#and also knows ppl hesitate a lot
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[shakes myself by the shoulders] YOU'D HAVE TO STOP THE WORLD JUST TO STOP THE FEELING!!!!!!!!
#wails. i want hrt without the mortifying ordeal of outing myself to everyone#i cant have that of course but i wish#imagine if i could just disappear for a year or two to get into therapy and start het#hrt. that would be great#im dreading the waitlist time i'll get to hear from the other therapist i havent yet recontacted#ive also not replied to the one therapist that got back to me. oops#i mean tbf thats a therapist he probably gets mails like that that dont go anywhere all the time lol#and also knows ppl hesitate a lot#cas.txt#the guy with scared of everything disorder: goddd i wish i could just send this email why am i afraid#cw caps#im just wasting time by not contacting a therapist. i wont stop wanting hrt. be for real man#like i sit around and i go “hm but am i rly trans? do i rly want hrt?” and then im like yeah.#i look in the mirror and go. yeah.#jfc just START THE FUCKING PROCESS OF GETTING THERE ALREADY!!!! YOU HAVE TO WAIT AT LEAST 1.5 YEARS TO EVEN GET INTO THERAPY#JUST START THE FUCKING THINGGG
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learning abt friendship decay and "not reaching out to your friends for months at a time unprompted is not neurotypical behaviour" has me feeling a certain way
#experiencing some BIG FEELINGS OVER THIS REVELATION#listen i have never ever been bothered abt not seeing someone in a while or making time to talk to them bc in my mind its like not thst muc#time has passed. i mean it with every fibre of my being that when im like 'oh its ok even though we havent talked in a while and have our#own things going on it doesnt mean we're not friends anymore since we left things on a good note 8 months ago' i sincerely believe that#and for the longest time i just thought everybody makes peace with it at some point and not automatically assuming the other person doesnt#wanna talk to me anymore or smth. my longest lasting friendships are with ppl who work the same way i just thouhght that was normal#whatever organ everybody has that makes them reach out to their friends and plan hang outs i probably dont have it#i was already hesitant to ask out Alex bc i spend almost every waking hour doing smth that isnt talking to ppl unless they happen to be in#the vicinity. and at first it was bc i planned on making sure i had everything set up so i dont get stressed out and do it one at a time#but then i find out theres a friendship decay mechanic? and after dating and marrying someone you lose -10 friendship points for every#day u dont talk to them?? actually ive probably been losing friendship points this whole time without knowing bc of this?????#and i notice a lot of my own habits are also reflected in how i play bc ive been avoiding getting close to pierre and marnie since its more#of a professional relationship. like i know theyre npcs but im approaching it the way i would in real life its fucking nuts#i think its a little relieving im playing /as/ a character than myself bc as im playing im just making up little interactions in my head#than approaching things the way i would myself so it takes a bit of the stress off trying to put myself in there as a spectator. but well#being in a relationship demands a certain amount of energy even more so when theyre things that already take up energy on its own#like making time to talk to your partner and make sure they know theyre loved. i dont always have energy to put all my mental focus into it#and this is true for real life so im not really bothered by not dating anyone. but when its a game and i want my character to be with someo#and i know its fully optional and i know i could just apply the same logic to this i dont /want/ to. sometimes i want to experience#the same things other people do at least to a certain degree without the same emotional andmental stakes#no offense krobus#yapping#stardew#stardew valley#puppy plays sdv#sdv#this game has me by the ankles man
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turns out, i fit in pretty well with the riot grrrls because i, too, enjoyed angrily screaming about womanhood. the difference that went over my head at the time was that, generally, most of them hated being girls due to sexism, and i hated being a girl due to gender dysphoria.
