#and by the time i hit the kidnapping arc i had already decided that this was what it meant so all those uses were very intentional

[a-killer-obsession]

Whoops, you got hit by a bus, and now you're in the world of One Piece. But not everything is quite as you remember it...

General Tags: afab reader, she/her reader pronouns, isekai, monsterfucker reader, vampire!kid, werewolf!killer, wyrm!heat, minotaur!wire, everyone has a human form, smut heavy, unhealthy relationships, dubious consent, serious violence, spoilers for Wano arc, starts pre-timeskip. There will be a lot of more intense kinks, please check AO3 for all current tags.

Chapter 11 - Two For One Special

The best things come in twos :)

WC: 3.4k

Masterlist | AO3 | Chapter 1

A/N: yes I know this isn't how snake dicks work, but also he's not a snake so 😤

It'd been a few days since Kid had announced your official joining of the Kid Pirates, and the crew had welcomed you with open arms. While you hadn't had much chance to get to know them, you had become decent friends with Quincy, Hip and Emma, who had accompanied you on several shopping trips over the last few days so you could stock up on all the things you needed, like clothes, sanitary items and furniture to be delivered to the Victoria Punk in a few days. Right now the Punk resided in a dry dock, being coated by Rayleigh in preparation for the journey to Fishman Island. It was nice having the guarantee that the crew would make it to the New World unscathed, given the low success rate for pirates passing through. As predicted, Rayleigh had been thankful for Kid's help in getting Cammie out of the auction house, even if it hadn't been his intention. It would take another day for the coating to be finished, and in the meantime the crew had been staying on Sabaody. You'd even had the chance to visit the amusement park with the girls, and Quincy may or may not have fingered you in the ferris wheel, a lady never kisses and tells. You liked Quincy, she was fun. If you were gonna sleep with anyone on your own fruition, outside of the big four, it'd most likely be her. A little bit of pussy, for variety.

You spent the first few nights staying with Wire, since fucking him when you should have been resting did in fact turn out to be a mistake, and Wire was the least likely to jump you when he knew you needed time to recover. You were offered your own room, now that you weren't a prisoner, but you didn't feel comfortable being on your own in a place known for kidnapping and selling people. Kid wasn't happy about being separated from his ship, because it meant he couldn't work on your collar, but it was just as well since you weren't up for being free-used right now anyway. It was nice spending more time with Wire, he wasn't as stuck up as you initially thought, he was actually pretty easy to get along with now that you were a crewmate and not a prisoner. He hadn't allowed himself to get close to you when there was risk of you being a traitor and being disposed of, but now that you were a permanent fixture he was allowed to let himself care about you. He wasn't as cuddly as the others, but he was good company. Last night though Heat had practically begged you to spend the night with him, and pinky promised he would be on his absolute best behaviour, so you'd relented.

Heat had kept to his word, not going any further with you than cuddles and some pleasant making out, and now he slept soundly beside you in his wyrm form, forced on his back by his horns, his long tail hanging off the end of the bed. You were nestled up against him, wearing one of his old shirts with nothing underneath. You owned clothes now, but the boys all had such soft shirts that were so oversized and comfy to sleep in. While he was on his best behaviour, you were feeling a bit frisky. You were well aware that your period was close, and it was making you antsy. You didn't know how keen the boys would be on period sex, so you decided to take advantage of the short amount of time you had before your cycle started. You were already cramping lightly, so it wouldn't be long. Not to mention you usually had quite painful periods, so you usually didn't want to be touched due to how miserable you felt.

You also had a curiosity after the gangbang, after watching Wire toy with the slit that hid Heat's cocks. You wondered what it looked and felt like inside the slit, and since Wire had done it, surely it was okay to toy with - it certainly seemed like Heat had enjoyed it. Quietly you pulled the blankets off him and straddled his pretty mauve tail. His scales were always so beautiful, you loved to run your hands over them and admire the iridescence. He was especially beautiful in the sunlight, when his whole tail sparkled with that iridescence. Heat stirred a little in his sleep as you lowered your weight on to him, but didn't wake yet. You ran your finger over the closed slit, feeling bad for a short moment for invading his privacy, before remembering how many times you'd woken up with Heat's dick buried in your cunt.

You used your thumbs either side of the slit to gently pry the scales apart, a little surprised at what you found inside. It almost looked like a pussy, the tip of the higher cock where you would expect a clit to be, the other tip lower where you would expect the vaginal opening. It seemed like they were laid one on top of another, the shafts going up towards his belly. Pretending it was a clit, you fiddled with the pointed tip of the upper cock, making Heat whine in his sleep. You pushed your fingers in further, between the two shafts, feeling the piercings and bumps that lined the lower side of the upper shaft. It was warm and a little moist inside his sheath, a bit like a pussy. No wonder Wire liked to toy with it, and it made you feel flustered to technically be inside him.

Leaning down, sliding your butt a little further down his tail, you held the slit open and flicked the upper cock with your tongue. You pushed your tongue between the shafts, tasting the musky slick that coated them, a taste you were familiar with whenever Heat was in this form. You sucked on the tip, feeling it move as his cocks sprang to life and tried to slide from the slit. The more you worked at his cocks, the less you could get inside him, until both phallus were proudly presented. You took turns sucking on each one, listening to Heat's quiet whimpers, until his own moan woke him.

“[Y/n]?” He groaned, hips wiggling and fingers gripping at the sheets as he realised the situation, “ohh, fuck, fuck [y/n], that's so good.”

“You're so pretty, Heat,” you cooed before focusing on the lower cock, bobbing your head as your hand worked the other. Heat whined and whipped his tail excitedly against the bed, one of his hands burying in your hair and beckoning you to swallow more of him. You let him guide you, wanting to please him and hear more of his cute little whimpers, gagging occasionally as his tip hit your uvula. You'd had a lot of practice these days, and could almost take all of him in this form, the thinner tip far easier on your throat than a human cock. Your eyes watered as finally you were able to successfully meet his base, and Heat let out a high pitched whine that was your only warning before his grip on your hair tightened, holding you against him as he emptied right down your throat. His other cock likewise spilled out, drenching your face and hand with a stream of cum.

When his grip finally loosened you pulled off with a pop, licking at the cum that dripped on your lips with a fiendish smile. Heat sat up and kissed you fiercely, before licking a wide swipe up your face to clean off his cum. It aroused you to taste his own cum on his tongue, and you ground your bare cunt against his tail and the base of his still exposed cocks. His hand slid down your front, catching the hem of your shirt and pulling it up and over your head. He dipped to suck on your tits, groping each of them and squishing them together, pressing his face against the valley he created. He had to be careful of his horns, but mostly they just pushed flat against your clavicle.

“I could die happy in these tits,” he sighed, “fucking incredible. You're so beautiful.”

One of his hands travelled down your soft front, until it could cup your mound. His fingers slipped between your folds, and he groaned against your nipple as he felt how soaked you were. His cocks were twitching back to life as he heard the wet squelch your cunt made as he pushed two fingers inside you, pumping you deep and slow. You were practically dripping on his hand with how wet you were, bouncing slighting to try fuck his fingers faster. Heat added a third finger and stretched you out more. He focused on pleasing you, using his other hand to rub your clit as he watched your face contort in pleasure, your mouth making a pretty little ‘o’ as you hit your orgasm and shuddered against him with a gasp.

“Heat,” you panted against his chest as he pulled his fingers out of you, “I- I want your cocks.”

“Plural?” He questioned with a raised brow. You'd never asked for both.

“Plural,” you confirmed, nipping at his neck and making him groan until he gave in and pushed you onto your back beside him, quickly rolling to take his place between your legs. He spread your legs wide and rut his lower shaft against your soaked cunt.

“Relax for me, treasure,” Heat cooed, holding both cocks squeezed together in his hand and pressing the tips to your entrance. He was overly excited to bury both of his dicks inside you at once, but didn't want to hurt you by being too hasty. The tips slid inside you easily, the tapered ends meaning that the first quarter or so of his lengths only amounted to about the girth of his human cock. It was when he pushed in further that you began to feel the stretch, and you made a low groan as he bullied his cocks inside you. You gripped his forearms bruisingly tight as he stretched you out, his combined width being even greater than Wire's as he reached the thickest part. It was easier for him to press the rest in once you'd eased enough to accommodate, and Heat let out a stuttered breath as he stilled with his cocks deep inside you.

“Fuck, you're so perfect,” he groaned, “so good to me, my perfect treasure.”

“So.. so full,” you whined, “feels good, hnng.”

“Yeah? You like having both my cocks inside you? Stretching you out, like the good little slut you are?” Heat purred, slowly pulling most of the way out before sliding back in again. You made strained groans as he fucked you slowly, your belly bulging from how full you were, fingernails digging into his arms and back. “Fuck you take me so well.”

Heat was barely moving but you were so full that every inch of your inner walls were being pressed against, and it was driving you to madness. He'd hardly entered you and you already felt like you were going to cum again. Your legs wrapped around his tail at the same time as you grabbed his horns, and you pulled on them to bring his face closer, capturing his bottom lip with your teeth and tugging on it. “Harder,” you growled, “fuck me harder, Heat.”

“Fuck,” Heat groaned as he picked up his pace, the bed underneath you creaking with every thrust as you started to scream like a bitch in heat, the whole inn would no doubt hear you. Let them hear, you were in heaven, cock drunk as Heat fucked you hard, pulling what felt like endless orgasms from you as you cried out. “I wanna see you covered in cum,” Heat groaned, “can I finish on you?”

“Please,” you whined, “wanna- wanna be painted. Paint me Heat, give it to me.”

“You're such a good girl,” Heat cooed as he pulled one last orgasm from you, making you go limp as you panted, dazed and blissed out. He pulled his cocks from you, making you whine at the emptiness, before he held them in one hand and jerked himself off. Heat made deep grunts as he fisted himself, releasing volatile ropes of cum over your belly and breasts as he quivered above you. With a contented sigh he rolled to your side, breathing heavy next to you. Your hand lazily ran through the cum, rubbing it over your breasts as you sleepily groped at them before falling limp again.

“I thought you were taking a break,” Heat asked.

“I was, but I woke up horny,” you explained, “I'm always like this when I'm about to get my period. It'll probably come in a few hours.”

“Boo, that means Kid will want you staying with him,” Heat pouted.

“Oh? He's into period sex?” You asked.

“He likes blood,” Heat replied, in a tone that made you think he was a little confused that you didn't realise that.

“I could just not tell him,” you suggested mischievously.

“He'll smell it a mile away,” Heat sighed, “there's no avoiding it. He'll treat you good though, he's well practised with periods. You'll be spoiled for sure.”

“Well then,” you giggled, “I guess I can't complain about that. Though I get the feeling you'd spoil me too.”

“I'll spoil you after,” he promised, “my pretty treasure. In the meantime…” you giggled and squirmed as he leaned over and licked a long stripe up your belly, cleaning off a lot of his cum and tickling you in the process, “... I've got a few more hours until you get Kid-napped. But I'm gonna have to groom you first,” he made several more licks all over your breasts and tummy, “before I get you all messy again.”

A couple hours later and just as predicted, your period had come. Heat offered you some weed and more sex to help with the pain, which you happily accepted, resulting in a round of dizzying, giggly, shower sex. After that the two of you met up with Wire and Killer, the four of you heading off to do some shopping. Kid had ordered them to find you an appropriate weapon, and for your training to start as soon as the crew were back at sea. You knew you were good with a rifle, from all your hunting trips with your dad, so you were on the lookout for a suitable one. The boys had also noticed that you were decently strong, not to mention the potential of your armament haki, so they were also looking for a close combat weapon that took advantage of those strengths. You weren't very fast or agile though, so they also had to keep that in mind. The boys had high standards though, and it felt like it was going to take all day to find weapons they approved off. They couldn't decide on the type of weapon either - Killer wanted to train you with swords, Wire wanted to train you with something long like a spear, and Heat wanted you to get something that would just look cool and take advantage of your strength, like a battleaxe.

The rifle was the easier weapon to find, your eye caught by a beautiful single shot rifle, the wooden parts made from the blue stripes of one of Sabaody's giant mangroves, trimmed with silver metal that had been delicately engraved with florals. It was a beautiful gun, and close to what you were familiar with using back home. Right now it was slung over Heat's back - the boys wanted Kid to inspect it before you were allowed to use it. You felt a little like a princess with the way they were all treating you like some precious thing, it was nice to feel like they all had your safety in mind. Not to mention it was such a beautiful gun that they were worried someone would try to snatch it from you, and without knowing your fighting capabilities they didn't want to risk that.

Heat and Killer were currently debating a battle axe Heat had found, while on the other side of the store you followed Wire, who was examining the range of polearm weapons for sale. You hummed to yourself as you walked behind him; despite your cramps you were in a good mood, you felt truly special with the care the boys were taking to choose your weapons.

“Someone seems chipper,” Wire noted as he pulled a spear from the rack and inspected it, “have a good morning with Heat did we? We certainly all heard you, and by the sounds of it he either he fucked your brains out or murdered you, and I'm gonna guess it wasn't the later.”

“Actually, I'm feeling quite proud of myself,” you replied with a grin, “I took both of his dicks today.”

“Oh, in the same hole?” Wire put down the spear to give you his attention, this was far more interesting than weapon shopping.

“Yeah!” You smiled, running your hand down the staff of a halbert. Now that you looked at it, it was quite lovely. It was made from that same blue wood, and the silver axe-like blade featured ornate cut outs that could be mistaken for matching your gun. A weapon like this would give you a lot of options; it was long, so you could keep enemies a little further away, it had the blades either side for swinging motions that took advantage of your strength, and it had the long spear tip for stabbing motions. “What about this one?”

“I told you you could do it, good job, proud of you,” Wire pressed a kiss into your hair before looking at the halberd and pulling it from the rack, “Looks well made, I think this would suit you nicely.”

“And it matches my gun!” You beamed.

“It does indeed,” Wire offered a soft smile. He liked how enthusiastic you were about learning to fight, he appreciated someone willing to stand up for themselves instead of relying on others. As much as they were all treating you like some delicate, precious thing, Wire had high hopes for your fighting capabilities, and if you selected the halberd it meant he could train you himself. As much as your pussy was the hot commodity you were kept on board for, he was growing quite fond of you, and he didn't want to always be worrying about your safety when they got to the New World, so he'd make sure you had all the skills you needed to hold your own in battle. “If this is what you want, I'll teach you to use it. Give it a hold, see how the weight feels.”

Wire handed you the halberd and you held it with both hands, Wire gently shifting them to the correct positions along the staff. “Feels good, not too heavy,” you hummed, “I think I could work with this.”

“You look good with it,” Wire noted, “OI, KIL, HEAT, GET YOUR ASSES OVER HERE.”

