#and a lot of it is sensory shit
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Me: I'm not sure if my health can withstand a commute. Should I try to go in tomorrow?
Apollo: no
Me: should I plan to work from home?
Apollo: no
Me: ...
Apollo:
Me: migraine?
Apollo: migraine.
#(cue it starting immediately afterwards)#i managed to take some painkillers in time to stave the migraine off but i still felt like shit the next day#so i couldnt have worked regardless#this was monday night (and tbf sunday & monday were *extremely* tiring days. i was falling asleep while crocheting & playing ac#which is rare even considering my fatigue issues)#yes/no divination has been great as a way to consult apollo without pulling out the tarot deck (which is more time consuming and takes#a *lot* more spoons)#the only issue is that when i do the stones or tarot i tend to get on a Divination Kick tm which is. not helpful b/c what am i going to do??#i've already finished asking what i needed to ask???#i should probably funnel that burst of dopamine/hyperfixation into researching different methods actually#gonna add that to the routine#also! working out the kinks with the yes/no method. doing it on my floor? no good. inconsistent results. Feels Bad. Loud#doing it on my bed? wonderful 10/10. very consistent results. Feels Good. not loud#i still do tarot on the floor though b/c having a flat sturdy surface is nice#for reference: my commute is 2-2.5 hrs each way via public transit. the sensory experience drains me *very* fast if im not careful and#we're in Purgatory Weather season where it's *juuust* warm & humid enough to maybe be a problem but isnt one For Sure#*and* the state fair is on so the trains are gonna be packed when im trying to get home#coriander says#helpol#hellenic pagan#hellenic polytheism#apollo#theoi#pagans of tumblr#hellenic community#paganblr
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Y’all don’t even understand I love Neuvillette sooo so much
#genshin impact#neuvillette#single father. autistic swag. ocean imagery. looks mean but he’s actually a sweetie. the list goes on#CANE USER ALSO. room for me to hc him as disabled#canonical heat sensitivity and sensory issues with his hair and clothes?? drinks water for FUN???#I have got to give this guy a hug IMMEDIATELY#honestly in regards to shipping I see him as aromantic#and i think he sees furina in the light of like. he’s her mentor and feels protective and paternal over her#but i also know a lot of ppl shit neuvifuri and I’ve heard hoyo team is pushing it so no disrespect to that side either#this is just the vibe i pick up from them. seems like the proud father of a theater kid#he goes to pta meetings and watches her school plays#and i know ive reblogged some posts wriothesley and neuvillette together#and tbh i see why people like the pairing i think it’s alright#but it doesn’t Compel me yknow#i do think wrio likes him but i also think neuvillette is like. flattered but doesnt really reciprocate#doesnt feel on the same level as mortals type of shit mayhaps#which could contribute to his distaste toward archons who have relations with humans?#idk man I’m just talking#bottom line love this guy and don’t ship him with anyone but no hate to those who do y’all have fun out there#all love
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dear companies
please stop making your ads flashy and loud and jarring
thanks
#actually autistic#autism#sensory overload#also youtube needs to have an option like spotify to make everything the same volume so you don't go from calm chill video to BUY OUR SHIT#also a lot of people with autism have epilepsy too so uh yeah
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#manectric#i woke up at like noon today y'all i'm queuing this after work. i forgot about it all day and i was about to hop on totk#but i got the reminder to do it. so here i am. with manectric#el woowoo‚ if you will#a lot happened. yesterday. it was not a very good day. which is why i woke up so late. it was a little bit rough. but i guess it's a new day#so. it'll get better. planning on Not Doing Shit today or tomorrow to compensate for all the Bullshit that happened yesterday#hoping you all are doing well. one week from today (friday june sixteenth) i'll be hopping on a flight for the first time in 10 years#looks like according to the queue this will actually go up the day before we leave. so‚ to you guys‚ i'll be heading out tomorrow#which is scary a little bit. last time i flew i had no idea i was autistic‚ but now that i've come up with a lot of better