#and also shes cheating on him and i just have to. live with that.
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synopsis: y/n is an up and coming influencer, who has established her own with thriving youtube channel and podcast. when she releases a new episode with her new co-host and special guests, things get messy.
a rafe cameron smau! |part eight| part nine |part ten|
a/n: This is a long one for you guys :) thank you to @ivysprophecy @kimoralov3 for letting me annoy the shit out of you as i bounce ideas off of y'all.
Off Topic Official Transcript
12:30Â
Cleo: so Rafe, you did a recent shoot with loewe.Â
Y/n: [you bite your lip subtly] oh my god yeah, i remember hearing Sarah talk about it. you looked really good.Â
Rafe: oh yeah? [he raises his eyebrow] thank you. it was really fun, the crew and photographer were great. iâve always wanted to do a shoot with them and i was so grateful when i got the chance.Â
Rafe: i know itâs yallsâ podcast but if you could work with any brand, which would it be?Â
Cleo: easy, easy man. either gucci or miu miu.Â
Y/n: i think for me it would probably be ysl or prada.Â
Rafe: yeah, youâd be a prada girl? [he asks cockily]
Y/n: yeah, havenât you seen me rock a pair of prada sunnies. i always serve face. [you smile and then give a model face to him and cleo]Â
Cleo: that is correct. my girl always looks good, especially in prada.Â
Rafe: oh, i have no doubt. [he smiles at you brightly]
26:45
Y/n: [laughing at something Rafe said before hand]
Cleo:[smirks] so rafe, we have this recurring segment of this show called âbe mineâ and itâs where we ask the guest, whatâs their ideal type or what they are looking for in a relationship.
Y/n: [stops laughing and is subtly looking at Cleo with bewilderment]Â
Cleo: and since we donât have more than one guest today, y/n will share with you!Â
Y/n: [looks at Cleo with a look of confusion] i will?Â
Cleo:[gives her look]Â
Y/n: i guess i will be today.Â
Rafe: [chuckles at your reaction] i have only been in two really serious relationships and they were both totally different experiences. the first person i'm really good friends with still but that relationship taught me all the things i did want like someone adventurous, kind, and someone who can communicate. in this life we live in the media. i never wanna be the last person to know something about my partner. i think from my last relationship we were very private and i didnât really mind it but sometimes i wanted to share cute photos of them⊠[he shifts in the chair and manspreads a bit]
Cleo: [she looks at you and gives you a smirk at the mention at photography]
Rafe (continued): especially since i really like film photography and really i couldnât share my photos, so i wanna find someone who's comfortable with that for sure. and by no means do i think i am perfect, i think i got somethings to work on but those are just somethings that are really important to me. [he finishes speaking and looks at you for your reaction.]
Cleo: [is smirking in her seat] damn model boy knows what he wants.Â
Rafe: [laughs] sometimes if you want something you just gotta put it out there. [he shrugs and smirks]
Cleo: ya know y/n here loves film photography? has a whole account dedicated to it too.
Y/n: [your eyes blunge out hoping sheâd be quiet] yeah, i do but itâs nothing.Â
Rafe: [smirks and leans forward and places his elbow on the chair arm and places his chin on his knuckles] itâs not, nothing. itâs cute, sweetheart. [he gives you a kind smile] so, what are you looking for? [he points with his chin to you]
Y/n: um⊠i agree with a lot of what race has to say. i especially feel the same about communication, in my last relationship there was a really big lack of it and that along with cheating was the end of our relationship.Â
Rafe: [frowns at the mention that you have been cheated on]
Y/n: So now i think i need someone who is willing to take things slowly and understand that it takes me a second to trust their intentions. but i also really want someone who likes to travel because i love traveling and seeing new places. also my friends have to give the stamp of approval because they are everything to me. [you smile at cleo]
Y/n: but my ideal type, i donât know, tall, kind, intelligent, passionate, empathetic, and i donât think it would hurt anyone if he was pretty on the eyes either.[you smile widely]Â
Rafe: i think it's really raw and real of you to talk about trust in that way because i feel the same way.Â
Cleo: you two have a lot in common huh?Â
y/n's phone
taglist: @ivysprophecy @kimoralov3 @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account @charli123456789 @wearemadeofstardust0 @frankoceanluvr11 1 @harrys-housewife @urbrunettebombshell @mayhapsnini i @psychicnatural @aariahnaa @rafeycameronsgf @laniirackssss @cl4uus @honk4emoboyz
#lex creates <3#lex writes <3#divider was made by strangergraphics-archive#outerbanks au#outer banks#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron#rafe x reader#rafe obx#rafe outer banks#rafe Cameron smau#rafe cameron au#social media au#rafe cameron x fem!reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe x you#rafe imagine#rafe cameron social media au#obx au#obx smau#rafer cameron smau#outerbanks#outerbranks smau#outer banks fic#outer banks fanfiction#smau#rafe smau
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Fic Finder
Nov 21st
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1. Hello! I'm trying to find a fic that I've read a long time ago. it was a modern/reincarnation au where Wei Ying is hired at an academy as a (history?) teacher but is unaware that the academy that hired him is actually a modern cultivation school where they practice cultivation secretly and learn the history of the canon mdzs timeline... Also Wei Ying can see ghosts/spirits. Thanks! @sheepie9967
FOUND! Retrouvaille by wxparoxysm (T, 75k, WIP, WangXian, XiCheng, Modern)
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2. Hi, I am looking for a smut fic. Lan Zhan is having an orgy with multiple versions of WĂši WĂșxiĂ n, including a yiling laozu version, and Lan Zhan is pregnant. Eventually even more Wei Yings show up.
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3. Hello!! I am trying to find a WangXian fanfiction, but I really can't seem to find it. From what I remember, it was an arranged marriage when they were about fifteen, they haven't met each other yet as it was pre-cloud recesses study arc. The Gusu Lan Sect came to Lotus Pier to negotiate the betrothal. WWX made a condition before accepting it, he wanted to duel LWJ to see if he was worthy or not. I think it also has some JFM, YZY critical/bashing/canon characteristics. @lonelynebula5149
3 is a Preludian_Staves fic im pretty sure but it may be one of the ones they hide in that collection
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4. Hi so this fic is that wwx take WÄn YuĂ n to Jin ling 100 month celebration with him and there's this particular scene where he comes in jin tower with Jin what's his face that has the 100 souls curse and the peacock
And WÄn YuĂ n was clutching his robes and they were all arguing until leader Nie shuts everyone up and then Ask wwx to show them his chest so wwx hands his little radish too the ghost general and show everyone his chest that's a scene that I could simply remember @constancebloodstone
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5. Hiiii! Hope you're having a great day/night! So I've looking for this one particular fic in which wy see lz with a woman who had her hand around his elbow while walking together on night then smells some foreign sweet smell on him in another night plus lz keeps coming home late so he starts thinking that lz is cheating on him but instead of getting angry he feels hurt and start blaming himself and thinking ofc lz is perfect so he deserves someone just as perfect and beautiful and eventually he confronts lz about it then find out that he was just escorting an elder Immortal ancestor wtv and spending time with her before she chose to end her Immortality since she lost her will to live after all her beloved ones died during her seclusion
FOUND! White Flag by incendir (T, 37k, WangXian, NHS/NZH, OMC/ OMC)
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6. Thank you for existing! I'm looking for a fic, modern au, where it turns out the reason Wei Ying got hit by a car (I think it was a car) was because he's deaf/hard of hearing on one ear so he didn't hear it coming. The cause of his damaged hearing is physical abuse from Madam Yu. Please help! @ilolatthis
FOUND! misunderstood 'verse by sysrae (M, 7k, WangXian, Modern, College/University, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, getting hit by cars, Past Child Abuse, Friends to Lovers, Abusive YZY, Caring LWJ, Injured WWX, partial hearing loss, the real OTP is everyone x therapy)
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7. I'm begging you to help me. I cannot for the life of me find the fic in which Lan Zhan has been asked by his brother to act in a PSA that Xichen wants to film at school, where he works. Xichen always ends up having sex with everyone at work, so when Wei Ying, a teacher at the school, comes in as Lan Zhan's scene partner, Lan Zhan assumes Xichen and Wei Ying have slept together. The PSA is about global warming, carbon emissions, etc. They shoot the scene several times and each time they get increasingly familiar with each other. The shooting ends with Wei Ying asking Lan Zhan out.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP
FOUND! Worship you till morning comes by feyburner (E, 6k, WangXian, Modern AU, Meet-Cute, First Dates, First Time, Fluff, Kissing, Hand Jobs, Falling In Love)
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8. Hi! I only remember one specific scene from the story I'm looking for. Modern AU, JC and WWX are yelling at each other, and JC says something like "where did you get these stupid self-deprecating ideas/ the idea that you're not wanted in this family from" and WWX goes, in the same tone as a grade schooler, "your mom."
