#and Saga proves that time and again

[pinkomcranger]

I saw your post about Saga and I 100% agree. I love her character so much and was so happy they avoided stereotypes AND gave her agency. She wasn't there just to save Alan (the horrid magical black person troupe was avoided) she was there for people who meant something to her and they just so happen to work together by the end. Remedy truly wrote a fascinating character and got a great actress to portray her. I'm glad the hate died out from the reactionaries but the apathy from the fandom is just as bad sometimes. I love her personality and I honestly love AnderCase as a ship and incorporating Saga into ships (AndercasexWake is a thing for me lol). I also like them as friends, their dynamic is so damn good I want to see them in future games. However, I gave up writing Andercase because people just ignore it most of the time. The fandom in general kind of feels isolating if you don't like the standard ships/characters. It's discouraging and sad and makes it hard to want to post. I tried again and of course the fic did poorly so I don't bother, reminds me how little people want anything to do with Saga. Even general fics would be awesome if people are squicked by het or don't like Saga and Casey as a ship. The fan space for her and ships/dynamics with her is so small...Drawing her is scary too given someone was attacked over it, so that worries me too and I kind of backed away. There's barely anything of Saga in any fanworks and when women are involved they gravitate to Rose and in some cases Estevez (the Yakuza mod just broke my heart they did not think to add Saga before Rose who has less time and at a point people shipped Casey with Estevex BEFORE Saga like WHAT). I know that struggle you're feeling. Saga and anything with her is a footnote and I know it's not malicious but it sucks. Fandom favoritism does not help, even in the smallness of Saga fandom content only a handful are seen and the rest ignored. I've been there and seen it, it pushes newcomers away. I hope this gets better in the future but not holding my breath. Love Remedyverse/Remedy but the fandom space depresses me which sucks because everyone seems nice to me, just...sorry for the rambling. Just saw a post that resonated with my frustrations.

Do you know the thing that gets me the most about Saga? She was created by a white man. And he, along with the other writers, made SURE to avoid the stereotypes we usually get in black women protags, especially in video games. She has a power, yes, but she's not using it solely to save one person. She doesn't even know she HAS a power until halfway through the game!

She wants to save her daughter first and foremost and then Casey, she tells Alan this point-blank, save my daughter and Casey, non-negotiable, she's NOT helping him otherwise. And you can see that as selfish, but it's not, if it had JUST been herself thrown into the story? She would've been FINE with it, you see her getting more and more excited about the case. She's intrigued EVERY step of the way. It only becomes personal when Alan has the audacity to use Logan and Casey, that's her line in the sand.

Melanie puts so much into making Saga come alive, because as amazing as the writing is, she could've still fallen into the sassy black woman trope, and Melanie doesn't let that happen. I think the ONLY criticism you can give her is that her accent slips, but I really never noticed it. I agree that I'm glad the hate from the dumbass gamer bros, but like you said, the apathy can be just as bad, it's a choice to not say the quiet part outloud.

I genuinely wish they'd just say, she's a black woman, therefore, I'm not interested in her. I only care about the white men. At least be HONEST about it, instead of raving about how fun it was to play as Saga and she's so badass but not backing it up with actions.

I love Andercase with every fiber of my being. I loved them from their first scene, despite knowing she was married to somebody else. Casey is Saga's support, you see her loving to crack her puns to Casey, she even thinks of one and saves it to memory solely to tell it to Casey. Not Logan, not David, but Casey.

They mirror each other, again from their first scene, drinking coffee at the same time. A trait they keep, even as the horror story creeps closer. Casey wouldn't be even a little bit interesting to me if he wasn't paired with Saga. He's the moon and she's the sun.

I'm so sorry you were discouraged to write and post about Andercase, even just as besties. Because their dynamic IS gold, and it echoes even when they're separated. The second Kiran shows up and kicks Saga off the case, she gets over it, fine, she'll deal, but help her find her partner, damnit! I've enjoyed fics where they are just besties, the ones that ACTUALLY focus on them and, you know, doesn't make Saga the driving force for CaseyWake and nothing else.

I think that's one of the reasons it's hard for me to ship Saga and FBI Casey with anyone else, because they're each other's closest interactions for so much of the game. It's hard for me to ship Alan with them because I see him and Saga as the true platonic soulmates of the AW2 cast and Casey HATES Alan. All the way up the ending of the final draft. You can see it in his expression and body language, if he hadn't just been through the wringer and so happy to see Saga, he definitely would've punched Alan for all he shit he's put them through.

Writing a pairing you love, feeling so proud and happy about the work you've done, just to see it brushed aside is one of the most painful feelings as a creator. Fandom is supposed to be for EVERYONE, it's not supposed to be high school cliques that can't interact with each other. I don't ship Alan with Saga's Casey (it's just the only way I see him, heh), but I've seen some AMAZING fan art for them that's made me smile. But you rarely see Saga involved, which makes no sense in regards to her Casey. If it was fictional Casey, that would make sense, he doesn't exist outside of Alan's head, while Saga's Casey is a living, breathing person who spends most of his time with Saga or talking about her.

Yet she's relegated to the bro when her Casey and Alan only have her in common. I can't buy Casey being soft and domestic with Alan to save my life. I see it with Saga, I can see Saga being soft with Alan because she does show that side to him. That's who she is, if you've earned her trust and respect. You can tell Saga is always the "good cop" while Casey is the "bad cop." The only time you see him sympathetic towards Alan is when he first washes up to shore. He's mocking him but holding his tongue because Saga's not going to take that nonsense from him.

You only see Casey show the full force of his anger towards Alan when Saga isn't there to stop him. To say "Yes, THAT'S the actual love story here" is a...choice, one that actively ignores the on-screen narrative. Again, fictional Casey and Alan are a completely different topic and not something I care enough to write about.

NOBODY should be attacked for liking a pairing because what does that do? What does it accomplish except make yourself feel better and superior? Again, it's been a choice to ignore the two main women in the series, which are Alice and Saga. But I've seen quite a few fics where Alice gets to be paired with CaseyWake, while you'll be hard-pressed to find a fic where Saga gets to interact with them. That tells me something that makes me uncomfortable. And that's covert racism.

You can't even make the excuse that there's nothing left to learn about Saga, because that's simply untrue. We know the bare minimum about her family on the Anderson side, and absolutely nothing concerning her father (who is Warlin Door and I will die on that hill). We don't know much about her created family, certainly nothing about David, outside of the fact he likes Bright Springs, and boardgames and doesn't take his daughter to get checked out after she hits her head in the shower. The fact her entire identity ISN'T just Logan's mother and David's wife means so much to me.

You can't tell me it's because she's married either, because how can you say that in one breath and then ship Alan with anyone but Alice in the same breath? It genuinely leads me to think it's simply that she's a BLACK woman. And as you said, seeing people create ships for Rose and to pair Estevez with CASEY, when she's an out-and-out lesbian that Casey only meets near the end of the game speaks volumes.

I genuinely think if you swapped her race, she would be less ignored, and that's extremely fucked up. Saga was created with so much love, care, and respect. A black woman protag that we could get behind and feel represented by. A smart, strong, caring badass, who still retains her femininity, but who has an identity outside of "mother" even though saving her daughter is her driving force, it's not her only one. She cares about her newly found grandfather and great-uncle. She cares about Rose, despite the woman irritating her in the beginning. She worries for the residents of the nursing home. She has mixed feelings towards the CULT. And of course, her secondary concern is Casey. And once she sees how hard Alan is trying, she comes to care for him as well. Why else tell him he's a hero when she has every right to hate him more than anyone else in the game?

She cares about these people she's met, and she knows they deserve to be saved. And Alan is the first to admit he can't do ANY of it without Saga. If the main character of the series acknowledged Saga, why can't the fandom?

I truly hope that you can find the courage to try again with Andercase, or just Saga in general. Because I'm seeing that there are people that love her, and maybe they're not content creators but consumers, and that's now one of my motivations. To feed their hunger because they're part of the fandom too, and they shouldn't be ignored. I promise you, you'll have a fan in me. And sometimes, just one person knowing they love what you create and how they look forward to it is enough. I'm not interested in a popularity contest. You'll never see me in ship wars. I'm here for FBI Special Agent Saga Anderson. This is her story too, to make her the footnote in fanworks is terribly egregious and goes against the very thing Remedy wanted.

If you ever want to ramble, my inbox is always open. If you ever have ideas you want to see in regards to fanfic for Andercase or Saga, I'm right here. Thank you so much for giving me a chance to read about your feelings for Saga and her partner. It means the world to me.

[voluptuarian]

Finally jumped into my Turkey paper so the worst (the utterly paralyzing anxiety before and then complete bewilderment as I read through 60 FUCKING PAGES OF NOTES trying to remember wtf I was even going to say) is over

Have literally just been going through the notes and putting stuff into a google doc as I go, waiting on structure to emerge as I do (and it's starting to come together now)

but since I took 60 FUCKING PAGES OF NOTES just getting through the first half already has me at 9.5 pages of writing for a paper that's supposed to be 25ish

(all of which, btw, explicitly ties the "New Turkey" agenda to Sevres Syndrome, Ottoman imperial nostalgia, and AKP attempting to turn the country into a one-party nation with Erdogan as its sultan-esque figurehead-- the outcome I proposed originally and which my professor told me wasn't "accurate," putting me into this backpedaling position in the first place. If it's not accurate, then he had better start buying stamps, because many authors in many journals for DECADES have been contributing their opinions to a large body of work that says is IS accurate, so he will have a lot people to set right.)

Also I already hated Erdogan but now he's personally responsible for me even having had to write this paper, so I'm gunning for him on a purely intimate scholarly hatred as well as international ethical/political one

[melefim]

Hey @netflix honestly how do you expect people to watch your shows and invest their time and money into you when EVERY SINGLE TIME you have something people love you just throw it away?

What’s the fucking point if a show with a 92/90 on Rotten Tomatoes and that’s made MULTIPLE Best Of lists isn’t even given a chance to grow?

Let’s look at some comparisons of a few other recent Netflix shows that got a second (or more) season, shall we? How are they stacking up on RT?

Stranger Things: 91/90

The Sandman: 88/80

Bridgerton: 84/74

Shadow & Bone: 83/84

Wednesday: 73/85

Locke & Key: 68/56

Avatar: The Last Airbender: 61/72

Fate: The Winx Saga: 45/82

So good reviews and critical acclaim won’t do it. Multiple weeks on your top 10 won’t do it, making the Nielsen top 10 won’t do it. Engagement from a devoted fan base won’t do it. I’m curious, what’s the metric here? Just because it wasn’t an instant runaway sensation, it’s not worth it to you? Is that what it takes?

Here’s a hot tip: if you want people to continue to pay for a subscription to your service, maybe give stuff a chance to grow. Maybe invest a bit of time into actually advertising a show before it premiers.

One of the most popular tweets about Dead Boy Detectives when it came out was someone saying they didn’t want to watch it because they didn’t trust you not to cancel it and break their hearts. There were THOUSANDS of people agreeing with it. Thousands of viewers, thousands of accounts you missed out on because people didn’t trust you. So how is this move going to help that?

How are you planning to get people to stick around when one of the best shows on your platform isn’t given a chance? How are you expecting them to ever give your shows a chance when you’re proving again and again that you can’t be trusted to follow through?

Dead Boy Detectives is a great show. It’s a quality product. The cinematography, the lighting, the sound design, the sets, the props, the COSTUMES. The scripts are good, the acting is great, the effects are believable. the cast and crew poured their hearts into it and you can see it on the screen. The characters are relatable and real. This is a show that is rewatchable. A show that is fun. A show that is entertaining. That has a good message, that deals with heavy topics with care and sensitivity. That’s got comedy and drama and horror and mystery. That’s got representation and diversity. That means something to people. Means A LOT to people. But that’s not important to you.

Dead Boy Detectives was THE reason I renewed my account. I watched it multiple times. (See how many magnifying glasses there are after my name up there? Fun fact: I added one every time I watched the full season.) I was even making a list of other shows and movies I was planning to check out. But that’s not happening any more, because I’m canceling my account as soon as this post is up. And I know I’m not the only one.

[kaisacobra]

Deal - Tara Carpenter

Summary: After a long time apart, you and Tara have to figure out if you can still save what you had or if you are too broken to be fixed.

Warnings: A bit of angst (maybe)

Word Count: 3.9K

a/n: This is officially the end of the whole "second best" saga! Thank you so much for everyone who read it till here, it was really fun to write. I hope you guys don't mind the open ending 🤭

Fourth part/Alternate ending of Second Best

Tara couldn't remember the last time she felt this nervous. She stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror for what must have been the hundredth time, adjusting her bangs again, sweeping them from side to side until they looked almost the same as they did initially. The bright light in the room highlighted her freckles and wide, brown eyes filled with anxiety.

It had been a little over a year since she last saw you, since you accepted a spot for a study abroad program after recovering from the injuries caused by the last ghostfaces attack. You went with Kate, and as far as Tara knew, you and the girl spent that time living together.

She vividly remembered the day you left, as everyone else bid you farewell at the airport while Tara drowned in her own misery in her room. She wanted to go, say something, maybe even plead for you to stay, but she didn't have that right. She had sworn not to get close to you again until she knew she had her emotions under control.

Still, she allowed herself to be a bit more flexible when she noticed that her contact was no longer blocked by you. She let her fingers type an honest and heartfelt message about her mistakes, how sorry she was, and her plans to become a better person in the future. You responded with a heart emoji and nothing more. Nevertheless, it relieved the weight on Tara's chest just to know that you didn't hate her as much as she feared.

Tara remained true to the promise she made, a kind of devotion to you and what you represented in her life. She continued her therapy sessions regularly and decided to set aside some of her pride when trying to find new coping mechanisms, even if some of them required the help of others.

Writing remained her favorite, and she had hundreds of pages to prove it. She would be lying if she said you weren't the most mentioned topic in her journals, but over time, she started expanding her writing, and it became common to see her with a small notebook in her bag at all times, ready to express her opinions and feelings when necessary.

