sense in you to pretend to be an innocent housewife, but a change of pace in getting a new victim is always welcome.

“Father Sanji,” he smiled. “I’ve come on behalf of the church for the family of this house.”

“This is the family you're speaking to.” You say sweetly, clasping your hands together. “What seems to be the problem?”

“I've come upon request to remove a demon lurking in these walls, apparently one that’s been plaguing you since you moved in…” The father cocks his eyebrows at you, looking you up and down. “Surely you must know this?” He says, the smile never falters from his face. His words cause a perfect excuse to fall from your lips in gracious favor.

“Oh, why, of course. My husband loves to tell tall tales, no matter who he wraps up in after it. you’re free to look around, but I’m afraid you won’t find anything.” With a giggle and a twirl of your hand, you feel the posture of Father Sanji standing straighter.

“That's all the permission I needed, madam.”

You step back and open the door wide, allowing the man into your territory. He makes his way to the kitchen quickly when you offer him a cup of coffee. 

You’ve never made coffee–you wouldn’t have even found the stuff for it. However, you found it after whisking through a few cabinets with a stroke of luck. The canister labeled ‘ground beans’ had only enough sediment to cover the bottom of the tin.

“Do you mind if I smoke?” Father Sanji asks you by the doorway of the kitchen.

“Usually, I would say no, but you're handsome enough that I’ll let it pass.”

A pause. 

“How nice of you.”

He retrieves a pack of cigarettes from his hand, one with a packaging exterior foreign to you. He ceremoniously shakes one before popping it out, taking a match from the matchbox across the kitchen stove, and flicking the flame until the end of the cigarette begins to cherry.

You fiddle with the kitchen’s chunky coffee machine while he’s distracted.

“I take it your husband isn’t home?”

“I’m afraid so,” You say, “he’s been out for business the past couple of weeks, and it’s been so lonely. I’m glad to have some… eye-catching company.” You leave a lingering whine on ‘company,’ eyeing the priest’s presence. He’s more attractive than the others, and certainly more thrilling if you wrap him around your finger just right; not to mention the power you would acquire from his body.

“Is that right…” He trails off. You busy yourself with the machine. In the corner of your eye, the father finds a tray for ash on the counter, flicking the dead end of his cigarette before puffing again.

You ignore his comment. As you finish your business with the coffee machine, you hear the water inside start to bubble. You turn towards him, idly leaning against the counter and arching your back. You meet eyes again.

“Are you sure you're a priest? You look far too handsome for the role.”

Sanji blushes, fidgeting with the buttons of his cloak before clearing his throat.

“I am indeed of the cloth, madam. It is the path that was laid before me.”

You hum to yourself, saying one of your most ill-suited thoughts out loud. “A handsome man like you is wasted on celibacy.”

You let the words on your tongue fall into the quiet air. The priest's demeanor doesn’t change; he stands still momentarily before reigniting his warm smile. 

“My beauty is merely a gift from God.” He pauses, looking out the window as he lets his cigarette burn on. “It's the same for all mortals, I would venture.”

He seemed to have added that last thought of his– a very strange thing to say, but priests of this era may be just that.

“If we think on that basis,” You hum, “Life is too short. Perhaps you should live a little.”

He pauses, eyeing you down conspicuously.

“Do you usually flirt with men when your husband’s not around?”

You hide a conniving smile. The coffee starts to brew.

“Depends, does it seem to be working?”

“I would be called a liar if I said no.” He says, absentmindedly blowing the smoke. Your smirk grows.

“Perhaps you should stick around, then.” 

You move closer to him, choosing to be in his intimate space as you search his body for cracks–for more hints you’ve gotten under his skin. You run your long, glossy nail from his chest to the seam of his Roman collar before Father Sanji grabs your wrist. You try to move to his neck, planning to scratch the tender flesh, but he gives you no room to do so. The force is unbecoming compared to his gentle voice. 

“I think I found what I’ve been looking for.”

“Oh? What would that be, Father?” 

He pulls you close, surprisingly gentle, enough to make his soft words clear. The kitchen is silent for a moment, enough to hear the gentle wind outside knock the leaves against the house.

“You wouldn’t happen to be that demon, would you?”

That gentle tone isn’t hiding any more secrets. A wry laugh escapes your lips.

“I didn’t know priests liked jokes so much; otherwise, I think I’d be offended.” You try to gently pry from his grasp, leaving much of your sultry voice to falter. A firmness in his grip doesn’t dissipate, rather, it seems to extend.

“Oh, my dear.” he takes your hand, threading the fingers together with his. “You know what I mean.”

His eyes. They tell you exactly what you need. In the hues of blue and gray flecks, there’s a glint of malice. His lids are low, his lips purse, and a bruising grip on your hand; he knows you’ve been deceiving him.

You yank your hands away with a vigorous strength that disconnects you two, turning your heel to get out of his clutches. However, he’s already behind you, pinning you against the teal counter hard enough to fold you over it. He’s a lot stronger than he looks.

Father Sanji sighs. “See, the family who requested my services by letter is out on vacation, something they had to plan rather hastily, strictly so I could perform the exorcism without additional guests. No one should be in the house except, well, you .”

He’s pinned your arm tight around your back, blowing a puff of smoke behind you. You don’t know if the act caused you to feel dizzy or something else, but you immediately feel uneasy in an instant.

“You may think you were so close to tricking me, but you should do your homework first. If you can’t even find coffee grounds in your family��house, don’t offer answers you didn’t prepare for.” He chuckles.

So he saw through that, too. 

His soft laugh conjures one of your own. However, the tone colored in your voice is completely distinct from the proper one from earlier.

“Maybe you were feigning ignorance so well earlier, and I suppose I’ve been caught off guard. You certainly have a knack for faking someone so taken by me.” You say.

“It’s against the church to lie, my dear, and you truly are a dearie, so I would prefer for you to leave this house by choice rather than force.”

You cock your head at the last part.

“Force?” You mull over, rather surprised at his little bluff. “I love a challenge; the pain tastes of a sweeter victory.” 

“I see. It seems I’ll need to be more physical than I would’ve liked.”

“Oh, you want to dance with death that bad ?” You utter softly at the priest. “I don’t think a mortal like you can play with me .”

“Give me your other arm.”

“Like I’d obey you.” You spit.

“So be it, demon.”

You saw the signs he had something up his sleeve before you can react. Suddenly, you feel a searing hot pain in your back, burning past the cloth of your dress, spreading like wildfire throughout your nerves. An agonized bellow came with the disorientation that followed. You try not to make the sound of pain, yet a very unfeminine grunt leaves you in your wake. In the heat of your agony, Sanji takes your arm and cranks it behind you. 

“Did, did you just fucking burn me?” You grunt.

“How rude of me. It seems that a bit of cigarette ash fell off. Some that may also contain-“

“Ugh, that wretched stuff!” You grunt. The inside of your throat felt like a husk and your head felt lighter. “Don’t think you can pull your little game off with your church’s backhand trickery.”

“Palo Santo-infused smoke, but yes.” He deadpans, now securing both wrists behind you. “Now, hold still.”

“As if I’d-!” Before you can move, your wrists strongly bind together. Sanji’s hands fly from your arms to your head, slamming it down on the counter. 

“Relax, doll, you don’t stand against rosary beads for a while; the papacy recently blessed them before I got here,” the priest says, tapping the restraint on your wrist. “Now, isn’t this a sight?”

You grunt into the ugly teal marble counter, feeling your pretty body squish into the filth. Is this the stuff humans call luxury? Such degradation of an illustrious spirit like you is unnatural from your male targets—no, unheard of. You crank your head to look at him and see Father Sanji’s face burning his eyes back on you. His palm presses down your head, cheek smushing it into the cool tile. 

“This is funny to you?” You rasp at him. “Watching me in pain is entertainment?”

“Absolutely not. This, however?” Sanji points to your now-discovered tail with a smug expression, exposed from the hem of your dress and whipping wildly in the air. “I see that I’ve made an impression.”

“What, that some flakey preacher thinks he has the upper hand?”

“Oh, no. That’s not it at all.” Father Sanji’s tone feels as pleased, almost lighthearted by your exasperation, as he watches your pointed tail strike the air like wildfire. “You love this, don’t you?”

“You must be out of your damned mind, puny lamb.”

“Let me show you what I see.” You feel a firm grasp on your hair, now pulling you back to Sanji as you feel pain aching from the crown of your head. Father Sanji has no time to soften the pressure, pulling your body back to his, yet…

“F-fuck, mmm .” The pain hits you just right. You’re surprised by the whimper coming out of your mouth, from the pain, from his assertive clutch on your hair, and the way he’s lifted half of your body with ease.

“You see? There’s a dirty little devil in here, and she doesn’t seem threatened by me at all.” Father Sanji says this with audible satisfaction in his voice, almost taunting. He took a moment to take a long, crackly exhale of his cigarette. Another puff of smoke is blowing your way, his face so close to your nape that you feel sickened by it. ”Moreso, ready to be defiled .”

Suddenly, his attitude makes sense.

“Oh, so the vile preacher does know what type of demon I am?”

“How could I be called a messenger of the Lord if I don’t know the hysterics of a succubus?”

He’s toying with you. So conniving for the plain church.

“And you think you can just dominate a demon of the night? What a naive thing. You’ll lose your life trying.” You growl. 

“Don’t get too cocky.” 

He flicks more ash on your tail, causing you to screech and writhe. He uses the opportunity to take it in his hand, wrapping it around in his hands before pulling it back. It flails down and now limps under you. In a panic, you try to move it, yet it’s no use. You don’t feel in control of it anymore; sensation is barely left in it.

“While it’s true your kind gets their power from preying on their male targets, I wonder…” He leans so close that his lips touch your ear. “What would happen if the predator was preyed on, hm?”

With sudden force, you feel teeth bite on the tip of your ear. Hard . The sudden force causes your breath to hitch in euphoria and makes your voice pitch dangerously high. When you realize what he’s done, you writhe against him, yet the hold on your body makes the effort futile. 

“Ahh! Please, you honestly don’t believe a little human like you could please a succubus at their own game?” You scoff, yet the hands that hold you don’t falter. Instead, they grip you harder , smushing your face further against the marble.

“Is that a challenge? Even when I know your dirty secret…desperate to finish me off first to keep your powers. But,” he trails off, “if you were to be pleased first, maybe you wouldn’t be so lucky, hm?” 

No, there’s no way he knows. He couldn’t possibly know.

“You fucking bastard,” you start to struggle more against his grasp. “Release me this instant.”

“Oh, so is it who gets off first?” He asks, and you freeze. Your response is enough of an answer for him, and you hear a content chuckle from behind you. “And here I was just guessing.”

“How the fuck do you—?” You seethed. 

“Language.”

Your back writhes as you feel a burning sensation pressing against your shoulder once again. It graces your flesh fast, and more painful than ever.

“The church educates us after indoctrination,” the priest answers your question. “Ah, but not this part.”

Your skin sears with a hiss as he twists the cigarette below your shoulder blade. The sensation is almost intoxicating, searing through the dress and flooding your body with fiery heat, like a blazing aurora. Your tongue feels heavy in your mouth while your head becomes dizzy, but a tongue that feels compelled to let out a string of curses, ones that increase consumption of your flesh. 

And the priest chuckles at this, while you wildly fight against the restraints he’s put on you. 

