#and all the recycling and trash should be ready to go out

[fiona-fififi]

...

[shuahoonie]

unspoken words | jeon wonwoo

pairing: non-idol!wonwoo (svt) x fem!reader

notes: office!au (kinda?), fluff, suggestive jokes, swearing, idiots 2 lovers. alcohol consumption, jeonghan the matchmaker. the one where reader and wonwoo’s paths kept missing each other until they didn’t. loosely based on the song unspoken words by mxmtoon.

word count: 5.1k

summary: you and wonwoo always had a complicated relationship— no matter how hard you two tried, your lives had a funny way of getting intertwined.

and stubborn may you both be, wonwoo will always admit his feat when it comes to you.

part of the to x, with love mini series

shuahoonie's masterlist | to x, with love masterlist

“i never asked you to stay,” wonwoo muttered as you helped him clean up after the info session that your work had conducted for a group of students.

“this is ridiculous,” you sighed more so to yourself “there’s no way you could’ve done this by yourself.” you said while you held the blue recycling bin, gathering all of the leftover flyers and other papers that had writing on them. you also had a separate bin for the coffee lids and cup sleeves to put in the recycling as well.

“you could’ve just left,” wonwoo was watching you the entire time, making a mental note that you were serious about putting away your trash. “i know seokmin is waiting for you in the lobby.”

“it’s okay.” you replied, not even bothering to look him in the eye. instead, you gathered everything in a neat pile.

“you shouldn’t keep him waiting,” the words came out so harsh when he said it. even wonwoo was surprised, he wasn’t usually like this.

“he’ll be fine,” you said dismissively, not really in the mood to argue with him.

“yn,” wonwoo calls your name as if he hated doing it. “go.”

it took everything within you to stop yourself from yelling at him. “your anger will mean nothing,” seokmin’s words would ring in your ear. so you took a deep breath, dropped what you were doing and left without another word.

“oh, seok, i was ready to pounce him.” you grumbled, stabbing the lettuce on your salad a little too aggressively.

"what, like sexually?" seokmin realized it was a bad joke. the way you were practically throwing daggers at him made it painfully obvious that you were not in the mood to kid around. "i'm sorry, yn, but you really need to lighten up."

"if there's anyone who needs to lighten up, it's him," you argued, munching on your greens. "in fact, maybe i should light him up."

"i still don't understand how you two got off on the wrong foot," seokmin points out, hoping a proper explanation will emit from you.

you shrugged because you didn’t know what to tell your friend. the first time you properly met wonwoo was at your workplace. you even thought he was cute— quiet, had the nicest smile. your other coworkers were even raving about how polite and kind he was.

imagine your surprise when the ‘polite’ cutie from the editorial floor practically threw daggers at you as soon as you stepped into the office with the cerulean blue folders. this threw off wonwoo as he did the preparation for the meeting.

“in my defence, i saved both our asses when i replaced the folders during that important meeting with the new york office,” you grumbled.

unbeknownst to you, wonwoo kept a close track of your encounters. the first time wonwoo met you was through university.

you were the president of the school’s undergraduate publication journal and you were only in your second year. wonwoo was one of the new student recruits, he was a third year. he actually thought you were cute until you had assigned him to deal with international relations— wonwoo had applied for the editorial layout section. wonwoo was not happy.

you probably don’t remember him, wonwoo knew it. how could you? you were running around, trying to figure out the logistics, gather and have people review these submissions, edit and have it all printed before the next term starts. meanwhile, wonwoo was stuck somewhere, trying to solve things on his end. you only left notes on his work, you two barely met during meetings. you two had no direct contact.

once you were in your third year, you had to step down as president and become a casual editor instead. wonwoo became the publication journal’s president that year. you two still had no direct contact.

you unintentionally beat him for that librarian assistant position that wonwoo was gunning for as it'll boost his resume.

somehow, for wonwoo, you were always one step ahead of him and he doesn't like that one bit.

so the day you pranced into the office with your signature bright smile, wonwoo felt territorial over a place where he felt like he finally was one step ahead of you.

wonwoo didn't even like that seungcheol served you the last chocolate cake the day he stopped by at heaven's cloud cafe.

"how could you, cheol?" wonwoo huffed, his arms crossed, as cheol placed the iced americano and a slice of strawberry cake on wonwoo's table.

"it's just a slice, dude," seungcheol looked at him weirdly. "and you don't even like chocolate.”

“yeah, but i wanted a chocolate cake today.”

“jeon wonwoo, quit being weird and eat your cake,” jun comments as he appears behind seungcheol, dropping his things on the floor and sitting on the opposite of wonwoo.

while jun waits for his order to arrive, he worked on the monthly report that his boss has been pressuring him to do. as jun went on rambling about how much he hates his job, wonwoo is occupied with the idea of you. how you were always a step ahead of him.

from then, jeon wonwoo declared a one-sided competition against you.

your idea of jeon wonwoo was simple— he was the cute guy from the editorial team who hates your guts. why? surely, you don’t know.

one rainy afternoon, seokmin made sure to tell you that he won’t be able to give you a ride home, so he gave you the spare umbrella that he had.

“please be kind, ynnie, and let someone stand under your umbrella if they don’t have theirs,” seok reminded you.

“you know damn well i’m always kind,” you huffed with a pout— in which seok just gave you a pointed look before he handed you an umbrella and your lunch.

it seemed that your words had come to haunt you because here you were, walking under the rain using seok’s tiny umbrella, passing by wonwoo who was waiting in front of the office building— probably waiting for the rain to stop as he had no umbrella.

“he’d be waiting all night,” you thought to yourself. you had a long internal battle whether you’d just ignore him but seok’s words were ringing in your ear.

taking a deep breath, you asked “do you want to share an umbrella?”

wonwoo’s startled eyes looked at you and your umbrella. “i’m calling a cab,” he answered. wonwoo wasn’t exactly lying, he’s been trying to get one but the rain has made it extremely difficult to find one.

“well, you’d be calling all night. cabs are extremely hard to find especially at times like these,” you answered. wonwoo hated that you were right. again, always one step ahead of him. “subways are still running, do you want to walk together?”

wonwoo stared at you for what felt like an eternity before you rolled your eyes and pulled him under your umbrella. “we’re walking, stop overthinking it.”

you two were walking quietly in the rain. you’ve been coworkers for almost a year now and you can’t remember the time you and wonwoo had a proper conversation— one that you two didn’t end up bickering about senseless things. you didn’t even know why you two were always butting heads when you two were always working closely together. 

as you tried to squeeze the two of you under seok’s tiny umbrella, you noticed that his shoulder was practically soaking wet. of all the umbrellas that he’d give you, he had to choose the tiniest one he owned. this prompted you to hover the umbrella more on his side, allowing the rain to soak your exposed shoulder instead. 

wonwoo noticed how you moved the umbrella towards him, making him raise an eyebrow. you were wonwoo’s greatest puzzle— he can’t guess your next move and what’s worse is that you’re always one step ahead of him. “what are you doing?” he asked with furrowed brows. 

you looked up at him, suddenly aware of how tall he is. no wonder your arms were getting tired from holding that damn umbrella up. “what do you mean?” you asked, confused by his question.

wonwoo grabbed the umbrella from you— your hands touching for a brief moment. you ignored whatever was forming in the pit of your stomach. maybe you’re just hungry? wonwoo hovered the umbrella closer to you, fully aware of the fact that his shoulder was getting wet from the rain. “you’re getting soaked,” wonwoo replied curtly. 

“so are you,” you pointed out as you held the umbrella and tried to move it closer to him. however, wonwoo resisted it. 

“i’m fine,” he says. 

“whatever you say,” you huffed “it’s not like you intended to have annoyingly broad shoulders anyway,” you grumbled more to yourself, hoping he didn’t hear it. however, wonwoo heard your frustration over his shoulders and he couldn’t fight off the smile on his face. 

it was the first time he could openly admit to himself that you made him smile. it was also the first time you caught him smiling.

“oh, how adorable,” mingyu grinned upon hearing the umbrella-sharing story from wonwoo. “and you said you weren’t one for office romances,” he teased earning a glare from wonwoo. 

"because i'm not," wonwoo rolled his eyes "and i don't like her," he said almost defensively.

mingyu snorted "yeah, as if i haven't heard that line before." he said while setting up the living room for a movie night between him, wonu, jun, and chan. jun and ichan were running a little late as they were buying drinks.

"well, it's true," wonwoo crossed his arms "there's something about her that makes me feel like..." wonwoo trailed off, finding the right words to say.

"like?" mingyu sat on the couch, turning towards wonwoo— clearly invested.

"like... fuck, i don't know..."

mingyu lets out a dramatic gasp. "dude," he stares at wonwoo in complete awe. "you swore..."

"and?"

"you never swear unless you're completely frustrated," mingyu pointed out, a teasing look glimmering in his eyes. "you like yn, huh?!"

before wonwoo could even answer, mingyu's doorbell rang. saved by the bell, wonwoo thought.

"oh, this is not over, jeon wonwoo." mingyu said with a smirk, making wonwoo groan.

"seok, quit looking at me like that," you whined as you hugged the pillow tighter, placing your chin on top of the pillow.

"what?" seok grinned "it's nice to know that your beef with your coworker is slowly coming to an end."

"he was probably thinking how ridiculous i sounded for mentioning his shoulders," you grumbled. "why did i even mention his shoulders?!" you groaned.

seokmin couldn't help but laugh at how adorable you were being. "oh my sweet, ynnie," he cooed, ruffling your hair.

"here you go, yn," vernon said as he handed you a pint of ice cream. you were hosting a sleepover with seok, vern, and kwan. you three were waiting for seungkwan to arrive with the rest of the snacks.

you initially thought that you'd have the ice cream later but vernon thought that you might need it sooner than later. "thanks, nonie," you smiled at him.

"for what it's worth ynnie, he finally smiled at what you said." vernon said before taking a bite of his ice cream.

"and now yn is acting up because she thought he was cute," seokmin said teasingly, making vernon laugh.

wonwoo believes that the universe is out to get him. he kept complaining that you were always one step ahead of him and now, the universe is starting to retaliate.

"take yn," his manager tells him, making wonwoo clutch tighter on his notebook.

"sir?" wonwoo must be hearing things. there's no way that his manager actually asked him to take yn, right?

"take yn ln," his manager stresses your name. "didn't you two work on the last summit?"

"yes, but sir—"

"then it's final," his manager dismisses wonwoo "you two did a wonderful job with the last summit, i'd like you two to work on this year's professional development sessions."

"you two make a wonderful team," was the final thing that his manager said. without another word, wonwoo left the office feeling defeated. how can wonwoo be one step ahead of you if the universe is making him walk alongside you?

it was no surprise that wonwoo was everyone's office crush in the editorial department. people would often turn their heads whenever he walked by. this time was no exception.

the people on your floor knew the budding tension between you two. so when wonwoo was walking towards your desk with two coffees and a bag of dessert in hand, heads definitely turned and people were bound to talk.

"here," wonwoo hands you an iced americano and a bag of what you assumed was a slice of chocolate cake, catching you off-guard. your desk computer was showing the available job listings in the other departments. "are you thinking of transferring?" he asked as he leaned closer to your monitor— closer to you. his cologne was easily filling your nostrils. you hate that he smells good. how are you supposed to despise a man who smells good?! you thought. wow, the bar is literally on the floor.