Heat put the axe back on the rack and the two of them scurried over, playfully pushing each other as they moved. Wire made a gesture with his head for you to hand them the weapon, and Killer took it and looked over it carefully. “Not bad,” Killer mused, before handing it to Heat to look at, “This what you want?” Killer asked you.

“Yeah, I like it,” you replied as Heat handed it back.

“You look good with it,” Heat praised.

“That's what Wire said!” You giggled.

“I agree,” Killer added, “of course Kid will want to check it over, but I think we're good here.”

“Yay!” You squeaked, messing around with the weapon, “Look! I can stab AND slice! It's a two for one special! Yippee!”

“You're fucking adorable,” Heat laughed, ruffling your hair as the men made their way to the checkout counter, “you're gonna look so cute covered in our enemy's blood.”

“Aw, thanks Heat,” you smiled, standing on your tippy toes to kiss him on the cheek. Heat had a cute pink flush for the next hour, every now and then touching the spot on his cheek like he was remembering the feel of your lips there.

[Next Chapter] - coming soon

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[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Okay so i wanna see some more headcanons of the farmer ready to kick someone's ass so how about this:

Someone who is jealous of the farmer or like someone on like the enemy side, decided to kidnap their spouse to try and either ransom them or lure the farmer out, thinking it will be an easy win.

Then suddenly the next moment, the farmer already arrived before they could send a message to them (either the farmer got help from Mr.Qi or they track them down themselves), absolutely filled with rage and is now seconds away from beating the kidnapper.

How would the SDV/SVE bachelors and bachelorettes react to that?

I probably got the fastest rush of inspiration because holy cow, this is such a funny and cool scenario. Thank you so much, dear anon, for your ask! Enjoy! 💕

_____________________________

The bachelors/ettes reaction to their kidnapping for revenge/ransom, where their spouse Farmer, furious, comes to rescue them

SDV bachelors/ettes:

"You're demanding... 500 gold bars for me? I'm worth twice that, you know, even more! That's just insulting..." The kidnappers had already regretted their scheme before Farmer arrived to rescue Elliott, because the writer's outrage is already giving them a headache. Even with a gag in his mouth he's still talking! And just when they think the day can't get any worse, Farmer arrived quickly and kicked their asses. "Can you believe it, they only asked for 500 bars for me! I'm worth more than that, right dear?" Elliott was indignant to the core. Farmer grinned as they freed Elliott from the ropes, confirming that he was worth much more than that.

Sebastian did not think that in such a situation he would feel so... annoyed. Sure, being stolen by strangers had instilled fear at first, but when the leader of the gang started telling a self-pity story about how "I deserved everything, not Farmer, now I've stolen their lover and they're gonna pay!", Sebby thought the leader was some kind of cartoon villain. How absurd. Farmer who came in a couple of hours later also looks annoyed when the leader started telling their "villain arc". But before they can start, they get a fist in the face from Farmer, going straight to the realm of dreams. This was where Sebastian chuckled, at least something here was funny.

Shane's kidnapper was confident and said with a snide smile that either Farmer paid 500,000 gold for Shane or Farmer would "get their spouse in pieces". "800,000 gold and I'll ask Farmer not to kill you specifically." The kidnapper was a little taken aback by those words and the fact that the chicken man was completely calm. It was as if he didn't care. When the leader heard the noise and shouts of his minions, whose voices were quickly silenced, he turned to Shane in a panic and pleaded: " I only have 100,000 gold! Please, mercy!" "Alright, deal." Enough for the coop upgrade that Shane and his spouse have wanted for a long time.

"Heyyy, chill bro. Let's just talk, ok?" Unfortunately, Sam's smooth speech was met with only a rude "shut up, worthless musician!" in his direction. "I'm actually pretty good on guitar... So rude.." he muttered. When Farmer, angry as an ox, entered the room where their husband and the leader of the kidnapping "party" were, the kidnapper tried to soften the situation for themself. "They called me a worthless musician." The kidnapper turned around in horror at a smirking Sam. "And they also hit me." It wasn't true, but the kidnapper was already pale as ghost when Farmer turned red with rage after Sam's last words.

"Let me go now, or I'll kick your asses!" Though the ropes around Alex were tight, the athlete was unwilling to give up without a fight and continued to break free. "Shut up! You're going to pay for what your stupid Farmer-" "Don't you dare say that about my spouse!" The bravery was commendable, but the kidnapper was losing patience by now and wanted to send him into a knockout. But ended up knocking out themself as they didn't notice Farmer behind them. "What an asshole. I would have punched them!" Farmer reassured their really angry husband, as if it was Alex who was saving Farmer from bandits, not the other way around.

"Oh, Yoba..." Harvey would never have thought he would be kidnapped by anyone, but here he is - tied to a pole, surrounded by the six thugs. "Now we have to send a letter to that Farmer, and wait for the ransom, hehe. Easy money!" Harvey had been here for half an hour and was starting to get a little worried, but then he saw something in the distance that helped him gain confidence. "I hope, my friends, you stole my first aid kit too." "Need a sedative, doctor?" The leader didn't even have time to laugh at their own joke before they felt a chill run down their spine and turned around to see Farmer, sword in hand and an angry look in their eyes. "Not for me. For you."

Neither the gag nor the ropes helped - Abigail, irritated and angry, kicked, bit, punched and screamed as hard as she could, not giving her captors a moment's peace. Even with her sword taken away, the fighting girl put on quite a show, which made the bandits decide that the idea of ransoming Farmer wasn't such a great idea anymore. They were just thinking of letting Abby go free when Farmer came in, just as angry as their purple-haired wife. Abigail took back her sword and stood beside her spouse. The kidnappers made a note that they (if they survive) vow to themselves not to steal any more adventurers.

"So much negative energy around you... My friend, you can't live like that!" No matter how much the kidnapper tried to say that Emily wasn't their friend, but enemy's wife, the blue-haired girl insisted on helping her captor. Yes, she realises she's been kidnapped, but the lair she wasn't kept in was so dark and stuffy that of course this poor person is only thinking evil thoughts! Farmer who had made a huge hole in the wall with a furious punch had at least brought in some light. To the villain lying unconscious, Emily would leave a note with "get well soon!", diet tips and exercises for mind and body.

The criminals who had kidnapped Haley decided that if they were going to get any money for the already-not-so-easy job, they were going to spend half of it on hearing care. Because Haley was screaming so loudly that it looked like the kidnappers' eardrums had already burst. Plus the girl didn't spare her manicure and scratched the gangsters' hands, and someone's face. The leader was already tired, but Farmer literally breaking through the wall of their lair made it clear that it wasn't the worst yet. And Haley, freed from the ropes, ran to hug Farmer. Of course she wasn't afraid, for she knew her spouse would rescue her!

Penny sat as quietly as a mouse, afraid to anger the two thugs guarding her cage. She still can't understand how she was just walking from the farmhouse in Pelican Town to get groceries and a minute later she was kidnapped and ransomed from Farmer for 100,000 gold. Yoba, she's so scared, where is her spouse...? The answer to her question was not long in coming: Farmer kicked open the cell door, knocked out the guards, and took Penny in their arms as they both left the room. The girl was still scared and confused, which made Farmer want to kick the kidnappers' arse again. But their beloved wife came first, everything else - later.

To Leah's credit, before the gang of kidnappers could tie her hands, the artist managed to knock out two of them and throw a sculpture hammer at the head of the gang leader. Even being kidnapped, the girl did not lose her courage, giggling a little at the leader, who, already with a bump on their head, goes back and forth and promises that she and her spouse will pay for all the "humiliations they have suffered in the past". What those "humiliations" were Leah didn't have time to ask (and didn't really want to know) before Farmer broke into the room, knocked out the rest of the bandits and put another bump on the leader's head. All this to Leah's cheers. She wasn't scared at all.

Maru kept calm and thought of an escape plan. "Okay, no big deal. I memorised the path when they dragged me here. Now I need to break the ropes on my arms, sneak past the guards, turn left and-" Maru couldn't think of her plan any further as her spouse, furious at their wife's kidnapping, kicked the wall completely and started punching all the bandits left and right. "Oh, alright then." Considering she had only been kidnapped for less than half an hour, Maru didn't even have time to be frightened before she was already free, making her way around the kidnappers who were lying on the ground unconscious.

SVE bachelors/etter:

To be completely honest, Lance wasn't even that angry at his captors so much as he was slightly ashamed that he, the second in command of The First Slash Clan, had allowed himself to be captured by the amateurs, even if they had used magic for this. He made a note to himself to resume certain training. The pink-haired man already wanted to burn his ropes with magical fire, but his beloved spouse Farmer, agitated and angry as a swarm of wasps, kicked all the bandits' asses with sword and magic. Lance broke his ropes and joined the fight as well, though at first, the adventurer wanted not to rush his release, but to watch Farmer in battle with admiration and love.

"Again?" No need for Magnus' kidnapper to be so surprised - he is already old wizard, so he's seen a lot of things in his life and has been kidnapped before. Once even by mages from Gotoro, but that's a story for later. And while the kidnapper was able to take the wizard by surprise and strip him of his magic, it wouldn't work that way with his dear spouse. To which the villain shouted "I'll take away the Farmer's magic too!" Maybe, but Farmer would just start beating them with their bare hands. Which is exactly what happened half an hour ago. The enraged Farmer didn't leave a wet spot on the poor fella, so Magnus even cast a healing spell.

"Scared, white collar? Will you call your mommy for help? Or your spouse? Ha!" In any other situation, Victor would really be shaking with fear and not understanding whether the kidnappers would really hurt him if Farmer didn't pay for his ransom. But his spouse was Farmer, a man who just yesterday had slaughtered a hundred serpents at Skull Cavern as if it were a routine outing. "I'm afraid you're the one who's going to need help." And immediately after those words, Farmer burst into the room, angry and covered in blood (not their own). The kidnappers were pale, and Victor hurriedly closed his eyes, because he'd never seen Farmer so angry before. Which meant the bandits would get hurt. A lot.

"This is outrageous! How dare you take me against my will and steal my jewellery! Dragging me here, in this damp and filthy place where rats run around! Disgusting!" If the kidnappers were expecting cries for help, tears and pleas for mercy from Olivia, they will be quickly disappointed. She's a combative woman, and even huge bullies can't intimidate the ex-Joja accountant. She's dealt with worse, believe her. Well, the thugs think they'll at least get their money's worth, Olivia's dressed rich. Yeah, right... they'll just get a hit from an angry Farmer who turned up as soon as they found out where the bastards had taken their wife.

"They will pay... For all my creatures of darkness that they destroyed in Badlands, for all their exploits that made me unable to take over the Valley. Farmer will pay. And you're going to help me do it! When they come for you, I'll- Hey, are you even listening to me?!" Please forgive Claire, but the poor girl was so tired (work + family) that she slept through both her kidnapping and the gang leader's speech. The cashier woke up already when she felt someone carrying her in the arms. Her spouse looked at Claire with a smile, saying that she should immediately take a vacation and rest. Lying on the ground criminals, unconscious? Um, that was... part of a dream, yes. Just a strange dream.

"I advise you to let go, because when the Farmer comes here, you'll be sorry." At Scarlett's attempts to reason with her captors, the gang only mocked the girl. "We're waiting for Farmer, dumbass, it's an ambush!" Scarlett just sighed tiredly and waited - she had no choice. The bandits had already set traps everywhere, but Farmer was not only good at fighting, but also smart, and made an ambush on the ambush. Then caught the kidnappers off guard and kicked everyone's ass. "Warned ya," Scarlett even felt a little sorry for the bandits - they wouldn't be walking normally for a while.

Not knowing what was happening, trembling at the predatory grins of the strangers, Sophia cried quietly, trying not to make too much noise so as not to anger her captors. The villains haven't had time to get the ransom yet, and already they're arguing over who gets more gold. Farmer broke through the wall, shocking everyone. The tears on their pink-haired wife's cheeks were enough for Farmer to see red, and all the kidnapper-losers were knocked out. Before Sophia could even realise what had happened, she was already, freed, clinging to he's spouse's neck as Farmer carried her in bridal style. "Just like a fairy tale.... 💖"

[coolshadowtwins]

Post Canon, SQQ now has to deal with wife plots.

But, Op, that’s the plot of many fanfics already! Well, what if he had to deal with every wife plot ever. Bingge had 300-3000 wives, depending on the translation you were following.

Man’s I have to assume that while each wife got at least one (1) wife plot to her name, the fan favorites (NYY, LMY, SHL etc) got multiple over the years.

Now, most of these were probably incredibly standard. And most of them, while frightening to the multitude of civilian wives Bingge probably had, were not going to be much more than an annoyance to a cultivator like SQQ.

The problem is the frequency.

It probably would take a few years for the story to catch up to the plot. SQQ gets hit with a few scattered ones here and there for the first decade or so, but he doesn’t think much of it. Shit just a happens to him, you know?

But then, all of a sudden, he gets kidnapped during a night hunt. The villain is the man that had called for help with a demon. In PIDW, he was the evil uncle/father/cousin/male authority figure in this wife’s life, wanting revenge on Bingge and ultimately introducing a new wife. Here, he’s decided that he’ll hurt Binghe’s husband instead Binghe himself. SQQ defeats him in an hour.

He goes home and tries to forget about it. Only to be hit with some kind of sex pollen from a plant that MQF was trying to study, completely by accident. In PIDW, this had been used to get another chapter out of a particularly laced up wife, who the comments disliked because they felt her boring.

And ok, fine. SQQ still has Binghe- they fix this problem in a night.

Only to be kidnapped again the next day when he goes to town, this time by a random demon looking for a quick buck.

This goes on and on. It’s almost never anything difficult, but it’s a lot. These are too many plots to happen to one man! Sure, Bingge was involved in all those plots too, but he was almost always the one coming in and saving the day- not the one kidnapped or poisoned or stabbed. It’s not long before SQQ gets exhausted, and that everyone around him is constantly on edge, waiting for the next bad luck.

It all kinda climax’s as the bamboo house gets set on fire. In PIDW, fire is used twice like this- once, a portion of the palace gets set on fire, leading to a arc where the wives have to come together to rptect themselves until Bingge shows up. (This arc was very disliked because most of the wives didn’t act in character.) the other time was when a wife was trapped in the burning of her family home, franticly trying to get her belongings out and then being comforted from the loss by Bingge afterwards.

SQQ knows this. He knows all of this. He has figured out what every plot has been so far, and had managed to avoid a few by recognizing the signs, only for them to come back around when he least expected it. He had thought that he could always just ride out the wife plots- sure, Binghe had a lot of wives, but it couldn’t be that bad, right? Except he watched the bamboo house on fire, frozen, and realized that he couldn’t keep doing this.

The bamboo house was fine, in the end. There were disciples on duty, ready to help. Nearly nothing was lost. The fire spread out into the woods, a little, but other than a small area of destruction, it hadn’t caused all together that much damage. Except SQQ couldn’t figure out which of the two plots this was, and that was freaking him out.

