#and also stop speaking over ppl who actually experience these things

[hazedxhealing]

Having now processed and accepted that I was wrong in my quest for a DID diagnosis, I will now be putting every info-post I've made in my pinned when I re-write it.

Because I may have been wrong about *myself*, but this information could help someone else, and also the fight against endos isn't over.

I am now learning that ppl fake other things, too. That fight isn't over. Consider me an anti, I guess, but I won't stand for appropriation of excruciating mental illnesses.

[snekdood]

any time ive been scared or paranoid about something and ppl dismissed me bc of my past but i ended up being right- those ppl owe me 100 dollars.

[confused-disaster32]

Hi! So you can call this a rant or a vent or whatever I don't rlly care - I just wanted to put some of my opinions out there bc it is eating me inside out to keep my opinions on Alastor's sexuality and all of the discourse about him being shipped to myself.

Also i'd like to state that I'm writing this as someone who is aroace but has no actual wish to be in a romantic relationship and actually struggles to so much as picture what that's be like for myself. I would also like to state how I'm not speaking for the whole community and others will have different opinions to myself.

Firstly - aroace is a spectrum (as someone who is on the aroace spectrum btw) and I completely agree with ppl who say that it is a spectrum and shipping has always existed and you can't rlly stop an entire fandom. My only problem is when ppl completely ignore that he is aroace while doing this, bc to me it seems like there's so much potential to having him have to go through those types of emotions and to write him off as if he's completely allo not only can make some people feel unseen but also just isn't as fun.

Also I kind of believe that he'd possibly date someone for the entertainment - like even if he didn't exactly feel romantic attraction maybe he'd be willing to be around someone closely bc he might like the reactions he'd be getting. (example: he might've stayed in a relationship with Vox maybe not out of pure attraction but if he found out that affection could make the TV short-circuit? He'd be interested)

Adding to that, I personally do not actually ship him with anyone romantically due to his character + the fact that I am projecting my own distaste for romance on him but you do you ig.

Also, on the note of nsfw around him - sometimes you cannot stop a fandom, rule 34 exists and some people who are asexual sometimes may want to have sex and all of that stuff. Personally I think he'd probably be sex-repulsed due to the fact that he canonically has issues with being touched.

ALSO, i personally think that way too many people are brushing over the idea of putting Alastor in a QPR - like that would literally be so awesome.

Alastor x Rosie? Cute af (to me Rosie gives of aro vibes too, but more romance - favourable) like they're already besties and honestly I think that Rosie would defo help him figure out about his identity considering that he's quite obviously not all that sure about slang and stuff.

Vox x Alastor - It has the potential to be SO FUCKING FUN like, you get to experiment with how they feel for each other, maybe what Alastor's got going on bc he died before being aroace was rlly a thing and he'd be confused about how he felt about Vox for sure.

Lucifer x Alastor - I quite like it, ik that Lucifer is supposed to be with Lillith but she did take an extremely long hiatus on her family up in heaven so i think it's okay. Plus the idea of them bonding and becoming close due to Charlie is wonderful.

Even angel and Alastor - maybe after Val Angel doesn't want a super sexual relationship - maybe he's not all that interested in something purely romantic either and though I love huskerdust this would still be pretty cool.

Really all I'm saying is; be considerate. Incorporate the fact that Alastor is Aroace, even if you do ship him - in or out of QPRs - and ofc sometimes writing someone who is part of a group ur not in is difficult (coming from someone who often struggles in writing especially when it comes to romance) but taking a crack at it might actually turn out to be rlly cool.

But please don't ignore his aroace-ness, there's not a huge amount of aroace characters out there and acting like someone isn't can be annoying for ppl who want to find rep around their identity, esp if they haven't seen much before (I can relate and he was one of the first aroace characters I was introduced to after I found out what it meant).

So yeah, that's my piece.

[solar-sunnyside-up]

I feel so fucking helpless. since this is anonymous i'm gonna come right out and say it, I'm a minor, and because of that there is so fucking little I can do about anything, especially with conservative parents and it just feels like I'm constantly failing to live up to my own expectations and aspirations but also I understand that as a legal child it makes sense there's things that I can't do but it also just feels like massive fucking excuse.

The only activism I can do is from behind a fucking screen under a fake name by writing to politicians who i'm 90% never read my emails anyway but I still have to write cause I need to show that people do care about these issues and at the same time I can't vote on them I can't donate to causes I'm just suck screaming into the void and nothings there to scream back.

I barely talk to my friends about this because they're also unsure of the world we live in yeah, but their parents are progressive and listen to them and I don't wanna drag them down plus I've tried to get them more into this stuff and it just doesn't work and I don't know what to do about it and I can't talk to the school counselor about this cause I don't know her political leanings and in my experience you can't trust an adult with the location of your Halloween candy you really think she's gonna not snitch?

I just have to watch and listen and stay quiet about the adults in my life's actions cause if I speak up I risk losing the one route of activism I have.

I'm sorry if this is too long, or too personal, I don't know where else to talk about this. Sorry

Don't be sorry. Never, sprout, never be sorry for feeling anything but particularly the rage and horror you feel. It's well earned.

All of this is exactly how I felt as a teen too. Isolated, alone, helpless under capitalism and being a minor is it's own oppressed class within every other oppressed group your likely apart of. You have every right to feel this way. But if I can give one speck of hope to you? Take it or leave it of course, but..

I have also been writing emails like crazy and gentle parenting ppl in goverment. I've also heard back from almost all of them after 6+ months. Several things that the writing campaigns where trying to complish have actually gone through! Mainly the transit ones. We managed to revive an entire transit project in my city and got several more votes towards rent caps as examples within the last few months. Ppl are forced to read it wheather or not they reply, so do whatever you want and have fun where you can.

That being said, personally I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel and I couldn't get out of the nihilism hole until after my teens. I tried and tried to make the jump to absurdist theory but my brain just wasnt baked enough yet if you wanna place to vent or some books/music recs for it tho feel free to dm! There is a horrible but small change you won't stop feeling like this until they are over.