accommodations#for myself and i understand myself a lot better and my needs‚ i'm realizing a lot of my accommodations just aren't gonna make it through TSA#plus it's a lot of unfamilarity with unfamiliar people and an unfamiliar environment which i feel like is gonna lend itself to sensory#overload like Immediately and i'm probably gonna get a headache bc that's how it manifests for me#so when we get there i'm probably gonna have to run to the nearest pharmacy. and grab some shit. which is annoying! so. i'm a little#worried. about the trip. NONE OF HTIS IS ABOUT MANECTRIC SORRY#this is a pokémon i have a hard time caring about outside of its involvement as the leader of the electrike in amp plains#that's about it#any tips from frequent flyers who are autistic would be greatly appreciated. not even just about flying but about like. going to unfamiliar#places on the other end of the country and stuff. i feel like that's what i'm most worried about even though i'm worried abt all of it#also hi i'm writing these tags from day-of. like the actual day this is going to post. me from a week ago sure did know what she was talking#about! anyway. i'm. gonna like. take my meds now goodBye see you all when this Posts in a few hours
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I see a lot of smack talk from the younglings about the "Sad Beige Millenial Aesthetic" - and while I agree that some Youtube Mums should get prison time for doing their kids' nurseries that way, I cannot stress enough the calming effect this aesthetic has on my "undiagnosed for 39yrs" ADHD brain.
Let me have my stark white Ikea furniture and my muddy coloured accessories, it helps me get the laundry folded before my kids outgrow it 🙈
#honestly#the amount of sensory overwhelmed I have thrown out when I went for Sad Millenial in the up stairs of our home#our downstairs - kitchen and living slash dining room are super colourful#with fun rugs and all that shizz#but those rooms are MASSIVE#they need the colour and the fun shit lest they look like a hospital waiting area#but the upstairs is three bedroom a walk in closer and the big bath#plus slanted walls#because the roof goes low#so all the rooms are a lot smaller with very little wall space to put furniture#they'd just look cluttered that way#which they did#I still have before and after pictures of when we did the kids' rooms#as I told my husband#since I do the Lion's share of ending this house I get to decide how it's made#I wouldn't get anything he hates#but eg when he said he doesn't need a bedside lamp I told him tough luck the big light is evil 🤷🏻♀️😅
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got lipgloss for the first time today :]
#i have weirdly specific feelings abt wearing makeup#i wear a bit of eyeliner and eyeshadow sometimes#but ive always had. really weird feelings abt stuff on my lips?#not just as a sensory thing but like. idk. it changes my face so much it lowkey freaks me out sometimes#i had a phase around 16-17 i did tons of weird creative makeup including clown looks but even then i only did it in a super specific way#and only ever black lipstick and ONLY on days i was doing weird shit with my eyes or cheeks#but since t and top surgery a lot of my body dysphoria is like. basically gone?#and i feel a lot more free to play with makeup and fashion and stuff#so im dipping my toes in#i dont think i'll ever become a Makeup Person#like. foundation makes my skin crawwwwl#but i can at least have fun making my lips look shiny
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im the first person to say you have to let ppl make the cosmetic choices they want especially in terms of surgery (hi! I'm trans and I have had and will have more elective surgery) but there is no reason for a person who prefers to shave their body hair to comment on a post about body hair. we literally don't care why you do it and we're rightfully making fun of you
#bc surgery is a thing that you're either putting a lot of thought into or doing for a trend (and trends have always and will always#be shit so that takes care of that). but shaving is almost always a body acceptance thing.#ppl that say it's for sensory reasons; I simply don't believe you. how does being covered in stubble feel better than a little fuzz.#and yeah you CAN do stuff for body acceptance/comfort just STOP fucking acting like it's a 'personal preference'#and shitting on ppl who are rejecting that by letting their body do what it's doing.#surgery is forever but you choose to shave your legs every day? that sounds like more commitment imo.