JC: NOT FUNNY.
WWX: IT KINDA IS THOUGH
And then they both cry and laugh at the same time and that's the reconciliation.
I think the main story might have been Wangxian? Pretty sure I only read that back then, but I can't remember anything else and I've looked everywhere. @rights-for-redshirts
FOUND! say itâs here where our pieces fall in place by Lirelyn (E, 68k, wangxian, Family Feels, Modern, Angst with a Happy Ending, Kid Fic, Adoption, Foster Care, most of the angst is backstory and weâre working through it, several characters have had therapy thank god, thereâs a good amount of domestic fluff but also a lot of crying, Often at the same time, oh yeah eventually there will be smut, possibly also with crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Podfic Available)
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9. Hi again, Team! Iâm going to feel absolutely /stupid/ but there was a fic I read where LZ secretly rates other peopleâs dicks & WY keeps trying to score 10/10 but is unable to do so. The only other things I can recall are NHS had a starring role & WX got together at the end! Any help would be appreciated! @arisuamichan
FOUND? Thank You for Submitting by westiec (M, 3k, WangXian, Dick Pics, Getting Together, Humor, NHS is here too, but he's mostly offscreen, Modern, United States, Podfic Available)
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10. For fic finders: the start of it is that a class of lans including LWJ were affected by a curse placed on the platform/building they were in and WWX and LXC tried taking them to the cold pond
That doesnât work so they head off to LWJ to see how heâs handling it and the two Lans wonder why WWX doesnât seem to be affected when he was also there. He laughs his way through having the same mental fortitude or whatever as LWJ before just coming out and saying that no one noticed heâs been missing his core for years and without a core it didnât affect him
I think the curse was placed by JGY but that was kinda secondary detailing since WWX and LWJ got together because of this situation. A completed one shot, no multi chapter casefics here
FOUND! Stainless by Fahye (E, 6k, WangXian, Sex Pollen, Yuletide Treat)
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11. Hi! Please help me find this fic. I'm becoming desperate! Wei Wuxian is somehow turned into a kid. Some plot happens and Wei Wuxian turns back into an adult but in his original body and everyone is shook by this turn of events. They celebrate or something and then at the end WangXian adopt a baby named Yanli and the juniors and Jiang Cheng adore her. Please I loved it but firgot to bookmark it and can't seem to find it đ @pancakeshitdifferentat4am
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12. hi im looking for a wangxian fic i read a while ago and i cant find it so i forgot the name but i remember that lan wangji lost his golden core he was attacked by wen zhuliu on his way back to cloud recesses after he and wei ying were rescued from the xuanwu cave , he manages to kill wen zhuliu but he lost his core and wei ying was the one to find him. thats all i remember i hope you can help me find it . Thank you so much in advance.
FOUND? stay, fury, your wrist wrapped in silk by spookykingdomstarlight (E, 228k, WangXian, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Canon Divergence, YLLZ LWJ, LWJ loses his golden core, yiling wei sect, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Major Character Injury, Injury Recovery, Temporary Character Death, War Crimes, Wen Remnant, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Revenge, LWJ goes dark for a while, WWX has a hard time with the bad shit going on around him, JGS is a bastard, Protracted Sunshot Campaign, War is war and hell is hell and of the two war is a lot worse, temporary impotence, growing intimacy, LWJ & WWX and the Wen Remnant live in the Burial Mounds together, WWX travels with LWJ and stays at his side post-Sunshot, Spanish Translation)
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13. Hello! I've had this scene running through my head from a fic that I, for the life of me, can't find.
It's a canon divergence fic where WWX brings the Wens to Gusu and humanizes them to the rest of the cultivation world in the proceas. The fic talks about PTSD and I could have sworn I bookmarked it but here we are! The scene I can't forget is:
On the way there, WWX makes A-Yuan a whistle that he can blow whenever he's afraid. At first the whistle blows often, but eventually A-Yuan gets more comfortable.
Any help would be most appreciated, thank you! @theonlysureprediction
FOUND? Grave dirt by esama (T, 92k, WangXian, canon divergence, yiling wei sect au, demonic cultivation, farming, found family, pre-slash, politics, fix-it of sorts) The whistle part could be Grave dirt by Esama (chapter 2)
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14. heLLO its my first time doing this and ive no idea how tumblr works im usually just here to browse
anyways just the other day i read the desc of a fanfic where wwx was forced to top by a lz who was riding him and wwx was yelling hELP rAPE RAPE IM BEING RAPED lol
but i forgot to bookmark it and now i cant find it if you could help PLSS thank u ily guysđ„șđ
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15. Okay so this will be for fic finder.
I swear I had this bookmarked but I spent 2 hours searching and can't find it at all.
What I remember is that wwx makes a clay doll for a-yuan. It falls into the lotus pond, but falls apart. A-yuan is distraught, of course. Sometime during the following night though wwx is woken up by a baby screaming. The burial mounds somehow turned the clay baby to a real baby girl. Wwx raises her and she ends up going to koi tower with him. I think wangji escorts wwx, the baby, and wen ning??