“You must learn to control your tongue,” he says, his voice smooth like honey. “You’ve been around for a while, little imp, but I can tell you’ve never faced an actual threat. You could go left and right seducing all the men you want, but you’ve never faced a man of God.”

You don’t even hear him. You don’t want to. Even after the initial sear has subsided, the sharp pain lingered, traveling down your back in a dull ache. 

“Men of God inflict pain like this? Please,” you spit. “Is this truly what your god wants, or is that just a flimsy excuse?”

“Ah ah. You don’t need to do that. This is what you’re all about, is it not? Why don’t you give in,” Father Sanji leans in to whisper in your ear, “and let a man make you tremble instead?”

You feel the cool air hit the back of your thighs as your dress skirt yanks up, revealing your naked flesh underneath. 

“One that will treat you so well.” He doesn’t sound surprised to see you donning anything underneath that skirt.

Fury pulses through you. If some human spawn thinks he can get away with this, he’ll be sure to regret it. 

You found your opportunity. His body was close enough to your back and bounded claws, and you wasted no time scratching him, successfully taking a bit of flesh with it. He hisses sharply and pulls back his arm before you can do more damage.

“Little thing,” he grunts, seeing the blood drip slowly seeping outside the skin and down his forearm. “I know what you just did.”

You cackle with a voice nothing like the one you first spoke to him. It’s more real, more raw, and certainly fitting for who you truly are. You barely notice the painful beads tightening around your hands, consumed by your gratification.

“Oh, it’s nothing special, just a push for you to finish what you started.”

You know even the strongest human men are no match for you after a simple scratch from your poisoned nails. A man once wary of your advances, fearful of committing adultery, always falls to his knees—completely blinded by their passion and lust for a succubus. You know Sanji is feeling the same effects behind you, so it’s surprising the aura he carries feels almost unaffected .

“It’s not a challenge when I was going to in the first place,” his thigh dips between yours, so achingly slow to press against your mound you felt compelled to rip him to shreds, yet the quiver in your plump legs don’t go unnoticed by the Father.

“Let’s see how long the stuffy priest can resist a battle of endurance. I’ll have you dead, drained of your lifeforce, before you know.” 

Your neck is craned to see him from behind you, and you see the sight of the handsome blonde sour at your words. Father Sanji gives an experimental, sensual rub of your pussy with his leg muscle, almost testing the waters, yet the stimulation to your pussy is instantly slicking it.

“Your ego precedes you,” The priest grunts, rolling his shoulders back and forth to rid himself of a growing frustration. “Your kind could easily kill a man like me, but you choose the path of lust instead to satiate your hunger.”

When he dives his digits into your pussylips, you can feel how effortlessly your slick eliminates any friction. His fingers easily glide up and down your apex until he breaks past the soft, juicy barriers between your entrance. The rough, warm interior greets his fingers with gusto, pulsing around him like a vice. 

“You could’ve cut my head off when you answered the door, or when you lured me into this kitchen,” The priest says, spending no time roughly pumping his fingers into you, thrusting in and out of your slicked hole. “But instead, you want a worldly experience with me? To take my life force and watch me crumble with glee?”

“I can play along with this if you’d like.” You laugh, turning your neck to see his stoic position. You sweeten your voice, fumble your hands against the restraints, as you fake moan against the marble, mocking his energy.

The sound of his moistened palm smacking against your cunt is deliciously filling the room. Maybe from a bumbling idiot, you wouldn’t feel gratified, but from prey as special as him? With deft hands like that, a few burns from that cigarette must’ve damaged your head more than you thought. 

“You like it, enough, I see,” Sanji says, pointing at the emergence of your identity resting on the sides of your head.

Yes, the mark of your heritage. When the dance of lust befalls you, your true form seems to come out. To the curve of your hips plumping in size, the hardness of your nipples rubbing the marble table, but above all, the rouge, the rough indentation of horns sprouting past your skull and making their appearance. 

You whistle lowly, mocking a false interest.

“Oh, is that supposed to humble me?” You say, voice dripping with disdain. “Think just some foreplay will make me cum like a virgin?”

“Do you think you’re still in control in this situation, demon?” He husks.

“It won’t take long, I would argue,” you drawl. “For you to beg for me, lamb. For my body, my touch, for the sweetness, and tightness of my insides. You’ll worship me like a devoted man you are.” 

Your charming voice exhales out, and a sickly sweet scent from your body follows it. One filled with frankincense and amber tones—the scent that brings men to their knees in pleasure. It’s a tactic you pride yourself in as a succubus, one you’re certain will work on him without fail, drawing him irresistibly closer to your body.

His face scrunches up at the last part of your sentence. His gray, pinpoint eyes are focused on your body, taking in your form in its new appearance, smelling the scent. All at once he grips your sides, flipping your body around with reckless abandon. Your back hits the marble forcefully, your wrist painfully colliding before it’s pinned behind. A noise of both aggravation and intrigue releases from your body as you arch yourself. You try to push past the unsavory noise you made, but never have you experienced such force from your prey. 

“I enjoy how hard you try despite your current position under me, but,” he states, but you can tell of a new lewd view before you with your body facing his. At the lower region of his priest's cloak, you see the indentation of his cock stirring against the fabric. “You will submit to me, temptress.” 

That’s when you see it. 

He sheds the skirting of his cloaks wrapped tightly by the long cotton belt cinched around his waist. Underneath, his erection springs out. 

Priest Sanji’s length may be too long for your vessel. God dammit, you’re not in control at this point to change that, yet you lick your lips in anticipation of a challenge. The conquest of dominating his body will reap rewards beyond your wildest desires. Your ability to gain such an influx of power from his life source, you wouldn’t need a dilapidated house like this. 

You can’t help but smirk, knowing full well that Sanji—his body— is just as impatient as you are. Your agitation about the situation is replaced with the feelings you know too well: the egotistical, maniacal form of lust that courses through your veins.

“That’s more like it.” You purr.

Against the power of a succubus, it seems even he can't resist the allure of your body. Be it the poison of your nails, your scent, or the worldly desires getting to him, his cock seems strained from arousal before you. He presses his erection on your wet apex, rubbing and lubricating himself. 

Priest Sanji’s rough entry makes your walls immediately succumb to him. You grunt from the stretch of your hole around his cock, but it doesn’t take long for you to adjust. You were made for this, after all.

“Feel how I fill you, seductress. Take it good, let me feel you flutter well,” he says. “This is just the beginning.”

You feel the urge to give in with his cock tight inside your sleeve, the urge to have him take you like a lass would her lover. Maybe you could enjoy yourself a little. How rare that this man spoke to you in a way that excited you beyond taking him for your meal. His dominating figure and treatment are beyond a sniveling adulterer.

“I didn't know a devil spawn could become so flushed.” He whispers lowly. Like a gravelly wisp, it is quickly replaced by his nails digging into the flesh of your thigh as he hikes the leg up to his face. 

Your limber legs split under his grasp with ease. The angle he’s pumping himself into creates an unknown sensation in you. The deepest parts of you fire up from being touched by him, and the insides of your vessel feel jumbled by the sheer size of his member. 

“Oh darling, you have no idea what I’m capable of,” you say. You lift your thighs using the weight of your hands pinned under you, bucking up to meet the base of his dick with each thrust, enveloping him deeper, yet deeper, inside of you. “I can show you pleasures beyond your wildest dreams.” The delicious feeling makes your hands wriggle together, the beads etching deeper into your wrists.

“Blessed be thy lips that speak, doll,” the priest taunts, he sweeps your lip with his thumb in a smothering affection.

In annoyance, you bare your teeth, prepared to bite his finger, but instead, he shoves several down your throat, muffling any pretenses you had against his advances. His soft, firm fingers scrape against the ridges of your throat, urging you to gag, but you refuse to give him satisfaction.

Your teeth, tail, and nails could easily poison his flash again, even slash and crush him to ribbons, but injecting more of your lustful poison won’t speed up the process of his arousal taking over if he’s already been exposed. As for killing him…

No, killing him wouldn’t be worth it. Not with this challenge laid before you. The excitement of it. Maybe he’s not as uptight as you would’ve thought, but no mortal human man is a match for your sexual drive. No one has ever been.

You suck on his fingers, latching your mouth around the digits in deficiency, your eyes never leaving his. The priest’s wickedness falters slightly, replaced by something more flustered. His hand tenses, thumb curling to rest against the underside of your jaw, a tenderness juxtaposes his hard cock aggressively thrusting in and out of you. Your hips move together in your bliss.

Any thrusting prey graced within your body has always worked under their lust, their disgusting selfish desires to speed their climax—a decision that you ultimately win from. But this? This isn't the movement of a man chasing his pleasure, but one that wants to slowly unravel you at the core of your being. One who knows your intentions, yet gambles on his cock and body to do his bidding before a demon of the night. 

The priest’s hand snakes out of your mouth, and grips the fatness of your hips. He alternates his thrusts into shallow, gentle pecks into your core in reverent, pounding jackhammers on a dime. The pressure that differs between each thrust is dizzying, inconceivably unlike anything you’ve ever felt from squabbling and desperate prey in the past. His violent grip on you drives a relentless, random rhythm that has you gasping for air.

“Ahh, ahh!” Your hands grip in the air, for anything that will suppress your body from shrieking its pleasure. “Shit, fuck, ugh, hmph!” You don’t understand it when your mouth babbles in pleas and distasteful curses. Distasteful? Never would you have imagined your tongue and the curses it carries could be so repulsive. This damned priest.

“Speaking in tongues I see.” The priest says mockingly.

Maybe you should kill him.

You regain some of your dignity at his words, realizing how desperate for his cock you may seem. To settle the score, you relax your body, letting his dick pass into you until you clamp your pussy around him. Like a vice, you squeeze hard, just to follow it with a pulse of different pressures against his dick. You pursue it relentlessly, trying hard not to succumb to the beautiful bliss of nerves it stimulates while he starts to stutter at his pace.

“I never thought a priest would want to break his celibacy fucking a demon child.” You coo. “Myyy, hahhhh, how the church must be so ashamed of you.”

His face stills in his huffing, his hand coming up to his shoulder as he quickly plucks off the stole around his neck, slipping it off of him before he lifts it in front of you.

“Your unholy words describe this as a test of faith. Speaking as if you weren’t built to do anything but take this cock. This, however, is my calling to do,” as quickly as he finished his sentence, as he pounds his dick hard enough to distract you, you feel the stole wrap around, tightly constricting your mouth as he pulls the ends behind your head. 

You squirm in protest, muffled by the bitter, vile-tasting cloth. You wriggle violently, irritated that he’s muffled you like an animal.

“Uh, uh, be good for me now,” his voice is light and soft, but writhing when his breath touches your face. 

He presses a hand on your stomach as he leans forward to your face, making your leg bend against both chests, opening your pussy more for him. The pressure on his hand against your stomach tightens your walls, his shaft rubbing against them with divine presence. You could cough up the new intensity, yet he jackhammers into you again.

His purpose for leaning so close to your face, inches away from yours, wasn’t to study you with an irritating smolder. No, it’s always more than that. 

With a sudden jerk, you pull back from his hand yanking a horn on your head, the pain is exquisite, it’s dizzying, it’s fucking annoying, yet you squirm and whimper against the stole. Your neck turns at an uncomfortable angle, but you can’t think of the disrespect when he deliciously shoves his shaft into your walls. 

