#and a bunch of responsibilities to people who aren't me and I don't Regret it but every once in a while I stare

[foliejpg]

sage @puppyboymikeyway submitted a bunch of fob asks from this post so here ya go <3 putting it under a read more bc its a novel 😭

tttyg

dead on arrival: which of andy's haircuts is your favorite?

honestly i liked when he had the short bob and it was straight. he looked more like a lesbian then than usual

grand theft autumn: which was the first fall out boy song you heard and liked?

actually its this song 😭 i remember hearing it in a hot topic when i was around 15-16 and going home to look up the lyrics on my computer, then listening to every album straight through from tttyg to srar straight through in order lol srar had just come out

saturday: best concert you've attended?

my first fob show is special to me bc i got m&g tickets, so is the albany show this past march bc i got to meet them again with my boyfriend and a bunch of friends<333 but the best concert that the artist has put on i mean. i have to come clean i am a bit of a swiftie and the eras tour was crazy 😭 and fenway last year during tourdust because patrick did wams during the medley just for me<333 that's My Song

the pros and cons of breathing: do you own any fall out boy albums on cd or vinyl?

yes! here's a picture because there's a lot 💀 not pictured is the we didn't start the fire 7" because its so tiny i didn't see it until after i took the picture lmao

grenade jumper: trohmania or bass spin?

i gotta go with the bass spin sorry joe<3

the patron saints of liars and fakes: last big regret?

i wish i went to the madison square garden show in march but i couldn't afford the tickets</3

cork tree

our lawyer: worst fob rumor you've heard?

i can't really think of one? all i can think of is that one interview where patrick says the worst one he heard was that he was actually 31 and not 21

nobody puts baby in the corner: favorite 80's film?

who framed roger rabbit, clue, and that's all i can think of 😭 i'm not a big movie person

sixteen candles: favorite fob mv?

young and menace, america's suitehearts, hmlag, dance dance

the music or the misery: favorite bonus track?

from now on we are enemies and my heart is the worst kind of weapon, but i like the acoustic version of the latter way more<3

my heart is the worst kind of weapon: last time you said something you regretted?

bro i can't think of anything i don't listen to myself talk 💀

ioh

this ain't a scene, its an arms race: patrick in cardigans or patrick in sweaters?

SWEATERS lemme see that fabric stretch

thnks fr th mmrs: best memory?

i have no idea lmao when i met fob idk i have a really bad memory

don't you know who i think i am?: which high school stereotype would you describe yourself with?

is "snot nosed know it all who thinks she's better than everyone else but is just sheltered and bratty" a stereotype

fame < infamy: do you like black cards?

i'm a fake fan i've never listened 💀 bebe is a queen though

folie

lullabye: opinion on 'elisa stans?'

i don't know what that means these asks are from 2018 but everyone should leave fob's family alone <3

27: favorite instrument

BASS. i love bass guitar i need to feel it in my chest

w.a.m.s. which job would you prefer, waiter/actress/model/singer?

singer bc i enjoy singing and used to be good at it lol i can't act and food service freaks me out i don't want to be responsible for other people's food and also modeling just seems awful 💀

west coast smoker: favorite 80's band?

i love the smiths and joy division bc i'm a basic emo<3

srar

where did the party go: bass lines or guitar solos?

bass lines a million times over!!!! plus sometimes guitar solos make my ears ring 😅

death valley: who would you most like to be greeted by in the afterlife?

idk my cat kayla she passed when i was like 6 she was a good girl or my cat china (my mom named her 💀) she was a good girl too. lots of good girls here

abap

irresistible: which mv was your favorite?

the original one with the basketball game they're so goofy lmao

the kids aren't alright: if you could send a message to yourself five years ago, what would it say?

run for the fucking hills girl!!!!!!!

jet pack blues: which was your favorite fall out boy era?

this one because they're all happy and healthy and living their best lives, having lots of fun on stage and being weird and interacting with fans again<333

novocaine: cause of your last time in the hospital?

uhhhhh i can't remember the last time i was in the hospital lmao

favorite record: do you collect cds or vinyls?

both! i have a lot of both lol

mania

young and menace: are you excited for the future of fall out boy?

of course<3 i hope whatever they do next is satisfying creatively for them because i would rather wait a few years for new music than have them go back to working themselves to the bone and exhausting themselves so i'm sure whatever comes next will be worth the wait, stardust certainly was<3

champion: what's your proudest moment as a fan of them?

i don't knowwww i really like the little corner of the internet i'm in with some friends and mutuals and i get a lot of asks/msgs from ppl so i like that i've made a comfy little space for ppl to talk about fob<3 does that count lol idk i'm also proud of them for like. still doing what they're doing at their age those crusty old men

wilson: if you could purchase one thing being advertised in the wilson video, what would it be?

WORKING MALE MOUTH

sunshine riptide: if you could say one thing to the band, what would it be?

i would say thank you for making art and i would also corner pete and maKe him tell me about the pool ball strike at the beginning of disloyal order he can't get away with this anymore

WHOOOO BOY okay thanks for sending all those i hope you enjoy this essay<3

[jokertrap-ran]

[スタオケ] La Corda d'Oro Starlight Orchestra Osakabe Seiji Cast Story Chapter 5 Translation

*Starlight Orchestra Masterlist | Osakabe Seiji’s Personal Masterlist *Spoiler free: Translations will remain under cut *Osakabe’s Route Tag will be #Seiji’s Star

Underling 1: Welcome back, Young Master!

Seiji: What a grand welcome, as always. How many times do I have to tell you that you don't have to do this?

Underling 1: No, no. We're just doing as we should.

Underling 1: We've been eagerly awaiting your return.

Underling 2: There's always someone stationed at the gate since the break of dawn, ready to greet you if you deign to return earlier than expected. 

Underling 3: We tried to follow the Boss, but we ended up getting kicked out because he was unable to sleep from all the noise.

Underling 3: But I'm glad that he has recovered enough to yell at us at least!

Seiji: …Nevermind. I'm not here alone today, so do give her a proper welcome.

Seiji: What say you, Concertmistress?

☆ ━━━━━━━ ∘◦♬◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ☆

Seiji: …Will that be all? If so, then I shall take my leave here for today.

Seiji: Yeah, I'm planning on going back to Mito for a bit tomorrow, so I'm going to have an early start in the morning.

Seiji: It's about time for me to pay my grandfather a visit before some people kick up a fuss.

His grandfather? That means…

Seiji: …Why, curious?

▷Choice: I am

Seiji: That was a quick reply, and an openly honest one to boot. Seiji: People would normally hesitate at the question, but I suppose it was a mistake on my end to expect you to conform to the norms.

▷Choice: Well, not really…

Seiji: Perhaps you should ensure that your expression matches your statement if you're going to be making a claim like that. Seiji: You fail to paint a convincing picture when your curiosity is written all over your face, plain as day. 

Seiji: Well, I won't stop you from tagging along on account of your curiosity, but I'm not taking any responsibility if you come to regret your decision.

Seiji: If you're okay with that, then come by the gates at 8 AM. Although, I'll leave you behind if you fail to wake up early and turn up on time.

Seiji: What's wrong, Concertmistress? Want to go home?

▷Choice: Bring it on…!

Seiji: *Chuckles* You're a surprisingly brave one, aren't you? It's no wonder, considering how you suddenly came all the way to Joyo with the intention of recruiting us into your little party.

▷Choice: Stick close to Osakabe

Seiji: … Seiji: You don't have to be that afraid. We're not savages who'd harm ordinary civilians for no good reason.

Underling 1: You're our Young Master's guest! Of course, we'll treat you well!

Underling 2: Here, may I have your bags? The Japanese-style room is open for your use.

Seiji: Right, could you leave us once you've served the tea?

Underling 2: Gotcha!

