#and again this is not to say either group is a monolith - this is a generality of my own observations

[son-of-avraham]

Before I continue with this ask, I want to make it very clear that this is not supposed to be a hateful or homophobic ask, i am myself a gay man and am looking to convert. I know you are just a convert student and don’t know everything but you seem very knowledgeable.

As someone who’s grown up Christian I’ve always had the Leviticus verse thrown at me about man lying with man being an abomination. Why do I never see jews use that verse in the way Christian’s do ? Was it a mistranslation or ?

That's a complicated question, and one that I'm not quite qualified for, despite, also, being queer/LGBT in general. Just like xtians aren't a monolith, so too are jews not a monolith. I want to make my intentions clear because I don't hate xtianity and do not want to caricature the umbrella faith that is xtianity.

If you want my personal opinion, I think a lot of it comes from the differences of approach that xtians and jews tend to have. In my experience as an ex-xtian, the overall consensus was that you don't really... question doctrine. You don't explore any deeper meanings, at least where I grew up. It wasn't a question, it was literal.

In my experience with judaism, we (in general) have different interpretations and questions. Debate in my shul is lively when we do debate, for example - a few of the members literally talked for hours at lunch because they were debating a topic. I think for many, there's an openness to asking and exploring the word of g-d and it isn't seen as Disrespectful Of G-d to wonder what He means. Therefore, you do have some people who don't focus on that passage, or take it as Literal™

I will clarify that many of my memories as an xtian were from a rather progressive church, all things considered, so I definitely am not of the belief that all xtians are magically homophobic. But when there is an xtian who is, I have noticed it's because they tend to interact with doctrine in different ways than jews might.

[clockwayswrites]

The Haunting of Danny Fenton Chapter 3, Part 1

masterpost, please no editing or concrit! This is a first draft only and it is a sleepy, headachy day.

Danny rung the doorbell (buzzer, whatever) on the monolithic side of Titans Tower.

Nothing happened, of course.

Danny glared at the spot where he though Flash might be. Approximately. It’s where the buzzing was at least.

“You're going to get me arrested,” Danny complained to thin air.

Somehow he was certain he'd gotten a little ‘go head' sort of motion back to his words. He couldn't see Flash still, not outside of seizures at least. It was more like how one knew someone was looking at them. It was a sense of movement.

Danny rang the bell again.

Then Danny pulled out a notebook, leaned against the building, and started sketching. He set a reoccurring timer to go off every two minutes. When it did, he rang the buzzer again. Then he got back to sketching.

Fifteen times into ringing the buzzer, some hidden speaker hummed to life.

“Dude, you know, there's a tip line you can use, right? And we don’t give autographs.”

Danny scrambled against his aching body to stand up straight and spun towards the door. “I, um, know. I saw the sign. But I don't have a tip, I have a message.”

The bored sounding person on the other side of the speaker sighed. It sounded like static. “What's the message?”

“It's from the Flash, I think,” Danny said. “And, trust me, I can't believe I'm saying this either, but he wants me to tell Nightwing that ‘he's a real dick’ but said, like, in a fond way.”

The silence was unbearably heavy.

“Okay then. Right. Please don't have me arrested, I'm just the messenger,” Danny said and started to back away.

The TV static of Flash hummed against his back.

“I tried, okay?” Danny hissed at him. “We’ll come up with another idea and—”

And one of the double doors to Titan’s Tower slammed open by a large green gorilla that quickly morphed into a small green man.

“What did you say?!?” Beastboy shouted breathlessly.

“Someone I'm, like, eighty percent sure is your guys’ Flash told me to tell Nightwing that he's a real dick.”

“Holy shit. Holy fucking shit,” Beastboy repeated, really drawing the words out. “Inside, now!”

Danny blinked at the sudden acceptance. “Not to arrest me, right?”

“What? No!” Beastboy exclaimed and started to basically pull Danny into the building. “We have to get Nightwing!”

“Okay.” Danny hoped that was true.

Danny got the feeling that Flash was right along with him as Beastboy herded him (literally as a sheep dog at one point) through the lobby, into the elevator, and up the tower. The room that they walked out into was clearly a personal space. There were abandoned cups, a smattering of plants, and several discarded pieces of clothing about the room.

The Titans lounging in front of a massive TV were pretty telling too.

“Gar…” the goth of the group asked as they stood. “…who is this?”

“This is—” Gar started enthusiastically and then deflated like a popped balloon. “Um, I don’t know actually? No, Raven, wait! No attacking! Just, dude, just tell them what you told me!”

Danny tried not to tense up at the dark power swirling around one of Raven’s hands. “Flash sent me to tell Nightwing that ‘he’s a real dick’, but Flash said it in a fond way.”

“Oh, fuck,” Raven breathed.

“Where is he?” Asked who could only be Cyborg.

“Here…ish,” Danny said with a gesture to where Flash was. “He said he’s trapped in the Speed Force. He’s not exactly on this plan of existence. Very small chance he’s dead, and I can only talk to him because he’s a ghost but Flash says he’s not but sometimes ghosts are like that?”

“…sometime ghosts are like that,” Raven repeated.

Danny scratched at the back of his neck. “Yeah… I’m kinda a psychopomp? But if it’s any comfort, Flash is really insistent that he’s not dead. He doesn’t feel like normal ghosts either. I think he’s actually right that he’s not dead, especially since he didn’t get any more clear when my heart stopped the other day.”

“When you’re heart what?!” Cyborg practically shouted.

It was a bit of an over the top reaction for hero, Danny thought. They put themselves in danger all the time.

“Yeah. So because Flash isn’t a normal ghost,” Danny said, slightly bewildered as Gar urged him over to the couch to sit down down, “I can’t see him or talk to him like I normally would. It’s been mostly seizures before, which wow I do not recommend, but a few days ago I too some tea to help my powers open up and the added ability to interact was too much for me I guess and my heart stopped.”

“Well,” Raven said with a little frown and a wave of her hand. “That explains the medical band.”

Danny blinked down at it. “Oh. I meant to take that off. Yeah, sorry, I sorta checked myself out against doctors orders to come here.”

“Dude, why?” Gar said, sitting down next to Danny. His face was incredibly expressive and Danny felt like those big, worried eyes might give him another heart attack.

“Because… because you deserve to know where your friend is,” Danny said honestly.

There was a long beat of silence before Cyborg slapped his hands against his leg with a clank. “Right. I’ve alerted Nightwing and the others. Gar, help…”

“Danny.”

“—help Danny settle in. Raven, watch Gar.”

“Hey!” Gar exclaimed with a pout.

[xclowniex]

You're a zionist Arab Jew? Are you also a member of the Snow Leopards Eating My Face party? Are you white passing enough that zionists don't know you're Arab or do you just hate yourself? Are you unaware of the unabashed anti Arab racism that Israelis spout out every day on social media? Or do you think you're just "one of the good ones"?

Time for everyone's favorite game show!

"What deranged shit in Clownie's inbox today!"

To turn to a more serious note, Whilst I do not not live in Israel, my family does.

My family have only faced minimal racism for being arab, mainly stuff back in school years ago. I do not speak for all arab jews or even all Arabs in Israel, but that is mu family's experience. Just schoolyard racist teasing which is obviously not a good thing, but isn't a problem anymore than anywhere else in the world.

My family has full rights as other arab citizens do and other jews do.

Most jews I speak to have no problem with me being arab too. Do anti arab jews exist? Probably as no group is a monolith. I have just not encountered any yet, which is again, just my experience.