[vagabond-umlaut]

HIIII KIT <333333 you said you were okay w selfship asks so!!!!! here i am :33

first of all >:3 i’m a sucker for the falls first/falls harder dynamic, so!!! in your selfships, who fell first and who fell harder?? 🎤🎤 or did you both fall at the same time??? i need to knowwww!!! 

anddddd i also . love & adore….. sun/moon pairings……… 👉👈 so i’d love to know where your selfships fall on that scale too!!! :3 i get sun vibes from you but i could see moon too…. super curious to hear abt this one hehe

anyway!!!! ily kit <3333 i hope sukugo r treating you nicely!!!!! feral cat men smh…

AAAHHH ARIIi, TYTYTY FOR SENDING ME THESE QUESTIONS! I SERIOUSLY LOVE ANSWERING ASKS ON MY SELFSHIPS SM— i'm hugging u so very tightly rn *mwah mwah mwah* @twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat

who fell first? who fell harder?

kitoru

honestly speaking, the lore of my ship w satoru changes w the seasons 🤭🤭 but acc to the information i hv as of summer 2024, i'm the one who fell first. and 'toru is the one who fell harder. i fell for him a very long time ago— back when i was in my mid teens and he was in his early twenties. but nothing romantic happened then– wtv hints i gave him either went over his head or he intentionally side-stepped them. and i js stopped giving him hints after one or two failed attempts, js staying happy with staring at him from afar, or yk, relishing wtv moments i used to get him as being one of his acquaintances... [he used to see me as a 'friend'. i nvr thought he cld see me as a 'friend', haha] but yk, when we grew up, i crossed quite some distance into my twenties and he too entered his late twenties— this is when the tectonic plates of our relationship slowly started shifting. i cld feel it, but i did not want to hope once again js to get heart-broken a second time— satoru, however, felt the shift like an earthquake. it's like, one moment he was thinking of me like he wld think of a friend, but then smthng happened, and he was like, "oh. this isn't how i think of shoko or nanami. oh. oh."— and well, let's js say, satoru was not rly in the mood for dating... he was more like, "omggg, ily! i'll take care of u! i'll make sure u hv a happy life! why don't we get married engaged, hm?" [i love my men a bit yandere 😂]

kitkuna

i think, mr. darcy's words fit sukuna and my dynamics the best 😄— “i was in the middle before i knew that i had begun.” we did not hv a very normal start to our relationship. sukuna js abducted me from my family and made me his queen. and i js became his queen and began to live in his temple or palace or fort or wtv. and yeah, we js started living together the way two ppl married as if for tax benefits start living together under the same roof. tht is it... except, tht doesn't stay tht is it for long. usually, i wld be content w some yummy food, interesting books, and nice comfy clothes— but over time, i began to notice i was feeling stuff other than js content. over time, this heavy feeling inside my chest began to grow lighter and i began to feel freer— and i realised, it was because of this freedom i was experiencing here. smthng i nvr got to experience when i was w my family— that place was rly good, yeah. i was treated rly well. but i felt more like ' a bird inside a golden cage' there. this observation changed my perception of sukuna from a housemate to smthng more amiable, perhaps smthng more affectionate, and i tried to get closer to him, inch by inch— actually millimetre by millimetre, 'cause i love to test the waters 1st then dip my toe into it— and then one fine day, when i wake up from an afternoon nap and i find sukuna sitting at the table, totally immersed in scrolls of poetry... an odd thing happens in my chest— which occurs again at dinner a few nights later... when i notice him eating as messily as ever— smthng which repeats when i catch him napping one day, akin a big cat lounging in the shade— a phenomenon which starts to happen multiple times a day very very soon... needless to say, i quickly diagnose it as a case of falling in love w my hubby 😌😌 as for sukuna... i don't rly think he feels love... he kidnapped me 'cause he was lwk intrigued by me. [idk why] he married me 'cause he grew highkey intrigued by me. [i still hv no idea why 😭😭] and he gave me space, never tried to be bad or scary to me 'cause he gave me some amt of respect as his wife, his queen [i nvr went to his court tho. i preferred drinking fruit juice and reading a good book in the shade of a tree] [were u able to guess i'm lazyyy] but then, one day, few weeks after i was able to extricate myself from my jumbled emotions and reach a definitive diagnosis— i found him snoozing under the same tree i take rest under, w a very amateurish book titled 'how do you know you are in love'— and i actually got rooted to the spot. and sukuna, heaven knows how, woke up while i was busy gaping at him. and he made an embarrassed face and dashed away— uraume later confirmed, their lord was feeling an odd thing in their chest; esp the last few weeks— roughly the same time as when i first encountered my symptom. later tht night, when i started subtly teasing him, calling us soulmates, he js put a blanket over my head to shut me up, but did not kill me— guess he loves me, huh 🤭🤭

who is the sun? who is the moon?

be it kitoru or kitkuna, i think i'm the moon, babes 😇😇 tho not a full moon. i'm more of a waxing crescent, methinks... 'cause i feel like i'm bright, but not bright enuf to light someone's path thru a forest at night... i js hv the potential, heh [i'm defo not the sun, babes 😅😅 i can be a lil grumpy and mean tbh, hahaha] satoru and sukuna, on the other hand... i think they are the sun in our dynamics. they can be both the comforting sun of chilly winter mornings, when i need them to be here for me, to hug me, to kiss me, to love me— and the scorching sun of a summer noon, ready to burn anyhting and everything which dares to bother me... [i love satoru and sukuna being a little crazy in their love for me 🥰🥰]

they're treating me pretty well so far, babes 🥰🥰🥰 and fr fr— feral cat men make me go insaneeee 😂😂😂

now i too wanna know ur answers to these same asks for ur selfships, my loveee 🤗🤗🤗 [no pressure tho!! only if u wanna ❤️❤️]

[fishnchip3011]

everytime i actually open up sdv to play i get flashbanged with sebastian's white ass sprites because i always forget not everyone sees him as wasian💔 my current hc for him is half chinese (liable to change... but ik for sure he's half asian) but he is Not bilingual he can't rly speak or write the other language he can only understand it when listening but even then he's not very fluent LOL this is just turning into a sebastian hc post might as well go full out. to me sebastian Does have relationship experience but has been thru shitty ones in the past which is part of the reason why he's so pessimistic & brooding </3 and he'd hook up with ppl in zuzu city for a night for a while but it just made him feel shittier so he's stopped since ☝️ also people make him out to be way cooler than he actually is like yea sure he's kinda cool but he's also a Massive Loser especially when he tells you how he hates "seasonal fads" like pumpkin spice and that one line about the potluck soup where he's like "Why ruin the potluck? Hmm... I guess some people feel liberated when the rigid structures of society break down a little. Maybe I'm weird.” WHO ASKED😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 his ass also can NOT cook he can make spaghetti but it's mid. he probably has low ass stamina and yeah he's tall and lanky (rn i see him as around 5'9-5'10) but you could snap him in half over your knee. when he's in an actually healthy relationship he gets really flustered over certain romantic gestures cuz he's not used to feeling valued or being considered someone's #1. he picks up on little things and does acts of service but i also think he can be really callous and insensitive at times because while he can be pretty perceptive he is also Very Emotionally Stunted. he unlearns lots of unhealthy behaviors & mindsets with the help of his partner & family & friends ^__^

[eoieopda]

i’m going to discuss this one (1) time in full and then i will no longer devote my time, energy, or blog space to this topic. i simply cannot be assed to keep having this conversation. i will continue to block these anons as they pop up. in fact, i'll see y'all in a minute when you inevitably come calling.

here’s the tldr for anyone who is curious but does not have the capacity and/or desire to continue seeing this shit*.

