#and another one is doing autonomous systems

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being the youngest Avenger and joining the Thunderbolts*

Thunderbolts x reader

warnings: spoilers!!! blood and guns and death n such u know the drill

a/n: i gave y/n unspecified powers until about halfway through so i just based the powers on an oc i am weak

prompt:

you’d always been the odd one out in the avengers, being the “young one” was not easy

like, you were teens during the battle of new york

sure, you were respected as a valiant hero, one of earths mightiest, but there was struggle in not having many peers to lean on

when you had wanda around, things were a little different—but that didn’t last long at all

then the blip happened, you survived, your world crumbled, and you got everyone back—but nothing was ever the same and it took its toll on you

the avengers disbanded, everyone left went their separate ways and you realized that the avengers, your family, were all you’d ever known

so you found your footing elsewhere, tried to stay in touch with those who you found comfort in. people you could count on

this included sam, clint, and bruce. rest were either preoccupied, plotting less than ethical things, or you just weren’t close with to begin with

“yeah, this kid—kate—she reminds me of you. she’s a bit more clumsy, awkward, and desperate, but it made me think of you…having another young person aspiring to save the world and all. or at least new york” -clint over the phone

“it’s nice to hear, thanks for checking in. hopefully she doesn’t accidentally destroy any buildings like i did” -you

“well, about that���” -clint

you always really enjoyed when they called you first, but no one was calling for your calling

you didn’t know how to not be a hero, it was really fucking frustrating

you were only made an avenger that early on because you had powers, and you were already a public hero. it’s not like you could get a job at a coffee shop, as entertaining as that would be

that’s when bucky called you one day, and you didn’t get close with bucky until steve died. yeah, you helped him out of a bind in germany, but that was about as far as it went. you were just acquainted because of sam

but bucky knew how it felt to be alone, lost, misguided, all that

and he just decided to run for congress

“y/n, i’d like you to be my advisor. there’s no one i could trust more—that would agree to this, that is” -bucky

“are you serious?” -you

“about running for congress or the advisor thing?” -bucky

“both i guess?” -you

“yeah, i’m serious” -bucky “i heard from a mutual friend you were still trying to find your place after…you know, everything. i am, too. so i’m asking you as a friend if you will join me on this path. it could be good for both of us”

and that it was, bucky won the election and you were now being paid decend money to be bucky’s #2. it felt right

you’d briefly been a government employee as an avenger, but now you were a lot more autonomous in a sense

yes, you had a lot of red tape, but it beat that sense of impending doom you had living with the avengers

you and bucky fought to keep new york safe in a different way. fought for the little guy. tried to clean up the system a bit

that included getting valentina allegra de fontaine impeached from her job as the head of the CIA

if there’s anything bucky and you knew about intelligence agencies, they needed to be as clean as possible. or else you’d have disasters like hydra infiltrating shield and secret human experimentation and super soldiers and child assassins. all that good stuff

you backed it, regardless of what little sway you guys had

you gave him a death glare as he was interviewed about valentina’s impeachment and all he could do was say “worrying” 10 times in a row

“we need to work on your public speaking” -you, immediately following his embarrassing comments

“yeah, i know” -bucky

you and bucky lived nearby each other, you relocated to brooklyn following the new job

so when necessary, you’d lean on each other

let me be clear that this is strictly friendship. lightly professional. the two of you have seen dark days in your own respective ways. you were both turned into weapons without any say. had a hard time controlling it for a long time. made some terrible mistakes. tried your hardest to move up in the world. carry demons with you. misery loves company.

and right now, being new to the office, not a lot of other government officials were fond of you two. there was a lot of distrust.

first, we have the hydra super soldier who’s ledger is running with blood. his slate was wiped clean, but that doesn’t mean the people see him differently. it was a miracle he was voted into office to begin with

then there’s you, the late-20s, early 30s former avenger who was never quite taken seriously due to your youth in the public eye. you were viewed as dangerous due to your powers, as well, and some people feared you two would use your abilities to influence and intimidate

so you advised taking a very gentle approach to congressman barnes, that way no one felt threatened

that was until you and bucky went rogue to bring in valentina’s covert ops team as a last ditch effort to get her impeached

bucky bombing several CIA vehicles? not very gentle

but fun and refreshing? check!

“it’s been a while since i’ve been able to stretch my legs—the suit’s a little tight, though” -you

“you’re still rocking it” -yelena

“aw, thanks! we’re not letting you go” -you

then the rogue assassins and you guys get into it about a guy named “bob” and then bucky gets a call about “bob” its a whole mess. whatever

“okay, looks like we’re letting you go” -you

“hey, i meant it, your suit still looks good! im not even tied up anymore and i’m still saying it!” -yelena

“she’s right, you look awesome” -ava

“yeah, i need to change. my range of motion is severely limited” -you

you guys got to NYC to go confront valentina…at the old avengers HQ

you got a chill down your spine as you arrived

“you good?” -bucky

“yeah, yeah. just a lot of memories here” -you

this was the moment where it clicked for the rest of the team that you were an AVENGER. a real avenger. you were close with natasha. you knew the real steve rogers. you fought alongside thor and the hulk and wanda maximoff. and here you were kicking it with what alexei was calling “the thunderbolts”

“don’t get all misty eyed, we’ve got work to do” -john

lets note that this interaction took place after bucky crashed a commercial sized truck into the lobby, you’d just beaten everyone’s asses, and valentina invited you all upstairs

and there she was at the bar pouring a drink for herself and for just a small moment you saw a glimpse of tony stark standing in front of you again. giving you a smug smirk and asking for your ID before he made you a shirley temple. even after you were of age.

and a darkness overcame you a moment while you stood there. you were in sokovia standing next to pietro maximoff as he laid facedown on the ground. you were perfectly safe, didn’t even notice he was down. you never even realized he was beside you he was so fast. you heard wanda’s screams and you panicked, froze, didn’t know what to do. you were watching yourself go through these motions again.

and then bucky’s hand touched your back and you snapped back to reality, meeting the infamous “bob” for the first time

or as valentina called him, sentry

and immediately you were disturbed, there was something off about his presence

and immediately the team began to attack

you even hit him with a shock as powerful as thor with mjölnir, but he didn’t even flinch

it was futile, he was knocking you guys around like you were nothing

but he had this strange, kind demeanor about him too

once he ripped bucky’s arm off, it was time to GO

you all evacuated the building, a place you once called home, and wandered down the streets of new york. pathetic

and not even five minutes went by before a new form of this guy was literally turning people into VOIDS

“you know, buck, i’m starting to get real tired of shit like this happening in manhattan. this doesn’t happen in brooklyn AT ALL” -you, beginning to attack once again

you were the only thunderbolt with ranged powers—literal thunderbolts, if you will

but that didn’t seem to be doing much

the rest of them were mostly using guns and that also wasn’t working, so this became more of a rescue op

you liked fighting with bucky, it’d only happened three times before this. in germany, wakanda, and the avengers compound

and yelena reminded you so much of natasha, you knew exactly what the next move would be

alexei was…well, he took some inspiration from cap, you could see it you guess.

john walker was difficult. send tweet

he was trying though. you guess.

ava was more of a loner. she kind of reminded you of wanda. you missed her

when you saw yelena vanish, the LAST thing you wanted to do was to do the same

but bucky assured you that you were in it together

he took your hand and you walked into the darkness together

and ended up facing the worst pain of your life

for him: amputation, brainwashing, brutal torture, murder, losing steve

for you: the accident that gave you powers, sokovia, the blip, loneliness, mistakes that cost lives

but you powered through. you got bob. you saved new york. and for you, it wasn’t the first time!

and the moment valentina introduced you as the new avengers, you clenched your teeth and bucky nearly had to hold you back

you agreed to stick together to keep valentina in check, much to sam wilson’s dismay

“oh, hes gonna kill us” -you

“he’s not the only one” -bucky

“oh, my god. clint’s gonna kill me” -you

“eh, barton sees you as one of his kids, i’m sure he’ll give you a stern talking to” -bucky

he did.

you cried.

he gave you a big hug after and apologized for yelling.

and there you were in avengers tower again

just like you were 15 years ago.

“you used to live here, no?” -alexei

“i did. i did a long, long time ago.” -you, about to have a full on meltdown

“that’s great! you can show me around, then. please, show me your old room!” -alexei

he did know how to lift your spirits, for sure

and then there was yelena, who so desperately wanted to feel closer to natasha

“will you tell me a story, please? it would make me feel closer to her” -yelena

ironically, hanging out with yelena made you feel closer to nat

“well, nat trained me a good bit when we joined the avengers. she taught me how to fight, to not depend on my powers, to be a spy, to use weapons. i would be who i am today without her” -you

“yes, that’s great and all, but give me specifics!” -yelena

“okay, she LOVED desperate housewives. she’d make me sit through HOURS of it when we were off-duty. it was a great distraction. when we came back from sokovia and moved into the new compound, she had me on that couch for three days straight” -you

yelena snorted laughing

she also loved to spar with you

in a way, you felt like a sibling to her these days

in the way she was raised, at least

you laughed everytime you noticed a little “oopsie” val overlooked before the full remodel

“oh, my god. i once shocked the microwave while i was half asleep and i shorted out the whole building. this dark mark in the wall is the explosion of the microwave that led to the power outage” -you

“how long did it take to fix?” -ava

“about 10 minutes. tony was thoroughly embarrassed it took him that long” -you

there were also little dents and dings and bullet holes and such, especially it what was formerly the training room and being revamped for an even better one

“the last time i was here was when ultron booted up and sent the whole iron legion in after a party with the avengers. it was actually quite horrific, i thought the avengers were gonna disband right then and there. i thought i was going to be homeless” -you

“jesus, you sure talk about your past a lot” -john

“oh, sorry, would you rather i talk about yours?” -you, semi-threatening

he backed off

you tried to make as many new memories as you could, but everything seemed to remind you of the past

all you knew is the people needed to look up to something and that had to be the new avengers

and to have a former avenger on it? that was good for optics

did it make you feel stuck from time to time? uh yeah, you never really could escape your past

but the congress thing kind of fizzled out

so this was the next best thing

“alexei is calling me, hold on” -you

“y/n! i need directions” -alexei

“okay, where are you?” -you

“twenty third floor. i do not know how you lived in this maze as long as you did! i cannot find anything around here” -alexei

“hang on. you’re lost inside the building?” -you

you’d go to your favorite restaurant in manhattan with bucky sometimes, just to get out of the tower

“so, be honest with me. is this what you want?” -bucky

“i want to feel like i belong. and i do” -you

“because it’s familiar?” -bucky

“basically” -you

you explained that it still was an adjustment. you felt like you were seeing ghosts in a sense

but it was like a do over too

a chance to be the hero you grew up to be, to make steve, tony, natasha, clint, bruce, and thor proud

sam was still a little pissed about it. rightfully so

but making breakfast with bob, training with yelena, drinking with alexei, having heart to hearts with bucky, shit talking with ava, and ignoring john was not the worst thing to happen to you

you heard over exaggerated war stories, had eventful training, shorted out the microwave again, started to give john a chance, found a friend in bob, and more in this new life

and you were always meant to be an avenger, your calling was to protect the world. thats why you guys formed the avengers 15 years ago. so you did it in the name of the family you’d never forget.

taglist: @locke-writes // @captainshazamerica // @summersimmerus // @prettysbliss // @simp-legend // @wild-rose-35 // @nekoannie-chan // @beth-gallagher22 // @sk1bidi-n1k0-e4ts-people // @deanzboyfriend // @mr-mxyzptlk-1940 //

[mariasont]

GLUE MYSELF SHUT

it starts with ice on your tongue and ends with spencer trying not to picture what else his mouth might be good at

pairings: spencer reid x shy!reader warnings: 18+ MDNI, not explicit smut but it's suggestive, post prison spencer, fem reader, fluff, reader has an oral fixation, talk of alcohol, alcohol consumption (wine), spencer having some semi super-naughty thoughts, he’s obsessed with her lips, he’s so down bad it’s not even funny. except it is. i find it hilarious. i feel like the ending was weird but i stared at it for like 6 business days and couldn’t figure out how to fix it so #word wc: 1.6k request: here

The autonomic nervous system, when overengaged, compulsively chases external release valves. Little, repetitive distractions employed to dissipate internal pressure. Cognitive behavior theory identifies these as primitive anxiety-management strategies. Lip-biting, skin-picking, hair-twisting.

