#and brain things mean having an existential crisis

[sleepdeprivedsimp234]

Ok- I’m having an existential crisis cuz I can’t decide which of these fit NY best like-

He has a broody temper like Raph, has leader/responsible vibes like Leo, is an absolute NERD like Donnie (they’re both so autistic-), and he’s an absolute child at heart and gives off youngest sibling vibes like Mikey. So which one fits him best 😭 Pls help @stawpny 😭

[mezzmerizd]

"That's gore of my comfort character" no dude that's gore of my literal irl pet. Written and produced and published all for my ""dream"" film awards apparently. I fucking hate it here

[monamipencil]

an ode to mingyu's tiddies

genre; smut, mdni <3 | warnings; mingyu's tits, reader is OBSESSED with his tits, reader has existential crisis throughout the entire fic, perverted thots, a mention of magic mingyu, mentions of food, mentions of fever (she's just horny af), mentions of public indecency, dry humping, tits sucking (m. receiving), face sitting, oral (f. receiving), mingyu is a shameless thot. | a/n; here she is. fought demons writing this. hope you guys like it!

you’re obsessed. to say the least. 

the first time you actually noticed them was quite early into the relationship. he pulled you into a bone-crushing hug, effectively smushing your face against his chest. and you honestly didn’t mind dying like that, squished in between his pecs. nonetheless, something was awakened inside you that day. 

and it doesn’t really help that mingyu loves flexing his muscles. his chest is one of his best assets that he shows off. especially to you. goddamn him and his damn tight-fitting tank tops. you can’t help but watch with an ajar mouth as he works out, his chest pushing out under strain. oh, how you would love to fondl- “take a picture. it lasts longer.” he smirks at you, leaving you flustered and embarrassed.  

mingyu also notices the way you stare, or should he say, where you stare. pride swells in his heart each time you glance at his muscles. and well, he loves the attention. so he does what he does. he flusters you every chance he gets. with his tits.

he foregoes his shirt in bed. every. single. time. the first time it happened was not long after your epiphany. you didn’t pay much mind to it since it was after sex. but then, it became a routine. cuddling to sleep meant having his tits pushed up against your face or back. and, in some cases, you get to fondle them as you spoon him. 

and you know what? scratch that. he’s entirely shirtless around you. all the time. might as well get naked and start living in nature at this point. and well, who are you to reject adam in the form of your boyfriend, mingyu? 

christ’s sake. the things that he makes you think and do. 

the very rare times that you are not bombarded with magic mingyu would be when you’re both outside. being his girlfriend also means being his workout buddy. it also means fighting demons that whisper the filthiest things about him to you as you help him with his workout. well, the demon might just be your brain. 

you keep—try to keep your eyes on his face, sipping from your water bottle after your workout. and he does the same, maintaining eye contact with you as he hydrates himself too. mingyu can make anything hot. even the most innocent things like eye contacts or cooking. or maybe you’re just a pervert. 

you internally sigh, breaking the eye contact and look around the almost empty gym. it’s pretty late, and only a few night owls are in sight. but empty enough to get away with him pushing you against the mirror and fucking the life—that’s enough. this man has reduced into a degenerate at this point. 

with embarrassment in your veins, you quickly kiss his cheek, promising to use the shower quickly and reunite with him to go home. you again fight demons as you sprint to the shower area. you could just go home and shower with him. and have some more ‘workout’ too. shaking your head, you quickly take your shower. 

…

“is everything ok?” mingyu asks, concern etched onto his face. you haven’t even touched the food he made, and you’ve been like this since coming back from the gym. you hang your head down in shame and shake your head, shifting on the couch. he’s worrying about you, and here you are, thinking filthy things about him. 

his big hands wrap around your wrist, pulling you closer. “shit, you have a fever?” he tilts your face up and lays the back of his hand on your forehead. the other hand lays on your waist, feeling ticklish and hot on your skin. your skin burns more at the question. oh that? no, i was just thinking about getting folded in half and being fucked by you. nothing else haha…

“no,” you manage a grunt out, feeling shy under his gaze. “what are you talking about? you’re burning!” he counters. you sigh, and all the escape routes close, leaving only one path open. 

with great courage and greater embarrassment, you admit, “just horny,” 

“hmm? can’t hear you baby.” he leans in closer, eyes big with worry. 

“i’m horny and i wanna fuck you.” 

mingyu does a double-take at your words. you’re burning up for him? you’re almost seated on his lap now, looking at him with lust-clouded eyes and parted lips, and he feels the waves of heat seeping from you. the post-workout adrenaline is yet to wear out, and he feels so drunk on you. he leans down in a daze, slotting his lips on yours and pushing his tongue into your mouth right away. 

you moan into his mouth, gladly accepting his warm tongue with your own. he pulls you onto his lap, resting his hands on your ass and squeezing them through your thin sweatpants. you tug on his hair, earning a groan from him before feeling up his muscles. mingyu shivers when you caress his back. then you rub his biceps, feeling the hard muscles before settling on his pecs. 

he yelps when you pinch his nipple, breaking the kiss. you don’t give him time to think, pushing him back on the couch and removing his shirt. he breathes shakily as you palm his chest and thumb his nipples. a pathetic whine erupts from his throat when you kiss down his jaw, sucking on his tan skin. 

you lick up a stripe on the column of his throat, and his hips buckle up, pushing his needy cock into your warm, clothed cunt. you nip at his sensitive skin, leaving behind patches of wet saliva as you descend down. mingyu grips your ass, pushing your hips down as he grinds his hard cock against your core. 

you finally reach his pecs, littering kisses all over them but then he pulls you away, causing you to pout and whine. he matches your frustration, whining about his cock. “please, i need to feel you.” you huff, discarding your pants hastily and he does the same. you stop him when he tries to take off his boxers and he looks at you confusedly. 

confusion turns into neediness when your hands wrap around his cock, freeing it, but you leave the boxers on. his veiny, hard cock rests heavily in your hands as you push aside underwear, guiding his cock inside it. but you don’t let him inside you, instead resting his cock against your cunt, and the thin material of your panty is stretched by cock. he moans, feeling the cloth pressed against his aching tip. his eyes roll back, feeling your arousal coat the underside of his dick when you grind against him. 

