#and by ‘my bullshit’ i mean loving them

[threeacttragedy]

Entry 6 – The One Where I Explained the Claddagh Ring to My Dad

I will preface this entry with an acknowledgement to my father. He is the most intelligent, quick-witted, and level-headed person I know. He’s also a bit of a bitch and tends to be blatantly honest. Sometimes that honesty hurts but it’s also nice to know he’s the one person in this world who won’t feed me a line of bullshit. He is also the best friend we all need.

On October 16, my father called me – like he does almost every day – to chat about, like usual, absolutely nothing. But, on this day, I was quite distracted (because the Time article about Nicola had just come out), which he called me out on almost immediately. Our conversation went something along the lines of:

Dad: “I can tell you’re not paying attention to me.”

Me: “Oh, I’m just reading an article that came out today. Actually, can I ask you a question about it?”

Dad: “Sure.”

Me: “I just want to read something to you, and I want you to tell me what you think this person is saying.”

Dad: “Okay.”

I then proceeded to read him verbatim the snippet from the Times article where Nicola talks about her relationship with Luke.

Me: “What do you think she is saying?”

Dad: “That this person is her best friend, and she thinks very highly of them.”

Me: “Oh, okay.”

Dad: “Why?”

Well, he opened the door so I gave him the backstory. I explained who Nicola and Luke were. I explained Bridgerton. I explained their chemistry during the World Tour. During this 15-or-so-minute conversation, my father took to renaming Nicola “Ireland” and Luke “Thang,” because that’s how he remembers things. Then I brought up the Claddagh ring.

Dad: “Wait. Stop – STOP! – STOP!! I said STOP TALKING! Why didn’t you lead off with this ring? I change my answer. She’s saying she’s in love with this guy!”

Me: “What?”

Dad: “Whatever you read earlier – I change my answer. She’s not saying they’re best friends. She’s saying she’s in love with him.”

Me: “Are you being legit?”

Dad: “Absolutely! Now, go back to the beginning because Ireland and Thang are a thing.”

Welcome aboard the USS Lukola, Daddy.

Recently, this conversation with my father got me thinking about how naïve I have been in believing all Lukolas were aware of the significance of Nicola’s Claddagh. I mean, surely, most of us know the term and meaning of “ring truther,” right?

Maybe not.

I’ve always chucked the Jakolas and A-holes up to be Conscientiously Stupid about the ring – disregarding it because it didn’t fit their narrative. But, shit, maybe they just don’t understand the Holy Grail of the Lukola fandom. So, I figured today, I’d dedicate my entry to explaining the ring to those who have no fucking clue what we mean when we say, “we’ll die on that ring!”

If you don’t want a history lesson or my opinion on the significance of the ring, you can move along and wait for my next post. Otherwise, happy reading. Actually, it’s a rather dull read – but informative. You may just need some caffeine to keep your focus up.

GENERAL HISTORY:

The Claddagh originates from Galway – yes, Nicola’s hometown in Ireland – and has been around for over 400 years. The ring typically shows two hands holding a heart which wears a crown, with the hands symbolizing friendship, the heart signifying love, and the crown representing loyalty.

The way a person wears their Claddagh traditionally signifies their relationship status.

On the RIGHT hand, with the HEART FACING OUTWARD away from your body (and towards your fingertips) means you are single, i.e, your heart is available for love.

On the RIGHT hand, with the HEART FACING INWARD towards your body (and towards the back of your hand), suggests you are in a committed relationship, i.e., your heart is taken.

On the LEFT hand, with the HEART FACING OUTWARD away from your body (and towards your fingertips) means you are engaged.

On the LEFT hand, with the HEART FACING INWARD towards your body (and towards the back of your hand), suggests you are married.

This is not gospel so please do not finish reading this post and start running around in circles, jumping up and down, exclaiming Nicola is married.

NICOLA’S CLADDAGH:

In June, Chupi announced it had designed and created a Claddagh for Nicola and noted “Nicola reached out to Chupi recently and requested a bespoke Claddagh Ring to celebrate the third season of Bridgerton.” Nicola’s ring was custom-made and differs from virtually all other Claddagh rings in that the hands of the ring also display rings of their own.

After creating the ring for Nicola, Chupi continued to sell it through its website, noting that the heart-shaped diamond in the ring was “[h]eld in a pair of hands that honor friendship and strength, with the left hand wearing a North Star signet ring.” In its original description, and for four months following this initial announcement, Chupi never explained the meaning of the ring on the right hand holding the diamond. We will speculate on that in a moment. Further, Chupi explained that the three diamonds in the crown “represent the traditional emblem of loyalty and also symbolize the past, present & future, along with a nod to the fact this is the 3rd season of Bridgerton.” There’s that Bridgerton reference again.

Now, let’s break down the hands holding the heart-shaped diamond, starting with the left hand.

The left hand is wearing a signet ring. This one is easy to explain because Chupi described the ring the left hand is wearing for us. It is the North Star signet ring, which Chupi sells through its website as its “North Star Diamond Original Signet Ring.” Chupi explained that the ring represented “True North.” What is “true north?” Besides its literal meaning, the phrase “true north” represents your “internal compass or your personal calling” and “your authentic self.”

