#and despite being hurt i don't want to be isolated. it's just that i can't trust again
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
kinda really sucks that i've been made to feel so obnoxious and wrong that i just can't really talk about anything myself unless i'm asked something
#but hey that's what happens when everything you've done that felt safe and ok#kinda never was and you were told you only talk of 1 thing and don't care about anything else#but then now i'm told i'm apparently missed and it's missed when i used to talk freely about stuff#and i can't believe that. even if i try my hardest to#i know i can't do that and i know if i let go of my constraints and talk with no restrictions i'll be told off again#and if not then i won't be told it's not ok and i won't be told it's too much#and i'll be doing harm without realizing it#but that's what i deserve for not putting others before myself#i guess. sort of. went back to knowing that whatever i want or feel doesn't matter#so that's fine i suppose. i can still live and move on sort of#so. it's whatever. i'll be asked and i'll be talked to if i'm wanted or needed#whatever it is i do out of my own initiative or interest won't be welcome and that's ok too#as long as i keep finding happiness myself in something then. ok#kinda sucks to be hurt deeply and then blamed for reacting a certain way too#being told 'i'm hurt now' kinda fucking sucks. because i never wanted this to begin with#all i did was. feeling safe and talking a lot. but that was of course not ok#and god knows how not ok that had been. for how much time. and i wasn't told#now it's become extremely sensitive and i require 100% transparency on whatever happens or i feel insanely bad#like my chest just gives up. and i'm capable of being made guilty even when i'm honest about this too#so i think i'm kind of tired and i really don't know what else to do. and i don't feel like talking#but i'm still here. and i realize i don't feel anger or hatred or anything like it. there's just. kinda nothing#but if i'm asked or talked to i feel good and i feel ok#but because of my hurt i've become less reliable on that and i'm not believed when i say i still treasure it a lot#and despite being hurt i don't want to be isolated. it's just that i can't trust again#but oh well right. i apparently caused all this and caused my personality to completely change#so it's all on me i suppose
1 note
·
View note
Text
~The Type of Guy~
⋆。‧˚ʚ🍒ɞ˚‧。⋆ Seong Gi Hun
not requested 💌
~⋆。‧˚ʚ🍒ɞ˚‧。⋆Seong Gi Hun is⋆。‧˚ʚ🍒ɞ˚‧。⋆~
a/n my little wet rat in his little abandoned hotel:((( wanna hug him so bad
<3 the type of guy who truly doesn't know what he did in order to deserve you as his partner. He is truly grateful for whatever is happening in the universe and for being able to call you his. his biggest fear, even after everything, is losing you.
<3 the type of guy who loves to make you laugh, he goes out of his way to crack jokes for you about anything and everything, no matter how inappropriate it is in the situation you're both in! definitely jokes with you during the games to make you feel better. says some silly shit like "after that id rather be in line at the DMV." he always blushes and smiles whenever you laugh at his jokes.
<3 the type of guy that before the games, his insecurities sometimes effect your relationship; he sometimes isolates himself after he does something he knows you wouldn't like, like gambling. he knows all you want to do is help and support him, but he also knows you don't deserve to be wrapped up in his debt and betting.
<3 the type of guy that wants nothing more in the world than to make you happy and give you the life you deserve. his main goal is to financially support you and spoil you:) without even trying he makes you smile, but still goes far out of his way to ensure he's bringing you happiness.
<3 the type of guy who even when he can't support you financially (which is like, all the time before the games) overcompensates in other ways! i can see him driving you everywhere, learning how to cook your favorite meals; for birthdays and anniversaries if he can't afford a gift or a nice dinner he'll make it all happen for you himself!
<3 the type of guy to be super protective of you, but knows you can hold your own if need be. he's a little bit afraid of you, out of love of course! he likes to walk on the outside of the sidewalk when he's with you, making sure you're safe from the cars or bikes on the road. he'll always be watching over you making sure he can notice and protect you from anything that could happen when you're out with him. even if he can't afford it he makes sure your home is in a safe neighborhood as well:) wishes you to walk or drive safely every time you leave without him and truly means it! he stays a bit on edge until you're home, knowing about the creditors looking for him and just being nervous about what could happen when you're out walking alone.
<3 the type of guy who absolutely adores you with his whole being! before he goes through the games he's much more extroverted so he's better at showing that verbally, he loudly praises you even just for existing and he lets the world know you're his and how much he loves you! instead of this, after the games he prioritizes your safety- never letting you out of his sight, reassuring you he'll never let any of those people hurt you, and just overall taking care of you despite his trauma- in a way that constantly reminds you how loved you are by him regardless of if he's able to verbalize it.
<3 the type of guy who, going after the last one, never leaves your side during the games. in this scenario you both ended up there together, he's horrified you joined to help pay for his debts and even more scared of you dying for that. his priority is making sure you both make it out alive.
<3 the type of guy who after the games only feels grounded when he's with you. even if its not nearly the same as before, he feels closer to himself when he's with you; the security knowing you're safe by his side and the general energy you give off:)
<3 the type of guy who is in awe of every part of you, mind and body. he's so genuinely in love with you and not afraid to show it. expect to be showered in compliments and praise every moment you're with him!
<3 the type of guy to fall in love with you at first sight. your charm absolutely sweeps him off his feet and he knows he wants to be more than just friends with you. he sees a future when he looks into your eyes:)
<3 the type of guy who loves physical contact, this goes with him wanting to protect you, but he does it also to remind you how loved you are and that he's always there for you no matter what.
<3 the type of guy who will always strive to give you the life you deserve<3
#gi hun x reader#squid game#squid game s2#seong gi hun x reader#seong gi hun#seong gihun#player 456#player 456 x reader#squid game x reader
463 notes
·
View notes
Note
what if reader had k*lled someone before and the batfam (yandere) dis not know like «I dont need your damn protection» reader said to the batfam «but the world is so dangerous out there and your just a baby» the batfam said to reader « B!TCH I have k*lled someone the f you mean im a baby?!?» the batfam with horrified expresion «WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!»
That last little part is a funny little over dramatic way it might go.
Oh, you are COOKED. (Do pardon my use of brainrot language...)
CW: mentions of murder...obviously
The first thing they do is isolate you in a room and keep you there for a while until they figure out what to do with you (and so you can think about what you've done).
What happens next? Therapy sessions, which they all agreed on.
Don't worry, you will tell them everything, specifically Bruce, since he's the one carrying out the therapy sessions.
"Why did you kill that person?"
"How do you feel about it now?"
"Do you regret it?"
"How do you feel after our conversation?"
He pities the person you ended up killing and feels a little disappointed. A life was taken by you, an innocent person's life. He didn't raise you like this, did he...?
However, he also pities you. Unless you are trained to kill someone, it breaks you. He's seen it so many times, people commiting murders and then panicking, breaking down, because they couldn't live with the consequences of their actions.
You're a mere civilian, how could you ever have been exposed to that kind of environment? How could he let this happen? No, it is his fault for waiting so long before saving you from the world. He will teach you why it's wrong. He will make sure you heal and never take another life again. After all, it is his job as your father to guide you in life.
That's right, the only reason you could've done it is because you didn't know any better. You are a mere child in this old, cruel world, after all.
In the end, he holds himself accountable. He should've done better. He should've protected you better from the cruel world you live in.
Dick would be shocked. His little birdie, his angel, killed someone? Impossible. You're so innocent, like a baby, so how could this be true? He would take some time off to come to terms with the fact that you're not the kind of person he expected. When he comes back, after a week, he seems slightly distant.
With time, following your therapy sessions, he will return to his normal, clingy, annoying self. However, you can't help but wonder why he was acting so weird that one week.
Despite the fact that he also kills people, Jason is incredibly suprised and disappointed after hearing that you killed someone. Unlike everyone else, he feels anger. You're so young, so innocent, you grew up in a place where murdering someone was not necessary, so why would you do it? He doesn't kill people because he wants to, he only does it because he needs to. But you didn't need to do it.
That's what upsets him most. You chose to do it. You willingly took a life.
Despite being so hurt, so broken, he still feels an ounce hesitation when killing people, so how come you, someone who didn't go through what he did, could kill someone in a situation that wasn't even self-defense? Nothing could possibly justify it! And here you are, proudly announcing it to them. You should be ashamed.
He kills murderers, so what should he do with you? Does that make you as bad as the criminals he kills? God, he doesn't even want to think about it.
Jason won't get over it for at least a month. He'll be very distant around you and won't be seen smiling for a long time. Towards you exclusively, his behaviour becomes incredibly bitter. In fact, he's the one who most strongly encourages Bruce to carry out the long, grueling therapy sessions. He really thinks it'll do you good...
Tim's reaction would be more mild than expected. He would certainly feel uncomfortable with the fact that you seemingly feel not an ounce of guilt or regret. However, he wouldn't change his behaviour too much for too long.
During the first week, he'd be a bit more careful with his affection towards you. No, it's not because he's scared. He simply wants to observe you and see how effective the therapy sessions are. If he feels that your attitude towards murder hasn't changed, he would encourage Bruce to be more intense during the therapy sessions.
He would be more careful with the activities he offers you, since Bruce called a meeting with everyone to establish more rules, those being directed at Tim mostly. Tim's "cool, lenient older brother"-act needs to change.
From now on, no crime films or shows (especially not any violent ones), no crime documentaries, no crime or detective books, no vular language, no threats towards anyone or anything and for at least 14 months, no leaving the manor.
This change will probably be permanent.
#woah this was longer than planned#ahhh lmk if you want the other family members' reactions too but im too busy to do more now#yes “he didnt raise you to do this” even though he didnt know you (in person)...#or at least you didnt know him...#rorii talks#dc comics#x reader#platonic yandere#platonic batfam#yandere batfam#batfam#tim drake#jason todd#dick grayson#yandere tim drake#yandere jason todd#yandere dick grayson#yandere bruce wayne#bruce wayne#yandere x reader#yandere#batfam x batsis#batfamily x reader#batfam x reader#batfamily#batfam x male reader#batfam x female reader#batfam x batbro
705 notes
·
View notes
Text
Keep seeing posts of pro-endos who used to be anti-endo talking about "Ugh, anti-endo spaces are so toxic" which is not necessarily bad, there are bad anti-endo spaces out there and people are allowed to vent about how those spaces hurt them
I do have a problem when they use that as an excuse to call us all toxic and cruel. I've seen many saying things like "Anti endos are so horrible, I'm so glad I'm not one of those monsters anymore"
You need to understand we aren't the monsters you make us out to be. We're traumatized people, trying our hardest to survive with something debilitating, who can't help but see endos as mocking, whether they truly are or not. We can't help but see endos as invading our spaces.