you resume where you left off, sucking hickies on his pecs. mingyu lets you take charge, lazily grinding against your wet cunt. his mind goes blank, and his nerves fire up with the need to be inside you. your warmth is driving him crazy, and he can only whine as you move against him, his tip stimulated by the material of your panties. 

mingyu moans loudly when you wrap your lips around his nipples. your tongue flicks at the hardening bud, sucking hard on it. your hand plays with his other nipple, pinching and probing at it. the sensation throws him off the edge, and he completely loses it. whining, he moves his hips at a faster pace. you release his nipple with a wet pop, only to suck on the other. 

your wetness coats most of the underside of his dick now, but you’re still dripping. you whine against his nipple as mingyu grinds faster, and your pussy throbs against his length. with a bite to his bud, you pull away, gripping his shoulders and grinding back against him. 

he rests his head on your neck, biting down on your skin to stop his whining. but it’s fruitless as he humps you faster, feeling his orgasm building up. you tug on his hair, pulling his head back to kiss him. you lick into his mouth, kissing him deeper and grinding down harder. 

he breaks when you bite his lower lip, immediately cumming with a loud groan. his large hands lock behind your back, pressing you down, which causes the material to stretch over his tip. the pearls of cum oozing out his slit gather at one spot before oozing out the cloth as well. you groan in unison at the lewd sight, and you rub the cum, spreading it and rubbing his sensitive tip. 

pulling him out, you rest against his chest and sigh. feeling sated even though you didn’t cum. he chuckles, and his chest reverberates at the action, causing you to look up at him with a smile. “what?” you kiss the corner of his lips. 

“no wonder you’ve been ogling my tits for the past few weeks. you could’ve just asked, y’k?” he smirks, brushing his knuckles against your cheek, and you flush. so, he did notice. your cunt throbs again, and you gulp, feeling shy under his gaze. like you didn’t just suck his tits. 

“caught you red-handed?” he brushes his lips against yours, one hand resting at the base of your neck and the other caressing your hips. you pinch your eyes shut, hiding in his chest, and he chuckles again. “i don’t mind, baby. you can be loud about your fantasies.”

he drums his fingers on your ass, humming, and you practically feel his smirk. cocky bastard. you huff, opening your mouth to make a sassy comment, but instead, you yelp when he moves under you quickly. he lays on the couch and repositions you over his face. 

you gasp, feeling his warm breath hit your wet cunt. he presses a kiss over your panties, and you have to grip the couch to not lose balance and end up suffocating him. “you fulfilled your wishes. now it’s time for mine.” he whispers against your core, smirking up at you. 

his wish? having you suffocate him with your cunt as he laps at your juices. (and that’s the only thing that has been running through his mind, watching you work out in the damn spandex pants.)

tags; @seungkwanschicken @aaa-sia

[ordinaryschmuck]

...You know that thing where an AI crashes when presented with a paradox. I think that's what's happening here. It's more than Caine having an existential (or perhaps identity) crisis about his purpose at the circus. The whole reason behind his programming is that he cares for the needs of the people in the circus and give them fun adventures. His code tells him that this is what he's good at. SO if he's told that he's bad at the one thing he's good at, it causes his brain, and the circus, to fry. Meaning that the characters have to either cater to HIS whims or politely offer constructive criticism that's clear enough to get through his beeswax polished coconut of a mind. And that...is equal parts fun and a little horrifying.

[ghostdiva]

Jax's Character Gimmick

This is a theiry my brain has cultivated since watching the 4th episode, since it is a theory, don't take anything I'm saying as fact. it's purely speculation for now.

also apologies in advance, but this will be a wall of text, that is to say, a long post.

So, Each character in the Digital circus seems to have a gimmick of some kind. Ragatha gets hurt by the environment often, Gangle's got her breaking comedy mask, Zooble has their ever-changing parts, Pomni seems to have an existential crisis every episode, and Kinger has his fluctuating lucidity. But what about Jax?

well, in episodes 3 and 4, Jax either didn't get a lot of screen time, or didn't take many opportunities to cause mischief. Hell, in episode 3, Jax vacuumed up ghostly only because that's what he thought he was supposed to do for the adventure. after that Jax didn't get to do much on account of being tied up.

In episode 4, as far as mischief goes he just throws Ragatha in the deep fryer. but before that happens, I think we see the first glimpse of Jax's gimmick. it happens in the first minute of the episode, where Ragatha was helping Gangle learn to throw a baseball. Jax honestly seemed to just want to play a game in the moment, yet when Gangle threw the ball, and he hit it, the ball hit her right in the face. Jax might not have looked apologetic in the moment, but he did seem confused. and when Ragatha went to scold him about it (assuming he did it on purpose), he says "I actually didn't mean to do that".

This is interesting to me because in every other episode, Jax has done something to cause mischief. and said mischief usually involved someone getting hurt, thrown around, or having something of theirs broken.

Here's the thing, I think that Jax deliberately causes this mischief on purpose, because his character gimmick is causing harm to others. maybe when he first arrived in the digital world, he had tried to be nice, maybe even helpful, but those efforts would backfire in a wacky way, ultimately resulting in something or someone getting hurt. in other words, he'd accidentally do something that harmed someone or something important to someone.

I think at first he felt bad about it, accidentally causing harm to others. but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't seem to go a day without hurting someone. and the harder he tried to avoid it, the more others would get hurt. So Jax, seeing the pattern, decided to embrace it. He started deliberately causing mischief, and found that if it wasn't an accident on his part, then he would have a level of control over how much pain he causes. like if he feels he has to cause chaos, at least he can control it to a degree.

over time, I think Jax started to find humor in others misfortune. and it sorta turned into a coping mechanism for the gimmick of constantly having to cause someone else misfortune.

[sunderwight]

Much as I love the idea of PIDW being rife with terrible porn tropes and interesting (if contrived) erotic writing conventions, all actual evidence in canon would seem to indicate that apart from some sex pollen and "uh oh, the protagonist has gone into a fugue state, whatever shall calm him down?" type stuff, it was fairly vanilla.

Like, that's part of both Shen Yuan and Airplane's frustration with it, I think. It's full of sex and it's not even sex either of them enjoy the concept of. Airplane was fully just trying to pander to an audience he felt he knew and could manipulate, but not one either he nor his ultra mega hate reader were actually part of.

