#and also stop speaking over ppl who actually experience these things

[hazedxhealing]

Having now processed and accepted that I was wrong in my quest for a DID diagnosis, I will now be putting every info-post I've made in my pinned when I re-write it.

Because I may have been wrong about *myself*, but this information could help someone else, and also the fight against endos isn't over.

I am now learning that ppl fake other things, too. That fight isn't over. Consider me an anti, I guess, but I won't stand for appropriation of excruciating mental illnesses.

[snekdood]

any time ive been scared or paranoid about something and ppl dismissed me bc of my past but i ended up being right- those ppl owe me 100 dollars.

[beans-core]

Some batkid reactions to being hassled by the press and other PR related shenanigan (inspired by this post by @timdrakewhump, it got the brainworms shmoovin)

(edit: added a cut here because DAMN this post is fucking LONG and I know it’s clogging up other people’s pages too)

Dick: the humble founder of the batkid “troll the press” train, so he has a lot of experience and stories. As a kid, he charmed the pants off of everyone but was a handful to interview because he kept going off on random tangents. And it was just. the most unrelated and weird shit ever, like his favorite species of beetle or how he used to think when he was little that all clouds were pollution so he hated cloudy days. Things so off-topic it was practically unusable material. Bruce once asked if it was on purpose, and Dick responded “sometimes!”. He’s also the king of petty but ultimately inconsequential pranks because of growing up where he did, a place where the job was bringing joy and entertainment. If someone was an asshole to him (or anyone really) in his presence, they’d better prepare to be on the receiving end of the most manipulative, career-devastating smackdown delivered by a pink-cheeked, gift-to-the-world, curly-Q babychild— who’s now got tears running down his face because of them. It’s joever. This performer stuff helps when he’s trying not to get caught (ex: the pranks). As an adult, he wears the most butt ugly outfits (even to “important” events) but can dress stylishly if he wants. That’s usually how the press will notice which events Dick actually cares about, and Dick utilizes this to get better coverage on the more meaningful events. It’s fucking hilarious when ppl can't even really comment on the outfits because even if the clothes aren’t great, Dick somehow manages to make it look decent. When he’s out casually in public, he’s notorious for wearing shirts with puns and dad jokes on them. The shirts started ironically, but now it’s a whole thing. He gets them as presents too, Tim giving him shirts that have horrible brainrot on them. Additionally, when someone is more comfortable talking in a language other than English and Dick can speak it, he’ll switch over. But the flip side is that he knows the best insults in that language too, so if you piss him off, his roasts are both more accessible, personal, and devastating.

Jason: Snuck books to read into boring events like clockwork, and Bruce never really tried to stop him. (It’s hard to be upset at your kid for reading of all things, especially when you’d rather be doing the same too.) But Jason’s favorite activity was spreading lies and slander. He dragged everyone into it whether you were kind or bitchy, and had barely any limits. (Dick was really proud, even of the particularly wicked rumors, but tried not to show it too much else Jason go wilder.) Jason has the most fun with the gossip-distribution method of old-rich gossips who are just incapable of shutting the hell up— it’s like one big maze traversing the social cliques and making a plan of action. He gets to map out how it all works and then find the best way to wreck it, and he lives for it. Overall, he made up such an astronomical amount of bullshit that photographs were practically the only thing the paparazzi could reliably use. And even then, Jason still trolled them by wearing the same type of common plain hoodie over every outfit out in public (when he wasn’t at some special event). Present day (post-death), anytime Jason goes into the manor (not often if possible), he sneaks in. Absolutely refuses to use a door. One time, someone gets a blurry picture of Jason sneaking in, and the figure is visibly packing heat. The person who got the photo went to the police immediately, and it sent the media into a frenzy. Bruce had to make up some story about an attempted robbery and how the (non-existent) security guards he’d hired were able to take care of it. Jason thinks it’s the funniest thing ever, and can barely keep his face blank whenever he remembers it. Tim got the articles/papers printed and framed as a gift, and Jason begrudgingly accepted it (it’s proudly displayed on a shelf). He’s also secretly pissy that he can’t blatantly make up rumors for the gossips anymore because of the whole “being dead” thing.

Tim: holds grudges to hell and back if you’re not a loved one. If you happen to be more than just an average-everyday amount of douchebag and mess with him or someone he cares about, he’ll make sure you know he dislikes you by basically passive-aggressively harassing you back (when it won’t have immediate/future bad-time consequences). It’s obvious he’s being unkind only to the person/people it’s directed at, and it’s an art form Tim has been honing since the age he first understood what ‘passive aggressive’ meant. One example: once, some person said how odd it was for Mr. Wayne to keep taking in children who looked like him and “forcing them” to take the Wayne last name. The man said it in that condescending tone of people who try to imply something’s “wrong” with you without actually saying it (you know what I’m referring to). Even though Tim was visibly disgruntled in the video, it was still published. (Tim hacked the site, unpublished, and deleted the recordings out of spite… but it’s the fact that they did it in the first place!) So now whenever he sees that news station he refuses to answer them until they address him by “Timothy Wayne” (his last name is hyphenated and he doesn’t mind answering to either— usually). When Tim’s not in the mood to be passive about his aggression, he’ll just fuck with rude ppl anonymously. Hacking to mess with files/programs, deleting important info, digging up dirt and publicizing it, recruiting Jason’s help to concoct a fake scandal (Jason tries to pretend that he doesn’t love the chaos but he really obviously does), and other ways to constantly annoy/inconvenience them. Tim also accidentally adopts Jason’s habit of scoping out and analyzing the famous gossips of Gotham. It was something he’s been proficient at as a kid out of necessity, but he actually gets into it when he becomes Robin, beginning to view it like one big puzzle he can solve and use to his advantage. As a child, he’s not in the immediate focus of the news as much as you’d think. The Drake’s keep him out of the way unless he can be useful somehow (PR mostly— the Idealistic Loving Family tactic and Cute Kid Distraction are utilized often). (This becomes Pretty Boy Distraction and Desirable Man Distraction as he gets older.) They think that controlling his media presence is easier than doing damage control if he makes a mistake, as all children tend to do, which inadvertently ends up protecting him from some of the more despicable side of modern media… as long as he doesn’t seek it out himself… but as we know, Tim Drake is a very curious kid.

Damian: the perfectly behaved Wayne child, but rude without realizing (of course he realizes, but the press doesn’t know that… or won’t mention it, at least). The Wayne family PR team has long-standing beef with this kid and has had to put up with him repeatedly for PR training and other PR nightmares of his creation. He refuses to act childish in front of the media unless it’s for a mission or some other gain. (He can look like the cutiest patootie on command now, but it’s something he had to work on in his PR training, unlike some of his other siblings who have charm oozing from their pores.) The only thing that reveals Damian’s discomfort to those who know him is how he’ll stay near his family members' side, following them around like he’s stuck with glue. Once he got overwhelmed by a sudden crowd, and didn’t notice one mic coming his way until it was shoved in his face— he reacted instinctively, punched the mic (it goes flying), and ducked low into a fighting stance next to Bruce. The others poke fun until they realize he’s genuinely upset he couldn’t stay calm, so they don’t mention it again. Even though Damian loudly rebukes and scoffs at his family’s shenanigans against the press, he still secretly wants to be included. So, when he doesn’t want to be talking to someone, he’ll slowly shift into speaking Arabic and pretend not to notice. More than half the time, the listener will feel too awkward to point it out and will find some way to leave the conversation. Dick takes him to his favorite dessert place when he does this for the first time, and brags about Damian finally joining in on the family tradition all day, so he keeps doing it.