The right hand is wearing a ring on its middle finger. This ring has always been a bit of a conundrum. As mentioned above, Chupi never explained this ring in its original description. In fact, it remained silent on its significance until November 1. And, even after it “explained away” the middle finger ring in an Instagram story (which disappeared after 24 hours), Chupi never updated its website to confirm its meaning. Why? Well, you’ll find that most “ring truthers” believe it’s because this middle finger ring represents Luke. Luke often wears a ring on his middle right finger. In fact, in his People spread for Sexiest Man Alive released November 14, he’s seen wearing a ring on his right-hand middle finger. You can also find him wearing a ring on his right-hand middle finger throughout the Bridgerton Season 3 World Tour.

But, let’s pretend for a moment that the rings on the two hands holding the diamond heart have no significance whatsoever. That does not negate the fact the ring was made as a nod to Bridgerton Season 3. Yes, the season that both Nicola and Luke repeatedly described during interviews throughout the World Tour as their “shared experience.”

To round out this little “history lesson,” and just so I am completely up front, on November 1, 2024, Chupi reshared to its IG stories a story shared by Ashley McDonnell explaining that the right-hand middle finger ring on the Chupi-branded Claddagh represented “power” (basically, women’s empowerment). As of that date, Chupi had also removed all mentions of Bridgerton from its Claddagh ring descriptions and left only a reference to the rings being “inspired by” Nicola. However, the Claddagh could still be found under Chupi’s “Engagement” ring section and the articles titled, “Designing a Chupi Claddagh Ring for Nicola Coughlan” and “What Way to Wear a Claddagh Ring” still, to this day, reside under its “News” section. These articles still reference the ring’s ties to the third season of Bridgerton.

A BUNCH OF POINTS I’M TRYING TO MAKE:

Point 1: Nicola had the ring commissioned herself, per Chupi. We can surmise she understands the meaning of the ring based on her Irish (and Galway) heritage; thus, we can also deduce she knows the meaning behind how it is worn.

Point 2: The ring is important to Nicola. I’m not even going to use disclaiming phrases like “may be” or “seems to be;” I’m just flat out stating the “ring IS important” to her. She has been seen wearing it a lot in her personal time. In fact, on September 20, she was photographed wearing the Claddagh during the Gucci afterparty, which means she took off the “workday” jewelry she had been wearing earlier in the day to put the Claddagh back on her finger. She has not been shy about flashing it in public. From her Chupi articles to her Tatcha stories to wearing it in public (at concerts, walking about).

Point 3: Based on comments made by Chupi on June 25 in its article titled, “Designing a Chupi Claddagh Ring for Nicola Coughlan,” it took four weeks “from a sketch to sparkling reality” to make the ring. This means, at the latest, it had to have been commissioned by May 9, 2024. However, some Lukola sleuths have stated the metadata they pulled from the sketches uploaded by Chupi indicate it was as early as April 26 (don’t even side eye me; I didn’t pull that shit). Based on this information, the ring was likely commissioned during and/or between the World Tour stops in Australia and Italy.

Point 4: Nicola wore the ring publicly as early as June 6 during the Dublin premiere. At that time, she wore it on her right-hand middle finger with the heart facing inwards. The way she wore the ring was also evidenced the following day in Galway by way of pictures in Chupi’s article titled, “What Way to Wear a Claddagh Ring.”

Point 5: Nicola flashed that glittering baby in her June 15 Tatcha IG post (I’m convinced that post holds so many secrets) and continued to wear it throughout the summer months (on her right-hand middle finger) as evidenced by pictures of her at the Taylor Swift Eras tour and in her August 1 Tatcha IG post. And, let’s round out the summer with her displaying the ring in her September 17 Tatcha IG stories, on September 20 during the Gucci afterparty, and in Alex Babsky’s September 25 IG post about Nicola being “in London today.”

Point 6: On October 1, Nicola had seemingly switched her diamond Claddagh from her right hand to her left-hand middle finger as exhibited in her Choose Love IG story. This switch was further indicated (but not confirmed because she conveniently put her caption over it) in her October 5 airplane IG story (deduced from the small gold band switching to her right hand) and in pap pictures of her published on October 8. On October 11, when she posted her Olaplex IG story, it appeared the ring was on her left-hand ring finger. We can also barely see the ring in the October 21 “Polin” picture; however, it cannot be determined if it is on her left-hand middle or ring finger. We haven’t seen her “out in the wild” since so the current status of her ring is not known, but we can probably safely assume she’s still wearing it, with the heart facing in.

Point 7: I believe everyone needs to make their own decision as to whether the right hand of the Claddagh – the one wearing the middle finger ring – represents Luke. Personally, I believe it does, but it is perfectly fine if you disagree. It could very well be a "power move." I’ve always believed the left hand of the Claddagh – the one wearing the North Star signet ring – represented “true north,” or Nicola’s internal compass to choose her own path. But, please do not let my opinion cloud your own.

Point 8: Regardless of your opinion about the hands holding the Claddagh’s heart-shaped diamond, the ring was acknowledged to represent Bridgerton Season 3 and that has Luke all over it.

Point 9: From Day 1, Nicola has worn the Claddagh with the heart facing inwards, meaning her heart is taken. To the best of my knowledge, this has never changed.

MY THOUGHTS:

First and foremost, Nicola has told the world her heart is taken.

Based on the above, why would Nicola wear that ring for anyone but Luke?

My father’s response: “She wouldn’t.”

Why? Because it would be fucking weird if she did.

Let’s play pretend for a moment.