ill never forget the angry punk girls who made me who i am, even as i outgrew a subculture that centered femininity. they helped me survive my teenage years, and ill always be grateful for the introduction to intersectional feminism
#was thinking about this lately#saw bikini kills post ab trans and gnc riotgrrrls and it made me feel seen#i know the scene has been criticized for being trans exclusionary#bikini kill in particular playing at a festival that had a transphobic policy#it makes me sad a lot of people are hesitant to get into the scene because of that#kathleen in particular has said she regrets that#it means a lot to me that she tries to make the scene inclusive#and she’s also raised money for lgbtq+ charities#i love that the movement is still alive and ppl are making an effort to diversify the scene#riot grrrl#transgender#trans#punk subculture#transmasc#punk#feminism
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🐮
#@ comment directed to me in a tag. i have not talked abt them anywhere publicly but if u were deep enough in the paint in 2020ish theyre#like not super surprising. i think i wanna get back around to the trolls in my reread (so itll b a while) before i say anthing solid#just so i can go in w intent to pay closer attention again but like#overall have a low opinion on most the troll boys insofar as i see that the narrative seems to also not care for them. they seem to exist#to serve narrative purposes & end up discarded when no longer relevant. ie they dont end up very interesting and thus i view#many fans with suspicion when they have 'boys disease' ie having an outsized focus on the boys of the story despite hs being by the end#an extremely female dominated text with a lot to say about masculinity as an opressive force#tavros and gamzee are the biggest bugbears here (only really beaten out in eyebrow raising by cronus and the male dancestors)#on account of fans of them often downplaying gamzee's misogyny that is core to his role as a charismatic cult leader (or worse#sending trans women death threats when they made the factual assesment that gamzee was written to be a weird misogynist calling it#character assassination etc. man 2020 was wild.) tavros mostly just ends up being an accessory to this crime tbh. though his genuinely#complicated relationship w vriska oft being flattened to villify vriska + an inability to actually read what tavros Says...#like. if you get rid of tavros' quirk. stammering and all. and read his lines. he's kind of fucking rude? and yeah its alternia they all ar#but i have my hesitancies wrt how people seem to infantilise him (a disabled character) to the point of ignoring his dialogue and flaws#when one of tavros' core conceits (u can argue if this is . like. something hussie should have stayed out of. like its not their lane) is#that shitty ppl online will be assholes but will be allowed to get away with it due to unrelated disability. which like. it was 2010 ig#but this is hit upon again with mituna being distinctly a 4 channer with real brain damage and speech issues & all his friends letting him#get away with shit he still clearly has the cognitive capacity to know is wrong. its very messily handled but. i dont rlly like tavros ig.#will b amazed if tumblr doesnt eat these tags i went on wayy too long. but im not putting this in plaintext for obvi reasons#lucabytereads
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now that artfight is over i can update my toyhouse bc my preparations for AF kinda made it the site with more accurate character info and references, when toyhouse was supposed to be that jhbdjhbd
#my posts#rambling#also btw#with the amount of lovely artwork i received from ppl depicting my bugs from my game project#I guess it might be time to properly introduce them officially on my socials#tho the tricky thing with that is i don’t wanna give too much away about what is it about#bc you know i am protective of my ideas#I was even hesitant to even post these characters bc it might ruin the surprise#but i don’t regret it bc a lot of ppl loved them and drew them so nicely 😭💕💕💕#also kjhkjh during artfight i came up with yet another love interest for the protag/player#who is totally not just Muriel The Arcana’s bugsona kjndkjnd#i’m gonna leave them for the actual game’s release tho; bc I do wanna keep some characters secret
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What bruce springsteen books/movies/etc do you recommend??