Not that they understood that themselves at the time.

I mean I know fandom likes to make Airplane less closeted than Shen Yuan (for a lot of reasons), which I support, but I feel like in canon at least... he didn't cotton on to Luo Binghe's change in interests at first either. It wasn't until he was watching his protagonist obsess over resurrecting Shen Qingqiu at any cost that the light started to dawn. For Shang Qinghua, also, many more years have passed since he was back in their original world. He's had more time to reconcile himself to certain ideas.

What glimpses we get of the person he was before he died, was reborn, and lived a whole other life well into adulthood, would seem to indicate that he probably wasn't much better than Shen Yuan back when he was writing.

I mean he probably was still BETTER (the bar is on the floor), like I bet he could have a fantasy featuring Mobei Jun without having an existential crisis or pretending it didn't happen, but he would have probably been like "wow I guess I've been writing so much m/f porn that I can't even enjoy it anymore and my brain had to come up with something else, anyway Mobei would make a hot chick tho, I'm gonna write one of his cousins as Binghe's next wife" and gotten on with things.

Basically I guess what I'm driving at is that it would be funny if SQQ and SQH figured they had a solid handle on the kinds of sex pollen-y porn tropes to expect from the world (mostly just the occasional fuck-or-die that missionary can cure), only for the rug to get ripped out from under them because the system incorporated a bunch of stuff from Airplane's subconscious to fill out the gaps. Not even his notes. His daydreams and fantasies.

SQQ: what the hell?! PIDW didn't even have werewolves or tentacle porn monsters!

SQH, suddenly reminded of some very specific fap sessions: right?! this is definitely weird and in no way my fault! it must be because of the genre switch!

SQQ: *suspicious*

SQH: which is your fault! you made the protagonist gay! in fact it's probably your fault that I'm gay too now!

SQQ: bullshit. what did you do. was this in a draft?!

SQH: *sweating* I can say with absolute confidence that it was not! I never wrote anything like this!

SQQ: *having a crisis now because maybe he DID accidentally cause the monsterfucker stuff and he desperately doesn't want anyone to realize that he's actually into it*

SQH: *continuing to sweat because the world is consistently manifesting content from his personal spank bank and if cucumber ever figures that out he's a dead man*

[lavenderprose]

Once again I am rotating EdIzzy Intricate Rituals and also, predictably, Izzy Hands carpet munching

Izzy, who would suck Ed's dick for breakfast lunch and dinner and thank him for the privilege, clamps his legs SHUT the moment Ed starts making any sort of movement past his tits. They do not talk about this. Ed assumes Izzy has some dysphoria stuff going on. Or whatever a 1700s pirate would call dysphoria. Basically, Ed's mouth waters when he smells Izzy's lap but apparently getting head makes the gender ghosts that live in Izzy's brain angry, y'know? Oh well.

Meanwhile, the gender ghosts and everything else that lives in Izzy's brain think about nothing BUT Ed going down on him. The list of Most Common Thoughts in Izzy's head is thus:

1.) Murder.

2.) That knot looks wrong. Who tied that knot. What the fuck is going on with that KNOT-- (Cont. see: Topic #1)

3.) Ed Teach's fucking mouth.

He has dreams about it. It's a whole thing. HOWEVER, something something all the internalized phobias, something something Izzy's self loathing, something something Blackbeard doesn't give head. Izzy won't allow Ed to DEBASE himself for the likes of himself. A captain can't SERVICE his first mate. It's not how things are DONE. What would God Mother DAVY JONES say??

This goes on for anywhere between several months to twenty-mumble years depending on just how ill you need these men to be about each other to nut, or whatever.

Enter: Stede Bonnet, who Izzy absolutely does not respect and who eats pussy like he's been in a loveless sexless marriage for twenty years. That is so say: badly, weirdly, and with enough eagerness that the first two things don't matter.

Someone once said that Stede just sticks his nose in it. This is fact.

Point is, one day Ed walks in on Izzy with Stede knee deep in the passenger's seat and has a full-on existential crisis.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I COULD HAVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR TWENTY(?) YEARS, Ed shouts as he wraps Izzy's thighs around his head.

"Oh, that's how you do that," says Stede, and Izzy pretends that the kick he delivers to Stede's chest is purely because Ed is doing something with his tongue that Izzy thought was only possible in one of those weird dreams were nobody has to breathe.

Your Poor Wife floats a voice on the wind--Davy Jones, in case you were wondering, because he actually HAS been watching this whole time.

"Did you hear something?" asks Lucius, several decks away.

"Not at all," says Fang, and ignores the fact that everyone on the ship can clearly hear a very distictive raspy voice wailing from the Captain's cabin.

[sinnabarmoth]

Getting Older

Pairing: Xavier x Fem|Reader

Prompt: You have an existential crisis when Xavier tells you that he is a centuries year old alien.

Length: 1200

Xavier was hiding something.

After months of officially dating him you could tell when he was trying to hide something from you. Problem is you couldn’t think about what he could possibly have to hide. You knew Xavier. There was a lot of him that was a mystery to you but ever since you got together he had been very open and honest about who he is.

So what was it that he was still keeping to himself?

You were lounging at home, you had just gotten a new video game and Xavier was over to play co-op mode with you. It was a pretty typical day until you noticed that Xavier kept glancing at you. Usually when you played video games he was zeroed in on the screen. You had tested him once just to see how focused he was while playing a video game and started stripping right next to him on the couch. The man did not so much as blink until you were completely naked and then he paused and pinned you to the couch. Apparently he had been aware of what you were doing the entire time and was just biding his time until you were bare.

But now he kept looking over and was barely paying attention to the puzzle you were trying to figure out in the game. Finally you had enough and paused. “What is it?” you asked.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that you’ve been stealing looks at me the entire time you’ve been here. Something is on your mind so just tell me what it is because if we get a game over on this level again I’m going to slap you.” you crossed your arms over your chest. “Now tell me.”

Xavier sighed. “I…there is something I’ve been meaning to tell you but I could never find the right time. Then again, I’ve had enough time to learn that there is no perfect time for anything. There are better moments but I can’t keep this to myself any longer.”