Please help me find this! @grainstealingthot
FOUND! An Old Cardboard Produce Box for a Cradle by julomaiboulomai, mischiefseven (T, 25k, WangXian, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Canon Divergence, Sentient Burial Mounds, Golden Core Reveal, Everyone Lives)
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16. for ficfinder
I swear I have thus marked some where but I just can't find it
it'd the fic where lsz/wen yuan has a twin who's raised by lwj and lwj n wwx think that the other twin died. it's a parent trap au @bunnycoffeeumcat
FOUND? đâ€ïž kick at the darkness âtil it bleeds daylight by AlfAlfAlfAlfAlf, tardigradeschool (T, 75k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Eventual Happy Ending, Getting Together, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Inspired by The Parent Trap (1998), Kid Fic, teen shenanigans, two a-yuans, Fluff and Angst, [Podfic] kick at the darkness âtil it bleeds daylight by contributor-sky (deepestbluesky), esbielle was also here (esbielle), glittercracker, GodOfLaundryBaskets, jellyfishfire, kisahawklin, Koontyme, Rionaa, semperfiona))
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17. i have not used tumblr so sorry if i am asking in the wrong place- but i am going crazy trying to find this fic! it has some explicit scenes, it is an omega/alpha type fic, where alpha lan xichen and omega wei wuxian are married. alpha lan zhan lives with them, but struggles seeing/hearing their intimacy and closeness because he was attracted to wei ying on their first meeting. wei ying gets drunk and sleeps with lan zhan thinking hes lan huan twice while lan huan is gone, but claims to forget
FOUND? they call me homewrecker by sweetlolixo (E, 12k, XiXian, WangXian, Modern AU, Omegaverse, Dark LWJ, Dark WWX, Pining LWJ, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Dubious Consent, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual WangXian)
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18. Hello, I have another request please, there was a modern day no powers fic where WWX was a baker, who also delivered his cakes, idk what kind of social media he had, because all I remember a girl was looking at his post and he leaned in and said smth like "that Yiling Patriarch is pretty cute" or smth, and there was a skateboard, maybe? That's all I got. Thank you so much!
FOUND? i swim in hollow lakes carved from memories by spookykingdomstarlight (T, 154k, WangXian, XiYao, Modern AU, Coffee Shops & Cafés, Music, Baking, Social Media, Misunderstandings, Consequences of Fake Dating Schemes, Flashbacks, Vlogger WWX, Professional Musician LWJ, Angst with a Happy Ending, Mistakes, Pining, Matchmaking, Romance, Illnesses, Slow Burn, Background SangNing, POV Multiple, Second Chances) I think it was wc not jzx who was hired, otherwise matches
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19. Hello!!! Thank you for your hard work!!!!
I'm looking for a fic where it mostly canon compliant but the only thing I vividly remember it's that when LWJ appear at the Mo MansiĂłn to rescue the Junior it's that he has some grey/white hairs and maybe it was a omega verse (not very sure about that).
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20. Hi. Iâve been trying to find a fic where WWX decides to take the imperial examinations, live as a magical farmer in the south and later found out Wei Changze was the son of the Emperor and WWX ends up taking in the young princes for tutoring. Also I donât remember how he meets LWJ but they ended up being engaged and the Emperor sends like Imperial Auditors to the sects because of what happened to his grandson⊠It may or may not be a time travel fix-it, canât quite remember đ« @skycookie472
FOUND? Starting Over by SplitGirl28 (M, 69k, WIP, Time Travel Fix-It, Back to Childhood, Change his life, Different lifestyle, Unrestrained WWX, Living his ideal life)
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Shell of Trust *â .â â§
Donatello had always prided himself on being observant. He noticed the little thingsâthe way people hesitated, the subtle changes in tone, the details others often overlooked. It was part of what made him such a good problem solver, and right now, the puzzle in question was you.
Youâd been part of their lives for months now, introduced as Aprilâs best friend. Sweet, kind, and intelligent, youâd fit in with the group almost seamlessly. But there were walls you kept up, things you didnât share, and the most glaring of all: your reluctance to let them come over to your home.
Donnie wasnât one to pry, but the more time he spent with you, the more he found himself wanting to know what was behind those walls. It wasnât just curiosityâit was something deeper. He admired you, more than he cared to admit, and your quiet strength had a way of captivating him.
So when youâd canceled plans for the third time that week, claiming something had come up, Donnie couldnât ignore the nagging feeling that something was wrong. Against his better judgment, he decided to stop by your place. He told himself it was just to make sure you were okay, but deep down, he knew there was more to it.
It was late when he arrived, the soft glow of your living room lights spilling out through the window. Donnie climbed onto the fire escape, careful not to make a sound as he peered inside.
What he saw stopped him in his tracks.
There, sitting cross-legged on the floor, was a little girl. She was playing with a set of blocks, her face scrunched up in concentration. Her resemblance to you was unmistakable, from the curve of her nose to the way her hair fell in soft waves.
Donnieâs breath hitched.
Before he could process the revelation, the little girl looked upâand screamed.
âMommy, there's someone at the window!â
Donnie backed away from the window, panic rising in his chest. He hadnât meant to scare her. A moment later, the window swung open, and you looked outside, your expression a mix of shock and seriousness.
âDonnie?â
âUh⊠hi,â he said sheepishly, raising a hand in an awkward wave.
âWhat are you doing here?â you asked, your voice laced with worry.
âIâI wanted to check on you,â he stammered. âI didnât mean to scare her. I didnât knowââ
âThat I have a daughter?â you finished for him, crossing your arms.
He nodded, his gaze flickering toward the window where the little girl was peeking out cautiously. âYeah. That.â
You sighed, leaning against the doorframe. âI didnât want you to find out like this.â
âWhy didnât you tell me?â he asked, his voice soft. âWhy didnât you tell any of us?â
You hesitated, glancing back at the window before stepping outside and closing the door behind you. âBecause itâs complicated, Donnie. People judge me because of that. They assume things, say things⊠I didnât want you guys to see me like that.â
Donnie frowned. âYou really think weâd do that?â
âI donât know,â you admitted. âBut I couldnât take the chance. Mayaâs been through enough, and so have I. I couldnât risk you rejecting herâor me.â
He took a step closer, his expression earnest. âI could never reject you. Either of you.â
Your eyes met his, uncertainty flickering in them. âYou say that now, but you donât know the whole story.â
âThen tell me,â he urged gently.
You hesitated, but the sincerity in his voice broke down some of your walls. âHer dad⊠he left when I told him I was pregnant. Said he wasnât ready to be a father and walked away, a few months later I found out he was cheating on me and his mistress was also pregnant.. Since then, itâs just been me and Maya. And letâs just say people havenât exactly been kind about it.â
Donnieâs eyes became more serious. âThatâs⊠awful.â
You gave a bitter laugh. âYeah, well, it is what it is. Iâve gotten used to people looking at me like Iâve failed somehow. I didnât want you guys to look at me that way, too.â
âI donât,â he said firmly. âAnd I never will. Youâre one of the strongest people Iâve ever met, and from what I can see, youâre an incredible mom.â
Your breath hitched, and you looked away, blinking back tears. âYou donât have to say that.â
âIâm not just saying it,â he insisted. âItâs the truth. And Maya⊠sheâs lucky to have you.â
You let out a shaky laugh, finally meeting his gaze again. âYouâre really something, you know that?â
He smiled softly. âI could say the same about you.â
The two of you stood there for a moment, the tension easing into something quieter, more intimate. Finally, you broke the silence.
âDo you want to come inside?â you asked.
âAre you sure?â
You nodded. âMayaâs probably still a little scared, but⊠I think itâs time she met one of my friends.â
He followed you inside, his movements careful and deliberate. Maya was still on the floor, clutching her stuffed rabbit tightly. When she saw him, her eyes widened, but she didnât scream this time.
âHi,â Donnie said gently, crouching down to her level. âIâm Donatello. You can call me Donnie if you want.â
She didnât respond, her grip on the rabbit tightening.