This leads to him breaking down on Binghe that night, who has been out of his head with worry for ages about what was going on. SQQ tells him everything, about SY, the system, wife plots. Binghe asks if they can stop this. SQQ doesn’t know how- these plots were for Binghe’s wives, and here he only has a husband.

And Binghe certainly doesn’t want another spouse. He’s quite happy with his husband, thank you very much! But he then he gets to thinking.

Bingge couldn’t have loved every single wife, right? Binghe had a feeling he didn’t act love any of them, judging by how quickly his other self had tried to latch onto Shizun. So it’s not the act of love that causes these so called ‘wife plots’, it’s the act of marriage. And Binghe’s not so cruel as to inflict these plots on someone unexpecting (well, for Shizun he was. But he had another option.)

Binghe had to be the one to marry them- but not the one they loved. And he knew, both fortunately and unfortunately, that there were many men that would do anything for SQQ.

[harukamitsuki]

hello! The idea of yuga being forced to suggest one of his classmates to be recruited into the LOV is so tragically fun that I might honestly incorporate that into my own rewrite. I could imagine the canonically guilt yuga feels would be absolutely increase tenfold if he had to play any role in the kidnapping.

y’know yuga’s guilt (and his canonical suicidal ideation) has so much potential to explored in fics, it’s a shame he isn’t a more popular character… but at the same time he already gets mischaracterize to Hell and back, don’t really wanna imagine how bad it would get if he was popular. *insert the “the viewer fell for the character’s facade that the viewer were supposed to dismantle” image here*

but anyways, it specifically being either izuku and mezou??? brilliant and your reasons makes complete sense. yeah, mezou being the one kidnapped could easily be the catalyst to the mutant discrimination arc. and izuku getting kidnapped also has so much untapped potential, and tomura & izuku desperately needed to have more interactions before their big fight as well.

though, since it wasn’t until post-kamino that yuga stopped distancing himself from the rest of the class, it makes me wonder if he would be confident enough in his observation skills to choose either izuku or mezou. there’s a chance he might go with a more “safe” option like shoto or (dare i say) mina.

also, oh wait, here’s a way to make katsuki less relevant to plot. when izuku and shoto are having their talk between the sports featival rounds. instead of katsuki listening into their convo, have it be yuga. It makes sense, especially when paired up with the idea of yuga being forced to suggest a student to be recruited.

In canon, Yuuga is shown to be far more intelligent than fans make him out to be. He's able to figure out the relation betwen Izuku and All Might without any external guidance or direct hints, and he managed to fool the entirety of 1-A until the reveal. The dumb guy that fanon portrays him as, the guy who's only smart with love, doesn't exist in canon.

I see this as less of an issue with fanon and more of an issue with Horikoshi's writing. He completely forgot about the traitor plotpoint, leacing fans guessing for years until he finally remembered. As such, there really wasn't much build-up to it.

Everyone was guessing Denki, or Tooru, or even the audience themselves. (That last one was a really cool theory but sadly not true). There definitely were some hints here and there, but it never felt like there was a solid foundation until the traitor arc actually hit.

As for him not really interacting with the others until post-Kamino... IMO, if you've experienced something yourself, you find it easier to recognise when somebody has been or is going through something similar.

Yuuga knows what it's like to try to reign in a quirk you were not born with, and he knows how it feels when you believe you've made no progress. He knows how it feels to be discriminated upon, to feel weak, like the whole world is against him.

For those reasons, I think, even without properly interacting with them, he'd be able to recognise how strong Izuku and Mezou are, as well as how they could seem like 'easy' targets for the LOV. He can relate to both of them, (though neither were able to relate to him).

And for your idea with Yuuga eavesdropping rather than Bakugou, while I like the idea, I'd prefer nobody eavesdropping. Bakugou doesn't eavesdrop, and Yuuga would integrate in another way with the IzuCrew.

Shouto's conversation with Izuku was insanely private. He's opening his heart out to Izuku, although I'm sure he didn't realise it, sharing his memories of only pain as a child, something that should only be disclosed by the person afflicted to the one they want to know about it.

While it may suit Yuuga's traitor status, I also can't see him using this information in any way, meaning it would be ultimately useless for him to eavesdrop.

UNLESS!! Unless he decides to report Endeavour to the League, due to his sympathy for Shouto and horror at Endeavour's actions, which could lead into a different arc entirely–

Okay, I'm liking the idea a lot more now.

Thanks for the ask!!

[cyb-by-lang]

I kinda already commented and it felt weird to do it again? So I thought I’d ask here instead:

I just saw a post on tumblr that Batman did try to kill Joker and Superman stopped him??? And it was because Joker was somehow linked with Iran, and couldn’t be killed cuz it would start a war. And other Batkids also tried to kill Joker???

I’ve honestly always thought Batman didn’t kill Joker cuz he’s too popular a villain so it was just sort of waved off because of ‘Batman rules’ and publication reasons.

Is Batman almost killing Joker included in your fic? I have very little knowledge of the comics and hearing about newer versions overwriting previous stories makes me even more confused.

Congrats to you for having unlocked a secret level of rambling through deciding to send an ask rather than a comment. This would totally have ended up on AO3 below your comment. :p

And it is going below the cut because it's long as hell.

The scenario you've heard about was from the original run of A Death in the Family, which is the story arc where Jason was killed back in the 80s. In the aftermath of Bruce finding Jason dead (and Jason's birth mother dying shortly thereafter), he hunts for the Joker after realizing that the warehouse explosion didn't, in fact, kill the clown. Somehow (racism!) the Joker ends up being appointed as the Iranian ambassador to the UN. This was later retconned to the fictional country of Qurac, because even DC realized that was a step too far. In the scene after that fun little reveal, Superman is on hand to try and keep shenanigans to a minimum, the Joker predictably tries to gas the entire UN assembly chamber anyway, and then flees via helicopter. Batman, who has been trailing along this entire time in a rage, pursues.

He's planning to kill the clown. Superman, for reasons related to "we don't whack ambassadors and start wars," has been holding him back for the arc thus far. Helicopter pursuit turns into a helicopter fight, during which the Joker's henchman fires a spray of bullets that kills the pilot while everyone is on board and having a bad time. Batman exits the aircraft alive, intact, and furious, and doesn't give a single shit if the Joker died when the chopper hit the sea.

And then a month later the fucking clown comes back again like nothing happened. Only the entire setting has undergone a serious tone shift since Jason's death, which means you're gonna see a lot heavier, dramatic stories that have more significant body counts. Batman cannot get over the death of his son, because no, and eventually Tim Drake pops up in the middle of that death spiral with a hypothesis: "Batman needs a Robin."

He's not wrong.

He also doesn't go about it super gracefully, including an attempt to convince Dick to come back to the Robin mantle that goes nowhere, but eventually he convinces the Dark Knight to take on a third Robin. Unlike Dick and Jason, Tim is locked the fuck down for training and not allowed out in the field willy-nilly. And when he does go out, he is ferociously competent.

Incidentally, this is because the writers/editors realized that after the child murder storyline they'd just done, Batman had to have one hell of a reason to ever take on another kid sidekick. And they needed to try and drag the Robin role's popularity back up, since killing a kid sidekick was also a symptom of DC's tanking sales at the time; the whole thing was ultimately a publicity stunt. It was a bad idea and now we just live with it.

So Tim is, broadly, never portrayed as incompetent in any aspect aside from maybe high school socializing. I don't think he gets kidnapped even a tenth of the number of times Dick did during his decades-long career as Robin. Certainly never falls for a honey trap plot or anything like that.

But yeah, the meta reason why the Joker never dies is because he's an iconic villain who drives plots. But unless you step out of the main continuity, he's also never just been a "no-frills funny" villain since.

ANYWAY.

As far as the rest of the Batfam taking a swing at the Joker, there's one incident that I can recall off the top of my head.

Dick Grayson, currently Nightwing, wasn't especially close to Jason while he was alive. During Jason's original run, they had a cordial (if brief) relationship, but they basically didn't get any storylines together, so it's hard to really tell how strongly they bonded. After Jason died, Dick began experiencing...I wanna call them chronic night terrors. The idea is that a boy in a Robin costume is falling, and falling, and Dick can never save the kid.

I'm sure it has nothing whatsoever to do with his dead brother, no sir.

So, some time later, the Joker gets told he has terminal cancer by a psychiatrist who assumes that if the clown was convinced he was going to die, he might try reforming or something. A terminal turnaround. Lots of people do that, right?

He assumed wrong.

The Joker goes on an utter tear, doing all sorts of escalating villainy that starts with gassing everyone he can get his hands on, including other Arkham inmates. Somewhere amid this rampage, Robin III goes missing and the Joker cheerfully tells Nightwing that yeah, he killed the kid. And he has the gall to bring up Jason in the middle of all the gloating. By name. (The Joker knows Jason's name due to some nonsense involving Crane and Fear Toxin hallucinations and Batman in a prior story arc.)

And Dick

fucking

SNAPS.

Pummels the Joker right there on the floor. Barehanded. No sticks, no pausing, just beats him to death.

Two seconds later, a very alive (if hurt) Tim manages to get there and go "oh god what happened." Because Dick is not doing well! He has a crisis about killing a dude, no matter how terrible. He never thought he'd go that far.

Batman swoops in and resuscitates the clown. In the time between Jason's death and The Joker's Last Laugh, he has apparently decided that it's more important to keep Dick from suffering a breakdown than it is to kill the clown. DC editorial was gonna keep him alive either way, but whatever.

And now for the third part of my ramble.

As for Under the Red Hood, Jason's death is seriously streamlined for the film. In this version of events, none of the UN chicanery happens. Ra's al Ghul hires the clown for a distraction job while trying to crash the world economy (again) and whoops, the clown killed Batman's son. Crowbar, bomb, whatever. Before Jason's body can be buried, the League of Assassins steals it, hucks Jason into the Lazarus Pit, and now he's alive again!

Except, given how he died and how long he spent dead and how that interacts with the magic, he wakes up as a berserk ball of rage and pain, kills two of Ra's al Ghul's guards with his bare hands, escapes, falls into a river, and disappears.

...So much for making that whole thing up to Batman. The League of Assassins just quietly lets Bruce bury a latex dummy and doesn't ever bring it up.

Cut to Gotham, years later, when Red Hood is tearing up the place and Batman goes "Ra's al Ghul, what the fuck" and the whole story comes spilling out.

In A Ninja's Guide to Gotham, Jason's dropped hints in his narration that he was actually with the League of Assassins for a while, even before going 'round the world training with assassins and stuff. The Lazarus Pit just got him back to full functionality. So, you can assume it leans more on the comics' "spontaneous resurrection" scenario.

If Bruce ever tried to kill the Joker while Jason was dead, Jason doesn't know about it. And because we haven't been in Bruce's head, there's no indication either way.

(Bruce makes mention of how easy it would be kill the Joker in the film, but that he could never come back from doing so. It is not specified if he made the attempt or just thought about it a lot.)

I've been holding back on Jason's and Bruce's accounts of events because they're both owed a moment of dramatic catharsis (and shouting). You can generally rest assured that it'll be more likely to be a mix of events than a pure account of any one take on what happened in the warehouse that day.

Thanks for setting off an exposition bomb~

[kamomie]

Frequent q!Foolish defense statements and my response(long read btw):

Why are people calling q!Foolish a traitor over one lie? And why are people treating him so harshly and hating on him, in comparison to others?

I don't know why q!Foolish defenders are so adamant about that one lie, when it's clear that it's just one part of the whole issue. Arresting his friends, believing the federation over his friends, not caring all too much about what will happen to his friends, then his lie, him being purposefully deceitful when people ask him questions about what is going on. Him choosing to continue his federation work and deciding to be quiet about it. All of that adds up, all of that is the reason people consider him a traitor.

I haven’t seen anybody actually hate on q!Foolish, I’ve seen him get criticized and people(me) hoping he gets a rude awakening? Which is fair to me.

Anyway, people weren’t nicer to q!Cellbit? I know I heavily criticized q!Cellbit on twitter lmao, it first occurred to me on day 2 of him working for the federation that it could be a double game. People might be slightly harsher on q!Foolish because he’s doing this for selfish reasons, which is fine, when you don’t also harm your friends, which he did.

This is also why people are being more lenient on q!Fit, because people are waiting to see if his infiltration will help, but I, like many others, did think it was shitty of q!Fit to withhold information about q!Tazercraft from q!Forever. But mostly q!Fit is transparent about his work in the federation.

I believe people were nicer towards q!Jaiden because when she was contacted by Cucurucho, she didn’t know about q!Cellbit and q!Felps kidnapping and therefore did not know just how bad the federation is/is perceived.

Also to make it clear, no one is saying q!Foolish has done something unforgivable or unredeemable, but he deserves to face the consequences for his actions.

They didn’t take him seriously, so he felt like he had to lie! What else could he do?

I’m confused, did we watch the same thing? They very much did take him seriously, they started asking questions and when q!foolish started his empty talking, they started questioning if he was lying and asked if he did it for a cloud? No where in this situation were they not taking him seriously? Was the interrogation not a major indicator that they took it very seriously? He went into this situation already having decided to not share information and was deceitful from the beginning. Also, his lie came later when he was talking to q!Jaiden, who very much took him seriously…

Q!Foolish was always pro-federation!

Yup, but because there was trust between them, they let q!Foolish have his fun. This is also why it’s gonna be detrimental when some of them learn he was being deceitful, and he lied. Q!Foolish joining the federation would’ve been mostly fine, if he was transparent and shared information.

Q!Bad believes that q!Foolish is essentially used as a federation scapegoat and is therefore treating him much the same as before, but the trust between them has definitely taken a bit of a hit.

Poor q!Foolish, he's always been so kind and patient, even when others were killing him and bothering him. He deserves a villain arc, and to say fuck them all.

LMAO. Yes q!Foolish is a patient person, I agree, and he certainly has been very kind to others, though kind would not be the first word I'd use to describe him.

q!Foolish is an instigator. Almost all the time he's being hit or killed it's because he's actively hoping for that sort of reaction. The most prevalent example is his relationship with Dapper. q!Foolish will antagonize Dapper, and then Dapper will retaliate. It's all in good fun. It's not serious. The same with q!Bad, who is the person I know people are actually wanting to criticize when talking about this specific point. All it tells me is that you don’t understand their friendship and that you don’t understand q!Bad nor q!Foolish. Yeah, q!Bad will invite q!Foolish to a dungeon as a meat shield, but in reality, who actually tanks? Q!Bad. And that is just one example.

And if you truly believe he needs a villain arc and needs to fuck everybody over, then stop defending him and making excuses for him? It's so weak.

And a small snippet from my overview of q!Foolish in general, as it relates :)

One of the things I’ve noticed is q!Foolish is a person who rarely thinks about the possible consequences of his actions and words. This is why I hope he gets forced to face the consequences for the betrayal. I so badly want to see him handle something where the harm happened to other people and not to himself, because he can easily brush off the consequences that harmed himself, but it might surprise him that he can’t brush off the hurt he caused q!Tazercraft.