Zionism is also not an anti arab ideology inherently. Zionism literally just means wanting self determination in Southern Levant. That looks like a lot of different things, however most jews who are zionist believe in either a two state solution or a land for all solution which allows for jewish self determination and Palestinian self determination.

I think it's also important for me to say that I do not know which arab country my arabness comes from due to my family being told to "leave or die" a few generations back because they were also jewish. I really wish that history had not been forgotten in the past 4 generations but it has.

When it comes to my appearance, is white passing something you ask every other poc on this site? Or just arab jews.

For your information, I am not white passing, I look mixed. People can tell that I'm not white. I have faced anti arab sentiment and racism before too because of how I look. I've even had someone think I was the cousin of an arab acquaintance too if that gives you a better idea surrounding my appearance.

I would have a better time in Israel as an arab jew than I would in most arab countries as an arab jew. Also there is a decent community of arab jews in Israel as well.

Lastly I would like to leave you with this, if your world view is threatened by an arab jew being a two state solution zionist, then your world view is weak and not at all based in reality.

I an arab jew, am holding hands with all other arab jews, non Jewish arab and non arab jews. Fuck off with your arabs vs jews rhetoric

[cinnabutcringy]

[ just a small cw; i'm gonna be talking abt racist stereotypes, not very in depth but still ]

i said this on twitter but i'll say it here too: reverse1999 is NOT a perfect game and i think people should stop acting like it's "the exception" because of the devs doing the bare minimum when it comes to some of the representation.

like, it's okay to like these characters. hell, if you're part of the groups that they represent (indians, for example) then i'm not gonna tell you that you can't like them or find them decent representation. i also understand the feeling of "i take what i can get" when it comes to representation in media of marginalized groups.

but at the same time, i think it's important to acknowledge that there is genuinely criticisms to be had of this game and its way of handling non-east asian poc.

for one, there's only about 4 characters that have dark skin (i would not personally consider joe to be one of them but i'm counting him just bc i forgot to in my twt thread and also to just cover my bases.) kaalaa baunaa and kanjira do not have dark skin. has no one considered why this is???? at all???

and on the topic of kanjira, she also is a character full of orientalist stereotypes. i like kanjira, i think she's a sweet kid, but aside from that, she's written to be a thief, con artist and is illiterate and homeless. i'm not saying that that's not a reality for some kids, but the fact that she was deliberately written this way is kind of a red flag.

there's also some smaller things that people have pointed out like most of the representation in this game of those cultures being things like the characters naming off foods, or just saying small phrases (i.e. centurion talking about burritos and enchiladas, and leilani saying "aloha!") and not actually having many cultural references nor speaking a lot in their language

don't even get me STARTED on the lack of african or african american representation in this fuckin game.

again. i don't want to say that no one can like these characters. i don't want to say that people cannot relate to these characters, or that people can't think they're good representation. that's not my call especially not if you're part of the groups of ppl they're representing (i.e. latin americans, hawaiians, indians, etc.) but i think it is important to realize that like

well, for one, no group is a monolith. there are probably ppl who feel this way but either don't get heard or are too scared to say so.

and two, even if you're not a part of these groups, you can still recognize the flaws in something and acknowledge that, most likely, it's part of a bigger problem in society--colorism, orientalism, whatever. it's in many gacha games and will continue to be, and r1999 is not an exception that should be justified or ignored because "it's better than genshin impact"

[goaliegossip]

Are the Hughes racist?//

Firstly they are not a monolith. They are three separate individuals. Your ask was about Quinn specifically so why say 'the Hughes'?There's zero indication that he has ever been racist and not posting a story or following a minors player is not a racist act. That was also back in October so it's a bit odd to bring it up now.

Jack and Luke are very active and involved ambassadors to Hockey in NJ who provide underfunded inner city kids who are mostly from minority groups and neighbourhoods access to hockey and they know them all by name and spend a ton of time with the kids even when the cameras aren't present. That's not racist behaviour either.

So I'd feel fairly confident in saying that none of the Hughes brothers has ever remotely shown any sign of being racist and you should probably hesitate before making serious allegations without any basis like that again.

yes exactly. there has not been a single thing said about any of them to suggest that they are racist. you can’t based anything based off social media activity. assuming something like that because of a follow or lack thereof is ridiculous I’m sorry

[please-help-this-little-lesbian]

So, I recently started watching Avatar: The Last Airbender. The politics of the show are very interesting to me, especially considering I just finished reading The Animorphs series. Now, I know they aren’t directly comparable, what with being two different mediums (books vs a cartoon), being created at different times (Animorphs the 1990s, ATLA 2005-2008), and (slightly) different age ranges (ATLA 7+, Animorphs middle grade (specifically 9-12, though I’d argue it generally skews older.)) But both are very anti-war and anti-imperialism. Animorphs was the first series in that age range I encountered that truly goes “hard” with its themes. It asked a LOT of tough questions, and its protagonists were truly morally gray in the end. One of my favorite scenes in the series is where the villain is on trial for war crimes, and his lawyers bring up that the protagonist is ALSO a war criminal. The protagonist is acquitted by The Hague because it was self-defense. Incredible. But, back to ATLA.

An episode that really stood out to me was “The Puppet Master,” particularly Hana’s fate. Now, if I’m being completely honest, I was never afraid of Hama, and honestly, I didn’t blame her. I’m not saying she was RIGHT, she was torturing innocent people who had nothing to do with her original imprisonment, but I could understand how she’d operate on all Fire Nation citizens being a monolith. Honestly, I was a little disappointed that her arc ended with her being locked up again, the very same thing that drove her to blood-bending in the first place.

It really made me think about “justice,” particularly the western view of it. I feel like the west, particularly America (ATLA, though inspired by Asian culture, is an American made-TV show), justice is viewed as a punitive and retributive thing, where the ultimate goal is to punish the fact that a crime was committed, rather than address why, how, and the humanity at the heart of the situation. Wim Laven says, in an article for LAProgressive, “No criminal trial is motivated by healing or truth. Trials are about fact finding and fact exclusion,” (2021). Healing is a part of my problem with Hama’s story. She is someone who has suffered from immense trauma in being kidnapped, imprisoned, (probably) tortured, and lost not only her home but everyone she knew. Yes, continuing the cycle of violence doesn’t help you heal from it, but sometimes it feels like it’s the only option. Again, I’m not saying what Hama did was RIGHT, but to her it was something, something to deal with the pain and anger. And putting her back in the very same conditions that fueled this pain and anger doesn’t feel like justice to me.

Let’s take it back to Animorphs since I brought it up for a reason. There is actually a similar situation portrayed in the series. In book 20, The Discovery, we’re introduced to a character named David. He recently began attending the same school as the protagonists, and came across a piece of technology he shouldn’t have. This leads to him being targeted by the villains of the series and triggers a fight between the protagonists and antagonists. In this fight, David’s parents are captured by the villains, and his home is destroyed, leaving him at the mercy of the protagonists. They debate whether to leave David to be captured by the antagonists or induct him into their group. (The villains are parasitic slugs who can crawl into people's brains and take them over, and the protagonists can morph into any animal whose DNA they acquire. Because they take over brains, you have no way of knowing who is and isn’t actually a parasitic slug, so the protagonists must keep their powers a secret from everyone they know. Yes, IK Animorphs is weird. The point is, the slugs know everything about you, so either way David is a risk.) They ultimately decide to give him the power to morph and induct him into the group, but this ultimately ends up being a mistake. David repeatedly endangers the group, breaks their rules, almost betrays them to the villains, and tries to kill multiple of the protagonists. The group has no choice but to do something with David, but what? They don’t want to kill him, so they do something that’s honestly far worse. They trap him in rat morph (you can only stay in morph for two hours before it becomes permanent) and drop him off on a secluded island in the middle of nowhere. This haunts the protagonists for the rest of their lives. Later, through fever dream plot reasons, David comes back and begs to be killed. We never find out if he is or not. A key part of David’s story is that at the end of the day, he was just a traumatized, troubled kid whose life was turned upside down, and EVERYONE ended up suffering for it. Animorphs does a really good job of exploring the tragedy of war, and it's because of the focus on how war creates conditions where violence is the only option because it is easier to commit to a cycle of revenge than work to improve conditions so that war doesn't have to be inevitable.

