#and after tfw i think i have a reasonable chance of being right about some sub-functions buddying up with humans

[randomnameless]

imma vent about that bit with the empire making claims on the relics bc it really pisses me off for some reason lmao

First, I think Rhea should have never allowed Fodlans people to keep any of the sacred weapons or relics.

After everything she's seen and experienced, centuries of seeing humans fuck up and commit endless atrocities , how can she give these weapons to humanity KNOWING how prone to corruption they are ?! knowing the chances of them abusing that power is so high.

Like they already have crests (stolen from her kin) that extend their lifespan and give their bodies power. Is this not enough? They already abuse crests, do they need powerful weapons to abuse too?

Even more hilarious is that it's Willy's descendents doing it.

Anyway!

If anyone should be seizing those sacred weapons and heros relics it should be the Nabateans. It does NOT belong to anyone else.

Honestly the whole thing just pisses me off. Not only is it irresponsible on Rhea's part (who IMO should have spent her centuries seizing every relic , sacred weapon, and Crest stone) , but the Empire pulling that shit reminds me of Europeans stealing artifacts and making claims on them when it was never theirs.

And Of course it's the Imperialist Adrestian Empire thats going around waging wars of conquest that's stealing sacred artifacts and making claims on them when it DOES NOT BELONG TO THEM . Hilarious that edelstans think their waifu and corrupt Adrestian Empire is even remotely progressive.

Ooh !

I think the relic thing is more or less explained/revealed in Nopes, or at least one of the reasons the families recovered the relics.

Iirc, a Gautier Leader "reclaimed" it to fight back against Sreng ? From pk we also have this (Googled I know :() :

As long as you use the power of the emblem correctly, the Lord will protect you.

When she fights with crested (from the Elites) allies. Now jury's out in the "use the power of the emblem correctly", but imo, it shows how to Rhea, humans can still be trusted to do "right" things.

Leti Gautier was given the relic to protect her border (iirc isn't matthias worried in Fe16 the CoS will recover the relic after the Miklan issue ?), idk, why and how the other houses came to recover their relic though.

As for the sacred weapons, some of them were most likely forged for humans (tfw no brawling Cichol) or given to trusted allies, so it would kind of make sense those allies gave them to people they trusted, etc etc (unless it was a nabatean loan ?).

I still don't think Rhea gave crest stones to people though, it's way too personal and cannot be used by humans- the ones if Tru Piss aren't explained where they came from, is it from Cornelia's own stash who kept some harvested eons ago in Zanado, or Rhea "saved" some before escaping Garreg Mach ?

Imo it's the same "mistake" Sothis herself did with the Agarthans, teach them stuff most likely because she liked them and trusted them, but they turned that tech against her. Rhea lends weapons to humans to protect themselves and do "correct things", and they turn (Tru Piss and Golden Shower special mention) against her, using the very same weapons.

It's her fatal flaw, but also the one that helped her survive after Zanado, Rhea is shown to always trust humans, and in the events of the Fodlan games, we see that trust being misplaced.

Seiros the Warrior trusted Willy (with her brother's shield) and in turn he saved and supported her. House Fraldarius was entrusted with her sister's shoulder plate, and now their motto is to be their land's "shield". Mercedes uses the power Lamine stole to heal the wounded and support people. Ultimately, both VW, AG and AM see Rhea's trust being rewarded as the people with relics, humans she trusted, ultimately save her life.

Granted, the dark side of the moon comes from Adrestia, people who were trustworthy once and haven't been since a long time lol. But is it bcs Ionius used a shiny axe to chop house hrym to pieces for the grave sin of disagreeing with him that house Goneril's shiny weapon to protect their land and people from Almyrans who want to "snatch souvenirs" should be removed ?

Back to the paternalism post, say Rhea prevented humans from crossing the street, telling them 1100 times to wait until the light for pedestrians is green. She lets them cross the street on their own for the first time. Adrestia is hit by the first car, crossing when cars have their green lights. Leicester is hit by the fifth one, and Faerghus hasn't been hit once, always looking right and left and waiting for the pedestrian light.

Was it a mistake to let them cross the street on their own ?

About Adrestia, what I found fascinating from that random is how (s?)he thinks the church's shinies belongs to the Empire, when even during the WoH both church and empire worked together, but were separate entities. What kind of nonsense was this random fed, or worse, this Npc really believes in MAGA, pushing the step further and thinking even the Church of Seiros was part of Adrestia ? They bought the "Willy was on top" Adrestian smut regarding his relation with Seiros the Warrior ?

I'd say it's a bit different from the European razzia on artifacts, back then the excuse used was "those people obviously won't know how to preserve them besides I found it first they don't count", but Adrestia's mindset seems to be the general imperialism/revanchist one "it used to be part of me once so everything they have belongs to me".

[subfunctions]

Horizon Zero Dawn OC: Yara

Inspired by 1) my theory that at least one other subordinate function has probably found a human to buddy up with and 2) my theory that MINERVA will be the first subordinate function to emerge as an ally to Aloy.

Loosely inspired by these lines of “The Mountain Poem: Words Spoken in Contemplation” by Ibrahīm Ibn Khafāja, following the lines you can find in Metal Flower Mark II (F):

And through the night, that tongueless mountain uttered marvelous things: "How much more time in space? How long have I been the assassin's safehouse And sheltered hermits from the human race?"

But mostly just an exercise in character creation, as in: if I had the task of creating a character to be the human partner and counterpoint to a subordinate function, what would that character be like?

My other self-appointed parameters were to create someone who’s a bit of a foil to Aloy and Sylens both, so: someone who chose isolation rather than being subjected to it, and someone whose interest in knowledge is specialized rather than general, while maintaining a moral compass.

--

(face claim: Grace Mahary)

Name: Yara Gender: Female Tribe: Utaru Age: 23 at time of main game

Notable Physical Traits: Though Yara keeps prominent Utaru elements in her attire, her usual outfit is a practical mixture of Utaru and Banuk styles, something she’s put together to guard against the months of cold in the home she’s settled in. Due to contracting polio as a child, her right leg is stunted and partially paralyzed; she walks with a cane and wears an adjustable brace made of machine parts on her leg.

Personality: Intellectually minded and gifted, Yara’s great love is the sky and what lies behind it - the vast expanse of space beyond the planet, which she has dedicated her life to studying. She is endlessly curious about the greater workings of the universe and how her world fits into it, and with the eventual help of a Focus and later MINERVA, she’s made progress in uncovering a fraction of the universe’s secrets. Because of certain traumatic events in her life and a bloody history that she is not entirely proud of, she prefers to keep to herself and keep only MINERVA’s company, craving solitude and her studies. However, her Utaru roots are evident, not only in her love of the natural world but in a generosity of spirit, from which that bloody history sprung - an inability to sit there and do nothing in the face of the Red Raids and the losses her people suffered because of them. 

Relationship With MINERVA: Yara found MINERVA in the wake of tragedy, and the subordinate function’s eagerness to help and learn endeared her to Yara and gave them a common ground. She feels as if she owes MINERVA for stabilizing her during such a turbulent time in her life and giving her something to live for - a renewed love for the universe and a friend she could relate to. MINERVA, similarly, was able to stabilize developmentally because of Yara’s friendship, finding companionship and purpose in Yara after she had no purpose left, as she is the only subordinate function whose job was completely finished. 

Songs: Inner Space - Apex The Warpath - Conner Youngblood Cover Your Tracks - Young Galaxy

--

Bio: 

Yara was born to the Northland clan of the Utaru in 3017, a clan composed of several extended families, Yara’s among them. In 3020, when she was three years old, a distant mountain exploded, its lingering cloud visible even as far as her clan’s riverside village in the northern part of Plainsong, once known as the Great Plains of western Nebraska. A few months later, in the winter, an illness known to the Utaru as the Strength Eater, and known to the Old Ones as polio, spread throughout the clans gathered together for the annual celebration of the harvest. Many survived its onslaught intact. However, some died, their breath stolen away by the Strength Eater, and a few were left permanently weakened afterwards.

Yara’s father was among those who died, and Yara herself was left with a paralyzed and stunted right leg. For the rest of her life, she would need a cane to walk, and Utaru ingenuity in redesigning machine parts into farming tools saw her outfitted with a brace as well. Over time, the complications of walking with a stunted leg would curve her spine and weaken her bones and muscles as well, and she was never able to participate in the labor-intensive work of farming to the same degree that others did. However, she had little interest in it. She had some talent in hunting with bow and arrow, a less central but still important part of sustaining the clan, but she often had little patience for it.

Her mother often called her a child of the earth with her eyes to the sky. While the Utaru revered the act of tending to the earth and drawing sustenance from it, Yara was more interested in the tableau high above – the stars and the moon in the nighttime, the sun in the daytime, and what it all meant. She could often be found sneaking away from chores during the day to observe the sky and sneaking away from the village at night to make amateur star charts.

The Utaru respected the Old Ones as forebears who lived on in the earth. Yara was interested in them for what they may have known about the answers she sought from the sky. Sometimes, relics of the Old Ones would be found in the ground, when soil was overturned and crops were harvested. These were always buried adjacent to the graves of the Utaru, out of respect for the dead. However, Yara had little such sense of propriety, and when one of her cousins found a still-active Focus during planting season, nine-year-old Yara snuck out at night to dig it up and secretly keep it.

The Focus showed her wonders and helped her to understand much – that the sun was also a star like the tiny pinpricks of the night, that the night sky was richer than she imagined and filled with things that she could not see with her eyes. The Focus couldn’t show the majority of them to her either, however, and though her star charts grew more sophisticated and digitally archived with its help, a vague sense of dissatisfaction grew, a desire to know more.

Meanwhile, both the exploding of the mountain and the sudden onset of illness during a time of celebration were seen as omens, a view that was further reinforced over the next decades as the machines grew hostile, as new machines began to appear, as the already unpredictable seasonal patterns of Plainsong became much more so, and as the Red Raids swept across the land.

In 3032, four years into the Red Raids, when the edges of Plainsong had already been attacked by the Carja and gifts of grain had not appeased the raiders, tragedy struck the Northland clan. A group of raiders hit the village in the middle of the night, killed some clan members, and took others. Among those killed was Yara’s mother, and among those taken were two of Yara’s cousins, and an aunt and uncle.

Fifteen-year-old Yara, however, was not there. As was habit, she’d snuck out of the village as night fell to work on her star charts and stargaze to her heart’s content. She was far enough away that she didn’t hear the attack, but she saw the fires that the raiders left in their wake and raced back far too slow and too late.

Wracked with grief and survivor’s guilt and bitterly angry, Yara realized that her Focus would give her an advantage that others didn’t have and tried to convince the leaders of the clan to pursue the raiders, whom she could easily track. However, the Utaru were peaceful and ill-suited for war, and the clan had lost many that night, both to death and to kidnap. No collective decision was made to go after their taken kin, and so no one wanted to go.

Furious, Yara struck out on her own. Her Focus helped her to track the raiders and find food and game and water along the way; however, her leg slowed her down, and she was only able to catch up with a group of raiders that had parted ways with those returning to the Sundom with their captives. The group was heading northwest towards the Cut when Yara caught up with them.

She was right; the Focus gave her an advantage that seemed almost supernatural without context, and she killed three Carja raiders before they even knew what hit them. However, Yara was a teenage girl with a bad leg, and the other raiders regrouped and turned the tide. Yara found herself fleeing their vengeance. She stumbled through a forested area sheltered by mountain ranges – once known as Medicine Bow National Forest – and she was only able to avoid the clutches of the raiders because of her Focus.

There, a strange signal drew her in – a tallneck wreathed in a deep blue-purple glow, circling a lake in front of the lone mountain jutting out of the center of the area, known to the Old Ones as Libby Lake and Sugarloaf Mountain. From it, a voice spoke, unlike anything Yara had ever heard. It was strangely formal, limited in vocabulary, and difficult to understand, but it seemed excited to encounter a human with a Focus.

Yara asked the voice for help, and it acquiesced. The tallneck broke its circuit and moved to a place where Yara could climb up. With her bad leg, she could only make it to the top of the machine’s back, but even that was high enough to avoid the eyes of approaching raiders.

However, Yara was still hungry for retribution, and though it might have been safer to wait silently and let the raiders pass, she rained down arrows from above, killing three more before what was left of them figured out where she was. The last few were no match for a colossal machine, and even as they sought to return fire, the tallneck itself stepped in, crushing most of them, and the last raider fell with Yara’s arrow in his neck.

Afterwards, Yara felt empty and drained and small. Though she was glad that some of the ruthless Carja were dead and could hurt no one else, the act of vengeance brought her no happiness. Her mother was still dead, and her other family members were well on their way to the Sundom, out of Yara’s reach now that she was exhausted and already so slow. Her childish thoughts of rescuing her still-living family members were gone, drowned in a horrible sadness.

However, the voice pulled her out of her miserable thoughts. It introduced itself as MINERVA, an artificial intelligence, and though MINERVA was secretive about where she came from and why she was there, it was apparent that she felt lonely and without purpose. She was eager to learn from Yara, as much as Yara was eager to learn from her.

But Yara’s missing family members still weighed on her mind, until MINERVA offered to help her find them. And so began a lasting partnership.

Yara learned that MINERVA could take control of machines, something called override, though machines that weren’t tallnecks would begin to break down and eventually stop working when she did. Yara and MINERVA trekked through the Longroam and past the Sacred Land, wearing out overridden machines and avoiding contact with humans. With MINERVA’s abilities, tracking was even easier, and they made their way into the Sundom, towards Meridian, where MINERVA said that she would be able to scan the city through their Spire, a powerful tool that was actually hers.

However, in the time that it took to reach Meridian undetected and disguised, it was too late. The rest of Yara’s taken family members had died in Sun-Ring days before she and MINERVA arrived, and the bodies of the Sun-Ring’s victims were burned, erasing even Yara’s hopes of burying them.

Despondent, Yara wondered what path to take from there. She considered vengeance, perhaps even against the highest of the Carja, but she was tired physically and emotionally, and though MINERVA’s abilities and existence were a marvel, they were only two people in a land not their own. She considered returning to Plainsong and to her clan, but she found herself with little desire to.

In the time that she and MINERVA had spent together, they’d learned a little about each other – as much as MINERVA was willing to disclose on her part, at least. Knowing that Yara loved the sky and the stars, MINERVA suggested a place for her to visit, a place that MINERVA had found not too long ago – something called an observatory, built by the Old Ones to study everything beyond the borders of the planet, one of the few still standing in the area.

Yara agreed, and as they left to make their way back the way they had come, they stumbled across two Banuk escaping Meridian. Yara did not make contact with them, but - seized by the desire to help - she and MINERVA shadowed them quietly. Yara killed three Carja in pursuit before the escaping Banuk were even aware of the danger, and MINERVA was able to keep machines off of their backs, all the way back up to the Longroam and beyond.

There, Yara realized what she could do. This area, she had learned from what she and MINERVA had overheard in the Sundom, was a common route for Carja seeking to reach the Banuk and Plainsong, a way to circumvent the fierce Nora and the Claim. And out here, without the protection of their land and their army, the Carja were vulnerable.

First, Yara let MINERVA take her to the observatory, a place once known as the Wyoming Infrared Observatory, atop a mountain a little southeast of where she’d met MINERVA, well southeast of the Cut, and north of the Longroam. It was dilapidated and crumbling, but MINERVA believed that with time and effort, enough of it could be restored to bring its system back online and make use of it. Yara asked if it was possible for MINERVA to monitor the Longroam and the area north and south of it as she had monitored Meridian through the Spire. It was possible, MINERVA told her, but only with the proper tools.

So began a years-long effort to restore the observatory and patrol the Longroam. Under MINERVA’s guidance, Yara learned quickly about programming and transmission, and it didn’t take long for her to set up a makeshift monitoring system throughout the area with MINERVA’s help and some recommissioned machine parts and tallneck apparatuses.