[missizzy]

A Game Novice's Baldur's Gate Log, 174 Hours In: Two big companion arc climaxes

Masterpost

(Note: this will definitely contain spoilers for all I've played through, and probably quite of a bit of the later stuff I've also seen.)

I'm playing a lot of this game this week. I've done so already, and I'm planning to play a lot more before I head up to Camden/Philadelphia on Tuesday. And I'm actually quite proud of what I accomplished so far. After winning what I've seen agreed to be the game's hardest battle, I also managed a dungeon crawl, largely without looking anything up, and another big battle, and while I'd seen some of the more emotional moments surrounding said battle, I hadn't even seen anything useful for it, so...and I was well rewarded for it last night, with not only a deeply satisfying denouement, but a pair of dice roll outcomes that felt like destiny.

Granted, my first two significantly long attempts at the battle in the Cloiser of Sombre Embrace hadn't gone all that well. I'd gotten out of it that I needed to try to make the characters harder to hit, and maybe also potion them up a little. I put both Sara and Shadowheart in new armor, and gave the latter a shield to get her AC all the way up to 22. (I've since given her Viconia's shield, too, so now it's 23!) I initially intended to switch them back after the battle, but I like how Sara looks in this, and I think I'm at the point in the game where a higher AC will serve her better than the skill bonuses she was getting from the hedge-wanderer armor.

I also gave Sara an Exilir of the Colossus, Shadowheart one of heroism, and Gale one of bloodlust, which had worked so well for in the Counting House. And while I was pleasantly surprised to discover I could still take them back to camp while in the cloister, I did still take them back upstairs to clear out the training rooms, which didn't provide much useful for the battle, but did have some excellent character moments for Shadowheart.

The battle still took me three more tries. Another thing I had to do was accept that a couple of the go-tos I really wanted to do just weren't going to work with all the darkness spells flung about-I'd already given up having Gale try to counterspell them, because then someone else would just cast it. Counterspell economy, in fact, might have been the final difference-maker, as I learned to balance not using up Gale's spell slots for little effect with also trying to keep more injured characters from being bone-chilled for a turn so they could take a damn healing potion.

Even then, I might have even only succeeded on the third because that time, Sara actually saved against the Mapped Terror effect for most of the fight. She did finally succumb late in it, and so still had that moment where she believed her worst fear of becoming a mind-flayer had come true, but by then enough of the Sharrans were dead that being paralyzed for a turn wasn't as damaging practically.

So when we'd won, and it became time to decide Viconia's fate, Sara did offer Shadowheart first dibs on deciding it. But while it definitely showed that character's growth when she chose simply to walk away from the woman who had kidnapped and brainwashed her, Sara, on the other hand, had already warned the Mother Superior during the mapping she kills those who wronged her, and those six seconds of physical and psychological violation are among the greatest wrongs anyone's ever done her. The trauma's definitely going to stay with her a long time. Honestly, that woman was lucky Sara made it quick.

I spent a long hour exploring the cloister while trying to figure out how to open the door in the back. This proved more exploration that was worth it simply for the further character moments for Shadowheart, especially as Jennifer English showed her ability to break our hearts just with the lines that pop up from walking around. But even after I ended up looking up how to offer objects to the altar in front of the door, I just could not figure out how to place them on said object in a way the game would recognized as them being offered. Finally I went back to camp and swapped Gale out for Astarion just so he could pick the damn lock.

Throughout Shadowheart's story, I've kept underestimating the horror of it. And I did right to the end. I'd heard vaguely that she had to chose whether or not to kill her parents, and wondered if they'd switched sides, but that she had to do it to free herself from Shar, that they even begged her to...far, far worse. I didn't want to make that choice. Sara wouldn't for someone else anyway. Though I was relieved when leaving Shadowheart to make it herself had her kill them. Them becoming motes perhaps helped soften it a little.

It almost felt weird when afterwards, since I'd looted Viconia's vault key off her, I took that party to the Counting House, and Shadowheart and Astarion were having amusing banter as if she hadn't just done through what she had. I'd worried I'd have to pay for another day pass, but all the doors down to the vault remained opened. We just walked in and grabbed its contents no problem. I'm not sure if they'll be any use at this point in game, but I hope Sara or possibly Wyll will eventually give that blackmail ledger to the right person.

I was also really, really grateful Sara got to give Shadowheart a hug during that night's cut scene. Sometimes you really do need to give a character a hug.

After the long rest, the inspirations I'd gotten last week now safely in hand, I took Astarion, Gale and Halsin, made sure the last had the Daylight spell prepared, and headed out to where the map indicated Cazador could be found. I'd been confused for a while about how we were supposed to get to him, but when trying to find some turn I hadn't taken yet, I instead moved the view up, and saw the door to his palace up above. After initially jumping Sara up to the ramparts, I also spotted how to get everyone up there through the watch tower.

And from there, I actually kept figuring things out, more than I had before this. Sara failed her checks while examining the sinister door, but Gale made them both, and I immediately figured there'd be a signet ring to open it around somewhere. The first time around the area, I didn't try to go through the door with the necrotic energy, but explored everywhere else, including the kennel, and though Sara tried to intimidate Godey into leaving them alone, she was very happy to kill him instead when that failed. I was happy, too, when he had the needed ring on him.

When that alone wasn't enough to get through, I knew immediately we'd have to deal with the necrotic door. I actually had Halsin cast Protection from Good and Evil on Sara and had her approach the door alone. It didn't protect her, but I just had her take the damage, and Astarion take a small amount of it too, as he lockpicked the chest and she checked the dead Victoria. Once she'd seen the letter she had on her, I quickly got her out of the Vitality Drain area, had her locate and read the needed dictionary, and then misty-stepped her safely back out.

I did quite well during the battle after we successfully got through that door into the ballroom as well, being economic with spells, as I now realized I needed to be, and using the right moves to bring the various beasts down quickly. I found the elevator to the dungeon pretty quickly after that as well. Initially during the cut scene I worried I'd left Halsin, who was by then in bear form, behind, as he wasn't shown on the descending platform, but he was with us when we manifested in the dungeon.

The first scene in the dungeons I'd seen already was the one where Astarion finds himself face to face with the victims he'd believed dead, now facing a far, far worse fate. It was one that had stayed with me even then, but was much more painful, now that I knew everything, including how significant it was that Astarion himself was horrified by what he saw. Which made it even worse when he promptly still declared he'd kill them all too, insisting to Sara, who wanted to free them, that they had to die anyway. She didn't have the heart to try to intimidate Sebastian out of cursing Astarion, and her persuasion check failed, as I didn't dare use any inspiration on it.

It was when I resumed at this point last night that I discovered I had noone and nothing on hand that could remove curses. Astarion was going to be at disadvantage during the battle. Which was the start of my starting to think I'd chosen the wrong party and made the wrong preparations for this. And, of course, this location was one we couldn't fast-travel or go back to camp from. After being so proud of how well I'd dungeon-crawled, I would soon start to wonder if I would have to do everything over.

I had a number of starts to the battle I ended up reloading out of quickly, nearly panicking over all of it. I tried to figure out different preparations I could make, but the only one I could think of was keeping Halsin in bear form, so he could kill the beasts quicker, which seemingly meant abandoning my plan to cast Daylight. At one point I wondered if I would go back to beginning, or maybe just spend some more time exploring the rest of the dungeon first, especially as I began to think if I had to sit through the cut scene of Cazador's abuse and taunting of Astarion one more time I was going to scream.

The last time I went through that door to the cut scene, I was actually telling myself I would trying wandering off if that attempt failed. Which maybe made me stick with it a little longer than I might have otherwise. I'd spent the earlier attempts fretting over my inability to destroy the runes Gale commented on as the battle began, but this time I actually listened to him also comment about the circles and standing in them. I then concentrated on first getting him misty-stepped over to Astarion to get him down. Later I also had Halsin shove Cazador out of his circle in the middle, though I'm still not entirely sure how much effect that had.

His spells were still terrible. It's a miracle nobody went down, and we were completely out of healing potions by the final turn. Hearing Cazador's taunts made me even believe he might be able to ascend even with Astarion freed. I had Gale loot the coffin in the middle of the battle in the hopes of finding a way of shutting that down, which meant I did at least get his vault key. I did make some brief attempts to kill one of the other spawn, though in the end that didn't happen. I've since confirmed this would've merely prevented Astarion from making the choice to ascend or not, and so ultimately, I'm glad I didn't manage it. (I think I may do it in any future playthroughs where I'm not ascending him, though. It's not like any version of that cut scene could live up to the one I ended up getting this time.)

Eventually, after Halsin got damaged out of his wild shape form twice, I had him cast the Daylight spell after all, and I was relieved to discover Cazador's turning himself into a red mist puff didn't mean we couldn't damage him. With most of the bigger beasts down, we focused in on him. Eventually he went down to less than ten hit points, but I'm pretty sure he never hit zero. And then, at that point, he suddenly vanished. All that was left on the battle field was one poor little bat, and when Sara axed it initiative ended. This actually ended up being the only time I looked up the answer, worried he'd teleported off to somewhere or something. But no, I read, he'd just retreated to his coffin a little early, and I just had to click on it for the next part.

The next part which I'd technically seen played through, but by a streamer playing as Astarion, which was a very different affair from this. I had also, on a different occasion, seen the immediate aftermath (though not the moment itself), of his ascending, where during the subsequent confrontation with the Gur, the streamer had actually asked her viewers who they sided with at this point, and all I could think was that was when Sara would just go to pieces, unable to cope. Ultimately, I'd seen more than enough to know I did not want him ascending.

And yet, I pretty much knew as I clicked on that coffin, that if she failed the checks, I wouldn't reload. I actually don't know if she would've given in and let him. She might have refused to help, and suffered him leaving the party. I actually don't think I'll even be using him further anyway; I've basically already mentally chosen my parties for Wyrm's Crossing redux, the House of Hope, and the Netherbrain, and there wasn't really room for him in any of them.

I had also learned while looking things up that there was an Insight check into his mindset to potentially be made as well. That made me feel better, since Sara has advantage and +7 to Insight. The 20 DC was still intimidating, but I took the guidance I'd given to Halsin when he'd leveled up some time ago partly for this exact moment, reminded myself her odds of making it were still pretty good as I rolled.

She rolled two natural 20s. I couldn't believe it. This vampire spawn was one she'd spent half the game not understanding at all, not really liking him and being at odds with him while still caring about him way too much, but now, the dice emphatically declared, she saw into him and understood him at the moment it mattered most.

And so she knew to repeat what she'd said to him earlier, that the power wouldn't free him, and hope it took. I was a little miffed when I saw the DC for that one was 15; you kind of hope a check you double-critted on would bring such a DC lower. But I had the guidance still up, I'd made damn sure she had Spaw's necklace on and took that plus two, reminded myself of the inspirations I'd worked so hard to get, and rolled with fingers crossed

Another natural 20. I sat there gaping. There was nothing to think but that this was destiny. She was meant to save Astarion from himself. And her doing so had been hard-earned. Honestly, if she'd been on better terms with him at the start, it wouldn't have been as powerful. If she'd been romancing him, it would've been the most dangerous kind of cliche. But when they had to come as far as they had? It was fucking brilliant.

Then came the moment I'd sort-of seen, where Astarion then repayed his enslaver for two hundred years of abuse and misery. Playing as Astarion means you get the violence, but not the dialog, or the breaking down afterwards. The killing was also a lot more satisfying to watch after you've made the journey with him, and I know Sara enjoyed seeing him do it maybe as much as he enjoyed doing it.

Although unfortunately, this was a scene where the lag got in the way, especially during the breaking down, which was one moment I had gone out of my way to avoid seeing before this. The sound going out of sync meant Astarion's cries of grief happened as disassociated sounds, his slumping down they were supposed to accompany instead accompanied only by the music. I actually ended up going onto YouTube and watching the whole sequence again, just to see it properly.

But I can't actually say the lag ruined it. Not when seeing him slumped down like that caused me to start sobbing a little myself. Although maybe that was also due to the hard battle and anxiety-raising cut scene I'd just slogged through.

There was the rest of it to get through after that. Sara was never going to do anything but free all the other spawn, so that was what she did. I was a little amused when his declaring it was all over and we should leave at the end of the cut scene was immediately followed by him getting an exclamation point over his head. Still a diva, it seems. But that extra bit of dialog was pretty short, and I was left to call it a night, and marvel at what I'd just done.

I knew at the beginning of the week I'd want to write another fic on my four-day weekend, which I've already started; it's going to be a Shadowzel one, though also involving an idea involving Sara and Gale I've had bouncing about my head since Halsin made his pass at her. After that, I'm going to look up the companion quests and moments of Act III, just to see if there's any more of them I should do before going to get the wyrm, kill Gortash, and head into the endgame. Although even after dealing with the Gur when I resume, it looks like I also need to make another little trip to the Counting House.

[theshadytree123]

11/30/23 - 12/29/23

So, I’m alive. Unfortunately. I know I said I was going to be taking a break for finals, but I lied. My finals were pretty easy, and I did write quite a bit. I did take a break though, after finals ended and I realized just burnt out I was from Necklace of Viernar, so I completely ignored it for like a week in favor of scrolling through monologues in Monologue Blogger. And then I got wildly distracted making a D&D character, and writing this very silly short story set after Behind the Veil where Claudia, Clarette, and two characters that haven’t been introduced yet end up kidnapping/adopting? a 12 year-old. It’s not even done yet, and I’m slightly worried it’ll take over my life considering it’s already 6,000 words long and my characters have done absolutely nothing.

But I finally finished Chapter 8 yesterday and it was… interesting, to say the least. First of all, it was much shorter than the other chapters. My chapters generally hit at around the 3,000 word mark, but this was barely 2,000 words. I’m pretty resigned to that at this point, since I can’t really figure out a way to boost the word count in a way that wouldn’t feel silly, and I love a good cliffhanger. Also, this ball is now 3 whole chapters long, and I would rather be writing anything else at this point.

Anyway, this chapter was pretty boring. Claudia has an awkward conversation with the person Vied is trying to kill, whose name is apparently Fedlimid Aquila. I don’t know why past me decided that, but I’ve had to look that name up six separate time in my notes, so I’m pretty glad Vied killed him like 2 minutes later. Then we have some very boring Sarany worldbuilding, and then FINALLY get to leave!! Finally!!!

Things finally get interesting when Phillipo drugs and then kidnaps Claudia, which was not in the plan. I had a very strict outline for this arc. I knew exactly what was going on, and I knew exactly when it was gonna happen. Phillipo was going to drug Claudia, Claudia going to kill him, and then she was going to jump out of the carriage and make it to the rendezvous right as the sedative finally took hold. Then Clarette and Karelis are going to freak out a bit, and then after a few hours Claudia was going wake up, and then business as usual.