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me shoveling food into my mouth before the horrors start
#me irl#tw // ed#tw // mental health#i got issues sometimes#the horrors is nausea#my body can and will reject food#me literally every morning#i got lots of mental shit figured out#time to work on the physical problems#i like drawing funny faces#funny#food#mental health#mornings#sensory issues#the horrors
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i schwear to god ur not gonna find someone who enjoys working in the grocery store against their better judgement more than me, i am so fucking autistic about this job and everyone knows how good i am at it all, but nothing kills it like the dumb corporate overlord bs. the work can be grueling, the customers can be horrific, but i have got to serve- even the irritating mystery shopper score can be coped with- but when you start picking on me about the stupidest dress code shit that’s when you lose me. like now a new manager is saying they may force us all to wear those chunky nonslip shoes within the year. i have a pair but man they hurt my fucking feet. i cant do that shit every day thats why i wear converse. i said these are nonslip man they used to play basketball in these. he said “lets spill oil on the floor and see how you do” ok girl yes! try me!
#also every time i buy a new pair of pants LITERALLY TRYING TO BE IN DRESS CODE its some kinda problem like leave me alone!!!!!!#literally every problem i have with various dress code shit comes down to autistic sensory issues#OR my connective tissue problems causing pain#like please! i’m not just being difficult! god!#also like i hate this corporate bs when its like#omg yes be yourself!!!!! unless you want to express it in any way in which case shut up!!!#i will say they do still let me do a lot but i have got the distinct impression theyre inventing new dress code rules all the time just to#deal with me personally LMFAO#yall can take my makeup and my jewelry alongside my resignation letter if it comes to that#…..ok probably not bc im a coward and the job market is terrible rn#but! i’ll find new ways to torture u! mark my fucking words!
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ok so now that it has been brought to my attention that ganon in animal crossing likes to have the max amount of sugar in his coffee im having ganonbeck thoughts about it. he and linebeck get/make coffee or whatever and linebeck takes it black and forgets to drink any of it bc hes distracted by ganondorf damn near spooning an entire container of sugar into his coffee
#i think ive heard the animal crossing ganon coffee thing before but never like. processed it#salty talks#ganonbeck#ganondorf#linebeck#i think linebecks taste buds are fucked he def has sensory issues related to food but he can handle some of the spiciest or most bitter shi#he usually only eats when it starts to hurt and typically puts like. making sure he doesnt starve above actually enjoying it#anyways black coffee actively looks for the darkest roast he wants that shit to snap him awake via taste#cuz caffeine probably doesnt work well on him. i dont imagine caffeine does much for ganondorf either he just adds sugar for a nice time#i enjoy linebeck being kinda weird n off-putting but he cant achieve the tonal dissonance of ganondorf liking lots of sugar in coffee
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The sheer amount of "it's almost like they can {exactly what they can do}..." "jokes" I want to have the characters unknowingly make is ridiculous. Like, they're so close to figuring it out! But they're like "nah, I've never heard of magic like that, that's ridiculous!"
And little do they know.
Seriously, though, how much is too much? Can I please sneak it in, like, a hundred times without people getting suspicious? Please?
I think I'm soooooo funny with it, obviously.
PS... read the tags.
