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creepycranberry · 2 months ago

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No Chance Showmance

Robin Buckley x Munson reader showmance AU

(Plus a little hellcheer)

Based on this request

Trigger warnings: angst, alcohol, mentions of homophobic parents, cursing, not proofread

(Let me know if I missed anything)

•••

“Come on, please?” you plead, giving Robin over exaggerated puppy dog eyes.

Robin can't help but think of how unfair it is that just a bat of your eyelashes can have her resolve breaking. Robin was somehow secretly happy that there was no way you knew that. Robin looked to Steve for some help but Steve shook his head.

“Sorry, Rob. if she managed to rope me into this shit then you're definitely a lost cause. it would probably be best if you just gave in now." Steve shrugged from the workbench he was setting up to help with set building.

“It’ll be fun, I promise.” you assure her, “you just need to do the spotlight when the stage manager says so. You’ll have plenty of practice beforehand, and I know this probably won't count for much, but we'll get to see each other more than we have lately.” You smile and then hesitantly make another point, hoping for something, “and maybe you’ll meet someone? You’re always saying how hard it is to put yourself out there and find someone.” The thought made your throat feel tight, you wait for some confirmation but Robin just shrugs and sighs.

It was true that During rehearsal seasons robin and steve rarely saw you. They worked the days you had rehearsal, and then you and Keith worked on days when you didn't. The promise of more time with you does sound appealing but robin still isn't sure. Rehearsals with you mean skipping band practice with Vickie.

“The show is in like two weeks, though. Are you sure that's enough time for me to-”

“More then enough time. I mean if steve can build and paint a set piece for us in that amount of time, im sure you could figure out the lights. I wouldn't ask if I really didn't need your help.”

“Fine. I’ll do it.”

The pure joy on your face and the bear hug you gave Robin was enough to assure her that she was making the right decision.

•••

Robin spent a lot of the next week with Mark, a somewhat gruff but passionate lightboard operator with a nasty habit of forgetting his cue. Much to Robins relief and your delight, she was pretty good at lighting. She subbed for mark in a few rehearsals, along with doing the spotlight and somehow managed to make the show run smoother than it did with the two of them.

Rehearsals went late fridays and started early saturdays, which is why you suggested robin stay at yours for a sleepover so you wouldn't have to pick her up in the morning. And so friday night after rehearsal you drove robin with you to your house.

It was rare for you and robin to spend time with just the two of you. Normally steve and sometimes dustin would be a part of the group. Or it would be you and Steve and everyone else and Robin would be with her band friends. So as the both of you sat in the car you both appreciated the rare moment of silence you got to share.

“Hey.”

You turn to robin and raise your eyebrows before looking back at the road.

“Yeah?”

“You're really great up there.” robin says quietly and you do your best to ignore the blush that creeps up to your cheeks.

“I really try but i think im probably one of our weaker links.” you shrug and robin sits up a bit more.

“No. mark is one of our weaker links, you- you're the fucking ringleader. I've never seen someone demand attention from a crowd the way you do.” robin realizes her babbling and clears her throat, “i-I mean, the theatre group is small, and everyone is so passionate about this, but i don't think theyd get anywhere with actually putting on the show without you.”

You're momentarily stunned into silence by the sheer sincerity in robins voice.

“Th-thanks. I, um, i've never really seen it that way- seen myself that way.”

“Anytime.”

The drive is quiet until you pull into the driveway of the old trailer. When the two of you get to yours and eddies shared room Robin is thoroughly interested in every little thing, fawning over the movie posters on your walls and the little figurines on your desk and bookshelf.

“It’s just kid stuff.” You shrug, taking her jacket from her and hanging it on the back of her door.

“Well we’re kinda still kids right? And plus it’s cool.”

“You’re cool.” You mock lamely but Robin just snorts. You really can’t help but smile, “I’m not good at the whole conversation thing.”

“It’s okay, I’m not the best either.” Robin shrugs.

“But give me a script and I can knock that shit out pretty well.”

“I know that much.” Robin smiles.

You like it when you can make her smile. You don’t think you’re funny most of the time but Robin makes you feel like you could be a comedian. She thinks you're funny, she listens to you and you like listening to her rambling.

You find yourself so focused and enthralled with her lips, watching them move as she talks, until she stops and you’re still staring. And then you’re moving closer to her, eyes still fixed to her lips, lost in the thought of what it might be like to be familiar with the feeling of them against yours.

You barely realize you’re giving into your impulse. Her lips are slightly chapped but still pillowy and sweet.

You think she’s kissing you back but then she’s gently pushing you away.

And you’re mortified when she looks at you, awkwardness settling over you and the uncomfortability of it has you rambling an apology as you stumble backward and get away from the house,waving Robin sitting there in your bedroom, utterly stunned. By the time she finds it in herself to run after you you’re so far ahead of her. She catches up to you though, holding onto your shoulder to stop you, fighting to get air back into her lungs.

“I’m sorry Robin, I shouldn’t have-“

“You didn’t do anything wrong I just-“

“You just what?” You sniffle.

“I like someone else- I mean I don’t not like you but i-“ she begins babbling but it’s not as comforting as usual. Now it feels like you’ve been stabbed in the stomach and the knife is being twisted and pulled upward.

You now understood what it meant when someone said they felt gutted.

“It’s fine Robin. There’s a landline in the kitchen, Steve can drive you to rehearsal tomorrow I just- I need to take a walk.”

Robin looks utterly conflicted as she slowly turns and makes her way back to the trailer.

•••

You stumble up to the trailer, your body feeling sort of heavy but you're riding on a high. The kind of high that numbs every sensation and makes every thought a little bit fuzzy.

You fumble with your key for a little bit before the door opens on its own, Eddie standing there giving you a concerned look.

“Eddie! How are you?” you smile, giving him a big hug, almost face planting in the process.

“I’m good? What’s going on with you? Are you drunk?” He asks you, holding out his arms to stabilize You so you don’t fall over.

You nod dazily, “mhm, ‘m just having a good time y’know?”

“Eddie? Who is it?” A voice from inside asks and you raise your eyebrows at Eddie.

“Is that Chrissy?” you whisper shout to him.

“Yeah, that’s her. Come on, let’s get you inside, you need lots of water and bread and sleep.” He hums to you, leading you into the house where a pretty blond girl is standing in the middle of the living room, shifting her weight back and forth between her feet.

“Chrissy!” you gasp, stumbling forward and away from your cousin to give her a hug.

“Hey, Hon. Is everything alright?” She asks you, leaning away from you and holding onto you as you slightly sway.

“Hm, I don’t- I don’t know… Chrissy, when a girl tells you she likes you, and you kissed her but she stopped the kiss and tells you that she likes you but she also likes someone else, what does that mean? Does that mean she like, likes you or does that mean that she doesn’t like you like that but doesn’t want to make you feel bad? And either way, how do you deal with that? Because this girl, she’s adorable,” you gush, smiling as Chrissy leads you to sit on the couch next to her, Eddie just standing there awkwardly, “she’s so cute and she’s smart and she’s funny and she does this really cute thing when she’s nervous where she starts rambling nonsense and sometimes I’ll try and make her nervous just to hear her talk but I don’t know… because I really thought she liked me, but then I kissed her.”

“Did she get mad at you for kissing her?” Chrissy asks you, coaxing you into drinking a sip of what you’re guessing was the water Eddie had been drinking before you got here, judging by the one at your usual place on the couch.

“Not really? I don’t know?y’know? Like, she didn’t push ‘m away and I think she was kissing me back for a moment but then just… pulled away,” you slur, your bottom lip starting to jut out a little , “and when I asked’er if I did something wrong she said no but she just moved so far away from me and then she told me she didn’t mind, and she wasn’t mad but that she liked someone else and I don’t get it.”

“Don’t get what?” Chrissy asks you, looking over at Eddie.

“She’s not mad? And also she likes someone else? But I don’t think she’s straight because she said she didn’t mind kissing me but if she didn’t mind kissing me and she’s not mad than what’s the matter? She looked so… repulsed by me, almost, she just looked so uncomfortable and her face like… it scrunched up but not in the cute way it does when she’s laughing, no it was like when someone calls you a fag from the side of the road, because that’s such a creative way of making it known You're insecure but I just- I really thought she might like me, i really thought that maybe she could care for me in any other way than platonically…”

you think you started crying somewhere in there.

Your lip quivers as you talk, your eyes welling up with tears, “maybe it was stupid, y’know. Maybe I’m just unlovable. I mean I wouldn’t blame her or my parents or my old friends or even my new friends, I’m a mess. A stupid, unlovable mess.”

You huff a little, trying not to cry and failing miserably.

Eddie sighs, his hand tucked into his back pockets, “you’re not unlovable, I mean you’re definitely a mess don’t get me wrong but you are very easy to love. Now come on, we’ve got to get you something to drink-”

“Whiskey coke please.”

“We’ve got to get you some water to drink,” he corrects and Chrissy laughs a little. Eddie looks up at her, his eyes adoring as she gets up, grabbing your hand and looping her arm through your, “and then we’ll get you some medicine and food but first you’ll take a nap and you’ll feel all better. Okay?”

You just nod, letting Chrissy drag you to yours and Eddie's room. you pull off your shoes, falling onto eddies bed and hugging the teddy by his pillow.

Eddie covers you up with a blanket, kissing your forehead like Wayne does when you’re sick and taking the hair tie out of your hair,setting it in the dresser before closing the curtains and the door.

you don’t fall asleep immediately, though you feel yourself wanting to.

Instead you cry a little, trying to sob as quietly as you can, though small whimpers still escape your lips every time you have to breathe a little.

you hold the blanket close to your frame, tucking your face into the stomach of the teddy bear.

Stupid

You don’t know what you were thinking.

Your own parents couldn’t find it in themselves to love you after they found out what you are, how could you expect her to?

You can’t help but feel a little grief as you think of your parents.

You missed them, you missed hugging my mother after having a hard day and just needed a good hug, you miss car rides with my dad where neither of us would talk but we still enjoyed each other’s company, you miss going to the drive in to watch old movies from when they were your age with them, you miss listening to the radio in the kitchen with your mother on holidays.

You just miss not feeling like youre stuck floating. you hate feeling like you don’t really belong anywhere.

You can’t help but feel like the most massive screw up, your parents hate you, Robin probably won’t want anything to do with you today, you’re just kind of lost.

You sniffle, wiping your nose on your sleeve.

Your nose is stuffed up and you can feel the headache from both the crying and the alcohol starting to form itself and you sigh to yourself, wiping your cheeks and closing your eyes. Maybe you can sleep off the headache.

But before you can drift off completely you hear quiet voices in the hallway, “is she gonna be okay?”

“She’ll be fine, she just needs to rest and take some time to herself. In the meantime I’ve got a band geek to murder.” You hear your cousin's hushed voice retort.

“Eddie.” You Can hear Chrissy's smile in her voice, “it just happens sometimes. Feelings are complicated. I’m sure the other girl feels terrible about how this went down too. It just comes with the territory.”

“I just- she’s still a kid. She shouldn’t have to be feeling shit like this.” Eddie shrugs and you hear Chrissy snort, “what?”

“You’re not much older than her.”

“I am three and half years older than her for your information.” Eddie retorts and you can hear Chrissy giggle quietly.

“She’s not a little kid anymore, Eddie.”

“Oh don’t say that. She’s still a little kid, she’ll always be a little kid. I could take her to a candy store right now and she’d go nuts.”

“Eddie.” Chrissy warns.

“I know. She’s almost grown up. Which sucks cause it means I’m getting old.” He drags out the word ‘old’.

“Hey, If you’re getting old then I’m getting old. We are both still glowing youthfully.”

You hear Eddie laugh and sigh, “fine. I’m still gonna go and fight that band kid though.”

“Edward Munson.”

“Full name? That stings.” Eddie says dramatically and Chrissy laughs again as their voices recede down the hall.

•••

Might do a part two but I’m not sure

#robin buckley x reader #robin buckley #wlw yearning #angst #hellcheer

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fanlucadango · 2 years ago

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MAJOR SEKAIICHI HATSUKOI SPOILERS AHEAD(Vol.16 & Future Volumes)+ Thoughts

Well its been.... 15 YEARS since

This BL Manga with a very... obscuring plotline counting how many days till this beautiful man named "Onodera,' falls in love with his Senpai, "Takano,'

By looking at how the generation changes as Years have passed where many Great BL shows, Manga's are becoming adapted in many languages and how society is changing to a point everyone is aware, Different Morals, Spotting Red Flags & reactions to the Ships & Chemistry has becoming more vocal of their opinions about it.

All those Years ago, Us kids when we know Sekaiichi Hatsukoi(The world's greatest first love) had always been either our First BL to watch or if never been the first -Could be Second or Third-

We never knew what it was like watching and knowing the fact we giggled & fangirled at those scenes as being Animated(Except those in Mangas)

Now this generation, as us Kids who were nowhere Adults or older teens grew to understand how toxic their relationship (Takano & Onodera) is in the manga as they grew to understand the plotline more. Little did they really know... what happened to the manga??? Had it ended after that?

When I checked in the Wikipedia source,

The series is still alive😳😳😳

(Fr my literal reaction)

But anyways LETS GET STARTED

Im not gonna say that much but if you wanna know the latest update of:

How many days till Onodera Falls in Love???

The latest Chapter that is being Translated said it was 16 Days.

Since 2021. VOL.16?!

Holy shit

And how it go when the effect come by as the manga showed:

16 DAYS TILL HE FALLS IN LOVE

Gurl... I tell you what I saw it's more of like Onodera My guy.

Madam Sir. You have this man kissing you every 24/7 every now and then. In every single chapter where you guys being Friends with Benefits doing all the Nasty Hardcore Version: Birds & Bees.

And ur asking HIM TO KISS YOU???

He has been doing that to Onodera for too many times oh my goodness gracious. And You know this man is jealous when he saw Onodera with other people.

ESPECIALLY THIS OTHER GUY WHO we saw in the latest chapter who have been there for Onodera when he went Abroad 🥹🥹

(Lowkey rooting for that man tho)

After a Banana & Donut Hole moment, I realised they were longing for each other but they both were sort of afraid to show it. Especially, how both of them can be really intense, despite their personalities. Even just for a little things they always see & realised how they grew or small things that they find, as they both reminiscent.

What got me surprised is when Onodera noticed Takano's lashes were long, he usually doesn't care before but when progressed has started as I read the recent chapters. I realised Onodera's feelings grew when Takano was there. Longing for his touch, gaze, kisses, his dire moments, his company... whatever you call it(Remember my previous post where Onodera Touches himself??)