Yara was a little more hesitant about the observatory, feeling a deep survivor’s guilt about being far away stargazing when the Carja attacked, but with MINERVA’s insistence and coaxing, the observatory was eventually back up and running, as much as was possible. The night sky opened up for Yara as it never had before, and she was able to discover stars and deep sky objects revealed by infrared imaging and spectroscopy. Her star charts became a study of space, as much of it as she and MINERVA could understand on their own, from bits of data gathered from old sources.

For six years, until 3038, there were rumors about the Longroam and the surrounding area. Some said it was a machine that stalked any Carja who ventured near. Some said it was a spirit, some a person. But many raiders who set foot in that area were killed, either by arrow or strange machines, so much that the Longroam had a reputation for safe passage for anyone fleeing the Carja. Travelers and those who escaped the Sundom would often find themselves unknowingly shielded and watched over by vigilant eyes.

Yara and MINERVA together were known primarily as the Ghost of the Longroam, though some Carja called the mysterious entity who haunted the place the Devil or Shadow of the Longroam, and some from other tribes called it the Guardian or the Shield of the Longroam.

Yara, with MINERVA’s help, made sure that she was rarely seen, and no raider who came looking for the mysterious killer in the Longroam ever found her. She made little effort to reach out to anyone else in the meantime. She made only one trip back to Plainsong, to tell her clan that she was alive and that the others were dead. Although they entreated her to stay, she refused. She was content with MINERVA’s company, with the stars, with her makeshift home in her mountain observatory.

However, the Sundom changed. With the death of the old king and the ascension of the new, there was no longer a need to patrol the Longroam.

So Yara turned her attention wholly to her work with MINERVA, mapping the sky together. There they remained for the next two years, undisturbed, until MINERVA, more alarmed than Yara had ever seen her, registered an unauthorized use of the Spire – a call that was raising ancient machines. It was soon quieted, however, and though MINERVA had remained secretive about her origins over the years, she broke her silence for the first time – mentioning Project Zero Dawn and insisting on the urgency of finding its Alpha Prime, whose existence MINERVA had only just become aware of.

Though Yara was reluctant to leave the peace of her home, she trusted and loved MINERVA more than she loved their solitude, and she agreed to help MINERVA with a new task: tracking down whoever this Alpha Prime was.

[unnuevosoltransformalarealidad]

Dream Paralysis

Picture found on Google

Summary: After years of not having them, you experienced again a dream paralysis, but this time it was different, a demon was taking advantage of it and hurting you.

Pairing: TFW x Sister!Reader

Warnings: Dream Paralysis, lack of sleep, bruises, scrapes, thoughts of self-harm, demons

Word Count: 2184

Request

A/N: This was requested by the lovely @supernerdycookietrashblr. I'm so so sorry for the delay but life got in the middle and I had some problems with writing and finding inspiration to do it. I just hope you like this 💖

Everything started when you were on a hunt and you decided to sleep on the couch because Dean was slightly injured and Sam, well, it’s really hard to share a bed with Sam.

Your sleeping habits weren’t the best, but still, you tried to catch some sleep when you were out on hunts, because if not, you were going to get very grumpy and develop a bad migraine, and clearly your brothers hated when that happened.

You had woken up with a large bruise on your left arm, it was weird because you hadn’t been hit during that hunt, you didn’t give much attention, probably it was just because you’d slept on the couch. Dean didn’t think the same thing, he got very angry with you for being reckless on the hunts. He never let you explain why you had it, he just grounded you for the next hunt. You weren’t able to help them in the hunt, but you needed to go with them, you were in your senior year and there was no one who could stay with you while they hunt. Usually, when this happened, Castiel was the one who took care of you while your brothers were gone, if not you would’ve stayed with either Sam or Dean.

On the following hunt, you were left behind, Dean never gave you the chance to talk about it, so you went to Sam. The problem was that they were always together, you needed to get Sam alone to actually talk because if Dean was around, it was going only to be him telling his frustrations. Dean and Castiel went to talk with the medical examiner, this hunt had a bright sign of a werewolf in town, but they needed clues to figure out who was doing all the killings. This was the moment to talk with Sam, it was your only chance. “Hey, can I talk to you?” you approached him, “yeah, what’s going on?” you sighed, “Dean grounded me and I didn’t have the chance to explain myself” you admitted, “He might have his reason and you know I can change his mind, but I’m all ears,” he said, “I didn’t get hit on the last hunt, I woke up with the bruise. I’m pretty sure I got it because of the horrid couch I’ve slept,” you explained. You could see that he didn’t believe you one hundred percent, but he was right, he couldn’t change Dean’s mind. “I know you didn’t get hit on the last hunt, and I know you weren’t reckless as Dean said, and maybe you’re right, but Dean is doing this just to protect you.” he explained, “but It’s okay baby, I will talk with him,” he said.

As it was expected, that night you stayed with Castiel while Sam and Dean followed a possible lead. Since your brothers weren’t with you and you had two beds to choose from, it was the perfect time to get some actual sleep in a comfortable position and showed Dean that sleeping in couches can give you bruises. Castiel laid down in the other bed, “have a good night Y/N” he wished you, you closed your eyes and in an instant, you were fully asleep.

A few hours later, Castiel moved from his bed to yours, you were tossing and turning, probably having a nightmare. He held you and helped your body to relax again, in a matter of minutes, you fell asleep again. He noticed some bruising starting to form around your wrists, they were confusing since you’ve been sleeping for a few hours now, probably you got them while struggling in your nightmare.

Something was going on and you didn’t know what exactly, your brothers were hiding something from you, and you knew this because you’ve been on the road with them and Castiel for months now, you were stopping in several motels every few days, neither your brothers nor you were getting enough sleep and it was taking a toll in all of you. They had let you join in some of the hunts, Dean didn’t like the idea but the lack of sleep wasn’t good and you didn’t want them to get hurt when you could’ve helped them.

You hadn’t noticed but part of your arms and back was littered with bruises and scrapes. Dean was convinced you were doing this just to get more attention from them. He was forcing you to talk about something that wasn’t there, something that didn’t have an explanation. You tried so hard to tell him you weren’t doing anything to yourself but the result was always the same, you two ended up fighting. Dean gave you time and space, he just hoped it wasn’t too late to make you talk.

You weren’t sure what exactly wanted Dean to tell him, so you decided to just sit with them and tell them what you knew and they needed to understand you.

“N/N, I think it’s time for us to have a talk,” Sam said after he came back from the library. You sat in front of them, and they sat at the end of each bed. “Ok, you want an explanation and I will give it to you, but first, you have to promise me that you will let me talk and you will believe me,” both of them nodded. You sighed and said “I don’t know what or who is hurting me. Every time I have to sleep on the couches or I get just a few hours of sleep is when I wake up with bruises. I don’t know if it’s because I move a lot or what, but that’s the only explanation I can give you” you said, you knew they weren’t going to believe you, but there was a small chance that Sam could, and what he asked you, told you that he believed you, “and what about when you sleep more comfortable or you get more than a few hours?” you looked at your hands and admitted “I have very bad nightmares, Castiel was with me when I had one during the werewolf hunt”, “Don’t worry” Sam said, “we will figure this out. Right, Dean?” Dean just looked at you, he didn’t believe you, he wanted to make you talk and stop lying but still, he agreed with Sam.

Once again you were left back at the motel, this time they left you with Castiel since you fell asleep in the car, while Sam and Dean went to get dinner.

When they entered the room, you were gasping for air, your lips were turning blue. Castiel was next to you trying to help but nothing was working. Sam and Dean dropped the bags with food and ran to you, the first one to get to you was Sam, “Y/N, baby, breathe,” he instructed “everything is alright, you’re gonna be fine,” Dean said sitting behind you as your body went limp in his arms and everything got black.

A loud gasp came from your body when the air started to get in your lungs. Your body started to shake, you were really scared, you couldn’t see your brothers because your eyes were filled with tears, but you could feel Dean’s arms as he held you while you cried.

When you got a little bit calmer, you were terrified, “hey” Dean whispered, “you’re safe, we are here” he promised and kissed the side of your head, “What happened?” you asked, you didn’t remember much, “sweetheart, you were barely breathing when we got back. What is happening? Talk to me, please,” a small sob escaped your mouth and you hid your face in Dean’s chest. You knew what had happened and why it was happening, you didn’t want to admit to your brothers that you needed help.

For days you were scared of falling asleep, you didn’t know was attacking you, but you were terrified of another encounter and this time, actually die.

Since you were barely sleeping, you decided to do some research on what was happening to you and if it was a monster attacking you, how to kill it during your sleep. You’ve figured out you were struggling with dream paralysis but that didn’t explain the bruises. It wasn’t the first time that this had happened to you, you struggled with dream paralysis when you were little, your uncle Bobby helped you to avoid them, unfortunately, now it wasn’t working.

Sam has mentioned to Dean that maybe a monster was attacking you in your sleep. Dean didn’t buy it and he kept believing it was you causing the bruises. Cass was the only one who seemed confused about what was happening, he wanted to talk with you but you were never alone.

In one of the hunts, Dean demanded you stay behind and Castiel stay with you. He told you that you weren’t in the right state of mind to hunt and you were going to end up hurt if they let you.

You went to bed and asked Castiel to lay down with you, you knew there were small chances of getting some sleep, but you didn’t want to be alone and Cas’ company brought you some comfort and safety. When you woke up, Sam was holding you and Dean was with Castiel, “Hey, it’s okay. Take it easy” Sam instructed, when you tried to sit, you felt a sharp pain in your arm, when you looked at it you saw some bandage covering it. You were confused, “What happened?” you asked,

"It's a demon," Castiel answered you, "what do you mean?" Dean asked, "A demon is interfering in her sleep and it's hurting her" he explained, “How?” Sam asked, “You used to have dream paralysis before, right?" Castiel asked you and you nodded, "How do we stop them?" Dean asked, “Is not that simple,” you said and Sam and Dean looked at you confused, “You can’t tell when I’m having a dream paralysis and you will not see the demon. Is impossible” you explained, “Actually, is not” Castiel said, “but…”, "But, what?" Sam asked, "She needs to sleep" Cass stated, "is the only way."

You didn't say anything, you couldn't do it, last time you went to sleep, you almost died, you couldn't do it. "Sweetheart," Dean called you "I promise you, you will be fine. Nothing will hurt you." He said and then he kissed your forehead, "We are going to protect you" Sam said too, you took a deep breath and nodded, it was time to face this.

For the next few days Sam, Dean, Cass, and you did some research on not only finding a way of making the demon visible and killing him but also on how to protect you from the attack and not die because of it.

To your brothers wasn’t the smartest idea to use you as bait, but it was the only way to do it and they knew it. This demon was attached to you somehow and wanted your life in exchange and the last thing they wanted was letting you die.

Sam could see how much this was affecting you, the lack of sleep and the fear of doing was doing more damage than the actual demon dream paralysis. This needed to end as soon as possible.

That same night, Sam approached you, “it’s time” he said sitting next to you, “this has to stop today”, you blindly nodded. You were ready to beat this monster even if it meant you needed to die for it.

Since the few times you were attacked you were alone, that’s how you planned this strategy, you had a small hex bag with you for protection, but that was all. You were left alone in the room, you went to the bed and laid down. You were extremely tired since you haven’t caught any sleep after the last attack, you fell asleep as soon as your head touched the pillow.

When you opened your eyes, you had a big black figure on top of your chest making it really hard to breathe and what looked like hands were around your throat, you couldn’t move, you couldn’t scream, you couldn’t do anything, you were there ready to die. Some tears started to fall when you started to think about all the memories you had with your brothers and Cass, this was the end and you couldn’t warn them.

Your vision started to blurry, everything felt lighter, you did your best to keep yourself awake, but the tiredness won and your eyes closed. The weight in your chest faded and your lungs started to fill with air, your body started to respond to your movements, everything seemed to be getting back to normal. When you opened your eyes, your brothers were seated next to you and Castiel was behind them. “You’re safe now,” Sam said and you smiled “you kept your promise, for a moment I thought…”

Dean went to you and hugged you, “It’s okay, you’re safe now” he said and kissed your forehead.

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[doctorprofessorsong]

Hi. Umm this must be a stupid and unsettling question but I'm just gonna put it out there.

So Im a destiel shipper and I love reading fics. ok so, all this while TFW had been fighting for freedom and wanted to write their own stories and defeated god n everything. and in mid way of reading in dean's POV it struck me all of a sudden that dean wouldn't want me to know these things going on his mind. ok if you say dean and cas are fictional characters technically speaking and they can't possibly give consent, thats fine ig. but obviously I'm so attached to these characters and maybe I want to believe they're real. especially given how spn is a huge example of how a character can take control of the story being told. and ok yes, I know we as a fandom want to see our beloved characters happy. but what gives me the right to get into dean's mind? I'm dean coded so I always choose fics with his POV but I all of a sudden felt like a perv. Isn't freedom and privacy (from chuck/audience) what dean and the rest of the team fought for?? and we just continue toying with them just cause we recover slightly from cw's bullshit? Idk how this thought came to me after all this time but I do feel guilty to have been reading fics. anyway, is it just me or is this kind of feeling common? I enjoy fics too much I don't want to feel like this

Nonny, you are going through it, huh? I don't know how common/uncommon it is but certainly, many people in this fandom find a lot of self-recognition in these characters and that can be uncomfortable. Sometimes in great ways (the amount of times I have realized something I needed to work through in therapy because of a fic is slightly embarrassing) and sometimes in bad ways.

They are absolutely fictional characters and you shouldn't feel guilty. We tell stories for so many reasons. To understand. To find hope. To believe we can change things. To imagine a different world. There is nothing bad about getting insight into how people think Dean would feel or think. And if it helps, I think frequently what you are actually getting in a fic is a part of the author that they are sharing voluntarily. Certainly, my most beloved writing is often based on my experiences. On telling a story that I think matters.

As a concrete example, I wanted to tell a story in The Birds and the Ts about rebuilding after trauma. A recognition that the trauma isn't what makes you and love isn't what heals you. You rebuild with the help of those that love you. You get to decide how to remake yourself. So a lot of those thoughts the characters have and the choices they make? They are me telling myself and the reader it's okay to feel that way. You aren't alone and there is hope.

They are fictional, but I get the existential crisis. I do. In second grade I lived in fear that I was a character in a book or a dream. And I was terrified I would simply disappear when it ended. That feeling? I can say that feeling is common enough that more than one person has told me they also went through it.

But if it helps, even if they were real in a pocket universe living out these stories, you wouldn't be Chuck by reading about them. Maybe we are all Becky? Or Marie? Certainly, reading a fic is not manipulating time and space. And EVEN if they were real, Dean doesn’t seem to think about the readers of the series in the show. He doesn't seem uncomfortable around Marie, for instance. So even if you can't shake the existential fear that they are somehow real, I don't think you have to worry that the hypothetical Dean made reality would even think about or care about fic.

I would also consider whether you might be feeling exposed, and whether that is contributing to this feeling. Like some things are hitting close to home. That is an uncomfortable feeling. If that is part of it, consider what I said above. If it makes you feel vulnerable because you identify strongly with it, there's a better than 0 chance that it's because the author either speaks from experience or has looked at this character, seen this thing that makes you feel vulnerable, and loved him for it. So try to take heart in that.

[foiblepnoteworthy]

Tfw people say Jet deserved a redemption arc as if he didn't get one?

Okay class, how does one define a redemption arc?

Breaking it up into the basics, a redemption arc is composed of:

1. Recognizing one's actions were wrong

2. Improving one's behaviour accordingly

3. Attempting to make amends with those you have wronged.

When Jet came to Ba Sing Se he said he had "done some things [he wasn't] proud of" and that he wanted a "second chance". This both checks off the first item on the list and shows the intention of doing the second.

When he discovered Uncle's firebending he attempted to find evidence of Zuko firebending rather than trying to kill him on the spot. When he does use violence to try to force Zuko to reveal himself, he does this not because he believed it is right per se, but because he is both frustrated at his lack of results and hurt that his friends don't support/believe him.