I'm not saying Avatar: The Last Airbender doesn't talk about this, or that it has to! It's for a younger audience, I don't expect or need the protagonists to commit atrocities! But it's interesting that they introduced a character that is villainized for this, and disappointing to me. The situation isn't black or white, Hama is sympathetic, and we understand why she's doing this, but the writing presents the only solution as punishing Hama for the harm she caused instead of allowing her to redeem herself.

I'm not saying that's an easy answer, either. The gaang are kids, in Fire Nation territory where they're subjected to Fire Nation laws, and just freed her victims. With the upcoming invasion, they couldn't just take Hama back to the Southern Water Tribe. But why is locking her away the only solution? Why didn't they at least consider the route where they prevented her from committing further harm by taking her out of the situation? Maybe they ask her to join the invasion with the promise she'll stop blood-bending. Maybe they promise to break her out later. I'm not saying everything would be perfect, but letting Hama return to her home, surrounded by people who would help her heal, takes away the desire to do harm, does it not? This is a situation where punitive justice is NOT the only answer, yet it's presented as if it is. I wouldn't even be as upset at her fate if the narrative addressed this wasn't the only way, and the tragedy of this being their only option at the moment. But it doesn't because it sees it as right.

This also frustrating because Zuko IS given the benefit of tragedy and restorative justice. Now, I haven't finished the show yet (I just finished 3x11), but from what I've seen so far, I'm assuming Zuko redeems himself by not only working to heal HIS trauma but the trauma he caused OTHERS. And that's GREAT! I LOVE Zuko, he's my favorite character. I'm not saying he doesn't deserve a redemption arc. He DOES. But it's frustrating that he, a member of the royal family of an imperialist nation, who's directly harmed the gaang amongst other crimes, is given this opportunity while Hama, a victim of said imperialist nation, isn't. Yes, you can chalk it up to Hama admittedly committing far worse a crime than Zuko has, and Zuko being a child while Hama is an old woman, my main concern is still the optics here.

ATLA has a philosophy of actions defining character, and while this is fine, and I agree with it, I don't think it's given quite the amount of nuance it needs. Motivations for actions are just as important. Hama's arc is messy and nuanced, but that isn't explored nearly enough.

If we can all agree that Zuko is a victim who deserves a second chance, then why isn't Hama?

[utilitycaster]

24 & 25 for the ask game

24. most rancid discourse - I'm going to the wider AP/TTRPG fandom again because I think most Critical Role dumb discourse things have either a clear eventual end date, or are limited to small subgroups. Anyway, I just said this last week but I'll say it again: it's fine if you don't like D&D, whether your issue is with the gameplay itself or with WOTC/Hasbro's practices. I happen to like D&D as a game and I haven't spent a dime on anything put out by WoTC/Hasbro in over two years, because I already own what I need, and I don't feel bad about pirating other stuff, so boycotting it on a personal level doesn't do shit. The overwhelming attitude from people who want actual play shows to change systems because they "have an obligation to the fans" or people who get shitty on posts about D&D is not "hey, I want to help you find other games that you might enjoy other than D&D;" it's "I HATE D&D AND I'M GOING TO BE A LOUD STUPID DICK ABOUT IT." Like, at this point I personally will not play PF or Fabula Ultima unless a personal IRL friend invites me because every single person plugging those online has been so fucking unpleasant that I don't wish to spend any time in their community. I loved TAZ Steeplechase, which used Blades in the Dark, but I'm actually not super interested in playing out that kind of story at my tables; I want to play a fantasy game with level progression. I've had a good time with some indie solo games, and some Grant Howitt one-pagers, and you know what a big factor for those was? I had a group of people around me who were interested (or I personally was interested) and someone was kind and positive and asked me what sort of game I was looking for instead of just being like PLAY MY FAVORITE GAME BECAUSE I'M RIGHT. And yeah, as a person who is totally ok with actual play shows sticking with D&D if it's what fits the story, a lot of people do repeatedly whine about D&D being the system of choice and then don't watch anything else. and unfortunately I do not see an end to this.

25. This is a complicated one but in CR I think it's both important to understand the context of a lot of fandom attitudes/complaints based on how the fandom was in the past; it's also crucial to understand that fandom is never monolithic, assuming everyone holds the position you like/dislike is false, and when you bring up that context it's vital to make sure it's still relevant. So to give a couple examples, it is an important truth in the history of CR fandom that people were particularly awful to the women, especially Marisha-as-Keyleth, during Campaign 1. It also gets treated as like, this obligatory litany you have to say before any criticism of any female character ever and it's like. I am a woman. My understanding of misogyny long pre-dates my watching of Critical Role. If you are not an extremely stupid person I think you can understand that me saying "Laudna frequently feels underdeveloped" is not me saying "Marisha Ray should be thrown off a bridge". We can similarly acknowledge that some critiques of Campaign 3 are in bad faith and also that there's a lot of valid reasons why many people strongly prefer Campaigns 1 and/or 2 without making up bullshit lies (the idea that people never criticized Liam for main character syndrome when that was a CONSTANT in C2 and, I am told, C1; the idea that there wasn't a lot of pushback towards Campaign 2 for not being Vox Machina Redux).

I guess the best way to put it is that I'm sick of people complaining that not everyone has the same preferences as they do and claiming that they (and the things they like) are the most put upon perfect angel whom the mean fandom hates. If Campaign 3 is your favorite, great. Enjoy. Glad you're enjoying it. If the existence of other people with valid arguments on why they don't like it is making it hard for you to enjoy something, that's either because you are spineless and stupid and lack a coherent individual viewpoint independent of the validation of others; or because their arguments are good and are pointing out things you hadn't previously noticed and don't want to admit. and this goes for any character, any campaign, and any show. You sound like the "potterheads get your wands" people.

[notesfromthepalace]

Convos

Something that seems to find its way back in to my conversation with my friends, sister and boyfriend is that I have had a very interesting life that most women who look like me may have never experienced or may not ever experience. And these conversations usually follows the listed topics:

Dating

Education

Standards

Self-esteem

Recently, my sister came to visit me. I am really thankful for the relationship we have; We're more than sisters, we're soul mates. I am also thankful for the fact that my sister and boyfriend really have that bro/sis bond which really warms my heart.

Yes, so when we were driving my sister to the airport to catch her flight, we began having a conversation about our upbringings. For instance, my boyfriend went to boarding school from his early years until completion of high school, my sister and I (although we went to public school), lived in a very diverse community that had options for us both to play soccer, lacrosse, and cheerleading, along with play the violin. This seemed pretty normal to me, but they both made it clear that I was living in "Lala land".