But she didn't have the notebook in hand that day. It was Mindy's birthday, and Tara wanted to be 100% dedicated to her friends, actively participating in games, conversations, and any other activity they needed. She knew she had been a bit absent-minded since you moved away, and it made her friends uneasy, not knowing exactly how to deal with the situation and with Tara herself.

But the day was supposed to be happy and carefree, so that's what Tara was going to appear to be.

Or at least, that was the plan until Tara arrived at Mindy's apartment and heard from the birthday girl herself that you would be arriving any moment. From that point on, Tara only remembers feeling her heart almost leap out of her throat and rushing to the bathroom in a failed attempt to prevent hyperventilation.

She sighed again and gripped the sink so tightly that the knuckles of her fingers turned white. She was anxious to see you, but she had no idea how you would react to the encounter. What if you looked at her with distaste? Or if you didn't even want to look her in the face? Tara knew she would deserve that kind of treatment, but it didn't mean it would hurt any less.

Because the truth is, all this time, Tara just wanted you back in her life.

---

Ringing a doorbell should be a simple task, but still, you couldn't help but stand in front of the door, second-guessing before pressing the simple buzzer.

"You know, if you want, we can turn around and leave, but we both know that's not what you want."

You sighed, turning to look at the girl beside you. Kate Bishop had her hands in the jacket pockets and displayed a fond smile on her face, which you imagined was an attempt to make you feel better.

"I hate it when you're right," you scoffed, but both of you knew your indignation was just a joke, having spent enough time together to read each other's reactions like a book.

This wasn't what you expected when you accepted the offer for a year-long study abroad program at Cambridge, but you also couldn't say you weren't satisfied with how things turned out. You didn't even know you needed this change of scenery, but it made sense after everything you had been through. You needed time away from painful memories.

The British air provided a calmness you hadn't felt in a long time, without fear of seeing familiar faces on the streets or places that would remind you of certain memories or people. Of course, good company also played a significant role.

You could hardly believe it when Kate offered to share an apartment with you near the college. She had already done so much for you, being by your side and supporting you throughout your rehabilitation process after last year's attack. You didn't want her to feel obligated to continue taking care of you.

But Kate barely listened to your concerns, saying that she needed to go to other countries to try to expand her company's contacts and that it would be good to have a roommate to share expenses (even though you were pretty sure Kate had enough money to buy three apartments in central London if she wanted to).

It was one of the best decisions you had ever made, and quickly you and Kate fell into such a comfortable rhythm that it felt like you had always lived together. Your relationship even turned romantic for a while, but it only lasted until you both realized that you were better off as friends, which was agreed upon between the two of you.

"Come on, ring that doorbell already! I'm starving!" Kate lightly pushed you, and you rolled your eyes with affection, feeling a bit less tense with your friend's moral support.

"Starving," you laughed and actually pressed the doorbell, taking a few steps back to wait for the moment the door would open. Your hands were trembling, and you felt as though you were about to sweat even though it was quite cold in New York. Of course, you missed your friends, your family, but that wasn't enough to ease your anxiety.

When the door finally opened, you were faced with Mindy Meeks-Martin, with her signature sarcastic smile and her short, curly hair reaching her chin, much longer than the last time you saw her. "Well, well. If it isn't our new European! Do you only speak with an accent now?"

"You're ridiculous." With a smile, you advanced and enveloped Mindy in a long hug that she quickly reciprocated, both feeling the longing emanating through the touch. The contact lasted for a few long seconds until you both untangled yourselves again. "I hope it's not a problem that I brought Kate along..."

"Pfft! Of course not!" Mindy waved her hand, indicating that she didn't mind the newcomer. "It's even better you brought her because I needed to thank her in person for taking care of you." She looked at Kate with a playful smile. "I think we all know our y/n is too kind to be alone in a distant country. She would try to help a stranger on the street and get kidnapped for sure."

"Hey!"

"Wow, have you heard about the time she took the wrong subway, and then..."

"Okay! Enough about my misfortune! Can we go in?" You interrupted Kate, feeling your cheeks flush a bit. Despite being slightly embarrassed, you were still happy that two important people in your life had the potential to get along, and that was all you could ask for.

Mindy made room, and finally, you entered the apartment. It was new, considering the twin and Anika had recently moved in together, and it was sparsely furnished but beautiful and comfortable enough to feel like a home. You and Kate approached, she with her hands on your back as a silent support, and you greeted your friends with enthusiasm and a longing to catch up.

Chad looked stronger than ever, and he seemed excited about both college and his part-time job as an assistant at a gym. Apparently, he got a discount for training and using the equipment and was clearly taking full advantage of it. He and Kate engaged in a conversation about diets, weights, and workouts that you honestly couldn't follow, but you were satisfied to know that they had gotten along well enough to plan to train together someday.

Anika was happy and radiant, making you laugh as she always did. She wore a cropped top, revealing the huge scar forming a line in the center of her stomach, something she seemed to wear with pride. You never expected this reaction from her; on the contrary, you had imagined that she would want to distance herself from the group, out of fear or trauma. Still, it was reassuring to see that she had stayed for Mindy. They were the kind of couple you hoped would last forever.

Sam seemed somewhat lighter since the last time you saw her, as if a huge weight had lifted off her shoulders. She was smiling, albeit not very widely, and welcomed you with a warm hug that almost made you cry with relief. Part of you always wondered if Sam was glad with your departure because of... well... your conflicts with her sister, but she seemed so happy with your presence that it was almost embarrassing that you had that thought in the first place.

And then, she came. A pair of bright brown eyes that haunted your sleep without permission. It was unfair how she looked as beautiful as the last time you saw her, as if time worked differently for her, and only for her. Your breath caught in your throat, and your heart seemed to beat so fast it was about to explode.

How could it be possible that your entire system changed just by her presence? How was it possible that, with a glance, she could change your heartbeat and make your head spin like a carousel? Maybe she didn't even know she was doing it, but you couldn't comprehend why, even after so many years, your body reacted so instinctively around her.

It was almost humiliating to realize that your efforts seemed to have been in vain. You had gone to another country, met new people, explored new horizons, even had a girlfriend for a brief period. During this year, you had thought so little about Tara that you almost thought you could leave her in the past, that you had overcome your feelings, so pure but so conflicting. All of this, all this effort to come back and realize that you seemed to still be stuck in the same place, like the same foolish girl who would do anything for Tara Carpenter against your better judgment.

You could still hear her screams on that last night you had together when you thought you were going to die, and your biggest concern was that Tara had to leave that room alive. You still remembered the conversation you had before, Tara begging for your forgiveness and saying she loved you multiple times.

Those were memories that left a hole in your chest. You knew Tara had her problems, but you always lost so much when she distanced herself.

She raised her hand in an awkward greeting, and you think you gave a half-smile in response. It was too much. You were still feeling too much, and it drove you crazy. Still, you pretended everything was okay for a few moments, just not to create an uncomfortable atmosphere at the party. You talked to the others, sharing a bit of your experience in England, but your mind always unconsciously turned to Tara, analyzing her reactions and trying to read her thoughts.

Tara was quiet, maybe even quieter than you had ever seen her. You couldn't read her expressions very well, straining to see her only from the corner of your eye, but you could feel her attentive gaze on you, as if nothing in the world was as interesting as you.

Finally, you stopped talking for a while and found an excuse to leave and try to restore some of your sanity. The door to the balcony was open, and even though the view was nothing but New York's industrial buildings, the cold wind on your face helped alleviate some of the nervousness you were feeling.

A gentle touch reached your shoulder, and it was familiar enough for you to recognize the owner. Kate's image appeared by your side as she leaned on the railing, looking directly at your face in deep thought. "So?"

"I thought I had gotten over this. This is ridiculous." You responded with your head down, feeling ashamed to continue in this cycle of liking Tara Carpenter.

Kate shook her head and held your shoulder again, silently asking for your attention. "You can't control these things, you know." A second of silence passed, the faint sounds of the city serving as a soundtrack to your emotional confusion. "If it helps, she spent the whole time looking at you. She seemed... I don't know, regretful, maybe? I don't know her as well as you do."

"I don't even know if I still know her." It was a true confession. Even after everything, even the attacks and the message Tara sent you when you were leaving the country, you still weren't sure if she had the capacity to return to what she was before everything went wrong. You were afraid, and honestly, who could blame you?

While you were away, sometimes you checked your friends' Instagram, just to see what they were up to. Multiple times, the posts contained photos with Tara, and she seemed happy, maybe even lighter. You even wondered if the two of you were just destined to be apart, like a more brutal version of Romeo and Juliet.

"You're not obligated to anything, but don't you need some sort of closure?" Kate advised. "Just to move on, if that's what you really want."

"What do you mean by that?" You retorted defensively.

The blue-eyed girl smiled and shook her head slightly, as if dealing with an irritated child. "I saw how you looked at her when you arrived. I'm not saying you should do anything, especially because I have my doubts if she could really be good for you, but it's clear that you feel something for her that's bigger than you can control."

"Yeah, and that's pathetic."

"Don't be so hard on yourself. I understand that your situation is complicated." Kate placed her other hand on your shoulder, now holding you face-to-face with her. "But you know you'll have to face this someday, right? Whatever the conclusion may be."

"Yeah, I know." You sighed, but eventually a smile broke through, lighting up your expression. "When did you become so wise, Bishop? Last time I saw you, you were trying to put aluminum in the microwave."

"Shut up." She grumbled while also having a smile on her face and pulled you into a hug that you didn't even know you needed. That was Kate, a warm person who always gave her best to the people she loved. You couldn't be more grateful to still have her in your life, even though your relationship didn't work out. 

The affectionate moment almost made you forget your conflict. Almost.

Until the reason for all your doubts appeared standing in front of the door, staring directly at you.

_

Tara regretted going after you.

She should have expected, especially since you came to the party with Kate, especially because you spent this whole year living with her. But that didn't mean it hurt any less to see you embraced with her, looking so comfortable that you wouldn't need anything else in this world.

Especially if it was someone known for hurting you and breaking your heart repeatedly.

She stood there, rooted to the ground like an idiot, until you two separated and noticed her presence. When your eyes met, she looked like a deer in the headlights and immediately started stepping back, embarrassed to have been caught like that.

Tara was already planning how to hide from you for the rest of the party when Kate stopped her. "Hey! No need to leave."

The Latina girl halted her route and looked suspiciously at both of you. You didn't seem to understand the situation, just like her, but Kate seemed sure of what she was doing because she continued. "You two need to talk once and for all. No imminent death or text messages, just eye to eye."

"Kate." You called her, grabbing her arm as a form of protest. Tara couldn't help but wince when she noticed how just how much you were against the idea of being alone with her. Not that she could blame you for it.

"Thank me later." That was all the other girl responded, and with a short nod towards Tara, she returned to the living room, leaving two tormented souls by themselves on the balcony.

Tara took a few small steps forward, analyzing what your reaction would be to the proximity. You seemed to be doing your best to ignore her, looking into the distance as if there were something interesting in graffiti-covered billboards and dimly lit lamp posts. She leaned on the railing, trying at least to have a view of your face. "Sorry if I interrupted your intimate moment; I didn't mean to."

You released air through your nose, but Tara couldn't tell if it was a laugh. "You talk as if Kate and I were dating."

"And aren't you?" The younger Carpenter replied, trying to contain some of the excitement she wanted to show. That had been one of the best news she had received in a long time. 

"No, not for a while. I thought you saw it on my Instagram; I unblocked you." You finally looked at her, and Tara could see that you were analyzing her, as if she were a puzzle to be solved.

"Yeah, I stopped checking a while ago. Thought maybe it would bother you."

"And it wouldn't bother me for you to say you love me and not visit me in the hospital once after almost dying in front of you? It wouldn't bother me that the only news I had from you after that was that message before I boarded the plane, since you didn't even bother to show up at the airport?"

Tara felt the anger in your voice, and she accepted each of your frustrations as a penance. God, she would probably accept a punch from you if that would make you feel better. "I had promised myself that I would only get close to you again when I was better, okay? When I sought help and there was no risk of being an idiot with you again. I didn't lie when I said I love you, and it's because I love you that I knew it was better to stay away until I could be a version of myself that would be better for you."

A minute of pure silence passed, and Tara almost thought the conversation would end there until you spoke again. "And did you? Get better, I mean."

She sighed and crossed her arms as if that made her less vulnerable. "I think so. I don't feel as much uncontrolled anger as before; I also don't feel the need to take out my frustrations in drinks or parties. It's been a while since I argued with Sam, and I think that's good for both of us. And my therapist is nice, even though he's old enough to not know what Twitter is." Tara laughed, even though she was full of anxiety bubbling inside her. "But he advised me to write, and that has helped me a lot."

You looked at her with curiosity. "Write? About what?"

"About everything." Tara shrugged, almost as if she were relaxed. "My day-to-day life, college, my friends... you. Writing makes what I feel not stay trapped inside me, so I have no reason to explode. Everyone wins with this, and I must say that my essay grades even increased after that."

A short laugh escaped your lips, and the sound made Tara minimally satisfied with herself. "You write about me?"

"Yeah, actually, most of my journals have something about you. Memories of our childhood or what I feel for you." Tara admitted, feeling her own face blush with embarassment. You didn't seem to notice, or just didn't care, because you continued to look at her very carefully. "But most of it is about things I regret. Things I said, things I did... I'm really sorry."

"I want to believe that. I mean, I believe you, I know you're not lying, but..." You placed your hands on your head and closed your eyes, your elbows resting on the railing. It seemed like you were trying to block your own thoughts. "It's all so complex, and I feel so much... pain."

"I understand. I don't expect you to forgive me, and I'm willing to spend the rest of my life apologizing if necessary." Cautiously, Tara took a few steps towards you. "But if you want me to stay away, just say the words, and I'll go."

You sighed with evident exhaustion. "Of course not, Tara."

She took a few more steps, and now her arm almost touched yours. "I know I have no right to ask this, but... do you still love me? Or do you think you could love me again someday?"

"Of course, I still love you, Tara! Don't you see that's the problem?" You moved away from the railing, raising your voice as the conversation stressed you. "I shouldn't still love you! I shouldn't still want you around! What does that say about me?"

Tara waited a few seconds until you calmed down, keeping the distance between you to avoid making you more irritated. When your breathing started to slow, she continued in a weak voice. "I hurt the person I loved most in this world. What does that say about me?"

