#and all the stuff about recycling
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There are more things in the Parable than Stanley knows about. [Blank Scripts AU]
#hoh boy i was going to make a comic to introduce these monsters but#i couldnt help myself and made an animation instead#because i just think they're so neat and cool okay#listen i cant for the life of me just infofump about my AU and OCs#because i just think that making actual content about my lore and stuff will not only raise the chances of people being interested#but also it will also raise my motivation to actually produce more content other than the same old recycled front-facing-profile drawings#i need to get creative with my stuff or I'll also loose interest and I DONT want that#in order to be happy with what i have i cant just think about it and expect to be given something new NOOOO i need to MAKE it ughh#i cant believe in order to get more content out of my own au i would need to draw it and feed myself ugh ugh ugh unbelievable (kidding)#but also#i wanna make a little music video or animation again for youtube#its been a hot while since ive uploaded anything in there at all#maybe an animation reel will do for now?#i hope so :(#because ive been working on expanding the Black Scripts AU#and honestly i dont regret it#i had a lot of fun making up scenarios and comics for Stanley and the Narrator (Black)#but yeah!#apart from this little video#you wont be getting an explanation on what these things are supposed to be#and why theyre there#actually i was originally gonna make this into a full fledge animation with sound effect/music/frame-by-frame movement/etc.#but i got lazy HAHA#tsp blank scripts au#tsp au#the stanley parable#the stanley parable ultra deluxe#tsp
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HAPPY birthday to Garfield, and meeeeee!!! he is 46 this year, and i am 26!
#garf#garfield#art#traditional art#oil pastel#i finished this ahead of our birthday but it was really hard to take a pic to upload because of the heat wave orz#its been sealed generously and carefully with kamar varnish but i still was worried about melting LOL but it was fine#anyway this years garfdown was a little sloppy because i like. forgot that june existed orz#but i still lke the stuff i made! fun little painterly garfs#im excited to be 26! although i did have a nightmare last night. today is garbage day and i had a nightmare that instead of#picking up all the stuff set out - that the garbage guys only picked up the cardboard recycling and left the plastic containers untouched#and then i had to figure out how to deal with them in the midst of this heatwave. luckily irl this did not happen LOL thank u very much#my dear local sanitation workers for picking up my recycling so nicely. i appreciate you#but is this what happens when ur 26..... you have nightmares about garbage day..... awesome
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I’m approaching 27 which means that we are now in this unexpected period of life where we need to replace all of our “good enough for now” things that we got super cheap (or free from family) when we first started living on our own. I am realizing that it is VERY difficult to get rid of things, not just from an emotional attachment standpoint but also:
“Well it technically DOES still work even if it’s unpleasant and falling apart” (especially applicable to ugly/uncomfortable furniture)
“We don’t have to get rid of it, we can always repair it” (it is literally broken and falling apart)
“Wouldn’t it be Bad and Consumeristic to just throw something away that isn’t actually broken just because I want a new one?” (this one plagues me)
“Getting a New Thing would be way too expensive” (hasn’t even checked the price of a replacement, I absolutely can afford it but it would cost more than $50)
Even when I’ve fought through those arguments (which is very hard to do considering these are things I learned while growing up during the 2008 recession and struggling financially due to severe illness and death in the family when I was young) and come out the other side determined to actually replace something, a new issue arises. “How am I going to get rid of the old thing?”
“I can’t donate this because it’s broken or stained”
“I want to sell this but this requires a lot of energy that I don’t have (photographing the item, pricing the item, posting an ad for the item, sorting through offers for the item, arranging pickup for the item, possibly even shipping the item)”
“I want to throw this away but it’s too large to put in the garbage so it must go on the curb and I don’t know the protocol for that”
“I want to throw this away but it’s too large to put in the garbage and too broken to give away so it must go to the dump and I don’t have a vehicle I can use to take this there so I will need to reach out to family for help”
“I want to throw this away but I’m not sure how to do so in an Environmentally Friendly way”
This sort of situation is a nightmare for my mentally ill mind, and it results in me simply giving up and putting up with keeping the shitty item I know I want to replace and repeating the same excuses to myself to justify it enough that I don’t break down in frustrated tears every time I look at the thing I’ve been wanting to get rid of for months.
I’m sick of it though. I am tired of having to put up with being stuck with something I don’t like just because it’s not “bad enough” to justify going through the stress of removing from my life. I am tired of living with these things that I want to get rid of taking up the space I want to give to something new that I do love that I picked out myself on purpose. I am tired of my own happiness not being a good enough reason to justify doing something difficult or inconvenient. I am approaching 30. I don’t want to live the next decade of my life like I’ve lived the first two, just dealing with what’s been given to me and not saying no, incapable of removing things I don’t like to make space for things I do.
