#and a $10k deductible

[clonerightsagenda]

It's such a huge scam that medical and dental are separate insurances. Assuming my insurance doesn't pull a last minute 'fuck you', I'll be at deductible after my surgery, so my physical therapy should be covered, but if I need any fillings or gum grafts or other dental repairs from all the damage the braces and surgery have done? Nope those are on a different insurance and dental doesn't have a maximum out of pocket

[gravitybrothers]

My mom's way of trying to convince me to not transition is to tell me how ugly I'm going to look so I just Know when I end up getting top surgery she's gonna tell me how ugly my chest is going to look. Idk not gonna stop me.

[objectosexual]

Tumblr objectum nation send me good vibes that everything regarding my car will end up okay

[ticktokrobotsnot]

Vapor

This is Part 2

You can read Part 1 here.

Pairing: Carmen Berzatto x fem!reader 

Summary: An accountant helps Carmen organize his not-so-shit-restaurant and gets invited over for family dinner. 

Word Count: 10k

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The sky was blood orange and the reflection on the store window was mesmerizing. Y/n was supposed to be in the office getting ready for the full day ahead of her but she couldn’t resist slacking off for a bit, it was nice to finally enjoy the restaurant with no one inside. Y/n needed to be here early when a potential vendor came by to give some quotes. Carmen’s initial reaction was to stand his ground and act like some faux bodyguard because he couldn't fathom why some “sick fuck” would want to be alone with a woman in a restaurant at the ass crack of dawn without them having bad intentions—said it wasn't safe at all. Y/n had to inform him that the, “sick fuck” was a woman. And as soon as Carmen heard that, and realized they were going to be talking numbers for a while, he ran off to the farmer's market, wanting no part in that snooze fest. 

Y/n grabbed her laptop and started reviewing the binders she organized. Just as y/n was about to check her phone for any messages, she heard a knock at the door. A pretty blond woman looks at y/n with a bit of confusion. This woman wasn’t expecting to see y/n and y/n wasn't expecting to see this woman. Y/n walked to the door and opened a crack. 

“Who are you?” Y/n questioned. 

“I could ask you the same thing.” The women laughed but y/n wasn’t finding this funny.

“Natalie…” Y/n shook her head like a bouncer sending a teeager away without his fake ID.

“Natalie Berzatto.” She clarified and y/n recalled the name as a co-signer for The Beef, now The Bear. Y/n opened the door a bit more to let her in. 

Y/n gave her name but she didn’t know what else to say but Natalie was already filling the space. 

“Hi! It’s so nice to finally meet you, Carmen won't stop talking about you. You really saved our asses. Especially with the file organizing stuff, I found the old payroll stuff in like a minute, you're a real savant with stuff like that. Carmy is a real sticker for cooking but he is a real shit-”. It didn’t take a genius to figure out Natalie was nervous.

Y/n knew that Natalie was a part of Carmen’s family but she didn’t know how they were connected. One plausible scenario was that she was Micheal’s widowed girlfriend or wife, which would explain why anyone would co-sign the disaster that Micheal had created and promptly left. Y/n wondered why Carmen would be getting so chummy with his widowed sister-in-law, but then again men have done worse. 

Y/n bit the bullet, “How do you know Carmen?”

“I'm his sister… Sugar?” Y/n was starting to feel like a real idiot for not being able to piece these easy deductions together, she was losing her edge because it was to fucking early in the morning.

“Yes, Richie told me that “Sugar” was going to stop by this week. What can I do for you?” Y/n didn’t mention that she thought Sugar was going to be a stripper because of the name. 

“Actually I came to pick some old tax stuff… Micheal’s tax returns.” Y/n guided her to the office. Even if she didn’t look back she knew that Natalie was spying on her binders and laptop laid out on the counter, trying to find out a bit about y/n. 

“So, Carmy tells me that you two used to work together back in New York.”

“Yeah it was only for a few years.”

“Were you close?” Natalie probed. 

“We were…strangers at best.” Y/n chose to leave out the messy parts of her and Carmen’s origins. 

Natalie shook her head in disbelief. "That can't be true, he actually came to my place one day, pretty late. You know why?" Y/n, not knowing the answer, simply shrugged her shoulders. 

"He said he needed to make an important phone call, someone from his old job. He said that he wanted to ask for a bit of help." Natalie continued, her voice tinged with wishfulness "I thought maybe he was finally going to therapy or something." Y/n felt a strange sensation, like she was staring directly into the sun, hope gave Natalie a beautiful glow. 

Natalie's smile softened as she added, "And you know what? He made that phone call right on our porch." Her words carried a touch of warmth. "Well, at least he's reaching out for help. It's a good thing, right?"

“I recommended therapy to him too but I think we would need to put a gun to his head for him to actually go." Natalie let out a humored exhale. 

There was a lull of silence after she handed the tax returns. Y/n could sense that Natalie wanted to talk some more so y/n directed her to the bar stools out front. She checked her phone and saw that her vendor had a family emergency and needed to reschedule. After shooting a quick ok, she directed herself to face Natalie. 

"You can ask me anything. I've got plenty of time to kill." Y/n offered, feeling generous considering the recent kiss shared with Natalie's brother just a week ago.

“I was here a few times but I never had a chance to meet you?”

“I was probably apartment hunting.” Natalie looked like she was debating asking her next question.   

“What did you think of Carmen when you guys were back in New York?”

“He was like every other chef.”

“Nothing else? No pulling force?”

“No pulling force.”

“You moved state lines for him and you're saying there was no pulling force?”

“He asked me for help and I gave him some.” 

“You chose to stay. There had to be a pull.”

“The restaurant spoke to my soul, I had to stay.” Y/n was bluffing. 

“Bullshit, there was a pull.” Natalie said with a self fulfilled smirk like she had won a point in their imaginary game.

Natalie continued, “You know, he won a Michelin star. A man who cooks…is not too bad.”

“I don’t eat gourmet food. It’s pretentious.” Y/n didn’t want to make too much out of the kiss and make Carmen panic.

“I'm sure he can make something you will like.” 

“I have yet to eat something of his that would warrant him having a Michelin star.”

“You don’t like his cooking?”

“I don’t like anyone’s cooking.” Natalie couldn’t come up with something else. Point to y/n. A smile spread across y/n’s face and Natalie was relieved to realize that y/n wasn’t being serious. 

“What do you like doing?” Natalie probed. 

“I spend most of my time working here but I also read.” 

“Why did you leave New York?” Natalie blurted out.

“I don’t like working with other people, my boss was all over me. I thought Chicago would be a nice change of pace.” 

Y/n saw Natalie unlock her phone to respond to a text from someone named Pete, who had a pink heart near his name. Y/n knew that memorizing people’s passwords was an invasion of their privacy but it was fun to be a bit nosy. 

Y/n was also tired of getting the third-degree, she was hoping for a few fun questions asking if she ever murdered anyone or if she ever was contacted to be a part of a bank heist. She would be lying if she wasn’t a bit afraid that whatever she said would be relayed to Carmen so she didn’t want to say anything too damning. 

“You read romance?” Y/n saw the book peeking out of Natalie’s bag, it was one that she had read before. 

“Yeah, they’re my guilty pleasure.”

“Mine too. I liked that one.” Y/n pointed at the book peaking out.

“I hate it, it's filled with miscommunication. I’m only finishing it to justify the 12 dollars I spent.” Natalie said with a fake pout. 

“I love miscommunication because I suck at talking to people too. Much better than the one I just finished.”

“What killed your book?”

“Third-act break up.” Natalie nodded her head, it seems like they agreed. 

Y/n couldn't help but feel relieved; while the nature of Y/n's relationship with Carmen remained uncertain, it was evident that Natalie would become a more integral part of the restaurant. Carmen's recent discovery of three hundred thousand dollars hidden in tomato cans had sparked ambitious plans for renovating the place. Even if she ended up being nothing serious with Carmen, she needed to secure a stable support who wouldn’t completely hate her if shit hit the fan. 

They continued to talk about a few books that they had read, a few so trashy that they had to hide their faces in embarrassment from each other when reading the summary out loud. 

The door chimed and both women looked over to Carmen who was holding a few bags of produce and baked goods. Y/n went over and plucked the receipts for the top of one of the bags, she didn’t bother helping Carmen because he wouldn’t have let her help anyways. Carmen was gracious enough to put all the receipts together so she wasn’t digging to find them, she kept a record of them to write them off as a business deduction. 

“Nat, you’re here early?” Carmen spared a glance before opening a box of croissants to share and then disappearing to the kitchen to put everything away. 

“Yeah I had to pick something up, y/n was so kind to help me so early in the morning. Isn’t she just the best?” 

“Yeah…How did it go with the vendor?” Carmen mindlessly mumbled while busying himself with a notebook of recipe ideas. 

“Rescheduled.” Y/n didn’t look up, engrossed in cataloging some expensive mushrooms for record keeping. $268.43 for some mushrooms was honestly so ridiculous y/n needed to squint to see if she was seeing this right. 

“I need to return the favor.” Natalie started.

“It was just a few folders, you really don’t-”

“Why don’t you join us for dinner on friday?” Y/n felt like she was performing front and center.

“I couldn’t-.” 

“Please, Pete never wants to talk to me about…” Natalie was raising her eyebrows in the most unsubtle way possible so she didn’t expose y/n's softer side and her penchant for reading romance novels. Y/n couldn’t help but hide her face in embarrassment, “Yeah…fine. Just tell me what time.”

Observing the exchange, Carmen couldn't help but wonder if this was how dogs felt when humans engaged in their own incomprehensible conversations.

Y/n was starting to feel like she was edging closer and closer to Carmen’s limit. Kissing in the back alley of a restaurant and on the car ride to and from work was very different from being invited to his sister’s house for dinner. It carried a weight of intimacy, commitment, and solidity that made Y/n slightly uneasy, wondering if this was too much for Carmen. She waited for the other shoe to drop, Carmen would subtly show his discontent by telling Natalie that she shouldn’t force y/n to go to that dinner, which was just an excuse to create some distance. Y/n was surprised when Carmen asked what type of desert he should bring instead. 

Y/n kept her cool and excused herself to go to the office so she could get back to work. 

Carmen and Natalie moved to the kitchen where Carmen would experiment for a bit. Natalie sat on a stool next to Carmen who started washing produce. 

“She is very smart.” Natalie whispered. She took a glance at the closed office door.

“Yeah. Great with the books.” Carmen peeled and diced some garlic. 

“Nice too.”