for things to watch, wings for wheels, the promise (making of darkness docu), vh1 storytellers, and the legendary springsteen on broadway show come immediately to mind, and for things to read, bruce's own memoir really is the king of bruce reads, i think. i also enjoyed peter ames carlin's bio, but if you're looking for something a little shorter, i revisit david remnick's profile of bruce in the new yorker anytime i want a pick-me-up, and dave marsh's write-up of a few days around the darkness tour in the 70s holds up! editing to add - oh my god how could i forget no nukes
#i realllyyyy misread this at first and thought you were asking about like a bruce-inspired reading list#and i was like oh man...where to beGIN! it was a lot of fun to mull there for a minute so thank you :')#also i know some ppl who follow me are big fans of bruce too so please don't hesitate to chuck anything i missed into the comments!!#anon
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Hellooo Mariana, I was given some matcha powder and I thought of you! I’m a bit clueless and intimidated about how to prepare it, can I ask what resources u learned from (if any) or any tips u might have? 👀🍵💚
eeeeeeeeeeep so excited for u welcome to the matcha club 🥳
my first advice is to get a matcha whisk and stand if ur able to! they’re not to pricey I think I got mine for 10 dollars. but I’ve seen ppl online say u can also use a fork or regular whisk
I heat up my water to 80° C no more no less! and I usually do a little less than a cup of filtered water
I do a little more than half a teaspoon of matcha powder but i would experiment with measurements cause the first time I used way too much and it actually made me sick from nausea oops
I put my matcha powder in a large glass measuring cup (the tall sides help when I’m mixing cause it can get messy plus I like that it has a spout so I can pour it into a mug) and break up the clumps with my whisk just stirring it around before I put in the water
when I add the water I don’t actually put it all at once. I’ll do a little bit like I would say maybe ? 1/4 cup? it helps when I’m frothing it to not have so much water at once. u wanna mix it in a “M” shape back and forth and it’ll start getting really bubbly and then little by little I keep adding more of the water. I like mixing it for awhile just cause it’s fun to see all the bubbles LOL
after I’ll put in a little bit of agave and whisk it also and then in my mug I put around 1/4 cup of oatmilk and then I’ll pour the matcha into the mug :D and that’s it! 🍵 :D
#hope this is clear :’) don’t hesitate to ask for clarification#also this is just my way but I know lots of ppl do it differently#answered#♥️♥️♥️
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good morning 🥺
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#sorrey ... not active ..... lots going on but also not (?)#IDK anyways i've reconnected w an old friend who's a childhood friend bcs shes the daughter of my mom's friend ^___^#she said she's gna get into the 1975 more !! but she's alrdy going to the arctic monkey's concert soon which is super cool#and i rmbr our mom asked me and lune if we knew them too <3 but we didn't know there was a legit concert SOBS#yeah miss her a lot and it's sweet how wnvr we do reconnect a bit it always so happens we're into the same thing of sorts :((#AND THEN! wow idk i've grown a lil less hesitant. somehow. idk. literally replied to the story on ig of a guy ik but haven't talked to in ag#ages* purely bcs he kept posting like woaaa based game and then ff6 best ff so i was like SO TRUE but have u played 14#and he has NOT but does want to and then wow we could have had a lil convo but i left to watch a movie sorry bro <//3#what else ... hmm ..... WELL. an old friend from all the way in 6th grade. okay so we often message each other a bit just like 'hey wna be#grpmates' or smth like that and that one time where they gave me a lil help for the chem grp work and i'm like. just comfy talking like#myself fr BUT THENNN messaged me sometime last week bcs. like smth w a grpwork and they got anxious they did smth wrong#bcs no one in the gc replied to them (sorry i didn't either SOBS) T___T ended up turning the convo to 'hey wt abt i finally try to talk w u#properly more' and HELL YEAHHH we both r the kinds that talk/type a lot but sometimes dip and disappear how lovely /gen LMAO <3#idk. uhm. with the school fair we have booths and shifts for the booths and my group is the one with uhh the 4 kids who i'm often groups#with and they're all the. yk kids. ppl who i'd get along w and i've been classmates w all of em b4 but you see they're a grp of friends now#RAGHH ONE OF THEM IK LIKES PERSONA (MULTIPLE?? IDK. they once were like yo apollo u seem like u like persona lol#IDK WHAT THAT IS SUPPOSED TO MEAN but yes i do have akechi and ren charms on my backpack for school#AND THEN ONE is into like gi pjsk a lot of rhythm games and gacha mobile but all like uhh. yeah? tot love live bandori ... still cool fr tho#she's rlly nice tbh lol ^___^ wait tbh all of them are HELP but uhm idk but it's nice when ppl r nice to me#tbf that's literally how i got my first crush BUT WE DON'T TALK ABT THAT !! yk sometimes i unconsciously wonder abt her or look for her and#then i did see her again after a few months since seeing her early in on the school year bcs shes in basketball and i hung out at the uhh#covered court w my best friend whos in another varsity bcs we stayed late at school that day to help out w fair preparations!