You’re dating Nicola (and, NO, you can’t be Luke in this scenario). You’ve watched Nicola’s Bridgerton press tour for the past, say, six months. You’ve watched her flirt with Luke. You’re fully aware Lukolas ship her with Luke. In fact, you’re aware several of her castmates and crew ship her with Luke. You’re aware that, by the end of the World Tour, interviewers were getting bold enough to ask Nicola and Luke about their “friendship” because they, too, were intrigued by their chemistry. You’re also aware that, “People want [her] to marry Luke.” And, you’re fully aware that Nicola had that Claddagh ring made to, at a minimum, remind her of Bridgerton Season 3, the season she shared with Luke.

Would you be okay with her wearing THAT ring to signify the state of YOUR relationship with her?

If you are, get the fuck off my page.

Now, riddle me this, Batman –

Why was this ring made during the World Tour? And, more importantly, why was it worn during the World Tour?

Why did Luke and Nicola take a special trip to Galway? And (purely speculation here), why did the meeting with Nicola’s mum seem so emotional?

Why did the ring switch hands?

Why, Batman, why?

[nerianasims]

It massively excludes most women too. All the vile, horrible bullshit I'm seeing about men -- and the people saying it make very clear they mean all men -- they're saying this about the men women love.

I'm disabled, and my husband does absolutely everything for me. He works outside the home for a salary. He does the housework. Usually I do the cooking, because I like to cook and he does not, but this past month I've been in a severe ME/CFS crash and unable to do anything. He's cooked whatever I've asked for and brought it to me while I was in bed. My maternal grandmother also wanted to be in feminist spaces, but she was driven out of them because they would not stop hating on her husband and telling her she was brainwashed. As for my paternal grandmother? Well, she was abused by her husband, whom she had the guts to kick out of their home in the early 1960s. Luckily, he did one good thing and stayed away. So she was a single mom of two boys working as a janitor in a high school in the 60s, and where were the feminists? Scoffing at her for her lack of education. Having meetings in times and places that made it impossible for her to attend. Saying all men were inevitably evil -- which meant her sons were inevitably evil? Obviously none of this was for her. She got material support from her community (which, importantly, was multiracial and multiethnic), and less than nothing from feminists.

In the 90s, I thought we were past this shit. But now it's come back with a vengeance. And telling people who pull this crap that they are not helping, they are only hurting, never seems to do any good. What I hope now is that we can form a different coalition and drown them out. Radfems already coalition with anti-abortion right wingers, so it's clear they don't really care about women anyway.

It is not “coddling” to refrain from telling people “I hate you for the way you were born.”

When I say it hurts the feminist cause to consider men our enemy rather than just patriarchy itself, accusations of “coddling” are the most common response I get. I am not asking anyone to put men’s feelings over calling them out for misogyny they enact and perpetuate. I am talking about expressing sentiments in public or to men directly that you despise them for existing at all.

It’s one thing to be traumatized by sexism and vent your feelings about men amongst friends. But normalizing this as a part of mainstream feminism, making it so men have to see these sentiments when they engage with feminist content, drives them away from our movement. You can say men driven away by being openly hated never were going to be feminists in the first place, but I staunchly disagree. It says nothing about one’s views on oppression to not want to be around people who say they consider you an irredeemable monster no matter how hard you try to support them.

This is not about men’s feelings. I do feel that people should care about those too, including because as a transmasc I am extremely aware that seeing these sentiments harms trans men, such as preventing them from being out and transitioning for fear of being hated by those around them. But this is about what is effective in breaking down the structure of sexism. Excluding half the population from being our allies matters. Cis men should be able to use their privilege to shoulder some of the work of fighting sexism. How will they learn how to do so if we ostracize them?

Note: This is not saying that men who see women hating them and respond by becoming MRAs and whatnot are totally fine or women’s fault. It’s just that it is difficult for men to be vocal feminists when people base their feminism off of hating men.

[lilia-calderus-pet-goat]

In case you forgot just how impressive the acting is in episode seven of agatha all along, let me take you back again.

Lilia is five hundred years old. Four hundred and fifty? Maybe. When we first meet her, she may be kooky, and she may be strange, and forgetful, but she doesn't immediately seem vulnerable, or lost. She's a grown woman, damn it—and a fraud, a liar. She's toughened with the passage of time in her unique isolation.

And in the next episodes, we see her sweeten here and there—and we see more vulnerable moments—but she still stands on her own two legs. In her dynamic with Rio, for example, or whoever else, she exhibits the 'no bullshit' attitude of her maestra. She's softer, of course, more empathetic, less cynical—like in Alice's trial, where she's posed much like s comforting grandma. But even then, she is a grandma. She is the one who does the comforting, or the one who disapprovingly shakes her head at you and judges your life choices.

But when she talks to her Maestra?

Lilia is a little girl. She's childish.

In no other scenario does Lilia speak with herself center-stage. She always thinks of others first, even in her own trial.

But when she talks to her maestra, she acts like a wounded child, a wounded fawn, who can only focus on her own pain. Who has not yet developed mechanisms for processing her emotions—and who just wants—needs—her mother. And she speaks, and she says things she shouldn't say, floods her maestra with her own grief, overwhelms her with information that Lilia has known as fact for hundreds of years, but for her maestra—it's her first time hearing it. Because the little Lilia on the chair is having her first divination lesson. She hasn't predicted the fever yet. But Lilia can't think of that right now—she's overwhelmed, she's hurting, she's visiting her maternal figure after centuries—and so she's snappy and impatient and vulnerable like a child.