☆ ━━━━━━━ ∘◦♬◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ☆

People seemed to look up to Osakabe a lot, for he was greeted by many people before we finally reached the Japanese-style room.

Seiji: Good grief, I swear they seem to be kicking up a bigger fuss than ever whenever I do return here.

Seiji: Well, what are your thoughts on this place now that you've seen it for yourself?

▷Choice: They're an interesting bunch

Seiji: …Huh? Did you even get a good look at their faces? Seiji: Those are real scars, not special effects makeup. Seiji: They're not people that someone like you should ever cross paths with.

▷Choice: You look like you enjoy being here

Seiji: Enjoy? Me? Seiji: Well, I suppose it's because I've known them for a while. I've come here often ever since I was little.

Seiji: …But you, you're a normal girl by all accounts. Are you not even the slightest bit afraid after seeing this place?

Seiji: …You're an odd one, truly.

Seiji: This is a place where the outcasts gather, for those who have been ostracised by society, with nowhere to go.

Seiji: But, you're no different, come to think of it now. You gather the outcasts of the music world.

Seiji: And you were the one who managed to recruit even people like me and Kirigaya, so I suppose “normal” wouldn't be the word to describe you.

☆ ━━━━━━━ ∘◦♬◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ☆

Seiji: …Now then.

☆ ━━━━━━━ ∘◦♬◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ☆

Underling 1: Ah…

Seiji: …And may I ask, what are you doing here?

Underling 2: I mean, you've never brought another person over, Young Master. So…

Underling 3: I overheard that the young miss plays musical instruments too? That's amazin’!

Underling 1: Try as hard as we may, we could never achieve the same beautiful sound you make with the Trumpet, Young Master.

Seiji: She plays a different instrument — a violin. You don't blow into one.

Underling 1: A violin? Wow! Ain't that the instrument that’s usually played by princess-like young ladies? 

▷Choice: I can play a piece for you later if you'd like

Undeling 2: You're willing to do that? Wow! I look forward to it!

▷Choice: Invite them to the street performance 

Underling 3: A street performance? That's somethin’ we can turn up for!

Seiji: While it's true that no one is restricted from attending a streetside performance… Are you sure about this? You'll lose out on normal listeners if they turn up.

Seiji: I'm absolutely baffled. I can't believe you're trying to get these guys wrapped around your finger too.

Seiji: I'm starting to wonder if you're just an accepting individual, or if you’re simply doing this with your head empty, and no thoughts behind your actions…

Seiji: Whichever the case may be, you're undoubtedly the most idiotic person I've ever come across.

Seiji: …I meant it as a compliment. I may not understand you, but perhaps this is what makes you uniquely you.

☆ ━━━━━━━ ∘◦♬Seiji’s Star♬◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ☆

Previous Part: (Chapter 4) Next Part: (Chapter 6)

[littlestsnicket]

tagged by @virginian-wolfsnake (thank you :) i still have a bunch of your fic open in tabs to re-read)

Fanfic writer 20 questions

how many fics do you have on ao3?

110 (that's not as many as it seems, i've written a lot of drabbles and have had my account since 2014)

2. what is your ao3 word count?

65,046 (see, not actually that much writing)

3. how many fandoms do you write for and what are they?

according to my ao3 stats, lots. slightly more than i can fit on my phone screen at once, lots. that i've written more than a few fics for an would consider writing in again if the mood struck me: community, doctor who, a series of unfortunate events, twin peaks, the witcher. (there's also a decent amount of marvel comic related fic, but i don't really see myself going back to that.)

4. what are your top five fic by kudos?

mending what's not quite broken: post season 2 witcher fic exploring geralt and ciri and jaskier and yennefer's relationship dynamic. it started as me being pissy about fanon takes on several things and ended up being a heartfelt exploration of unrequited love and that being ok, actually. it is also almost 4 times longer than anything else i have written. anyway, it's probably the thing i am most proud of, so it's cool it's at the top of the kudos list.

it's all fun and games: community fic where annie and abed have sex for the first time as themselves (in the sense that the fic implies that they very regularly have sex with each other while pretending to be other people). platonic soulmates with benefits ftw.

uncooperative sobering up: community fic exploring troy's feelings about abed and the emotional fallout of mixology certification.

(take your time) coming home: community fic set in a slight au where troy goes back to greendale near the end of season 6. it's mostly about the things that stay the same when it seems like everything has changed.

long distance confessionals: community fic set post season 6, where jeff calls abed in the middle of the night to have a small mental breakdown. (i regret not putting slightly more effort into this fic title, otherwise it's a solid fic.)

(you have to go down like 15 spots to get to asoue fic, which is not intellectually surprising cause teeny tiny fandom that i joined late, but i feel like i got such good responses to my asoue fic? i guess comments from people who's usernames i recognize feels better than kudos.)

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

most of the time. i like to let people know how i felt about their comment, even if it's just a quick thanks!

6. what is the fic you've written that had the angstiest ending?

that's an interesting question. i usually aim to end my fic on a reasonably optimistic note. probably scraps of paper concealed in handshakes (lemony and beatrice and bertrand pass notes after lemony fakes his death) or audible capital letters (yennefer and jaskier have a very silly conversation about science). they are both, overall, quite silly, but they both end with me going 'hey, remember the awful thing that is going to canonically happen next?!?'

7. do you write crossovers?

generally no, but i am very proud of the one i wrote, where dale cooper visits the snicketverse: iron filings drawn to a magnet

8. have you ever gotten hate on a fic?

not really? i have gotten a few comments where my response was 'i'm not sure why you felt the need to tell me that' but nothing i would actually classify as hate.

9. do you write smut? if so what kind?

uh, sure. i have written a handful of fics with 'on screen' sex. i wouldn't really classify them as smut though. i feel a bit bad, because i read a lot of smut and would like to give back to the smut reading community. i just... i don't like sharing things that aren't as good as i feel i can personally make them, and it's very awkward to put that much thought into sex (for me at least), so unless it's furthering some thematic point, i'm probably not going to manage to write it.

10. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i noticed, at least.

11. have you ever had a fic translated?

no. i had one of my drabbles podficced though, and that was incredibly exciting! i don't think i crossposted that. maybe i should? cuase it's really good! i've never interacted with the person that did it outside of the comment they made asking for permission and me commenting on the podfic that i was very excited that they had done it. i don't know what the etiquette for this is. someone also drew fanart for one of my atwq fics, i should have added a link to the story at the time, but i did not, so it's lost to the lack of thorough tagging on my tumblr...

12. have you ever co-written a fic?

no. i'm pretty sure my writing process is so erratic and undisciplined (i don't even write drabbles in order) that this would be impossible. i do really enjoy bouncing ideas off my beta reader though.

13. what is your all time favorite ship?

oh. this is so hard. uh... i think the doctor and the master. they can have the sex positive asexual vibe that i love so much (like, even when you write it romantically, they're intellectual rivals and friends first). and the lovers to enemies vibe. and the you make me question myself at my very core vibe. and the no one will ever understand me as much as you do (and i hate you for it) vibe.

14. what is a work in progress that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

well, all of my asoue and witcher wips (and the disastrous twin peaks cooper and caroline in pittsburgh story) are things i am definitely totally 100 percent going to finish writing one day.

back when i was still writing community fic, i started writing always a girl!abed nadir fic, and it's a bunch of disconnected scenes jumping around at least 4 seasons of the show, and i am never going to write something of that scope, probably not for anything, definitely not for that. i am seriously considering cleaning it up a bit and just posting them as ficlets though. they parallel the actual show pretty closely so they don't need a ton of context.

15. what are your writing strengths?

being concise and having every word mean something. i hope, at least. i spent enough time writing drabbles, obsessing over that sort of thing to get the word count that i hope it carries into my longer stuff.

maybe willingness to go back to the source material? i think of fic as having an interconnected conversation with the source material and fandom at large, so my fic tends to have some sort of thesis (at least in my head) so i hope that results in my work being interesting.