(Bear in mind that he has been *this* close to being an army cult leader for about 8 years, and is trying to very quickly learn to take council and criticism from his followers. Hearing Smellerbee question him when he is still on this learning curve is difficult.)

[ Sidenote: Yes Jet is trying to take council and yes this is new to him. When we first met him in season 1 his FFs never questioned him in the slightest ("Jet's a great leader. We do what he says, and everything always turns out okay.") but now we see Smellerbee question him about allowing Zuko-Li to join (at which point Jet also asks for and (presumably?) respects Longshot's opinion) and her and Longshot holding an intervention about his stalking (not because they think his actions are necessarily morally wrong, but because they care about his health). ]

(sorry about the tangent I have a lot of opinions about Jet)

Basically he did improve his behaviour, but he slipped back into old habits on an impulse when he was upset and his new methods weren't working. (It's not like he was thinking at all rationally when he went after Zuko in the tea shop.)

So I'd say that's Point 2 checked off as well. (He can have a little relapse. As a treat.)

The last point is making amends with those he wronged and I mean come on. Did he or did he not try to help them find Appa even after the Dai Li funking ripped out his anger at the war and tried to turn him into a peaceful citizen? (one could argue that this isn't what happened bc the Dai Li might have done something else instead considering what they used him for, except that while brainwashed he said "I've been living peacefully in the city" which is a very Joo Dee phrase don't you think? It's evidence enough for me.) Jet had every reason to be terrified of facing the Dai li again but he did not hesitate because he owed it to them.

If you need a cherry on top, it's at least implied that Katara forgave him, or would have been willing to move past things if they'd stayed in touch (and y'know. Jet hadn't maybe died). Jet's heroic death (while overcoming the horrific shit the Dai li put in his head pls don't forget what he was already doing for them) is the final dusting of sugar on top of the cherry on top of the cake. He made a sacrifice for the person he had wronged while making amends.

Jet got his redemption arc. I'd say this would be like if Zuko had died fighting combustion man levels of getting his redemption arc. Y'all wouldn't say Zuko didn't get his redemption if he died them now would you?

[mittensmorgul]

Since the finale aired, I’ve been yammering on about how it would’ve only worked as a finale to s2, and now that I’m actually rewatching s2, I stand by that even more staunchly. The finale doesn’t work in a post-s2 supernatural universe.

This is the version of Dean we saw in the finale-- the one whose only mission in life was to Save Sammy, to help him get his revenge and allow him to go out and live a Normal Safe Life pretending that hunting and monsters don’t exist. The one who just wanted some pie, to drive his car, and had no real connections beyond Sam in the world outside of Bobby. Even Dean’s characterization in the finale is this far younger Dean who’d never allowed himself to crack open and truly understand love. It would take me years to plow through everything I’ve ever written about him as a character and his long struggle to emotional maturity we saw evolve over the next 13 years beyond this episode, but the tl;dr will always be “this s2 Dean is the same as the Dean in the finale.”

The goal of s2 was saving SAM from his “destiny,” too. In this era of the show, Dean didn’t have a “destiny” the same way Sam did. The ONLY thing that mattered was freeing Sam from “becoming evil,” and being manipulated into terrible things. What Dean wanted, what he was “destined” for by the narrative was irrelevant, because all of his choices and emotional burdens were tied only to saving Sam. To freeing Sam so he could safely return to his “normal life.” Go back to college, have a family and the white picket fence life.

This was before Dean truly began fighting for HIMSELF. Which only really and truly began after he sells his soul to resurrect Sam. That’s when Dean truly begins fighting for himself. Sure, he’s angry with John during s2 for trading his own life for Dean’s, for putting the burden of “if you can’t save Sam, you’ll have to kill him” on his shoulders with his dying breath, but Dean is still fighting against John’s authority and the complicated tangle of feelings of his own childhood and not actually coming to terms with his own wants and needs and wishes out beyond that yet. He’s still unwittingly confronting the “destiny” John had set up for him, and hasn’t moved beyond that yet. It’s only trading his soul for Sam’s that finally brings Dean into the cosmic narrative that will fuel his introspection and personal growth for the rest of the series.

And out beyond that point, his entire character arc explodes into orbit.

Dean’s entire character arc in s3 is confronting this very basic fact: he doesn’t deserve to have been sacrificed just to save Sam. He doesn’t deserve that burden, and he does deserve to live. This is the realization he comes to before eventually being dragged to Hell and then rescued by an angel, who literally tells him, “you don’t think you deserve to be saved” in the aftermath of that. From that point on, we have TWELVE SEASONS of Dean struggling with what he “deserves” versus what is “fate” and “destiny” and eventually confronting what he WANTS if he truly could choose his own destiny.

Plus, out beyond that point, he has Cas. And nothing changes Dean, pushes him to grow and understand himself, and accept himself-- all of himself, from the good to the horrific-- than the pure and unflinching acceptance of Castiel. Cas never looked at him and said “you are evil,” or “you are worthless.” (well, they’ve both said some pretty awful stuff to each other over the years, but there was either brainwashing or other deeper issues pushing those things on them, and they have ALWAYS eventually come back to one another, and the awful stuff was dealt with). Point is, Dean and Cas both began running these parallel arcs of duty versus desire, and for Dean, the duty was always framed around “taking care of Sam” versus pursuing any sort of ambition or goals for himself. They would fight for this for most of the rest of the series, until eventually the goal for ALL of them would be about discovering what they would want for themselves.

The show explicitly dealt with this, repeatedly, over later seasons, asking all of the characters the big questions: is this what you would choose for yourself? What WOULD you choose for yourself if you could?

And then they made the narrative of the final season, of the final Big Bad, the fact that they had NEVER had real freedom, and that their entire lives (and the entire history of not only this universe but every parallel universe) had been Chuck’s Puppet Theater, and true free will had been a lie all this time. Pushing all of the characters to confront their own choices and understand what about who they were as people was separate from what Chuck pushed them into choosing and doing all these years. The main thing that Dean (and also Cas, and to the extent she was included in the narrative this was Eileen’s issue as well) were being pushed to come to terms with what really was real, and were their feelings and choices their own or imposed on them for the furtherance of Chuck’s story.

At the end of the road, finally free and out from under Chuck’s control, they knew what was real. For Sam and Eileen, they had chosen each other. Cas had chosen Dean, but Dean hadn’t yet had a chance to reply, but anyone with two eyes and a brain knows what he would’ve said in return. It’s what Cas stopped him from saying even back in Purgatory in 15.09. And yet, for some reason Sam and Dean forgot all of that, as if none of it had ever even really happened at all, and we went right back to who they were right after they finally defeated the YED, before we even knew Azazel had a name, let alone the fact that the ultimate boogeyman of their entire lives to that point had been nothing more than a fanatic pawn in a much larger destiny for both of them.

The end of s2 was the last time Dean sacrificing himself so Sam could have a normal life, where Dean really felt there was nothing more for himself than fulfilling his father’s orders to save Sammy, even feels remotely plausible. It’s the last time we can feel like Dean might find peace and contentment in a Heaven where John is nearby to be proud of him, and where Dean would actually feel like that validation was even relevant to his own life.

And that finally brings me back to s2, where that was actually addressed through John’s self-sacrifice to save Dean, to serve Dean up to the narrative and provide a stage for this self-transformative journey INTO being a version of John himself. Only... Dean DOESN’T choose that. He fights to save Sam at all costs, even when it seems clear that the right answer would probably be to KILL Sam instead. When not only the ghost of John Winchester plaguing Dean’s mind would make him doubt his own drive to save his brother, but the John Winchester Insert Character of s2-- Gordon Walker-- basically put Dean’s own doubts out there in plain words in 2.10:

GORDON: I'm surprised at you, Dean. Getting all emotional. I'd heard you were more of a professional than this. Look, let's say you were cruising around in that car of yours and, uh, you had little Hitler riding shotgun, right? Back when he was just some goofy, crappy artist. But you knew what he was going to turn into someday. You'd take him out, no questions, am I right?

DEAN: That's not Sam.

GORDON: Yes it is. You just can't see it yet. Dean, it's his destiny. Look, I'm sympathetic. He's your brother, you love the guy. This has got to hurt like hell for you. But here's the thing. It would wreck him. But your dad? If it really came right down to it, he would have had the stones to do the right thing here. But you're telling me you're not the man he is?

This, the episode where Dean finally confesses John’s final orders to Sam, where Dean has decided that saving Sam is all that matters, even when circumstance and everyone else is practically screaming at him that this could all be over if only he gave in-- be it his own self-sacrifice OR killing Sam. Six of one, half a dozen of the other, the universe doesn’t care (and neither does Chuck... especially at this point... and the proof of that is Sam’s s15 nightmares where one of Chuck’s alternate universe endings for Sam and Dean was Sam actually going Darkside on demon blood and killing Dean... any iteration of the old drama, Chuck has explored all potential endings-- oh, except the ending where TFW gets to just be happy and live... that’s the one ending they never get and the only one they deserved in the end).

also from 2.10... loads of chat about “destiny” and one of Dean’s first “we should just lay all this shit down and take a vacation” moments when he suggests they go to Amsterdam and enjoy some of the not-coffee-coffee-shops, which Sam counters by doubling down on the fact that Dean has a destiny in all this as much as Sam does:

SAM: Well, come on, dude, you're a hunter. I mean, it's what you were meant to do.

DEAN: Ah, I wasn't meant to do anything, I don't believe in that destiny crap.

SAM: You mean you don't believe in my destiny.

DEAN: Yeah, whatever.

SAM: Look, Dean, I've tried running before. I mean, I ran all the way to California and look what happened. You can't run from this. And you can't protect me.

DEAN: I can try.

And that’s it, right there. This is the “neither of you can try for a normal life outside of the other while the other is still alive.” This is Sam pinning a destiny to Dean that’s just as inescapable within Chuck’s narrative as Sam’s demon blood and psychic powers. 

This is the core essence of Chuck’s story about them. The sibling dynamic that Chuck failed to free himself from, and that Sam and Dean failed to free themselves from after Chuck’s demise in 15.19.

Destiny. One must die so the other can live.

And considering the next 13 seasons of the show and the long and emotionally grueling character arcs Sam and Dean proceed through where they truly confront the core of who they are as people-- as individuals outside of their duty and destiny-- the finale ceases to make any sense outside of Chuck’s narrative for them. If 15.20 really happened exactly as we saw it on screen, then Chuck still won.

And they had to loop Sam and Dean all the way back to where they were emotionally at the end of s2 in order to make it seem plausible. Which, for those of us who actually care about what they endured after s2, makes the finale entirely implausible as a whole.

[hawkland]

Destiel fic recs #3 - the (mostly) longfic edition!

It’s been a while since my last rec post - mostly because I’ve been wallowing in a number of longer fics (50-350k!) so it’s taken me a while to have enough to talk about in one post (and boy do I talk a lot, here!)

With these longer fics, I do sometimes have some caveats with my recs - or at least reasons why they might not appeal to every Dean/Cas reader. But note that if I didn’t overall strongly recommend reading the fic I wouldn’t include it in my recs here at all, so any quibbles I bring up are minor compared to my overall enjoyment of the stories. Just, I don’t want someone to commit to a long read without knowing what they’re getting into and why it might not be their thing.

I’m still not into reading complete setting AUs at this time, but a lot/most of these are canon-divergence AUs, often written/set at the end of a season and giving an alternative take on what happened next. I love those kind of stories, as it’s often so interesting to see how fans thought of what might happen in the next season (especially when it’s better than what we actually got.)

Onto the recs & discussion behind the cut!

The Sinking Ship by UnfortunatelyObsessed (114k). This is a story that ripped my heart to pieces (in a good way!). I stayed up all night to finish reading because I simply couldn’t stop once I started on it and it gave me a massive fic hanger from all my emotions. Season 14 divergence, imagine if Dean did go into the Ma’lak box to trap Michael under the ocean with him forever...and once there, he discovers that Cas has stowed away with him. Because of course Cas would never leave Dean to such a fate on his own.

I loved literally. Every. Damn. Thing. About this fic. Cas telling Dean stories to pass the (endless) time. Their small intimate moments while realizing they can never consummate physically while trapped in the box but finding every other way to express their love. The absolute heartbreak that had me SOBBING when Michael fights for control of Dean and destroys everything they’ve built together and Cas thinks he’s lost Dean forever. Sam & Gabriel & Rowena & Claire & Jack doing everything they can to devise a plan back home to try to save them both while keeping Michael trapped. Also even just the wonderfully sensitive portrayal of aroace Jack still closely bonded with Claire and Maggie and just. And just. This is a story I’ve already re-read just to savor how much I loved it and its portrayal of everyone in TFW 2.0 and their extended family, it just hit my id in all the most incredible ways and I have nothing but absolute love for this one.

Beautiful Chaos by anyrei, mugglerock (141k). Season 9 canon-divergence, in which Dean doesn’t simply abandon Cas to fend for himself post 09x03. Instead he sets Cas up in a kind of squatter’s nest in an abandoned building near the bunker so he can keep tabs on him and help him out. 

This fic definitely gets the award for FILTHIEST, HOTTEST, SMUTTIEST Dean/Cas (and Cas/other) I’ve read in, like, ever, for human!Cas turns out to be a rather insatiable sex fiend/cock slut and Dean is too up his own repressed ass to easily give Cas what he wants/needs. It is dark at times, Cas ends up in some very unsavory/non-con situations, and the authors do mention that they tried to hone in on endverse!Cas’s characterization more than what we saw in Season 9...so you might roll with it, you might not. I adored their original character Jerry the tattoo artist in this, and like I said it was seriously hot (if you are good with total bottom!Cas and Cas with others, I know those are not everyone’s cuppa). I did have a few minor issues. For one, the last chapter felt a bit rushed and hand-wavey, but clearly the authors weren’t fond of the canon conflicts of season 9 & 10 (Abbadon, Mark of Cain) and just wanted to be done with them. Can’t say I really blame them. And I did have to laugh a bit at Lebanon, Kansas apparently having such a bustling gay bar/tattoo artist/etc scene being someone from a butt-fuck nowhere American small town myself. But, SPN was never all that realistic in how Lebanon was shown (and yes I’ve spent too much time roaming around it on Google maps), so if you can suspend some disbelief this is an awesome hot/angsty/occasionally heartbreaking read.

These Forsaken Lands by destielpasta (53k). I came upon this story when looking for fics that dealt in some way with the aftermath of Godstiel. This is a wonderfully atmospheric late Season 9 “fill-in” case fic (post Meta-fiction) where Cas ends up in a small town that had been visited by Godstiel...and while initially residents have reaped much good fortune, there has suddenly been a wave of deaths/bad events and he is determined to find out what happened and set things right. He calls upon Dean for help, but Dean is fighting the Mark of Cain and it’s going to take a lot to get past its control and find a way out for both of them. Together they work on repairing an old church while trying to repair each other and their damaged relationship.

I loved this story for how well written it was, really invoking a gothic small-town/Americana atmosphere. The original characters blend in very well with the case-fic at the center of it, and the author deals really well with Cas at a very fragile point when he’s running on borrowed grace and trying to navigate Dean’s MoC-enhanced anger. It’s Dean/Cas but actually much more of a Cas character study, so I highly recommend it to my fellow/compatriot Cas-girls who love a good wallow in his head.

Mixed Emotions by Tierra469 (50k). Canon 12 “parallel” fic that then goes canon-divergent with the season finale. I actually stumbled on this while in the mood to read some Cas/ or & Mary fic after enjoying their interactions in Season 12 (don’t hate me). This is sort of two fics in one. The first half focuses mostly on filling in the gaps with some critical S12 Cas episodes, especially Cas & Mary’s developing friendship (and one night of something more). But of course Cas’s feelings for Dean (and vice-versa) are always there, and when Cas figures out a way to get his powers fully back, the question is if Dean can open himself up to be vulnerable - and express love - the way Cas needs for this to work.