For you, the chosen method consists of timed intervals involving ice cubes, precisely fourteen minutes apart. Pinching it between cautious fingertips, rolling it contemplatively, savoring the brief burst of cold against skin.

He watches, a reluctant voyeur to the slow meltwater streams trickling along your fingers in mercury rivulets, until finally disappearing past parted lips. His eyes shutter sideways, hurriedly silencing the part of his brain that longs to quantify the thaw rate versus thermal conduction properties of ice on the surface of your tongue.

You’re studying a painting in the corner of the restaurant — abstract oils bleeding into one another in nebulous fashion behind Emily’s shoulder. Spencer finds himself studying you, an equally abstract form of art. You’re a fan of art. He’s seen your tendency to pause at gallery plaques, eyes tracing curatorial notes while your fingers twitch involuntarily, as though fighting the impulse to physically touch the described textures.

He isn’t much different at this moment. 

You’re never exacting, never critical of the things you see. You’re easy to please in the purest sense, content to absorb shapes and colors simply because they exist, acknowledging beautiful things without demanding it prove itself worthy.

It makes him wonder, morbidly, if you’re easy to please in other ways. 

Do you make noises when someone kisses you properly? Would your thighs tremble if they whispered how lovely you were, over and over again? Could you come from just a few well-placed touches?

He knows how polymers behave under heat. He wants to know if you’re the same.

He shouldn’t be indulging these thoughts. He’s repeated the admonition several times already, a silent internal chant that does nothing to stem the tide because here you are, unknowingly feeding it.

Your lips gleam with condensation, a lone droplet suspended just above your mouth, a tiny, inadvertent physics demonstration awaiting disruption.

His thumb tingles impulsively, a raw, tactile curiosity urging him to test the exact point at which tension collapses, to feel moisture yield to pressure.

He blinks hard, almost violently, screwing his eyelids shut in an effort to sever the treacherous visual connection tethering him precariously to your mouth. His gaze then drops like ballast to the nearest neutral object — his plate, where a roasted carrot glares back up at him with bland contempt.

Spencer coughs into a closed fist, a pathetic smokescreen for the heat scalding up his throat, licking at his ears like flame-starved oxygen.

With determined resolve, he refocuses, or at least pretends to, zeroing in on Rossi’s dramatic discourse about the fermentation processes and barrel chemistry. Wine science, he assures himself, is safe, dry, deeply unsexy. Unlike you. Unlike the mental imagery of your mouth encircled around other, less work-appropriate things.

These team dinners are, in most cases, a slow bleed. A sensory minefield dressed in linen napkins and over-loud laughter. Spencer doesn’t resent the company, he loves them, every single one, but the sound never stops, the social current too nonlinear to keep up with.

Noise and light and movement pile upon each other until his nervous system blinks seven different shades of red.

So yeah, usually, he counts minutes and builds exit strategies.

But tonight, that never happens. There’s no grit behind his eyes, no anticipatory urge for flight. Instead, there’s only a strange sense of equilibrium and the certainty that it begins and ends with you.

Every shy laugh you offer at Morgan’s jokes, every awkward tuck of your hair behind your ear when attention veers too close to you, every furtive glance his way like you’re reassuring yourself he hasn’t dematerialized between breaths.

He notices it all. Worse, he likes it. Relishes it in a way that feels almost parasitic when he dares to think about it too long.

You inch closer, lowering your voice to be aimed at him. “Do you think Rossi would be crushed if he found out I genuinely can’t taste the difference between this and, like, Welch’s?”

Spencer bites back an immediate grin, angling himself toward you until the barest fraction of space remains between your shoulders.

“I won’t tell if you don’t.”

“So that’s a yes, then?”

“Pretty much.” He slides his glass your way. “Here, try this one. Rossi said it’s supposed to have subtle oak notes. I think that’s just the polite way of saying it doesn’t feel like lighter fluid.”

You accept his glass, fingertips brushing his as you take it. 

Spencer’s eyes cling to your mouth as you sip, lips parting over the same place his touched, sealing over it perfectly like you were made to erase him and replace him in one motion. 

When you pull back, the wine stains your lips in a dark, sultry crimson. He imagines pressing his mouth to yours until the color smears, until it becomes something new altogether — a hue birthed from shared breaths and synchronized heartbeats. He wonders what saturation your mouth would take on if it were shaped around his name.

Spencer recognizes that he might be one errant breath away from ruin.

There are other people here, he reminds himself. Polite company. His colleagues, no less, who are presumably not here to watch him experience this kind of deranged attention he’s directing toward you. He’s certain he must be blushing, overheating, or having a close, conversational strow. Each scenario feels equally plausible, equally shameful, equally likely to leave him socially incapacitated.

You tilt your head, eyebrows raised in patient confusion. Three long, interminable seconds crawl by before Spencer realizes you’re awaiting a response.

Shit.

“What?” he blurts, louder than intended.

“I said I don’t think I have the palate for this one. Kind of tastes like overpriced raisins.”

Spencer bobs his head eagerly. “Right. Yeah. No, I — agree.”

Your smile is soft but searching as you seem to follow his thought process and come up short. Spencer’s heart kicks harder in his chest. He fumbles for normalcy and overshoots.

“The raisin flavor, it’s probably residual sugar. Or the grape variety, certain grapes naturally have that characteristic. Sometimes they’re intentionally allowed to over ripen, concentrating sugars. Could also be oxidation. Or, possibly, microbial spoilage, though that sounds bad, it’s usually done on purpose, beneficial spoilage. Controlled spoilage.”

“What kind of grapes do they use for that, then?” Your voice is tentative, uncertain, as though worried the question might sound overly simplistic.

It’s not. It’s absolutely fine, ideal, even. Except Spencer’s concentration evaporates instantly when your tongue flicks gently across your lower lip, leaving behind a glossy sheen.

Suddenly, grapes don’t exist. Language doesn’t exist. Spencer himself might barely exist.

“Usually Muscat or Zinfandel,” he manages at last, “They, uh, leave them on the vine longer to intensify sweetness.”

You laugh under your breath, pushing the stem of the glass back toward him. “Makes sense, though I might not be the best judge. My mom used to say that anything that didn’t taste like peach schnapps wasn’t worth the bottle.”

Spencer’s mouth opens, poised to respond, but your hand is already in motion, fingers dipping into your glass for another cube of ice. He watches as your thumb gently glides over its edges. Checking for symmetry, perhaps. You bring it to your mouth and he doesn’t blink, can’t. There’s a fleeting glimpse of pink tongue against transparent ice, the slight hollowing of your cheeks.

All sentence structure evaporates, replaced by a pounding rush of blood to his temples and other less cooperative places. 

“That’s…” he rasps, then clears his throat. “That’s funny.”

“What is?”

“Your um. Your mom’s schnapps rule.”

“Oh.” You cock your head. “I always thought it was kinda trashy.”

“It’s not,” he says, too fast. “I’ve heard worse opinions about alcohol.”

“Yeah?” Your purse your lips and the ice shifts, creating a temporary distortion in the shape of your cheek. “Like what?”

Spencer watches the dent smooth out, watches how the overhead lights refract across your skin — warmer along the apple of your cheek, cooler where it softens into shadow near your jaw. A perfect gradient, like a masterwork in motion. A living chiaroscuro. Oil paintings where the subject glows not because of the paint, but because of its depth was coaxed out by patient and loving hands.

He wonders who has painted you in that light.

You mentioned your mother and he wants to know more. What was she like? Did she nurture your curiosity, or did she scold it? Was she tender, or tired? Did she sing while she cooked? Did she let you cry, or did she rush to clean it up? 

And your father, was he there? Was he gentle? Did he hug you with both arms, or with silence? Did he make you feel small in the way children should, protected, or in the way they shouldn’t, invisible?

Spencer hopes, deeply, that they were kind. That you were someone’s favorite part of the day. That you grew up held, not just housed.

He doesn’t think you’re seeing anyone romantically. Not seriously. He suspects he’d know, suspects there’d be signs. Someone waiting at the door. A name that surfaces too often. 

But you probably have been with people before. Respectful ones, preferably.

“Like how some people can’t tell the difference between a five-hundred-dollar Bordeaux and… grape juice,” he finally says, quirking a brow. “Hypothetically speaking, of course.”

“Not everyone’s tongue works quite as well as yours, Doctor Reid.” 

Spencer sees the instant when your brain catches up with your words, cheeks flooding with heat, eyes widening incrementally, mouth parting in a mortified ‘O’.

“I mean — not like that.” You quickly stumble forward, hands fluttering uselessly in your lap, voice pitched high. “Refined taste buds. Taste buds, I meant, not… not tongue in any other context.”

Your expression is a fascinating disaster, eyebrows drawn tight, lips flattened into a line like you’re hoping the pressure alone might rewind time and vacuum every syllable back into your throat.

Meanwhile, Spencer’s imagination flickers to life, promptly supplying him with an intensely distracting scenario involving precisely how well his tongue works when applied directly to you.

“Right. Taste buds,” he echoes, voice two octaves higher than usual. “I knew what you meant.”

Except he hadn’t, not immediately. His heartbeat already sprinting ahead of him, generously pumping oxygen to regions he’d strongly prefer remain switched off. He briefly considers explaining the basis of verbal slips — the Freudian slip theory, perhaps — but decides against it. 

Better to pretend that his mind hasn’t already replayed your words more times than strictly necessary.

One day he’ll show you.

shy reader is part of a stand-alone series! you can read more here!