âItâs okay, sweetheart,â you said softly, kneeling beside her. âHeâs a friend. Remember how I told you about Mommyâs special friends? Donnieâs one of them.â
Maya glanced at you, then back at Donnie. After a long pause, she whispered, âYouâre really tall.â
Donnie chuckled, relief washing over him. âYeah, I get that a lot.â
Your heart warmed at the sight of him interacting with her so gently.
As the evening went on, you found yourself smiling more, watching Donnie carefully build a tower of blocks with Maya. He was patient and kind, never once making her feel uncomfortable.
Maybe, just maybe, you had found someone you could trustânot just with your heart, but with hers, too.
#reader#x reader#y/n#tmnt#tmnt x reader#bayverse tmnt x reader#f!reader#tmnt bayverse#bayverse leonardo#bayverse mikey#bayverse donnie#bayverse raphael
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EVERYTHING WAS A MISTAKE â i. cheater.
‷ summary: Leaving home isn't hard, coming back to home is, you're determined to find your sister, but Gojo has many things to say to you.
‷ pairing: yandere!satoru gojo x fem!vampire!reader.
‷ warnings: angst, abuse (physical assault), a bit of gore, blood, abusive behavior, it's implied that Gojo has assaulted reader other times in the past, gaslighting, mentions of cheating, mentions of death, psychological violence (Gojo is manipulating the reader into thinking that everything is her fault), spoilers (JJK0).
‷ more information about story: here.
‷ notes: this chapter is a bit hard to read (it was hard to write too), if you are in an abusive relationship or have just come out of one reading it may cause triggers, so please stay safe. đ€ (I forgot to post the chapter yesterday, sorry. đ)
‷ word count: 2867.
Human lives are bubbles floating on the surface of the water, fleeting, but the life of a vampire is perennial, like the Pinus longaeva, which will last for millennia if it is not uprooted. You let go of Satoru's clothes, to whom you were clinging tightly until recently. The words he said to you seem like a bad joke, but the part of you that knows him knows that he wouldn't lie about such a serious matter. A million possibilities run through your head and none of them seem right. Your older sister is the current head of the clan, she succeeded your mother after her death, she is also married to Satoru's older brother and is therefore part of the Gojo clan by marriage, no one in their right mind would harm her, unless they wanted to provoke a war that they would never win.
In the past, after you broke one of the clan's three taboos, your sister came to understand your side of the story, and although you confessed your sins out of your own mouth without showing remorse, she knew you well enough to know that you would never commit a crime of this proportion unless it was truly necessary, you were hot-headed, not a serial killer. However, there was a limit to her influence, your sister had to withdraw from the investigation not long after, the other investigators claimed there was a conflict of interest and personal motivations on her part because you belong to the same lineage, although you knew very well why they wouldn't allow her to investigate, you comforted her by saying it was all a mistake.
You accepted the death sentence so that her and her family's reputation wouldn't be tarnished by her crimes, but when you found out what they would do with your corpse after your death, you had no choice but to run away. You escaped from prison and left everything behind, so you would never see your family again and would forever be an outcast, but you knew that Gabi, your beloved sister, still had hope.
You fall to the ground on your knees, your heart breaks into a million pieces that you may never be able to put back together, the tears flow endlessly, but you don't make a sound. Your sister once told you: "One day, I will die, and you will be the last member of our family. And when that day comes, you'll miss me so bad when I'm gone, Y/N!" She said it laughing, you didn't care because she was the head of the clan, and just like your mother, she would die of old age with three children or more, but now those words blowing in the wind have taken on a new meaning, as if she knew deep down that it would happen. You put your hand on your chest and lean forward until your face touches the carpet, you open your mouth to scream, there's no strength left in you to do so, only a bitter taste of defeat in your mouth.
Satoru gets down on his knees in front of you and hugs you, you don't pull back because it's the only comfort you can have right now, you cling to him like you're clinging to your last thread of hope, you allow yourself to cry because it's the only thing you can do right now. He's never seen you react like this, you never cry, you didn't shed a single tear at your own mother's funeral, you were like a beacon in the middle of a stormy night, strong and resilient, no one has ever been able to shake you, so seeing you so vulnerable makes him feel he needs to protect you. He lifts your face with both hands and wipes the snot off with the sleeve of his shirt, you're a wreck, but you muster the strength to get up. Now with a clear head, you know you have to solve this problem, no matter what.
"I'm going to kill them all." You mutter, the glow you're carrying fades and gives way to a gloomy aura, you turn away from Satoru, you're planning how to kill these people, there are too many of them and only one of you, but you've been in a similar situation before, so you think it won't be a big problem. "Thanks for warning me, but I don't want you to meddle this time, it's a matter of fa-"
Satoru suddenly interrupts you. You don't have time to associate what happened right away, it was so fast, only then do you realize that he's hit you, you touch your cheek and it's hot and tingling, your ear is ringing as if a bell is inside your head, and it feels like one of your eyes has popped out of your skull because you're not seeing well. You're so bewildered that he has to hold you so that you don't fall to the ground again.
"I don't know what the hell you're thinking, but stop. Now." He gently grabs your face and presses down on your right eye with his thumb in order to put it back in place, and you stand there as if you were a doll being carefully repaired. "You're a hothead, aren't you? God! Are you thinking of killing someone else? I hope not, I don't want to have to do it again." He scolds you, he doesn't like the idea of having to hit you, but you always cross the line, it's so annoying. "If you make a single slip-up, everyone's efforts will be for nothing, your sister's life is at stake and we still don't know the intentions behind the kidnapping, so. Stop. Acting. Impulsively." He spoke slowly and nodded, waiting for you to agree. "Answer me."
"But-"
"Answer." Somehow his aura seemed to pressure you, it's always like this, he says he doesn't want to hit you, but if you keep doing things the way you want, he'll hit you again and again until you stop, you shrug and he sighs. "Y/N... answer me, I won't do it again, so be a good girl and say you won't do anything."
"I won't act on impulse, I promise."
"Yes, yes. I knew you were still a good girl." His tone of voice has changed, the pressure on his shoulders is also gone, he pushes back a lock of hair and kisses your forehead, it's almost as if he's someone else. "I'd love to spend some time with you here, but we have to go now."
"Now?" You hear a pop, Gloria and the children are still waiting for you, you can't leave without saying goodbye, you look around the room for the bread basket and find it completely ruined, you let out a breath of air through your nose. "I couldn't go and see any of you anyway."
"Who are you talking about?" Satoru grabs you from behind and buries his face in your neck, you're tense and stiff, it would be bad if he found out about Gloria, he's not the kind of person who tolerates jealousy. But fortunately he doesn't seem to know, he sees the basket of bread on the floor and remembers the children you greeted earlier. "I didn't know you liked children so much."
"Oh, yes, of course?! So you were stalking me at that time too?" He replies with a 'mhmm', you roll your eyes. "You're awful." You let out a dry, mirthless laugh. "Oh, I never had a chance, did I?"
"I'm glad you know your place." He's so overbearing and arrogant, yet if you had only half the power he has, you'd act like it too. "I'll help the children later if you behave yourself on the journey back."
"Really?" Your shoulders relax, you lean in to look at him, he nods in agreement and you're relieved, but everything has a price...
