#and a few med students
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#evertime i hear Tank! by SEATBELTS my brain chemistry alters#suddenly i want to dance and fucking jam out like its no ones business#no matter where i am#i say this because i may or may not have been spotted dancing in the lobby of my building at work tonight by both manager#and a few med students#and felt zero shame
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A spy... An assassin... this is so exciting!!
#tangled#spy x family#rapunzel#eugene fitzherbert#loid forger#yor forger#crossover fanart#I finally remembered my tumblr password lol#I think it's been literally years since I posted on here wow#Last time I was here I was a mere med student#and now I am a full fledged doctor#It's crazyyyy#dont have time to draw anymore#:(#I did this months ago before I even started working#forgot about it#found it again#so voila#I've been mad busy tho so will probs disappear for another few years#But i might get back into doing fanart again cuz tidying this one up to post was therapeutic af#I need that kinda relaxation ya know#anyway#anyone still a Tangled fan anymore#Or have we all moved on now#if anyone is out there please send me a signal!#Also when is Spy x family coming back someone tell me#I want more of itttt#I miss my weekly dose of loid forger#I drew Pascal as Anya but he just felt out of place so I took him out I'm sorryyy#Maybe I'll post him separately
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26/08/23
The cutest book store <3 I just wanna live here
#Been an unproductive few days#But I'm slowly getting back into the grind#This bookstore was so pretty!!#<3#Studyblr#Medblr#Student#Uni#College#Med#Med student#Books#Bookstore#Bookshop#Booklr
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Hey babes, sorry I've been dead, but I coulda been literally dead if I had not gone.
I didn't hurt myself and we're still figuring things out. I would love to share but I've already forgotten what I've learned. I hope I get more guidance and time for healing and learning on how to lead my life in a better direction than where I was. But that takes time and effort.
I hope to get some rest, get some support, and get it together. But right now, I don't think it's healthy for me to worry about art in the way I do now. I may not express it here, but trying to maintain my art endeavors/projects while there's so much bullshit going on backstage is not helping me. Especially since I'm not even obligated to do so. But trying to force myself to do something I am currently unable to do will just make me feel worse. I'll follow my dreams and passions one day, but I've been putting off the healing process for years.
So I guess it's better to get better now so I can get the ball rolling again. Why drive on a flat tire?
#i was in there for a week and ill continue partial hospitalization for a few weeks#i hope i learn more and i hope i get specific help to my issues. because whay i learned there didnt directly pertain to me#but having structured daily life felt nice. but it wasnt all relaxing because there were still responisibilites on the outside world#tapping on the window or calling me on the phone. chose the best time for a meltdown. i have taxes and credit card bills to take care of#but if i stress about it now ill jsut be going back to the ER and thats no good. the hospital was so cold dude im glad im home with blankets#this is mr octopus again. im glad i broguh hom to work. i went straight to er from work and if i had no plushie with me#i probably would have stayed longer or be even more mentally unstable and distressed. its good to have comfort items#i dont think i want to know ehat if be like without some kind of companion or grounding item with me. i dont want to imagine me without em#its okay to have a little friend with you. i would be so distraught. everyone loved me there#the nurses the patients the residents yhe social workers the students#mr. octopus made them happy because of his big smile and mine too. the people there did not expect the mass amoutns of stress and depression#in this bubbly happy baby witb a happy pink octopus. one of the patients thought it was the meds the happy pills they gave me#no im jsut naturally like this. or artificially like this. i still dont know how to express or understand my feelings#if what im showing is real or not because i know ill be the happiest in the room wherever i go. maybe its a front or a mask#but when im like that kinda hard to know whats really underneath. they always ask me if im okay but i turn to myself#and its nondescript like ive put a blanket over how i really feel. its weird. the bubbly energy is blinding.#words#mr octopus#mental health#doodles
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Reunion
|next|
I have more post manga med student Kei, hehe! >:D It’s happening around one year after the story ended.