We didn't get to have safe spaces most of the time. We didn't get to be around people who cared about us and understood us. Even those of us that did have a safe space had it poisoned by trauma elsewhere. We spent our childhoods afraid, isolated, and so agonizingly alone, feeling like we were better off dead, that we were freaks, that we were the only ones in the world going through this. This community we made for ourselves was one we had to fight through years of hell to get.
So when random people come over trying to insist that they're "just like us" and demanding to be let in, despite having only one or two things in common that we couldn't even trust they truly had, of course we'll be fucking defensive. In our eyes, you're trying to take the safe spaces we fought tooth and nail for away from us, whether you truly are or not. In our eyes you're people who know nothing about us or what we went through, and continue to go through, trying to barge into our havens and bloat it with bullshit, whether that's what you're trying to do or not.
We've been hurt so many times, by so many people, for so long. Why the fuck would we take a chance on people that are so suspect? You claim to have alters just like us, yet without any of the other symptoms of our disorders. You claim to be systems, yet without being caused by the immense trauma we had to suffer through. Hell, some of you claim that you made your alters for fun, just because you can.
Of course we're wary and defensive. We don't want to even risk losing the spaces we worked so damn hard to get.
If you've had a bad experience with anti-endo spaces, and are pro-endo now because of it, that's fine by me and I understand completely. But that doesn't make us all villians. That doesn't make us all evil monsters.
And besides, many of us have been hurt by pro-endo/mixed origin spaces too. We've seen people have horrible experiences with them. (Let's not forget endos started as natural multiples, who were notoriously shitty, cruel, and discriminatory toward any and all traumagens, and that a lot of that same rhetoric is still rampant in the community, AND that the community at large has basically just decided to pretend that never happened.
-Kaz
#Sorry for the long ass rant I have opinions and I chose violence today#anti endo#syscourse#syspunk#system#osdd system#osdd#systempunk#traumagenic system#actual system#osddid
230 notes
·
View notes
Text
Finding Independence Without Love
Dependency is common in some relationships and could happen in both platonic and romantic relationships. We see our partners/friends as a source of happiness every time we feel down. Our clinginess strengthens when we have a special person in our lives, thinking of them as a person without flaws or perfect. This can be an unhealthy way of how we act or think in our relationships with other people, we can’t expect they’ll satisfy our needs immediately, it’s like you are viewing them as the top of our pedestal, admiring them a lot.
I am saying this from my perspective as a young adult, I’ve experienced the first time feeling disappointed in my ex-crush when I hear he likes someone else. It hurts a lot to hear from the person you’ve admired for so long like someone other than you, I mean, it’s a universal experience, right? Getting disappointed or rejected, you start to get mad at yourself like hitting, pulling your hair, or even slapping yourself for not getting chosen, you feel like an idiot for being delusional thinking you’re the “one” for them. It’s a tragic feeling, I know—but I tried to forget about them, not as a friend but as a “crush”.
During my Christmas break, I struggled to cope with my feelings, so I doomscrolled YouTube for 10-12 hours for 3 days straight without reaching out to someone because I needed to isolate myself from what happened, trying to forget it ever happened. Then, I stumbled upon a show called “Moominvalley” on my for you page, I decided to watch the clips, and guess what? I fell in love with it quickly even though it’s been 3 days since I knew about this show. Moominvalley is a comforting show, and what intrigued me about the show is the character Snufkin, an easygoing and carefree enjoys thinking about things and always comes and goes as he pleases, going on adventures. Like Snufkin, I enjoy solo trips, I'm not a big fan of trips with my friends (depends on my mood but I prefer solo to groups) since I do treasure my alone time a lot, able to think about stuff or explore everywhere without any people around trying to drain my energy emotionally and physically. With my solo trips, I'm able to reflect on many stuff without any distractions. Just because I enjoy being alone doesn't mean I don't feel lonely… I have friends who care about me a lot—including my ex-crush but despite them being overall supportive and approachable, I can't help but try to push them away from me—isolating myself, especially what happened between my ex-crush and me, I can't face them anymore something that leads me to isolate myself from them and my friends, not wanting help or comfort from them anymore. I shut myself from them, I don't want to make things complicated. Snufkin really relates toMoninn on a deeper level, making him my kin since he does push away friends, has abandonment issues, fears getting attached, is sad on the inside, and struggles to talk/chat with someone.
I’ve learned the hard way that even the people you deeply love and admire, you need to accept that you can’t control how they feel or act, because well… they are humans, right? They deserve to feel or act what they want, even having feelings for somebody they like, even if it’s not you. It’s sad because that person made you feel alive or wanted, through the physical touch, words of affirmation, and more—makes me so special to them. Maybe that’s the reason why I fell in love with them in the first place. This also relates to the relationship between Moominttoll and Snufkin, Moominroll being clingy and a bit obsessed to Snufkin makes him admire him because of his adventures but unlike Snufkin, he tries to avoid any attachment to Moomintroll, resulting him to leave everytime to get some alone time or to isolate himself in his adventures. Moomintroll is also one of the characters I've kinned too, him being so clingy towards Snufkin reminds how I acted towards my ex-crush but not as obsessive, just right. Moomintroll has longings for Snufkin, always wanting to be in his side everytime, like how I've wanted to be in my ex-crush's side whenever I have a chance too—but sadly they found someone they always want to be close with… I'm glad for them but I tend to feel lonely without them around, yearning for some message or conversation from them—nothing is the same anymore as before… but that's life, there will be changes, whether you like it or not.
Therefore, I still need time for myself and watch more Moominvalley to find my purpose in life outside heartbreaks. Even I would love to talk/chat with them, it’s time to use this vacation to take a break from them for a while, giving myself time to grow as an independent person—not needing their comfort or help and focusing on my passion for writing, like what I am doing right now. Sometimes, we need to depend on ourselves, without needing anyone to fix us. That's what I did to cope.
To end this, I would like to add a quote from Moominvalley from the character Snufkin, he once said:
“You can't ever be really free if you admire somebody too much.” - Snufkin (Moominvalley 2019)
We can't really be free if we admire that special person too much, draining your energy mentally and emotionally. I wish I've heard this show during my childhood then I wouldn't have to deal with heartbreaks all of the sudden. But I guess things happen for a reason. Moominvalley is truly a masterpiece, especially the creator itself Tove Jansson, the one responsible for making this beautifully crafted show for us to love and enjoy, making us learn meaningful lessons.
We humans seek longing, wanting be loved by that person we admired but I know we're better than that—I’m better than that anyways! We know that those people we love are humans too, so why waste our time waiting for approval from them? We could try to look after ourselves and be a independent with or without them—needing no love from them at all! Love can wait but not with hopes and dreams, our passions in life are much more important than some hopeless romance. We don't need that person we deeply admire to take over our lives, we should move forward and never look back! It's such a shame not to take a chance to do what you're passionate about when we only live once.
It's possible for us to grow to independent individuals thriving to make the world a better place! With my strong love for writing, I could write freely, writing down my musings, feelings, and emotions. I’m grateful to be alive where the world is filled with endless possibilities, where you can be free from everything! Be who you want to be, explore everything until you find your purpose—that’s the beauty of independence without love!
“It is simply this: do not tire, never lose interest, never grow indifferent—lose your invaluable curiosity and you let yourself die. It's as simple as that.” - Tove Jansson (Fair Play 1989)
#inner thoughts#writing to cope#writers on tumblr#spilled ink#spilled thoughts#spilled words#spilled writing#moomin#moominvalley#snufkin#moomintroll#tove jansson#independence#relationships
165 notes
·
View notes
Text
Don't Leave Us
Lestappen x Reader
Genre: angst, hurt/comfort
Summary: With the mass amount of online hate and a relationship that's not public, it all gets too much.
Warnings: graphic depictions of self-harm, graphic depictions of suicide
Notes: I hope you're doing okay, Nonny! Maybe this will help you like it does me :)
side note: I am not above begging for interaction. Fill my inbox with feral driver thoughts! Interact with my posts! It feeds my praise kink and makes me giggle and kick my feet 🥰
Masterlist // Request Form // My Website // buy me a Ko-Fi
It's not like the toxicity of social media is a new thing. She's always known that it could happen. She just wasn't expecting it to be so... much.
Her relationship with Max and Charles isn't out for the public. There are dangers that come with opening that up for everyone to get a glimpse of. Reporters waiting to make snide remarks. Fans that want to bash on the drivers they dislike.
Plus, she's not famous. People don't notice her. At least - they didn't until recently.
Some WAG account had managed to get photos of her with either Max or Charles. Not the three of them together. Speculative fans determined she must be playing both of them.
Not all of them, some people defend her. Those comments make her cry out of relief that at least someone isn't trying to tear her down.
She doesn't bring it up to either of the boys. They have enough on their plates as is. Stress and sickness become her new best excuses to not go out in public.
Sure, she's isolating herself and not talking to anyone. Carmen and Lily keep trying. She's just not ready to show her face.
Nothing is sacred anymore. The rumors are too much. Even avoiding all social media isn't enough. She can't even leave her house without someone trying to discreetly take her photo.
Her skin burns with attention every time she steps out the door. She can't eat knowing people are always looking at her. She can't even go to the shop to get groceries or to her mailbox.
It gets worse by the day. Soon enough, someone figures out where she lives. Knowing she has a stalker makes every ounce of security she once had vanish.
It's miserable seeing her information leaked out for everyone to see. Privacy is now a luxury of the past. It's enough to send her spiraling.
When her safety is called into question, Max and Charles bring her to Monaco. They are willing to risk it for her. Their attempt at giving her some piece of mind by staying in the same apartment only makes her thoughts darker.
She's the reason there is so much negative publicity. The sharks are circling them, just waiting for one wrong move. Is she ready to be the catalyst for her lovers' downfall?
The thought sends her stomach up her throat. The thoughts swirl around her head, paralyzing her body into a perpetual state of fear. Stuck in a luxurious Monaco penthouse. Because people being toxic and stalking her is such a horrible problem to have. She should just suck it up; pretend everything is fine.
So then, why is it so hard? Why can't she just be alright?
One week. A plan in her head and a smile plastered on her face. The boys haven't asked about it. Their concern shows in the facial expressions, but they don't push. Maybe it would be better if they did. Send her already crumbling walls to the ground.
She deep cleans on Monday. She does her best to make sure the apartment isn't in disarray, that her own things are packed away, so they won't have much to deal with. The contrasting red and blue of Max and Charles' clothes are the only things left in the closet when she's done.
Speculations start again on Tuesday. Max and Charles spend all day in some PR meeting about it. It gives her time to sort out her affairs without them hearing her. She cooks them dinner to help ease the frustrations. Their teams don't want them to come out, but they do.
Wednesday, they leave to their next destination. She doesn't leave the hotel room despite the concerns of others. Carmen and Lily come around at some point. They eat in with her and kick out the boys. It feels normal for the first time in months. She almost breaks and tells them.
