#and also sex without love exists. and so does romance without love. and dating without love. and so on! i dont want to derail the post but

[buddiewho]

"Now that the competition is out of the way"

I am going to yet again say that I have not fully caught up, so what I know of is spoilers and this post technically has nothing to do with the last two episodes…anyway, I am still hung up on "now that the competition is out of the way." Sure, Buck, could end up having grief sex with Tommy, but I'm honestly baffled at how there is any logic in pursuing a relationship again?? I am really trying, but I cannot come up with anything that makes sense. From a storytelling POV we have brought in the question, "in love with Eddie?" Are you? I mean that wouldn't be so bad…" or whatever Maddie had said. Why bring this up? Hell, I'd rather accept unrequited love on Buck's part as he pines after his straight best friend over Buck and Tommy pursuing a relationship again. What I mean to say, I think the episode in which Tommy came back and said the shit he said in Eddie's house- well that ruined my view on BuckTommy. We have a man who decided to instantly break up and say "I was the first, but not your last…" and now in the context of the information we've got, a lot of that stems from him thinking Eddie is competition. This also lends to an interpretation that Tommy has and that is not trusting in his partner?? So you see signs that maybe just maybe this little new bisexual has feelings for his best friend, but you cannot hold that over someone's head in a relationship even jokingly (you simply end it as that did happen, but then when you see them again you joke, but also get a little seriously huffy about it…) If I'm Buck waking up from a fun time with an ex, who I might consider trying again with, and so I ask, then he says the shit he does about me and my best friend I'd be like, well, that answers that.

Tommy would still feel insecure about our relationship for whatever reasons he has inside his head. I get it, I am now in the house he used to rent, sure there can be logical leaps, but at the end of the day all of what has been said by Tommy really just paints the picture of someone who has been insecure in this relationship the whole time and would still be even if they tried again. So on the other side of this, I can argue a deep deep denial on Buck's part…but right now I'm focused on why BuckTommy should not happen again.

What I would like to see when we come back, is Buck vehemently denying any attention from Tommy and for Buck to realize who he wants in this stage of immense grief: Eddie. He wants Eddie to comfort him. He wants his sister. I just want Buck to say it out loud, "I don't want your comfort. I get you're here in solidarity as a firefighter. Fine." Then he continues about his day, paying no attention to Tommy (and Eddie is also paying no attention to Tommy). Yeah okay, Bobby once said, "Tommy is good people." Yes, that could be true but simultaneously he said some shady shit, made assumptions and remained insecure about dating Buck. Personally, I could care less about Tommy's past with Abby, that wouldn't stop me if I wanted a relationship with the man, but what would stop me is all of the shit he has said since we broke up and saw each other again. Also, reminder that Eddie apparently full on ghosted Tommy after he broke it off with Buck, so there is that in Tommy's head too. After all, though, a few drinks and your ex is so damn hot…yeah, we're going to sleep together tonight. Feeling lonely and seeing an ex then also sleeping with ex is also something that can exist. I believe things can exist simultaneously, without cancelling out the other thing (but some things can CANCEL out the other thing). Buck and Tommy felt lonely. They know each other. There's still attraction so that shit happens.

Logically, I can wrap my mind around that, but it is the shit that was said the next morning and how that WOULD CANCEL OUT ANY CHANCE OF A REKINDLED ROMANCE.

For me, "Now, that the competition is out of the way," just puts the brakes on BuckTommy. It also distresses me to think you wasted so much time telling a story of them dating, for them to then break up, and then you send Eddie Texas (for valid reasons), but still you send that character to Texas while also putting Buck into the house Eddie once rented and then Tommy comes back and says the shit he says and out of that I'm supposed to believe a BuckTommy relationship could flourish?

It would be wasted story telling when you could have just kept them happily together and not overshadowed Eddie in the BuckTommy relationship. If Tommy is constantly thinking he will lose out to Eddie, then that is being insecure in the relationship. Also, Buck as we've seen would still remain in constant contact with Eddie, so what then? Tommy starts to resent the FaceTime calls, and starts to ask him to speak to Eddie less? You see how the show has from Tommy's POV made Eddie the problem competition?

Therefore, it would just be shitty of either Buck or Tommy to consider getting back together, now especially in the after math of a major character alleged death.

[4rk4n4]

If you are not asexual, I am revoking your permission to participate in discussion re: Viktor being coded as asexual by Christian Linke. I am being over dramatic as an attention graber, but I am nonetheless serious about this topic.

There is a level of nuance that you absolutely need to consider in order to participate in that discussion that a lot of people are lacking in that discussion.

As a chronically ill/disabled asexual person, it is very aggravating to see both able bodied and disabled people who are not asexual talk about how harmful it is to portray a disabled person as asexual.

Our existence is not harmful. It is not bad for characters to be both disabled and asexual. We deserve to be represented, too. What matters is how that is done.

I am going to break down the quote by Christian Linke for you by addressing the arguments it created, and I do not want or need a rebuttal if you are not asexual aromantic and disabled.

This is not meant to be a defense of Christian Linke's opinions. It is meant for fans to understand and navigate these discussions without pissing off living breathing asexual aromantic disabled people like myself.

To me, Viktor was always asexual, and that was always something we talked about from the very beginning. So, a romantic relationship between Jayce and Viktor was just never part of it. There is a love, absolutely, but we also found it a bit... Love and relationships are so complex and take so many different forms. Viktor loves in a different way, and that's okay, no?

1) "He's conflating asexuality and aromanticism!"

In the early stages of our community, asexuality and aromanticism were often lumped together. Asexual aromantic people often referred to themselves as just asexual, myself included, because this was the language we had at the time.

Today, that has changed because of the split attraction model that split the concepts of sexual and romantic attraction to better suit those whose sexual and romantic identity did not align. This is an important tool for many asexual people.

To this day, though, you may still find "asexual aromantic" people simply refer to themselves as asexual for a variety of reasons - one being that not everyone finds it useful to split their identity in such a way and/or their sexual and romantic identity are too closely linked to separate.

Overall the language norms have changed, but this is most definitely a case of someone using an (out)dated understanding of asexuality to essentially write an asexual aromantic character. That is what he is saying here. He is just saying it in a clumsy manner.

2) "Being asexual doesn't mean you can't fall in love!"

That does not change that he intended to write a character who is essentially asexual aromantic. He states that Viktor "loves in a different way," which indicates something that is not sexual or romantic as these are the most easily identifiable forms of "love" recognized by most people.

We know in the asexual and aromantic communities that sex and romance do not have to be linked. That does not change that they are linked for some. That includes people who experience an absence of both sexual and romantic attraction. For us, "love" looks very different.

There are other ways in which asexual aromantic people who do not experience either may form deep relationships with other people, that we may or may not define as a form of "love."

We may use different language to talk about "love" outside of sex and romance, such as queerplatonic love. This is not the same as "brotherly love" or "just friends" or a simplistic version of "platonic love" that is usually placed lower in importance. Learn to use our language correctly if you're going to comment on it.

3) "He's trying to delegitimize Jayvik!"

By arguing that Jayce and Viktor's relationship must be sexual and/or romantic in order to be valid, you're placing relationships as a whole in a hierarchy with the relationships that asexual aromantic people have on lower, less important rungs.

You should not be arguing that either asexuality or aromanticism delegitimizes a relationship. You should be arguing that it doesn't do that.

That way if a writer or artist is intent on using our orientation as a tool to delegitimize a relationship and discourage fan investment, as you all suspect that Christian Linke is doing, you can defend your interest in the relationship without hurting asexual aromantic people.

4) And finally, "Claiming a disabled character is asexual is harmful!"

Issues facing the asexual community and the disabled community overlap because we're both defined by lack of ability. As such, asexuality is pathologized and the sexuality of disabled people is erased - not recognized, erased.

No one actually recognizes disabled people as asexual as we define it. They view disabled people as incapable of having an identity and being able to define themselves altogether, whereas asexuality is an identity that is chosen by individuals to describe their own experience.