Cassandra: leans heavily into the “can’t speak” thing that she’s been mistakenly assigned just so she doesn’t have to talk to the press as much or be a center of attention. If someone does approach her she just stares at them with wide unblinking bug eyes until they back off and/or are distracted by something else. But really, she isn’t even approached that often because she sneaks around everywhere. When she is found, it’s because she feels like teasing someone that day. (It’s a bonus when her family gets all giggly seeing her mess with the press because yeah, it’s practically a Wayne family tradition at this point.) Also, everyone knows by now that Brucie will unabashedly raise hell to defend his loved ones, so even years later, when media people are like “okay wait shouldn’t she be able to talk by now??” they keep their ignorant mouths shut lest Bruce Wayne descend upon them with the power of a thousand suns lawyers. Misinformed media-people assume she’s deaf or hard of hearing all the time because of her use of sign language, and sometimes, in the spirit of trolling, she’ll feed into it indirectly. Because if you’re calling over to her for a comment and she happens to not answer, it’s your fault if you “connect the dots” and assume she didn’t hear you because she’s deaf/HOH. This also leads to her getting away with absolutely everything, because she’s a (assumed) deaf woman which means she gets infantilized, meaning she can obviously do no wrong! /s It would piss her off more if she gave a fuck about what the media thinks, but she really doesn’t, so she just uses it as another tool when she wants to cause havoc.

Duke: doesn’t get bothered too often compared to most of the others, and subsequently doesn’t give a fuck. Was offered PR training just in case by Bruce and he took it, but he could hold his own just fine before. Sometimes he’ll get approached by those sidewalk interviewers as Signal, and if he has the time he’ll stick around to quickly answer a few questions because he finds them funny. He’s always terribly vague though, and taken out of context you just have no earthly idea what he’s on about. Clarification? Duke doesn’t know her. As someone who hangs out with a family consisting of some rich white people who are often in the public eye of other rich white people, he likes to make the annoying ones squirm by interpreting everything they say to be offensive, just. Fucking with them until they’re panicking, having mini heart attacks thinking of the PR nightmare they’re gonna have. “So young man, do you think you’ll go to college?” “Why do you ask? Think a black kid wouldn’t be able to?“ “I didn’t—” “Think I’m not as capable as anyone else?” “NO no no of COURSE NOT—” Damian, Cass, and Dick think it’s genius so they take inspiration from him and do it too in their own ways. Duke usually goes straight from Bat Business to the manor, entering from the batcave but when he does visit normally, he’s pretty discreet. All that to say that when he’s first noticed hanging around the batkids + co. it’s in public areas. There are definitely some rumors going around because Duke hangs out with them like all the time. the media are left wondering where the fuck another kid came from, why Bruce hadn’t introduced his new kid, etc. Bruce comes out with a vague summary story to get the majority of the press (the ones who didn’t bother to do more research) off dukes back, and after a while, they go back their normal level of invasive.

Stephanie: will get pissy if someone calls her Bruce’s child but won’t deny being part of the family. Loves to spread misinformation like Jason, but it’s only ever fake news about herself. At one point, half of Gotham is convinced she’s some estranged Wayne (some third cousin, or was it second?) and the other half thinks that she’s the secret affair child of Martha Wayne (even though the timeline zero sense). She drives the celeb-focused conspiracy theorists bonkers by introducing herself by different names, bringing up fake relatives, sharing absurd fake stories, etc. Then, she’ll throw in an absurd truth, someone will connect the dots about that one thing being real, and it’ll start another conspiracy frenzy because wait, if that’s true, what else is??? She's also mastered how to use makeup to make her features look different for undercover missions, but will wear it out in public too so it makes sneaky pictures and videos look doctored/fake. One time, she applied some fake facial prosthetics too for fun, and a paparazzo got into hot water for trying to pass off a picture of ‘some random woman’ as Stephanie Brown. She decided to frame the best of those articles written (framing “best-of” incidents is kind of a thing now). She’ll always be excited when one of the bats comes to her asking her to disguise them for a mission because they all know that the price of her work is that she gets free reign of what the disguise looks like (as free as you can be within the mission parameters, but she finds a LOT of little ways to entertain herself).

[tirfpikachu]

tirf inclusivity doesn't mean unconditional acceptance.

it really DOES NOT mean unconditional acceptance. i have been deeply harmed by tra spaces. like deeply, deeply hurt by them. and i refuse to sit there and quietly take it like some tirf-identified people, as i've been told, have done in the past. tirf to me is not passivity. it means telling tras, hey, shit is not okay in your spaces! don't let bigots and predators order you around! non-mainstream feminism can be for you too! and in this corner, we won't misgender, we won't relentlessly mock trans people, we won't be 100% against transition. it makes it so more people who are slowly peaking can find solace with us after getting hurt in mainstream lgbtq/feminist spaces.

i am incredibly critical of some gay-identified trans ppl who pass as straight couples yet insist on saying bigoted slurs & talk over actual homophobia-affected gays. if it's not your experience irl you don't get to speak about it. many trans people DO NOT and have never faced tangible misogyny and/or homophobia and should learn to be GOOD ALLIES to those who do, even if they're bitter that they don't. instead, they often mock cis "f-gs" and terf dyke bitches for daring to stand their ground and not have their voices silenced by ppl who do genuinely not face their struggles, yet want to speak over everyone and say that cis gays are inherently in the oppressor/privileged role compared to anyone trans-identified, even pre-transition, even if they're functioning as basically gender conforming irl and don't face gncphobia, even if they don't face tangible misogyny or homophobia when they talk abt being into the opposite sex/agab/osab and don't pass as an amab/omab gay or as female. i am also especially critical of how transfems treat lesbians and lesbian spaces, doubly so if they aren't passing as female; if you don't grow up facing lesbophobia, you WILL have blind spots on the experience, and be ignorant to some degree. you still need to actively learn from people who do. transfem lesbians are very controversial on radblr, and to me they just need to accept they will never experience exclusive same-sex/agab attraction so they need to stay in their lane on many issues. just as how lesbians should learn about anti-transfem oppression and not be shitty.

as much as i have met absolutely delightful transfemmes, trans women who identified as lesbian have unfortunately hurt me in many horrible ways, and many of my friends as well... pressuring cis/bio lesbians to "unlearn" their sexuality and include them in their dating pool is them weaponizing their amab/omab/male privilege, aka the typical born-with-a-dick privilege of having typically grown up not facing misogyny - that's a privilege? impossible!!! i have other axes of oppression... you demand intersectional allyship from ME?? - and getting away with being a creep to girls, women and transmasc people. hence why so many transfems have admitted to having been incels. those ex-incels and those who pressure ppl that way are NOT SAFE for both cis/bio women AND transmasc people, who lived through ofab/female socialization and were trained under the patriarchy to be servants and sex toys. if a transfem is genuinely, tangibly transitioning into living a lesbian life, she needs to understand WHY so many ofab/female people are uncomfortable right now. she needs to stop seeing it as immediately an attack.

transfems and transfem allies - often transmascs speak for transfems and act super inflammatory, in my experience - have not stood up against predators in their community. they instead sat back and watched as transmisogyny is claimed to be inherently harder to deal with than og misogyny, and that transmascs and cis women are all privileged on all axes of oppression and don't get to call out bad behavior from transfems, lest their rabid allies harass them out of their friend groups and platforms, or even doxx them. things need to change. functionally hetero trans gays are under heat for a good reason. including trans gay guys/nonbinary transmascs, who can say really fucked up homophobic shit about cis gay men who have faced homophobia/male gncphobia from a young age, unlike them. it's just insanely disrespectful. the level of disrespect in tra spaces is awful and tirfs, at least my brand of tirfs, WILL call it out openly.

tirfism is about calling this bullshit out too, it's about confronting tras and breaking their illusion of what a radfem/counterculture feminist is like, it breaks their usual image of so-called terf cunts, and it leads to more interactions. more interactions means more chances to make a difference, and i HAVE been making a difference. tirfs and nuancefems are making progress, slowly but surely, in ways that terf-identified and outright transphobic radfems have not.

stop assuming we're weak libfems, stop assuming we're not doing real counterculture feminist activism too or like we demand that all radfems do our particular type of activism work. just bc we're inclusive of anyone risking misogyny irl and actually show up for transmasc people without shaming or guilt-tripping them doesn't make us worse feminists. our inclusivity isn't a weakness.

terf is often a fake term weaponized against normie feminists and dykes, and tirf is a way to peak someone's curiosity. it peaked my curiosity. and before i knew it, i peaked and was healing so much, and carved a little nuancefem corner in here for myself & likeminded gyns. tirfism has its place, and it matters. we're here to stay.