You’ve never felt humanity, yet when tears bull in the corner of your eyes from the pain in your horns, you feel disgusted by the smirk you get from Priest Sanji. 

“Come on, you can take it, little devil.” Closing the gap, he licks the tear that threatened to fall from the corner of your eye. You feel disgusted as he swallows your tears down in a sick satisfaction no priest would have. No priest should have, nothing that you could imagine, yet you hum in pleasure. Sickening is what you are.

You feel ravenous, you crave your reward too much to stop it, but your body screams to tip him over. In your wake of revenge, you gain enough feeling in your tail to move it underneath you.

Your tail catches him off guard, curling around the small of his waist to push him impossibly closer inside of you. You push and pull him faster, battling him at your own pace.

“Dirty,” is all he says, gripping onto your thighs to position them perfectly, giving you the instant gratitude of his cock head brushing into your cervix, reliving an itch that has never been scratched so well.

Oh, but he has more in store for you. 

He leans over your body, cocking his arms to your shoulder, gripping them harshly, and arching your hips more, until he’s not just brushing into the deepest spots inside you, he’s pounding them. But your body is made for this. he grunts, feeling the effects of his actions like clockwork as you tighten harden around his pulsing cock.

That’s when you hear that irritating voice again. Not berating you, not egging you on. No…

“Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.”

That sick bastard is speaking a prayer over your dick-ridden body.

You feel hands on your back. In a bruising clutch, your body twists around and your stomach hits the counter hard enough to leave you breathless. Your arms restrained behind you now gain blood flow. Though you’re unable to see your prey now, you can still hear the retched words spill out of his mouth.

“Thy kingdom come, thy will be done,” says the grunting priest. While he’s slapping in and out of you, he feels the need to pray to his stupid god. What a joke.

Father Sanji’s chest is against your back. His hand travels up to your blouse, a rip ringing out and buttons flying in the air as the top of your dress rips apart. Your back arches at the feeling, giving him the perfect opportunity.

“On earth as it is in heaven.”

You moan at the dominance, chest now exposed in the air. the frayed blouse of the dress now limps at your sides.

“And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.”

A hand from behind reaches toward you and grips your breast with such force, gripping the mound like a knob. An intention to tear the succubus down to her bare necessities. For the first time, he gropes and explores your flesh against his digits; but it’s not for his pleasure. It’s for yours, to build you up higher as you take him in your tight sheath.

“For thine is the kingdom…”

Father Sanji’s voice falters in between his touches of your flesh, yet he doesn’t let go. He instead grips onto the flesh as he ruts his hips once again. You moan as he fondles your hardened nipples, gripping the mound with a brutish strength. Your legs splayed out.

“…and the power...”

You feel euphoric from the sensation, the slant of his hips rolling into you further than ever before. Your feet dangling in the air in ecstasy before latching onto him. You wrap your thighs around his middle along with your tail, hooking your feet together as you increase the pressure of your pussy, now pulling him so close he can barely pump out. His face contorts.

“…and the glory forever…”

You feel overpowered by his lust, edging to the brink of climax at an alarming rate, the pleasure is immeasurable, but you know it’s dangerous. 

One more scratch, one more, as you use enough of your strength to finally release yourself from your restraints, your nails so close to the flesh you can feel it. 

Until you feel a sudden pressure in your horns. 

Both his hands fly to your horns as you’re yanked back, your back tensed as all the slack is pulled to arch it at the most inhumane position that you find hard to breathe, to moan. The pain at the base of your horns aches through your head, and the priest cocks it back to your right to face him, your neck straining from the angle that you squeak, your mouth agape and suckling on the stole. 

Sanji is looking at you now, his wrinkles scrunching his face in pure agony and pleasure. The sweat was drenched on his face, a soft smile on his lips again, but with a dark glint he never had in the beginning.

In a swift motion, he rips the stole out of your mouth, and you’re ready to scream. You’re ready to devour him, to bite and suck his flesh, but he shuts up any thought you have by closing the distance first.

An open mouth kiss is taken from your lips. The priest seethes his tongue into you, as you feel a cool liquid pass from his lips into yours. Before you can sink your teeth into that wet tongue, you open your eyes and pull away as fast as you can. 

“S-shit!” the water burns the insides of your mouth and travels down your throat, clawing its way into you like a furious wave of flames. 

You’ve never known this horrible feeling, but you can tell what Sanji made you swallow. Holy water. The mix of the water and Palo Santo smoke lingering in his mouth travels into you.

“Amen.” Sanji grunts.

He cranks both of your legs further than before, past any stretch you reached before slamming his cock into your hole.

It’s too much, you can’t take it anymore. 

You feel your body crash into an intense, mind-numbing orgasm as you scream and claw at your throat. A shrill, high-pitched yell scratches out of you from the pain and pleasure, the leftover water that didn't travel down your throat sputters out in spats. Your cunt restricts around his member, as your body releases its cum, showering and squirting onto his cock, out of your hole, and dripping like a faucet onto the floor. One more pound into your weeping cunt, and Sanji pulls out of you both he grunts, fisting himself until semen spurts out of his dick. 

He’s pulled out and came right after you did. Not in your pussy, for his semen inside would’ve nourished you from this astounding pain.

You lost. You fucking lost! 

And there he stands, a blurry form in front of you, chest heaving, looming over you, but with that solemn, soft face. The same face he made when you opened that forsaken entrance to the home, those same silvery-blue eyes that fill you with rage.

“And, hack! and I thought I could have some real fun with you, you fucking pig!” you cough out. your mouth is welled up with blood as you feel indescribable torture in your body, a mix of cum and blood drips down the kitchen floor. You wipe your mouth, and in the cloudy film of your eyes, you see your hand covered in bright red, staining your palm.

“But no… you wanted to play— ack ,— the hero. I will, I will kill you… you know. Hah , ahhh… I-I’m going to fucking kill–!”

“Language.”

Your body is doused in scalding liquid. The coffee pot in the Father's hand is now empty. You hear the sizzle of it on your skin. You wail out, clutching your face, your neck, your stomach. the inside and out of you feel exposed to the inside of the sun, blazing through every atom as if it were tearing in half.

“You couldn’t resist me, in the end. Your ego kept you from killing me from the chute.” Priest Sanji says. “Ironic, to say the least, fallen one.”

You can barely fucking hear him. Your body writhes on the floor. Pain, it’s all you can feel in everything. 

Through the pain, you can hear Sanji’s words echoing in your mind. Your ego… it was that that kept you from killing him. You were so blindfolded by arrogance and conceit you couldn’t see the truth of the situation until it was too late.

“Now, you must leave at once demon.”

You howl like a banshee, getting up to attack him, but you can’t see. The sound of glass and plates breaks as your body slumps across the counters, searching for him through the blur.

No. You know now, despite his soft words, his truthful compliments, and the way he delighted your body, he’s the real demon. One so taunting, so deceiving, it fills your weak body with nothing but rage. But you can’t fight him now, you can barely stand. 

“F-fucking… bastard!”

With nothing else left for you to do, with his mere presence making your life force dangerously zap out of your vessel, you claw away on your four limbs, crashing against walls until you reach the exit of the home. 

You stumble out into the night, desperately gasping for breath and clutching at your chest’s faint heartbeat. Your body flees past the lot, past the yard’s grasses. The fear of him reaching you carries until the forest is only illuminated by the moon above.

You’re far weaker than you’ve been in ages, clearly on the brink of death unless your strength is built up again. By the looks of it, it won’t be another hundred, no, even a thousand flimsy men you victimize before you can cast revenge on the priest.

With a flick of your tail and limp in your dash, you’re quick to find your next meal to satiate a burning desire.

A desire to make that flakey priest drop dead the next time you lay eyes on him. 

[twwcs]

the library scene warms my heart that they are still in each other’s side (lets just forgot the whole he needs my help with tutor and i need her help for tutor excuse cause i know they just have and neeeeddd to be close) ughh

"Dinner later?" He inquires, brow raising as he's starting to walk away. Walking backwards away from the table, his eyes on you the entire time. "Sure, I'll meet you there.." You rest your head on your hand, watching him go from where you're sitting. Watching that look on his face. A sort of satisfaction in that he's leaving but already thinking about when he gets to see you next.

just kiss already count : 1

"He's a great friend... isn't he...” He says it with a little bit of annoyance in his voice, thinking about how you two have gotten really close as friends and he didn't even know it. "Yeah he's really sweet," You smile, not really noticing his expression. You want Miguel to know that you can get along with his friends too and you can be a part of his life. "He's funny..." His brow twitches just a bit. He doesn't know how to feel about the fact that you two are friends in and out of the tutoring club. And that you're calling him sweet. And funny.

Oh honey you officially make this man brain restless with your wording😭. Just kiss already count : 2

Maybe you're just so focused on being his friend to prove to Miguel you can be part of his friend group. Miguel can feel his patience slipping. How you seem so oblivious to the fact that Peter is a huge flirt and that Peter was flirting with you earlier when he invited you to the bar. But he's been Peter's friend for years, of course he knows the girls flock around him.

LIKE WHATT JUST PLEASE DONT BE SO CRYPTIC GIVE THIS MAN HIS BREAKK

The topic change gives him some relief. Grateful to think about something other than the image of Peter taking you home tonight. He lifts his hand, flexing a few fingers. "It's fine. Doesn't really hurt much right now. It's a good reminder to not lose my cool again... " "Yeah, that locker room hates to see you comin'..." You joke with a smile. Shaking your head.

Finally just focus on you two, let’s start from there. Just kiss already count :3

Miguel can only listen and watch this interaction between the two of you. It's like a nightmare come to life. And he's feeling claustrophobic in this crowded place with all these people. He just wants to take your hand and go back to campus, go back to your dorm, go back to the library.

Okay sir respectfully why didnt you?. But for real it’s already written there but it’s so frustrating that the reader wanna be close and fit in with miguel’s circle but honey i know you meant well but didnt you see this guy right here is a bout to combust

'Well you all played very well..." You hum. Looking between the two boys. You can't help but notice Miguel's body language. Thinking he must just be upset that he didn't get to play because of his cast. But he did very well on the sidelines.

It’s not that ball you need to be concerned. You succeed on making them both oblivious on one another . Just kiss already count : 4

You giggle softly at Peter's joke and his obvious love for attention. Loving the way you can so casually hang out with Miguel and his friends for the first time ever. Miguel clenches his jaw, sipping his water and trying to keep his cool.

I cant defend you any more girlie, i cantttrttr

"Um..." You're thinking. You don't really do this that often and you're finally getting to hang out with Miguel and his friends. What the hell... "Sure!" Peter flashes that charming smile at you and Miguel can feel his control slipping again. Now he's buying you drinks?

Mig, jealousy looks good on you <3

"I'm sweating..." You huff, moving to get up off the bed and his arms come to steady you. "Woah woah slow down, sweetheart..." The words ooze off his lips.

Just kiss already count : 5

Your mind filled with the thoughts of being Miguel's again. You're friends with his friends like any girlfriend would be. So what's stopping him? What's stopping both of you from just being together again? Since you've proven to him, you can fit in.

Your hips slot between his legs, standing between them and getting closer. Fingers clenching into his shirt and smashing your lips against his. His fingers splay out, shock and surprise. His eyes wide and heart seemingly stops. You're... kissing him... you...