"i'm keeping my options open," you answered as you crossed your arms, snapping yourself to reality. "it's not like you're making my life any easier here," you muttered the latter sentence, though you did hope that he heard it.

it's been a month since you and wonwoo started working on the company's professional development sessions. it's also been a month of torture. you've gotten frequent migraines that you started looking up if taking tylenol frequently will kill you. you didn't like the results.

wonwoo heard the latter sentence. while the month has been torture for you, wonwoo didn't mind your company at all. sure you were butting heads most of the time, but he noticed how much you were willing to compromise just to settle a conclusion between you two. wonwoo liked pushing your buttons. he found you cute even if you wanted to bite his head off.

"is this a peace offering?" you motioned to the coffee and the cake that was sitting on your desk.

"for what?" wonwoo smirked, playing coy. "you agreed to the after-session event, fair and square."

"bitch?!" you stared at him as if he's gone mad "if anything, you made it your life's mission to annoy me into agreeing that going to an escape room is what we need after overloading our brains from the sessions."

"yn ln, you know i can go to HR because you cursed at me, right?"

"jeon wonwoo, you know we're banned from that floor unless there's a serious allegation," you said, massaging your temples. "now humour me, what's with the coffee and cake?"

"oh, i stopped by at heaven's cloud café earlier and jeonghan practically insisted that you have these," wonwoo said casually, looking away.

you stared at him suspiciously, "thanks, i guess." you haven't spoken to jeonghan in a while since you've always been swamped with work. but maybe that's why you got free coffee and desserts?

before you could even ask wonwoo another question, he quickly left without even looking back at you. deciding to ignore it, you snapped a quick picture of the coffee and the cake, shooting jeonghan a quick text, "thanks for the coffee & cake, hannie! miss u! ♡"

"jeon wonwoo, is there a reason why yn sent me a text earlier, thanking me for the coffee and cake that i didn't give her?" jeonghan asked wonwoo, who was busy typing away on his laptop. wonwoo stopped at jeonghan's place after work as their other friends will be dropping by later as well.

"i don't know what you're talking about," wonwoo mumbled, not looking at han in the eye.

jeonghan was having none of it. "i'm texting yn that you gave those things to her," he threatened, pulling out his phone.

knowing jeonghan is probably going to commit to it, wonwoo sighed and threw his hands in defeat. "fine."

“and so the plot thickens,” jeonghan smirked, crossing his arms. “so is there a reason why?"

"she was having a rough day," wonwoo explained, closing his laptop. that report will be dealt with tomorrow. "i felt bad."

jeonghan raised an eyebrow at him. "i thought you didn't like her?"

"i don't."

"funny, because that's an odd way of expressing how you dislike her," jeonghan said, making wonwoo roll his eyes.

“i can at least recognize all the work she’s been doing in planning the pd session,” wonwoo replied, defensive.

jeonghan smirked because he knew. he knew that wonwoo was walking on a thin line. in fact, jeonghan was 100% sure that his friend has gone soft for you. “okay, whatever you say.”

“ynnie!” seungcheol calls your name as he spots you, busy choosing what kind of juice you are going to buy. you decided to stop by at the grocery to grab a couple of things for the fridge.

you gave him a small wave, smiling. seungcheol, however, was eager to give you a hug. you, cheol, and han shared a couple of classes back when you three were in university. you were always supportive of their endeavours that’s why cheol & han always had a soft spot for you— they considered you like a little sister that they always had to take care of.

“how was the cake from earlier? you know i’ve been taking a lot of baking lessons recently,” cheol said with a proud smile.

“oh, it was great, cheol!” you said sincerely “i sent jeonghan a text earlier, saying thanks.”

“thanks for what?”

“for the cake…?” you trailed off, a bit off-guard by the confusion plastered on seungcheol’s face.

“why would you thank jeonghan?” seungcheol asked, even more confused.

“jeonghan wasn’t there?”

cheol shook his head no. “unless jeonghan told wonwoo, but i assumed wonwoo bought it for you. i was teasing him about it too, since he doesn’t like chocolate that much.”

“ah,” was all you could say as you felt your cheeks burning, surprised by cheol’s sudden information. is that why jeonghan hasn't replied to your text at all?

cheol suddenly felt like he just triggered a bomb. oh, he fucked up. as if on cue, his phone started ringing. mingyu was calling. "okay, i'm heading off, ynnie."

you just nodded and waved goodbye, feeling confused. it was a good thing that you won't be seeing wonwoo during the weekend otherwise you would've gone mad.

heaven's cloud café was buzzing with people when you came in.

you spent a lot of time debating if you had to improvise how you would spend your sunday morning. you would usually stop by the heaven's cloud café and spend a good chunk of your time there— reading or chatting with jeonghan and seungcheol.

however, knowing that wonwoo might stop by at the cafe, it left you questioning if you wanted to derail your usual sunday routine.

and yet, your pride got the best of you. no matter how much you didn't want to see wonwoo, you weren't going to derail your sunday routine especially if it involved coffee.

although the café was usually busy on the weekends, today was unusually busy— you wondered if there was a special promotion taking place. jeonghan hasn't even acknowledged your presence yet as han is busy manning the till while also preparing the drinks. cheol is probably in the kitchen, preparing food.

you settled on the last empty table at the very back— dropping off your things, deciding to order a bit later once the line from the till calms down.

while you were busy scrolling on your phone, someone placed a tall glass of iced americano and a slice of strawberry cake on your table.

"you should try this, it's a house favourite," someone with a deep voice said. you looked up and saw jeon wonwoo with slightly messy hair, wearing your favourite black specs and a white button-up, smiling at you. fuck, he looks good. is hell officially frozen?

"are you perhaps a twin of jeon wonwoo?" you asked, completely boggled.

"yn, what the hell?" wonwoo laughs at your incredulous take, making you even more confused. why is this wonwoo variant laughing and smiling at you? most of all, why are they bringing you food when you haven't even ordered?! "what made you say that?"

you reached out your hand and poked his cheek, making him laugh. "are you really wonwoo from sector17 press?"

"yn, seriously, what makes you think that it's not me?"

"why are you so smiley all of a sudden," you cried, weirded out. "and why are you serving me food?"

"my, do you like it when i give you a hard time?" wonwoo said, teasingly "is that a kink of yours?"

"you're fucking weird, jeon wonwoo," you smacked his arm. "i've never met the weekend version of wonwoo and i don't think i like it," you cried quietly to yourself.

"cute," wonwoo says quietly, still smiling at you. "i'll talk to you later, okay? i'm helping cheol and han for the day and i feel like they'll beat my ass if they see me slacking off." wonwoo gently ruffled your hair and walked away, leaving you flabbergasted.

you felt that familiar feeling in the pit of your stomach. oh god, what the fuck just happened?

the friday night that jeonghan found out that wonwoo used jeonghan’s good name to protect his image, was the same night that seungcheol bumped into you at the grocery store.

drinks were getting passed rather at a rapid speed. for them, this night was a gem among other nights. most of jeonghan’s friends were at his place, enjoying the night away.

“ya, wonwoo,” cheol suddenly calls wonwoo, who was barely drinking— as per cheol’s opinion. “i thought tonight was the night that you were going to get loose.”

wonwoo chuckled, “i’m pacing myself.”

jeonghan snorted. “cheol, you’re talking to the guy who still cannot admit his high school crush on our ynnie.”

this earned a couple of laughs from the group, mainly from mingyu and jun.

“yoon jeonghan, just because you’re in a happy relationship—” wonwoo threw a balled up napkin at him, obviously not knowing how to reply.

“oh, wons, that reminds me…” cheol started rubbing the back of his head “i told yn that it was you who gave her the food and not jeonghan.”

as soon as the words left cheol’s mouth, it’s as if wonwoo felt annoyingly sober. he downed the tall shot of bacardi that was supposed to be mingyu’s shot.

“i don’t get why you’re tiptoeing around your feelings for her,” mingyu pointed out, filling the shot glass again. “it’s not like there’s a company policy against dating your coworkers.”

“isn’t there?” joshua asked. wonwoo shook his head no. “lucky bastard.” shua muttered, taking mingyu’s shot.

“you guys, what’s the point of doing rounds when you’re taking the shots as you please?” mingyu whines.

“i thought you didn’t like yn?” jun asked wonwoo, taking a bite of the kimchi jeon. “or is that like a weird defence mechanism against your feelings?”

"oh please," mingyu rolled his eyes "wonwoo had a huge crush on yn ever since our uni days," he pointed out, prompting wonwoo to hit him.

"weren't you two in like a school publication together?" jeonghan asked, taking the shot from mingyu.

"oh, right! you had like a one-sided beef with yn," jun's eyes lit up briefly, then proceeded to smirk at wonwoo, "ya! is that how you show your affection?"

"obviously not," cheol grins "our wonwoo is the type to show his affection through actions, not words."

"what are the chances that they'd end up working under the same company though," joshua commented with a fond smile.

"and in the same department too," jeonghan added.

wonwoo groans, before taking a shot, "i hate all of you."

"you two have a deep history, have you two never talked?" joshua asked, now invested.

wonwoo shakes his head, "we only talk about work."

"if they talk about work," mingyu laughs, "all they do is argue."

"how do you know all of this, gyu?" cheol asked in disbelief, laughing, "you work at a different company."

"i work with seokmin," mingyu replied "and seok likes to tell stories about yn."

"ya, didn't we invite him tonight?" cheol suddenly remembers, looking at his phone to check his message thread with seok.

"he's probably with yn," wonwoo muttered before taking another shot. this gets attention from the rest of the group— a series of teasing smirks and playful looks being exchanged.

like a kid on christmas morning, a bright smile appears on mingyu's face. "won, are you perhaps jealous?" he teased, with the new-found information.

wonwoo scoffed but didn't answer the question. wonwoo swore he wasn't the jealous type. but for some reason, he can't get over the fact that his friend was closer to you.

wonwoo knew that there was nothing going on with you and seok.

however, seok was your person, wonwoo would always think. you felt happier around seok. if wonwoo didn't know any better, he would assume that you liked seok. maybe she does, wonwoo can't help but think.

"you know they're just friends, right?" mingyu reminded wonwoo.

wonwoo doesn't say anything. he was just waiting for his friends to butt into the conversation. wonwoo's eyes caught jeonghan's. jeonghan smiles, that mischievous smile of his, leaving wonwoo confused.

"won, do you wanna know who she likes?" jeonghan instigates, leaning forward.

wonwoo waits, does he really wanna know?

jeonghan smiles, then says "you."

wonwoo didn't believe in signs— for him, every little decision a person makes is pulled by the desired outcome. however, you were his only exception.

"if ynnie stops by at the café on sunday, will you finally talk to her like civilized beings?" jeonghan's words rang loudly in wonwoo's ear.

"i don't believe in signs," wonwoo states simply.

"and you can't make an exception for yn?" jeonghan knew how to play the game. he's just waiting for wonwoo to swallow his pride and address his suppressed feelings.