Ableism takes away the agency to define one's self away from disabled people.

Asexual disabled people exist because we do have the agency to define our own experiences. For some asexual disabled people, their identities are linked in some way, while for others they're separate. That does not make it "problematic" for them to exist.

Fictional characters are not the same. They do not have agency to define themselves because they are not real, and therefore it cannot be taken away from them. Real people and their experiences that may influence the depictions of these characters are not problematic for existing authentically as themselves.

If you are concerned that a writer or artist is stripping away the nuance of these overlapping identities, you can address that without alienating people who are both asexual and disabled.

For example, you can do that by challenging any of the stereotypes that impact both groups, such as the infantilization we face or the assumption that we don't contribute to society in a meaningful way or that our lives don't have value because of the systematic barriers that exist to prevent us from participating fully in society.

-

If you personally do not agree with how the writer chose to interpret the character they wrote, fine. You can imagine Viktor and his relationship with Jayce differently. I'm all for you interpreting the characters however you want, especially since this writer told, but didn't show, that the character is explicitly meant to be asexual.

That does not make it acceptable to create a discourse in this fandom that is hostile to the existence of asexual aromantic people and/or asexual disabled people, just because you view our existence as detrimental to your shipping habits.

[weyounthevorta]

EDIT: Check out the newer version here, which has juicy new spicy content and two new characters (Harriman Gray and the Captain)

I saw something similar posted by @undeadgayboynes and was inspired to create my own. Which Combs character would you date?

Thy’lek Shran (Star Trek Enterprise)

‪Pros: Strong sense of justice, good at what he does, sexy, energetic. He’ll fight for what’s right and he’ll protect you with his life. He has a soft side and he’s not afraid to show it.‬

Cons: Hotheaded, a bit rash.

Anton Mordrid (Doctor Mordrid)

Pros: Fights evil, lives a quiet life. Financially stable. Has a romantic streak. Is an all around sweet guy who will bring you breakfast in bed and read to you. He teaches you wizardry.

Cons: Absolutely tragic sense of style.

Chaz (Dead Man Walking)

Pros: Is objectively very cute. He’d risk his life for yours without question. He works past his fear to achieve his goals. No doubt a snuggler big on showing affection.

Cons: Is a bit whiney, possibly has the plague. Tragic taste in nicknames.

Crawford Tillinghast (From Beyond)

Pros: Brilliant scientist and inventor. Submissive and sweet. Romance with him would be chaste and old fashioned. He’d do his best to keep you safe. Cute little guy in a big sweater.

Cons: Sexually repressed. A bad luck magnet. Despite his best efforts, trouble finds him.

Andrew Paris (Phantom Empire)

Pros: Strong sex appeal. Wears the tightest pants in existence. He wouldn’t object to spontaneous adventures. A relationship with him would be impulsive and quirky.

Cons: Any girl who flirts with him is a legit threat. He’s a slutty, wanton little strumpet.

Bill Knight (Felony)

Pros: Handsome, charismatic crime fighter. Eager to hop in bed with you if you show a smidgeon of kindness toward him. He whimpers very prettily. He’s quick and agile.

Cons: He is a total hazard. You’re in the line of fire if you hang with him. He may break into your house. He’s flown through an absurd number of windows.

D-Day (Fortress)

Pros: Adorable, good with machines. There’s kindness in him. He will risk his life for his friends. A relationship with him would consist of tentative, shy, and guarded advances.

Cons: He is easily led into dangerous situations. He needs a dentist. Hes in jail.

Weyoun (Star Trek Deep Space 9)

Pros: Ethereal. Obscenely sexy. Knows what he wants and how to get it. If he chooses to be devoted to you, he’ll be loyal unto death. Loves to have fun, and loves to tease. Kinky.

Cons: Religious nut. Can’t appreciate art, food, and many simple pleasures. Manipulative.

John Reilly (Castle Freak)

Pros: Handsome DILF. He wants to improve his life. Repentant of his sins, affectionate.

Cons: Touch starved, desperate, directionless, alcoholic, and when he falls off the wagon he falls all the way off. He also comes from a family of lunatics so there’s that.

James Wilkins (Hunter S07E13)

Pros: Sensual as fuck. Life with him would be a roller coaster ride of sex and danger. Tattoos, leather, fast cars, and he can’t keep his hands off you.

Cons: He’s a thief and a murderer. He’s attracted to women more dangerous than he is.

Milton Dammers (The Frighteners)

Pros: Once upon a time he was probably a sweet guy. He wants to rid the world of evil so desperately that he’s sacrificed his own sanity to do it.

Cons: He’s a broken man. He’s completely lost his grip on reality. He’s scarred, scared, troubled, and no you can’t fix him.

Herbert West (Reanimator)

Pros: Definitely handsome. On some level he wants to do something great for humankind. He’s capable of affection in his own bizzare way. Life with him would certainly never be dull. Despite his abrasiveness he’s got an undeniable magnetism.

Cons: Morals? Never heard of ‘em. Healthy boundaries are a non starter. His definition of intimacy likely won’t be aligned with yours. He will latch onto you like the codependent, murderous, evil little gremlin he is until one or both of you is dead or in jail.

[readingtillmidnight]

Key Lime Sky by Al Hess

Release date: 13 August 2024

Genre: science fiction

Representation: trans, pansexual, non-binary, and queer rep; NB/M romance, autistic, non-binary, part-Indigenous American main character with visible stims and sensory sensitivities; plus size Latino love interest

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Synopsis

Driving home from a roadside diner, Denver witnesses a UFO explode directly over his tiny town of Muddy Gap. When he questions his neighbors, it appears that Denver is the only person to have seen anything – or to care that the residents’ strange behavior, as well as a shower of hail-that-isn’t-hail, might be evidence of something extraterrestrial. Being both non-binary and autistic, he’s convinced his reputation as the town eccentric is impeding his quest for answers. Frustrated, he documents the bizarre incidents on his failing pie blog, and his online popularity skyrockets. His readers want the truth, spurring him to get to the bottom of things.

The only person in town who takes him seriously is handsome bartender, Ezra. As the two investigate over pie and the possibility of romance, the alien presence does more than change the weather. People start disappearing. When Denver and Ezra make a run for it, the town refuses to let them leave. Reality is folding in on itself, and it’s suddenly a race against time to find the extraterrestrial source and destroy it before it consumes not only Muddy Gap but everything beyond. Denver’s always been more outsider than hero, but he’s determined to ensure that a world with Ezra – and with pie – still exists tomorrow.

Content warnings

violence, injury, gore

anxiety

on-page autistic meltdowns

fatphobia

ableism

parental drug addiction and verbal abuse

open door sex and sexual elements

hospitalization

alcohol use

mentions of racism, police, and jail time

also confinement/imprisonment

Review

Thank you to NetGalley for an ARC!

This book was such a fun ride from start to finish. Denver's PoV is perfect for narrating this story, they are so interesting and observant and engaging, their perspective really makes this story.

This book is pretty fast-paced, but at the same time, the story didn't feel rushed at all! Like, I feel that everything was given enough Time and Space to be fully developed.

I think this book does a good job of balancing the romance with the main plot, without compromising on either aspect. I find that a lot of the time books about Mysteries™️ either focus on the plot and throw in the romance as a side plot, or focus on the romance with the mystery serving as a backdrop to the relationship. However, I feel that in this case, both the plot and romance are properly fleshed out, with both aspects being given equal weight in the narrative.

I loved Denver and Ezra's relationship so much!! The way their relationship develops as they meet and learn more about each other, and the way they do their best to support each other was so!!!

I also want to add that I liked how purposeful the author was with Denver and Ezra's sex scenes, in that it makes sense in the narrative and feels meaningful.

The plot was also really engaging. I'm not super into aliens, but it was fun to follow along as they try to unravel the mystery.

I want to rave about this book some more but I don't want to give everything away, so I will end it here. Anyways, this book is really good! Go read it!!