I realised, he's starting to grow his feelings onto him, slowly getting there yet had many doubts.

After reading, the translations STOPPED and I didn't even get to read ANY UPDATE and its been 2 years from now.

All I got was... A Book Cover from Vol. 17 & 18(LATEST 2023)

I just even realised something...

Volume 16 had... 16 Days left...

Let alone there's 17 & 18...

I feel that Volume 17 onwards are going to start a Single Digit number. As Onodera PROGRESSES ONWARDS....

(I mean LOOK AT THIS COVER BELOW HERE)

This is legit...

The LATEST COVER SHOWN IN 2023

And it's gonna be released in 1st May...

Oh my GOD

Onodera's Hands DIDNT EVEN FLINCH.

I'm starting to bet when it releases.

We are getting a Single Digit Number till he fells in love & see how Onodera will react that way.

Starting from Vol.18

What if Onodera wanted to confess Takano back when Something bad happened to them again. Will do they do poetic Justice????

I HAVE SO MANY ANSWERS

THE END IS NEAR

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supermaks · 11 months ago

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I’m not used to disagreeing with you bc I usually don’t but the Charles post, woof! Maybe it’s bc I’m not a Charles fan but I am definitely a fan of max. Is it fair to consider you a chirlie at this point? 😂 as a person who prefers Carlos just overall (we exist I know) and how close this season was, just, I know Charles is stamped with the whole predestined thing and his fans like to say Ferrari don’t deserve him just as much as they like to celebrate this whole destiny brand but this season it was very close between Charles and Carlos? They basically traded off being the one more comfortable with a better weekend and close in points as well. It’s just grating to see him written of as like “mid”; when he actually is a very strong driver, good defensive driver maybe sometimes considered too tough by some but I have fun watching him. But everyone’s of course entitled to their own opinions and to like and dislike whoever. I guess it’s the Carlos and Checo comparisons that especially tend to make me go 🤨 bc maybe if you’re looking at Charles and max as being the “special boys” and the “other one” will always be just that. But the Ferrari drivers were closer this season compared to last year and Checo has just been further and further from max so performance wise to compare them… idk if I think it’s too generous to Charles or too unfair to Carlos (sorry Checo I guess). I just read your long post and had some thoughts, im not as good at articulating them as you… feel free to ignore! Hope you’re having a nice weekend

Oh bro lemme go ahead webblewebble my laminated chirlie permit rn I'm very much a sharl fan hes definitely one of my 'special boys' so the bias is real. Like when u say 'maybe ur looking at ((ur favs)) different' I absolutely am like theres no question about that 😭 Like personally I think if Ferrari were to have a competitive car over a whole season 16 wud be the one getting the most out of it. That has to do wid how I watch the sport and the type of driver I like or what ‘fast’ means to me like its really not worth all that jhjkjh just a preference. I was drawing some parallels between rbr and ferrari not checo and carlos’ individual performances just the dynamics that occur when a team has a car capable of dominance and what I think wud happen wid Ferrari. We were talking about why some chirlies—and that’s the last time im using that word like I cant— ‘hate’ on c2 to the point theyre celebrating pierre gasly randomly saying ‘they aren’t friends’ and imo its kind of a strange beef to have unless ur just a hater, which is fine but like , I think it’s a waste of ur time lmfao. Because some people acting like Carlos is the crux of sharls suffering and once he leaves it’ll all be ok and smooth sailing and like that’s just ridiculous. It takes responsibility away from Ferrari and their ((lack of)) leadership and ((lack of)) development. Maybe that’s me but I’ll never blame a driver for wanting to win and prioritizing himself even if its to the detriment of others and especially his teammate bro Im a Max and Lewis fan. And listen Monza this year?? I gotta say moved me profusely. I caught a glimpse of the mclaren dawg like that was nasty business. So while I don’t recognize in Carlos the potential I do in sharl like I agree wid u that it makes no sense to compare him and Checo when their seasons were fundamentally different and they had different objectives. And Carlos before his ((imo)) inevitable plateau did his job well yk got the win and everything. Have a good Sunday ty for the chat

#ask #long post #u articulated yourself just fine I appreciate u #💞💕🩷💕💞🩷💕

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synonymouswithanonymous · 3 months ago

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😊 Dear A

I absolutely don't mind at all! Several people have asked the same, for the same reasons. 😊😊 But I will use some quotes to help me go point to point! Thank you for telling me your thoughts, and "Sorry this was long" no need to apologize! I'm always longwinded lol 😊. I love it!

"The point I have is trying to understand why something as little as a white tee shirt, is making someone lash out basically, and degrade her. Saying she’s basically nothing without him and his image. Who would know the plain white shirt is his anyway?"

Exactly! As if there is but one white t-shirt in the whole world and it only belongs to AHA. 😂😂 I don't understand it either. They will try to find or twist anything, and that we've come down to a t-shirt as a reason to bash her at a musical festival is stretching hard. And you're right I doubt anyone there came to see her bc of him. I don't understand how they think with her successes, that she wouldn't be invited to things or that she is nothing without him. 2 movies, several musicals, acting noms, and 2 tv series out simultaneously! That's "nothing" ? Im baffled, they just want to degrade her at all turns.

"very transformational? No matter if it was filmed or not. She was happy about it and proud of herself for doing it so why ruin that and turn it into something it’s not?"

I agree, she wanted to document the moment and 2 years later it was still impactful enough to make her want to share. I think that's great. Imo, she's giving good advice, and encouraging people to explore themselves through nature. And make memories for yourself that highlights your inner strengths. I think everyone is stronger than they realize, more resilient than they know, and it's great to go on a journey with yourself, to get to know yourself better. I don't know why they have to twist it and turn it ugly, it makes no sense to me.

"I would also film myself everywhere I go if I went somewhere unfamiliar and beautiful (for safety purposes mostly) "

That's a really good point too, it's safer for women alone to film themselves just in case, and she's very brave imo to go by herself. I'd probably go at least with another person, just in case I hurt myself.

"She noticed her growth through those documentations and I bet it was nice for her to experience that and actually feel some good in a time she was mentally struggling. It was good for her and I’m glad for her."

I love how you worded that and I completely agree. I hope she's proud of her strength and how far she's come from that audition photo for Venus. The person in that photo, imo, seemed afraid and in pieces. I'm glad she's in a better place now mentally too. She looks happy to me.

"And that is probably what they want from her."

I think so too, that if they harass, degrade, demonize and bully enough they can make her go away. Bc that's what they want, imo, for their fantasy to be free again. Regardless of his feelings, bc they think he's their toy, and their toy got taken away. And also regardless of the fact that they're people and not toys just for their personal use/consumption. The self harm fantasies really threw me, I mean I really don't understand how anyone can think that way. How did it get to this point, over an actor, in their minds?

"just reading the stuff they say makes me feel that way and obviously I’m not her."

Me too, I'd never intended to start a blog. But I can't not say something. I sincerely hope they've never seen it either, that just makes me sad. Its cruel and abusive, and. Its hurtful. Even if they expect it, it's just sad. And I've also noticed that they rarely posted her or them, but just talked about the content. Same with mistranslating her, this was done purposely, imo, to be able to frame her negatively. So I've started posting everything I can find or is sent to me lol. (Hopefully no private acct stuff, I wouldn't feel right about that). And Bc she exists, she's awesome imo, and doesn't deserve any of the nasty things said about her, especially not since her only "crime" is that she exists and is his GF.

"posted privately on a friends page and it was found and posted by fans."

""wonder why he’s pulled back from posting such things"

" Is having sympathy not a thing anymore? Why is that a bad thing to people now?

💯! Yes, I've always found the "she's not respecting his privacy" haters to be completely irrational. Their complete lack of respect for his privacy is amazing.

They've

Tracked every female he follows or is seen in a photo with to research her. They find what pictures he's liked of those that aren't private. They listen for voices in the background of videos. Counting floor tiles, to see where she is posting from. Trying to trace every move they make online, even kitchen pages or self help pages. Checking geo locations of her posts and comparing it to his. Track all of her friends, his friends, his family had to go private back in '17 bc of the lack of respect for his and his family's privacy. Etc etc. But a woman posting her own boyfriend? Well she's crossed a line. 😂😂😂😂 it makes no sense to me. It never occurred to me to even try to find his mom's instagram,lol, she's not a public person.

And I agree, no wonder he doesn't show as much, why would he? He's sharing his life with JM. He loves her and she is important to him. Why would he want to share more, when people are being so vile about his love? I definitely can understand why we don't get much, a group of people ruined it for the rest of us.

I try to imagine what that experience might be like. And it imo, seems awful. People claim to be fans but then they pick at your every move, your partners moves, your friends and even go after his mom bc she dares to really like/love JM too. He's had to block even fan pages for overstepping on boundaries about photos/vids in the past. It must be hard bc of some People wanting you to represent and be who they want you to be, and getting angry that this individual would dare to be anything other than they imagined. And blame him or her for him not being who they imagined him to be. And get angry about it, like he's the disappointment or the problem. And feel the need to vent their personal frustrations over a life that is not theirs. I understand celebrating people, I love fandoms, but I don't get tearing people down just bc they may do things or think differently about something than me. And certainly not tearing people down bc he's happy and in love. I am a fan of several actors, even ones whose politics I dislike. Why bc that's their personal business and nothing to do with them as an actor. Example Gary Oldman, great actor, seems nice, fantastic he recovered from alcoholism, but I disagree with his politics. But I don't expect him to be a reflection of who I am just bc I'm a fan. I'll still watch his films, just watched Leon today, hadn't seen it before, and wow what a performance. Sorry he was fresh in my mind lol for an example. I love me some unhinged characters (oh ivar!). 😛

And about sexualizing him I agree, that must be so strange. I don't like being catcalled, whistled at, or sent certain types of pics (already got my guy, no others needed lol) I'd rather not see. That makes me uncomfortable. I didn't realize a pic of me in a leotard was an open invitation to creepers. So I can definitely understand that a lot of the comments etc that he gets would make him uncomfortable. I'm not an object and neither are they. I can't imagine how weird that would be on such a large scale. Or what he's been sent. Like seeing how that one actor from narcos read sexualized tweets about himself on tv. You could see the ick on his face. Sorry I can't remember his name now. 😔 Pedro Pascal? I've got that name wrong I'm sure. I mean thoughts are one thing, we all have them, but to foist them on others unsolicited is uncalled for imo.

You have a great day! Good talking to you! 😊😊😊💖 anytime you or anyone else want to be anonymous, please remind me! So i don't forget! 😊😊

#aha asks #aha #ask answered #alex hoegh andersen #alex høgh andersen

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yourdailyangel · 7 months ago

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So this is kind of a I don't know... Vent post? I'm mad or anything I just kinda need to I guess talk to someone but I don't really have anyone to talk to. You don't have to read this but it kinda feels like I'm talking to someone if that makes sense??? I PROMISE IM NOT CRAZY IM JUST VERY SAD IM SORRY and also everyone is saying that I'm being overly dramatic or that I'm being stupid but I don't know??? I'm hoping maybe someone can see who's right here?

But lately I feel like I can't really do anything right

I mean my came out to where me and fiancee were living and to make a very long story short she had lied to me to get me to come back to where she lives. Now my fiancee is back home where we lived because he had important things to do and couldn't come with me but ultimately I was lied to and now she's not letting me go back and even going as far as saying she's going to split us up.

Now me and him have a pretty healthy relationship^^ I've been in some nasty ones before and when we found each other I was scared it would be the same thing but oh my goodness! He is super sweet and he ACTUALLY CARES ABOUT ME?!?!? I often refer to him as my "prince charming" so we're both confused???

But my mom has always been this way she has never wanted me to be happy or "grow up" and before anyone asks yes I am of legal age I am above 18.

I was never allowed to hangout with friends and it even got to the point she took me out of public school and she home schooled me which I didn't really mind but it was all in an attempt to make sure I didn't have anyone.

And growing up I always thought this was normal? A part of me still kinda does? Maybe it is I don't know 🧐

I do not come from a happy home it was very much... Tense.

So I mean...maybe it is normal? I just... Needed a fresh look on it I suppose and I appreciate you for "listening" Im sorry if I upset anyone I just needed to talk it's NOT my intention to upset or trigger anyone and thanks so much for letting talk

Love you!🩷

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jade-of-mourning · 8 months ago

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no no no you’re entirely correct I absolutely understand what you were saying in your response to my last ask. honestly I entirely expect in the case street shithead mako gets dumped on anyone from canon they’re cooked but like. teenage korrasami especially. what you were saying was absolutely entirely what I was hoping for because it’s actually written in coherent words (more than I could come up with)

also I’m so happy you’ve given me a name. I’m honestly a little embarrassed about how much I yap between here and my atla SIDE BLOG (it’s not even my main and it’s so bad 😭) which is why I use anon,, but I might (!) man up and js send normal asks soon !! ALSO YOU THINK IM FUNNY??! TTHANK YOU!?!??!

okay so much to say,, trying to organize thoughts,, mako is absolutely the most bitter, petty, angry, vitriolic, mean little twelve year old ever (justifiably, honestly) and the way you understand that is. I’m in love with you. and bolin would absolutely have everyone hook line and sinker then drop a one liner that makes them realize he’s just as bad as his feral raccoon brother.

and I didn’t even think about it that much but a grieving teenage mako would absolutely be the scariest fucking gang boss,, like he would be out for BLOOD. the idea that he has somewhere to direct the anger was actually the point of the au so I’m really glad you pointed it out because zolt gave mako a target in this situation which only fueled his anger which— yeah. you get it.

bolin is mako’s anchor to life before he learns to be a person on his own (which I truly believe is part of why none of his relationships worked out—he couldn’t get what he needed from them and couldn’t give what they needed) so losing him would absolutely send him off the deep end. dying of starvation or something would probably make mako spiral to his own death while murder would make him abandon his distance from the worst corruption of the RC underworld and sink his claws in deep.

however. I was thinking last night. plot twist where bolin is alive. where has he been this whole time? (I don’t know) find out next episode! what happened to him? (if I figure it out you’ll be the first I tell) find out next episode! it’s s1 canon at the point he comes busting into the triad hq with korrasami and the police and mako is about to fuck them up with lightning but bolin looks just like their dad so he stops and like. dramatic reunion.

so then mako’s life collapses because he built all of this—his criminal empire—on the knowledge that bolin was dead. he didn’t have to worry about his little brother’s safety or naïveté because there was no more little brother to protect. but now he was helping the police and the avatar and the richest trust fund baby in the city break in?? if he doesn’t fight, he gets arrested. if he does fight, he risks hurting bolin, who’s been alive all this time. he doesn’t want to be a criminal if there’s no reason—he just didn’t care enough to not be without bolin.

he asks bolin what he wants him to do, because it’s always been about what bolin wanted—that’s who it was all for. bolin says he wants his brother back.

so mako, eighteen years old and covered in nasty lichtenberg figures he definitely got kicking zolt’s ass (or maybe even learning/using lightning) cuts a deal with the police to collapse the majority of gang function in RC by the request of his 16 y/o little brother who looks like he would cry if he stepped on a pretty flower by accident.

mostly unrelated but I firmly believe mako (and all atla/tlok characters tbh) has wayyy heavier scarring than he does in the series and esp the comics. like,, he and bolin especially are not growing up on the streets then looking like they were raised in a quaint middle class house on some side street. give him scars from fistfights. burns and scars from using half-learned bending wrong (earth or fire—they were both bound to make mistakes) burns from their parents’ death, learning lightning gone wrong, etc. I want my boy banged up and bruised. and honestly I love a good facial scar cause you know it has to have been bad to have stayed and it really distinguishes a character who has Seen Shit (see: Itadori from JJK. I don’t really watch JJK anymore but from what I’ve seen he’s experiencing the horrors quite consistently lately)

I was also having like,, thoughts, on the avatar mako au, if you’d like to hear more about them?

thanks for listening to my yaps yet again!

your favorite 🐌

hi snailon! because i'm looking at the bottom of the ask right now YES PLEASE send in stuff about the avatar!mako au i would actually combust and die. i might have to start writing this before i finish any other projects just bc you hype me up so much and it makes my brain whirr jkgfdjkhghdfb

also i'm gonna cut here so this doesn't kill anyone's dashboards haha

i don't mind all the mako thoughts!!! in fact they bring me extreme joy whenever i see posts lol. if you have no audience then i'm dead ig :P

bolin would absolutely have everyone hook line and sinker then drop a one liner that makes them realize he’s just as bad as his feral raccoon brother.