"maybe." wonwoo answers, making jeonghan smile mischievously. and so, it begins, jeonghan thinks.

it was ridiculous— waiting for something to happen when he could've just started a conversation with you. but it's so hard when it's you. god, it's so hard for wonwoo when it's you because you make him feel things that he thought were only exaggerated by films.

wonwoo didn't know if jeonghan's revelation about you was a lie, but he'd be lying if he said that it didn't affect him— because it did. it felt like he was back in high school and he's not sure if that's something he liked.

jeonghan and seungcheol were very much aware of your routine. every now and then, you would visit the café every sunday— even during the morning rush. they were most definitely aware of what's waiting for you and wonwoo.

the two owners had tasked wonwoo to help with serving the orders as more people flooded the café. "make yourself useful while you wait for your girlfriend!" was all jeonghan said as he handed wonwoo an apron.

and so when you entered the café, wonwoo gathered all his strength to talk to you casually, even if it sent him through an overdrive.

while you were walking towards the washroom, you bumped into jeonghan who was grinning at you. you knew that man long enough to know that he's hiding something when he's smiling like that.

"ya," you pulled jeonghan to the side. "what are you hiding?"

"what do you mean?" han answers, blinking at you innocently.

"why is wonwoo being nice and smiley," you asked him with a huff, crossing your arms. wonwoo being smiley was something you didn't know would affect you this bad. "he's being too cute for my liking," you muttered the latter part.

jeonghan laughs at your dilemma. "isn't that what you wanted?"

"what do you mean—" you were confused with jeonghan's comment until it dawned on you. you remembered the time you went out for drinks with jeonghan and seungkwan. "yoon jeonghan!" you slapped his arm, making him yelp but he was still laughing.

"what?" he looks at you, acting confused as he rubs his arm. "i'm being supportive here!"

"you promised me you wouldn't tell him," you pouted.

"oh please, he was jealous of seok, i had to throw him something."

"so you told wonwoo about the time i got drunk with you and professed my undying feelings for him instead?!"

"no," jeonghan replies. his eyes moved past yours, looking past your shoulders, and smiled. "but i think you already did." jeonghan says, patting your shoulder before he left.

wonwoo was sitting across from you with a smile on his face. you've never seen this man smile at you this much, it was starting to freak you out.

"don't look at me like that," you grumbled, glaring at wonwoo.

"i can't help it," he looks at you almost tenderly. "you look adorable even when you're sulking like that."

you felt the familiar sensation in your stomach. how can jeon wonwoo just say things like these to you? does he not care about your well-being?! how you'd feel?

"that was a long time ago, by the way," you said in defence— as if the damage hadn't been done. wonwoo waits for you to continue your sentence. "you know, me having a crush on you," you continued, your tone getting quieter after each word.

"i'm sorry, what was that?" wonwoo leans closer, as if he didn't hear what you just said. you knew he was just teasing you as you noticed that he was trying to fight off a smirk.

"i don't like you, jeon wonwoo," you whispered, prompting wonwoo to only focus on your lips.

"that's too bad because," wonwoo paused briefly and leaned even more, "i like you."

his face was dangerously close to yours— wonwoo didn't care if half of his body was practically hovering over the table. he wanted to lean closer to you.

you felt frozen in your place. a part of you wanted to lean back and smack him, but there's also a part of you that just wanted to grab his stupid face and kiss it.

"ya!" jeonghan suddenly appeared beside your table "if you two are going to make out in my café, can you move to cheol's office? i'm planning to keep this place family-friendly," jeonghan snickered.

maybe you should just kiss wonwoo and smack jeonghan instead.

hello hello friends! i wrote this while i was sick in bed & was high on buckley's flu meds, so this is v cheesy. i hope you are all well & healthy! ♡

[jooyeonsvape]

souls don’t meet by accident

jooyeon smut

w/c: 1.7k

warnings: very smutty, 18+ only, dry humping, fingering, suggestive language, drinking.

a/n: sorry it’s a little long at the beginning, i wanted to try building character development-ish. please enjoy and follow for more. i’ll be doing txt, svt, and more xdh soon!! if you’d like to see anything in specific, feel free to message!! also big thanks to @joocomics for helping me and being a complete angel 🫶

the body. the muscles. the long slick back blonde hair. the tattoos that cover his body.

every inch of your new neighbor makes your body warm inside, even if you were too shy to say anything to him.

the first time you laid eyes on him he was outside, shirtless, and sorting the recyclables in his trash. his tattoos took up both of his arms and some on his chest, though you couldn't make out what they were you were interested.

"[Y/N], will you stop stalking the neighbor, he's going to think we're freaks." your roommate says and shakes her head, then sitting next to you on the couch at your bay window when she noticed you weren't listening.

"but look at him... i think the only thing in his closet is sweatpants and i'm totally fine with that." you sigh out lovingly, resting a cheek on your arm.

"your last relationship was what?.... 6 months ago, you should be out there meeting new people." your roommate nags on, but you tune her out again, watching the man from across the street walk inside his house.

"okay, if i go out with you tonight will you stop sounding like my mother?" you ask and grab her hands while facing each other on the couch. "yes, and i'll buy all your drinks if you let me give you a makeover." your eyebrows raised then you look down at your long t-shirt and sweats. "okay deal."

after hours of getting ready, it was already dark and the two of you head out to the local bar she usually attends.

you look down at your outfit, blushing a bit, embarrassed because she put you in a tight strapless crop top paired with a plaid skirt and biker boots. “you don’t think this outfit is trying too hard?” you ask her and she analyzes you once more before you enter the bar. “no, you look perfect, now, when we go in i’ll introduce you to some nice guys.”

the regret soon filled your body once you walk through the doors, eyes from all around are looking straight at you. considering no one was dressed up this much, you became an eye sore and your roommate noticed your insecurities. “2 tequilas please.” she basically screamed, trying to speak louder than the music.

“alright everyone, next up is a local underground singer by the name of lee jooyeon.” a man over the mic on stage welcomed.

you turn your attention to the stage when you hear soft strums of a guitar playing and a beautiful voice singing ‘creep’ by radiohead. it was one of your favorite songs so you were mesmerized how he sang every key perfectly.

“lee jooyeon..” you whisper to yourself then your eyes squint to see better. “oh my god, that’s the neighbor.” you nudge your friend and she turns to face the stage, “let’s get closer to make sure.” the two of you find a table that was close enough to see him, but not close enough for him to see you and both confirm it was definitely jooyeon when you see the familiar tattoos littering his arms.

“can he be any more dreamy?” you ask, looking doe eyed at him on stage, not realizing a man sat next to you at the table, “hey pretty.” he smirks with confidence and you just ignore him, eyes stuck on jooyeon. he clears his throat and says it louder, “hey pretty!!” at that moment jooyeon finished the song and the whole bar heard the man next to you yelling.

your face got red when you hear laughs, then look up at the stage where jooyeon has his eyebrow raised with a smirk. the man was also embarrassed, walking away from your roommate and you.

“i’m leaving,” you mumble to your roommate but she grabs your wrist, “your crush is here and you’re leaving? you didn’t even know his name until tonight, i call that progress.” she was right so you sit back down, looking around to keep an eye out for jooyeon.

the tequila finally caught up with you after 4 more shots and you go to the dance floor when an up beat song starts playing, dancing by yourself with no care in the world. the promise your roommate made about not leaving your side was out the window, she was currently making out with a random man in a booth and you knew she was taking him home.

all thoughts about jooyeon or socializing weren’t a care to you right now, your main priority was dancing with a tequila in your hand and feeling the music. “hey pretty…” your face scrunched when you hear the familiar words and turn around to tell the man to leave you alone but you didn’t realize how close he was to you.

the feeling of breath on your neck made your body jolt and when your eyes met, it wasn’t the random guy trying to hit on you. it was jooyeon.

“may i dance with you?” he asks politely but before you could answer he held you by the hips, swaying to the music. “you’re-i’m- jooyeon.” was all you mustered out and he chuckles, pulling you closer. “i know who i am, who are you?” he smirks, taking a sip of the drink he had. “oh, my name is [Y/N].”

his head nods and his lips go close to your ear, “nice to meet you, you look really sexy in that outfit.” your face turns plum red, which he noticed of course and you put your free hand on his moist neck. “you look really sexy with your shirt off.” you whisper back, the tequila giving you all the confidence. “how would you know?” jooyeon asks and you didn’t answer, grinding slowly on his imprint.

his head hangs back so his entire neck was exposed and it gives you room to kiss his adams apple. “we just met and i already like your style.” he mumbles in your ear, then leans down to give your lips a hard kiss.

it was euphoric to finally feel what jooyeon’s lips taste like and the moans escaping his mouth when you press your knee down on his growing dick through his pants. pulling away was hard, but you wanted to look in his eyes as you were dry humping him in front of everyone.

the lip bite he did from trying not to moan was sexier than him actually making noises so you continue, looking down to see his cock outline. “you’re huge.” you mumble in his ear and he kisses your neck roughly. “should we take this somewhere else?” you nod and grab his hand, leading him towards an empty bathroom.

when the music was just background noise now you lock the door and turn to see his long frame in the light, walking towards you. “i can tell you’re excited too.” he says bluntly, the both of you looking down at the wet spot you left on his thigh.

a smile grows on your face and you start laughing, “feeling your big cock against my pussy made me wet, it’s natural.” within seconds he had you up against the wall by the neck and you hum slightly. “are you going to fuck me now?” you ask in a rhetorical manner, hearing him grunt lowly.

“get on the sink counter.” he orders without question, watching you climb up. “let me see what panties you’re wearing.” he mumbles, pulling off your skirt to see nothing underneath. “oh you came to the bar expecting to be fucked huh?” jooyeon asks, pulling your legs towards him so he could bend down and give your pussy a kiss.

“i was going to find the sexiest guy in the bar and let him fuck me until i lose vision.” you moan out when he starts sucking on your clit, a hand finding his hair so you had something to grip.

the way he works his tongue was like magic, he seems to know exactly where all your sweet spots are, and the more you moan, the rougher he is with his movements. “please fuck me jooyeon.” you’re becoming impatient and want to cum on his dick instead of in his mouth. “i thought you wanted the sexiest guy in the bar to fuck you baby,” he smirks and stands up, sliding two fingers immediately in your wetness.

“fuck the bar, you’re the sexiest guy i’ve ever seen.” you whimper when he starts pumping fast. “say it again.” he demands, his fingers never losing momentum. “you’re the sexiest guy jooyeon!” the words only made his fingers go faster, then adding a third. “again.” you scream out when he adds the third finger and he pushes them hard. “i said again.” “you’re the sexiest guy in the world.” you whimper out, a strange feeling in your gut approached and the smirk on his face scared you for what was about to happen.

three more pumps of his fingers you let out a blood curdling scream and he pulls all digits out, then fiercely rubs your clit. “good girl, you’re such a good girl.” he whispers in your ear out of breath and your hips jolt up, squirting on his hand.

you two sit there for a minute, him still slowly rubbing your clit. “i can’t believe that came out of me, i’ve never done that before.” you were pleased and surprised at how much was on the floor when you look down with your legs still spread.

“you can ask me to do that anytime you want, all i have to do is walk across the street. it’s better than just staring at me through your window.” jooyeon says with a confident laugh, helping you off the counter. “you knew? why didn’t you tell me?” you scoff, fixing your skirt so it wasnt at your waist anymore. “the same reason you didn’t tell me, it would’ve been better if we just pretended not to know each other. why else would i only come outside shirtless? i wanted to impress you.”

jooyeon gives you a kiss and you pout, looking at his still hard cock through his pants. “i didn’t get to please you though..” he wraps an around your shoulders and walks out of the bathroom, “you’ll have to come over tonight and make it up to me then.”

you can tell you’ll be having fun with jooyeon the entire night.

[mariacallous]

A new report by environmental groups lays out a case for banning deep sea mining—and explains why the real solution to humanity’s energy crisis might just be sitting in the trash.