This was an interesting fic in a lot of ways. I loved the author’s take on angels’ connections to their vessels and grace, it was very consistent in a way the show sometimes/often wasn’t. Cas is very Cas in not understanding privacy and personal boundaries (so he does some questionable things, admittedly, which might squick some readers). The smut is fucking HOT - though I will caution at one point it involves Cas temporarily in a younger (NOT underage) female vessel (and the story does point out Dean’s discomfort with this and some of the consent issues involved, I don’t want to spoil too much). I wanted the Mary plot resolved more than it was, but I still recommend this story strongly for the quality of the writing and unique/well-developed take on angel lore and mechanics that was quite different from what I’m used to reading.

We Are Either Here Or Not Here by petramacneary (54k) A post-season 12 fic that goes on a different tangent to how Cas returns, and what happens in the meantime. Particularly, it offers a different take on what apocalypseverse!Cas would be like—as Mary makes her own way back from that world with AU!Cas as her prisoner.

What I loved about this story: first off, BAMF!Mary is awesome here. Dean is so heartbreaking, not quite knowing what the fuck to do with this different Cas who at times is just a painful reminder of who/what Dean’s lost...but then becomes a chance for Dean to say and express some of the things he always was afraid to in the past. And when (real/our) Cas finally returns, there’s some very interesting stuff that happens with both Cas & AU!Cas and Cas & Dean that I don’t want to spoil. (And let’s also just say that when real!Cas and Dean finally get together it’s AMAZINGLY awesome. Like, hot Impala!sex. So is the artwork that goes with this story.)

You Can Keep Holding On by NorthernSparrow (353k) The longest fic I read this time around and probably the one I have the most mixed feelings about, but a while on I do keep thinking about parts of it so I do rec it with some caveats. This is a canon-divergence after the end of Season 11. Dean & Sam find Cas after he’s been blasted out of the bunker...to the bottom of the Grand Canyon. Mary isn’t in this one except for a brief appearance/visit, which Dean thinks is Amara’s gift to him. Life seems good for a while, they’re enjoying dealing with mundane problems for a change, but then Cas seems to be pulling away from the brothers, spending less and less time with them at the bunker, taking a mundane job at another Gas ‘n Sip, and clearly preoccupied by something else. Or is it someone else? Dean is worried yet finally ready to accept that Cas maybe has a girlfriend, or a boyfried, but then it turns out that is not at all what Cas has going on. It’s something far more serious than that.

Honestly I almost stopped reading when the reveal happened - it’s a subject that’s very sensitive to me from personal/family experience and not something I usually like reading in fic (especially if there is a sad ending.) So I admit I jumped ahead to read how it would end first before committing to finishing it. And I am glad I did, because the author handles the subject matter with a realism and obvious knowledge of experience as well, not how I often see it in fanfic. There are a lot of emotional ups and downs but it’s nice seeing Dean in his momma-hen/mode, and Sam is so so good in this one! I think I enjoyed Sam’s characterization here most of all! And the author has a really cool/well developed angel/wing lore that hit my wing-kink pretty hard. I do think it could have all been edited down a bit - I found myself skimming parts, especially in the last third, just to get on with things. But it’s definitely a story you can disappear into for a good long time and I’ve bookmarked the author’s other works to read later, so again, I do rec it even with a few caveats.

A few shorter fics, too, just because I don’t want to forget about them...

Eleven Erogenous Zones of a Fallen Angel by almaasi (15k) Pure gratuitous wing!kink for me :) Cas uses the last of his grace to manifest his wings...but then is stuck with them in his human form and not even able to use them to fly as he used to. This presents a lot of awkward problems to deal with but also the excuse for Dean to help him keep them clean :) I did say wing kink, right? :D :D I loved how Cas seemed confused about the pleasure signals he got from bathing vs. sex vs. grooming and all of that. It’s sweet and hot and has my favorite kind of caretaking Dean in it.

Fossil Tracks by SegaBarrett  (3k). Dean & Sam & Cas and dinosaurs. How can you go wrong with that? One of the SPN stories from the Id Pro Quo collection I really enjoyed reading (and didn’t write myself, lol).

[vaguely-concerned]

The Mandalorian Chapter 12 rewatch thoughts

- I would like to thank them for keeping in din’s harried yet triumphant ‘hAH!!’ when he gets the explosives to stick to gideon’s ship in the ‘hey remember when this happened last season’ section, that was a nice gesture from the showrunners to me personally, I assume

- this episode actually helped me find more enjoyment in the last one, because it’s such a nice reassurance that even though they’re pulling in more stuff from other star wars media this show won’t suddenly stop being its own thing and mando won’t suddenly stop being himself and it’s very comforting to me somehow haha

- the small hesitation before din calls out “do you... do you have the wire?” lol lol lol he’s completely aware of the bizarreness of what he’s doing here but hey being alive is already so damn weird etc. 

the softness of his voice the whole way through and the fact that he never, never blames the baby for not being able to do what shouldn’t really be asked of him in the first place, tho... ;____;  

- the tiny exasperated head tilt din does when he realizes the hatch isn’t going to extend all the way fdslkfhasdlashfs  

- din is looking down at the baby the entire time while greef talks to the mechanics ❤️❤️❤️

(the baby seems pretty drawn to/excited to see greef again and mando seems to notice which is extremely cute. he’s becoming really good at tuning in with the kid) 

he also greets cara baby first in much the same way as he does peli, like he knows what the main attraction here is lol, they do a very sweet bro nod at each other. god I wish gina carano wasn’t so terrible imagine if we could just have this BrOTP without hesitations :( 

I think greef is actually a bit worried to begin with after seeing the ship, he sort of takes din in intently before he huffs a little laugh and grabs his arm. it must be a bit stressful to be his friend and not be able to see his expression right away when you worry something might be seriously wrong haha

- people are finally treating the baby like you would a real baby and it’s such a blessing, everyone talking and cooing at him and baby babbling back

(I wonder if greef has children of his own? he does have an undeniable air of experienced grandpa about him in this episode, it’s adorable)  

- din does so much talking -- unprompted, even! -- these days, it truly is an embarrassment of riches 

- capital E Emotional about this shot with IG-11 right behind din and cara inviting him into the school in front of him. some past carried with us into the future shit going on here  

IG-11′s legacy’s still got our back y’all :’) I swear to god if gideon blows up nevarro at some point I’m going to lose it 

the ‘oh yeah?/that so?’ way din leans his head back after she says “wait until you see inside” is also amazing

- baby reaching out his hand like ‘can have?’ is so polite ;______; he takes after his father (including in the ‘fool me twice, I’ll fuck you up’ department haha. listen you get one chance to be cool about it and then no more mr nice mando/baby)

-

go ahead, kid, make a fuss about it. who are you going to tell, huh? who’s going to believe you? you gonna tell them you got bested by a baby? a magic baby? no? that’s right. I took your dignity as easily as I took your macarons, there’s nothing you can do to change it, and now you gotta live with that. sweet dreams.

(this is a joke. the baby is not evil. I hate that I even have to specify this but I’ve seen some stupid shit in the tags in my time you guys haha) 

- I can’t work out what anything on greef’s desk is supposed to be, but if that’s a computer it’s got to be older than even the razor crest lol

- friends: din yes?

mando: din no, only repairs

friends: din yes please?

mando: ... [sigh] din yes 

he truly has next to no defense against people he actually likes asking him for something huh lol. well a self care co-op mission clearly did him a world of good in this one at least it’s all fine

- “I’m starting to dehydrate, Boss” is an excellent line and delivered perfectly, I cackle every time (”You park your gills right there until I say otherwise” is a good runner up too) 

- it’s so nice to see the small moments of communication between them in this one after mando was so out of sync with the team in the last one (and tbf those guys didn’t even try to give him any pointers at all, they really left him to flounder through the whole thing if you watch it carefully haha)

- the mythrol’s jacket still looks so comfy, I want one

- aaaaah the way din says “I don’t like this” is just so... hnnngh it’s perfect, there’s a vulnerability and openness to it for a moment. greef glances over at him like he hasn’t heard him sound like this before too, which just sells it even more

u ok bro?

you know shit’s fucked up when din djarin expresses an emotion without even being forced to by circumstance (I think what I mean is that it’s actually really rare for him to state how he feels about something just to do it, usually his communication is more practically oriented, more along ‘I think this is the best cause of action because of a and b’ lines, or like when he tells omera he’s grateful it’s... more to inform her of it and make sure she knows than to express himself? but he’s starting to do it more with people he trusts now and it gets me in the heart? man I’m finding this hard to articulate let’s move on lol)

- I really, really wonder about pershing’s position in all of this. his plea for the child’s life did sound genuine -- he did try to guard him with his own noodly scientist body when he thought din was out to hurt him, remember -- but is that only because he knows he’s in deep shit himself without the blood the baby can give? is he maybe not quite cool with whatever gideon has him doing? (he does sound quite strained when he talks about the ‘body’ rejecting the transfusion and the ‘volunteer’ potentially suffering the same fate... hm.)

idk why I want there to be something redeemable in him so bad, maybe it’s just my weird yet enduring attachment to ladon radim in stargate atlantis messing with me they’re kind of similar in some ways (yeah don’t ask me I don’t know either sometimes the heart wants what it wants in ways reason can’t explain)

- tfw ur literally launching yourself across a pool of boiling lava because you’re Dad and your baby’s in danger T__________T he just does not stop running towards that kid for even a single second help

- there’s something so innocently pure and... old fashioned? about the scene with mythrol and greef screaming the entire time they drive off the cliff, it feels like something out of a movie from like three decades ago. that whole segment feels a bit like that, it’s just there to be fun and that’s okay sometimes

- every dog fight in every movie should have a baby nonchalantly snacking on a cookie in them, it elevates the experience immeasurably (he squishes his nose a little bit with the macaron when he misses his mouth at one point, which is more than anyone should be expected to bear honestly)

I love that even all fixed up again the razor crest groans and creaks like an old tired thing when din makes it flip to dive, he 100% did take out a bunch of ferraris in his stalwart morris minor of a spaceship and I treasure him     

- there’s so much life and emotion in din’s voice here I can’t!!!! I simply can’t!!!! imagine if we get to hear him openly laugh one day, would I even survive it??!!!!

 also the kid makes such pitch perfect ‘having my lil nose wiped and whining about it’ baby noises when din uses his cape to clean him up (din does turn the autopilot on before he turns around to deal with it, for those who, like me, worry about these things) 

- between carson showing up and the stuff the droid talks about in the lesson they’re doing quite a bit of outer rim vs. core worlds theme building in this one, I wonder if this is going to ramp up more or what

- god but gideon’s theme SLAPS tho 

he’s probably going to try to fuck up everything I love but you can’t fault him on the tunes he’s going to do it to 

[deans-haunted-baby]

Lately I can’t stop thinking about Adam, like I’m legit crushed over what this show did to him. I know Supernatural was never perfect but the way it treated this character was so damn vicious, condescending and nasty; no different than a high school bully picking on an injured elementary schooler.

He never stood a chance. The thing is I don’t know what it was that made me latch onto Adam so strongly for over a decade. Maybe I could just sympathize and easily relate to his situation of being discarded and forgotten by family members. Or maybe I saw potential in this character and couldn’t fathom why no one else on that writing staff and the SPN fandom couldn’t.

I want you to take a second and absorb these pertinent facts about Adam Milligan that this show put forward. This is not anti-anything this is all the truth so bare with me:

He was the illegitimate youngest child of hunter John Winchester; a man who treated his older sons Sam and Dean like soldiers on his platoon.

Adam only saw his bio dad ONCE A YEAR and it was only to take him to ball games not to train him so that he could protect himself and his mother from (supernatural) threats.

He never knew the existence of his older brothers nor did they know about him because John deliberately ripped those pages out of his journal. Essentially trying to erase any evidence of Adam and Kate.

Because Adam grew up having no clue what was out there or about the “family business”  he and his mother suffered VIOLENT PRE-MATURE DEATHS at the hands of ghouls which Adam STILL REMEMBERS long after being murdered.

Oh and John failed to kill those ghouls, providing them the golden opportunity of impersonating him and his mother so they could kill John and his half-brothers.

Adam was only an 18 year old pre-med studying medicine. Probably wanted to follow in his mother’s footsteps in helping people as she was a nurse.

Because Kate worked nights as a single mother, Adam had to grow up being his own parent at times; cooking his own meals and putting himself to bed.

Adam was ironically born on September 29th (1990) which is also known as Michaelmas aka the Feast of Saints Michael, Gabriel and Raphael. A potential storyline that could’ve gone somewhere but didn’t.

Adam is also by birthright a Men of Letters legacy though his brothers fail to mention that 10 years later.

The last thing Adam was doing while he was in Heaven, designed to look like his Prom, he was kissing a girl Kristen McGee; whom we’ll never know about or if he’ll ever see again.

Adam was ripped out of Heaven against his will by the angels to be used and manipulated as their backup device in the Apocalypse because Sam and Dean refused to comply with their demands.

After being resurrected, Adam was then recovered, kidnapped and held hostage by TFW (Sam, Dean, Bobby and Castiel) where they all took turns mouthing off at this angsty teenager about why he should trust a bunch of complete strangers over those who made him promises.

Adam only wanted to work with the angels in order to stop Lucifer and return to his mother. Highlighting that this character had a sense of justice, responsibility, cared about doing the right thing but also had his own reasons for wanting to save the world.

Sam tried to emotionally manipulate Adam with excuses for why their dad never told him about his family. And actually had the gall to say that him and Dean would’ve looked for him had they’d known he existed so they could be a family. Forgive me if I just laugh at this for a moment 🤣

Zachariah was able to get into Adam’s head because he knew how vulnerable he was. Telling him that trusting the Winchesters would only let him down which *SPOILER ALERT* turned out to be true.

Zachariah tortured Adam for hours before the Winchesters arrived to save him. And Dean was only willing to submit to the angel when Sam was just briefly tortured.

One of the last things Dean says to Adam in 5x18 after he was shocked to see his half-brothers come to his rescue was “Cause you’re family”. Again I have to...🤣🤣

At the moment of their escape, Dean doesn’t even help Adam (WHO’D BEEN INJURDED AND TORTURED) out of the room nor does he care about ushering him to safety. Dean just grabs Sam and hurries out the door. So much for being part of the family.

The last thing Adam screams before before being possessed by Michael was “Dean, help!” and then he hears Dean say “Just hold on!”

Adam, not being Michael’s true vessel yet born from the powerful Winchester bloodline, was able to look directly at the archangel’s true form without his eyes burning out. And this is NEVER explained why.

Dean mentions Adam only a total of THREE TIMES after this happens in 5x19, 5x22 and 6x11 while Castiel mentions it to Sam in 5x21. And Sam, WHO’D BEEN THE MAIN EMOTIONAL MANIPULATOR, just doesn’t give a shit to remember him.

Castiel threw a Molotov cocktail at Michael (who was using Adam’s body) to briefly cast him out which Adam probably felt in excruciating detail based on what Michael says in 15x08.

Sam, possessed by Lucifer, pushed himself and his innocent half-brother possessed by Michael into the cage for all eternity.

Castiel somehow managed to pull Sam out of the cage but decided to leave Adam behind.

After Dean bargains with Death to get Sam’s soul and Adam out of the cage. Only to get just Sam’s soul and leave Adam to his fate. The issue is never brought up again between the Winchesters.

Adam sits a prisoner in a cage with an archangel for 10 years our time but thousands of years Hell time.

Michael most likely protected Adam from some of the horrors in Hell which is why he was able to keep his sanity.

Sam and Dean went to Hell to talk to Lucifer in the cage but continue to ignore Adam’s existence and don’t bother releasing him yet they let Lucifer escape.

Dean also went back to Hell to retrieve Bobby’s soul so he could go to Heaven and again doesn’t even bother with Adam.

Season 10 for Supernatural’s 200th episode, Sam and Dean were reminded by SPN fans putting on a musical that Adam was still in the cage yet THEY NEVER DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

Mary Winchester STILL doesn’t know about Adam even though she was reunited with John during the 300th episode. He’s never mentioned during their big family get-together. I guess he never counted.