#i refuse to like her again but i realize i like that familiarity with feelings and uhmm yeah shes cool ig i kinda wish i was less. uhm. shy#back then? you see i barely cld talk to her ... LIKE. she'd be like. heyy! and do shit sometimes and i WOULDN'T TALK or just smile and#mumble RAFGHHHFHFHDHH but she'd say hi to me and include me in things and jokes and it made me rlly /@!(@/'dmdkzn okay#AND sometimes when i do talk back I am SOOOO GODDAMN AWKWARD GOOD GODS anyways now i'm like. less awkward. or maybe i've just accepted it n#i'm cooler now B) and a lot more confident zEjfhejdjsnk. yeah. and uhmm yeah that's it#BUT YEAH nice classmate she asked me for a hug once lol and i notice she's affectionate w her friends n it reminds me of m y own bestie awhh#she sometimes talks to me which i rlly appreciate even if it prolly seems like i hate her sorry i just suck w talking
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among us lifesteal au (explodes)
idk if i’ll do anything with this but i really like the idea of it 👍 here’s what i have atm
spoke: imposter (idk if he’d have a specific role yet)
mapicc: imposter & linked with ro
ro: crewmate & linked with mapicc
leo: the executioner
ash: the glitch
cube: the engineer
zam: the detective
clown: the jackal (no sidekick)
jaron: the jester
bacon: the swapper
planet: the shifter (maybe)
rek: crewmate with flash modifier
mid: altruist
clutch: crewmate with button barry modifier
red: crewmate (not sure if he’d have any modifiers)
#van speaks#i really like the thought process for a lot of these#like mapicc & ro have the lovers role (although im hesitant to call it that since i don’t want ppl taking it the wrong way)#but if you’re unfamiliar w modded among us basically they’re linked & if one dies they both die at the same time#so nothing romantic 👍#leo’s the executioner and his target would be red (s3 ref woghh)#<- also why i made mid altruist; leo gets killed by one of the imposters and mid finds his body & revives him only for leo to go after red#which isn’t exactly what happened in s3 but the imposters r the bad guys yknow#detective zam bc ofc yayyy#clown’s the jackal which is a neutral role but works by themselves#and can kill anyone#u can’t tell me that jaron wouldn’t love being the jester#he’s such a little shit /aff please get this guy in a modded among us lobby and get him to be jester#i think bacon would fit swapper well since he’d want to switch people’s votes around either bc he thinks they’re wrong or j to be silly#rek w the flash modifier helps him escape situations faster#i feel like clutch would try to abuse the shit out of button barry to the point everyone gets pissed and votes him off#red would have to be a crewmate since he’s leo’s target but idk if he’d have a modifier#if anyone has any suggestions 4 this i’d love 2 hear them <3#or if there’s any questions abt the roles i feel like i know them decently well <- has watched too much among us
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...
#people get very confused when i say im trying to learn german#i feel like the common response is a hesitant: oh... r u interested in ww2 stuff?#and im like... r u asking if im learning german so i can like read 1st hand accounts from the naz1s????#bc that is the big german thing ppl kno. but no. thats not y i wanna learn german#my family is just extremely german but in a way thats so Americanized that we dont pronounce our last name correctly#and im the only one now how knows how to do that. so its like. this is the language of my ancestors#and a lot of labs in Germany r doing research im interested in so if i got good enough in the next 5 or 6 years i could do a post doc in#germany so it would b good to speak the language. and also i think its weird that ppl call it a harsh sounding language#bc idk it sounds sorta gutteral but no more or less harsh than any other imo#idk thats my new years resolution i guess. get a lot better at german. expand my lil vocabulary#aber ich bin zu krank und müde :-[ und mein deutsch ist kaputt und hässlich#gebrochen is probably the better broken but whatever#did i put and ist in there? im too lazy to check#whatever. im gonna try to buy a staple gun tomorrow so thats fun#unrelated
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lots of kinda scattered thoughts/rambling in the tags.