NO ACTUALLY mako is the outwardly unhinged one but bolin has sooooo many issues that are fantastically repressed, buried in trauma, and coped with through humor and sweetness until he opens his mouth and the most insane thing like recounting some horrific gang tales or going dumpster diving for dinner comes out. (well, that's canon bolin, but the horror would be much more palpable in a ten year old.)

also yes one of my favorite things about the potential of writing a tiny!mako is that i get to write him as the petty asskicking shithead that his canon self is desperately repressing in an attempt to be presentable to society. mako it's not going to work i'm sorry i can tell that you are full of so much pent up rage and one day you're going to explode and — actually i'm writing that what the hell that'll be fun

okay i just wanna say that i love your au of bolin-is-not-dead sm and i would actually kill to read it. please keep dumping that in my inbox if you're too self conscious to post about it on your blog but like i'm dying what i love that sm. i don't have a lot to add on to that but i'd always be happy to hear more! though:

so mako, eighteen years old and covered in nasty lichtenberg figures he definitely got kicking zolt’s ass cuts a deal with the police to collapse the majority of gang function in RC by the request of his 16 y/o little brother who looks like he would cry if he stepped on a pretty flower by accident.

this juxtaposition is such a funny mental image

also responding to the "unrelated note" — you are so right tbh. mako & bolin definitely did not get proper medical treatment for the stuff they sustained in their childhood so stuff that might not be a big deal for others is going to be a lot more prone to scarring. idk why but i really like the idea of mako's hands being kinda fucked up considering his fingerless gloves deal. up until book four, you really don't catch him without gloves except events of the tanktop, largely around bolin. i just think it's a neat concept. and ofc we all know that he's like the only guy in both series to not flaunt around half naked which my gay ass isn't mad about but idk i just think it's such a source for potential. there's a couple older mk fics regarding that floating around on ao3 which is where i got it from i think lol :P anyway yeah i too love all characters to be physically beat up, just a little bit as a treat you know dhjjhbfjhsbhd both mako & bolin should definitely be more scruffy lmfao

ANYWAY i'm so sorry that this took two days to answer; last couple days have been wild and my brain's been exploding haha. i hope i didn't miss anything and if there's anything specific from this ask that i did miss just. like. send it in again fgdjkgdfhdfgj anyway hope you have a good day!

#lychee acquires and answers asks

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smileymoth · 9 months ago

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No i hate actually how much my dad has shaped me into a person and how i interact with things. I hate that i'm just like him sometimes and i express my feelings in the exact same dysfunctional way sometimes. That i lash out in anger sometimes. That i hate when people do things the "wrong" way. I hate that i had to fear him every weekend when he came home because what if the rooms werent clean enough and he would yell or be mad. I hate that i had to walk around eggshells around him when he was in a bad mood so he wouldnt yell at me, and i hate it more that it still fucks me up to the point that i run away when someone is upset bc im afraid of them. I hate that i would have such horrid anxiety abt him coming home on the weekends or staying at home for longer that i wished he hadn't come in the first place. I hated so much how he would twist my moms words, and read through all her messages and browse through all her history and shit on her and me for how long we both spent on the computer so i learned to delete history to get away with more computer time. I hate how one time he slapped me so hard on the thigh that it left a bruise but he denied it later so i have no fucking clue if it actually happened because hes never been physical w me and my mom but i remember it so vividly. It was 1 time and never again and in 3rd(?) Grade and i still remember it every now and then. I dont like it that i hated being at home because 80% of the time they were fucking arguing with my mom in the kitchen over something HE made up because HE was jealous of my mom or didnt like sth that my mom did bc HE didnt like it. He caused her so much grief and she had to put up with it and i followed suit because i wanted him to like me so i was nasty to my mom to please him. I had to listen to him rant abt mom and just nod along because i didnt know what to say. And then he started getting better and he wasnt so argumentative anymore so me and my mom were like omg hes changing. And then he fucking died. And i had to watch him die at the hospital while repeating to myself he will be fine becwuse hes a big strong man who has never been sick so he MUST survive, all while doing homework for logo class. And i woke up on tje morning of the 28th dec at 5am with the thought that my dad is probably dead. I brushed it off like haha im just anxious and went to sleep again. He died at 4am. I knew, i felt it.

And now i miss him so often because he was just misguided and didnt know how to deal with his emotions properly. But he still hurt me so bad and my mom even more from what shes told me. And i dont hate him at all even though i would be so scared of him id be nauseous and id cry before he came home bc i was so scared he woild be mad at me. i love him so much but i see him in my dreams so often and hes always so mean and rude in them and it sucks because i miss his hugs and i want him to hug me again and make jokes with me till im crying and i want to wake up on a saturday and go to tje kitchen to see him watching a russian youtube video about construction or "тор 10 мо��ент" compilations while he eats his megapacked mayo grill sandwich and then he turns the water to boil so i could have tea. I want my dad to calm me down again because he was the only person who could do it at times. I want to be like hey dad im struggling with schoolwork can i just sit next to you and brainstorm out loud until i come up with something and yiu can help me think. Hey dad look im knitting a sock hahah yeah i know im crazy for that haha yeah. I miss him but i dont miss tjat he was so awful all tje time. Why couldnt he just be normal why did he have to be a controlling little freak who wanted everyone to do just as he wanted it to happen. And now wjenever sth happens i always find a way to connect it to my dad without wanting to. I hate it. I dont want to think of him as much because all my thoughts about him are so confusing and complex because of the person he was and it makes me feel worse and more confused and yet also nothing. Im happy my dad is dead because my mom is in a much happier relationship right now and i no longer fear coming home because What If hes in a Bad Mood and therfor walking too loud will make him yell. And then he will claim he didnt. While he clearly did

#moth post #dad thoughts #i need 2 sleep

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anakin-pilled · 1 year ago

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OOOHHH IM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS ANDRA!!!! and HAUNTED???? such a good song choice omgggg the intensity of the song matched the intensity of this chapter 100% ughhhhh i love!!!! i am so sad for MiM to end, but you are doing such a great fucking job at it!! this chapter may be my favorite so far AHHHHHHHHH hugs and kisses for you 🥰💖😮‍💨

Like this, in this light, with a peaceful look on your face, eyelashes casting shadows over your lapis cheeks, your tahni glowing dimly and flickering softly, your lips slightly parted as you breathed in and out, you reminded him a lot of the Vi he used to love

i always love how you are able to perfectly describe a scene using such imagery like i literally feel like i am watching this scene play by play in my head and its because you are just so wonderful at setting the scene and making it translatable to images (i hope that makes sense)

In your dreams, you fight and make up, and he tells you he’s sorry and that it was just a misunderstanding and that he’ll do whatever it takes to win you back

OUCH!!!!!!! i feel like this really portays the hurt vi has for her lost relationship with teyam cause like...if something is haunting you so much that it's appearing in your dreams then you know it's real!!!! imagine being so hurt that your brain literally has to come up with fake scenarios to cope and ease the pain (too relatable actually)

....your ikran still played with each other even mid flight....

NOOO WHY WOULD YOU SAYYY THIS plz its probably so awkward and embarrassing for them when this happens 😭 but also its a sign that they are meant to be...rip oare tho 😭

“Please tell me everyone’s alright. Please.”

“It will all be alright, son. Everything will be alright.”

DAMN NEYTIRI WHY ARE YOU BEING SO VAGUEEE. Neteyam after Neytiri doesn't answer his question AHAHAHAH but also andra im scared because i don't know if this means something bad has happened or not.......

You would make sure he regretted it - you have always been wild and creative, and without him, you now had heaps of time to be both, at the same time, all towards him.

ENSUES THE CHAOS!!!!

“Also… do I get a special reward for beating the Iknimaya in record time, the fastest it’s ever been done? I feel like I’m well on the way to stealing Neteyam’s spot as the next Olo’eykte. Wouldn’t that be just a riot?”

LMFOAFREHGIGHIEGBEHG NOOOOOOOOO

Because while he might have been comfortable with the quiet, you wanted yelling and chaos, to reflect the hurt in your heart that hasn’t diminished even after all this time. You wanted to make him pay for banishing you from his mind and heart, from his life that you used to know so intimately, and you were good at payback, and continued to get better over time.

I LOVE THIS!!!!! Like I think in order for the whole MiM dynamic to work and make the story good...you have to realize just how much of a role Vi has in this hate-filled relationship as well. Like yes, Neteyam started it and was wrong for not communicating. But it's not like Vi is any better because she's also vindictive and petty. It's the both of them, no matter who started what, that are both at fault of continuing the toxic, nasty cycle of revenge and one-upping each other. Much like in life, nothing is black and white and their relationship is an example of this. You can't point fingers even if you wanted to! (but i will point my pinky at Neteyam just a little bit).

Whatever you saw here, and there were some wild things,

VI, YOU LITTLE VOUYOURIST HAAHAHAHA. i cant imagine hating someone so much i would watch their sexacapedes just for ammo 💀

You were just mad that you lost a subject that you knew got under his skin. That’s it. That must be it

SHES DELUSIONAL YOUR HONOR!!! im sure there's no other reason....

“This is for ruining my hiding spot. Enjoy hearing all the girls who don’t recoil at the thought of being in my presence.”

IM FUCKING CRYINGNDKRJGNDJRKGNRKGB HES SO FUCKING MEAN!!!! i'm sorry, but neteyam lowkey ate vi up. he got her ass!!!

“I heard you.”One tear. “That night, the night after the Iknimaya.” Two tears. “I heard you telling grandmother how you want her to be Olo’eykte in my stead. How she deserves it.”

NOOO NOW IM CRYING IN A BAD WAY!!!! LET IT OUT POOKIE!!!!!

That even back then, as nothing more than a child, he knew that she was special. That under other circumstances, she would have, no doubt in his mind, become the next Olo’eykte. That she was born for it, made for it.

LMFOJFOINKEK ANDRA WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS!!!! IM CRYINGGGGG because i did not expect this but also that was a very good twist. Now i cannot wait to see how neteyam and vi get themselves out of this mess he (they) made. I think this is funny and you got me there. Classic miscommunication trope x100 but throw in some blood, revenge, death.

“Have you seen her? Have you seen syä?”

“What do you mean, Lo'ak?”

“She’s gone, bro. She’s not in grandmother’s tent anymore.”

UGHHGIRGIG YOU ALWAYS LEAVE THE CHAPTERS OFF WITH THE MOST JAW DROPPED ENDING I CANT but also i love it because it keeps us waiting more i am insatiable for your writing

𝕄𝕠𝕟𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕀𝕟 𝕄𝕖 | ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕍𝕀: 𝕊𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘'𝕤 𝕄𝕒𝕕𝕖 𝕐𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝔼𝕪𝕖𝕤 𝔾𝕠 ℂ𝕠𝕝𝕕

Pairing: Neteyam x (f)Omaticaya!Reader

synopsis: Even in your state, memories of your past can't help but flood your subconscious, as Neteyam has a conversation with his father that will change the way he's viewed the last seven years of his life.

warnings: 18+ minors DNI, aged-up! Neteyam/Reader, enemies-to-lovers, angst (mentions of violence, battle, blood, death), strong language.

wc: 6.8k words

a/n: this chapter was written to pretty much be a mirror of last chapter, with the same concept of flashbacks vs present time, except this time we get to see Vi's memories from the 7 years they hated each other, which will hopefully provide context for why Neteyam's hatred doesn't only stem from that fateful conversation he overheard, but also from her petty, vindictive actions, that only grew as time went on. i hope you enjoy this chapter, besties (i feel very insecure about it so pls go easy on me, i'm still recovering hahaha) x there's only two chapters left, and i'm already sad about this story coming to an end, but i hope you enjoyed the ride. pls don't forget to leave a comment or a reblog and tell me your thoughts, i loveee to hear from you so much!

na'vi compendium: txepvi - spark, sa'nok - mother, ite - daughter, Olo'eykte - female Olo'eyktan, oare - moon, nawm - great, syä - bitter

: ̗̀➛ previous chapter (x) : ̗̀➛ series masterlist (x) : ̗̀➛ series playlist (x)

You and I walk a fragile line I have known it all this time But I never thought I'd live to see it break

Neteyam hasn’t blinked since the accident, it feels. He definitely hasn't blinked since he did last, when you opened your eyes and then closed them again, never to be opened since. He doesn’t know why. He doesn’t know why it matters so much that he stays so acutely present and aware, so that his eyes are locked onto your sleeping frame, doesn’t know why the thought of falling asleep and missing you, missing your eyes fluttering open or staying shut forever hurts him so beyond reason or words, so beyond anything he’s ever known. So he hasn’t blinked. Everyone else was long gone, including his grandmother, who hurried to the tree of souls to pray for the safe return of her family and the rest of the brave Na’vi warriors who were still fighting in that wretched battle, the one that seemed never-ending, the one that riddled Neteyam with guilt for not taking part in.