And her maestra knows she can't help it. And she knows that right now, she's needed by her child who is hurting. Who has been hurting—so much fear, even now. She must swallow the shocking piece of information that she and her covenmates, her sisters, her students, her children, will be wiped out by a terrible fever—treat it like a given fact, because she's not the focus right now. Because she needs to be a guiding light for Lilia, even centuries later, because she needs her. Centuries later, she needs her. And she's a tough woman, a no-bullshit woman. She's a thick-skinned, old, Sicilian witch, much reminiscent of my own greek grandparents—those who have lived through so much and so nothing affects them, really. Because 'back in their day' they had 'more serious issues,' like war and famine and plague. This woman lived through the dark ages. And she delivers. She's nonchalant. 'Death comes for us all' - It means, this isn't about me. I have to brush it off.

But I still have to wonder where within her she proceeded to bury that piece of information about her own coven's untimely demise. Not only to focus on future Lilia, but also, later, to keep little Lilia calm and focused. To—knowing all the suffering she'll be going through and the state in which she'll visit centuries later—keep her innocent for just a little time longer. Give her time. Until eventually, she predicts the fever herself.

And how beautiful is it that, after all this time, she sought help in her maestra—?

How beautiful is it that—for the second time—Agatha Harkness is saved by a woman whose empathy was bred by a mother's unconditional love? A woman who sacrificed herself just when she found herself, for no other reason than the fact her mother never stopped putting her first, so now, it was her turn to do the the same for her family—?

[hearts4werka]

NNN day 15 | Unspoken Words

“A pathetic what? Loser? Nerd? All bullshit labels you and your friends love throwing around?”

summary: it’s pouring rain outside and you’re in a heated argument with the so-called ‘loser skater boy’ of the school, Chris about your popular friend group constantly picking on him but you don’t know what you could possibly do about it, in the heat of the moment you accidentally confess your love for him that you’ve been bottling inside of you for ages now, how will Chris react to the sudden confession?

warnings: ANGST, heavy language, pouring rain, arguing, angry love confession, kissing, mentions of bullying & possibly more!

authors note: bro this is coming out so late I’m so sorry I seriously am having trouble keeping up with posting fics everyday I might just change the schedule for every two days so I have time to write the fic so from now on I’ll post NNN fics every two days and I’ll try to make them better too, luv y’all sm and hope y’all enjoy this one

The rain was relentless, pouring down in heavy falls as I stood at the edge of the high school parking lot, glaring at him. Chris, the loser skater dude sat leaned against the slick metal of his beat-up board as water streamed down from his dark hair. It was a pathetic sight, really, the way he was looking at me through the downpour like he truly believed I’d stand there and listen to him whine while my friends were making his life miserable just a few feet away. “Chris, it’s not my fault they’re dicks! Just stand up for yourself!” I yelled, the wind whipping my words back into my face. I could see him flinch at the sharpness in my tone, but honestly? He was pissing me the fuck off right now.

“Easy for you to say,” he spat back, his voice rising above the rain. “You think I want to get into it with them? They’ve made my life hell since middle school. And here you are, acting like you’re above it all.” “Whatever, Chris! You could actually do something about it, but instead, you stand there like a pathetic—” before I could finish my sentence, he cut right into the middle of it. “A pathetic what? Loser? Nerd? All bullshit labels you and your friends love throwing around?” My heart raced as the fight quickly escalated, frustration spilling out of me like the rain pouring down but hee wasn’t wrong, I could feel my friends laughing as they made comments, snickering at his expense as they walked past us.

I was too stubborn to admit that it bothered me, to admit that I felt trapped between two worlds — my friends who I felt loyal to, and Chris, whose passion for skating and the freedom he radiated off him drew me in. “Why don’t you just tell them to stop?” I snapped, fists clenched at my sides. “Oh, right!” he emphasized each word through gritted teeth, “Because you know they’d listen to me. ‘Oh, look at the loser! What a joke!’” He was pacing now, waves of frustration beaming from him as he glared at me. I could tell he was hurt and that made it worse for me. This wasn’t the first time we’d had this conversation, it seemed every time we met, our discussions turned into a bickering fight.

“Why can’t you just grow a backbone for once?” I found myself shouting, the words leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. Chris was the one person I didn’t want to keep fighting with. There was something inside me that pricked me at the thought of him being hurt—something that made me want to shield him from the world, even if I was part of the problem. “I get it, you’re popular, you have to keep up your perfect appearance.” His voice was cold and I hated that I could see right through it. “But that doesn’t mean you need to stand by while they bully someone who hasn’t done anything to you.”

The weight of his words hung between us, and for a moment, we both bathed in the silence, thunder rumbling in the background and threatening to strike. My breaths came ragged, and I could feel the frustration boiling over, a fierce mix of feelings I’d contained far too long. “Do you even care about them?” I shot back, suddenly feeling more bold, “I mean, seriously, do you care that I’m their friend? Or is it just about you being the victim here?” “Maybe if you gave them less attention, they’d stop. Ever think about that?” he shot back with a knife that cut deeper than any of my friends’ insults.