The only thing I need tumblr to do is to get like... cool with the idea you can hire people here to do commissions for you and to like.. consider monetary support for artists cuz one of the reasons and the biggest reason I moved to twitter in the first place is because people there buy my art. I make a living there doing art. And the vibe here is **we don't do that here** If you want artists to be here and do art you gotta be okay with the concept of artists trying to make money. I hate capitalism as much as the next person but I'm also 30 years old living with my fucking parents because I can't pay for a 1 bedroom apartment. Artists are not 'big business'. We're not Disney. We're just people trying to make a living or some money for groceries and shit.
#i love to buy commissions when i can afford it or when i see someone's posting something cute for sale.#I've also asked my favorite artists if they have an online store or if they're doing commissions and usually it's no.#like probably one of my more expensive commissions i bought I'm in a discord server for their art and i had to move SO SO fast to secure a#slot. so idk. like Yes part of it is a lot of ppl want to but don't have a lot of disposable income but part of it too is it just not being#clear who has a shop and who's actually actively taking commissions. I've also been burned on here and had someone take#$100-$200 without ever giving me the actual commissions so i think since then I've been a Bit more hesitant 😬 but i also have saved links#on my calendar for next payday bc i saw some cute stuff i wanted to buy floating around on here.#i don't think this assessment is wrong but i do feel like there's a huge disconnect between artists actively selling and ppl trying to buy.#except for accounts with followings so huge it doesn't matter bc if they post they're open ppl will jump for it like i did in discord.#🤔 i think two key things that are missing from tumblr as a platform is 1. a way to signal @everyone that you're taking comms and 2. a#List type functionality where all the art accounts we follow can have their own little dedicated dashboard so open comm posts aren't “lost#in the noise” so to speak. I think there are changes that could be made to tumblr itself as a platform if it wanted to help its art#community more. I know there are plans in the works for letting users sell their physical products but I'd love to have better#organization and portfolios n indicators etc for ppl who sell things digitally. idk.#there is a conversation to be had here and things that could be changed/added.
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who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it
#id have to be waterboarded before i can talk abt how i see a lot of my adhd and personality in mitsumi iwakura let alone post it#idk how to talk abt this without feeling like im talking over or invalidating ppls experiences relating with a character#someone was talking abt how ppl tie laios' autism to special interest and social difficulties but not much else which kinda flattens it#and then went into a respectful in depth analysis of other autistic behaviour that laios exhibits and it wasnt phrased meanly#its fascinating and important to me to hear someone explain a little bit abt traits that they recognized and often go overlooked#because it does help me learn more about it. but i think thats also where hesitancy kicks in when it comes to depicting it accurately#like i have adhd and some of my adhd symptoms overlap with autism (time blindness and pattern seeking behaviour) but that only means#it feels familiar to me even without having autism. on top of that traits arent always cleanly determined as being /caused/ by#a disorder. to understand my environment i compare it to something unrelated but similar to make it more familiar and for the longest time#i thought that was a personality thing and not an information processing thing since i loved playing pretend in my head as a kid#so if you make a character who experiences that hoping to reach people that also experience that and tell them its not weird or#smth youre making up like. thats the goal. ppl who dont get it arent expected to it just means it doesnt cater to them but it helps them#become familiar to it yk? since i dont have autism myself i dont feel confident i can depict it properly or explain it in my own words#but that doesnt mean im trying to dismiss it or try and cut it out completely.. ill just leave the floor open to someone who /can/#a lot of issues around fanon depictions are when smth is baselessly popularized or a characters personality