P. S. I am not a pie girlie BUT the pie descriptions sound so good. HOWEVER I am definitely a sandwich girl and I really want to try The Denver Sandwich.

[crimeronan]

hi this is random and you might be like “why are you asking me this” but I genuinely don’t know where else to look for info/advice. but like. how does one go about finding a queerplatonic partner/relationship. I exist in very queer social circles and most people I know have never heard that term, I’ve never seen it irl, and there’s obviously very little representation in media to go off of. do people like. put it in their tinder profiles? is there a secret qpr dating app? is it just a matter of meeting people and explaining what you want like any other relationship? anything you can share either about how it worked for you or about other resources you know of would be helpful. if it’s too personal and/or you don’t want to answer this for whatever reason feel free to ignore

i wish i had a better answer for you, but i've actually never sought out any of my relationships on purpose -- it's always just been meeting people, becoming close friends, and then deciding we want to make a permanent commitment.

my qpp was my best friend before she was my partner. also, we'd spent like 7 years roleplaying a moirallegiance between homestuck characters. moirails are platonic soulmates in canon, working our relationship around that definition is what worked for us. i used the term moirail long before i used the term qpp and switched to the latter simply because my circle is mostly normies now KFSKDJ

with that said, the one place i CAN point you to is bumble BFF, which is a dating app but for platonic friendships. if your profile is loudly openly queer, you're a lot more likely to match with other queer people who understand qprs. but with pretty much everyone i've met who has a queerplatonic partner, it was less like dating someone and more like already being friends & going "hey, i love you so much. do you want to get married without any of the sex or romance"

if anyone else has experiences wrt this, feel free to rb or reply to let anon know!

[jakowskis]

💖💙💜 owen harper bisexuality masterpost 💖💙💜

i've had this in my drafts for a minute but i figured i'd finish it up and post it today for bisexual visibility day :D

it hasn't cropped up recently, but i've seen a lot of people who've questioned owen's bisexuality over the years and i thought i'd compile all the 'evidence' (although it completely baffles me that we got a show with five canonical bisexual characters and people want to write two of them off as straight / "heterflexible" ?? there shouldn't have to be 'proof' of owen being bi, RTD said torchwood is about five bisexuals fighting aliens in cardiff which means they're all bi, full stop. also, bisexuals should never have to 'prove' they're bi, and in regards to fictional characters, i'm sick of people nit-picking who 'deserves' to be counted as rep and refusing to 'claim' certain characters if they're morally grey or if the fandom simply doesn't Like them as much-)

but i digress.

so without further ado, here's everything i've found that supports owen's status as a bicon :-)

explicit canon instances

➤➤ obviously, we have to start with his gay kiss in the first episode of the show. there's a lot to be said about that kiss, i'm not gonna get into all that here, but i've seen a lot of people say it's not proof of owen being attracted to men, and i wholeheartedly disagree. you can literally catch him smiling very happily after the kiss (and one of owen's few genuine smiles of the series, too). i don't think a straight man (or even a "heteroflexible" man) would beam at another guy who's just informed him that he wants to fuck him. a fair amount of people have also said they interpreted owen calling the taxi as him intending to get away from the couple, but i don't understand how they're getting that impression, because that smile makes it seem very much apparent to me that running away is the last thing he wants to do.

it's also, notably, the first time we see bisexuality IN the bisexual show, which i don't think should be discounted. like, we see owen do something gay before jack does, for fuck's sake. is it a good first impression of how torchwood portrays bisexuality? no. is setting owen up as a more sex-driven, opportunistic bisexual nicely contrasted against ianto & tosh's more romance-oriented brand of demisexual bi/pansexuality? in my opinion, yes. i love that the torchwood bisexuals all practice their bisexuality in different ways. that's very special to me. 'cause it's realistic! real bisexuals all experience bisexuality differently! obviously it'd be a different story if he was the only bi rep, because lord knows we've seen enough of that already, but torchwood makes an effort to show us five different brands of bisexuality, and five different bi stories that largely only exist in the subtext, that aren't the focus of the show, and it's fantastic. it's all i could ever want out of bi rep, honestly, even if it is a bit dated now.

➤➤ the other explicit moment in the show: asking tosh and ianto for an end-of-the-world threesome in sleeper (s2ep2). i've actually never seen owen bi-deniers (fhdskjf it's a conspiracy) even mention this scene. owen literally asks ianto if they can have sex with each other to his face, and he's dead serious when he asks it. that's... i mean you can't mistake that as anything else. like fhdsjkf??

➤➤ next we jump to some of the, i suppose, extended universe content. whether the books are canon or not is debated, but the novel 'another life' features owen playing an online simulation game, and it makes a point to depict owen flirting with someone with a male avatar + wondering to himself if the guy would be down for cyber-sex. [someone posted part of that scene here. for context, owen's also got a VR headset on during that bit.]

➤➤ another instance is on the website, which some also don't regard as canon, but, i mean, i don't know who worked on the things we see on that site, but obviously they got their information from somewhere. they probably consulted with the writers on the show, or at the very least got notes on what things to touch on. anyway, there's a portion of the site where you can find a 'background check' on owen, and it's just a collection of messages from some ex-lovers of his. one of them is a man.

again, some people disregard the canon validity of the website, but the way i see it, the information on this site was released while the show was airing for fans to look at and to gain further insight on the characters. one of the things they felt a need to tell us about owen, important enough to be featured in his background (wayyy before the katie plot was developed), was that he wasn't just interested in women. personally, i regard that as canon. you can find this here. and even if you wanna say fragments jossed this background, it doesn't joss his, like... identity.

next we have things said by russell t. davies himself + by burn gorman (owen's actor)

➤➤ again, RTD (who's torchwood's creator, but i'm assuming everyone reading this knows that) explicitly described torchwood as "a bunch of bisexuals living under cardiff and fighting aliens". that's not ambiguous. [i don't have a direct source for this quote, it was apparently said on the dvd extras.]

burn's comments on owen's sexuality include...

➤➤ (when asked who owen fancies) "Owen's pretty cocky, he'll try it on with whoever comes along." [x] and yes, this is vague, but vagueness is often interpreted as proof of bisexuality. (for example, in the pacific rim dvd features, newt's bio stating he was interested in "whoever will take him" was widely interpreted by the fandom as him being bi.)

➤➤ (in regards to owen's "let's all have sex" line) "I don't think he [...] thinks about the implications, or whether it's with a man or a woman." [x]

(ok i have to admit, although i absolutely adore burn, i'm not super fond of the way his 2006-08 self would talk about how torchwood handled sexuality*. however! he kind of hit the nail on the head in saying that, even if it's in the context of owen wanting end-of-the-world sex, because my take on how owen sees his own sexuality has always essentially boiled down to thinking he'd be like, "well, why wouldn't men also be an option?" (well, with sexual attraction anyway; i think owen's relationship with romantic attraction is far more complex.) i think he resembles jack in that way; anyone's a prospective sexual partner, if they're attractive and interesting and he decides he wants them, and he's also impulsive as hell, so he doesn't think too hard about gender in the moment if he decides he's into someone. there's not really any hang-ups.)

➤➤ and ofc...

(out of context this could look like he's just jokingly calling owen an alien-fucker, although owen makes his thoughts on alien-fucking pretty clear in countrycide lol, but it was said in the context of owen/andy as a ship [x].)