You didn't say anything in response. She spoke again. "Why don't we make a deal?"

"A deal? About what?" You replied with sarcasm dripping from your voice.

"Let me prove that I've changed, that I've improved, that I deserve a place in your life again. We can start slowly; I won't force anything and will respect any boundaries you want." The girl pleaded, almost clasping her hands and kneeling at your feet. "And if I do anything, anything at all, that makes you uncomfortable and hurts you, I'll leave you alone forever."

"What's the point of that?"

"To stop this doubt that I know we both have. Stop us from wondering about the 'what ifs' and really put to the test if I've changed. That's what you want, isn't it? To know if there's any chance the old Tara can come back? Well, that's all I want too."

You stared at her, clear doubt and apprehension in your eyes as you thought about the presented arguments. Tara's foot tapped rapidly on the floor, demonstrating her nervousness.

A few seconds passed until you spoke again. "What does this mean for us?"

Tara's expression softened as she understood your caution. It was understandable, your fear. "I don't know, but we can find out together. Do we have a deal?"

A few more seconds, and then, a nod.

"Deal."

[spider-chris06]

Do you know why Spider-Verse Miles is my favorite Spider-Man?

He, without having a choice, had to do in two days, what took all the other Spider-Sonas in the multiverse weeks, become Spider-Man, all under the unimaginable pressure of being the successor to the previous Spider-Man of his universe, which left the bar too high, having to meet everyone else's expectations, and having to go through a tortuous journey while learning from his mentor.

Even when the spider-gang not only didn't trust him but even seemed to dislike Miles at first (Except, of course, Gwen and Peter B, who are very special cases)

And pressing him to see if he was ready and treating him like just a kid (Even Peni).

All so that he then went to his uncle, who was like a second father to him and someone who truly understood Miles, only to find out that he had always been a hitman, going so far as to almost end with the life of his nephew, until he realizes what he was about to do and... well, tragedy happens.

The death of Uncle Aaron, due to the depth and history behind it, remains the most tragic "death of Uncle Ben" in all of cinema... ever.

Miles stopped being the same since then, and even when a hurricane of emotions possessed him, he learned that no matter what, Spider-Man always gets up and keeps going, at the same time he learned to take his leap of faith. Before becoming Spider-Man he had a normal and happy life, but after being bitten by that spider his whole life fell apart, but of course, Miles is someone truly strong and full of determination thanks to the people close to him.

In two days, he surpassed almost the entire Spider-gang, and in a year and a half he become almost a professional as Spider-Man, even giving lessons to everyone else, and making it clear to Gwen and the others what truly means being Spider-Man, not standing by crossed arms while someone is in danger, but trying to do everything you can to save everyone, doing both things, even when it seems impossible, Spider-Man should always try, because everything it's possible.

At the same time that Miles felt stabbed in the back by the same people to whom he wanted to dedicate his entire future just to see them again since he felt alone and sad inside in the world without them, and, specially, without Gwen.

And let me remind something, Miles actually thinks she doesn't even love him and only sees him as a friend, but he still wants to see her

On the ATSV betrayal, he release all that hurricane of emotions that he had to swallow and accumulate inside during ITSV and during that entire year and a half for not having time for ALL those things said before, leading him to have anxiety and panic attacks (Something confirmed in the synopsis of the short "The Spider Within")

All so that they later reveal to him that he was a mistake, an anomaly, that he should never have been Spider-Man, that he killed the Peter of his universe, causing everything that gave MEANING to his life fell down in just a few minutes, leaving Miles more traumatized, mortified and with more trust issues than he already had before.

He really became one of the most tragic character of all the saga (Along with Peter B and, put it in some way, Miguel O' Hara)

And just because Miles looks with a cool and chill personality doesn't mean he's any less traumatized and mortified on the inside (An example is Andrew Garfield's Spider-Man).

Even though in the comics that nickname is only used because that is what his universe is called, in the movies, on the other hand, even though there are people on the internet who deny the fact that he is currently becoming an unstoppable phenomenon that is marking an entire generation and will mark future generations, Miles Morales proved to be, without a doubt, the Ultimate Spider-Man.

As a bonus, even though she always screwed up with everyone around her, both the living and the dead, Gwen showed that she really loves Miles and that he truly is the love of her life, however, needless to say, she has a lot of work to do in her redemption arc to be able to fix things with Miles, which will be very difficult but not impossible, even more so taking into account all the hate she received for everything that happened in ATSV.

Now she has to PROVE not only to him, but to all of us viewers, that she truly deserves to be with Miles, that they can have a life together by her own merit, and that all the hate towards her after the ATSV release it's truly unfair.

However, I have to be realistic, there are characters like Peni or even Peter B who should not be anything more than simple 'acquaintances' or 'partners' for Miles, since, with what they did, the term "Friend" It's too big for them.

In any case, Miles has the last word.

[stepintothelimelight]

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄ DON’T STOP ME NOW!

┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺ 　° I’m a racing car,

passing by

like lady godiva ✧ ⁺ ┊

PART 1 of the Spitfire Saga

TRAILER: Spitfire makes her F1 debut and changes the world of F1 forever

(2017!grid x genz!fem!reader)(SMAU)

For more Spitfire content go to my account and it’s my pinned post since tumblr hates me and won’t let me link anything :)

WARNINGS: not a lot lol language?, suggestive stuff but in a bad way, sexism, that one picture of max 💀, for me, spitfire is american, so there will be references to american things (I’m american)

fc: random girls (mostly drivers) i found in pinterest + valtteri bottas

Aaaaannnnd ACTION!

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twitter

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yourusername just shared a story!

Caption: [AP calc ❌ abu dhabi ☑️]

Replies:

charles_leclerc: Congrats, Mate! Just heard the good news! yourusername: jelly? charles_leclerc: I try to be nice and this is what I get ☹️ yourusername: liked a message

max33verstappen: Can’t wait to see you on the track yourusername: aww 😚 yourusername: only took me 3 years to catch up with you maxie 😁😁 max33verstappen: Good luck trying to catch me in the track, Schat. yourusername: 😠😠

user4: no one wants you here

user5: Give the seat to Schumacher. He deserves it 53847822 more times than you do.

yourbestfriend1: Take me with youuuuuu 😭 yourbestfriend1: I don’t want to deal with mr Henry alone 😞 yourusername: bro i would if i could but merc literally kidnapped me out of calc 😒 dw tho i still have to do henry’s work just in a plane ☹️ yourbestfriend1: liked a message

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yourusername just shared a story!

Caption: [first time in a f1 car kinda nervy]

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mercedesamgf1 ☑️

Welcome to the paddock, Y/n!

tagged: yourusername

liked by yourusername, lewishamilton, charles_leclerc and 238809 others

view 6389 comments:

yourusername: awww thanks admin ❤️

user6: Schumacher better

user7: def gonna crash out in FP1

carlossainz55: ¡bienvenida Spitfire!

⮑ user18: the fact that everyone calls her Spitfire 🥲

user9: poser

⮑ user8: how is she a poser? She earned her place just like any other alternate would

⮑user9: she obviously sleeps her way to the top

⮑ user8: SHE IS BARELY 18!

user10: All y’all honestly hating on a teenage girl right now 🤡🤡

⮑ user11: literally it’s pathetic

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twitter:

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yourusername

yourusername: POLE POSITYOSN!!!

ps sorry 4 swearing on the radio 😔

pps i didn’t just catch you max, i beat you 😇xx

tagged: mercedsamgf1, max33verstappen

liked by lewishamilton, f1 and 63729 others

view 16738 comments:

user19: icon

user20: proved them all wrong!

⮑user21: not like she won a race 🙄🙄

⮑user20: not like you could do any better 🙄🙄

user24: my homegirl really did max dirty

user25: Absolutely VIOLATED Verstappen

user54: how does she have that picture?

⮑ user55: her and max are childhood friends. they were karting rivals

⮑ user56: she, him and Charles were the big 3 of their age division

⮑ user54: isn’t she younger than them, though?

⮑user55: she raced 2 years up

lewishamilton: An honor to be on the track with you! History in the making 💪🏾

⮑ yourusername: 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨 LEWIS ON MY POST LEWIS ON MY POST 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

⮑charles_leclerc; Chèrie, you’re embarrassing me

⮑yourusername: u don’t need my help to do that 👍

user22: her and Charles HELP

max33verstappen: was that last picture necessary?

⮑ yourusername: very.

user23: her and Max HELP

pierregasly: Great to race with you again!

♡ by creator

danielricciardo: amazing driving, Spitfire! (and thank you for the blackmail 🙏🙏)

⮑yourusername: happy to help

⮑max33verstappen: 👎

landonorris: glad to see one of the ‘99s making a mark around here ❤️

⮑yourusername: awwwww lan 😗 come to f1

⮑landonorris: i lost my pass ☹️

⮑yourusername: again? ☹️

user24: Y/n and Lando 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨?

⮑yourusername: OH HEYLLLLL NAWWE

⮑landonorris: EEWWWW

⮑user24: what the hell 😭

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yourbestfriend1 just shared a story!

Caption: [literally sobbing @/yourusername] ▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

f1 ☑️

f1: WINNER! 

Y/n L/n becomes the first woman to win a formula one grand prix! She also becomes the youngest ever Grand Prix winner at 18 years, 37 days and the first driver to win on their debut race since 1961! 

Congratulations, yourusername, in the words of @lewishamilton: “history in the making.”

tagged: yourusername, mercedesamgf1 

liked by max33verstappen, taylorswift and 63738 others

Congratulations, yourusername, in the words of @lewishamilton: “history in the making.”

tagged: yourusername, Mercedesamgf1 

view 8367 comments

mercedesamgf1: THAT’S OUR GIRL!!!!!!

⮑ user25: Y/n seat when??

⮑yourusername: yeah, when??? 😇😇😇 (joking pls don’t fire me xoxo)

user26: Y/n in the comments begging for a job is so relatable

user27: rigged

user28: Obviously a PR stubt

⮑user29: How? She outpaced everyone in Qualifying and held pole for the whole race

⮑user28: last race of the season, they need some new fans, so they bring in a woman and tell everyone to drive slower to get more traffic. It’s not rocket science 

⮑user30: the only rocket science is how on earth you got to that conclusion

scuderiaferrari: a historic race! @/yourusername

yourusername: Thank you @/f1 and @/mercedesamgf1 for this incredible opportunity. History was made tonight ❤️❤️❤️

⮑user31: damn right it was

yourusername: ALSO DID WE SEE THAT TAYLOR SWIFT LIKED THE POST???? @taylorswift ILYSM!!! TIWWCHNT IS LITERALLY MY HYPE SONG!!!!

⮑user32: ofc she’s a swiftie

⮑yourusername: what is that supposed to mean?? being a swiftie is the only way to live ??? how can you breathe without listening to reputation on repeat????

⮑ user33: TIWWCHNT STANS UNITE

⮑ taylorswift: @/yourusername: congrats on the win! Here’s to you, an inspiration to all of us women fighting our ways into men’s worlds! 🥂🍾

⮑yourusername: OH MY GODDDDDDD

⮑user34: is she still breathing?

⮑maxverstappen33: no

         ⮑danielricciardo: no

         ⮑mercedesamgf1: no

         ⮑charles_leclerc: no

         ⮑carlossainz55: no

         ⮑lewishamilton: no

         ⮑f1: no

         ⮑user35: is @/user34 still breathing?

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yourusername

yourusername: WHAT A WEEKEND!!

Mercedes!! tysm for trusting me in your car and i hope that i did you proud!!! this week has been a dream 🤍

Valtteri: I know that my win tonight is due to your misfortune, and I’m sorry we will never get to race together on the track. I hope I did you proud.

Seb, to whom I’m dedicating my maiden win to. Without you, I would be no where. your never ending support and willingness to help are the reasons i’ve been able to race as long as i have. you named me spitfire all the way back in f4 and now that nickname will live in the legendd of the sport forever.

History was made tonight, and even if this is the last race i ever drive in a formula 1 car, i’ll rest easier knowing that my win in abu dhabi 2017 will inspire the next generation of female athletes in motorsport.

Thank you to everyone who came out to support Mercedes tonight!

xx Spitfire

tagged: lewishamilton, mercedesamgf1, valtteribottas and f1

liked by mercedesamgf1, lewis hamilton and 380278 others 

view 279491 comments

user36: say what you want about her, what she accomplished tonight is legendary

lewishamilton: Congratulations! Looking forward to seeing you around the track next year!

⮑user37: around, not on 😔

⮑user38: Everyone join hands in prayer that Lewis doesn’t know anything about Bottas’ seat being filled and is just being nice

⮑user39: 🤝

⮑user40:🤝

⮑user41:🤝

⮑user42: 🤝

⮑yourusername: 🤝

⮑user38: GDJEIWOSK she’s so unserious 😂😂

⮑yourusername: ❤️❤️❤️

estebanocon: Amazing race, Y/n!

♡ by creator

user49: YOU DON’T BELONG HERE

charles_leclerc: great to see you finally live out your dream, mate ❤️🍾

⮑yourusername: luv ya charlie 🥂

⮑user43: CHARY/N CONFIRMED??

⮑ yourusername: 😬😑🤨

⮑ user44: Y/n really out in the trenches fighting every romance rumor

max33verstappen: I let you win…

⮑yourusername: Lying is a sin, Max Emilian Verstappen.

⮑ user45: dayumm the full government name too

⮑user46: and proper punctuation!!! max lock your doors 😰

⮑max33verstappen: Why do I feel like something bad is going to happen to me tonight?

⮑ yourusername: because something bad is going to happen to you tonight.

⮑user47: Max getting threatened on main 😂😂

danielricciardo: Great race and even better weekend! Fun getting to know you, Spitfire!

♡ by creator

user60: Anyone see the way she was crying when she got out of the car? Couldn’t even walk, so emotional. Pathetic.