*i have neither, and yet this is somehow still not over??

this whole thing is both buffoonery and goonery. i am so, so tired.

the people doing this are more concerned with hurting M and M’s friends than they are with their allegations of racism.

it’s gross as hell that people have misappropriated and devalued what could’ve been a meaningful discussion about an important topic... to instead shit on people they don't like.

i see you, besties 👀

tw: racism as written by white creators & as i have personally experienced (examples of micro-aggressions, racist messages i’ve received, etc.,) anonymous messages, harassment, cyberbullying.

p.s. i recognize that this is an exercise in futility and that literally nothing will convince these people to stop. i also recognize that saying something will probably make things worse for me. that's a problem for future jade™️, though, because present jade™️ is on one.

as we’re all aware, somebody is engineering an anonymous hate train against some of the writers on this site. these anons have been in their feelings (and the inboxes of writers, hate blogs, their own vagueposts, etc.) for weeks.

for what is probably the 100th time: my opinions are my own. i speak for myself, loudly and exclusively. not everyone is going to agree with me; that’s fine. my problem is not — and has never been — that people have different opinions than i do about the things i’m about to discuss. i’ll get into that later.

where it started:

an anon sent a message to a tea blog (read: hate blog) about M, who is white. the anon’s stated issue was that M included a depiction of racism/xenophobia in a chapter of a fic; and anon didn't feel that they should have. the position they took (if it existed in a vacuum) was valid and within their right to take. the way they went about all of this (by posting on a hate blog? in the year of our lord 2023?) was — in my opinion — sus as hell.

and that was before we all figured out what was happening here.

my position on white ppl writing about racism:

if a white writer can’t depict nuance or demonstrate any meaningful understanding of the issues they want to discuss, it’s my opinion that they have no business doing so.

for example: i’ve seen stories by white writers in which BIPOC react exclusively with violence or harsh words when confronted with racism. this, to me, is an “orange flag” because actual BIPOC have to do a lot of calculating in these situations. sure, the impulse to hulk out is there, but so is the risk that our immediate safety would be compromised further by hulking out. if that ^ kind of consideration isn’t fleshed out, i have a problem. when i see that ^ in stories, it tells me that the writer is not viewing the events they’re writing about through the lens of someone who actually experiences them and has not done their due diligence.

when i read racism as written by white authors, i primarily look at four things:

is the racist action depicted believable, or is it clear that the writer has absolutely no clue what they’re trying to talk about & made no attempts to learn?

does the inclusion of racism make sense in the context provided, or was it included for nefarious purposes (shock value, wokeness points™️, etc.)?

is there inclusion of the characters’ race, ethnicity, and/or culture in the fic outside their experiencing racism, or is that the only representation we get?

how do the characters process/react to this racism?

important context:

at the time i read the fic that sparked this whole ordeal, i’d just “met” M. this was around the time we became mutuals and started getting to know each other. all that to say, when i read this fic and formed an opinion on it, that was done as a reader, not a friend.

not as an “ass-licker,” “boba liberal,” worshipper of whiteness, and/or whatever else these anons have called me, either.

my opinion on the fic/situation hasn’t changed now that we are friends. if anything, getting to know M as a person (and not just as a writer whose fics i liked) has reinforced my opinion. regardless of what these anons have said, the M i know is a deeply empathetic and supportive friend. they consistently uplift me — and others — and make me feel seen/heard.

the only people who are indicating otherwise haven’t publicly identified themselves or stated any basis upon which their opinions (or borderline obsessive behaviors) are founded.

for what it’s worth, none of them that i’ve seen have even claimed to be asian. this will become relevant in a moment.

my position on the fic in question:

i'm a korean immigrant living in the united states. the chapter in question showed racism experienced by korean people in the united states. i'm qualified to make up my own damn mind about this.

i didn't have a problem with it, based on that four-part analysis i described up yonder. here's why:

(1) the depiction was of something i personally experience on a semi-frequent basis. in my life, racism often takes the form of micro-aggressions, as was the case in the chapter.

for example: being compared to people i look nothing like and/or aren’t korean simply because they’re also asian; people rolling their eyes when i correct the pronunciation of my (obviously) asian name like it’s not worth their effort; and tokenism/fetishizing, as if i’m a collectible item based on where i was born and not a full-fledged human being who is many things beyond simply being korean.

in my opinion, M’s portrayal of this more “subtle” racism (aka no slurs, no violence, etc.) was believable. to me, them making this choice demonstrated an understanding of what others experience, despite not experiencing it themselves.

(2) the scene made sense to me in the context of the chapter. bts encountered racism when they broke into the US, and the characters were in the US for an award show. frankly, i appreciated the acknowledgment of how asian immigrants/international tourists are treated in america because it’s not something i noticed non-asian people pointing out at all until COVID hit.

(3) the MC is a reader-insert who lives in korea and speaks korean. yoongi is obviously korean. the racism/xenophobia experienced by the characters in this chapter is not the only time i saw these things depicted in this series. importantly, the other references to korean culture were thoughtfully made, and they were either neutral or positive, not negative. the conclusion i came to was that M took this seriously, as they should have.

(4) the reaction of the characters is one i frequently have (not engaging, walking away) and i think it was communicated well in this scene why they reacted the way they did.

this was significant to me.

reading that, i got the impression that M had discussed this with BIPOC in their life and listened when they shared their experiences. that impression turned out to be accurate, though i didn’t have confirmation of this at the time i read the fic.

(conclusion) if i thought that any of these four things weren’t handled well, i would’ve brought my thoughts to M directly because it is important that these conversations happen. it’s also important that white writers listen. from where i’m standing, M has been open to those conversations with others, on or off anon. i believe that they do take this feedback to heart; and that they were taking steps to remedy those things — prior to being bullied off the platform at the end of april.

why ✨ i ✨ have a problem

i’ve discussed this issue already here, but i’ll elaborate further.

i have no reason whatsoever to believe that these anons are/were looking for changed behavior or remedial action because they continued to harass M — on M's blog, through the hate blog, and on the blogs of literally any person who has so much as perceived them — when M was addressing the issue. based on that, i have serious doubts that these anons care about the issue of racism the way they purport to. worse, they’re now harassing BIPOC in their inboxes and on the aforementioned hate blog.

on park jimin's internet, no less!

i haven’t spent much time discussing the substantive issue (hence this post) but have been very vocal about how shitty the anons’ behavior is. again, see here for the only take i’ve posted thus far (spoiler alert: cyberbullying is bad.)

for reasons that aren’t clear to me, that take resulted in metric ton of shit in my inbox. here’s a small sampling of what i've been forced to read with my own two (2) eyes in the past 24 hours:

*i did not include screenshots of other users’ inboxes in which anon messages reference me, or untagged submissions on the hate blog that very clearly allude to me.

at some point ?? they were mad about racism ?? but now the racism ?? is calling from inside the house ??????

and one last thing before i go touch grass….

i have reason to believe that this entire situation was orchestrated by small people with big feelings about M as a person, not about what they wrote. that’s not my story to tell, though, so i won’t.

when this shit kicked up, the majority of us who were/are being harassed installed IP trackers on our blogs because the identity of these people was suspected but not confirmed. that means we can see who they are, what they do on our blogs, and how many times per day they view our blogs (hint: a lot). we know that they are jumping from one blog to another as if they’re stopping on a goddamn mail route.

some of us (myself included) have alerts set to notify us via email when they pop by for a visit.

their presence on my blog this week lines up with the hostile and blatantly racist anonymous messages i’ve been receiving. i don’t think that’s a coincidence.

they’re either the ones sending them, or they’re lurking to see if/how i react to these messages.

that’s categorically fucked up.