and behavior is flattened#especially to fit them into a trending meme. its harmless and its supposed to be for fun but it gets tricky when you drag things that#need to be carefully explained beforehand or else it gets lost in translation. like that tweet abt 'hyperfixating' on cooking pasta#once it becomes popular language usually the original meaning is left out for the sake of simplifying it for everyone that when it#circles back theres a sort of hesitancy like. am i using it the way it was intended or am i unknowingly using the popularized version of it#actually thats probably why i felt wrongfooted during diagnosis bc it felt like i was misusing the words i heard to describe what i felt#i /know/ i see a lot of myself in mitsumi because our minds are always somewhere else and we tend to put good faith first and for me#that personal connection is enough. but idk it feels like its always gonna have to be 'palatable' first before i can talk abt it openly#mad respect to writers and creators who stick to their story even if theres the looming fear of ppl misinterpreting it and letting them#have it.. its been almost 2 weeks and i am so close to deleting that m3 dunmeshi drawing bc ppl keep saying chilchuck wouldnt have 200 HP#IT LITERALLY SAYS I MADE IT WHILE WATCHING EP 1. I USED EARTHBOUND LOGIC AND I WASNT EVEN TAKING IT SERIOUSLY CHILL#yapping
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every time i see someone complain abt guz.ma fanart not depicting him in certain ways I'm always shouting and jumping I'M OVER HERE !!!! I'M DRAWING WHAT YOU WANT !!!! LOOK OVER HERE IM SERVING IT UP HOT N READY WEEKLY !!!! but like... really quietly bc actually i dont want anyone seeing my art of him bc im scared of ppl sneering at me over the fact that its all s.elfship art 😔😔😔
#SOBBINGGGGG FOREVERRRR#SORRY THAT IM IN LOVE WITH HIM. AS IF ITS MY FAULT !!!! SMH SMH (/silly)#ppl complain abt artists drawing him skinny or with abs#and i just saw someone bemoaning that nobody draws him post-redemption arc#I'M RIGHT HEREEEE IM DRAWING HIM IM DOING ALL THE RIGHT THINGS LOOK OVER HERE !!!#BUT ALSO DONT LOOK BECAUSE IM SCARED DHFFHDJDKL#also i KNOWWW my interpretation of him is pretty far off of canon but like... growth will do that to a person idk SBDHDKL#also i hesitate to depict any aggression or violence from him for several reasons#so I'm just. hrrgrgrhh afraid bc i know my public works of him are pretty far outside of canon#and i dont want any high-n-mighty bozo waltzing in here to tell me I've got him all wrong#1) my publicly available interpretations of him are Not All that i have. i keep a lot to myself bc i dont want things getting misconstrued#2) i don't gotta explain anything actually DBDHDJSML#me when i make up a guy to be scared of and have to defend myself against LMAO#ANYWAYS... i wish i could feed the guz.ma fans but im too afeard 😔😔#dandy.cmd
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Realized today that our therapist has definitely picked up on me and Mercury's situation 🤦♂️
#OOPS#cuz yeah like#when Mercury fronted in therapy a few weeks ago he brought up how close we r and stuff#didnt mention the ~relationship~ bc. yknow#n when i was in therapy yesterday i also kinda brought it up bc it was important#n i was like ''yeah i cant say no to mercury bc he's my favorite and i like him a lot''#AND SHE ASKED LIKE. OH WHAT DO U LIKE ABOUT HIM???#AND SHE COMMENTED LIKE. OH YOU TWO SEEM VERY CLOSE#and i didnt fucking REALIZE that she absolutely picked up on it until i was thinking about it earlier#RAHHHHH IM SO OBLIVIOUS FBDJSBDJDJS#im wondering if we should just tell her. like we've been hesitant bc in-system dating sounds absolutely nuts to ppl who arent familiar w it#buut like#she knows. lmao#and i dont like lying to therapists. i mean technically not telling her isnt lying but yknow#anyhoo. JFJDKSBEISBSSHJSH OOOPS#🎸
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Not my ex logging onto tumblr dot com to tell the most contrived, contextless version of the worst fights of our relationship to make herself appear like the delicate victim of my anger lmaooo