16. what are your writing weaknesses?

setting. in fic, you can mostly give the reader hints to remind them of the shared setting that already lives in both of your heads. but then sometimes you need to be in a new place, and HOW DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH OF IT TO DESCRIBE?!? is it even important at all? i usually lean on the side of less is more, but is it?!?!

it does not help that i picture things very vividly when i'm reading, but it's based on vibes and my brain being highly associative and sometimes flat out ignores the description that is actually in the text. so on the one hand, i want the reader to see what i'm seeing, but on the other, description of setting doesn't matter much to me as a reader, so it's very confusing.

17. what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

personally, i find it frustrating unless i can easily understand it from context or my lack of understanding is meaningful in some way. but, especially if you--the writer--are a polyglot, why not?

i would personally be uncomfortable trusting google translate, and it would have to be really important to what i was trying to achieve to go through the process of asking a real person.

18. what is the first fandom you ever wrote for?

doctor who, i think? that's certainly the first thing i posted on ao3, and i think all of the messing about with writing i did before that was original fiction. oh. technically, i was in a harry potter roleplaying community back in... 2006? i was mostly a spectator and find the process of role playing to be quite boring. (another reason--although i acknowledge it is somewhat different--that i wouldn't co-write fic.)

19. what's you favorite fic you've ever written?

aaaaah... this is really hard. this probably isn't even true, but I'm going to go with Someone lost to both of us. it just... achieves so many of the things i wanted to achieve with it, and i wrote it in like an hour and did approximately no editing, so i'm always a bit staggered when i reread it and have no notes.

20. who do you tag?

oh no... it's taken me so long to do this i can't remember who has already been tagged.

@valdomarx, @kuwdora, @olivia-calidamn but only if you want, of course!

[howtoapologize]

JD Barker Apology

Background:

https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/booktok-jd-barker-email-sexual-promotions-rcna135929

So basically, an author in his 50's solicited a bunch of teens to be naked for a really awful payment. (100 dollars)

Original Apology

On January 23rd [2024], an email went out on my behalf to known BookTok influencers without consideration of age or gender, from a company I own, detailing the framework of a social media marketing campaign meant to promote my upcoming novel, Behind A Closed Door; an erotic thriller set to release later this year. The email detailed several video ideas that were in keeping with events that occur in the book, a work of fiction. Those ideas were followed by:

"These are just suggestions. You're welcome to use them for your video or come up with something on your own. Half the fun of something like this is to let creativity rule! The content of the video is entirely up to you. As long as it's promoting BEHIND A CLOSED DOOR, it will be eligible. So get creative!"

This campaign was never approved. The email wasn't meant to go out without a substantial rewrite, but through a chain of errors, it did.

I take full responsibility for that.

I'm horrified such a message was released. And I deeply regret the hurt I've caused to those who received it.

I have nothing but respect for the writing community and the people who champion it and I've let all of you down.

I have nothing but the deepest respect for women. I'm a husband. I'm a father. There is no excuse for the insensitivity demonstrated by my actions. The weight created by those actions is inexcusable. I can and will do better.

The written word is something I cherish. Words have a power. And sometimes they can hurt more than the most dangerous weapon. Knowing I've wielded that weapon and injured is something that will weigh on me for the remainder of my days. If you were impacted by this, I am truly sorry.

Grading

1. What are they sorry for? 5/10 He didn't mention to nude soliciting to minors part or how it seemed to magically only go to women and girls. Plus he had to promote the book a bit in the apology. "an erotic thriller set to release later this year." But this goes into the deductions portion.

He then follows it with excuses, which goes into the deductions.

2. Who is he sorry to? The Tiktok Influencers. Doesn't name them, but doesn't seem to know their names. 8

3. Why was it wrong? Doesn't say beyond he has respect for women? 2

4. How would he fix it and not do it again in the future? Doesn't say. He pins it on the Marketing team. (more on that later.) 0

5. Accept full responsibility? He says he does, but it doesn't feel like it. It's reaching towards non-apology with the previous in place. 0

6. Make reparations? No. No reparations. Like donate some of his book funds to RAINN. 0

Total: 15/60: 25% That's an F. Can he get a worse grade?

Deductions:

Promoting the book:

"an erotic thriller set to release later this year."

This is not the time. -3

15-3=12

Making excuses:

"These are just suggestions. You're welcome to use them for your video or come up with something on your own. Half the fun of something like this is to let creativity rule! The content of the video is entirely up to you. As long as it's promoting BEHIND A CLOSED DOOR, it will be eligible. So get creative!"

Shooting past the point where the email said to get naked to teen girls... yeah, no. That's not how it's done. -5

"The email wasn't meant to go out without a substantial rewrite"

Yeah, what this person said. -5

"I have nothing but the deepest respect for women. I'm a husband. I'm a father."

He didn't watch the Barbie Movie where they made fun of this.

Apologies aren't about you and trying to use others as a shield. -5

So basically he lied... - 5, which is supported by the following.

He tried to pin it on a woman and her firm while being sexist. -10 (This is in the NBC article for those who use readers.) Not that sorry about hating on women.

Total Score: -13

I don't think an apology rewrite could save him in this case. The amount of PR he'd need to do wouldn't really help. Even if he donated all of the proceeds to RAINN, which he won't.

The basics, though was that he shouldn't have lied and he shouldn't have used women as a shield when he was showing being sexist.

The best action would have not even written it in the first place.

[rynnaaurelius]

Goddammit im so hapoy to have found you, a Luke apologist. I jaut got sucked back into the whole fandom bc of the upcoming series and... i read the original books when i was really young, right, 11,12,13. And yea, Luke was the bad guy!!

But now im actually Luke age. And i know how young everyone actually is. If you put me in charge of a bunch of 12-15 year olds and made me watch them die one after the other; i'd probably side with the side that's AGAINST those making this happen too???

Idk his stance is just so so so understandable. I'm studying to become a teacher rn and being responsible for big groups of young kids - it feels a certain way. It's like... motherly instincts, but not really, but kinda, but definetly extreme protectiveness.

Now did he make some bad choices along the way blablabla, sure yea. But holy hell his position is understandable.

ESPECIALLY! Knowing about New Rome and that alternatives are a possibility, actually, the greeks just aren't getting them??? Nah i'd definetly try and murder all the gods. Viciously.

I don't really know where i'm going with this except that i was scrolling through the Luke tag and one of your posts was like a breath of fresh air in between all the, mostly pretty young, fans that hate on him and everything he every did. So thanks, i guess?

Goddamn, I somehow never got an email for this, so I had no idea this was collecting dust in my inbox. Sorry about that.

Also, you left me rambling, so. . .sorry about that.

And yes. I am more or less the same age Luke was during the series, and I can't imagine the number it would do on you to be responsible for prepping a bunch of preteens and teenagers to face their violent deaths, especially after what he went through with his mother and Thalia.

I left it in the tags of the post that went viral against my will, but Luke's living out a different genre from Percy and company, and I—I would lose my shit, too, if in his position. That's torturous, dystopian shit.

They're kids, damn it.

(And I have. . .many headcanons about Luke Castellan and Camp Jupiter and Greek demigod life expectancies. Most of them not good, all of them trying to square the worldbuilding)

And I find it so difficult to believe that it's a bad person—and not simply a very angry and hurt person—who sets out to do really questionable things to try and keep another kids from suffering and dying, to prevent anyone else from becoming himself.

There's a certain despair through it and Luke's choices; I really, really have my doubts over whether Luke genuinely believed that he would survive the war, either way.

Raging against the dying of the light and all that. He knows he will likely fail, he knows he's propping up a monster, and he's doing it anyway in this desperate attempt to create something different.

This makes Percy so important because he still thinks that as family and as people, the gods can change—just look at his conversation with Hermes at the end of TLO.