“She is very nice.” Carmen started cutting some nepitella. The additional “very” caused some alarm bells to ring in Natalie’s head. She hid her smirk. 

“Everything about her is nice,” Natalie made sure to pay close attention to Carmen’s face, “Nice personality, nice face-” Carmen took a worried glance at the office door and then looked up at Natalie with wide eyes.

“Why, why, what are you-?” He was flustered. 

“I’m just sharing my observations. You don’t think she has a nice face-?”

“This is a business, we try to keep professional.” Carmen hid his fumble with fake professionality, unfortunately Natalie saw right through it. 

“Try?” Natalie teased. Carmen looked away to pretend to look for some dried porcini. He felt like an idiot. He understood why people used to see him as an easy target when he was younger, he basically showed everyone his buttons, and asked them to get pushed. Carmen continued to chop in silence. 

“I'm sorry, I just got a bit excited. I won't push.” Natalie gave her brother the benefit of the doubt, she always thought he would never get into a serious relationship but he liked y/n and y/n seemed like the serious girlfriend type. Natalie couldn’t help but nudge Carmen in the right direction. 

Carmen chopped in silence for a few minutes, debating if he should tell Natalie about the kiss. In his mind, he didn’t know if it was too soon for him to introduce his girlfriend to his family. Calling y/n his girlfriend felt unreal, past him wouldn’t believe it even if he saw it.  

He handed his notebook to Natalie so she could read measurements to him, he wanted her here for just a bit longer till he gained the courage to tell her about y/n. 

Tagliatelle with porcini mushrooms was the first test item of the morning, and he had to soak the dried porcini for 30 minutes, he was bummed that the market didn't have the fresh kind but he knew he would get the real shit when y/n got a hold of that vendor. He looked up at Natalie and tilted his head to indicate that they should leave. Carmen avoided the alley because he knew that y/n would look there first and he didn’t want her to overhear anything. They walked over to a nearby supermarket and started roaming the aisles. It was nearly empty because it was six in the morning. 

“I did something…and I need you to not…just listen and don’t make it a big deal.”

“I got it, Carmy.” 

“A while ago, I…” Carmen looked at all the different types of instant noodles they had on display. “So, we were in deep shit with these pre-orders and I was a mess and y/n and I were talking after…” Carmen moved over to the boxed pasta, he didn't intend to buy anything but he did read the nutritional facts.

“I umm, asked her to…” Jesus, Carmen wondered, why he didn’t make more friends so he didn’t have to talk to his older sister about something like this. Richie didn’t seem capable of giving any advice that wasn’t, “Just Do It”.

 “We ki…” Natalie kept her face hard but the second that Carmen turned around to look at a box of elbow pasta, she couldn't help herself but let out a small, barely audible squeal of delight. Her eyes widened, and a grin threatened to break through her determined facade. Natalie quickly covered her mouth with her hand, trying to contain her elation, making sure not to let Carmen catch a glimpse. She stifled her excitement with every fiber of her being, preserving the illusion of calmness for when Carmen turned back around, none the wiser.

“It’s been a while, and we k…” Carmen didn’t know how he was supposed to maturely ask for advice when he couldn’t even say a kiss in front of his sister while cringing. Carmen couldn’t do this, it was too open, too vulnerable. 

Nat cut him some slack and started asking questions instead, “Was it a one time thing?” Carmen subtly shook his head no. Her lips parted as she squeezed a jar of Pego to contain herself. 

“Do you regret it?” Carmen didn’t respond but that didn’t mean no, that ment that she was getting closer to the root of the problem.

“Do you think she’s going to regret it?” Carmen’s shoulder’s raised slightly, bingo. 

“Why don’t I gauge how she is feeling at dinner.” Nat knew he was about to run away from her for exposing too much and she had to give him an incentive to not follow his instincts. 

She continued, “We talked earlier, she said she hates your cooking.” Carmen’s head snapped up, Nat knew that y/n was just joking but it was still a bit funny to mess with Carmen. 

The look of shock transported her back to when she was eight sitting next to Carmy and watching Micheal convince him to finish a glass of milk or else he would lose all of his teeth to a calcium deficiency. This wasn’t the time to reminisce but it made her heart warm knowing that even after going through so much, there was still a part of young Carmy that persevered. She was feeling the burning in the back of her eyes, her hormones were making her sentimental. 

“Yeah she said that your food fucking blows.” Carmen caught on and let out a small laugh.

They both roamed in the aisle moving on to juices. Sugar free, diet, pineapple, orange. Carmen’s eyebrows raised when he saw the price of orange juice before putting it down and deciding to just make his own. 

Carmen started, “She isn’t the type of person who changes her mind easily,” but if she can make that shift to see him in a good light, maybe she'll stick around and eventually see the real Carmen—a pathetic, insecure loser. All he did was make a promise to her but he knew it meant nothing without actions, and he was unsure if he could control his anger or keep his obsessiveness in check when something especially difficult happened. If another shit storm made its rounds in the kitchen, would he really be able to be the bigger person? Carmen doubted it. 

Carmen just ripped off the bandaid, “I don’t know how to…I want her to not hate me. I know I'm going to..” Carmen waited till a child next to them moved to the other end of teh aisle towards his dad, “..fuck it up, but I dont want that to happen.” 

“What makes you think she is going to hate you?”

“When we were talking…she told me that I should have done better. And that I…needed to be “stable”, but I don’t know how to be that for myself, let alone someone else.”

“She isn’t asking you to do it for her, she wants you to do it for yourself.” Natalie offered. 

“Its like having to solve a word search to answer a stupid fucking puzzle. I don’t…” Carmen sighed in defeat. Nat knew that he was strong and it was impossible for her to fix this for him but that still made her palms itch seeing him struggle like this. She racked her brain, desperately seeking any glimmer of a solution that could offer him even a shred of relief. 

They both walked out the market towards the restaurant. “It's really hard…and it's not that I don’t want to, it just feels impossible.” Carmen muttered, he was close to giving up. 

A burning sensation welled up in the back of Natalie's throat, and she instinctively placed her hand on Carmen's shoulder as a gesture of support and to her surprise Carmen looked at her, saw her glassy eyes and hugged her. The shock knocked a few tears from her eyes.. 

Carmy was not a selfish person but Nat noticed that he was becoming a bit more aware that he takes up much more space then he originally thought he did. He now knew that his presence was big enough to be able to tear people down but was also big enough to offer meaningful support. He had come to understand his own significance, and this realization struck Natalie like a tidal wave, causing her to burst into uncontrollable sobs. 

“Does crying mean I'm fucked, Sugar?” Carmen asked, his voice tinged with humor and uncertainty, as he gently rubbed Natalie's back for comfort. Nat shook her head no.

“You'll be okay. You always are.” Nat wiped her face before continuing to walk back to the restaurant. 

Carmen snuck a few glances to see what was making his sister a sobbing mess, she wasn’t the type to break down like that, “Are you good?” Natalie nodded her head.

“Everything good at home?” It felt strange to say the word home, even after visiting multiple countries and living in many different apartments, Carmen couldn’t really call any place home. Home was supposed to be a sanctuary of warmth, Carmen's closest experience to that feeling was back in his family house—a place where the warmth was scalding and suffocating. Where it was a constant waiting game, anticipating the intense heat to escalate and cause everything, and everyone, to boil over. 

Carmen was acutely aware that he would never have a home quite like Sugar's. He couldn't help but wonder if he had what it took to be like Pete for someone else—always helpful, kind, and perhaps a little too accommodating. He questioned whether he had the capacity to fulfill that role and maintain his own sense of self. Granted, what about his “self” was worth preserving?

Natalie nodded her head but Carmen wasn’t convinced. “It's just a lot, you know. Seeing the place getting renovated. I used to hate that place, but..” She sighed, “...I picked up Micheal’s tax returns, I didn’t even need them for anything…I just wanted to see them to know what he was going through towards the…'' end. She didn’t need to finish for Carmen to know what she was talking about. They were in front of the restaurant and Carmen gave her a side hug and against his better judgment he tried his hand in verbal reassurance so he could be there for her, fully. 

“I think he tried his best to make everything look fine, and it’s nice to know that he was at least able to pretend till the...end.” Sugar looked up at him and didn’t comment on his successful attempt to be her support, not wanting to scare him. 

They wordlessly walked in the restaurant and Carmen finished up his dish. He made enough for one plate because he was expecting to have to remake it a few times. He grabbed a small plate and served a separate plate for y/n before knocking on her door. She looked up at him, not hearing him and gave him a “hmm” which echoed in his chest. She sat with them in the kitchen, taking her laptop with her. They all took the first bite together. Carmen watched both women’s reactions to gauge their uncensored reactions. Natalie’s eyebrows raised and she gave him a nod of approval. 

Y/n took a bite and looked up from her plate so see Carmen staring at her. “Why are you staring?”

“Do you not like it?” 

“It’s good.” Y/n put her fork down and propped up her head on her hand. 

“But, you didn’t-”

“I’m not really a foodie, so food is never like…” Y/n made an explosion sound and flicked her hands open, “Good, is the best you going to get out of me.” Natalie wondered how a chef and an anti-gourmet foodie were going to work. 

“Is all food just ”good”?” Y/n looked up and tried to think of food that was better than good.

“I like mom's cooking.” 

“What is her food like?”

“Intense…subtly in food doesn’t mean anything to me because I don’t taste the difference.” Carmen was waiting for more for y/n.

“I ate a lot of spicy, sour and bitter food growing up. My mom didn’t think that kids should eat different things than everyone else, so I guess pasta and mushrooms will always be just “good”.” Y/n felt like she was just shitting all over his profession but he asked for her opinion so he couldn’t get offended now. 

Carmen nodded his head before walking away. Y/n pierced her lips and looked over to Natalie wondering if she hurt Carmen’s feelings. Natalie looked just as bewildered. Just as y/n was about to find Carmen, he came out with a few more ingredients.

“What are you making?” 

“Something you will like.” 

“I liked what you made-” 

“Good is not enough.” 

“Come on, Carmen, it's something that everyone will like, it’s going to kill opening day.”

“But you have to like it.” Y/n sighed before indicating that he should continue. 

“You won’t be able to serve the food I like to eat, it would be considered a biological weapon.” Y/n was warning him but Carmen thought she was teasing him. He would learn to listen to her warning in the future. He put the porcini mushrooms to the side before getting started on some penne all’arrabbiata. 