⮑user61: Ome of the many reasons women aren’t supposed to race in F1

serenawilliams: love seeing a strong woman! Keep up the good work, Y/n! 🏆

⮑yourusername: i gasped

⮑yourusername: the 🐐 is here

user51: PR stunt.

user52: Ruining F1

⮑ user53: She’s turning F1 into a joke

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yourusername just shared a story!

caption: [otw home 😴😴]

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twitter

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2.5 weeks later….

mercedesamgf1

Proud to announce that we have signed a new driver to fill Valtteri Bottas’ seat! Please officially welcome Y/n L/n to the paddock!

tagged: yourusername

liked by lewishamilton, valtteribottas and 573011 others

view 8739 comments

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✧ ⁺ ⁺ don’t wanna stop

at all…┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺ 　°

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Aaaannnnnnd scene!

DIRECTOR’S CUT: hehe part 1 done! Sorry for any innacuracies and/ or mistakes. Turns out making these SMAUs is A LOT of work. Like a boatload of work. Anyway, see u in part 2!

A little background info:

Seb is Spitfire’s mentor and funded her career since 2009

Charles Max and Spitfire terrorized their Karting generation

Seb gave her the nickname- in German F4 she was well known to be very blunt and had a very fast mouth. Seb called her it over live TV once and it stuck

Lando and Spitfire are old friends since they were always a little different from the rest of the kids - she was a girl and he looked like a toddler

Want to join the taglist? drop a comment below or message my inbox

[faithtrickedhope]

okay, okay, so—

no one asked for it, but here is every mention of hunger/food/eating/drinking in epic, and how i think it all ties to the overarching themes of the narrative; a needlessly long post:

throughout the troy saga, food is repeatedly brought up as it is necessary to the survival of the fleet. at this point, they’ve just emerged from war and have not yet faced the atrocities that will later befall them, thus, searching for food is their biggest priority and largest concern at that point. this is the beginning of the motif of food in relation to the desperation of the characters. lack of food makes them desperate, hunger is desperation. (the lotus eaters quite literally echo this need back to them)

(post continues under the cut, image IDs are in ALT text)

here is our first instance of how food, although necessary, can just as much be dangerous. this foreshadows later on when we see circe’s meal have ill effect on the soldiers. here though, odysseus is the one to notice this, he has not yet reached a point of desperation where he is acting irrationally

knowing now what will unfold in this cave, this specific conversation surrounding food is almost a damnation. as we see later in the songs, food can be associated with death as much as with life

much like with the revelation of the lotus, we see, although he maybe should have considered the danger before entering the cave, odysseus is still at a point where he can think rationally in relation to the food

not a whole lot to say here, though i suppose it’s interesting that where before now food has been treated as a source of saving the men, now the cyclops threatens turning them to food, this it now represents death

not food but now drink is being offered as a peace offering, yet again consumption represents life and survival, as odysseus offers the wine as a means to spare his men

circe uses food as a means of luring in the men. it’s something they’ve been longing for - desperate for - for so long, that now they don hesitate to eat without any rational consideration of potential dangers. like with the lotus, the food - although veiled as being salvation, is dangerous. and like with the cyclops’ threats, it hails something ominous

now, again, food is shown as being a powerful, hopeful thing. in this case, the flower hermes gives odysseus to eat quite literally acts as a means of salvation, offering him a way to fight circe. again and again, eating is beyond a means of just quelling hunger, but necessary to survival

odysseus relays how the sirens planned to prove their power by “turning [the] men into snacks”, only to contrast this s few lines later with “we are the ones who feast now”, as he and his men are the ones who have gained the upper hand. here, eating directly represents power

the repetition of “hunger is so heavy” from the men mirrors how we first see them, hungry. but here its so much worse, here they’re so much more desperate. even after whta happened with the sheep before, they cannot think rationally now. they just want to eat. they’re hungry, and that hunger is heavy and it begs them to eat. (also, jorge has said that eurylochus “instrument” in the musical is the voices of the solders. here, them echoing his words reinforces just how desperate and hungry he, specifically, is, as though he is really trying to get it across to odysseus) (ouch)

eurylochus dies the same way he was introduced in the musical - hungry. one of his first lines is him telling odysseus that the men are hungry, and now he tells ody that he is starving. but where the first time he still has the hope to search for food, now he is defeated. he’s giving up. he’s desperate, but he’s exhausted too. he’s trying to plead with ody, or maybe just explain why he’s about to do what he does. he’s starving, he just wants it to end

and finally, zeus looks to odysseus to tell him that the hunger is too great now. desperation is too high. and who pays the price for that? when all of them are so desperate and hungry, will odysseus choose to quench his own needs, or spare his crew and let them feast? where one god used food to trick the men and another offered it as a means of salvation, now a third holds it over their heads’ as a taint - look at how the mighty have come to this

okay. so, uh. yeah.

[ivys-garden]

Hivy, I'm Ivy, and it's time for..

Life Series Alliance Analysis Session Recap:

Scars Snail cam is the best thing to happen this season.

Yes, another week means another session of Wild Life and damn did this one live up to the name. This session's Wild Card was the Infamous immortal snail, an idea originating from a meme that asked if you would press a button to get one million dollars if it meant an unkillable Snail would Chase you and if it ever touched you, you'd die.

This session's snails were far more dangerous though, resulting in far more carnage and downright Junji Ito-Esk descriptions of the incredibly ominous snails. On session 3 there are already 3 reds on the server and, had Grian not called end of session early, we would have had a first player out. So much happened and yet no progress was made, let's see what the teams were up to.

Also, 34 DEATHS WHAT THE FU

The Fast And The Furious (Gem & Joel)

I'm not calling them the family. That name is already taken. And is also lame.

The dynamic duo start the session by immediately forgetting they're supposed to be trying to shake their Villainous reputation by vowing to convince everyone to kill Pearl & Impulse, an incredibly stupid plot for many reasons:

1.Everyone they convince sucks at they're job

2. By gems own admission, Impulse barely did anything to her

3.joel literally forgot about this, since it wasn't important

4. Pearl literally did nothing to her, she was just they're as Impulse was having a rake in there chest (no the poisoning doesn't count, Pearl would do that to anyone)

5. If Pearl is to be punished for just being in the area, then why aren't Cleo & Scott also punished?

6. Gem and Impulse have no interactions this session

7. Pearl and Impulse STILL don't realise Gem hates them

8. Gem repeatedly calls what she's doing “Social Deduction”... no.

Gem actually has a lot in common with Impulse, they're both being extremely ruthless for no reason (if these two become thr final two and there isn't an AMV of there journey through teh season set to Ruthlessness from Epic I will literally eat snow.)

How will this saga end? Idk but it's very funny. keep it up.

Apart from that Gem built a wall, befriended her Snail and neither died. Well done!

(Sidenote about the Gem-Impulse beef, people forget this since he hasn't mentioned it yet but Joel makes it his mission to kill Scott every season. These teams would still be against each other regardless of what Impulse did, which is also very funny)

The Final Girls - (Pearl, Scott, Cleo, Impulse & Bigb)

Oh Deer. That's a lot of deaths very early for the faverouites to win

So to start, Impulse’s Creeper farm is a bust and likely will never be seen again. Whoopsie.

The team also decided to move a smidge closer to everyone else. Due to the snails no substantial progress could be made on this endeavour from most of the team tho, luckily Pearl (after dying to her snail, immediately proving herself as the teams crash test dummy again) was able to get a grip on her snail and get the build started, unfortunately as Pearl is building it is almost certainly going to become a tower…. Oh Pearl also died again building it. What's up with her this season?

Moving on to the perpetual drama that I'd this team’s dynamic, where once again we see the contrast between how Tumblr acts like this team is and how they actually are, with everyone just having a grand old chill time joking around and petting dogs. Crazy to think that a team made of these 5 goober would actually ENJOY when they're teammates cause chaos, Hmm?

A lot of this team's session is actually spent apart, meaning that there isn't much to talk about with them. But Pearl is on Yellow now, meaning she is definitely killing someone next session (an action the whole team is one board with btw). Once again proving herself as the attack dog of the life Series, she asks the team who to hurt. Impulse tries to convince her to attack Ren for killing him, but Pearl shoots this down, once again proving that she is NOT ruthless like impulse. Remember everyone, Pearl might be a little chaos gremlin but she does need a reason to kill or she won't do it. She isn't actually just a murder machine like in double life

That's the funny thing about double life actually. Pearl has moved in from the tower, its everyone else who is stuck in it.

Anyway, grian has a big ol target on his back, we'll see how that Pan's out next week.

Oh also SNAIL RACE HELL YEAH MOTHER FU

The Bam-Boozelers (Scar, Lizzie & Jimmy)

Lizzie thinks snails are arthropods.

Remember when I said Jimmy was the only confident one on this team? Well I guess he didn't have the confidence brain cell this week because he died. He died so much. The entire session for these guys is pretty much just trying to save Jimmy.

This doesn't go very well at all. Jimmy is able to get one life back through a deal with Ren, but all other attempts to intentionally kill someone fall flatter than Scar in session one. At least he does take initiative and blow up Joel's Hidious-Horrible-No-Good-Mobile. Great work big man!

Aslo, Jimmy admitted to being the harvester of the end! The canary curse isn't dying g first it's dying RIGHT before the Finale! That's Canon! I was right! VINDICATION!

The Tuff Guys (Bdubs, Etho & Tango)

Word of advice, if you need to constantly say your tough, your not.

Somehow despite making literally negative progress, this team still managed to do a lot. Bdubs immediately starts the episode with some light gaslighting on account of being bdubs. After this it is decided he must “do something tuff” and so he is sent to go mess with the Bam-Boozelers.

Keeping up with tuff guy tradition, bdubs doesn't do anything. Instead he enlists the Bam Gang to help him make up a story about how totally bad and evil he is. Bdubs is also allowed to come stay with them when the tuff guys inevitably fall apart. An offer bdubs is willing to accept even after Jimmy & Scar get him killed.

In other tuff news, Etho is desperate to prove that he is super tuff and shows up to kill the Bam-Boozelers cows…while they're away meaning he did not have to display any tuffness. He literally just needed to be in and out before they got back. He also takes a second shot at the final girls at gem's request again, and like the first time it goes horribly. The first time he gets distracted by the snail dance party (who wouldn't) and when he remembers what he actually set out to do, the most tuff then he can think of is empty threats and mild littering. C- for effort.

And then there's poor unfortunate Tango, not only does he go to red this session but he also loses his house after being blamed for the cow deaths etho caused. Oh but don't worry he got revenge on scar… in a way that was easily repairable and did no actual damage apart from massively lowering his own reputation.

That is the great tuffness of the tuff guys everybody! They're failing at everything and getting overly stressed about shelled gastropods!

The Spanners (Grian, Mumbo & Skizz)

Grian seemed to think this card would be easy, and I geuss it is if you k ow what to expect and have one of your mates Snail watching you all episode.

Now, Skizz, majestic failure that he is, went yellow super quickly and so the entire session is spent trying to save his but in a multitude of ways, all of which skizz manages to fail at spectacularly. Grian does manage to save Ren from Yellow for about ten minutes and at the cost of any chance he had of Impulse not killing him.

Eventually skizz gave up on all the compilated plots and just wacked Lizzie until she died.

He then immediately got killed again God damn it skizz.

OK so skizz massively lowered they're reputation with the Bam-Boozelers for nothing AND Impulse's revenge meter is full and his team won't hold him back anymore AND I think Martyn might still be peeved at the Enchanter situation AND Tango probably still wants to kill them AND despite what grian says Gem and Joel don't seem to care about them beyond nudging them to kill Impulse so yeah these 3 are super dead, I give them like a session until one of them drops.

P.S Mumbo calls the Snail meme a “thought experment” and I found that very funny and I think you should too.

Also apparently Jimmy and Grian debate what to do about the snail all the time??

Renwood (Martyn & Ren)

There will be a live Snail reaction meme over yaoi of these two I just now it.

Fallowing they're arc of being nice this season, Renwood goes on a great friend finding journey, allying with Gem & Joel on the condition of totally being super mean to Impulse promise and forming a friends to the end Pack with Jimmy at the cost of a spare life.

Ren probably regrets that particular pact as, while trying to perform a great horse search, he loses a life. And another. And so he must kill, allying temporarily with the Spanners to get a kill on Impulse, something that he immediately regrets, proving he is less of a Rottwiler and More of a Labby. Luckily for ren he avoids Impulse's revenge list for now on account of apologising, getting instant Karma for it and the other final girls desperately holding Impulse back.

Martyn on the other hand has a far better time, gallivanting I'm the Nether with etho for potions (he died doing that but shhh), organising the great Snail dance party and joining up with fellow Chaos Gremlins Pearl and Impulse to have some fun with snails and tnt.

With potions in hand the Renwood duo and Etho got up to all sorts of mischief, turning ren invisible and making Scar's Snail invisible, resulting in him almost dying twice and being out of the series…oopsie.

Also Martyn sucks at explaining the Snail meme and thinks the all spice guy and kool aid man are the same person.

Predictions?

With more information comes the first Predictions from me.

●Someone goes out and soon. Probably Skizz or Scar. Jimmy will survive tho, after all the canary curse means he's the harbinger of the end of the series… though with how it's going, next session very well could be the end of the series.

●Grian Is getting murked next session, probably by Pearl.

● The tuff guys will fall apart. Bdubs will buy with the Bam-Boozelers, Etho with Gem and Joel and Tango will be left scrabbling for someone to team up with.

● Joel will try to get revenge on Jim for blowing up the car and will fail

● Etho will continue to look like a total loser

● One of the people yet to die loses a life next session.

So uh yeah. I'm gonna go lie down for until next week.

Until then I've been Ivy, and this has been… whatever this was.

[lady-ashfade]

My Oath

day six of celebration marathon

Percy Jackson x platonic!demigod!reader. (God of the unknown because I can’t help myself, he is a oc of mine for my pjo series)

-£ plot: Your father has learned of a new forbidden child. As his number one he sends you to do his bidding. until your loyalty is challenged.

-words: 1k

-£part two?