"No baby... you need to go to sleep... you're drunk.." He whispers, feeling so weak, his hands running up your warm bare thighs, like medicine. His cast is slightly scratchy on your thigh. Finally your body on his, your warmths feeding off of each other. "No please... say you want me, please you have to, don't you want to?" You whine. Leaning over him and kissing his cheek, burying your face in his neck. He's speechless. Doesn't know what to say or think. He thought you were done all this time. He thought you were pining after Parker.

"I want you... I do want you..." He whispers before his mind can even think. His hands falling from your thighs and flat on the bed. It feels wrong to touch you this way. His love for you overshadows his own selfish need. You won't remember this in the morning.

I HAVE BEEN SOBBING FOR THE PAST 30 MINUTES.

I Think I'll Keep You 5

a/n: Thank you again for your patience! I hope you guys enjoy and the next chapter is already underway and will come very soon! And some more art and bots coming out as well so look out for that!

w.c.: 10.2k NSFW MINORS DNI

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Chapter 5

“...accurate and efficient methods of decoding… further aiding us in understanding… um… complicated genetic codes… pushing preservation and conservation. Uhh… yeah.” Miguel sighs, sitting up in his seat and peering over your arm as you type away on his laptop. Sitting at a table in the middle of the library during tutoring hours. Your fingers typing for him as he speaks what he wants written. He can’t type. Not with his right hand totally out of commission. So he’s come to your open tutoring hours. And now you have a student to work on so you can get paid and he can get help with his work. It’s Saturday and the two of you have been practically connected at the hip for the past two days.

You woke up beside him yesterday afternoon after that late night emergency room run. Lazily, sleepily taking the rest of the day slowly. Walking across campus to get food since all you both ate the whole night was a few pieces of candy. Smiling and talking, shoes splashing in shallow puddles along the concrete. A refreshing feeling having moved on from the mess of the last few weeks. The bubble has popped. That bubble of sex and ignorance that felt so great for the both of you. Sitting in the dining hall, among the hardwood and tall, ancient windows of your old university; looking over the school grounds turned fall shades and the autumn breeze blowing in through the window. Trying to talk about anything that won’t add any more stress or tension. No talk of friends, or family, not even school. Really just talking about whatever comes into your mind. And the conversation is just so easy. It’s different to spend time with him outside of the dorm room. It didn’t happen very often before. A lot of your conversations were pillowtalk. It’s different talking about the other parts of your life that don’t take place right after doing the deed. Miguel is funny. And he’s a good listener when his mind is clear and he’s focused on you. Only you. 

Feels like things are going back to normal. Well not how it was before. A new normal. 

“I think it sounds good… it’s a little awkward in the intro still but we can fix it up later…” You assure him, fixing a few typos and reading it over. The library is nice and quiet as always. You didn’t have any other students come this afternoon so you have time to focus on this and help Miguel since you know he can’t really do it himself right now.

“I don’t know… feels like I’m missing something. I’m gonna include the research but it doesn't feel like enough.” He sighs, leaning his elbows on the table, pushing his frames further up the bridge of his nose and looking over the notes in his hand. His knee is bouncing under the table and you can feel the vibrations of it in your seat. He’s applying to the Alchemax grant program. A huge grant with a long essay to go with it, multiple letters of recommendation and a personal profile piece. Tens of thousands of dollars for his research project. And he’d basically be an intern there. Able to use their facilities and labs to complete the job and create a brand new study of his own. It would start right after graduation and almost definitely lead to a great job at Alchemax Industries. He sighs, leaning back in his seat, draping his arm over the back of your chair. 

“You okay?” You hum, observing his clearly distressed behavior. His knee bouncing, his brow furrowed, the sighs. He looks over at you, in your eyes. Don’t lie. “Yeah I’m fine… just… want to get this right.” 

You nod. Knowing that’s not all there is to it. But accepting it for now. “Well, maybe you should include some of your… personality…traits…” You suggest with a small smile, knowing that it will be like pulling teeth with him, clasping your hands in your lap and looking over at him next to you. 

“Like what. I mean… Tyler knows me. He’s the one that told me to apply.” [Tyler Stone. President and Ceo of Alchemax Industries.] He sighs, pushing his glasses up on his head, his dark curls becoming a little messy with the metal pushed through them, and rubbing the sides of his nose with his fingers. The ache of wearing his glasses for a while when he usually doesn’t like wearing them at all. But he’s worn them more often the past few days. He can see you more clearly now.  

“Yeah but he’s not the only one who’s gonna be working with you or deciding if you get the job or not. You want people to know who you are… know the kind of person you are. More often than not, that’s more important than the research when it comes to something like this. I mean, you’re not just applying for a grant, you’re applying for a job…” You explain kindly. He looks up, in your eyes, his eyes raking over your pretty face. He loves feeling like he can be close to you again. He loves feeling like he knows what’s going on in your head. Or maybe that’s just his need for control seeping in. Like venom in warm blood. Just sitting next to you like this. Even if he hasn’t so much as kissed you since everything went down. It’s only been nearly two weeks but it feels like an eternity. He wants to so badly. But he reminds himself that this is how things are right now. He messed up and he’s getting a second chance. He won’t take your forgiveness for granted. “Yeah, you’re right.” He admits, dropping the graphs and charts on the table.

“Maybe talk about family… inspirations… personal goals. People like that kind of stuff. People also want to know that you can be a part of something bigger than yourself…” You say, fingers brushing over the keys and ready to type what he says. “Uh…” He sighs, running a hand through his hair, trying to pull this out of his brain. He doesn’t really want to talk about his family. Doesn’t want to give them the satisfaction of being considered inspiration. But his upbringing and his parents’ names alone have opened a lot of doors for him in the past. His fingers fidget on the back of your chair, catching a few strands of your hair, playing with it so softly that you don’t even feel it. And he watches the side of your face to make sure you don’t notice, your eyes focused on the computer screen. Curling the strands around his finger and getting lost in touching you. Hanging on desperately to this morsel of touch. Knowing he probably shouldn’t but he just can’t help himself.

“I guess… we could say I grew up watching my parents with their business. But that’s more… financial services. When I was born, OLI was just taking off and now… I’ve watched them build it into what it is today.” He explains. You keep typing, writing it down in the notes to keep it straight. You can hear the sigh in his voice like he hates to be talking about it. You don’t know why. Mostly because he’s never spoken about this before. But if he’s applying for such a big opportunity then it’s important to include.

“OLI, I’ve heard of that, I think…” You look over at him, unsure what that stands for but you know you’ve heard that acronym before, or maybe you’ve seen it somewhere? 

“O’hara Legacy Investments.” He says with a nod and sigh, a level of disdain in his tone. He leans forward, his mind still on this essay. On beefing it up with info that might secure him this grant. Even though he’s confident his connections will get him in. There’s always a chance things might not go his way. He wants to prepare for every possible outcome. He hates to feel out of control. You stop typing. That sounds like investment banking. Like the kind of thing that makes people billionaires. 

“Is that the… that tall building downtown?” You ask, looking over at him and he nods, a blank stare in his eyes as he’s looking down at the research notes. “Your family runs that?”

“Yep.” He sighs, not offering more information so you don’t ask for more.

“Okay sooo… how would that influence your work at Alchemax?” You prompt, trying to veer back on course. You can tell he’s losing steam, you’ve been at this a while. 

“So I guess it’s not really the same as what I would be doing at Alchemax but… Watching how that runs… how many people it takes to keep something running like that. I guess something about leading teams of people working towards a goal…” He keeps thinking out loud and you keep typing, interpreting his words into organized notes and ideas. “So.. maybe about you as a leader? You think you can be a good leader…” 

“Yeah. I think so… and soccer, we could include that too.” He says, perking up and sitting up a bit straighter. Although the topic of soccer does bring his anxiety levels up a bit. Watching you type while playing with a piece of frayed material on his cast. “Yeah, captain of the soccer team, sports is always something they want to hear. If you’re a leader… organizer. And coming from SU especially, they love to see it.” You agree, typing and compiling the thoughts that come to mind. “And to know you can work in a team…” 

Miguel nods. Feeling relieved that you’re able to help him with this. He did all the more technical notes for it over the past few weeks. Organized lots of thoughts and data to start the writing process. Then he broke his fingers and that put a wrench in the process. It’s due next week and without you he’d be screwed. But it works out sort of perfectly, and a little selfishly, that now he’s spending more time with you because of that. “I think also…” 

He starts. You look over, ready to type whatever he suggests. “I’m an older brother too… that’s… I don’t know…” He mumbles. You find yourself smiling. “I feel like… maybe being a leader in that way is different.” 

“It’s very different, yes…” You nod, looking back at the laptop screen, a smile dancing on your lips. “Maybe something about… protecting… looking out for those that are important to me. Or being a good role model I guess…” He sighs. Thinking. About Gabriel. About you. Pretty much the two most important people in his life. I guess I haven’t been a very good role model as of late. 

“Loyalty… role model…” You say and nod. Typing those words in the compilation of notes you’re making in the margins. His knee is still bouncing.

“I also think you’re very passionate…” You say. He looks over at you, the side of your face, watching you type more things in the notes. Trying to create a section of his essay that can portray him as not just another applicant. “I think I’m just generally angry… I don’t really think before I do things…” He scoffs, shaking his head and leaning forward, his arms on the table, his head resting down on his forearms, looking at your pretty face from this angle. You grin and nod, giving him a look. “Yeah but we don’t have to include that… passion works…” 

He laughs through his nose, blinking softly and admiring your face. Watching your pretty eyes, the light of the computer screen reflecting in them, making them especially sparkly. It’s quiet for a moment, just the clicks of keys and fingertips. He thinks, reflecting on all that’s happened in the past few weeks. That thing with Dana keeps coming to mind. That was really a moment of lost control. Is that the passion you’re talking about? That he loses control and can’t get it back until it’s almost too late? He worries about that. Not remembering most of it because he was so angry. It sort of feels like a dream. Especially since he fought with you right after that and then everything went right to shit. 

All he knows is that Dana made it back to his dorm. He knows for a fact nothing happened. He wouldn’t have wanted it anyway because he despises her and she was drunk off her ass. But she did lie on his bed. Her perfume was all over him. And he remembers standing over her and wanting to make her hate him. Just so that she would leave him alone. That’s a level of anger he never wants you to witness, or anyone really for that matter. It scares him a bit now to think of it. All he knows is that if you think he’s loyal, he’ll be loyal as a dog. If you think he’s passionate, he’ll be a raging, burning fire to keep you warm. You think he’s anything, he’ll be that. If you want him to be. 

He fidgets with the fray on his cast. Coming off the blue material. His gaze caught on the little cursive “mine” you wrote. That night in the drug store. When you were both so deliriously tired, sitting in the middle of the floor. Having this on his arm is like a reminder. Or a promise. That maybe you’ll be his or he’ll be yours again. He’ll just have to be patient. His thumb brushes over the word, like making sure the letters won’t fall off, making sure they’re stained into the blue permanently. Do you even remember writing this? He thinks. Or were you so tired it feels like a dream? His bouncing knee still vibrates against your chair. 