There's a faith he very understandably keeps (Poseidon is, by godly standards, a good dad who tries and that's important), a faith that Luke, in turn, has understandably lost and we see Hermes's grief and regret over that loss.

Luke's last change in heart, his choice to believe in Percy, in how to break this cycle of violence and abuse that's been eating demigods alive, is beautiful and kills me every time.

(Requisite note that this final choice takes on a different timbre considering the events of HoO)

He's lost everything—his mother, Thalia, Annabeth, any semblance of a home he ever had. Which is how I think he justifies Kronos, ultimately, I think. He's lost any hope he has, for himself or otherwise, and is intent on making the gods pay for what they've done.

Like every other tragic hero, he penned his own tragedy, knowing what was going to happen the whole time, which kills me.

He walks into his own end and, at the end, finds that last thing at the bottom of Pandora's jar—Hope.

[yuraimi-lee-bunny]

Hot Take: people are mad that the choice they made to kill a bunch of people and keep Chloe alive has consequences, must be the same people who hated the last of us 2. Like fuck I personally expect people who make these choices to know that there are consequences that come with it. You wipe a whole town out, there are gonna be people hurting, people who have lost people and imo people are ignorant to think that it's gonna be a happily ever after, after making choices that hurt and affect so many fucking people. Why can't people understand that your choices to murder a bunch of people or to save one person and let other people die is gonna come with harsh and bittersweet consequences. Also, the fact Kate, Warren, and so many loveable people died in that storm and people are saying the game is guilt-tripping them, like honestly people in this fandom aren't my favorite. But I am glad to have a creator like you on this platform, enjoy seeing your posts and you seem cool af.

Preach!

I have been 6 years watching how most of the fandom didn't realize the consequences of the choice to sacrifice Arcadia Bay. As few dead people were seen in the final scenes, they believed that nothing serious was happening. Although there were others celebrating Warren's death... haha, because his worst sin was being a decent person trying to help. (sarcasm)

I guess there were people who really weren't expecting it and that's okay. Sometimes you don't estimate the consequences of your actions. And that "Wavelengths" will show those consequences is great, because they're doing it realistically, just like all LiS games do: be as realistic and human as possible.

And yes, there are others who complain, because deep down, they want to continue with their lie of "everything is great for Max and Chloe, nothing bad happened" because they don't like to be reminded that their decision to Sacrifice Arcadia Bay was disastrous and yes, selfish, because it caused many people to die when it was not their turn yet, their death was anticipated so that Chloe's death would be delayed. It was to take responsibility for Choe living at the expense of others losing all of his family, friends, and loved ones. If they can't deal with it, they shouldn't blame the game, the game just does what it should: show the consequences of the decisions they made.

And what has always caused me curiosity is that throughout these 6 years within the fandom you see more people giving theories and reasons to validate the end of Sacrifice Arcadia Bay, reasons why it's valid and it isn't bad, reasons so as not to be sad and angry or label it a "selfish ending" when in reality ... no one asked for them? I said it in a post 2 years ago and I will say it again:

The more excuses and reasons you give why you made a decision, the more it shows the guilt you feel for having made it. Why do they give SO MANY explanations to a decision you made to validate it? Seriously, it only shows more the distrust and guilt you feel for having done it than actually showing a "validation" and pleasure for having done it. And sometimes I think they only do it because they want to make those who decided to "Sacrifice Chloe" feel insecure, spreading their internal insecurity on others.

It was a tornado that wasn't predicted, so no one could protect themselves in time, of course there were going to be dead people. The word "Sacrifice Arcadia Bay" wasn't just sacrificing houses and buildings, it was also people. The consequences of BOTH decisions were shown. Hearing Steph and Mike talk about how they still hurts about Chloe and Rachel die was also painful, but in my case, I can deal with it, I can accept the consequences of the action I took to let Chloe die. And I don't regret it. Yes, it's horrible that they died and they didn't deserve it, but hurts me more to know that too many people died from a tornado that was caused by touching something so sacred and beyond my knowledge that is The Time, and that I could stop it. Personally, I couldn't bear all those deaths and the sufferings of others. Having my "loved one" by my side at the cost of ALL that suffering... no, sorry, I can't. I die in the process. (I'm a person who likes to help others. I'm very empathetic)

Treat people as you would like to be treated.

Thank you very much for your words! I know, LiS fandom is a whole world and most of them are very selective and like to annoy those who don't have the same tastes as them (basically if you tell the truth about Chloe, and you say you don't like Pricefield, you're done on their black list and incidentally they bully you, they send you anonymous messages and so on) but also there are people who are worthwhile within the fandom. I know some and they're great. And you're cool too! I love your posts full of truth! Keep it up! You inspire me a lot!

[brian-in-finance]

Alone, Jamie Dornan and Caitriona Balfe are global superstars with massive followings and a passionate fan base. From Outlander and Ford v. Ferrari (her) to Fifty Shades of Grey and Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar (him), they have ignited our TV and movie screens for well over a decade. But put them together for their new film Belfast, and they have more star power than my Zoom has ever seen.

The two Irish actors star as “Pa” and “Ma” in director-writer Kenneth Branagh's poignant and heartfelt story of one boy's childhood (played by revelatory newcomer Jude Hill) during the tumult of the late ‘60s in the city of Branagh’s birthplace. Based on the Oscar nominee's own experience, Dornan and Balfe are magnetic to watch, and that chemistry translates in multitudes off-screen as well.

On this day, they're together in a Los Angeles hotel room the evening after Belfast's U.S. premiere, where Dornan took the stage at the film's after-party to sing “Everlasting Love.” The song—first recorded in the late '60s—has become the film's unofficial theme, thanks to its presence in the trailer. But at the after-party, he recreated the moment for those lucky enough to be in attendance, and it's since made the rounds pretty much everywhere.

“Yeah, I have not seen any response to it, so I think if I did, I'd probably feel regret doing it, but maybe, I don't know,” Dornan says with a laugh." Even though Balfe assures him it was absolutely brilliant—which I co-sign—he's a bit hesitant. Like most actors, Dornan says he can read all the positive reviews in the world, and the one bad one will be all he thinks about. Still, he concedes that his performance was “a bit of fun and a release…and also getting over a fear thing, which I think is really important to do in your life. I maybe look like I was having [a blast up] there, but I was really terrified. I think that's part of the reason I do this for a living. I'm terrified of acting in front of people, but it's good to conquer those fears.”

I kiddingly assure the 39-year-old he has quite the future ahead of him, but he says “maybe I'll just perform at people's premieres. That will be my new side gig.” Balfe interjects: “And weddings, Bar, and Bat Mitzvahs.”

That teasing is part of the reason why the two are perfect on-screen—and in this Zoom. While they might be exhausted from traveling internationally and doing lots of press—plus, Balfe has a newborn at home—they aren't showing it. With plenty of Oscar buzz building and just a genuine appreciation for starring in what's being called Branagh's most personal film yet, if you thought their star power was bright enough as is, just wait until you see Belfast. Here, they talk about singing, dancing, and why poor Dornan just wasn't a fit for Outlander.

Glamour: When did you first meet each other? And what were your first impressions?

Caitriona Balfe: We were sort of introduced to each other in Toronto about two years ago. We were both there on separate projects, but…

Jamie Dornan: Actually I had two movies there [at the Toronto International Film Festival].

Caitriona: Oh actually, sorry, he had two movies out. But Drake Doremus, who directed one of your movies (Endings, Beginnings) that you were there for, I worked with him a long time ago, so I think he had introduced us. And it was one of those things, we know a bunch of people in common, our paths have been slightly similar, and it was a very strange thing that we hadn't met up to this point. And I thought, “Whoa, he is not as tall as I thought he was.”