Deep sea mining is the pursuit of rare, valuable minerals that lie undisturbed upon the ocean floor—metals like nickel, cobalt, lithium, and rare earth elements. These so-called critical minerals are instrumental in the manufacture of everything from electric vehicle batteries and MRI machines to laptops and disposable vape cartridges—including, crucially, much of what’s needed to transition away from fossil fuels. Political leaders and the companies eager to dredge up critical minerals from the seafloor tend to focus on the feel-good, climate-friendly uses of the minerals, like EV batteries and solar panels. They’ll proclaim that the metals on the deep seafloor are an abundant resource that could help usher in a new golden age of renewable energy technology.

But deep sea mining has also been roundly criticized by environmentalists and scientists, who caution that the practice (which has not yet kicked off in earnest) could create a uniquely terrible environmental travesty and annihilate one of the most remote and least understood ecosystems on the planet.

There has been a wave of backlash from environmentalists, scientists, and even comedians like John Oliver, who devoted a recent segment of Last Week Tonight to lambasting deep sea mining. Some companies that use these materials in their products—Volvo, Volkswagen, BMW, and Rivian among them—have come out against deep sea mining and pledged not to use any metals that come from those abyssal operations. (Some prominent companies have done the exact opposite; last week, Tesla shareholders voted against a moratorium on using minerals sourced from deep sea mining.)

Even if you can wave away that ecological threat, mining the sea might simply be wholly unnecessary if the goal is to bring about a new era of global renewable energy. A new report, aptly titled “We Don’t Need Deep-Sea Mining,” aims to lay out why.

The report is a collaboration between the advocacy group US PIRG, Environment America Policy Center, and the nonprofit think tank Frontier Group. Nathan Proctor, senior director of the Campaign for the Right to Repair at PIRG and one of the authors of the new report, says the solution to sourcing these materials should be blindingly obvious. There are critical minerals all around us that don’t require diving deep into the sea. You’re probably holding some right now—they’re in nearly all our devices, including the billions of pounds of them sitting in the dump.

The secret to saving the deep sea, Proctor says, is to prioritize systems that focus on the materials we already have—establishing right to repair laws, improving recycling capabilities, and rethinking how we use tech after the end of its useful life cycle. These are all systems we have in place now that don’t require tearing up new lands thousands of feet below the ocean.

“We don't need to mine the deep sea,” Proctor reiterates. “It's about the dumbest way to get these materials. There's way better ways to address the needs for those metals like cobalt, nickel, copper, and the rest.”

Into the Abyss

Schemes for delving into the deep ocean have been on the boards for years. While the practice is not currently underway, mining companies are getting ready to dive in as soon as they can.

In January 2024, the Norwegian Parliament opened up its waters to companies looking to mine resources. The Metals Company is a Canadian mining operation that has been at the forefront of attempts to mine in the Pacific Ocean’s Clarion-Clipperton Zone (CCZ)—an area of seabed that spans 3,100 miles between Mexico and Hawaii.

The proposed mining in the CCZ has gotten the most attention lately because the Metals Company secured rights to access key areas of the CCZ for mining in 2022, and its efforts are ramping up. The process involves gathering critical minerals from small rock-like formations called polymetallic nodules. Billions of these nodules rest along the seabed, seemingly sitting there ripe for the taking (if you can get down to them). The plan—one put forth by several mining companies, anyway—is to scrape the ocean floor with deep sea trawling systems and bring these nodules to the surface, where they can be broken down to extract the shiny special metals inside. Environmentalists say this poses a host of ecological problems for everything that lives in the vicinity.

Gerard Barron, the CEO of the Metals Company, contends that his efforts are misunderstood by activists and the media (especially, say, John Oliver).

“We're committed to circularity,” Barron says. “We have to drive towards circularity. We have to stop extracting from our planet. But the question is, how can you recycle what you don’t have?”

Both Barron and the authors of the activist report acknowledge that there aren’t perfect means of resource extraction anywhere—and there’s always going to be some environmental toll. Barron argues that it is better for this toll to play out in one of the most remote parts of the ocean.

“No matter what, you will be disrupting an ecosystem,” says Kelsey Lamp, ocean campaign director with the Environment America Research and Policy Center and an author of the report. “This is an ecosystem that evolved over millions of years without light, without human noise, and with incredibly clear water. If you disrupt it, the likelihood of it coming back is pretty low.”

For many of the life-forms down in the great deep, the nodules are the ecosystem. Removing the nodules from the seabed would remove all the life attached to them.

“This is a very disruptive process with ecosystems that may never recover,” says Tony Dutzik, associate director and senior policy analyst at the nonprofit think tank Frontier Group and another author of the report. “This is a great wilderness that is linked to the health of the ocean at large and that has wonders that we’re barely even beginning to recognize what they are.”

Barron counters that the life in the abyssal zone is less abundant than in an ecosystem like rainforests in Indonesia, where a great deal of nickel mines operate—although scientists discovered 5,000 new species in the CCZ in 2023 alone. He considers that the lesser of two evils.

“At the end of the day, it's not that easy,” You can't just say no to something. If you say no to this, you're saying yes to something else.”

The Circular Economy

Barron and others make the case that this ecosystem disruption is the only way to access the minerals needed to fuel the clean-tech revolution, and is therefore worth the cost in the long run. But Proctor and the others behind the report aren't convinced. They say that without fully investing in a circular economy that thinks more carefully about the resources we use, we will continue to burn through the minerals needed for renewable tech the same way we've burned through fossil fuels.

“I just had this initial reaction when I heard about deep sea mining,” Proctor says. “Like, ‘Oh, really? You want to strip mine the ocean floor to build electronic devices that manufacturers say we should all throw away?’”

While mining companies may wax poetic about using critical minerals for building clean tech, there's no guarantee that's where the minerals will actually wind up. They are also commonly used in much more consumer-facing devices, like phones, laptops, headphones, and those aforementioned disposable vape cartridges. Many of these devices are not designed to be long lasting, or repairable. In many cases, big companies like Apple and Microsoft have actively lobbied to make repairing their devices more difficult, all but guaranteeing more of them will end up in the landfill.

“I spend every day throwing my hands up in frustration by just how much disposable, unfixable, ridiculous electronics are being shoveled on people with active measures to prevent them from being able to reuse them,” Proctor says. “If these are really critical materials, why are they ending up in stuff that we're told is instantly trash?”

The report aims to position critical minerals in products and e-waste as an “abundant domestic resource.” The way to tap into that is to recommit to the old mantra of reduce, reuse, recycle—with a couple of additions. The report adds the concept of repairing and reimagining products to the list, calling them the five Rs. It calls for making active efforts to extend product lifetimes and invest in “second life” opportunities for tech like solar panels and battery recycling that have reached the end of their useful lifespan. (EV batteries used to be difficult to recycle, but more cutting-edge battery materials can often work just as well as new ones, if you recycle them right.)

Treasures in the Trash

The problem is thinking of these deep sea rocks in the same framework of fossil fuels. What may seem like an abundant resource now is going to feel much more finite later.

“There is a little bit of the irony, right, that we think it's easier to go out and mine and potentially destroy one of the most mysterious remote wildernesses left on this planet just to get more of the metals we're throwing in the trash every day,” Lamp says.

And in the trash is where the resources remain. Electronics manufacturing is growing five times faster than e-waste recycling, so without investment to disassemble those products for their critical bits, all the metals will go to waste. Like deep sea mining, the infrastructure needed to make this a worthwhile path forward will be tremendous, but committing to it means sourcing critical minerals from places nearby, and reducing some waste in the process.

Barron says he isn't convinced these efforts will be enough. “We need to do all of that,” Barron says, “You know, it's not one or the other. We have to do all of that, but what we have to do is slow down destroying those tropical rainforests.” He adds, “If you take a vote against ocean metals, it is a vote for something else. And that something else is what we’ve got right now.”

Proctor argues that commonsense measures, implemented broadly and forcefully across society to further the goal of creating a circular economy, including energy transition minerals, will ultimately reduce the need for all forms of extraction, including land and deep-sea mining.

“We built this system that knows how to do one thing, which is take stuff out of the earth, put it into products and sell them, and then plug our ears and forget that they exist,” Proctor says. “That’s not the reality we live in. The sooner that we can disentangle that kind of paradigm from the way we think about consumption and industrial policy the better, because we're going to kill everybody with that kind of thinking.”

Just like mining the deep sea, investing in a circular economy is not going to be an easy task. There is an allure of deep sea mining when it is presented as a one-stop shop for all the materials needed for the great energy transition. But as the authors of the report contend, the idea of exploiting a vast deposit of resources is the same relationship society has had with fossil fuels—they’re seemingly abundant resources ripe for the picking, but also they are ultimately finite.

“If we treat these things as disposable, as we have, we’re going to need to continually refill that bucket,” Dutzik says. “If we can build an economy in which we’re getting the most out of every bit of what we mine, reusing things when we can, and then recycling the material at the end of their lives, we can get off of that infinite extraction treadmill that we’ve been on for a really long time.”

[thedo0zyslider]

Earth - 700 Words

Earth Day is practically the only holiday, or holiday adjacent event, that Shadow cares about to any extreme degree. Even Christmas doesn’t get him this passionate, and the hedgehog is known to quite like the aesthetics and general vibe of the holiday season. His teammates know why Earth Day gets such a rise out of Shadow, or course, but they don’t mention it. Discussing the subject when Shadow doesn’t bring it up first feels a little…rude. And like it would be a painful reminder. So, instead of saying anything, Rouge and Omega agree to assist him in his Earth Day plans when they’re asked; knowing how much personal importance the day has to their friend. Shadow allows a rare, soft smile to cross his face, and says he appreciates it; more than they will ever know. A week later, they’re heading out of the apartment geared up and ready to clean the planet. Day five of @teamdarkweek

Earth Day is practically the only holiday, or holiday adjacent event, that Shadow cares about to any extreme degree. Even Christmas doesn’t get him this passionate, and the hedgehog is known to quite like the aesthetics and general vibe of the holiday season. His teammates know why Earth Day gets such a rise out of Shadow, or course, but they don’t mention it. Discussing the subject when Shadow doesn’t bring it up first feels a little…rude. And like it would be a painful reminder.

So, instead of saying anything, Rouge and Omega agree to assist him in his Earth Day plans when they’re asked; knowing how much personal importance the day has to their friend. Shadow allows a rare, soft smile to cross his face, and says he appreciates it; more than they will ever know. 

A week later, they’re heading out of the apartment geared up and ready to clean the planet.

The three of them decide to celebrate Earth Day by cleaning up the local park, and any other grassy area that happens to be dotted around the city. The city has a fairly large park, one that gets a lot of visitors. Even with everyone else running around to clean the place, there will still be a decent amount of trash to clean up. Rouge suggests they should start in the areas of the park that are usually less populated, as people will most likely be looking at, say, the playground area and other densely populated areas for trash. Shadow agrees with a nod, and starts leading them down the trails.

As they pick up trash they split the litter into different, decently large bags; one for recyclables, and the other for non-recyclables. The first bag will be taken to the recycling center at the end of the day. The rest will be thrown in that dumpster behind their apartment. Occasionally, Rouge will fly up a bit, spotting for any extra trash they may have missed. It turns out, in the areas of the park with more trees, it’s really easy to miss the smaller pieces of junk. Shadow stays happily on the ground the whole time, picking up litter with an extreme determination. So much so it’s almost comical to watch.