💌 masterlist taglist has been disbanded! if you want to get updates about my writings follow and turn notifications on for my account strictly for reblogging my works! @mariasreblogs

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Speaking of how the heroes are chosen, the temp system might be one of the worst writing choices the writers ever made. I mean I get it, permanent heroes would require the show to have continuity and it makes for yet another parallel with Gabriel, but it just ends up being another one of those instances of the show trying to have its cake and eat it too, like. The new heroes eat up screen time that could've gone to the OG duo, but they also don't get to be heroes in their own right and are essentially Ladybug's Pokemon. It makes both people who liked the duo and people who like team-based shows unhappy for no real benefit.

It's also just a massive security risk. Fu says that it's dangerous for the Miraculous to be out in the open, but it's actually way less risky to put the Miraculous in circulation, because then Hawk Moth has to retrieve them by defeating every hero individually, which is a lot more effort. Keeping them all in one place and distributing them one at a time like this means Hawk Moth only has to figure out who's in charge of the distributing and follow that person right to the Miracle Box. Ferrying the Miraculous for every battle also creates more opportunities to lose them, which is how Queen Bee ended up happening.

Looking back, the problems of just about every season finale past S1 can be traced back to this system. It's almost like the writers are trying to set Marinette up to fail.

Ladybug's Pokemon

I love that phrasing! I've just called them her powerups, but this paints a much clearer picture of what I mean. They're not her autonomous teammates who feel vital to the story. They're her cute little friends who do whatever she says. All she has to do is pick which ones she wants for today's battle.

Fu says that it's dangerous for the Miraculous to be out in the open, but it's actually way less risky to put the Miraculous in circulation, because then Hawk Moth has to retrieve them by defeating every hero individually, which is a lot more effort.

Ferrying the Miraculous for every battle... creates more opportunities to lose them, which is how Queen Bee ended up happening.

These are two of my biggest issue with the temp heroes as a general concept. Fetching them every battle gives Gabriel endless chances to find out the temp heroes identities and/or where the guardian is hiding. I don't know why the show acts like the problem was Ladybug forgetting to detransform in Heart Hunter:

Ladybug: Master Fu, I need your help! Master Fu: (sees Ladybug, gasps) This costume is very cute, miss, but is it really fitting in this place? Ladybug: (gasps) I forgot to transform back. (Looks arounds enters the center of the merry-go-round trying to remain unseen) I haven't been followed Master, I'm sure of it.

Nathalie would have been able to track Ladybug either way. At least this way Marinette's identity stayed a secret!

It would make infinitely more sense for Fu to be the one to hand out the miraculous to the temp heroes for two reasons. The first one was laid out above. Having him or some other support character do it is the best way to keep his identity a secret. You should not have Ladybug leaving battles to do it. That's too easy to track because the villains know where she's going to be when she goes running off for help.

The other reason is because it's asinine to have Ladybug run off every time they face a major threat. Think about that logic for a second.

Ladybug: This akuma is too hard for us to fight as a duo! Chat Noir, you stay here and fight this super hard akuma alone while I go get reinforcements. I'll be back in half an hour or so. Chat Noir: Wait, what? How am I supposed to- Ladybug: Have fun! Don't die! Bye!

How did that never backfire on them? I get temp heroes being temp for a few fights, but they should have all been given their miraculous full time ages ago.

[ask-an-epidemiologist]

Why "COVID anxiety" is not an actual disorder

In psychiatric terms, a phobia is considered as such if, and only if, it is unreasonable. So, an average person experiencing panic attacks at the sight of bees would be considered to have a phobia, because they are more afraid than the risk bees present to them.

However, a person with a fatal allergy to bee stings would not be considered apiphobic. This is because, with the risk of death bees present to them, having panic attacks is considered a rational reaction.

I'm sure you can already understand my point.

COVID not only can kill you (particularly if you're medically vulnerable), but it can cause severe disability. Even ignoring that people who have had COVID in the last three weeks are 81 times likelier to die of cardiac events than uninfected people, survivors of COVID are also 40% likelier to develop neurological sequelae. Rates of POTS or other dysautonomias (dysfunctions of the autonomous nervous system, which can be anywhere from "uncomfortable" to "rendering a patient bedridden") are through the roof, and neurologists are finding huge increases in the under-45 demographic of their dementia patients- a demographic that was previously extremely rare.

If someone wears protective eyewear while welding because they don't want to be blinded by an arc flash, we consider that a normal and reasonable precaution. So why are people who mask being labeled as "anxious about COVID" considering that this virus will very likely disable them if not kill them outright?

"COVID anxiety" is a rational behavior, not a medical diagnosis- so why are we treating it as one? Simple: it's another politicization of medicine. Just as "hysteria" was used to silence women, and lobotomization was used to subjugate inconvenient people (especially of rival political affiliations), "COVID anxiety" is being used to silence those who refuse to cooperate with the false narrative that COVID is over and/or no big deal. The very sight of a mask is a stark reminder to medical officials and laymen alike that they should be doing something they aren't. It's why some doctors aren't even "letting" chemo patients, one of the most severely immunocompromised demographics, do this. Because even though they are carefully avoiding a lot more illnesses than COVID, the sight of the mask still makes the doctor think of the COVID precautions they are ignoring first and foremost.

That is to say, "COVID anxiety" is a punitive diagnosis made by doctors when they are angry at the discomfort they feel when their patients remind them of their utter inadequacy, and they created this solely to stigmatize and demean patients to ensure they wouldn't subvert the expected power dynamic again.

Zero competent medical professionals actually use this terminology for their patients, and if yours uses it for you, run, don't walk, to a new clinic. Helping you is a secondary goal at best for your doctor.

[alexanderwales]

Literary Greebling

Greebling is this thing from model-making where a flat expanse looks boring and unrealistic, so you add on some little bits and bobs (greebles) to break up the surface and make it seem "more".

I think this is a great concept to port over to writing.

For characters: You've got your backstory, your motivation, your emotional beats, all that stuff, right? Add in some quirks, some contradictions, some small, seemingly irrelevant details that make them feel textured and authentic. They don't drive the plot, they're probably not relevant to the story, they're not necessarily going to come up again, but they break up the surface and make everything feel like it exists at a higher resolution.

A character makes sure not to step on the cracks in the sidewalk, not out of superstition, but because he's just been doing it for a long time and likes being on a streak. A character carries around coins from different countries, fiddling with them while waiting in line. A character always knocks on doors to the tune of "shave and a haircut". Someone hums a song from a movie soundtrack.

For settings: It's pretty common for us to build up a setting in simplified terms, to have everything be a result of one thing or another, huge clashing forces. Real settings aren't like that, or aren't wholly like that. A city can have a unified architecture while also having a couple buildings that come from different traditions. A kingdom can have a tiny semi-autonomous zone inside it. You have, in theory, three branches of government, but in practice, there are edge cases where they're putting on each other's hats, and there are independent agencies which only answer to one of the three branches in a limited way, and you don't need too many of these things to have it feel rich and complex.

For magic systems: There's a beginner magic system where four to six elements are all perfectly set into a lattice, balanced against each other, perfectly mirroring each other. This works for certain applications, but I will submit to you that this is much better with greebles. You can have your lattice and your system of elemental weaknesses, but they need the little differences, the things that break up the flat expanse. Give your water magic a connection to the moon, let your fire magic affect rust, have it all have little knots and whorls and complications when you look closer.

Again, the point isn't that these things are plot relevant, they don't have to be, and maybe it's better if they're not. But the little non-conforming details help sell whatever you're trying to do.

[read-marx-and-lenin]

alright.

I'll start with Lenin first, then move to Marx. Lenin was an autocrat and a dictator. There's no way around it. He was unelected and created a one-party state. This was due to the fact that the revolution was led by a vanguard, which the members of, once they succeeded in overthrowing the old government, could easily set up a self-serving dictatorship. He's not a Marxist, and he's not a Socialist.

Since Lenin obviously did not in any way uphold the vision of Marx, I'll tackle him separately. A (stateless) communist society does eliminate many hierarchies, but leaves the most coercive systems untouched. Those being: the hierarchy of the collective over the individual and that coercion required of industrialism. In a commune, one's individual vote is negligible, since the outcome is only affected by one person's vote in very rare circumstances. Once the votes are tallied, the individual is expected to conform to the decisions of the majority, and to accept the commune's laws and customs. This leads to the individual becoming feeling helpless and weak.

Secondly, Marxism fails to address the coercion required to make an industrial society function. In order to have products, you must have a payroll of workers to stand where they are told to stand and do what they are told to do and go home and show up to work when they are told to do it. Instead of working towards goals that are immediate, which directly affect one's condition (such as building a house to live in), one must do a task or set of tasks that ultimately has little to do directly with one's own material well-being. Instead, the hyperspecialized work required in an industrial society is made livable indirectly via trade. This leads to a dependence on the industrial system as a whole, which requires a massive amount of cohesion to function.

Humans are no longer permitted to act autonomously since doing so would be a hindrance to the system. Behaviors which are not conducive to the system are disallowed, but all unimportant facets of our life which do not interfere with the functioning of the system are permitted to grow within said limits.

Lenin was elected as Chairman of the Council of People's Commissars by the Congress of Soviets a total of nine times before his death. His position was not one elected by the people directly, but rather he was elected by the congressional representatives of the soviets who were themselves elected by the people. You can argue that his position should have been directly elected if you want, but you cannot say he was unelected. Regardless, while the Chairman of the CPC was the head of government of the RSFSR, and later the Soviet Union, the CPC was not a one-person council and the council as a whole was subordinate to the Central Executive Committee, which was in turn subordinate to the Congress of Soviets. Lenin was not an autocrat or a dictator; he did not hold sole legal authority and the Soviet government had numerous checks and balances.

I see no reason to believe a vanguard party or a one-party state is undemocratic. The USSR was a dictatorship, but not a dictatorship of one person. It was a dictatorship of the proletariat, as the bourgeoisie were stripped of the right to vote and to be elected. You can object to this if you like, but I personally don't think that was a bad decision.

You seem to be arguing that Lenin was neither Marxist nor socialist because the nascent Soviet Union was not yet classless or stateless. Yet why should it have been expected to be? Communism is not something that can be achieved overnight, or even in one generation. In the meantime, there must be some mechanism for suppressing and overthrowing the bourgeoisie. No matter how democratic, how horizontal, and how people-oriented that mechanism is, it still constitutes a state insofar as it constitutes an organ for the oppression of one class by another. Unless you are arguing that the rights of the bourgeoisie should be maintained and protected, you cannot escape this fact.

At the point of achieving a stateless, classless communist society, I don't see why decision-making would necessarily be performed through simple majority vote. While it's rather pointless in my mind to be speculating about how a hypothetical communist society of the future might function, I think it's safe to say they'd be far more capable of exploring alternative forms of decision-making than we are now. In any case, the question of how a future communist society might function is entirely separate from questions of past and present systems of government.

