#and I'm grateful every day for it
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Writing Wrap Up 2022
So... this year I want to take a bit of a different approach. The last 2 years I’ve wrapped up my writing by posting one from each month and thanking y’all for reading, which I thought about but then... it hit me.
I haven’t really posted anywhere near half of what I’ve written this year.
It’s a little insane to me, I’ve posted a shit ton these last 2 years, racked up an impressive word count for sure, but this year was. Different. For a few reasons.
So this is just going to be me contemplating and examining how my writing has changed this year, if you’ll indulge me.
Talking with a friend, the year itself stuck out to me. 2022. 3 years since I started writing at all. To keep the story brief, I wrote my first work on winter break back in 2019 at the behest of my bestie @/freshfruitforrottingvegetables (I’ve @’d them enough times crediting them for this) and posted it on ao3. I’ve pretty much been writing non-stop since. Invader Zim got me into writing, and the community I found there boosted me and gave me an absolutely incredible support system.
But, other than the occasional reblog, this isn’t really a Zim blog anymore. I certainly don’t write about it as much, if ever. Now there’s a few reasons for that, not the least of which being almost 3 years is the longest I’ve had a fixation in a while. I’m amazed it held on as long as it did. Second was... I finished the royalty au. It’s almost hard to remember the beginning of this year but back in March, I posted the last chapter of “Isn’t it A Trial”, wrapping up the project I’d spent nearly two years trying to complete. My first big project.
And it was done.
There were a few other behind the scenes things that led to distancing from IZ from a writing standpoint but those aren’t really the point of this.
For the first time since starting this journey, I was... on my own, so to speak. It was weird, scary at times even. Hell, I’m still very much adjusting to doing entirely OC work. The circle of people I’m posting to isn’t a huge thriving fandom, it’s just my mutuals, and those who’ve come to love the Ocean Idiots crew. I throw in some of my (and @/shmunter’s) ocs in as well, but that’s what I’ve been writing from y’all’s perspective.
As I said, that’s not even a fraction of the stuff I’ve written in my own time that I don't post. Before, I was writing for an audience on some level. They were always stories I wanted to tell, but there was also the excitement of putting them in a pool of collaboration and community. That there were others. Now, these are my stories almost (really key word of almost, I’m not claiming sole ownership of anything) entirely.
So I’ve had to adjust. I’m still adjusting. I’ve had a lot of days where writing had been a real uphill battle for me and I questioned the quality of my work. What does it mean now that I’m writing for a more narrow group? Is there a point to it? Am I less inspired now? How can I tell I’m growing or not? Can I tackle the scope of project I want to tackle next? Each time I think about it, it gets more and more daunting, overwhelming even.
That one post about “Aww did you scare yourself out of doing a project” plays often in my mind. Very often.
It’s going to be a weird year, even few years going forward. Graduation is on the horizon, with the prospect of maybe moving out and making it on my own from here on. I might move away, I might stay home. There’s a lot of unknowns and within that is what I’m going to do with my writing as well. It’s a part of me now without question, but what form will it take? Will I take?
Much to consider.
So for this moment, I’m choosing to focus on celebrating the changes that have happened, the work I’ve done this year. The ways I’ve improved, the small leaps into different original ideas that I’ve had. I’ve had a ton of fun with making aus for just myself and like- one other person. I had a blast writing for my old DND characters too! There’s a lot to be proud of, and that’s what matters.
I want to see what I can do, and I think sticking to some short stories while I shore up and figure out what to do with my bigger concepts might be where I go. Maybe not. Who knows. But at the end of the day, we’ll find out when we get there. Thank you, all of you, for your support, your comments, and your encouragement this year. It’s been a good one, for all its ups and downs.
#melody rambles#my writing#(in case you want to peruse my wares lmao)#ngl part of this was I didn't entirely feel like going through and finding a piece for each month#and I'm still going back and forth as to what I want to do with a lot of my original things that don't have a particular mold or fit anywher#I want people to read them yeah#but post is... a mixed bag#so we'll see#maybe I'll start a thing/blog for writing on a different platform so it's just all writing#who's to say#thank you for reading this btw#the support and questions have meant a lot#I'm very lucky to have what I have#and I'm grateful every day for it
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a tribute to celebrate the finale of the manga that has meant so much to me these past few years
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#yuji itadori#gojo satoru#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#nanami kento#ryomen sukuna#toji fushiguro#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk 271#i would tag everyone but ik the most frequented tags in this fandom smh ghsdhfgdfjs#THSI KILLED ME#3 DAYS#IM DEAD DECEASED IN THE GROUND#i knew the minute i drafted the sketch that i would hate myself for it and yeah i was right#but honestly it was worth it it was worth every single hour#i got . lowkey highkey emotional wrapping this up bc like. what a RIDE it's been#ive grown so much since starting drawing fr this series i owe it a lot im so grateful to the things its taught me abt how i like to create#im so grateful fr the people its let me meet#ik it's not over-over and ill be around while the anime catches up but still something abt the manga ending#i'm sentimental u kno?#so i hope that i was able to convey those feelings#to jjk and to every1 who has engaged with my art for it: thank u <3
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If I could hold you for a minute, Darling, I’d go through it again
For @edsbacktattoo & @stedesearring 💕 Show: Our Flag Means Death - Season 1 & 2 Music: Francesca by Hozier YouTube
#ofmd#our flag means death#gentlebeard#stede bonnet#edward teach#ofmdedit#ofmdaily#ofmd source#ofmd fanvid#ofmd s2#ofmd edit#blackbonnet#ella’s edit#HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMS ❤️#AND A BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAITLIN ❤️#i'm killing two (impossible) birds with one stone by dedictating this video to both of you absolute angels!!#jams i love you so much. you're so incredibly talented and hilarious and kind and amazing. i'm so grateful for you.#if you didn't live halfway around the world i would come over and give you the biggest and warmest hug#thank you for letting me scream in your dms all the time. whether it's about our pirate boys or your writing or cancellation hell™️#and just THANK YOU for being such a wonderful presence in my life#oh and kaitlin. lovely sweet kind kaitlin. the one we all love to call a human ray of sunshine because you're just THAT lovely#your little yellow hearts in the tags brighten my day every time i see them. whenever i talk to you you're just so sweet#thanks for every single lovely word. for every music rec. for every sweet message or ask. what a gift you are. ily!!!#speaking of gifts: i couldn't think of a more perfect song for the two of you than francesca#so i hope you like my little creation that i've put together. once again shoutout to#evil gang 😈
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can you pls draw vash in his really nice cute bra 🥺
teehee yeah i think i can do that :3
(now available at my shop!)