“Anything else for today? We did a lot…” You ask, looking over at him. Bringing him out of his thoughts. “No, I think that’s good, thank you… but maybe next week we can finalize things and you can help me edit it?” He asks hopefully. “Yeah definitely, I’ll block out some time for you…” 

He nods, sighing and pulling his glasses off his head. Folding them up in his hand and collecting his papers. You just save the document, debating in your head the words on your tongue. Closing the laptop so he can pack it up in his bag. 

“So… you wanna tell me what’s stressing you out?” You ask, turning in your seat to face him and leaning your elbow on the table, head in your hand. He stops what he’s doing, putting down the stack of notebooks. “You can read my mind…” He smiles. 

“No, you’ve just been bouncing your knee against my chair for the past hour.” You sigh, smiling soft but sympathetic at him. His shoulders slump. “Oh sorry…” He shakes his head, feeling embarrassed for being so obvious, pinching the bridge of his nose in his fingers. 

“It’s okay… Is it the grant? I think your essay will be good enough…” You hum. Noticing all of his distress and not wanting him to be freaking out over something he’s already spent so long working on. “No it’s not… I… I’m really glad you can help me with it. Thank you… I’m just worried about the game tomorrow…” He nods. And it dawns on you. “Ohh…”

“I actually should get going… have a meeting with the coach. Figure out how we’re gonna pull this off…” He sighs, getting up from his seat to gather his things. He’s been wracked with anxiety about the game ever since putting two and two together that he’s out for the next few weeks. It’s against the rules for someone to play with a plaster cast on and he’s nowhere near getting that removed. So the team will have to supplement him. 

“You’re not gonna play are you? You shouldn’t… not with your hand like that.” You insist, watching him get up, pulling on his jacket precariously with his one working hand. He can hear the concern in your voice. “I can’t. It's an instant disqualification… so I have to talk to Coach and maybe I’ll just assistant coach tomorrow, I don’t know…” He sighs, knowing it’ll be a struggle for the team to play without him. And they very well might not win. This is a university proud of its win streak so far. 

“If it hurts, let Coach know… you don’t have to do anything that’s uncomfortable.” You advise softly. Wanting him to be comfortable. Always. That look of care on your face makes him feel a little warm. Making him feel a little soft and fuzzy inside. He can’t remember ever being worried over like that. He clears his throat, trying not to let that feeling get to him too much, shoving his laptop in his bag and zipping it up. “I will… don’t worry about me…” 

He says it but he doesn’t really mean it. Although he doesn't want you to be anxious; he definitely doesn’t need to inflict any more emotional pain on you, he’s done more than enough of that over the past few weeks… he does want you to care. Or it’s more like… once he realized you actually do care, now he doesn’t want to lose that. 

“Just be careful… I know you’ll do well and the team will be fine…” You smile gently. Clicking your pen and watching him getting ready to leave. His bag slung over his shoulder. “Thank you… yeah I just need to chill.” He sighs, moving his hurt hand around absentmindedly to soothe the ache. “Well… the feeling you’re having just means you care. It’s a good feeling, even though it’s scary…” 

He looks in your eyes, down at where you’re still sitting. Feeling struck by your words. You’ve always been so good at that. You always know exactly what to say when he needs to hear it. He hopes to do the same for you one day. If only he can figure out how you manage to do it every time. He just nods in thanks, a renewed sense of relief inside. 

“Dinner later?” He inquires, brow raising as he’s starting to walk away. Walking backwards away from the table, his eyes on you the entire time. 

“Sure, I’ll meet you there…” You rest your head on your hand, watching him go from where you’re sitting. Watching that look on his face. A sort of satisfaction in that he’s leaving but already thinking about when he gets to see you next. He nods. Turning towards the library doors and smiling to himself, making his way out. Sneakers tapping on the hardwood floors of the academic building, sparing you one last glance. Finding your eyes still on him. A stupid sort of giddy feeling in his chest. Lopsided grin on his lips as he leaves the library.

“O’hara! Dude.” Peter’s voice brings him out of his flurry of thoughts. Watching his friend march down the rest of the hall to him. “Where you been? You disappeared again…” Peter chuckles.

“Oh yeah I‘ve just been… busy in the lab and stuff… and my application.” He lies. While it’s true he has been working on his application and piles of homework, he’s also been actively avoiding all of his friends ever since your fight. Unable to handle even the slightest of social interaction. His mind set on you and only you. But he won’t tell Peter that. 

“Dana said you were being crazy or something…” Peter huffs, his brow quirked in disbelief. Miguel’s heart starts to beat a little harder at that. Did Dana tell everyone what happened? Or her version of what happened? “What did she say?”

“Well… she’s kinda implying that you two hooked up after the party last week…” Miguel’s eyes widen at that news. It’s just not true. But that seems to be the story everyone believes so far. “MJ thinks she’s full of shit bu-"

“She is full of shit.” Miguel sighs. Pinching the bridge of his nose. Or trying to with his cast. It was a foolish thing to give into his anger and take Dana back to his dorm. But he didn’t sleep with her. He’s not surprised though that she’s spreading that rumor around. It wouldn’t be the first time. 

“Shit, what happened?!” Peter flips, looking down at the cast engulfing Miguel’s forearm to the tips of his fingers. Looking at the seemingly broken hand, his eyes scanning over Miguel as a whole. Feeling like he has no idea what’s going on with someone who’s supposed to be his closest friend. “I broke my wrist but it’s fine, doctor says it’ll be fine even without surgery.”

“It’s fine?! What about the game?” Peter asks in panic, running a hand through his previously neat light brown locks. It’s against policy rules to play with a hard plaster cast for the safety of the other players and teammates. But Miguel’s the captain, their top offense and shooter. 

“I’ll be on the sidelines and Miller and Durante can take care of it.”

“It’s Princeton, Miguel. We’re gonna get fuckin’ smoked out there…” Peter huffs, going on and on but Miguel just shakes his head, feeling that anxiety rising again. The anxiety you were able to dampen only moments ago. “I know it sucks… I know. But those new drills have been helping… I’m gonna talk to coach.” 

“Alright… but Marco and Santiago need to get their asses in order before tomorrow. I’m not playing defense because they can’t pay attention to the fucking ball.” 

“I know, I know…” Miguel sighs and nods. Knowing this is all bad timing. They’ve been preparing for this game for a while now and it’s a pretty big spectacle. The stands will undoubtedly be full to the brim. It makes him tense and anxious to think about.

“Okay…” Peter huffs, running a hand through his hair. “Well, text me what Coach says…” He sighs, lifting his fist. Their knuckles colliding as he’s starting to walk off to where he’s going. “No more disappearing…” Peter chuckles, looking back as he starts walking down the hall, pointing a finger at his friend. “Yeah, yeah…”

“Alright, I’ll see you later.” Peter says with a nod, his hands in his pockets as he rounds the corner, walking into the library. Miguel sighs, feeling that tension, that tomorrow might not go well and it’ll be all his fault. Because he can’t do more to help the team he’s supposed to be leading.

He jogs down the stairs, down another hallway and outside. The fall breeze and smell of the trees and crisp autumn air flows past his cheeks, blowing back the little curls by his ears. Hunching his shoulders up when the brisk air cools his neck, pulling his collar up and walking across the commons to get to the athletic building on the other side of campus. To meet with Coach about the game plan for tomorrow. 

“Come on guys, one more time!” Miguel calls out to the team. Dressed in his uniform, dark blue and silver stripes, school colors with the Sterling University crest on his arm, a C on his chest. Number 99 on his back. Cleats and his cast to match. It does suck he has to miss out on actually playing but he does a lot of assistant coaching as captain anyway so it’s nothing he’s not used to. Coach Dean is talking with the referees anyway. Schmoozing on the sidelines, convinced it’ll earn them less whistles through the game. 

Miguel sighs, anxious, shaking his head and directing his attention to the mobs of people filling the stands. The sun is setting, the field lights coming on and a slight chill filling the air. A buzz with that too. College soccer fans here as well as lots of students from both universities. People are excited. The team is excited as well as anxious without Miguel playing beside them. Knowing they’ll have to supplement him being out. Miguel huffs, stretching his arms and wincing slightly at the remnants of ache in his wrist, his breath fogging in the cold air.

“Come on… si yeah! ¡Mantén la posesión!" He shouts from the sides, watching the team warming up with the drills and keeping order, following them up and down their half of the field. “Marco!¡Sigue presionando! Call for it!" A mix of Spanish and English naturally leave his lips. Dark eyes follow their form and technique. Keeping everyone in order. They’re doing really well as always. But Miguel would prefer perfection. “Good! Alright break!” He shouts.

The team all relaxes, sighing in relief and collecting on the sidelines near the bench. Some passing the ball back and forth. The goalie is doing some technique in the practice nets with Durante and Miller. Others glancing at the opposing team warming up on their side of the field. “Marco, you’re gonna break you’re fuckin’ ankle doing that. Keep it light, it doesn’t have to be so fast. Slow down and go through the steps, alright?” Miguel instructs calmly, grabbing a ball and demonstrating on the turf by the benches. Marco nods, wiping his brow with the edge of his jersey. 

“Just like that… keep it loose and look at Miller, he’s the one you’re paying attention to. Don’t look at Durante, he’s gonna be looking at Miller for that pass down the field. But that was still good, keep it up..” 

“There’s a lot of people here…” Peter comments, squirting some water into his mouth, catching his breath. Miguel walks over from helping Marco, standing beside his friend and looking out at the people in the stands. It’s a little more than they’re used to. Little intimidating considering this stadium seats thousands of people.

“It’s a big game…” Miguel huffs, grabbing his water bottle. Wish I could fucking play… he thinks. Glancing at Coach, still talking to the refs near the midline. They have a little while before everything starts.

It’s the end of the first half and it’s been a good game so far. Princeton is good but so is Sterling. They’d be better if Miguel was on the field to help them. He finds himself getting frustrated on the sidelines, disagreeing with the refs calls and calling out to his teammates, trying to lead and instruct. The whistle blows and the team finally relaxes. Panting and walking over to the sidelines. 

“They’re fast…” Marco pants, plopping down on the bench to catch his breath. “We have to be faster… but we’re holding our own…” Miguel says, hands on his hips and looking over the team, trying to keep the edge from his tone. He’s here to lead, not berate.

“You good?” He sees Peter covered in grass stains. Peter’s the one that’s been scoring pretty much all the goals so far. Princeton’s defense is good. It’s one of those games where no one’s going to score very many goals, it’s all about making sure the other team doesn’t get too close. “That was really good, keep doing that. And if it works better for Marco to go up the right side, then do that.” Miguel says. 

“I will… they’re so fuckin fast…” Peter pants, grabbing his water bottle and squirting some in his mouth. Breathing heavy through his nose. The team takes a few minutes at halftime to refuel and plan for the second half. Peter and Marco will have to be smart about the next plays. They’re down by two and the other team just keeps getting closer and closer. 

“I got a girl in the stands…” Peter says with a lopsided smile, still out of breath, spraying some more water into his mouth. “Yeah?” Miguel’s brow quirks at that information. He knows Peter has a lot of girls around him and friends that are girls. Makes sense, he’s very smart, an athlete, loud and the life of the party. Everyone always trying to get a piece of him. Not a foreign concept to Miguel himself. Miguel grabs his water bottle too, raising it to his mouth. “Who is she?” 

“Her name’s y/n…” 

What?

“...yeah you should meet her… she’s really pretty and smart and funny...” 

What?