#talk#this started as a vent about my couch and my lawnmower and my deck furniture and my car#ended a lot more metaphorical and emotional than expected#but. yeah.#I want my life to be something I chose on purpose#not just whatever I’ve been given#I think I deserve better than that#but also for real why is it so fucking hard to just throw something away!!!#IMO this is partly an infrastructure issue specifically when it comes to things I don’t know HOW to throw away#also there should be more trash categories#I’m sick of things I can’t recycle being tossed in a landfill when they could be composted#but I live in a second story apartment so I can’t compost it myself#also there are many things that I can’t recycle but also SHOULD NOT go in a landfill#that’s one of those things that stresses me out a lot#environmentalism is important to me#wish it was more accessible#ALSO!!!!#what do I do with old potting soil that’s lost nutrients? do I just fertilize the soil in a pot if a plant is doing poorly because it’s been#in the same pot for 4 years#??#do I just NOT replace the soil?#I think i do need to replace the soil but what do I do with the old stuff????#again. second story apartment. so I can’t just put it in the yard.#also even if I could I don’t know if I should!! what if I spread diseases or bacteria or invasive plants!!!#do I toss it in the woods nearby? same issue as before!!!!#do I! once again!! just put up with keeping this old dirt!!!!!!!!!#I don’t want to be burdened by a giant tub of old fucking dirt of all things!!!!!!!#WHY IS IT SO HAAAARD#I DONT WANNA BE A HOARDERRRR
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i was debating adding different options but people tend to use more than one social media platform lol
#winx club#winx#but anyway i do lurk on the winx reddit page thingy and it’s a lot of the same recycled stuff. like how much they hate s4#etc etc or about how toxic riven is or how much they hate bloom#i do understand that they are rewatching the show probably for the first time#i feel that everyone characterizes the characters different on different platforms#i think on twitter i saw someone describe musa as being one of the more levelheaded characters but imo musa is one of the most emotionally#driven characters!! but i do think being levelheaded is the persona musa wants to project to hide how vulnerable she is yk#anyway i feel that on tumblr people tend to be more forgiving and are more willing to analyze riven’s character#imo sky hate is pretty universal on all platforms#but i do feel that i am more bothered by this stuff cus ive been hyper fixated on winx for years#anyway just wanted an excuse to vent
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Should I just admit my shoes have reached the end of their natural lifespan and buy new ones? Probably. But this took 40 minutes, some glue and some embroidery floss, and now I can at least schlep them another summer.
#visible mending#embroidery#mine#also i love wearing visibly mended stuff#recently was reminded of it and now i keep thinking about it: pretty much all of my look is On Purpose#and that includes beat up mended shoes#also something something boot theory sustainability reduce before recycling etc#kaj rambles
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seeing that they announced an official plush today, just as i rly started getting going on making my own by hand ... i do not see it ... i am looking away .... this shall not deter me from my goal nor will it take the wind out of my sails.....
#the sleep deprivation is making reasoning and emotions difficult though. why do i feel sad abt this wtf 😭#its by m.akeship though and i .... have not rly been very impressed w their plushies ngl 😭#like they look fine and im sure theyre decent quality#but for some reason it just feels. lifeless? or very corporate idk#i also cannot help but wonder about their business practices and labour values. considering the Amount of product theyre putting out.#i would be very interested to know what their factories are like. where they are sourcing their fabrics etc from.#and especially how much they are paying their employees.#oh woah this is a canadian company??? interesting....#idk i just think maybe i am not a fan of anything that gets mass produced#I've become rly picky abt stuff lately fjfkdl like... how many of these are going to end up in landfills!!!#that ''landfillcore'' comment i saw a while back has rly stuck w me#I've thought abt all of this for ages now but that specific word rly solidified it in my brain#ANYWAYS SORRY I AM RAMBLING SO MUCH. many thoughts many feelings etc etc etc#trying to be mindful of the footprint i leave behind and all that. reduce reuse recycle. ''reduce'' being the first objective!!!#I'm a wet blanket sorryyyyyy i simply cannot help but think about things from an environmental standpoint lol#i hope the plushies that get made end up looking good and being cherished but i fear they'll be mostly thrown out/forgotten within a decade#not to say my handmade ones are much different but. there is a difference in how much environmental waste goes into the making of them ig#ERM anyways sorry again. me when i apologize and then go on to stick my foot in my mouth some more 😭😭😭#dandy.cmd#vent //
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if i ever write gravity falls fic it would be about how mabel gets her yarn while on vacay
#n smthn about… unraveling her older pieces to recycle the yarn bc she just loves making stuff#but all the emotions attached to the ones from this summer…. traumatic knitting experiences and more
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#the stuff in my apartment is slowly dwindling and i starting to get emotional about it#by the end of the day today i will have everything packed except the couple of outfits i need from now until I leave on monday#and all the recycling and trash should be ready to go out#which will leave me with just the cleaning left#i'm a little sad about it honestly#moving drama#personal#*i'm
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idk if it's an unpopular opinion (and i probably WILL get hate for this) but. i do not like jily. 🤭
(also your tag says 'lez do this' and i was super confused for a hot moment bc i'm lez and like. you know i exist??? lmao)
agree
hiiii <3 i’m very sure that’s an unpopular opinion in certain circles so ur good!