-£ warnings: angst, plot of murder, new plot, slight spoilers for readers father in “a love watered by blood”, god of the unknown, (Big spoilers. Reader is sent to kill Pecy) , also the song from Epic:the Troy sagas “the horse and the infant” is what this is based off of.

you were no oath breaker.

you bowed at your fathers feet as he sat upon his throne. the place you called home was dark and misty, your fathers doing, it was a place of mistrust but undying loyalty to him. it was you who was called on often as you served at his hand, you proved your worth as a demigod and you became something more when he took you into his ranks. no other gods dared to speak to him and he liked it that way, no fuss or chatting.

they had many secrets. and he could spill them all.

he hated his “family” and they knew it. wars have been taught over centuries and he picked a side with little care. but he did love secrets and nothing was kept from him even in the smallest corner in the world. every whisper was his to hear.

“what is needed of me.” your eyes stayed on the marble floor beneath your knee, your arms thrown over and await his command.

“i have found a forbidden child, again,” he picked at his nails, his body slumped against the throne.

“a son of poseidon, perseus jackson. make his death quick, but i don’t care if it’s painful.”

you slowly looked up at him, you examined his calm and carelessness behavior. a forbidden child was not unheard of to you, as you have been sent to watch a few over the many years. killing was easy for you, no harm came to your mind as the thought of displeasing your father outweighed any death you caused by your hands.

“tell me where to go.” you agreed to the quest.

earth was a strange place, especially since you grew up in a different time. though you watched the mortal realm in the mirror in your room, finding peaceful places and happy memories being created. but it was a curse, no matter how hard you tried to fight it, when your eyes closed you would dream about the horrors of life. maybe it was a way of life getting back at you for being the cause of destruction— a weapon to be used.

creeping into the apartment building, the widow was not able to keep you out since you had many tools. you’ve done things like this, sneak and kill, return and repeat at his command. you never failed— in fear of being destroyed yourself, a gods wrath was a hard punishment for anyone.

the room was dark and only the light from the moon shined in, making things noticeable. the clothes sticked to your skin from the weather that night. drawling your dagger, preparing to kill your next victim and without causing destress or a fight. but it wasn’t a man you saw. it wasn’t a bed.

it was a crib, a few shells hanging above the babes sleeping body.

stepping back in shock and hesitation you stare at the infant. he was so small. he looked healthily. how is he going to cause any harm? you couldn’t kill a child- a baby. someone unwilling to make decisions for themselves. your doubts and thoughts caused your ears to start ringing, the drums getting pressure built on them.

“I can sense you have your doubts,” the deep voice makes your body shiver and look down at the bracelet on your wrist. the only thing your father gifted you, a silver band with a mirror attached in the center. he could see what was happening anytime without fail. all mirrors are a portal for his eyes.

“He’s just a boy- what kind of threat does he pose?” you kept your voice low and hushed to not awake the mother of the babe.

“he is a forbidden child, you know what that entails. you’ve seen it with your own eyes the damage they cause, the wars started with unfair advantages. that child will grow into a soldier, cause chaos everywhere he steps and gets good people killed. you know I am right.” each point he made was the same he used before to justify his actions.

“don’t make me do this.” you plead. you’ve never begged before, never spared a life in all your years. but never, have you been sent to kill someone so innocent.

“you dare beg for his life to be spared? I have given you a order, so do it.”  your father snarled. not many times were you under his accusative tone. you could hear his voice echoing through the throne room along with a slam of his hand.

“i have done everything you asked of me,” you sounded so small in defeat, “but I can not do this.”

just like that you were willing to risk everything you have built. a place at your fathers feet, above others. a place to live and thrive. and for what? the answer is when you looked at him there is nothing to defend, nothing but a open book waiting to be filled.

“you don’t have a choice,” he roared through the mirror and you could feel the vibration. “kill him, now.” he demanded as his nails scratched at the chair he seat mighty on.

“after years of faithful service, I obeyed every order and command, I live alone each day in a room filled with people. you may have made me for a weapon to use, to do your job for you but I will no longer be a slave.” for the first time you spoke back.

“one day he will die, but not by my hands.” taking the watch on your hand and slipping it off of you, then letting it fall to the ground. the last thing you see is your father shouting at you, his face grim and frustrated. stomping your foot on the floor you break the glass, the item becomes useless.

glancing over to the babe who looked peaceful and wrapped up in a tight blanket. it’s been forever since you were this close to a baby. as a little girl you wished for a family of your own, only you had a life of a demigod.

but looking at him made you sick to your stomach. a pit of anger for the boy who had cost you everything. the world was his to explore.

you were left with no home, no family to go to. and you had broken a oath. you swore yourself to never fail a quest or go against his wishes but you had, for a son of poseidon?— world must have been coming to a end.

you tried to hate him, you really did. but there was no one left to fight for. the decision was yours to make, his life was worth more then yours could ever be. you left quickly after that, afraid you had been to loud.

and one day, you’ll meet the boy he became.

Taglist: @itzmeme @ravenmedows @maria699669 @purplerose291

[eggcats]

I've been listening to the Thunder Saga, and I wonder if Zeus is also asking a question with a right and wrong answer in Thunder Bringer like I think Poseidon did in Ruthlessness. (I have a post for that, but I think Odysseus wasn't supposed to apologize, but to instead acknowledge that he should have killed Polyphemus).

Poseidon had to teach him to be ruthless.

Zeus needs to teach him to stop being so prideful.

Like, yes - Eurylochus did stage the mutiny and killed the cow. But! That was because Odysseus decided not to tell any of his men that they would need to accept 6 deaths to get home and allow them to make the choice themselves - because Odysseus couldn't handle the idea that they might refuse going past Scylla and keep him from going home.

This is even present in the song Scylla. Eurylochus is moved to confess that it was him who opened the bag of winds, but Odysseus keeps his own secrets and guilt to himself. I think none of the men even knew they were going past Scylla at all until it happened, since all Eurylochus says is "something approaches," implying he doesn't know what that something even IS.

Scylla even compares Odysseus to themselves, with his full transformation from man to monster now completed.

You hide a reason for shame You know that we are the same Leaving them feeling betrayed Breaking the bonds that you've made There is no price we won't pay We both know what it takes to survive

But if you notice, once they kill the cow, they start following Odysseus again. Hell, Eurylochus calls him captain! They follow his orders to escape! This shows that their real desire wasn't to overthrow Odysseus, but rather their anger and betrayal at not even having the option to choose to fight over sacrifice.

And honestly, this happened because Odysseus has demonstrated time and again that he will not discuss anything with his men and instead makes decisions without their input (too much pride to ever consider anyone's opinion other than his own).

In Storm, he tries to force the fleets to keep going despite Eurylochus saying that continuing would sink them all. In the same song, Odysseus also decides to go to the wind god without any discussion beforehand, and completely ignores Eurylochus's advice in Luck Runs Out about the inherent danger of going to the gods for help. In this same song, Odysseus also completely ignores the deaths of his men by Polyphemus, and instead brags about none of them dying in the war. (Once again, the pride Zeus mentions, and that Eurylochus criticizes in both Luck Runs Out and Puppeteer).

This is why Eurylochus opens the bag of winds, because Odysseus has proven he can't be trusted to tell him anything that could be important or put their lives in danger. Despite Eurylochus being his second in command, he's never treated as such. Odysseus has never once discussed something with him, taken his concerns into account, made a decision with him together, or even taken his advice. (Even cutting him off as far back as Full Speed Ahead without even considering his opinion).

Odysseus continues to ignore what Eurylochus tries to talk to him about in Puppeteer, and instead unintentionally gets all his men trapped by Circe. He then goes against Eurylochus again in the same song to confront her despite neither of them knowing if she can be defeated. All of this comes to a head when Odysseus does the same thing again in Scylla, except his decision was to intentionally let their men die for his own desires - and Eurylochus had no idea until it had already happened.

And that's why Eurylochus mutinies. He does it because he cares about his men, seemingly more than Odysseus has demonstrated he ever has.

(I'm not saying that Eurylochus has been right this whole time, and honestly I doubt Eurylochus would say the same - but Odysseus won't even listen to what he has to say, is the problem. He has too much pride).

And then Zeus arrives and proves Eurylochus right.

Zeus gives Odysseus a choice - him or his men. Forcing him to come to terms with the very same decision he made during Scylla and expose him for only caring for himself and not the men under his command.

Zeus is criticizing Odysseus and claiming that he's too full of pride to sacrifice himself to save his men. His men of which he is their captain. Of which he is their king. Zeus points this out to him explicitly, leading me to believe that he wasn't supposed to choose himself here.

I think that by taking back command after they killed the cow, Odysseus had taken responsibility for his men's actions. Except, when confronted with those same actions, he refuses to. Much like how a boss gets in trouble when their subordinates do something wrong, a captain should do the same for his crew.

Except. Odysseus doesn't. He fails the test.

And now he must have his pride taken from him again and again until he learns the lesson Zeus was teaching him. Just like he did with learning ruthlessness from Poseidon.

I think the next saga will involve him being confronted with this decision he makes here, and how it was the wrong one, and then the saga after that (perhaps with the suitors? I'm unsure how many more are planned) is when Odysseus will reprise Thunder Bringer and finally be able to return home.

[sassylovermongerbear]

Polites is one of my favourite characters of Epic, even if he barely is in it, cause he is such a genuine kind soul and loyal friend. He is a free spirit that see the good in the world even after years of war and he is trying to help Odysseus to relax and enjoy life after the war. He is his best friend and he does his best to make him happy.

He is so kindhearted that even in death he's still trying to tell his best friend to see the good in the world. In the underworld saga we hear him sing open arms even if it's in a sadder way than the upbeat version in the first saga. All while the rest of his men trash him and blames him for their death when his only fault was to give his name to the Cyclops.

Meanwhile the man that actually betrayed them all, including his captain that he dare called his brother, get to go blame free ? And then keep betraying them over and over, telling Odysseus to leave them behind on Circe's island and opening the bag with the storm cause he was greedy and wanted to get his hand on the supposed treasure. He didn't believe in Odysseus, not once, only listening to him when he got them out of the shit Eurylochus put them in. Even in the cave with the Cyclops Odysseus clearly had a plan but Eurylochus kept punching to ran away when Odysseus proved many time, especially during the war, that he was smart and could get them to win.

And I think Odysseus knew that. He knew that the only person he could actually trust was Polites and he tried to honour his memory by trusting others, by revealing his name to the Cyclops and letting them live. Because that's what Polites would have done, he would have spared the Cyclops. It was his way of remembering him. He tried to go keep an open mind all along but things just never works out cause while he trust his crew, they don't trust him back.

That's why in the underworld saga seeing Polites and his mom hit the hardest cause, while his other crew members blames him for their death, wrongfully so, he is already eaten by guilt, but those 2 don't blame him at all. Sure they are sad but they don't blame him. Which make it worst for him cause he realised that those person that believed in him completely still do even in death, but they are dead and that's the only time he'll be able to see thel again befire he dies himself and he cant even stop to talk to thel properly. Plus his mom being here just show him how long it actually has been since he left which feel far more than it actually been for him in that instant. Yet she still loves him and doesn't blame him, while the 599 other men he brought in war, he lead them and didn't let a single one of them die for 10 years, blames him for their death when he always did his very best to get everyone home safely.

Out of all the 600 men under his command only one was truly loyal to him even in death. Odysseus realised that in the underworld and I think that's what pushed him to turn into a "monster" and putting himself first after this because everyone blames him for everything when he just wanted to get home with all his soldiers.

Polites is my favourite characters cause even if he doesn't stay in the story for long his impact goes far beyond. At least in my opinion, that's just my interpretation of it

[catiuskaa]

G’day fellas, it’s Kats! —the Masterlist.

requests are answered and appreciated!

random prompt list (mainly for requests but feel free to use it and tag me on your own works!)

[♦️ ☆ ☃️ ☆ ♦️]

ot8 series // poly!skz

—[series] the perfume saga. (smut)

non-connected one-shots inspired by some of the frangances/colognes of the brands the kids have collaborated (or just been related) with.

—[series] summertime’s special!

a summer-inspired collab with my pookie @dalamjisung! non-conected one-shots [in between each of ‘em]. lots of fluff and sunshine included!

—[one-shot] white-collared thieves (smut)

gentlemen like them make for a better boyfriend, and minho and han will let you know as soon as you come over… they know first times pave the way for more. [minsung x reader]

—[one-shot] reggaeton & champagne (nsfw)

you knew better than to go down to the club alone, and that guy should’ve known better than to mess with minho and chan’s property. (minho x chan x reader)

—[drabble] seungmo, mimo, siesta. (fluff)

mimo (span.) attitude or state of a person who wants to be pampered and cuddled. [2min x reader]

—[drabble] feat. mrs. lee bahng (smut)

why have a plot when your two gorgeous boys are finally having a short break before the comeback? y’all already know what to do. [minchan x reader]

—[one-shot] i’m trying, but they’re hot! —lifeguards!skz

minho and felix agree to go with you to your usual fitness center, which recently opened a swimming pool facility! (and they've hired a certain group of lifeguards... oh wow...)

—[series] bf!thoughts (fluff):

chan: music to my ears.

being chan’s partner makes music sound so much better, but not coming close to the sound of his laughs. ♡

minho: sway with me.

as minho’s partner, you know he loves dancing, and he loves dancing with you. He won’t say it often, but you both know he loves you even more. ♡

changbin: my favourite.

changbin won’t hesitate to pamper his partner with reasurance and love, because, above it all, his favourite thing will always be you. ♡

hyunjin: out of the blue.

poor hyunjin is so frustrated with artblock. nothing comes out like he sees it! little does he know, his cute muses are right in front of him. ♡

jisung: ticklish, cold water nights.

hannie can be a bit of a meanie if it’s late enough, but he loves you so much, he has to make sure you drink enough water too. ♡

felix: rice pudding!

felix wants to cook on live. who if not you to help? it’s mainly so he doesn’t burn anything—like himself—, but it still makes him feel warm and fluffy inside. ♡

seungmin: clingy denials.

seungmin claims he isn’t clingy. recent events while shopping prove to be a little bit… trickier… for him. not his fault though. You are the one who looks too good! ♡

jeongin: bread bites.

innie isn’t much of a skinship person, but it’s because of you that he has found out a new way of showing how much he loves you. ♡

chan

My Atlantis [We fall] (angst) [good ending!]

you’ve hurt yourself due to his career as an idol, because the media won’t let you be. Still, despite his tries to ‘protect you’, you both have spent the worst month in a long while and neither of you want to continue knowing that you could have tried again.