Y/n laughed at him knowing that he wouldn’t have the courage to spice up a dish to her standard before grabbing her laptop so she could get some work done and also talk to Natalie about contractors. 

While Carmen chopped and stirred, y/n subtly glanced up at his flexing back and strong arms. She thought she was hiding it well but when she went to check if Natalie noticed she saw that Natalie was already watching her. Natalie snickered as y/n hid her face behind her laptop to hide her embarrassment. Carmen turned around to see what was so funny but was just met with the view of both of them with their faces hiding behind their hands. 

Y/n felt someone pass behind her and knew it was Sydney without having to look up. “Hey guys, what are we making?” She took a bite out of the pasta, which was slightly cooled but she still nodded her head. 

“It’s fire, chef. It would be great if it was hot, I want to remake it to see what it was supposed to taste like.”

Y/n couldn’t say that she completely forgave Sydney but y/n did respect that she went to Richie to give some type of apology after a while. Y/n could accept that the two of them wouldn’t be best friends, they just needed to be able to work together. 

Y/n went to Carmen’s locker before pulling out a few Tums for everyone, it looks like today was going to be pasta day because of her and she didn’t want to send everyone home with a stomach ache.

Carmen continued with his pasta, and served it in front of y/n. All the women took a bite,

“It’s got a kick to it.” Natalie said while reaching for a food container filled with water while wiping sweat from her brow. Sydney gave Carmen a, “This is fire, chef.” Y/n couldn't help but cringe inwardly at the comment because she knew she couldn't quite match their shared vernacular and the ease with which they expressed themselves with food. What private passion did y/n and Carmen share?

Carmen stared y/n down as she took a bite.

“It’s good.” Carmen waited for her to elaborate. “It’s too subtle.” 

Carmen smirked, “Yeah, next time I'll just make you a ball of fire for you to enjoy.” Y/n gave him a shit eating grin, it was just too fun not to mess with him, and when she saw him smile back she felt a bit of imaginary nostalgia, this was what she longed for back in New York. 

The restaurant was still closed for renovations and after a while a few other crew members came by to do some demo. Y/n was stuck on hold with the inspector's office when she was approached by Natalie, “I’ve got a doctor’s appointment so I've got to go, I’ll see you on Friday at eight.” 

The rest of the week flew by because they were on a very strict time crunch to open in a few months. Y/n wasn’t very worried but she could feel the nerves from everyone else and she knew it would be in bad taste to tell them to toughen up, so she let them be grown ups and deal with their own anxieties. 

On Friday, y/n left early to get ready for dinner, she opened an old moving box and pulled out a dress that she wore to an old work function. It was very tasteful because it was freezing outside. Y/n grabbed her gifts before running into Carmen’s car. Y/n took one look at Carmen and had to do a double take to make sure that she went into the right person’s car. Carmen’s hair was lighty slicked back, probably with pomade, and he was wearing a deep blue sweater with a white collar. 

“I didn’t know you had clothes other than aprons and Dickies.”

“You look..” Carmen marveled at the way her eyes sparkled with an inner radiance, drawing him in like a moth to a flame. He knew he wasn’t able to get the full picture yet because they were in a dark car but he could only imagine what she would do to him when they went to the well lit house. “..great.” Carmen wanted to punch himself for being so unoriginal but he couldn’t focus on anything. 

“Thank you, you look good too. Blue is definitely your color..” Carmen’s fingers loosened around the steering wheel, compliments had always made him uneasy; he spent the majority of his life trying to make himself as small as possible and now he was pushed into the spotlight and he wondered if he even liked it?

“Carmen, can you look at me for a second?” And when he swiveled his head towards y/n, she squished his face lighty before giving his puckered lips a soft kiss. Just as she was about to lean back into her seat, Carmen, unable to resist, slipped his hand beneath her hair, grasping the back of her neck and drawing her in for a deeper, more passionate second kiss. 

Yeah, he liked it.

“We are going to be late.” Y/n whispered before giving him one last peck. Carmen, still in a daze, fiddled with the radio so he could get his head straight. The ride to his sister’s house was quiet barring the soft jazz. Y/n was very nervous, they never had that conversation that said that they were official and for all she knew she was just a friend that Carmen kissed from time to time. She resisted the urge to ask right now because she was scared to find out that they were nothing more. She would savor the few minutes before she was inevitably introduced as a friend, or worse a co-worker. 

They pulled into Natalie’s driveway and got out of the car, y/n grabbed the bouquet of flowers and a bottle of wine and they rang the doorbell. 

"Why are you holding the tray like that?" Y/n asked, noticing how Carmen clung to it like a shield. Before she could receive a response, Natalie opened the door with a warm greeting, inviting them inside. Y/n handed over the gifts, but Carmen still clung onto his belongings. Just then, Peter descended the stairs, seemingly about to approach Carmen for a hug before his gaze landed on Carmen's protective tray. He hesitated and stepped back, realizing it was acting as a barrier. Y/n stifled a laugh, biting her cheek to prevent herself from laughing at Carmen’s immaturity.

Carmen greeted, “Pete.” Y/n could feel the dislike and she felt bad for Pete because he seemed nice.

“Carmen, it’s good to see you, man.”

“This is my girlfriend, y/n.” A sense of numbness overwhelmed her. It was like when people get run over by a semi and say that they don’t feel anything. Y/n extended her hand to shake Pete's, and she followed him into the living room. 

Carmen went into the kitchen to help Natalie and y/n made pleasant conversation with Pete, he seemed a bit soft but she could understand why Natalie might want someone like him. Y/n pretended to be interested when he showed her his Cubs memorabilia, she initially thought the Cubs were a fictional sports team made by the New Girl writers. 

Y/n and Pete walked over to the kitchen and asked if they needed any help. Pete looked like he wanted to actually be helpful but y/n had her fingers crossed hoping she didn’t have to do any cooking. It was weird to see Carmen let someone else take the lead while he watched. Even with Sydney, he still watched over everything like a hawk, not because he didn’t trust her, it's just because he wouldn’t let her fail. 

Y/n watched as everyone spoke and she wondered where she fit in. Natalie and Carmen were obviously close and Pete was doing his best to get close to Carmen, trying to bridge the obvious gap between them. Y/n had to stop herself from telling Carmen to either be nicer or for Pete to drop it.

Other than being Carmen’s new “girlfriend” and sharing small talk, what else was there for her to talk about? Y/n didn’t know them well but she could tell there was a lot of subtext between the three of them that added weight to their interactions that she wasn’t privy to yet. She was a flame trying to suck in any bubble of oxygen so she could ignite, she needed more information before she could actually join them.

 It felt like she was reading Dune for the first time, being dropped in the middle of an already moving plot and she was scrambling to play catch up. Carmen had a lot of triggers and she wondered if Natalie was the same. Even if they acted completely differently, y/n could tell that they were sidestepping something, like they were avoiding talking about a gaping bullet wound, and if siblings were acting like that it means that it's a problem with the parents. Despite the fact that they were in the kitchen, the three of them weren’t talking about the food. Y/n made a mental checklist of a few rules; 1. Don’t bring up parents 2. Don't mention food because it's a trigger 3. Pay attention to Natalie because she was not as good at hiding her feelings as Carmen. 

Dinner was served and they all took a seat, y/n took slow sips of wine and saw that Natalie’s wine was slightly darker than hers. Y/n was sitting across Natalie so she recognized the smell too, apple. She was drinking sparkling apple cider. Y/n hid her smirk by talking another sip, she would be a spy or something because she was killing it in the recon department. 

Dinner was starting to feel stiff, y/n took a deep breath and turned to Natalie, “Your cooking is to die for.” Natalie tucked in her lips but couldn’t help but hide her smile, y/n never told Carmen anything like that, barring the first day she got to Chicago, it was a petty way of getting back at him for blindsiding her by calling her his girlfriend. 

“Thanks, It's a family recipe.” Y/n wanted to stab herself with the fork, she just broke rule one and two. Just as y/n was about to make some asinine comment to change topics, Carmen did it for her.

“Can you pass me the bread, Sugar?” Y/n found her opening.

“Sugar, that’s a nice nickname, what’s the story?” 

Natalie paused and y/n had a feeling she fucked up, “We were having this Chrismas family thing and I added a cup of sugar into the gravy instead of salt. The name just stuck.” Y/n definitely fucked up, she was breaking rules left and right. Y/n scrabbled to put herself in the same level as Natalie.

“I’ve been there. My parents were having a few co-worker over for lunch and they brought a box of these expensive mangos and I was told to make some smoothies because it was boiling that day. I filled up the sugar container with salt without noticing and made them smoothies with a ton of salt.” Y/n saw that all eyes were on her and she didn’t allow herself to be nervous because she was trying to get a deeper point across.

Y/n continued, “I have never heard that many people gag all at once.” Their faces broke into a smile.

“What did your mom say?” Bingo, looks like the taboo parent could be narrowed down to their mother. 

“She didn’t say anything bad, she and her co-workers just laughed. I mean I was a kid and we all make mistakes. I ended up making lemonade instead.”

Natalie’s eyes lit up,“It’s a shame that all those mangos went to waste.” Natalie joked. 

“Waste?” Y/n had a fake offense, “I drank the rest to prove that it wasn’t that bad.”

“Was it that bad?” Pete asked.

“My blood pressure was through the roof. It was the first time I ever got a headache.” 

The rest of dinner was a bit more relaxed, y/n was expecting Carmen to talk a bit more because these were his people but it looked like she would have to do the talking for the both of them. They finished up dinner and y/n got up to help them clean up. It was y/n and Carmen alone in the kitchen while Natalie went upstairs to check on something, aka she needed some rest and Pete went to check up on her. 

As Carmen washed the dishes, Y/n stood by, towel in hand, drying them. The domestic scene felt comfortable, yet she couldn't determine if she truly enjoyed this newfound domesticity. She wondered if in Carmen’s eyes she was merely playing the role of the perfect partner – someone who could effortlessly navigate his family dynamics, fix his business, and be his own manic pixie dream girl. 

A selfish thought crossed Y/n's mind. What was she truly gaining from this relationship? She had been too afraid to make a move with Carmen after the kiss, fearing that one misstep could lead her to being shut out completely. She hesitated to voice her preferences about his food, to ask about the nature of their relationship, or to discuss their future plans if this relationship fell through. Y/n wasn't one to dwell in discomfort, except for her previous job, and she felt frustrated that she had to jump through so many hoops just to ensure that Carmen wouldn't leave.