“There’s nothing we can do for her now, ma ‘itan. She’s in Eywa’s hands now, we just have to wait and see.”

Neteyam hated those words. With a burning passion. Wait and see. So passive, so out of his control, so… hopeless. And yet here he was. Waiting, to see if you’d ever wake up, to see if his family, his mother and father, his friends, his clan members would survive the night and the challenge that might overtake them without him being there to help or stop it, or even witness it. Seeing, seeing you, powerless and lifeless, just a flicker of the bright spark you've always been, it stirred something in him.

You were so beautiful. He hated himself for realising it, but you were. You always have been, and although so much of your beauty came from the soul that was wild and untamed and too big to be contained inside you, still, you were beautiful. And like this, no usual frown or defiant smirk that you reserved for him, he could focus on your face and realise that you haven’t changed that much in all these years, not as much as he has led himself to believe in time. Like this, in this light, with a peaceful look on your face, eyelashes casting shadows over your lapis cheeks, your tahni glowing dimly and flickering softly, your lips slightly parted as you breathed in and out, you reminded him a lot of the Vi he used to love, the Vi before the ugly fights, and the constant war, before the hurt and the pain, before every day was just another opportunity to see who could hurt the other the most. He always thought you won those, all of those.

“T-tey…”

His musings come to a swift closure as your lips move minutely, air barely getting pushed past them. You were speaking, and he felt himself coming back to life with each sound coming out of your mouth.

“Teyam…”

It's getting dark and it's all too quiet And I can't trust anything now And it's coming over you like it's all a big mistake

“Teyam…”

You wake up in a sweat, like you did most days these days since the Iknimaya, whimpering the name of the boy you used to call your best friend, that you no longer could, for reasons you still couldn’t understand, that you feared more and more you never would. In your dreams, you fight and make up, and he tells you he’s sorry and that it was just a misunderstanding and that he’ll do whatever it takes to win you back, because just like you’ve gotten used to over the last few years, you two will always be bound by the hip and there was nothing that could ever come between you. It was a nice sentiment, but one that never manifested itself to you in any waking moment, as, since your Iknimaya, Neteyam has treated you like a stranger, like an ugly thought he fought his hardest to banish from his mind.

With a deep sigh, you put new clothes on and struggled to eat a few pieces of yovo fruit you picked up off the floor on your last hunt. You missed the food Neytiri made, and although they still brought you nourishment fresh every time they made it, it wasn’t the same without the familial, loving atmosphere you’ve come to rely on all these years, so you barely touched it, choosing instead to give it to the other orphans of the war that hadn't been as fortunate as you. You couldn’t bring yourself to go back to them, no matter how many times they asked. Not when you knew that if you did, you’d be met with a dead stare you couldn’t handle looking into, not without crying, and there’s nothing you hated more than crying in front of people. There’s nothing you hated more than showing weakness, and he didn’t deserve to see you weak. Not anymore.

Days dragged in training without someone to help time pass faster, without someone to brighten up your days, but they did pass. You had to sit next to Neteyam in briefings and in shooting practice, your ikran still played with each other even mid flight until one of you had to will them away from one another so as to avoid an awkward interaction, his presence and spirit was everywhere around you and in you and yet, it’s like you didn’t exist in his life anymore.

"Come over for dinner, kid. It's been weeks. We miss having you."

You didn't know how many more excuses you could come up with to not do as Jake said, although you did suspect they knew about your and Neteyam's fallout. It was hard not to know, when the air shifted whenever you were in each other's presence, when it became icy and glacial and empty like a vast, cold tundra that you couldn't escape no matter how much you tried.

"Jake..."

"I know, you're sick and you don't want to get Tuk sick, you're too tired for food so you're just gonna crash in your tent, you have discovered a new allergy to an ingredient that Neytiri uses that's never been a problem in the years we've known you, but it suddenly is now... still, just come, okay?"

"Look, I promised your dad I'd take care of you. I can't do that if you're gonna push us away. Whatever it is between you and Neteyam... it will pass. You love each other too much for it not to pass. But hiding, moping, walking 'round looking hopeless and aimless - it isn't you. I need you to be the spark I know and love and fight. You've never gone down without a fight - don't start now. Ok?"

“Ma ‘itan.”

Neteyam’s eyes snapped in the direction of the tent flap prying open, his mother’s lean, graceful figure emerging and he immediately rose from his spot to hurry to her side and envelop her in a hug they both desperately needed. She was fine. She was here, and walking and standing… alive. She was alive.

“Sa’nok! Where’s father? What took so long? Is everyone ok? I am -”

“Shh, Neteyam.” His mother was a warrior, always. She was strong and capable and skilled, she was tough and knowledgeable. And yet somehow, beneath it all, she was still soft and kind and caring and empathetic, she knew exactly what her kids always felt, and she knew exactly what to say to make it better. When she her hand found the back of his neck, guiding him into her embrace, his face gently tucked in the crook of her neck, Neteyam found himself sobbing, finally able to let the pent-up emotion surface, all the anger, and sadness and guilt, and relief the last few days have brought washing over him and onto his mother’s shoulders, and she cooed affectionately, not saying a word. She knew there was no need for words, no words could ever made this better.

“She’s dead, mum. Oare’s dead.”

“I know…”

“Please tell me everyone’s alright. Please.”

“It will all be alright, son. Everything will be alright.”

It will be alright… Everything will be alright.

Oh, I'm holding my breath Won't lose you again Something's made your eyes go cold

“Alright, now that you’re back in our tent, where you belong, we thought we’d celebrate both your and Neteyam’s incredible iknimaya! You both did phenomenally, kids, and we are so, so proud of you both. The youngest to ever have done it, too! I mean, I don’t want to brag, but I’m pretty sure it’s all my training regi-“

Jake ceased his monologue as soon as he noticed the dead silence in the tent, and the awkward looks that Neytiri kept shooting him when she discerned both your and Neteyam’s gazes stuck to the floor, a cold look on his face and an uncomfortable one on yours, neither of you in a celebratory mood, neither really ready or willing to relive the Iknimaya and how a beautiful, ethereal day turned into a nightmare in hindsight, plagued forever by the ill-feelings now tugging at both of your hearts.

You stared at Neteyam, as did most of his family, even the young Lo’ak who could not truly understand what was happening, why people were quiet, but could still feel the atmosphere shift, the air thicken, the silence linger and weigh heavily on all the people present in the room. Despite it all, you kept staring, kept hoping that throughout the newfound ice that enveloped the golden aura that he always exuded, that was your home and your light, your biggest question and adventure, your safety net and peace all in one, the memory of that night, so beautiful and far-removed, would bring him back to the boy you loved, the boy you needed, the boy you missed.

He was silent, still, a frown on his face and anger clear as day in his beautiful eyes, that you barely recognised, that you couldn’t believe belonged to Neteyam, your 'teyam. You kept staring and kept staring, until you felt the so-far unflinching sadness and despondency stew and seethe, until it changed and evolved, until you felt the familiar bubbling of anger remove reason or rhyme from your soul, until all you saw in front of your eyes was red, and Neteyam was the one taunting you with the blood-coloured cloth dangled in front of your face. Neteyam wanted this? Wanted to dismiss you and discard you like a toy he outgrew? Fine. You would make sure he regretted it - you have always been wild and creative, and without him, you now had heaps of time to be both, at the same time, all towards him.

“Thank you, Jake. We couldn’t have done without your help and guidance all these years. Thank you for everything you and Neytiri and Mo’at have done for me, and I’m happy to tell you that, despite my momentary lapse in judgement, I am not going anywhere. I want to be here, I want to be part of your family if you want to have me, and I will let nothing stand in the way of that.”

As you talked, you rose from your spot to hug your adoptive parents, and they happily returned the gesture, pulling you tightly against their chests and pecking the top of your head. Lo’ak and Kiri joined enthusiastically and before long, you were suffocating in love and care and familial affection, Neteyam nowhere to be found. You were sad about it, you couldn’t help it, but for the first time in weeks the sadness was second-place, and so you found a small smirk haunting you at the prospect you were hurting him even a small amount - maybe a small fraction to the hurt he’s caused you, but there nonetheless.

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this I thought I had you figured out Something's gone terribly wrong You're all I wanted

"How is she?" Neteyam's eyes were heavier by the second, so tired and spent in light of everything that's transpired, in light of the bustling of crowds outside meeting what remained of the Na'vi forces that fought in a battle that while Neteyam wasn't sure, he suspected took more lives than he'll ever be able to live with. Kiri was quiet as she entered, and Neteyam was grateful for his sister, who stood with him most of the night, who checked in on you while the Tsa'hik was preoccupied with other, more pressing matters.

"The same, I think. She hasn't woken up, I don't think. She hasn't moved."

Kiri walked the length of the tent until she reached you, kneeling by your side and pressing the back of her palm on your forehead. She had something wrapped in a leaf that replaced her hand and Neteyam watched with curious eyes, hoping that by paying special attention to whatever remedy that was, it would work harder and faster, would bring you back screaming and thrashing and cursing him out, because if there's something that he's realised since your accident, it was that anything was better than the deafening silence that he couldn't escape and couldn't imagine living in for a second longer than he had to. Anything was better than this.

"Her fever's not going down. I think whatever it was she scratched herself on while she fell was poisonous. That, combined with the impact of the fall... she's lucky she's alive, Neteyam."

Neteyam couldn't help the shudder that took over his body. He didn't have any hair, the way that humans did, but he imagined if he did, it would all be standing up like blades of grass on the ground, taut and barely-moving in the warm breeze. He shifted slightly so Kiri could perch herself next to him, arms touching as she leaned on him, before placing her head on his shoulder.

"Why are you still here, big brother?"

Neteyam thought about it, until he couldn't anymore, because the thoughts weren't making sense, because they all contradicted each other, because he was tired and heartbroken and distraught, and losing Oare was obviously making him soft and delusional.

"You know you're in love with her, right? Please tell me you realise this, at least now, after all this time, in light of everything that's happened, in light of how you've acted it because of it. It's been so long, Neteyam. So long of us watching you be horrible to each other and hope that one day, you'd both wake up and realise the only reason you're acting like this is because you're too blind to see what's right in front of your eyes."

Neteyam's eyes widened progressively more with each word uttered, until they were so wide it hurt. To hear it out loud, spoken so casually, as if it were a fact, shocked the Sully man. Us? Who else thought this? Who else could possibly be blind enough to perpetuate such disparaging ideas that made Neteyam's skin crawl even at the notion.

"I'm not in love with her, Kiri. I can't be in love with her. After everything she's done... everything I've done... this can't be love. Maybe it was, once. Maybe I loved her once. Maybe I loved her so much I couldn't imagine my life without her." Neteyam sighed, looking at your face, tears pooling in his eyes as early memories of young Vi juxtaposed against later memories of you, so many memories he wanted to forget and banish from his mind, so many cruel, harmful, ugly memories that made up most of his view of you now. "But not anymore."

Kiri rises from her spot with a sigh, patting her brother's head with an exasperated sigh, before she leaves.

"You haven't moved. You haven't slept or eaten, you haven't blinked. Our parents need your help bringing back the injured, the clan needs your help as the future Olo'eyktan, and yet... you haven't moved. I think that says everything. The first step in solving any problem is recognising there is one, brother. The sooner you admit your feelings, the sooner you can work towards fixing your broken relationship."

Stood there and watched you walk away from everything we had But I still mean every word I said to you He will try to take away my pain and he just might make me smile But the whole time I'm wishing he was you instead

Desire burning deep in you was the only thing you felt as Akxo continued to trail kisses on your neck, a string of saliva connecting the purple lovebites that still stung slightly from when he marked you with them just a few minutes ago. With your eyes closed as they were, it was almost easy to imagine you were all alone, just you and this guy you’ve known your whole life but only recently realised had become a man, powerful and strong after just completing his Uniltaron just a few days ago. Despite your imagination, though, you were, in fact, not alone, nor isolated, but in plain view, propped against a tree of the clearing where you all trained in, that still had people working hard to improve on their skills, which is probably what you should be doing. But there was something so innately satisfying about doing this instead, as soon as Jake had to leave and tend to his other Olo’eyktan duties and left you and Neteyam in charge, doing it so he could watch, so he could stew in the bile that was his existence and know there’s nothing he could do to stop it, because he had no leverage over you and no power to hold over your head. Not now, and never again.

Jake had been wrong. Whatever it was that happened between Neteyam and you didn’t pass, not a few months and definitely not now, years later. If anything, it got a lot, lot worse. Because while in the beginning it was uncomfortable silence and cold and unwieldy dejection, it was now fire and blood, it was teeth and claws, it was anger and resentment. You recognised a lot of it came from you. Most of it came from you. Because Jake might have been wrong about some things, but he was right about others. You’ve never gone down without a fight - and if a fight was what Neteyam wanted all this time, a fight was what he was going to get. Because while he might have been comfortable with the quiet, you wanted yelling and chaos, to reflect the hurt in your heart that hasn’t diminished even after all this time. You wanted to make him pay for banishing you from his mind and heart, from his life that you used to know so intimately, and you were good at payback, and continued to get better over time.

“Are you trying to derail this whole fucking training session?” His voice, that you wanted to say hurt your ears, but if you were honest with yourself, it never could, not when it was melodic and beautiful, not when it still haunted your dreams, made Akxo straighten up faster than you could tell him to not bother, and you chuckled, a low and humourless sound that you’ve come to associate with dealing with Neteyam.

“Don’t tell me you can’t ever handle a bunch of 13 year olds, Neteyam. I knew you couldn’t do anything right without me, but still, this is low, even for you.”

“Akxo, I don’t think I’m making myself clear. She may be immune from the Olo’eyktan’s judgement, but you, my friend, are not. I’m sure there’s better ways to spend your days than wasting your breath on her. Trust me, she’s not worth it.”

“Ah, Neteyam, there’s no need to be bitter.” Your smirk only deepened as you ran your hands over your new flame’s abdomen. “One day, you too will find someone who won’t recoil at the thought of being in your presence, but you might need to work a little harder to not be so hard to stomach all the time for that to happen. I can coach you if you want, I mean… it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had to help you, and I’m sure it won’t be the last.”

I know, I know I just know You're not gone, you can't be gone, no

“These are the last of them.” Neteyam tried not to recoil in agony at the sight of so many dead Na’vi and pa’li, so many ikran, so much loss, more than anyone should ever know, but especially their tribe, that has had to come to terms with grief in a way most other tribes aren’t, in a way that’s unnatural and premature and wrong. It was all so wrong.