#ajin#ajin demi human#kei nagai#kaito ajin#ajin comic#my stuff#med student kei#hopefully ill update it in a next few days
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saw a post about projecting your ethnicity onto a character and started missing vespa ilkay. so so bad
#pov u grow up in a 3rd world country(/planet) where healthcare workers are exported by the thousands like cheap produce to richer countries#it's your ticket out of poverty as long as you can deal with the loneliness the separation from everyone you know the discrimination etc#ive never talked about my hc that vespas mother was one of them sending money every month visiting every couple of years until it just stop#like why return to the swamps when youre doing fine working on a richer planet w much better living conditions#cost of living rises every year. sending home a % of your salary used to be enough to support your husband and daughter and then it isnt#you know how it goes#vespa is also dead set on this path until ranga realizes that hemorrhaging healthcare workers leaves them with little to none of their own#students on scholarships or in community/state universities are bound by return service agreements and are forbidden to leave the country#until theyve rendered a few years of work on ranga to pay back their tuition + as a really shitty solution to the brain drain problem#this is real in my country btw but my professors say a lot of ppl do break their rsa's and fucked off to work in other countries LOL#our state unis can barely afford decent facilities they do nottt have the budget to chase down their own alumni in other countries!#but the mental image is a bit funny#vespa ilkays first crime: tinakasan ang rsa#i do also think it lines up with her having a network of med friends everywhere in the galaxy (heart of it all) you kind of go into pre/med#expecting most of your classmates to leave to work in other countries eventually. mine are aiming for the usa / uae / europe / japan etc#anyway whether vespa breaks her rsa or not she leaves ranga asap decides to switch careers and the rest is history#i also deeply love the fact that she's superstitious i'm very sad it wasn't highlighted more (i've only heard s1-3)#as someone who did grow up in a rural area and went to more albularyos/folk healers than doctors in my childhood. (they never failed me)#lots of folk illnesses (ex. balis; pasma) local medical superstitions (dont eat noodles in hospital; youll have a really toxic shift) etcc#theres also a lot of potential in tying her past as a rangian + med student + assassin to me idk how to word this properly#being raised on cautionary tales of not to touch/disturb anything in the swamps then being given free reign to poke & prod at things in her#lab classes (now with the proper ppe)....she was having so much fun with the curemother prime too lmao#years of walking hanging bridges docks boathouses in ranga etc gave her great balance & stealth#cracking open alien shellfish in the swamps to cutting open bodies for studying then for assassination....#I MISS HER SO MUCH BALIK KN SAKEN 😭😭😭😭😭😭#i get why most people + the canon focuses on her being an assassin bc people find that cooler i guess#but vespa being a swamp girl > 3rd world med student > assassin is so personal To Me. the whole pipeline. eugh.#skl.txt
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the forest looks like heaven today i woke up feeling the heaviest weight at the top of my heart
#yesterday on the study they said they were dating two others and it was going well and i cant imagine fucking you but#you have great tits. they got upset at me not inviting them to a party. my research partner told me to write a 1000 word essay on why they#should come. they spoke about how much they wanted theiir ex and they wouldnt tell me much about who theyre dating bc#they thought i still had feelings for them which. god. theyre right but the assumption is so arrogant#the streams r rly beautiful im walking to a date and shes gorgeous and some of my friends know her but i look#exactly like ive slept on my friends floor for the past few days so . aaa anyway#god after that whole call i just felt so deflated like i felt over it but now its all . back. like seeing them being happy w smn else#inflicts active misery upon me which means ii think im becoming a worse person bc of them. i called my friend and i just . idk i walked home#i kept wanting to weep but . woah the sun is so pretty#there are petals and dandelion seeds floating in the air#med school students walking to their lectures#she does biochem btw. the person im meeting now#there are two butterflies dancing together. i cant make this shit up the past few days have looked like actual heaven#ive spent them being on survival mode and not even bc of my studies like ok focus on log functions while the person kn the screen#tells u abt how if her ex were to call shed fold immediately and the new girl is a singer and its going well and maybe ill tell you#more abt it in a few months. SO YOU KNOW IT HURTS ! SO WHY WOULD YOU TELL ME YOUD MAKE OUT W ME AT THE CLUB WHY WOULD U FALL ASLEEP NEXT TO#ME WITHOUT CLOTHES ON ! WHY WOULD YOU CARESS YOUR OWN SKIN LOOKING AT ME IN THE MIRROR !!!!#anyway im like . sane.#i just . felt like it was over#i realised i kept seeing ppl who i thought were more attractive etc etc than her bc i needed to prove to myself#that im attractive enough to be liked or that i can be liked at all and a part of me wanted to prove it to them too#its just a horrible mindset to have and yh not only do they not care but they also bring out the worst in me actively like . I DONT KNOW#BUT THEN WHO ELSE KNOWS THAT THE GOLDEN HOURS IN TEHRAN ARE PINK AND LILAC WHO GOES TO TECHNO RAVES AT THE BASE OF DAMAVAND#WHO CAN PIN YOU AGAINST A WALL LIKE THEM !!!#anyway#standing up it just feels so#exhausting#like this the most exhausted ive felt from all this ever
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Oh yeah, I'm going to get into crochet. I'd been thinking knitting originally, but in looking it up, I realized crochet would be more in line with what I want to try to make. I want to learn how to make cute little yarn animals. & I need to learn a hands-on hobby besides Legos, bc as fun as Lego model building is, it's not exactly sustainable as a main hobby 😂 too expensive. Fun treats when I get a new model! But I'd like smth to just Do with my hands while I'm watching things or w/e. It's calming. I think it'd help me a lot.