Level up: Fencing for Dummies. (fluff)

soulmates don’t exist, but why are all these corny memories suddenly in your head, and why is your rival the main character?

you asked me to stay. [Not yet]. (fluff, nsfw)

even if idols 'don’t date fans', there are no rules against a little bit of teasing, and so it happens that Mr Bang Chan here really likes your kind of thinking.

audio creak file.mp3 [1:07] (nsfw)

Chan struggles to make music, and you, his friend and roommate, try to help him when you can. Say, Chan also struggles to keep his cool whenever you’re near… what will you do to help him feel better?

minho

pink in the night. (angst)

he knows it means leaving you at night with your hoodie on, but minho has to say goodbye one last time, even if nothing is fair.

game on, game boy. (fluff)

dating someone from the opposing team is banned? So what? Minho isn’t dating that cute girl with the purple headset, they clearly hate each other! …wait, what? You never said it was her? O-oh… um, well…

had to make sure you'd catch it. (fluff)

no one expected jeongin to be the first to marry in the group, but furthermore, no one expected minho to be the one to ask you first, and certainly not like that.

miss me, miss me, now you gotta… (fluff)

minho wasn’t grumpy, nor he was jealous. but he hasn’t been the same ever since he fell in love with you.

need you to [Lee] Know (fluff)

minho loves you: to him, it’s as clear as water. Its only after he finds out that you’re starting to doubt it—he needs you to know just how much.

I.O.U. [pinky promise] (fluff)

minho’s fear of heights is not alone, because airplanes are also in the equation. but rest assured, lovely strangers like yourself are there to help him.

shirts, hoodies and pyjamas (fluff)

every member knows that Minho’s attitude towards you is kinda mean. Will an impulsive idea change your situation?

shoot on sight [straight through my heart] (smut)

a laser tag encounter will end any truce you could’ve started with minho. And of course, after that kiss…

changbin

under the weather (fluff)

is that a sneeze what he’s hearing? unnaceptable! changbin will take care of his sick little bunny... no chance of escaping.

my knight in comforting armour (fluff)

plane trips feel longer when you can’t use your phone. after a very chaotic encounter, it’s now obvious that playing on changbin’s phone is much more entertaining!

just hold on, darling (nsfw)

there’s a will and a way when waiting for him to log off work seems a lot… just hold on, darling.

this close to begging (smut)

an angsty tension formed out of pent-up feelings. a mix of alcohol, changbin and you might find just the way of solving it.

[these two can be read as a stand alone or together in the order written]

Yeah, Flowers Follow (fluff)

You’ve always been committed to your duty at your mom's flower shop since she got hurt carrying bags of dirt. It was just you and the flowers, until he barged in one day, slapped 20 bucks on the countertop and passive-aggressively asked: "How do I say fuck you in flower?"

Floral Troubles: Tales of Love (fluff)

It’s been hard dealing with your love life with how busy the flower shop has been since the wedding season started. It was just you, ribbons and greenery, until he hugged you from behind, left 20 bucks on the table and affectionately asked: “How do I say I love you in flower?”

hyunjin

charcoal, paint, post-its and tape. (comfort)

seeing your boyfriend’s messy art studio, you couldn’t help but want to try and surprise him with a painting of the most gorgeous piece of art you knew: him.

Untitled. // COMING SOON

an artist’s mind often wanders around and about. ever since Hyunjin and you collided, he's unable to come out the same.

i don’t like my mind. (angst)

there was nothing you could’ve said to him to keep hyunjin away from his thoughts. Not on the night of March 20, 2021.

[Don’t worry about Rome!] It won’t fall. (fluff) // COMING SOON

it was almost ridiculous to think you hadn’t realized it, but hey, no one expected Rome to fall.

The rain falls [the sky doesn’t] (fluff)

rain sucks. for you, to the very least, it’s a major problem. but your boyfriend knows something is wrong, and is determined to help you, because even if rain falls, the sky doesn’t.

drunk-dazed [i’m yours] (fluff)

Felix has tried to help you with your love life, but, as much as you appreciated the gesture, he kinda failed… all the time. Will the latest match with his new roommate break the streak?

horny kitchen [not hell's this time] (nsfw)

whenever you were home, he wasn’t. it wasn’t totally your fault if that had made you believe he was never home in the first place, but it sure had led into an interesting meeting.

jisung

the poem about home. (hurt/comfort)

redamancy: (n.) the act of loving the one who loves you; a love returned in full.

strawberry blond. (angst)

Jisung had been avoiding the truth for the past six months, but now, it’s time to face the storm. even if it hurts.

spots on. (fluff)

you. hannie. embraces. hugs. cuddles, and other synonyms. desperately needed by yesterday. complaints will be declined and ignored.

*cough cough* no, me kisses. (fluff)

he may have lost his opportunity to ask you to become official, but boyfriend or not, there’s only one thing Hannie wants needs: your kisses. All over his face. Right now.

coach or player? (nsfw)

there’s always a time when one just has to know, but is the coach able to risk it and play their own game?

[3:36 am] 🍶 (nsfw)

A sexy meeting with an interesting someone might be exactly what you were looking for a one-night stand.

putting to good use (smut)

you had always been Jisung’s utmost supporter, his number one fan. who could blame his partner for wanting to reward all his hard effort?

felix

this isn’t what friends do. (smut)

you're friends- duh! best friends are close to each other, even if this could be... too close. still, no one can really blame you! that chocolate was far too good anyways.

so effortlessly. (fluff)

felix can’t help it, and he can’t hold back anymore, because in the end, loving you comes out so effortlessly.

[these two can be read as a stand alone or together in the order written]

WikiHow’s on my back. (fluff)

Felix can't deny it anymore. WikiHow agrees, and even if he doesn't want to accept it, accidentally completing every step of the web might just clarify to him what he’s feeling.

[01:43 am] (fluff)

study buddies are always close to each other. Still, exams week is over, so when Felix shows up in your room, a silly UNO game is the go-to for clearing things up… in a meme way.

seungmin

influence and influenza. (fluff)

alas, one should note the difference between influence and influenza, even if one can ultimately end up with both.

GTK: Grand Theft Kitty. (fluff)

seungmin streams from time to time with the boys, and today, you wanted to join in… kind of… but not like he’s going to complain!

new task: valentine’s day. (fluff)

|PROLOGUE| |ACT 1| |ACT 2| |ACT 3|

boring classes, boring classmates, boring assignments… to seungmin, everyone is boring even if he’s used to pretend otherwise, but you seem to get on his nerves. you, your stupid poem, and his stupid letter.

silly little promises. (smut)

unspoken promises to stay away from your brother’s best friend might work for some, but not when kim seungmin is said man.

jeongin

your type (fluff)

It doesn’t matter how pretty you are, because, Jeongin’s been working in that cafe long enough to notice as soon as you walked in: he knows your type.

catiuskaa, november 2024 ©

[petermorwood]

@nimblermortal sent me this last week:

A second blade weapon became increasingly common in the later Viking Age. It does not have a formal name, being often referred to as a fighting-knife or battle-knife, and it was essentially a development of the one-handed, long seax knife of the Migration Period. A single-edged blade with a thick back that added weight to a short, stabbing blow, it seems to have been intended as a back-up weapon. By the tenth century, battle-knives had elaborate scabbards that were worn horizontally along the belt, allowing them to be drawn across the body from behind a shield if the sword was gone; a variant hung down at an angle from an elaborate harness. It seems they may also have been worn on the back - again for a swift, over-the-shoulder draw. Children of Ash and Elm by Neil Price @petermorwood (Mr Morwood! Mr Morwood!) I found an archaeologist claiming people were doing over-the-shoulder draws! Would you care to weigh in?

*****

Would I ever! That's a button well pushed. But things got odd when I tried, because as soon as I'd written even the smallest reply and saved to Draft, this happened:

Letting it stand would have seemed like I was trying to avoid comments, corrections or criticism, but despite poking around in Settings there was no way to turn things on. It was only by cut-and-pasting @nimblermortal's entire original as a Quote starting a new post that the problem was resolved.

Anyone else encountered this?

Anyway, on with the lecture response. :->

*****

As regards Back-Carry / Back-Draw of "battle-knives", I'm not convinced.

("Battle-knife" is a term I've never seen in connection with any Viking Age weapon. What's the Old Norse for it? German "Kriegsmesser" (war-knife) refers to something much bigger from 500 years later, also not back-carried or back-drawn - which from here on will be BD / BC.)

To get where he is now, a full professor, Neil Price will have defended his PhD, and should know such a statement as "It seems they may..." will need evidence to support it.

That phrase is easy to write, as is "According to legend..." and "It is said..." However these are IMO default History Channel phrases, with all the authenticity that implies. None of them actually PROVE what they're speculating.

"Experiments conducted by museum staff wearing authentic armour reveal that IT SEEMS medieval knights could use smartphones."

But does it prove medieval knights USED smartphones? See what I mean?

*****

I first asked if anyone had actual proof of BC / BD on Netsword almost 30 years ago, and to date there's been nothing. I've also posted about it quite a lot on Tumblr, so being poked with this particular stick is no surprise. :->

The quotation from "Children of Ash and Elm" is the first time I've heard of a trained archaeologist making a claim for BC / BD, and the odd part is that Prof. Price also states the weapon was intended for "...a short, stabbing blow" - which means wearing it horizontally in front makes far more sense. From that position it can be drawn far faster and with less telegraphed intent than "...on the back - again for a swift, over-the-shoulder draw."

Reaching up for any weapon carried across the back, whether long or short, is a bigger movement - and thus less "swift" - than snatching out the same weapon worn at the hip or across the front at waist level, especially if - as he suggests - that move is masked behind a shield (or for that matter a cloak, a door, or a half-turned torso...)

Try both moves in front of a mirror with a ruler or even a length of dowel, and you'll understand.

With a weapon-hilt visible behind one shoulder or just a cross-belt suggesting something slung out of sight, what's a Norse warrior going to think when his potential opponent reaches up there? At a moment of hot words and high tension, will he wait while an itchy back gets scratched or until an attack happens?

The explosive violence described in sagas suggests not.

If Prof. Price has solid proof for his BC / BD notion in the form of artefacts or art - and it'll need more than a one-off example - I'll be very pleased to finally see some "show me" evidence.

(It won't do anything for longswords of 500 years later, of course, though I bet the uncritical back-carry brigade would leap on it regardless.)

But without that evidence, I'm taking "it seems" with a wary pinch of salt.

*****

There's a weird internet fixation about BC / BD (which are NOT the same thing) and an equally weird need to show that back-draw "works", whether with hooks under the guard and a leather condom at the point...

... or by being open most of the way down one side.

Neither are real-world historical, so let's see how they work in fantasy.

IMO they're not appropriate there either, because the designers are so eager to provide working BC / BD that they ignore the main function of a scabbard, which is to carry the weapon in something which protects people from the weapon's edges, and the weapon from the elements.

Real scabbards for real swords went to some trouble over that. They protected people, including the wearer, with a completely enclosed wooden, leather and / or metal case, and protected the blades by having them fit into their case well enough that inclement weather stayed out.

This fitting could involve metal collars (Japanese habaki), or tight-gripping lanolin-rich fleece linings, or leather flaps, caps and rain-guards mounted on hilt or scabbard-throat. Real scabbards didn't have exposed metal and weren't open-sided rainfall buckets, because the priorities of actual sword users were very different to those of back-carry fans.

Given the number of posts I've seen about the technical side of fantasy world-building - history, geography, even geology and meteorology - I think this difference is worth noting.

*****

The first time I recall seeing back-carry mentioned in a historical-not-fantasy context was in "Growing Up in the Thirteenth Century", © Alfred Duggan 1962. Here's the extract in question:

Unfortunately Duggan - though according to his Wikipedia entry "His novels are known for meticulous historical research" - doesn't give any cited source for this; his introduction to the book says:

I know the feeling! :->

I'd still trust him more than some modern historical writers who seem over-willing to add a touch of fantasy speculation / interpretation if it rounds out something inconclusive, makes the history more interesting or chimes with a personal agenda.

"Accurate" is better than "interesting", and "I don't know" is better than making stuff up.

*****

To repeat: I've yet to see any museum-exhibit or manuscript-illumination examples of BC / BD ever done For Historically Real with Western European swords, especially the hand-and-a-half longswords on which modern back-draw fans seem fixated.

A seax, scramasax or just plan sax is shorter, but yet again, this is the first time I've read anything even remotely scholarly about them or their later Viking-age version (saxes were associated more with Saxons than Vikings, guess why?) being BC / BD.

By contrast, there are at least three art instances of saxes worn horizontally, on 10th century crosses at Middleton Church, Yorkshire:

The art is backed up by surviving examples with scabbard-fittings still in place, indicating how they were worn. Here's one example, from the Metropolitan Museum, New York which makes that very obvious.

The little decorative masks (originally part of the top of the scabbard, now corroded onto the blade) are clearly meant to be This Side Up, and also show that this scabbard was This Side Out for a right-handed draw, since there's no detail on the back.

There's a similar fancy-front / plain-back / right-hand-use leather sax scabbard at the Jorvik Centre in York.

There's only a single photograph of this bigger one - 54cm (21.5 in) overall - from the Cleveland Museum of Art, with no way to see if the L-shaped scabbard mount is decorated on just one or both sides. However it does indicate the weapon was meant for horizontal wear.

I've also flipped the website photo to show right-hand use, because "It seems..." (hah!) more probable. Here's why I did it:

For most of history being left-handed was unusual, a disapproved-of aberration and the origin of the word sinister.

Left-handers were useless in any formation from Ancient Greece through Ancient Rome to the Saxon and Viking period where the shields of a phalanx, testudo or shield-wall had to overlap for mutual support.

In the Middle Ages, both the specialised armour and the layout of jousting courses were almost 100% right-hand only.

Most surviving swords with asymmetrical hilts, such as swept-hilt rapiers, are made to for right hands not left.

Even nowadays many weapons - including the current British Army rifle (SA-80 / L85/A2) - are set for right-handers only.

*****

The longest saxes are called Langseax (surprise) though this may be a modern-ish term. Here's one from the British Museum, the so-called "Seax of Beagnoth"...