*if you're wondering what i'm referring to, it's a comment here [x] about how the torchwood team's bisexuality is a result of being in a pressure cooker environment and having a 'wartime mentality', and they just kind of 'take what they can get'. the implication that bisexuality is out of desperation/accessibility rather than attraction is pretty damn icky, BUT i love him lots and he generally seems to be pretty woke these days (+ otherwise has always seemed to grasp why torchwood's rep was so unique and groundbreaking and important) so i'll go ahead and hope that was just, y'know, simple 'being a straight guy in 2008' ignorance. fifteen years is a long time and i have faith his opinions have evolved by now, esp considering he used the word 'pansexual' at a 2016 con [x]. (actually, ok, you caught me, that last bit wasn't super relevant and i didn't need to bring it up, but i just wanted to gush about him doing it because how often do you hear that word out of celebs, especially older and presumably straight ones. and in 2016, too. kinda slay of him, ngl)

aaand finally, some random, non-explicit little things that i think support him being a bisexy king (several of these are goofy and half-serious)

➤➤ in episode 2, they make a point to cut to owen smiling after jack's line about "you people and your quaint little labels". one might argue he's smiling at gwen & carys on the screen, but cutting to him immediately after jack says it very much implies he's reacting to jack's words, and i think it's particularly poignant after, again, we saw him kiss a man the episode prior. (which, another thing - owen's literal introduction features him kissing a man, like that's gotta count for something. if the literal third thing i ever see a male character do ever is kiss a guy, that means something.)

➤➤ and of course, in the same episode, we get "period military is not the dress code of a straight man" .... owen's the only one of them with working gaydar. also what a fruity thing to say

➤➤ speaking of fruity things to say, in s2e10 when they're all watching the old film, owen goes "look at the state of them 💅" and he says it SO cunty for no reason it always kills me fhsdkjfd

➤➤ combat.

➤➤ no, really.

➤➤ bonus: in the combat commentary, it's mentioned that when RTD saw the above scene between mark & owen, he said it was "the gayest thing he'd ever seen".

➤➤ in the three monkeys, a big finish audio featuring owen & andy, owen flirts with andy repeatedly. even if he just does it to be annoying, it's still pretty damn gay. also the pet names... (he calls him sweetheart, sunshine, and tiger. it's half-mocking, sure, especially because it's owen, but there's also a domesticity to it.)

➤➤ and then there's the hope's "you're alive again and you want crisps?!" "be glad that's all i'm asking for" (owen was like 'i will not use this as an excuse to try to sleep w andy i will not use this as an excuse to try to sleep w andy i will not use th') these are the only two audios i've heard with this duo, i'm sure there's more examples in the other two. i know gooseberry literally has owen sabotaging andy's relationship with his gf and that is... woohoohoo.... i'll update this once i get through those.

➤➤ …. this is my personal opinion but i lowkey think he kinda wants john hart a bit when they all first meet him in kkbb hdskjfds. gwen & tosh both seem very charmed by him and they're meant to, it's supposed to be like 'oh, look at jack's ex waltzing in and charming the pants off everyone (ha), and only ianto and jack see through him' - owen isn't given a flirty line of dialogue or even a close-up shot of him eyeing john like the girls get, but if you watch him closely he certainly looks… intrigued by him. i think owen's more of a bi disaster than he lets on.

➤➤ in episode 10, diane notes that owen has "beauty products" in his bathroom. obviously this shouldn't be indicative of sexuality, but how many Straight Men in 2006 were moisturizing lmao. hell, how many do nowadays 😭

➤➤ gwen & owen's dynamic settles into a lovely little friendship in s2 and owen lowkey gives gbf vibes <3 them making fun of the movie in s2e10 together + the cheek-kissing at the end of s2e9… bi besties!!

➤➤ the peace sign he throws up in meat when he meets rhys fdsjk i don't even believe in some of the silly internet jokes abt bi culture but c'mon

➤➤ have you seen his taste in women. diane is soo butch and gwen's a total tomboy in s1. that's bi culture babey!!!! i too like girls when they're boys

➤➤ i already talked about it but the aforementioned scene where he asks tosh and ianto for a threesome... he asks them, like, immediately after they team up and bully him for not comprehending that there's "no phones. phones all broken. anyone there? no, 'cause the phones aren't working." that was suuuch a disaster bi owen moment for me. i too would get a little revved up if tosh and ianto both bullied me at once <3

aaand finally... the biggest Evidence of all....

➤➤ he's a leather jacket bisexual. need i say more

and that's all! thanks for reading!

[credit for the dividers used in this. didn't tumblr used to have built-in dividers? i miss that.]

[greater-than-the-sword]

hi! I always find your takes on things really interesting and mentally stimulating, so I'd love to know your opinion on this one: recently I came across the take (from some generally very conservative and reliable Christian theologians/bible teachers, not reddit crackpots or anything like that) that the concept of "friendship" is not biblical, but that the only really biblical structures for human relationships are within a family context, specifically marriage and siblinghood. (now, a caveat: the people discussing this were doing so within the context of a greater conversation about some odd things that have happened within the side-b movement, but I still think that's a pretty extreme claim to make at any rate?) would you have an opinion that you'd like to share about this? personally I think it's a little weird and extreme to denounce friendship as a whole amongst Christians.

Sorry I got caught up in watching this video. I consider the 3 people in it to be very decent sources, indeed, though I'm much less familiar with Christopher Yuan. I had planned to read his book but haven't read it yet.

Mrs. Butterfield has a very interesting perspective on SSA issues given her background. I don't necessarily agree with her on everything, she has a few strange takes, for example she also espouses a view on "exclusive psalmnody", that is, claiming that Christians shouldn't sing hymns or other christian music, but ONLY the psalms because they are in the Bible.

Ironically, she HAS written a lot of stuff on the need for closer Christian community and relationships, so it may be that she is here attempting to "balance" this stuff or something.

So... looking at this video they start off addressing not "friendship" as such but a very specific concept called "spiritual friendship", which is a terminology used by specific groups. Now, I hope these guys are misunderstanding what's going on here because I would love to believe the best of the folks who are a part of this movement. But what they're attacking is actually this idea promoted by an organization called ReVoice that it's a good idea for SSA people to form these "covenental" relationships with a person they're already same-sex attracted to. He also mentions that the book says some people in these relationships "embrace non-sexual romance". It's also been described by some as a "sexless marriage".

Before I get into it one other thing I like about the video is that Rosaria makes a really great point about Gnosticism and "secret knowledge". The idea that there need be this new terminology or "neologisms" and concepts whose spiritual meanings are known only to the initiated and that they can only be understood because by those who have unique personal experience is a very gnostic idea.

And one thing Christopher Yuan is very correct about is that from this (Side B) movement there is a great deal of messaging ambiguity, which is a major complaint of mine as well about that movement.

Then they get on to this part of the video where it's discussed how some people think intersex conditions existed prior to the fall, which is a bizarre claim on its surface since these people are frequently very sick from their condition, as well as obviously the "He created them male and female" line. But that's not as relevant to your concerns.

But I understand why you feel concerned about aspects of the video & the messaging.

That's because isolated from the context of SSA, none of the things mentioned are actually bad things to do with your friends. Cuddling. Celebrating important dates. Even living together, or in communal settings (as much as they dunk on it because it's inspired by the monasteries) or moving from place to place together. So when does this become unhealthy? I don't wanna give an "I know it when I see it" answer but. I think it's when a person has a temptation and they're not fleeing that temptation, instead they're trying to see how close they can get without going over.

So like yes. Individuals called to celibacy can struggle with community and need to form strong communities, and I feel like it's adding to the Bible to arbitrarily condemn the forms this takes. (That is, to condemn communal living would be adding to the Bible.) Again I feel like also this conversation is missing an honest look at pre-20th century norms which might include unrelated adults called "Uncles" or "Aunts" living with a family (surprising number of cases of unrelated household members getting, "adopted" as it were or at least that's my impression). None of this stuff should be considered intrinsically related to sexuality in my opinion. By contrast, the concept of "romance" is intrinsically related to sexuality.

(As an aside, Yuan totally butchered the term "bromance" - this is an older term that actually has nothing to do with homosexuality, it's an ironic/humorous term for an emotional or close friendship. It's fallen out of general use now because people take the idea of friendships becoming gay too seriously and therefore the ironic intent is lost.)

Then later Rosaria Butterfield gets to the part about excessive androgen production in people with XX chromosomes, and her response to this is, "Or maybe the fall just caused us to desire things that God hates". My response to this is really, "does she even know what the word intersex means"?