#speculation nation#if it helps me enough with focusing maybe i could do that during classes or smth instead of just zoning out#im gonna be trying to be a good student these last few semesters. gotta get the focus time#what i Really need is adhd meds tho. hmrhmng. i need to set up that appointment already.#.... next week. i'll set up an appointment next week for Sure.
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Glad I’m starting therapy so soon after moving out ☝️ I am already feeling the helplessness and loneliness
#vent#<- slightly? not that strongly? this is a pretty chill post like. I feel pretty chill#but also :( sad#I miss my family and friends at home#I haven’t really talked to my roommates#including the one who’s been my friend since high school bc she’s been sick (?) for the past few days#and this semester is definitely going to be A Lot#I got accepted into another choir but I’m most likely not joining bc my schedule is so packed#but the main thing is#I FEEL LIKE A BABY#my parents never really made me cook or clean and I just feel kinda useless#I’m just gonna have to force myself to learn which is fine#and my parents have offered to walk me through stuff over the phone when they can#but idk I just feel really immature bc like. damn I am 20 and don’t know how to cook Anything#I’m gonna go grocery shopping either tonight or tomorrow and get some sandwich supplies and other non-cooking stuff#so we are not completely doomed lol#also I need to do laundry tomorrow.. which. I can do and have done before. but I’m still gonna call my mom for guidance 😅#idk I think the main thing that’s stressing me out is spending money on food vs. groceries#and trying to eat at least some protein and fruits/vegetables etc. while also not spending exorbitantly#bc I am SOOOO irrationally anxious about money. I hate hate hate spending money#so the whole idea of grocery shopping is just kind of filling me with dread 🥲#but I will do it bc I need to Adult at some point#I just. idk I guess most students do this and I’m being whiny about it bc I’m not used to it??#but it just feels like So Much to be taking five classes and doing a bunch of extracurriculars and living on my own for the first time!#like! ahhh! too much at once!#😰😰😰#and I need to get an internship soon 😀 and if I don’t get one this semester I need to at least get a job so I can stress less about money 😀#but I always stress about money regardless 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀 even though I have scholarships savings etc 😀😀 ocd things! 😁 (🥲)#thank god for my meds and the thought that I’ll be starting therapy in the next week or two#and also my mom for being like the sweetest wver
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when i joked to an aquaintance that id probably get back and neck pain by third year IT WASNT A FUCKING INVITATION
#thank you for coming to my ted talk#meant to post this a few days ago#but i forgor#i specifically said at this rate were going to get slipped discs from hunching over our books by third year tops#i was mostly joking#back pain#neck pain#medical student#med student#posture#my spine:#im just a girl#🎀#lmao
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I'm already feeling torn about where to go for residency. On the one hand, my home program is objectively the best program I've interviewed at, it fits my goals perfectly, and I know I like the culture. On the other hand, med school was largely a very bad time for me, and part of me just wants to get away and completely start over.