I took a step closer as rain soaked through my clothes, breath hitching as the heat between us crackled. “You think I’m just some heartless bitch, don’t you? You think I enjoy having these petty losers as friends? You know nothing about me,” I spat. He stepped forward, our faces inches apart as the storm raged around us. “So what’s stopping you from saying something? You’re the one with the power in this situation, right?” And just like that, the last strings broke inside me. I wanted to scream, I wanted to shake him and make him understand. “You don’t get it at all, Chris! Maybe I don’t always know what the fuck to do! Maybe—” My voice trembled and before I could think about the honesty I’m about to spill, I continued, “Maybe I just didn’t know how to tell you I liked you!”

His eyes widened, surprise sparkling in them and my heart tripped over itself at my confession. My cheeks burned and beneath the rain, I could feel the silence swallow us whole. The storm around us was like background noise as everything I pooled inside of me far too long, unraveling and honest. My breath caught as he closed the distance, moving so smoothly it caught me off guard. “What are you do—” Before I could finish, he tilted my chin up and pressed his lips to mine. The kiss was sudden as if he was attempting to drown out all the noise in my head, all the rambling I would never stop. It felt electric, warmth pulsing through my veins that made the rain fade into nothing.

When he finally pulled away, my pulse immediately started to race. I blinked up at him, confusion swirling inside of me. “Wait… Did you just really kiss me to shut me up?” He smirked, a shimmer of playfulness in his blue eyes. “Maybe,” he replied and I couldn’t help but laugh, the tension slowly dissolving into something lighter, something filled with hope. “So, popular girl, what now?” I hesitated but with a new fire building inside of me I grinned and said, “We show those little bastard who not to mess with.” And as the rain poured and drenching us both, I realized that maybe, just maybe, we’d figure it out together.

@hearts4werka |

𝐆𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 🏷�� | - @sturnsxplr-25 - @strnzzvsp - @luvvs4chriss - @sturniolosweetheart33 - @pussypie456 - @venusxsturnio - @bagsbyclair0 - @sturnstvs - @dykes4chris - @hoe4matt - @cayleeuhithinknott - @strnilolover - @marrykisskilled - @phone4pills - @emely9274 - @cupiidk1lls - @lily-strnlo - @nicksgirlfriend - @sturniolosiphone - @sophand4n4 - @zombiesturniolo - |

[dollarbils]

i know you | b.e.

billie eilish x fem!reader

masterlist (it’s short but it’s here <3)

‘you’re holding me and holding back’

her hands were holding your hips, carefully and gently. she was scared to use more force, afraid she’d hurt you. she’d pick you up as if you were made of glass, carefully adjusting herself so that you were on top of her. your lips never disconnected, needing each other in order to not grow insane. she was so close to you yet somehow distant, as if she was restricting herself from relaxing into you, in fear of the inevitable outcome.

“so, pretty.” she said in between kisses, not giving you the chance to reply, too distracted by your lips. but she noticed the way your cheeks warmed with her words, visibly flushed.

“i don’t really care for that, just you.”

and she did care for you, immensely. more than you’d ever know. but you’d wonder if she cared enough. because enough to you, meant more than the other girls. and you couldn’t be sure, but it’s what you wanted desperately. and even if she didn’t give a shit about you, the strength to break up this thing you had going, was something you’d never possess.

“mm, billie.” your speech was muffled by her tongue, but it was music to her ears regardless. none of them sounded like you. her name couldn’t sound as good as it did from your lips. but she never found the courage to tell you.

‘there’s a pause between every minute’

“alright, angel?” she broke away for air, and to smile at you, checking to see wether you were still okay. a small ‘mhm’ came from your throat, and she tilted her head to brush her lips against yours. she was breathing against you, mixing her breaths with yours as she kept smiling. that smile of hers only made your longing for her lips to return, grow. her hands caressed your waist, choosing to kiss you instead of speak words she’d soon regret. and despite her, smiling like an idiot, you hadn’t noticed her affection for you, the deep sense of happiness that took over her features.

“call me your angel again.” a soft laugh escaped her as she soaked in the scent of your hair, falling around her face, trapping the both of you in your own world. you wanted to hear the term of endearment in her voice again, choosing for it to let you escape the complicated reality. but why was it so complicated?

‘feeling like i need something’

it was clear you wanted her, wanted more from her. and, to her at least, it was clear she wanted more with you in return. the raging complication was fear. the deep, shattering fear of commitment. an issue that ran deep and wouldn’t be soothed by soft kisses and strokes of her toned back.

“my angel. my gorgeous fucking angel.” and it was true. in your heart you were hers, and she wholeheartedly returned the feeling. to speak of it was pushing too far, almost crossing the limit. a limit of what she could mentally handle. because to love you would mean to give up her freedom to leave if it got too much for her. but in the depths of her conscious mind, was the knowledge that even now, she could never leave you.

‘it’s just you.’

that was all you needed. each other, like this. holding your bodies gently, in an embrace that could never be labelled. and the other girls, not that there were that many though, were there to ease her insecurity of not being enough for you. not being good enough.

it was all fucking bullshit. but it worked. and neither of you could be bothered to settle the longing for a title. it was love in an unconventional form. but it was love nonetheless.

‘i’m here regardless of the pain, don’t ever tell me to go away, from you’

[firstkanaphans]

RE your tags on the bromance thing - I think I allowed myself to get a little panicky earlier when seeing a few people talk about there potentially being more, and whilst there are a few points made that I can understand, I do feel like the amount of worry I’m seeing it maybe a little preemptive?