Adam and Michael are finally set free of Hell only because Chuck threw a giant hissy fit at the Winchesters and opened all the gateways.

The first thing Adam wanted to do as a free man in 15x08 was not seeking revenge on his brothers for abandoning him, but to eat some diner food, change his clothes and get a “little job”

After years of imprisonment, Adam actually befriended the Prince of Heaven aka the one friend he has/the only other person besides his mother who actually gave a damn about him.

TFW trapped, kidnapped and imprisoned Adam and Michael at the bunker in order to force them to help against Chuck.

And Adam, though still angry, hurt and worn out over the situation; chose to help his brothers when there was NOTHING in it for him and successfully convinced Michael to do the same.

Despite how his brothers treated him, Adam STILL believed in their best and vouched that they “always try to do the right thing”

Adam went to Hell a cranky, sassy, angsty, naïve teenager and returned a kinder, wiser, more patient, humble and rational-thinking man who still managed to smile and laugh after enduring centuries of pain.

Dean gives Adam his much due apology for not saving him but Sam doesn’t. In fact Sam doesn’t even bring him up the next time the Winchesters see each other.

Adam’s last words on this show are to Dean and they’re “Since when do we get what we deserve?” and “Good luck” 🤓

Chuck Thanos-snapped Adam’s soul out of existence OFF-SCREEN yet Michael somehow remained in his body.

Adam was 90% of Michael’s impulse control hence why he was so dark in his last appearance without Adam because that’s the only way I can cope with that disgusting character assassination in 15x19

Jack supposedly revived Adam along with everyone else after becoming the new God. BUT his current status now reads “Unknown” instead of “Alive” so what the fuck am I suppose to think now?!

Sam and Dean didn’t even think about checking in on Adam to make sure he was okay before they hit the road on their last solo bro-outing.

If Adam really is alive then he’s doomed to a miserable, lonely existence without his best friend (who’s now dead). Broke, homeless, jobless; his brothers STILL DON’T GIVE A RAT’S ASS after he’d helped them in good faith. He’s legally deceased thanks to the ghouls. And he gets to look forward to demon city the moment he dies cause guess where he’s ending up?

No one remembers him even after he’d returned in 15x08

The car and the dog are more important to the Winchesters than their innocent half-brother.

Okay I realize I just unloaded a whole mountain of salt but this is the full outline of Adam’s tragic story on Supernatural. These writers never cared about him and why? What did he do to deserve this gross treatment from the show’s protagonists or just in general? Why was he even introduced if this was going to be the outcome of it all? I don’t know what’s worse leaving him in Hell (cause at least he had Michael for company) or bringing him back and not knowing what became of him after. It’s insufferable 😣 I just want everyone to know that the showrunners and writers may not care about him BUT I DO.

[elizabethrobertajones]

Did Bobo really create the Wayward Sisters? If so, why weren't Jack and especially Cas included in that episode? That's my biggest issue with that pilot honestly, I mean, the fact that the show abandoned Claire and Cas' bond after season 10 and gave that storyline to Salmondean. Her bond with Cas is more interesting because of their connection to the Novaks. I also think that Claire and Jack would've made a more engaging dynamic and spin off together, I think they're strong characters & actors

Hi there!

Bobo isn’t the “creator” of Wayward so much as it can even have one, as it was a very organic idea, which even involved a healthy amount of fandom input. The original campaign in season 10 was for Wayward Daughters, and the idea picked up so much steam the altered title for, I guess, a mix of copyright and thematic relevance was the Sisters one. I’d say 10x08 was the real genesis of it as something that could be really solid. Once Kim and Briana were put together the chemistry and star power they could have had together was really meteoric as far as our small SPN world was concerned. Phil Sgriccia directed 9x13 and wrote 10x08 and was more of the parent of Wayward than any specific writer in that sense. Jody and Claire were pretty much common property of the show by that point. Claire was really introduced again in relation to plotlines and questions about Cas and less to do with them really going out of their way to re-launch her. I think they’d have been much cornier about it from the start and while YA protagonist diary writing her way through the end of Wayward Sisters was cute, it’s the sort of cutesy that really has to be earned. If she STARTED that way, like maybe me and 3 friends would be stanning her and everyone else would be revolted :P

(I am a YA fantasy novel author, but I do think everyone should make room in their hearts for this level of cheese)

In any case, Bobo just threw his hat into an already crowded ring with Alex, but obviously loving the characters and having his own personal wayward child to contribute did help elevate him to the prospective showrunner seat, but also all the other writers who’d written these characters except Dabb had left at that point. If Bobo was going to shepherd them through to their new show, he’d be the legacy writer, even though he was a new baby writer in the season Donna was introduced... Attrition aside, he did genuinely write them very well, loved their stories and was great with writing Jody when he could get her, so he would also have been a good choice even if all the others were left still... 

But anyway. Season 10′s subplot for Cas was about Claire and learning some stuff about himself along the way, but she was used very much for his personal development and for Dean as well, being a mini Dean herself in a season where he had lost a lot of his sense of self. It’s a total accident of scheduling but Angel Heart (10x20) being the last episode before 10x22 is a nice touch in that regard. And while Cas tried really hard with Claire and awoke his inner Dad side so that he’d be more prepared for fatherhood next time, it was pretty insurmountable between them to have anything more than a bittersweet relationship where the best he could do was make up with her and see her somewhere safe. The fact of him looking like her actual dead father is horrendous the more you think about it and while she managed to see him for who he was instead of a horrible monster, that’s more than enough trauma to inflict on an already traumatised girl for the sake of helping Cas’s manpain and tidying up the sticky question of Jimmy and Cas’s right to the vessel. 

Angel Heart very specifically ends with TFW mailing Claire to Jody because they know she’s already good with Alex in a genuine way and can handle these sort of issues and has done it before. And also because she can be a guardian who will not constantly remind Claire that her father is dead but something is walking around wearing a perfect reconstruction of his face. Carver era did a few things here and there with bodily autonomy and the problem of angel and demon vessels, but it was also really hit and miss. They’d get random waves of feeling guilty about it but then by necessity go back to stabbing angels in their still-living vessels an episode later. Claire was a way to address at the very least that whatever Cas was being put through was only a punishment on Cas and not on Jimmy as well, which is probably why we got such sappy Heaven scenes. We NEEDED to be shown he was in Heaven and largely okay with what was going on so that the show could justify using Cas at all as a character without breaking the code of ethics they tried to make their own characters adhere to. Aside from that it also gave Cas a side plot for when he wasn’t needed in the main plot, and any emotional connection to anything that wasn’t Sam and Dean.

Anyway 10x20 caused this huge fandom high which was followed by one of the lowest lows of the fandom immediately after, and both centred on female characters (in fact, now we know, 2 lesbians even! Though I’d wonder if, The Gay Agenda aside, Bobo spite-wrote that specifically because of the roots of Wayward) and I think that galvanised the whole movement of fans and hopefully some self-reflection in the show. They DID start making an effort in season 11, which shows some of the early signs of better inclusion but also backtracking or edging nervously away from the more intense Carver era stuff. Not just because Dean didn’t have the Mark any more but in general it was like someone had opened a window and let in some fresh air... Even before Carver bailed somewhere around the midseason to go do a different show and Dabb started to step up. 

All this to say that the Wayward stuff was always about the female characters and making up for the past sins of the show. It’s even a riff on the “wayward son” line which obviously centres around male protagonists and their journey. Claire stumbled into being a part of it in the lucky way of being in the right place and time, but the journey had already started even in the season 10 momentum with earlier work and it was that which suddenly made the prospect that Jody had two young women living with her now seem like a starter for the next generation of the show as it was a mirrored format to season 1 in a way, if you took Alex and Claire as the new Sam and Dean. It was exciting but people flipped out after Angel Heart because stuff had been bubbling since season 9 and earlier in season 10, so this was just pouring more candy into an already visibly full bowl of potential tasty gems. It made a possibility seem real that hadn’t before because we already had Kim bitterly complaining that the CW refused to hear the case for a Jody spin off because she was too old. The next best thing was a Jody spin off where she was the Gandalf to some CW age appropriate characters.

(the CW is and always has been garbage)

Anyway in season 13 Jack was introduced as a Claire 2.0 but as a male character with staying power for that reason, but he was filling the space she left for Cas. He couldn’t be a father to her and neither really wanted that set up anyway. But thematically it had created the possibility of Dadstiel and the space he had in his heart for that. Since the show was in its waning years they would be looking for endgame and handing Cas an easy win with a son he could unconditionally love who would love him back unconditionally absolutely filled that gap. It was a non SamnDean thing that Cas could have for himself outside of whatever happened with them. Not sure the memo came back that he was supposed to have mORE than that but oh well it’s not real if you don’t watch it :))) But yeah Jack was always going to be linked to Cas’s endgame, he wasn’t a free-floating character such as Jody who could go where she wanted and do as she pleased. He was main story relevant from start to finish and tied inexorably to another main character’s fate. Because the show wouldn’t do that with its female characters they could be bundled into spin offs but in practical terms Jack was both never what the Wayward as envisioned by fans or writers was about, nor would he have been free to go. 

Since it would have been about centering the stories of people overlooked by the main story, Claire a case in point that she had her life ruined in season 4 and it was a footnote until season ten, and then metaphorically more the concept of having queer and non-white characters in the mix of main characters, it would have represented a future of the story where the main show was unable to tread. Probably because of the CW. Also inherent biases in the writers. Bad cocktail. Jack is both too white and too male to fit the brief to ever leave SPN, and not only that but he is so as a precise mirror to the main white male characters, being passably any one of their sons if you squint, and meant to be instantly instinctively read as such... he was one of the safest bets of representing the show as the network wanted to imagine its target demographic.

So I really don’t think that Jack has any place being in a spin off of the show unless you want more of the same. They tried to give us something different and the CW didn’t like it because it wasn’t more of the same. Ironically a Jack spin off, with or without Claire, would have more chance of being greenlit and more chance of success. But the spin off they put their heart behind was Wayward Sisters as it was. And I think it was absolutely correct that never mind leaving Jack out of it after his work was done in the lead up episode to help set the table, but honestly they could have cut all the middle scenes of Sam and Dean wandering in the woods and gained precious seconds with the girls and still had a functioning story with those guys. It was like some cowardly missive was sent that the show couldn’t actually go more than 10 minutes without showing a flesh and blood Winchester or the whole thing would spontaneously sizzle out of syndication and the money tree would wither on the spot. And in the mean time, we could have been having Banter with the girls. Or Claire and Kaia holding hands some more. The good stuff :P 

[prince-of-elsinore]

1, 6, 7, 28

1. Fave Ghost ep

Already answered!

6. What do you like about your least favourite season?

Tbh I'm not sure what my absolute least favorites season is. I'm not a fan of Dabbernatural in general. That said, on rewatches it's always season 9 that I tend to stall out on. Even if it's not objectively the worst, I find it hardest to watch for a variety of reasons. So I'll go with season 9. I like Abaddon! She was a really cool antagonist!

7. What do you dislike about your favourite season?

My favorite is season 2, because it is uniformly excellent and also nostalgia :) It's actually really hard to think of something I don't like... Okay, Sam's thing with Madison the werewolf in Heart is just so awkward and forced and melodramatic, imo! When she folds her underwear in front of him? Who DOES that? 😂

Ok but slightly more serious answer--I guess they could have gotten more mileage out of the special children. Developed more of them as side characters, had a three-part finale instead of two-part :)

28. Cruelest things TFW has done to each other?

Oh man this one is so hard, and hard to talk about.

I guess I’ll start with Castiel. I think him taking down Sam’s wall was very shitty! That’s probably actually the cruelest things he’s done to /both/ of them, considering how much Dean cares about Sam, and that the aftermath had terrible repercussions for them both.

Cruelest thing Dean has done to Cass—I honestly don’t know, I don’t really keep track. But he’s pretty rude to him in general? Like when he kicks Cass out of the bunker in s9 because of Gadreel, he doesn’t even try to soften the blow. I know he’s not happy about it, but he could have tried to help him more, I guess.

Cruelest thing Sam has done to Cass—has Sam ever been mean to Cass? I can’t remember lol. So okay, sort of tongue-in-cheek answer: being Dean’s no.1 and relegating Cass to eternal third wheel status. 🙃

For Dean and Sam, I’m excluding Soulless and Demon states.

Cruelest thing Dean has ever done to Sam: I have two answers, can’t decide which is worse. Obviously, tricking Sam into accepting Gadreel is one. I have such complex feelings about that whole situation. While I’m not unsympathetic to Dean’s (admittedly impaired) reasoning in his moment of desperation, it’s probably the worst thing he’s done in terms of repercussions. Sam had to go through the terrifying experience of possession again, and being used to kill Kevin was especially traumatic. (I have so many more thoughts about this arc but this is not the place… basically I just wish the show let them have the big blow up confrontation they needed and then actually talk about it and have Dean apologize.)

The other is MOC Dean telling Sam he had to die and nearly killing him. I don’t hold MOC Dean’s actions against him because he was clearly under the corrupting influence of an external power—I read a good meta recently likening the MOC to brain damage that would impair a person’s capacity for empathy, and I think that’s accurate. In this case, there was hardly anything separating Dean from demon-hood, so maybe it’s not fair to count this. But I’m thinking of the cruelty of Sam having to go through that. Sam, who so badly needs his big brother’s approval, needs to hear that he thinks Sam is good. Dean, who has gone to such lengths to keep Sam alive this long, going back on this core tenet of their relationship and Sam’s very identity. After Sam got a second chance at life after the Cage, he has to hear his big brother tell him he needs to die again for the good of the universe, when all he’s been trying to do is save Dean. :C

Cruelest thing Sam has done to Dean: Two answers, again. The first relates to the post-Purgatory fallout. It’s /not/ ‘he didn’t look for Dean!’ because I get that he was lost and in mourning. But it’s Sam’s reaction to Dean’s hurt that I take issue with. Now, don’t get me wrong: mostly, I blame the writers. It’s just not a very well-handled arc which is why it seems OOC. But Sam doesn’t really acknowledge Dean’s feelings, which imo stem from a misunderstanding, a lack of communication on Sam’s end. In a way, Sam not standing up for himself is the most hurtful thing he could do to Dean here. He doesn’t seem to care to explain his mourning process or mental state—he just leaves it at “but we promised!” which honestly makes it sound like he didn’t miss Dean, didn’t want to bring him back, was perfectly happy with his woman and his dog. He lets Dean believe that he really doesn’t care as much about their bond. Which obviously isn’t the truth, but if I were Dean in this situation, I’d be shook up too.

The other one is actually sort of a similar issue, and it’s also related to Gadreel. It’s about Sam’s ‘I wouldn’t have done the same’ comment. Again, don’t get me wrong—I understand Sam perfectly here. I know why he wouldn’t do the same, and I’m not taking issue with his stance at all. I also get that he is extremely, validly pissed. But here, again, though I’m not blaming Sam, I’m thinking about how it affects Dean. It’s another part of the Gadreel fallout I really wish the writers had addressed. Because Dean needs to understand Sam’s anger, but with that comment, Sam isn’t really trying to make Dean understand anything. He’s not bothering to explain himself, and not caring that it hurts his brother (right now, can’t blame him given his anger. Down the line though, they should talk). All that Dean hears with that statement is “I wouldn’t save you”—a reiteration of the problem with communication in s8. So again, Dean is left believing that Sam really doesn’t love him as much, and it’s a terrible blow. His confidence in the one thing he cares most about is utterly shaken and it sets him on a dark path. Sam wasn’t wrong to say it, but I wish at some point he’d tried to clarify (which I think he was trying to do through his actions in s10, with his desperation to save Dean—but that still doesn’t clear up the misunderstanding! Grr writers)

Hm, interesting that Dean’s worsts are actions, and Sam’s worsts are words (or silences). Not sure what it means, take it as you will. And please don't hate me 🙃 I love both brothers so much!!

Thank you for the ask!!