To me those last two points contribute to my general sense that the commentators are willing to speak without fully knowing what they're talking about.

Back on the topic of "friendship", you have to realize that even if all Christian relationships ARE to be defined in a family context, we ARE family. All Christians are brothers and sisters. So I don't see that as limiting. [maybe this is the closest thing to an answer to your original question]

Personally my views are marked by the fact that I do NOT see a smooth continuum between "friendship" and "romance", as it is not a matter of degree but of nature. That's why I say "I know it when I see it." SSA creeping into a friendship will corrupt its nature in a way that any degree of closeness will not. I don't see any way of policing this by policing people's actions. It is not an external sin, it is a sin of the heart.

However, you can often realize people's intentions based on the words that they speak. I would urge people to distinguish their conception of close friendships from this terminology related to sexuality, marriage, or romance.

[writing-for-life]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗 (i don't know if you do these sorts of chain-letter things, or if you'd prefer not to, but for my part i do like to know which of their works a given author is especially hype on, so consider this an opportunity to gush!)

I was sweating for a moment there because I thought, “I’ve written all my life and even published, but I don’t have 5 fanfics, shit!”

And then I noticed… well, with a little bit of goodwill, I do. So thanks so much for asking, @stellerssong , and here comes the gushing:

The no. 1 has to be “The Light of Stars”.

I completed most of it during NaNoWriMo 2022 for a bit of fun and respite from other projects—and then did nothing with it. Until I thought, “Fuck it,” and started publishing it chapter by chapter, editing and tidying it up along the way.

It is a long fic, and I know that’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but I’m honestly proud of it. I put a lot of thought into characterisation and plot, keeping everyone in character (as much as aimed-for character development allowed, so certain OOC moments had to happen) and crafting an OC that works for what I was setting out to do. So much so that many people asked for a sequel, which I’m still in the process of writing (I completed the concept again last NaNoWriMo and wrote over 40,000 words back then, but progress has been slow since because… life).

I don’t want to give too much away here, but while it’s romance and there *is* more than enough sex (I write steamy romance professionally, albeit in my other language), this is really not what this one is mainly about. So it’s not one for people who look for thinly-disguised chapter-porn and super-explicit descriptions. It’s a novel with a fully developed arc, and it deals with topics like friendship, loss and grief. Someone told me though that it felt hopeful and they didn’t struggle with the broaching of those topics like in some other works, and that was probably the most wonderful thing anyone could ever have said to me.

I’ll choose “Snow Globes and Whisky” as my second, but only because it is a Christmas gift-type one-shot with the same characters.

You can, in theory, read it without knowing TLoS, but it just wouldn’t make sense. It’s just Christmas fluff, not incredibly deep (despite picking up on the friendship and loss-theme again), it was fun to write and to get Dream a little bit drunk (just because he was intrigued and allowed it of course 🤣).

Then there are Rachel and Johanna.

They have such a special place in my heart. I always wanted to tell their story because we never got it in the show—so I did. And as a bisexual woman, I am also Jo’s biggest stan. I desperately want her to be the Sandman-character who does away with bi-erasure once and for all (because if the onscreen love interest is female, everyone cheers, but bi m/f relationships never count in fandom because they’re “heteronormative”. Newsflash: We’re not “50% straight, 50% gay”. We have nuance and deep inner lives and different preferences that make up very personal identities, and we’re not some token queer representation that stops to exist once we’re in straight-passing relationships). We’ve seen her date a woman and she has tons of chemistry with Dream too—I want them to have the messiest affair ever and somehow have her take Thessaly’s place. But better. Because she’d protect Lyta for all the RIGHT reasons. There, I said it, and I’m not sorry. Anyway, that’s not what “As it Was Before the Otherness Came” is about. It’s sad and heartbreaking and canon-compliant. It just fills in the gaps. And again, I’m super-proud that someone in the comments said to tell Gaiman about it (we all know that’s not a thing for fanfic) because they thought it was so in character and well-written. Yes, I’m shamelessly blowing my own trumpet because you asked me to 🤣

Then there are my Inktober Haikus.

I still intend to turn them into a bound book with accompanying art one day (the latter is where it all falls down really because although I could, it would take me 1,000 years to create all the art myself). 31 poems, some more inspired than others, but they were a great creativity exercise, and I honestly love them for what they are.

And last but not least, from the serious to the totally unhinged: Muhulhu. Murphy and his Cool Hat. The crack ship of all crack ships, aka:

I set out to write a trilogy, the first part “By The Sea, I Mean In The Dreaming: A Comedy Prelude” is published, the second and third are currently in a vegetative state because I just can’t find the time to write and/or edit. And if I do, I prefer writing the TLoS sequel. Or metas. Or running silly fandom events 🤣 I’d love to write more fanfic, but between a full time job (or rather: three jobs that make up one) and a family, I just stare in awe at the people on here who produce constant output, because I honestly can’t. But I will get back to it eventually because that one is just sheer unhinged fun.

Thank you again for giving me the opportunity to flog my goods!

@stellerssong ask answered

[endsupes]

Signs of affection

Physical: William is never far away in proximity and touch mostly comprises of either gentle leading with a hand guiding lightly/supportive or even aggressively gripping. He may also shield by blocking the view with his body. Mostly just any point of connection that's not exceedingly violent.

Words: rare, but he has the capacity to give compliments and speak about things that bother him or aspects of his life that haunt him.

Silent respect: this typically entails allowing handing leadership to someone whether its a small aspect ( his aunt taking care of terror) or something with great meaning ( asking hughie to say sorry to the boys )

Sexuality

over the years, Williams’ romantic and sexual life has been almost non-existent. this is the product of several things - the fact he is constantly working, that he’s often out on the field fighting for his life and the lives of others and too busy trying not to die as well a lack of confidence when it comes to romance, a growing disinterest in anything sexual, and the inability to understand or read flirtation and attraction from potential lovers without taking it unseriously ( obliviousness and an effect of his mental health issues both ).  often, any interest shown in him regarding sexuality and romance will not be picked up on and dismissed as casual conversation ( I.e he may flirt back but its hollow, empty words ) - it requires bluntness to get the point across to him - and usually it will be rejected because he has ‘better’ things to do which is usually work. it has been a long, long time since he’s been on a date and whilst everything William does tends to stem from love in a manner of speaking, he rarely sets time aside for romance. 

William is a very, very closeted bisexual and carries a lot of internalized homophobia - not regarding anyone but himself, he could care less about the sexualities of others, but is uncomfortable in admitting he is anything but the white macho man people assume him to be. he has always been uncomfortable regarding his own sexuality, but over the years it has grown worse. this is from the lack of physical intimacy ( despite not having it, he does miss it - William is a sexual person, enjoys sex, but has gone without for so long he now has several self-confidence issues regarding it ) and the fact that for him, it has always been a subject meant to be kept private - between himself and his partner ( he doesn’t really want to hear about what his friends/soldiers/team have been up to in bed, and doesn’t want to talk about his experiences or lack of either ). combined with his physical and health issues, it’s something he tends to avoid.

in his youth, he had a string of girlfriends - all of them were brief flings, no emotional attachment on either end, but not as many as he’d boast about ( the ego of a hormonal twenty-something boy in the prime of his life, with a gun and a military record doesn’t want to be seen as someone who gets rejected by pretty girls ). experimentation sexually was brief and short, uncomfortable with the idea - he’d been touchy-feely with men before, but eventually backed out, nervous and drunk, doing it for attention rather than anything else. he was never the best lover, but what he lacked in talent he made up for in enthusiasm.

