the-american-witch

[the-american-witch]

hi sorry for ghosting you im being tormented by psychic horrors beyond your wildest comprehensions

[the-american-witch]

[the-american-witch]

[the-american-witch]

i’m at a party right now and i heard someone on a walkie talkie and i turned around and it’s a mom who left her kids home on their own for the first time ever (they’re old enough) and they live a few houses down so she gave them a walkie talkie to call her if they get nervous. they just walkietalkied her for permission to eat ice cream

[the-american-witch]

[the-american-witch]

*doom music starts to play* I actually kindof like scheduling these kinds of appointments now...

but seriously Fellas, don't forget to schedule a pap smear every couple of years just in case. If you still have a cervix you can still get cervical cancer. ilu

this has been a psa

[the-american-witch]

"use chatgpt" that's the devil talking. buy four caffeinated drinks and pull an all nighter. this is the way.

[the-american-witch]

[the-american-witch]

Reading articles about MrBeast's dominance of YouTube is fucking bizarre because, from my perspective, the dude isn't even on YouTube. I've never watched one of his videos. YouTube has, to the best of my knowledge, never recommended one of his videos to me. Every thumbnail screenshot of his looks like something you could tell me was a photoshopped parody of YouTube culture, and I'd believe you. No one I follow on YouTube ever mentions him, even negatively or in passing. The first time I ever heard his name was in regards to the quality of his ghost kitchens. The only way I know he isn't a mass, shared hallucination is that I've witnessed the thoroughly mid-looking chocolate bars he sells at Walmart for some reason

[the-american-witch]

[the-american-witch]

actually the only times jared padalecki ever looked like he was in character was when he was third wheeling those gay bitches, because Jared Padalecki was genuinely pulling Jensen aside in between takes like "hey you and Misha are just friends right?" and Jensen would put a hand on his shoulder and say "oh, me and Cas? oh Sammy what do I tell ya buddy."

[the-american-witch]

[the-american-witch]

“if mushrooms are the superior lifeform that really calls the shots on this earth, why haven’t they destroyed us yet?” listen to yourself. have we as humans gotten rid of every mountain on the planet just because we are smarter than big rocks? no!! because they don’t pose a threat to us. sure some people die rock climbing or skiing and that’s tragic but mountains aren’t dangerous to us as a global society. do you see where i am going with this. it’s your misplaced hubris that makes you think that humankind is worth destroying to a mushroom. we are a part of the mundane landscape on the surface. we pose no threat to the mycelian era. humble yourself

[the-american-witch]

the Cain plot was actually crazy bc wdym the writers said yes here’s Cain but Abel’s not important. What IS important is Cain had a wife and she was the only person who could stop Cain from becoming a monster (flashbacks provided). Now here’s a parallel of Dean and his “best friend” Cas that follows the exact play by play of Cain and his wife. Oh but it’s strictly platonic we’d never make Destiel happen. HELLO??????

[the-american-witch]

I don’t think you’re ready to have an adult conversation about politics until you’re able to admit that there are things you love and enjoy that would not and should not exist in a just world. $8 billion dollar budget movies every other month don’t exist in a just world. New 900 GB AAA video games every year don’t exist in a just world. Next day delivery doesn’t exist in a just world. 80 different soda brands don’t exist in a just world. 

All of those things come from exploitation on some level, and if you wouldn’t trade those for a world where everyone can eat and have a home no matter who they are or what they do, I don’t know what to tell you. 

[the-american-witch]

“People are inherently terrible” no!!! Have you ever seen a child wait for their friend while they tie their shoelaces? Have you ever known someone who would bring hurt squirrels and rabbits and mice to the nearest vet just so it doesn’t suffer? Have you seen someone grieve? Have you ever read something that hit your heart like a freight train? Have you looked at the stars and felt an unexplainable joy? Have you ever baked bread? Have you shared a meal with a friend? Have you not seen it? All the love? All the good? I know it’s hard to see sometimes, I know there’s pain everywhere. But look, there’s a child helping another up after a hard fall. Look, there’s someone giving their umbrella to a stranger. Look, there’s someone admiring the spring flowers. Look, there’s good, there’s good, there’s good. Look!!!!

[the-american-witch]

no tumblr i can't unfollow that beloved mutual who hasn't posted in years, what if they suddenly decide to come back out of the blue