@darkandstormydolls @illarian-rambling
#this definitely isn't about Gene btw#Gene himself doesn't even know he has magic; but when he meets Tazin (comma) Tazin is almost immediately like “kid wtf kinda magic is that?#They (aka just Tazin because Gene's just like “wdym it's not normal?”) conclude that he has “sensory magic” and move on lmao.#I mean it's better than earlier drafts of the story where Gene OBVIOUSLY had other stuff going on and they're just all “nah; no magic here!#Btw all this stuff with Gene is 100% supposed to reflect / be reminiscent of those times where neurodiverse people are like#“I've lived with this my whole life thinking everyone else had this exact experience and you're telling me that's NOT NORMAL????”#Which btw is an experience I've had a lot myself; I was only diagnosed with autism as an adult and there's a lot of fun things about that.#So anyway Gene's neurodiverse coded in basically every single way LMAO! (Because y'know he's also autistic.)#I mean he's not the only one where his magic has hints littered all over the place to the point where other characters suspect it but like#yeah he's definitely the biggest perpetrator haha.#Kid thinks his only magic is “sensory magic” (which uh... I mean I GUESS you're technically using magic for that shit???#But it's a mix of that and HELLO AUTISM SENSITIVITY TO SOUND!!!) and yeah it's nowhere even close to that haha.#the feychild speaks#the feychild speaks in tags!#the arcane rifts#sun and shadow#gene the amnesiac#tazin the theater kid#foreshadowing#dramatic irony#original works#plot twist#plot twists#fantasy#fantasy world#fantasy worldbuilding#magic#my writing#writing comedy#writing struggles
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i'm gonna eventually make a tag and link it but
the way i'm interpreting helaena's "dreams" is a very intense sensory experience for her. sometimes she can visualize the scenarios, sometimes she can hear what's going to happen, sometimes she can smell the location, sometimes it's a full body experience, etc. she doesn't always have the ability to verbalize exactly what she's "receiving" especially if it's not a clear visual dream. it's very overwhelming for her and she fears having them in public because she can't control how it will affect her, or for how long, or if she'll even be able to decipher it then and there. what some people consider a super future seeing power, helaena experiences as big sensory overload, sensory trauma even, since sometimes what she sees are tragedies she believes she could have prevented had she known how to decipher it all.
i hope this makes sense? i'll keep elaborating on it and really wanna explore it a lot.
#this is MY interpretation of her ok#i'm v passionate about sensory integration as i go through a lot of sensory overload myself as well as my patients#so i've not only been going through it i also studied it and currently work with children with asd/spd/adhd/etc.#in understanding themselves and their sensory input as well as managing it when it becomes too much#basically i'm not pulling it all outta my ass lmfao although ofc fantasy shit will be included cause this is got babyyyyy#dreamer tag.#˚✧ . out of crickets ! // ooc.
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I'm such a bitch today. I cant with this chick at work anymore man. Then on my way out the door my aunt calls to bitch about my brother. Like can everyone shut the fuck up? Thanks.
#then this fucking car that just passed me had the most obvious sub woofer ive ever heard#obnoxious** fucking mobile#that triggered the fuck out of my audio sensory shit#im pulled off in a parking lot right now trying to fucking process normal sound for five seconds
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I don't want to get off my phone I don't want to stay on my phone I don't want to pump gas I don't want to do deliveries I don't want to get ready for bed I don't want to write anything of substance I don't want to create I don't want to not create I don't want to be here I don't want to go anywhere I don't want to move I don't want to stay still my brain and body seem to simply want to sit here and Yearn
#is this like a shutdown i think we're having a shutdown#cuz like#we're not experiencing the pain of the overwhelm#but that's because we're dissociating really bad#like am i blitz are we blurry have we been in this parking lot for hours#why can't i just do anything but type#we're just sitting here numb and unmotivated#vent#i guess#tagging in case as always#idk man#“get a hobby” we have several#“get a life” we have. one but we have to share#“get a job” 2 jobs going on possibly 3 next month ok im starting to understand#we are indeed having to face a future and have no solid Plans yet#i thought getting our biggest worry out of the way now that my cat is w a trusted friend would help#but everything else is at the Forefront of our mind now whoops!!#ironically it would be better if we just. cane up w a plan#but noooo sensory overload from our own fucking chatter#allllll dayyyyyy#fuckkkkk#we're probably gonna go to bed lol i can try again tomorrow#we're ok just. we “shouldn't be” if that makes sense lol#if we're going to be a wreck i wish i could at least provess it#like it's worse than emotional denial i straight-up don't have access to said emotions rn#“don't underestimate my capacity to not wanna” type shit sjfhhshsh#oh also we need to eat dude come on#dont want to do that either but alas we need nutrients to live#at least we like living!#usually lmao also i did it (apparently) i reached 30 tags. thank u tumblr i love yapping