Kiri was right, he had to help. He had to help not because it was his duty, but because it was right. He couldn’t keep looking at you, not when every second he did, Kiri’s words rang in his ears and made his eardrums pound so hard it felt like they were about to explode, not when every second he spent thinking of you was making him feel a mix of emotions that he didn’t, couldn’t understand, not when the exhaustion from the last few days made him question himself and ponder if his sister was indeed right all along. So Neteyam left you in that tent and put you under lock and key in the back of his mind, and dealt with the immeasurable loss that once more plagued his clan.

“Nawm Sa'nok, why?! My son, my son! There is supposed to be a balance! This isn't balance!” The wails of the woman, whom he’s known ever since he was born, that he can still remember playing with him when she brought his son over his family’s tent, hurt beyond comprehension. The usual peaceful, harmonious laughter and chatter intertwined with the sound of leaves rustling in the wind and soft, distant songs of animals and birds were gone, drowned by the cries and screams by the people that were trying to identify the dead, and figure out if life would ever be the same again.

"Neteyam, ma 'itan. He's gone, he's gone! Oh, Great Mother!"

Neteyam's breath got pushed out of his lungs at the impact of her body crashing into him, that he struggled to keep upright as she was buckling under the weight of her loss. Her son was a good warrior, and a friend. He couldn't come to terms with his death, couldn't understand what was truly going on, his mind almost protecting him from the overwhelming grief by numbing his thoughts, by removing him slightly from the realities clearly displayed to him, that he experienced almost like in a dream.

"It's going to be alright, auntie. We're all going to be alright." His mother's words, a mantra he repeated to himself every second, now the only thing that he could utter, the only thing that didn't feel redundant... even though it was.

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this I thought I had you figured out Something's gone terribly wrong Won't finish what you started

Well, here you were, ready to eat your words, as the curiosity got the better of you and you found yourself sneaking to Neteyam’s new hiding spot, that he didn’t know you knew about, that you found yourself coming to a bit too often to call it nonchalance and yet, you just couldn’t help yourself. It was an itch you had to scratch, seeing what he was doing, who he was with, finding new ammunition for your petty revenge, it was all for research purposes, you always told yourself.

Whatever you saw here, and there were some wild things, you always kept quiet and left without ever being spotted, maintaining your cover and whatever dignity you knew would disappear if your friends found out you were stooping so low. But somehow, right now, watching as Neteyam was whispering sweet nothings in a stupid little healer’s ears, telling her how good she’s taking his cock and watching her eyes roll back in her head, your blood was boiling.

You didn’t know why it was boiling, it’s not like you haven’t seen him fuck girls before, or try to, it’s not like this was a completely unusual occurrence, but it was new just how into it the girl seemed to be. How desperate for his touch, how needy to feel him. Your fingers twisted around a branch so hard it snapped and you ducked as their heads snapped into the direction of the noise. You were just mad that you lost a subject that you knew got under his skin. That’s it. That must be it, not at all because your mind was conjuring all the ways that you should be in that girl’s shoes, and how he should be making you feel this way. No man’s ever made you feel this way. No man’s ever made you cry, the way she was crying, gripping at his back and shoulders so hard his skin was broken and bleeding. You hated him, that’s all. That’s why your blood was boiling.

Well, he wouldn’t get the last word, not if you had anything to do with it. You returned to your spot around an hour later, half happy, half annoyed out of your mind that they were still going at it, and she was still screaming and crying, and he was still whispering praises in her ears, although they did have the decency to change position so at least you couldn’t see much anymore. With a wide smirk on your lips, you waited, until the unmistakable sound of footsteps echoed through the endless green forest.

"Neteyam, are you there?"

Jake sounded angry, and you stifled an evil laugh as you saw them both scramble to untangle themselves from each other and from the floor, the girl's cries no longer of pleasure as she couldn't figure out how to tie her top around her neck anymore.

"Nete-, oh, my fucking God!" English came naturally to Jake, even 20 years later, whenever he was feeling any extreme emotion, and you were happy for the strenuous effort you put into learning it as a child just for this one moment, right here. This was all worth it. "Kole, your mother was looking for you. Can you just- oh, fuck - can you just go and meet her, please?"

"Yes, of course, ma Olo'eyktan."

You were still grinning about the interaction and the ass kicking that followed a couple days later, as you came back to your tent for the night. The smile faded progressively as you neared the entrance, as small whimpers and pleasured groans could be discerned vaguely, coming from behind your tent, a small nook that only you really knew about or frequented, that now was obviously occupied, by a person whose voice you recognised all too well. No way. Sure enough, as you snuck around the tent, a continuation of whatever it was you interupted a couple days ago was well underway, and you bit down a curse, enraged at the way not only did you not, in the end, get the last word, but Neteyam's new hiding spot was just about to ruin whatever remainder of peace and sanity you had left.

When you entered your tent, a small piece of paper with some writing rested on your sleeping mat, yet another human skill Jake insisted on his family to know, that you now regretted.

"This is for ruining my hiding spot. Enjoy hearing all the girls who don't recoil at the thought of being in my presence."

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this I thought I had you figured out Can't breathe whenever you're gone Can't go back, I'm haunted

Neteyam watched as his father entered the tent, a heaviness that he rarely lets people be privy to wearing him down and slouching his shoulders. Neteyam couldn’t imagine what his father was going through, couldn’t imagine how someday, he’ll have to bear this burden and do it well, do it honourably and proudly and still keep a head held high and keep it all together so other people can fall apart around him.

Neteyam had mostly love for his dad - deep, unconditional love that will never falter, not even in the face of adversity, or in the face of the deep seeded resentment that Neteyam still had after the years of torturous training, of pressure put on his very young shoulders, of guilt-tripping and being blamed for his brother’s mistakes, of being pushed aside and replaced with you, the perfect daughter who could do no wrong in his father’s eyes. Even despite all of this, Neteyam loved his dad. And yet, watching him come in, sad and worried sick about you, his lips pursed in a straight line, words on his tongue that Neteyam knew were coming and was terrified of… the love faltered just a little.

“Mo’at said she got poisoned falling off her ikran.”

“Yes. Oare’s dead.”

“I saw her in the line-up.” His father turned his sights from you to his oldest son, sighing as his eyes set on him, anger flashing in his eyes briefly before composing himself.

“What the hell happened out there, Neteyam? We were counting on you. On both of you.”

Neteyam had no answer to that. He’s tried so hard to bury the thoughts, because he knew that if he succumbed to them, the guilt would eat him alive and pick its teeth with what remained of his frail bones. He didn’t think of how this was his fault, your fault, how if these stupid fights, that now seemed meaningless and daft, didn’t occupy so much space and time in both your minds, you would have slept, you would have not been tired and distracted, Oare wouldn’t have felt the nerves and fears emanating from you, and you would’ve done what you do best, inspire some people, kill others, be next to Jake, like you always were, like Neteyam was normally next to his mother, and get it done. The two of you were indispensable to the clan, as much was clear now. And although it wasn't fair, how much pressure there was on both your shoulders, it was the way things were. And now both of you will have to live with the consequences of your actions, will have to find a way to look the people in the eye again, knowing that you directly caused their family’s demise and the clan’s sorrow.

“Do you understand how serious this is, Neteyam? We lost good people today. Good people, strong people, dependable people. And the two people who I counted on the most left us all for dead, to fend for ourselves. This isn’t what I taught you. This isn’t who I raised, Neteyam. Even Lo’ak pulled his weight. We’re going to be reeling from these losses for the rest of our lives, and this has set us back months, and I need you to understand the weight of your actions.”

Another sigh and a frown that aged the Olo’eyktan by a good 10 years was the last sign of disapproval before his attempt to leave Neteyam by himself, but for the first time in his life, Neteyam couldn’t let that happen. He didn’t know whether it was his words, or the continuous battle with you that he’s had to fight for the last 7 years, all years in which he’s felt heartbroken, and resentful, and inadequate, and pushed to the side, and ignored, and worked to the bone for very little appreciation, or the fatigue wearing him down, or the loss of your ikran, or the guilt that’s been gnawing at him long before his father’s contribution, but for the first time in his life, Neteyam’s anger was directed at someone else rather than you.

“Understand the weight of my actions? Do you hear yourself right now? This whole mess, this whole shitshow that I’ve gone through, that we’ve both gone through, it’s all your fault. All of it. This is going to weigh on me just as much as it will weigh on you, and the loss of these people, of Eywa’s children, will haunt me for the rest of my life. Of our lives. So don’t sit there and talk to me about responsibility, and about losing people.” He couldn’t help look at your unconscious form, that more and more felt like your own body was trying to protect you from the sadness that would wait for you when you woke. “I lost the person I loved the most, that was my shelter from the storm, a storm you caused. All you do is push me, and push us, and I’m so fucking tired of it.” a sob is all it took for his father to rush to his side, concern and confusion deeply rooted on his face as it met Neteyam’s, when his hands found his face and rose it to his level.

“What are you talking about, son?”

Neteyam’s chest was heaving with unshed tears as he looked in his father’s eyes through the fractured, refracted lens of the liquid threatening to spill.

“I heard you.” One tear. “That night, the night after the Iknimaya.” Two tears. “I heard you telling grandmother how you want her to be Olo’eykte in my stead. How she deserves it.” Six tears. “I heard you… as you told her Vi would never have me. That she said she would never want to be my mate.” Too many tears to count.

“Oh, Neteyam…”

“I worked so hard, my whole life. I sacrificed more than anybody I know. And I did it all to please you, to live up to you. I did so you’d be proud of me, so you’d love me, and accept me. I did it all so I’d a good leader, a worthy Olo’eyktan, someone the clan can rely on to protect them.

I spent my whole childhood crying and aching, hating my life, wishing I could be anyone else instead, but I thought it would all be worth it one day because you told me as much, and that I have a title to live up to. And then I met Vi, and she changed everything… and I loved her, dad. And in one night you managed to take everything away from me.

Do you have any idea what that did to me? What the next seven years, in which we hated each other and competed for your love and praise, for your attention and affection, did to me? I’m there for everybody all the time. Every day and night, I am here for you, and for mum. I am here for Kiri and Lo’ak and Tuk. I am here for the clan. I am the mighty soldier, the doting brother, the dutiful son, the concerned clan member, the understanding karyu, the unbroken arrow in the quiver of your army.

Do you know there’s not a single day that I don’t hurt, that it doesn’t kill me inside, little by little, without a single soul to talk to, that cares or bothers to listen to my struggles?”

Sometime during that monologue, that Neteyam’s kept in his soul his whole life, he found himself in his father’s embrace, who was quiet and listened, who said nothing and just waited. Neteyam was sobbing in his father’s shoulder now, and he couldn’t find it in him to stop, like a spring that was buried underground with none the wiser until poked in just the right way, with unending streams now able to either fill a dam or flood a village.

“Neteyam… fuck. I’m so sorry, son. I didn’t know. Any of it, I didn’t know. Neteyam… you never said anything. You never brought up that night, and I wish you did, son… I wish you did because if you had, then you would know that those words that you heard… those words weren’t mine, Neteyam.”

There are very few moments where Neteyam feels like his soul has somehow exited his body and he’s experiencing a moment almost like from outside himself, like a stranger looking in. That’s how he felt now, as he could see himself removing his head from his father’s embrace, a dazed and almost uncharacteristic expression trying him.

“What did you say?”

“That night, if I remember correctly… we were talking about how well you did, both of you, in the Iknimaya. We were laughing at the fact you were both late, how I’d have to pretend to be mad and punish you, when in reality I not only expected it, but almost desired it, that you took that day to enjoy yourselves, to feel free of some of the burden I know I’ve placed on you.

I was reminded, seeing her, of her dad. Her dad who asked me to take care of her before he passed. Of the words he told me. That even back then, as nothing more than a child, he knew that she was special. That under other circumstances, she would have, no doubt in his mind, become the next Olo’eykte. That she was born for it, made for it. Those words always echoed in my ears as I watched her grow, and seen for myself the talent that comes so rarely, it seems almost like a fable. That I only ever saw in you. I considered it, making you both leaders at the same time - unheard of, maybe, but you both deserve it, you’re both made for it, and you used to complete each other, like two pieces of a perfectly fitted puzzle. That’s it, son. I would never want to replace you, Neteyam. I would never even think of it. Not only because you are my son, but because you are the greatest person I've ever met. Because there's no one else, there can be no one else.”

Neteyam saw his face drop, his entire body shuddering under the weight of the new information, that changed everything, that he could have known all these years and yet didn’t, that shifted Neteyam’s whole world on its axis yet again and he almost wanted to reach out and console himself, the man that looked as young and scared as a pup lost in the woods, like he used to look all the time before he met you, like he swore to himself he’d never look like again after he lost you. His dad didn’t want to replace him. He never wanted to replace him. What was he supposed to do now, with this momentous information that he never thought he’d get to hear?

“I’m so sorry, son, that you’ve had to bear this weight all by yourself. I’m sorry for my contribution in it, and that I failed to see how I made it all so much harder to stomach. Your mother and I love you so, so much, Neteyam, and we want to be there for you, but, son… you don’t talk to us. You keep everything buried inside. We can’t help what we don’t know. We try our best, and we’re so sorry we failed you… that I failed you. And about Vi… Neteyam, you have to speak with her. You’ve carried this in you for far too long. You need to let it out. Let her explain. Let her give you an answer, or closure.”

“What if she doesn’t wake up?”

Neteyam didn’t know if his dad was saying this more to his son or to himself, but right now, it didn’t matter.

“She will, son. She’ll wake up.”

The only other time Neteyam's left you since the accident was after the talk, the overwhelming urge to wash his face at the nearby river finally too great to be ignored. The water helped a little. It grounded him and nourished him, as much as it could, and Neteyam was slightly taken aback at the way his soul felt just slightly lighter, how his father's words, and the conversation he should have had years ago and didn't, changed so much in his mind. His father was right. Kiri was right. It was time to talk. Years and years of torture and pain, and it was finally time to talk. He just hoped you'd actually be there to listen.

Neteyam was startled by a frenzied Lo'ak, rushing to his side, panting as he put a hand on his chest, trying to catch his breath as he spoke.

"Have you seen her? Have you seen syä?"

"What do you mean, Lo'ak?"

"She's gone, bro. She's not in grandmother's tent anymore."