[fitzrove]

Akflflg hot take. The most annoying kind of reaction to media is when people assume that depicting prejudice (lampshading it!) is the same thing as being prejudiced. No, D*nna T*rtt writing about elitism and racism doesn't mean she's advocating for it - in TSH she is picking apart a privileged academic culture for all to see and pointing out that people who contribute to that kinda suck actually. No, Em*rald F*nnell portraying rape culture and violence against women (and men [almost] going "unpunished") on screen doesn't mean she advocates for those things, it just means she's making a comment on the kind of society we live in. No, Michael Kunze portraying explicit antisemitism on stage doesn't mean he's an antisemite - if people looked at the framing of Hass for even one second they would Get The Point (= hey guys did you know that the late 19th century wasn't a fairytale time to live in because it actively led up to the 20th, and did you know that this kind of rhetoric is still common today and yet many people are "blind and mute" to it and don't care enough to work to stop it). I do understand criticisms of the number (ie. it being triggering) and I don't mean to speak over people who are discomforted by it (or feel that it's tokenizing oppression etc - valid points to be made, and as the number is not about prejudice against my background, I will defer to ppl more affected than me), but I truly think that for people not personally affected by the prejudice portrayed in it, there's a responsibility to see it and reflect. You don't get to clean it up to make the show more family-friendly or comforting. It's not intended to be a feel-good escapist experience even though the marketing masquerades it as one.

Also separate rant that I go on every month or so. Like omfg I just really dislike Conspiracy. It makes Rudolf a useless hack 😂💀 Like I'm sure Hungarians irl enjoy their independence but it's not the point of the show akflpdkgpel. If Die Schatten werden länger (reprise) is not explicitly about the anxiety brought on by the seemingly unstoppable rise of fascism that nobody else seems to care to stop it, I don't want it and it's pointless. And that's what it was about originally...

Portraying evil/oppression/prejudice - especially evil things that people tend to shrug off and minimize in their daily lives because it feels too insidious and widespread for them to bother to fight it - is a pretty central thing in art that has a message, and it's honestly such a dumb take to go "omg why would they write about that, that's so [type of prejudice]" in cases where the CENTRAL THESIS OF THE WORK is "x is bad, it's real and exists in the world we live in, and the general public isn't doing enough to stop it". That kind of reaction shows that you just legit can't read and would rather have random "Good Representation" (which can also be important! But while representation has its place, it's not enough to just have random unaddressed diversity if you want to change people's mindsets) than a work that actually criticises the status quo, points out unaddressed privileges and prejudices, and makes a meaningful point.

[edenatday]

I tried to confide in a friend about having aphantasia and now we are no longer friends.

This is what I was afraid of. Appearing so good at something to someone, they can’t imagine how you can have any difficulty or challenges doing that thing. Or that thing that I love so much has also caused turmoil and trauma at times bc ppl pushed me too hard for the results they wanted and I couldn’t work out why I wasn’t getting there. I tried to share the joy in finding some self understanding with someone who is also creative and might have some good advice for me, he didn’t listen, spoke over me, and yelled at me instead.

Here are some things he said to try and convince me I’m wrong.

“You’re such a talented artist” no it’s not Talent it’s years of skill and practice.

“You’re one of the most creative ppl I know” aphantasia doesn’t stop you being creative.

“You have a rich inner world of course you can visualise” can you prove that my inner world is different to how I’m describing it? So why aren’t you believing me?

“If I describe you experiencing X thing can you see it?” Not the same way you do it goes through concepts and memories so I can relate to what you’re describing in terms that you understand.

“You can imagine things you haven’t experienced and might like in detail.” Yes I can imagine a cake I might like but I can’t picture a cake I haven’t seen and if I like lemon sponge logically I’ll probably like lemon tart. Knowing isn’t the same as visualising.

“That thing you painted proves you can visualise” you don’t know the process behind it, what I was experiencing At the time, how I made it etc

“The doodles you do are imaginative” I’ve given this one so much thought bc I’ve not been able to make them and I didn’t know why. Ideas for me are external and contextual, not conjured from visualising. Without the context I don’t have ideas. Alone I only have a blank page.

“You read too much” how do you know what I’m reading? (Reader we speak infrequently also Nmum used to dismiss me with this one like reading is a bad thing also lol mysoginistic roots of don’t learn too much about yourself woman)

“You can’t just decided this sudden thing” it’s not sudden it feels like a revelation to accept it and work through the feelings behind it but I’ve been circling this for months to years

“you’re making/looking for excuses” it’s an explanation not an excuse and it comes with a bunch of feelings but if I know what it is I can work with it I hope.

“You just need just to do the (art) work not analyse yourself so much” I have been doing the work, I’ve just completed an art academy to do the actual work that’s how I’ve arrived here. Bc I’ve been doing art and compassionately sitting with my difficulties & talking to other artists about my process

“You’ve got an answer to everything” why is me sharing this so triggering for you?

“Because you’re already there!!” I’m not saying I’m not anywhere or being self critical. You’re the one responding to this like it’s a bad thing. I’m not. It just changes a lot about how I’ve been approaching art and I need to process this.

“You’re wrong. You’re wrong. YOURE WRONG”

Yea he said that. A lot. Increasingly louder like it was going to change my mind.

“You just don’t want to be known.” Er that’s a massive projection coming from you.

* he hangs up *

Guess he didn’t want to be told who he is either. 🙃 I should have hung up well before he got to play victim at the last minute. It was good practice I suppose, I’m more resolved that this is how my brain works.

This isn’t the first time something like this has happened, altho this was the most overt he’s been. I can’t share my experiences with him without him getting angry, I’ve decided I’m not his friend anymore.

Why do people want to deny others experience with such anger? Why does it matter if I am wrong? It still might yield something useful going forward and harms no one. I get to be changeable. Try new things to learn about myself. I’ve opened my heart to knowing myself in a way I wasn’t able to do as a child.

He turned me inviting him to know me into an argument, and he lost I guess. The comment about reading too much told me that.

I’m more convinced than ever I have aphantasia even if it’s technically a 1/10 on the scale. As an artist, who’s been trying to work like I’m a 10/10, that’s huge deal.