They finished the dishes and y/n could tell that Carmen wanted to check on Natalie but he didn’t want to leave y/n alone. Y/n being a supportive girlfriend, practically pushed him up the steps before walking out the front door and leaning on the porch. Y/n grabbed her jacket and walked out. She underestimated the frigid Chicago air which felt like a sharp slap to her face, serving as a wake-up call. It reminded her that the warm and fuzzy feeling she had been battling within herself was merely fleeting, and that the reality of the world could be much harsher and more painful. 

Y/n couldn’t help but wonder why Carmen was even bothering with her, they had nothing in common but the restaurant. Work was everything for him and Sydney, their shared connection always pulled them together despite both of their volatile personalities. What pulled y/n and Carmen together? They both worked in the restaurant but Carmen didn’t have a passion for running said restaurant, it was a mere obligation that y/n took from him. If she stopped working there, what else did they have in common? 

Y/n came to the daunting realization that Carmen picked Sydney because he saw potential in her, a chance to let both him and her grow. However, he didn’t pick y/n because he saw something deeper in her, it was an act of embarrassed desperation. 

Was she just a means to help Carmen get his shit together? The restaurant meant a lot to Micheal and after he died Carmen stopped seeing the restaurant as something that was out of his reach but as something to connect him to his brother, a small thread connecting the estranged brothers. Y/n was there to hold up the connection in the vaguest of ways, she kept the restaurant afloat so Carmen could come to terms with Micheals’s legacy, good and bad.

She was lost in thought when she heard the door close, she turned her head to see Carmen was already lighting a cigarette. It was difficult for her to be objective when Carmen locked eyes with her with such intensity. Y/n ripped her eyes from him and faced forward looking at the neighbor's yard, they had nice shrubs. 

“I thought you left.” Carmen started as he leaned on the railing with y/n. He looked forward to see what was so interesting that y/n couldn’t look him in the face, it was just some trees.

“I needed some air.”

“You could catch a cold.” 

“I don’t get sick, sick is a mindset.” Y/n was obviously joking. 

She lowered her head so that she could feel the cold metal on her forehead, maybe a different type of pain would make this conversation easier. Her forehead landed on something warm, the back of Carmen’s hand. She turned her head to its side but remained connected to Carmen’s hand. The warmth radiating on her cheek was making her stomach do backflips. Even if she knew she shouldn’t be indulging like this she couldn’t help it. He felt too good and y/n was getting more and more greedy. 

“Hey, Carmen?” Carmen was still staring at y/n. “What do we have in common?” He looked taken aback.

“We like each other…” He was starting to feel the slow slitter of nausea because he knew the other shoe was about to drop.

“If we don’t have much in common, what do we talk about?” 

“We can talk about whatever we like. It’s nice to…be with someone who isn't wrapped up in the same things as me.” Carmen expressed a genuine warmth in his voice. Carmen wanted to say that she made him feel like the roof wasn’t going to collapse on him and that the small things weren’t going to destroy him but it felt selfish to describe how much he cared for her based on how she made him feel and not on facts about her. 

“I don’t care about fancy food.” Y/n blurted out.

Carmen chuckled, “You know about the vendors, where the supplies are sourced, how much they cost, and a bunch of other stuff. You do care, just in a different way than I do.”

“Is that a good thing?”

“It gives me perspective. It’s very realistic and grounded.” Y/n knew he was calling her realistic and grounded. 

“I like hearing you talk about my food.” Carmen offered.

“Even if it’s just “good”?”

“Especially if it's just "good". That means you're telling me the truth.” Carmen recalled a ninth grade world history lesson about the Rosetta Stone, an artifact written in three different languages and made it possible to translate some ancient language. Though he hadn't fully paid attention during the lesson, Carmen now saw the parallel. If Y/n had the courage to express her opinions on his food, it meant she was being honest with him about everything else. 

Y/n cracked a smile before covering her mouth and started laughing. It was a jarring sound, Carmen couldn’t pinpoint what the laugh was meant to convey but he knew it wasn’t good. 

“What?” Carmen asked, Y/n rubbed her face with her cold hands. 

“You said that you were scared of me a while back but now…” Y/n's laughter softened into a smaller chuckle, conveying a mix of amusement and irony.

“I’m scared of you.” The weight was lifted off her shoulders and slammed down on Carmen's. Y/n wondered if this is how the rest of their relationship was going to be; one person transferring their hurt to the other till the weight became too much to bear. 

"It's... I want to bring so many things up to you but..." Y/n wondered if this counted as an accusation. "..you’re so flighty. I don't know what to say that won't make you..." Y/n struggled to find a word that didn't feel so definitive, but the only word that felt honest was, "...leave."

The porch fell into an uneasy silence, both of them grappling with the weight of Y/n's vulnerability.

"I...I didn't realize..." Carmen stammered, his voice betraying his inner turmoil. "I would never just... leave." They both stared in silence, they knew that wasn’t true. Y/n lifted her head leaving the warmth behind, she knew this wouldn’t work if he made false promises. And against everything telling her to just accept his promise as law and ignore any doubts, she couldn’t fool herself like that. 

“That’s such bullshit.” Y/n lighty giggled. It felt as though a shark had promised to stop swimming—it was ingrained in their nature. In that lighthearted moment, a mischievous thought crossed Y/n's mind: What would happen if Carmen actually stopped running away? Would he cease to exist, like a fish in space? 

Her playful musings, though immature, offered a brief respite from the weight of their conversation. It was a temporary escape, a way to diffuse the tension. Y/n noticed that she brought all this shit up to comfort herself but she was giggling to make him feel safe. Even when she knew she shouldn’t, she couldn't help but try to make him feel better. 

As the laughter subsided, Y/n met Carmen's eyes, she forced herself to ignore the emotions he was conveying and instead tried to match his eyes with things she had seen in the past. If this ended poorly, she would miss his eyes the most and she wanted to know what else could match in intensity in case she never got to see him like this ever again, nothing came to mind.

Carmen felt like he was backed into a corner, he couldn’t promise her anything without her, justifiably, doubting him. 

"I don't want to leave you," Carmen offered, his voice carrying a mixture of sincerity and vulnerability. It was the most honest response he could offer at that moment. He couldn't guarantee that he wouldn't feel the urge to run, to escape when things got tough, but he had a genuine desire to stay. 

Y/n's eyes met Carmen's, her expression softened. She knew it wasn't a perfect answer, but it was a step forward. It was enough to know that he acknowledged his own complexities and still chose to be present with her.

They stood in the quiet watching neighbors turn off their living room lights and go upstairs. She wanted to test out whether, “They could talk about whatever they wanted too.” 

“What do you think they’re doing?” Y/n asked, Carmen parted his lips and turned his face to look at y/n so see if she was serious, she was.

“I think they go to bed and she has this super long night time routine and he is already asleep by the time she gets to bed. You?” Y/n knew that if they ever slept over at each other’s place, that’s exactly what would happen between them. 

“She probably got home from a shit day and she starts reading an easy romance book…Do you read any books?”

“They are mostly cooking stuff.” He took a drag from his cigarette.

“You read cookbooks for entertainment?”

“Sometimes, it's a part of the craft.” Carmen realized how fucking pretentious he sounded and was a bit ashamed but seeing y/n refrain from teasing him by bitting her lips made him not want to crawl into a hole and die of shame, her smile was addicting. “…but there is a lot of history and science too. '' Carmen knew he sucked at conversation but he would do anything to keep talking. 

“What was your last book?” 

Y/n and Carmen kept talking till they lost track of time and eventually when they had reached a comfortable lull, y/n could confidently say that they were in fact capable of holding a conversation about mundane shit. 

Against every fiber of her being telling her to end their conversation like this, she couldn’t help but ask, “What happens…if this ends?” Y/n didn’t know if she was supposed to use “if” or “when”; one was cautious, the other was a prophecy. 

Carmen didn’t look back at her, instead giving her, “You’ll still have a job…I’m not a dick…all the time.” Y/n lips curved upwards. 

“Will you be able to work with someone you’ve been in a relationship with?” 

“Yes.” Carmen wondered if the answer could ever be anything other than yes. 

Y/n knew that if this ended badly she would be allowed to stick around so that Carmen would have an excuse to throw himself at his work. She would be the catalyst to merge him from an individual to a vague reflection of Micheal’s legacy. 

Whether or not Carmen knew it, Micheal was a huge influence in his life and just like Micheal began to isolate himself towards the end, Carmen would do the same if they drifted apart. It was his inherent weakness and a relationship gone sour that would make it difficult for him to break the cycle that Micheal had started. 

“I won’t stay if it hurts you, Carmen.”

“I would want you to stay, y/n.”

“There is no trophy that comes with going through unnecessary shit.”

“I know, I would still need you.” Carmen hesitated but eventually placed his hand top on y/n's. 

“Because I can do the books?” Y/n rolled her eyes jokingly. 

“No…you do more than that. You are…” Carmen read books with a shit ton of adjectives, they had to be descriptive to describe food through text. Despite that, he was at a loss for words to describe her.

"You are..." he began again, this time his voice was a little gentler than before. He took a deep breath, hoping that he could find those words that would express everything he felt.

"You are very important to me,". His voice was soft like he was realizing this for the first time. 

The second time was meant for y/n, "You are very important to me."  I love you, y/n. 

Y/n locked eyes with Carmen for a moment. 

"You are important to me too." I love you, Carmen.

Neither of them had the courage to say that to each other, wondering if they were the only one’s feeling like this. 

They both had jackets on but y/n’s hands were freezing and she could feel Carmen’s hand was also ice cold. She knew that they had both reached their limits but y/n couldn’t help but relish in the cold for a bit longer. 

For y/n, the biting cold was always a catalyst for clarity, stripping away the unnecessary and forcing y/n to distill her focus onto the few things that mattered. Amidst the frost, she found solace in the simplicity. It was within this chilling environment that she discovered a clear chance to confront her inner turmoil head-on and confront the world. 

Carmen had always been drawn to the intense heat. It was as if the scorching temperatures matched the fire that burned within him, igniting his passion and driving him forward but leaving him with nothing to look back on. Extreme heat was his poison of choice, his way of confronting the world. 

Carmen’s heat was turning her mind into a messy slurry of slush. Y/n had to force herself to focus despite the fact that Carmen’s hand was providing her with a sliver of intoxicating  warmth.

“You didn’t ask me to be your girlfriend.” Carmen’s head shot up aback by y/n's words. He was excited to introduce her to his family, and he hadn't thought to ask her permission first. He tried to explain himself, his words coming out in a rush.