Ask game

[renisfan]

Hope you don't find it offensive but I have to disagree about some points because I'm just so normal about the mitri 🥺

Dimitri had been operating under the premise that he would get killed by those he hurt someday all the time. You learn this from his death quote and A support, and that's also why he just accepted his fate when Fleche attacked him. What shocked him was that Rodrigue died in his stead - and told right to his face that he doesn't want revenge.

And yes, he would and was going to and totally will kill Randolph, not immediately but certainly after he had made him taste enough pain, just like how he had done to the rebels in 1178, and to the countless imperial soldiers during the five years. If Randolph hadn't died yet when Fleche got to the kingdom army, he probably would wish that he had. And I doubt anyone would be able to talk him out of it since he was clearly not in the mental state to listen. (But he certainly wouldn't want to lay hands on his friends so there could be a chance if they just meat-shield Randolph? If anyone would want to do that, that is.)

Ferdie & Lorenz is a different case because they're schoolmates, and the devs had decided that schoolmates would automatically have attachment to each other, so they can create uwus. It's true that many of his threats are mere words like how he would shout "kill every last of one!", but then in the actual battle it became:

But again these are schoolmates (or teachers?). Randolph is no schoolmate, for all the mitri knew he's just some stranger who:

Had attacked Garreg Mach twice.

May have attempted assault on Byleth which he very much doesn't approve.

May have also accused him of not caring about human lives, much to his amusement.

Certainly had deemed him a monster incapable of family love (tfw the whole reason why he had been doing all these is because he loved his family too much).

And worst of all, claiming it's ok to kill people if it's for the Greater Gud™, which he hates the most (we learned this from the Lonato chapter).

To quote a popular saying in Japan, it's like he had just performed a tap dance on the minefield. He's no Ferdie or Lorenz, but closer to Metodey or that unfortunate soldier who got his skull crushed by the gorilla grip.

And don't forget that in no way Fleche would know who actually dealt the blow. All she knew was that Randolph fought an army which had the infamous murderer as their leader figure and died. She had enough reason to target him (but not enough reason why she didn't do the same on SS/VW, maybe she just assumed a gruesome death to her brother because of the monster's bad fame?)

I feel like saying Fleche targeted the wrong person is in a sense similar to edelstans saying Dimitri targeted the wrong person because Edel didn't do Duscur, and let's not descend to that level.

Next, I think the mitri didn't do what he did to make the voices stop tormenting him, but that he believes the owners of those voices are being tormented in their afterlives, and thus wants to relieve them from their pain. It's a small difference but important. He dgaf if he's being tormented himself.

Lastly, he didn't "start" to think and reason after Gronder. He had been understanding the situation well enough to see what was the right option this whole time, that was why he could only tell Rodrigue to shut up at Ailell, and imo why he had 2 whole windows of counterargument prepared if you said we should go to Fhirdiad, but would only briefly comment how you and him were "getting along so well that it's annoying" (which was yeeted by localization) if you agreed with him to go to Enbarr. Like how he will say "that's what the professor would say" if you say let's go to Derdriu (which again is lost in the localization), he has expectation for your answers, and the expectation is that the professor would make the right choice.

In fact, he out right says this:

I want to do what I myself think is correct. ...That's the only atonement I can do.

He had been doing things that he doesn't think is correct himself. He had known what was correct but kept choosing to not do it. Why? Because he felt obligated to accomplish the revenge, but also because this:

Let alone defeating the Empire, I don't even have the power to take back the kingdom capital...nor do I have the right to do so.

The thing he thought was correct was also the thing he believed he had no right to do.

It's still wild to me that people will go to bat for the nothing characters that are Randolph and Fleche as proof of Dimitri being bad; we know next to nothing about them, they have miniscule screentime, what little we do know of Randolph paints him as human scum who'd do horrific things if it meant a chance at a promotion, and Fleche illogically only ever holds a grudge against someone for killing her brother if that someone is AM!Dimitri, with her completely vanishing from the game in every other route.

Eh,

I'd say they play the same purpose than this random child in TS in Roland's story - at this point, both lords want vengeance, and they have to face someone who also wants (misdirected!) vengeance at them, smth smthg like war sucks because people die.

But it's completely wasted in FE16, because, as you said, Randy isn't a random or a civilian or a war orphan, he is a general leading an attack on refugees/civilians/randoms to gain more fame, and dies in the process.

Now, can we say Flèche's anger and death are ultimately directed at Randolph, who died for nothing and took his sister down with him in his quest for "muhrit" ? Or are we supposed to think that this scene is important because Dimitri, the Blue Lord, isn't supposed to fall as low as the Imperial Army - something he comes close to (apparently?) ?

And yet again, it completely fails.

Because for one Randolph - who also had a family and loved ones - we have 50 Waldos and Baldis, whose lives aren't given any fuck about.

We don't see a war prisoner, or an Adrestian civilian accusing Supreme Leader of having sent her/his wife/husband/daughter/son to death with a conquest they never asked and trying to off her.

Only Dimitri receives this backlash from - invaders who wanted to invade and suddenly remember they have loved ones so are very sad when their loved ones dies - Flèche, but not Claude nor Billy, as you rightfully pointed out.

And Supreme Leader never receives any backlash - or wake up call - from a real third party/civilian/casualty who could have done the exact same thing.

Emile mentions how, during her attack, the Holy Grounds near Garreg Mach were turned in a slaughterhouse, why don't we have any civilian who survived from that try to take a jab at Supreme Leader? Waldi's best friend? Baldo's mother? A war captive from Leicester/Faerghus or a conscripted Adrestian?

I laughed about it with friends earlier, and again with the teatime paralogue, but it truly feels as if only 1/3rd (since the church doesn't count) of the cast will face consequences for the war and suffers backlash from the constant fighting (they didn't even start!).

Whenever you have to deal with serious stuff in Fodlan, it'll be for the BL members.

The rest? Will sip tea, talk nonsense, try to solve "mysteries" and live as if nothing is happening in the background.

Just imagine how both deer routes could have been much more impactful and interesting - instead of being a recycled Billy route with a different infodump at the end - if Raphael's sister popped up to a War Council, asking Claude to stop coddling the Empire because their lands were invaded, her grandfather put to Aymr and her inn destroyed by the Imperial Army, or how Ignatz's older brother discovers how Adrestia is burning pieces of art and history and every material related to Leicester and Faerghus history because they want to push an "Adrestia Eternal" narrative. Heck, Claude could even discover more "lore" by picking a Leif route, sort of rescuing the people "handpicked" to become new Baldos and Waldis, discovering the secret of the artificial crest stones and maybe having an infiltration map where, lo, instead of receiving an info dump, they maybe witness Rhea being turned in a relic or used to "produce" artificial crest stones.

War BaD, but only when we can make the BL suffer for it, for the rest, it's just a bgm.

And even then, it can't be too critical of Supreme Leader, because she was made to sell alts in FE heroes or dubious Cipher Cards.

"Supreme Leader", "cute girls" and "I want to see how Faerghus and its knights will deal with the aftermath of the Tragedy while defending against the invading forces".

Tl; dr : Flèche and Randolph are named, which is a cheap way to make people care for them despite their role in the plot, but the demonic beasts and the civilians dying aren't mentionned nor talked about.

Hell, why do you think I gave names to the artificial demonic beasts? The game doesn't want you to think too much about them, but if I talk about Baldo and Waldi, maybe the fandom will?

[orionsangel86]

15x04 Episode Review - What a Meta Rollercoaster THAT was!

Jensen Ackles directed this. Let that sink in before you read on. Because this means EVERYTHING.

Davy Perez said on Twitter that he had a lot of help with this episode from Bobo, Dabb, Meredith, Even from Jensen and Rob. Which seems pretty clear from me as I was blown away by what I consider a meta masterpiece.

There is a lot to unpack here so let me just jump straight in with my favourite part:

THE REDEEMED FANGIRL AND THE BRONLY GOD

In an episode directed by Jensen Ackles it both astonishes me and pleases me immensely that the strongest and most interesting plot didn’t involve the brothers. Every single scene with Becky and Chuck was a galaxy brain of meta and my head is still buzzing about it. 

**Meta Essay under the cut**

Becky has changed. She has grown up, has gone to therapy, has channelled previously unhealthy behaviour into a stable and successful Etsy business. She is the model fangirl. No longer the source of this shows mockery. Becky shuddered when remembering what she did to Sam. Showing her regret and guilt over her former actions leading the way for this fanbase to forgive and redeem her. Formerly Becky was portrayed as a mockery of those in the fandom who irritated Kripke, now she has grown beyond that dark and hateful corner, has welcomed Castiel into her home as the character whose form appears most often on her shelves. Clearly Becky is a Cas stan now. I bet she ships Destiel in those domestic AU’s she writes on AO3. Only Cas stans and Destiel shippers proclaim “not enough Cas” when referring to the source material after all.

However even though the positive message of the reformed fangirl from obsessive incest fetishist into healthy Cas fan filled me with joy, it wasn’t my top take away moment from these scenes. The entire message of Chuck and Becky’s conversation makes me want to cry tears of joy. After all, it isn’t often your favourite show includes an avatar of yourself arguing with an avatar for the writers - or at least, the villainous arrogant writer who refuses to acknowledge you. 

Becky likes the character drama. Chuck likes the monsters. Becky doesn’t care for the monsters. Chuck brings up the Leviathan (because of course Chuck would enjoy the season that first tried to “go back to the shows roots” and reduce the format back to just “Sam and Dean alone on the road”). Chuck tells her that fanfiction doesn’t count, but our strong willed fangirl avatar tells him “writings writing!” and damn right you are Becky. It counts.

Then Becky goes and blows my mind by speaking aloud in my favourite show the kind of things that I think and talk about every time this show brings out another generic MOTW episode:

“If I had to give one note, the jeopardy Chuck, its feeling a little thin. No stakes. It’s fun to hear the boys voices but a story is only as good as its villain and these villains are just not feeling very dangerous. Not to mention there’s no classic rock, no one even mentions Cas, the climax is a little stale. The boys tied up again while we get the villains monologue which frankly isn’t one of your best. A hint of originality wouldn’t… hurt.”

(x)

At this point I might as well be on the floor because holy shit Becky is me. When did the writers become so very aware of their fanbase? It’s taken them 15 years, but they are finally here. Chuck is fuming of course. How dare a fangirl criticise his work, so instead of taking her advice on board, he plays up. He gets mean.

Chuck’s perfect SPN ending is tragic and in some weird insanely meta way this feels like a message from the writers telling us that they hear us because Becky once again says what we have ALL been screaming on Twitter about a tragic ending:

“It’s awful. Horrible! It’s hopeless! You can’t do this to the fans! What you did to Dean? What you did to Sam?”

I keep thinking that the SPN writers have made Chuck into a parody of the GoT writers. Chuck is arrogant, egotistical, and completely incapable of taking criticism. He went to Becky hoping she would fluff up his ego, but she shot him down and unfortunately, he destroyed her for it. 

The message here though is one of hope. Everything about Chuck is framed as negative, as villainous - this includes the tragic ending. Therefore if there is one thing I am practically certain of after this episode it’s that the actual finale will subvert Chuck’s vision. We will not be getting a tragic death ending to the show.

The other thing I can’t quite believe that the writers have done here, in an episode directed by Jensen is the shaaaade. I’m honestly feeling a little sorry for the bibro’s right now. Because the writers have been shading them HARD this season. Chuck has proven himself to be one of them. Imagine having the writers see you and the things you like about the show, and make you into the actual villain? I mean... ouch.

Reasons Chuck is a Bibro

He has tunnel vision on Sam and Dean (ignores Castiel completely)

He is all about the MOTW episodes. Doesn’t pay attention to depth of character

He clearly enjoyed season 7 MOTW brother only season

He believes a tragic brother only ending would be loved by the fans

He wants a dark tragic ending

When Becky recommends he write something else, he moans that he only likes Sam and Dean and only wants to write about them.

He is arrogant, egotistical and doesn’t listen to criticism.

(this is technically a crack intermission to an otherwise serious meta post but ADMIT IT there is truth to this crack!)

SAM AND DEAN - CHUCKS PUPPETS?

Whilst Becky faces Chuck and makes all our meta writer hearts pound with excitement, the other main story was a rather generic MOTW episode. But wasn’t that the whole point? What a genius twist on a MOTW this episode was. We all know the formula, so overdone now in the show that it has grown tiresome. Yet to have that tiresome format called out in the very episode that... includes... that...format... well, that’s gotta be one of the most meta things this show has ever done. I’m in awe. 

Sam and Dean investigate the mysterious death of a cheerleader at Beaverdale high school (and even though I don’t watch Riverdale even I can see how this school is a blatant nod to that terrible show #sorrynotsorry). It starts off pretty boring and normal. Sam and Dean do their thing, they wear the suits and pretend to be feds. They suspect Veronica (again Riverdale fans are probably enjoying this) but realise that she can’t be their vamp. The boys seem quite lost as to who is responsible... until Chuck starts writing that is. Then suddenly a random car driving past the crime scene on CCTV is enough for them to enter someones house with a machete. It’s a sloppy MOTW storyline, but this seems intentional IMO. From the moment Sam and Dean are back in their lumberjack chic and storming the family home to accuse the father of being the vamp, something feels off - or it did to me anyway. 

In fact, as this was all playing out right at the moment that Becky critiqued Chuck’s writing, it felt as if she was critiquing the very MOTW hunt that we were watching, at least from that point onwards. 

Suddenly we are back in Chuck’s world and he’s made it dark and tragic. 

The son in this nuclear family is Jack. unwillingly monstrous, innocent and guilty at the same time. The father, so desperate and self sacrificial for his child - heartbreakingly Castiel:

“You don’t have children do you, because if you did you would know that to see your child in pain, rips your heart out, and you’d know that you’d do anything. You’d die for them.”

The mother, wide eyed, armed and dangerous - Clearly Dean:

“Or kill for them.”

The son plays his part perfectly. Chuck be proud:

“I killed someone that I loved” 

“I’m a monster” 

Compare this to Jack in 14x20 saying to Dean as he stares down the barrel of the gun “You were right. I am the monster.”

But we as the audience know that this situation is wrong. There is no real monster here other than Chuck. The boy is a victim just as Jack was. The parents forced into desperate circumstances out of love. They may be the stereotypical white middle class American family made of privilege and self obsession, but what they do is still purely out of love. It is a situation they are forced into by Chuck, just as he forced the TFW family into the same situation at the end of last season, and we are made to look on in horror as what happened in the season 14 finale happens again, and yet Sam and Dean barely blink or question their actions. This is the strangest part of all. 

Sam’s reaction is interesting, because he knows this is wrong. He knows they shouldn’t be killing this kid. He can see the mirror, the repeated story here. He can TELL that something isn’t right... but he doesn’t speak up, doesn’t protest, doesn’t stop it. 

Dean doesn’t question a damn thing. He plays his part perfectly. It’s haunting. Chuck almost had his clutches in Dean before, but this time his hold is tight. 

Look at how this was framed and tell me this whole thing isn’t Chuck’s doing?

In both scenes Sam looks on in horror knowing that it isn’t right. But this time no one protests, and Chuck get’s his horrific ending.

Chuck banishes Becky and her family, and arrogantly proclaims that he “can do anything, I’m a writer” and the next scene cuts to Sam and Dean in the car ready for the classic Bro Melodrama moment as to be expected of all standard MOTW, but this time, it feels like they are reading from a script - at least at first:

Dean: “Well that was an interesting one.”

Sam: “Yeah. What Henry did. We’d have done the same thing. For Jack, if we’d had the chance.”

Dean: “Yeah. Yeah we would. Look man I get it. I get it we have lost way way too much. And its hard enough to feel like just cashing up. I felt like that. After Chuck back at the crypt. But you know what brought me back, you did. You saying that what we do still matters.

That’s why I wanted to drag us out here, to work the case, to save lives. Ya know. Because it is, it’s a crap job. We do the ugly thing so people can live happy.”

Sam: “Lucky them.”

Dean: “Yeah lucky them.”