Thursday is media day. She feels for both boys as they get asked invasive questions about their love life. They look stressed. She gets hugged a little tighter that night. It calms the thoughts, but it's not enough. They hurt more every day. She's just wants it to stop.
Practice on Friday goes well for both. Max and Charles are in better spirits. She drags herself out to eat with them. the boys don't care who sees. She does. The anxiety nearly suffocates her. eyes crawling over her skin. Please, make it stop.
Saturday is a wreck. The qualifying is difficult for both her partners. Their relationship status is once again coming under fire. The speculating is becoming extreme, enough for the whispering of the paddock to become deafening to her ears. She spends her time hiding away, writing her last thoughts in messy scrawl.
Sunday, they turn the weekend around. The podium has always suited them. Smiling for everyone to see and dousing each other in champagne. She smiles too, even though it hurts.
They fly back to Monaco that night. Conversation turns to going public despite team wishes. They are willing to risk it for her. She can't bring herself to say yes. They worked hard to live their dreams; she won't ruin it for them.
Monday comes around again. The notes are laying out on the table. The boys are with their friends, some kind of brunch get together.
She leaves the bathroom door unlocked.
The bath filled, her clothes still on. Her thoughts finally still. Tears streak down her face.
The water is cold.
Then it's red.
~~~~~
"I worry about leaving her alone." Charles pulls the car back into its spot.
"Well, if we brough her along it wouldn't be much of a surprise, yes?" Max checks his watch again. "Plus, what could she have done in the fifteen minutes we were gone?"
They haul the ridiculous number of snacks to the front door. They decided last week they would see if they could coax the female out of her depressive state, just for a little while. Maybe get her to confide in them. If not, then at the very least a therapist.
The distance is damn near suffocating. She's so close physically, yet so far away mentally. Always staring at the walls with a distant look in her eyes.
The apartment is eerily quiet when they step inside. The kind that Charles despises after living in a chaotic house with two brothers and three busy schedules his Maman had to keep track of.
He drops the bags and peers around the entry way. Then searches the corridors until he finds one of the bathroom doors closed.
Charles knocks on the door but receives no response. "Cheri? Are you not feeling well?"
Charles almost dives out of the way when Max comes barreling down the hallway. The Dutch tries the doorknob, heavy breathing filling the odd silence.
Charles pales at the sight revealed to him. Paralyzed that this horrific scene could even be a possibility. Is he dreaming? He has to be - there isn't any way for this to be real... right?
"Charles!-" the Monegasque is dragged from his thoughts. Real or not, Max needs his help. Scratch that - she needs his help. "- Get an ambulance!"
Charles fishes his phone out of his pocket and makes the call. Max is desperate trying to stop the bleeding from the vertical slit traveling her forearm. "Is she...?" He can't finish the thought. Heart being through his chest at the possible answer.
"Pules is there but faint." Max sounds like he's desperately trying to hold back his tears. His mind working desperately to keep her alive.
Charles must space out. He doesn't remember opening the door or watching her be carried out by the swift paramedics. The car ride doesn't register, not until they are already in the waiting room.
Max hands him her notes. The paragraphs she wrote to them. A final goodbye in messy scrawl, but the tails of her letters still curled.
"She did it for us, Charlie, because she thought she was hurting us."
They both break down in the uncomfortable waiting room chairs. Charles violently sobbing. Neither of them respond to their messages. Phones buzzing with calls that go to voice-mail.
A doctor comes calling her name. Charles is only half listening. Specifically looking for either a confirmation of death or the relief of hearing that she's okay. Max seems to be paying attention. His shoulders sag, and there is a soft look on his face when they are left to their own devices.
"She's alive, Charlie."
He erupts until tears once more.
~~~~~
Everything hurts. Her thoughts are fuzzy. There is something soft beneath her.
The white ceiling is paired with the burning smell of alcohol. A sterile environment. Meaning-
Fuck. How did it go so wrong? How had they managed to keep her alive?
The beeping on the heart monitor picks up. A sign that she's definitely alive and in a hospital.
Her attempts at moving are futile. There is too much pain and exhaustion to do so. A pulsing behind her ears drowns out the thumping of her heart.
"Rest now, amour."
It takes a single stroke of Charles' fingers on her cheek to make her entire facade shatter into nothing.
She's mumbling incoherent words. It's a string of apologies, rants of anger and embarrassment, and confusion at why they are even here with her. They are continually reassuring her. They coo into her ear how they are so glad she's alive. That she doesn't have to fight whatever battle through hell this is alone.
Recovery is difficult. They have to put her on a suicide watch, but Max and Charles somehow manage to keep her out of the psychward. Mostly because they want to be with her at all hours of the day.
They miss a singular race for her. Then drag her to the next. Part of the deal they had made was that they won't sacrifice their careers for her.
They negotiated with the teams. Managed to wriggle around their soft spots and get them to approve going public. Max and Charles want to openly defend her. No more public executions. They'er pulling her out of the shark infested waters that is the media.
It's slow. People ask about it sometimes; why Charles and Max had missed that race. None of them give an answer. They aren't obligated to.
"Why fight for me?" She asks. a year after the events.
"Because chéri, we love you enough to help you carry the burden."
"Honestly liefste, we fight for what we believe in. We believe in you and the love you have for us."
"Maybe it's selfish, but we want to share that with you. Keep you here with us to go on adventures and explore the different paths life offers."
"So don't leave us yet. You are worth every sacrifice."
#x reader#f1 fic#fanficion#formula 1#f1 fanfic#max verstappen#charles leclerc x reader#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen x charles leclerc#max verstappen f1#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen x you#mv1 x reader#mv33 x reader#mv33#mv1#charles leclerc fic#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc f1#cl16 one shot#cl16 x reader#cl16 imagine#cl16#cl16 x you#ferrari#redbull racing#lestappen
455 notes
·
View notes
Text
Mk1 intros with exotic dancer!reader
While reader has no bodily description, the vibe I'm going for is
Please enjoy these self indulgent intros! I have put more details about the reader insert under the intros but see how much you can piece together from the dialogue 😂 Also black text is the reader
Johnny * "How much for a dance, beautiful?" "For you and Kenshi? Always on the house..." * "Think about it, gorgeous! You and I? On the red carpet?! IN THAT RED OUTFIT OF YOURS!!" "I'm not sure I'd enjoy the public scrutiny..." * "You are an entertainer like me in Earthrealm?" "An entertainer of sorts... remind me to show you Ninja Mine when we get back home!" * "Many of your earthrealm friends seemed confused that I am bound to both you and Kenshi?" "Yeah... explaining polyrelationships on earth is a bit harder than Outworld..."
Kenshi * "It pains me terribly to know that you can't see me dance anymore..." "I can still see you in a sense. Besides love, I can feel your dancing much more acutely now." * "How many lucky men have seen the red outfit?" "Just you and Johnny..." * "We have already been threatened by the Empress and Princesses to not hurt you love..." "The bite marks you both left probably didn't help your case!" * "Does everyone in Outworld know about your relationship with me and Johnny?" "Unfortunately, court gossip spreads fast, more so regarding me or Mileena..."
Sindel * "Remember my dear, there will always be a place at court for you, should you want it." "Thank you Aunt Sindel!" * "All those times you took the blame for Mileena, I did know about it - thank you." "It helped Mileena's reputation in court to not always the troublemaker, it was necessary." * "Please do not blame Mileena so much for that one night: Tarkat is very easy to contract." "And yet dear, you lived your entire life on the streets and never contracted it?"
Mileena * "Based on the noises I heard from your bedchamber last night, I assume the earthrealmers are good at pleasuring?" "Mil, pleasure doesn't even BEGIN to describe the feeling..." * "Do you remember that celebration by the sea front when you thr-" "SHUSH - Mother does not know about that night..." * "How can you forgive me for blinding your lover?! I wouldn't blame you for hating me-" "You didn't have control! Kenshi knows that and I do too. Besides, how can you forgive me for letting you contract Tarkat?"
Kitana * "A little birdie told me that Raiden likes you..." "I believe that may have been exaggerated..." * "Do you promise you will come back to visit?" "Of course Kit, I'll be back before you know it!" * "Li Mei still does not approve of your choices-" "Believe me, that will not change any time soon."
Li Mei * "I am only looking out for the Princesses' well-being!" "By isolating them from their only friend outside the palace?" * "With your talent, you could have been a better umgadi than Tanya and yet you choose to be an entertainer?!" "I choose to live and enjoy life: not just survive it!" * "Despite what you believe, I am proud of your skill-" "Then maybe show it once in a while!"
Tanya * "Does anyone know about our training?" "No, and I'd prefer it to stay that way." * "Look after Mileena AND Kitana while I am gone - they are like sisters to me." "Of course - it is my honour and duty" * "Thank you for supporting me and Mileena." "I was allowed to be with who I love; Mileena deserves the same."
Raiden * "Do I make you uncomfortable Raiden?" "Uh... uncomfortable is not the word I would use..." * "I can put in a good word to Kitana for you~" "Thank you - that is very kind!" * "Did Johnny explain the relationship to you?" "I... understand the basic principle..."
Kung Lao * "What does Johnny have that I don't?!" "Better table manners for one." * "How much for a dance?" "I doubt you could afford it!" * "Is it true you were engaged to Reiko?!" "He and I grew up together, nothing more."
Bihan * "I will not associate with an outworld whore!" "You do understand that I am a dancer and not a prostitute? Right?" * "I will not be bewitched Sorceress!" "So you DO find me attractive!" * "I heard about the offer you made to Kuai Liang..." "Is that jealousy I hear in your voice?"
Kuai Liang * "I am here to offer you my services... in ANY capacity... or position... you wish..." "Are you still speaking of kombat?" * "I hear you have a red outfit-" "Unfortunately handsome, that is just for Johnny and Kenshi." * "Kombatant or dancer, if I wanted your services, how much-" "For you? On the house..."
Tomas * "Did you ever feel that you did not belong when you lived with the princesses?" "I was fortunate enough to have been friends with both Mileena and Kitana before Aunt Sindel took me in." * "If it puts you at ease, Madam Bo told me of Raiden's how-you-say 'crush' as well, not just yours..." "I can't believe she told you!" * "Kenshi? I am confused, Johnny said-" "This really is a bizarre concept to earthrealmers, isn't it?"
Ashrah * "I heard what your Kriss said about Mileena and Kitana - what does it say about me?" "It says that you are a better person than you let on and that you keep your kindness guarded?" * "You know, I could show you a few moves to impress Syzoth?..." "Oh... thank you?" * "Perhaps you could do me a favour and not tell anyone about the having-a-good-heart revelation from your sword - I have a reputation to keep up." "If that is what you wish."