Jamie: I remember thinking she's too tall for me to ever work with her. And when I knew it was going to be you I was like, I'm going to be on an apple box for most of the shoot.

Caitriona: That didn't happen. [Laughs]

Glamour: Jamie, have you ever watched Outlander?

Jamie: No. You know what? I haven't, no. I'll just own that. I wouldn't try lie about it, but actually Caitriona did say yesterday that apparently I'm not the target audience. So I don't really know, married men approaching 40, is that not? Was I the target audience seven years ago when it began?

Caitriona: No. Well, I wouldn't say he was a demographic that…initially responded to our show, right? I would say it's a more female-driven audience and at least initially in the beginning, I think it was people who had read the books. So the first books came out in '92. I would've said they would have skewed slightly older.

Jamie: I see, yes.

Caitriona: [Now] we have pretty much people of all ages watch it.

Jamie: That's a tall cast.

Caitriona: Sam [Heughan] is taller than you. Tobias [Menzies] is taller than you.

Jamie: Come on, mate.

Caitriona: Graham's taller than you. I think, yeah. [Laughs]

Caitriona, have you seen any of Jamie's previous work?

Caitriona: I have seen some. I have not seen Fifty Shades.

Jamie: Good.

Caitriona: And I may have only seen an episode or two of The Fall.

Jamie: Who stops it on episode two of The Fall? Jesus Christ.

Caitriona: I don't know yeah, but it's very good.

Jamie: I'm not good enough to continue with, but “it's good.” [Laughs]

Glamour: Oh my gosh, you guys are killing me. [Laughs] So what drew you to Belfast?

Caitriona: I wanted to work with Jamie Dornan from The Fall.

Jamie: She's [only watched] about a hundred minutes of The Fall, and it was enough to know that she wanted to work with me.

Caitriona: No. [Laughs]

Jamie: Yeah. I mean, when [the script for Belfast] came my way, the only cast was Judi Dench, who I had heard of in quite a big way. And that alone was just enough, and I knew that everyone else they were wanting to fill the cast with were really exciting people too. And I'm from Belfast, it's bit of a no-brainer. If someone like Kenneth Branagh is making a movie about your hometown, you want in. If I'm being honest with myself, I could have read the script, not really liked it, and still said yes, probably. But luckily I read it and was bowled over by it and felt this is one of the greatest gifts I've ever been offered as an actor to this point. So it was easy, yes.

Caitriona: And I think I was one of the last to come onto [the project], so when I first got the call, it was already pretty much set up. It was going to be Judi, Ciarán, Jamie…but my agent had called and said, “There is this project, these are the people involved.” And then it was, “Would you read the script and will you get on the Zoom with Ken?” And the script is beautiful. Ken, I think, is known more for his acting and directing, but he's an incredible writer. The character was amazing and she really spoke to me. So it all was just a quick yes.

Glamour: What is your favorite “I got to work with” Judi Dench story? Wait, what are you doing Jamie? (He's putting on his face mask inside the hotel room.)

Jamie: Sorry, I'm a fiddly person. [Laughs] But yes, Caitriona has more scenes with her than me overall, even though she was my mother and your mother-in-law. My favorite story was when we were doing all the cinema stuff, which we did in one afternoon and we're showing Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. And I turned to Judi and said, “Geez, Judi, how many times have you seen this movie? Must be countless.” Well, she's never. I said, “What do you mean ‘never?’ You've never seen Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?” She says, “No, I went to see Bambi when I was a kid and it was so gruesome what happens and the mother dies early on." And then she also saw Snow White and somebody ate the apple and died. I don't remember the one other movie she mentioned…

Glamour: Was it Fifty Shades? She's seen Fifty Shades about 10 times, right?

Jamie: Of course she's seen that. I mean, she doesn't live in underground. Oh, yeah, wait, it was Dumbo, which again it's pretty harrowing stuff, and it just put her off the movies. So she's hardly seen any movies. So I sort of tested her on it and said, “Have you seen The Godfather?” And she's like, “Good heavens, no!”

Caitriona: I mean, it's incredible that she's been in so many amazing films and she doesn't [see movies]. There's a scene in our film where myself and Judi are sitting at the table and Will (Lewis McAskie) is in the room with us and Jamie and Ciarán and Jude are in the back. And Ken just asked us to improv loads, which is one of the most, I think, amazing things I'll ever have done in my career—improv with Judi Dench, because she's wickedly funny. She is one of the most youthful and effervescent people you'll ever meet. She just has this energy and this light about her.

Jamie: Spark.

Caitriona: And yeah, you kind of have to stop yourself from sort of staring at her, or at least I do. Like, she's a person, stop. But it was amazing just getting to work with her and getting to play with her was just amazing.

Jamie: Ken's worked with her, I think, 12 times, and that's obviously very unique and rare, but just to have said you've worked with her, it's such a massive gift. To work with her that closely is such a treat.

Caitriona: And Lewis (who plays our son, Will) turned 15 when we were filming the movie, and when they were shooting the funeral scene, he had this really great 60s-cut suit. Lewis was like, “I love this suit,” and it was his birthday the next week. And Judi went ahead and bought him the suit. That's the kind of person she is. She heard it, remembered it and knew it would be a special thing. He was so thrilled. I mean, he was wearing it just last week.

(gifs from @brian-in-finance… because there’s a first time for everything)

Jamie: He was wearing it at the premiere, too. It's so cute.

Glamour: So, we have to talk more about the “Everlasting Love” song and dance scene, which is so charming and fun to watch. Jamie, that's you singing right?

Jamie: Yeah, but not on the day. Thankfully I recorded the track after we finished, a few months after. So on the day I'm just lip syncing to Love Affair (who recorded it in 1968, after Robert Knight recorded it first). But in the finished cut, you have to really listen live for, but there's both of our vocals on there. I feel my vocals start stronger and then they sort of fade me out. [Laughs] So it goes all away a bit maybe, which is fair enough. And it should definitely be led by [Love Affair's Steve Ellis] very powerful and amazing vocal. But yeah, in the final edit I'm in there, but not solely me. Nope.

Glamour: How much rehearsal did you do for that scene?

Caitriona: Well, there was a lot. We did quite a bit of dance rehearsals, but it was a lot of stolen time because there wasn't a huge amount of free time. We would have a lunch time here or an afternoon there, lots of Jamie and I sort of standing in front of our trailer going, “What was that song again? What was the step?” But Aletta Collins, our choreographer, was amazing. She found a way of giving us something we could actually achieve just about. But it's such an important moment in the story and it's such an important moment for the two characters. They're getting to that point where they're almost ready to break up and it's almost completely fractured, but you have this beautiful moment where they remember the foundation of their love, so no matter what happens…

Jamie: Love is everlasting.

Caitriona: The love is everlasting. There you go.

Glamour: Finally, there's that scene, Jamie, with you as Pa and Jude as Buddy, where you talk about respecting different religions. What's the message you hope audiences take away when they walk out of the theater?

Jamie: I think it's probably pretty close to that final moment. I think it's relatable to any civil war or any division that is tribal and really hard to understand that started a long time ago. And you get to a point where you're like, “Jesus Christ, if we are honestly here because they go to that church and they go to that church, is that the reason we're all fucking…" I mean, this is nuts. I'm a big advocate at home in Northern Ireland about integrating the school system [which is] less than 5%…integrated Catholic/Protestant, which is a shocking statistic. And so many of the problems would be fixed as a result of that. So that scene at the end where Pa says he doesn't care what religion the girl is that his son likes, as long as he respects her, and then her family will always be welcome…that is applicable to so many situations. It's universal. I think it's part of the reason that movie has been so warmly received by lots of different people, in different places. It just distills everything down, so I think if people come out of it with a sense of that, [then we did our job]. If we can all treat each other well, that would be a good thing.

Glamour: Beautifully said. And what was the most heartwarming thing about working with Jude, who is truly a revelation?