You are right to point out that the industrial mode of production requires collective and specialized activity in order to function, but I fail to see what the alternative is. Humans are a social animal, our production has always been collective and we have always benefited from specialization in labor. The advancement in industry has made possible a reduction in socially necessary labor time, not an increase. It is capitalism and the profit motive that has mandated long hours and low autonomy in the workplace, not industry itself.

People are not inherently stupid or self-centered. They can understand very well the relationship between one sector of industry and another. You do not need to be building a house to understand how, for instance, the nails you are manufacturing will be used to build houses and other goods. You do not need to be manufacturing nails to understand how the iron you are mining will be used to make nails and other goods. The idea that it is alienating to be engaged in a task that is socially beneficial rather than merely individually beneficial is absurd.

You talk about social cohesion as if it is impossible or undesirable. But again, what is the alternative? An incoherent, fragmented society? No society at all, and people just fend for themselves as individuals? I fail to see how anything less than social cohesion is desirable.

You say that industrial society is coercive and prevents people from acting autonomously. I say, what does it mean to act autonomously? Humans must satisfy our basic needs before we can think about engaging in autonomous activity. If you are starving, you are compelled to seek food. If you are freezing, you are compelled to seek shelter. Individual freedom is subordinate to our material conditions, and only through improving our material conditions can we satisfy our basic needs and guarantee individual freedom.

If we are to have a society where the individual freedoms of everyone are maximized, then we must have a society which guarantees everyone their basic needs. Food, shelter, clothing, medicine, education, transportation, communication, etc. All of these must be secured before a person has full freedom to act autonomously. Improving the quality of these things and the efficiency of their production improves the standard of living and reduces socially necessary labor time, which allows for greater degrees of freedom.

You say behaviors which are not conducive to the system are disallowed. I do not necessarily disagree, but I feel you are intentionally obscuring the nature of such behaviors. What is “the system” here? The system is society. So a behavior not conducive to society is an anti-social behavior, a behavior that impedes or harms other members of society. Why should these behaviors be allowed? Is it maximizing autonomy and freedom to allow someone to steal or rape or murder with impunity? No, it is merely trading someone else's freedom and autonomy for your own.

You can certainly maximize your own freedom and autonomy at the expense of others, but if we are to live in a society where the freedom and autonomy of everyone is to be maximized, then there must be certain limits to individual behavior for the sake of others. Maybe someday humanity will evolve to a state where one can live in their own private world with maximum freedom to do as they please without worrying about impacting others, but until that day we will have to live in a society with other people and the social restrictions that come with that. Personally, I don't think it's such a burden to have to care about other people.

Society as it stands today is indeed imperfect and often oppressive. Socialist states in the past and present have yet to achieve the classlessness and statelessness that marks higher-stage socialism, i.e. communism. They too are imperfect and have restricted people's behavior in various ways, some I would argue are necessary, and some I would argue are unnecessary. However, I believe that socialism offers us the greatest opportunity to improve society as a whole and liberate humanity from oppressive structures. I believe that capitalism remains the central impediment to the advancement of society and the pursuit of human freedom. I believe that a vanguard party and a dictatorship of the proletariat have been the most effective means of combating the bourgeoisie so far. And I believe that the advancement of science and industry has been the most effective means of securing and improving the basic needs of the people as a whole.

My question to you remains: what is the alternative? You can criticize all you want, and thoughtful and rational critique of all things is both important and beneficial, but unless you have an alternative to socialist revolution and industrial society, then you're just throwing the baby out with the bathwater. How are we to combat the bourgeoisie without a vanguard or a state? How are we to provide people with their basic needs without industrial production?

[changingplumbob]

Second Round - Day Eleven (Gonk) 1 of 2

@sleepyselkiesims, @sanitysims, @bakersimmer, @invisiblequeen, @abbysimsfun, @fallin4fiction - Sim creators, co-writers, costume/makeup department and fashion photographers

Bright and early, the household wakes up. Room order was randomised, and turns out Nicola and Nephinae have ground floor rooms today. A wheel was spun for type of shower the contestants would have (opportunity for energised, flirty or inspired moodlet) and whether they would brush their teeth (possible confident moodlet). Once they are finished getting ready they're sent to breakfast. Autonomy is toggled on and room doors are locked.

The order the contestants arrive at breakfast matters a little. Deanna compliments each of them in the order they arrive. Those who are talked to early seem to have more chance of fitting in autonomous socials with Deanna. They might fit in a joke, flirt or gossip between her complimenting others.

Deanna: Good morning Nicola! Oh... are you alright?

Yasmine: Did you have another shampoo disaster?

Nicola: *tearfully* Yes

Arista: *mermaid noises* I'm sorry if that seemed insensitive

Nicola: No I know, it's involuntary

Nephinae: You okay Kris?

Kristina: *sadly* Shmoo shmoo

Yep, Kristina has been struck by a sad moodlet from her erratic trait this morning.

Arista: Hold on, I need a hug

Deanna laughs and hugs the pink haired sim before checking up on her. When she sits back down it appears Yasmine's steamy shower is paying off.

Yasmine: The stripes on your shirt match my hair, it's fate, we're matching

Watchers note: Evelyn who was clearing dishes hears Yasmine flirting and dumps the pile of dirty plates in front of her. I couldn't stop giggling for a while as Evelyn just stood there interrupting the conversation in such an un-Evie way. Yasmine however is unbothered.

Deanna: Do you need to take some time Kristina before the challenge? To feel better?

Kristina: *smiles* No, I just need some extra love

Deanna hugs her and brings her back to the table to talk with everyone. Please note how Kristina did not wash that big pile of dishes in front of Yasmine either...

Nicola: I mean I thought about cutting my hair but I feel that would just make it easier for the shampoo to get to my face

Arista: Depends how short you want to go. I don't have any problems

Yasmine: I hope we get to do an outdoors challenge today

Kristina: I would love that, maybe a gardening challenge

Nicola: I love gardening, it's such fun!

Nephinae: Back home I built these raised planter beds with a full irrigation system...

Arista: Do you have pictures? I just hope the challenge isn't swimming

Evie: *laughs* I think you'd have the advantage there

Deanna: It's not a swimming challenge

Nicola: I just want it to be something I can enjoy

Evelyn: *shocked* But Nic, you already had a date and bonus points. Did you not enjoy those ones?

Nicola: *carefully* I enjoyed winning

Evelyn: *sighs wistfully* I wish I was good at stuff I didn't like. It would make assignments easier

Nephinae: I think anyone can be good at most things, there's just a learning curve first

Arista: I am really good at bouquet catching at my sisters weddings now

Yasmine: Are all six married? That must have been good practice for catching

Arista: They are, and I reckon by wedding three I knew where to stand

The contestants enter a costume department of a local film company.

Luna: Guten Morgen. You haven't met me yet but I'm Luna Villareal. Before I fell for Deanna's older sister I was an active member of the paragons, a group that loves to dress up. So for this challenge to win a date with my sister-in-law, we're going to be doing some dress up. Drumroll please

*group taps a drumroll*

Devin: Ta-da!

Devin strides out in one of her signature outfits from the Starlight Accolade winning Pirates of the Aegean.

Devin: What can I say? I'm optimistic about a sequel

Devin: My wife loves fashion, and I basically play dress up to pay the bills. Today we have some of my friends coming in to help you dress up. Our themes are earth and land, wind and spirit, water and sea as well as fire and light. We'll be picking themes randomly, then you'll have the help of Luna, me, some paragons and some of my co-stars to pick your outfits. Once you're decided Rudolphous, who does all my film make-up, will apply the finishing touches and we'll get you in front of a camera

Watchers Note: Since art is subjective I did not want to choose the winners myself. They will be decided by charisma skill levels. That is coming in the next part, this part is all about celebrating the creativity of simmers. Don't forget you can post your own creations on your page once they've debuted here, I would love to make sure people can see them! This challenge is inspired by the dress up challenges @cawthorntales does for his BC's.

On with the show.

Nicola's Theme - Wind and Spirit

Nicola: I LOVE dressing up! Miss Frizzle is my practically my idol. I don't dress up as much as she does, and I also don't have a magic bus, *sad violin music* but the students love a theme day and they make me feel like a kid again!

Nicola chooses to soar amongst the clouds with her outfit. Henford has beautiful blue skies and Nicola has many memories of cloud gazing as she was growing up with her brother. It's a way to connect with home.

Nephinae's Theme - Fire & Light

Nephinae: Oh watcher, these sims aren't ready for me.

Nephinae chooses to pay homage to fire in nature- the glow and burn of magma. When Volcanoes show their might, that's where you'll fine her. The heat pushing from under the crust of the earth.

Arista's Theme - Fire & Light

Arista: Oooo sounds fun! I never bothered with dress up when I was a little boy, so I suppose it's about time I give it a try!

So much for killing with fire, Arista has become new in the flames. From the ashes of her past this trans woman rises like a phoenix, becoming her own light and true self.

Evelyn's Theme: Water & Sea

Evie: Ooh, fun!

Water flows all over the surface of the earth. It is a powerful force, yet it still bends to the will of the moon. Day is not the only time the ocean is alive.

Yasmine's Theme - Earth & Land

Yasmine: *confused* I never thought too much about what I wear, but if it matters for this challenge, I guess I will try. At least the theme seems right up my alley

A truer statement has never been spoken! Nature loving Yasmine takes the theme head on and basks in the choices. So much so that she finds eight outfits she cannot pick between! Was there really any other outcome for Earth's biggest fan?

Kristina's Theme - Wind & Spirit

Kristina: I'm not the biggest fan of dressing up. It can be really fun, but I love being outdoors, being comfortable, and you can't really climb a lot of trees in a costume. But the theme of this one speaks to my soul. The natural elements that make up our beautiful planet; it's such a cool idea!

Death being the end, such a strange concept. Spirits can linger… Unobserved by humans, a spirit's movements may be seen only by the creatures of the world under the light of the moon. Their presence felt only by windchimes, casting sound into the darkness.

[wonderjanga]

I love your headcanons!!! Do you think that with Fawcett being a time bubble and magical influence and when new technology is introduced to the city that it changes? Like the engineers study magic as well due to the proximity to the Rock of Eternity? I'd imagine like perpetual motion machines do exist and parts of the plumbing system are fantastical magic animals. Like the old telephone wires are autonomous snake-like entities that Marvel has to untangle sometimes. (They do get tangled up). It's all very surreal and dream logic stuff.

I would love to see what's under the hoods of their cars. Do they run on pixie dust or dragon tears? Are there small sprites keeping it all together?