"But you'll owe me one." He whispers unassumingly. "Two, actually." He holds up two fingers, you choke. "Or have you forgotten that I'm going to have to take you in secret?"
"I thought you were going to give me up! I even thought I would need Suguru's help."
"Of course not!" He shouts, irritated, an icy chill shakes your body, you lower your head and he continues shouting. "What kind of monster do you think I am? I would never hurt you, Y/N. I... I... forget it." He pushes you away and massages his temples, then stops abruptly and runs his hand over his face as if he's just remembered something. "Oh, one more thing, Suguru is dead."
"WHAT?"
"I killed Suguru, he committed some crimes, but nothing compares to the fact that he hid you from me." Satoru lets out an infamous chuckle, you can't believe what he's just told you, but given the circumstances, you know he's not lying, the only person who knew your whereabouts was Suguru. "You remember when you abandoned me, don't you? Didn't you think about me? How I might feel?"
"You weren't the only one I left behind, and-" You start to speak, but he signals you to shut up and stop making excuses he doesn't want to hear.
"But as far as I know you haven't abandoned Suguru, have you?" You feel the air get heavy and Satoru's shadow covers you, he seems much bigger than you or you're feeling too small, you don't know, you go back and grope the tree, there's nowhere to run, you close your eyes and wait, maybe for the next slap or something worse. "He told me everything before he died... so we have a lot to talk about, Y/N."
Mistrust is like a deadly poison that eats away at you from the inside, it makes love grow cold, but it also gives birth to a weed called resentment. There's no fixing something that's been broken, when you put the pieces back together, the cracks and scars of the breakage will be there forever, it will break again if you fill it with water. There is no way to mend the heart of someone who has already been betrayed or abandoned.
Satoru look at you with a fake smile, the corners of his mouth are twitching, a bad sign, there's no escape for a change, there's only the two of you on this deserted house, even if there was someone here no one would come to save you, there's no place you can use to hide, but there's no way and no reason to hide when the Six Eyes are looking for you. You open your mouth, but give and accept that there is no other option but to stay quiet, he seems satisfied with your decision, the smile on his face widens.
"Satoru..."
"You cheated on me." He repeats with tears in his eyes.
"WAIT, WHAT? I never cheated on you." You choke, you don't know if he's making it up or Suguru said something that made him get it all wrong. "I don't think this is the time or the moment to talk about it."
"But I do." He retorts. "You disappeared for ten years, Y/N. DAMNED. TEN. YEARS!" He puts a lot of emphasis on that. "You didn't try to contact me during that time, you didn't even make an effort to make me try to understand your side, but..." He paused dramatically. "There was enough space for Suguru to continue in your life. Do you know how painful it was to find out from him that you'd been in contact and seeing each other for all those years?" He frowns and laughs like a maniac. "What about me, Y/N? I was alone in the dark for ten years. I had no news of you, I didn't know where you were, how you were or if you were even alive, but he knew because he told me before he died." He scratches the back of his neck and bites his lower lip. "You didn't even bother to break up with me."
"You turned your back on me first! You spent weeks ignoring me before everything happened and-"
"Because YOU were hiding things from ME!" He shouts and points at you accusingly. "I never knew your side because you didn't trust me enough to open up to me, your own boyfriend." He uses both hands to point at himself, the veins in his neck and forehead bulging, he's furious. "But Suguru knew, because you told him everything, didn't you? You even asked for help to escape."
You choke, you don't know if Suguru revealed all the details to him, but your mind goes blank like a blank canvas for lack of arguments, you can't retort, because what he's saying is the truth, at no point did you consider the possibility of trying to contact him, you didn't explain why you killed all those people in the first place, you just accepted the fact that he hated you and decided to walk away without saying a word. Who told you he hated you? Did he really think you were a monster? The fine line between what was true and what wasn't was so thin that you couldn't tell the difference anymore.
"I forgave you for killing those people and for running away, but this..." He points at you and for a portrait of you and Suguru on the bedside table, then makes a cutting sign with his hands, shaking his head frantically. "I'll never forgive that. Never."
"I'm sorry."
"It's too late to say you're sorry." Satoru reaches into his pocket and pulls out a black blindfold. "You never really loved me, did you? You loved him, I was just... an idiot. That's the truth. I was just a substitute for him."
You see the tears streaming down his face, he brushes them away with the back of his hand as if he doesn't want you to see him cry, you feel your stomach lurch, you don't have the courage to approach him, it's bad enough to know that everything that happened in the past was a big misunderstanding, to be abandoned and in a way betrayed, you can't measure his pain. And although you have your share of the blame for his suffering, he has to understand that you were on the run, many came after you to kill you, familiar faces, you have a lot of traumas to carry, and you don't want or need to carry the weight of this ill-fated relationship, but you can't help it.
"I expected a little loyalty from you. But you're one of them." Satoru refers to the fame of vampires and their multiple partners, but you're not like the others, you really only loved him, but he's so blinded by hatred that he can't see. You love him so much that you trusted him with your life. "You... you cheating bitch, I did everything for you, I... I even tried to forgive you for it, but then you started thinking about going after him? HAHAHA, I'm really stupid."
"I'm not a cheater. I've NEVER cheated on you." A lump forms in your throat, you can barely defend yourself against these unfounded accusations, based on jealousy and paranoia, you sniffle and wipe away tears that wanted to escape from your eyes. "I swear, I never did that, I-" 'love you' You continue the sentence mentally.
You endured everything in silence for fear of sharing the burden with someone else, because you are afraid to lose everyone, but you also believe that if you had been honest from the beginning, he would have understood you, and maybe your sister wouldn't have had to go through what you're going through now, but now it's too late to be honest.
"You just used me and are still using me for your own gain, you just want to ensure your sister's safety and leave. Like everyone else... I'm just a tool for you."
"That's not true, stop it."
The truth hurts, and he's telling the truth, from the beginning you thought of him as a tool to find your sister, but not everything is true, you also want to spend time with him, since finding him again has ignited something inside you, but you don't have the strength to go against him. You take a step forward and he moves away, you reach out to touch him and he rejects you, it's so painful that you'd rather he hit you, you grab his hand and he's so cold, so distant, as if an abyss were separating you. You open your mouth to beg for forgiveness once again, but you feel a stinging pain in your head and heart, a buzzing in your ears makes you dizzy and makes you scream hysterically, your nose and ears began to bleed non-stop.
"Y/N?" Satoru's voice becomes distant and his image blurs. "Y/N?! Are you all right?"
"I... I... I feel... so... sorry... I... will... tell you... everything..." Your vision suddenly darkens.
The last thing you hear is Satoru's voice shouting your name.