Rebecca had only really been the most consistent sexual relationship he had for the obvious fact that they were married and really the only person he had ever felt particularly close to. Since her disappearance, he had spiraled mentally, only really seeing sex acts as a way to manipulate or extort information. But even then it was never something he relied on, more so, dangling a carrot on a string in order to get what he wants.

getting him to talk about it is an unlikely event, too. the only time you’ll hear of Williams’ romantic and sexual activities is if you’re the one he’s doing it with - he’s a private person in many aspects, despite the big heart, and likes to keep things to himself ( too stubborn to realise maybe talking about his issues could help get rid of them ). if you manage to break through to that though, he’s extremely appreciative in the moment, touches like he’s worshipping a marble statue with adoration. Gropping whatever, wherever, he's willing. however, it’s all emotional for him nowadays, and the idea of no-strings-attached sex is something he can’t get into - it has to mean something to him, and it always does, whether he admits it or not.

[holly-natnicole]

Here's (a part of) the canon info on the Hunters of Artemis:

Artemis said: "My Hunters follow me on my adventures. They are my maidservants, my companions, my sisters-in-arms. Once they swear loyalty to me, they are indeed immortal… unless they fall in battle, which is unlikely. Or break their oath."

"What oath?" I said.

"To forswear romantic love forever," Artemis said.

"So you just go around the country recruiting half-bloods–"

"Not just half-bloods," Zoe interrupted. "Lady Artemis does not discriminate by birth. All who honour the Goddess may join. Half-bloods, nymphs, mortals–"

"Bianca, this is crazy," I said. "What about your brother? Nico can't be a Hunter."

"Certainly not," Artemis agreed. "He will go to camp. Unfortunately, that's the best boys can do."

"Hey!" I protested.

"You can see him from time to time," Artemis assured Bianca. "But you will be free of responsibility. He will have the camp counsellors to take care of him. And you will have a new family. Us."

"I pledge myself to the Goddess Artemis. I turn my back on the company of men, accept eternal maidenhood, and join the Hunt."

For the Hunters, all romance is a nope coz of their oath (dating a fellow Hunter is confirmed in T.o.A. to not be allowed). However, the way that the oath is worded in canon is foolishly heteronormative. I think it should be:

"I pledge myself to the God of Chastity, Ártemis. I turn my back on romantic and sexual companions, accept eternal celibacy, and join the hunt."

That way, there'd be no ambiguity over whether the Hunters of Artemis can date and/or have sex with people who are female or in some way gender nonbinary.

Additionally, Hippolytus existed; the Hunt should allow people of any gender & sex and age instead of being limited to perisex cisgender girls (although, most members would probably still be dyadic cis girls coz that's the democratic that has the most motivation to be celibate with a dyadic cis female God as their teacher, leader, & protector). Hence me replacing the word maidenhood with the word celibacy.

In my Alternate Multiverse rewrite of the 'Percy Jackson' (2005) franchise, Nico would get the chance to join same as Bianca instead of being dismissed solely coz he's a perisex cis boy (actually, my version of Ártemis doesn't assume anyone's gender based on appearance coz She has for centuries corrected people who assume Her to be dyadic cis male solely coz of Her masculinity & Apollo to be perisex cis fem coz of His femininity and has met plenty of Gods, demigods, mortal humans, nymphs, etc. who are agender or genderfluid or in some other way transgender).

In my version of P.J. 'verse, it's the (okay with romance and sex) Amazons who are the ones who have a "gals only" policy whilst the Hunters of Ártemis have a "stay celibate" policy.

(Obviously, not every cis girl, trans girl, trans lady, and cis lady joins the Amazons plus not every celibate person joins the Hunters of Ártemis. People can be fem without being an Amazon and choose celibacy without being a Hunter of Ártemis.)

Plus Ártemis Herself is a perisex cis aro ace masculine fem Greek God who enjoys archery, hunting, dancing, seeing vegetation, running around in the wilderness, and seeing wild animals (especially bears a.k.a. Ursidae and hinds a.k.a. does a.k.a. cis female deer which is a broad term for red deer a.k.a. Cervus elaphus, fallow deer a.k.a. Dama of Cervinae, roe deer a.k.a. Capreolus capreolus,white-tailed deer a.k.a. Odocoileus virginianus , & reindeer a.k.a. caribou a.k.a. Rangifer tarandus). Besides the Hunt, Vegetation, the Wilderness, and Wild Animals (especially bears and does) being Her domains, Ártemis' domains also include the moon, chastity, childbirth, and care for children.

[all-pacas]

I should clarify my previous ask, a world in which only cameron works for house but chase doesn't, would they date? Because we both know if they start dating AND are the only members of houses team, he'd fire them both.

a) I'm not actually sure House would fire them. He makes a big deal about Foreman and 13, and Foreman himself brings up this point:

FOREMAN: You were fine with Chase and Cameron dating. You obviously don't actually have an issue — HOUSE: You're fired. FOREMAN: How long are you gonna keep this up? We know you're not — HOUSE: Wrong. Again. In fact, in the last few weeks, it's hard to remember a correct call you made. If Chase had compromised his professional judgment to help Cameron, I’d have fired his ass, too.

Now, Cameron and Chase did have unprofessional sex all over the hospital while not-dating, but it's also the middle of Chase's S3 hot streak and he manages to solve a case by himself during this period, so by House's standards, no problem. He had more of an issue with them when they were bickering after 'breaking up' in Act Your Age, but actually Cameron and Chase got it together pretty quickly, so again, didn't approach the firing threshold. Hell, even in S6, House says (or at least pretends) he wants to hire them both after Dibala. Maybe he's a shipper!

But I do think it means that House is being sincere with Foreman here. He does not give a shit who is sleeping with who if it doesn't interfere with work or standards. So Chase and Cameron could date in an AU where it was just them on the team. I don't think they would, because Cameron would lose her impetus to act on her feelings. But they could!

b) They might date in a world where Cameron stays and Chase is fired, though. It was Chase leaving that triggered Cameron to pursue him, after all — they have their kiss before she resigns, I think it was the idea that she genuinely might not see him again that pushed her to act. And especially once Chase moves to the OR, there's absolutely no reason Cameron should have to make a choice between Diagnostics and Chase; Chase himself isn't actually bitter or angry over his firing, even if he uses his summer vacation to grow House Boundaries, and in S6 he mentions (without bitterness) that Cameron always liked diagnostics more than he did.

Whether the relationship would last, though… Chase has always felt pretty insecure about House in terms of their relationship. Part of it is his own issues, but Cameron really doesn't help at times. I mean, it's basically confirmed a big part of their FWB relationship was an attempt to provoke House into jealousy. While I don't think it's as simple as "Cameron was just using Chase to make House jealous," wanting House to care was a factor, House's opinion has always really mattered to Cameron. She might not be 'in love' with him, but he's someone she sees through the lens of romance if that makes sense: he's a potential romance, not just boss or colleague, and she kind of acts like the possibility always exists, even if it's unlikely. So she gets way too flustered when accidentally saying she loves him, because she's thinking it could be misconstrued (where if someone like 13 said the same thing, it wouldn't feel ambiguous to her). As late as the episode where Chase and Cameron get engaged, Chase has "is she dumping me for House" in the back of his mind — he doesn't seem to take the possibility that seriously (he's more upset about the ghosting), but it still exists. So in a world where Cameron is spending every day working with House, gushing on her lunch breaks to Chase about their current cases, I think the insecurity would get way stronger, and probably lead to the relationship falling apart pretty abruptly, even if/though nothing is actually happening with House.