I’ve actually never really thought about this but here are some ideas! I think they would study magic when getting engineering degrees cause I’m pretty sure they’d just think of it as apart of engineering maybe. Like for example, when building houses they’d make fairy doors in certain places. I also think that instead of Lightbulbs for street lamps they hire fairies every night to make themselves light up. They get payed in pretty stones. Detectives can hire ghosts to help solve crimes. I think their cars run on either, but they’d be higher quality gas so most people would use normal gas. I also think there would be lawyers who work specifically with cases about fae. There’s gonna be lawyers to get that first born back. People might use magical herbs in everyday cooking too. Like someone might get a dried leaf called mystic petals because when ground up, they taste similar to sugar. (The plant makes hair, skin, and eye color more vibrant) One of the teachers at an elementary school is a Lich that has nothing better to do but teach. Or a Centaur works as a PE teacher. I also think that Fawcett could be so affected by magic that the buildings and sidewalks could be sentient. Like a little kid’s about to trip on a crack and the pavement moves the crack out of the way. Or someone who’s vandalizing a building gets hit in the face when the building pushes a brick out. Certain roads seal up their potholes, and maybe Billy is running down an alley being chased or something and the alley walls close up behind him cutting his pursuers off. The flowers grow all year around in a certain part of a city, it could be hot all the time in another, it could snow frequently in another, and trees could start turning orange and letting leaves fall in another because of the presence of spring, summer, fall, and winter fairies who split Fawcett up into small kingdoms. Billy oversees their diplomatic affairs. You find Santa at the grocery store buying cookie mix because “it’s cheaper here than at the North Pole”. The Spirit of Halloween would start pestering people in beginning of September to put up their Halloween decorations. The Easter Bunny would be a local attraction to go see, as it would be in a meadow every Easter making eggs and giving them to other bunnies to go hide. There’d be tones of restaurants in Fawcett with from from multiple creatures. You can go to a small place on 45th, where you can order from fairies who make sandwiches and soups using traditional fairy recipes and herbs. Or a small stand ran by orcs who sell Owlbear on a stick and roasted Blood Hawk legs. There could be a pair of yetis who sell snow cones using snow from the Himalayas. They have human flavors like grape, and yeti flavors using fruits grown from their tribes. When zombies crawl out of their grave, there’s insurance for both the damage to the coffins and the ruined grave and for people who get bitten. Doctors tweaked the polio vaccine for zombification. Wind elementals help people they favor when they fall. Water elementals help move snow from roads. Earth elementals help with construction. Fire elementals help melt down metals for jewelry stores and factories. Harpies sing for crowds. Gelatinous Cubes can be used as lubricants for machinery and extremely strong glues. I also think the rock messed with time. There are dinosaurs displayed at the zoo. Certain buildings look like they’re from different eras. Gothic architecture, favored by vampires. Victorian architecture. Neoclassical architecture. Also there are wyvern. Though they’re all the size of vultures. They’d have multiple different scale colors which have been made into jewelry or bags. Animal rights activists heavily protested that, and did the same thing they would do to mink coats in the 90’s to the dragon scale items. They threw paint on them. Mimics have exterminators to sniff them out. Shapeshifters wear certain tags while in magical form so they won’t get flagged for animal patrol. There’s also a bunch of other races such as lamia, gorgons, lizard people, homuncules, and goblins.

[sanjoongie]

𝒟𝒶𝓎 𝒯𝓌𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓎-𝐹𝑜𝓊𝓇~ 𝒫𝑒𝓇𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓉 𝒦𝒾𝓃𝓀

The Menu

🤍Pairing: pervert/subway groper! Kim Hongjoong x special agent! Reader (f)

🤍Au: sci fi,

🤍Trope: police/criminal

🤍Genre: smut

🤍Rating: 18+, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

🤍Warnings: ⚠dubcon/cnc⚠, pervert kink, outer job, breast play, praise kink, restraints (handcuffs), groping/molesting, ruined cum panties

🤍Word Count: 1,747

🤍Summary: as an agent of the special division devised to take down subway gropers, you slowly succumb to wanting to be a target instead of capturing yours.

🤍Day Twenty-Three: Seonghwa | Masterlist | Day Twenty-Five: Mingi🩵

Hongjoong was a pervert. You knew this, and it had been your utter downfall.

In the future, where perverts groping women on the autonomous trains and cars that took them wherever they needed to go became a problem due to the lack of humans policing anything within those confines, you became a part of a special task force that hunted down these perverts. Equipped with a device that could read sexual arousal in the air due to exhaling, it was your task to take down these men, one at a time. Or in multiples if the situation called for it.

There was one particular criminal with the pseudonym Laughing Gas, aka Kim Hongjoong. The man was known to walk around with a mask, presumably to halt the release of the chemicals that indicated arousal. However, the man was known to let out a shudder-inducing giggle before he began groping his next victim. The laugh, combined with the mask, led to his pseudonym.

You had been tracking him for a long time. At first, you attempted to capture him the minute he touched an unsuspecting individual, but Hongjoong seemed to always be one step ahead of you and got away. Then, you developed a system of allowing Hongjoong to get sucked into his fantasy, but that was your downfall.

You had watched him countless times grope and molest women; he drove them to whining, moaning messes with his hands and his cock. It wasn’t long before you developed a perverted need to feel what it was like to be whipped into a frenzy by Kim Hongjoong.

“I’m going in myself,” you announced to your boss.

Yeosang frowned at you over his desk, mid collection of Hongjoong’s file. “Are you serious?”

You nodded firmly. “I can’t risk any other innocent women, Captain. It’s gotta be me.”

Yeosang shook his head like he was unsure. “That’s like risking death to catch a serial killer.”

“Sir,” You met Yeosang’s eyes solemnly, “I have to catch him. Once and for all.”

So that’s how you found yourself, without backup, in a crop top and short skirt. You were grabbing the train during peak home travel time. You found the perfect spot, too, right by the door. It would appear as if you wanted a quick getaway, but you knew that the space where the doors opened up was Hongjoong’s favorite location to molest a target.

All it took was one jostled bump from another passenger, and you were pressed up against the glass of the door and someone’s front pressed to your back.

“Good evening, special agent,” a voice said from behind you. It was slightly muffled, as if something was covering it.

Bingo. Hongjoong had locked onto you. Except you weren’t as incognito as you planned on. He knew who you were?

“Pleasure to make your acquaintance finally, Laughing Gas,” you replied.

Hands ran up your ribcage and then lightly cupped your breasts. “No, special agent, the pleasure is all mine,” Hongjoong said, a happy sigh escaping his lips.

It took everything in you to not join the man. “Pathetic,” you hissed. “Shouldn’t you be running the other way? You knew this was a trap.”

“Oh but the honey was just too sweet,” Hongjoong hummed.

Those fingers gripped your breasts through the flimsy material and began to jostle them, feeling the weight of them in his hands. An errant thumb brushed against your nipple and you felt it tighten in response. So did Hongjoong.

“If I manage to bring you in, you’ll make my career,” you boasted.

“You’re making my career right fucking now,” Hongjoong growled.

Your shirt was yanked up unceremoniously, bralette not a concern, as he pulled and teased your nipples into stiff peaks. You had to swallow a moan that was threatening to spill from your lips and ruin your entire mask.

“Why just stop at molesting my breasts, hmmm? Isn’t my sweet hole a temptation, too?”

Hongjoong groaned. You knew he’d be biting down on his lower lip at this point, hungry for the next step, perhaps just as much as you were. You had seen him do it enough with all his other targets.

One hand abandoned your breast, in lieu of other spoils. It floated over your ass, soft, featherlight touches. “Do you know how much of a delight this is for me? The special agent dressed up just for me? All I have to do is flip over this skirt, and it’s all over for the both of us.”

“I wore a pretty thong just for you, Hongjoong. Because the minute you stick your cock inside of me, I’ve got you, you fucking pervert,” You cursed.

“Hmmm?” Hongjoong hummed, sounding dreamy and thoughts clouded with lust. “That sounds like a challenge, special agent. How about I just use your thighs?”

You almost whimpered. You wouldn’t get to feel his thick cock stretch you? This might be your only chance…

“I guess we’ll find out if I get my handcuffs on your wrists or not, won’t we?” You sneered.

“Oh, these handcuffs?”

You heard a click and your heart beat out of your chest. When the fuck had he dived his hands into your bag and fished those out? You looked up to confirm Hongjoong had indeed handcuffed you to one of the metal poles that you had been holding onto to brace against the door.

“You fucker,” You swore.

You had the key. It was around your neck. But to think that you now had one less hand and you were even more at the mercy of Hongjoong…made you simply wet in anticipation of what was to come.

You heard a belt jingle and a zipper being pulled down. Hongjoong gasped and hummed lightly as he must have rubbed his cock in preparation for you. “I’m so fucking hard for you, special agent. You’re all mine, at this moment, do you understand?”

You felt your thong being moved and then the push of Hongjoong’s cock against your wet folds. Hongjoong chuckled and it sent goosebumps along your skin. “You’re so wet for me. Either you really enjoyed your tits being played with or you’re the perfect target for me, special agent.”

You shifted on your feet, which caused Hongjoong to growl. “Stay still.”

Your underwear slid back into place, and you finally understood Hongjoong’s plan. Your underwear kept his cock in place and he began to rock his hips. His cock played against your wet folds, and while being stuck between your underwear as well, he fucked your thighs.

You bit down a whimper as the head of his cock played against your clit as his cockhead pushed against the front of your underwear. A swift look down confirmed the motion, your skirt pushing forward as his cock came out the other side of your legs.

One hand still groping your tit, Hongjoong placed the other on your hip and continued to fuck himself between your thighs. “There’s a good girl,” Hongjoong crooned. “You’re doing so well for me. Are you sure you’re here to catch me? Or are you here to finally get a taste of what you’ve been missing out on.”

“Sh-shut u-up,” you stuttered, barely able to keep your gasps in.

“Feels good, huh?” Hongjoong chuckled darkly. “Your body can’t hide what your lips search to. Why, special agent, are you enjoying getting molested by this pervert?”

“Absolutely not!” You whined, throat tight with need.

Hongjoong’s breathing kept hitting the back of your neck, hot and quick. “You feel so good like this, my perfect little target,” Hongjoong whimpered.

Your hips started to rock with the motions of Hongjoong’s dick rubbing against your hole and spreading your wetness to your clit and back again. This tease felt so fucking good and so fucking taboo. Hongjoong knew if he penetrated you, you could charge him to the full degree. But if he didn’t, there was a lower penalty for bringing him in. He knew the laws probably just as well as you did.

You had to get him to penetrate you.

“Please, Hongjoong,” you pleaded. “Are you tempted to fuck me?”

You clenched down on nothing but Hongjoong’s shaft felt the whispers of your pussy lips. He hissed at the hint that your cunt wanted him. His blunt nails dug into your hip harshly. “You’re playing a dangerous game, special agent.”

“You were right,” you whimpered. All matter of facade was lost. You needed Hongjoong inside of you for personal and professional reasons. “I love all of this. I couldn't wait to get your hands all over me. Now’s your only chance, Hongjoong. If you don’t fuck me now, you never will.”

Hongjoong groaned and lightly bit down on the nape of your shoulder. “Don’t tempt me with a good time.”

“Come on,” you encouraged him. You pushed out your ass to a better angle for him to penetrate you. “Isn’t this the best prize? To fuck the special agent that’s been doing her best to capture you and put a halt to all your fun. Wouldn’t that be something to crow about, to have fucked me full of your cum?”