“Xav,” you took his hand. “Whatever it is, you can tell me. You know that, right?”

“I know. I just don’t want you to freak out when I say this.” Well that was ominous.

Xavier took a deep breath and looked at you. “Do you remember when I said I had killed over 70,000 Wanderers?”

“Yeah. Still have no idea how that is possible for someone so young.” you shrugged. “Is that it? You’re gonna tell me you were exaggerating to look cool?”

“No. I wasn’t exaggerating and I’m not exactly what you would call young.” he cringed away from your inspectful gaze. “I…um…”

“Xavier?” you squeezed his hand. “It’s alright.”

He dropped his head, looking up at you through the fringe of his hair. “I’m not in my twenties like I told you, nor am I exactly human.”

You wanted to ask what he was going on about but remained silent, waiting for his explanation. “The truth is, I come from the planet Philos. The people there age very slowly and about two hundred years ago I came here with some friends. That’s why my record of Wanderer kills is so high. I’ve been around a long time and I’m going to be around for an even longer time.”

“You…” there were so many questions swirling in your head. He was from Philos? Was he really that old? How had no one realized that he had been around for two hundred years if he looks exactly the same? Who were these friends? Were they still around? Who else knew about this?

But what ended up coming out was, “Does that mean you’re still gonna look like this when I’m eighty?”

Xavier blinked at you. “I mean, I suppose. I may look a little older by then but not by much.” he rubbed the back of his neck, “Is that all you have to ask? I just told you I’m a centuries old alien.”

“I know. I just--” your brain was short circuiting. “Do you know what it is going to look like if I’m fifty and I’m walking around calling a guy that looks like he’s twenty my husband? They’re gonna think I’m a cougar or a sugar mommy or something! People are gonna think it’s weird!”

“Did you say husband?”

“Wrong thing to focus on!” you sighed, trying to rein your emotions back in. “Sorry. I know you didn’t want me to freak out but my brain is just flooding with thoughts and I can’t sort through all of them at once.”

“It’s alright. I figured this would happen when I told you.” he turned you to face him again. “But I needed to tell you. You deserved to know the truth.”

“And I’m grateful that you did. I don’t care that you’re super old--”

“I wouldn’t say super old--” he muttered.

“--or that you’re technically an alien. I still feel the same as I always did. I still love you.” you cupped his face. His two hundred year old youthful face. “But now I’m thinking about how long this is going to last.”

“What do you mean?”

“You said people on Philos age slowly, right?” Xavier nodded. “So if you age slowly and you look like this at two hundred years old, that means you’re going to be alive for a really long time. But me, I’m just a human. Our average lifespan is eighty years. By the time I’m old and dying you’re still going to be like this. You are still going to be around and me…”

You took in a shaky breath. “I don’t want to leave you alone.”

Pain flashed in Xavier’s eyes, as if this hadn’t occurred to him either. He pressed his forehead to yours. “I…I don’t know what to say to make you feel better. I don’t even know if anything could. I have no answers about what may be waiting for us in the future but I do know this. I do not care how long we have together, I will cherish every single second of it. And if you leave this life while I am still here, know that I will find you in the your next one. I will always find you.”

“I’m going to get so old!” you cried. “I’m gonna be all wrinkly and slow!”

“And you will still be the most beautiful woman in the world to me.” he kissed your forehead. “But if there is a way to match our lifespans, I will find it. Because I would want nothing more than to grow old with you. Be it we are given sixty more years or six hundred. I will always love you.”

You hugged him tight. Whatever fears you had about your future you didn’t want to think about them now. Right now you were young and happy and your lives were full. That was all that mattered. And come hell or high water you would find a way to rewrite fate. You would not leave him, not for anything.

He gave you a tissue to wipe at your tear stained cheeks. Once you had calmed down he left a chaste but loving kiss on your lips. He pulled back with a small smile. “So…what did you mean exactly when you said husband?”

Your face flushed with heat all the way up to the tip of your ears. “Oh uh…about that…”

[sturn777]

fb!chris making a move on dealer!reader . | ( female!reader ) wc ?? ( masterlist ) + ( request )

꒰ part one ꒱

lana's note : hey guys . please don't hesitate to send in requests if u want, i'm open to suggestions on what to write for this au ! hope u like this <3

꒰ა " you don't know what's in store, but you know what you're here for . " ໒꒱

yet another frat party, maybe it was the fourth one this week— you'd lost count. the party’s winding down, the music still loud but slower now, basslines dragging like the night itself is drunk. you’re leaning against the railing of the back porch, sipping a water bottle someone shoved into your hand earlier. the air is crisp, a welcome break from the suffocating heat inside, but you’re on edge, glancing at your phone every few minutes. your buyer is late, and you don’t hang around frat parties for longer than you need to.

“yo, you always this hard to find, or is it just me?”

his voice cuts through the chatter behind you, smooth and cocky like he owns the moment. you glance over your shoulder, already knowing who it is. chris stands in the doorway, sporting a black t-shirt that clings in all the right places. his hair’s messier now, the backwards cap gone, and his smirk is even sharper than before.

“didn’t realize you were looking,” you say, turning back to the railing, feigning indifference. he steps closer, the crunch of gravel under his sneakers giving him away. “yeah, well. figured we had unfinished business.”

you scoff, tossing him a sidelong glance. “i’m not here to hold your hand through your existential crisis.” he huffs a laugh, low and lazy, leaning against the railing beside you. bloodshot, glossy eyes glaring your way. his arm brushes yours, but you don’t move, don’t even flinch. “nah, i’m good on that. just thought you might wanna stick around for a bit.”

you raise an eyebrow, crossing your arms over your chest. “and why would i do that?” he shrugs, taking a slow sip from his beer. “dunno. maybe you like the company. maybe you don’t get this kinda vibe where you’re from.”

you laugh, a short, sharp sound. “what vibe? sweaty frat bros and watered-down beer? yeah, i’m good, thanks.” his grin widens, and for a moment, it feels like he’s studying you, trying to figure out what makes you tick. “nah. i mean the vibe of someone who doesn’t give a fuck about any of this.” he says that last part, hands gesturing behind him, towards the frat.

that catches you off guard, just for a second, but you mask it quickly, tilting your head at him. “and what makes you think i care about your opinion?” he leans in, his voice dropping just enough to make your pulse jump. “don’t have to care. just think it’s interesting, s’all.”

you shake your head, pushing youeself off the railing. “interesting doesn’t pay my bills.” you’re halfway to the door when his voice stops you. “hey, hold up.” you glance back, exhaling through your nose. “what now?”

he’s standing there, hands in his pockets, looking almost... unsure. the smirk’s still there, but there’s something else beneath it. something curious. “you never told me your name.” you stare at him, the words sitting heavy between you, and for the first time tonight, you feel like he’s being genuine. not a player—just a guy trying to figure you out.