Peter keeps talking, tossing a ball to someone else across the bench. Not even registering the look on Miguel’s face. Like shock and something else. Something Miguel himself can’t put a finger on. And Miguel can only half listen to Peter’s words. “She’s head of the tutoring club… did I tell you I started doing that? Dude, I’m getting paid to do some freshman’s homework and get course credit. It's like the easiest shit in the world…” Peter laughs, talking on and on. 

Miguel doesn’t understand. It’s like his brain can’t process this. Staring at Peter silently and waiting for him to say it’s a joke. But how could it be a joke?

“She’s riiiiight… there-” Peter turns, pointing at the stands. Turning stiffly, Miguel looks out to where he’s pointing. His dark eyes searching the stands and looking for your face. Hoping to see some stranger who happens to have the same name as you. But no. It’s you. 

He watches your gaze snap onto them, seeming surprised to have both their attention now. How did he not notice? You’ve been here this whole time, sitting nearly 15 rows behind him and he didn’t know? But Peter knew?

He can’t help that his immediate reaction to seeing you is relief. Seeing you up there and he just wants to smile. Wants to disappear with you and forget this stressful game. You’re like… his best friend in the whole world. But then that relief is quickly quelled when he realizes Peter is the one who invited you, he’s the reason you’re here. 

Miguel huffs. Nearly getting hit in the face when Peter starts waving at you. Stepping back and trying to make sense of this. There you are, waving back their way. What is this? He wonders. Unable to help the scowl that appears on his face as he observes Peter waving. What is this happening that he doesn’t know about or had no idea could even happen? Another bubble has popped and he didn’t even know it. 

He looks back up at you. Your eyes looking his way. But are you looking at him or are you looking at Peter? He hates that he can’t even tell. He hopes it’s him but it’s too much distance to know for sure. He just holds up a hand weakly. Waving at you. Feeling like an idiot, a total fool. And here Peter is waving at you, thinking Miguel doesn’t even know who you are. Fuck.

“Alright boys! Let’s huddle up!” Coach yells, coming over to the bench and motioning for everyone to come over. Peter moves to head over, gently kicking a ball on his way. And Miguel can’t help but keep glancing at you. Feeling self conscious. You’ve been watching him and witnessing all of this, this entire time? He didn’t even know you were here and half of the game had already been played. And all he’s done is stand on the sidelines while Peter played big shot scorer. 

Your hands wave at him, mouthing something he can’t make out. His brow knitting together as you try to communicate something to him before Coach snaps again. 

“O’hara!” 

His eyes snap to the team huddled by the bench. Taking long strides to get over there. But his mind is a mess. He didn’t even know you knew each other. 

The second half, the rest of the game, it’s hard for Miguel to focus on coaching. He’s watching the team play but it’s like a delayed reaction in his mind. Like his body is here but his brain is trying to tap into some invisible signal stretching from you to him. Peter scores again and Miguel flinches at the sound of the stands erupting. Cheering and echoing through his head. Pounding the sides of his skull.

He can’t help but glance your way every chance he gets. But every time he’s able to spot you in the sea of colors and foreign faces, you’re looking at the ball on the field. Which is always in Peter’s possession. And he can’t focus on anything except what he doesn’t know. What he can’t control. 

…

“Wooooo!” Marco hollers, the team gathering in a huddle on the field and celebrating their close victory. They won, but it was a tough game. Miguel stares almost blankly as the team all slaps hands and says good game. And by the time he snaps out of it, turning to find you, the stands are already emptying out and you’re gone from your seat. 

“O’hara!” The team shouts, bringing him out of the mess of thoughts. The players crowding him in celebration on the sidelines. Cheers and loud voices. Talking about moments in the game, highlights, certain techniques that had Princeton on their toes. All in all it was an exciting match and Peter was definitely the savior, scoring more goals than anyone and making the game. And Peter is all smiles. 

The team heads back to the locker room. Showering and warming down from the game. Miguel stands at his locker. His new locker since the punched in door wouldn’t close properly on his old one. Pulling off his jersey carefully with one hand and hanging it up. Wiping down his broad chest with a towel and hearing Peter with some of the boys walking in from the showers. His movements slow, brow furrowing, grabbing his change of clothes and pulling a tank top on, the black material bunching down his toned abdomen against his deep skin. Listening to Peter’s voice. 

His mind races. Since when did you two become such good friends? And why wouldn’t I know you were coming to the game when I saw you all day yesterday? Does Peter know that? Does Peter know we spend countless hours together? Does Peter know we have this deep connection that I’m actually working really hard to repair? He ought to. 

He listens to Peter’s conversation, as if waiting for him to say your name to confirm he’s talking about you. But he can’t make it out all the way. Something about a party, something about his car, something about the game. He watches the rest of the guys leave the locker room. Peter walks by with the guys and he just subtly, silently glares as they pass, not noticing him. pulling his hoodie on and shutting his locker gently. Pulling his phone off the charger and slinging his sports bag over his shoulder, walking out. 

He slumps down the concrete steps, the hallway leading to the exit doors, opening out to the athletic parking lot. Raking a hand through his hair, his mind a mess. He’s not used to feeling so beaten down after a game. They won, he should be happy. He should be glad. But he just feels indifferent. Or he just really needs to see you. 

When the door swings from someone else leaving, he catches a glimpse of you through the opening. The bright lights from outside assault his eyes as the door swings again. Seeing you for just a moment. Just a split second. Talking with Peter against the fence. He stops. What is he walking into? What’s about to change? You’re gonna be there right when he goes through that door. He stands in the dim concrete tunnel, feeling his heart race. He doesn’t like this feeling. This is the loss of control.

“Miguel!” Peter smiles, making you turn to look back. And there he is, walking out the door. You want to just run into his arms and tell him how great he was. Even though he didn't get to play he still coached very well and played his part in the victory. But Peter is talkative and gets in there before you can. And you don't really want to interrupt when he's talking with his friends. Since this is the first time you've been around his friends with him. 

“We’re gonna get drinks, you have to come” Peter says, ushering Miguel over to where you’re standing. “This is y/n… y/n this is Miguel” 

“Yeah we know each other.” Miguel says immediately. Not a hint of a smile on his face. He’s annoyed with Peter. Annoyed that it’s not a known thing. He wants it to be known that you two are an item. Or… that there’s something going on… he’s not even sure of at the moment. At least that Peter should know to back off. “Oh cool, so drinks?” 

Miguel’s a little astonished with how easily Peter just brushed that off. Eyes flicking between you two and hoping to god you don’t accept the drink invite. But he bites his tongue. Friends. Really good… friends. 

“Uh… I don’t know, I’m kinda tired…” You sigh. Part of you not wanting to go since it’s not your normal scene but a bigger part needing to go so you can feel like you’re really one of Miguel’s friends. Not someone he has to hide. That you can get along with them and be a part of his life. That’s all you want to prove to him. 

“Come on… please?” Peter pouts. And Miguel wants to scream. Trying to tell you with his eyes that he doesn’t want to do this. Not right now. Maybe later when he’s had time to mentally prepare himself. It doesn’t help that you look adorable right now. In your Sterling Uni hoodie with a scarf to keep warm. He doesn’t want to do this. He’d rather just go to dinner. Like always. Talk for hours and maybe even fall asleep talking in your dorm like always. Not this. Please not this. 

His eyes burning a hole right through you, trying to communicate it without using the words since he can’t right now, not with Peter standing right there. Part of him wants you to come and show you off. The other part of him wants you all to himself, not wanting to share you with anyone. But he’s trying to be better. Trying to control himself rather than try to control everything else around him. 

“It would be fun, right Miguel?” Peter asks, bringing him out of his thoughts. He wants to say no. Wants to say fuck no and disappear, taking you with him. But he can’t do that now. So he just nods stiffly, forcing a smile. Almost painfully. “Yeah… come…” 

Your eyes light up and Miguel knows he’s done for. “Oh great!” You smile and Peter is instantly excited too. Talking about how great it’s going to be and how many people will be there. Miguel’s heart is pounding, seeing how easily Peter was able to get you to come. How Peter is smiling and looking at you. A sense of dread filling his chest.

It’s the usual bar. The college bar around the corner from campus where the sports teams usually congregate after a game. Or the general student body on a Friday night. Loud music and conversation, the place is packed. Football and UFC playing on the multitude of TVs hanging in the place. The team filters in all acting like they own this place. Playing pool and getting drinks, talking to girls in corners and at the bar. It’s a crazy night at least for you. Miguel’s seen nights like this before, but this time you’re here. And he won’t let you out of his sight. Even as people talk to him, trying to strike up conversation and catch up. Since everyone knows who he is and knows his name. He still keeps his attention focused on you. He doesn’t care about anyone else in this bar tonight. 

Drinks flow the second everyone is in there, laughter and loud voices, trying to be heard over the music. Miguel keeps his arm barred at your side to help get you through the density of people. Like a shield to make sure no one bumps into you. Not wanting you to be too claustrophobic or crowded. Staying nearby until you find two seats at the bar miraculously. As you sit down, Miguel quickly scans the room. Looking for one face in particular. No sign of Dana and he can relax a tiny bit. Sliding into his stool seat beside you. 

He sits down, watching how you observe the place, looking a little out of your element here. It’s clear you’re not a party girl. You’re a smart, intelligent tutor and it shows. It would almost be comical if Miguel didn’t have a fierce determination to protect you in this place. 

He leans over, getting closer to your ear to be heard over the noise. The smell of your shampoo mixed with your perfume, so close and familiar, filling his senses and almost making him dizzy. His mind flashing with moments of you in his bed. Your body under his and his face buried in your soft sweet smelling hair. He’s the only one in this bar that knows what you sound like when you come.

“Drink… Do you want a drink?” He asks, trying to be heard over the noise, his cheek brushing against yours. Pulling back to hear your response. “Yeah! Whatever is fine…” You smile, trying to speak over the chaos of people and stimulation. A bit out of your element but doing fine. Excited to be here with him and feel like you’re fitting into his world. 

He gets the bartender's attention, ordering you just a beer in a bottle. He doesn’t know if you’d want anything fruity, not that this crappy bar would have anything that good anyway. He’s never drunk with you before. He slides it over to you, watching you take a gulp and smile. You’re so out of your element here. He sighs. A swell in his chest. 

Even though he would normally be drinking a couple beers himself, he just has water in front of him. He wants to stay relatively sober. Enough to keep watch over you and make sure no one else talks to you. “Oh, I thought you were gonna get the same thing…” You chuckle, leaning your elbows on the bar and watching him sipping his water from a plastic cup. 

“Someone needs to be responsible for all these people right?” He chuckles. As captain of the team he actually does feel that responsibility. To keep people in line since he knows they’ll listen to him. “And I need to be sober if I’m carrying you out of this place drunk off your ass…” He jokes, teasing you. 

“I’m not getting drunk tonight, no way. No thank you…” You sigh, shaking your head. Looking down at the label on the bottle in your hand. Then your eyes dart around the crowded room a few times. He just looks at your face. You’re so pretty. Especially pretty in this low light. 