but also, yes i totally feel ya!! even when i started reading hp fanfic, i’ve never been able to get into jily and i think it’s probably bc im really, really against the kind of portrayal both james & lily get in fics. (to be fair, these r opinions from a few years and i’m pretty sure it’s changing now but i haven’t read any significant amount of jily recently to tell)
lily, for eg, gets deified to a ridiculous degree. like our girl was NOT some dainty little maiden floating thru some life. sure, we don’t get a lot about her but what we do paints a decent picture. and that’s not to even mention how one dimensional her portrayal is—centred around her sacrifice and written as a copy of hermione (or molly if she’s older). all of it basically just turned me off her and consequently jily as a ship.
and james oh my god. don’t even get me started. sometimes i feel like he gets done dirty by jily fans than the snape lovers lol. atleast those guys r honest about their intentions 💀
and when put together, u have this very old & boring fun sponge/manchild dynamics that i really, really dislike. so yeah, that’s..a rant and a half lol.
Send me unpopular opinions!
#i’ve ranted about this here and there#but jily has these dynamics of like. recycled boomer relations#and yeah it’s changing now as a younger crowd is writing it#but now my issue is that its almost always coexisting with wolfstar and we all know how i feel ab that lol#and the desi potters things that slowly taking over 😓#so yeah i rly don’t see jily in my list of interests#i think there’s only like One author on ffn who’s jily stuff i rly liked#but that’s it#i’ve tried my hand at it once but that’s about it. not very interesting to me#i don’t see a lot of passion or chemistry there tbh#and don’t even get me started on how older lily is written as a parallel to molly#bc people can’t think of a mom who’s not the bad cop#pen’s asks#ask game
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a weird little thing abt me is i will definitely mock shitty ai art but it never feels right doing it about the hands simply by virtue of the fact that a lot of them look indistinguishable from the hands i was doing years ago when i first got a drawing tablet
#like id have the right number of fingers obv but like. putting the thumb on the wrong side#fingers bending weird directions or connecting in weird places#weird anatomy at joints‚ freaky nails‚ bad proportions‚ bad perspective‚ etc etc etc#people say 'this isnt ai like in sci-fi its just machine learning' but to me its a lot more interesting to look at it as#'this isnt ai like in scifi /yet/'#like yeah the stuff ai does in fiction isnt possible at this point but like. i find it difficult not to wonder if this#is the ai version of infancy stages yknow? like.#ppl go 'its cant write its own stuff its just recycling stuff its been fed' as if thats not kinda how people . learn to talk?#idk i just find it hard to agree with arguments that act like where we currently are at is the furthest these technologies could possibly#evolve in our lifetimes#'it just makes things up' you mean like toddlers going on long winding rambles about unicorns and monsters or w/e#'it cant do art good' you mean like a child? or even just literally Anyone who doesnt know how to draw yet?#like. idk. i feel like people are trying very very hard to insist the ai of today is still the same as it was in the clevverbot days#and that its impossible to evolve any further#people want to cling to the old days when ai stuff didnt pass the turing test by a much wider marging than it tends to now#dont want to admit that it does indeed sometimes surpass the turing test and likely would be able to even moreso were it#not for restraints#(see: that one stock trading ai that did insider trading vs various chatbots not bring allowed to write disparaging things#about copyrighted people or w/e)#if ai stuff was still truly indistinguishable from human works then we wouldnt need to spend so much time#hashtag exposing things as being ai generated#and i just think its bad to‚ in pursuit of that‚ mock things that are like. just stuff all beginner artists struggle with#i guarantee you there is not a single artist out there who hasnt drawn a hand that made them want to curl up and die at least once.#i got very off-topic there but swung it back around at the end there so. hashtag win#origibberish
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we don't think any of you guys know how fucking hard masterposts are
#we speak#<this is a joke. we are joking. this is something that We Did To Ourself due to our need to be meticulous on tagging and such#directly hampering our ability to post things even if they're As Good As Done by now. or even done entirely#realistically if we could hammer our a masterpost like those guys we see doing like. “day 1 (shipname)” then we would be done VERY fast#but we have DIGNITY and also we uhh. cover a wider range than most whump folks we see on stuff like this?#we cover Relevant Info because we dont generally. stick to One character. or One set of characters. or One fandom. or-#yknow the fact that during the latter days of this challenge we were going like “6 cordyceps works is probably Enough”#“we need a better goddamn idea for this prompt. if we more of these in this narrow of a period of time we'll start recycling things”#probably says something about us. unfortunately we are fundamentally incapable of being the sort of person who can slam out#29 days of the same ship like we saw in a handful of those masterposts#which. unfortunately. means we need a more involved tagging system for masterposts since we can't just do “all of this is (x)”#and then we spend another hour hunting for a painting we did in germany that we couldve SWORN was in our luggage#but that we just CAN'T FIND anymore that we're starting to have a sinking suspicion we left somewhere in germany#anyways if any of our posting gets further delayed. assume we're in the rotatatron. and also trying to set up ao3 postings.