Hongjoong’s hips continued to rut against your ass and your dirty talk was a little too effective. Hongjoong didn’t penetrate you, but he sent you both towards your climaxes. You could feel his cum drip down your thighs and you watched as a wet spot formed on the front of your skirt. You choked on your orgasm, trying to keep it quiet.

“I think it’d be much better if we continue playing this game, special agent,” Hongjoong teased.

You felt him pull out from between your thighs, and when you turned around, he was already gone. He disappeared through the crowd. And you were still handcuffed to the damn metal pole.

You tapped your comms on your ear and sighed heavily. “Laughing gas has fled. I repeat, Laughing Gas has fled.”

“Status?” Yeosang’s voice sounded slightly static in your ear.

High off an orgasm from being molested in a subway car.

“I’m fine, Captain,” You said instead.

Hongjoong’s cum rubbed against your pussylips, having ruined your underwear and your life. Seemed like a pretty solid reminder that you had failed to capture him--and his dick. Perhaps there will be a next time.

In fact, you sincerely hoped there would be. You wanted him to imprint the shape of his dick inside of you.

Hongjoong wasn’t the pervert. It was, in fact, you instead.

🤍Day Twenty-Three: Seonghwa | Masterlist | Day Twenty-Five: Mingi🩵

[lotuzies]

izzy's ⋆. 𐙚 ̊ realities

VAMPIRE REALITY main ⋆˚꩜｡

— 𝜗𝜚.ᐟ the ultimate teenage dream, but set in a secret vampire society — virethia. raised since 1849 by the rulers of the land valora, heads of the house sanguis, i, the it girl of virethia, get to have fun and mess around with my (just as) elite friend group while managing the responsibilities passed to me by my parents. things take a turn when i meet the cutest figure skater ever, a human who's parents hate my species with their guts.

KPOP REALITY main ⋆˚꩜｡

— 𝜗𝜚.ᐟ izzy, the famous idol from the international sensation kpop girl group CRYSTAL. currently with 6 years and counting in the industry, me alongside my girls have become some of the most influential people globally. despite my impact, i prefer to spend my time writing and producing my silly little songs to express myself, and inspiration specially strikes the moment i find myself in an annoyingly tense love triangle between the ex-boyfriend of my teenage years and the sweet guy i met at the producing rooms.

FUTURISTIC REALITY ⋆˚꩜｡

— 𝜗𝜚.ᐟ a few hundreds years into the future, technology has evolved at a rapid pace and made a huge breakthrough, more and more autonomous every day. set in an almost dystopian world where everything is just a click away, hell, now almost anyone is allowed into space! i currently work as a galactic spy under an organization who works to break the unfair system that rules us, you know, doing the bad for a greater good.

EQUESTRIA GIRLS REALITY ⋆˚꩜｡

— 𝜗𝜚.ᐟ i started believing in fate when my childhood friend group rekindles in high school, only to discover the eight of us now have superpowers. nonetheless, we're still just silly normal teenage girls who, as one does, decide to start a band. late girl nights writing songs together, sharing clothes, taking funny pictures of each other, possibly falling in love with a certain overly confident (yet really cool!) guitarist...

BETTER REALITY ⋆˚꩜｡

— 𝜗𝜚.ᐟ the unapologetic personification of a mary sue! set in a reality where i never refused to enter that modeling agency, living in a big and comfy house where i can invite the many many friends i (easily) make. top tier grades in the classes i'm happy to take to follow my dreams, crazy face card and snatched body. what can i say... baddest bitch alive.

SPIDERVERSE REALITY ⋆˚꩜｡

— 𝜗𝜚.ᐟ saving lives here and there as the one and only spider-phantom, the spider-man variant of earth-0044. miguel's biggest hater, evidently so after disobeying him and helping miles morales get out of all the troubles he got in, which may or may not get us stuck in a completely different and unknown earth, but hey!, at least we fall in love.

MY HERO ACADEMIA REALITY ⋆˚꩜｡

— 𝜗𝜚.ᐟ is that... starfire in real life?! no! it's actually just me, starlight hero: cosmica. after moving to musutafu to enter the famous U.A. high school, my star-sent quirk quickly stands out in the crowd of aspiring heroes.

SALLY FACE REALITY ⋆˚꩜｡

— 𝜗𝜚.ᐟ yet another normal day in the crappy addison apartments, a new school year is about to begin, when my brother larry introduces me to his new friend, sal fisher. the masked blue haired boy quickly becomes part of our little friend group who now goes on many ghost hunting trips. some of these trips are only for me and sal, how romantic.

JUJUTSU KAISEN REALITY ⋆˚꩜｡

— 𝜗𝜚.ᐟ descendant of an ancient clan, i get an offer to enter tokyo jujutsu high to learn more about my technique which full power i have yet to discover.

[fuckyeahisawthat]

@spectraling I feel like you have blown my third eye wide open with the idea of the Hexcore taking on some of Viktor's personality and attributes. Like. The idea of Viktor creating a thing that shares his goals, that genuinely wants to help him help people, at a time when he's starting to feel like maybe Jayce doesn't share that goal with him anymore? I think he's doing it all subconsciously but. Creating a thing that's a reflection of his own mind, an echo instead of another truly autonomous human that can challenge him when he starts going off the rails? An endless feedback loop of yes-and, supporting and encouraging him but also enabling his own blind spots and increasingly extreme ideas?

But also. Creating something that's not just using him for its own ends but that genuinely cares for him, that comforts him, that loves him?? (Except that love is a terrifying unstoppable force. Love that wants to crawl inside you and consume you. Love that says we'll die if we are parted from each other. Separating us will be like ripping a hole in your own body. But maybe there is something he recognizes about that kind of love.)

All that is SO much more interesting than Magic Orb Evil. It fits so much better with the themes and parallels of the show. "I only wanted to help." The darkness of love. Devotion that enables someone's worst impulses. It's so much more twisted and tragic and in keeping with the tone of the show than the idea of the Hexcore just controlling him or manipulating him for its own ends. It's Viktor all the way down and also he's created this thing that has a will of its own and there will be unintended consequences.

It makes a lot of the Sky stuff snap into place for me too, if you think that Sky is a manifestation of the Hexcore. I still think she works equally well as an expression of Viktor's connection to his humanity, which he finally allows to burn away during his final transformation. And tbh I prefer symbolism that's open to multiple interpretations. But things like Sky reminding Viktor that "all systems have limits" make a lot more sense if you think of Sky as an avatar of a Hexcore that genuinely cares about him, that's protective (if maybe also a little bit possessive.) Because frankly, this doesn't sound like something Viktor would say to himself. Nor does it sound like something that a Hexcore bent simply on relentlessly consuming everything in its path would encourage him to believe. It sounds like something his PARTNER would say.

(There is a whole other post to be made about Viktor and Sky in the astral plane and how astral plane Viktor is much more free with both giving and accepting touch than we ever see him in the physical realm, and astral Sky is MUCH more touchy with Viktor than the real Sky ever was: clasping his hands, sitting draped against his back. Something something inventing a ghost to soothe the gaping wound of loneliness inside you by accepting casual intimacy in your mind palace where no one can see. ANYWAY.)

The idea of the Hexcore being willing to protect him at the expense of others also fits with one of my pet headcanons, which is that the reason everybody in the commune reacted like that when Viktor got shot is that the Hexcore reflexively took a giant schlorp of everybody's life force, in a desperate attempt to keep Viktor and/or itself (is there a difference at this point?) alive.

Even the line about the "recursive impulse," which I've seen a lot of interpretations of but we never really know what it means. What if it's because the Hexcore is already a little bit Viktor and now it's inside him and that's just a hella confusing sensation to describe, like staring into a hall of mirrors?

But most of all I love this because holy fuck it is SO MUCH SADDER than any other interpretation I have seen. HE MADE HIMSELF A PARTNER. HE MADE HIMSELF THE PARTNER HE THOUGHT HE DIDN'T HAVE!!! WHEN JAYCE WAS RIGHT THERE THE WHOLE TIME!!!! Augh jesus hexcore christ I'm eating glass about it.

[argyrocratie]

"How will people get healthcare?

(...)

During the Spanish Civil War, Barcelona’s Medical Syndicate, organized largely by anarchists, managed 18 hospitals (6 of which it had created), 17 sanatoria, 22 clinics, 6 psychiatric establishments, 3 nurseries, and one maternity hospital. Outpatient departments were set up in all the principal localities in Catalunya. Upon receiving a request, the Syndicate sent doctors to places in need. The doctor would have to give good reason for refusing the post, “for it was considered that medicine was at the service of the community, and not the other way round.”[40] Funds for outpatient clinics came from contributions from local municipalities. The anarchist Health Workers’ Union included 8,000 health workers, 1,020 of them doctors, and also 3,206 nurses, 133 dentists, 330 midwives, and 153 herbalists. The Union operated 36 health centers distributed throughout Catalunya to provide healthcare to everyone in the entire region. There was a central syndicate in each of nine zones, and in Barcelona a Control Committee composed of one delegate from each section met once a week to deal with common problems and implement a common plan. Every department was autonomous in its own sphere, but not isolated, as they supported one another. Beyond Catalunya, healthcare was provided for free in agrarian collectives throughout Aragon and the Levant.

Even in the nascent anarchist movement in the US today, anarchists are taking steps to learn about and provide healthcare. In some communities anarchists are learning alternative medicine and providing it for their communities. And at major protests, given the likelihood of police violence, anarchists organize networks of volunteer medics who set up first aid stations and organize roving medics to provide first aid for thousands of demonstrators. These medics, often self-trained, treat injuries from pepper spray, tear gas, clubs, tasers, rubber bullets, police horses, and more, as well as shock and trauma. The Boston Area Liberation Medic Squad (BALM Squad) is an example of a medic group that organizes on a permanent basis. Formed in 2001, they travel to major protests in other cities as well, and hold trainings for emergency first aid. They run a website, share information, and link to other initiatives, such as the Common Ground clinic described below. They are non-hierarchical and use consensus decision-making, as does the Bay Area Radical Health Collective, a similar group on the West Coast.

Between protests, a number of radical feminist groups throughout the US and Canada have formed Women’s Health Collectives, to address the needs of women. Some of these collectives teach female anatomy in empowering, positive ways, showing women how to give themselves gynecological exams, how to experience menstruation comfortably, and how to practice safe methods of birth control. The patriarchal Western medical establishment is generally ignorant of women’s health to the point of being degrading and harmful. An anti-establishment, do-it-yourself approach allows marginalized people to subvert a neglectful system by organizing to meet their own needs.

After Hurricane Katrina devastated New Orleans, activist street medics joined a former Black Panther in setting up the Common Ground clinic in one of the neediest neighborhoods. They were soon assisted by hundreds of anarchists and other volunteers from across the country, mostly without experience. Funded by donations and run by volunteers, the Common Ground clinic provided treatment to tens of thousands of people.