[mithliya]

About the pressures on gay people to be het acting and how we react to them…….. I think one thing people have to accept is 1) yeah it affects people … it affects people DIFFERENTLY. Five different gay girls growing up in the same town in the same family with the same religion taught to them will have 5 different experiences with it. Some people are more people pleasing. Others are rebellious but deeply taken in by the idea of gods and devils judging them and tormenting them forever. And so on. I grew up being taught to be scared of hell and mostly just low key rejected it from the start. My sister is also now an atheist but is still terrified. Still has nightmares. Still catches herself subconsciously adjusting her thoughts and behavior to “avoid hell”.

2) yeah admitting that and saying it aloud DOES make at least some bi or het people further self-delude for whatever reason that they are gay despite not being gay, which yeah does continue to have some negative effects when they speak over us, but let’s be real hear it’s just one more half-out cig butt getting dropped on the ground in the middle of an already raging wildfire of homophobia… we got other problems

3) AND it doesn’t make it less true — some people really do experience pressures great and small to be or try or pretend to be het. And some act that out while others don’t. And it doesn’t make someone not gay to have been in a situation like that. It’s a cold day in hell where I want someone who went through that to suffer even 1 second more …. And for what??? so I can scrabble to try to keep political fake gays and other fake gays from overrunning? When that is more to do with their own psych and less to do with what we do or say? Nah. We should fully and openly talk about pressures to try het sex and try to become/pretend to be het. AND be very clear that it doesn’t confabulate whole feelings of desire for the other sex. Not just like desire to be het or desire to be desired or whatever. And we can be clear too that sometimes bi people for personal reasons lose the passion for one sex or the other. But still have the capacity for it and are bi.

A lot of this confusion crap to me is 1) homophobia— being grossed out or freaked out by genuine same sex only attraction so people keep trying to erase that including by faking gay to change the socially accepted meaning of it to include the other sex 2) people not getting the range of bisexuality or how affected people are by their own experiences and politics. Like yeah it’s possible to lose attraction to men functionally from being around them and seeing their shit. You’re still bi or het though. Just with a zeroed out libido for men from life experience.

If anon wants to stop the madness around this she should talk about all that not worry about, cast doubt on and bother lesbians from traumatic backgrounds who experienced trying to force themselves to be into men.

totally agree, i keep saying people will go thru similar situations but have different reactions for many reasons such as personality. it just falls in deaf ears bc i feel like some ppl just get some kind of pleasure or joy out of framing gay ppl as liars for having frankly traumatic experiences of trying to be het in a homophobic world. so i feel like no matter how much any of us explain and talk about this phenomena, some ppl will only hear what they want.

there’s indeed OSA ppl pretending to be gay and explaining away their experiences with the opposite sex, and i get being wary bc of that. i’ve been in such situations where i wasn’t certain ppl were actually gay but who does it actually help to harass every person who has for any reason ever had any experience with the opposite sex, gay ppl included, and to harass them & call them liars & make it seem like their story can’t possibly be plausible? it hasn’t helped gay ppl from what i’ve seen. doesn’t help us form communities, sense of togetherness, give us protections, or anything else.. and it probably pushed some gay ppl back into the closet. i’ve seen so many lesbians harassed off of these platforms over it too.

when there’s ppl openly claiming to be gay while talking about being into the opposite sex, im not going to be wasting my time harassing traumatised gay ppl about how it doesn’t make sense to me that they forced themselves thru a heterosexual experience in hopes that it’d change their sexuality.

[lilmerh]

for pride asks!!

3, which pronouns do you use?

7, are you the token queer person in your family?

14, how do you think other factors like neurodivergency or upbringing have impacted your identity?

21, what message would you give to your younger self?

25, which part of queer discourse frustrates you the most?

3. She/they/he and also secretly fae prns!! I don't like telling people my pronouns. It makes me gender dysphoric for some reason I can't quite figure out

7. I think so! At least I'm the only openly gay person I know in my entire fam

14. My upbringing definitely helped bc I wasn't raised by homo/transphobic people, nor were surrounded by them in school or other places. This led to me having no shame upon learning I was gay (I did have a bit of a struggle with not being "trans enough", but overtime I worked through that).

My Autism Sense Of Justice made me very stubborn in my beliefs of LGBT rights, equity n equality, and I try to speak in favour of this whenever I can (in class, assignments, and such, mainly).

My autism itself didn't impact my gay identities much... except for figuring out my romantic identity. A major question I asked myself used to be "am I aromantic or just autistic???". Those two may seem unrelated, but being autistic, it made me question my aromantic identity a lot. The main reason was basically "am I actually aromantic, or does my autism just mean I dislike/experience differently the societal expectations of romance?" f.ex. kissing, that weird eye contact thing, other body language "signs" of crushing, playing hard to get n other things that were viewed as romantic that I just hated.

Over time I came to the conclusion that I should just... try calling myself aromantic and follow other aros and read their experiences and see if my mind changed. If I was wrong, I could always just... change the label I use for myself. An' now I confidently identify as aromantic lol (technically more accurately greyromantic and biromantic, but I just say aromantic because it's easier + I don't have to care too much about defining myself)

21. I don't have much I would say to myself tbh. If anything, I would tell my younger self to not watch like... Steven Crowder and other cringe ppl's LGBT videos. During a short period of time (that I grew out of bc I stopped agreeing with their views), I used to watch conservative's vids on LGBT because I believed I "had to remain neutral" (for whatever reason) and so had to "respect" their takes even if I didn't agree with em.

I don't know if I would actually tell my younger self to not watch them, though, bc I think in some way, having had that short phase was beneficial to my development?

-It makes me slightly more understanding to people who don't know much about the LGBT and might say off things. Since I fell for the cringe ppl's words for a short bit, I can extend a certain degree of understanding to people who aren't outright hateful, but still say off things/agree with the cringe ppl (note "a certain degree")

-The embarassement from having listened to bigoted ppl for some time makes me wore open to learn an be against exclusion + be more firm in my own beliefs because OMG I do NOT want to repeat that mistake again *skull emoji*

25. If I were to pick one... probably the insistance that labels are set in stone and no person can ever break them or use contradictory or confusing labels.

Gayness, for many of us is hard to define, or we might just not want to, for whatever reason. For some, using a broad label like "queer" is more comfortable. For some people, their labels might change with time or how they feel (say, a genderfluid person who identifies as achillean "despite" being a girl sometimes). Sometimes it's a matter of community (like, a transmasc still calling himself a lesbian, even though that label is mainly assosciated with women, because he identified as a lesbian for years and still does bc he still has ties to the community). Sometimes people choose one label over another more "accurate" one (like me!! I think omnisexual would technically describe my attraction the most accurately, and yet I choose bi. It's more well known + it's just always been there for me, yk?)

Being gay is confusing!! Not everyone can decipher the exact labels that describe their experiences perfectly. Not everyone wants to, either. Some people feel more trapped by doing that than just calling themselves "trans".

I am all for people making super-specific labels to describe their experiences, and I ALSO think no one should force another gay person to use/conform to a specific label.