"I didn't mean to assume anything. I just thought that since we've been seeing each other for a while now, it was... " He took a moment to catch his breath, trying to gather his thoughts.

“I think you should try asking first.” Carmen stared at y/n not knowing if this was a trap to get rejected twice. He opted for silence.

“Carmen, ask me if I want to be your girlfriend?” Carmen didn't want to say the wrong thing, not when it was so important, for someone so important. Carmen trusted y/n so he stubbed his cigarette on the ashtray before taking a deep breath and asking, “Will you be my girlfriend, y/n.” 

Y/n wrapped her freezing hands around his neck accidentally grazing her finger on his neck making him shiver. She leaned in against his lip and even though they had kissed before this, Carmen felt like he couldn’t think. Y/n lips barely touching Carmen’s before whispering a soft, “Yes, Carmy.” 

Carmen closed the small gap between their lips. And y/n felt a gentle heat seep through the folds of her head making it difficult to focus on her freezing fingers, or her numb toes, or her goosebump riddled legs, or her shivering arms. Y/n felt Carmen pull her closer and even though they were as close as physically possible, it wasn’t enough. Carmen’s lips left y/n’s before trailing down the column of her neck, y/n could feel the blossoming of heat radiate from his lips. Y/n’s hands sank down to Carmen’s waist and slowly drifted up his shirt. The cold sent shivers down his spine as y/n’s hands moved at a glacial pace. 

Just as Carmen reached the collar of her jacket he looked up at her and y/n had to resist every irrational and reckless part of her that told her to continue. The realization that they were on Carmen’s sister’s porch made y/n look around to ground herself. She landed on a black box right near the door before looking back to Carmen with her mouth agape and her eyes wide open. 

“What?” Carmen questioned with furrowed eyebrows.

“We are on your sister's porch.” Y/n said with a thousand yard stare and a distant mutter.

“I’m not a fucking animal, obviously we aren’t going to do this here.” Y/n softly grasped Carmen’s face before turning towards the black box, a doorbell camera. 

“Jesus…fuck.” They both looked at each other before y/n scrambled inside with Carmen right behind her. Either they were caught and they had to face Natalie despite the embarrassment or they got to the footage before Natalie saw it.  

Y/n let Carmen lead her to Natalie’s room, who thankfully was still laying on her side, Pete had gone to the restroom. 

Y/n leaned up to Carmen before whispering, “Distract her.” Carmen sat near Natalie and asked her if she wanted some ginger-ale or if he should stop by a pharmacy. 

Natalie's phone was on the nightstand and y/n swiped it when Natalie wasn’t looking before unlocking her phone with the password she acquired from being noisy. She then deleted the footage of the last hour from her Ring app. Y/n wanted to scroll back a few months to watch Carmen call her for the first time but she didn’t have enough time. 

Y/n set the phone exactly how she found it and gave Carmen a subtle thumbs up. 

“I’m fine, I think I need to sleep this off.” Natalie sat up while glancing at y/n and y/n had to resist freezing like a criminal caught in the spotlight. 

“I’m really sorry-” Natalie started.

“Please don’t be. I had a great time. Is there anything we can do for you before we leave?” Y/n felt bad for taking advantage of Natalie’s pregnancy induced sickness but this was a matter of prestige, she wouldn’t be able to set foot in this house if Natalie ever saw the footage.  

Natalie shook her head no and they said their goodbye’s before Camren and y/n practically tripped over themselves running out of that house. They sprinted to the car and slammed the doors shut before bursting out laughing. Y/n felt like she was a teenager again, sneaking her boyfriend out the fire escape before her mom walked in. Carmen pushed his forehead into the steering wheel to laugh and the sound that echoed felt like it was melting itself into y/n’s brain, forever branded into her memory. 

“How many times have you been here, Carmen? You never noticed the fucking camera, you dick?” Y/n struggled to shake off the heat that pulsed up her body, Camren hadn’t even started the car yet and she was burning up. 

“I…I never looked, what kind of freak looks?”Carmen said in between laughs. Y/n gave him a fake look of disapproval.

“Turn the car on, Berzatto, you’re getting on my fucking nerves.”

Carmen turned on his car before pulling out of Natalie’s driveway, he was still snickering and in the streetlight y/n could see his neck turn bright red. 

“Stop by a CVS or something.” Y/n said while fiddling with the radio.

“You think you caught something from Nat.” Y/n resisted telling him that pregnancy wasn’t contagious, men are so fucking stupid. 

“You have condoms on you?” Carmen slammed on the break, lucky they were at a red light.

“N...no.” Scarlet crawled up his neck and up his face. Y/n didn’t know someone’s ears could ever get that red before. Carmen stayed still trying to collect his fractured thoughts. 

“It's green, Carmen.”

He stepped on the gas and y/n was glad that the roads were practically empty because he was driving like he had all the insurance in the world. He pulled over to a Walgreens and ran out of the car. Y/n shook her head at his shit parking, he was in between two spots. Carmen came back in a minute with a plastic bag, y/n could decipher from the shapes that he had also bought some gatorades too. 

Carmen pulled out of the parking lot.

Y/n didn’t recognize the streets on their ride back, “Your place?” 

“Mine is closer.” Carmen replied, his voice tinged with a mix of anticipation.

Y/n could help but giggle, she always loved it when he was desperate. She knew it was wrong, but she always felt such a rush of excitement when her control over him was at its pinnacle and they both knew it.

When they reached a stop sign, y/n glanced over at Camren and saw that he was already looking back at her. 

They couldn’t seem to care that they were wading in uncharted waters and they couldn’t convince themselves that this was going to end badly enough for them to not at least try. If they looked at each other like that, there was no way they were going to let each other go. 

__

End Notes:

Fire + Ice = Vapor; It took me an embarrassing amount of time to think of that.

There is a lot of tension and maturity that needs to be written in smut for it to be good and I just can’t do that. I tried for this one and I had to close my laptop and take a lap because the second hand embarrassment was too much. So those drafts have been deleted and I’m glad I never have to see them again. 

I didn't think people would like Turbulence, I was going to delete it after a few hours and just keep it to myself but i'm glad that people liked it so ig it's here to stay. I tried to keep this one more contained then Turbulence bc writing about multiple days is such a pain.

I really don’t know what else I might write about for these two, or in general, so if you have any suggestions feel free to send them to me. If your suggestion inspires me, you better believe that I'm going to get out of bed at 2 in the morning and start writing. Or we can bury these two in a shallow grave and forget they exist, which is also fine by me because I think fic aged me.

[some1s-sista]

5fF

Y’all! Sixx was just notified she scored a $10,000 scholarship!!! Holy shit! It’s a tuff one too, both of her older sisters applied when they were seniors and they were passed over. Now we just have to hope her school doesn’t deduct it from the financial aid package they told her they were giving her. They gave her some scholarships and then were directing her towards 2 student loans for the remaining $5500. We’re hoping to at least get her through her freshmen year without having to take out loans. So this would leave us covering $3000 (they divide the 10k over the four years). It sucks to think we have to scramble like this to send this one to school because my cancer treatments took my life savings plus some. She’s got 2 interviews next week for a couple more scholarships, so we will be accepting all thoughts, prayers, and good juju! Whatever you can spare.

I’ve been hosting my first guests of the season in the Airbnb this week. A guy and his father out here fishing on the lake. The nicest guys! So far everything’s gone well. They check out tomorrow. He mentioned coming back 2 or 3 more times this summer/fall. I’ll have a repeat customer, y’all! (And some spare $ to pay my bills and put aside for Sixx for spending money during the semester.)

Yes, Sixx is also going to get a summer job for spending cash so she doesn’t have to work during school. Like her brother, she is on the spectrum, is easily overwhelmed, so trying to attend to her studies and hold down a job just isn’t feasible. I know she’ll be ok being away from home, she did great at Governor’s school last summer. I just hope she can handle the pressure of college and everything it entails. Yeah, worried Mom here.

Hubs was going to take me to an expensive restaurant for dinner tomorrow night. I’d wanted all of us to go to brunch Sunday, but he took too long to get a Mother’s Day rez, so he set up a dinner instead. Asked him today if he’d mind cancelling. Save that for something like our anniversary. I’m perfectly happy picking up another rose bush for the garden and maybe a blizzard! Lol. He was good with that. So ice cream with the kids it is! I’m easy.

Hmmm. 5. Oh! The porch ladies (our outdoor ferals) killed a damn Robin this morning. Left it on the path for me. I guess that’s their Mother’s Day offering for me! There’s feathers all over my porch. :(

[musingsfromanautisticmind]

Good morning world ❤️

Early morning post to thank everyone who enjoyed my slightly manic, but sincere posts yesterday.

And i want to say a big thank you to all the rightwing Nazis and Haters for their lovely messages too.

Just a thought for those with their heads firmly inserted up President trumps arsehole.

Over here in the UK we have free healthcare. Pretty much everyone has in the developed world.

Here employees pay 5% of their gross wage up to a limit. The employer slightly more around 6% the exact figures evade me at the moment. They can easily be found online.

For this deduction we receive;

Child benefit, a small weekly payment to new parents to help out a little with the costs.

State pension. Basic state pension is around 10k pounds per year. That’s currently just short of 14k dollars. Poorer pensioners get additional money.

All of the sick, unemployment benefits. Maternity benefit for 6 months. Paternity benefit. Yes dads can have time off from work for a new baby.

Disability benefits, even a car if you are completely disabled. The car can have adaptations installed too, free of charge.

And heres the biggy, Free healthcare. Meds free till 18 years old, longer if still in education. Free again after 60 years of age. Free at any age for long term health conditions, diabetes etc. when you do have to pay the maximum cost per item is capped at around 10 pounds. However if you have a lot of meds you can buy an annual subscription which reduces the cost vastly.

Heart surgery, no problem, NO COST.

Cancer treatment, no problem, NO COST.

Brain tumour, no problem, NO COST.

Are you beginning to see a pattern here!?

If you are all so patriotic, doesn’t that mean you love your country. Isnt a country really its citizens?

So my lovely HATERS from over the water. What you are actually saying is that you’re unwilling to sacrifice a few % of your pay, and businesses a few % of your turnover in order to provide a basic safety net for your fellow citizens. A SAFETY NET THAT PROTECTS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY TOO.

I see your rightwing propaganda all the time about Britain’s failing healthcare system. Yep, may not be the best in the world but it’s not too shabby either, we have 3 brand new hospitals with 5 miles of my home.