#jjk x reader#jjk x you#yandere jjk#jjk gojo#yandere gojo x reader#satoru x you#yandere jujutsu kaisen#yandere x reader#yandere satoru x reader#yandere satoru gojo#yandere satoru gojo x reader#gojou satoru x reader#satoru gojo#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x reader
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Something I think about a lot is the people who went to school or lived in the same neighborhood as the ROTI cast seeing them on TV. Everyone in Cameronâs neighborhood knew that a kid lived in that house but they never knew or even really saw him; and now they get to know him for the first time, and they feel this weird mix of pride for him, as well as melancholy or even anger at the fact that he was kept inside his whole life. Lightning was a star in his community and everyone thought he had an idyllic life, until they saw the finale and found out how much pressure heâd been under all those years, and they canât see him the same way when he comes back. Zoey was an outcast at her high school and was ignored or even picked on by most of her peers, and they only realized how much of an impact that had on her when they watched her struggle to make connections over and over again until she lost her first real friend and snapped. No one liked Scott, everyone thought he was an asshole and knew he only got by via cheating and lyingâ but seeing him near catatonic after that shark attack, they canât help but feel horrified on a deep personal level, and remember some of the good or just pitiful things Scott did, and wonder if he really deserved something that terrible. Jo was bullied but never seemed intimidated or effected by it; when everyone sees her struggle with her body image, or worry about the things she hasnât done yet, or slip up and smile or help someone out, it both makes them realize that sheâs weaker than they thought and also that theyâre wrong for being happy about that. Similarly, Mike was widely treated as a freak and a delinquent, and had barely if any friends; seeing him open up about his DID on TV and learning where DID comes from created this sense of crushing guilt and horror for everyone whoâd ever picked on him or written him off or spread rumors behind his back. Anne Maria was beloved by people at her school and in her neighborhood, and seeing how people like Zoey treated her and watching her lose was devastating. Brick was always known to have a heart of gold, and while seeing that on TV was inspiring for some of his friends and peers at boot camp, it made him a new target for other kids and commanders, who saw him as soft and effete and not worth wasting time on. Sam never had many friends due to his nerdy interests and social awkwardness, and after seeing how kind he was on the show, everyone wishes theyâd given him a chance. Seeing Dawn properly mad at Scott during her elimination is super uncanny to everyone who knew her as the calm and collected local cryptid, and it reminds them that sheâs human (or at least humanoid) and makes them take her more seriously. Bâs community was rooting for them, since everyone knew how smart and thoughtful they were; seeing him get deadnamed by Chris and then get taken down by Scott made them genuinely mad on their behalf. Watching Dakotaâs last moments as a normal human girl was horrifying for everyone who knew her, especially because after the episode aired there was nothing they could do about it. Staci went on the show as the annoying girl who lied for attention, and she left the same way; no glory, no gold, just humiliation.
And this isnât even mentioning what their families felt watching the show, whether that be fear or pride or disappointment or angerâ either at Chris and the show or even at their own child, in some cases. Like, could you imagine coming back home to your family, your friends, your neighbors, your teachers, your coworkers, after theyâd seen you at your worst or most vulnerable on international televisionâ after everyone whoâd ever scrutinized or believed in you watched you lose big time. The horror and/or tragedy of ROTI doesnât end or even really start with the radioactive island; the things that led them there and the things they returned to could be dismal or scary in their own ways.
Anyways Iâm so normal about them rghhhhhh
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HEAR ME OUT! THEORY TIME!!
WHAT IF LADY OF AUTUMN'S LIFE AND BERON'S ARE CONNECTED!! (Similar to what Feyre and Rhysand did)
Beron didn't kill LoA for her cheating. Most likely motivated to preserve his own imagine and ego. How humiliating would it be, for a man like him, to be known around that he had been cheated on? Too much for that alphahole to handle. Better to sweep it under the carpet.
But why would Beron agree to raise Lucien?
Beron could get him killed, and no one would even need to know because it's not that hard to get rid of a baby without it looking too suspicious. (This sounds so very awful)
I kept thinking that LoA must have done an insane bargain with Beron to let her child live. And what if this bargain implies joining their lives?
Now you think. A High Lord having his life connected to someone makes his vulnerability double, right? Beron would never want that.
But truthfully... Who is Beron's biggest threat? Eris.
By the time Lucien was born Beron had already realized that Eris was a momma's boy. (Because he is and you can't change my mind on this)
"But Eris is trying to get Beron killed and he would never kill his mother" . Precisely, I don't think Eris knows about this, and this is Beron's ultimate weapon. Beron can entertain himself, looking at how far Eris will go, just to crash all of his hopes in the last second when he tells him the truth.
This would also explain why LoA seems to have such little freedom. If she cheated on Beron for decades we can assume she used to have more independence and freedom in her marriage. This does not seem to be the reality anymore (although we don't know a lot about her character), and that has probably changed after Lucien was born/the "bargain" was made. She kinda reminds me of Rapunzel in a way!
Now if Eris finds out he will not have it in him to kill his mother along Beron. If Lucien finds out, so won't he. If Helion finds out I don't think he would either.
(I've thought about the possibility of LoA having attempted to take her own life in the past, and somehow the bargain's magic not letting it work because it's like cheating on the magic, trying to run from the bargain or whatever. Now what if she attempts killing Beron herself? Would it work? Would it also not work?)
#beron acotar#beron vanserra#acotar#eris vanserra#eris acotar#lady of autumn#lady of the autumn court#loa acotar#loa#acotar series#acotar theory#lucien vanserra#lucien acotar#eris#lucien#beron#helion#helion acotar#autumn court#vanserras
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My life is falling apart :^
#i mean it really is not but the academics (school) are getting harder because our professors arent doing remakes (?) of the tests#they would do that for the students that fail so that they get another chance but now they quit that#and it was quite literally what saved maths for me#also with my quinceaños and my mom wanting everything to be secret and me not understanding who can know and who cant#that makes it mentally heavy to even talk about the subject with other people because i already told my cousin about the theme#and i think my mom is mad because of that#but she knows im not good with social things so idk why she was so surprised about that#AND ALSO MY DAD COMING HOME AFTER WORKING ON A CROUISE#thats exciting#but every time my mom talks about him its just negative things#and every time theres any flaw or thing thats not exactly good about me she always says that i got it from my dad#so thats very :/#and also shes cheating on him and i just have to. live with that.#but it still makes me mad yk#at least i have friends#thats good :]#but still everything else is just :'/ for me#but im getting my dream physique#step by step but im getting there#so thats good! i guess!#everything else is a mess tho#but anyways! i dont know what to do!#rant post#rant in tags#personal#i guess#ill just distract and overfocus on media for the rest of my life if shit keeps being like this
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#art tag#oc: leaf (pmd)#leafeon#pmd#pokemon#pokemon mystery dungeon#i have So many ideas its insane#im just not fast enough to draw it all#in the middle of making an 8 page comic for leaf and her ThoughtsTM back when she was just turned into an eevee#honestly. good for her. bc i used to focus so much on emerald & bronze when i was a kid and leaf was just. there#now she gets her own flavouring of trauma#not to say the others dont have their own brand but im focusing on leaf rn#bronze has been the most neglected bc i think he lived a fairly ok life#his big thing was the he was from amp plains and also personally knows both the manectric and luxray tribe leaders#not on purpose. he doesnt even want to really know them. his dad just happened to cheat on the both of those guys#and his other parent was the luxray#(bc i considered changing him to being a shinx partner before instead of being pikachu)#so hes the bastard son who felt like he didnt belong
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hear me out- HEAR ME OUT.