Sam: “But it doesn’t change a thing. Ya know you still do the job. We don’t do it for us. We do it for Jack, for mom, for Rowena. We owe it to everyone whose ever given a damn about us to keep putting one foot in front of the other. No matter what.

Hey man like you said, now that Chucks gone. We’re finally on our own. We are finally free to… move on. Ya know.”

Sam: “Yeah I dunno I dunno if I can move on. I can’t forget any of them. I still think about Jessica. I can’t just let that go.”

Dean: “No man that’s not what I’m talking about.”

Sam: “I know I know I’m sorry I know. What I’m saying is that I don’t feel free. What we’ve done, what we’ve lost, right now that is what I’m feeling and sometimes its, its like I can’t even breath. Maybe tomorrow, maybe ill feel better in the morning.”

Dean: “And what if you don’t?”

Sam: “I dunno.”

First of all, would they REALLY have done the same thing for Jack? Kidnapped and bled an innocent girl to feed him? Because I don’t think they would have. Then Dean goes into a monologue that we have heard over and over again and it feels like he is reading from a script. It’s like going through the motions. We are back in Chuck’s worlds. There is no freedom here. Even the lack of Cas mention which we can argue is because Dean is burying those feelings and in denial, even so it feels jarring in the episode where the lack of Cas mention was already called out directly by Becky, so it only further adds to how disjointed this whole scene is. Like this scene is pure wank fodder for Bibro Chuck. Quite frankly, it is. But this time it feels like the writers are aware of this and are doing it purposely to MAKE it feel off.

The one time the script seems to trip is when Dean mentions moving on - triggering Cas’s words from last week, which he struggles with, and then Sam protests and actually opens up to how he is really feeling. The brother’s are back in Chuck’s maze, and this time it seems like he has made it impossible to deviate from the path - but I do wonder if Sam is going to be harder to control because of the connection...

The final shot of the episode only seems to further confirm that the Winchesters are once again being manipulated by Chuck. They are his puppets again, and this time it may even be worse:

There is a huge sense of foreboding with this final shot. The shaking funko pops seemingly in fear of what Chuck plans to do. The two feathers behind them indicating their missing guardian angel (as Chuck continues to neglect Cas’s role in classic Bronly form) the tree indicating a garden? Heaven? and the grey paper with the Winchester tattoo potentially the gravestone that Chuck visualised? 

Whatever Chuck has planned, it appears to have played out in some form in this episode. Whilst I don’t think that the boys have been completely robbed of their free will, it is safe to say that they are back to playing by Chuck’s script, but this time with the confidence of men who think they are free. 

CASTIEL AS THE CATALYST FOR FREE WILL

For years now, I have been one of those annoying people irritating Cas fans by being irrationally happy when Cas isn’t in key episodes because I can see him so clearly in the negative space that his absence basically forms its own overshadowing presence instead. 

When I have rambled on about negative space in the past, it is almost always connected to MOTW episodes following some big DeanCas drama, and on the surface level, people have moaned about how the Cas mention wasn’t enough, or Dean hasn’t acknowledged him or something like that.

Well, this episode is no exception. But this episode IS different in that this episode textually calls out the lack of Cas blatantly within it’s script. Which is just some next level self awareness from this show that I am amazed by.

The entire first three episodes of this season spiralled around this DeanCas tension and drama which us Destiel shipping meta writers could barely believe we were watching since it is practically unheard of for this show to set its emotional A plot around Dean and Cas rather than Sam and Dean. But that is what Dabb has done. When that tension came to its climax in 15x03′s final scene, it was well speculated that 15x04 would understate the DeanCas break up due to the episodes being filmed out of order and therefore Jensen not knowing exactly the impact of the break up when he filmed his scenes for this episode. 

Well, we were certainly right that it was understated, with Dean basically burying his feelings in denial and work and food and drink. Until Chuck started writing and therefore took control back of the script, Dean was eating or drinking in practically every single scene. As he is well known for using food and alcohol has coping mechanisms when spiralling into a dark mindset. Other than these key clues, Dean doesn’t mention Cas once. So we can speculate that he hasn’t told Sam what happened, and probably made up some excuse about Cas leaving so that Sam wasn’t concerned. Though no doubt we will find out the extent of what Sam knows fairly soon.

On a surface level, DeanCas shippers and Cas fans have a right to be somewhat upset by this lack of acknowledgement of Cas, even though it is perfectly in character for Dean to bury his feelings in denial and distractions. But beneath the surface this meta masterpiece of an episode was so full to bursting with Cas it left me very happy. Lets go through the key Cas positive areas:

1. The AU world vision of Sam’s that opens the episode is dark and depressing and indicates a world in which Sam's demon blood obsession got the better of him, which was a season 4 story arc (which we all remember as Cas’s introductory season), and yet Benny appears as Dean’s right hand man, a season 8 story arc founded in Purgatory (which we all relate heavily to Cas). Castiel is mysteriously absent from this vision though, even though the two key story lines here in the OG world heavily revolved around Cas. The question has to be asked, in fact the entire vision demands we ask it, just as Becky points out later: Where is Cas? This AU world is sure to appear later in the show, and I have a feeling Castiel’s absence will be explained.

2. Becky’s house - The crew clearly had a lot of fun filling this set with fan made merchandise (and what a wonderful way to reward your fanbase by including their creations in the show itself?). As a Cas girl my eagle eyes were mainly looking for any Cas merch and I was not disappointed. In fact there wasn’t a single scene in Becky’s house where a Cas figure of some kind wasn’t in frame. Whether that was Jensen’s decision or not, it makes me very happy. I talk here about the specific arrangement of Cas merch paired up with Dean merch which blatantly proves Becky is a Destiel shipper). In fact, Cas looms in the background in every scene until Cas sits down at the end to write his tragic ending when the camera pans to the Winchester funko pops bobbing like puppets. Cas is jarringly absent from that scene which only further indicates that he has been overlooked and is therefore still free of Chuck’s manipulations.

3. “No one even mentions Cas” - Obviously this was the line that pulls everything else together. For this to be said in an episode in which the very complaint actually occurs is a whole other level of self awareness and by including it the writer is of course reminding the audience to question this very thing. Like with the first scene, like with every moment that Sam and Dean are on screen together stubbornly not mentioning Cas or the extremely dramatic emotional break up scene at the end of the last episode, this line links everything together and forces the audience to keep Cas at the forefront of their mind.

4. The Bro Melodrama scene - As I mentioned above, this whole scene feels like the brothers are reading from a script and going through the motions but particularly Dean, whose stubborn refusal to mention Cas when he says “ We do it for Jack, for mom, for Rowena. We owe it to everyone whose ever given a damn about us to keep putting one foot in front of the other. No matter what.” it feels so intentional that they have left him out here. Thanks to that one line from Becky, the lack of Cas mention is impossible to ignore. He is so present in the negative space that its like a brick to the face. There is no way that there isn’t an agenda here regarding Castiel.

5. Castiel as the self sacrificing father - The second most glaringly obvious mirror in the episode after the son that mirrors Jack, the father of the vampire boy was far too ready to be killed by the Winchesters if it meant saving his sons life. Neither Sam nor Dean ever willingly offered themselves up for Jack, but we as the audience know all too well that Cas did in one of the most heartbreakingly emotional moments of Season 14. In an episode where the Winchesters stubbornly refuse to mention Cas (though Dean’s drinking on the job and overeager consumption of meaty food are a good indicator of his repressed feelings), Cas forces his presence on them anyway. It is a clear indicator of how close and important Cas is to the story that it is impossible for the boys to ever really forget about him, and I suspect that this will start to eat at Dean very soon.

6. Chuck overlooks the most powerful player - What ties in everything I have mentioned above already about Cas in the negative space, is Chuck. Because the whole point of this episode is that whilst he argues with Becky - the avatar for an inclusive healthy fandom that clearly adores Castiel and surrounds themselves in his image - we are left watching a stale and relatively boring MOTW episode where the Winchesters really do act like nothing more than shallow two dimensional bronly versions of themselves - because that’s what Chuck forces them to be. Chuck, who sits down and types with his Sam and Dean puppets metaphorically shaking with fear as they are condemned to live under his pen once again. It isn’t an accident that in a house surrounded with Cas merch no matter where you look, the one time his image isn’t in frame is that all important last shot - an indication that whilst Sam and Dean may now be under Chuck’s control, Castiel is not. Therefore Castiel’s importance in freeing the boys from Chuck’s villainous tragic ending becomes elevated. This episode symbolically makes Castiel the catalyst for true free will - after all, Castiel himself finally took control of his life and his mental health last week when he chose to walk away. In an episode where his presence in the negative space couldn’t be more obvious - he is the metaphorical elephant in the room - I can’t help but wonder just what role he has to play in Chuck’s vision, because right now it seems Chuck has simply forgot about him. A terribly foolish thing to do given everything Castiel has proven to be capable of.

OVERALL

As a quick summary, I’ll say I loved this episode and everything about it. Even the puppet bronly Winchesters because they were so clearly framed as being wrong. It’s such a hopeful episode, that indicates a hopeful non tragic inclusive TFW ending at least. Chuck is the villain and he will be beaten in the end. Dean and Cas will reunite and it will be the kind of scene that will rip all our hearts out in its emotional investment. Jensen Ackles directed an episode that threw major shade at the Bronly fandom corners, that celebrated TFW inclusivity through the reformed healthy successful fangirl Becky. That villainised the dark tragic brother only ending. This was a thoroughly validating and satisfying episode for me as a meta writer to watch. It has elevated my hope for the rest of the season, and following the incredibly emotional Destiel break up scene that held the focus of the last episode, I can’t stop myself from feeling joy just knowing that right now, everything that I watch this show for, all the things I adore about it, are the same things the writers of this show enjoy and are making the focal points for the series.

This isn’t a show for people that only care about seasons 1-3. This isn’t a show for people who hate Cas. This isn’t a show for people who fetishise the dark, depressing tragic game of thrones style brother ending. This is a show for people like me. Who actually enjoy it and celebrate it and can’t wait to see what happens next.

[the-american-witch]

Strength In Numbers

Originally a prompt from @supernaturalimagine: Imagine being a hunter with TFW and getting diagnosed with cancer, so the boys help you through everything

Word Count: 1802

Warnings: Cancer, awkward hugs, angst, mentions of medical testing including blood, alcohol as a coping mechanism

A/N: This became a truly self indulgent piece, I wrote this while nearing my own five year anniversary of beating cancer and I thought (and still think to this day) “What if it came back?”

The day you hoped would never happen and dreaded has finally come. It was supposed to be so simple. Go in. Draw some blood. Get the results and OK from the doc. Leave and be on your merry way. There weren’t supposed to be any extra tests. No CAT-scans. No ultrasounds. Not this. Please, God, not this. You were supposed to die on a hunt. Maybe by demon or eaten by a werewolf or hexed by a witch. Not something as ordinary and mundane and everyday as this.

You got back to the bunker as quietly as possible and went to the dining room. You got a pie fresh from the bakery downtown, some pizza, and five bottles of the grocery store’s most expensive whiskey. You didn’t know how your boys would react but you planned on drinking at least two bottles yourself.

You figured the two Winchesters were either in their rooms or the library. Cas, you hoped, would  come when you prayed to him. You opened the first pizza box, a meat lovers, and within 20 seconds flat Dean and Sam came and started chomping on the slices like the gigantors they are. Dean let out an indecent moan making you roll your eyes as you picked up your own slice.

The older Winchester eyed the pie. “Pizza and pie? Holy shit, y/n. I could kiss you!”

You wrinkled your nose. “Not with your mouth full of pizza mush you won’t!” You all talked about the current case they were working on. Possibly a ghost in a town a couple states over. You offered to help anyway you could, even if it was playing “sympathetic stranger” to the vics’ loved ones.

After a while you set out four tumblers and filled them while silently praying to Cas.

“Hello, Y/n. You called?” asked Cas.

“Hiya, Cas.” You greeted warmly. “Just wanted to know if you wanted to eat and drink with us. Even got the hamburger pizza you like.” wagging your brows. Cas squinted at you and for a second you worried that he had you figured out. After a moment though he sat down and ate the pizza quietly.

The four of you ate and drank and after about a half hour you felt the tell-tale sign of the warmth spreading through your body. You poured even more in your glass, emptying it and placing it on the ground and replacing it with another. You thought you saw Sam and Dean give each other a look at that, but you were too consumed in trying to figure out how to tell them to care.

You looked up from your glass and smiled a bit too brightly. “Who wants pie? I could go for some pie.” That time you see that all of your boys shared a look. There was no denying it.

Sam was the first one to break the silence. “Um, not that we don’t appreciate all of... this,” he started, gesturing towards the pizza, whiskey, and pie, “but, um, what’s all this about?” At your (faux) confused look he stumbled over his words trying to elaborate. “It just seems a bit...”

“Over the top,” supplied Dean, taking a drink.

 Sam nodded in agreement. “Yeah...over the top. We just want to know everything’s okay.” The other two nodded in assent.

You looked at your boys. Your family. You drank the rest of your whiskey in one go, creating a grounding burning sensation in your throat.

“Uh, there is something I need to tell you.” Immediately they tensed up and you rushed to soothe them. “Don’t worry it’s not anything supernatural or anything. Definitely not any kind of monster or demon or ghost or anything.” You let out a bitter laugh and poured more alcohol. “Definitely not.”

You watched Dean furrow and unfurrow his brows as he thought over those words.

But it was Cas who asked, “then, what is it you need to announce that would require so much alcohol?”

You laughed a bit too loud, making everyone in the room, even Cas, cringe. “Um, remember just after we met, we were swapping hunting stories...you saw the scar on my chest and asked about it, and I told you it was from a surgery and left it at that?” The boys nodded. “Obviously that’s not the whole story so.”

“Then what is?” you weren’t looking but you could feel Sam staring at you as he asked that.

“It’s where they put in the device they needed to inject my chemo. I am--I was a cancer survivor.” Met with silence you charged on with your oh-so-tragic-backstory. “Just before my freshman year of high school, I was diagnosed with Leukemia. Because of the type, all I needed was chemo. Hence the device. I’ve been in remission since I was sixteen, and I even made the five-year mark so yay me! Right? They say once you make it past the five year mark you’re basically cured right?” You drank even more and refilled their glasses before replacing the empty bottle for another. You felt a burning in your eyes and throat and you knew it wasn’t from the whiskey. Well, at least not completely.

“I went to the doctor today. Even after the five year mark they wanna check over you every so often. Make sure everything’s all peachy ya know? They got the blood work back and, uh,” you coughed out a laugh, desperately trying to hold back tears, “they found some numbers in the labs. Of course by then I already knew what it was. But they had to do everything by the book. So they did the tests. In the exact same order too. It was like being a scared little teenager all over again,” you stated, the first tear falling.

You heard a shuffle of movement, and felt a bunch of arms wrapping around you. “Um, it seems that, uh, apparently I r-relapsed.” You choked on the last word and started sobbing. “I was in treatment for over two years. I was, was doing so well. I-I’ve been cl-clean so long. After f-f-five years it’s supposed to be like imposs-impossible to relapse!” you cried out between sobs. “It’s not fair!” After that you laid your arms on the table, your head on your arms. Crying so hard you couldn’t speak anymore.

You felt a hand stroke your hair away from the table. Another rubbed circles on your back and two more grabbed your hands. Stroking the back with the pads of the thumbs. You guessed by the jerky movement hand on your back it was Cas’. The hands holding yours weren’t as calloused as Dean’s, making them Sam’s. Meaning that the oldest Winchester was the one stroking your hair, resting his cheek on your head. Of all the ways you imagined having hands everywhere on you...this was not fucking it.

How long you cried you didn’t know, but you did eventually slow down a bit. They continued to comfort you the whole time.

Once it was mostly sniffles and shaky breaths from you, you heard Dean softly ask Cas, “Can’t you do anything? Can’t you cure her?”

You knew it was a long shot, and weren’t even surprised when he murmured, “No. It’s beyond my powers to cure someone of an illness of the body’s own making.”