“why do you care?”

he shrugs, stepping closer, his movements slow and deliberate. “dunno. maybe i like a little mystery. but i got a feelin’ you’re gonna be around for a while.” “confident, aren’t you?” you quip, but there’s no bite in it, not this time.

his grin softens, just a little, and he nods toward the house. “stick around. one drink. if it sucks, you can leave.”

you hesitate, the rational part of your brain screaming at you to leave, but something about him—about this whole thing—makes you pause. you sigh, crossing your arms. “one drink. and if you try anything, i’m gone.” he chuckles, raising his hands in mock surrender. “scout’s honor, ma.”

and just like that, you let him lead you back inside, the music thumping louder with every step, the tension between you thick enough to cut with a knife. but as much as you tell yourself you’re just playing along, you can’t ignore the way his eyes flicker back to you, like he’s making sure you’re still there.

and for now, you are.

[cheeseceli]

most to least BTS: with whom you can turn your brain off?

Pairing: ot7!BTS × Gn!reader (individually, ranked)

Genre: fluff, established relationship, most to least

Request: Can it be sort of like a most to least with whom you can turn your brain off? Thank you have a lovely day xx

Warnings: low-key bad explanations

A/n: guys I do mtl now 🙂‍↕️ how inaccurate is this lmao | daily click

Most

Suga - idk that's so self explanatory to me.

Taehyung - I will never describe him as something less than simply THE boyfriend material. Even husband material, really. If you want to turn your brain off, you can. He even encourages you to do so. He likes to know that you see him as that reliable. And he also LOVES to take care of you. If you don't want to, you won't ever need to do things by yourself as long as he's by your side.

Jin - husband material once again, I don't see a scenario where I'll stop talking about that. Overall, I see him as someone who emanates a lot of safety? Like, you know that you can trust him no matter what. If you want to just stop thinking overall next to him, you know there's absolutely no problem because he'll be there to help

J-hope - I see him as a sort of legal guardian of the maknae line ngl, so he knows how to and actually likes to take care of someone. I don't think that would be different with their s/o. If anything, it would be even stronger

Jungkook - I feel like he would love to take care of you and would get a small ego boost when you turn your brain off around him, because that means you trust him that much. However, he's still the maknae. He is used to being pampered. Sometimes he needs to be the one to turn his brain off, that's why he's not in a higher position on this list.

Namjoon - I was gonna put him higher on the list, but a friend of mine said that he thinks too much and that would make you think too much as well, and that's kinda true 😭 he would love to make your life easier, as your partner, but he also loves those kinds of conversations that are too philosophical and will put you into an existential crisis

Jimin - I have no actual proof as to why he's last here. It's just that I think he would like to turn off his brain next to you, but one of you needs to think, so like??? You could make turns but I have no idea of how that would work lmao

Least

Masterlist | you'll probably like: when they have a crush (I swear the explanation is way better here lmao)

Reminder this is just fiction!! I'm not trying to portray real life and you shouldn't believe that this is how the members actually are. This is just for the vibe and the delulu!

Taglist (open!): @yuyubeans @butnotmontana @sheraayasherrecs

Dividers by: @cafekitsune | Images 1, 2 and 3

[bitethedevil]

CW: Incest…sort of?

I’ve got this fucking fic idea stuck in my brain. I can’t get it out of my head but I have too much shit going on too so I can’t write it. So now I’ll just ramble about it instead.

The first time Tav meets Raphael, he sort of narrows his eyes at her and stumbles a bit in his prepared speech without her knowing why. Tav is a red-skinned tiefling with orange eyes, and she looks the spitting image of Raphael. The hair, the nose, the horns, she’s even a damn bard.

Her companions don’t get it either before he does his magical girl transformation into a cambion and then even they are like “hmmmm”. Tav doesn’t see it at first and stubbornly brushes it off as pure tiefling racism.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Avernus, Raphael is having a full on existential crisis. Could it be? He had always been so careful. He supposes it could be possible…The thought that he might be a father freaks him tf out. Rattles his shit completely, but also intrigues him. It quickly becomes a minor obsession for him to know. He does his research and finds out who Tav’s mother was and that it technically could be possible, since she was a former client of his.

He starts treating Tav differently. He even helps her a little bit. It’s not reeeally out of fatherly love, but more out of Raphael’s love for everything he can mirror himself in, which now definitely includes her. He spoils the shit out of her. One minor obsession merge with the main obsession that his potential daughter might bring him the Crown of Karsus.

Tav doesn’t complain and her companions encourage her to play it up because Raph’s help is super useful, which she then does. The problem is that she’s not sure that Raphael is not her dad either.

Things get super weird and at some point shit gets too real. Raphael seems so sure that all his hard work on his ‘daughter’ means that he will get the Crown of Karsus for sure. Tav has played it up so much that it’s almost awkward at this point to tell him no when it comes to signing his contract. She feels really pressured, and she and her companions decide that the game is up. They can’t give the Crown to Raph, but they still need the Orphic Hammer.

They break into the House of Hope. When they get to the boudoir, they meet Haarlep, which is now even weirder considering the whole paternity situation. Killing Haarlep is not really an option since they are naively hoping they can damage control pissing off Raphael since Tav is now closer to him.

Haarlep takes one look at her and his brow furrows as he looks her up and down. They have heard Raphael rambling about her and the whole situation, of course, but they are still surprised at the resemblance.

Despite the discouragement of her very disturbed companions, she decides that she just need to get it over with and fuck them, and that technically it’s not weird because it’s not her maybe-father, just a copy of him.

Haarlep almost kisses her but gets a good whiff of her breath before they do so and damn near falls off the bed. They open her mouth and take a deeper whiff.