Syzoth * "Ashrah is a lucky girl... that being said, my offer for a dance is still on the table..." "Oh... umm I appreciate the offer?" * "Ashrah says you are a better person than most people think." "I TOLD HER TO KEEP THAT A SECRET!" * "If it is any consolation, the people of Outworld considered me a freak as well." "It is comforting to know that someone so beautiful has shared my struggles."
General Shao * "I heard about your relationship with the earthrealmers!" "UGH who told you?!" * "You only survived through Royal nepotism!" "Are you still upset about me defeating you at the banquet?! * "Your attractiveness is ruined by your demeanour and personality." "Is this the great general finally admitting his attraction towards me?"
Reiko * "I heard the rumours, your relationship with the earthrealmers-" "Is none of your concern!" * "Had you not left the palace, we would have been engaged!" "There are plenty of reasons we would NOT have been engaged, Reiko." * "You were practically handed a position at court?!" "I chose my freedom Reiko - I did not want to spend the rest of my life as Li Mei's shadow the way you are with the general!"
Shang Tsung * "I want a dance - name your price..." "Easy - YOUR HEAD!" * "I hear you do more than dance for the earthrealmers..." "DOES EVERYONE KNOW ABOUT MY RELATIONSHIP?" * "Not so innocent, are you?" "Like you have any right to judge me!"
For this backstory description to make sense age wise, I'm going to use human years on the scale that Mileena and Kitana are in their 20s with the reader being the same age as Mileena. Backstory: reader is an orphan who grew up with Reiko - the two were just your average street urchins. At around age 7 when they were stealing from the market, reader saw two girls who were very lost and distraught. They asked her if she could show them the way back to the palace. Assuming they were joking, she ignored the request but asked them to hang out with her until their parents arrived. So the three girls and Reiko spent the rest of the day having fun. The next day, Li Mei found the four children and brought them back to the palace saying to Sindel that the reader and Reiko should receive punishment. However, Mileena and Kitana both vouched for them and their abilities in kombat. Shao, upon hearing this, decided to take Reiko under his wing. Meanwhile, Sindel was overjoyed to see that Mileena and Kitana made their first and only friend outside of the palace and decided to take reader in to be trained as an umgadi. So for the next few years, Li Mei trained reader in kombat and the ways of palace life but this did not stop reader and Mileena to sneak out of the palace at any given chance. By the time reader was 16, it was time for her to take the umgadi vows but reader shocked everyone by saying she wants to be a street performer instead of an umgadi. Sindel agreed with the condition that whenever reader is in Sun Do, she will stay at the palace with them. So the reader split her time between staying in Sun Do and travelling.
In terms of trying to match this up with MK1, following Reiko's defeat, Sindel is ready to yell at Li Mei for failing to secure the entertainment when Reader walks through the door offering to do so. The royal family immediately go to hug her leaving the earthrealmer gang confused. Liu Kang then explains the story to Raiden, Kung Lao and a smitten Johnny and Kenshi. The banquet takes place with the reader as the entertainer. When Raiden's toast is interrupted by Shao, reader tells him to back down with a fight ensuing with reader as the victor. She ends up becoming very fond of the earthrealmers and decides to spend time with them. The game then unfolds as usual and after the festival when the earthrealm players return, reader goes with them alongside Ashrah and Syzoth. By the end of the game, reader returns to earth with Johnny and Kenshi with the promise to return Outworld soon. (Also let's say everyone survives in this scenario because I love writing intros for Sindel).
@redlotus98 maybe it's time to make an MK branch of the red house universe...👀
Let me know if you want to see intros for characters talking about the reader
#mortal kombat#mk1 x reader#johnny cage#johnny cage x reader#kenshi takahashi#kenshi takahashi x reader#sindel#mileena#kitana#li mei#tanya#raiden#kung lao#bi han#Kuai Liang#Tomas#tomas vrbada#ashrah#syzoth#general shao#reiko#shang tsung#mortal kombat x reader#mk1#mk1 2023#mk1 spoilers#mortal kombat 1#mortal kombat 1 2023#mortal kombat intros#mk 1
574 notes
·
View notes
Note
Oh oh story prompt!
"After a rather long day, two very tired hedgehogs find out they've been sharing a secret resting place"? Hope that makes sense, just two hedgehogs being like "oi this is my isolated sleepy spot-" LMAO
Sonic was bone-tired.
Eggman had really pulled out all the stops today. Droves upon droves of badniks, all powered by a chaos emerald that the doctor had somehow managed to get his mitts on. Then, if that weren't bad enough, he'd even brought Metal Sonic along with him, if only to add insult to injury.
It was all over now, at least: with the help of his friends - Tails' smarts, Amy's perseverance, Knuckles' strength, and Rouge's cunning, the doctor's evil plot had been sufficiently brought to an end, one destroyed badnik at a time.
"Wasn't expecting you to join the party, Rouge," Sonic had told the bat, smiling at her as she dusted off her immaculate clothes.
"Well, let's just say I happened to be in the area." Rouge's replies always seemed to be intentionally cryptic, Sonic noticed. "And besides, any chance I have to knock that rotten doctor down a peg, I'll take. He's a nuisance for all of us."
"Hah! Can't argue with that." Sonic rubbed his arm, and then reached out a hand just as Rouge was about to fly off. "Wait! I - can I ask you something?"
"Sure, Big Blue." There was a twinkle in the bat's eye, one that Sonic only usually saw when Shadow was nearby. Speaking of which…
"How come Shadow wasn't with you? Is he… on a mission?"
"That's right." Rouge's eyes seemed to glitter even more, as though she could sense his disappointment. "Very important business. I'm sure you understand."
Sonic offered a smile. "Yeah."
"Why, were you hoping to see him?"
"What - I - no! I was just curious! You two are friends, aren't you?"
Rouge's hand found a place on her hip, pinning Sonic in place with a gaze that seemed to be able to find anything it ever searched for. She had always been so incredibly perceptive - especially when it came to Sonic's little… crush.
"Of course," she said, her voice smooth and nonchalant. It made his fur stand on end. "Don't sweat it, hon. I'm sure you'll get to see him soon."
Before Sonic could babble out a flustered reply, Rouge took off at last, disappearing into the darkening sky.
Wow, was it that late already? Despite his frazzled nerves, Sonic found himself feeling tired, mouth stretching open into a generous yawn. Well, since Eggman had been taken care of, surely it couldn't hurt to grab some shut-eye.
Luckily for him, he knew a nice little spot. Somewhere quiet and undisturbed. And it wasn't too far from here - at least, not at the speed he was capable of.
And so, with a final wave goodbye to his friends, Sonic vanished up the mountain in a cobalt blue streak.
---
Someone was in his spot.
Even from up on the bank, Sonic couldn't miss the orange glow coming from the cabin windows, nor the smoke billowing from the chimney. It was getting darker still, and somebody had stumbled upon this place and made it their own.
But who?
This old cabin had been left, seemingly abandoned, up on a mountain. Surely nobody could find it under normal means. Sonic himself only found the cabin because he'd decided to take a detour from his usual running path, winding up the mountain until he was pushing open the door to look inside.
It was a nice little cabin, too. Nobody came back to claim it so Sonic decided to… well, make it his own little place, so to speak. He didn't have any qualms sleeping outside, but sometimes curling up in front of a warm fire was nice too. So what if he wanted to indulge himself from time to time? He thought he'd earned that at least, saving the world as often as he did, and as he continued to do.
So to discover that someone else had snuck in while he'd been distracted made him a little annoyed.
He didn't want to just barge in the front door - after all, if they were capable of scaling the mountain, Sonic couldn't underestimate whoever was inside. Was it Eggman? Had he found the cabin somehow? Had he followed Sonic there and set up a trap?
Whatever the case, Sonic had to be ready for a fight.
He approached as quietly as he could; stealth was never his forte, but if he wanted the upper hand, then he needed to be delicate. After all, he'd hate for his beloved cabin to get destroyed in an altercation. Maybe he could take down the intruder swiftly, or find some way to lure them out before they fought. Keeping the cabin intact was his main priority.
Sonic went to peek through the window, but he grit his teeth with some irritation to find that the curtains had been pulled shut. Damn. What now? The front door lacked any windows or mail slot. How could he get inside without being noticed?
He saw it then. On the second floor. An open window.
Hah! Had the intruder completely forgotten to close it? Sonic took a couple steps back and gauged the distance - he could probably climb up. A running jump would be too noisy. So, giving himself a moment to stretch, he braced himself against the bricks and began to ascend.
His fingers hurt, digging deep in the crevices between each brick, but he pushed on. The window was inches away now. He pushed himself up, brushing the windowsill with his fingertips and hoisting his body up. Slowly, silently, Sonic climbed through and into the bathroom.
It was dark. But it was also empty. A good sign. That meant he hadn't been caught yet. He closed the bathroom window behind him before he tried the door handle, opening it as carefully as he could to avoid making any sound. It was so uncharacteristic of Sonic to move this slowly, but he tried his best, because his favourite sleeping spot was in jeopardy.
He tiptoed along the carpet at the top of the stairs and peeked down over the railing to see if he could spot anything. The glow was brighter from here and he realised it was coming from the hearth in the living room. Someone was using up all the firewood! Oh, the nerve. If they weren't dangerous, maybe Sonic could convince them to leave.
The first step creaked under his weight and Sonic froze, expecting alarm bells to sound off, expecting a trap to spring, expecting badniks to swarm him. Anything. Instead, nothing happened. The fire crackled. The peace continued on.
OK, well, he wasn't in trouble yet. He still had time to figure out who the intruder was. Taking a deep breath, Sonic made his way down the rest of the stairs. He was standing near the doorway now. The living room was just around the corner. He could see the shadows of a figure dancing on the opposite wall; whoever they were, they'd made themselves pretty comfortable on the sofa.
Sonic squinted his eyes. As he focused harder, he realised that the silhouette looked vaguely familiar. They weren't moving - were they asleep? - but he couldn't deny that the stranger seemed to have quills that turned upwards at the end in a way that was so distinct, so unnatural for a hedgehog to have.
He inhaled again, and he caught the unmistakable scent of lavender in his nose.
It couldn't be.
He turned the corner at last.
"You!"
Shadow jolted upright, the book he'd apparently been engrossed in falling from his lap and thudding against the floor. His red eyes met Sonic's, burning brightly against the glow of the fire.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Shadow asked.
"What am I - what are you?" Sonic cried, incredulous. "This is my cabin!"
Shadow removed the green woollen blanket from his legs to stand up. "Don't be ridiculous. I found this cabin months ago."
Sonic balked. That couldn't be right. He found the cabin. He'd been coming here regularly for weeks - months, even!
"I don't understand. This is my favourite sleeping spot. I didn't think anyone else knew about this place…"
Shadow retrieved his book from the floor, dog-earing the page he was on and sitting back down. "That makes two of us."