Omega enjoys the work more than expected, seemingly finding it to be fun. When Rouge askes, he says he enjoys crushing meaningless trash between his claws. Shadow tells him to please save the crushing for the non-recyclables. Omega does not respond. He does seem to crush less trash though, inspecting each item before he decides what to do with it; respecting Shadow’s wishes in his own, killer robot way.

By the time they’re done, the park is absolutely spotless. They combed more than just the back trails and unused areas of course, Shadow not wanting to leave until the whole park had been scrubbed over. (When the hedgehog really put his mind to something like this, it was going to get done entirely or it wasn’t going to get done at all.) And the work, while physically exhausting, is very rewarding; the fruits of their labor is visible whenever they have to backtrack or cross through a previously cleaned area to reach the next. Shadow even stays in an unusually high mood for the majority of the day, even when his legs must be starting to ache.

“IS THE PARK TO YOUR REQUIREMENTS?” Omega asks, a tired Rouge and Shadow resting atop his shoulders. He carries their bags full of litter and litter grabbers in his hands, heading back towards the park entrance. His teammates are too worn out from a day of nonstop movement to do anything but use him as transportation. Omega has never been more glad he doesn’t have stupid meatbag muscles, and will never feel such fatigue.

“Yes, it is.” Shadow says, that smile returning to his face again. But only for a moment. Rouge, catching a glimpse of it, can’t help the grin that stretches across her own face. Yeah, sure, her legs hurt like hell and she definitely should not have worn her heels for this, but it was all worth it to see Shadow looking like that.

[raisingcain7433]

Incorrect Quotes

Harry: Guys, there’s a monster under my bed and it’s really ugly. Valkyrie, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.

Valkyrie: I refuse to apologize for being weird or off-putting. That’s actually your problem. I’m having a fantastic time!

Harry: WHY DID YOU KILL HIM?! HE COULD HAVE HAD HOPES AND DREAMS, HE COULD HAVE HAD A FAMILY!!! Valkyrie: Harry- Valkyrie: It- it was just an ant-

Valkyrie: I eat cheerios because they’re heart healthy. Valkyrie: And my heart has been severely damaged, so Militsa, if you’re out there—

Harry: I wanna be a knight! Valkyrie, a knight: What the fuck do you want this shit for? I kill people, all right? Their blood is on my hands! Every night, when I go to sleep, I see their FUCKING faces staring at me! Their families weep, and I FEEL NOTHING! I’M DEAD INSIDE! Harry: Man, I want some of that in my life!

Valkyrie: Do you want some tea? Fletcher: What are the options? Valkyrie: Yes or no.

Harry: Do you feel any better? Valkyrie: I feel much better now that you here with me. Fletcher walks in Valkyrie: I feel half better.

Fletcher: I’m so excited! Valkyrie: We’re gonna have the best costumes, get the most candy… Fletcher: And have the biggest stomach aches ever! Valkyrie: Yeah!

Fletcher: What do you three have to say for yourself? Nefarian: Skulduggery: Valkyrie: Oops?

Valkyrie: What’s wrong? Harry: I have to write a whole paragraph for school. Valkyrie: That’s not so bad; I write entire books. Harry: Yeah, but this has to be good.

Nefarian: Dude, I will never forgive Craigslist for banning me after I wrote a post seeking a sworn nemesis. Whoever reported that is obviously my nemesis but I was so pissed.

Skulduggery: Just trust me. Have I ever put you in an unsafe or uncomfortable situation? Fletcher: All the time. Skulduggery: Then you should be used to it by now.

Harry: Last night I found out Valkyrie is a sleep talker. Skulduggery: Oh, really? Harry: "The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell." Right. In. My. Ear. At 3am.

Nefarian: cooking Fletcher: kicks down door Fletcher: grabs knife from Nefarian's hand Fletcher: WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR? Nefarian: Nefarian: What. Harry: He's trying to tell you he wants to cook.

Nefarian: Wow, left handed AND British? You really are an illusion.

Fletcher: How do Valkyrie and Harry usually get out of these messes? Skulduggery: They don't. They just make a bigger mess that cancels the first one out.

Nefarian: Help! I’m drowning! Valkyrie: Calm down. We’re only in six feet of water! Nefarian: NOT ALL OF US ARE TALL!

Skulduggery: Come on, you need to go to bed. Harry Snuffles says that I can stay up as long as I want. And that you need to die! Skulduggery: … Skulduggery: What the hell, Sirius—

Skulduggery: So what’s the plan? Harry: I don’t know. You’re smart, points at Valkyrie they’re mean, come up with something.

Skulduggery: I dunno if I'm ready to process the ramifications of this bullshit.

Harry: So anyways have y'all seen Skulduggery? Valkyrie: I think they went in Nefarian's room 'studying'. Fletcher: Doubt that. I heard groans there. Meanwhile in Nefarian's room Skulduggery & Nefarian, fighting:

Harry, looking at a selfie of Valkyrie’s: I hate this photo. Valkyrie: I’m cute as fuck in that photo! I’m smiling kindly. Harry: You’re not smiling kindly; you look like you’re up to something. Valkyrie: Up to kindness.

Nefarian: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.

Valkyrie: Stands in trash can. Skulduggery: Valkyrie, not again! You're not trash, you're at least recycling!

Valkyrie: Nefarian always accuses me of having a favourite but that’s not true. Valkyrie: I love Harry and all the not-Harrys equally.

Skulduggery, at the slightest provocation: I came into this earth screaming and covered in someone else's blood and and I'm not afraid to leave the same way.

Fletcher: Nefarian, you need to react when people cry! Nefarian: I did. I rolled my eyes.

Nefarian, shooing Skulduggery away: Can you go be depressed over there? You’re bumming out my whole area.

Nefarian: It smells like henway in here. Skulduggery: Harry: Skulduggery. Harry, forcefully: Doesn't it smell like henway in here? Skulduggery: sigh Skulduggery: What's a henway? Nefarian: OH ABOUT TEN POUNDS!

Valkyrie: I think I need a hug… Fletcher: Good thing I'm hug shaped! 45 minutes later Valkyrie: You… you can let go now. Fletcher: No, I absolutely cannot.

Valkyrie: Fletcher won’t wake up, what do I do? Nefarian: Did you try kicking him? Valkyrie: Yes. Nefarian: I’m out of ideas.

[pbandjesse]

Today was a long day. But I had fun. And thankfully I didn't feel sick. I am tired but I'm doing a lot better then yesterday.

I slept okay. I changed blankets and I think that helped. But there was a lot of noise outside again. The recycling truck came at like 6am?? And it felt like it was just parked out front of our house and it was so loud. Not amazing.

But I did fall back asleep. And was able to sleep until 7.

When I woke up James was sitting at our desk and they came over and gave me a hug and it was so nice. We talked about how weird it was that the trash truck came so early. And then I went to get ready.

I wore my short overalls today because I didn't realize how chilly it was going to be this morning. But I did wear knee socks and a sweatshirt (I changed into a fleece when I got to camp) and was pretty comfortable overall.

Other drivers stressed me out hardcore. After I left the house, giving James a kiss goodbye, I got in the car and took my time getting ready to go.

It's always tough turning out of our street. I waited my turn and I was up next and the person behind me pulled around me!!!! It was so dangerous and so incredibly entitled. And worse we would end up next to each other at every single light for the next few miles. And I was so fucking mad but also trying to not look at them because I was just so angry. I just wanted to get to the highway and be away from them because I was shaking I was so mad and also didn't want to feel like that!! I hate feeling so deregulated that early in the day.

The rest of the drive was fine. And I got to camp and went right to art to collect my materials. And decided to drive them over to the trading post where I would be leading the program. And eventually went to the office to have breakfast and chill.

Everyone was supposed to come through at 930. I took a walk over to the lodge to move the table carts since it is probably not the best idea to move the big tables myself. It's hard to balance what I should and shouldnt do these days. But it felt like it wouldn't be a good idea.

While I was over there I noticed that the stove top looked like it was on? But it was actually the pilot lights being very very tall? So I called Heather for her opinion and she told me to check with Joe. Who eventually would tell me they got taller after it was serviced this summer but it seems wrong to me. But he knows better then I would so I left that and walked back to the office to sit with Heather.

Her birthday was yesterday and she said she had a really nice weekend celebrating. We talked about my job plans for the next year. Being available only as needed and not every day. Picking up different job shifts at the museum and other things I may focus on. She made me feel very supported.

And when we saw Gabe from indigo's car I would go over to the lodge to meet him.

I was frustrated that the other puhtok staff were still not there. They were supposed to be in at 930. They would actually roll up after 10. After me and Gabe had already finished setting up the 10 tables and 80 chairs. I was not happy with them at all. But I tried to be chill and told them what they would need to do. I tried to take charge because no one else was going to. Elizabeth is sick and Sarah is stuck in Tampa. Hopefully she's made it out by now, as she left at 2am. But with the traffic jams because of the storm I am pretty worried about her.

The day would go really well though. The kindergartners were so lovely. And I had a lot of fun hanging out with them.

We started in the amphitheater with their normal intro, warming up bodies and giving rules about being in charge of your body and not touching anyone else's. We were originally going to break into 5 groups but the teachers asked to do 3 so they could stay with their classes. Fair but man those are big groups. But it would go early because fine. I just had to talk really loud.

I took the biggest group. With 25 kids and 6 adults. And I think we had a lot of fun. We talked about mushrooms. We identified ferns and spice berries. We pet carpet moss and turkey tail mushrooms. We talked about how we identify dead trees and what termite damage looks like. And it was just really fun. I don't think it was my best hike every, mainly because I don't think the end of the line could always hear me. But I did my best and I had a lot of fun.

When we got to the Glen Gabe took over to lead a scavenger hunt. Half the group had to use the bathroom though so I would take them back up the hill to go to the latrines. And when we were done there we would walk back down to meet the group and then walked to lunch. And I tried to stop where we could to point things out. And then took them to the field. Where I decided to pass off leading the group to Gabe so I didn't have to backtrack to the office and have my lunch. He was chill about it. And I said I would see them after.

My lunch was okay. Could have used a sauce but was fine. I ate and watched some TikToks and sat on the porch. It was warm enough that I could leave my fleece. And would head to the trading post to do my project.

And it was really fun. I made some examples. A girl in a dress, a turtle, a kitty, some butterflies. And the kids were really into it! Not all of them understood exactly and we're mainly just flying down leaves. But overall it was a really positive experience and they looked like they had fun.

We would run out of glue right before 2. Which was perfect and let me clean up and head out. I needed to get out of there by 215 so that I could go home and change and charge my phone before going to the museum. I let Adam from indigo know. And would text Tony. I figured I set up everything, the others could put the tables and chairs away.

But apparently not? I heard back from Tony that he had to leave for his other job too. Okay. So I texted Nick. He was the one driving Tony. So I gave up. I let Elizabeth and Heather know I wasn't sure if things were cleaned up and apologized for that.

But I couldn't stay.

I would get home before 3. Which just gave me enough time to change and charge my phone. I took ten minutes to sit down and fixed my makeup. I felt kind of uncomfortable but I figured I just needed to eat.

My plan was to go to Jimmy John's before the museum. And Im so glad I did. It was exactly what I wanted. I got stuck in a little traffic but I got to the shopping center with plenty of time to eat there. I listened to a podcast and enjoyed my sandwich and felt a lot better.