[confused-disaster32]

Hi! So you can call this a rant or a vent or whatever I don't rlly care - I just wanted to put some of my opinions out there bc it is eating me inside out to keep my opinions on Alastor's sexuality and all of the discourse about him being shipped to myself.

Also i'd like to state that I'm writing this as someone who is aroace but has no actual wish to be in a romantic relationship and actually struggles to so much as picture what that's be like for myself. I would also like to state how I'm not speaking for the whole community and others will have different opinions to myself.

Firstly - aroace is a spectrum (as someone who is on the aroace spectrum btw) and I completely agree with ppl who say that it is a spectrum and shipping has always existed and you can't rlly stop an entire fandom. My only problem is when ppl completely ignore that he is aroace while doing this, bc to me it seems like there's so much potential to having him have to go through those types of emotions and to write him off as if he's completely allo not only can make some people feel unseen but also just isn't as fun.

Also I kind of believe that he'd possibly date someone for the entertainment - like even if he didn't exactly feel romantic attraction maybe he'd be willing to be around someone closely bc he might like the reactions he'd be getting. (example: he might've stayed in a relationship with Vox maybe not out of pure attraction but if he found out that affection could make the TV short-circuit? He'd be interested)

Adding to that, I personally do not actually ship him with anyone romantically due to his character + the fact that I am projecting my own distaste for romance on him but you do you ig.

Also, on the note of nsfw around him - sometimes you cannot stop a fandom, rule 34 exists and some people who are asexual sometimes may want to have sex and all of that stuff. Personally I think he'd probably be sex-repulsed due to the fact that he canonically has issues with being touched.

ALSO, i personally think that way too many people are brushing over the idea of putting Alastor in a QPR - like that would literally be so awesome.

Alastor x Rosie? Cute af (to me Rosie gives of aro vibes too, but more romance - favourable) like they're already besties and honestly I think that Rosie would defo help him figure out about his identity considering that he's quite obviously not all that sure about slang and stuff.

Vox x Alastor - It has the potential to be SO FUCKING FUN like, you get to experiment with how they feel for each other, maybe what Alastor's got going on bc he died before being aroace was rlly a thing and he'd be confused about how he felt about Vox for sure.

Lucifer x Alastor - I quite like it, ik that Lucifer is supposed to be with Lillith but she did take an extremely long hiatus on her family up in heaven so i think it's okay. Plus the idea of them bonding and becoming close due to Charlie is wonderful.

Even angel and Alastor - maybe after Val Angel doesn't want a super sexual relationship - maybe he's not all that interested in something purely romantic either and though I love huskerdust this would still be pretty cool.

Really all I'm saying is; be considerate. Incorporate the fact that Alastor is Aroace, even if you do ship him - in or out of QPRs - and ofc sometimes writing someone who is part of a group ur not in is difficult (coming from someone who often struggles in writing especially when it comes to romance) but taking a crack at it might actually turn out to be rlly cool.

But please don't ignore his aroace-ness, there's not a huge amount of aroace characters out there and acting like someone isn't can be annoying for ppl who want to find rep around their identity, esp if they haven't seen much before (I can relate and he was one of the first aroace characters I was introduced to after I found out what it meant).

So yeah, that's my piece.

[edsheerankinnie]

random (mostly applejack) mlp hcs to keep the Thoughts away

trixie is transfem. need i say more?

Applejack's hair (and by extension, apple bloom's) is naturally curly like her mom's, but she doesnt care for it properly so it just looks like That (THANKS @FISHHANDSANDFEET 🤬‼️)

lesbian applejack. and rainbowdash

nonbinary vinyl scratch

Applejack actually had the Core Lesbian Experience of an intense homoromantic friendship with Rara in their youth that ultimately amounted to nothing. Hence their undeniable chemistry when they reunited. It was also probably that point when she realized she liked girls

pinkie pie pansexual. sorry but shes literally the flag

Aj and rarity definitely had an unspoken back and forth thing going on, particularly on applejack's end, and rarity more or less misses her advances until AFTER she moves on from her. At which point rarity finally stops chasing unavailable dudes and just. kind of misses out on Applejack. No im not inserting BTS scenarios, im going off of onscreen depictions (like this exchange)

speaking of rarity, shes bisexual

So is fluttershy

And her and rainbow dash def had smth going on in the first 2 seasons. maybe one of those childhood friendship that inexplicably turned homoromantic down the line before fizzling out, idk. sapphic canon event and all that

Trixie and starlight were definitely a thing by the last episode. it was only a matter of time

APPLEJACK HAT THEORY SOLVED: Applejack has multiple identical hats for adventures and exploits, bc signature statement piece. otherwise she wears her dad's hat, which shes obviously more protective of (remember that one teacher of the month short?)

Appledash canon

Disaster bi starlight glimmer

Sunburst is GAY

(also hes either transmasc or an egg. def not cis tho)

PRINCESS TWILIGHT IS STRAIGHT (i do not like her)

Scitwi is bi tho !

speaking of equestria girls, Applejack is bi in that universe

eqg rarijack canon (yes Rarity, in another universe you COULD'VE been💔)

Starlight glimmer has bpd. i promise im not saying this to be quirky, her parents literally weren't present for most of her childhood plus the whole trying to end the world bc her best friend moved away when she was a kid. the magic of friendship probably helped with that tho

APPLEJACK'S PARENTS DEATH SOLVED: Applejack is ODDLY prepared to encounter a chimera. Plus for some reason they HAVE to make those pie deliveries. My guess is her parents were killed by one making that same delivery, likely a contractual obligation. In that same episode there's also an emphasis on aj's protectiveness over apple bloom for seemingly no reason. Who also almost dies at the hands of a chimera.

Applejack tried living in the city as a sort of grief response to her parents' death. i think ill try doing a whole character analysis on her another day.

Applejack "cries on the inside" among other things as part of being suddenly forced to grow up after her parents' deaths, especially with apple bloom now in the picture

Big macintosh bisexual + polyamorous + genderfluid combo (that last one was a new development from 5 mins ago)

Hey remember Lullaby for a Princess? Now remember the season 4 premiere, when we got to see princess luna's banishment? Yeah no that didnt happen. that was the kid-friendly version. The REAL version was the Lullaby for a Princess sequence

Starlight sooo had something going on with Double diamond at some point. they might have dated. they might have fucked. who knows!

Rainbow dash is Literally a 🌈Rainbow Baby🌈. ill see myself out (no but srsly think about it) (also im not poking fun at ppl who struggle w infertility, my heart goes out to yall)

Discord might just be demisexual. shout out ace community !!