But USA, whats the point of having great world leading healthcare facilities if they are inaccessible to the MAJORITY of your citizens. Or if its going to bankrupt entire families who will loose their homes?

Im afraid you have been brainwashed by your rightwing politicians who are entirely owned by the big corporations who are jumping up and down with glee every time someone is charged 750 dollars a month for their diabetes meds.

Wake up you pathetic right wing arseholes. You are being scammed, day in day out, by the corporations who really run your country. And you mugs buy it because trump is making America great again.

No, trump is lining the pockets of his family for generations to come, as are all his billionaire buddys.

Dont like the truth, feel entirely free to block me.

Now that rant is over,

Peace and love to every right minded person in this world ❤️

Have a great day 😊

[paper-mario-wiki]

may i ask why you want to move to japan specifically? wouldn't you be able to find a place to live in america?

tbh the differences in quality of life between countries are so stark that i can give 1 reason at a time and you'd understand why any of them individually would make me want to move.

here's 1 reason: insurance.

in the united states, i pay $450 a month for private health insurance. with that health insurance, i have a yearly deductible, which means that on top of the $5k+ a year I have to pay monthly just to HAVE the insurance, I also have several thousand in medical bills that I've got to pay out of pocket before my insurance begins covering things proper. and after i spend almost $10,000 to actually have my insurance start kicking in (which i have to meet every year, meaning in January I have to start paying the 10k all over again), i also have to pay coinsurance (the percentage of my healthcare that my insurance DOESNT cover), which is a different percentage and base rate based on what specific healthcare service I'm getting. even then, healthcare in the USA is significantly more expensive on a foundational level without insurance than most other countries.

in japan, the amount I could have been paying monthly for the government subsidized National Health Insurance was $5 because I was a student, but I didnt know how to apply for that so I paid the general price of $70 monthly. after that, starting immediately after you begin payment, the national health insurance covers 70%-90% of healthcare costs depending on tax bracket (higher coverage for those earning less). Japanese insurance ALSO has a deductible, which resets monthly instead of yearly, starting at around $150. if the amount that you pay out of pocket exceeds your monthly deductible and you still need healthcare services, you can apply for a reimbursement on all medical expenses for the rest of the month.

that is 1 reason i want to move away from the united states and back to japan.

[swissmissficrecs]

Johnlock fics I read in 2023

This is everything I read in the Sherlock Holmes fandom last year that made it into my bookmarks. So while I may not have read enough to make a selected "best of" list, consider these the ones that made it past all my internal selection criteria and are deserving of a spotlight. A few of these were completed prior to 2023.

A Case of You by Silvergirl (17K, M, Johnlock, Sherlock/OMC) Sherlock is marrying an American, and at the rehearsal dinner, best man John makes a drunken love confession he doesn’t remember the next day. Badly hungover, John can't find anyone to tell him what the hell happened to the wedding, where the grooms are, or how he can put it right so that Sherlock can be happy. But what if he's dead wrong about what will make Sherlock happy?

A Midnight Clear by khorazir (16K, T, Johnlock) It’s Christmas Eve, and Sherlock is working. Because that’s what he does. He doesn’t need Christmas, or holiday cheer, or even company. He’s fine on his own, thank you very much – until a series of strange encounters on his way back to Baker Street makes him reconsider.

A Story That Is Almost, But Not Quite, Entirely Unlike Blue Carbuncle by Iwantthatcoat (16K, M, Johnlock) It’s the most wonderful time of the year, and the Holmes Family is all set to have one of those unimaginable Christmas dinners— but the game is afoot, as Mummy’s friend is caught up in a Christmas mystery.

An Elegant Solution by ArwaMachine (19K, E, Johnlock) Sherlock finds himself unspeakably aroused by the idea of John with another man. Problem is, the only man Sherlock will permit be with John is Sherlock himself. Seems like an unsolvable problem. ... or is it?

An Ocean Away by westernredcedar (14K, T, Johnlock) Sherlock Holmes has been gone for twenty long years, time enough for John Watson's daughter to make it all the way to Harvard University.

Avast Ye Merry Gentlemen by StellaCartography (10K, E, Johnlock) Sherlock is not a Christmas person. John decides it's Christmas that needs changing.

Bright Blue Ink by 13_33 (13K, G, Johnlock, Warstan) When one of my patients asks me about my relationship with Sherlock Holmes, the great detective, I answer this: I am his chronicler, his assistant in solving crimes, his confidant and friend. Of course, all these terms hold true, now as then, at the beginning of our shared history. But just as in a family portrait you can only see the put-on smiles and never the real faces of the people, they were only part of what made up my true relationship with Holmes. I know him, I then add; I know him well. [ACD]

Deductive Reasoning by cormorant (8K, T, Johnlock) John finds out that Sherlock has assumed for a while that their relationship was romantic, and feels like maybe he should have been notified about that.

Doting Husbands by Calais_Reno (16K, M, Johnlock) Sherlock takes on a new hobby: writing a story. If only something would happen! Takes place a year after the ending of Wooing Sherlock Holmes. He and John have been married for a year, still retired, living in Sussex.

Full Mount by ArwaMachine (54K, E, Johnlock) After Sherlock unceremoniously returns from the dead, John finds himself inexplicably angry all the time. So he does what any emotionally-constipated British man does: he joins a Mixed Martial Arts gym. As John throws himself into the sport and joins in on underground no-holds-barred brawls, situations arise that just might force John to face what is really going on underneath all the rage.

Indefinite Lines by ArwaMachine (298K, E, Johnlock) When two lines, inclined towards each other, are extended indefinitely, it is inevitable that they meet. Upon meeting, the lines become something new. Together. Perhaps it’s been like that from the beginning for Sherlock and John—their lives weaving together, inclined towards one another, moving closer and closer to something greater than themselves.

Live from the Morgue by disfictional (8K, E, Johnlock) Molly interviews Sherlock on her podcast, Live from the Morgue. John listens.

Lost In A Good Book by khorazir (68K, M, Johnlock) After chasing a criminal into a poky second-hand bookshop, John and Sherlock find themselves not only stuck in the building, but in L-space itself. With things still raw and unsettled between them after the events surrounding the Culverton Smith case, this adds another dimension to their predicament, which not only consists of finding a way out of the shop (while avoiding getting murdered by the criminal), but also to finally address the issues between them.

Nightjet by khorazir (22K, M, Johnlock) Officially deceased for eighteen months and still looking for the last remainders of Moriarty’s criminal empire, an exhausted Sherlock boards a night train in Germany to bring him to his next hunting ground. Due to a mishap with the sleeper cars, he is forced to share a compartment with a stranger – who turns out to be not quite as strange as Sherlock thought. The universe isn’t lazy, after all …

Nothing to Celebrate by DiscordantWords (30K, M, Johnlock, Warstan) Sherlock Holmes is back from the dead. Things only get worse from there.

Our Ghosts And This by LipstickDaddy (12K, T, Johnlock) An epilogue in three acts.

Primavera by Berty (9K, T, Johnlock) Italy in the springtime is as romantic as it gets but is it enough to free unspoken words and feelings after years of silence?

Salut d'Amour by ecoutes (11K, G, Johnlock) Despite Holmes claiming that my narrations of our cases were tainted with sentimentality, his preferences in music, I learned, were awfully romantic. [ACD]

Spare Parts by Raina_at (63K, E, Johnlock) Two years ago, Sherlock Holmes jumped off the roof of New London Hospital. Two months ago, he walked into John's clinic as if no time had passed at all. John hasn't seen him since. But then Sherlock knocks on John's door with a case he can't say no to, and while figuring out why the biggest manufacturer or synthetic limbs in the System is going after veterans, they also need to find out whether there's a way to fix what's broken between them.

stirringofbirds between my arms by NotusLethe (18K, E, Johnlock, Enola/Tewksbury) Over the years, John Watson gets to know his new flatmate, Sherlock Holmes, and the man's clever ward. [Enola Holmes]

Stretch by illwick (13K, E, Johnlock) Sometimes the lines get blurry. [Part 35 of a BDSM established relationship series]

The Adventure of The Reluctant Docent by mydogwatson (23K, T, Johnlock) Someone is killing the docents of London. Sherlock is on the case when he meets a very interesting docent.

The Case of the Freudian Dick Pic Slip by expoduck (11K, E, Johnlock) John accidentally sends Sherlock a dick pic he'd intended for another man.

The Mystery of the Missing Metallurgist by rudbeckia (14K, M, Johnlock) A young wife engages Holmes to find her missing husband. Lestrade thinks the man has absconded to America, but Holmes rises to the challenge of Proving Lestrade Wrong. The case turns out to be far more complex and dangerous than they first thought, and Holmes sends Watson to secure Lestrade’s help in bringing a criminal gang to justice. When Holmes gets injured, Watson realises where his heart lies and a little lighthearted banter leads to a tentative confession. [ACD]

The Silence Between the Notes by J_Baillier (44K, M, Johnlock, Viclock) Lieutenant John Watson's days in London are painted in shades of grey after losing both his military career and his family. Could an unexpected request to travel to Vienna to track down the errant son of a wealthy family break the monotony?

The Wizard of Baker Street by Calais_Reno (23K, T, Johnlock) In which Sherlock is a wizard under a curse and John spends a lot of time as a cat.

‘tis the damn season by chrysanthemumsies (22K, E, Johnlock) Sherlock and John travel to Edinburgh to catch a homophobic serial killer in time for Christmas. They figure out how to use their words, more or less.

Trapezoid by SilentAuror (27K, E, Johnlock, OMC/ OMC) Corey Graham invites John and Sherlock to visit L.A. to consult on a project… at least, officially.

Yorkshire by lurikko (8K, E, Johnlock) They're in Yorkshire, in a house in the moors, for a case, only Sherlock keeps touching John. [Omegaverse]

[dalniente]

May I just say, as we head into another tax season here in the United States...this is an absolutely fascinating time for me, personally. I left public accounting and tax preparation in early 2018, just before Trump's Tax Cuts and Jobs Act of 2017 ("the TCJA") went into effect. I returned to public accounting a couple years ago, a little while after he left office. Several times in the last couple tax seasons, I marveled to my coworkers about the amount of tax due on the returns I was sending upstairs. It has been fucking buckwild. I do taxes for small businesses and the owners of these businesses ("small" being anywhere from 2,000 to 2,000,000 per year in revenue - this may sound like a lot to you, but after expenses, even the 2MM revenue businesses' owners end up solidly upper middle class), and before I left this firm, many of my clients paid less than a thousand dollars on their returns. Most paid less than seven thousand. When I returned to this job, I think the number at the bottom of the first return I completed was eighteen thousand dollars - I remember because I was shocked and spent an hour and a half checking my work.