"So, spill. How often do you come here?"
"Couple times a month. When I have a moment."
"So do I." Sonic stepped closer. "Listen, I had to deal with Eggman today. Rouge was there. Where were you?"
"Elsewhere," was all Shadow answered.
Sonic clenched his fists. He was always happy to see Shadow, although he'd never admit it, but he wasn't happy about this new discovery.
"Alright, well. I'm pretty tired, and I wanted to rest here tonight…"
Shadow stared at him. "So?"
"So!" Sonic fumbled, gesturing vaguely to the door. "Leave! So I can relax."
Instead of leaving, Shadow tilted his head to the side. "Why don't we both just stay here? I'm willing to tolerate it, if it's all the same to you."
Sonic's mouth snapped shut. His face was warm, and not because of the fire. Absolutely not. There's no way he could relax with Shadow, of all people, around. Especially not in such a… comfortable, domestic setting. It was too much for him. He'd rather run a hundred laps through a blizzard than cope with his stupid feelings.
A hand patted the empty spot on the sofa, breaking Sonic from his thoughts.
"Sit. I want to finish this chapter."
Sonic frowned, willing his heart to stop racing. He eased himself onto the sofa next to Shadow, staring straight ahead. For some reason he was afraid to look. Shadow was much too close.
"Rouge recommended this book to me." Shadow's voice was soft and deep and it all but made Sonic nearly jump out of his pelt. "I'm about halfway through now. She expects to hear my thoughts on it."
"Oh?" Sonic dared to look, then, if only because Shadow's attention was directed down at the book in his hands. He scooted closer, just a fraction, to see what the writing was like. The scent of lavender was much stronger now. "Is it good?"
"I'm enjoying it," Shadow admitted. Sonic caught the ghost of a smile on Shadow's face and decided that he liked it, and would very much like to see Shadow smile more often.
"Good," was all Sonic could say, quite hopelessly, as he willed himself to relax into the sofa cushion. His eyes drifted closed for just a moment, exhaustion setting in as he basked in the soothing warmth.
"Let's agree that this cabin is off-limits for fighting," Shadow said. His eyes didn't leave the book, but Sonic wasn't so sure he was actually reading anymore. "It's too nice to ruin."
Sonic's mouth suddenly felt dry, but he worked hard to get his voice back. "Y-yeah," he stammered out, feeling like an idiot. "I don't think either of us will wanna give it up, right?"
Shadow hummed in agreement. "We'll just have to compromise. That means sharing."
"Sharing," Sonic confirmed. Despite himself, he found himself smiling at the idea.
Basked in the firelight, he snuggled just a bit closer to Shadow, whose body was as warm as the fire. He could probably get used to this, he reckoned.
Before he knew it, Sonic fell asleep to the scent of lavender and an arm around his waist.
#sonic the hedgehog#sonadow#rune writes#thanks for the prompt!!! i bashed this out in like twenty minutes haha#hope you enjoy!!
215 notes
·
View notes
Text
𝑪𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝑪𝒚𝒄𝒍𝒆ִֶָ࣪☾.
Rafe Cameron × reader (ANGST)
Warning: toxic relationships, manipulation, gaslight, just rafe being toxic.
๋࣭ ⭑✮˙⭑
˖⋆࿐໋
Rafe Cameron had a way of drawing people in with his magnetic charm and effortless charisma, not to mention his good looks. When you first met him at a summer party, the way he smiled and looked at you, made you feel like the most special person in the room. you were easily captivated by his charm.
In the early stages of your relationship, Rafe was the perfect boyfriend. He showered you with affection and gifts, constantly surprising you with dinners and weekend getaways. “You deserve the world,” he’d say, making you feel over the moon, These moments created a deep bond between the both of you, but they were also a smokescreen for the darker aspects of his personality.
As their relationship progressed, the cracks began to show. Rafe’s controlling tendencies started subtly. When you went out with friends, Rafe would text you frequently, questioning where you were and who you were with. “I just want to know you’re safe,” , "Can't you see that i'm worried",his frequent messages felt suffocating, as you couldn't enjoy a moment without him making you feel guilty for leaving him alone so you'd quickly return.
whenever you decide to attend a party with your friends, Rafe’s demeanor would immediately shift from affectionate to cold as soon as you mention your plans to him. he'd always say “Again with the parties?” or “I thought we had plans tonight.”, "they're more important than your own boyfriend?" you always try to explain that you need a bit of space, but Rafe’s disapproval was palpable. you were left with feeling guilty and ashamed for wanting to enjoy a night out.
During the next few months together, Rafe’s outbursts became more frequent and intense. He would criticize your appearance, and say things like “ why are you trying too hard” or "isnt that way too revealing?",One afternoon, as you were getting ready for a casual lunch date, Rafe snidely remarked, “Are you really going out in that? looking like a damn hooker.” The comment left you feeling self-conscious and hurt, despite your attempts to brush it off.
he'd constantly accuse you of cheating, whenever you don't text him instantly, when you don't pick up immediately or when you come home a bit late, he'd yell and break things, making you cry and flinch then he'd try to comfort you saying he's sorry and he just love you.
Rafe’s manipulation was psychological as much as emotional. When you tried to discuss your feelings, he would deflect or twist the conversation. “You’re too sensitive,” he’d say when you expressed how you felt by his actions and words. “I’m just being honest. If you can’t handle the truth, maybe this isn’t going to work.” you felt like you were walking on eggshells, afraid to express your emotions in for of making him upset or starting another argument.
The relationship became more toxic as Rafe started to slowly isolate you from your friends and family. Whenever you spent time with them, Rafe would accuse you of neglecting him. “You’re always with them,” “Don’t you care about us anymore?” The guilt he built in you led you to eventually distance yourself from those you loved, making you more reliant and dependent on Rafe.
you still remember the time when your friend kiara noticed the change in you, you never were this distant or this quite. When She talked to you about it,Rafe blew up with anger. “She’s just trying to control you,” “She is probably jealous of us, i dont want you talking to her okay?”, you just couldn't say no or disagree with him.
Rafe’s apologies were frequent trying to manipulate you into forgiving him, he would show up at your apartment with flowers and a box of your favourite chocolates. “I’m sorry for what happened,” ,“I love you more than anything. I’ll change, I promise.”
and if that doesn't work? he'll switch it up on you balming you for it all, "it's all your fault", "maybe this wouldn't happen if you just listened to me", you would forgive him, hoping that these sweet and caring gestures were a sign of change.
Despite these moments of sweetness, the cycle of toxicity continued. On one occasion, you discovered that Rafe had been secretly reading your messages, When you confronted him, Rafe’s reaction was defensive. “I just wanted to check, whats wron with reading my girlfriend's messges” he said. “why are you upset? are you hiding something?.”
The last straw was when Rafe had taken you to a dinner with his family and friends where he criticized you in front of everyone When you tried to defend yourself, Rafe would get angry “You’re embarrassing me you know?" , “Why can’t you just behave".
That night, as you laid in bed, you realized that the person you once were had been overshadowed by Rafe’s demands and criticisms. The realization was painful, but it needed to be acknowledged. you knew you needed to leave for your own well-being.
you got up and started packing things to leave. Rafe’s pleas for you were too hard for you to ignore. “im just trying to protect you,” he said, “We can work this out. I promise, I love you.” and you couldn't say no to him,you couldn't just ignore him and leave you were too far in love.
would he really change....probably not but you still had hope.
#outerbanks rafe#rafe cameron#rafe obx#rafe outer banks#rafe x reader#rafe cameron prompt#rafe fic#rafe imagine#x reader#oneshot#angst#obx#outer banks#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron one shot#rafe cameron fanfiction#fanfic#rafe cameron angst#rafe cameron and reader#drew starkey x reader#drew starkey x y/n#drew starkey imagine#drew starkey x female reader#drew starkey#drew starkey x you#drew starkey fanfiction#dark!rafe cameron
177 notes
·
View notes
Note
I know you're more of a Killer person but I wanted to share some thoughts on Horror since I've been going back abit for his comic and lore I've never played the game though.
I feel like Horror has one main fanon interpretation and that he's a big guy who's soft for his other teammates, makes excellent food always eating something or constantly thinking of just food who gardens and cooks constantly. Also, he wields a giant axe but can't use magic anymore and really only cares for his Papyrus. Oh and he's a cannibal who eats humans disregarding the fact that humans ans monsters are different species. Oh also problems saying sentences or a single word so barely talks and he has problems with his memory where he doesn't properly make new memories.
Horror is so much more then that first of all that guy isn't soft, I'm unsure if he can even cook, doesn't seem like someone who would garden but more likely hunt or just go to a store. He's rude, mean, and a sadist. He won't directly hurt you when Papyrus is close by and as long as he is entertained doesn't have much of an urge to hurt you either. He's super paranoid and distrusting believing anyone can simply betray him even those closest. He's not even big its mentioned that he is still small and is only seen tall by the human child. He's probably the most judgemental of the group and manges to have the worst trust issues out of all of them. You already know he hasn't eaten in what 7 years, he's willing to give up food to others if he thinks they need it more even if it would be harder on him and Papyrus he has a huge sense of community with Snowdin in which people respect him but are also afraid of him. He seems to isolate himself from the rest of them not exactly physically but its obvious he keeps his distance emotionally and most of the physically away from them despite being the glue that holds them together. He was only shown once with an axe and it wasn't comically huge it says he prefers a heavy thigh bone and it's been shown he still has access to his magic and can use it even during present time. He wouldn't even physically touch Aliza he made a whole paragraph to stop him from eating anything alive. Also he yaps a lot he's almost constantly talking throughout the comic don't know about the game but I've seen a bit and it doesn't seem like his chattiness is lessened. Also despite what many think he has retrograde amnesia not antegrade amnesia. Meaning his memories of before the injury are blured or gone its mentioned that many of the things in Frisk run is forgotten he doesn't have any problems making new memories or any speech impediment.
Sorry for the rant but you're probably my favorite person to just share my thoughts with
~Musical Anon
You don’t have to apologize for ranting in my inbox. I may be the Killer and Color guy, but I enjoy when people rant to me about other characters and aus too. It’s nice to hear from everyone.
The idea that the yapper in the Murder Time Trio all along was actually Horror instead of Killer is so silly though.
And given that he is only seen as tall from the human child’s POV, and Killer was drawn as smaller than his Chara even though he doesn’t have a confirmed canon height, does this potentially mean that Killer could be smaller than Horror if only by a few inches?