But then I realized that Karelis hasn’t really done much yet, and I realized if Phillipo just died he wouldn’t have time to become one of Karelis “project” or as I like to call it, one the the “people she’s going to Robin Hood”, so I had to keep him in for a bit. I don’t think Claudia’s going to need much saving, considering that she’s literally going to wake up in a room full of ice sculptures. I’m more imagining Clarette and Karelis freaking out and trying to break in, while Claudia tries to break out, and then they meet in the middle and deliver Phillipo to be arrested. This also means that we’re going to meet a certain character ahead of schedule who I am very excited for. Even if she only cameos for a bit, just to make sure people know she exists. But I’ll talk more about that when it actually happens.

WC 8: 2041

WC T: 25824

[kurt-wagner-official]

Post #28: Marvel Graphic Novel issue 4

I've read a lot of New Mutants, but not nearly as much as X-Men, and this'll be my first time reading the whole series straight through, so I'm very excited. It also means that unlike with X-Men, where I've read every issue I cover many times, I'm not super familiar with the full trajectory of all the stories and character arcs in this series, especially in the early issues, so it'll be a different kind of blogging experience for me. But I love these characters and I'm excited for the chance to delve more into their lives and history. It starts with this Marvel Graphic Novel. That was a series Jim Shooter tried pushing in the eighties to expand the Marvel business model beyond just the monthly ongoings. The fourth one was the debut of the New Mutants, by Claremont with Bob McLeod on art. Jumping right in, the first new character we meet is Rahne Sinclair/Wolfsbane, a child in Moira's area of Scotland whose ability to turn into a wolf has just manifested, leading her to being hunted through the moors by a religious mob. I don't know if this was intentional or not, but that's also how Giant-Size X-Men started. She's shot and falls unconscious at the feet of Moira, who takes her in. In Brazil, another teenager, Roberto da Costa/Sunspot, is playing in a soccer match. He's biracial, and the opposing players use it as an excuse to bully him into a fight on the field, when his power, glowing with energy and getting super strength, manifests, causing a panic among the spectators. In Kentucky, Sam Guthrie/Cannonball is starting his first shift in a coal mine. His father died of black lung, so he's given up his scholarship hopes to work to feed his mother and young siblings. When there's a cave-in, he discovers his own power to fly like a cannonball, impervious to damage while smashing everything he hits. In Colorado, Dani Moonstar/Psyche already knows of her powers: she has various psychic abilities, which so far she uses mainly to forge emotional rapports with animals like her pet mountain lion Ridge-Runner. Her grandfather tells her he's sending her to live with her late father's army buddy Xavier, who can teach her about her abilities. Dani doesn't want to live with a white man, and in her anger accidentally summons a vision of her grandfather being beaten to death before sadly accepting his orders. Late that night, she realizes she pulled the image from her grandfather's own fears when she finds him dead. We learn that this was the work of Donald Pierce of the Hellfire Club, who plans to use these mutants to kill Shaw and take over, restoring the Club to human control. At the mansion, Xavier introduces the newly arrived Moira and Rahne to Xi'an Coy Mahn/Karma. She actually already appeared in a Marvel Team-Up story by Claremont, but he treats this as a fresh introduction for the character. She and her three siblings immigrated from Vietnam when their parents died, and she and her twin brother had the same power- possession. She was forced to kill him when he went evil, and now she looks after her younger siblings. Xavier is sti mourning the X-Men, but Moira convinces him the dream shouldn't die with them, and he decides to reopen the school. He takes his two new students to find Dani, who's under attack from Pierce's minions. They killed her grandfather and now her cat, but the Xavier folks save her and discover their plan. Dani agrees to go with them to get to Pierce, who she wants to kill. She goes with Moira and Xi'an to Brazil, where Roberto and his girlfriend Juliana are being held captive by Pierce's cyborg minions. Roberto tries to fight back, but he's overpowered. Dani and Xi'an come to the rescue, and they take out the cyborgs, but not before Juliana is shot shielding Roberto from their bullets. Now seeking the same vengeance as Dani, Berto joins them in their mission. Meanwhile, Sam, who's been working for Pierce unaware of his plans, helps him kidnap Xavier, though Rahne escapes and tracks them back to their base. Side note- in this early art style Rahne's half-transitioned werewolf mode is like a terrifying Cats reject. She's trying to come up with a plan when she gets a psychic call from Dani, who's able to form a telepathic rapport with her wolf form. They all team up and attack, and kinda get obliterated by Pierce's forces. This is something I really like about early New Mutants stories; they struggle a lot with what the X-Men would consider low level threats, which is different than a lot of teen heroes who are miraculously competent. When Pierce tells Sam to kill the others, he defects, giving the team enough time to free Xavier, who uses his powers to end the battle. Berto and Dani both choose mercy over revenge, and Pierce is taken into custody by Tessa, Shaw's assistant who he had imprisoned. The team, along with Sam, go back to the mansion, where Xavier begins their training.

Claremont didn't want to write any spinoffs in the first place, but X-Men was doing so well that Jim Shooter told him he could write it or someone else would. Honestly, it came at a really good time, because Claremont's plot thread count is getting out of control. He set up Project Wideawake almost two years ago and has barely touched it since. That storyline, along with Illyana and Magneto's arcs, will move over to the new book, freeing up Uncanny to focus on the core cast. More importantly, though, a brand new book means Claremont gets to build the cast and history from the ground up. Obviously I'll have more to say as the series goes on, but there's already a lot to go through with the character work in this issue. The first one we meet is Rahne, who unless you count Caliban is the first mutant in the series who wishes she weren't. She's sort of like Kurt if he believed the things people said about him; she sees her power as a gift from Satan and is filled with guilt just for existing. Her power is a reflection of that fear, since she literally turns into a beast. Berto is my favorite of this bunch, and represents a trend that'll become more and more prominent in coming years: the intersection of mutant persecution and real-world persecution. Berto isn't just hated for being a mutant, he also experiences racism for being black. He's also incredibly powerful but a glass cannon, which reflects his passion and temper but also his sensitivity. That also means that as the only South American person on the team, he's pretty much a walking stereotype, but he'll get a lot of development over the series and in the future that makes him much deeper than that. Sam, on the other hand, is completely invincible while using his power, but has trouble controlling it. He had to grow up too fast to take care of his siblings, and he'll gladly throw himself headfirst into any situation to protect them or anyone else, while never uttering a complaint about how it hurts him. His power is on a symbolic level similar to Scott's; Sam keeps everything bottled up for the sake of his family, but when he lets loose it's hard to control. But like Scott, when he learns to open up, he'll be a great leader. Dani is the closest thing to a main character that this ensemble will have for the first few years. Like Berto, she's filled with anger and grief. Her main power, giving people visions of their fears, is a way of trying to reflect her fear and pain back on the world that hurts her. She's also the only character who has no family left beyond the team. Even Rahne has a new family in Moira, but Dani already lost her parents and just lost her grandfather and her cat. Those losses weigh heavily on her, and I see her power as a way she pushes people away out of fear of more loss. Finally, we have Xi'an. Her power is the least metaphorical but provokes the most self analysis. She's been powerless her whole life, thrown around by horrible circumstances, but with her power she could control anyone. She struggles with where to draw the line, wanting to use her power for good but not wanting to become a monster like her brother did. This issue was a really solid start to the team, and I can't wait to see where they go next.

[pastafossa]

dearest pasta,

my friends and I were discussing trt bc one of them just started reading it (we’re big fans, love your work) and she was wondering about the little tapping rhythm that Matt and Jane do. she was expecting it to mean something in Morse code, but some research did not yield any obvious results (either SEI or STI, depending on if the one tap in the middle is long or short). I did a little more digging and made a chart of any letters that obviously fit the pattern through Morse code and ways that they could be put together. as someone who has read the entire story multiple times and is completely caught up, I’m not seeing any obvious significances, unless the Roman numbers VI (6) or VM (6000) mean anything, or you’re trying to tell us that someone has a sexually transmitted infection (STI) or a urinary tract infection (UTI). anyways, my question is: is there any deeper significance to the tapping rhythm that either hasn’t been revealed yet or that I missed? or is it just a random pattern?

I FUCKING LOVE THAT YOU WENT THROUGH THIS EFFORT HOLY SHIT! And I am just as happy to say it DOES have meaning (that fortunately isn't UTI related), and is also a very fitting pattern for Matt! In fairness, when I first added the pattern in my outline notes waaaaay way back, it was just a random one I came up with because I just knew I needed them to have a code they used with one another, although I hadn't decided what it meant yet. It was only after I did a little digging after using it for a few chapters that I found something amazing.

Third John, Chapter One, Verse Two (NABRE translation often used by the Catholic church based on my research):

"Beloved, I hope you are prospering in every respect and are in good health, just as your soul is prospering."

3. 1. 2.

In other words, Matt (who I'll confirm was the one who chose the pattern) was calling Jane beloved in his own way fairly early on, even if he didn't spend a ton of time letting himself think about it (he'd heard the verse from Lantom and the numbers stuck in his mind and he thought it was a fitting, 'are you ok?' verse and, he told himself, 'beloved' was just a coincidence), and she was unintentionally calling him beloved back (gives a whole new meaning to the kidnapping arc when she kept tapping out their signal), so the two of them were calling each other beloved every time they checked in with each other via their pattern.

He hasn't told her yet what it means. But one day... one day he will. Until then, he lets himself hear beloved, hear encouragement, hear her hopes and dreams for him every time he hears that pattern.

[abybweisse]

isn't ronald a bit too apprehensive in this ch? collecting souls is their job, i get it, but it seems too much even for ron. what i'm trying to say is i believe there's more to it, like ron must complete a task by collecting the soul(s), maybe its something relevant to the investigation

Investigation at Athena Sanatorium

Well, I was saying earlier in posts (as well as in comments) that Ronald might not be there simply to collect souls. We’ve seen this before: a reaper sent ahead to investigate before a large number of people are killed. Examples:

William is sent to Noah’s Arc Circus before many of the performers are killed at Baron Kelvin’s manor and Phantomhive Manor. They are not killed on circus grounds, nor are the kidnapped children killed there, though many children also die at Kelvin’s manor. We don’t know why he was sent to investigate, but it could be due to the fact many of the deaths are caused by Sebastian, a demon. And William is the one who follows to Kelvin’s manor, so that’s the important part, not the deaths at Phantomhive Manor, where Grelle ends up going. These impending deaths are investigated because most of them are caused by a demon.

Ronald is sent ahead to board Campania, in preparation for ~1500 expected to die there. It’s not because of Sebastian this time but because of Undertaker. The ship is destined to hit an iceberg anyway, but Undertaker brings all those bizarre dolls, and they kill people even before the ship hits the iceberg. Specifically, Ronald says he was sent to investigate all the reanimated corpses, because the reaper organization doesn’t understand why they are walking around. Ronald has to prove that their souls had already been collected; they really are walking corpses, not paperwork goof-ups or reapers failing to do their job. These deaths have to be investigated because extra deaths are being caused by soulless bodies and a rogue reaper.

The mystery person shown in ch137 is likely a reaper sent to investigate the impending deaths at the cult’s sacrificial ritual. We know it’s not Grelle or Ronald, because they are clueless about it. It could be William… or someone we haven’t yet met. Not all of the deaths would be under investigation; the children previously killed by the cult didn’t work to summon any demons, so there’s nothing “unusual” about their deaths (they were killed by humans). This event is investigated because the majority of the deaths that day are caused by a demon answering a summons and making a contract.

Madam Red is being investigated by Grelle… until Grelle decides to help with the murders. I’m not sure why Madam Red was actually being investigated; she’s just a human… on a killing spree. Perhaps reapers investigate serial killers, even if they are mere humans? 🤷‍♀️

So, what’s interesting enough about this situation, at Athena Sanatorium, to get the reaper organization to send someone ahead to investigate, days or even weeks before the impending deaths? Baldo works for someone who has a demon contract, but Baldo himself is human. Lau is probably just a human, too. So is Ada, and even Layla is probably a regular (though sadistic) human being. And the patients are very human.

But ch185 tells us that there will be a blood pickup the very next day, and we know (from Mey-Rin’s and Ran-Mao’s assignment) that Lord Polaris and other cloaked figures will arrive to help orchestrate that pickup, even if it’s just regular people who load up the carriages. And we know that Lord Polaris reports back to Undertaker and real Ciel after the operation at Heathfield Manor is destroyed. If Lord Polaris or another “lord of the stars” shows up the next day at the sanatorium, they could kill people when they find out the blood isn’t ready for pickup. These “lords” are advanced bizarre dolls, after all, so that would be deaths caused in unusual circumstances… and Lord Polaris is already on edge, angry at people for failing at their jobs. Considering what he says and does when he makes his previous report, he could easily “go off” and lash out against Ada or anyone else who refuses to let him take the collected blood… or when Ada tells him they stopped collecting.

But still. Why is Ronald snooping around and listening to Baldo and Ada talk? It’s possible that Ada was on the list to die right then, but Baldo listens to her, gives her an ultimatum, and she complies. So, Baldo doesn’t kill her. But that doesn’t necessarily mean she was on the list for death just yet. Could be that Baldo was never going to shoot her; I mean the reapers might have already known she wasn’t going to die right then. But “tomorrow”, when the others come to pick up the blood? If they try to kill her, Ronald will be stuck with a decision to make: should he collect her soul… or should he give her a shinigami pass?

It would be very interesting if that’s why we are privy to this particular investigation. We have yet to see a reaper choose not to collect. And he might decide that Ada living would make a large enough impact on humanity that it would be worth letting her live. That’s something I’d like to see.

[stellocchia]

So, I once made a post about c!Tommy and c!Dream’s relationship throughout season 1 (which you can find here), but today I was thinking, why not do the same for the Exile Arc?

There are some people that still don’t seem to have a comprehensive idea of what actually went down during that time (either because they joined the fandom afterwards or haven’t watched it at the time) so I’ll try to do that here. I’ll cover the first 2 streams here, and then continue in the next part because this is gonna be way too damn long otherwise...

As always I’ll be talking only about the characters and the roleplay from here on out and also I’ll be touching on some very heavy topics under the cut (such as gaslighting and abuse). Also this is gonna be another one of my Overly Long Analysis, so... you know... be warned of that.

I’ll be going through this vod by vod, so It will be so long... God why do I always do this to myself?

Let’s start with TommyInnit Is Exiled From The Dream SMP... which is the vod when Tommy actually get’s exiled.

So, the exile scene per se has been covered a 100 times over, but, right after Tubbo asking Dream to “please detain and excort Tommy out of my country” Dream yeets Tommy off the walls and then he immediately establishes the general idea of how it’ll be in exile: “I don’t think you wanna die Tommy. You need to- to listen to me”.