I am making this post because I just finished a return with only $400 due, and when I looked at it, I thought, Finally! A normal tax bill! ...And then I had to sit for a moment in horror.

Similarly interesting is the way the attitudes of my superiors have changed. I was laid off from this firm in early 2018, I departed on good terms, and I have been very happy to return. Coworkers and firm owners who previously spoke with interest or even excitement about Trump's policies now speak with thinly-veiled scorn. There is an abundance of eye-rolling and lip-curling when discussing TCJA extensions. The SALT limitations. The Sec. 754 amortization requirements. It is fascinating.

I can't point to any single thing in particular except the SALT cap (State And Local Taxes - if you could itemize your deductions, these used to be fully deductible. Now, there's a 10K limit. This is mostly stuff like property taxes and estimated taxes) for why these peoples' tax bills have increased this way. But it is ABUNDANTLY clear: middle-income taxpayers are absolutely funding the cuts everywhere else.

[mona-risms]

My student finance just got deducted 😄 bc they overpaid me by 2k last year 😄 and my original 10k is now affected 😄

[copperbadge]

Radio Free Monday

Good morning everyone, and welcome to Radio Free Monday!

A note before we begin -- normally I don't do this (as you all know) but I happened to see a comment on one of the RFM posts this week by someone offering help in their crowdfunding campaign, and it reeks so strongly of the worst kind of predator that I wanted to get the word out -- kendrajanesblog is apparently running around fundraising posts offering to help, but the only post on their own blog is an offer to build an email campaign on kickstarter for $20. I don't think this is reportable but it is absolutely appalling, so I suggest blocking this person and passing the word if you see them commenting on a fundraising post. I'm hoping this is not a new trend but given the last spam trend on Tumblr was people sending asks about fake fundraisers, I can't be sure this isn't the next wave.

Ways to Give:

Anon linked to a fundraiser for Jack "Rocky" Payne and his wife Cloie, who are trying to offset the cost of his care for ALS, including medical bills, equipment, and accessible renovations to their home. He is no longer able to work due to the disease, and she has had to take leave in order to care for him full-time, which has obviously left them struggling financially. You can read more and give to the fundraiser here.

kitsumo linked to a fundraiser for his family, a single autistic mother with five neurodivergent kids, which has recently become homeless in California and need funds for necessities like food, covering phone bills, and shelter. You can read more and reblog here or give directly here.

grindthebones linked to a fundraiser for Kelsey and her dog Annie; Kelsey is a young disabled woman who isn't on social security yet, and her family recently stopped paying her rent and will not allow her back in the home; they're trying to prevent homelessness while she finds housing and aid. You can read more and support the fundraiser here.

gorkhandsmcschmuck is raising funds to cover an overdraft; due to some banking nonsense around Memorial Day he ended up with a negative balance, and needs to raise $50 to cover it, hoping to raise $100 to help with food until the first paycheck comes in. You can read more and reblog here or give directly via paypal here.

wolfsbanesparks linked to a fundraiser for friends who just lost their house in a flood, including almost all of their possessions; their insurance is balking at covering anything, so they're having to pay for repairs out of pocket. You can read more and support the fundraiser here.

News To Know:

blackestglass is running the fourth annual Chromatic Characters Podfic Anthology, which collects podfics of stories of less than 1500 words and center characters of color. This year's optional theme is "solidarity" and the due date for submissions is September 12th; this is a final call for volunteers of color who would like to lend their services as contextual content betas (formerly known as cultural sensitivity listeners) which is their biggest need at this point. You can read more and comment here to volunteer or ask a question, DM the mods on twitter at ccpamods, or email ccpamods at gmail.com.

Recurring Needs:

Anon linked to a fundraiser for dee-the-red-witch, a trans woman who needs to raise $10K to keep her home. You can read more, reblog, and find giving information here, give via paypal here, or purchase her leatherwork here.

frenchroasted's cousin, who has been fundraising for a used wheelchair-accessible van after herniating her back lifting her stepson's wheelchair and had to have surgery for it, has partnered with MyDMDHero which is now hosting their fundraiser on GiveButter so that their donations are tax-deductible. You can read more and support the fundraiser, formerly at GoFundMe, here. (Also to Frenchroasted -- got your request, can do.)

alirhi linked to a fundraiser to get herself, her mother, and her sister stable housing; they are currently staying in their cars in a a dangerous parking lot. They have a friend who will let them park a camper in her yard, but the camper there currently is unlivable, and they haven't been able to find an affordable replacement. With two of the family on disability it is difficult for them to keep up with bills and also save for housing. You can read more, reblog, and find giving information here including a few new ways to give.

And this has been Radio Free Monday! Thank you for your time. You can post items for my attention at the Radio Free Monday submissions form. If you're new to fundraising, you may want to check out my guide to fundraising here.

[liri-sims]

The second Ardeat household, Osanyin and Hestia, is next up, and not just because I did the magazine previews there. Also because Hestia is really itching to get some extramarital woohoo. And because Hestia is the only sim in the household who doesn't flood the bathroom when she showers, I want to give her nice things, like Toutatis.

I'd been thinking that the family's servant, Toutatis, was a romance sim too, but he's actually pleasure, which means he wants dates more than he wants woohoo - and dates are risky because Osanyin is working is Oceanography and comes home from work at 2 pm.

So Toutatis tried dating somebody else.

Berengaria is the neighborhood's delivery lady, and she and Toutatis really hit it off. So much so that he rolled an engagement want. So he's buying his freedom (I'm deducting 10k from their starter-house funds) and moving out to marry her.

Crispinus, Osanyin's son with Demeter, ages up to teen. I think he ended up fortune? Maybe popularity? He also managed to reconnect with Demeter during the party, so that was nice. He's into girls and there are very few girls in his cohort for him to be into, so no developments on that front yet.

Hestia and Olokun turned out to be a bit of a challenge - Hestia seemed to consider Olokun, her sister-in-law, to be family, but Olokun didn't - but two horny romance sims will find a way.

[wizardingworldlibrary]

Sybill Trelawney (2) Masterlist

part one

A greater woman has faith (ao3) - sugarsnappeas lily/sybill T, 3k

Summary: “Do you think this is my punishment?” Lily asks, pulling back a little to speak. Sybill realises that she’s crying, tears staining her cheeks. “The prophecy, I mean, and this, and the baby, and everything. Do you think it’s some kind of cosmic retribution - a curse maybe?”

Mind still reeling from the kiss, from the conversation, hands still in Lily’s hair, Sybill frowns, “Punishment for what?”

Lily laughs, or makes a noise that could be considered a laugh; it’s weak and anguished like she’s in mourning. Maybe she’s mourning Sybill, maybe this meeting is meant as a burial rather than a revival, maybe she’s mourning herself, as if she might as well already be dead, maybe she’s always already been dead.

*****

they're exes. they're miserable. things ensue.

Astrologically Compatible (ao3) - theloveinterest peter/sybill G, 899

Summary: Peter and Sybill go on a few date nights.

Captured (ao3) - HarryPotterFanstories T, 1k

Summary: After getting fired and forced to leave Hogwarts Sybill Trelawney gets captured by Lord Voldemort

If only she realised how Gorgeous she really was (ao3) - HarryPotterFanstories T, 847

Summary: She hated herself more than anyone could ever hate her. she saw herself as unlovable.

Murky Destinies and Other Possible Interceptions (ao3) - tuesday_piracy sybill/fabian, pandora/xenophilius, marlene/dorcas T, 10k

Summary: Sybill Trelawney originated from a formidable lineage of oracles, powerful enough to deduct the futures of all those existing around them, and all those yet to come. Sybill had inherited these abilities, and everyone knew she was the seer of the generation, accepted it as one accepts the universal facts of life.

It may seem surprising then, that Sybill was as lonely as she was, but not to her. Nothing could catch her off-guard. Well. Maybe except the birthday invite she received, her very first, at age 19.

The following series of events are all uncharted territory, but experiences she will find necessary.

Pawn to Pawn (ao3) - CharlotteRhea snape/sybill E, 43k

Summary: After Fate has shown her a devastating prediction of the future, Sybill finds herself responsible for preventing it from coming true. Unfortunately, that means getting involved with one Severus Snape.

Shuffling the Cards of Fate (ao3) - PTwritesmore sirius/sybill M, 3k

Summary: In the Spring of 1996, Sirius Black is sick of being trapped in Grimmauld Place alone. Enter his new flatmate, Sybill Trelawney, who moves in after being turned out of Hogwarts. While he knows he should be irritated by her, he can’t help his relentless curiosity. Can the two of them find common ground and divine a way to stay alive together during the war?

Sybill Trelawney and the Unexpected Gift (fanfiction.net) - Squibstress

Summary: "You can't use your Gift, it uses you," Professor Dorsett tells Sybill, and over the years she finds out how lonely a Seer's life can be. But when she turns to drink to help her manage it, she finds help from an unexpected source. (No pairings, but background Minerva/Elphinstone.)

Tarot and Firewhisky (ao3) - NellieTrelawney sirius/sybill E, 4k

Summary: The war has taken its toll on Sirius Black. His only source of comfort are tarot readings and the Seer performing them.

The Depths of Mystery (ao3) - Omi_Ohmy  draco/harry M, 1k

Summary: Sybill Trelawney believes in the power of Divination. She believes she glimpses the secrets and mysteries of life. When she sees kissing, skin and… thrusting in her crystal ball, she will not look away. It is her… duty to keep watching.

The Prophecy Registrar (ao3) - slashaholic666 (queerlybeloved777) G, 739

Summary: On a chilly morning in January of 1980, Sybill agreed to the Prophecyer Protocol - a method of calling forth a prophecy from someone on the Ministry of Magic's Prophecy Registrar (formerly the Scroll of Prophecyers). It was a verification, if you will, of one's abilities, and it made sense that an applicant for the Divination position at Hogwarts would be asked to do this.

Trelawney's Prediction (fanfiction.net) - Ashleopard hermione/ron T, 1k

Summary: Ron finds himself talking to Professor Trelawney who predicts love in his near future. Rated T just in case… more of a K . One-shot.