I have an idea of what the poverty rates are for Black America, and I also know that even though we do not all embody the stereotypes that society likes to impose on all Black people, could it be possible that a vast majority of us exemplify those stereotypes daily? That was the basis of our disagreement for two hours.

For me, when I look at my friendship circle and break it all down: we all grew up in two parent/married households, we all played sports and instruments, we all had cars by 16, and we all went and graduated from college. So yes, it does amaze me that being in my close girlfriend circle, and also making new friends with other Black women where that is there background as well, I was thinking we made up at least 45% of the Black population in America.

Wrong.

And to my dismay by the way.

But after wrestling with the fact for weeks, I can understand now why people believe that I am an exception or an anomaly. And this is not me saying that Black people are a monolith either. I am just a part of a small group that I didn't believe to be this small.

Let's start with dating.

We all know I love my African King.

But even before we started dating, I always had an affinity for foreign men and older men 30+. And since the age of 21, if a man showed interest in me, there was no "Netflix and chill" or come over. If you're interested, show me, prove it to me. Now, did I ever say that, girl no! But how I carried myself as a young women spoke enough for me.

For example, when I was 21, I lived in the Poconos of Pennsylvania while I was interning at a pharmaceutical company. There were two men who were very interested in me that I met at the gym. One was a Columbian who was 31 years old and the other was an Ecuadorian man who was 28 years old. The 31 year old Columbian was a marine, and our first date was an all expense paid trip to a spa with full body massages, facials and champagne. Never did I kiss this man, sleep with this man, nothing. We simply would go out to dinner and meet up in the gym to workout. The 28 year old was a restaurant owner and our first date was him closing down his restaurant with a beautiful Ecuadorian feast prepared by himself, and the next date was a shopping spree. Again, both of these dating experiences were strictly platonic. And If I am completely honest, I have always been like this. With my current boyfriend, we didn't even kiss until he officially asked me to be his girlfriend friend, and that was a month after we had started going on dates. When I have had conversations with some new girlfriends, they were astonished. The older ones are even more surprised, that was how I was moving even as a 21 years old.

And let me tell you, that summer was also the year I turned 21 and the best summer of my life. Summer 2019 was a movie.

Education.

Now, I consider myself a lover of academia: I love school, I love learning, I love research. I understand that to be considered an "academic", you need to have a PhD, but for me, I believe I am a Black Academic; I am a black woman who has educated herself on black studies while in college and during my personal time, I also have a degree in chemistry, I have two IT Certifications, and I am currently embarking on my nursing journey. So for me, as a woman who has a degree, certifications, obtaining another degree, traveled and well read, I am my own version of a Black Academic.

36.1% of Black women have degrees. But that 36.1%, are they the ones pushed to the front when the world speaks about Black women?

No.

Standards.

I am so grateful for the father that I had. I have high standards because of him. My father came to America from Haiti, worked day in and day out, to support his family and give us everything we wanted and needed. He also worked while attending school obtaining a dual degree in engineering and business management. That being said, if that was the father I had, what would ever make someone believe that I would accept any form of treatment subpar to that. I believe in a man being the head of the home, which comes with specific responsibilities. And when I felt like someone didn't meet that metric, I kindly declined their advances.

Now, not only are my standards high when it comes to finding a husband, but my standards are high with every aspect of my life. Due to my parents providing me with a great childhood, I could only go higher/further. I have been able to provide myself with the same, if not better, of a life.

I have made my home my sanctuary. All that comes in and out are prayers and good vibes. So there is a certain level of rift raft that I do not allow access to not only my life, my home, my energy, etc. There are plenty people I do not talk to anymore, there are places I don't go - I know my worth and value and best believe, I have added tax.

High Self-Esteem.

I also believe there are certain things I refuse to subject myself too because my self-esteem is through the roof. I left my old profession because I think too highly of myself, and was no longer willing to be in a space that had me acting out of character.

Essentially, the previous organization I am referring to, and have referred to in other blog posts, is the army. And this will not be a "army-bashing" post. The army isn't bad, its most of the individuals who are running it. Essentially, most of the personnel I had run ins with lacked a personality outside of their rank or title and were bothered that I was "Sarah Chanel", not "army person Sarah". So, once my time was up, I eloquently removed myself, it no longer served me to be there, and its okay. But when I would talk to people who I thought were mentors to me within the army, women of color specifically, they tried to encourage me to stay in. Not knowing I had observed how their professional and personal lives were, and with all do respect, no thank you. Again, I think too highly of myself to force myself to stay somewhere simply for recognition or the "want to belong". I am a child of the Most High and very, very, very, highly favored, that longing does not exist for me.

I feel like this was a lot, but that is honestly what most of my conversations have consisted of over the last year - and politics - but I will not get into that here.

Again Sissy Poohs, I will be better. I promise!

With Love,

Sarah Chanel

[morelikeravenbore]

A comprehensive guide on how to turn the good guys bad.

Sebastian x f!oc, seventh year, post-canon/canon-divergent, idiots in love, mutual pining, eventual romance, suppressed powers, slytherin x ravenclaw pairing, no game-play retelling. [rated mature, no smut.]

[read on ao3, read on wattpad]

🦋 C h a p t e r o n e [2.4k words]

If Aurélie Collins had to choose one word to best describe herself, she supposed it would be, to put it as delicately as she could: "completely and utterly overwhelmed." Granted, that was four words, not one, but as she trudged down yet another unfamiliar corridor, she was simply relieved she could string together a coherent sentence at all; after the last few months of hell she'd endured, Aurélie wasn't her usual eloquent self, to say the least.

She hadn't always been this way: overwhelmed, that is. In fact, if asked only a few months ago to describe herself, she would've said she was dutiful, quick-witted, and, if not brave, then definitely unafraid of facing challenges head-on. She'd been a confident girl once: she got good grades, always did as she was asked and never stepped a toe out of line. Everyone — from her parents and teachers to her friends and peers — knew that Aurélie Collins would go on to achieve whatever she set her mind to.

Now, though? Well, nowadays she was too overwhelmed, too exhausted, too beset by grief to set her mind on much of anything.

— And this new school of hers certainly wasn't doing anything to improve her situation.

Bloody Hogwarts.

Of all places she'd ever imagined herself living, the freezing cold Scottish Highlands was absolutely not one of them. But, then again, she wouldn't have believed she'd be an orphan at seventeen either, yet here she was.

Hogwarts was famous, of course. Heralded as the pinnacle of magical education and arguably the top school in the wizarding world, most witches and wizards were honoured to attend such a prestigious establishment. But Aurélie was of the opinion that every bloody thing at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was confusing, unnecessary, or just downright nonsensical. From the ever-changing floorplan to the myriad of talking portraits (all of whom gave her wildly conflicting directions depending on which ones she asked), nothing about Hogwarts made any sense.

She was almost in tears by the time she reached another dead end. It was simply impossible to find one's way around a school like this; there were too many floors to navigate, too many disused classrooms and far too many staircases that led to nowhere. Not to mention, beyond its confusing floorplan and unbearably draughty rooms, the ancient hulking castle was rather ugly — by Aurélie's standards at least; the monolithic Gothic castle was so far removed from the elegance and charm of Beauxbatons that it seemed almost cruel that she should be forced to endure it at all. She could almost hear her best friend Céleste's reaction if she were with her now: 'Ugh, it's so awfully medieval. Stone Gargoyles? And all those uncouth English boys? I don't know which I find more barbaric!'

She almost smiled at the thought. But only almost — for thinking of her best friend only made her sad.