Terzo in his white "He is" music video suit and Copia with his white suit, together just like Nihil and Imperator in the "Dance Macabre" music video, having that peculiar wedding and kissing while it's raining blood-
#im sure i did this before but its all over my head again#anyway i dont fully comprehend why i see Nihil/Sister Imperator so copiiia coded but ive been having that though for several weeks#Nihil/Sister Imperator its just like straight copiiia to me but less real coz neither Terzo nor Copia would cheat#also MOAC and Future is a Foreign Land are so copiiia coded to me istg#Dude literally in my head there's this huge headcanon#were Sister distances Copia from Terzo cause she knows that Terzo is going to be just like his father#and she doesn't want Terzo to hurt Copia so she separate them#but man love is strong and Terzo and and Copia just love each other too much and I live for that love#Terzo ain't Nihil and yeah he probable hurt Copia more than one time but he loves him above everything and Terzo wouldn't cheat#and Copia aint giving up his feelings for Terzo either so they fight to be with each other#and then the fucking Tobias Forge shows up and cuts Terzo's head and put it in Copia's hand giving my little rat man the trauma of his life#ye anyways you get the point#alsoSister is painting Nihil's face and there is no HC that I love more than Copia painting Terzo's fac#I literally have a fanfic just about that lol#copiiia#c3#weas del luxito
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it's been nearly 6 months since the ted lasso finale and im still pretty much:
#ted lasso#messing with us tedbecca shippers and giving rebecca some rando...ruining a canon ship...trying to girl boss a character-#-who you didn't even let have her own work plot when it was time...#making two men who had a beautiful relationship growth fight last minute over said girlboss and making them grossly misogynistic#leaving one of your characters in an ab*s*ve relationship was an awful woman and all the mentioned ab*s*ve moments were-#-just for sh*ts and giggles#ohhh and also making it mandatory to forgive even the sh*tty people when it's ok not to#taking your lead away from a place he was most stable and maybe or maybe not having him get back with his ex who told him he was too much..#-got with their therapist (and you never dig deep into that mess) and maybe cheated...#yes to be with his son but there were options for him to stay in london and bring his kid and ex so they could both parent or show a-#representation of these kind of situations and maybe have henry living with each parent 6 months each and getting the best of both worlds#also your boss is more rich than she started and was providing for you your kid and ex#instead we get ted only deciding to leave after his mother told him his kid missed him (as if that isn't obvious) such a weak way to go-#-about it and tbh ted leaving his kid far away to go to london instead of like half an hour way is kind of stupid all round really#they wanted a mary poppins situation except mary poppins made some roots of her own and had connections so it didn'twork#yeah i am still...feeling a lot
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10 words every girl wants to hear
"jared, you have been evicted from the big brother house."
#blue kim don't interact#text post#bb25#blue kim can't interact bc she's in the big brother house#jared is really puttin his own mama to shame in national television. ooohhhh girlllll#yeah i read the spoiler. im upset about him being... obviously safe this week đ#kaily said after we finished watching the last episode: 'matt is cirie's son now'#shes so right#i didnt know i was gonna like matt so much đ„ș geez louise...#it's not enough for him to be easily the most beautiful person in the house... he also has to be a sweetie pie and a good player#i didnt know how i felt about him at first but i really really love him now. what he did for JAG!!!#i was feeling indifferent towards jag but he's grown on me as alliances have shifted#get jared and blue out before jury please. please.#cirie will have so much less to worry about if she doesn't have to worry about his dead weight#he's truly just leeching off of his mother's protection#and the edit is making him look so ok when he's out here being a jerk and a misogynist on the live feeds#HE AND BLUE ARE BOTH CHEATING ON PEOPLE OUT IN THE REAL WORLD??? NAHHHH CBS NAH YOU ARE NOT GONNA MAKE THIS A CUTE SHOWMANCE#in conclusion matt klotz is the first athlete i have ever cared about in my life
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do you ever think about what kind of lives your dragon age ocs had if they lived in a modern AU
#ok so damian would 100% be a med student i have that image so vivid in my mind#he'd like to be a pediatrician spesifically#and he would be into digital drawing and photography#would go to the gym like 7 days a week lmao with no cheating#he would live in england i think#would have at least three pitbulls#and a motorcycle#he would go to a lot art galleries and museums and have a picture of him and fenris kissing in front of some famous painting in instagram#speaking of instagram he has over 10k followers on his personal account and even more on his art account#oc: damian#sorry i've given this a lot of thought sksalskdk#sulahna would work a boring office job to make a living but would love to actually be a writer#but she has her son to think about so she can't just quit her well paying job to pursue her dreams yet#she'd be a stress baker and coffee snob also a gardening enthusiast#grows her own veggies in her little patio#her husband is still dead and she's very sad but then she meets an intriguing stranger in the train on her way to work đ«Ł#oc: sulahna#i haven't given a lot of thought what ashara would do because she's a little undeveloped still#but i think she would be a florist#with her own little shop#and would send secret messages through the flowers she gives to her friends/family#oc: ashara#oc tag#sorry for rambling i just think it#it's fun to think about
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Ya know, I'm starting to think a certain chunk of the OBX fandom just hates women lol
#yall fucking hate kiara and act like shes the worst person ever for... being confused about her own feelings#act like sarah is somehow worse because shes a fictional character who cheated on her shitty manipulative ex and is a bit impulsive#and somehow also hate sofia's guts even though she's barely had any screentime???? because she's rafes girlfriend??#like please chill about fictional women and their complicated love lives lol#like i get being annoyed or angry at the character choices (eg: having sarah 'flirt' with topper to 'get back' at john b- kiara's strange +#+ relationships with the male pogues or her 'stringing pope along' because she was confused about her own feelings about him- sofia kinda +#+ just showing up and not adding much to the plot other than having a lil talk with rafe about maybe not killing his dad lol) but like????#acting like these characters are inherently horrible for being complicated and making bad choices or being badly written is just weird#like people act like the only reason anyone would ever want kiara to be shipped with any of the guys is because they cant handle +#+ male/female friendships when like??????? she just has good chemistry with the guys and the only other good female character is sarah whic#like- if you just dont think theyd do good romantically but still wanna ship her then its not like you have much of a choice lol#RAMBLES IN TAGS#JESUS#sorry :)#some of yall just hate women lol- like just say it lol#THIS ISNT EVERYONE BTW.#some people just dont like the characters and thats fine#but like- violent hatred for these female characters for basically no reason is a bit MUCH#đȘČ#yall dont get tags- i dont wanna get jumped lol
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I love being the always single person in my family, mad respect to my sister for constantly dating guys for the last 8 years, I would have shot myself
#whenever my mom asks if i have love news of my own while we're talking about my sister's newest catch and i say no#i hope she doesn't feel pity because like. this is the life that i choose. my sister's ex boyfriends were enough for ME even#and i only met a handful of them personally but heard more than enough shit about them#i just always think i'm only flirting with some guys only to never talk to them again or ghost them because it's fun#fat girl who's always been seen as ugly by other people gets to flirt with good looking people is the ultimate ego boost arc#if i ever date anyone seriously again it better be true love and end in kids and marriage until death or i'll live as a hermit#until that happens tho...... life is a party i don't wanna miss a thing break some men's heart get revenge yolo etc etc#also the thought of actively dating freaks me out. if i meet someone and we tolerate each other long term that's good#but dating apps or going on dates with several people and deciding who's the best like on the bachelorette?? death first#plus i lowkey don't like men as a concept. at least the type i've dated. i guess you could say my last ex traumatized me hahaha đđ» (đšđš)#i think i'm too young to be in a committed relationship anyway. or even to seek getting into one. there are much more important things rn#i know former classmates my age are having kids or getting married but idgaf the one who got engaged last year has been with him for 7 year#which is a decent time tbh you change quite a bit during that time and if it feels right why not#but i can't wrap my head around searching for a relationship when you don't even have a stable job and know what else you want in life#rambling again sorryyyy but yeah proud single here and i'm not saying this out of spite because i genuinely enjoy it#all relationships i've been in were so draining (tbf they were long distance too) and got me at rock bottom and had me filled with regret#also these men can be so controlling and jealous when you just wanna go out with friends while they do whatever they want too#but when you say you don't want a jealous partner they think that's a free pass for them to cheat like what the actual fuck#do you see the difference between being unnecessarily jealous when you hang out with friends and being rightfully jealous when they cheat??#at this point idk what to say. i'm very entertained by my friends' dating journeys but that couldn't be me#all the gossip i provide for them is which people i flirted with for the ego and who i ghosted and who ghosted me#mel talks
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I just finished watching S2E13 The Stan Who Came To Dinner, and there's a scene I didn't remember before in which Stan asks for Dorothy's forgiveness for all the times he cheated on her, because he wants to face his operation with a clear conscience. Which is,, yikes, of course, but also not the thing I want to talk about right now.