Now it’s Haarlep’s turn for an existential crisis, because Tav isn’t Raphael’s kid. She’s Haarlep’s kid. Her breath has a subtle scent of diluted succubus spittle, which is how Haarlep knows. This is all possible because Haarlep is transfigured to look like Raphael (meaning: has completely changed shape) and hasn’t just taken his form or is glamoured to look like him.

Haarlep’s dick goes soft for the first time in millennia, and they can’t do it. Even they have their limits. Tav and her companions are so fucking out of it that they just leave without the Hammer.

Raphael’s reaction to the whole thing is essentially: “Oh…😮 Oh…😏🫦”. The fatherly feelings are gone just like that. That shit gets his dick rock hard. It’s basically a copy of him but without magic or anything. He might even genuinely fall for her a little bit for the sole reason that he sees himself in her.

Tav, understandably, is not cool with any of it, but Raphael is nothing if not persistent. Weird obsessive love drama ensues and Haarlep (and literally everyone else) feels very weird about the whole thing.

[augiewrites]

"secret admirer" - dead poets society (part 5)

summary: y/n receives a curious invitation from meeks and has a surprise encounter with neil and todd

pairing: anonymous!dead poet x gender neutral reader

word count: 1.2k

previous | next

It was finally Friday, and Y/N was looking forward to spending the weekend recovering from a week of non-stop exams, cramming, and a nonexistent sleep schedule. The morning’s classes had been a drag so far, and they were looking forward to the reprieve of Keating’s class. Knowing they'd be in close proximity to their admirer aside, Keating’s class gave them an opportunity to activate another part of their brain—one concerned less with grades and formulas.

No, this part was more concerned with matters of feeling. Matters of love, art, expression—everything crucial to finding true meaning in life.

Meaning.

Something that Y/N’s life—and the students of Welton’s lives—was severely lacking.

Y/N shoved the existential crisis to the back of their mind, shooting Todd a smile as he occupied the desk at the front of the class.

Their desk compartment was empty aside from their textbook and notes. Y/N felt their heart drop. It had been empty for days.

Did I make a mistake leaving that poem?

Y/N did their best to not look disappointed. The only thing more embarrassing than their poet’s lack of response was the thought of him observing their discontent.

Keating’s class didn't give them much reprieve that day.

_________________________________________ 

Against their better judgment, Y/N found themselves in the library during common hour. In all truth, Y/N just wanted to go back to their dorm and bang their head against the wall until they fell asleep. Alas, the expectation of a 4.0 GPA was looming over their head.

Thankfully, Meeks was the only other person to show up. Y/N didn't think they had the strength to deal with Dalton.

“So are you just going to keep side eyeing me, or do you have something to say?” Y/N set down their pencil and turned to face Meeks.

“Y/N, you've sighed three times within the last minute,” Meeks quipped, "seems like you're the one with something to say."

“But I'm right, though. You have something you want to say."

“I'll share with the class if you will.”

The two stared at each other for a moment—Meeks' expression much lighter compared to Y/N’s frustrated features.

Y/N gave in first.

“I’m tired, Meeks."

“Of?..."

“Everything.”

“You’re going to have to give me a little more here, Y/N.”

“…”

"I'm waiting."

“My GPA dropped to a 3.7," Y/N’s gaze was fixed to the table, “my parents are not happy. I feel like all I ever do is try, but it's not enough, and it never will be. My social life is practically nonexistent, I don't remember the last time I had fun, and I can feel my spirit dying. Some days it feels like I'm dying."

“You’re more than your grades, Y/N. You have to know that."

“I know that, Meeks. They don't,” Y/N let out a bitter laugh, “they ship me off to this prison, don't let me come home for breaks, and they call me maybe twice a semester if I'm lucky. They see my grades more than they ever see me."

Meeks was silent for a beat as Y/N cradled their head in their hands.

“Tomorrow night. Meet me outside the East wing at 10PM.”

“Meeks, what are you—“

“Just trust me. If you care about your spirit, anyway."

“Fine,” Y/N began packing their bag and stood up, nodding absentmindedly, "yeah, okay."

Because everything was cosmically determined to go wrong, Y/N crashed into Charlie as they rounded the corner out of the library. Their armload of textbooks crashed to the floor.

“Don’t you know to look both ways before crossing the street?" Charlie joked as he knelt to pick up Y/N’s books.

Y/N kept their head down as they gathered the mess of note paper that exploded out of their trig book.

“I mean, really, Y/N. If you want to feel me up you don't need to be so aggressive about it—“

Charlie’s sly smile melted into concern when he noticed the tears in Y/N’s eyes.

"Hey, are you okay, Y/N?” Charlie passed the books to Y/N and placed a gentle hand on their upper am.

Y/N gave the boy a tight lipped smile and stepped away from his touch.

“I'm fine, Dalton," Y/N was already moving down the hall.

“Y/N—“

“If you're looking for Meeks, he's still in there."

Y/N disappeared around the corner, leaving Charlie staring at the space they just occupied.

_________________________________________

Y/N wasn’t one for skipping class, but it was the last period of the day and Y/N thought their head would explode if they didn’t get away from everyone as soon as possible.

They triple checked that the hallway was empty before rushing into the storage room filled with students’ empty luggage.

But the room wasn’t unoccupied like they expected.

Neil Perry and Todd Anderson were in the middle of the room, locked in a gentle embrace.

They jumped apart when they heard Y/N’s soft sound of surprise, and the trio looked at each other in shock for a beat.

“We were just—” Neil took a step away from Todd before the other boy cut him off, surprising everyone, seemingly including himself.

“We’re together.”

They all stared at each other for another moment before Neil stepped forward again.

“You can’t tell anyone, Y/N.”

“I won’t,” Y/N blinked, suddenly coming alive again, “I would never.”

Relief washed over the two boys. Todd was more red than Y/N thought was humanly possible.

“Okay, I’m just gonna,” Y/N took a step back and jerked a thumb over their shoulder at the door, “go…”

They turned quickly to leave.

“Y/N.” Neil’s hand enclosed their wrist as they reached for the doorknob.

They looked up into Neil’s soft gaze, a faint smile on his face, “thank you.”