And I would have a pretty excellent evening. It really would have only been improved by more people coming back to the galleries.

When I got there I gave James lots of hugs and went to set up a chase for printing. I chatted with Meril and Jesse. And later I would get my very own key for the museum and I'm thrilled about that.

But not a lot of people came back to the galleries. Even though they set up a bar back there! So I would chat with the bar tender for a while. I would have about ten or so people come back who were awesome though.

I had like a 15 minute conversation with a couple who were fascinated by everything. By the machines. By the prints and blocks. Even by me. I would print off some of our image blocks special for them. And told them all about my background and how I ended up here. How I get to work with my husband sometimes. And it was just really great. And when no one was back there I just printed or sat on my stool and chilled. Meril would come check on me but mainly I was just hanging out.

I did have one surprising conversation. A man came in and said his wife used to do letter press but she stopped when she was pregnant because she couldn't touch the lead. What???! This was not something I had considered at all. Should I not be in this room?? Like I'm careful, I wash my hands after. I don't put things in my mouth. But I guess the whole room is technically contaminated. I texted James. And they also become concerned. So I would send a message to my OB office to see what they think.

At 7 I would clean up. And hung out talking to Meril about my hopes for my job over the next year. Very similar to my conversation with Heather. And Meril has such similar energy and makes me feel so listened to. I'm really glad we get to work in this department together, she's really great.

She would run over to their office to bring me my new front door key. She made a big show of giving it to me which was super sweet. And soon I was heading out. See you guys in a few days.

I got stuck in the parking lot because people were confused about where the road was. But it was okay. I got out of there. I almost forgot the groceries James bought and left in the fridge for me to bring home but I didn't forget. And I asked James to please have cream cheese wontons ready for me when I got home.

Traffic was bad again and other drivers were terrible. On our block again!! When someone passed around me when I was about to turn into the alley. They are so lucky I wasn't making a quick turn because that was insane and could have been so bad. I had to take a moment to collect myself.

But I parked and came inside and was super happy to see Sweetp and James. We hugged. Then we picked up Sweetp and hugged with him between us and he hated that. James showed me that the other set of curtains came and they would put those up. I'm very pleased about that.

I had my wontons. And came upstairs to sip water. I would eventually go back down to tell James my fears and thoughts about the hurricane. And how it brings up my fears about having to evacuate and what I might grab and take with us. How I want to get a travel container for Crabcake, like we have one for Sweetp. We should have a way to transport everyone in an emergency. It's important.

But now I'm back in bed. Finishing this post. I'm going to take a shower and get ready for bed. Tomorrow I am probably staying home. I told Heather to let me know if I'm needed because if not I have things I would like to work on here. Specifically I want to make more plushies. I haven't made new ones in months and my supplies are low. So wish me luck with that. I hope I have motivation tomorrow.

I also hope you all have a good evening. Sleep well and be safe. Goodnight!!

[victorluvsalice]

Welcome back to the Chill Valicer Save, where we have reached Fall Friday! And the gang going out to yet another world to peddle their Van Liddelton Snacks. :) Let's see how that went for them –

-->Started with everyone where I’d left them on Saturday – Alice sleeping, Victor working on his new song, Smiler editing their latest SimsTube video (“Karaoke Til Spooky,” the singing video they were working on when they got interrupted by the house making weird noises), and Marm playing chess while his durability slowly degraded. I had Smiler finish their edits on the video (just had to add some fancy transitions), hype it up to their followers, then upload it, while I sent Marm out to feed Toothy the cowplant before anybody got any ideas about eating the cake tongue –

And then the game informed me “hey, pop-up holiday today, it’s Night On The Town” by flashing that little “there’s something new on the calendar” light on the, well, calendar. XD I made a mental note of that for later and sent Smiler down to meet Marm once Toothy was fed and give him a tune-up so he didn’t suffer any catastrophic explosions –

-->And then I looked over at the wind farm and was like “is every fucking turbine broken AGAIN?!” *shakehead* I promptly sent Smiler and Marm over to go repair them (as Victor was still busy with his song) – then remembered “oh wait, Marm’s ready to get an enhancement level – I should have Smiler make a mechanism so they can upgrade him” and sent Smiler to the robotics bench to do that instead while Marm kept repairing. Because hey, he does need to learn some skills, and Handiness is always a good one! I’d planned for him to get them all while I pushed Victor to complete his song –

But then, midway through Marm’s repair efforts, I realized that poor Victor really had to go to the bathroom. So I reluctantly stopped progress on his classical piece and let him use the toilet...then, since he was up already, had him cast Repairio on a handful of the turbines (and one busted water collector) to speed up the repair process once he was done washing his hands. Because I wanted that damn wind farm working again FASTER, damn it. (Seriously, why do the turbines break so often?? It’s annoying.)

-->Anyway – with all the water collectors and wind turbines back in functional condition, I had Victor go kick a creepy doll by the laundry nook, then prepared to have him start the laundry before heading into the greenhouse...but before I could, I noticed a few things. Namely, that the minifridge in the greenhouse was broken (thanks to the angry gnomes from Harvestfest); both fridges were stinking (thanks to the spoiled food within, as no one in this family has to eat often enough to take care of all the leftovers); AND that the back porch umbrella table was a scorched mess (thanks to a lightning strike I must have missed on Harvestfest). I thus had Victor Repairio the table and the minifridge, then clean the spoiled food out of the kitchen fridge before finally putting the laundry into the washer. With a bluebell to keep it floral fresh. Glad something is fresh in this house!

-->While all that was happening, Smiler finished up their mechanism, and Marm finished repairing the final turbines and scavenging all the trash piles for parts before sticking them in his inventory for later recycling. I thus had Smiler start properly enhancing Marm while Victor took a moment to Scruberoo the puddles in the greenhouse before going to rummage through the trash pile left behind by the gnomes. I myself took a moment to clear up the gnome population while he did that – moving one of the gnomes standing on a rock and the gnome sitting on a rock over to the corners of the greenhouse; sticking the ordinary gnome in the little wheelbarrow out front of the greenhouse; putting the reaper gnome and the alien gnome outside of Toothy’s pen; and just straight up selling the duplicate “standing on a rock” gnome and the two pool gnomes. So these little fuckers are all set until the next Harvestfest. :p

[sparklyeevee]

If you're nocturnal and live with diurnal people, I strongly recommend taking on as many kitchen chores as your time and capacities reasonably allow. Washing and putting away dishes, wiping down counters, prep the coffee maker/make sure Keurig is filled and doesn't have an old pod in/rinse out and fill the kettle, getting leftovers thrown away or put in the fridge, heck, maybe even making some lunches, if that's something any of your cohabitants would find helpful and be comfortable with. You do want to ask about lunches though, whereas the rest of this you can just quietly... do. Check levels of staple items (flour, sugar, tea and coffee, condiments, pet food, dish soap, trash bags, zip locs) and add them to wherever you keep track of groceries. Take out kitchen trash, recycling, and critically, if you have municipal food waste collection (or an outdoor compost bin), food waste. Check and replace fly paper and bug traps, if you have them.

This is mostly for if you don't have an out of the house job, but even if you do, cohabitants who have Feelings about you "sleeping all day" may have fewer of them if there's tangible evidence of your making yourself useful.

Tasks that would ideally get done every day can maybe actually get done every day, or at least more often.

No one has to be weird about whose "fault" dishes in the sink are if you just deal with them. And your housemate who can't stand there being anything dirty in the sink won't resentfully, noisily wash them while muttering imprecations at 7am when you're trying to sleep and they should be getting ready for work. And everyone else can just get their dishes to the kitchen and not have to feel weird about that either, which may reduce the amount of hiding six gross coffee mugs in their room going on.

Get you standing (if that's a thing you do), off the computer, and doing tasks with your hands for a little bit every day. Good time to listen to audiobooks, podcasts, or music too.

Now if you ask everyone to please check their rooms for forks, teaspoons, cereal bowls, whatever dish type you are somehow always out of, it's very obviously "so I can wash them" and maybe it feels less accusatory.

The kitchen is the first or second place most people go when they wake up, and if it's clean, tidy, and usable, they'll be happier and less stressed and then everyone is less cranky. Serious benefit for domestic tranquility.

You can gradually impose your own notions of how the dishes should be organized in the cupboards.

Stealth cleaning! You're like a brownie!

No one will "while you're at it" you, get up in your business, or try to turn just doing the damn dishes into "Oooh, let's do a big clean and reorganize the house!" if they're asleep.

Hey, you're in the kitchen anyway, may as well eat, hydrate, wash your water bottle, or whichever kitchen-based self care task you struggle with.

Doesn't always work, but claims that you're making "too much noise" by just existing while people are asleep may clear up if you're doing something of obvious benefit to the complainers.

You can deal with your own Gross Bedroom Mugs and Questionable Leftovers unobserved.

[ranger-rai]

Hey there, Campers!

Ranger Rai here, and thanks to @adventures-on-foster-island for the opportunity to talk to everyone about some important topics.

If you know me, you know that I speak and advocate for the wellbeing as well as closer relationships between Pokemon and People.

It’s a little hard for me to talk about one topic but I did want to discuss a little bit of life as a ranger and what you can do to help the many pokemon out there. 

I also thought I would give some advice for any new trainers on what you can do to be safe out there on your first journey.

Now every region is a bit different with their trainer assistance, but us here in Sinnoh go out of our way to make sure trainers and pokemon are well taken care of.

We as rangers are always out patrolling for anything unusual and potentially harmful to the environment. Whether it's trash, natural disasters or dangerous people, we are always on the lookout.

When it comes to natural disasters, the Field Rangers like myself are usually some of the first people out there, responding to any destruction that needs to be cleaned up or calls for help. It can be extremely dangerous, even for small emergencies which is why we treat all of them as serious.

Rock Slides, Snowstorms, and occasional floods are our most common threats, so we prepare pretty regularly for them, and we prepare sites and get people ready whenever the seasons come.

We help people a good bit, but we spend just as much time helping pokemon who get displaced and make sure their natural habitats are well preserved as well. After all they're just as vulnerable if not more so than people when danger comes.

Speaking of danger, we need to be on the lookout for Dangerous People when we do our jobs. I know a lot of cartoons and movies have made these “Bad Guys” out to be big and goofy or very easy to spot, but we don't get many people like that who are real bad guys.

The people we need to watch out for are much more sneaky and hidden than you would expect, a lot of them looking like everyday people. Most of these bad guys like to take pokemon and ship them to buyers in other regions where they wouldn't do well, usually as “exotic pets” with many of them using them for their abilities or other things.

While we are good at stopping a good amount of the people who pop up, there are sometimes really difficult to track down groups that we could easily miss, which is where our “Special Ops” rangers come in. 

Unlike Rangers like myself and my team back at my base, Special Ops rangers travel around quite a lot and almost never have pokeballs on them, instead they use incredibly special devices called “Capture Stylers”.

Only a small number of people can use them, but these tools are super impressive, because they can catch most pokemon quickly, but they are released almost immediately after helping.

Special Ops are very cool, and are known for infiltrating nefarious groups often and destroying them from the inside.

Now while we usually will deal with groups like this, you all can be extremely helpful to pokemon by doing some simple things.

One of the best things you can do is to take sure you're picking up trash and recycling whenever you can.