Shaking herself mentally, she shifted the weight of her books from one arm to the other and cast a despairing glance over her gloomy surroundings. She did not like thinking about her old life, least of all while she was lost in a labyrinth of spooky corridors and dingy classrooms on her very first day of school. 

'Which Merlin-forsaken floor is this, anyway?' she muttered to herself in French as a group of first years rounded the corner, giggling obnoxiously. She knew them as Slytherin's not by the green and silver of their robes, but by the way they skittered around her, unwilling to help though she was clearly in need.

Notoriously unfriendly was how her father had described the snakes. Unlike her maman, a Beauxbatons alumna — and later a professor of music — Aurélie's papa had attended Hogwarts in his youth, though he'd been a Hufflepuff: a badger, not a snake.

He'd have helped anyone in need — even a Slytherin.

Her heart gave an awful, sickening lurch at the thought of him. Oh, her wonderful papa: patient and good-humoured and endlessly curious and —

Dead. He's dead, Aurélie. Stop thinking about him.

Swallowing the lump in her throat, she trudged on determinedly, taking what felt like the hundredth set of stairs she'd already descended that morning while shame roiled in her stomach; she wasn't used to failing — not at tests, not at taking care of herself, and certainly not at something as simple as getting to class on time. Even the first years knew where they were going, for crying out loud, and they'd been here for just as short a time as she had!

When at last she found herself facing yet another dead end, she finally conceded defeat. Trying very hard not to cry, she adjusted her unflattering black robes (oh, to be dressed in fine blue silk again) and began to seriously consider how much trouble she'd be in if she just went back to bed. Or, more tempting still, how badly she'd be punished if she fled back to France and never returned to Hogwarts again, graduation be damned.

Because what did her education matter when her future was so unsure? What did anything matter when everything she knew had been taken from her?

But no, she couldn't leave Hogwarts; it was the safest place for her since her parents had died, and Professor Weasley, the Deputy Headmistress, had evoked the power of Merlin himself to secure her a place here at such short notice; apparently, it had not been an easy feat convincing Headmaster Black to take on a student with her reputation.

Aurélie sighed and squeezed her eyes closed. 'It's just for one year,' she muttered under her breath, repeating the phrase that had become her mantra. 'Just one year, that's all.'

'Unless you're trying to break into the Slytherin common room,' said an unexpected voice behind her, 'I'm going to assume you're lost.'

Aurélie whirled around so fast she whipped herself in the face with her long auburn braid. She hadn't always been a jumpy sort of person, but losing both parents at the same time had a way of making one rather fearful of unexpected voices in unfamiliar corridors.

The boy who stood before her had his wand held up to her chest; its tip glowed brightly red in front of his face, casting an ominous-looking hue over pale skin and flaxen hair. Almost immediately, Aurélie saw visions of dark shadows and searing red pain, scraps and flashes of fear, the sound of someone crying —

Not again.

For one dreadful, heart-stopping moment, she thought he meant to curse her —

Her palms tingled; a telltale sign that the forbidden magic in her blood was very much alive despite her efforts to suppress it — and very much wanted to be used.

Not again, please.

She stumbled backwards, but the boy made no move to attack. Instead, he simply stared at her. — No, not at her but through her. It was then that she noticed his eyes; milky white and translucent, gleaming like pearlescent orbs in his angular face.

He was blind.

'S-sorry,' Aurélie said a little breathlessly. 'I'm trying to find Defence Against the Dark Arts, but I'm afraid I...' She swallowed hard. 'I have no idea where I am.'

The boy chuckled, and though the sound was pleasant enough, it was undoubtedly more incredulous than amused. 'Oh my, you are lost, aren't you?'

Pinned to the breast pocket of his immaculate robes was a small badge engraved with the words Head Boy; even bathed under the red glow of his wand light, she could clearly make out the tiny snake etched onto its gleaming surface. Another Slytherin.

She'd known very little about the four Hogwarts houses before embarking on her unexpected stint at the school, but when the Sorting Hat had asked her if she'd had a preference, all she could think was that she didn't want to be part of a house whose emblem was a snake.

When Aurélie did not reply, he heaved an impatient sigh.

'You're the new Ravenclaw,' he said matter-of-factly. 'I must say, I didn't expect to find you all the way down here.'

The boy had a distinctly aristocratic air about him: haughty and vaguely displeased as all aristocratic types were loath to be, with fine, blonde hair slicked back from his face, high cheekbones and a sharp jawline that screamed of fine magical breeding. Aurélie wondered vaguely which noble family he was from, for she certainly knew a wealthy pureblood when she saw one; half of Beauxbatons was full of old ennobled wizarding families.

As she opened her mouth to ask him how he knew who she was, he cut her off —

'I recognise your accent,' he explained as if he'd read her thoughts. 'There aren't any other French students at Hogwarts.' His sharp, clipped voice was a stark contrast to his delicate features, and yet, there was something strangely unsettling about it that stirred something inside her. Something familiar. Something... unpleasant.

'Half French,' she corrected him, pushing the thought away. 'My father was English, mother was French. But — er, yes, I suppose I do sound different to everyone else.'

Having been bilingual all her life, Aurélie spoke both English and French fluently — but apparently, her French accent wasn't as undetectable as she'd hoped. She smoothed her clammy hands down the front of her awfully drab robes, acutely aware of how the boy's unseeing eyes seemed to pierce her with surprising intensity.

'Yes, well,' he drawled in a tone that suggested that he didn't particularly care about the finer details of her heritage. 'You're absolutely nowhere near the Defence floor. In fact, you're almost in the dungeons. Frankly, I'm baffled you managed to make it here from the Great Hall all by yourself. Why weren't you following your classmates?'

'Oh. I wasn't in the Great Hall. I came straight from my common room.'

Not entirely trusting that anything she ate would stay down for long, she'd opted to skip breakfast in the hall with the other students that morning and head straight to class instead. Though the few Ravenclaw's she'd met so far had seemed friendly enough, their interest in the new foreign transfer student made her uncomfortable. One particularly rambunctuous Ravenclaw boy whose name she couldn't recall had ogled her like she was an exotic beast and told her that Hogwarts never got transfer students — not ever.

'If I'd been made to be sorted in front of the entire school as a seventh year,' he had said, 'I would have died of humiliation.'

Inwardly, Aurélie had agreed with him, for she certainly didn't count the Sorting Ceremony as one of her favourite life experiences. Outwardly though, she'd only smiled politely and told him it hadn't been so bad before excusing herself to a quiet corner of the common room to sit alone.

She had no intention of making friends during her single year at Hogwarts. Given that she planned to head straight back to France the moment she graduated, the thought of making friends only to have to say goodbye to them was an ordeal she wasn't sure she could endure. But beyond that, she feared that should anyone find out the truth about why she'd transferred in the first place, well... It was better to be invisible than a source of gossip and speculation.

As a seventeen-year-old witch who hadn't achieved anything particularly extraordinary, Aurélie didn't think herself interesting by any stretch. But unfortunately, having ones family murdered by dark wizards certainly was — and that was not something she wanted to be known for.

'So you're telling me,' the boy said with an impatient huff, 'that you managed to get yourself from the Ravenclaw common room, one of the highest points in the castle, to the very lowest depths of the dungeons, and didn't at any point stop to think that perhaps you were headed in the wrong direction?' His translucent pupils gleamed red under the glow of his wand light. 'Nor did you think it prudent to eat something before you start studying for your N.E.W.T.s, the most important and difficult exam in a witch's educational career?' He shook his head in exasperation. 'And here I was thinking Ravenclaw's were supposed to be intelligent.'