“Of course,” they returned the smile and waved to Todd as they slipped out the door, rushing to their dorm to avoid being caught for truancy.

_________________________________________

Y/N had been laying in bed for all of fifteen minutes before they heard the familiar sound of paper sliding under the door.

They were out of bed and rushing to open the door before they could think twice. Truancy be damned.

The empty hallway mocked Y/N.

Frustrated tears welled in their eyes as they slammed the door and grabbed the envelope off the floor before ripping it open.

Beloved Y/N,

In your eyes, a storm silently brews, Emotional tempest, tears it strews. I stand close, a silent observer, Love entangled in your pain, a fervent preserver.

Your hurt, a whisper in the quiet air, A shared burden, a weight to bear. In the shadows, love stands strong, A balm for wounds, a solace lifelong.

In the heart's tempest, emotions entwine, Love persists, a steadfast lifeline. I may not heal all that pains your soul, But together, in love, we find a way to be whole.

x, Yours.

Y/N let the tears flow freely as they sunk down onto the bed.

They were certain of who wasn’t their poet, but they were in denial about who it could be.

~~~

part six

a/n: any reality where neil and todd aren't in love is a crime against nature

taglist: @vvnbxz @edb954

[tokoyamisstuff]

f! Reader | no warnings

They're all 100% meant to be girl dads. I can't explain why, it'd just be so cute. Literally the safest baby on earth.

Alucard

"I'd trade anything I have just for a child with your eyes."

Sis, that man is dead. 😭 I doubt even with his powers that's in his range of possibility.

No seriously, you'll probably voice your wish metaphorically, meaning it as a compliment, but it will throw him into a full blown existential crisis. He hates not being able to provide you with whatever you want, after all.

The suggestion alone wakes a desire in him that he never even thought about before. He'll secretly dwell in self-pity, fantasizing about what it'd be like.

At some point, he cannot bear that it'd stay a mere dream and suggest adoption.

Anderson

"Huh? *points to some orphans playing in the background* Don't we have enough already?"

Takes him a moment to understand the gravity of your words. Error. Brain stopped working.

Even if you're already long in a relationship/have been intimate with each other, he'll get adorably bashful at the thought. Is shocked how excited the thought of your belly growing round with his child makes him.

I don't think he's entirely opposed to the idea, but he honestly sees all of the orphans as his kids. There's already so many children without a family that need love and care out there, right?

Well, in the end the circumstances would easily allow it, and he's got enough experience. One more certainly won't hurt.

The Captain

...alright? Doesn't need to be told twice. He is the kind of guy that just goes along with everything his spouse says.

Not to sound indecent but he's a man on a mission, so prepare to be dragged into the next best place to fuck at any given time. Welp, that's how he found out he's got a breeding kink.

Gets even more clingy and openly affectionate than usual. Seriously, he can't wait until it finally happens, he might even be more thrilled than you are.

Walter

"My dear, you have no clue how much your words mean to me."

Delighted and overjoyed. It's been a great wish his entire life, but due to the course of his life he gave up on this naive hope years ago. To ever think he'd be given this chance, and with you of all people...he's truly blessed.

Would be prepared for every eventuality and literally carry you on his hands. You're used to being coddled by him, but this is some queen treatment right here.

His gratitude knows no limits. You'll forever be reminded of how much your family and your willingness to carry this child means to him.

Maxwell

"Wha- why? Am I not enough for you?"

Ugh. Children? He can barely tolerate dealing with people in general. Seriously, you should know him better than that.

Still, he's surprisingly cooperative. If you insist, guess it can't hurt as long as they turn out like you...

The closer the due-date however, the greater his panic and regret. Doesn't think he's cut out to be a father.

Definetly cries like a dog when holding his child for the first time. It's the most precious thing he's ever seen and he ends up being the most loving parent, thriving to give them everything he had lacked as a child himself.

Endlessly showers you in praise for gifting him this miracle, and having convinced him to the best decision of his life. This probably won't be the only child you'll have.

[theoryofthemultiverse]

I know this is probably out of character for him, but... Imagine Dr. Ratio being flustered about having a crush, but only when no one is looking. Bonking his head on his desk, writing poetry only to hide it under various books, getting snappy and mean with others because he's so confused over his own feelings. Like, yeah, he knows what it is, but *why*? There's no conclusive data to tell why he feels this way! His crush is just like any regular person, surely there must be some pattern or combination of factors that can explain this!

Ladies and gentlemen, this right here…

YES! JUST YES!

Honestly I had a thing in my drafts and I wanted to pin point it too so thank you for getting that stone rolling. I don’t actually believe it would be so much out of character for him!

Veritas Ratio would be agitated. A crush? On a normal person? It cannot be. He was set on dying alone, toxically thinking no one could ever match his intellect, so he would surely never fall for anyone would he?

Oh he was so wrong. When he met his crush he instantly viewed his crush as an ordinary person. A person that wouldn’t play a big part in his life’s strategy. Well you can give him 0 points for that because that mindset was gonna be obsolete when he finds out this person possesses an ability that he finds fascinating, utterly fascinating.

Like his crush f.e. being extremely good with emotions, just being very kind, or having any other personality trait that makes them special, that makes them themselves. Also preferably a trait that he doesn’t have, at least not this strongly.

For example, he might be creative to some point, but if he met his crush who had their own imaginative view of the world, that probes him to change his perspective from time to time. Also with a person that is not a genius there would maybe come a certain simplicity to said perspectives which he could find fascinating either.

But nevertheless the reason, because as we all know, love just strikes at the most coincidental moments with the most different of people:

He would still be confused. Himself a man of pure focus that is really never wavering suddenly finds himself to be staring inside his book and committing a (at least to him) sin, by only reading superficially. All while he also then catches himself to suddenly just let his eyes run over the paragraphs, thinking he is reading but in the meantime his thoughts run back towards his crush.

Poor man read enough books about it to know what it is for sure so at first he’d be the kind to gaslight himself out of it.

„No you are not in love, they are just a nice person, this is it. You are thinking about what they did that made you think about them, not them personally.“

Save to say that doesn’t work long and then, like this dear anon said he would hit that head on the tabletop, or sink under the water of the bathtub. Because he realizes he has no chance in fighting this.