#howlsasks#🎤#utmv#sans au#sans aus#horror sans#horror!sans#horrortale#horrortale sans#horror!tale#horrortale papyrus#horrortale aliza#aliza#murder time trio#killer sans#killer!sans#bad sanses#bad sans gang#nightmares gang#nightmare’s gang#buttercup duo#kc chara#something new chara#undertale au#undertale aus#horrortale au#aliza horrortale#aliza the human#killertale#undertale something new
66 notes
·
View notes
Text
We are told at the very start of the manga that "if you want to know a person, you need to find out what makes them angry"
So I want to talk about Gon, and what makes him angry.
Gon is hard to anger, especially for a kid: He wasn't angry at his dad for abandoning him and never visiting, he wasn't angry at Mito for lying that his parents died, he wasn't angry when Leorio made everyone lose 50 hours at the trick tower despite revealing later in Hanzo's fight that his hope to meet his 'amazing hunter dad' would vanish if couldn't finish the exam on his first try like Ging did (there is no "better luck in the next exam" for Gon), he never gets jealous when Killua shows more strength or knowledge than him even though they are the same age and he used to be very powerful on his little island, and so on.
But it's not hard for Gon to get angry for others: Be it angry for their safety or about people disrespecting their wishes. Especially if they are his friends.
His anger is stronger when his friend's lives are at risk, their safety triumphs over his wish to respect what they want.
But he doesn't care about his own life.
He is never angry when people hurt him. As Hanzo had put it, even injuries as severe as broken bones don't matter to Gon.
But Gon was visibly frustrated in Hanzo's fight.
He wants to win. And he wants to be the one to win not for Hanzo to forfeit. He wants to earn his license, he need proof that he is strong, capable, and worthy of being in the last phase, aware he was only here because Hisoka let him pass.
The person Gon feels the most anger towards at the end of the exam is himself for being a hunter but not feeling like he is worth of the title.
Gon is always the most angry at himself.
When Kite kills a foxbear, punching Gon for trespassing in their territory, Gon isn't angry at him or the fox bear that attacked him, he puts the full blame on himself and tries to make up for it by raising Kon.
When Killua goes 'back home' he gets angry at Illumi for making Killua do things he doesn't want, but he also blames himself for not being there for Killua when his fight with Illumi happened.
Similarly, his instinct when he learned, without a doubt, that Kite is beyond saving, was to blame himself.
He isn't thinking about Pitou, isn't even seeing them, blinded by Kite and his own guilt.
This quest for 'revenge' was never about Pitou, it was always about healing Kite. And since Pitou can't heal the dead, Gon blames himself, he is angry at himself.
Pitou is the one that killed him. Killua was the one that was terrified by Pitou's aura and knocked Gon unconscious to run. Kite was the one that told them to run. Gon is far from the "reason kite died" but he loves and respect Kite and Killua, so he obviously doesn't see anything wrong, he never once blames Killua for what happened.
In fact... He had thanked him
And Gon is genuinely grateful here.
It breaks my heart how much he loves and trusts his friends, eager to share all his good times and victories with them. Wanting them by his side always, no matter how personal his journey is.
But when something bad happens he wants to 'make it better' alone. Is never "we will fix this" is always "I will", because he doesn't want to trouble them, be it by his own emotions, or outside dangers.
Gon never blames his friends, so he is the one responsible when bad things happen, the only one that needs to fix any problem. And if death is a risk, he will immediately assign the lethal job to himself, and himself only.
Gon isolates himself when things get hard but he still doesn't want to be alone. He craves company and support more than ever when he is hurt.
But he doesn't like to feel weak or helpless, so asking for help or opening up is extremely hard. He mostly just gets angry at himself for feeling how he feels and refuse to make it someone else's problem.
He didn't cry after stealing Hisoka's badge but he was feeling helpless and unworthy so he sucked it up and went to do better, it was only after Kurapika asked directly if he was okay that he lowered his walls and found himself crying.
He is just a kid, he can't process his self hate, frustration, or guilt well, and his way to feel better is to help others, be useful and powerful. But sometimes that's not enough, or he simply can't help.
So he constantly finds himself in situations where he gets injured, physical pain is something that he is more used to, that it's easier to process: He let a foxbear cub claws his shoulders after his actions make Kite kill the cub's mother, he let 'puppet kite' hit him even when he learned its robotic attack pattern, he feels weak and frustrated because 'The Bomber' wasn't taking him seriously and he hates feeling weak, so he delayed Killua's plan and got his hands destroyed to prove to himself that he can do it.
But helping others is still the clear priority over hurting himself: The best example to show this is when he visits the Zoldycks. He never took his anger about the Zoldyck family's isolation on Canary when he visited Killua, letting her knock him down again and again in silence for a while before expressing his frustrations with how unfair it is that he need to go through trials to visit a friend.
And when Killua's mom visited, he prioritized canary over his goal.
Gon is just... kind. Is far easier for him to care about strangers than it is for him to be angry.
Gon is smart, but he is not the best at figuring out people when they don't tell him how they feel, especially when Gon is annoyed or unsatisfied.
So I am not surprised he assumed cool-headed killua, who hides all his pain and is so reliable and mature, "always cleaning up Gon's mess", wasn't in pain in the chimera ant arc. It’s like having someone say “be calm” when you’re angry, stating cold facts that only make you feel more incompetent in your emotional state.
It hurt because it feels like Killua, whose opinion Gon values so much, doesn't care about Kite, his super important mentor figure. And since Pitou’s behavior makes it so he can’t use them as an outlet for his emotions, this hint of anger and betrayal at Killua makes him lash out without thinking about his friend.
But even in his blinding guilt and hatred, Killua is important enough to still be able to calm him down, and reminds him of his goal.
Gon doesn't understand Killua is hurt (since killua doesn't tell him) but at least... He is not alone.
"I can't wait" --> He genuinely feels like Killua is as calm as he pretends to be, only he is the 'helpless and in pain' one in Gon's mind and so Killua could easily wait, but he personally can't. He is alone in his pain.
"how long must we wait?" --> Killua is here. Gon never feels truly alone with Killua by his side, he at least has the comfort of an anchor in these trying times.
Killua, who feels unwanted, hurt, and useless, also misunderstands Gon and leaves when Gon needed company the most. Is none of their faults, but it does make Gon's already incredibly bad state even worst.
There is no one but himself to calm him down when he hit his breaking point, and Gon isn't kind to himself.
His 'fight' with Pitou wasn't revenge. It was a failed attempt to "get kite back" to "fix him" which failed, and he couldn't deal with the resulting grief, so he turned it all into a suicide attempt.
To me, Gon gets angry when he feels inadequate or that a loved one deserves better, he has self-centered tunnel vision when he gets angry, so he doesn't realize his anger-fueled actions might trouble others, but when he does he will make an effort to set aside his own goals for others.
He is a good kid, a genuinely good kid with no self-love that is surrounded by adults that usually view him as a monster or a "admirable powerhouse" first and a child second, and it takes an enormous amount of strain to make him break.
He is a very strong kid, I wanna hug him.
#hxh#gon freecs#hunter x hunter#I still have so much more to talk about Gon... he make me so full of hope and depressed at the same time#but everyone is so smart in the hxh fandom i feel like i'm not really saying anything new#even if i do have too many feelings about this boy (my son!) to stay quiet#i'll try to not delete this like a scaredy cat tho#character analysis#gon freecss
554 notes
·
View notes
Note
Omg Yandere Johan x Black fem reader would be so hottttt!
My Little Mouse
Johan Liebert x black!fem reader
Warning(s): Gaslighting, isolation, psychological warfare, manipulation, etc.
Mfw I still haven't finished the 2nd Valentine's day writing piece: 😧😧😧😧😨
You heard the sound of the door knob turning.
Your heart sank. The few hours of freedom you had is now gone, going back to sulking on your mattress like a child whose favorite toy was taken away. You could only hope that the guy who entered wouldn’t mind if you hid under the blankets.
No such luck.
You can hear his steps coming closer, and in just a few seconds, you feel the covers being lifted up, exposing your head to the cold air outside your apartment. Your eyes widened, and you buried your head as deep into the pillow as possible, hoping you were just enough to prevent him from seeing your face. But it wasn’t working. Johan's eyes were already locked on yours. “Ah, there you are,” he said with a smile, and you couldn’t help but notice how charming it looked on this man, despite the fact that he was a psychopath.
“What are you doing here, little mouse?” Johan asked, leaning over the bed until you felt heat of his body radiating on your skin. He leaned down, and you could smell his cologne, which smelled like roses and vanilla, with a hint of cinnamon. His warm lips grazed your forehead before his teeth bit into your earlobe. You flinched at the contact but didn't pull away, knowing he would be more aggressive after hurting you. The pain was nothing compared to the humiliation you're feeling right now.
"...don't do that," you mumbled, wincing at the slight pressure against your flesh. "Please..." You knew that if you said anything else, he'd hurt you more.
So instead, you closed your eyes and prepared for another round of torture by Johan, when suddenly his arms were pulled around your waist, your head resting against his chest. You opened your eyes again, confused, and saw his dark gaze fixed on something behind you. Confused, you glanced behind yourself and saw that he was staring at your sketch book. Your hand unconsciously moved towards it, trying to hide it from him, but he noticed it anyway. "Are you drawing me?" He asked in an amused tone. "How cute." You could almost feel his grin when you turned your head to look at him.
You shifted yourself away from him, trying to get away from him as soon as possible, but he held you tighter. "Let go of me,” you demanded, squirming to try to break free from his grip. “Leave me alone!" Your voice broke at the last sentence, sounding so vulnerable and helpless that you wished you hadn't said anything.
That grin.
That sly grin he had on his face made you want to punch him.
Throughout your stay, you noticed that he'd never put his hands on you, ever.
No matter how much you screamed, berated him, kicked him, and did anything to Johan, he never seemed to get angry at you one bit. You found it very difficult to hate him. You hated his smugness, his cockiness, his coldness, and the way he treats you like a prisoner in this apartment. It was infuriating. "Why do you continue to fight?" Johan asked in a soft tone. "I give you everything. Shelter to stay, food to eat, a shower to clean yourself." He laughed humorlessly. "Why must you struggle so?"
"You know why," you replied harshly, glaring at him. "You don't care about me." You felt guilty saying those words, even though you did mean them. Maybe you didn't. Maybe it was true, and you deserved to feel that way.
Without warning, Johan cupped your face with such force that you felt the pain shooting through your face, his thumb pressing hard onto the side of your jaw. The sting lingered, but you didn't dare to let out a sound, afraid he'd do something to you. Johan made your head turn towards the length mirror, "Look at yourself, Y/N," he told you in a harsh whisper. "Can't you see yourself? You're beautiful." And then he kissed you. This time, it was a gentle kiss, with no tongue involved. The gentleness shocked you because you thought that he would do something more to you than simply kiss you. But he simply placed his finger underneath your chin and gently tilted your head, forcing you to look at yourself.