Like, I do agree that it feels stupid to put TayNew in a bromance series; if they wanted two actors that are close & have worked together before, why not Tay and Off or New and Gun or something? BUT I did see that Tay and New actually wanted to do a bromance series together, so there’s part of me thinking that this was THEIR choice to do this series and not give it to some other actors. (And let’s be fair, I don’t think there’s anyone else who could have made this show so warm, angsty, and lovely.)

I feel like GMMTV has really been embracing their BLs a bit more if I’m honest, and sure, they do queer baiting in their non-queer shows, but who doesn’t? You can watch anything on Netflix or whatever and find ‘bromances’ that are severe queer baiting.

I kinda feel like sometimes people pile on GMMTV a bit much, all because they’re kinda like the biggest company in the drama community that does decent queer dramas? I don’t know if that’s just me being blind to their flaws, but I sometimes think they get a little more hate than other production companies and not always deservedly? (I mean I know they aren’t perfect and I call out their bullshit myself, but I feel like sometimes it’s ‘cool’ to hate on them?)

Sorry if none of this makes sense and I’m rambling - it’s almost 2am and I really need to sleep 🤣

In my opinion, these claims that GMMTV is going to pivot to bromances because they’re less gay and more profitable are absolutely baseless. Bromances are not new to GMMTV. They’re not even new to TayNew as I believe I’m Tee, Me Too was a bromance as well. Like you said, P’Dome explicitly stated that TayNew wanted to film a show together that was not a BL. Should they not be able to? And weren’t these same people complaining just days ago that CPs are never allowed to act outside of their CP? Now, they’re mad when they do.

What people are losing their marbles over is literally just the cast and crew having a good time with the fans. Did they play into the shipping aspect both onscreen and off? Of course they did! What writer worth their salt would have passed up such a perfect opportunity? But to me, it didn’t feel malicious. It felt like P’Dome was just having fun and giving Polcas a little nod. I almost feel like it would have been more strange if he hadn’t.

People certainly don’t have to like bromances, but it’s like We Are all over again where people were saying its very existence was indicative of the fall of the genre as we know it. And that’s just utterly ridiculous. This isn’t a queer story where the queerness was censored. In fact, there were explicit queer themes throughout. This is just a platonic love story and a lot of people who may not be interested in romantic relationships have found immense value in that.

Like I said in my tags, P’Aof is the Director of Content Production at GMMTV, meaning he is literally the one in charge of what content is being produced, and I’m choosing to trust the gay Thai man who has dedicated his career to this. He has such a passion for telling queer stories. Why would he stop now?

But like you said, it’s become hip to hate on GMMTV. And look, I don’t like corporations either, but let’s not pretend like GMMTV isn’t really fucking gay. Because they are. This is not a company that has ever shied away from explicitly queer content and is actually making more of it than ever before, so I’m not going to fault them for adding a few shows for the straights too. And if they have to make het stuff, I would much rather sit through a bromance than anything else.

I mean Jesus Christ. Peaceful Property was fun. I had fun. And it was also really good—easily my favorite offering from GMMTV all year—so if they want to make a hundred more bromances just like this, I’m certainly not going to complain about it. Some people just don’t want to enjoy anything.

(And go to sleep, Pip! It’s late 😂)

[rainofaugustsith]

Feeling feels about the SWTOR "If you didn't log in, you're losing your name" bullshit. One thing, giving this only about a year's grace period is pretty sus IMHO especially when one considers the amount of disasters happening, longterm illness, deployments, wars, etc. happening. I feel like they should have given this a grace period of a bit longer.

Am I going to play SWTOR again? Not incredibly likely given that the way the story has gone since 6.0 - the Alliance Commander being reverted to a faction lackey with all progress completely lost - does not sit well with me. One of the reasons I have mostly fallen out of love with Star Wars is that unlike the first three OG films, it seems like a fucking hamster wheel nobody ever escapes. For millennia after millennia, the same exact bullshit, or variations thereof, with a very stark, narrow and dogmatic worldview and "this side evil! This side good" simplistic perspective that is entirely grating. They never learn. They never move on. Any of them. One of the reasons I loved SWTOR up through KOTET is that it seemed like they escaped that hamster wheel, that there were broadened perspectives and "gee, it looks like there are good and evil people everywhere in the galaxy, and maybe we shouldn't write off entire planets and spiritual expressions as evil, and how can we build bridges to go beyond what we have now?" sentiments and stories. And then they did the traitor arc and oops, here we are again on the same treadmill. Having said that I poured so many hours into Viri, and so many into my other alts there, and built up such a world for them, and spent so many hundreds of dollars on years of subscription, that their names mean something to me. I also worry that since I have the Rain Plays SWTOR page, which still does get read and referenced, that if someone sees a character running around with one of my names that does awful shit it will reverb back on me by name association. ...which is why I'm downloading a 51GB game so I can log in for two minutes to save Viri's names. I haven't even played since 7.0 drops so I assume I'm going to find her abilities bar gutted and also have to pick fighting styles for her (I don't give a damn; all my Jedi are getting the Sith equivalents and all my Sith are just getting whatever is the other DPS in their own home class). Ah well. Just dropping in to say hi, putting Viri and Lana back in their house if needed (the Alderaan stronghold has a tendency to not leave people where you put them) and dropping out again. But I feel like it might be nice to say hi to these two for a few minutes. This is where I left them.

[exhuastedpigeon]

Maybe don't take love advice from me because I'm a stranger on the internet who got married nine months after meeting my partner, but if you want some love advice I'm feeling sentimental since it's my 5 year wedding anniversary.