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living with other people really fucking sucks sometimes
#bitching in tags you were warned#my roommate pulled me aside on saturday and basically launched into me about how she does all the cleaning in our house which#she doesn't!!!#i do all the dishes everytime i use the kitchen and take out the trash and recycling and put away stuff she and our other roomie leave out#but she started pressuring me to do way more time intensive stuff like cleaning the floors and the shower more and just#i fucking can't#i am out of the house from 9a to 9p most nights and when i am here i'm either wfh or sleeping or crashing#so now im trying to fucking clean at night before i get ready for bed and i can't take it#i feel so judged and like shes resenting me all the time and i keep having like fucking mental breakdowns every night#when i'm trying to fall asleep#and i'm so frustrated bc her standard of clean is like pristine which is way different from me and our other roomie#and we never misrepresented ourselves to her we said we were tidy but had trouble keeping up with bigger clean stuff and she said it was ok#so why are you acting brand new about it one year later!!#i can't cope like my schedule was punishing enough as it is
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idk why but so many gifmakers online are absolutely insufferable. like you'll see the most gorgeous sets from one person who's in a bunch of your fandoms, and then you'll scroll and see the most heinous takes floating about on their blogs
#so many of the ones i've seen (and maybe it's because i'm mostly in video game fandoms) are very much in the dark academia#pseudo-intellectual ''i'm better than you because of the media i consume'' camp and it. it drives me up the goddamn wall#it's very much the 2010s hipster mentality recycled and it SUCKS to see because so many are so good at what they do#but just because you're capable of making art doesn't mean your opinion is any more valid than anyone else's#idk maybe i am just hypersensitive to these really smug attitudes about fandom. but i feel like i've blocked all of the really popular#gifmakers for rancid takes in video game fandoms and now it's really hard to find shit i enjoy lmao#something something pros and cons about curating your online experience. i may be a little too trigger-happy with the block button lol#ALSO. this gets even worse when they're oc blogs lol. im saying this as someone with an oc-specific sideblog but#those places are breeding grounds for this hipster superiority complex mentality. so i can never find stuff for my own oc blog :/#michi.txt
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I really like my new roommate as a person and I'll probably like her as a roommate once we're in a rhythm, but right now I'm in the phase where I'm quite distressed that the home I'm used to is different in so many ways! Like wtf kind of person buys bottled water all the time and doesn't recycle the bottles???????????????
#also she completely rearranged the way the dishes were organized and she leaves her stuff out on the bathroom counter and she threw away the#recycling box and she put her foot cream on a pile of my stuff and she wears perfume and she leaves the lights on when she leaves rooms#and I am quite unhappy about all of that!
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Thank fuck it's (personal) fridayyyy!!!!! And AND it's raining!!!!!
I feel tired and little dumb cause one annoying workmate gets to me, its very small things and mayhaps mostly that they're very city folk, like preferring pleather over leather and so on,
But!!! I'm tryna be positive and just try again next week!!! 💪
#i can be better person!!!! i know i can!#my life#but man that sorta people are DUMNB !!!!!#no animals products used doesn't automatically mean better#also I've been thinking that how these yuppies and city people tend to use stuff once and throw it away and yea#i know its partly because im poor but also I think people do value stuff more in more rural areas??#of course part of that too is that poorer people tend to live at smaller cities and so on but yeah#its wild#i wish people like that understood how empty and silly they look cause usually they also talk alot about environment and recycling etc#but dont apparently see themselves part of it all at all#ya know??
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Good advice, but Target is also a LOT closer than any museum I want to see AND going to Target is cheaper than parking/regional rail/gas/entrance fees for a museum.
Also closer than Target and probably gets more of my money? Thrift stores. Much cooler stuff than Target, just as close, and cheaper.
#fuck Target#fuck commercialism#fuck gratuitous consumption#thrift stores are reuse#reduce reuse recycle#plus you get to imagine the wild-ass stories about the origins of some weird fucking thrift store stuff#downside of living in the suburbs of a major metro area#all the decent museums are in the downtown-ish area of said major metro area#it takes an hour for me to get down there whether I drive or take transit#the thrift store is 15 minutes away#I get so much of my stuff from thrift stores instead of Target or Walmart or Amazon
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