#look im not gonna spend too much time and energy on this#coz i dont like ppl who spend so much time badmouthing their ex after a relationship#like it may be that your ex acted like shit but also you stayed in that relationship so yknow some of that is on you too#(i also make a difference between processing pain which is fine obviously#and badmouthing which to me means like#putting the whole blame of the relationship going badly and any bad things you felt on the other person... anyways)#anyways#and thats the attitude i hold myself too like yeah there are a lot of things that i dislike that happened in our relationship but like#its on me that i let it happen again and again#and hopefully in the future i'll have learned from it to have better relationships#all that being said...#boy i love (sarcastic) the way she tells those stories because i sure as hell have a very.... very.... very different version to tell LMAO#but oh well you know what#the good thing about breaking up is#nobody needs to agree anymore on what happened we can just walk away with our own version#and also tbf its her own tumblr blog like if she wants to process our breakup that way all the power to her...#its just... really fucking funny to me the way she tells what happens... but oh well. at least i dont have to deal with this stuff anymore#i finallt blocked her after months of hesitating so she shouldnt be able to see this#and i can finally go back to using my tumblr blog as ... my tumblr blog
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Could you do a Saiki x touch-starved reader
(Also I love your writes!❤️)
SAIKI K x touch-starved! reader hcs
☆ saiki is very apprehensive to touch you
☆ mostly because he's not naturally very physically affectionate
☆ and also because if he gets too flustered he might accidentally level a whole country , ya never know
☆ but if he can read your thoughts so when he finds out that you're eager for hugs and cuddles n all that sweet stuff
☆ he learns to deal with it
☆ and finds ways to touch you that work for both of you
☆ he likes to sit next to you , shoulder to shoulder, just on the couch while y'all are watching something or on the floor while playing video games
☆ it sounds awkward and that's because it kinda is but he considers it to be peak intimacy
☆ and massages !!
☆ he doesn't mind giving / receiving massages at all , especially from you , in fact he really enjoys it
☆ that is the most at peace you will ever see him
☆ though iirc it's canon that trying to rub his back feels like chipping away at stone, but you make it work somehow.. perhaps a chisel ??
☆ he also pats your head, another thing that you might find awkward but comes naturally to him in terms of affection
☆ he's very hesitant to cuddle because he's afraid his super strength might activate and he might crush you
☆ if you're tried and you ask him to carry you to your bed , assuming he'd pick you up bridal style and you'd have a cute moment
☆ you couldn't be more wrong because he'll pick you up with one hand carry you to your bed like a platter of shrimp
☆ he is even very nervous about holding hands because again, super strength
☆ and it makes him feel the tiniest bit bad because like.. he is depriving you of normal boyfriend/couple experiences bc he's a psychic
☆ bc if he was just a normal boy, he'd find a way to overcome his adversity to touch and physical affection for you because he knows you like it and it's the least he can do
☆ but it's obviously a bit harder when you're a psychic
☆ sometimes he practises by hugging pillows but that usually just results in torn pillowcases and feathers/cotton like.. everywhere
☆ and plus the stakes are a lot higher when it comes to you so he's more likely to get anxious and mess something up
☆ but he makes up for it by being sweet in ways you might not expect
☆ like he tends to feed you desserts a lot, and he doesn't even realise how intimate it can be, he just thinks of it as normal to want to share some of his favourite food with a person he loves
☆ and if you get a bit of icing on your lips, he'll wipe it with a napkin for you
☆ he also doesn't mind it when you touch him
☆ since less can go wrong that way
☆ like you could legitimately start using him and human jungle gym and he couldn't care less
☆ in fact, he secretly enjoys it
☆ sometimes you think you can catch him out and surprise him with a hug attack but of course that hardly ever works because... he's psychic
☆ so you'll just pounce on him and instead of falling over like most ppl would, he stays upright and you are left hugging and clinging onto him like he's a tree
☆ also he'll never admit it but he loves lil kiss on the cheek !!
☆ makes him feel very much loved and afterwards and so enamoured and he thinks he does a good job at hiding it but you can always tell bc his expression goes from 😐 to 🙂
☆ a very subtle difference but you as his s/o notice it immediately
#saiki k fluff#saiki x reader#saiki x you#saiki k x reader#saiki k#saiki no psi nan#the disastrous life of saiki k#kusuo saiki#kusuo x reader#kusuo saiki x reader
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