Caitriona: Jude was just such a joy to watch and to be around. I mean, both him and Lewis and Lara (who plays cousin Moira), are such great kids. And Jude and Lewis were like real brothers on the set, and he had such a lot to carry on his shoulders since he was in so much of the film. And then when he wasn't filming, they were sent to tutoring. So he was just always busy and he never complained. He was never tired, he was always prepared and it just made things really easy.

Jamie: Yeah, he has so much to do, it's his film, we're all just hanging about. But he always knew his lines. Didn't he?

Caitriona: Yeah.

Jamie: I mean, certainly compared to you.

Caitriona: [Laughs] Not true.

Jamie: No, we were all ready. You don't want to be messing up in front of the lights of Ken and everyone.

Remember… Dornan and Balfe are magnetic to watch, and that chemistry translates in multitudes off-screen as well. — Glamour

If you looked at this post and thought TLDR, think again. The Balfe-Dornan banter is gold.

[plasticnightmaredoll]

I stumbled across an interesting article the other day that was quite eye-opening:

Now, I am aware I have issues, and those issues stem from receiving verbal and emotional abuse from one of my parents from childhood even through my college years, and a little bit past that. Nearly 2/3rds of my life, to be honest. I am still attempting to heal but it's not easy, not in the slightest.

Reading through the article reminded me of two things:

I am not alone and LOTS of people endured emotional and verbal abuse while growing up (as well as other kinds of abuse in some cases).

I can see exactly why it's such a challenge to overcome these mental and emotional scars because I have a bunch of issues.

In case you don't want to read the whole article or just want a quick reference right here without having to go back and forth, this is a sort of summary version of the list (based on my interpretations). I bolded everything that applies to me and...well, you'll see:

Blaming yourself or taking the blame for other people's actions/behaviors.

Overthinking due to immense self-doubt.

Expecting perfection from yourself and setting unrealistic goals because of it.

Believing your problems don't matter when compared to everyone else's.

Bottling up your emotions.

Afraid to try anything new out of fear of disappointing friends and family.

Anger issues as a result of anger being directed at you as a child.

Putting on a brave face and acting like you're untouchable and unbreakable to convince others and yourself (temporarily) that you have it together (which is a lie).

Flinching when people try to touch you (in a friendly manner, like a hug or pat on the back) or when someone raises their voice (kind of like a form of PTSD from your childhood abuse).

Belittling, insulting, and/or scolding yourself for being emotional.

Fear of abandonment (including fear of people dying and leaving you).

Always/often saying, "yes," to everyone out of fear of getting into trouble (fear of conflict/confrontation due to past abuse).

Relying on others to assure you whether or not you're making the right decisions.

Shutting down emotionally when anyone raises their voice to you.

Social awkwardness: being too shy and anxious or being too friendly and giddy when it comes to meeting new people.

Whenever you find yourself in an argument or even if someone just raises their voice (maybe not even at you), you immediately feel like cowering out of fear.

Talking fast and over-explaining due to being ignored, ridiculed, and/or talked over by your parents/family.

Fear of growing close to anyone (be it as a friend or as a romantic partner) due to abuse and betrayal from parents/family while growing up. So, you're often lonely but afraid to reach out to anyone out of fear of being mistreated.

Remaining quiet in conversations and/or refusing to start conversations due to being mistreated for speaking up as a child.

Fear of authority, worrying if even a simple talk with your teacher or boss may be the result of you being in some sort of trouble. So, those with "power" remind you of your abusive parents, who had power over you and abused that power regularly.

Well, 19 out of 20. That's... a lot.

It's scary to see just how much I'm dealing with (and have dealt with most of my life) mentally and emotionally all because one of the two people I expected to love me unconditionally chose to be a terrible, overbearing, short-tempered parent.

This is one of the many reasons why I think women who want to get tubal surgery should be allowed to without hitting so many roadblocks. Don't come at me with religious beliefs of physicians, or "some women regret it, so you might, too!" or "you haven't had kids so you don't know the joy!"

I. Don't. Want. Kids.

I'm selfish, ok? I like money, like my free time, like sleeping in and napping, like being able to go where I want and when I want, want to be able to travel to goddamn Japan someday without having kids dragging me down the whole way there, I love gaming and want to keep getting the best gaming PCs I can afford...

I mean, at least I -- and other women who want to have tubal surgery -- are being responsible and realizing that parenting isn't for us and it's not fair to just put unwanted children into the adoption system time and time again. I'd rather be safe than sorry, you know?

And the same goes for other types of birth control. Women shouldn't be shamed for wanting such things, although it does still happen. I realize that parenting isn't for me and I'd be an awful parent -- not on purpose, mind you, but I'm too anxious, depressed, yet goal-oriented and self-indulgent to be a good parent. So, wanting long-term or even permanent birth control is a very responsible decision, I think. I'm avoiding a problem that doesn't need to happen if that makes sense.

But the article also made me realize something else, and it's based on what read and learned over the years:

You don't need to apologize to anyone for your existence, nor do you need to explain yourself to everyone who questions every detail about you. You are you, you have your privacy, you have your personal issues to deal with, and you don't owe nosy people anything.

You need to take care of yourself, and if anyone tries to get in the way and make you feel uncomfortable, then you need to avoid them because they aren't going to make things any easier for you. I'm much more aware now of how people are, and I now avoid interacting with those who display abusive/toxic traits like that of my one parent. I don't need more of that kind of crap in my life, certainly not from strangers who may claim to be a friend or my boyfriend or whatever.

No, I am me, I can be me, and I don't need anyone else trying to take their problems out on me. I hope others also realize this, that they don't need to be someone's punching bag (verbally or physically or both), and that it's not your fault if you were abused: the abuser is to blame, no matter what the excuses are. You are not responsible for an abuser's behavior, care, or past. Abusers need to help themselves and you need to help you.

[k-s-morgan]

(1/5)Hi again!) Hm, I don't think that Merope could have influenced Tom that much? If we take for granted that his lack of impulse control and not-so-great-ability to fully comprehend the consequences of his own actions aren't the result of his upbringing and are the result of pre-born circumstances. (Otherwise, sure) She herself didn't really think about consequences too much, if I think about it. Could she really present a logical argument why you shouldn't hurt people? One he would listen to?

(2/5)In fact, I don't think she had that integrity in the first place, hence the whole Riddle affair... (I suppose, one could work with thought patterns to prevent needless cruelty, APD-therapy-ish, but it would be hard, just on an intellectual level - because Tom is clever enough to catch obvious bullshit.)Speaking of "asexuality being used just to justify the lack of same-sex physical intimacy", people might often forget that aro ace couples can and frequently are physically or/and emotionally 

(3/5) affectionate with each other. Like, we do not just stare at each other lovingly and talk about purely platonic things. We cuddle, sleep together, explore our sexualities (kinks, rated fics, etc; a lot of aces actually are more willing to discuss sex than an average non asexual person, at least where I am), talk about relationships.. I am afraid that people just don't understand that asexuality isn't an absence of sexuality. It is a sexual orientation. Er,well, that was definitely rambling.

(4/6) I hope you don't mind. Sorry? P.S. What's your stance on "manipulative Dumbledore"? I recently 've been told an opinion that Harry wasn't "his responsibility", that he was just a Headmaster (+ a bunch of other things) and he doesn't have an obligation to be invested in the lives of his student on such a personal level so he would deal with their individual personal problems.P.P.S. Have you read The Train to Nowhere? I checked and you haven't mentioned it in any of your fic rec lists.