“Well how is the beer at least? I know it’s not something sweet but it’s probably the best thing they have here.” He huffs, keeping his eyes on you, studying you. He’d love to just be all over you and show people that you’re his. But you’re not right now. You’re his friend and that’s the boundary you both set. He’s trying his best to uphold that after his mistakes. “It’s fine… I don’t ever drink much anyway so I’m not picky…” 

He nods. Learning more about you all the time. The two of you have never been out to a bar or club before so this is all brand new. He can see how you’re a little nervous in this place. It’s not your usual hangout spot and he can tell. “Yeah, this place is pretty chaotic tonight…” He comments, looking around then back at you. “You’re okay though, right?” 

“Yeah I’m fine…” You smile. Clasping your hands in your lap. He’s attentive, more recently than ever. It’s true that he’s become like your best friend over the last month and a half. Even though it hasn’t been that long, it’s felt like a lifetime. And with how much time you spend together, it still feels like he separates you from a lot of the other parts of his life. Friends, family, everything else. You spot Peter across the way standing with some people. The only other person you even know in this place. 

Miguel follows your gaze over towards where Peter is and he can't help but wonder why you're looking at Peter or what you're thinking. He looks at the group of people around him, recognizing teammates and classmates, but notices Peter in particular.He tries to remain cool, looking back at you. "He's a great friend… isn't he… "

He says it with a little bit of annoyance in his voice, thinking about how you two have gotten really close as friends and he didn't even know it.

"Yeah he's really sweet," You smile, not really noticing his expression. You want Miguel to know that you can get along with his friends too and you can be a part of his life. "He's funny…"

His brow twitches just a bit. He doesn't know how to feel about the fact that you two are friends in and out of the tutoring club. And that you’re calling him sweet. And funny. He knows how charismatic and charming Peter is, knowing he could get any girl he wants. "He always gets the girls…  he's quite the flirt…" He mumbles.

"Oh really?" You smile and scrunch your nose up, looking back at Peter and seeing that yes, there are many girls around him right now. And he must be very popular with the girls, you think. You hadn't really noticed that Peter was a flirt but you think he's charming. Maybe you're just so focused on being his friend to prove to Miguel you can be part of his friend group.

Miguel can feel his patience slipping. How you seem so oblivious to the fact that Peter is a huge flirt and that Peter was flirting with you earlier when he invited you to the bar. But he's been Peter's friend for years, of course he knows the girls flock around him. It just annoys him that you’re completely oblivious to it. He watches you watching Peter across the room, trying not to let it show on his face how frustrated he is.

"How's your hand?" You ask, taking a sip from your bottle. Gesturing towards his cast in his lap. Trying to talk over the noise in the room. The topic change gives him some relief. Grateful to think about something other than the image of Peter taking you home tonight. He lifts his hand, flexing a few fingers. "It's fine. Doesn't really hurt much right now. It's a good reminder to not lose my cool again… "

"Yeah, that locker room hates to see you comin’…" You joke with a smile. Shaking your head. Punched his locker like some guy in a movie.

Miguel can't help but smile, knowing you’re referring to him punching the front of his locker like a crazy person. He sighs, knowing it was stupid and a loss of control. "That locker had it coming though…"

You laugh at his words, his eyes lighting up watching your head throw back a bit. The fluttering sound of your laughter carrying slightly over the noise in the room and hitting his ears. He wants to make you laugh like that all the time. Make you smile like this every day. And  Peter works his way through the room over to the bar. 

"There you guys are! I thought I lost you…" Peter's face lights up when he gets closer, excited to see his best friend and you, the pretty tutor. He stands behind both your chairs putting his hands on the backs of them. Miguel’s eyes flick back-and-forth between you two. You're still oblivious. Smiling at Peter like you don't know what he's doing. Every instinct inside of him telling him to make Peter back off. But he's trying to be better for you. Trying not to lose control or act impulsive. 

"Spending the night bragging, are you?" You smile and tease Peter lightly. Leaning over the back of your chair. He did score a lot of the winning goals tonight. Peter laughs and loves any attention from you. Miguel can only listen and watch this interaction between the two of you. It's like a nightmare come to life. And he's feeling claustrophobic in this crowded place with all these people. He just wants to take your hand and go back to campus, go back to your dorm, go back to the library.

"Well you all played very well…" You hum. Looking between the two boys. You can't help but notice Miguel’s body language. Thinking he must just be upset that he didn't get to play because of his cast. But he did very well on the sidelines. 

"Peter here was especially on his game today. Princeton is tough…" Miguel says with tension in his tone, finally joining in on the conversation. His eyes flicking between the two of you but landing on you mostly. Watching your reaction to Peter's words.

"It's all in the foot work really. Reading the opponent… Gotta think about 10 steps ahead." Peter says with a grin, in his element. Miguel has to stop himself from rolling his eyes. As much as he loves Peter, he wants him to fuck off right now.

You giggle softly at Peter's joke and his obvious love for attention. Loving the way you can so casually hang out with Miguel and his friends for the first time ever. Miguel clenches his jaw, sipping his water and trying to keep his cool. You take a sip of your beer finding it's the last one, putting the empty bottle back on the bar. It seems both boys take notice. 

"Can I get you another? "Peter asks, His eyes lighting up.

“Um…" You're thinking. You don't really do this that often and you're finally getting to hang out with Miguel and his friends. What the hell… "Sure!"

Peter flashes that charming smile at you and Miguel can feel his control slipping again. Now he's buying you drinks? 

"I got it." Miguel suddenly says, waving to the bartender for another round. If anyone's getting you drunk tonight, it's gonna be him. So he can make sure you're okay. “Okayyy…” Peter huffs softly, raising his brow at Miguel’s rivalry. But Miguel doesn’t care. Grabbing the fresh cold beer bottle and sliding it over the bar in front of you. Looking back up at Peter, a stern expression on his face. 

Over the next hour and your next two beers, Peter just won’t go away. He’s practically hanging on your chair, talking to you about whatever. And because you’re so nice and sweet you just keep giving into him. Smiling at Miguel too like you want him to be in on the conversation. But it just makes him feel worse somehow. Is he really losing you to Parker? Is that how this is gonna go? 

“So… you guys are like best friends?” You ask, your words slightly slurred, cheeks pink and flushed. You’re tipsy and Miguel’s watching you like a hawk. Your beer shined lips as you smile up at Peter. So damn cute and pretty. “We are… best friends…” Peter says in a cocky way. Grabbing Miguel’s shoulder and shaking it a few times, a beer in his other hand. Miguel might be the only sober one in this place and it’s getting annoying. 

He fidgets with the same fray on his cast, pulling on it and pulling on it. Watching you talk to Peter. Forcing a smile when you look his way. It’s getting unbearable. Eyes flicking around the crowded room and just wanting to get out of here. 

“One more round?” Peter asks and Miguel groans internally. You’re both drunk, everybody is drunk and he just wants to get you back somewhere it’s safer. Peter gets to chatting loudly with some other people down the bar.

“Do you wanna leave?” You lean over, getting closer to Miguel, right up to his face and he just gives you a soft look. Admiring your pretty flushed features. He can see you’ve been having fun. “No, I’m good, we can stay if you want…” He hums gently. 

“Don’t lie, Mig…” You whisper, barely loud enough for him to hear over the noise. And his brow knits together, hearing the nickname, your soft warm voice, wanting to reach out and brush your hair back, kiss your pretty pink lips. Anything. “I’m a little tired…” He admits. And even in your tipsy state, you know it’s time to go. 

“Let’s go then… it’s too loud…” You sigh, a distracted Peter now talking loudly with Marco and Miller down the bar. Relief, Miguel thinks. He does really want to make sure you get back to your dorm okay. 

…

“Wai-I ‘ave a question…” You slur, hanging onto him and pressed up against his chest as he’s trying to get you over to bed. His big strong arms around you and it feels so good, feels so right. What you’ve been missing all this time and now it just feels like everything is perfect and everything is good and… and your tongue still tastes like beer and… and he smells so good. 

“Yeah, what's your question?” He asks so soft and gently. His voice is like smooth melted butter mixed with sweet brown sugar. Bringing you over to your bed and sitting you down on the edge. Making sure you don’t topple over. “Hold still, I’m gonna take your shoes off…” 

“D’you think… that… um…” You sigh, the alcohol clouding everything making you instantly forget what you were about to ask him. But the thought is mixing around your brain just waiting to come out. After all, it’s all you were thinking about all night. “M-my shoe is stuck”

“I know, I’m trying to get it off…” He sighs, unable to stop the smile when he hears your little whine. You are pretty cute like this and he likes helping you. Kneeling down in front of you and taking your shoe onto his knee to undo the laces, slipping it off.

“Do you think that… all your friends… that they like-like it?” You sigh, wiggling your toes in your socks as he slides your shoe off. His hands on your calves, absentmindedly caressing up and down, having you in his hands like this is too good to pass up, but he looks up at you at your question. His brow furrowing, wondering what you mean. “Do they like what,-?” He almost called you baby right there. But stopped himself. Maybe it’s just being like this with you right now. Being close and finally being needy for his help, needing him in any way. Or the way you seem so soft and fragile right now he just wants to protect you. 

“That they like me…” You sigh. Pushing a hand through your hair and he pulls your other shoe off, your feet freeing and legs dangling off the side of the bed. 

He looks up at you, piecing together your broken sentence. Do his friends like you? Peter? 

“Like P-peter… does Peter like me?” You ask and his expression goes serious. Swallowing thickly and setting your shoes to the side. He knows the answer. He knows that Peter obviously has a thing for you. It’s becoming more clear you have a thing for him too. 

Miguel straightens back up, standing over you and listening to your drunken rambling. Your mumbles. “Cuz I think Peter is really nice and I think you and I can be friends… and I can be friends with your friends too…” 

He doesn’t understand what you mean. Towering over you and feeling so blocked up. Like he’s miles away from where he wants to be with you. He wants you to want him. Not think about Peter. 

“Uh… I think Peter likes you, yeah…” He mumbles. Looking down at your face. The way it lights up and his heart falls. “Really? So we can all be friends?” 

His heart hurts, looking in your eyes. So confused, not knowing what to think. But wishing he could just kiss you right now and make your thoughts stop. Or to fill your thoughts with him. If he kissed you right now would you forget Peter ever existed? If he kissed you right now, if he laid you down and pumped into you until you were a crying trembling moaning mess like all those times before, would you forget Peter and think about him again? 

“I’m sweating…” You huff, moving to get up off the bed and his arms come to steady you. “Woah woah slow down, sweetheart…” The words ooze off his lips. His hands guide you before you reassure him you can walk. He huffs, watching you walk over to your closet. He sits down on the edge of your bed, head in his hands. Feeling pathetic and so lost. Not even knowing what to do at this point. Has he actually lost you for good? Will he actually only ever be your friend now?

You’re sweating, pulling at the material of your hoodie and ripping it off over your head. Slipping your pants off and sighing in relief. Standing in your panties and bra by the dresser and looking for some comfy clothes. Your mind filled with the thoughts of being Miguel’s again. You’re friends with his friends like any girlfriend would be. So what’s stopping him? What’s stopping both of you from just being together again? Since you’ve proven to him, you can fit in. 

“Miguel…” You hum, his head coming out of his hands and looking up at you. Eyes widening seeing you in just your underwear. Gulping thickly. “Yes?” He whispers. Like beckoning to your call. Like a plea for you to just put him out of his misery already. 

You walk over to him, trying to half haphazardly pull on a big t-shirt. His hands unable to stop themselves, coming up to help pull the material down. You’re drunk. You don’t know what you’re doing. This all just makes him feel somehow worse. Your body taunting him, teasing him with everything he needs and no way to get it. 