Aurélie didn't quite know how to react to this outburst, but rather thought she'd been right to not want to be in the snake house. When she made no reply, the boy heaved another heavy sigh, clearly annoyed.

'Very well,' he sniffed. 'As Head Boy, I suppose it is my duty to help you, even though you ought to be old enough by now to look after yourself. Come along, then.'

With a final sneer, the boy turned on his heel and strode purposefully down the empty corridor. Despite her chagrin, Aurélie couldn't help but marvel at the way his wand seemed to act as a proxy for his sight; pulsing like a heartbeat, it lead him effortlessly through the maze of corridors that even she with her perfect vision couldn't seem to navigate. She hurried after him, silently chastising herself for being so useless that she had to be led to class by a blind boy.

'Ominis Gaunt, by the way,' he said once she'd caught up to him; he was rather a fast walker for someone who couldn't see where they were going.

'Oh, er — hello, I'm —'

'Aurélie Collins,' he cut in, pronouncing her first name the correct French way. 'Yes, I know who you are. Now, do pay attention, won't you? Defence Against the Dark Arts is on the third floor, not in the dungeons. Even I can tell this isn't the third floor, and I'm blind.'

Aurélie grimaced. Perhaps the Sorting Hat had made a mistake putting her into a house whose members were valued for being clever.

'So... you're Head Boy?' she asked timidly.

'That is what I said, isn't it?' came his sharp reply. 'And I'll have you know that I've quite enough to be getting on with today without needing to rescue stray Ravenclaws from the dungeons.'

'I didn't need rescuing,' she muttered under her breath, but Ominis only ignored her, and after a very tense silence and several staircases later, they came to a stop outside the correct classroom on the third floor.

'Do try not to get yourself so embarrassingly lost again, won't you?' he said tersely. 'I don't have time to babysit seventh years, I've enough first year drama to deal with as it is.'

And with that, he was away again, muttering darkly about Ravenclaw's and incompetence as he went, leaving Aurélie standing dumbfounded in his wake.

[burnoutsyndrometheseries]

Wanted to start this by saying that I usually agree with your opinions (or even when I don't, I can at least see where you're coming from) but that's not the case when it comes to your opinion on Only Friends because I completely disagree and just wanted to add my two cents. You said that it wasn't relatable to the queer community but I'm sorry, the queer community isn't a monolith, there isn't one universal way that every single queer friendship group functions. Just because it wasn't relatable to your experience, it doesn't mean that it wasn't relatable to many other queer people's experiences. For example, one of my friend groups consists of gay men and the stories they've told me (and some of which I witnessed with myself)? Not that far off from OF (aka everyone getting with everyone, behind people's backs as well, and most of them are still on friendly terms now). It's perfectly fine that you didn't personally relate but you can't say no queer person/community did.

I also saw depth to a lot of characters and I could relate to several of them in different ways and everything in the finale made sense to me for those characters. For me it achieved what it set out to do: entertain, while also make me connect/care about some of the characters. It didn't do that for everyone (you included) but please don't claim it's a "bad show" as a general statement just because you didn't get anything out of it because a lot of people did. (My friend who struggles with depression and is currently going through a depressive slump found comfort in seeing Ray progress to a point where he's much happier at the end of the series because it gives her hope that she can get to that point soon too.)

Is Only Friends a brilliant, amazing, showstopping, incredible show? No. But it's not bad, far from it. It certainly has its flaws but the sudden hate it's getting is not warranted imo.

hi, first of all, it's fine to disagree lol, though it's always a bit jarring to me when people feel the need to let me know they disagree with me bc clearly we simply have a different taste & opinion. when I share my opinion about a show, I do it on my blog but never go on others' blogs to either defend a show I liked or trash a show I didn't like, but anyways. I have NEVER, EVER said that the queer community is a monolith & that all queer representation needs to be relatable to ME. in fact, a lot of my favorite queer media are HIGHLY UN-relatable to me lol. I never implied that only friends' flaws comes from it being unrelatable or unrealistic? in fact I believe it to be realistic since it's made by queer men & has recurring topics that p'jojo especially has used in previous shows of his, especially since the story of only friends is inspired by real-life events. in fact I said that I WISH they'd have leaned into the queer community aspect of it even more bc it was the one point in which this show differentiates itself from friend zone, so yeah. don't really know where you got that notion from. secondly, like it or not, I can claim any shows I've watched are bad in my opinion. once again, media is subjective & I did not like only friends so for me it IS a bad show. is it the worst? no. did I HATE it? no. did I have a good time in front of it? also no. also from a writing standpoint I'm sorry it IS objectively bad and FAILED at what it set out to do, especially considering the show itself doesn't seem to know what it set out to do in the first place. moreover, sudden hate? I've been criticizing only friends since it started airing lol, I'm not jumping on any bandwagon, and in fact it's more so the fandom that's catching up to the fact that this show is not very good. now, I'm genuinely glad that this show helped you & your friend and that you liked it! that's great, of COURSE this show is gonna have its fans, and in fact it has a lot of them! however it seems to me as if you've taken my (justified) criticism of the show to heart for a reason that only you fully know, and I hope you can investigate why that is. I truly value you as a long time follower of mine & I hope you can agree to disagree with me on that one even though I must admit this ask seems a bit jarring & personal to me. wish you all the best :)

xxx

[kiruliom]

Omg THANK YOU. I am not a mogai coiner, however i rb agere flags to both my regressing blog and my caregiving blog. I archive all flags ( except rq flags /lh ) on my regressing one and i rb some for my partner on my caregiver blog.

I am also a no spoon haver and therefore i have no energy to look at every single pinned post.

I just had an anti endo dm me saying how i broke their dni which is fair but before i could start typing ( their first message was 20 minutes prior ) they dm'd me AGAIN saying how i didn't read their dni / pinned at all. I did read their dni, they have a DNI banner that has less info on it. And imo if you're gonna have a banner either have everything on it or nothing at all /lh

They were super demanding / impatient, fpr those 20 minutes i was off my phone and away from it, on top of that i am disabled i am not gonna respond to a strangers text right away.

They also said they didn't want their stuff on my blog.

On one hand i get it, but it would have been so much easier for everyone to just have blocked my blogs. On top of that it made me feel like i was being talked down to.

Not trying to make this a syscourse post at all , i would have been upset no matter their stance on it, i just ?? Its a flag, either share it or expect people to remake it /npa /nay

this!!!

the immediate claim of people being purposefully ignorant and bad faith or even just "stupid" is infuriating. some people dont have the energy to read every dni which is several clicks away.

I dont even have the energy to open a vpn to go on discord (max like 4 clicks) when literally all my friends are there and that used to be my main communication site until recently. I dont think everyone has the energy and spoons to do the same for every stranger blog on this site.

and yeah its best to at least have the people ur most concerned abt interacting in ur banner at least. (ie terfs, rqueers, whatever side of syscourse ur on, etc.). if you just have idk homophobes ableists, thats very vague and people who you consider to be ableist or homophobic dont always consider themselves homophobic or ableist yk.

dnis are okay, however theyve historically not worked very well (I got a lot less rqs interacting since I switched from saying rqs dni to saying rqs will be reported on sight on relevant posts) and are also generally inaccessible, especially if youre not enforcing them actively and just hope the people on internet who you dont like and will not tolerate will respect YOUR boundaries. some will, because no group is a monolith, but theres also a lot of mean people out there yk.