As annoying as it is to hear it, it's unfortunately true that in most cases you meet someone when you're ready. Ready doesn't have to mean ready to get married and settle down, I certainly didn't feel ready for that when I met my partner - ready can mean a whole lot of things, but to me it means you're in a place in your life where you're ready to put in the work and create a partnership with someone. You've got to be open to meeting someone, even in situations where you'd usually not be open to it. I met my partner on the west coast at a conference we both attended for a mutual hobby. Neither of us lived on the west coast. It just so happened that we lived within a 6 hour drive of each other back east. It isn't always easy, but love shouldn't feel like a job. Sometimes you've got to be willing to make sacrifices and changes to your life and you should expect your partner to be willing to do that too. Compromising isn't always 'meeting halfway', sometimes compromising is accepting something is that important to you but it is to your partner and letting them have it. Sometimes it's your partner doing the same for you. Falling in love is the easy part. Once you open yourself up to the idea of love and being in love, it's the easiest thing in the world to do it. Staying in love isn't the hard part either - the hard part is loving someone and knowing sometimes they're going to hurt you and sometimes you're going to hurt them even if you don't mean to. Don't lose yourself in your relationship. Have your own hobbies and interests. Be comfortable not being around each other 24/7. Do find parts of yourself in your relationship though. Find hobbies to share. Let yourself feel childlike joy with your partner. They shouldn't complete you, but they should compliment you and make you feel at ease enough to find new parts of yourself. Communication is the most important part of a relationship. If you can't effectively communicate with your partner, you'd better learn how to or expect to be unhappy. Communication doesn't just mean talking either, it means listening, it means listening to understand not just to reply. It means figuring out how you both communicate and working together to communicate effectively. You gotta talk about money. You gotta talk about kids. You gotta talk about where you want to live. You gotta talk about what you want in the future. If you don't do this, if you just assume, you're setting yourself up for heartbreak if your partner and you aren't on the same page.

I could go on and on, but the biggest piece of advice I have about love is this - the idea that you have to love yourself first before anyone can love you or you can love anyone is bullshit. You need to be able to trust that your partner is being honest with you when they tell you they love you though, you can't let your insecurities colour how they feel about you. Projecting onto them won't make anyone happy.

[werebutch]

Literally what the fuck is the point of anything I’ve ever done if after all the sacrifices I’ve made for my sister end up with her telling me I’m abusing and manipulating her and that I’ll never understand her and that I make her hate herself. This goes for both my sisters but mostly my middle one who I also happen to be best friends with. The only reason I stayed alive was for them. But me and my sister go through cycles of being joined at the hip, then I have to ask her a favor and she freaks out and it turns into this huge crazy situation. I have to work on my group project but I don’t know when to have her pick me up (because of course she wants my car) and the time she has to wait around for me will probably overlap with the time she usually spends with her boyfriend. It’s always the fucking boyfriend btw, nothing can come between that time. One time she refused to drive my diabetic, stage 4 kidney disease dad to the ER because she wanted to pick up her boyfriend first. She ended up screeching in my ear the whole car ride. She still doesn’t see what’s wrong with that. Anyways so her thing is that my whole family acknowledges her selfishness, but we all realize that it’s entirely on accident and she has no idea she’s like this. Genuinely it’s just in her nature. She’s extremely sensitive about being called selfish, she’s a self described people pleaser and empath. To be honest it’s just middle child victim mentality. I don’t even know where I was going with this but what the fuck am I supposed to do because I truly don’t like hurting my sister so I avoid it most of the time unless we’re seriously in a crazy argument. And even then I still hold back because duh I love my little sister. Idk. I am not at all absolved of the hurtful stuff I’ve said and I CAN be very mean when I want to be, but my sister is the one person who I really can’t say much to. And I don’t. Calling her selfish is really the big problem here but how am I supposed to avoid it if every disagreement we have is about that 😭 everyone is selfish bcuz they’re human but my sister is a different breed. But she’s the younger cuter one who cries easy and soaks up sympathy and I’m the older sibling turned parent who doesn’t cry so I’m much less ummmmm idk. You know? So my family calls me evil and a monster and everything. And sometimes I start believing them and sometimes I think it’s bullshit but it’s probably a mix. I have the best interest of my sisters in my mind at all times and sometimes that makes me an asshole in their eyes. Im just tired of being the evil one WHICH is directly related to my mom leaving who used to be (and still is but she’s not in the house anymore so the pointed fingers are directed at me instead since I’m the closest thing to her) the scapegoat . I don’t know what I can do to make this better

[terresdebrume]

It's funny: when I wrote my master's thesis on how writing fanfiction could help people learn a language, I had to explain fandom to my teacher. My first part was basically just an introduction to fandom and fandom history, and when I wrote that the advent of internet fandom led to more distance between fans and creators, my advisor thought I'd made a mistake

Surely, the internet and social media meant more proximity, right?