[enbyman]

i do absolutely think "love negativity" does exist, especially for queer people. being yelled at for holding my boyfriend's hand in public isnt love positivity, thats for sure. even the influx of aros and aces saying they dont want to see people kissing at pride isnt love positivity. i know people like to deny that happens, but as an aromantic who's been openly aromantic for over a decade and in many aromantic spaces, i have followed several aro people who've said they dont want to see people kissing in public, even at pride. which, again, sounds like love negativity to me. specifically directed at other queer people, which also leads into homophobia and biphobia.

i completely understand being loveless and all, but gay people have and do experience oppression for the love that they have. "love wins" is played out, but was vitally important. saying "comraderie wins" doesnt have the same ring to it when im not being comrades with someone im getting married to, im in love with them.

the concept of being loveless, subverting the expectations society has for what being a good person is, and enjoying life without love arent mutually exclusive to people experiencing oppression for their love. aro/ace people arent immune to being homophobic the same way gay people arent immune to being aphobic and the people i have encountered in the aro/ace community have just about the same proclivity to call gay people gross for having sex as gay people have the proclivity to make fun of asexuals for not having sex. ive been shamed for having sex, enjoying romance, and having a long term relationship as an aromantic more than ive had people shame me for being aromantic.

essentially, there's nuance to everything and saying broad sweeping statements like "X doesnt exist" about anything having to do with the queer experience is a massive pitfall in every discourse space. i wouldnt say aphobia doesnt exist just because ive experienced it less, or lesbophobia doesnt exist because a lot of governments didnt know they were real so they couldnt illegalize them, because it negates all the breadth of nuance that the world provides for us. in the good and in the bad.

"No more asks about this" ignored again. Okay okay

And it's funny that if, you read my post again, I was talking about a very broad concept of love, not just romantic. I in no way denied the oppression what people who date the same gender go through! Which would be a funny thing to do! Because I'm a same-gender attracted person and I identify as lesbian in the past! You'd be surprised how much I know about these issues, so you don't need to explain it to me at all! Funny thing, isn't?

I was referring to the fact that, even though certain forms of love are demonized, people still expect us to love. People still expect us to experience family love. Friendship love. Love in general. And we have to love in the right way, in the neurotypical, white way, built according to western standards. And if we don't live up to these expectations, we are ostracized and dehumanized. Love is a requirement for humanity. This is not a problem specific to just one context.

And about the "camaraderie" thing, I was just responding to the argument that "love wins" is an anti-war slogan, which honestly, seems very reductive. Love is not something inherently revolutionary. And it's not the only positive emotion there is. Also, love, in technical terms, says nothing about what someone thinks of another person. In a christian context, people often say that God "loves the sinner, but does not love the sin". My shitty father also says he loves me, like many shitty fathers. Okay, you love me. But do you respect me? Do you understand me? Do you perceive me? There must be more than just love to change the world. But anyway, this is just me commenting on my personal view on love.

I think I derail a little, but whatever. I'm not in a good mindset to provide an answer. I just want to say that I think you didn't understand me at all and at this point I'm too tired to explain myself.

[triviareads]

ARC Review of The Worst Duke In London by Amalie Howard

Rating: 4.5/5 Heat Level: 3.75/5 Publication Date: September 24th

Premise:

A historical romcom based on 10 Things I Hate About You; Scottish duke Gage agrees to court socially awkward Effie in exchange for erasing his debts. To his surprise, Effie asks if Gage would like to be her lover.

My review:

This was a delightfully lusty, hilarious take on the 10 Things I Hate About You, and Amalie Howard made it BETTER by adding in a no-strings affair that our heroine instigates.

Y'all know the premise of 10 Things; Here, younger sister Viola isn't allowed to have a suitor until her socially outcast older sister and heroine Effie lands one, so Viola's douchey beau offers to forgive the hero Gage's debt if he pretends to be Effie's suitor for six weeks. Except a few things become apparent right off the bat: Effie is a tall, wacky animal lover and suffragette who has no filter and makes jokes about cats being dickmatized (sorry, "prick-merized")... and Gage is SUPER into all of that. And the feeling is mutual, leading to a deviation from the original plot: Effie asks Gage to be her lover so she can explore her sexuality because she has no plans to marry (I do think her rationale for this became flimsier as time went on and Gage proved himself to be a good person, despite his initial motives).

I LOVE a romance where both the hero and heroine are unabashed about their desire for one another, especially when the heroine is just as vocal as the hero, and this book does not disappoint. Gage is BIIIIIG and SCOTTISH and a BOXER— and a genuinely nice guy without being a Nice Guy— and Effie isn't shy about letting him know she wants to climb him like a tree (or alternatively, like her cat who does so within seconds of meeting the man). We also get classic romcom girl-gang shenanigans with Effie's friends, the Hellfire Kitties, who aren't shy about egging Effie and Gage on either.

The sex:

This book genuinely has the most well-done mutual virginity-loss scene I've ever read. Effie and Gage are perfect combination of naturally carnal and a little insecure as they sort of roll with the punches (and by punches I mean That Thing a virgin hero is perhaps more liable to do than an experienced one.....). Also, I really appreciate the inclusion of condoms and lube— The latter especially is something we don't see enough in romances, in my opinion, and based on Effie limping around TWO DAYS after being devirginized, the lube feels quite necessary here lol.

And not only are sex toys involved (something else I rarely see in historicals even they absolutely existed then) in a very hot mutual masturbation moment, but there's also a carriage scene!

Overall:

Amalie Howard once again knocked it out of the park with this book: not only does it have that classic romcom feel that had me giggling and kicking my feet, it also brings the heat in a way that's humorous and sex-positive. I'd recommend this to anyone looking for a light-hearted historical romp, and I'm looking forward to the inevitable enemies-to-lovers excellence that will be Briar and Lushing's book.

Thank you to Forever and NetGalley for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

[yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt]

My existence is weird because like

I am not aro/ace. I don't think, anyways. I'm bisexual and biromantic. I look at hot people and go "AWOOGA." While it's rare and extremely difficult, I do form romantic attractions and attachments (it's weird, it almost never happens and when it does it's so extreme and sudden it's like getting hit upside the head with a sack of hammers)

But I also don't have any plans to be in an enduring sexual/romantic relationship for the rest of my life. If it happens it happens but I wasted so much mental health agonizing because I thought that the meaning of life was to have a romantic life partner, and that happiness was impossible without it, and I struggled so much to develop romantic feelings and on the few occasions I did, they weren't requited. I thought my life was worthless and that I'd never be happy and it brought me to the darkest place I've ever been.

Then I figured out that being in a romantic relationship wasn't mandatory and I could be happy without it. And I relate so heavily to how isolating it is when the culture around you enforces this idea that romance and sex are mandatory to live a happy life and without them you'll be miserable and alone.

Anyway, something something queerphobia affects more than just queer people something something

So I'd like to let all my aces AND allos know: Your relationship status does not define you. Your friendships are just as if not more important than a romantic relationship. My best friend means more to me than any romantic partner I have ever had and probably ever will have. Even if I fall in love and get married my best friend will ALWAYS be the most important person in the world to me.

Please, don't get into a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship or because you feel like you'll be worthless if you don't. If you are interested in having a relationship, you deserve to have one with someone who you love, who excites you and treats you well. Because BEING SINGLE IS NOT A BAD THING

Anyways just. Allosexuals/Alloromantics can be happy without sex or romance and Aro/Ace people are valid and all of your relationships are important whether or not you doink or date each other.

[dameronswife-2]

9, 11 and 15 for the General Selfship ask game :)

hey thanks for the question!!! <33 I like your url!

9. How long have you been part of the selfshipping community? How long before have you selfshipped without being aware of the community or publicly partaking in it?

That is an excellent question with a very complicated answer! So, I've been self-shipping probably my whole life, in terms of "imaginary friends" and such (when I was little, like prior to ten, I had a big huge crush on a.nakin and kind of imaginary friend'd that, and then did so even more with the eleventh doctor when I was 13/14, even read some x reader, BUT I wouldn't classify that as "romantically" self shipping bc I was very irritated with all the romance and was like. ugh. fine if i love him and think he's cute I gUESS I'll kiss him if i have to it's basically a job requirement for companions anyway).

But actually shipping an oc with a character? I've been doing that since 2017, and if you guessed that it was for Poe, you'd be right. I stopped reading x reader for a long time, but abruptly remembered they existed and started reading them again and made up an oc that had a history with Poe for a sequel trilogy au I was writing at the time; she kind of ended up being a lot like Z.orii, a bounty hunter character who had a backstory with Poe (they met in the navy though). They didn't wind up together, because at the time I guess the possibility didn't occur to me, but they did kiss (and I described Poe as looking like an angel, lmao).