Aroace Princess Luna. Shoutout aroace community 2x

Genderqueer Scootaloo

Braeburn is GAY

Soarin is GAY

And finally: g5 isnt real it cant hurt you

[solar-sunnyside-up]

I feel so fucking helpless. since this is anonymous i'm gonna come right out and say it, I'm a minor, and because of that there is so fucking little I can do about anything, especially with conservative parents and it just feels like I'm constantly failing to live up to my own expectations and aspirations but also I understand that as a legal child it makes sense there's things that I can't do but it also just feels like massive fucking excuse.

The only activism I can do is from behind a fucking screen under a fake name by writing to politicians who i'm 90% never read my emails anyway but I still have to write cause I need to show that people do care about these issues and at the same time I can't vote on them I can't donate to causes I'm just suck screaming into the void and nothings there to scream back.

I barely talk to my friends about this because they're also unsure of the world we live in yeah, but their parents are progressive and listen to them and I don't wanna drag them down plus I've tried to get them more into this stuff and it just doesn't work and I don't know what to do about it and I can't talk to the school counselor about this cause I don't know her political leanings and in my experience you can't trust an adult with the location of your Halloween candy you really think she's gonna not snitch?

I just have to watch and listen and stay quiet about the adults in my life's actions cause if I speak up I risk losing the one route of activism I have.

I'm sorry if this is too long, or too personal, I don't know where else to talk about this. Sorry

Don't be sorry. Never, sprout, never be sorry for feeling anything but particularly the rage and horror you feel. It's well earned.

All of this is exactly how I felt as a teen too. Isolated, alone, helpless under capitalism and being a minor is it's own oppressed class within every other oppressed group your likely apart of. You have every right to feel this way. But if I can give one speck of hope to you? Take it or leave it of course, but..

I have also been writing emails like crazy and gentle parenting ppl in goverment. I've also heard back from almost all of them after 6+ months. Several things that the writing campaigns where trying to complish have actually gone through! Mainly the transit ones. We managed to revive an entire transit project in my city and got several more votes towards rent caps as examples within the last few months. Ppl are forced to read it wheather or not they reply, so do whatever you want and have fun where you can.

That being said, personally I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel and I couldn't get out of the nihilism hole until after my teens. I tried and tried to make the jump to absurdist theory but my brain just wasnt baked enough yet if you wanna place to vent or some books/music recs for it tho feel free to dm! There is a horrible but small change you won't stop feeling like this until they are over.

[vagabond-umlaut]

HIIII KIT <333333 you said you were okay w selfship asks so!!!!! here i am :33

first of all >:3 i’m a sucker for the falls first/falls harder dynamic, so!!! in your selfships, who fell first and who fell harder?? 🎤🎤 or did you both fall at the same time??? i need to knowwww!!! 

anddddd i also . love & adore….. sun/moon pairings……… 👉👈 so i’d love to know where your selfships fall on that scale too!!! :3 i get sun vibes from you but i could see moon too…. super curious to hear abt this one hehe

anyway!!!! ily kit <3333 i hope sukugo r treating you nicely!!!!! feral cat men smh…

AAAHHH ARIIi, TYTYTY FOR SENDING ME THESE QUESTIONS! I SERIOUSLY LOVE ANSWERING ASKS ON MY SELFSHIPS SM— i'm hugging u so very tightly rn *mwah mwah mwah* @twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat

who fell first? who fell harder?

kitoru

honestly speaking, the lore of my ship w satoru changes w the seasons 🤭🤭 but acc to the information i hv as of summer 2024, i'm the one who fell first. and 'toru is the one who fell harder. i fell for him a very long time ago— back when i was in my mid teens and he was in his early twenties. but nothing romantic happened then– wtv hints i gave him either went over his head or he intentionally side-stepped them. and i js stopped giving him hints after one or two failed attempts, js staying happy with staring at him from afar, or yk, relishing wtv moments i used to get him as being one of his acquaintances... [he used to see me as a 'friend'. i nvr thought he cld see me as a 'friend', haha] but yk, when we grew up, i crossed quite some distance into my twenties and he too entered his late twenties— this is when the tectonic plates of our relationship slowly started shifting. i cld feel it, but i did not want to hope once again js to get heart-broken a second time— satoru, however, felt the shift like an earthquake. it's like, one moment he was thinking of me like he wld think of a friend, but then smthng happened, and he was like, "oh. this isn't how i think of shoko or nanami. oh. oh."— and well, let's js say, satoru was not rly in the mood for dating... he was more like, "omggg, ily! i'll take care of u! i'll make sure u hv a happy life! why don't we get married engaged, hm?" [i love my men a bit yandere 😂]

kitkuna

i think, mr. darcy's words fit sukuna and my dynamics the best 😄— “i was in the middle before i knew that i had begun.” we did not hv a very normal start to our relationship. sukuna js abducted me from my family and made me his queen. and i js became his queen and began to live in his temple or palace or fort or wtv. and yeah, we js started living together the way two ppl married as if for tax benefits start living together under the same roof. tht is it... except, tht doesn't stay tht is it for long. usually, i wld be content w some yummy food, interesting books, and nice comfy clothes— but over time, i began to notice i was feeling stuff other than js content. over time, this heavy feeling inside my chest began to grow lighter and i began to feel freer— and i realised, it was because of this freedom i was experiencing here. smthng i nvr got to experience when i was w my family— that place was rly good, yeah. i was treated rly well. but i felt more like ' a bird inside a golden cage' there. this observation changed my perception of sukuna from a housemate to smthng more amiable, perhaps smthng more affectionate, and i tried to get closer to him, inch by inch— actually millimetre by millimetre, 'cause i love to test the waters 1st then dip my toe into it— and then one fine day, when i wake up from an afternoon nap and i find sukuna sitting at the table, totally immersed in scrolls of poetry... an odd thing happens in my chest— which occurs again at dinner a few nights later... when i notice him eating as messily as ever— smthng which repeats when i catch him napping one day, akin a big cat lounging in the shade— a phenomenon which starts to happen multiple times a day very very soon... needless to say, i quickly diagnose it as a case of falling in love w my hubby 😌😌 as for sukuna... i don't rly think he feels love... he kidnapped me 'cause he was lwk intrigued by me. [idk why] he married me 'cause he grew highkey intrigued by me. [i still hv no idea why 😭😭] and he gave me space, never tried to be bad or scary to me 'cause he gave me some amt of respect as his wife, his queen [i nvr went to his court tho. i preferred drinking fruit juice and reading a good book in the shade of a tree] [were u able to guess i'm lazyyy] but then, one day, few weeks after i was able to extricate myself from my jumbled emotions and reach a definitive diagnosis— i found him snoozing under the same tree i take rest under, w a very amateurish book titled 'how do you know you are in love'— and i actually got rooted to the spot. and sukuna, heaven knows how, woke up while i was busy gaping at him. and he made an embarrassed face and dashed away— uraume later confirmed, their lord was feeling an odd thing in their chest; esp the last few weeks— roughly the same time as when i first encountered my symptom. later tht night, when i started subtly teasing him, calling us soulmates, he js put a blanket over my head to shut me up, but did not kill me— guess he loves me, huh 🤭🤭

who is the sun? who is the moon?