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the good ol "i dont see my child as an individual with their own mind, thoughts, opinions, and unique needs, and instead i see them as an object that i can control and make plans and set up expectations for for without problem or consideration, and if they aren't in the narrow boundaries of what i want them to be, i will act like they have died and talk about how hard this is for ME" special
#child abuse //#transphobia //#ableism //#sorry for how long these tags are i have too many thoughts in my brain. sorry#transphobic parents: im losing my daughter/son :(( its so hard :(( this is literally the same as my child being dead :((#im watching them destroy themselves :((((#trans kid: *literally just asked to be called different pronouns or cut their hair or something*#vs#ableist parents: my child doesnt even let me hug them :(( sure its a really unpleasant feeling for them that is very distressing but#what about ME?? :(( my child not liking physical affection is the HARDEST THING EVER im such a brave parent#autistic kid: *just doesnt like being touched because it feels bad and needs other sensory accommodations*#like legit transphobic parents and ableist parents use really similar language to talk about their kids#a lot of implications or outright statements that their children are 'gone' and that their current child is some kind of impostor#do these people think changelings are real?? did they miss the boat on that???#and the 'im grieving my child' thing is so fucking dumb im sorry#your child isnt dead! theyre the same fucking person dumbass#your child didnt disappear when they realized they were trans or got diagnosed with autism. like. theyre still your fucking kid#these kinds of thoughts lead into shit like this story i heard about online about a father who became an alcoholic#because his son is trans and starting HRT. like this dad completely blames his addiction on his son being trans#because 'his daughter is destroying herself' and 'this stuff tears families apart'#newsflash you dumbfuck your son isnt at fault for you becoming an alcoholic instead of going to therapy to deal with any#complicated feelings or stress due to your son coming out#he did not hold you down and force alcohol down your throat you made the conscious goddamn choice to do that#because youre soooooo distraught that your beautiful daughter is gone :((#fucking cry about it maybe?#and with ableist parents theres a lot of talk about how they dont feel like their child loves them or how THEY find it hard to love them#which. again. its not their fucking fault its yours for not getting help to fix your shit#just because your child doesnt show affection in the way you do doesnt mean they dont love you or that you shouldnt love them#if you cant love your kid because of them being autistic thats a problem that you need to see a therapist about it. jackass#do not blame your kids!! for your issues!! they can tell!!! and it fucking hurts!!!!!!
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trying to befriend a dude with literally 0 sense of socialization or even society and spends like 99% of his time in deep space with some serious sensory issues that gets responded with anger is a very taunting task
also the fact that side a needs so many 'accommodations' is the reason he doesn't even bother trying to make friends (we ignore the fact that there's probably plenty of literally just chill non talkative people he can hang with)
#ukureticence#ichor's blessing#archangel dyrkethiel#dyrkethiel side a#dyrkethiel side b#three#archangel amphael#exorcist thel#archangel estoriciel#the prince of ichor#sebastian the imp#they legit have to take like weeks to get accustomed to sensory shit like noise after leaving space#them visiting heaven for any reason is like a once in a lifetime experience (or more so witness since they try to leave asap after)#side a is a very lonely person and they are VERY content with it#they actually are very social if not for the overwhelming sensory issues and socialization issues#they threaten and get aggressive a lot without actually being able to go through with any of it cuz#yknow murder isnt very righteous or legal in general and all#not a sadist they just dont know how to get people to leave them alone and doesnt like being judged for being themselves#er#kinda themselves
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