Also it is to be noted that in this “exile” time and time again Dream establishes arbitrary rules that were most certanly not meant in the initial sentence (which is why it’s much more of a kidnapping then an actual exile). Starting from before they even leave L’Manburg completely. In fact when they are still in the vc with the others and still just down from the obsidian walls, Tommy and Dream have this exchange:

“Do I have any time to speak words? What can...” “NO. NO. NO. NO!” “what the...” 

And then right after (just after leaving the vc):

“Do you have food?” “Yeah...” “Good, we’ll be going a long while still” “Am I not allowed- well surely- surely I’m only exiled from L’Manburg-” “Oh, no no no. You’re exiled from everywhere that’s been touched”

The sentence was only for him to be exiled from L’Manburg. Dream theoretically only had authority over the Greater Dream smp in any case, so how come immediately Tommy’s “sentence” becomes being exiled from “everywhere that has been touched”? What authority did Dream have to exile him from the Badlands? Or the Holy Grounds (considering those are widely considered neutral)?

This is from right after Ghostbur joins them:

“Well, I don’t- I don’t have to come with you” “Well, I mean, I’ll kill you” (...) "I don’t have to follow you! I don’t-” “Tommy! Then I’ll just kill you. What happens if I kill you?” “I die...”

Again, technically Tubbo only asked Dream to escort Tommy out of his country, not all the way to his place of exile. Tommy here is right, he is exiled, he is not supposed to have a jailor going with him, he is not supposed to be imprisoned. All he supposedly had to do was get off the lands he wasn’t allowed into and then he’d be good. Of course Dream’s plans were different there.

Also the trend of constantly undermining anything Tommy is feeling at any given moment sure doesn’t stop with the Exile Arc! 

“No, no! I don’t want to head anywhere! I wanna to go back! I wanna go back!” “Fine fine, we’ll head this way then. It’s fine, this is fine” “I don’t wanna go!” “Tommy come on...”

Honorable mention to Dream talking about the first time he exiled Tommy:

“Do you remember- this is actually funny! Do you remember the first time you ever joined the server? And uhm... you got exiled? By me?” “Yeah?” “It’s kinda like that, except now if you don’t listen you die”

And the conditioning begins all the way here, with Dream trying to decide Tommy’s emotions for him:

“Oh... I hate you” “*laughs* Okay Tommy, you don’t hate me” “No, no I definitely do” “Noooo, you don’t hate me”

Cue Dream just blowing up Tommy’s second Summer Home after he explained that it was supposed to be a safe haven for him and Tubbo. Also note that Dream is already getting rid of any mob attacking Tommy even if at this point he still had armour and weapons to defend himself. I talked about this before, but Dream does seem to want Tommy to be as dependent on him as he is on Tommy, which is why during exile he made him dependent on him for protection/safety and company and in prison for food. Also Ghostbur going: “I don’t think this man is very nice...”, thank you Ghostbur, I wish you could remember that, but you’re trying your best and I appreciate it...

“How long is- how long am I exiled for? When can I just go back?” “You can’t (...) if you go back you die”

Again, not Dream’s decision to make. Tubbo was the one exiling Tommy meaning that, if Tubbo actually had the decision power in that istance, Tubbo was the one who should have decided when he could come back. Also, again reiterating the point from before:

“I thought I was only banished from L’Manburg, that was the deal, not the entirety of the smp-” “Oh no. No you’re banished far enough where they don’t see you”

Also, a little look into Tommy’s mentality here:

“Tubbo said he wasn’t thinking with emotion, but with reason, but: what the fuck is the point if there isn’t any- any emotion?!”

This is honestly why he is Dream’s exact opposite and probably why he finds him fun, while Tubbo is irrelevant to him. Tommy thinks emotions should always be taken into account when making decisions and he values sentimentality over everything. Dream is the opposite, to him emotions are irrelevant and sentimentality is a weakness. Tubbo is a bit of both, which makes his clash of ideologies with Dream a lot less evident. 

Anyway, they get to the island and Dream builds Tommy a dirt shack for him to set his spawn into. And then there is the first istance of Dream taking all of Tommy’s stuff (building blocks and food included) and blowing it up. Which, again, is in no way an actual exile condition. Tommy is in jail basically. He got kidnapped and now he is in jail. Also right after that Dream gives them food and obsidian (of course acting like he is doing them a big favour, when he actually just created that need), which Tommy bromptly refuses, later burning the obsidian.

Also Dream’s parting words here are: “I’ll see you never”. Which couldn’t be less true! There is quite a bit more after that, of Tommy and Ghostbur settling in, finding a ruined portal with some armour and the village nearby and Techno visiting, but this is about c!Dream and c!Tommy and it’s already incredibly long as is, so maybe I’ll talk about everything else another time...

Onto the next one: Tommy Is Alone in Exile with Dream...

This stream starts off with Bad visiting Tommy to give him a few presents (which consist of Chirp, 2 diamonds, an enderchest, and almost dead diamond pick with silk touch, some coocked chicken some bones and a few stacks of oak wood logs). Also Tommy sees Logsteshire for the first time. Then Dream arrives and he is not happy about the present (something something, having other people giving Tommy useful stuff would make him less reliant on Dream). Also Bad seems to be slightly scared of Dream since he immediately tells Tommy that he should not say that any of the stuff he gave him was from him. Anyway, Dream destroys everything, but Tommy, with Bad’s help, manages to save Chirp. Here’s their exchange in this scene of course:

“Tommy?” “Yes! Yes?!” “Do you have uh... something you wanna put on the floor here?” “Yes *throws in 3 red concrete blocks*” “Anything else Tommy?” “No! You’re evil by the way, you’re an evil man-” “Come on... I know there is something else you wanna drop down here...” “No there-... *gives disk to Bad* I don’t reckon there is!” “Okay are you sure...?” “Yes!” “Alright... how about uh- how about your armour Tommy?” “No this is- I actually earned this myself” “I know you did! Just drop it in the hole Tommy” “No, no! You can’t just come and demand things from me! I’ve been exiled, I’ve done your shit! What- what do you mean-” “Tommy~” “What?” *Dream hits Tommy with an enchanted netherite axe* “Drop them down~” “Hooooo okay okay okay!”

So, in case anyone was wondering, physical abuse is there as well. And this is fully depicted as physical abuse. Like, normally, with this being Minecraft, it is implied that violence is generally inconsequential, here though c!Tommy reacts to it clearly in pain and shock. There is no doubt there. 

Sapnap arrives at this point as well. After that Dream makes it a point that Tommy cannot have the enderchast that Bad gave him because you can never have enough random arbitrary rules when kidnapping someone apparently! 

“Why are you here? Why are you here? What- what could you- what could you possibly want more from me? You’ve tortured me-” “I’m just! I’m just... keeping an eye on you Tommy” 

I’ve highlighted this because, considering the last time Dream was there he said he would never see Tommy again, Tommy’s confusion here is more then understandable. But of course Dream acts like it’s obvious that he would be there and that it’s necessary to make sure that Tommy is not “up to no good”. Also, another extremely important exchange: 

“You’ve exiled me you stupid manipulative green bastard!” “Yeah I know! I know! And you know why I did that” “Yes? Yes?” “No, you know why” “Why?” “Because you don’t listen to me ever. You’re the only person who doesn’t ever listen to me (...) listen, you are like a little annoying bug in my room and it pisses me off so I take you and I put you outside and that’s what I did. And now I’m just making sure that you stay outside”

So... the bullshit about this being about George’s house is out of the window by the first proper exile stream. Also Dream goes in the ever increasing list of villains who, if annoyed enough, will reveal all their evil plans to the protagonist. Like Tommy screaches enough and Dream will immediately go in evil monologuing mode...

“So what do you actually want from me then?” “Well nothing, I’m just here to talk to you. Tommy, we’re still friends ok? Just because I exiled you doesn’t mean we’re not friends-” “Just because I killed your friends and family doesn’t mean we can’t be bros...” “Well, it’s true!”

Ok so, it’s confirmed that Dream would still go on with this “friendship” facade even if he killed Tubbo or Wilbur then. Also:

*Tommy sees a creeper* then in the most monotone tone ever: “Help me” Dream sprinting from the other side of the cave: “TOMMY!”. I love this scene and I love this two dumbasses (and I mean the cc’s here). Also, to go back to the serious stuff: once again Dream is the one killing every single mob around Tommy because he blew up all his means for defence. Also Bad and Sapnap are still there as well, but Dream is always the on interveening (mostly because he is the one following Tommy around more closely). I’ll have a few of the more interesting quotes here afterwards until the next interesting scene:

“If I had 8 legs I would fuck you all up” “Oooh, no you wouldn’t” (Dream de-valuing Tommy’s anger once again)

“Stop following me” “NO” “Well okay then...” (honestly this was just funny...)

“Can I call you Wilbur? Or is it Ghostbur...?” “You can call me whatever you like” (for those saying that Ghostbur not correcting Tommy was weird)

“Alright Wilbur, what do you need an enderchest for? I might make an exception but-” “We- we need it so that we can access our stuff from the old world, the old world” “But not to go back” “How would we be able to go back with an enderchest?” “Well I don’t know maybe there is stuff in there that’s... better” “Tommy do you have anything that could get you to go back? In the enderchest?” “A boat? What’d you mean?” “Yeah to be honest we just need wood to get back, it’s not really-” 

Here we have Ghostbur poking holes in one of the new rules that Dream added that day. As a matter of fact, why would an enderchest be dangerous? Tommy mostly keeps sentimental stuff in there and a bit of iron. Still that’s the whole point: Dream is trying to get Tommy under his control so he needs to bring him to a point where he’ll listen to his orders even when they don’t make any actual sense. Also, btw, Dream doesn’t actually give them an enderchest after this exchange.

“Do you want to come with me Tommy? Do you want to come with me and visit the old library?” “No no no” “Yes! Yes please!” “No he wants to stay here with me” “I don’t. I definitely don’t” “He does! He’s just trying to be nice to you Wilbur. He’s trying to be nice to you” “I’m not Wilbur, I want to come with you” (way to gaslight an amnesiac ghost...)

“So how long is Tommy supposed to be here?” “Like a week?” “Oh, a week is not bad!” “*laughing* No he’s here forever” (Like goddamn, imagine if every minor griefing was punished with permanent exile!)

“M-maybe like- does Tommy gets like visitations? Like once every month he get’s to go to L’Manburg-” “No! No no no” “No visitation, huh?” “No visitation” (well, let’s thank Sapnap for trying...)

So, after this Tommy gets his plan to go through the Nether and find a quick way to and from L’Manburg to, perhaps, sneak in unnoticed at some points. Dream “allows” him here to go to the Nether (even though technically there is no reason why the exile would extend to there as well), so they get to work on fixing a ruined portal. “Did you know, I apparently blew up a nation and killed everyone” (thank God we have Ghostbur, he makes everything better). One thing I want to note though: at this point Tommy still kills the mobs attacking him when Dream is not stalking him and doing it for him, which is kind of nice. We are still at the first exile stream though...

“Can I go back for like an hour and see all my friends?” “No, they can come here though. I-I mean Tommy, I think- I think that someone could come here and visit you, but you can’t ever go back. Like I-I don’t have anything against people coming here and visiting you if they want to. They don’t HAVE to, but they can if they really want to” “Tommy think of it this way: whenever you’re in prison you can’t just go and visit your friends, but they can come and visit you” “They can come and visit you, yeah, that’s actually a very- that’s a perfect analogy”

I wonder why the best analogy for Tommy’s situation is not a f*cking exile analogy, but actual prison. Maybe because he is confined to one place, not allowed to keep any personal items and never allowed to go back? Also they actually get to Nether hub at this point and there is the famous scene with Tommy looking at the lava: 

A curious thing about this scene (aside from being a clear indication of the beginning of Tommy’s depressive spiral) is both that Dream didn’t seem to particularly care about Tommy dying up until now (and in the future as well) as long as he is the one to kill him. Meaning that he seemed fine with it as long as he had control over it. And yet at the end there he agrees with Tommy’s statement of “it’s never my time to die” which kinda makes me think that Dream by this point was already entirely set on his idea of Tommy needing to be alive for Dream to control the whole server. Tommy and Dream head back to Logstedshire after this scene.

*Tommy looks at the lava while standing very close to the edge* “I’ll go back through just to... check and see” *Dream hits Tommy away from the edge* “Come on” *Tommy goes back to the edge and Dream pushes him away again, this time covering the hole* “It’s not your time to die yet Tommy” “It’s never my time to die” “That’s true” 

“Home sweet home...” “Home sweet home. I think it’ll be good! People might visit you all the time, I mean, I can visit you! It’s- it’s actually fun to come here! It’s a little bit- it’s a change of scenery, you know?” “It’s not fun to be stuck here” “Well... you’re not ’stuck’ it’s your vacation home!” “Can I go back? I’m ready...” “No but you can leave this area, you can go somewhere else. This is just- like, I took you far away, you can go further if you want”

So, if anyone is wondering, this is not, in fact, Dream giving Tommy more freedom. Especially considering that when Tommy does leave Logstedshire later on Dream literally hunts him down, so no, that was never an option. What Dream is doing here is make himself sound benevolent by comparison by telling Tommy that the only other options he has are worse since they are even further away.

“I’m here for a good time, not for a long time” (more hints towards Tommy’s depressive spiral)

“Guys how do you know when it’s too much?” (and again)

“Can I go and see the tree?” “Tommy, you can’t go and see the tree” “Dream why don’t you let him just- it’s not in L’Manburg! Why don’t you let him just see the tree and then escort him back?” 

Ghostbur my beloved, pointing out holes in Dream’s rules all the time. Something tells me that’s the reason why Dream tried to kill him later on...

Anyway! This concludes this first post because it’s... Oh fuck this is REALLY long.... welp! I’ll make the others in the next few days! 