Dean raised his voice just a bit, but obviously trying to be soft for your sake. “But what about when Zach gave Sam cancer and then took it back?” You had no idea what Dean’s talking about so you assumed this was before you joined them.

“Like you said, it was Zachariah who gave it to Sam, so he was able to get rid of it. Besides, Zachariah was higher in rank than I was. Had more power. Sam’s was artificial. Y/n’s cancer is from her own body. No outside influences. Only an archangel or God himself could do what you’re asking.”

You raised your head a bit, just enough to state, “I did it the last time without God or the others. I can do it this time without them too.” You looked at your hands, still enclosed in Sam’s. “I don’t need God, I just need my family. Even if from afar.” You added on with a weak and watery smile.

Sam gave you a confused look. “‘Afar’? Why--? You don’t see us sticking with you through this?”

“...I’ll be in a hospital. With cops, Sam. With a shit load of security cameras.” Your voice gained some strength. “Not to mention I’ll have to give my real information. DOB, SSN, I’ll be on the grid again. You might be recognized and you can’t risk it. I can’t let you risk it. Not for this. Not for me.” You stated firmly.

You felt a puff of air against your head, and twisted to look up at Dean who was rolling his eyes. Cas looked remorseful, whether it was because of what was happening or because he couldn’t do anything about it you weren’t sure.

You raised an eyebrow at Dean, silently asking what that was about to which he responds, 

“C’mon Y/n. Do you really think that something small like security cameras is enough to scare us off? Since when do we run from them?”

You shook your head in exasperation. “Dean, this isn’t a laughing matter. I don’t want to be the reason you’re finally caught and sent to jail. I can’t have that on my conscience. I can’t be the reason you guys are locked up with who knows how many monsters and demons are roaming the world. I can’t-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Dean ceased your rant by turning your chair and placing his hands on your shoulders. “First of all, we’re with you no matter what, so whether you like it or not, you’re stuck with us and we’re not leaving you. Second of all, you know we know how to avoid things like cameras and how to ditch the cops. You’re not doing this on your own, we won’t let you.”

“Won’t let me? What like I won’t let you risk it all for me?”

“Yeah, sweetheart, exactly like that.”

You sighed, looking up and tried to blink back more tears that you already felt coming. “...I don’t get a say in this, do I?”

This time Sam scoffed and you briefly wondered if you should be offended they seem to be rapidly making disparaging you a past time. “Not a chance. Dean’s right, you’re right. You weren’t alone last time and you’re sure as hell not going to be alone this time. We’re with you, y/n.”

You sniffled and looked at each one of your boys. Look each of them in the eye and say, “Thank you.”

[sidecarghost]

My Spn Crack Ending in 3 ACTS + 1 BONUS ACT

This ending is the current iteration as of August, 2020 of my crack, clown wishlist ending. Probably could argue the only thing canon is the names of characters. This is just my attempt to make coherent my wishes and other beautiful, wild fandom wishes I’ve heard. And I think actual finale will be prob be different but also wonderful.

CRACK RECAP of stuff in episode before finale

Chuck gives up writing and goes back to gardening with Joshua

TFW celebrate the victory of getting Chuck to leave them alone, and happy Castiel gets claimed (dies) by the Empty

Finale Episode

All about revamping the broken afterlife system that has been failing

ACT 1 (Prep for the Empty)

Dean needs to bust into Empty to save Cas

Sam finds a spell in one of the Bunkers books for making an enchanted Zoom meeting

The enchantment allows Sam and Dean to have Zoom session with Heaven, Hell, Purgatory, and the Veil

Sam and Dean talk to all the chosen family they have made over the season

Zoom Jody, Donna, Claire, Alex, and Patience are excited to help in any plan that Sam & Dean come up with and suggest they talk to Kevin Tran

Kevin Tran says he doesn’t have any knowledge on the empty but if they find any tablets he might be able to translate, maybe someone in Hell can help

Rowena is brought into the meeting and she says hello boys Sam tells her the spell saved Eileen and Rowena is a proud auntie. She wants to help too, have they tried asking some of the friends they know in Heaven maybe they can sneak into Naomi’s files for intel on Empty

Bobby, Charlie, Ellen, Jo, Pamela, and Ash appear on Zoom meeting. Ash mentions that Jack had come by while Dumah was running things with some humans turned angels and since the Empty is only for angels and demons maybe they can get some angels created to rescue Castiel. The rest of the Heaven group is very excited about this idea

Dean is out-of-his-mind excited about being able to lead a squadron of angels to save Castiel and convinces Jack to transform him into angel along with his found family members that had fallen and are now souls in a failing Heaven

Sam supports his brother Dean and they have sweet brother moment bonding moment before Jack does magic to turn Dean into an angel

Sam thinks they should try calling Amara too since they need every ally they can get. Chuck is out of the question but the Darkness may help.

Amara is always fond of Dean so she is happy to help.

Then Dean and Jack head to Heaven and offer choice to hunter souls (Charlie, Bobby, Jo, Ellen, Pamela, Ash, etc...) to also become angels

ACT 2 (Rescue in the Empty)

Angel!Dean storms Empty to rescue Castiel with his hunter angel squadron and other cosmically powered friends

Jack, Amara, and Dean talk to the Cosmic Entity and convince CE to build a better afterlife for the entities in in the Empty.

Amara listens to and empathizes with Shadow, Amara understands loneliness and rage from her eons locked away by Chuck. She tells Shadow that their past doesn’t need to control their present.

Amara helps Shadow see the potential for beauty and wonder in the void of the Empty.

Darkness and Shadow create a new world in the Empty for angels and demons.

ACT 3 (Heaven Restored)

Castiel is resurrected as angel in Heaven. 

Heaven as office bureaucracy is demolished and is fully powered by the replenishment of Angels.

Jack offers souls that come to Heaven choice of being transformed into an Angel or resting in peace in paradise.

Angel!Charlie becomes queen of Heaven 

Because Charlie was effective queen during LARP episode so most qualified of the hunters

Charlie opens the gates of Heaven so souls are free to roam between each other’s paradises and revisit Earth as they choose (without fear of going insane)

Angel!Ellen and Angel!Jo reopen up roadhouse bar on Earth

Angel!Bobby works at the roadhouse bar handing out jobs to angels to do good works in the world and works with Sam and Eileen to partner angels and human hunters

Castiel mentors the new Hunter angels

Dean is bartender and also has Led Zepplin cover band with Adam/Michael, Gabriel, and reformed Chuck.

Jack also gets to travel between Heaven, Hell, Earth, and Empty to visit his family and friends.

Everything seems ready for happy ending BUT THEN

BONUS ACT 4 (Lucifer's return for reasons)

Sam prays to Angel!Dean frantically to tell him Lucifer had snuck out and escaped the Empty during Dean's siege

Lucifer is in the bunker and randomly drives off with Baby

Dean has no choice but to destroy Baby to stop Lucifer

Now Dean drives the little AU!Sam and Dean car whenever he's on Earth

Dean is very sad about losing Baby, so ending is bittersweet, sad, and poignant.

As Baby burns to ash the large chosen family of the Winchesters all gather around the bonfire to commiserate the end of Baby while classic rock ballad plays.

The final chord of the song finishes.

Then black out.

Threads wrapped up by above clowning

Sam and Dean have moved on from the hunter lifestyle that fate and their father had forced upon them. But helping people is still a part of who they are, so now they continue to do good work on their own terms.

Dean 

fulfills Deaths plan of fixing the failing afterlife system 

gets to run a bar and sing in a rock band with his found family

spends eternity with Castiel

Sam 

fulfills his dream of finding his own life and starting family

Sam gets chance to try to have relationship with Eileen without weird Chuck trying to manipulate them

gets to lead a hunter school in Bunker and mentor the next generation of hunters

Castiel 

makes things right by restoring Heaven to better than before by mentoring the next generation of Angels

spends eternity with Dean

Jack 

fulfills destiny of creating paradise by populating Heaven with badass angels instead of pencil pushers 

Angels now actively try to spread good works with humanity and provide watchful eye that things stay in balance instead of being dicks with wings

gets to be raised by his three dads as he travels between realms.

Rowena & demons, Charlie & angels, Amara & Shadow, Sam & Eileen

handle stuff for Hell, Heaven, Empty, and Earth

Purgatory seems to continue doing fine as monster chaos

Chuck 

gives up living vicariously through his creations and becomes a hands off God like he was in season 4.

Charlie

After being unfridged, she is amazing lesbian Queen ruling gloriously over Heaven

Baby 

given a hunter’s funeral and burned to ash

[vvivacious101]

Re-rewatching S06E20 - The Man Who Would Be King

I have no words. This episode manages to floor me every single time. In 2020, when we have season 15 with all it’s blatant focus on Cas and Dean and their relationship, I’m still astounded by the sheer depth of this episode. It is so good. It is so heart-wrenching. It’s like witnessing a break-up. Wait, scratch that, it’s exactly like a break-up.

Rachel: What does God want?

Cas: God wants you to have freedom.

Rachel: What does he want us to do with it?

Cas: [narrating] If I knew then what I know now, I might have said, "It's simple. Freedom is a length of rope. God wants you to hang yourself with it."

This is Cas’ side of the story and it’s humbling. I mean a lot of the choices Cas makes aren’t bad. He realises that angels aren’t really built for freedom but he forgets he’s an angel too and literally freedom isn’t such an easy thing to deal with because as Cas realises with freedom comes responsibility and even so late in season 6, Cas wants to give up the responsibility.

In 4x16, On the Head of a Pin, when Cas first considered rebellion he went to Anna because he wanted her to make the decision for him but she refused which prepared Cas for just how treacherous the path he was preparing to walk on was but in a way, he never really understood it and I feel like Cas only ever learnt responsibilty after this disastrous attempt to do the right thing.

Those first weeks back in Heaven were surprisingly difficult. Explaining freedom to angels is a bit like teaching poetry to fish.

Of course, Cas with his talk of freedom comes in direct conflict with the new boss in town, Raphael who just wants the Apocalypse TFW averted back on the road. Cas tries to resist but it is made amply clear that Cas has nothing on Raphael.

So he turns to someone for help. Is it any surprise that he turns to Dean? I still regret that Dean actually doesn’t know this but the first time Cas was in trouble and he wanted help, he went to Dean but it was only his love for Dean that prevented him from breaching what he saw as Dean’s sanctuary.

And, that’s when Crowley saw his opportunity to strike. He convinces Cas that with the untapped potential of Purgatory on their side, he can defeat Raphael. Crowley of course already has a plan in place to figure out just where Purgatory is and Cas reluctantly agress. He starts a civil war in Heaven and teams up with Crowley to figure out where Purgatory is.

Presently, Crowley wants to get rid of the Winchesters but Cas won’t allow that no matter how good of an argument Crowley presents.

Cas: Don't worry about the Winchesters.

Crowley: Don't worry about... what, like Lucifer didn't worry? Or Michael, or Lilith, or Alistair, or Azazel didn't worry? Am I the only game piece on the board who doesn't underestimate those denim-wrapped nightmares?

Meanwhile, Sam, Dean and Bobby who, now that they know Crowley is alive, are looking for him behind Cas’ back. What they don’t know is that Cas is spying on them and he knows exactly what they are doing? Unfortuantely, Cas let’s slip something he couldn’t possibly have known and that’s when it shatters.

Dean’s trust in Cas. This entire episode is Dean defending Cas against Bobby and Sam but even more amazing is the fact that Dean doesn’t denounce Cas even when Cas admits to working with Crowley. Dean tells him that they can fix it and despite, everything Dean is ready to mend fences and move on and it isn’t till the very end when despite Dean begging Cas not to follow through on what he has set out to do, Cas refuses that these two truly break.

God, the dialogues in this episode are just so good but the ones between Dean and Cas... like, are so intense, like it’s unbelievable. We have Bobby, Sam and Dean confronting Cas and Bobby and Sam are just throwing accusations but you know what Dean’s says, Dean says this -

You got to look at me, man. You got to level with me and tell me what’s going on. Look me in the eye and tell me you’re not working with Crowley.

Like, I literally explode every time I hear this dialogue, like look me in the eye. All Dean wants is for Cas to meet his gaze and it literally doesn’t take him more than a few seconds to read Cas. Like the moment their eyes meet Dean can tell Cas is in fact working with Crowley. How has anyone not noticed just how blatant this moment is?

Cas: Raphael will kill us all. He'll turn the world into a graveyard. I had no choice.

Dean: No, you had a choice. You just made the wrong one.

Cas: You don’t understand. It’s complicated.

Dean: No, actually it’s not, and you know that. Why else would you keep this whole thing a secret, huh, unless you knew that it was wrong? When crap like this comes around we deal with it, like we always have. What we don’t do is we don’t go out and make another deal with the devil!

Cas: It sounds so simple when you say it like that. Where were you when I needed to hear it?

Dean: I was there. Where were you?

Like if this episode was trying to kill me it is doing an amazing job of it.

Dean: It's not too late. Dammit Cas we can fix this.

Cas: Dean, it's not broken.

The whole moment of hesitation that Dean has at the doorway... I don’t even have words for it.

And Cas wants to explain himself to Dean and specifically Dean because after the initial encounter goes to hell in a handbasket, Cas goes to explain himself to Dean, again.

The most important thing that Cas stresses on is that he is doing this for Dean, he doesn’t even try to bring up anyone else because after all Cas’ biggest motivation and truthfully his only motivation to avert the apocalypse and prevent it from ever going down is Dean.

The scene just before the last one in Bobby’s study/kitchen is oddly reminiscent of a similar scene from 4x02 - Are You There, God? It's Me, Dean Winchester. It’s like these two scenes are bookending their own little saga of Dean and Cas with that initial meeting and now with this breakup.

Before, I get into the meaning of it all, I would like to discuss another piece of dialogue. This one -

Sam: Look, Dean, he's our friend, too, okay? And I'd die for him, I would. But... I'm praying we're wrong here.

Bobby: But if we ain't, if there's a snowball of a snowball's chance here, that means we're dealing with a Superman who's gone dark side. Which means we gotta be cautious, we gotta be smart, and maybe stock up on some kryptonite.

Dean: [to Sam] This makes you Lois Lane.

This is a metaphor with Cas being Superman and no one needed to bring up Lois Lane but Dean does, which immediately puts a love interest into mind, specifically Cas’ love interest and the weird thing is Dean declares Sam as Cas’ Lois Lane when we all know that if anybody is Lois Lane in this metaphor it’s Dean. So, thank you, Dean for pointing that out.

Over time, I think I have often come back to this episode to point out that this was the episode that established that Cas loved Dean beyond any shadow of doubt what motivates Cas, what distresses him, the person he needs most on his side are all answers you can find in Dean Winchester. The person who teaches Cas free will and gives him his freedom, the person he turns to for help, the person he wants to protect at all costs and finally the person he desperately wants on his side. After all, he specifically goes to Dean to explain his reasons for doing what he’s doing. At this point, I don’t even think I need to point out that Dean and Cas are very, very different from Cas and Sam or Cas and Bobby. Though Cas betrayed all three of them, he only seems to really care about what Dean’s saying.

But, I think just because the narrative’s focus is on Cas, I forget how important this episode is for establishing Dean’s feelings for Cas. Like the whole “look me in the eye thing”, like that line spearates Dean and Cas and puts them in their own universe like Dean knows Cas can’t lie to him and Cas doesn’t even say a word but Dean knows. I mean for a relationship that consists of the most intense eye contacts in history, I seem to forget how much they seem to communicate with their eyes. And despite everything Cas does Dean wants to help him fix it, he doesn’t give up on Cas not even the second time Cas comes to talk to him, he wants to help, he wants Cas to abandon his plan of action and it’s only when Cas draws a line in the sand that Dean really consider a different course of actions.

It’s amazing how much drama Supernatural can generate simply by pitting Dean and Cas against each other, just a simple line of dialogue and the stakes sky rocket because we all know waht Dean and Cas mean to each other.