be it kitoru or kitkuna, i think i'm the moon, babes 😇😇 tho not a full moon. i'm more of a waxing crescent, methinks... 'cause i feel like i'm bright, but not bright enuf to light someone's path thru a forest at night... i js hv the potential, heh [i'm defo not the sun, babes 😅😅 i can be a lil grumpy and mean tbh, hahaha] satoru and sukuna, on the other hand... i think they are the sun in our dynamics. they can be both the comforting sun of chilly winter mornings, when i need them to be here for me, to hug me, to kiss me, to love me— and the scorching sun of a summer noon, ready to burn anyhting and everything which dares to bother me... [i love satoru and sukuna being a little crazy in their love for me 🥰🥰]

they're treating me pretty well so far, babes 🥰🥰🥰 and fr fr— feral cat men make me go insaneeee 😂😂😂

now i too wanna know ur answers to these same asks for ur selfships, my loveee 🤗🤗🤗 [no pressure tho!! only if u wanna ❤️❤️]

[fishnchip3011]

everytime i actually open up sdv to play i get flashbanged with sebastian's white ass sprites because i always forget not everyone sees him as wasian💔 my current hc for him is half chinese (liable to change... but ik for sure he's half asian) but he is Not bilingual he can't rly speak or write the other language he can only understand it when listening but even then he's not very fluent LOL this is just turning into a sebastian hc post might as well go full out. to me sebastian Does have relationship experience but has been thru shitty ones in the past which is part of the reason why he's so pessimistic & brooding </3 and he'd hook up with ppl in zuzu city for a night for a while but it just made him feel shittier so he's stopped since ☝️ also people make him out to be way cooler than he actually is like yea sure he's kinda cool but he's also a Massive Loser especially when he tells you how he hates "seasonal fads" like pumpkin spice and that one line about the potluck soup where he's like "Why ruin the potluck? Hmm... I guess some people feel liberated when the rigid structures of society break down a little. Maybe I'm weird.” WHO ASKED😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 his ass also can NOT cook he can make spaghetti but it's mid. he probably has low ass stamina and yeah he's tall and lanky (rn i see him as around 5'9-5'10) but you could snap him in half over your knee. when he's in an actually healthy relationship he gets really flustered over certain romantic gestures cuz he's not used to feeling valued or being considered someone's #1. he picks up on little things and does acts of service but i also think he can be really callous and insensitive at times because while he can be pretty perceptive he is also Very Emotionally Stunted. he unlearns lots of unhealthy behaviors & mindsets with the help of his partner & family & friends ^__^

[link-20xx]

can u explain all the fallenchungus lore literally all I can find is that he made unattractive fart fetish porn and I've avoided twitter for like a good week and people are talking about a massive downfall and im SO out of the loop

Hi. Okay. I’m gonna try the best I can. I’m putting this under the cut for people who don’t care.

Fallen Chungus’ main problem is that he’s kind of just really annoying, but he’s so annoying everyone hates him. But he’s done some kind of insane shit so I’m gonna try and summarize what I can

- he has said he is going to kill himself publicly like 8 times now. I feel for the guy I get it but it’s to the point where he does it whenever anything goes wrong and I know he is not being honest abt it because he says he will do it, then says that he was released the next day. The worst one was when he said that he took like 80 Advil when you Can Not do that (speaking from experience) because your body begins to throw up the pills because it doesn’t like that many. Even if he did manage to get 80 down/if he did take pills (I’m sure he did, but just exaggerated) 80 is an insane exaggeration because that would leave him disabled for life. Like his liver would have stopped working and he’d have like… 10 years to live w/o a transplant. That’s the main thing that pisses me off abt him LOL but

-he was shit talking his family online when his aunt came out and said that he was actually pretty abusive and his family has been trying to help him because they’re worried. He told his fans to review bomb her small business and then just like ignored it ever happened

- made fun of a 14 year old for self shipping for like no reason then got mad when people were like “hey man they’re 14”

- he said “young [n word]” (the abbreviation of the first two letters) and when ppl were like haha hey man jsyk that means something different than you think, he said he knew what it meant but he wasn’t calling anyone it so it was fine. (He was directly calling someone it)

- some people say he made incestious animal crossing porn but i think that’s kinda an over reaction. It was just Isabelle reacting to her brothers farts which is like.. kinda weird but nothing crazy idk. He also drew kuromi fart porn when she’s 5 but idk if a lot of people know the hello Kitty characters are that young and not just like chibis?? So that doesn’t seem that bad

Okay now for just the funny stuff

- he made a thread with a fucking. Drawing and everything called “the kid, the unc, and the gooner” and hyped it up like it was gonna be something crazy. He publicly said he had a fart fetish after hyping it up for days and then said things every normal person agrees on, like “kids shouldn’t be in nsfw spaces” and nothing new was added to the conversation. He said porn artists were bad because autistic people could get hyperfixated on porn. A week later people found his newly made porn account

- he says he’s done with the internet forever then comes back a day later. Longest he’s been away is 2 weeks. No one wants him here he is killing himself online

- says the r slur so much it’s insane I have never heard someone say it with such hatred before. It’s really funny to hear him say because of how intense he says it ngl 😭😭

- he was like homeless for a while? That’s not like funny I just feel I should mention he was homeless because his parents couldn’t take how terminally online he was

- he had a job for 4 days then got fired for arguing on Twitter all day

- had a breakdown and said he would not be this generations Chris chan

- one of my friends used to run in the same circles as him and she says he was really really rude

Now for my favorite:

- when he decided was done with the fallen Chungus account he decided to sell it. The buyer gave him 500 dollars so chungus gave him the account. Chungus than freaked out, decided he didn’t want to, and gave him the 500 dollars back. But the guy already had the account so he just. Took the account. And everyone likes the new guy more. They ended up being cool until he kept getting more and more annoying and finally said he’d stop posting online, but asked him if he could still promote his Roblox game. He said “what” and chungus blocked him

Thats everything I remember. I’m so sorry if you read all this I feel I’ve cursed you. But basically everything could be solved if everyone went outside I think

[yuukei-yikes]

Not sure if you’ve answered anything like this before BUT was wondering if u had any hcs surrounding any of the unnamed parents/family members of some of the characters?

there’s so many of them that i wish we had more info on and it drives me crazy so hearing ppls interpretations of those characters is soooo fun

this one is also an old ask but also pretty on theme bc ive been posting abt the kisaragi parents!! im skipping the kisaragis because i answered that in the past few days lol

under da cut cuz ofc it got long also be prepared i compare like all of them to other cartoon characters

kano's mom - i think she's an interesting character. she's so, so minor, and yet she is so perfectly complicated. she's the one dead counterpart to a snake that is in fact... kind of awful?

she was definitely a very troubled woman. she used to hit kano and scream and yell over the smallest stuff, like him forgetting to buy something or breaking a cup. and then she'd cry and apologize about it. all canon btw. kano says he could only ever make his mom scream or cry. i dont tend to get personal with my hcs, but my dad's an addict so... idk, ive always sort of imagined kano's mom as someone who struggles with substances. the way he describes her always reminded me a bit of my own dad as a kid so maybe that's also why i sound a little bit apologetic when i speak abt her. kano still loved her, and in the end she throws herself in the way in an attempt to save him. i think she definitely loved him too... as kano grows up and experiences another family with the tateyamas, or maybe even hears kido talk of their own bio mom, he'd definitely know his mom was probably not a good mom. but he'd still be so defensive of her, i doubt he'd ever mention her at all to avoid hearing her be judged. if they found a way to get people back from the daze, these two would have suuuuch a complicated relationship like for real...