[cy-cyborg]

It's always baffling to me how people who are not part of a community feel so confident telling members of that community what is and isn't a slur for their group. As an example, my "cripple is a slur" post seems to be getting a second-wind and 99.99% of the interactions are positive or people asking questions to clarify (which is a good thing!) But there's also been a number of folks coming to yell "um actually, it's not a slur!" too. And like, the ones who are part of the community, I don't mind. We aren't a monolith, and people are allowed to have different opinions.

But the ones who come across these posts that are basically long explanations about why the community doesn't like a word and generally call it a slur, and just say "no it's not" confuse me. Not in an "I'm upset" way either, but in a way that just genuinely makes me laugh. Like ah yes, you, random person who is not affected by this in any way shape or form who had never even heard of the word being considered a slur before today and has responded to my long post explaining how myself and others within the community are affected by its use with "nu uh!" - obviously, you are the one we should be listening to, lmao. Your persuasion skills are truly unmatched, lol.

The majority of them are probably trolls, but I've said it before and I'll say it again, if you're going to shit-stir, at least be good at it lol.

[sophieinwonderland]

Do We Really Have To Do This Again?

Okay, guess we have to. 😔

And no. Someone else might block these. Personally, I prefer to respond with debunking posts that are sent to the anti-endo tags, because if anti-endos are going to purposefully invade our tags to attack endogenic systems, anti-endos are sure going to see the responses.

Now, to your concerns...

Most of this seems to be a vent about a bad therapist not taking obvious signs of DID seriously. And then trying to ascribe blame to the endogenic community for this somehow.

And this is... really weird. @the-chaos-crew doesn't seem to actually know what they're complaining about.

The vast majority of endogenic systems aren't "trying to be debilitated." Most don't claim to have any sort of dissociative disorder nor are they seeking treatment for it.

Frankly, it seems like you're confusing "endogenic systems" with "imitated DID." The latter being a largely fictitious or over-exaggerated group of alleged DID fakers. I've debunked this concept in the past:

If you notice, the people these papers use as an example often say they were traumatized, and talk about that trauma. Especially in the group they decide is just BPD.

And if you pay attention to a lot of the TikTok DID systems people love to fakeclaim, these too generally mention childhood trauma. Most are actually anti-endos, funny enough.

Endogenic systems are a group that's usually non-disordered and by definition, not traumagenic.

So-called imitated-DID cases, where much of the fakeclaiming originates, generally ARE traumagenic by their own reports, and obviously disordered.

These are two largely different demographics.

That's not to say you should get mad at the so-called Imitated DID systems either. The very concept of Imitated DID was mostly driven by ableism, politics at the time, and trying to protect therapists from malpractice lawsuits.

There's No Indication DID is Less Likely To Be Diagnosed Today

In the 90s, DID was renamed, a ton of psychiatrists decided it must be a fad, "Imitated DID" theory caught on to explain away false positives. Fewer people were diagnosed for a while.

To my knowledge, there's been no evidence DID has been diagnosed less since the term endogenic was coined in the late 2010s, or that endogenic systems have any impact that would prevent people from being diagnosed.

Sometimes a bad therapist is just a bad therapist.

Well if your therapist who tells you not worry about your memory gaps and blackouts says something, it MUST be true! /s

Meanwhile, here is what the creators of the Theory of Structural Dissociation have said:

And here is what the ICD-11, the diagnostic manual compiled by the World Health Organization, says about being able to have multiple distinct personality states without a dissociative disorder.

Again... maybe you just have a bad therapist.

But you already knew that, didn't you?

Just Going Total r/fakedisordercringe

TLDR; "I know some people with these disorders, therefore I know how EVERYONE with these disorders behaves."

Putting aside the fakeclaiming of systems in the rest of the post, this is also a terrible way to treat mental illnesses. People with mental disorders are not a monolith. While there may be some who mis-self-diagnose, simply knowing someone with a mental illness doesn't give you magic insight into everyone with that illness.

What's more, not everyone will expose their debilitating symptoms for you to know they're really disordered. Some people have learned to adapt or to hide. And especially if you're on the internet, you may only be interested in sharing the positive experiences.

You don't know how someone struggles offline or in their personal lives, so stop pretending you do.

Seeking Therapy For Non-Disorders

Do you understand how that would be counterproductive to the whole premise of this post?

You're supposedly upset about endogenic system stealing resources from systems. How would non-disordered systems seeking therapy for being systems do anything but exacerbate the problem you think exists?

Here's the thing... normally, I wouldn't care if you want to vent. Even if that vent is contradictory and nonsensical as this was. Clearly, you're in a lot of pain right now.

But you made a conscious choice to go into endo safe tags to intentionally hurt other people. And that's not acceptable.

So I'm going to ask the anti-endo community to explain to @the-chaos-crew why we don't crosstag. That way, I don't have to keep coming into their spaces every single time anti-endos break containment and come into ours to spread hate against us.

Stay out of our tags, and I'll stay out of yours.

[jackie-of-all-spades]

Oh my god you sound like a pompous ass with a fixation on Jews. Piss off.

Alright a nice and timely bit of hate, from I'm guessing either Spacelazarwolf or Slyandthefamilybook, but who knows and it doesn't really matter.

Here is a breakdown of everything that just happened. I came across a post denouncing antisemitism by someone I follow. A good message save for the fact that it was essentially worded

"If your not Jewish agree that antisemitism is bad as if this conversation took place in a bubble, or you suck"

I then agreed that yes, antisemitism is bad, but refused to pretend any speech occurs in a bubble free of the context of the world around us and the events that transpire in it, soooooo, while yes antisemitism is bad maybe we should also have a discussion about how a particular state in the middle east is attempting to turn the multiple Jewish denominations, and multiple Jewish ethnic identies as well as that state into a Monolith so that criticizing any constituent part of that list constitutes criticizing the entirety.

(I'll admit my initial response was a little more wise ass in tone than it probably needed to be, I don't responde well to posts telling me to "say what I want you to only then shut up")

The response I then received for wanting to also talk about the Israeli state trying to turn the diaspora into something like the monolith that neo-nazis and antisemites paint them as when they say "the jews", and how that is probably a bad thing likely to result in more of the antisemitism that they were asking people to condem as that far right government carries out terrible actions; was, "shut up forever" before i was blocked or it was deleted. Not exactly sure which since I can't look at spacelazarwolfs blog who I'm guessing blocked me, though I think that response was from sly. Regardless the response was essentially

No, I don't want to, shut the fuck up and never talk to me again

So, not exactly the response I'd expect from someone who was genuinely just trying to promote awareness of the growing problem of antisemitism.

As for your charge there anon about me having a fixation on jews. I don't, i do have a fixation on history though the thing I care about is the dual rises in both Identitarianism, and the violence that historically follows a push of that mindset. Whether that's white guys attacking and assaulting people with Hispanic names or dark skin in my country, the use of Russian Nationalism and pride for defeating the nazi's being used by putin to try and claim land and eradicate an ethnic minority, or ethno-religious nationalism from the Israeli state widening the definition of antisemitism to use it as cover to do the very same thing to its neighboring ethnic groups that the states founders wanted a state to be protected from ever experiencing again.

Conversations don't happen in a bubble... those that try to force a conversation to occur in a bubble have an agenda, and I've found, It's usually one that historically you should be wary of because they are trying to hide something.

And with that. May those pushing antisemitism get punched in the face as all Nazi's and antisemites should, and may Palestine be free and it's people find justice.