What surprised me is that Dorothy seems to be shocked at his revelations? It seems like she really didn't know about Stan's infidelity? I mean, the whole dialogue begins with her saying:
"I've already forgiven you for that, Stanley. Besides, in the grand scheme of things, it's not bad to wait 38 years to make your first big mistake."
I initially thought his mistake was divorcing Dorothy (since his line before this one is 'I love you, Dorothy. That sounds crazy because I walked out on you, but it's true.' ), but then he admits that the divorce wasn't his first mistake, because he's cheated on Dorothy before -- and she seems genuinely taken aback:
"I cannot believe this. I cannot believe that I am hearing this. I always assumed something like this could happen, but..."
And this was so strange to me, because I always sort of assumed she did know. She even caught him one time! In S7E8-9 The Monkey Show, she recounts this episode about Stan:
"[...] I rehearsed my speech and I made arrangements to meet him at a coffee shop. I got there five minutes early and caught him necking with a waitress."
So... she does know (of at least one time)? But then, why didn't she say anything?
I feel like there's three possible answers:
She really doesn't know. She thought the incident with the waitress was a one-time occurrence, and she's believed him all throughout their marriage when he said he was 'going at a convention' or 'working late' or whatever excuse he used to cover his actions.
She's lying to him in the S2E13 scene -- and she's lied to him all throughout their marriage. She does know about his affairs, and never confronted him because she wanted to keep their marriage and their family together more than she hated his guts; she didn't want to rock the boat, so to say. What shocks her in the S2E13 scene is that he's admitting this stuff out loud, with plenty of details.
She lied to herself all throughout their marriage. As trustful of him as Dorothy can be (and as trustful of him as she was in her youth, especially), she's also a smart cookie, and Stan's not really the sharpest tool in the shed. It's hard for me to believe that she never figured out that he was cheating on her, especially after catching him with that waitress; it's easier to think that she forced herself to believe his gaslighting, as part of her efforts to be a good wife to him. When Stan (sort of...) comes clean, she's shocked because it's sinking in, in real time, that she was right.
I'm not sure which option is more likely; I feel like it's probably a mix of the three. At the beginning of their marriage she likely didn't think it possible and believed everything he told her; once she caught him with the waitress, she had a sort of transition phase where she tried to believe he was faithful to her even though she knew the truth, deep down, and then by the end of her marriage she was over it, and simply chose not to let him have it. She's shocked in S2E13 because she can't believe he's admitting this stuff out loud, but she doesn't seem as shocked (and angry) as she would be if she was just finding it out in the moment, imho.
I also feel like her knowing about his infidelity doesn't change the meaning of the first mistake line, because, well... he's always come back before. He's come back to hurt her again and again, but he has come back -- and then she gets a phone call, and suddenly, for the first time, he's not coming back anymore. It's the one time that's so devastatingly painful it eclipses everything that came before -- no wonder she counts it as his first mistake.
#it's 'thinking about dorothy's marriage' hours once again folks#ohh dorothy... oh honey.......#there is so much going on in this episode this is just a part of it. the mere fact that this sorry excuse for a man comes to her for help?#and then he proceeds to LIVE IN HER HOUSE for months?? being waited upon for his every request??#and then he has the gull to LIE TO HER and fake a relapse just to keep being waited upon?? he asks for her forgiveness for his cheating???#he TELLS HER HE LOVES HER??? bitch im going to murder you!!!! leave the woman alone!!!!!!#blanche and rose and sophia are really good in this one they *do not* let him catch a breath i'm so grateful for them#half their time is spent insulting stan and the other half supporting dorothy. perfect no notes#i only wish dorothy telling stan to 'grow up' and to stop relying on her had had any consequence... and instead#he kept bothering her until the very end like the parasite he is#i also wish blanche and rose had kept this energy for the whole 'dorothy remarries stan' thing but oh well#that answer 3 is hurting me so much... like the mere idea...#i can see her lying in her bed at night alone and trying to convince herself that surely. this time. he really is away on a work trip.#there's no way he's having another affair. he's working. he's providing for the family. surely this time he didn't lie#but deep down she knows. she knows he's with someone else. and it eats her up even worse because she pretends everything's fine#AGH dorothy!!!! girl you should have planted a knife between his eyes!!! im sure you would have gotten away with it!!!#i'll go back in time and do it for you if you won't do it!!! just PLEASE girl stop giving him the benefit of the doubt!!!!!#YOU DESERVE BETTER!!!!#the golden girls#dorothy zbornak
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i'm so glad there's a weekly boss i can use him to fight, as underbuilt as he is rn
#âąâËâč đ©·â„rubyâ„yoïŒide yo !!#i let baizhu borrow layla's tenacity set cuz i just have way more hp on it#and the deepwood 4pc effect is irrelevant in this team#(ignore bennett's hp i was dumb and took a big hit right before i finished scaraboss off)#i /can/ use him to fight andrius and dvalin#but i really don't need any more drops from them. i farmed them to death cuz they were the only weeklies i could beat for a long time#i guess i could try using him against azhdaha like i did on the alt#azhdaha always makes me nervous tho#i also don't need that many childe drops. the only characters that use childe drops that i care about are albedo and zhongli#fighting the shogun with him is a living hell cuz she moves so much and i suck at this game#apep too but doubly so because of the second phase that really needs aoe. which lyney isn't great at#also bringing bennett to fight apep doesn't feel very good#my cyno hyperbloom team feels so much like a cheat code#i fight half of the weekly bosses with cyno-baizhu-xingqiu + appropriate flex for each#chongyun for shogun shield breakingïŒkazuha for apep second phase groupingïŒfischl for particles#i really owe so much to cyno man#even though his build honestly still kinda sucksïŒhim and his hyperbloom team make literally all the content clearable#anyway back to lyney#i can't wait to get him on marechaussee and not have to worry about crit rate for once in my life#but giving him song of stillness is my number one priority rn#and these fucking bosses are giving me neither billet nor dream solvent#i wish farming dendro sigils was an option. but it's literally the last billet the tree gives at lvl 44#my tree is at lvl 22. i would need 770 dendro sigils to get that billet#it would honestly be faster to just get a second dream solvent from weeklies
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