[feanorianethicsdepartment]

time travel aus, amirite? since we’ve all decided to start talking about our ideas, i thought i’d throw my hat into the ring. i’ve actually had this idea for a while, i just wasn’t sure what to do with it because i barely have the patience for one-shots, let alone the continuous plotted longfic this would need

it’s not my idea, of course, i’m incapable of original thought. it’s based off this can-i-really-call-it-a-genre-if-it’s-two-fics-with-the-same-premise where some combination of maedhros, maglor, elros, and elrond land in the blessed realm before - even the unchaining, in my take, when the ambarussa are still children and the world is blissful. it’s more specifically my take on this fic, which takes elrond and elros from very early in their captivity and maedhros from just before the silmaril theft and maglor from several centuries into the second age. i just plugged my own characterisations into it, and, uh. the specific setup this not-genre uses is that maitimo and makalaurë *~mysteriously disappear,~* throwing their extended family into chaos, blah blah blah, and then a few decades later -

well. with my characterisations, we have a nightmare hellbeast who’s burned up everything he used to be in singular pursuit of an unreachable goal and has carved his very self into a weapon, a completely drained beaten-up husk barely cognisant of reality past the screaming in his mind who’s so utterly broken it’s debatable if he even counts as an elda, and two extremely young extremely traumatised children in a completely unfamiliar land- and skyscape whose only adult they can maybe-kind-of trust is currently bleeding from the eyes and shrieking wordless notes of utter despair

yeah, this au’s Fun. elrond and elros have maybe eight words of quenya between them, most of which are obscene, maedhros will act completely normal until he suddenly stabs himself in the arm because can’t this stupid hallucination end already, he has a character arc to tank, and maglor seems completely unaware he’s not still on the beach having the same cyclic arguments with the ghosts of the people he failed. the elves of valinor aren’t completely unprepared to deal with this, at least not the ones who remember cuiviénen, but it’s still a massive shock to see two of the children they came to the land of the gods to protect twisted and scarred like the worst victims of the dark. especially since noone can figure out why

so yeah. i have trouble finishing oneshot collections, so i doubt i’ll ever write this out in full, but i do have a lot of Scenes. fëanáro staring in utter horror at the oath, whispering ‘i made this.’ elros and elrond’s somewhat hole-filled explanation of their backstory devolving into a sindarin argument, and when the family asks tyelkormo what they’re talking about he freezes before saying ‘they’re arguing about whether maitimo killed their mother.’ the moment maglor finally managed to get through what happened after they got the silmarils to maedhros, who immediately switches from off-the-cuff self-harm to well-planned suicide attempts. the five-minute period the family hellspawn’s working theory was ‘they’re maitimo and makalaurë from an alternate universe where we’re evil’ (‘is there an evil version of me??? does he eat kids???????’ - tyelko) finwë going full bulldoze taniquetil in the background. fun times, might write some snippets in the future

but i like to think through the mechanics of this kind of time travel story too much, so i started wondering where maitimo and makalaurë, yanno, went. i quickly came to the conclusion that they probably swapped places with their evil future selves, giving me three time travel aus for the price of one! technically four but (a) i’m not sure if or with who the twins would swap and (b) if they did their alternate selves are probably having a really bad time and i don’t particularly want to think about it. the stories maitimo and makalaurë are in... they’re not necessarily any happier, but they are a lot more wtftastic

maitimo falls asleep under the light of the trees, on a relaxing retreat from the demands of court life and family-induced disasters. he wakes up in a world that’s almost completely dark, surrounded by plants he’s never seen before and wearing clothing designed for a much warmer climate, the scent of death in the air. now permanently separated from all his old problems, maitimo rapidly acquires several exciting new ones, including but not limited to:

everyone he ever loved being dead or worse

the lone possible exception, his last surviving little brother, being an almost unrecognisable blood-drenched kinslayer who hates everything in the universe especially himself

said blood-drenched kinslayer almost immediately imprinting on him like a grouchy murderous duckling

his future self having apparently wanted to kill even more people, why

getting dogpiled by like thirty dudes in full armour the instant they showed up at the army of the west’s camp to surrender

getting soul-scanned by eönw two minutes later. not fun

arafinwë pulling him into an enormous hug and then bursting into tears

the subsequent explanation as to just what happened to him and his brothers, which somehow got worse after he’d already thought they’d hit rock bottom like four separate times

proceeding to lose a staring contest with findaráto

the way everyone in camp looks at him like he’s an incredibly dangerous wild animal that might bite at any time

how if half of what arafinwë said is true he can’t even blame them, fuck, fuck

the twin half-elven(?????????????) princes he and his brother apparently kidnapped and held hostage for years, inflicting unimaginable cruelties as far as anyone knows

his first meeting with the kids happening when elrond broke into where they were holding maglor to scream at him in very loud very fast very angry sindarin for like half an hour

maglor just staring at him, eyes wide, ears pinned back, the whole time, and then trying to maul the first guard who mocked him for it

getting saddled with kinslayer containment duties in the aftermath of that whole incident

elrond punching him in the collarbone when he tried to apologise, shouting ‘you weren’t there, don’t you dare try to tell me what it was like’

elros’ visible half second of pure terror after the blow hit home

elros then using recognisable techniques from maitimo’s debate team circuit during a speech to the edain

like, clearly some shit did happen, but it’s obviously not what the local leadership’s afraid of

this sour-faced scar-covered warrior slipping out of the shadows in an unpopulated part of camp, kneeling before him, intoning ‘the swords of the host remain at your disposal my lord’ and then immediately vanishing

he didn’t recognise them until after they’d left but they were definitely one of his philosophy club friends, what even

just generally having woken up in a future a thousand times worse than his darkest nightmares

his natural instinct is to try and fix things, but how?? what’s even left to fix????

maglor sometimes goes into these unhinged desperate spiralling rambles directed at the older brother who exists in his head rather than the one in front of his eyes. whatever’s left of maitimo’s biggest little brother is clearly in so much pain

all the things he’s trying extremely hard not to think about because if he slows down enough to he’s pretty sure he’ll collapse

all the people he’s never met who hate him for pretty understandable reasons and whose social structure he now has to learn to have any hope of making it out of All This

the edain’s collective insistence on calling him pasthros

curufinwë isn’t even a hundred how does he have a kid

makalaurë, on the other hand, wakes up on a beach beneath a giant glowing orb. finding himself in a land so much barer than what he knows, among people whose souls don’t even work like his, his initial working theory is he’s been abducted by aliens

[c-is-for-circinate]

The Mighty Nein have exactly three ways of dealing with enemies, and that is so fascinating to me.

Befriend.  Between Essek and Isharnai, this has been pretty front-and-center lately, but it’s not actually a recent development.  The M9 have been cozying up to potential threats and making nice as far back as Zadash, when they first discovered the Gentleman’s operations and then promptly decided to go to work for him.  It happens in Hupperdook, when they spend all day swearing bloody murder and hunting down the pickpockets who robbed them, and then promptly adopt four more children and nearly die getting their parents out of prison.  It happens in the Bright Queen’s throne room, when they walk into the innermost heart of the nation they’ve been told for fifty sessions is their enemy, and become heroes of the Dynasty.  There’s a tribe of giants who owe them their home and their gratitude and a band of no-longer-bandits who owe them their lives and their pants-wetting terror, because sometimes that is just how the M9 roll. There are so few people this party actually has a stake in killing.  Monsters, whatever, needs must, but like--who the hell are they to judge?  (The first monsters and enemies they ever made friends with, after all, were each other.)

All-out slaughter.  When the Nein do decide they really want to kill someone, they fucking go for the jugular.  True, murder is pretty standard in D&D, but the Nein often throw both caution and reason out the window when something hits their kill button.  This is almost everything about the pirate arc, starting that day in Nicodranas where they tried to talk threateningly to two guys and ended up committing domestic terrorism and then also murdering their way into ownership of a ship, ending that time they got kicked off Pirate Island in less than 24 hours because they decided to rend Avantika asunder the first instant they had the chance.  It’s their entire brief enmity with Lorenzo--they would not wait, they would not plan, they would not stop, and they would not under any circumstances, no matter what Matt wanted of planned, let him go. Hell, this is how ‘prank call Essek in the middle of a dinner party’ turned into ‘paralyze, kidnap, and interrogate’ in the first place.  This group does not do long games if they can possibly help it.

Absolute avoidance.  There are, sometimes, enemies the Nein dislike too much to befriend and aren’t strong enough to kill.  U’kotoa.  Trent Ikithon.  These opponents are relatively rare, because the Nein do absolutely everything player-ly possible to distance themselves from them at every opportunity.  Don’t want to unleash an immense immortal sea serpent?  Fuck just saying ‘no’, we’re headed to the opposite side of the continent from the ocean, and then we’re going to yeet that magic sword directly into a volcano for good measure.  You can’t threaten or blackmail me. This party is very, very good at avoidance on both a personal and collective level.  So much of the early game was built around getting the fuck away from the entire concept of war and law in general, once upon a time.  They have all of them stayed away from their own families, steering clear around Felderwin and Kamordah until they couldn’t any more, putting off visiting the Menagerie, sleeping on the boat instead of going back to Marion’s for one more night.  They run away from their own pasts and selves and inner demons.  They are not all entirely fond of mirrors.

The thing is, I’m always so fascinated by the moments when the party seems to surprise or vex Matt by derailing his plans, and while he’s generally so proud of them for it, what I’m thinking about tonight is his endless, futile attempts to give them a fucking nemesis already. I’m thinking about why it just keeps not working.  And I think it’s this!

This three-pronged approach to dealing with enemies, avoid-befriend-destroy, is basically a three-step guide to making sure you don’t have enemies any more.  In fact, I would say not-having-enemies-anymore is one of the highest priorities the M9 hold, and it has been, almost accidentally, since before the game even started.  The M9 have since the very beginning played what I can only describe as an extraordinarily defensive game.  They don’t go looking for trouble unless it’s specifically connected to some immediate threat to themselves or someone else.  The handful of mercenary contracts they’ve taken have almost universally been about, “hey, let’s do this thing for the Gentleman so he doesn’t decide to mistrust and kill us,” or, “let’s do this thing for the Gentleman so we can get the fuck out of town before they start conscripting to fight the Krynn Dynasty,” or, “hey, let’s do this thing for the Krynn Dynasty so they don’t decide to mistrust and kill us.”

And it’s not about trying to thwart Matt!  It’s about a party of characters who are all extremely defensive and avoidant in their own ways.  Some of it’s about the sheer trauma of everything to do with Molly, and some of it’s probably about the sheer trauma of everything to do with Vax and Raishan and Anna Ripley and every C1 mistake or villain that ever came back to haunt them, and some of it’s just baked into these new characters.  Everyone in this party is so fucking hurt and defensive before they even start.  The only thing that’s changed so far is the bit-by-bit careful broadening of their circle of ‘who to protect’ to include each other, and their friends, and maybe more or less half the world.

The one exception here is, of course, Obann, who has them on the ropes for almost 20 episodes--who they could not kill, and tried, and he had Yasha and they could not possibly join or befriend him, and he had Yasha and they could never forgive or ignore him, and he had Yasha and they could not kill him.  And the thing is, all I can remember right now is how painful so much of that arc was.  Everybody was so desperate.  Everybody was so miserable.  And still, and still, they could not think how to go around this problem any back way, could not recruit allies or head it off.  They could only just distract themselves with brief side quests in hopes that it might help them next time they hurled themselves head-first into trying all-out slaughter again, and again, and again.  It wasn’t like the Chroma Conclave.  They didn’t back out of the first desperate battle and decide to take the long way around on purpose, to measure and trick and evaluate and gather specific resources and plan.  They were so utterly lost.  They were so desperate.

I think that probably, Matt’s hope for Essek was indeed that he’d become the party’s long-term nemesis that Lorenzo and Avantika didn’t have the chance to be.  I think he was hoping the other night for Essek to get away and leave them all feeling suspicious and betrayed.  I think he was hoping a month or two ago that the M9 would head off away from the peace talks and never even find out about Essek until he tried to call in some of those favors for increasingly suspicious things or it all came back around to bite them in the ass.  I think he hoped for a very long time, maybe even a year ago when they met Essek in the first place, that this traitorous mole would become their Anna Ripley--the cold dark super-intelligent mirror to their own broken super-intelligent knifeblade of a friend, someone they could loathe and fear and despise and eventually, eventually destroy.

But the M9 don’t do nemeses if they have any way whatsoever to help it.  Good luck, Matt.  Pretty sure for this crew it is Trent Ikithon and U’kotoa and Tharizdun himself, and absolutely nobody else is big or bad enough for them to actually run up against for more than a single rematch, unless you get real fucking creative.

[nothing-more-than-hot-leaf-juice]

What would an Azula redemption arc look like?

First things first: I hear this thing a lot about how “Azula deserved a redemption arc” and while I don't think Azula was irredeemable, that’s not to say that she should have been redeemed nor was she in the right place to be redeemed during the series. Post-series, I think Azula could have gotten better, but I don’t think “redemption arc” is the right phrase for it. 

Second, I hear a lot about how Zuko should have been the one to go on a “life-changing field” trip for her redemption arc and I don’t think it’s that simple, nor do I think Zuko would be the right person to help her become a better person. The fact of the matter is that even though they are siblings, they spent a good part of the series trying to kill each other. Azula shot lightning at Zuko in the first episode of season 2, they both almost killed each other in The Boiling Rock and The Southern Raiders, and Azula tried to kill Katara during their Agni Kai. They are siblings and I do think they care about each other deep down, but the fact of the matter is that their relationship was hostile and damaged. Repeated murder attempts aren’t a thing either of them is going to get over quickly and they aren’t the type of thing that’s going to make it possible for Zuko of all people to be the one to help Azula heal. There’s also the fact that he’s a teenage boy dealing with his own damage from his abuse and just because they had the same abuser doesn’t mean he’s going to be the right person to help her heal. 

An Azula redemption arc would in no way be the same as a Zuko redemption arc, but let’s first examine why his redemption arc worked in the first place: 

I’ve written more about Zuko’s redemption arc and why it works here. But in terms of him making amends, the big reason why his redemption arc worked was because it stemmed from him choosing Iroh over Ozai. It was his recognition that the unconditional love and support Iroh had shown him was right and the cruelty and conditional acceptance Ozai had shown him was wrong. And further, it was his realization that he was right all along in terms of being compassionate and his father was wrong when it came to the war. He recognized that all the war was needless suffering because he had seen the real human cost in season 2. And through that journey, he saw that the people of the Earth Kingdom didn't deserve the destruction the Fire Nation was bringing on them and realized they had been wrong the whole time. And his betrayal of Iroh was the catalyst for his redemption arc because Iroh realized that already and spent season 2 trying to get Zuko to embrace compassion and peace. He spends a lot of time after he joins the gaang wondering “what would Uncle do?” and tries his hardest to do the things that will make his Uncle proud. Even though Iroh showed him unconditional love upon their reunion, Zuko still put the work in to do right by Iroh in order to make up for his betrayal.

“He’s the one who’s been a real father to me.... It was cruel and it was wrong!” 

Another thing that needs to be made clear: Zuko’s redemption arc worked because he spent time making amends with the people he hurt, but not just because he wanted to make amends, but because he genuinely related to and wanted to help them with their struggles. He was able to make amends with Aang, Sokka, and Katara by relating to their dilemmas and doing everything in his power to help them through their own emotional struggles he also struggled with. He helped Aang overcome a fear of firebending because he too struggled with finding a way to see his element beyond destruction and harm. He helped Sokka “regain his honor” by helping him at the Boiling Rock because he knew what it was like to fail at something and have a person he cared about bear the consequences of his actions (Sokka with Hakoda and Zuko with Iroh). And he helped Katara find the person who killed her mother because he understood what it was to have the Fire Nation take away his mother. Zuko understood their pain in these specific cases and leaned his hand not only to show them that he had changed, but because he had changed. It was because he genuinely understood and wanted them to overcome their problems. He wanted Aang to find his inner fire, he wanted Sokka to regain his honor, and he wanted Katara to be able to find closure because those were all things he wanted for himself. His acceptance into the gaang wasn’t ‘do X thing and then that made up for how he hurt them’ or ‘said he had changed and felt bad and that was enough’-- it was the combination of his genuine remorse, his ability to relate to them, and the actions that stemmed from that. 