When you're out on your journey, please dispose of candy wrappers and any trash you build up properly. Hundreds of thousands of pounds of trash get left on the ground every year and it affects many pokemon negatively.

Flying, Water and many forest Pokemon see or smell this trash and try to eat it because of their association with food and can easily make them sick or even kill them.

On top of that, the trash builds up quickly, with some of it having toxic coatings in the glues or inks of the wrappers.

If you did your part to throw away or recycle these products, not only would the numbers decrease, but the lifespan of a lot of species would increase as well.

As trainers you should know this and a lot of the services available to you as well.

During your travels you might see camping or picnic stations between towns, besides being good places to rest, these areas also have a lot of built in emergency services available.

For instance, A lot of the picnic table areas might have roofs over them, in the event of an emergency like a severe storm or even an aggressive wild pokemon hoard, special emergency buttons can be found that bring down protective barriers to keep trainers safe.

The bathroom areas are similar too, with both having an active alert system that lets nearby rangers and emergency services know someone is in danger. 

Not only can these areas be found with a trainer’s Pokedex, but the Pokedex has a really helpful emergency alert system.

if the home button is pressed rapidly at least 5 times, the Pokedex will go into “Emergency Beacon” Mode.

This mode will not only turn the Pokedex into a signal for emergency services, but it will also ping to nearby Pokedex devices and put it into low power mode so the battery isn't used up.

Now listen, being a trainer isn't all rules and safety, there will be so many adventures, battles and friends made along the way, but it’s important to know how to respect nature and the creatures that live there first and to care for them no matter the state they come in.

My strongest and most trusted partner is my Beedrill here named Bliss. She's quite large for her species, but she's very protective of the smaller pokemon in the area, however you might notice the goggles she wears.

Bliss was a timid little Kakuna back in the day, however an unfortunate encounter with some really troublesome trainers and their repels caused major injuries to her left eye.

These Poketools were created by Grey over at Dotaku Island to help secure her eye from sunlight and keep her active, but she will always have some limitations with it.

Bliss couldn't be released back into the wild, and I vowed to keep her safe, but she also decided that she wouldn't sit around and do nothing.

Even though she has some serious damage, some pokemon overcome some major hurdles, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't do our best to help whenever we can.

Me and my team help a lot of pokemon on a regular basis, some as simple as a rehome while others need healing and help to give them a second chance at life, even taking them away from dangerous or inexperienced trainers.

It’s one of our least favorite things to do, but I know that you guys are capable of being some amazing trainers!

If you all are ever in Sinnoh, feel free to stop by and we’ll show you around, and we can always use some volunteers to help keep pokemon homes nice and clean.

We always have pokemon in need of new homes as well, maybe adopting a new friend is in your future as well?

I hope you all have taken some important information with you today and thank you all so much for having me. I do have more topics I could discuss if you all want to hear more sometime soon!

[unblinded-by-nostalgia-blog]

The Story

The story is about three personified game consoles trying to graduate from highschool.

On paper, a comedy of the SEGA consoles and games is actually a really good idea, since many people on YouTube have successful series based on classic game tropes.

But does this anime do it well? Eh... Kind of...

Some of the jokes are funny, especially the ones about retro games. But the problem is that the classic anime jokes fall flat and some of them come out as too mean spirited, especially with the treatment SEGA Saturn gets! This isn't as bad as the Squidward torture porns, but it still on those lines.

And the Sega Saturn torture just gets really predictable. They do it to DreamCast in one episode, but it ruins another joke that came before it and it just leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

The Characters

The characters of the consoles are unfortunately just moe trash! Mega Drive is the smart one, DreamCast is the cute and bubbly one and SEGA Saturn is post-movie Squidward. They should have had the consoles personalities reflect the age that they came from. Such as Mega Drive being the cool gal, Saturn being the jealous one who is often forgotten and DreamCast feel like a failure to reflect on the failure the DreamCast was to the point SEGA stopped making consoles! Does that sound like a more interesting cast than moe garbage?

None of them grow as characters and other than them being SEGA consoles, they are REALLY forgettable!

The 8-bit rabbit is a really unlikeable character, which is a shame because he is voiced by Yuji Naka!

On many Websites, other consoles are mentioned and even have voice actors listed. Not only don't they EVER speak once during the anime, nearly half of the ones listed aren't even in the anime! Sorry Tera-Drive fans! (What the hell is a Tera-drive fan?)

The Animation/Special Effects

You think at first the cheap looking models are a stylistic choice, you soon realise that the animation is actually lazy. They frequently recycle footage and in one episode during the contest, the other consoles are just cheap 2D sprites that look like they have been cut out from a pop-up book! So SEGA Master System and Game Gear fans, be ready to be pissed off!

The animation doesn't even try to make the characters fit in with the games they're in! They stand out like sore thumbs and it just takes you out of the emersion.

Final Thought

As both an anime and retro-game fan, I should have loved this anime. But it feels like the creators in this didn't even try to make it good and decided to do something decent for the ending! Which isn't even worth getting to.

It's no wonder nobody remembers this anime, heck, I didn't know about its existence till today, and I watched it all on one day because the episodes are so short!

Even if you do love the moe genre, there are so many better ones out there that have more care and time put into them. And for retro-gaming fans, the game show Go 8-bit is far more entertaining and Dorkly's animation skits are more funnier than this anime.

Just skip this anime. It's not worth sitting through, even when the episodes are only around 10 minutes long!

The Story 2/5 The Characters 1/5 The Animation/Special Effects 0.5/5

Overall 1/5

[spocks-evil-godmother]

Getting ready for a three-day trip is like okay I'm going to use up these apples by baking them and having them for breakfast and while they bake I'll chop up these tomatoes so I can freeze them and do the dishes and fold my laundry which reminds me I need to run two loads of laundry today and I'll do my clothes now so hopefully they will have all day to dry and then tonight I need to remember to get all my towels washed so that they can dry while I'm away so I'll put a pile in the corner of the kitchen which reminds me that I can take out the recycling today but I will take out the trash and food waste when i leave the house tomorrow to avoid wasting the bags and I should put some disinfectant in the food waste bag anyways I also have avocados in the fridge and they aren't ripe and maybe if I put them in the back where it's cold they'll still be good on Thursday and I'll use up those leftover veggies today and maybe I'll use up the bread if it isn't moldy and maybe I can just finish up the cheese too but the onions and garlic will be fine and I need to buy a train ticket so that I can leave for the hotel directly after leaving work (what am I going to do for breakfast and lunch tomorrow?) And I need to go on a walk but I probably shouldn't go until my laundry is done so it can dry but that's forty minutes so I can vacuum and clean the bathroom and I should really make sure all the surfaces are clean in case the landlord sends anyone to work on the property while I'm gone (though probably not) and by the way you're in sore need of a shower ma'am but obviously that should also wait until after the walk and also you forgot to buy a lock so if the hostel locks are crap then I guess I'll just get robbed blind (we could go to poundland? I don't want to go all the way down to poundland) and remember that you have a phone call this afternoon and you need to read that book before it's time to return it and don't forget that you need to pack and also figure out what you're going to do on your fun and relaxing trip!!

[thessalian]

Thess vs Chores & Errands

Ugh, I don’t want to leave the house. I mean, it’s ironic as hell that I’ve left the house more on my week off than I do during the work week. (ALL HAIL WORKING FROM HOME!) But I have to leave the house. I require mallet meds. I also require a few grocery items - butter, gluten-free bread, dried split peas, chicken stock, and a cauliflower that isn’t the approximate size of a softball. Or maybe just another cauliflower that is the approximate size of a softball, since that will be one whole cauliflower with the tiny-ass one I got sent with my grocery order.

See, I started looking up soup recipes for the new multicooker. I am determined to get all the use out of this thing. Obviously I don’t want to overdo it - I do have a tendency to get overambitious and somewhat carried away - and yet soup is such a good thing to have around, and I don’t have it very often because so much of it is thickened with wheat flour! (I mean, the potato soup recipe I have is similarly thickened with flour, but I personally have gluten-free flour sitting in the cupboard begging to be used in such an instance, so there we go.)

So! Here’s the plan:

Take out the recycling (the big recycling container should be empty by now; they keep changing trash day and alternating weeks so ... eh)

Quick run out to Peckham for supplies

Begin the learning of the soup-making with split pea soup

Prep my pork shoulder for roasting so I get proper crackling

Pass the cooking time playing video games

Eat gloriously well

Learn more about how my multicooker works by setting up everything for beef stew and setting the delay timer so that stew will be ready when I wake up at around lunchtime

...Hmm. I should hit Poundland for more microwave-safe food containers while I’m at it. This is going to be a lot of food. On the bright side, though, it will mean not having to cook for awhile. I probably will, though; I plan to turn some of the leftover pork roast in to pork risotto.

I am going to have so much to tell the Cooking With Spoons blog.

[the-firebird69]

There's some illegal things going on here and we're aware of it we do watch them we think it's a trash truck well you know they can be used for both and the reason they have no machine on the side okay they have people picking up recyclables usually they do with the machine too but yeah they used to do it by hand so you see what they're saying and we have this fight every week now they're mentioning it and think it'll be easier because they're stupid they are in trouble all of us

Tommy f

So what so what so what

Zues Hera

I understand what he's saying this is the process that's happened before this is the noises is the dumb things we do and the Mac proper are pretty much the same and went in and out of westborough in a couple waves so this is how it goes and it says it this is not that abnormal for a group checking out I don't really want to check out but I do see what you're saying what he is saying and we have to stop doing it

Tommy f

Okay so we have a winner this is what's really happening they're checking out and it's going to be over and we have to get ready and someone has to say it

Thor Freya

I have a couple things to say we are ready to fire on these people and we have to this is a much bigger group than what has checked out before and they're doing things that are much worse and getting away with it we need to have a lot more control and should have a meeting another one that says we should have this much control for this particular war it's coming to take place will set a quarter for each group and that's the way it's going to go and he and I are demanding it and if you get less people then it's really not helping we'll go from there but this is terrible and it keeps happening and we're informed of it and yeah we can kind of feel it a little but yeah we need to people to do that right now

Hera

We're going to do that and yeah this is the noise people inform us of why they're falling and how

Thor Freya

These are great ideas and we're going to initialize them now and we have some more of our own and we're going to do it

Olympus

I'm happy to say this morning has been productive and we needed it

Nuada Ariana

[adaginy]

I would almost like for this weekend to be over. (My weekends are Sun/Mon)

We are in the process of buying a house. This is a lot of paperwork and phone calls, both of which I hate. But at least the "looking at places and being dejected by the problems" phase is over.

We are also in the process of getting our current place, a trailer, ready to sell. There's been a rusted spot in the sink in our second bathroom for some time, so, we had to take the sink out and replace it. This is not generally the sort of thing that requires turning off water in the whole house, BUT all our stuff was cheaply made 25 years ago and suddenly there was a lot of swearing and I do not know where the house water shutoff is and so had to trade places with my husband so he could find it while I pressed the broken-off end of a tube into my hand to try to stop water from going everywhere.

While he was finding the water shutoff, however, he noticed water coming from somewhere else. Completely coincidentally, the water coming into the house was leaking -- but before the water meter, which means it was the park's problem and not ours. It did mean we had to make some panicked Sunday-night calls to the park, trying to alert them, and we didn't really know when/how they were going to handle it.

I took a break, because now we had a big problem but no longer an urgent problem, to have some lunch and some tea. I spilled tea on my keyboard, disabling the ' key (among others I wouldn't find until I started troubleshooting), and when i tried pressing the key harder, it started printing XCV]\' XCV]\' XCV]\' until I turned the computer off.