kano says she really saved up to buy jewelry, and that her work uniform was "prim and proper". there's a book i really like that's from the pov of a little girl and she describes the neighbors she doesn't have a name for. there's one neighbor the little girl calls The Drunk who's a lady that's always screaming and crying in the stairs and another neighbor who's called The Woman In The Black Skirt, who's a lady that's always walking around in heels to go to work. at one point in the book it's revealed to the reader that the woman in the black skirt is actually also the drunk, and the little girl protagonist mentions that when she gets back from work in a pretend phonecall to avoid speaking to neighbors, she can hear the sound of all her bottles clinking in her bag. idk. i think it's something like this. because kano's wish WAS to stop neighbors from asking him questions or saying things about his mother, like it's evident to everyone she hits him, but i think it'd also be evident to everyone she's a mess. kano was an extremely responsible kid, he'd do groceries and clean his room... i think he'd always help his mom to bed when she was passed out drunk or something. also to be clear i dont wanna romanticize this shit addiction is a horribly difficult thing sooo i dont wanna be like she's eeveel or oh she's a misunderstood girlboss.... i think she is as complicated as parents come!

hibiya's parents - i think the dad is a really mean piece of shit and the mom's the martyr housewife who's always crying and looks miserable. the dad's like the typical bully dad u gotta be a strong man... like i know its for comedic effect but that shit of leaving hibiya outside with the wolves swejdnwjfi he totally just did that type of shit. so hibiya's parents are like. idk think helga's parents in hey arnold. the mom's just kind of there and the dad's a bully. but i think hibiya totally loves his mom and when he's an adult he'd encourage her to leave his dad and bring her to kashiwa with him

hiyori's (and ayaka's) parents - they're rich people top 3 most wealthy families in the area (canon)... and ayaka literally ran away from home. ermmm yeah they're THAT people. think the northwests in gravity falls. yes ill keep bringing up cartoons. i think hiyori becomes so unmanageable when she comes back to the village she's sent back to kashiwa to go to highschool bc she asked for it, and she goes to live with ayano which is its own whole thing but yeah hiyori never cuts ties with her parents like ayaka did and is still aided financially by them even as an adult. she refuses to take over their business like they'd expect but hiyori is so girlboss by then she's like kisaragi momo's community manager and shit like that so they're like erm... well respectable enough that's fine. they're probably OLD parents you know they're TIRED. one rogue daughter is one thing but Two... fine do whatever u want. also these are ayano's grandparents so obviously she'd really want a relationship with them. sadly they don't particularly care about her, which shows ayano how cold they are towards ayaka

takane's grandma - you know damn well I've got hcs for her. she's mentioned to fuss over takane's illness but it's also mentioned her grandpa worried even more, so i personally hc the grandma was a little more laid back with it. the grandpa would coddle takane a lot more and the grandma is like oh my GOD she looks totally fine she can do the damn dishes. she's also mentioned to complain that all she does is play those damn games...

my hcs come more into play when i consider canon. it's canon that saeru gets a lot of moneys to Get Away With Murder. it makes sure there's absolutely nothing abt takane's disappearance, haruka's death and ayano's suicide so it doesn't get covered on the news. SO it buys the silence of sooo many authorities. i think cops and doctors and stuff. i think takane's grandma is gaslighted to hell and back like omg ur grandkid probably ran away or something.... and she'd probably end up feeling helpless but never giving up hope takane's alive. likeee she lost her husband and her kid abandoned THEIR kid and now that kid apparently ran away??? SHE'S SO LONELY. but i dont think she ever ever buys the idea takane ran away and she learns to use a computer and joins random fb groups that talk about unsolved cases and conspiracies. she like even starts believing in aliens LMAOOO takane left a perfectly normal stern nanny and comes back to a tinfoil hat crazy lady

sorry I'll mention the cartoon amphibia (something else im also obsessed with) but in season 3 when anne comes back to earth after being missing for 5 months, she finds out her mom had dedicated an entire room as like a shrine to her counting down the days she's been missing and shit LMAO its funny here's a link if u wanna see... but i bring it up bc i think takane's grandma would be similar. but instead there's like a whole red thread conspiracy wall kinda thing HEHE

haruka's dad- we were soooo spoiled with haruka's dad bc we know a lot abt him. following right after takane's grandma let me SAY i think she'd annoy the hell out of him with all her ideas like oh my god ur kids missing... MY kids missing... what if they were taken by ALIENS... and he's like *slams door on her face* so them hating each other is also funny bc of harutaka situations. speaking of harutaka i think they live on their own for a little bit but since takane's grandma is probably old and she's living in a family house by herself, they end up moving there with her. haruka's dad probably HAAAATES it he's like ohmy god he's living with THAT FREAK?? WHATEVER. sorry im still talking abt takane's grandma in the haruka's dad segment

but we know a lot abt haruka's dad. it's another crazy scientist turned mean when wife dies of illness. story as old as time. he's one of those characters ppl tend to make cartoonishly evil and with good reason but i dont like portraying him as like totally evil. just emotionally constipated old guy situation. when haruka turns out to be alive i think he'd Try to have a relationship with him and be a part of his life but since they were never close it's like soooo painfully awkward to be in the same room as them trying to have a conversation. haruka's dad like pats him on the shoulder as a sign of affection and haruka's like *looks around* also i think he'd keep calling haruka a hippie for his gray long hair and the fact he's an artist LMAOOOO also hes mentioned to be "an old colleague" of kenjirou. meaning i hc they met in college and totally had a gay thing together

not doing kido's bio mom/step mom/bio dad because i think we have a lot of info as is.

[fitzrove]

Akflflg hot take. The most annoying kind of reaction to media is when people assume that depicting prejudice (lampshading it!) is the same thing as being prejudiced. No, D*nna T*rtt writing about elitism and racism doesn't mean she's advocating for it - in TSH she is picking apart a privileged academic culture for all to see and pointing out that people who contribute to that kinda suck actually. No, Em*rald F*nnell portraying rape culture and violence against women (and men [almost] going "unpunished") on screen doesn't mean she advocates for those things, it just means she's making a comment on the kind of society we live in. No, Michael Kunze portraying explicit antisemitism on stage doesn't mean he's an antisemite - if people looked at the framing of Hass for even one second they would Get The Point (= hey guys did you know that the late 19th century wasn't a fairytale time to live in because it actively led up to the 20th, and did you know that this kind of rhetoric is still common today and yet many people are "blind and mute" to it and don't care enough to work to stop it). I do understand criticisms of the number (ie. it being triggering) and I don't mean to speak over people who are discomforted by it (or feel that it's tokenizing oppression etc - valid points to be made, and as the number is not about prejudice against my background, I will defer to ppl more affected than me), but I truly think that for people not personally affected by the prejudice portrayed in it, there's a responsibility to see it and reflect. You don't get to clean it up to make the show more family-friendly or comforting. It's not intended to be a feel-good escapist experience even though the marketing masquerades it as one.

Also separate rant that I go on every month or so. Like omfg I just really dislike Conspiracy. It makes Rudolf a useless hack 😂💀 Like I'm sure Hungarians irl enjoy their independence but it's not the point of the show akflpdkgpel. If Die Schatten werden länger (reprise) is not explicitly about the anxiety brought on by the seemingly unstoppable rise of fascism that nobody else seems to care to stop it, I don't want it and it's pointless. And that's what it was about originally...

Portraying evil/oppression/prejudice - especially evil things that people tend to shrug off and minimize in their daily lives because it feels too insidious and widespread for them to bother to fight it - is a pretty central thing in art that has a message, and it's honestly such a dumb take to go "omg why would they write about that, that's so [type of prejudice]" in cases where the CENTRAL THESIS OF THE WORK is "x is bad, it's real and exists in the world we live in, and the general public isn't doing enough to stop it". That kind of reaction shows that you just legit can't read and would rather have random "Good Representation" (which can also be important! But while representation has its place, it's not enough to just have random unaddressed diversity if you want to change people's mindsets) than a work that actually criticises the status quo, points out unaddressed privileges and prejudices, and makes a meaningful point.