The failure of the government’s “Emergency Management” experts during the crisis is widely recognized. But Common Ground was so well organized it also out-performed the Red Cross, despite the latter having a great deal more experience and resources.[41] In the process, they popularized the concept of mutual aid and made plain the failure of the government. At the time of this writing Common Ground has 40 full-time organizers and is pursuing health in a much broader sense, also making community gardens and fighting for housing rights so that those evicted by the storm will not be prevented from coming home by the gentrification plans of the government. They have helped gut and rebuild many houses in the poorest neighborhoods, which authorities wanted to bulldoze in order to win more living space for rich white people."

-Peter Gelderloos, "Anarchy Works" (2010)

[sophieinwonderland]

Four Essential Features Of a Headmate

What is this for?

The goal here is to create an objective criteria for what is or isn't a headmate. This criteria can be useful for questioning systems, for plural media analysis, for studying plural groups that don't identify by the label, for differentiating between different types of entities within a system, and for tulpamancers wanting to better judge when a tulpa goes from a proto-headmate to a full headmate.

Nobody is forced to use these criteria if they don't think it fits for their system.

It's important to note that each feature here needs to be somewhat present, but these features don't need to be strong.

If you rated an entity on a scale of 0 to 10 on each of these and it gets all 1s, it's a headmate. Conversely, if it gets all 10s but has a single 0, it doesn't fit the criteria. Essentially, the degree that these qualities are present does not matter for determining if it's a headmate.

Autonomy

An entity is autonomous when it can think for itself and make its own decisions. An autonomous entity will not feel like you're controlling it. This entity thinks for itself and makes its own decisions, and feels emotions that seem real.

If an autonomous entity is sad, for example, you can't simply fix it by imagining it being happy again.

Autonomous entities may sometimes do things that surprise you or act in ways you can't predict.

If they're very strong willed, you may come to arguments with each other. But arguments aren't required to demonstrate autonomy and expecting arguments to prove an entity can think for itself can lead to toxic dynamics. Any level of autonomy is sufficient to fulfill this criteria.

Importance: Being able to imagine conversations with someone and to direct those conversations is a pretty common skill possessed by most singlets. Additionally, imaginary friends of children can come in different varieties. Some are autonomous, being able to control their own actions, while others are not, being fully controlled by the host child.

Perspective

A headmate must have its own perspective it can think from. This does not mean necessarily "seeing" in 1st person in the inner world or something of that nature, but pertains more to how it relates to others in the system.

A headmate with its own perspective can acknowledge itself as its own self in some form. It might say something to another member like "I think you should listen to me more often." Statements like this acknowledge itself as something separate from the other members.

While all that's necessary is to have that base level of perspective, for those who want to develop a headmate more, an advanced version of this that should be encouraged is introspection. This is a headmate thinking about themselves and their own nature, and can be fostered by asking them questions about themselves.

Importance: It's common for singlets to feel internal conflict and to think about this through an internal monologue. This might looks something like this: "I really want to take this cookie from the cookie jar. I'm trying to watch me weight. But I worked hard today so I deserve a treat."

When a singlet describes a sense of "part of me wants X but another part of me wants Y," this is the type of conflict they're generally referring to. The thing about these parts is that they often don't feel like separate people because they lack dissociation between them.

This criteria is to help distinguish between dissociative and non-dissociative parts.

Note: sometimes, even a denial can end up implying perspective. Even just saying, "I'm just part of you" carries an implication that there is an "I" and a "you."

Memory

Specifically, autobiographical memory of in-system experiences

A headmate should be able to recall past interactions that they've had. Recall of course does not need to be perfect. Even most singlets don't have perfect recall of their lives, and dissociative barriers can complicate matters. One of the core features of dissociative identity disorder is amnesia, after all.

The bare minimum is at least one memory of an event you experienced from a different day. Also, because amnesia can be episodic and be worse at times, this does not need to be constant. Having an episode where you can't remember anything about your past doesn't retroactively make you less of a headmate. (Although I suppose that if you are able to remember that you used to remember things, that itself is a memory about yourself. 🤷‍♀️)

I cannot reiterate enough that the memories can be very basic and do not need to be in vivid detail. They do not even need to be visual. As long as you have a sense of "I did this, I thought this before, I felt this way," or anything of that sort, it is enough of a memory to qualify.

Importance:

This is to help distinguish from temporary entities. In other posts, I have called these temporary headmates ephemerals. An ephemeral is an entity that exists for only a short time. It does not maintain memory or a consistent sense of self outside of memories assigned to it. For example, there is a popular practice writers may use where they will interview a character in their head. These characters may seem to have their own perspective and they may seem autonomous at the time. But they only exist briefly for the length of the interview. When the interview is over, the character is gone.

If you imagine a scene with that character again, the character in the scene will not remember you. If you interview them again, it will be like the first time you've ever spoken. Ephemerals are not headmates. They are temporary and not built to last. And there is no moral obligation to continue interacting with them.

A very common example of an ephemeral is a dream character. Dream characters are contained within their dream and when the dream ends, will disappear. Being able to create these types of temporary simulations of people is an innate human ability and these sorts of temporary entities aren't really part of the system.

Gnosis

I have previously referred to this as meta-awareness. But I am using gnosis here because I'm sticking with the one word theme for these qualities. There isn't really a word that exists that completely describes this so I will be using my own definition.

Gnosis means knowledge. In gnosticism, this was a specific type of knowledge that would allow one to ascend to a higher level of existence.

So in relation to plurality, this is knowledge of the existence of the external reality beyond the inner world or the fiction that the character originates from. You do not need to identify as a headmate for this to be true. You don't even need to feel like a part of the system. But you need to have the KNOWLEDGE that the body exists in an external reality outside of the inner world.

Importance: this is to help differentiate hadmates from other types of daydream characters or writing characters. A normal daydream character only operates in the daydream. They should not be aware of a real world outside of that daydream. Likewise, a writing character has no knowledge of the writers or the external world, and only exists within its own narrative.

A writing character may appear to have their own perspective and be somewhat autonomous when imagining scenes with them. But if a writing character becomes a headmate, the character may start to talk to the writer about the book. They may complain about the way the writer is writing them within the fiction. This is a writing character that has undergone gnosis. They have ascended beyond their fiction and developed awareness of the external reality.

The checklist

Autonomy: Does the entity have some level of independence where you are not consciously controlling them?

Perspective: Does the entity possess its own perspective with some level of awareness of itself as being its own thing separate to some degree from other entities within the system?

Memory: is the entity the same being in different times and places? If you had a conversation with it one day, could you ask it again about that conversation another day and have it remember?

Gnosis: Does the entity possess knowledge of the external world, the body, and its life?

If the answer is yes to all these questions, then you have a headmate on your hands.

And just because something isn't currently a headmate, doesn't mean that the potential isn't there. In the next section I want to discuss some techniques to help a headmate develop these features.

Tulpa Tips

Having gotten the basics out of the way, let's discuss on how to build these traits. This is a brief guide for developing full headmates from entities that are only lacking in one of the above traits.

Autonomy: if there is a character that you have imagined a lot but it feels like you are controlling them and you want this character to become a full headmate, just try letting go of the reins. Ask the character questions, and wait for a response. Do not try to dictate the response, and when the response comes, accept it. If the response is weird, ask them for further elaboration. But don't try to correct it or rewind or otherwise control the proto-headmate. You want to train your brain to produce the headmate's thoughts without any conscious input from yourself. See: Overcoming Parrotnoia for advice on conquering the fear you may be unconsciously controlling your headmate.

After enough time training autonomy, you are likely to find that you can't control them even when actively trying. But do not test this while you are training autonomy. Do not try to control the headmate during this period because these tests can set back or interfere with your progress.

Perspective: if you have a non-headmate part that you want to become a headmate, try to identify features of that part and when it influences you. Reframe the part as its own entity in your head, ask it what it wants to be called so that you can give a name to it.

These sorts of parts, in theory, should already have autonomy and should be able to respond when questioned. You are not making something new, you are just helping something that is already there differentiate itself more from you.

While just treating it like its own separate person is enough to achieve the bare minimum, I would advise continuing to ask it introspective questions to encourage it to think of itself as its own person. Especially things that are unrelated to its original role, whatever that was. And try to expose it to new experiences where you can.

Memory: The key to memory is making sure that you are interacting with the same instance of the character every time. If this is something that you are struggling with, my advice would be to end every session that you interact with your proto-headmate by asking them what they want to do the next time you interact with them. This will signal to the brain that this isn't done yet and that it needs to "save" this particular instance of the entity rather than creating a new one the next time. Then when you interact with them again, try to start off by asking them questions about the previous times that you have interacted with them in order to ensure that the memories have stuck. (These types of questions also encourage introspection.)

Gnosis: Of all of these qualities, this one is actually the easiest to reliably induce. You can trigger a gnosis event simply by telling a character with the other qualities about the outside world. Ideally, you should try to show them mental images and memories as well. You can also try imposing them externally so that they can see the outside world for themselves and walk around the space the body occupies.

As a warning, be aware that a well-developed entity discovering that the world that it knew was created from someone's head can sometimes trigger an existential crisis. While this is the easiest quality to attain, it also carries a risk if it's not attained before the other qualities. On the other hand, some headmates may enjoy the revelation and the new option that give them. Especially since they can now theoretically shape the inner world to their desires. Just be ready to catch them in case they fall when revealing this.

Conclusion

Thank you so much for reading! 😁

If you enjoyed this post and my categorizations, you may also enjoy my posts on headmate Foundations and Manifestations, and the Dimensions of Fronting.

[megamhafan]

I know the general consensus is that escape from camazotz will be an Eddie thing but I’ll do you one better.

Camazotz is described a wrinkle in time as,

“The first appearance of Camazotz (directly under IT's control) is in the Suburban Community. There is one road leading to a cul-de-sac. The houses on the road are all identical, with what appears to be a very strict, autonomous schedule”

It’s a strict and conformist system, much like the town of Hawkins. The other definition for camazotz is,

“Camazotz means "death bat" in the Kʼicheʼ Mayan language. It's a figure in Mesoamerican mythology, particularly prominent in Maya tradition, representing a bat-like deity associated with night, death, and sacrifice. Camazotz is often depicted as a cave-dwelling, dangerous creature”

We all had the theory that Eddie Munson would come back as “kas the bloody handed” the term bloody handed is pretty interesting..

“bloody-handed (comparative more bloody-handed, superlative most bloody-handed) Having hands that have blood on them. Murderous, guilty of or prone to violence or atrocities.”

So what if the two theories about this episode are both correct? As in Eddie does return and this is still a reference to the aforementioned novel?

It would go something like this I think.

After a battle with creatures from the upside down coming into the real world, perhaps our group is still being harassed and targeted for being queer apart of hellfire (specifically Dustin, will and Mike)

Maybe they try to leave into the upside down to deal with something down there, the military tries to stop them and isn’t allowing them to deal with it.