You and I walk a fragile line I have known it all this time Never ever thought I'd see it break Never thought I'd see it

taglist: @fanboyluvr @theycallmesia @afro-hispwriter @soleilmoon @crazy4books1 @bakugouswaif@randxmthxughts @xreadersstuff @sirezaya @kimberlyshailany-blog @gyuventure @jujudsmyst @kikookii @nxptury @nonniesworld @koing-slvt @bakugouswaif @isnt-itstrange @tpwkforevermore @alahamums @tallulah477 @gknj9495@aquamarine001 @itssomeonereading @yumimak@sweetbread-m@eqgroil @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @juneonhoth @yagirlheree @jackiehollanderr @legendarynoodlebowl @iameatingmyhair @justasimps-blog@hannabanana-09 @xylianasblog @misscaller06 @yeosxxx @myh3artttt @teyamsbitch@musicownsme @i-live-in-a-fantasy-daydream @zoetrope1997 @itsmy-alteregohere @ntymavtr @curlszx88 @maki-z @riatesullironalite @baahsaama @luna-salem @teyamtesuli @koing-slvt @call-me-doll-face @puresirius-things @saturniac (sorry if i missed anyone this list is getting so longgg)

#kendra's reblogs ♡#she is so talented #mooties ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡

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bitchlessdino · 2 years ago

Note

Helllooo, it's been a while since I've last graced your asks with my nasty thoughts 😂 I'm going back to the loml, Joshua, with this ask.

So there's a video of him going around saying "kaya mo yan, baby" and "you can do it, baby". Now the latter message is what I'm so obsess with because of HOW HE SAYS IT.

IMAGINE MEAN JOSHUA. LIKE I KNOW HE'S A GENTLEMAN BUT JUST IMAGINE MEAN JOSHUA.

You're shaking and your mind is no longer in the right place because of the fact that it has been your third time finishing for the night and it seems like Joshua doesn't have any plans on ending it there. You try to close your legs but Joshua uses both of his hands to keep them open. Before he brings his face close to your heat, he meets your eyes and says, "one last round. you can do it, baby."

Pairing: joshua x afab!reader

Genre: smut

Word count: 950

Tags: e2l, perfect joshua, reporter!reader, oral (recieving), mean joshua, drabble

author note: hi im so tired, idk what i wrote, i was in a horny daze

Joshua knows how people see him. He donates to charity, is a spokesperson for his community’s youth, and damn well the most eligible bachelor for anyone’s child. He’s a role model in his community and perfect in bystanders' eyes. There isn’t an apparent thing wrong with him on paper. You thought that at first too, until you realized that facade that is.

You learned quickly that he loves to put on a show. He lets others see a side of him more appealing, family-friendly to put it in simple terms. It was when he got you alone he was someone else entirely different. He’s far from the rumors or what the local news stations report behind closed doors.

You would know being a low-scale town reporter, writing for one of the least popular chronicles around in these parts. Whether it was regarding the local dumpster fire of a diner’s rat infestation, or city hall’s totalitarianism in the works, you’d catch it with a flash of your camera or the scribble of your notepad. This week's latest was Joshua Hong: the town’s golden child. Well, he is not the golden child everyone believes him to be; you found that out rather quickly.

“That can’t be all you got.”

You were panting against the bed frame, forearm over your sweaty forehead and closed eyes in exhaustion, trying to recover from the several hours of exerting yourself in his submission. “S-shua, I can’t.”

“That’s not what you said when you said you’d beat me under any and all circumstances.”

That was your mistake for thinking you’d be right.

You took the first steps in gathering evidence, anything to point in the right direction. You thought you found it until he trailed after it. When you pushed, he pulled. When you took the road less traveled, he followed. He was somehow always a step ahead of you, and you despised him for it. He was playing dirty somehow, you felt it in your gut. He to have heard of your investigation. That meant he had eyes everywhere. It’s what kept him afloat.

“I overheard your convo with your little reporter buddies at Blueberry House Cafe yesterday. Is your pathetic little column embarrassing enough?”

He confronted your lurking finally at some point, given you took your time and energy to make it all the way to his house in doing so, and willingly let you inside strange enough. You clutch the messenger on your shoulder, staring at him straight on, breaking a bad sweat. He returns your glare, not so much of resentment or disdain, but almost one of interest.

You scoffed. “Yeah, then you also heard I hate your fucking guts.”

Being caught in the act didn't mean you’d back down, it mean you had to push harder.

“Well,” he trods to you methodically, staring down at you with unadulterated confidence, and leveling your gazes as he presses you up against the wall behind you. His breath was warm and candy apple scented, too tempting to ignore, “I’m about to rearrange your guts right now.”

You take a beat, falling back on the wall with matching the aloofness he exudes. “Is that a threat or a promise?”

“Anything as long as it gets you begging for my mercy.” He deeply chuckles under his breath.

You should’ve been scared by the fact you were so close, infamous murderer or sex fiend, he could be on the news for something nefarious thanks to you. However, you succumb to your own internally hormonal desires, taking on the challenge of the very man you promise to expose.

“Then I’ll have it be under any and all circumstances that I’ll overcome it. Overcome you.”

“Baby…Cumming is all that you’ll be doing.”

And here you were eating your words and swallowing down his.

The man eats like a common animal, lapping up every drop in sight, coating his thick and wet tongue in your arousal skillfully. It made you clench your legs in desperation, begging for a minute of rest after he unwillingly retracts himself from you, his name burning on your tongue. He takes all the strength of his arms to pry you open, his girthy fingers and palms on either thigh to pull you apart.

Your throat runs dry, digging the back of your head into his pillows. “Three times,” you’d repeat.

“And what’s one more? Or two? Or five?” he chuckles to himself.

You whine, having hardly the energy to resist his advances. He grips you still, his face so close to your tired heat, that he basks in its familiarity, your release still fresh and seeping out of you like ambrosia. He meets your eyes, insatiably hungry.

"One last round. You can do it, baby."

Before you can fight it on its own last time, his tongue hits the taste of your warmth once more, dragging it in stripes, and sucking down your clit like he would a straw. Your fatigue eyes flutter and your voice soon embarrassingly relentless, moaning from the top of your lungs. His lips then attach to your core, blurring the boundaries of his mouth and your pussy, ultimately becoming one.

You wretchedly squirm in the process of your overstimulation, your stomach practically churning like a hot pot while your heart pounded in your ears. He loops his arms around your legs, and squeezes your thighs between his biceps, digging his tongue deep and flicking faster inside you. His ears perk at your violent groans, languidly moving his mouth to see how much louder you can really get, getting you to regret ever doubting him, ever underestimating.

“Have..mercy…” You gasp.

“That’s right,” He whispers tauntingly in your heat, “You’re at my mercy.”

#joshua smut #hong jisoo smut #seventeen smut #hong joshua smut #seventeen joshua #seventeen #joshua hong #hong joshua #seventeen fanfic #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #seventeen jisoo #seventeen x y/n #seventeen x you #seventeen x reader #hong joshua x reader

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ziaron · 2 years ago

Note

woah hi ok UMMMMMMFHSKXNXKSB (this is my first request so excuse how bad i’ll be at explaining this to you)

ive always had this idea about someone a person is dating ending up being a yandere, like they really wanna protect you to the point they kidnap you and treat you like a goddess like that and just hurts everyone that interferes? or if they see someone that’s getting closer than they’d like or they’re jealous they’d just break their leg and go “oh! they fell down the stairs yesterday :(.. i helped them, it was so sad!”

also what if they’re like kinda scary but try to be nicer around you because to them you’re like an absolute angel or goddess

I MEAN YOU SAID YOU WANT A REASON TO WRITE SO I GAVE YA ONE

also idk if u do the anon thing where they have a name i completely forgot but if u do i really like oranges so 🤭🤭 maybe i could be orange anon… OKAY THATS JUST ME BEING AN IDIOT LMFAO

Loved orange anon xDD --- 🍊🍊🍊

I'm going to write more, i just am a bit burnt at the moment

Ok but in all seriousness im willing to regress into my feral writer form to satiate your needs ♡♡♡ (P.s. Lyo is read like Leo)

cw: Yandere behavior, manipulation, physical assult (Not towards reader), threats, idolization, stalking

'No relationship is perfect- no one is perfect.' you keep repeating to yourself.

What kills you is, for the most part, he is perfect. You've truly never felt this amount of love, tenderness or care in your entire life. So what if his eyes widen just at the sight of you enter a room- like he was meeting a deity of some kind. Isn't it wrong to ask less of him? Of a man so utterly devoted to you?

"What are you thinking about, angel?" Lyo's concerned eyes stare daggers into yours, waiting patiently for your reply.

"What am I-? Oh... nothing." After you speak there's nothing but silence for a minute or two

"It's just that-... Well... I know something is wrong so- can you just tell me so I can fix it?" He leans in as you quickly pull away, last time you let him 'fix' an issue between you and someone else your friend of two years sustained some pretty nasty bruises, bruises way too specifically placed to have been caused by a tumble in the dirt.

You let it slide then- 'just once' you thought. Since your so called friend had turned into a real jackass after having a few too many, and refused to take no for an answer. You didn't even bother to start a fight even when you knew Lyo was lying to your face about just walking him home, the quick glimpse of fresh scratches on his knuckles where all the proof you needed at the time.

But then there was that 'accident' on the staircase, the scared glances that surround him, the constant hovering, and the multiple monologs about how deeply he loves you, how he will always protect you; how you were like a divine being, taking pity on the likes of him-.

'He doesn't mean to- he doesn't know he's wearing me down... He doesn't mean to.'

"Please- just let me handle it myself. I'll be alright." you give him a reassuring glance before an abrupt

SLAM

As his hand meets the table. Instantly, you look at him with a mixture of shock, confusion and fear.

"I'm sorry! I'm so-so sorry! I didn't mean to! I just-!" Lyo's posture shrinks- like he's trying to make himself look as non-threatening as possible after seeing the look on your face.

You'd never seen him like that before. He was always incredibly calm with you-

"-please dont be mad at me, angel!" He reaches to cup your face in his hands "I just want to protect you... that's all...... GODDAMN IT! This is all his fault! YOU KNOW THAT?!"

Your mouth is still agape as you watch him unravel. 'Did he want to hit me?' 'Was he going to hit me?' were the only thoughts going through your head as you watched him pace.

Finally after a minute you blurt out

"I can't do this anymore. For a second there- I genuinely thought you might hurt me. I can't do this, I'm sorry, I need to leave."

He freezes.

"Don't." Lyo's voice came out as half threatening, half pleading. Like he was dreading what he would have to do next.

"I need you. Please- I just want to protect you! You know I would never hurt you! Ever! I just got a little frustrated! That's all! Don't be stupid, you know I'd never ever hurt you! I'D NEVER HURT YOU!?! WHY WOULD YOU EVEN THINK THAT?! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I-"

"Stop!", "I made my decision."

"So what? Mine doesn't matter then? What am i supposed to do without you? I have nothing without you. You aren't just the greatest thing in my life- you- you are my life!" Desperation clang to every word Lyo spoke, making your heart ache.

He could tell you were caving, as pools began to cloud your eyes you croak out a pitiful "ok..." before feeling his warm embrace.

Lyo gently pets your head, holding you tightly for a good few minutes while you cry. Knowing that just like a moth drawn to flame, He has you exactly where he wants you, no- needs you.

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twinkleimagines · 3 years ago

Text

frenemies

summary: You catch feelings for your nemesis Rafe Cameron and notice his change of how he started interacting with you, so you begin and hoping he feels the same, so you decide to take the risk to confront him and see what his true intentions are.

5.5k words

LONG!

Part two, part 3 , part four (final)

Warning: Language, smut, physical and verbal fighting.

Rafe Cameron.

The most loved and also the most hated Kook in the OBX.

You and your pogue friends despised this guy, or at least you were suppose to.

But for some reason, between all the bickering you two had done over the summer, you've managed to fall for him.

I know- what the fuck.

It blew your mind too. He was never nice. Always making fun of the Pogues, practically humiliating you all every chance he got. You guys were nothing but broke thieves who took whatever you wanted no matter who it hurt. You guys were scum, the dirt on the bottom of his shoe, a bunch of nobody's that will never make it anywhere in life.

Which is obviously not true, but to Rafe - that's what you ‘dirty Pogues’ were.

You didn’t care for the name calling though. You honestly could say the same thing about the Kooks. They cheat their way into life, never have to work for anything , always have mommy and daddy's money to get them through any obstacle. But you knew not all Kooks were like that. Take your best friend Kiara for example. She's a 'kook' by the book, but by the streets she’s a Full Pogue at heart.

but for some reason though, Rafe would spend most his time trying to find a way to harass the shit out of you specifically. He could have a million Pogues around him yet he always found his way through the crowd to have some conversation with you even if it was to drag your name through the mud.

You first realized the feelings you had for Rafe when you began craving his presence.

It was the annual bonfire that you and your friends had went to , a place where all teens and young adults mixed from all clicks. Tourists, Pogues, and even Kooks. Everyone was there.

You stood next to the fire with JJ and Pope, two of your closest friends as the night grew louder, more people filling in. You watched the crowds as the piled up on the sand, but your eyes roamed for Rafe himself. You were almost mad at yourself for actively searching for him. And it wasn’t even like you were looking for him so you could avoid him, but searching so you could see him and hopefully grab his attention.

You continuously questioned yourself as to Why you were looking for this jerk off to begin with. All he was going to do was put you down and try to humiliate you in front of all of your friends.

But for some reason, when your eyes landed on that tall brown headed boy, his hair for once not greased back, a wide grin on his face as he wore a black t-shirt and a red cup in his hand- your heart fluttered. You began to grin slightly, seeing him in the distance.

Despite how much of an ass hole he was, Rafe was unbelievably hot. He was toned, Tall, jaw line so sharp it could probably cut you and you could get lost in those blue eyes of his. It excited you so much when he would give you attention. Even the negative attention. At this point you just enjoyed looking at him and hearing your name flow out of his mouth.

"earth to Y/n" JJ spoke out stepping out in front of you blocking your view to Rafe, and ultimately bringing you out of your trance.

“huh” you responded dumbfounded .

“Pope thinks I’m stupid for eating food with mold on it” JJ said throwing his hands up, you grin as you watched the blonde boy try to seriously defend his theory. Pope’s eyes widened throwing his hands up as well, looking towards you for agreement.

“It’s a Fungi bro! nothing good comes from Eating mold!” Pope argued back. JJ shook his head, disagreeing with Pope’s statement .

“dude, mold is good for you ok it’s just a natural organism “ He stated, dropping his hands down to his sides.

“You’re fucking nasty” You laughed out before pushing onto JJ’s shoulder. You hadn’t realized it yet, but your laugh caught a certain boy’s attention. the moment Rafe heard that familiar tune, his head turned to your direction, his eyes focused on you as you threw your head back with laughter.