(5/5) It has quite an oblivious Voldemort in it - he completely doesn't read the signals as sexual, even though they'd be pretty obvious to an average observer. I absolutely loved it, partially because I nurse I headcanon of him being ace in there, even though it's 100% not gonna happen.( Well, for what we need slow burn if not for the opportunity to headcanon characters as a-spec and relationships as qpr for as long as possible (at least, a lot of aces told me it's the case with them.)) -- Alen

---------------------------------------

Hey, Alen! Thank you for as always interesting message))

1) With Merope, I can see several ways of development. From how we see her in canon, she doesn’t seem likely to provide Tom with a healthy environment, but some people transform drastically when they give birth to a child, so maybe this could have happened to her? She could have regretted her actions and tried to raise Tom to the best of her abilities. She could seek help from magical and Muggle communities both. Or maybe she’d raise a monster still - it’s interesting to speculate about it. But I think Tom would love his mother anyway if she stayed by his side.

2) Very true about asexuals and the attitude of many of them toward sex. In fact, the guy I lost virginity to told me later that he suspected I might be ace because the topic of sex and sex itself never fazed me and I treated it like a curious puzzle :D And yes, people who know little of asexuality try to use it as an excuse while also failing to understand what it means completely. So many of them think asexual = celibate.

3)  Dumbledore is very manipulative, but he’s not a villain either. He had to make some of the toughest decisions in his life, and his gray morality is the reason why I like him. All in all, he treated Harry terribly because he did raise him like a pig for slaughter, but it was for ‘greater good’ - and greater good is greater in terms of its scale. Dumbledore tried to rid Harry of the Horcrux, like with the Basilisk’s fang, but when it failed, he knew Harry would have to die to defeat Voldemort once and for all and save all other people. Granted, I think the whole existence of  Voldemort is partly Dumbledore’s fault because he treated Tom unfairly and cruelly from the start. The fact that he hid his parentage from him, even though Tom was likely mocked and bullied for it for the first year or two, definitely contributed to Tom’s overall bitterness. 

As for Harry not being his responsibility... of course he was -  Dumbledore made it so from the moment he chose to leave him in an abusive household to raise a potential hero with no feeling of self-worth. Harry was always special.  Dumbledore wasn’t just a Headmaster, he was a key player in the fight against Voldemort, and while I believe he loved Harry, he was prepared to sacrifice him to win this fight, which warranted a more personal contact and influence. 

4) I did read The Train to Nowhere and I absolutely loved it! I think I spent the entire night reading it. The reason why I don’t mention it in my lists is that the pacing there is very slow, and by the chapter I read last, we clearly weren’t even half-way close to the ending. I’m a bit cautious about labelling something as my favorite work when I have no idea of where the story might still go and how the central relationship will develop. I think I’m going to catch up on all the chapters I missed, though))

[rainycl0udss]

Chapter 2;

The party of the year

//When can I say "I love you"?//

Written part!

Word count; 2843

Moons pov

It has been two hours since we arrived at the Halloween party and I already managed to lose my friends.

Again.

I stand at the bar alone and look around the crowd. I absolutely hate crowds.

I pick up my glass of water and move to go and find my friends.

This is the last time that I'm giving in to them. I knew it was a bad idea.

They were kinda right that I don't spend that much time with them anymore but that isn't my fault. I'm just really busy with school. Music isn't going to produce itself and films aren't going to shoot themselves either. It's alot of work, definitely if I want to keep my scholarship. I can't afford to lose it. Daniel always tells me he would pay for my studies and that I should enjoy myself, but I know he doesn't have the money to do so. Plus I am perfectly enjoying myself in the studio.

My thoughts are interrupted when I suddenly hear someone yell my name.

"MOON!"

I look around to see where the voice is coming from.

Then I feel a hand on my shoulder.

I turn around to identify the person who just touched me.

"Here you are, I've been looking for you."

It was Jae-hwa. And what does she mean, she been looking for me. I have been looking for her.

"Jae, where have YOU been? I've been looking for YOU. Where are Mimi and Yun?" I ask her.

"Well..." She stared.

I can already feel that something happened. Something I probably don't want to know and definitely don't want to get involved in.

"... Mimi drank a bit too much..." She continues.

" When does she not drink too much?" I tel her while rolling my eyes.

"She dank so much that right now she's puking in the bathroom." Jae finishes.

I just sigh.

Honestly I'm not even surprised anymore at this point. Mimi always drinks too much. It was bound to happen at some point that she was going to puke it all out.

"Are you serious right now?" I sigh.

"Yeah and it doesn't look to good." Jae notes.

"Wait a hot second, why are you here when Mimi is puking her guts out in the bathroom? Couldn't you better have stayed with her?" I ask

"I didn't leave her there alone you moron, Yun is with her." She informs me.

"That's the same as leaving her alone. Or am I wrong?" I argue.

There falls a short silence between us. Or well, as silent as it can get at a party in a club.

The silence only confirms that I am right.

"She didn't look that drunk yet..." Jae mumbles after a while.

"Let's just fetch those two drunk bastards and go home, I've had enough." I decide.

Jae just nobs at me and pulls me along to the bathroom.

This is exactly why I hate going out. So much people. So much noice. Strangers making out with other strangers and let's not forget Dumbass friends who are picking all over the place.

We finally arrive at the bathrooms.

"Jae, Moon tHerE you GuYs aRe." Yun slurs out.

Yep, she is definitely drunk"

"Eumm... She WaS hErE jusT a MomeNt aGo." Yun giggles.

"Yun? Are you trying to tell me you lost Mimi? Because I hope to God you are not." Jae barks

Well, this ain't good. Not at all. This is bad.

Yun doesn't seems to be bothered at all by the turn of events.

"I dIdN't lOse hEr, I jUsT doN't knOw wHerE sHe is." Yun tries to argue.

Key word; tries.

"YUN! You are supposed to be the oldest here!" Jae angerly yells out.

"I shouldn't have left you both alone.." she then mumbles.

Just before Jae has the chance to start yelling again I hear an all to familiar voice.

"Guys here you are." I hear a cheerful voice say. It's none other then Mimi herself. She sounds oddly happy for just puking her guts out.

"Mimi! Where were you? Why the fuck would you just leave?" Jae yells. Ones again.

I have a feeling we will be going home soon.

I like that feeling.

"I didn't leave, I just went to another bathroom stall. Mine was a little dirty from, you know.." Mimi replies rather calmly.

At this point I'm not sure whether she is completely wasted or wether she actually sobered up a little.

"Let's just all calm down and try to stay together for the rest of the party, alright?" Mimi suggests.

"Or how about we just get the fuck out of here and go home?" I hint.

"I lIke MimiS iDea bEtTer." Yun replies.

"Nobody asked for your opinion Soo-Yun." Jae hisses.

I hear Jae sigh.

That is not good.

"I'm JuSt saYiNg, I waNna sTay sO I cAn trY anD fInd My SouLmAtE. Isn't tHat WhY we cAmE in ThE fiRsT pLaCe?" Yun slurs out.

That probably means we'll be here for a while. This sucks.

"I guess you have a point there, I don't wanna die alone either." Jae agrees after a second.

"Let's get to the dance floor bitches!" Mimi then yells out and pulls me with her in the direction of the dance floor.

This night is turning out to suck even more then I thought it would. That statement alone says it all.

"I'm just gonna sit over there yeah?" I excuse myself while sneaking away from Mimi.

Without waiting for a response I turn around and walk over to the bar.

If I'm going to be here for the rest of the night then I at least deserve a good drink.

And here I am, ones again, alone at the bar with a drink in my hand. This time I at least know where my idiotic friends are. I look up at the dance floor to see all three of them moving their bodies in the rhythm of the music.

Lord do I hate parties. I do have to say that the dj isn't that bad. The music sounds good mixed up. But I guess you don't need to be a pro to be able to do that.

An hour later and I'm still in the same spot I was in the hour before.

I've got to say, things didn't escalate.

Yet.

I look up from my third drink of the evening. Only to see Yun grinding on a guy, Mimi making out with a guy and I can't see Jae at the moment.

I sigh ones again.