But unfortunately, creators (actors, writers, game developers, visual artists and everyone else) keep trying to engage with their fans in good faith only to keep being fucking smacked in the face by entitled people who don't know how to take a deep breath and stay polite / vent in private about their disappointments or opinions

Recent examples include:

The forced coming out of Kit Connor

The critical role cast distancing from the chat a LOT, before they were forced to prerecord the show

Apparently the Jayden Revri & George Rexstrew cameo thing (not sure if it's actually cancelled or no yet, haven't looked into it in detail)

This is the visible aspect of that, where it affects semi-famous artists (none of these shows are as mainstream as we make them out to be here in nerdom) but the truth is it's the same phenomenon that keeps independent queer or poc owned businesses from growing as much as they could, and it's the same phenomenon that drives fic writers and fanartists away from their passions and fandoms entirely

And the difficulty is that if you make the mistake of trying to talk about it then a certain portion of the fans/audience will come out to complain that your scolding tone is scary/rude/entitled/mean (the latter 3 adjectives I suspect of being used largely by the people who were entitled gits about art in the first place*) which means that if you try to engage with people at all it's more and more of a When rather than an If you get entitled dicks in your notifications

And it looks like the timer for that is shorter and shorter, and it's fucking frustrating to watch because you guys, this is how we get bland MCU bullshit pushed on us from every fucking quarter by the people who actually have the money and manpower not to give a shit

I don't have a solution for this, I'm just frustrated by the state of things

* And as for the people who are genuinely scared, I say this with all the love in my heart and a long history of anxiety: strangers do not have to bend over backwards and make themselves into cardboard cutouts to accommodate our issues. They just don't. It's inconvenient and sad but it's the truth and if you don't know that yet you need to learn it fast

[nilla-wafer]

[waitineedaname]

you know, for being an orphan, Luo Binghe has a lot of dads. he's got Tianlang-jun (bio dad), Airplane (creator), Mobei-jun (stepdad by virtue of being married to Airplane), Shen Qingqiu (don't ask.)

lots of moms too! Su Xiyan (bio), the washerwoman (adopted), Shen Qingqiu again (seriously, don't ask)

[corpusdiem-seizethedead]

Angel: Husk let me fell asleep with my head in his lap and kissed my cheek when I woke up. He's so cute. I wish he liked me.

Cherri: *looks into the camera like she's on The Office*

[moongothic]

WAIT WAIT WAIT HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE

So normally we only get fullblown, extended and dedicated flashbacks for heroic characters in One Piece, the characters who we're meant to root for. The literal only TRUE exception we've had to this rule was Big Mom's flashback. Even fucking Doflamingo's flashback was tied to Law and Rosinante's

So the fact that we haven't gotten a single fucking GLIMPSE at Crocodile's backstory is?!?

Like sure, we haven't gotten like a Moria flashback, but you know, he literally told us all we needed to know himself, AND we got to see glimpses of him in the Wano flashbacks. Arlong didn't get a flashback of his own, but he did get to cameo in Fisher Tiger's flashback. And Rob Fucking Lucci got a flashback that was 6 whooping panels long

BUT CROCODILE?? Not only do we know almost Fuck All about his story, but also have never gotten as much as a glimpse at it? But his backstory has been HINTED and TEASED at multiple times??

GUYS. FELLAS

Like. I am SURE the "Full Backstories for Heroes Only" rule is going to get broken again, but with Imu and Blackbeard already there just BEGGING to have their beans spilled, can we even be sure Sir Fucking Crocodile is somehow going to become A Villain So Dangerous To The Narrative that he ALSO should also recieve a Full Fucking Backstory?? For his Nefarious Schemes?? AT THIS POINT??

Y'all

I think it's more likely Oda's been saving up Croc's backstory because it might just completely recontextualize his entire character

[bericas]

isaac & scott / mason & theo | sometimes all i think about is you

[sanderssideswriting]

Yeah the ts crit community really is mostly on tumblr. If any crit on twitter is brave enough to call out thomas or even just ask a SIMPLE INNOCUOUS question like ‘hey whens the next sanders sides coming out’ they get dog-piled by his followers. Just now my twitter tl algorithm made some posts pop up from ppl I don’t even follow and they’re just defending thomas + his patreon and saying that we’re just angry jealous ppl who don’t understand what goes on behind the scenes for him (as if THEY do?).

I swear, the die-hard fans that are still left, I’m sorry, they’re not a fandom. They’re a cult. A cult of personality centered around one man, purely there to keep stroking and defending his fragile ego. They’re no better than the sw*fties or any other group of ppl driven by blind devotion, obsession and white knighthood.

Oh 100%, there's next to no ts crit community on twitter, I got curious and checked a few days ago, searching stuff like Thomas Sanders Critisism, TSS Criticism, TSS critical, stuff that's used over here and the only thing that got anything was the first, but then it was just showing stuff with "Thomas Sanders" or even just "Sanders" in the post. So it's hard to organize that kind of community, plus the die hards and Thomas being on there.

I'd say the only place the fandom is pretty active is on Twitter, and that's soley because of Thomas, because he interacts with the fans and makes it so that there's motivation to make tss stuff. You know there's a community on there for it and if you're lucky Thomas will see it and retweet it. Otherwise it's kind of a joke that the fandom is dead until it's breifly revived whenever a new episode comes out. Which then leads to parasocial relationships and the idea that somehow continues to persist that Thomas is a poor boy who can do no wrong and if he did do wrong he didn't actually know any better. Never mind he's thirty-fucking-4. And his fans are half his age.

One this I do kinda disagree with is the idea that all his die hards and current fans are like 14, which I just don't think is true, I think they were like 14 when the last proper episode came out, and are now more along the lines of like 18 or around there. He's got a lot of patrons, including 17 people who paying $125 a month, that money has to come from somewhere and I doubt it's all from allowances.