Valentines of '93 (A Gildelawney One-Shot) (ao3) - TheAuthorUniversal gilderoy/sybill, angelina/lee G, 2k

Summary: Gilderoy Lockhart and Sybil Trelawney are alone, in snowy Hogsmeade, on Valentine's Day. Will Madame Puddifoot's Tea Shoppe bring them together?

[weaponized-mathematics]

Love it... my $10k bonus after deductions was $4685 into my account 😭

[rosesnink]

Red Threads of Fate (That Binds Us Together) Part One: The World Is a Napkin

Author's Notes

Was I inspired by @thosehallowedhalls 's 30 Days 30 Drabbles to make my own drabbles series? Yes, yes I was. This series won't be a series per se, but rather small drabbles of canon and my own universe with my OC Nerea and her trysts with the Thornes, as well as glimpses with Neera and Trystan, pre and post b1 and 2. I will try to keep them small and simple, but knowing my overperfectionist and wordy self? It'd be hard, lol, I'm recovering from writing +10k word chapters with TCH lol. Enjoy!

English isn't my first language, so please forgive any typos/grammar mistakes

No beta, we die like men and all that jazz

If you wish to be tagged in my COP stuff, let me know!

All Spanish dialogue will be translated at the end of the fic

Summary: Trystan's curiosity gets the better of her... and Neera

Word Count: 1.1k

Category: Pining idiots, mild jealousy

Pairing: F!Trystan x F!MC (Neera Rose) mentions of Vasili Thorne x F!OC & Sebastyan x F!OC (Nerea Rose)

Rating: PG-13

Book: Crimes of Passion

Princess Trystan had noticed two things about Neera when collaborating with Ginovesi Agency: one, she depended too much on cheap ‘migas’ and noodles to eat, and always smiled up when the name ‘Nere <3’ showed up on her phone, which irritated Trystan in a way she was yet to describe.

She always walked away and talked for very long minutes with her. She didn’t know who this Nere was, but she disliked her, and she couldn’t quite place why. She hogged all of Neera’s attention, and had not once showed up to the office.

“So,” she asked Luke, who was tying some complicated computer stuff “who is Nere? Is she Neera’s girlfriend or something?”

Luke stopped in his tracks, turned his gaze to her and looked at the princess like she had just turned blue “Her what now?”

“I mean, she smiles like an idiot when she calls, talk for hours with her and I haven’t met her yet.”

Luke blinked “And you think, just with those facts, that she’s her girlfriend?”

Trystan shrugged, trying to hide her burning jealousy “Isn’t she?”

“No!”

“Then what is she?”

A familiar voice called “Her cousin, to whom she considers a sister.” Trystan turned around to see Mafalda Ginovesi, staring at her gravely “And if Detective Rose were to date someone, it is none of our business, Your Highness. But, if you do consider it your business, then quit beating around the bush. Neera’s smart for clues and deductions, but for dating? She’s as clueless as a cloud.”

Trystan simply nodded. She felt terribly embarrassed, not only by her jealous assumptions, but of how called out she felt. “Got it, boss.”

“Good. Speaking of Detective Rose, she ought to be here soon. Do try to wash off your jealousy while you’re at it, perhaps by browsing at the clues gathered so far.”

Wanting nothing more than to stop being called out, she pretended to browse over the evidence. She found it impossible, for Neera’s fragrance was present in the office: leather, cherry and cheap Red bull. Waiting for Luke to be lost in his computer again, she browsed through her photos: one with her father, who was rather handsome, a beautiful woman with a pregnant belly, taken in the early 90s –Neera’s mother, she supposed—and two teenagers from the 00s posing and smiling wide- It was certainly Neera, and whom she supposed was Nerea: they looked alike, although Nerea’s skin was a bit more tanned than brown like Neera’s, had a sweeter face and a very long, wavy dark brown hair.

Then, it came to her as lightning; she had seen this woman before, somewhere. She quickly whipped out her phone and searched ‘Nerea Rose’. There it was. An academic genius all over the US and Europe: tons of academic credits and titles in Europe, endless essays that were too long for Trystan’s tastes, her Pictagram account, photos with friends, newspapers talking about her… and photos smiling and chatting with two of her brothers: Vasili and Sebastyan.

Not being able to help it, she started reading the articles: she and Vasili seemed like they were a thing, holding hands and some kisses on her hand and his cheek, and then what it seemed like a photo of her confronting him. The same with Sebastyan, but those photos of them being close reeked intense-ness, a very Bas-esque behavior. Then, a photo of her that looked like she was confronting him, and then, they seemed to move on to someone else.

It seemed like she just continued with her life, and quickly whipped out their Picta accounts. Indeed, thenerearosex_. followed them both and seemed to like every photo, though no comment whatsoever. She wondered if Neera knew. Or Luke.

“Morning,” Neera greeted. She stopped when she saw Trystan hovering over her desk, glued to her phone “Uhm, Trystan?” She broke out of her trance “The hell are you doing in my desk?”

She cleared her throat “That your parents? I see where you get your looks, Detective.”

Neera simply glared “Get out of there before I move you.”

She held her hands up “Oh, fine. What do we have today?”

Neera flatly declared “Since we got demoted from the Dormer case, we are retaking possible cheaters.”

Trystan smirked “We?”

Neera took a deep breath “The possible dirtbag is a socialite. I’m taking you because you’re, well, useful. Don’t make me throw you out of the car.”

“That’d be treason.” She mocked.

“I’ll live. Pick your drink of choice and let’s go.”

After a few silent ten minutes, Trystan spoke up “You never told me you had a cousin. Sister? Sister-cousin?”

Neera raised her eyebrow “Who told you?”

“Mafalda,” she tried to sound casual “I Googled her. Seems nice.”

Her expression softened “She is the best of us. If someone deserves to thrive in Europe, it’s her.”

Trystan cleared her throat, slowing down in case this backfired. “I also saw an interesting thing about her when Googling her.”

“And what is that? My sister does many things that gets on the Google page.”

Time to brace for impact “I’ve seen a… few photos of her with two of my brothers. They seemed… close.”

Neera froze. She looked at Trystan like she had just said that the sun was a planet and it revolved around earth.

“Que mi hermana ¿qué?”

Trystan wasn’t fluent in Spanish, but the vermin and anger in her eyes made her park the car on the side of the road.

“It seems that she dated two of my brothers.”

“No.” She spat.

“It seems likely.”

“Lies. Slander!”

“You don’t know that.”

“My sister’s far too smart for your lot.”

Trystan was shocked at her denial “Now that’s a bit—,” Aaaaand she was calling Nerea. She picked up, despite being probably 4 a.m. there “Nere, did I wake you?”

“Kinda. What’s up, Neera?”

“Is it true?” She asked brusquely “That you dated two Thorne princes?”

Her voice was hoarse and confused “Why?”

“You admit it?!”

“Nina, no grites, que son las cinco de la mañana.” She moaned.

“Nina?” Trystan asked.

“Tú callada.” Neera hissed.

“Nina, it was a long time ago. Besides, why do you care? We’re the same age, I can date whoever I want.”

“I just—,”

“I’m going back to bed. And Neera’s friend, perhaps try to calm her down? Sorry about that. Night, Nina.”

She hung up, and Neera grunted. Trystan observed her closely “Would it be so terrible, your sister dating one of my brothers?”

“Yes!” She yelled.

“Why?”

“Because! Because…” She looked at Trystan intensely. The air was thick with tension, and Trystan almost saw longing in Neera’s eyes. They looked at each other’s lip for a nanosecond that flew by too fast “Doesn’t matter. Let’s deal with this cheating dirtbag, hm?”

“Okay…” She was so calling Vasili asking for details later. Neera’s sister seemed like quite the character if she could command the attention of Vasili and Bas.

“Que mi hermana ¿qué?” - My sister what?

Nina, no grites, que son las cinco de la mañana - Nina, don't scream, it's 5 a.m.

Tú callada- You shut up

[ifcomp]

The 2023 Colossal Fundraiser has begun!

Hello, friends. We’re just under a month out from this year's IFComp games being released. SO EXCITING!! (Unless you’re an author who is furiously testing and revising and recompiling and testing and revising and recompiling and… yeah. Good luck, authors*!) * If you're not yet a registered author for 2023, but you'd like to be, please do not forget to register! The deadline to register for the competition is coming up fast - September 1st, 11:59pm Eastern (23:59 EST)... then you have an additional month to polish your entry. But you must register by September 1st... Sorry, where were we? Oh right! While we eagerly await the new games to come, we’d like to ask for your help with the Colossal Fund. If you already know about the fund and would like to contribute, please go to ifcomp.org and hit the blue “Donate with PayPal” button. If you’d like more information first, keep on reading… The Colossal Fund raises money for the cash prizes that are awarded to the top two-thirds of IFComp entries. We use 80% of the funds for that, and the remaining funds are used to provide support for the programs and projects of the Interactive Fiction Technology Foundation, including the Interactive Fiction Competition, the IF Archive, the IFDB, the forums at intfiction.org, and other projects. This year, as in prior years, we are shooting for $10K. We’re now accepting donations for 2023! The donation button is live at IFComp.org. See your name listed on our donor page (or listed as “anonymous” if you prefer)! Our fundraising deadline is November 15th - the last day of competition voting. 80% of the proceeds ($8K+ if we hit our goal) will be distributed among the top two-thirds of IFComp finishers.  What does this mean for authors? Because we’re dividing the money among the top two-thirds of games, the exact numbers depend on how many entries there are. If we have 75 entries, then we will divide the money among the top 50. If we have $10K, that would mean that the winner of the competition will be offered a prize of $451, second place will be offered $433, third prize $416… and so on and so forth until 50th place, which will be offered $10.  Our goal is to distribute prizes across a broad range of IF styles and ideas. Any game which does even moderately well is offered a decent prize. Let’s see… what other questions might you have? How do I donate? Please go to https://ifcomp.org/ and push the big blue Donate button. Is my donation tax-deductible? Yes, to the extent allowed by law. (Consult a tax professional, that’s all we can say.) Does the Colossal Fund replace the usual IFComp prize list? Nope! These cash prizes will be in addition to the usual IFComp prize list. We do need more of those non-cash prizes as well! Please visit our prize page to see what objects and services others have donated, get ideas from donations given in previous years, and see how you can contribute. How will the cash prizes be distributed? Via PayPal. (The IFComp entry form has a field for your Paypal address.) If you can’t accept PayPal, we can mail a US check to a US address. If that doesn’t work for you, or if you wish to decline the cash prize, we will roll the money into next year’s prize fund, which means it will continue to support authors and IFTF programs.