The episode after this is called the bridge, maybe they form something/use will to find another way into the upside down, one that the national guard doesn’t know about.

Supposedly Mike is the key, what if will is the key and Mike is the lock?

[bird-in-the-space]

Echoes of the Unknown

You meet the Autobots and finally learn about the war between them and the Decepticons.

Warnings: waking up, having tubes attached to you, and some social anxiety.

Chapter 9

--------------------------------

Voices reached your ears. They were muffled till they became clearer when you opened your eyes and found yourself staring at a rocky ceiling. It took you a moment to get your bearings, but you noticed the headache was gone and your stomach was not making twists and turns anymore. You felt better. You then noticed that you were lying on some kind of metallic bed and there were tubes attached to you. One was adding energon into your system and the other seemed to be removing something. It looked blue but was darker and more murky.  You also noticed the bruise beneath your arm was patched up. 

Questions finally popped into your head when you got back to your senses. Where are you? 

You leaned up your head, looking around the place, and to your shock, saw more robots. You recognized the blue and yellow robots from before, but now there was a big green one and one very big red and blue one. You saw Emily talking to the big one and saw Jack and Raf, but there was now also a girl with pink on her hair. 

Emily seemed to be explaining something as they all listened. You leaned up on your arms, trying to make sense of what they were saying while also taking in your new surroundings. It looked like some kind of hidden base.

“Hey, do not get up. The cleaning process isn’t finished yet,” Another robot suddenly appeared beside you. He was white and red and sounded like a grumpy old man. His appearance startled you. 

“Ah!” You yelped and smacked his hand away when he tried to touch you. 

Your sudden yelp and the bang of metals hitting together caught Emily’s and the other robots’ attention. 

You lay there frozen as they all looked at you. 

“(Name)! How are you feeling?!” Emily ran toward you, holding onto the safety railing of the platform she was standing on. 

“Better… " You uttered, looking at the robots and the place around you. 

“Where are we?” you asked.

“You’re in the Autobot base, a hidden silo that was provided to us by our human allies in the government,” the big red and blue robot explained. “You were brought here after Bumblebee and Arcee informed us of your condition,” he added.

You stared at him for a moment, feeling rather intimidated.

“Okay…” you answered, still a bit out of it. “What exactly happened? Why are we here?” you questioned, looking at Emily. 

“Due to the spoiled oils and the severe lack of energon in your system. Your whole frame went into a shutdown, which nearly led to a stasis lock. You are lucky you were brought here before your frame could sustain any serious damage. What were you thinking?! Drinking earth oils! Do you have any idea how unbelievably unhealthy that is? It is already a miracle you survived this long with severe energon deficiency, ” the white and red robot scolded you angrily. You assumed he was a medic as he kinda looked like an ambulance.

"And not only that, you tried to consume unprocessed energon like some earth food. You can't eat it in its rawest form," he added.

“Well, sorry, I didn’t know about energon till recently, ” you uttered, slightly annoyed by his tone. 

“Emily already explained your unique condition to us. I am Optimus Prime, we are autonomous lifeforms from the planet—” Before the big blue robot could continue, the girl with pink on her hair suddenly disrupted. 

“Dude! Did you really switch bodies with a con?” she asked loudly. 

“Uhm… yeah,” you answered awkwardly. 

“That’s so cool!” she exclaimed. 

“No… not really,” you shook your head, before turning toward Optimus and the… other bots. 

“So who are you guys exactly? And what are Decepticons?” You asked, remembering the yellow and the blue robot chased you because of it. 

“The Decepticons were the ones we saw yesterday and tried to come after us. Apparently, the con you inhabit is called a Vehicon,” Emily explained. 

“Okay, that still explains very little, “ you said. 

“Maybe we should start from the beginning, to help you understand everything you have experienced so far,” the big robot, Optimus, said. 

You nodded. “Well, I am all ears,” you said. 

The big robot, Optimus, told you about Cybertron and the ongoing war between the two factions, the Autobots, and the Decepticons. You listened attentively, nodding along as everything slowly began to make sense and how lucky you were in your yesterday’s trip.

“Taken your unique condition. You are welcome to stay with us. There is no knowing what the Decepticons would have done if they learned of your existence,” Optimus said. 

“Well, taken how you described them, I think it's safe to assume that they would not have done anything good,” you said.  

“Is there really no way for you to turn back human?” Jack asked. 

“No. Even if there was. It’s already too late. My human body is already beneath the earth because my funeral was two months ago,” you replied. 

“So, you’re stuck?” Raf asked. 

“Yeah. I’m stuck,” You said, looking down. 

“Prime!”

You jolted from the sudden new voice. A man dressed in a gray suit suddenly walked out of the elevator. You guessed he was from the military, but oh boy, he did not look happy about something. 

“I just got a report that a yellow Camaro and a blue wheeler was seen driving recklessly around town, chasing a purple car. You better have a good explanation,” he stopped when he saw Emily and you. 

“Uhh… hello,” Emily greeted. 

“Another one?!” he exclaimed. “And why is there a con here?” he pointed at you. 

“I can explain. The bots here have a good reason why we’re here. My name is Emily Walkerson and the con here isn’t actually a con, but my friend (Name) (Lastname),” Emily introduced herself and you. 

“Huh? Isn’t that a human name?” the man questioned with a raised brow.  

“That’s because I used to be a human, Mister…” you trailed off as you didn’t know his name. 

“Fowler. Special Agent William Fowler,” the man finally revealed his name, showing his badge and putting it back. “So let me get this straight. You used to be a human?!” he looked at you skeptically. 

“Allow me to explain. During our last summer camp. We had an accident and (Name) fell into a Decepticon mine, where she found an alien artifact, and that artifact caused (Name) to switch bodies with one of these Decepticons. Her human body died from the progress and she has been stuck as a con since,” Emily explained. 

“We met these bots today and they were kind enough to help (Name) because she was sick from the lack of energon. The chase happened because they startled us, and we are really sorry for the trouble, Agent Fowler,” Emily apologized as Fowler seemed calm about the explanation. 

“Wow. A smooth talker,” Miko remarked. 

“I see… Well, this is just going to add more papers to my desk,” Fowler uttered, shaking his head. 

“And how long has your friend been a con?” he asked. 

“Two months now,” Emily replied. 

“Taken (Name)’s unique condition. We have decided to allow her to stay at our base, Agent Fowler. Since her state is irreversible. It would be wiser to let her stay somewhere safe and where she can learn more about being a cybertronian,” Optimus spoke. 

“Well, I do not know what else to say, prime. A human mind in an alien body is not something we ever expected to happen. Do the cons know about this? You don’t think they might try taking advantage of her?” Fowler questioned, motioning at you. 

“For all they know, she is a Vehicon gone rogue. Something the Decepticons would not consider an important matter. However, I think it would be best for her to remain here, to avoid Decepticons gaining any interest in her,” Optimus explained. 

You looked into nothing for a moment. It was reasonable and staying here would probably keep you safe, but what if you had to stay here forever? The idea did not sound pleasant to you. 

“Very well. I will then get the paperwork done, assuming Miss Walkerson here is going to be a regular sight as well,” Fowler then retreated into the elevator and left. 

You sighed, feeling the tension leave your body. 

“That went better than expected,” the big green robot stated. 

“So, is Fowler like your liaison to the human world?” Emily looked toward Optimus. 

“That is correct. Agent Fowler might seem like a strict individual, but he is a valuable ally to us,” Optimus answered. 

“Well, most of the time,” the green robot added. 

“So, what now? We welcome Emily and (Name) to the team?” Jack asked. 

“I don’t mind. Plus I think it would be good for (Name) to have someone she knows around since she is still very new to all of this,” Emily said. 

“I’m not a kid you know?” you grumbled, crossing your arms while still lying on the metal bed. However, you did feel grateful for the suggestion. You would have not known how to interact with these bots by yourself because, like new people, they were complete strangers to you. 

“Cool! My name’s Miko by the way,” the girl with pink on her looked toward you. “That’s Bulkhead. That’s Bumblebee. That’s Arcee, and the doc bot here is Ratchet,” she said while pointing to each of the robots. ‘Ratchet’ grumbled under her introduction while you panicked.  You missed some of the names because you were not prepared for the sudden introduction spree. Who was who again?

“Uhm… hi?” 

“What is it like being a giant robot?” she then asked. 

“Ugh…” 

“Can you transform? Can you use your blaster arm? What was yesterday's trip like? Were you scared?” she asked a question after question. You began to feel dizzy from trying to think and find an answer to her questions. 

Luckily, Emily was your saving grace. 

“Miko. How about we leave the personal questions for later? (Name) still needs to rest and get fixed up,” Emily asked, laying her hands on the younger girl’s shoulders. 

You mentally thanked her for being an angel. You felt like you were going to explode moments ago. 

“She’s right, so how you all huss while I finish the cleaning progress,” the medic bot, ‘Ratchet’ you think his name was, said and waved his hand for them to go away. 

“Alright. Tell us when you’re done,” Emily said and you were left in peace. You lay on the metal bed, staring at the ceiling while thinking of everything you just learned. Cybertron. Autobots. Decepticons. It all sounded so unreal. Just what kind of permanent mess have you gotten yourself into?

[metanarrates]

if you choose to chain yourself next to the prisoner, you can survive what appears to be decades or even centuries without ever needing to eat or drink. if you get the "happy ending" after slaying the princess, you survive for so long afterwards that time loses all meaning. and yet, if you kill the nightmare, you starve to death eventually. why is that?

my suspicion is that it has something to do with our own awareness of our physical limitations.

as much as the princess is shaped by our perception of her, we are also shaped somewhat by our perception of ourselves. this is most obvious with the various voices, who seem to represent whatever trait was strongest in the previous chapter we played. but our perception comes up in a few other distinct moments, too. let's take the adversary for example.

and she does, too.

if you choose to fight the adversary, armed or unarmed, the stubborn will urge you to keep getting up, regardless of the narrator telling you you've died. you can survive death itself because you believe you can. pieces of you splattered on the walls, your organs hammered into a shape beyond recognition, your body a shambling, twitching mess - it doesn't matter. you keep getting up.

let's take the wild, as another example. if we reject the wild and turn inwards towards our fear/hatred, our unity with her unravels. as the narrator says, we remember we have a body. we stand on our two distinct feet once more, and encounter her, who is also a distinct, embodied creature. as much as her reality has changed, ours has too.

the prisoner doesn't starve. we don't experience anything physically unpleasant in her chapter if we chain ourselves up beside her. our awareness of our own biological reality and hers is next to nonexistent. but in the nightmare route?

the nightmare route is characterized by the paranoid's constant conscious maintenance of our autonomic nervous system. if he drops his concentration for even a second, the princess' presence will shut our organs down. we have never been aware of our own body more, and have also never believed more in its limitations. surviving biological failure seems like an impossibility. and so, it becomes one. we are only ever as embodied as we believe ourselves to be.

- the shifting mound, describing the shackled prisoner route