Your hips slot between his legs, standing between them and getting closer. Fingers clenching into his shirt and smashing your lips against his. His fingers splay out, shock and surprise. His eyes wide and heart seemingly stops. You’re… kissing him… you…

Heavy breath through his nose and his eyes flutter closed. Kissing you back, feeling your eager tongue tasting like alcohol come into his mouth. Letting it swirl against his lips and his tongue. His big hands snaking around you, holding you for the first time like this in so long. You gasp and hum against his lips and a chill goes down his back. He must be dreaming. 

But your hands go to his chest, pushing him back on the bed, and he’s so weak to you. His back hitting the mattress. He wants this so badly. Wants you more than anything in the entire world. You climb on top of him, clambering over his body, sitting on his abdomen and leaning down to kiss him again. 

“Wait-”

He’s silenced by your lips, trying to be dominant and licking into his mouth. You never did that before. That was always him. But right now it’s like you’re hungry for him in the exact same way he was hungry for you all this time. 

“I need you…” You whisper, pulling back from his lips with a smack. His eyes wide and breath heaving. It’s everything he’s ever wanted and yet it’s not right at all. “No baby… you need to go to sleep… you’re drunk…” He whispers, feeling so weak, his hands running up your warm bare thighs, like medicine. His cast is slightly scratchy on your thigh. Finally your body on his, your warmths feeding off of each other. 

“No please… say you want me, please you have to, don’t you want to?” You whine. Leaning over him and kissing his cheek, burying your face in his neck. He’s speechless. Doesn’t know what to say or think. He thought you were done all this time. He thought you were pining after Parker. 

“I want you… I do want you…” He whispers before his mind can even think. His hands falling from your thighs and flat on the bed. It feels wrong to touch you this way. His love for you overshadows his own selfish need. You won’t remember this in the morning. 

You won’t remember this in the morning. 

“I love you…” He whispers. Into your hair. Choking back a lump in his throat. 

“Mm?” You groan, pushing yourself up drunkenly on your hands, your hair dangling into his face under you. 

“Nothing…” He whispers. Swallowing thickly and wrapping his arms around you again. Pulling you to his chest and hugging you. Keeping you there, knowing you’ll pass out in a few minutes anyway and he can tuck you into bed safe and sound. 

To be continued…

Reblogs and comments very much appreciated!! Let me know what you think or your theories!

Taglist (thank you my sweets 🍬) :

@miguels-cock-piercings @queerponcho @club-danger-zone @bossva @softcrayon

@nommingonfood @bruhhvv

@jessies-unrelagated-thoughts @mauvecherie-writes @haveclayeveryday @kimivixen

@jadeloverxd @chiikasevennn @mvlanchqly @resident-cryptid

@x0tw0d57 @vampyboys @miguelspriscilla

@francesca-the-1st @migueloharasbbm @razertail18 @laysmt

@tojiragdoll @maiyart @wazawazooo @mun-2996 @marshhbs

@curious-randomlr @safixiovi @daddyfroglegs @theplaid-wearingmoose @reader-1290

@yeanika @elysiumsangel @rinnako @mangoslushcrush @twwcs

@izakopanyi2 @migueloharasoulmate @slut4oscarissac23

@miss-loomis @genny101

@aphinthestars @webshooterrr9 @m4dyy

@jdbxws @roserfz27 @ohara-whore @oharaslove @daisy-artfield

@mooreaey6yem @peachey-pie @migueloharacumslut @pxtched

@yougavemeyourheartyouknow @julia4today

[madou-dilou]

"Hey uncle Scar, when I'm king, what does that make you ?" "A monkey's uncle."

bonus under the cut

[hermitcraftx]

just got a dm abt one of my posts and y'all please don't try and show the hermits (or any minecraft youtuber or content creator for that matter) my posts, i'm uncomfortable with it and don't want any of my posts shown to a cc. if they stumble upon it naturally that's unfortunate but i can live with it since i do maintag a lot (something i REALLY need to stop doing tbh i already know i need to make a tagging system just for my blog that wont clog results) but going out of ur way to show a cc is entirely different and something i am not comfortable with.

no hate to the person at all but even if i wasn't a little silly and weird with it sometimes i wouldn't be comfortable with it, i want my blog to be a purely fandom only space with none of the creators involved <3 please respect this

[dimplyowl]

This is exactly why I called it “breaking my silence.” Because no one who has a criticism about Con can ever voice it without being called a bully. Because I know for a FACT that there are people who don’t like his rendition but pretend to because they don’t want to get jumped on. Like I’m sorry that I wanted to vent. About a thing that drives me crazy. And that apparently you all took that to mean “I have the only right opinion and everyone who disagrees is stupid and wrong.” Sorry for not slapping every other sentence in my original post with “this is my OPINION btw”, because it was for venting. And idk about you, but when I vent about something, i dont exactly worry about everyone taking everything I say completely literally because it’s VENTING.

YOU even mentioned expression under "there is so much more to singing then just being able to hold a tone", this is again more a question of taste so you’re welcome to a different opinion but you have to get over the fact that TO ME and a lot of other people Cons vocal expression is great and just makes me FEEL things. 

That's fine, you're allowed to have your own opinions. Music is subjective. To a point. But I can tell you that I personally was never very good at being expressive in performances, and you can bet I got notes on it. And if I had performed the way Con did, I absolutely would have gotten notes on expression, breath control, diction, pronunciation... I don't think it's too much to expect that a professional actor who is getting paid to do this to actually excel at it. Especially since it's prerecorded. And I assume they would have done multiple takes. You're allowed your opinion, and you're moved by his performance. I'm allowed my opinion, and I wasn't. And I listed the things that I would have liked to see done better (or done at all) for me to like the performance. Again, my opinion.

not even a vocal trainer?, your "source" is “I took singing lessons”? Everyone can do that, that says precisely nothing about your own qualification.

Again, this was a vent post, I wasn't really expecting anyone to interact with it, I didn't realize I need to give an outline of my education and experience. It also was a bit of a joke that apparently you missed.

Being a classically trained vocalist is miles away from “I took singing lessons.” It’s the difference between saying “I can speak on biology because I have a degree in biology” versus “I took biology classes.” It means that I’ve been trained in vocal techniques like mouth placement, tongue placement, breath support, posture, projection, vocal balance, etc etc. I’m not trying to sound superior, I’m just trying to say that I know more about this topic than the average person. Is a geologist being superior by citing their degree in order to speak on a geology-related subject?

“then don’t read it! How entitled are you to think that every fanfic author in this whole entire fandom has to agree with your taste in music? Don’t like it? Don’t fucking read it”

Yeah I generally don’t. But I can’t exactly avoid it when it’s not really something that can be tagged??? It’s something that tends to just pop up in fics??? And I wasn’t actually saying that I think everyone needs to bend to my whims or some shit. I was expressing something that annoys me. In an overly exaggerated way. Not every sentence needs to be taken literally. Like if I said “ugh I hate nuts in brownies, brownies should NEVER have nuts in them” I’m not actually saying that everyone needs to stop putting nuts in their brownies because I said so. I’m saying I don’t like nuts in brownies, this is how much I don’t like nuts in brownies.

“‘I’m not saying that Con doesn’t deserve this one’ -except you literally just DID”

I didn’t. I said that people win awards who don’t deserve it all the time. I said that to indicate that having won an award for something doesn’t necessarily give credence to an argument, in general. Not necessarily to this particular situation. I didn’t fucking say Con doesn’t deserve this award. I said maybe he did. I don’t know because I haven’t seen it, and I don’t really want to tbh, but I don’t have to see a performance from 40 years ago to critique a performance from last year. Like I said, voices change. Skill levels change. Especially if you’re not actively working on keeping them up. I don’t know what Con’s vocal practice looks like, or if he even has one anymore, but I can tell you my personal opinion on this performance, based on my own education.

It’s not hateful to vent about something that bothers me without specifically saying that this is my opinion on it, and we’re allowed to have different opinions. It’s not hateful to outline the reason something bothers me. If you interpreted my tone as being superior or aggressive or “everyone should have my opinion”, whatever that means, then fine. I don’t care. I do care about being called a bully when I was venting about something that bothers me, speaking generally into the void of the internet, having tagged it appropriately as a critical post, not expecting anyone to interact with it. That “don’t like don’t read” goes both ways. Don’t like a post, don’t interact. Just block and move on. The block is there for a reason.

Okay I’m breaking my silence. Con’s voice is not good. His rendition of La Vie en Rose is bad. And grating. And his French pronunciation sucks. Sure he can hold a tune, but there’s so much more to singing than that that he doesn’t have, or isn’t trained in. Timbre. Intonation. Expression. Resonance. Breath control. Source: I’m a classically trained vocalist.

There. I said it. If I see one more fic talking about how beautiful/gorgeous/amazing/whatever Izzy’s singing is, I’m going to throw something. Surprising is fine. Because it was surprising (and out of left field) for Izzy to sing. But beautiful, it ain’t.

[a-lonely-dunedain]

I hate the Staghorns so much. every time I do their questline to get that painting I think "oh surely it's not going to make me mad this time around" and YET

[pa-pa-plasma]

one of the things that will always destroy me is people believing that good story = darker/more mature/more sexual. this belief has ruined so many stories that could have been amazing & has prevented almost everyone from enjoying other really good stories simply because the age range it's aimed at is one they believe can't have complex themes, characters, plot, etc etc. they don't believe they can be moved by something a publisher or studio decided is for kids & so write it off without even thinking about it. biggest curse of being a writer who actually loves stories & telling them is that literally no one else cares in the most pessimistic, higher-than-thou, capitalism brainrot way you can imagine. & it's all automatic. because that's just what you're taught.

[awakefor48hours]

My grade school teachers: Be careful of your thoughts, for they become your words…

Me, neurodivergent and has millions of intrusive thoughts:

warning: I talk about my intrusive thoughts in the tags

[cowboy-robooty]

not going to name names bc thats messed up but omfg i was tryna find records of old heta fandom shit to show inu right and i found a hetalia iceberg and I SAW MY 2019 OPP ON THERE. IT WAS SO FUCKING FUNNY LIKE MY EYES BULGED OUT OF MY SKULL BECAUSE IM NOT EVEN JOKING I HATED THIS BITCH SO MUCH WHEN I WAS 14 AND NGL I STILL HATE HER. I DIDNT SAY NOTHING AND KEPT CURTIOUS AND NORMAL OBVIOUSLY BUT ON THE INSIDE I WANTED HER ASS DEAD EVERYDAY AND WELL... you all know im never in the loop with things and had no fucking clue that she was just the antichrist for an entire group of people lol. SHE WAS MY ANTICHRIST THO. I HATED HER AND SHE HATED ME OKAY AND IM LIKE RODF SEEING HOW SHES ON THE FUCKING HETALIA ICEBERG I WAS LIKE OMG.... I THOUGHT ONLY I FUCKING DESPISED HER

[deepseawave]

obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog

Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force 😂❤️

Can‘t believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D

[butnotbubblegum]

using the tags to vent my current emotional state into the void bc ig story feels like a bad plan for this, read at your own risk.

[fossys]

Hey guess who remembered why we stopped being active in plural communities in the first place <-people are dicks

[cherrymoonvol6]

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