I removed my keyboard and started disassembling it to clean.

We took the dog on a walk and found an excavator parked behind the house and utility lines marked in fluorescent paint. Somehow they'd snuck that in. So I turned my keyboardless computer back on, because I do not have myself logged into Facebook on my phone because Reasons, and used the on-screen keyboard to make a post on the park facebook page to the effect of "hey we called in a leak and now there's an excavator behind our house, maybe stash some water in case they're turning it off."

I had no luck repairing my keyboard, having disassembled it and cleaned it and plugged it into a laptop to check. Best buy and Staples didn't have anything promising in stock, so I went to Amazon where I found a wired, mechanical keyboard that could be delivered tomorrow -- at either the wee small hours of "I feel bad for the delivery person" or at the later hours of spending all day keyboardless. I ordered it for the early morning, and left an energy drink and a granola bar on the porch with a thank you note. I threw the keys I'd popped off and the screws and the plastic frame in the trash, and asked my husband to take the keyboard to electronics recycling in the morning.

Morning comes. My husband did not take the keyboard with him.

My new keyboard has arrived. I unbox and try it out, lamenting to myself that while the switches are technically the same, my old one is much more broken-in and thunk-y instead of clicky. I realize that, with the damage being liquid, I should test the keyboard in case the liquid was somewhere I couldn't get to and it has dried. Sure enough, the keyboard is working now.

The excavator guys are here. They may have to turn my water off for a bit, but otherwise we don't need to interact. I tell them to let me know if they need a bathroom or anything, and I begin the process of fishing my keyboard parts out of the trash, which is full of yard waste and a broken blender.

I find the frame, the discarded keys, and most of the screws. I also find blender screws that are approximately the same size. I reassemble my keyboard, with two internal screws missing and 3 replaced with blender screws. My husband says not to send the new one back, because his keyboard is old and gross and maybe he'd like a replacement. I was not planning to send it back anyhow, because WHY didn't we have a spare keyboard? I put replacement keyboard anti-skid feet stickers in the amazon cart, because those I did not find, but I can live without for now.

I get a text from the realtor reminding us that we have a house inspection at the new place at 4. She is very cheerful.

[earaercircular]

Mandatory Composting Is Coming to New York City: What You Need to Know

Brown compost bins for curb side collection are available free from the city

The program, which has already rolled out in Queens, requires residents to separate food scraps and yard waste from their trash. Brooklyn is next.

Universal curb side composting came to Queens. Now it’s Brooklyn’s turn.

The program, which is expanding across the city over the next year, requires residents to separate food scraps and yard waste from their trash. Soon, it will be mandatory for all New Yorkers.[1] Composting is crucial for fighting climate change, explained Councilwoman Sandy Nurse, a sponsor of the Zero Waste Act,[2] a legislative package that passed this summer and includes the curbside bill. When food waste goes into landfills, it produces methane, “which is the worst of the greenhouse gang,” she said.

Domingo Morales, the founder of the grass-roots organization Compost Power,[3] added that composting makes soil healthier, which improves food growing capabilities and can also capture more carbon dioxide.

Here’s what New Yorkers should expect when it arrives in their areas.

When will curb side composting come to my neighbourhood?

It will start in Brooklyn on Oct. 2. (Currently, officials are “knocking on every door” to alert residents, according to a Department of Sanitation spokesman.)

The Bronx and Staten Island will be next in March, followed by Manhattan in October 2024.

Do I need a brown bin from the city?

Compost can be stored in a freezer at home between pickups

No. Any bin, with a capacity of 55 gallons or less and a tight lid, will work. But if you want something official looking (and free), you can order one[4] (or even just a decal[5] for your chosen receptacle) through the Department of Sanitation, depending on when your borough is starting the program.

Brooklyn residents may order them through Oct. 13. To be ready for the Oct. 2 start date, they should order by Sept. 1.

Those who live in the Bronx, Staten Island and Manhattan should check back with the department in early 2024.

What will curb side composting accept?

Basically, all food, anything that grows in the dirt and a few other items. These can include fruits and vegetables, eggshells, coffee grounds, bread, pasta, cereal, rice, meat, bones, dairy, prepared foods, greasy uncoated paper plates, pizza boxes, leaf and yard waste.

“New Yorkers should not overthink this,” Councilwoman Nurse said. “Is this something I can eat? Or Grow? Cool, it goes in the bin.”

Yard waste can be mixed in with food scraps (as long as all of it is placed in a receptacle with a tightfitting lid). But residents can also keep yard waste separate by placing it in a bag or in a different container.

What does not go in the compost bin?

Anything that should go into recycling, like metal, glass, plastic, cartons, clean paper and cardboard, and other trash items like wrappers, pet waste, medical waste, diapers, foam, or hygiene products.

How will pick up work?

The city has trucks that hold compost on one side and regular trash on the other

Yard waste and food scraps will be picked up on recycling day. Check for the recycling schedule here[6].

The Sanitation Department now has dual-bin trucks with two chambers that can pick up different materials at the same time. On one side might be recycling, on the other side, compost.

Pickup times, as well as the design and number of trucks, will depend on the density of the district.

For those in high-rises or larger buildings, each property’s management is expected to develop a plan for collecting and setting out compost for pickup.

Expect some kinks in the beginning. Linna Quigley, 37, who lives in a Jackson Heights coop, was delighted when curb side came to Queens, emailing an F.A.Q. sheet about composting to her neighbours, she said. But, she says, sometimes she sees regular trash in her 79-unit building’s one communal, brown bin.

“This is going to be a long process,” Councilwoman Nurse said. “Just like with anything that’s new, you have to constantly reinforce it.”

New Yorkers who want to get ahead of their building’s curb side composting plans can request a visit[7] from someone at Sanitation to go over options.

How do I store food scraps at home?

“You don’t need a fancy $100 countertop bin from Amazon,” said Mr. Morales, who suggested empty jumbo mayonnaise or peanut butter jars, even a zip-lock bag, for storing waste. “Usually a zip-lock bag will last me a good four to five months,” he said. Once you empty the bag in the communal bin, he added, it’s easy to wash and reuse.

For lining a small bin or bucket, there are biodegradable bags (look for the ASTM D6400 specification), but they still take a while to break down. And they do not compost, Mr. Morales said. For transporting waste, he suggested using a brown paper bag, like one from Trader Joe’s. It can get tossed into the compost bin, and it’s carbon rich, he said.

For the large bin that Sanitation workers pick up, you can line it with a garbage bag, which can also be reused. But it’s not necessary. Basically, whoever controls putting the recycling and composting out should make this decision.

What happens if I don’t participate?

At first, nothing really. The law won’t go into effect until six months after the entire city has gotten curbside composting service. If the rollout stays on schedule, this should put us at Spring 2025.

In terms of fines, details are still being worked out, but they will be comparable to recycling fines and will depend on the size of the building — between $25 and $100 for a first offense.

Once the law is enacted, if sanitation workers are collecting the trash and they find food or yard waste mixed in with the garbage, they are supposed to call their supervisor, who will write a ticket.

What are the those orange bins on the streets?

New Yorkers need to download an app to use the smart compost bins

Those are smart compost bins, and there are about 400 of them across the city, available for anyone to use at any time. They accept the same items as curb side service.

They are called “smart bins” for a reason: You’ll need to download an app to use them. You can do that here.[8]

If I live where it’s not yet mandatory to separate food scraps, can I go ahead and start doing it?

Yes. There are community drop-off composting sites, run by various nonprofits, throughout the five boroughs. You can find the one closest to you here. Rules for what they accept tend to be more strict than curb side service or the orange smart bins. For example, most of them do not accept meat, bones and dairy.

What happens to the waste after it’s picked up?

A wastewater treatment plant in Newtown Creek

Some of it goes to compost facilities in New Jersey or to a site in Staten Island. At the latter, the material is set into 10-foot-tall[9] rows (called windrows), where it gets turned and aerated over time and broken down into soil. It is then either sold or given away.

New Yorkers interested in free compost can find a pickup point close to them here.

Some of the waste goes to anaerobic digesters, large sealed containers that store it while bacteria break it down. The largest hub for this process is in Newtown Creek in Greenpoint, Brooklyn,[10] where “eggs” convert the waste into biogas (a renewable fuel) that can go into the grid to power homes.

The city is looking to expand facilities to meet increasing demand and to diversify processing so as not to overburden any one neighbourhood, according to the Department of Sanitation.

Source

Hilary Howard, Mandatory Composting Is Coming to New York City: What You Need to Know, New York Times, 23-08-2023, https://www.nytimes.com/article/curbside-composting-brooklyn.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShar

[1] https://www.nytimes.com/2023/06/08/nyregion/food-composting-nyc.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare

[2] The New York City Council passed the “Zero Waste Act,” a legislative package of zero waste legislation that will advance our city’s efforts to divert organic waste from landfills, fight climate change, and create a greener, more sustainable future for all New Yorkers. The five-bill legislative package codifies a mandatory residential curbside organics collection program, sets zero waste targets for 2030, requires annual reporting on Zero Waste efforts, creates community food scrap drop-off sites, and establishes new community recycling centers in the five boroughs. Taken together, the Zero Waste Act positions New York City as a national leader on zero waste policies, advances the City’s efforts to fight the climate crisis, and addresses the over 11,000 tons of residential waste that New Yorkers produce daily. https://council.nyc.gov/press/2023/06/08/2421/

[3] https://compostpowernyc.org/

[4] https://www.nyc.gov/assets/dsny/site/contact/curbside-composting

[5] https://sanitation.my.site.com/recyclingmaterialsrequest/s/?language=en_US¶meter=JmF1ZElkPWEyQjZnMDAwMDAwcHN4d0VBQSZzdWJBdWRJZD1hMkI2ZzAwMDAwMHBzeThFQUEmb2xkQXVkSWQ9YTJCNmcwMDAwMDBwc3h3RUFBJm9sZFN1YkF1ZElkPWEyQjZnMDAwMDAwcHN5OEVBQSZzZWxlY3RlZENhdGVnb3J5SWQ9YTJDNHYwMDAwME1Dd1JwRUFMJnNlbGVjdGVkU3ViQ2F0ZWdvcnlJZD1hMkM2ZzAwMDAwMVVWMHdFQUcmcHJvZHVjdElkPTAxdDZnMDAwMDA0dzZOcEFBSSZvcmRlckluZm89e30mc2hpcHBpbmdJbmZvPXt9JnNrdUlkPTAxdDZnMDAwMDA0dzZRU0FBWSZwYWdlTmFtZT1wcm9kdWN0TGlzdENvbnRhaW5lcg%3D%3D

[6] https://www.nyc.gov/assets/dsny/site/collectionSchedule

[7] https://www.nyc.gov/assets/dsny/site/contact/event-participation-request

[8]  https://www.nyc.gov/assets/dsny/site/services/food-scraps-and-yard-waste-page/nyc-food-scrap-drop-off-locations

[9] Mayor Eric Adams op X: 'The Staten Island Compost Facility is a sight to see. Millions of pounds of NYC's waste goes here so it can be processed and distributed across our city. It's part of the reason our Queens composting program was so successful! https://twitter.com/NYCMayor/status/1610380337011650560

[10] https://www.nyc.gov/site/dep/whats-new/digester-egg-tours.page