In my opinion, LGBT labels are mainly useful for two things:

To understand your own experience, describe your experience to yourself

Communicate that experience to others, find community, have a word for your similar experiences, use that word + community to fight against anyone who tells you you're lesser than or don't exist

I think the more important factor is that people feel comfortable with the label they choose, rather than fretting about which label to choose.

Policing labels never does anything helpful for the community, it just brings infighting. Also, it ignores the fact that each label has a different definition depending on who you talk to. Many labels also have a long history, which means people are gonna have different opinions of what it means because language naturally changes and evolves. (One term is "lesbian". I've seen so many different definitions and flag variations, I probably couldn't list them all. Another one is "transgender", which evolved from "transsexual" which evolved from "transvestite".) No label in the LGBT community is viewed 100% identically by every person. Therefore, we should just let people assign whichever label they want to their own experience.

Everyone experiences being gay differently; forcing everyone with a specific experience to use a specific identity kills the biodiversity and variation within that community.

[lttleghost]

The reason why some trans guys say transandrophobia is real + is the term for transmisogyny against trans men is cause when trans men tried to use the word transmisogyny, people said “trans men aren’t affected by misogyny, trans men are always more privileged than trans women so shut up!”

So clearly we can’t use the word transmisogyny to speak about our problems. Instead, we tried different words, but somehow all of them are mysteriously declared problematic. Hmm. Wonder if it’s cause people want us to shut up?

Seriously, can you actually look into this instead of believing whatever self declared authority said we’re all evil?

this is such a hysterical ask to get after spending a long time today talking with my best bud about the bullshit people like ya'll spew

like I'm not gonna spend too much effort on this cause I should be sleeping so don't expect this to be too coherent or comprehensive but... you and all the people like you really just have problems not being the most important person in the room, you cannot imagine experiences outside of those that are the most familiar to you, while I'm sure there's some weirdos out there, none of the women or transfem nonbinary people I've seen are trying to argue that we as transmasc people don't experience opression or violence or even some of our own unique opression, but... transmasc people are privileged over transfem people at least irt gender, obvs there's other factors that plays into a persons overall privilege but dude.... there's even a wage gap between trans men, nonbinary people and trans women, with trans men at the top and trans women at the bottom

and like I can understand wanting a word to describe our own unique experiences but those words gor labeled as problematic cause... a good chunk of people using them just hated trans women (also some of the things listed as "transmasc only experiences" were not only experienced by transfem ppl as well but like... some originated from the hatred of transfem ppl and is mostly misdirected towards or just incidentally includes transmasc ppl)

maybe if you stop being so self centered and transmisogynistic you'll see that sometimes... people just are more oppressed than you in some areas, it doesn't mean your pain doesnt matter, and also it doesn't mean you can never experience extreme violence, but you do have to understand the differences between how ppl treat you and how they treat those who experience worse opression, and that worse accusations and extreme violence will happen more often to them (like as a no-med no-op transmasc person who looks like my agab the difference between how I'm most likely going to be treated by transohobes and have been treated as just a "confused dumb silly girl" vs how a no-med no-op transfem person who looked like her agab would consistently immediately get labeled as a predator) and like while the threats to transmasc people from inside the community are basically just "a transfem person was mean to me" there's a whole bunch of afab trans people who literally hold TERF ideals like... transmisogyny extends sooooo far beyond how just cis people treat transfem ppl, it comes from other trans people and it goes so far beyond some trans girl calling you a tbro or theyfab or whatever

[unhinged-transmasc-man]

• Before everything else: you need to unlearn the thinking that being masculine or a man is a bad thing. You aren’t evil, you aren’t oppressive, and you aren’t betraying anything by being a man. Your actions determine that, not your identity. If ppl around you make you feel bad for being a man, you don’t have to be around those people.

• Speaking of emotions, your anger is not automatically bad now that you identify as a man. You also may cry less, which isn’t a bad thing.

• Don’t deny your own experiences, I know you’re used to being gaslit and denied discussions of pain, but your experiences are valid and anti-transmasculine bigotry is very real.

• Learn to stand up for yourself (assuming it’s safe). If someone who is not a trans man is being bigoted towards you, denying your experiences, or generally being disgusting, you have a right to stand up to them.

• TESTOSTERONE IS NOT POISON!!!! Testosterone is not bad, it will not make you evil. Testosterone and estrogen are morally neutral. Testosterone is what is helping you, it is NOT evil and is in fact very good :]. You’re allowed to be excited about taking testosterone. Do not let the demonization of masculinity in the queer “community” stop you from being proud of yourself.

• You are trans because you are masc/a man. You are allowed to be excited about getting more masculine. You are not celebrating misogyny by becoming a man.

• Going to the gym can genuinely help a lot with masculinizing your body, especially with arms and shoulders (can also help reduce hip size).

• Use Underworks for binders (also called compression shirts), not GC2B. Genuinely amazing quality.

• Makeup can actually help to contour and masculinize your face (make eyebrows darker, appearance or emphasis on facial hair etc). Jewelry can also look masculine. So can long hair.

• It will take a while to feel comfortable in a male identity. You’ll get more comfortable with it as time passes and you get affirmed more often.

• It is really important for you to get friends who are guys. Specifically other transmasc and trans guys. Cis guys too, if you can.

• You likely already have an ideal form of masculinity you want to emulate, based on media you’ve consumed. Explore :]

• If you have a large chest: Do not only wear button down shirts. Wear a tank top or shirt and layer the button down OVER the shirt, it makes you look more rectangular and hides the chest a bit.

• Watch cis guys for how they hold themselves and how they walk and move. Only imitate what you want.

• Medical transition is another puberty. There will be parts you like and parts you don’t.

• You’ll probably be more hungry, most likely have more energy, and will most definitely need to shower more.

• Small things can help with affirming masculinity: BOXERS!!!! Men’s haircare, soap, dress socks, clothing, etc.

• Confidence is half the vibes. Once you get to a certain point, your attitude will determine how people see you.

• Facial hair can vary WILDLY. As with most things in puberty, things will come at different times. My voice dropped a lot within a few months, but facial hair has only really started after a year-and-a half.

• You do not have to be feminine. You do not have to be feminine. You do not have to be feminine. You do not have to be feminine.

• Queerness is not inherently feminine. Masculinity can be and is just as queer. Research the history of trans men and masc queer people.

• You don’t have to change your interests, but any new ones you develop are perfectly fine.

• No one is allowed to discount your previous experiences or current experiences. You’re allowed to tell them to fuck off, no matter their identity or how they weaponize it against you.

• Twitter and Reddit are both awful for trans men/mascs, tumblr is probably the best bc we have an actual voice here.

• Especially if you are a trans man, you may eventually feel that the entire community hates you. Please try and have a strong support network, find spaces (ideally led by and that center trans men/masc people) that value your masculinity and are generally decent. Try and meet irl trans people, ideally older trans people. It will remind you of the solidarity and beautiful history that trans and queer people have as a whole.