“Well well well if it isn’t Ms. Sarah Cameron “ JJ spoke as he walked up towards one of your best friend, John B, and Rafe’s younger sister, Sarah. They both looked in your direction taking a few steps away from each other as if it wasn’t obvious that they were talking.

You didn’t hate Sarah per-say, but one time she did make out with your ex boyfriend while at a party. She claimed he told her he was single and she was just looking for a good night but Sarah was known for always wanting attention so you were doubtful on the fact that she was ‘unaware’ that he was your boyfriend.

You were the only one who knew John B’s crush on Sarah. He had started working for her father after his father went missing, and you were the only one who had caught on to his different approach when Sarah was ever mentioned, or how his cheeks would go slightly red when she would walk by. You didn’t blame him, the Cameron siblings were fucking hot.

“Hi JJ’ Sarah said with a grin. You stood to the side of Pope, looking around for Kiara, only to find her sat with a group of more Pogues talking their heads off.

JJ began trying to include Sarah into his previous ‘mold is good for you’ argument while your focus drifted off, your eyes roaming the crowd once again.

You managed to look back over to where you had first saw Rafe standing, only this time he was no where to be found.

“sarah baby c’mon” you heard someone say. You looked over, Your eyes widening to see Rafe and Topper standing in front of you next to Sarah. You knew this wasn’t a group that needed to be mixed, but seeing Rafe excited you. Your eyes landed on his, your heart beginning to flutter. You hated the fact that you two were enemies. It sucked looking at someone the way you did, knowing they were only looking back at you with hatred and pure disgust. At least you thought.

“Oh c’mon Topper can’t the girl just have a little fun?” JJ laughed out, his alcohol clearly running through his veins.

“You Pogues don’t know the meaning of fun JJ” Topper laughed out. You rolled your eyes shaking your head.

“Go the fuck on Topper “ you spat out, your eyes lifting some towards Rafe before going back to Topper. You could feel yourself kicking up a sweat, maybe from the alcohol , or maybe from the fact that Rafe’s eyes were already on yours when you looked at him. He even had a smirk plastered on his face, probably from the fact he gets off on the fighting.

“Oooohhh someone’s ballsy tonight huh?” Topper laughed bringing the attention to you.

“No im just sick and tired of you stuck up kooks always trying to ruin a good time” You scoffed out, crossing your arms over chest.

“Y/n you wouldn’t know the meaning of a good time if it slapped you in the face alright?” Rafe said. He furrowed his brows together when he realized a smirk rising on your face once you looked over at him. He didn’t know what to think considering the other times you were giving him an ‘ eat shit ‘ look, but this time it was almost as if you were happy he was commenting towards you.

“Oh right, having random hook ups and snorting a line of coke every night is a good time huh Rafe?” You scoffed out sarcastly. “ yeah I think I’ll pass” You said with a roll of your eyes.

“ Listen JJ you and your little bitch need to just go back to the cut where you came from-“ you glanced at Rafe, only to see him looking at Topper with anger as if he was upset at him for calling you that , but before you could further analyze his expression, JJ pushed against Topper’s chest, slinging Topper backwards.

“you watch your mouth” JJ spat out pointing his finger towards Topper’s face. John B quickly stepped in , pulling JJ back away from Topper who was now laughing like an idiot, excited for the action that he thought was about to happen.

“Yeah go ahead Johnny boy go ahead and play dad “ Topper spat out as John B continued practically dragging JJ away from the group. “just don’t go abandoning him like your dad did ” He yelled out. Your mouth flew open in shock, seeing John B stop in his tracks but before he could even respond, your hand slapped straight across Topper’s cheek, causing his head to bounce side ways.

“go suck on your moms tits some more you fucking prick” You scowled before turning on your heals, following your friends. You didn’t even bother to stick around for anymore commentary, your only goal at this point was getting your friends the hell away from here before all hell broke loose.

“never fails man” you heard JJ screamed out in anger as you made it to the parking lot all while Pope continued trying to hush them as they stood next to the twinkie.

“JJ chill!” Pope yelled out as he tried pushing JJ into the Volkswagen but to no avail.

“no man they always get to do and say whatever the hell they want and never get any repercussions for it !” he exclaimed.

He wasn’t wrong, they really did. And if the Pogues fought back they were deemed bad and out of control. You sighed heavily as you watched JJ try to calm himself down, only to realize you had left your phone on the Log you were originally sitting at by the fire.

“Fuck I’ll be right back” You stated, only for your arm to get grabbed by John B.

“No don’t go back there” He instructed but you shook your head.

“I’ll be fine I just left my phone. “ You exclaimed before making your way back down towards the crowd of people.

“Xcuse’ me “ you mumbled as you brushed past people, making your way to the fire.

“Y/n what happened?” Kiara asked popping up from the side, placing her hand on your shoulder.

“I’ll explain later , meet you at the twinkie ok? go calm JJ down” You responded, pointing behind you with your thumb towards the van. She rolled her eyes, realizing it was a fight that had happened before turning around, making her way to your friends.

“Just can’t stay away can you?” You heard from behind you. You turn around to see none other than Rafe himself standing proudly. You rolled your eyes before turning back around, walking towards the fire once again. Despite you usually being excited to see him, tonight really put things into perspective for you.

You really were just a ‘dirty pogue’ to these guys, nothing more. There was no point to continue entertaining the thought of anything ever happening between the two of you. You were enemies, and that was all you’d ever be.

“I just came to get something Rafe go away” You huffed out.

“Oh you mean this?” He yelled out , making you stop in your track. You turned around to see Rafe holding your phone up, a wide grin plastered across his face.

“Give me that” you demanded, reaching your hand out, but Rafe pulled back, pulling it out of your reach.

“Rafe!” You yelled out with anger. “Give me my fucking phone dude” You spat out , reaching out again.

“Well what’s in it for me?” he asked , that smirk still obvious on his face.

“Rafe , please” You sighed out, dropping your shoulders slowly giving up. Between the alcohol and it being so late, you didn’t have any energy in you at this point to argue and you were just ready to go home and crash. Rafe noticed the body change in you, his grin falling from his face.

“I’m sorry” he said softly as he held out your phone to you. You were shocked. Rafe apologizing? Nobody but his father had ever heard those words coming from him so for him to say this to you really took you by surprise.

You slowly took the phone from him, your brows furrowed together in confusion.

“uhm,” you said as you pulled your arm back towards yourself. “thanks” you mumbled before turning on your heels making your way back to your friends.

“Y/n stop arguing and just do it!” Your mom yelled at you as she pushed the cleaing cart your way. You had to work with your mom today at the country club unfortunately and you were not even the slightest bit happy about it. She needed help and ‘You teenagers don’t do anything for yourselves’ as she would say, so you were stuck cleaning the floors while she did whatever it is that she does.

“Okay!” you huffed out as you picked up the broom off of the cart, aggressively beginning to sweep against the floor. You rolled your eyes as she mumbled something else to you before walking away, leaving you to clean the room alone.

It wasn’t long after that you heard some familiar voices walking down the hall way towards the room you were in. It most definitely sounded like the horrible three, Topper, Kelce and Rafe. You quickly turned your back towards the door, hoping none of them would notice you since you were alone and you against 3 just didn’t sound like a good time. You continued sweeping as you heard the group laughing as they passed the room you were in, not even paying you no mind. You sighed with relief as you realized they hadn’t noticed you and continued back to sweeping the floors.

“Hey” you heard from behind you. You jumped up gasping loudly as you turned around quickly, only to see Rafe himself standing there .

“God – fuck Rafe you scared the shit out of me. “ You breathed out, your hand over your chest as you tried to calm your heart beat down.

“sorry” he responded. There was that word again that didn’t exist in Rafe’s dictionary. You caught yourself staring before you quickly snapped yourself out of your trance, placing your hand on your hip.

“What do you want Rafe?” You scoffed out. He smirked before walking over to one of the Desks that sat in the room. You watched as he sat down on the edge, grinning as he stared over at you.

“ Never seen you here before.” He stated. You rolled your eyes before you propped your elbow up on your broom, sighing heavily.

“my mom works here. I’m just helping” You exclaimed, not that it was any of his business anyway.

“Huh” He responded nodding his head. He kept quiet once again, leaving the room silent and you beyond confused. You eventually shook your head at him, indicating for him to continue, but he didn’t.

“Look Rafe “ you started, standing yourself up straight. “I have to get back to work so unless you’re here for something important, you can go the fuck on” you finished. Rafe hopped off the edge of the desk, taking a few steps towards you , his body now hovering over yours. You began to feel your heart pound again, this time from the nerves as he stood so close to you. The smell of his cologne, grass and sweat from his Golfing lingering in your nose. you felt your hands begin getting clammy as you tried to hold your composer, your breath hitched in the back of your throat.

Rafe slowly lifted his hands, placing it under your chin, his blue eyes focused on yours. You didn’t know what to do at this point. You’ve had one on one Arguments with rafe before but none where he stood this close, and this quiet with you.

“Rafe” You breathed out as he lifted your chin, your face close together. He grinned once again, leaning in closer to you.

“You’re so beautiful” He said softly. You stared back into his blue eyes for a second before leaning in slightly. You were taken back though as he let go of your face , taking a step back and putting his hands in his pockets.

“ see ya” He responded calmy before walking back out of the room, following back to his friends.

You stood in shock, confused by Rafes actions. You were for sure positive that he was going to kiss you but he didn’t.

“what the fuck?” you mumbled before shaking your head in confusion at Rafe’s actions. You sighed heavily before sweeping your broom across the floor again, trying to regain your compose.

Most of your day went on like normal. You finished work with your mom, your mind only focused on your brief conversation you had with Rafe earlier.

It sucked because you had feelings towards Rafe, and you couldn’t tell if you were overthinking his actions or if he actually was in to you as well.

You had come to a conclusion though- it was one of two options. He was either fucking with you, or he wanted to fuck you. And you were determined to find out by tonight.

“Here goes nothing” You sighed to yourself as you stood outside TannyHill, the outside lights lighting up the big white house. You quickly jumped over the concrete fence, your feet landing in the wet grass.

Your eyes roamed the balcony, trying to remember which area you had seen Rafe standing at before. You bit your bottom lip as you concentrated, only to see Rafe himself walk by one of the windows.

“gotcha” You spoke softly before crouching down some, doing a quick jog across the field in hopes no one would see you.

You quickly managed to climb your way up the house onto the balcony you had just recently seen Rafe at. This was one of the pro’s of being a Pogue. You guys were very athletic and could always find your way to anything no matter the obstacles. You stood catching your breath as your feet finally landed on the wooden floor, the area barely lit by the light from the windows.

“What the fuck am I doing?” You said to yourself as you stood in the dark outside of what looked to be Rafe’s bedroom. You ran your hands through your hair, turning back around to face the field.

“What the fuck am I doing?” you said to yourself again as you began pacing. This is Rafe we’re talking about. Of course this man is just fucking with you. He’s been nothing but a dick to you and your friends for years. why in God’s name would he want you now? You knew you weren’t’ ugly. You were in shape, had decent hair (Even though you probably smelt like sweat sometimes because of how much you spent outside with the gang) But for the most part you cleaned up well.

Plenty of guys wanted you- but you looked nothing like any of the rich girls Rafe hooked up with. Why would he ever want you? It was clear that he was only acting this way towards you so him and his friends could have a good laugh later.

You shook your head in disbelief that you even had the balls to climb this guys house and actually think you could even ask him if he was interested in you. You began to climb back over before you heard a door open. You froze instantly, hoping they wouldn’t see you in the dark but that was just wishful thinking.

“Y/n?” You heard someone say. You mumbled a ‘ fuck’ as you recognized the voice to be Rafe.

“Uhm” You replied awkwardly as you climbed down, turning towards him to face him.

“Care to explain?” He asked throwing his hand up in your direction.

“Uhh” You said awkwardly as you ran your hand through your hair before placing them down your side.

“Y/n what the fuck are you doing climbing up my house at fucking 11 at night” he spat out. You flinched slightly at the harsh tone of his voice, your eyes roaming everywhere but his face , afraid to look at him in humiliation.

“okay so” you started, looking down at your feet. You stood for a second, wondering how you were going to explain yourself without sounding like ta total creep.

“Alight fuck it. “ you breathed out, looking up at Rafe. “You’ve been acting weird towards me, and being all like nice and flirty one minute and a complete ass the next and like – I just need clarification “ You exclaimed before you took in a deep breath, staring at Rafe as you waited for a response. You bit your bottom lip as he continued staring at you with a blank expression.

“Well?” You repeated, but he stayed quiet. You rolled your eyes, annoyed with the mind games he continued to play. “Rafe what is it? You like me or are you like fucking with me?” You spat out in frustration.

He finally changed his expression, this time a cocky smirk forming on his face. He reached out, grabbing one of your hands before walking backwards, leading you to follow him into his bedroom.

“uhh Rafe?” You questioned, confusion written all over your face as his eyes continued staring into yours.

“I’m not explaining myself” He finally spoke, his hair draped over his eyes as he looked down at you. You scrunched your face up as he reached behind you, closing the patio door. He chuckled slightly at your confusion before taking a step back away from you. “I’m just gonna show you” He exclaimed before pulling against your arm, leading you towards the bed before pushing against your shoulder, making you flop down. Your eyes widened as he walked over towards you, a smirk never leaving his face as his hand reached up, pushing away the stray hair in your face.

“You know, I’ve wanted to fuck you for quite sometime” He stated, leaning forward. “I mean look at you,-“ his eyes looked down and then back up your body, landing back onto your eyes, “You’re hot as fuck” He responded. You didn’t have a clue on what to say, so you continued in the same spot , sitting on his bed propped up on your hands behind you.

“You know for a pogue,” He finished, chucking as you rolled your eyes at his comment.

“Why didn’t you say anything ?” You finally spoke, looking up at him through your lashes. His cocky smirk left his face, only to return shortly after.

“Had to make sure the feelings mutual.” He replied , standing back up straight.

“and Who said it was?” You asked , trying to build your confidence back up. Rafe’s smirk widened before he let out a chuckle, his finger pointed out towards the balcony you were just climbing a few minutes ago.

“You did” he replied . you lowered your head some without responding, knowing he wasn’t wrong. HE stared down at you for a few seconds before he leaned in, the tip of his nose touching yours.

“Rafe” You breathed out as he stayed teasingly close.

“Hm” he hummed, not moving his face.

“Just fucking kiss me already” You demanded. Rafe happily obliged, his lips colliding with yours. Your hands immediately made their way to the back of his head, tugging on his hair.