"I love your eyes, their color. They're the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen." Johan spoke softly, his breath hitting the corner of your lips, causing shivers to run down your spine. "Their shape makes my soul feel like it will burst. So bright and alive. Can you imagine? A beautiful soul, hidden underneath all that..." He trailed off, looking at you expectantly. "Beautiful clothes. Perfect hair. A face that could light up a room and a laugh that could fill up a room." Then, he chuckled.
"And a voice as sweet as honey."
You protested weakly, wanting to slap him. No, not a perfect soul, but not bad either. Johan continued talking, ignoring your protest. "A life filled with laughter and smiles, filled with joy. But that won't happen anymore, will it? Because someone has stolen it away from you." "Johan, please stop-" But once again, you couldn't finish the sentence. "You're mine. Nobody else can have you, understand?" Johan grabbed your shoulder, holding you still, so that you didn't escape him. "Nobody." You nodded meekly, trying your best to appear calm despite the fact that you felt like crying.
Silence filled the tension between you two, Johan stared at you for what felt like ages, before letting you go. You immediately scrambled backwards to avoid his touch, putting distance between you, going back to the corner of the bed. All you wanted was to live in peace, and now you were being forced to give that up...because of Johan Liebert?
"Now, litte mouse, we should start our day. It's been a while since I've spent time with you."
#anime#black writers#female writers#poc writer#black reader#x black reader#yandere monster#Johan Leibert#monster anime#monster#Dr. Kenzō Tenma#Eva Heinemann#Inspector Heinrich Lunge#Anna Liebert#Wolfgang Grimmer#Nina Fortner#monster x reader
213 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hey!! I’d love to see Thalia and Gale being domestic, if you don’t mind!! Your art is GORGEOUS.
I’d also love to learn more about Thalia’s backstory or any Gale headcannons you had!
I hope this counts as being domestic I just can't resist a good nap time moment :') and I also wanted to just do doodles but I got carried away and started coloring 😭 coloring has never been my strong suit so I hope this is fine
And uaaa thank you for thinking my art is gorgeous!!! I'm honestly really glad to see people are enjoying my silly doodles here thank you!!
--- vv Thalia backstory blurb vv ---
In terms of backstory, honestly I haven't been able to flesh it out much yet! I also don't know much about dnd lore (I really wish I did) so anything I say here may not be consistent with lore :'D
However, what I have so far is Thalia used to be Thalia Adkrana, daughter of a noble family from a powerful bloodline of storm sorcerers. Despite being the 4th born child out of 5 children, since birth she's shown to be more blessed with magic than anyone in her family, powerful storms raging around her constantly when she was younger and destroying anything around her, causing trouble for her family. As she grew older, she may have logically understood how it is to keep her lightning under control, but whenever she gets very emotional her magic tends to lash out in response to her reactions. Growing up privileged and powerful, she also developed a bit of a superiority complex and an awful temper when things don't go her way, so not really a good combo when her magic gets unstable when she's upset.
Because of this, her family preferred keeping her within their property as much as possible to avoid dealing with her and to avoid troubling others, especially when one wrong outburst from her could ruin their family reputation. Growing up isolated from world didn't really help her grow and mature properly either, and her temper tantrums got worse and worse the longer she was kept in there and the more her family seemed to just give up on her. The only one she could really confide in and find comfort in was her younger brother.
Everything really changed when one day she decided to speak up against her family and demanding they let her leave the house, let her come with them to one of their social gatherings. Hells, she's been trapped in their property for so many years at this point she wants to engage with people, even peasants at this point because she'd rather deal with them than look at the same suffocating decor for even another second. Voices and tempers rising, she grew more and more frustrated as her parents kept shutting down every argument she could come up with, and the more the storms around her grew the more she proved that her parents were right for keeping her in. Angry at them, angry at herself, thunder roared and the lightning sparks dancing around her gathered into huge bolts of lightning, surging out of her in rage as if her magic itself was screaming out for her if her words and her voice couldn't reach her family. She knew they had every good reason to not let her out, knowing her own lack of control over her own emotions - but maybe if they trusted her just once, guided her, saw her as someone in desperate need of help instead of a stain on their family name, maybe things could've been different.
But that's not how we got to this point. A loud thud of a body falling flat on the ground snapped her out of her state and right beside them lay one of their servants, dead at her feet, and as if the panic she was feeling couldn't get any worse, just close by she saw her younger brother lying on the floor, badly hurt and crying out from pain. Immediately her parents, older siblings, and anyone who heard them nearby rushed to her little brother and the poor servant, doing their best to take care of the situation and Thalia stood there silent, watching her world fall apart in front of her eyes.
The order to banish her from their home came soon after, no longer Thalia Adkrana but simply Thalia, removing her status and all the benefits that name gave. Since she so desperately wanted to go out and see the world, now the world is all she'll have and no home to return to.
Kinda really awful timing when shortly after she started her new unwanted life as an adventurer, she got picked up by a nautiloid and had a tadpole squirming its way behind her eye.
And also shortly after meeting poor souls who shared the same unfortunate tadpole situation she was facing, it's no wonder Thalia fell so hard for a certain wizard who showed her in one night how beautiful, intimate, and warm magic could be as it enveloped her whole being like a gentle embrace - that her power and her emotions were something she could learn to channel and not be afraid of, a perspective her family failed to teach her for years. And even if at times she still found herself electrocuting the waters they stood on in her anger or excitement and hurting them, or maybe her temper would get the best of her again and she would unconsciously lash out at them before she could even realize she was yelling, after every argument or petty insults thrown at each other, they would still watch out for one another and care for each other and soon after they'd be sitting around a campfire laughing and enjoying each other's company.
It's no wonder once she's found a family she truly belonged in and felt safe in that her true nature finally bloomed after being suppressed for so long - a kind, lonely girl who loved being around people and helping them in all the ways she wished she could've helped her younger self ages ago, never letting anyone get left behind and given up on like she was back then.
Although being out of touch from reality for many years did create a lot of very awkward moments when interacting with people during the beginning of their journey, she did learn very fast how best to compose herself in public - best she could when the ones teaching her are also a couple of social outcasts but hey it's fine.
---
Whew! That's a lot actually. Idek if any of that makes sense I'm not going to proofread all that :') I also don't really have any Gale headcanons I do really enjoy reading other people's headcanons about him though!
I hope this answer is sufficient ^_^
#baldur's gate 3#bg3 tav#bg3 gale#bg3 fanart#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#gale x tav#stormweave#baldur's gate fanart#bg3#tav: thalia#galemance#galemancer
162 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hello again friend! I kept thinking about this when we were playing together. What if there was a survivor on a colony/space station of an alien infestation that happens the usual way: Some idiot infected with a chestburster comes into the formerly safe area. This survivor gets the said alien attatched to her and it follows her around. The xeno vents, stalks and runs with the survivor around. Of course the human learns to utilize this xeno to defend herself too, "Sic her on 'em" as we lovingly call it. ;)
Hello, my friend! Here you go :) Takes place on the Sevastopol like in the game! Here's the ideas I came up with! Ended up keeping it Gender-Neutral as it's mostly just me spilling ideas. Xenomorph is female though.
Also, yes, the title is meant to look like that. That's the name of the game according to Xbox.
Yandere! Aliens, Isolation Concept
Pairing: Animal/Pet-like
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Overprotective behavior, Alien pet (?), Violence/Murder, Kidnapping, Stalking, Forced companionship.
Most people are familiar with Aliens, Isolation, right?
You spend the whole game trying to survive a station invested with Xenomorphs.
For the first portion of the game you're chased by just one Xenomorph.
That's what this idea is based on.
You're trying to survive in the Sevastopol, roaming the halls and hiding in vents from people, androids, and aliens.
Except this time... the alien doesn't want to kill you.
She has other purposes for you.
It's unknown why this particular Xenomorph is so attached to you... but one thing is painfully clear.
She won't leave you alone.
Despite the terrifying aspect of this, you can use this to your advantage.
You can use audio lures and flares to call the Xenomorph into the area.
She naturally targets humans, although is she sees an android as a threat she'd attack that too.
Another way to call her is by your voice.
Simply screaming calls the beast to the area to cause chaos and death.
You are, surprisingly, the safest person in this station.
The main threat appears to be on your side for one reason or another.
As a result... she becomes like a weapon... an attack dog (alien?).
The Xenomorph always seems to know where you are, like she's remembered your scent.
No matter how many times you transport yourself around and between areas, you can hear her signature crawling in the vents.
Even if you knew the alien doesn't plan to kill you... you dread going under open vents.
Even with the help you don't find yourself comforted in the dark halls of this station.
You still use vents to hide and gather whatever supplies you can.
Wouldn't it be a neat idea if the Xenomorph found supplies and dropped them by you from vents.
You'll be standing by a vent, only for crafting materials to be dropped beside you in a saliva coated mess.
Quietly you thank your foreign helper and put together an item.
People are wary to target you, they've heard of a human being able to tame the alien creature roaming about.
Yet at the same time... you have access to good supplies....
Anyone who attacks you is met with the same end, a Xenomorph slashing and biting through their flesh.
Hell, even if you made friends, you can hear the Xenomorph hissing from the vents.
She wants to keep you alone.
The Xenomorph would only stay out of the way for so long.
Soon she'll feel she wants to keep her human safe and hers.
Just when you feel you're getting used to the Xenomorph, the tables turn.
She picks you up from a vent or pins you to drag you away.
She doesn't intentionally knock you out or hurt you, yet that may still happen by accident.
When you wake up you find yourself in mini nest within the station.
She doesn't take you to the reactor, she wants you alone.
You're surrounded by the strange Xenomorph resin the creatures make.
You can't move, the resin coating the walls and locking you in a room.
You... you really thought you would escape.
Yet the Xenomorph only chitters and hisses, nuzzling her oblong head against you as she curls around you.
Truth is, you were probably going to die here anywhere.
The alien may try to give you food and water, but you're on a sinking ship.
Having an alien be your protector in this place has a price to pay...
This time... it just so happens to be you.
352 notes
·
View notes
Text
i ended up talking out of my own ass here but i didn't want to delete all of this so please note that all facts here are all stock knowledge and personal experience. do your own research, folks. do not use this for self-diagnosing purposes.
If ya ask me, episode 4 of The Amazing Digital Circus makes quite an accurate (but not perfect) demonstration of what Bipolar Disorder looks like. It's not the matter of "can't choose" or "too moody all the time". It's more than that. Just watch the episode and see for yourself.
The character's name who suffered this unfortunate disorder is Gangle, who is portrayed as a female humanoid ribbon who wears a fragile comedy mask in the beginning of the show that breaks before or during their usual adventures, and the gag is that she always ends up being sad because her mask keeps breaking.