Flashforward to 2021, and a late night (for me) conversation with my partner @hermitmoss resulted in us tossing around what would happen if their s/i met the resistance crew, and that snowballed into fae mentioning that my already existing Star Wars s/i Volya, would immediately crush on Poe...and with a lot of enablement on faer's part, I wound up....shipping Volya entirely with Poe. They describe it as "how I started openly dating Poe around [my partners]" and they're not incorrect in the slightest!

Then in 2022, I followed someone who self-ships and asked them about it and they explained to me what the community was, and what it entailed, and I realized I'd been doing it my whole life. Shortly after, I made a blog for it specifically!

11. Do you incorporate kink into your selfships? If yes, any kinks you prefer?

[nervous laughter] would you look at the time. no, I kid, I kid. I've been wondering about Volya's kinks for a long time, in all honesty - there's a lot I like to play around with, for her and Poe. Title kink definitely comes up for them, but I think a big one is soft d/s vibes. Also there's the tiny fact that I kind of COMPLETELY unintentionally wrote Volya perfectly into the role of an omega, if I ever did an omegaverse au. Seriously, when I finally asked one of my partners about it and they gave me a rundown and I was like holy shit. It's kind of impressive lmao.

But yeah, I think a lot of soft d/s, maybe some bondage - I think that would be an interesting thing to explore with Poe and Volya's respective traumas. I think they'd definitely think roleplay would be fun they'd get a crack out of it, I bet.

As for Emilia and Marc, I haven't decided what kinks they're into, but I definitely think they're freaky. she's a spider person, and every spider hero seems really into kinky sex, and I don't think she's an exclusion to the rule. But I haven't thought enough on their sex life yet to get totally into what they'd both be into. I definitely think their respective superhero staminas get a lot of use though

15. If you're fictionfolk, how does that affect your selfships?

One quick google search later...I do think I am probably a little bit fictionfolk, I certainly can relate anyway, especially being a system host when majority if not all of my headmates are fictives. Uhm, I mean I don't know - I feel like it definitely adds a component to the sense of yearning I have. I'm not just yearning for Poe, you know, the Resistance, D'Qar - that genuinely feels like home for me. I feel, genuinely, like I was born in the wrong world, and that's why this one is so hard for me and why I can't find my footing in it. Like...I am yearning for the place that I feel like I do genuinely belong; I poured...so much of myself into Volya. She is me, and I am her. It is a moebius strip, she is the deepest, innermost parts of myself made ink; she is everything I love about myself, everything I loathe about myself, every piece of me I've fought to hide because it felt too vulnerable to show anyone. She holds all my desires, she has the family I crave and long for, she gets to touch and hold and kiss and make love to Poe, she gets to stand up for herself and what she believes in, she gets to call Leia mother...

It's a good kind of hurt, but it's still a hurt. And I think it definitely impacts how I self-ship at least with Poe; I don't have that same sense of yearning for the universe that Marc is in, because that's basically my reality, so I haven't quite been able to pour myself so directly into Emilia yet. Emilia is a part of myself, she has a lot of backstory similiarities to me, but she's a lot cooler than me. A lot more self-reliant. But I know where I end, and she begins. I don't with Volya.

Well...apart from the fact that she's blue and I'm not, anyway.

general self ship asks!

[hellhousellc]

gonna try to explain all my feelings after watching ep 5 of the second season of tsitp stay w me...

so okay first of all i am a jeremiah girlie from day one but i have to say that man can NOT narrate in a compelling way to save his life... and all the close ups of him staring at people silently with the voice over in the background... giving demonic miley

but ANYWAYS onto the actual like... drama?

FIRST OF ALL am i the only one who remembers conrad telling belly that jeremiah seemed to "be okay" and that he "moved on" and "was dating people" ???????????? WHERE LMAO he clearly was pissed off and if you maybe would have cared enough to visit more than once and actually have a conversation with him instead of just asking if it was okay to date the girl he loved and then fleeing out of there you would have noticed?

like actually that's the part i hate the most about the show. these two teenagers were in the process of losing their mom and decided that it would be a good idea to just fuck it all up between each other and with their closest friends for shits and giggles?? and no adult had anything to say about it? they even supported it? and everyone around them was silently letting them ruin their relationship for a teenage romance??? kay????? jeremiah literally threw a fucking firework like super close to conrad and belly's heads PLEASE IS THERE ANY ADULT IN THE ROOM RN????

because like, i get crushing on the same girl. i get it you're teenagers hormones or whatever. but what person would actually like care so little about their siblings to SEE how heartbroken they are and still persue a relationship with their love interest? and not only that but also lie about how said sibling feels so the relationship can happen (since the love interest didn't want to hurt them so they were keeping their distance) and then be all lovey with said love interest in front of their sibling and act all shocked when the sibling tries and set boundaries???? you're in college bitch time to grow up!!!! you're dating a 16 yo that your brother is in love with you weirdogo listen to olivia rodrigo she says it all

but anyways that being said let me tell you that i was trying to actually like remember how much screentime conrad and belly had as an actual like pairing. not belly pining after him and him acting all moody and disgusting (= the entire first season) but actual content about the two of them forming a bond and strenghtening it. there's none of that. first few episodes we see belly with cam cameron and jeremiah and like maybe 2 minutes of interactions with conrad, and the last few ones he finally decides that she actually exists but still fucks up every single time.

and then in the second season we get their whole like weird romance during the year where he (18 yo college man) goes to her (16 yo) house and takes her away (without her mother's permission) to the beach where they proceed to have sex :) so fun! (at this point i'm BEGGING for some adult supervision) and he treats her like shit the rest of the time and acts like being with her is a burden and i KNOW his mom was dying but then just break up??? she's not your punching bag??? and then she acts SO OUT OF PLACE at the funeral they are so toxic it's infuriating!!!!!!!!!

meanwhile we see jeremiah being there for her again and again and giving her the teenage romance she (16 yo!!!!!!!!!!!) deserves and being happy and making her happy and all she does is hurt him like did you REALLY need to break up with him the same night he FOUND OUT HIS MOM HAD CANCER AND WAS DYING? and not only that but tell him you CHEATED ON HIM WITH HIS BROTHER????? (who was also unaware of their relationship)

but then after all of this jeremiah still tries to move on and steps up for his family because his older brother was too busy stuck in his own head and fucking a minor to actually care about his dying mother and his teenage brother and would only appear when he wanted to i guess hurt his brother even more by shoving his relationship with belly on his face????

and jeremiah still goes and looks for him when he decides that the best thing he can do after showing clear signs of depression is disappearing months after their mom died without giving his brother a clue or at least letting him know he's safe

so now jeremiah has to face not only his shitty brother but also the girl who broke his heart and she has the neeeeeeeeeeerve to try and start things with him ONCE AGAIN????? AND ACT SHOCKED WHEN HE TURNS HER DOWN?????????????????????

i'm having such a hard time y'all!!!!!!!!!!!!!

don't even get me started on steven "i'm in love with my girlfriend and treat the girl who likes me like shit but wait my girfriend broke up with me :( and the girl who likes me moved on and has a new boyfriend now :( i need to get her back on track IMMEDIATELY and make her obsess over me AGAIN or my dick will fall off :(" whatever his last name is

ALSO and last one stop hating the boys' cousin just because of their gender you WEIRDOS and their mom is actually right??? she has no need for the house it's only a waste of her money and if conrad and jeremiah's father is a shitty man who cheats on his dying wife and won't give them the only thing that would make them happy (and it's their money so fuck you they can do whatever with it) (and i'm sorry but am i the only one who's catching on the fact that she's clearly communicating with their dad and is not making any choices alone?? like she obviously tried and failed to sell the house to him because he's an ASSHOLE and made it abundantly clear meanwhile she's doing what she can with what she has) then maybe take it out on him and not on a woman who is doing nothing but what's best for her and her family by selling a house that holds a lot of trauma for her okay??? okay