#I do have lots of time to think about this#but I'm really thinking about foregoing a few bits of training I really wanted just so I can move across the country#the break up is definitely influencing this#but so is just a general desire to forget that most of med school ever happened#med school#med student#medicine#medblr#my content#my text posts
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omg yena it absolutely slipped my mind with the craziness of the past few days but you're starting uni soon right? Or already started it? anyway I'm sending you all the positive vibes bc I know it's super stressful 🫠 also what are you studying if you don't mind me asking? I already finished my degree a while ago, I did English Literature and Translation (my job now is at an office as an interpreter and translator lmao I don't think I ever told you sorry I have a hard time talking about myself hehdhde) I may have hinted that with my love for books 😔💖
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aaaa cherry anon beloved!!!!! yes i amm hehe i start uni next week actually :3 thank you for the good vibes pls my nervousness and stress really is starting to rise now that my first day is drawing closer <///3
im studying a joint degree in law and business actually! also stop thats so cool youre a translator!! english lit was one of my backup-backup course choices if i didn't get the one i was going to hehe bc i too have a huuge huge love of books :>
#and omg i have a few lit student friends and their degree sounds SO much fun but also so tiring pls 😔#fun fact i think only like 10 people in my school are going on to do humanities-based subjects?? everyone i know is doing med/science lmao#fairyhaos.answers#🍒.anon <3
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oh yeagh I am totally a fully capable adult
#(/affirmation)#went down to the college to pick up my student ID + bus pass + textbooks and then#went and got a bunch of school supplies and things I can keep in my locker to eat lunch + take meds with#so aside from a few things that will be picked up at the end of the week... I'm about as ready as I ever will be#at least all my classes are on the same floor??? just hoping my locker will be close-ish by
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Classes started today. When we had to introduce ourselves, the kid next to me said age-wise he was a sophomore, but credit-wise he was a senior. So I had to say that credit-wise I am also a senior, but age-wise I am wayyyy beyond senior lol.
#insert twilight quote#how long have you been a senior?#i have changed my major 4 times I think over the 12 years I've been going back and forth to this degree#I really do feel good about things this time though it's different#my school does a lot of programs with high schools where you can get credits which is cool#but also it's not crazy rare to be a mature student#so neither of our situations are that uncommon#although I will say it seems like I run into very few mature students in my major classes because they're usually a bunch of pre-meds
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I got a packet from the social security people I have to fill out and have sent back in--by mail--by the 26th. I got it on Friday. And I haven't looked at it til now, bc I was so stressed out about my dog being sick and i feel so overwhelmed. They want all my medical records from the last year, which I don't have, because I've only started keeping that stuff since I had my complete mental breakdown and she took me out of work. And there's so many pages and so much information they want. They have to nitpick my whole fucking life, before they can decide I deserve health. Being disabled in this country is a fucking nightmare. Instead of trying to hep, the just look for reasons to disqualify you. Because they don't want to help us; they just want us to go away
#america is a trashfire#i can't even leave my house alone#i literally have been in tears every time they call me#bc taking on the phone to strangers gives me that much anxiety#i can't function#i can't remember anything longer than a few seconds#i can't focus or concentrate on anything#i have to set alarms just to remind me to do things like eat or take meds#i forget to shower sometimes. others i'm too tired to bother#i literally went an entire week without showering recently. bc i didn't remember to do it#i am not well#and i just need help long enough to get well#but how am i supposed to get it? if they make you wait 200+ days just to hear if your claim is accepted#how am i supposed to survive until then?#I can't work bc i can't leave home with having panic attacks#i can't file for unemployment bc to do so you have to be actively looking for a job#and to get disability i have to prove that i can't work#i could probably work if i found a job i could do from home that payed enough to live off of#not to mention they want me to list any income from may-july#which i didn't make any working. but my brother lives me and gives me money to deposit for the bills#that are all in my name bc he hadn't established credit when we moved in. and my credit was better back then#bc i couldn't afford to leave home until i was 28. so my credit was literally based off my student loan payments#and they were pretty low bc i did the income based thing#i'm getting my parents to come help me with the paperwork#not bc i can't understand it. but bc i literally cannot remember something i read 30 seconds ago
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Oh my gosh, I... am sooooo sick of studying!! Ever since those cute little kids graduated, I decided I wanted to do something more with my life than just adventuring! Really make a difference!
So I signed up for a field medicine course in a nearby settlement! Now, I know what you're thinking. "Oh my gosh, Sunflora, why'd you sign up for field medicine when you can literally use your badge to bring Pokémon to safety? Oh my gosh, Sunflora, can't you just use a Reviver Seed?"
But, but! Some Pokémon get some pretty gnarly injuries traveling and need emergency support! So I thought it sounded like a good idea... but oh my gosh!!! How am I supposed to understand how to treat the ailments of 1000 species when I can barely treat myself! Eek! I don't even know where to start with this diagram of a Haunter!!!
#pkmn irl#pokeblogging#sunflora posting#Today's “Oh My Gauze”#//thinking of doing a few silly little through-lines with this blog.#//sunflora being an overworked med student is one of them.
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