“You can do it, you’re a talented kid.” 

“You need to regain your honor? Believe me I get it.” 

“I know who killed your mother and I’m going to help you find him.” 

So the main takeaway: Zuko had the capacity to be good all along but needed the right influence and before he made amends with the people he hurt. He needed to heal a little bit himself, confront the fact that he was hurt too, and change on his own before confronting the gaang. 

So for Azula to have a redemption arc, she would need to do the same. She would need to address the people she had hurt and Zuko was one of the people she hurt the most. That’s why Zuko wouldn’t be the person to guide her on the path to redemption. She’s the one that needs to do the work to make amends with him (this isn’t to say that Zuko hadn’t hurt her in fights before, but she was the instigator of most of their fighting). But before she’s able to do that she would need to do some work on herself. 

The thing that’s going to make it difficult for Azula to get ‘redeemed’ is that Zuko had a war to change sides on. There was a tangible conflict for him to help the ‘right’ side with. Post-war Azula doesn’t have that. She doesn’t have a Firelord to help Aang defeat or a war to help end. 

But another thing that’s going to make it hard for her is that her actions were objectively more harmful than Zuko’s were. Zuko spent season 1 trying to capture Aang, but there were multiple instances where he chose to put others before his search: he chose not to leave the Southern Water Tribe alone, when Iroh was captured he chose to save him from the earthbenders rather than go after Aang, and during the Storm he chose to keep his ship safe rather than go after Aang. He never intended to hurt Aang, even though his actions were harmful. The worst things Zuko did were as follows: burning Kyoshi village, capturing Aang in the North Pole, betraying Iroh in Ba Sing Se, and sending the assassin after Aang. But in all these cases, there was either someone else with worse intentions or he did tangible things to make up for them or the actual consequences weren’t that bad in the end. Kyoshi village was fine, Aang escaped his capture, he committed treason for Iroh, and he risked his life to stop Combustion Man. 

So what exactly does Azula need to redeem herself from?

1. Repeatedly trying to kill Zuko 

2. Almost killing Aang in Ba Sing Se 

3. Sending Mai and Ty Lee to prison 

4. Conquering Ba Sing Se/wrecking havoc on the Earth Kingdom in general 

5. Hitting Iroh with fire (The Chase) and sending him to prison 

But again, she doesn’t have the outlet of war to tangibly show that she’s changed sides. And for most of these actions, it’s other people that dealt with the consequences. Katara healed Aang and Zuko after Azula shot them. Zuko helped Iroh after Azula shot him and Iroh busted himself out of prison. Mai and Ty Lee were released without her help. The Order of the White Lotus freed Ba Sing Se. She doesn’t have a clear way to make amends for the damage she caused. 

So she’s not going to be able to make personal amends with the gaang. Mostly because there’s no reason for her to do so. Zuko was able to because they needed a firebending teacher for Aang and their goals were aligned. Azula doesn’t have that. That’s one of those things that’s just not going to happen because neither party has a reason to want to make amends.

I don’t think she’s going to be able to reconcile with Mai and Ty Lee after what she did to them. She was going to hurt the people they cared about and at the first instance of disloyalty, their childhood friend threw them in prison. At the Boiling Rock, Mai betrayed her because she was going to kill Zuko and Ty Lee betrayed her because she was going to hurt Mai. Neither one put Azula in danger, but she still tossed them aside when all they wanted to do was keep the people they loved safe. They move on from her after the series and find new people to surround themselves with. They were entirely justified in deciding to cut Azula out of their lives after how she treated them. 

And in terms of Zuko, again, they spent a good part of the series trying to kill each other and I’ve written about the complexity of their relationship and Azula in general here, here, here, and here. But the point is that they spent most of their lives pitted against each other by Ozai and they have some serious resentment and hostility towards each other. This isn’t their fault, but it’s undeniable and that hostility is something that’s going to make it impossible for Zuko to be the right person to help Azula heal. He shouldn’t have to if we’re being honest because of how outwardly violent she was to him. But more on that later. 

So because of these things, I think Azula’s redemption arc would have to parallel Iroh’s. 

It’s talked about a little bit, but Iroh was at one point militaristic and destructive. When he was kidnapped in season 1, the earthbenders called him a war criminal. In the flashback of Zuko Alone, we saw him laugh about “burning [Ba Sing Se] to the ground”. In between Ozai’s coronation and Zuko’s banishment, Iroh let go of his need for military victory and learned to focus on spirituality and peace. This is when he joins the White Lotus and starts to see the faults in Fire Nation propaganda, especially after he lost his son in the process. But what I think is important to remember about Iroh is that he faced the dragons long before his son died. In The Firebending Masters, Zuko says that Iroh allegedly killed the last dragon “long before [he] was born” and they deemed him worthy anyway, despite the fact that he still went on to use his bending abilities to conquer the Earth Kingdom. This means that the dragons were able to see deep inside of him and that gave him a greater appreciation for firebending not as a weapon, but as an extension of the self. So if Iroh had that chance when he was younger, before he decided to live peacefully and help others, Azula might have that chance too. 

And Azula is a prodigy at firebending, but the reason Zuko and Iroh are better than she is is that they recognize firebending as energy and life. They use it to keep them warm and they incorporate other bending techniques into it. We only see Azula use firebending as a weapon, never as a tool. She considers firebending something she has to conquer rather than something that’s a part of her. And she thinks this way because that’s what she was taught her whole life, but like Zuko, she needs to understand her element beyond its ability for destruction in order to accept that she herself has the capacity to be something more than a destructor. Azula determined her self worth and the worth of others by their strength and abilities. In order for her to move past this mentality, she would need to go to the dragons. 

And this might be the place where Iroh can step in for her. I’ve written about the dynamic of Azula and Iroh’s relationship (or lackthereof) here. But during the series, Iroh’s priority was to protect Zuko and Azula just happened to be one of the people he had to protect Zuko from (see The Avatar State, The Chase, and The Guru.) If Azula were to face the dragons, she might want to kill them in order to prove herself as worthy since that was the mentality of the Fire Nation, but if Iroh were to connect with Azula in any way it would be though firebending. It would be in guiding her to the dragons and showing her the true meaning of the element. 

Second, and again like Zuko, she would need to recognize how she was hurt by her parents. There’s that scene in The Beach where she mentions how she was hurt by how her mother treated her, but doesn’t actually talk about it. It would be beneficial for her to verbalize how her self image was warped by how Ursa viewed her. Azula seems to realize that how Ursa favored Zuko over her wasn’t right, but she doesn’t understand that the way Ozai treated her was wrong either. She relished the praise her father granted her and didn’t recognize how he used her for her abilities and didn’t value her as his daughter. So a big part of her learning to become better would be recognizing that the way Ozai treated her was wrong and that she has value beyond her ability to carry out his orders. Azula needed to have her own “it was cruel and it was wrong” moment now that Ozai’s in prison and she’s not beholden to him. And it would take her time to come to that conclusion, but she could get there eventually. Through all of this, Azula really just needs her mental health addresses over anything else. 

And for her to truly be “redeemed” (for lack of a better word) she would need to do two things: she would need to prove to Zuko that she was remorseful for how she hurt him and she would need to prove to the world that she wasn’t seeking destruction anymore. Let’s parallel to Iroh’s redemption arc again. Iroh changed in small ways by helping those around him, mainly Zuko, but his redemption from his years as a general for the Fire Nation and his actions in that regard came in his freeing of Ba Sing Se in the finale. That was his moment of redemption. Azula, being the conquerer of Ba Sing Se, would need to have a moment where she proves to the world that she’s going to work for the greater good over personal glory or her father’s orders. There would need to be an opportunity for her to use her abilities to save people, most likely from Ozai’s supporters. 

And in order for her to reconcile with Zuko, she would first need to be genuinely remorseful for how she hurt him and would need to recognize how Ozai hurt him. For most of the series she relishes in his suffering and if she’s going to truly be redeemed, she would need to first, be genuinely remorseful for how her brother was hurt and second, take steps to show him how she doesn’t want to hurt him anymore. In the finale, we see just how fractured their relationship is as she shoots him with lightning and Katara heals him. In season 3, Zuko learns to heal by letting go of the family that hurt him and finds a family that’s going to look out for him and protect him. If Azula is going to prove to Zuko that she’s changed, she would need to act as his protector. Maybe from an assassin or something along those lines, but she would need to put all her efforts into showing him how she’s changed, similar to how he risked his life in stopping Combustion Man to prove to the gaang how he changed. 

And it’s very possible that they’ll never have a good relationship, but if what we’re looking for is an ‘Azula redemption arc,’ that’s what needs to happen. And Zuko isn’t required to forgive her or have her in his life. The fact of the matter is that Azula hurt him and the people he cared about repeatedly. And just because they were hurt by the same person doesn’t mean she didn’t hurt him too. They very well may never have a ‘good’ relationship, but that doesn’t mean Azula wouldn’t be able to get better on her own. 

I think if anything, Azula might be able to immerse herself in firebending. That’s something she understands and that she’s good at. But in order for her to find peace within herself, to move past the mentality Ozai and Ursa instilled in her, and to become a better person, she would need to follow a spiritual path. She would need to go the route of Iroh. Azula doesn’t need to be any kind of military leader or fighter. What she needed was to recognize herself as something other than a weapon, because as long as she valued herself for her combat and military abilities, she was going to seek destruction. In order for her to heal, she needs to recognize that her ability as a prodigy doesn’t mean she was meant for power or destruction, but rather it’s a gift. Azula is an incredible bender, but she didn’t appreciate herself or the true meaning of the element. And if she’s going to move beyond ruthlessness and callousness, she needs to learn the beauty in her element. 

In conclusion, an Azula “redemption arc” is easier said than done. Azula’s motivations are sympathetic and it’s obvious that she’s a victim of abuse and manipulation, but she did hurt people in major ways. She hurt people in ways she wasn’t able to make up for and that’s why if she were to become better, she would need to learn to let go of this image of herself as a force for destruction and recognize the beauty of firebending. She might never fully reconcile with Zuko and it’s improbable that she would develop meaningful relationships with Mai and Ty Lee, but the fact of the matter was that Azula was 14 and her actions stemmed from her abuse. Her path to becoming a better person wouldn’t focus on the people she hurt, because they had moved on and cut her from their lives, but rather it would focus on her individual path to growing past the propaganda of her nation and the emotional abuse under her parents. 

Azula’s “redemption arc” would not be rooted in interpersonal relationships, but rather would entirely focus on interpersonal growth. 

[yes-i-write-fanfiction]

Would you consider writing a little something for Megatron | Bee | Monarch for G1?? Maybe Monarch following Bee around on the Arc? Or Megatron babysitting (read: kidnapping) Bee? Optimus dealing with a hovering parent harassing his crew? The Decepticons/Autobots reactions to a Literal Child being an active soldier (that some of them have shot)? Please? For my birthday?... okay my birthday's in May but still it'd be fun.

Bumblebee now remembered just why he had left home to join the Autobots without telling his Creator; that was because Monarch was a tad overbearing sometimes. And ever since they had found him on Earth, oh boy, they hadn’t let him out of their sight once, as if they were afraid he was going to run off again. Yes, Bumblebee had considered doing that at first but he had quickly disregard that idea, thinking it was too extreme. Now he was seriously starting to consider it again.

So far, Monarch had scolded aka yelled at seven of his comrades. First Optimus for allowing him to join the autobots, then at Ratchet for not realizing that Bee was a damn child, they yelled at Wheeljack because his experiments were too dangerous, at Sideswipe because he chose the wrong moment to prank Bee. When Hound had asked him to do some combat training with him Monarch had actually lifted the poor mech of the ground and shook him like a ragdoll for even daring to suggest such a thing and when Jazz had tried to calm them down they had picked him up as well. Their latest victim was Grimlock for being too rough when handling Bumblebee and the dinobot still hadn’t come out of his room after it happened.

Because of Monarch’s rampage, most bots were now avoiding Bee like the plague, not wanting to face their wrath as well. The Creator had instilled the fear of Primus is all of them. Monarch wasn’t stupid and noticed this but didn’t do anything about it because they were still too mad about Bumblebee joining the damn army, something they were still scolding him for.

Bumblebee was staring intently at his cube of energon and wondered if he hit himself in the head with it hard enough if he could pass out and get some rest from this living hell. Luckily, it was at that moment that Optimus decided to approach both Bee and his Creator. Monarch was staring daggers Optimus as he approached and the Prime awkwardly reset his vocalizer.

“Monarch, it has come to my attention that you’ve been harassing my crew. Now, while I am more than happy to let you stay here I have to ask you to cease this hostility.”

“I will stop being hostile when these bots prove that they care about my Bumblebee’s wellbeing” Monarch replied, or rather snarled. “So far I haven’t seen any proof of that.” Optimus awkwardly shuffled in place at this accusation.

Bumblebee, feeling bad for his Prime, decided to try and help him out. “Creator, they do care about me. They have helped me out and even saved me multiple times already. Just last week Mirage managed to stop me from getting shot.” Monarch whipped their head around and both Bee and Optimus had the sudden realization that this was probably the wrong thing to say.

“Someone tried to shoot you!?” they exclaimed, their wrath rolling of them in waves. “WHO?”

Having a bad feeling about what was about to happen, Bee once again tried to deescalate the situation. “Creator, it’s no big deal. It’s war, the cons try to shoot me all the time.” Hearing this, Monarch’s face twisted into an expression of pure rage. Now Bumblebee was absolutely sure that he had said the wrong thing.

“The decepticons have tried to shoot you, nay, kill you multiple times? Unforgivable. I WILL RIP THEM LIMB FROM LIMB!” Monarch turned around and started marching towards the exit. Bumblebee and Optimus hurried after them.

“Creator, please! Calm down!”

“Monarch, the decepticons don’t know that you are on the planet yet, this is a very foolish thing to-”

Monarch stopped, turned around and grabbed Optimus by the shoulders hard enough for the metal to creak and give under their hands. Prime stared at them with nothing but fear in his optics. “I have yet to forgive you for allowing my child to join your stupid army. Try to stop me and I will tear your spark out. Understood?” Optimus could do nothing but nod dumbly as Monarch let him go before they turned around once more and stalked towards the exit. He was left behind, still frozen in fear, all while Bumblebee still tried his best to stop his Creator from taking revenge.

Optimus had never quite realized just how similar Monarch was to Megatron before that moment.