• Masculinity and manhood are not a curse, they are a gift. What you do with them is up to you. Being a man is a morally neutral act. I love you <3

A few tips for young trans men/boys, transmascs, anybody who wants tips:

If somebody makes you insecure about your masculinity or manhood, 9/10 times, they're trying to sell you something (and the "something" won't be worth you fretting about)

Wash your face before shaving and use a good shaving cream. Always make sure your razors are sharp

Your body doesn't need to look like a Hollywood star's body. They are most certainly dehydrated, and they are not a realistic depiction of a masculine or male form

Dress in whatever way is most comfortable, including dressing like Adam Sandler

Military-grade is often used as a marketing scheme, save your money

If you aren't happy right now, one day you will be. This is a threat and a promise

Your emotions are not "good" or "bad," they are emotions. Let yourself feel them even if they are uncomfortable

Masculinity and/or being a man are yours to define, and I cannot stress how important it is to have a relationship with your masculinity and/or manhood that is defined by you

You're allowed to have any relationship with your pre-coming out self that you want or makes the most sense with your realization that you're trans

[nfumbewalk]

Well, I Never!

My Sour Jars are back at my store for $5. Tell me what you need and I'll work my jar for you!

Well guess what...I lost a follower. I only notice because I don't have many yet. I know who it was & probably why. Lolz! The remark made by my muerto, Rodolfo, about his opinion on the term "Latinx." It's not my opinion! I don't give a fuck. Rodolfo just basically said it was "fuckin dope" as in stupid. He prefers Hispanic, Latino or even Mexican. His favorite freaking colors are of the Mexico flag! Haha. I said he is old school but forgot to mention he was also military - Army. That makes a man very different, in my experience.

My husband, Tom, was an Army paratrooper in the 82nd Airborne. Yeah - not a leg. Makes a man an entirely different breed. I'm not dismissing women, but I only speak of what I know. I've had close guy friends who went to the first Iraq war. It's something you just don't ask about. Anyway...why are "dark" dudes such pussies? Jesus, that's all I've encountered. Dated ONE & he was 12 years older than me. Such a whiny little bitch, and he was military too! Well, he was Navy - if that counts. Lol! Joking! Just funning. Guess he left his balls on a ship in Spain. Roflmao! 😂 Sorry, there's tons of joking between branches of the military. It's great.

Am I always this way? Yep, get used to it or move on. Not many people like me or accept me because I *upset* them. Waa! Lol. Actually, I'm very demure and polite in real time situations. I just let all my demons out online. I ended up like most women in my family - no lady friends but I sure love dudes! They love me too. I love cars, especially old ones & I can talk about them. I like guy stuff. I grew up around lots of men & cars. Heh. I'm just an Oregon bumpkin. Not! Unfortunately, my hometown is PDX. Ugh!! Portland is a shit hole & even though my dad died last year, I'm so glad he doesn't live in that horrible place anymore. His ashes are here in Eugene with me.

Anyway, so some dark vampire/werewolf stopped following me. I'm just posting this in case he (I can't remember his pronouns!) comes back. 😅 Am I evil? Yes I am...so the old Metallica song goes...\m/ If ppl don't like my writings here, lemme know and I'll cease & go back to WordPress. My ppl there really love me warts & all. And my audience is older, like me. I'm very middle aged. I do have lots of things to share if you can stand my vernacular, writing style and sarcasm laced words. And obscenities.

I am good at not swearing though - I never, ever said a curse word around either one of my parents. Not once. I respected them. My mom was very hard. My dad was my world. Oh goddamn it! I don't have my Jet bracelet - it broke and my new one is in the mail! I wear Jet for grieving. It helps me not cry about my dad. It works well. Wear Jet if someone close to you passes away. The Victorians were correct! Not French Jet though!! That's nothing but black glass. I'll show you all my 104 year old French Jet necklace. I use it for channeling. Works great for being glass. Don't be fooled on Etsy with high prices unless it's old like mine.

Sorry, I'm all over the place, verbose and sped. Had a weird conversation with Yemanja earlier...don't know what to think. These changes swirling around are making me a little confused. I'm too old for this shit. Makes me just want to do nothing but my Muerteria. Use my cauldrons as vessels, perhaps. Not like Palo though, but kind of...I have been thinking, well, I need religion/spirituality, right? Now, I have no fuckin clue. Nada. Dunno. Roger that, Dahmer. 💀 I have always thought, need a god/ess, demon, etc. Maybe I don't. I really love my mother's though. 💖 They aren't a religion. Just stay away from the ATR folks. Lol. See, confused. We shall see & very soon. My dedication to Yemanja is five days away. A lot can change...I'll be doing divination, looking for signs & omens - anything. If anything breaks, burns, disappears, floats in mid-air - I'll be watching extra close! I'm freakin now!

Gotta run! 💖💀💖

[sweettsubaki]

Girl, you guys are too sensitive when it comes to Buck. NO ONE is bashing him, it's all about feeling sympathetic towards Eddie and the position he's in / his point of view. But then again there's always been a MASSIVE favoritism towards Buck over anyone in the fandom, leading you guys to become misogynistic and apologists of tbh shitty behaviors. Like Taylor? Yeah I never liked her at all, but that shit that Buck pulled with her? Fuck no. Season 1 Buck? Fuck no. Buck has really grown as a person, we love him, but the majority of you have a favoritism that's always been based on attraction and it shows on the way you speak and showcase your opinions.

Usually starting a sentence by "you're too sensitive" is very much used to gaslight someone so, heads up, I'm likely not gonna take what you say afterwards very seriously. Especially since you're on anonymous. Also I'm known for a lot of things but sensitivity isn't one of them...Kinda the opposite even. But I am easily frustrated and I did vent, which as far as I'm aware shouldn't matter to you.

"no one is bashing him it's all about feeling sympathetic toward Eddie".

Ok so either you haven't seen the numerous posts I'm talking about and you took it upon yourself to speak for everyone or you don't know what bashing is. Either way not the best look for you but I have seen many (stopped counting at around 50 posts) talking about how Buck is an ass for daring to say that to Eddie. Not "poor Eddie's been rejected" but very much "Eddie deserves better than someone who doesn't appreciate him" posts (I've literally seen at least a dozen variation of this sentence), often followed by people using that as a proof that Buddie is toxic actually. And just generally very little critical thinking involved and changing the whole scene to mean what they want.

There might be favoritism toward Buck. Probably, most likely tbh. I mostly follow buddie blogs with either a buck or Eddie focus and other more general blogs with no focus at all. Buddie's the most engaging part of the fandom and the funniest for me in general. Because I follow Eddie girlies as much as Buck ones I don't see the difference and I generally don't venture too far away 'cause Chim is my favorite and I've seen too much racism when wanting to look for him so I stopped venturing too far off the fun people who make meta that seem a bit too much but are still enjoyable.