“You wanna lay down for me ?” He asked after a few minutes of your tongues fighting for dominance. You didn’t respond other than nodding before you slowly laid yourself down, your eyes not leaving Rafe’s. Rafe grinned before unbuttoning your shorts, tugging on them. You lifted your hips up from the bed, helping him slide your shorts down as your teeth clamped down around your bottom lip. He stared at your hot pink panties, seeing the darkened area as you were already soaked.

“Soaking wet and I haven’t even touched you” He indicated. You felt heat rise to your cheeks as attempted to lower your head in embarrassment even though he could see you. Your mouth flew open as Rafe leaned down, pressing open-mouthed kisses against your damp panties, applying friction against your clit. You moaned out, leaning your head back as he placed the palm of his hand against you, rubbing up and down at a slow pace.

“Does that feel good?” He asked, his voice low and deep. You bit your bottom lip before nodding your head. Rafe grinned before he tugged on your panties, pulling them down to your ankles.

“Spread your legs open baby” He demanded , his voice calming but deep and intimidating.

You grinned before slowly spreading them open, his eyes focused on your heated core the whole time.

You laid your back flat against his bed as he got down on his knees, pulling you by your hips down to the edge of the bed, your bottom hanging off directly across his face .

“Rafe” You moaned out as you felt his warm tongue glide along your slit, his tongue stopping against your clit before he enclosed his lips, sucking slightly. He wiggled his tongue back and forth as his inserted his two index fingers into you, curving upwards. You gripped your hands against his navy blue sheets, gasping loudly as his fingers hit against your g-spot, sending tingling feelings through your body.

Rafe took one of his hands and trailed it up your stomach under your crop top, his hand groping around breasts.

You continued moaning loudly as his finger tips swirled around your nipples while his other hand continued moving rapidly against you, his eyes looking up at you in admiration.

Rafe lifted himself up, his face close to yours as his fingers continued moving inside you.

Y/n” he called out softly causing you to open your eyed and look over at him.

He placed his lips against yours as he slowly grinded himself against your side, pushing his rock hard shaft against you.

“You wanna do this?” He breathed out as he looked down at you, the pace of his fingers slowing down. You nodded looking up at him, your heart nearly pounding out of your chest.

“Yes Rafe” you practically whined out. Rafe moved himself to where he was hovering over you, his lips placed against your neck as he pulled his joggers down some, his member popping against his abs. You breathed out deeply as you watched him line himself up before slowly sliding himself in.

“ fuck” He groaned out as he felt your walls wrap tightly against him. Rafe was not only long, but he was thick all the way around, filling you more than anyone had ever done before. You placed your arms around his neck, holding him close as he began moving his hips against you.

The room was silent, only the sounds of your deep breathing and small groaning from Rafe as he continued rocking his hips in you at a steady pace, one hand placed above your head as the other gripped tightly under your thigh to hold your leg up.

“Rafe go harder” You pleaded. Rafe instead stopped his movements completely before rolling you over onto your stomach. He pulled slightly against your hips causing your bottom to stick up in the air as your face was pressed into the bed.

You gasped loudly as Rafe inserted himself into you again from behind, the new position giving him access to going deeper in you, which was exactly what he did. You felt his hand land on the back of your head, pressing you deeper into the bed as he began grinding his hips deep into you. He began slow at first but then began giving you exactly what you wanted , slamming himself into you over and over again.

At this point the pleasure was overwhelming and you couldn’t hold the moaning in as he continued rocking his hips into you, the sound of skin slapping echoing the room.

“Fuck im gonna cum” Rafe groaned out deeply in your ear, the feeling of your tight warm walls around him bringing him close to his own climax. He began placing sloppy kisses on your back, his pace speeding up. You arched your back feeling yourself clench around him as you orgasmed, your clit pulsing. You whined out, tugging on his sheets as Rafe continued to pound into you, riding out your high.

“Fuck y/n “ Rafe groaned out as he quickly pulled out, pumping himself off shooting his load on your back.

You both stayed in the same position for a few more minutes as you tried catching your breath before Rafe grabbed a napkin from his nightstand, wiping your back off.

You rolled over, laying on your back as Rafe put his bottoms back On before looking back over at you out of breath. You grinned as your eyes roamed his glistening body, his abs very prominent and his hair stuck to his forehead from sweat.

“ You should’ve definitely came to me sooner” you finally spoke out with a giggle. He sat down on the edge if the bed chuckling slightly.

“Yeah, that was nice. “ He responded. The room became silent, you both just sitting awkwardly while you laid on his bed still naked. After a moment of silence, you finally sat up, pulling his top sheet with you while getting up off the bed.

“Soo” You said awkwardly as you wrapped the sheet over your sweaty body.

“you can use the front door ” He responded looking up at you. You almost wanted to slap him at this point, realizing he was indicating for you to leave. You scoffed while rolling your eyes before turning away, picking your clothing up off the floor.

“What?” He asked as he continued sitting on the edge of the bed, noticing you aggressively picking your clothes up in anger.

“Nothing Rafe” you mumbled as you pulled your shorts back up up your legs, turning your back towards him.

“Hey” He responded standing up, grabbing your hand after you pulled your top over your head.

“What” You replied back, looking up at him with anger.

“I wasn’t saying you had to leave now I was just saying you didn’t have to climb down the house again” He exclaimed. You stood for a second before shaking your head.

“I should go anyways, it’s late” You replied before walking over towards your shoes, sliding them on over you feet. “but don’t worry I’ll take the balcony so no one sees me”. Rafe wanted to reply to your comment but instead he stayed quiet as he watched you make your way back to his balcony before stopping, leaving your hand on the doorknob.

“Uhm” You spoke , causing him to look up at you. “I’ll see you later?” You stated, more like questioned just for your own clarification. He grinned before nodding his head, walking towards you. He walked you out to the balcony, helping you over the edge before watching you climb down to the ground to make sure you made it down safely.

You did a light jog back towards the concrete wall before turning around, looking up at the balcony. You grinned when you saw him still standing there watching you. You gave him a wave before turning on your feet, climbing back over the fence and going home.

***

Sorry I’ve been incognito for a while but ya girl is back 🥲

Also,

✨As always feedback, like, and a reblog is always appreciated ! ✨

Masterlist

#drew starkey #obx #drew starkey fanfiction #rafe cameron fanfiction #drew starkey imagine #rafe cameron imagine #smut #obx fiction #drew starkey dirty imagine #drew starkey smut #rafe cameron dirty imagine #Rafe Cameron dirty fix #Rafe Cameron smut #obx smut #obx dirty imagine #obx dirty fic

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kirieshhhka003 · 3 years ago

Text

Pairing: La Squadra x GN! Reader

Warnings: language

La Squadra harem

Risotto Nero

Risotto, as a leader of the hitman squad, immediately notices the change of atmosphere among La Squadra once Y/n appears. Albino, to his huge dismay, understands that he’s not the only one who’s developed feelings for Y/n. Albino knows every member’s habits and usual behavior, capo is the first one of all hitmen who figures out that everyone is his rival now (but only when it comes to Y/n, he’s still their leader and he respects every member equally)

Risotto is more of a father figure to Y/n. He warms up to you shortly, pampering you with his attention and genuine care, always being there for you. You’re hungry? The two of you are going to the nearest cafe for you to have a proper meal and Capo won’t take “no” as an answer. You’re stressed and something messes with your pretty head? What a poor thing, come here, Risotto is always ready to listen. Others immediately catch on the change of Capo’s treatment, every day it becomes even more obvious that he has a huge soft spot for Y/n

Least favorite rival: Melone. Risotto hates how smooth purple-haired is around you, how he is open with his flirting, how sincere all of his words sound. Nero wishes he had at least half of sans gêne Melone has. He’s a Capo and he has a reputation to uphold, but behind closed doors Risotto has tried flirting with Y/n and it was so so clumsy and awkward, it’s just… not his style

Prosciutto

The second father figure for Y/n, but if Risotto is more of a sugar daddy, indulging you with expensive gifts and foods, Prosciutto mostly acts like a real father would, scolding you for going outside at winter without your hat on (tho he never wears a hat himself) or for petting stray animals on the streets

Even despite all of his parental sternness, Prosciutto is really caring and attentive towards Y/n, even more that Risotto is. You got scratched accidentally because of your clumsiness? We gotta clean the wound up and patch it, don’t even try to protest; it may be a simple graze but what if some dirt got in it? Your shoulders ache after a long tiring day? Come hither, your dear Prosci will rub all the pain away

Least favorite rival: Risotto. Prosciutto doesn’t hate or despise albino, no. Risotto is a capo, and he got this status for several reasons, so blonde man still respects his boss, but both man have pretty familiar tactics of charming Y/n, and that definitely annoys Prosciutto

Formaggio

Formaggio is one of the most oblivious of all La Squadra men, he doesn’t realize that he’s not the only one having interest in Y/n and even when other guys flirt openly with Y/n in front of him red-haired just thinks that his teammates just try to be friendly towards a newcomer

He’s definitely that type of macho from all the cheesy movies - attractive, excellent smooth talker with constant flirtings. Formaggio is not opposed of using all possible cringy lines what annoy everyone in La Squadra, even Risotto has hard times restraining the urge to roll his eyes at all those shitty teasings. But Maggi is an easygoing guy, it’s so easy being around him and even all his pick up lines don’t repel you from him

Least favorite rival: doesn’t have one. As I said, this man doesn’t notice that other guys try to get Y/n to themselves, the thought of having possible rivals doesn’t even cross his mind

Illuso

It’s not a secret to anyone that Illuso is a little nasty bitch with a huge god complex and all his wooing is no better. “You wanna spend time with me? Shit, you’re such a pain in my ass! Okay, I guess I will indulge you this time, but that’s only because of your cute face” - doesn’t sound so appealing, does it? And that’s exactly the way brunette flirts with Y/n (well, at least he tries to)

Illuso wants to make you crawl to him, to make you crave for his presence and his touch, you make you fall in love hard. Brunette wears his best outfits, uses the best of his perfumes make up stuff just to show you that he’s better than all of his teammates. Surprisingly, even his behavior changes slightly when Y/n is around - he’s not that unbearably churlish towards you, on the good days he may even compliment you - “Your hair… looks good today, I like it”

Least favorite rival: he hates all of La Squadra equally. Illuso is certain that he’s the only one who truly deserves Y/n’s attention, he’s the best partner for you and only he can treat you properly. Doesn’t even try to hide his hostility towards teammates - why would you want spending time with such a trash?

Ghiaccio

Ghiaccio is a tsundere, do I even need to explain why? Is obvious to everyone in La Squadra that he’s head over heels for Y/n, but he still aggressively denies everything if someone points that out. He’s also very protective of you, if Formaggio or Melone or Sorbet try to flirt with you in front of Ghiaccio - they’ll get their nose bleeding soon (blue-haired gets scolded for that by Risotto often)

Blue-haired tries his best to hold all his outbursts in front of you. Even when you ask the stupidest questions, Ghiaccio would clench his fists til his knuckles turn white, grit his teeth, try doing breathing exercises - everything just to remain calm and not to get tantrum in front of you. And you guess that means really a lot

Least favorite rival: Sorbet and Gelato. Those guys (gays, lmao im sorry) don’t even try to hide their interest in Y/n, pinning for you, prying your attention only to themselves. They flirt so openly with you, some of their lines and allusions make even Melone feel slightly uncomfortable, so Ghiaccio sees those almost as if two husbands were shamelessly molesting Y/n

Melone

Melone knows that at times he may be a little bit… too much, so he turns it down for as much as he can so his “strange” tendencies won’t scare Y/n off. For the first few months purple-haired is nothing but sweet and caring, looking pretty normal, just like an average man that doesn’t think of breeding and all possible kinks every two minutes of his time

Even though, he acts like a gentleman with Y/n. Carrying heavy bags for you, giving you a hand when you get up, and if you’re studying medicine he’s up to help you if you have problems with understanding something. Melone had been studying for almost four years at medical uni but got kicked out for having sex with his cogrouper right in the uni. So he may be pretty helpful if you don’t get something or if you’re just interested in medicine

Least favorite rival: I can’t say that he cares much about other guys from La Squadra, but if he had to pick out one it’d be Illuso. It’s not about the way brunette tries to charm Y/n, purple-haired from every beginning didn’t like this guy. All of his conceit and arrogant behavior - it all just pisses Melone off

Pesci

Pesci is so so timid with Y/n, every time you walk by him, saying hi or just smiling at him, poor boy’s heart twists into tight knots. How are you so sweet? How are you so perfect?

Despite all your friendliness green-haired is still incredibly bashful, he is simply afraid of approaching Y/n. It doesn’t matter how much he likes you, Pesci just can’t force himself to try and initiate a chat. Sometimes Prosciutto helps him out with that a little (even though he doesn’t realize that he helps), but blonde is still careful with his actions, not letting even his precious Pesci get too close to Y/n

Least favorite rival: Formaggio. This guy is so noisy and vigorous, every time Pesci finally pulls himself together and finds the courage to approach Y/n this guy seems to appear from fucking nowhere, hogging your attention all to himself and leaving green-haired an angry blushing mess

Sorbet and Gelato

At the very beginning it feels more like you are Sorbet’s and Gelato’s child and they’re your parents fretting over you. They often take you with them on some trips, Gelato helps you with your school (if it’s something he knows about), Sorbet picks you up from work/school and drives you home etc

Sorbet is more of a tease, playing around with you, shamelessly flirting with Y/n, littering with not so pure compliments and comments. His touches are a little bit too long, his gazes are slightly too intense, even stupidest one would notice brunette’s longing for Y/n. Gelato is way less intense than his husband, blonde is way easier with his words, charming you with his sweet talking and constant doting. He’s more of a pillow that eases the expression Sorbet gives you

Sorbet’s least favorite rival: Risotto. Brunette hates how calm and well-composed Capo is, what if Y/n thinks that albino is cooler than he is? But Sorbet immediately makes a new plan in his head: if Risotto is more of a dad to Y/n, always doting on you and being so kind, Sorbet’s going to become your daddy, making you fall for him and Gelato, make you hungry for their attention

Gelato’s least favorite rival: blonde is pretty acknowledged that everyone in La Squadra tryies to get Y/n to themselves, he sees everyone (except Sorbet ofc) as his rival. Man dislikes everyone, seeing them as his opponents, but he doesn’t have a least favorite one. Yes, other members are hella pain in the ass, but blonde is pretty sure that Y/n will end up in his and Gelato’s arms anyways, so there’s no need to jangle his nerves

Masterlist | Smut Masterlist

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