...which is 72 cm (28.5 in) total / 55cm (22 in) blade.

That's about the same as a Roman gladius (another sword never back-worn despite its convenient size) and is a good 25-30cm (10-12 in) shorter than the average "proper" sword of the same period, which means it could be drawn over-shoulder...

However the layout of its runic engraving shows it was almost certainly meant to be worn horizontally As Per Usual.

*****

And now we've come all the way back around to Prof. Price's claim that Vikings did BC / BD with their battle-knives.

Such a claim needs proof.

Please, show me some.

[arcadianmoonshadowjedi]

Callum & Viren: Are they similar? Is Callum on the same path as Viren? - Star Wars Analogies

I know there have been posts made before in the Dragon Prince fandom comparing characters from tdp to Star Wars characters, esp Callum to Anakin/Vader as someone who will eventually get corrupted/turn to the dark side and become a potential apprentice to Aaravos, as well as Rayllum to Anidala in terms of Callum being seen as being bound to doom the world for Rayla.

I wanted to share a different perspective of mine as to which characters/relationship dynamics (outside of romantic ones included) from tdp I believe compare the most to which Star Wars characters as a massive fan of both sagas myself.

The number one character from Star Wars that I see Callum being most similar to is Luke Skywalker, whereas a character I think is the best comparison to Anakin/Vader, especially after watching Season 6 of the Dragon Prince, would be none other than Viren himself. While I do know for a fact that the tdp characters aren’t carbon copies of the SW characters I’m comparing them to, I still think that their overall arcs are quite matching.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Starting with Callum and Luke, on the surface, both are the hero who prevails and saves everyone & the whole world/galaxy from doom, but on a deeper level, they both struggle with a dark side inside of them & temptations to give in to it. And before I continue, I wanted to emphasize that I DO NOT see Callum as someone who’s morally dubious, as there are several instances in canon which prove otherwise, specifically his immense guilt over using dark magic and his fear of becoming corrupted and consumed by darkness in S6 (his nightmare at the beginning of episode 3 perfectly illustrates this), the latter of which is a challenge we also see Luke dealing with in The Empire Strikes Back.

Throughout the Original trilogy, mainly in ESB & Return of the Jedi, we see so many “hints” and “indicators” that Luke might turn to the dark side, who unlike Callum, actually shares many personality traits with his father such as his impatience and recklessness. We see Yoda fear that he might follow in his father’s footsteps before reluctantly training him, we see Vader and eventually Palpatine try to lure Luke to the dark side, even pointing out that they could sense his anger which is a major precursor for that. But in the end, despite all of those temptations, despite all of his anger and eventual fear & rage for his sister’s safety, he ultimately resisted and refused to join the sith.

Along with seeing many protagonists who may be put in similar situations or even in some cases share some similarities with the main/major antagonist, such as Harry and Voldemort being another example of this, this is why I am a firm believer that Callum will be tested in Season 7, he may be faced with temptations to use dark magic again perhaps as a quick means to defeat Aaravos or potentially save Rayla if it gets to that, or even Aaravos trying to bribe him to join him, but in the end he will ultimately resist, since dark magic, as stated several times before, is merely a shortcut that leads to much bigger long term harm (which I don’t think there would be enough time to even flesh this out in the final season of the Mystery of Aaravos arc). As we’ve seen Callum reject succumbing to his dark side after he used dark magic for the first time, and seeing him willingly do the purification ritual to rid himself of his darkness/corruption in his soul, I do believe that Callum has the power to reject dark magic once and for all and do the right thing (this does not necessarily mean he would sacrifice Rayla if the plot does get to that, but I do think he would find a third option aside from dark magic to save her, like he did back in S3 when he cast the mage wing spell to save her). After all, a major theme in the Dragon Prince is breaking cycles and not repeating previous mistakes, so what would be the point in having those themes or specifically Harrow’s letter in the first place, or better yet have the whole “destiny’s a book you write yourself” line be brought up multiple times if Callum’s just fated keep repeating past mistakes over and over again?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now onto my next analogy: Viren & Anakin/Vader, the characters who I genuinely saw as those whose corruption & downfalls may have started out of desperation to save a loved one from dying, but ultimately grew into greed and hunger for power.

I could go on about the complexities of Anakin’s character, specifically the ones that got fleshed out even more in the Clone Wars and how there are multiple factors that led to his turn to the dark side, but that’s not the whole point of this post. I know that there are some differing factors between both Viren and Anakin in terms of their dark sides/stories, but ultimately the last straw that led to their corruption was the fact that they were both terrified of losing an important loved one and both were completely unwilling to let that happen, whatever the price they had to pay. We also see them seek some sort of counsel/beg for help, like when Anakin vaguely told Yoda about his visions and fears, and Viren telling Kpp’Ar about Soren’s condition and needing the staff, ultimately both Anakin and Viren were told that there wasn’t really anything that could be done and they both needed to learn to let go. However neither of them were having that, so we somewhat see them both resort to another counsel, both very different but leading to same outcome. Anakin starts to open up more to Palpatine, who in turn manipulates him and convinces him that he has his “solution.” While Viren on the other hand, may have offered advice to Harrow to “do what he must” over his own dilemma, he in turn used that same advice but in a more twisted, corrupted manner. So then, both Anakin and Viren resort to darker approaches to solve their own problems and completely give in to their own darknesses.

I won’t go into deep detail about what they each did, since you can just rewatch these scenes in Revenge of the Sith and Episode 6 of TDP for that, but now I wanted to talk about how despite having the desire to save their loved ones, they ultimately caused massive harm to them. Anakin desperately did whatever he could to save Padme, but in the end, when he thought she betrayed him, he force-choked her then afterwards, she was shattered and heartbroken over his downfall that it led to her death, the very thing that Anakin tried so hard to prevent. While Viren on the other hand may have succeeded in healing and saving Soren, he grew to treat him coldly and abusively to the point where he completely damaged & even destroyed his relationship with his very son that he corrupted himself completely to save in the first place.

Even though I primarily focused on the similarities between Viren saving Soren & Anakin trying to save Padme, I also wanted to point out how similar the impacts were on Lissa and Padme as well, namely how they were both horrified when they saw what became of their husbands.

Sadly both of them ended up getting assaulted by their corrupted husbands, which then led up to the destruction of their families. And ultimately both Viren and Anakin continued on their dark paths and grew more ruthless, evil, and corrupted until they finally reached their eventual redemptions (I know not everyone thinks that Viren got redeemed but I do believe that his redemption arc was him accepting that he’s done far too much and accepting the consequences for his actions).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So far these are the thoughts that I have on which Dragon Prince characters/relationships I think compare best to which Star Wars ones. And I know that Claudia would also be a good comparison to Anakin since she too struggles a lot with loss and refuses to let go, but at the same time, I see her still being in Anakin’s early villain phase during Revenge of the Sith, not yet having reached the Vader levels that we see during the Original Trilogy era. The way I see Vader & Viren relationships with Luke and Callum’s characters, it’s that the former two represent what the latter two fear of becoming if they do not overcome their dark sides.

But to answer my questions in the header, I do not think that Callum is bound to be on the same path as Viren or that he will let himself be consumed by darkness. Season 6 dealt with his overall guilt over using dark magic, his fear of being consumed by it/being used as by Aaravos, and ultimately his choice to purify himself of his darkness and understanding the consequences of doing dark magic again beforehand. Just as many protagonists get put through the wringer in their final battles, but ultimately persevere and do the right thing, I do believe that Callum will win and not fall victim to his temptations once again.

That’s all I have folks! Thanks for reading this far if you have! And an important friendly reminder (as mentioned already in my bio) if you have differing opinions and would like to disagree and discuss, please be sure to do so respectfully. Otherwise scroll by or I’ll be more than glad to press that block button! 😊🙌🏽

(Screenshot+caption of Lissa scene by @stuck-in-jelly)

[zhongrin]

kopi

no

ansy

brother (gn)

YOU NEED TO continue STOP. PLEASE. i'm flattered but WHY HIM AGAIN. WHY. i'm convinced you know it's actually me and you're just messing with me now. THIS IS THE THIRD TIME. T H I R D.

atp i should just make my teahouse a library because this man will never leave me alone huh

"3 lives, 1 man: meitham" should be that ship's tagline atp

A yandere matchup, you say? Hmm. Let's see...

I'm considered intelligent in one sense, but not in the other sense.

I would rather stay cooped up in my room and gobble expired instant noodles (most expiration dates are a myth, I tell you) than go out in the rain to get proper food.

I use three different towels at the same time because ✨habits✨.

I can speak eloquently in writing, but verbal speaking is another monster I'd rather not touch with a ten foot pole.

I think user AKopi is one of the coolest people in Tumblr dot com (Does that count? I should hope it does... But if not, I suppose you can use this one instead: I'm either very serious or very chill; there's no in-between)

Best regards, █

"Yandere matchup"..??? What's a yandere???

Hex Or Checks:

You received a...

Check!!

I'm sure you can figure out why you got Al Haitham. He's a very ██████ person and h█y his background isn't as straightforward than what people might think! There are groups who genuinely believe he is a re██ca███████n of a— wait why am I speaking in gibberish, was I hexed—

Ansytea: C'mon... Just one more?

Dainsleif: no.

Ansytea: but they're cute!!!

Dainsleif: That eidolon is probably old enough to vote.

Ansytea: ugh, meanie.

[shinjisdone]

𝑇𝜎 𝑆𝜎𝑓𝜏𝜀𝜋 𝛼 𝑊𝛼𝑟𝑟𝜄𝜎𝑟’𝑠 𝐻𝜀𝛼𝑟𝜏 (Vinland Saga; Thorfinn - 𝑺𝒍𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑨𝒓𝒄, 𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒕 3)

In which you have joined Askeladd’s band…and grow closer to the Son of Thors - though as your future seemed promising, his thirst for revenge devastated all that you had left.

[Headcanons of how it would be like to meet Thorfinn again after he shattered your heart (based on season 2; both platonic and romantic)

Sᴇᴀsᴏɴ ₁ ﹙Wᴀʀ Aʀᴄ﹚ is here

Part 1: - (Thorfinn as a slave and his struggles) Part 2: - (Thorfinn trying to accept your existence as a slave)

Tag list:

@luopenis ,��@jinsecho , @mitsureigen , @theknightssecrets , @lana-del-stan , @theghostofanficpresent , @night-shadowblood-writes2

[Mentions of murder, death, war, slave trade, harrasment against women and whatever awful things happened in the viking era. Slavery will be a main subject throughout the entire arc. Mostly gender-neutral examples but female-leaning ones are there, too.]

[This part will specifically mention: nightmares bby, attempted murder, violence, su*cidal thoughts and behavior, blood, paranoia, small panic attack]

Water Running Stronger, Rougher...

Another morning, another time where Einar wonders.

The farm, the Master, the way they are supposed to buy themselves back...

It's still a good while before fall, but the forest is dense and huge. They probably won't be able to sow anything this year, and plowing the earth in winter won't do it any good. So, they'd probably be just cutting down trees and removing roots and rocks now, huh...

The workers are a pain and running to Pater and Master Ketil feels like being a helpless child...well, there is beautiful Arnheid and her laughter...ah, she called his face lovely, would she still agree if he grew a beard-

A booming and startling scream yanked him out of his daydreams, as the brunette rushed towards the barn and rocking a yelling Thorfinn. His arms wailed in the air for something or to get away...

Einar still doesn't know what on earth could cause such nightmares.

"Thorfinn! It's just a dream!"

Breath caught in his throat, Einar stepped back as the short man shot up, clinging on his abdomen and heart. He panted like a dog as his eyes wildly stared into the back of the barn. "Hey...it was just a dream. Nothing's here." Einar muttered, dusting himself off.

"A dream?" Thorfinn repeated, "Just a dream...?"

No, it wasn't.

It wasn't just a dream. If only.

Einar already suggested they might be nightmares, nightmares best to forget if you cannot even remember them properly, but it doesn't feel like that to Thorfinn.

It's hazy but there as it runs and drops from his fingers, like water. There, but hard to catch and grasp.

It's there.

You are there, in the daylight of the farm, and you are there in the visions of his clustered mind.

Why? Why? Again and again he tried to prove to himself that it isn't you - that the slave getting water, cutting wood, feeding the pigs, hanging the laundry, carrying the hay, scrubbing the floor - that isn't you.

You carried weapons. You led the horses to the rivers. You sew his clothes. You cooked hares. You held his dagger for him. You cut down people.

He left you there in York. So you should still be there.

But just as he stared at your figure from afar and just the tiniest bit of hope of you being a stranger settles in his mind, you do something that proves otherwise.

It is you. It makes sense, he mused, as he saw you more frequently in his nightmares.

Holding Onto Any, Any, Anything...

The days pass by as the aftereffects of work thumps in his muscles, leaving aches and scars. Everyday he wakes up screaming, having Einar wake him before speaking to Arnheid and washing his face. Everyday, without missing a beat, he marches straight to the forest, or the field, or the beach - wherever work might need to be done, he goes. It keeps the rampaging thoughts away.

Everday, he stares blankly, eyes hazy as the axe cuts and cuts and cuts. At times you appear, working tiressly as well on orders of the Master, as his murky, brown eyes immediately leave the tree barks and focus on you.

Silently he observes your form, either far away or close to the touch - but all he does is watch. From the familiar color of your hair to the scars you bear. Old ones he knew from the wars and new ones earned from the draining and harsh work. Thorfinn watched your hunched back, the old, torn clothes you wore everday, the way your arms shook at another muscle cramp, when you sigh heavily when all alone.

Sometimes, your gazes would meet.

You would not respond. Whether it was a brief exchange or studying each other for long, it always felt like an eternity to Thorfinn.

It always felt like he was miles away, on the other side of a river as all that he could do was watch you be on the other side. If he dared take a step, the stream would sweep him away to the unknown. Further and further away from you.

This is the closest he can get.

Seeing you everyday...felt like gaining a clearer vision of you killing him in his nightmares.

All I Want Is To Survive It...

For once, he did not see you the whole day.