And Veritas, a man of reason, would search for said one. He would do a complete psycho analysis first of himself and then of his crush to find out what about them makes him go oh ever so crazy.

Because he simply couldn’t continue to work this distracted. He feels like a fish out of water. Also we know he is not the kind of person that would leave this untouched. He might be embarrassed but he knew if he couldn’t continue his work productively soon then he might get an existential crisis.

So he copes with it, not sure if with poetry (if so he would do it in Latin to make sure no one accidentally reads it ;) or also, and he really really thinks 10 times about it before giving in to his love wrecked brain’s desires, sculpting his crush.

His students would be confused with him as well because they might just find him to be a pinch too less strict. So when he is distracted with thoughts of his crush he might let one or two mistakes slide. But everyone knows to better not ask him about it, or he is going to snap.

All in all he is going to try to get closer to his crush then, to find out more about what they did to him. And while he might also do that to desperately find flaws in his crush, it would just make him fall harder…

[aroaceleovaldez]

i stand by that a better, more sensible, and more intriguing plot for TSATS would have been, instead of retconning literally everything:

Bob is dead (because he was very explicitly absorbed/killed by Tartarus Himself in House of Hades, alongside Damasen), and nobody is going into Tartarus to save him. He made his sacrifice and is gone. However. Remember how the Titans, including Bob, were just kind of kicking around for several years? Particularly. On a cruise ship full of mortals. And Bob happened to be kicking around in general for an extra year versus all the other Titans. And he mythologically sometimes has a mortal demigod son who partook in the Calydonian Boar Hunt (Dryas of Calydon). Yeah.

So turns out, Bob/Iapetus leaves behind a demigod (demititan?) child. And because Nico was pretty much his only friend, he named Nico his child's godfather. And while he's not being left in charge of the child, as a son of Hades and godfather to this kid, Nico is duty-bound to fulfill Bob's last will and go find this like 2 year old to make sure they're safe. So Nico has to undertake this very unusual quest (that raises many questions, such as "demititans are a thing?" and "DOES THIS MEAN THERE'S POTENTIALLY MORE-?!" and "SHOULD WE BE CONCERNED ABOUT THIS?") and is kind of freaking out because. He's the son of Hades! He's notoriously bad with living things, and animals, and definitely small children! Even if he does find this kid and assure they're safe, he is the last person who should be undergoing any kind of quest involving even potentially having to babysit. Fortunately, his boyfriend is the human embodiment of sunshine and calmness and good vibes, and also once helped a nymph give birth, so he feels Marginally More Confident in theoretical demititan babysitting and offers to come along on this Epic Journey of Figuring Out What In Hades' Name Is Up With This Demititan Baby Business.

Proceed with wholesome epic shenanigans quest of Nico and Will scurrying around trying to locate this random OP baby while Nico has an existential crisis about the nature of his powers because he doesn't want to let Bob down! Both for Hades Kid Honor Reasons and because Bob was his friend! But what if he's destined to fail this quest just because of who he is? Because he's simply not built for hanging out with the living/mortals? And Will reassuring him that He Will Probably Not Traumatize The Weird OP Titan Baby And It'll Be Fine, and simultaneously getting a peek into the weird other life Nico leads hanging out with immortals much more than the average demigod, which Nico considers his norm. Bonus shenanigans of both of them getting caught off-guard and culture shocked from where each other's respective worlds (Nico's mostly-immortal versus Will's mostly-mortal) cross over and learning to navigate those for each other - Nico finally starting to make some mortal connections and get glimpses at modern mortal American life, and Will trying not to get his brain literally incinerated while Nico's happily casually catching up with some of his old friends who happen to be literal gods.

[velvetvexations]

Not gonna lie the whole "trans women are women because they experience misogyny or [xyz tangible reason like dysphoria or whatever]" thing confuses me so much because every single time I have seen a trans person or group take on the big "why are trans people the gender they say they are" question it quickly becomes clear the only real answer that exists and will ever exist is "because they say they are".

We've tried hinging it on dysphoria or brain gender or hormones or presentation or societal oppression(or lack thereof) and every single time we end up excluding people who are trans, and the only answer that includes the full, beautiful, diverse trans experience is "because we say we are".

I just don't understand the drive to make sense of it, it doesn't have to make sense, it doesn't have to hinge on anything, let alone societal oppression, and we don't have to have a perfect answer for the bigots because our word should be all that matters! Why am I transmasc? Because I say I am. Because it makes me happy. Is it a choice? I don't really know anymore, but if it is a choice I would choose it over and over again, every single time, and that doesn't make me any less trans. We make ourselves out of a mess of chemicals and electricity and salt and water every day. We make sense out of light and air and rocks and everything and nothing, that's all reality is! So what if it's a choice, or if it isn't? So what if gender doesn't really matter! Nothing matters!! And that means you have the freedom to decide what has meaning. What matters.

You're a woman because you say you are, because you choose to be, just like I'm a butch genderwhatever because I say I am, I choose to be, and that really should be all the justification we need. And for fucks sake we do NOT need to suffer to prove we're real. I do not oppressed therefore I am and I'm genuinely concerned that anyone would try to base their rationalization for their existence on SUFFERING!! You're not here to suffer, you're here to go spinny in a skirt and eat delicious food and piss off your family by shaving your head and play dumb computer games with your friends. Isn't that enough?

And like, there will never be a perfect argument that convinces people who are determined to misunderstand you that you are what you say you are, no scars spelling out the word misogyny or patriarchy you can show them to get them to go "oh yes sorry I was mistaken you are indeed woman pls go on your merry way", and even if there was they'd just move the goalposts. So ffs stop fucking waiting for the approval of people who hate you. You're a woman because you say you are, if that's not good enough for some people frankly they can go fuck themselves.

Anyway sorry for getting philosophical in your inbox I just have a lot of feelings about this. I had a really bad existential crisis in high school and came out fully believing that if nothing matters then everything matters and it seems so silly to me to keep trying to like, rationalize the existence of trans people with cold hard facts because like. We exist. We are what we say we are because we say we are. I don't have to have a man soul or whatever, I just know putting on guy's jeans and calling myself a dyke makes me happy, and I try to make a habit of not being shaken to my core every time some asshole tells me that's not good enough.

Very powerfully worded anon, thank you.