Now even if I personally didn't witness it because I've curated my own experience on Tumblr and don't interact about 911 on any other social media, he's the young White Adult in a fox procedural. So I'm not surprised there'd be favoritism towards him in a mostly American/western fandom. I've just been talking about this specific situation because it managed to hit my recluse corner which is a feat in itself.

Now that also doesn't matter in this case. Like there being favoritism in general doesn't change that there has been bashing here. If you don't care about it or feel vindictive about it then good for you but that's clearly not my case. That's why I avoid it in the first place.

Now I'm probably biased because I've curated my experience but as far as I'm aware, most people don't like season 1 Buck ? Never seen someone who loved this side of him. Because he was the youngest and most immature, it's easy to focalize on him if you like long ass development, but that's it. And most ppl who talk about s1 talk about it in a "look how much he grew" way so I have no idea why you're bringing it up?

As for TK, you can despise her without it being related to Buck. I personally found her appealing as a character, but the same way I find villains appealing. I very much loved to hate her. The woman does not care about others and will step on them to get what she wants even if she violates all moral ethics and loved ones to do so. You can dislike what she did to Buck without caring for Buck, like in a collateral damage way. But I get people absolutely hating her (I draw the line at mysogynistic behaviors which I luckily mostly avoided but I don't doubt they were there). Buck was an ass yes but he felt guilty about it and also learned and grew from it ...still is learning from it actually. That's a huge difference in my book and probably others. There are no unproblematic characters, just characters willing to be better and those which aren't (relatively speaking since it depends on what the writers find problematic). I mean Hen cheated on Karen (which I still do not comprehend in the slightest), Bobby is linked to the death of his kids, Eddie abandoned his child for years. Chim is the one who did the least problematic thing in general because he's the one with the most empathy and the closest thing I can think of is punching someone he loves when distressed and panicking about someone he also loves. And I've heard Chim got a lot of racist shit from it and while I have no doubt it's true, my curated experience means I didn't have to deal with it.

As for your last point, I happen to be aroace and I'm the kind who only understand what attraction means as a very abstract concept. (I especially don't think muscles are all that interesting but I'm happy for the people who like thirsting over big muscles).

And so like...yeah I've seen people thirst over the actor (as much as Eddie's), but thinking that people who are basically just talking about media literacy and "how the fuck are there enough posts that they ended up in my circle that's usually undramatic as fuck", are doing so just because they're attracted to the actor seems a bit bad faith.

So maybe the bashing only happened in this corner I thought would prevent me from seeing character bashing and needless drama, but it's still happened and it went from funny memes (which I liked and still have queued) to literal tirades of how Buddie is toxic and Buck is the worst. That wasn't me exaggerating, they literally said stuff like that. Which is a terrible take, like how do you even get to this point. So I vented and you thought it was a good idea to come to my inbox to ...I'm not even sure what this is for...warn me ? Annoy me? Insult me? Something else?, well whichever, I'm just using it to vent some more...because holy shit have I seen dumb takes in the past few days.

[bluesandboos]

HI THAT ANON WAS ME i have no idea why i sent it on anon actually 😭

I LOVE the long posts so this will probably be long as well <3 waking up to muchachos sounds like the best thing ever omg DONT APOLOGIZE FOR YOUR SCREAMING I WAS DOING THE SAME AT HOME OMG i kept seeing videos of people at those screens, i cant imagine what it was like to actually be there 😭 the baby in front of you sleeping through the whole thing 😭❤️

i have no memories period of di maria's goal i was literally floating my way through that match and i will NEVER sit through it fully again (except certain parts obv)

that song's this one! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTnRlJTusME it's prob my favorite tbh it's just so catchy!!

I literally don't remember that save either, everyone was talking about it afterwards but my hands were literally still shaking from the match in general, i saw it on instagram. i don't even remember most of the shootout but SOMOS TODOS MONTIEL I DIDNT EVEN KNOW WHAT IT MEANT AND IT STILL GAVE ME CHILLS THE FIRST TIME I HEARD IT

going to gardens and getting only honking sounds about right and a very specific, but no less valid vibe of its own 👍 literally every time i see pictures or videos of the celebrations, even now, i am in actual awe over the amount of people that turned out and celebrated (obviously lol) before the parade even and even more during it!! someone told me the dibu burger is actually super good, im genuinely dying to try it it looks great 😭 that image is so funny though, argentina won the wc and people are lining up to buy the dibu's burger as they should!! the store owners were either worried about crowds or they shut down to go celebrate themselves lbr 💀

the newspaper!!! gloria eterna thats beautiful stuff!!!! and the goat chips omg, pls dont apologize i am loving the visual aspect of this i've been watching celebration videos non-stop bc i watched so many after they won that its all my instagram recommendations show me anymore. https://mobile.twitter.com/PLF_2008/status/1606926273833467905 this is my favorite <3

i'm so glad you had fun it seems like such a surreal experience and thank you so much for these answers and videos!!!!❤️

OMG HI HI HI thank you for enjoying my rambles <3333 it was so nice to go through it all again, ugh i miss it so much

the baby was built different. i KNOW he's gonna hear it when he gets older about how he fell asleep during the 2022 wc final when argentina became campion del mundo. literally the greatest match of all time and he knocked.

di maria's goal, once i re-watched the highlights and actually registered what was happening, is literally the sexiest thing i've ever seen. the loss of possession, the build up, the quick passes. A TEAM GOAL FR. but whenever i re-watch highlights i can only watch argentina's goals. i have to fast-forward through the penalties that france gets and mbappe's goal; it upsets me too much lmao

also after di maria's goal, people were chanting his name and the camera's were showing how he was crying after he scored and i was just so happy for him <333 also afterwards, I read this article (https://www.theplayerstribune.com/articles/angel-di-maria-argentina-english) and it just made me even more happy that he got a goal in a wc final + won the wc.

ole ole ola is a BANGER omg argentines only coming up with bangers confirmed ty for the link :))

i ended up getting a dibu burger at the airport!!! 10/10 would eat again, my man dibu only comes out with quality content, on and off the pitch.

ppl were wasted af lmao one drunk man came up to my dad (who does not speak a lick of spanish) and was literally in tears trying to hug him and my dad was just like "sir, it's okay, you won, it's okay" (in english, mind you)

for real though, i legit think about how lucky i was to be there and experience it all every single day. and i get a nice reminder every day because my social media is ALSO ALL FOOTBALL now. my tiktok for you page still shows me edits ("the little boy from rosario" lives rent free in my head) and i obviously have to watch every time. although i can't re-watch the 120' minute save because it literally gives me anxiety that it's going to go in this time (even though it's literally over).

that tweet omg :))) im just so happy not only for the players but for the PEOPLE, the way that they loved that team and suffered through all the finals and losses. no one else deserved it more. i love seeing the abuelas dancing in the street and the songs about them- makes me so happy :)

it was so surreal. top memory of life. thank you again for asking and sitting through my rambles and content dump <3