It began with getting an invitation from the guests, mercenaries who protect the farm from thieves and wild animals. Though Thorfinn and Einar were not theirs, they had little say in where they could go and stay. 'W're just gonna borrow ya for a bit, no worries,' The bodyguards ushered them to climb up the hill as they follow with their horses. Arnheid stayed behind as she watched.

Einar certainly wasn't pleased. The day is busy and has just begun but here they were, getting sand in their shoes as they march up the hill to the guest's abode. A big acommodation with wood fences sloppily dug into the cliffside as a defense and the snickers he could make out when entering did not soothe his worries. Glancing to his side, Thorfinn seemed unbothered.

It was the sight of the Master's youngest son, Master Olmar, shaking in his boots with a trembling sword in his hand that made his heart drop to his stomach. The guests cackled as the man who led them there, a lanky but muscular fellow - Fox he was called - sauntered over to the young man.

"Just as we explained it to you, Young Master," Fox threw an arm around the ginger's shoulder, snapping his other up and down. "Swoosh! Slash! Horizontally a bit higher over the shoulder!" Closing one eye, he mimicked the gesture towards Einar's neck.

"W-Wait a moment," Einar blurted out, "What is the meaning of this?" "Ah, of course you slave wouldn't know what's going on. Ya wouldn't understand anyway."

With a vigor bow, Fox pointed to Olmar. "This is a ritual for the Young Master to reach manhood! It's time for him to become a real man and have his father's respect already! And you will help us."

The men laughed as Fox playfully rose again and could not help but sneer himself. "Die for us, yes?"

...If I Let Go, Will It Be The End Of Me?

"When one wants to be an adult, a real man...they must set aside their fear." Fox twirled about, pointing to the young Olmar and his own men. "When you realize how fragile, how soft a human body is...how easy it is to slash through it, you stop being so afraid. You realize how much power you can hold with one blade alone."

Feigning a heavy sigh, he gestured to the ginger, "So honestly - be good property and do what you're told to do for the Young Master. His family owns you and he needs to grow a spine for his father to listen to him!" More laughter errupted and Olmar meekly ordered him to be quiet.

Einar's face instantly morphed into rage. "Are you serious?! We - We just started working for our freedom! Why do we deserve to die?!"

"Eh? Weren't you listening? You are a slave. A man should be able to do anything he pleases with his property. You don't need to do anything wrong to be killed for. If anything, it's an honor that you help ascend he Young Master into a real man!"

The cackling of the mercenaries boomed, surrounding the two of them, Einar wildly looking around himself. Olmar found the strength to keep his stuttering under control. "They're not mine, Fox. If I kill them...I'll have to pay my father back." "Oh, he has to pay his father back~! Do you hear that, Badger?! After all that we've done-!"

Fox sprung back as Olmar was tackled to the ground. The cackling quickly turned into cheers as Einar tried to wrestle the sword out of the man's hand. "Run, Thorfinn! Run back and tell the Master!"

Fox stared down at the small, almost pathetic match by his feet, his eyes whipping forward to Thorfinn, who stood idly by, blades at his neck. He barely blinked as he watched the commotion, his chest barely rising, his eyes ever so hazy.

Huh. This is almost too good. The Young Master could really have the chance to kill two people today.

The two men wrestled in the dirt, Einar pressing down on Olmar's arm and wrist, shoving the sword into the ground. One knee on his stomach to keep him there and let him breath. If he did anything too fatal, it surely would be over for him and the Master would be all too happy to have him killed. Nevertheless, it was enough to have Olmar's heart racing, gritting his teeth like a beast, scared for his life and defending it. This is a mere slave and yet he is stronger than him, stronger to withold all his might. How on earth is ever supposed to become a man, ever be apart of the king's army-

"You can kill me."

Olmar squeezed his head to the right, making out the blonde, short man standing there - almost bored. With lidded eyes, he looked down on him. "Young Master Olmar can kill me."

Einar followed his wide gaze and whipped his head to him. "You idiot, what are you saying?! I told you to run-!" The brunette choked out, falling to his side as the ginger kicked him off and the other guests keeping him tamed and on the ground. He just was able to get his vision straight, his head pulled up by his hair and stare with squinted eyes as Fox approached Thorfinn.

The man sauntered over to him, hands on his hips. "Now...let me catch that again. What did you say?" He hunched down to stare into the blonde's eyes. Without hesitation, he repeated himself with the same monotony. "I said he can kill me. You only need one, right? I suffice, so please let Einar go back to work. There's a lot to do."

Fox huffed as the men whispered among each other. If Einar tried to intervene, they'd have his face shoved into the ground. "Woah...now, now, Thorfinn. You are sure talking big. Are you aware of what you are saying? You will die here and there's nothing you can do about it. No one to save you."

"I know." The blonde replied, his eyes not meeting Fox's.

"...Don't tell me you want to die." His hand went from his hip to the handle of his sword, pulling it out and pointing it at him. The sheer force brought a brief gait against his rough skin. "'Cause that's just a brave act. Everyone is afraid to die and you're telling me you wholeheartedly welcome it for farm work?"

The tip of the blade dances ever so closely to his neck and chin. Left and right as it grazes his flesh. Olmar feels a shiver run down his spine. "Ah, little Thorfinn...saying that makes our work seem like nothing, you know? Our ware is death and just casually throwing it around while we earn our daily bread with it just isn't right. I can't just stand here and believe you. I mean," Fox snorted, "Even the Young Master here is afriad of other people's death!" Many laughed along as the young man attempted meekly to defend his honor.

"So, do me a favor and be honest in the last moments of your meager life," With a carefree move, he brought the tip of his sword down, slashing Thorfinn's chest, "And be afraid."

Got To Move On, Held On Too Long...

The chest, the shoulder, the leg, hip, and his face...

Einar watched with darting eyes and held breath as blood seeped into his clothes and ran down his limbs. The cuts were shallow, not enough to be deadly, but the mere sight, the way the sword cut through him so effortlessly and the cheers of the men...it made him sick. Made him felt so helpless.

These people could do as they please with them as if they were toys meant to be broken.

"C'mon, lil' Thorfinn! Yell out in pain and beg for your life before your small body becomes even smaller!" Fox chuckles as he slashes more and more. Thorfinn barely bats an eye, he could feel the burn, feel the way it all runs down but still, he feels so empty.

"...Why?" He uttered, "Why should I be afraid of death?"

The guest tilted his head and lowered his weapon.

"Are we living because we fear death? Is there something good to be found while being alive?"

Einar and Fox watched, not noticing the silhouette around the corner of the house. Though, the first was wondering, questions running in his head.

What on earth is he saying? Why is he saying this?

Thorfinn lowered his head, his murky gaze darkening. The earth was nothing but dirt, splattered by his blood.

"Not for me."

"In all my years of living, not a single good thing has happened to me."

The howling wind and the cold ocean below. The salt that would fall on his face, the screams that enter his ears, the insults. The blood on his dagger would feel heavy, the faces of those he saw - allies and enemies alike - nothing but shadows. The warmth he felt from arson, fire burning with pride along the trees and villages, along the people. Gratitude was not found in anyone, lest by him of every day he woke up on that ship.

What good has he ever done or received from being alive and on that ship?

'You're strange.'

He sucked in breath, cold and cruel as if it was his first, and his eyes shot open. Mouth agape, he whispered nonsense to himself. What was that? What...now? Why now?

'You're really strange.'

It halled in his mind, like an echo he couldn't catch. He could not catch and silence it, it came back louder and louder to the point Fox had to shove him back into reality.

'I don't mind helping as long as it's you.'

Not even the cut aimed at his neck fazed him as it leaned to the right and cut off the shell of his ear. The bloodflow was stronger.

"Your eye is next." Fox growled and aimed for it. "Be. Afraid."

"Stop it, Fox!"

Thorfinn's eyey went up to see an older man, clad in a purple tunic, well-groomed with dark hair. His drooped, green eyes observed the sight before him and he appraoched the two. He, as well, had a sword on his hip.

"Fox." His voice was low but demanding. "Y-Yes, boss?" Fox turned his head, immediately lowered his sword and followed the man's movements with halting breath. The steel in his hand trembled. He was afraid.

Just as he called for Fox to come closer, his fist collided with his face - the lanky man fell alongside his teeth. Einar reckoned that sharp nose was now broken. "Now, Badger," He called to another mercenary, "You will now explain yourselves to me."

Sweep Me Away...

The way things took a turn was more than baffling to Einar. It was the most frightening thing he had faced today.

The way this 'Snake' laughed so heartily was like day and night compared to his soldiers who snickered at just the thought of slaves being mauled like pigs. He ordered Thorfinn to be bandaged up, properly, and gave him back his shirt. The men stood in an immaculate line like little children.

"Sorry for all this. My men are real idiots. I hope they didn't keep you from your work for too long."

His smile was bright, Einar noted, but it didn't reach his eyes. Those green, piercing eyes that wandered up and down Thorfinn's wounds. His hands barely moved but in an blink of an eye, he took out his sword, rose it up and quickly blocked the blonde's kick.

Did he see that right? Did Thorfinn just kick this guy, defended himself?

It was so fast, he could barely catch how he jumped back and brought his fists up in a fighting stance.

"Not bad." Snake seathed his sword just as quickly. Not bad?! What are these people talking about?!

"You see that, Thorfinn? Your body defended itself - it doesn't want to die."

Another shock ran through him - the realization, if it was true - and the gnawing, insistent echo in his head.

'I don't want you to die.'

Truly? Why does everything on this earth plan to kill him but never goes through with it? Mocks him with the idea of being stabbed, beaten, having his skull smashed in? Not the slave traders, not the Master, not Snake, not even his own body or Askeladd...

Not even you in his dreams.

"Alright - you useless lot better bring these two back to where they belong. I don't wanna hear having fights or insults thrown around while I'm gone or ya can eat your dinner tonight without any teeth."

"Sir, yes, sir!"

If nothing wants to kill him...then for what will he live? For the farm, for the forest? For what should he keep breathing?

"...Thorfinn...what are you..." Einar appraoched gingerly, finally able to feel and move his wrists again. The way he moved, the way he looked down at his scarred, wounded hand...the look in his eye.

Live...for what?

He looked like a beast.

...Out Into The Ocean...

Pater was kind and Einar couldn't understand it.

Thorfinn sat on the crate, hands between his legs like a guilty child being scolded. He stared to the ground though, as expressionless as ever, as Pater patched him up. "Don't go along with them next time but come to me instead. It's my duty to take care of you, after all. The Master has more than enough trouble with the guests, pranking the slaves like that."

"It wasn't a prank! They really attempted to kill us!" The brunette shouted out, adamant about their nature - of how they viewed them as they looked down on them like cattle. "These people don't care about our lives...killing us would just help them pass the time."

"It can't be helped." Thorfinn lowly joined the conversation - briefly and monotonely, "The strong kill the weak. That's just how things are."

Einar couldn't find any more words to that.

The older man didn't answer. He talked about the open wound on the ear, smearing a balm on it - which he quickly reassured Einar of that it didn't cost a coin. "You should thank Arnheid as well. She- oh? Is that her? No..." Straightening his back, he squinted his eyes at the figure running towards them. He could make out flailing arms and heavy panting.

Einar couldn't help but notice, the breathing loud and clear and choking as he turned around, raising a brow. "Hey...isn't that...?"

Thorfinn followed his gaze and his eyes shot up wide.

The same hair, the same eyes, the same scars, the same look on your face...

His arms snapped up around his abdomen in a hug. Have you come to kill him?

Will you kill him now? End him? Finally fulfill that promise, that purpose in his nightmares so he can finally, finally stop dreaming?

His mouth is agape and only a moment later does he take a deep breath - again and again as it became labored, gaining the attention of both men as you rushed closer.

Making you out clearly, you opened your arms, your grimace as terrified as his.

Catching his breath, he choked and instinctively leaned back, far, far away from you as you were only a step away and threw your arms around him, pressing his face to your chest.

Like on command your panting was cut short and a choked sob escaped. You could finally allow yourself to cry now that you got him. Your voice cracked as you ever so awkwardly shoved him to you, your head on top of his. He could feel your hot tears drop down onto his dull hair.

"...I'm so glad you are okay...Thorfinn...!"

Thorfinn's eyes widened as you sobbed quietly. What...?

What did you say?

Wasn't that...?

This isn't another nightmare, is it? Will you lie, turn away and hurt him? Why...why were you here..? Here, with him, holding him again as you did that winter day?

What if he wakes up? How could he live with it if he were to remember this nightmare?

Swiftly though you leaned back and grabbed his face. Yours was still tear-streaked. "What were you thinking just tagging along?!" You screamed out and his face hung. Eyes wide, chin dropped, mouth open. To Einar and Pater, it looked like a mother scolding her child.

Without missing a beat, you examined his open injures, briskly pushing his head down and gritting your teeth in sheer worry at the sight of his ear. "Your ear! You idiot, you wanna go deaf?! It could get infected and you'd lose it, Thorfinn!" A shaky sigh left you. Your hands on his face, warm and calloused, his big, brown eyes staring at something unfathomable and the way as if nothing had changed. You two are back from once you were, years back when it was just you and Thorfinn.

As if you weren't here, on the farm - but somewhere, far away, just the two of you and nothing else.

Ever so hesitantly your hands slid off his face. He kept on staring, gawk hard to read, both of you holding your breath until Pater cleared his throat. "...How good to know that you talk. I believe there's a lot to discuss."

[aaaah this took too long thoug ive written longer things;;; this one i am not soooo satisfied with or confident but i am so tired rn and dont think i could add anything even if i was full of energy now haaah

still, as pumped as i was for tsawh and go nyooooo on writing it im pooped now and will prbly not post the next part as quickly haha. though this arc is quite demure, it has a lot of quiet action in it with characters making one decision after another and writing all of that is tricky.

still, i am glad i got this out. reader will now begin to actually be a part of the story properly and part of thorfinns life yippie! i really hope you liked this, i know how daunting and scary everything is right now even when i am a non-american and barely talked about everything going on until now. still, i hope everyone keeps on going forward and can find enjoyment in this silly story (that is totally not catering to myself at the same time huehue) even if its just for a moment. i hope i can see you again as i continue this fic and with everything else my brainrot produces :) ]