I'm way to sober for this shit. But I can't get drunk right now. That would mean I would be hungover tomorrow and tomorrow I have a bunch of stuff to do.

I take the last sip of my drink before I put it down on the bar.

Sometimes I really question why I'm friends with them. I guess because I literally don't talk to anyone else but them. We also have known each other since highschool, so that might be another reason why.

I get pulled out of my thoughts when I hear an unfamiliar female voice on my right side.

"What are you doing here on your own?" The female voice asks me gently.

I look up to the side and look right into some soft brown eyes.

"Eum., I eum I just don't really feel like eum feel like dancing." I stutter out.

I mentally face palm. Damn Moon, you can't even talk to another girl.

"Did you come here alone?" The gentle voice asks me.

"Eum.. no I'm here with my friends." I reply as steady as possible.

"That's good to hear, I've seen you sitting there for over an hour doing nothing at all. I got a little worried so I thought I should come up and ask you." The gentle woman explains.

"That is very considerate of you unnie." I smile up at the gentle female.

"Oh no, where are my manners. My name is Areum, you can call me Ari unnie." The gentle voice tells me, who I now know belongs to Areum.

"It is nice to meet you Ari unnie, I'm Moon." I introduce myself.

"Nice to meet you Moon, so, what are you doing here alone?" Ari unnie asks me again.

I sigh for the one hundred time this night.

"I'm not really a party person, but sadly my friends are. So they convinced me to come along with them. I'm regretting it tho." I ramble.

"Sounds like a pain." Unnie giggles.

I laugh at her statement.

"It is a pain." I laugh a little.

"Do you want another drink?" Unnie asks me.

"No thank you unnie, I can't afford to get drunk tonight, I've got alot of work to do tomorrow. I also have to stay sober because I'm fairly sure I'll have to dive tonight. Let's not forget my friends who I have to look after. I'm their babysitter after all." I ramble on.

"Not trying to find your Soulmate?" Unnie asks curiously.

"I'm not really churching for them .." I begin.

"Oh? That's unusual. Why not?" She wonders.

"Well, if I'm meant to be with my soulmate I believe I will find them without trying. Why try so hard when it should happen naturally. And even if it wouldn't find them, I wouldn't really care...." I explain.

"That is an interesting way of seeing it. I do understand your philosophy, many people just see it different then you do." She responds

Most people think it's weird that I don't want to find my soulmate. They all think I don't give a fuck, even tho that is partly true, it isn't completely the truth. I wouldn't mind finding my soulmate, I just don't think I should do such an extensive church for them. I want to be together with a person because I like them for who they are, not just because they're my soulmate.

I get pulled out of my thoughts when I hear Ari unnie continue.

"Although, I do know someone who thinks the same as you." She recalls

"Tell them I agree and that they're not the only ones who are strange." I reply while I giggle a little.

We talked for probably an hour like this.

We talked about anything really. She told me about her friends and her husband. Apparently she's already married to her Soulmate. She doesn't look that old tho?

Overall, I was actually enjoying myself.

I look up at the dance floor ones again to check what my friends are doing, only to find out that I no longer see any of my friends anymore.

You can't be serious right now.

I literally don't look for five minutes and they're gone.

"I'm really sorry Unnie, but I really have to find my friends. I can't see them at the moment and God knows what they're doing right now." I inform her.

"But ofcourse Moon, I didn't mean to hold you up at all." Ari unnie expresses.

"You did not hold me up at all Unnie, I actually quite enjoyed talking to you." I confess quickly.

I definitely don't want her to think she was bothering me. I'm happy it was her who started talking to me instead of some random guy who tries to get in my pants.

"Why don't you come to my coffee shop sometime, I'd really like to talk to you again." She smiles at me.

"You own a coffee shop?" I ask her surprised. She doesn't look that old.

She only looks a year or two older then me. I guess it's possible to own a coffee shop at such a young age, it's just very surprising.

I think she could see the surprise on my face because she stared to laugh before she started to talk.

"You seem rather surprised that I own a shop." She continues laughing.

"I'm sorry Unnie but you just look rather young, not much older then me and I'm only 20..." I mutter.

"Oh dear, I'm 26 years old right now. So that is not that near your age as you think." She smiles at me.

"But thank you for thinking I look so young." She continues.

Suddenly I hear someone yell, I'm pretty sure they're telling my name.

"MOON?!" Yep, that's my call.

"I hear you have to go to the rescue. And who am I to stay in your way " unnie jokes.

"But before you go, my shop is called Blooming, please do consider coming." She says quickly while waving at me as she leaves.

"I definitely will unnie, thank you!" I yell while walking away from her.

She was very nice, I honestly enjoyed talking to her. She is probably the best part of this night.

"Moon, jUsT wHo I nEedeD." The slurring voice from Mimi says.

I already regret leaving the bar.

"What do you need me for Mimi?" I elaborate.

"I tHinK it'S tImE to Go hOme And yOu neEd to drIve." She tries to explain to me.

Ofcourse that's why. I'm actually rather happy that she wants to go home, Because I do too.

"Where is the rest?" I ask her because there is no sign of Yun or Jae.

"Jae is AlreAdy By tHe car." She responds

"Oke that's good, where is Soo-Yun?" I imply.

"I'm..... Not sUrE..." She mumbles to herself.

I facepalm.

Did they seriously lose each other again. This is ridiculous.

"Just..eum.. just go to the car and wait in the car with Jae yes? I'll just go and find Soo-Yun..." I begin to explain to her.

But I soon realize my idea is very bad.

There is no way she would find the car on her own.

Fucking great.

"Nevermind, I'm bringing you to the car and you'll wait there." I reply quickly and drag her with me to the car.

Ones we arrive at the car I see Jae sitting next to the car on the ground.

"Get of the ground and get your asses in the car." I exclame frustrated.

Luckily both of them do as I say and get in the car.

I close the door and walk back to the party.

Great, now I have to find that little midget in here.

Then I feel a hand on my shoulder.

I turn around and am faced with very familiar soft brown eyes.

It's Ari unnie.

"You seem stressed my little coffee bean, what's the problem? Can't find your friends?" She asks rather worried.

Wait, did she just call little coffee bean?

Nevermind that, I've got no time for that, I need to find Soo-Yun and get us home.

"You can say that, I only can't find one. The others are already in the car." I try to explain quickly to her.

"Want me to help you out a little?" She asks me.

I don't think I've ever been so happy with help that I have been offered.

"That would be very kind if you want to help me." I practically marvel.

She gives me a kind smile and nobs as a sign for me to keep walking.

It didn't take us to long to find her, only about ten minutes. I think that's a new record.

After Ari unnie and I found Yun, we walk to the car.

I have no idea what the hell she has drunk this evening and I have a sneaking suspicion that I don't want to know.

One thing is for sure, it was way to much.

Ones all three of them are in the car I turn to Areum.

"I can't thank you enough for helping me out." I cry out.

"Absolutely no problem little coffee bean, I'm happy to help. But can I ask for a little favor?" She chimes

"Ofcourse unnie, what do you need? You want a lift home?" I ramble.

"No coffee bean I don't need a lift home, I've got one but thank you anyway." She smiles at me.

I urge her to continue talking.

"You have to promise and come by my shop, yes? I'd really like to have a coffee with you little coffee bean." She grins.

She then gives me a small cart with an address on it and contact information.

"Ofcourse unnie, i promise to come next week." I promise her.

She seems pleased with my answer and gives me a hug before going back to the party.

After she left I get in the car and drive the four of us home.

Ones we're home I get everyone to their room and then go to mine.

I actually had some fun tonight.

That's a first.

I dress up in my PJs and jump in my bed.

I look at my phone and notice it's already 03:18 am.

I had no idea it was that late already.

I lay down in my bed and turn on my alarm.

Tomorrow morning is going to be a pain.

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