[mithliya]

About the pressures on gay people to be het acting and how we react to them…….. I think one thing people have to accept is 1) yeah it affects people … it affects people DIFFERENTLY. Five different gay girls growing up in the same town in the same family with the same religion taught to them will have 5 different experiences with it. Some people are more people pleasing. Others are rebellious but deeply taken in by the idea of gods and devils judging them and tormenting them forever. And so on. I grew up being taught to be scared of hell and mostly just low key rejected it from the start. My sister is also now an atheist but is still terrified. Still has nightmares. Still catches herself subconsciously adjusting her thoughts and behavior to “avoid hell”.

2) yeah admitting that and saying it aloud DOES make at least some bi or het people further self-delude for whatever reason that they are gay despite not being gay, which yeah does continue to have some negative effects when they speak over us, but let’s be real hear it’s just one more half-out cig butt getting dropped on the ground in the middle of an already raging wildfire of homophobia… we got other problems

3) AND it doesn’t make it less true — some people really do experience pressures great and small to be or try or pretend to be het. And some act that out while others don’t. And it doesn’t make someone not gay to have been in a situation like that. It’s a cold day in hell where I want someone who went through that to suffer even 1 second more …. And for what??? so I can scrabble to try to keep political fake gays and other fake gays from overrunning? When that is more to do with their own psych and less to do with what we do or say? Nah. We should fully and openly talk about pressures to try het sex and try to become/pretend to be het. AND be very clear that it doesn’t confabulate whole feelings of desire for the other sex. Not just like desire to be het or desire to be desired or whatever. And we can be clear too that sometimes bi people for personal reasons lose the passion for one sex or the other. But still have the capacity for it and are bi.

A lot of this confusion crap to me is 1) homophobia— being grossed out or freaked out by genuine same sex only attraction so people keep trying to erase that including by faking gay to change the socially accepted meaning of it to include the other sex 2) people not getting the range of bisexuality or how affected people are by their own experiences and politics. Like yeah it’s possible to lose attraction to men functionally from being around them and seeing their shit. You’re still bi or het though. Just with a zeroed out libido for men from life experience.

If anon wants to stop the madness around this she should talk about all that not worry about, cast doubt on and bother lesbians from traumatic backgrounds who experienced trying to force themselves to be into men.

totally agree, i keep saying people will go thru similar situations but have different reactions for many reasons such as personality. it just falls in deaf ears bc i feel like some ppl just get some kind of pleasure or joy out of framing gay ppl as liars for having frankly traumatic experiences of trying to be het in a homophobic world. so i feel like no matter how much any of us explain and talk about this phenomena, some ppl will only hear what they want.

there’s indeed OSA ppl pretending to be gay and explaining away their experiences with the opposite sex, and i get being wary bc of that. i’ve been in such situations where i wasn’t certain ppl were actually gay but who does it actually help to harass every person who has for any reason ever had any experience with the opposite sex, gay ppl included, and to harass them & call them liars & make it seem like their story can’t possibly be plausible? it hasn’t helped gay ppl from what i’ve seen. doesn’t help us form communities, sense of togetherness, give us protections, or anything else.. and it probably pushed some gay ppl back into the closet. i’ve seen so many lesbians harassed off of these platforms over it too.

when there’s ppl openly claiming to be gay while talking about being into the opposite sex, im not going to be wasting my time harassing traumatised gay ppl about how it doesn’t make sense to me that they forced themselves thru a heterosexual experience in hopes that it’d change their sexuality.

[lilmerh]

for pride asks!!

3, which pronouns do you use?

7, are you the token queer person in your family?

14, how do you think other factors like neurodivergency or upbringing have impacted your identity?

21, what message would you give to your younger self?

25, which part of queer discourse frustrates you the most?

3. She/they/he and also secretly fae prns!! I don't like telling people my pronouns. It makes me gender dysphoric for some reason I can't quite figure out

7. I think so! At least I'm the only openly gay person I know in my entire fam

14. My upbringing definitely helped bc I wasn't raised by homo/transphobic people, nor were surrounded by them in school or other places. This led to me having no shame upon learning I was gay (I did have a bit of a struggle with not being "trans enough", but overtime I worked through that).

My Autism Sense Of Justice made me very stubborn in my beliefs of LGBT rights, equity n equality, and I try to speak in favour of this whenever I can (in class, assignments, and such, mainly).

My autism itself didn't impact my gay identities much... except for figuring out my romantic identity. A major question I asked myself used to be "am I aromantic or just autistic???". Those two may seem unrelated, but being autistic, it made me question my aromantic identity a lot. The main reason was basically "am I actually aromantic, or does my autism just mean I dislike/experience differently the societal expectations of romance?" f.ex. kissing, that weird eye contact thing, other body language "signs" of crushing, playing hard to get n other things that were viewed as romantic that I just hated.

Over time I came to the conclusion that I should just... try calling myself aromantic and follow other aros and read their experiences and see if my mind changed. If I was wrong, I could always just... change the label I use for myself. An' now I confidently identify as aromantic lol (technically more accurately greyromantic and biromantic, but I just say aromantic because it's easier + I don't have to care too much about defining myself)

21. I don't have much I would say to myself tbh. If anything, I would tell my younger self to not watch like... Steven Crowder and other cringe ppl's LGBT videos. During a short period of time (that I grew out of bc I stopped agreeing with their views), I used to watch conservative's vids on LGBT because I believed I "had to remain neutral" (for whatever reason) and so had to "respect" their takes even if I didn't agree with em.

I don't know if I would actually tell my younger self to not watch them, though, bc I think in some way, having had that short phase was beneficial to my development?

-It makes me slightly more understanding to people who don't know much about the LGBT and might say off things. Since I fell for the cringe ppl's words for a short bit, I can extend a certain degree of understanding to people who aren't outright hateful, but still say off things/agree with the cringe ppl (note "a certain degree")

-The embarassement from having listened to bigoted ppl for some time makes me wore open to learn an be against exclusion + be more firm in my own beliefs because OMG I do NOT want to repeat that mistake again *skull emoji*

25. If I were to pick one... probably the insistance that labels are set in stone and no person can ever break them or use contradictory or confusing labels.

Gayness, for many of us is hard to define, or we might just not want to, for whatever reason. For some, using a broad label like "queer" is more comfortable. For some people, their labels might change with time or how they feel (say, a genderfluid person who identifies as achillean "despite" being a girl sometimes). Sometimes it's a matter of community (like, a transmasc still calling himself a lesbian, even though that label is mainly assosciated with women, because he identified as a lesbian for years and still does bc he still has ties to the community). Sometimes people choose one label over another more "accurate" one (like me!! I think omnisexual would technically describe my attraction the most accurately, and yet I choose bi. It's more well known + it's just always been there for me, yk?)

Being gay is confusing!! Not everyone can decipher the exact labels that describe their experiences perfectly. Not everyone wants to, either. Some people feel more trapped by doing that than just calling themselves "trans".

I am all for people making super-specific labels to describe their experiences, and I ALSO think no one should force another gay person to use/conform to a specific label.

In my opinion, LGBT labels are mainly useful for two things:

To understand your own experience, describe your experience to yourself

Communicate that experience to others, find community, have a word for your similar experiences, use that word + community to fight against anyone who tells you you're lesser than or don't exist

I think the more important factor is that people feel comfortable with the label they choose, rather than fretting about which label to choose.