[touchlikethesun]

re my last reblog, some more thoughts: a lot of the people in the notes (at time of writing) seem to think that a lot of the negative feelings younger fans have towards older (mostly) women in fandom has to do with this idea that the kids don't think older women have/should have a sexuality. and i'm sure there are some young fans who do think like that, i won't deny that. however, i think it is unhelpful to think of any one group online either behaving as a monolith or acting with purposeful prejudice. i also think that, while things have not changed so much, i doubt any person active in fandom spaces over the age of 13 genuinely thinks older women don't have a sexuality, and behaving like they do is likely to only stall conversations and put people on the defensive. i have seen comments from younger fans to the effect of "what are you a mother of two doing writing slash fic" and of course i understand how that sounds like ageism and sexism - and it is, like that is an ageist and sexist thing to say - but i think acting like the kids just don't view you as a person so screw 'em is ngl equally ageist and misses what's at the root of the why, why younger fans feel and act the way they do. (and spoiler! it's not because they genuinely believe that older women don't have hobbies)

i already typed out a lot of me feelings on the why in the tags of my lrb and i don't feel like typing it out again, but basically it has more to do with problems with authority and perceived hierarchy (that older fans don't help when they get all Kids These Days and Respect Your Fandom Elders - not that everyone does get like that but enough people do don't lie to yourself) and with anti-culture pushing insane and contrived notions of purity

as a last point, i think older fans should try and remember what it was like to be 13/14/15 etc., how angsty you were how rude you were how pretentious you were, and think about why you acted the way that you acted. were you acting up because you were truly a spiteful person? or were you acting up because you were going thru a lot of difficult times and struggling to figure out who you were and your place in this world, with or without a true support system to rely on? i'm not saying we should all just lie down and let the kids walk all over us and dictate how fandom spaces should be run, but i think it would go a long way if everyone took a deep breath and recognised that nine times out of ten, someone acts the way they do because they are trying to protect themselves. the right way to react is not to get defensive, but to, without budging on your own principals and boundaries, show that the space they are in is a safe one.

[classicjdiesandgoestohell]

Extremely Unnecessarily Long Disjointed Ramble About My Identity

ive never felt happy with my queer identity at all. i know you dont need labels but being labeless wasnt freeing either, it never felt any better.. not any worse, but just the same feeling of ambivalence to my own existence.

one thing i never see discussed is the influence of community in how you describe yourself. this is so obvious, we talk about this with peer pressure and other personality traits, but its heavily affected my queer identity too. my sexuality has always been kinda fuzzy, ive been bouncing between being bi and lesbian and gay since the beginning of time, but between those 3 groups the appeal of the lesbian community was always so much higher. i liked the sense of closeness i never experienced in my trans/gay/bi identity, i liked how more trans inclusive it felt, my lesbian friends were always much more proud of their identities than other people, i liked the freedom of not being at all shackled to men. But i dont really know if lesbian fits my sexuality. no fucking clue. i just know socially id rather be a lesbian in social circles than anything else. i feel like an imposter almost. when i identify as bi i dont feel like an imposter, but im always really unhappy with the choice and feel like it doesnt accurately represent me at all. i dont feel like i relate to other bi people.

with my transness.. for 3 years i ID'd as a binary trans man. it never felt quite right, i felt like i didnt try hard enough to be a man, there were too many things i held onto from living as a girl that i didnt know if id ever want to let go. i switched to thinking of myself as nonbinary transmasc, not really at all connected to feminity but not strictly calling myself a man. this was alright but i always felt the indecisiveness of sometimes wanting to be a man and sometimes wanting to be free from it all together, it didnt feel good either. right now ive abandoned any notions of gender, just that im not a Girl, and whether that means im feminine or masculine or androgynous it doesnt matter. this is maybe the worst ive ever felt about my gender and has affirmed to me i probably am at least transmasc, if not completely a trans Man.

ive always rlly felt the shame of being transmasc. i feel like i betrayed womanhood or whatever even though i didnt fit into that either. i was an ugly obvious outlier in any space i tried to be a girl. i think id rather be a girl, i see the appeal of it so much more. i feel stupid for not wanting to be a girl when i enjoy the experience so much more. even though i Know identity is not something you choose, even though i Know every single person has a different thing thats right for them, it feels so much more justified to me to want to be a girl - whether you have to transition that way or were just born into it - than to want anything to do with masculinity. i dont know.

i have some internalized hatred to work out but it sucks when i see people reinforcing it. terfs call testosterone evil and talk about trans men betraying womanhood. transmascs frequently say stupid shit online (transmisogny, as well as generally being insanely discourse minded), and i know im not the monolith, im not the whole group, but it makes me feel stupid for wanting to be grouped with those people. this definitely ties into my completely unrelated issue of feeling personally responsible for shit that i didnt do, for people pleasing all the time and my desire to be liked by literally everyone. And then also in my head i go Ahhhh youre dividing people into arbitrary categories again... Youre deciding certain archetypes of transmasc suck even when you dont know the person personally and then i feel disappointed in myself again for being so generalizing. especially when i understand how they got to those conclusions or have thought them myself at some point.

now 90% of my friends are trans girls and its changed my perception of community again. i feel like transmascs dont have the same sense of closeness like that, or maybe we do, and i just dont feel it since i dont engage with my own community much anymore. maybe as an outsider i percieve more solidarity than actually exists (although between my friends & social media discourse im not at all unaware of infighting). maybe i just feel left out or lost wherever i go i guess. maybe it is just a me issue.

to add onto the i dont engage with my own community bit, i remember when i used to follow many transmasc artists and all their ocs and such were transmasc too. i strayed away from this for a few reasons. i remember some discourse in 2022 about how trans male artists get so much more attention online and how no one supports trans womens art, and i felt bad almost for engaging with my own community. i know that other peoples communities are not a threat to my own, and ive always supported trans womens art too, but i felt bad about the 1 single time i ever felt connected to other trans men. i felt bad consuming all this male content, and consequently stopped. that was also around the same time my sexuality shifted from feeling like a gay or bi man, to being a nonbinary lesbian, so i felt disconnected from a lot of gay transmasculine art as well.

a lot of my issue with identity is discourse and its so stupid man. i know its stupid to say out loud but constantly being surrounded by it gets to my head sometimes. it feels especially stupid as someone who doesnt even rlly engage with it, instead i just read thread after thread reply after reply and feel Bad with no outlet. i remember over the years seeing posts about how people drawing transmasc surgery scars felt empty and meaningless, because it didnt attempt to represent any other part of the transmasculine experience and i felt bad for enjoying that symbol. i loved seeing top scars in art and on people and then i felt weird about it, even though logically i know the importance of those things is not diminished by random people online saying its Hollow.

it always feels like discourse tries to pit trans men and women against eachother and it sucks. (with obvious exceptions, sometimes trans men really are ignorant & talking over or erasing transmisogny). ive never once with my transfem friends felt like i was at odds against them. learning other peoples experiences is extremely important to me, and ive often found we have very similar experiences too, even on stuff i wouldnt expect to have parallels for. it sucks that i literally go outside and touch grass everyday and interact with Real Queer People, and yet still the discourse worms infest themselves into my brain...

being completely unlabeled and being free is fine in a box, until im forced to adhere back to reality by the fact i live with other people. i can think of my own actions as genderless or etc in my own bubble, maybe even with friends, but when i go back into the world and am crammed and perceived into places i dont want to be, i feel bad again. maybe i havent experienced the true joys of being labeless when i still care about peoples perception of me. its hard not to when its your everyday at school and work.