But episode 4 was different. Her comedy mask broke too early, and Zooble instead gave her a substitute happy mask that won't break and might help giving her some form of happiness. Once she puts it on though, she says she feels "normal." Which usually signals the start of a manic episode.
Cue the adventure where they work a minimum wage, and a dead end job. Gangle is the shift manager and she is having a big manic episode. She moves left and right- a bright smile on her face that she can't seem to remove. I mean, why would she remove it right? She's happy. And everyone should be happy.
But then... pressure. Jax told her that he liked her better when sad. Ragatha, in an inebriated state, even told her that she liked Gangle better without the happy mask. It hurts her to know that people don't like her when she is feeling great. So she shuts down immediately, feeling discouraged with her manager work and hiding her face from everyone when she gets the chance.
That was, until, she faces Pomni, the main character of the show. Pomni tries to talk it out with someone, or maybe her herself. But Gangle takes none of it. She believes that no one in the circus likes her and even if they do try to act nice... their smile don't always feel genuine.
And thus, ending her manic episode completely. Try re-reading my previous paragraphs and identify which part of the story she starts having a depressive episode. Because at this point, Gangle locks herself in her office. A frown glued to her happy mask despite the name it has. And right when she walks down that kitchen, her world starts to blur as if one single conclusion starts to form inside her mind- and then Pomni intervenes.
She offers to take the closing shift and advises Gangle to go home early. Hesitant, Gangle still takes it. And with the extra time she has... Gangle takes off her mask... and throws it away.
I advise you to watch the episode and go to timestamp 19:35 - 20:30. It's a wonderful sequence.
So... post-adventure. Gangle isolates herself and blames everything that went wrong all on herself. Zooble tries to comfort her, of which she succeeds- But let's take a sec to hear what Gangle tells her first: "I messed everything up. The mask didn't work. And now, I don't think anybody wants to talk to me anymore."
Bipolar Disorder is a mood disorder where an individual enters a "manic state" and they undergo erratic behavior partaking in impulsive thought or risky activities. And when an individual leaves this state... well, kind of imagine it as feeling an entire ocean dropped on you. Or feeling like you're in front of a live audience with no script.
You cringe at yourself, further delving more into a sea of self-loathing and regret. Realizing all of your wrongs and mistakes and how much it hurts the people around you. Take a moment to think about it. You hurt people that you're close with. How dare you.
Those are what you would think of if you have Bipolar Disorder. But, please take note that it is indeed a disorder which means it can be interpreted as something else and you also could be misdiagnosing yourself if you're using this essay as means to self-diagnose so please talk to a professional for that. This essay only uses one example of a manic episode and to see it holistically, make your own research.
And... uh... yeah. This is the end of the essay. I'm not really great in conclusions but... just remember that Bipolar Disorder is a mood disorder than causes manic episodes. What happens after that is a series of guilt that causes self-loathing and anguish that results in a person needing to self-isolate and become the scapegoat of their own making.
#the amazing digital circus#tadc#tadc gangle#essay#tadc fan theory#tadc pomni#tadc jax#tadc ragatha#tadc zooble#bipolar disorder#mental health#mental health discussion#journaluserambless#ngl this STILL feels like it's missing something#i might deal with that tomorrow
46 notes
·
View notes
Text
List of random and incomprehensible Vox headcanons because despite my Alastor fetish, I do think about other characters
He's an Aries (Val is Aquarius and Vel is a Pieces. No water imagery for him lmao)
He was born in Oregon but moved to Florida in his early forties during his midlife crisis.
He was never particularly famous or successful. Just a very mediocre newscaster living a mediocre life.
Eventually following his midlife crisis, he ended up having an extremely severe bout of religious psychosis in his 50s leading him to believe he was the voice of god and tried to start a cult.
It didn't work. Again, he wasn't popular.
He died by driving off a bridge and drowning in a lake because he was trying to fight god.
No one even reported on it lmao.
Vox is a shark sinner, but because of his head he can't go swimming, so to cope he just sits in bathtubs of water for days at a time. He has to sort of rock or wiggle tho, cuz some species of shark will straight up die if they stop moving in water cuz thats how they breath.
In the beginning before he had Vee tower/severs, Vox had very limited memory space in his TV/computer brain, and would have to literally delete memory files to make room for new memories. He wasn't aware of this at first, and had severe and debilitating anterograde amnesia which made him completely nonfunctional.
Alastor immediately figured this out. A big part of the reason Vox tolerated the abuse was because Al was allowing him to use his radio station as a tiny sever to store one backup, and smaller more important memories.
Alastor would force him to delete whole chunks of his memory just because he thought it was funny. Sometimes he would even delete it himself.
Vox's crush on Alastor died out pretty quickly after he was rejected. His obsession is more like a child desperately trying to get his parent's attention and validation after years of abuse.
Vox did a lot of stupid shit to try to make Alastor happy and proud of him. Mostly murder, unpaid labor and stealing things he thinks Al might like. Alastor still has every trinket and gift.
He was never actually under contract with Alastor. His choice to stay was always technically a choice and not because he was owned.
Vox's antenna isn't broken, it's squished like that because thats the best position for it to receive signal without hurting him. Like when you have to tape bunny ears into a weird ass position to catch the tv channel you want.
Alastor would regularly weaponize signal against him, completely isolating him or overstimulate him as punishment. Or again, just for funsies. Alastor does not like it when Vox pinches his antenna and will forcibly straiten it out.
Vox bleeds and cries in technicolor.
His head and body are two separate things that don't actually connect to each other in any meaningful way. His mouth is basically a really weird tiny pocket dimension.
Because he can't technically eat/drink in a way that effects his body, if Vox wants to get high or drunk he has to inject it into his body through muscle or his veins.
As a shark sinner, Vox's skin is extremely thick and rubbery. It's very difficult to cut him or stab him.
Despite his robotic exterior, he's almost completely organic and shark on the inside.
His original TV head was extremely heavy and resulted in him being bedridden often from the pain and strain on his spine.
Vox eventually had to reenforce his spine with metal to help withstand the stress. This is where the start of his robotic body modding began.
Vox and Val originally met because its cheaper to hire a whore than a proper hitman and if Val dies no one will come looking.
Val did not die and kidnapped him, broke both his legs, and robbed him. But let him live and take back the things they were stealing for Alastor.
Vox has a type.
When he and Alastor "broke up" it was on extermination day. Val found him half dead, face broken in and memories corrupted as fuck behind the sex club he worked at.
Vox never got his memory backup or his original head back from Alastor.
Despite Val having multiple bedrooms in his apartment, Vox had to stay on the couch in the living room because No One is allowed in Val's room and his extra one is his painting/craft room.
The name Vox was chosen by Val.
Vox is double demi, and the only people he's ever really loved or been attracted to is Alastor and Val.
Vox's opinion on romance is extremely similar to Alastor's, where he has little to no interest in traditional romantic relationships and is more interested in a long term partner in crime or business partner.
Velvette was basically his way of throwing a tantrum over Val having his side piece(Angel)
Val was extremely jealous and hurt because Vox was putting more "effort" (lovebomby and manipulative) into his relationship with Vel more than him. Vox immediately was 10000% ready to murder Velvette and move on.
Gun to his head, Vox would pick Val every time.
Vox doesn't necessarily believe that's true both ways and is deeply insecure about Val's relationship with Angel and worries that Val would pick Angel over him if push came to shove.
(Gun to his head, Val would pick Vox every time. Val has basically the exact same feelings about Alastor)
Vox never liked Angel lmao not in the late 70s when they met or in the 90s when he moved in with them. He hates that bitch so much.
Vox and Val got married in the early 2000s for tax reasons and because its easier to apply for Overlordship as a unit rather than as two separate entities.
DAgames will always and forever be my Vox voice claim.
Vox's face can move around on his screen like when people grab and wiggle a still image to imply someone is talking. He usually does this when he's bored or laughing really hard.
Vox has ADHD, PTSD and OCD.
He's nonbinary both in gender and in literal robot biology. He was a cis guy in life with an obsession with gender roles and when he got to Hell he was flat like a barbie.
Vox eventually mods himself to have a hole(largely against his will and because Val wants it) and a port that allows him to have swappable parts.
He is 6'4 but wears heels to be the same height as Alastor(6'6)
Vox wears corsets basically all the time because otherwise he'd have to mod and remove his ribs and he doesn't wanna do all that. He just wants that snatched ass waist.
He's a top generally speaking but does bottom when he wants to. He's dominate in the sense that he has a giant fucking ego and thinks he's demi god, but comes off as like super cringe and not actually a daddy dom. Val tolerates it.
Vox is not particularly gentle or careful when it comes to sex and tends to be a shitty top to Val so he doesn't get Moth Pussy privileges very often. Its a "anal on your birthday" kinda situation.
Vox is a dick and a terrible husband by most standards. His wife left him when he was alive and he doesn't really have any friends he doesn't pay for. However, Val is a very interdependent and low energy kinda person so them both going separate ways to live their separate lives and then coming home to quietly sleep together or say "hi" in passingly in the morning is literally so fine and healthy for them. Val's personality matches Vox almost perfectly.
Val is still abusive though. Vox is definitely getting the shit beat out of him randomly because Val threw a fit and decided Vox was a reasonable punching bag.
Vox has entire memory severs dedicated to "Val" that he purges and deletes every year or when they get too full.
Vox is unironically a cuck.
He also has a objectification kink (yes, it's Alastor's fault)
He weirdly enough doesn't have a rape kink despite the company he keeps lmao??
Vox controls a lot of what Val makes just because he has data and analytics to figure out what porn tropes are trending and popular at the moment. Val doesn't like this at all but allows it because money.
Vox doesn't have hobbies. He's either at work, stalking someone, or sleeping. The closest thing to down time he has is parallel play with Val where he fucks with his mods while Val gets some knitting or embroidery done.
Val did all of Vox's piercings. Vox doesn't really wear them except his nipple piercings, just because he doesn't want to deal with it.
Val also did basically internal tattooing on Vox's modded steel bones. He used a soldering iron to draw flowers and poetry quotes into his steel. You can only see it if you peel off all of Vox's skin.
Val is the only person in Hell other than Alastor to know how to detatch, reattach, and successfully port his memory cards and head. Not even Velvette knows.
Vox is colorblind.
Vox has never once given a shit about what Val does and feels little to no guilt over what he does. Sucks to suck, survival of the fittest and he killed a lot of people to get where he is.
Anyway, thats all I got rn I think. I kinda wanna do posts like this for everyone else but idk. If I come up with more Vox lore I'll reblog with my genius I guess.
#i haven't really done any vox fic but i do want to write a voxval backstory fic eventually#idk I'll do it maybe or never will lmao#anyway#fic stuff#my writing#headcanon#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel headcanon#hazbin hotel vox#staticmoth#radiostatic
30 notes
·
View notes