Policing labels never does anything helpful for the community, it just brings infighting. Also, it ignores the fact that each label has a different definition depending on who you talk to. Many labels also have a long history, which means people are gonna have different opinions of what it means because language naturally changes and evolves. (One term is "lesbian". I've seen so many different definitions and flag variations, I probably couldn't list them all. Another one is "transgender", which evolved from "transsexual" which evolved from "transvestite".) No label in the LGBT community is viewed 100% identically by every person. Therefore, we should just let people assign whichever label they want to their own experience.

Everyone experiences being gay differently; forcing everyone with a specific experience to use a specific identity kills the biodiversity and variation within that community.

[lttleghost]

The reason why some trans guys say transandrophobia is real + is the term for transmisogyny against trans men is cause when trans men tried to use the word transmisogyny, people said “trans men aren’t affected by misogyny, trans men are always more privileged than trans women so shut up!”

So clearly we can’t use the word transmisogyny to speak about our problems. Instead, we tried different words, but somehow all of them are mysteriously declared problematic. Hmm. Wonder if it’s cause people want us to shut up?

Seriously, can you actually look into this instead of believing whatever self declared authority said we’re all evil?

this is such a hysterical ask to get after spending a long time today talking with my best bud about the bullshit people like ya'll spew

like I'm not gonna spend too much effort on this cause I should be sleeping so don't expect this to be too coherent or comprehensive but... you and all the people like you really just have problems not being the most important person in the room, you cannot imagine experiences outside of those that are the most familiar to you, while I'm sure there's some weirdos out there, none of the women or transfem nonbinary people I've seen are trying to argue that we as transmasc people don't experience opression or violence or even some of our own unique opression, but... transmasc people are privileged over transfem people at least irt gender, obvs there's other factors that plays into a persons overall privilege but dude.... there's even a wage gap between trans men, nonbinary people and trans women, with trans men at the top and trans women at the bottom

and like I can understand wanting a word to describe our own unique experiences but those words gor labeled as problematic cause... a good chunk of people using them just hated trans women (also some of the things listed as "transmasc only experiences" were not only experienced by transfem ppl as well but like... some originated from the hatred of transfem ppl and is mostly misdirected towards or just incidentally includes transmasc ppl)

maybe if you stop being so self centered and transmisogynistic you'll see that sometimes... people just are more oppressed than you in some areas, it doesn't mean your pain doesnt matter, and also it doesn't mean you can never experience extreme violence, but you do have to understand the differences between how ppl treat you and how they treat those who experience worse opression, and that worse accusations and extreme violence will happen more often to them (like as a no-med no-op transmasc person who looks like my agab the difference between how I'm most likely going to be treated by transohobes and have been treated as just a "confused dumb silly girl" vs how a no-med no-op transfem person who looked like her agab would consistently immediately get labeled as a predator) and like while the threats to transmasc people from inside the community are basically just "a transfem person was mean to me" there's a whole bunch of afab trans people who literally hold TERF ideals like... transmisogyny extends sooooo far beyond how just cis people treat transfem ppl, it comes from other trans people and it goes so far beyond some trans girl calling you a tbro or theyfab or whatever

[unhinged-transmasc-man]

• Before everything else: you need to unlearn the thinking that being masculine or a man is a bad thing. You aren’t evil, you aren’t oppressive, and you aren’t betraying anything by being a man. Your actions determine that, not your identity. If ppl around you make you feel bad for being a man, you don’t have to be around those people.

• Speaking of emotions, your anger is not automatically bad now that you identify as a man. You also may cry less, which isn’t a bad thing.

• Don’t deny your own experiences, I know you’re used to being gaslit and denied discussions of pain, but your experiences are valid and anti-transmasculine bigotry is very real.

• Learn to stand up for yourself (assuming it’s safe). If someone who is not a trans man is being bigoted towards you, denying your experiences, or generally being disgusting, you have a right to stand up to them.

• TESTOSTERONE IS NOT POISON!!!! Testosterone is not bad, it will not make you evil. Testosterone and estrogen are morally neutral. Testosterone is what is helping you, it is NOT evil and is in fact very good :]. You’re allowed to be excited about taking testosterone. Do not let the demonization of masculinity in the queer “community” stop you from being proud of yourself.

• You are trans because you are masc/a man. You are allowed to be excited about getting more masculine. You are not celebrating misogyny by becoming a man.

• Going to the gym can genuinely help a lot with masculinizing your body, especially with arms and shoulders (can also help reduce hip size).

• Use Underworks for binders (also called compression shirts), not GC2B. Genuinely amazing quality.

• Makeup can actually help to contour and masculinize your face (make eyebrows darker, appearance or emphasis on facial hair etc). Jewelry can also look masculine. So can long hair.

• It will take a while to feel comfortable in a male identity. You’ll get more comfortable with it as time passes and you get affirmed more often.

• It is really important for you to get friends who are guys. Specifically other transmasc and trans guys. Cis guys too, if you can.

• You likely already have an ideal form of masculinity you want to emulate, based on media you’ve consumed. Explore :]

• If you have a large chest: Do not only wear button down shirts. Wear a tank top or shirt and layer the button down OVER the shirt, it makes you look more rectangular and hides the chest a bit.

• Watch cis guys for how they hold themselves and how they walk and move. Only imitate what you want.

• Medical transition is another puberty. There will be parts you like and parts you don’t.

• You’ll probably be more hungry, most likely have more energy, and will most definitely need to shower more.

• Small things can help with affirming masculinity: BOXERS!!!! Men’s haircare, soap, dress socks, clothing, etc.

• Confidence is half the vibes. Once you get to a certain point, your attitude will determine how people see you.

• Facial hair can vary WILDLY. As with most things in puberty, things will come at different times. My voice dropped a lot within a few months, but facial hair has only really started after a year-and-a half.

• You do not have to be feminine. You do not have to be feminine. You do not have to be feminine. You do not have to be feminine.

• Queerness is not inherently feminine. Masculinity can be and is just as queer. Research the history of trans men and masc queer people.

• You don’t have to change your interests, but any new ones you develop are perfectly fine.

• No one is allowed to discount your previous experiences or current experiences. You’re allowed to tell them to fuck off, no matter their identity or how they weaponize it against you.

• Twitter and Reddit are both awful for trans men/mascs, tumblr is probably the best bc we have an actual voice here.

• Especially if you are a trans man, you may eventually feel that the entire community hates you. Please try and have a strong support network, find spaces (ideally led by and that center trans men/masc people) that value your masculinity and are generally decent. Try and meet irl trans people, ideally older trans people. It will remind you of the solidarity and beautiful history that trans and queer people have as a whole.

• Masculinity and manhood are not a curse, they are a gift. What you do with them is up to you. Being a man is a morally neutral act. I love you <3

A few tips for young trans men/boys, transmascs, anybody who wants tips:

If somebody makes you insecure about your masculinity or manhood, 9/10 times, they're trying to sell you something (and the "something" won't be worth you fretting about)

Wash your face before shaving and use a good shaving cream. Always make sure your razors are sharp

Your body doesn't need to look like a Hollywood star's body. They are most certainly dehydrated, and they are not a realistic depiction of a masculine or male form

Dress in whatever way is most comfortable, including dressing like Adam Sandler

Military-grade is often used as a marketing scheme, save your money

If you aren't happy right now, one day you will be. This is a threat and a promise

Your emotions are not "good" or "bad," they are emotions. Let yourself feel them even if they are uncomfortable

Masculinity and/or being a man are yours to define, and I cannot stress how important it is to have a relationship with your masculinity and/or manhood that is defined by you

You're allowed to have any relationship with your pre-coming out self that you want or makes the most sense with your realization that you're trans