#trigun#trigun anime#trigun fanart#vash#vash the stampede#asks#anonymous#this doesn't read great cuz my style is pretty 2dimensional but i imagine the left cup is just kinda moulded to account#for the grate and not just feel like it's snagged there y'know? it probably wouldn't feel great to have something moving against it#it's not the most exciting or fancy but tbh i think it'd take him so much confidence n Being Nice To Himself to wear smn even that nice#every day of my life i'm thinking about how vash is canonically SO insecure but also he's the prettiest girl in the world??? i love him. sm#also think every day about vash finding out how hot he is and making it EVERYONE ELSE'S PROBLEM when he starts dressing to feel nice#instead of dressing to hide dhfkghdf#the bond between a girl and her delusions about vash and wolfwood postcanon happily married wearing cute little outfits <3 <3 <3
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working on my perspective and foreshortening. here's a celebratory hog
#shadow the hedgehog#sonic the hedgehog#rochedotpng#every day i wake up to new shadow announcements. for this i am grateful#i'm trying out that bromine brush also: really fun!! gonna be my go to doodler#edit: changed where my signature went it was annoying me
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Ooh palettes 🥰 Jasper and Faith in either Malabar squirrel or cherry pie?
@darkfire1177 — [ palette prompts ]
✨ The Unplanned Variables ✨
#at the risk of accidentally making you cry again with my word. I gotta say it#I love you jay#I am so grateful every single day that we met and became as close we did#I absolutely adore you to bits#you are one of my bestest friends and I cherish every ounce of you#you always without fail brighten my days you are always so so much fun and I can't think of anyone else I laugh harder with#I have loved every moment of being by your side since last year and I can't image not having ya around#the impact you've made on me can't be put into words#and god I am so fucking proud of you every goddamn day I am proud of you#you're incredible#thank you for being my bestie and one of the most wonderful people I have ever met in my life#now enjoy some silly art of the rat bastard space girlfriends#faith and jasper truthers come and get ur fuckin FOOD#dual captains au#my art#the outer worlds#captain of the unreliable#friend oc#aly stop drawing characters at weird angles/poses that make me second guess everything challenge#if u see any of my typos. no u didn't. I'm totally sober and not crying rn
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the persona 3 protagonist 25th anniversary nui in food appliances!
#lizzy speaks#persona 3#minato arisato#makoto yuki#guys friendly reminder that this is what adulthood is about dont listen to anyone who calls you cringe#hence why im putting these in the main tags. i mean they're not incorrect for what the photos are about. lmao#anyway this was a very fun birthday!!! i feel very loved and supported by so many people and i got to do very fun things (like this)...#i think... birthday is like thanksgiving to me. in the gratitude respect.#a reminder of all the lovely people that i have gotten a chance to meet and how i've learned from them#it makes me very happy to have been born... i think every day is a great day to celebrate life's grandeur + brilliance + magnificence#it's just a very poignant and strong feeling that i have that i'm happy to have met so many wonderful people#and while there are some people i've only known for brief periods of time or people who i havent really been good at keeping in contact wit#i do cherish it! im so grateful. so happy that there are people who cheer my silly shenanigans on#while there are ways in which aging makes me go “oh hmm” i think overall i'm happy that i get to keep on living and learning#i have so much fondness for humanity and people... like even if i dont get to talk to ppl directly i just get very emotional yknow#like wow.. you exist.. thats so fucking awesome... i hope you have an awesome day... im glad our paths could cross#if you have read up to this point of my tags.. thank you for reading and being part of my life#i will keep on being the silliest guy ive ever known! cheers to more shenyanigans and self-discovery :3
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Much as it pains me to do, I must ask once more for a little bit of help to pay for Peach's medical care for this month.
Peach is my wonderful, beautiful, perfect, sassy, cuddly, loving cat. She's 12 years old, and a few months ago we found out that she is diabetic. I love her so, so much and I will do anything I can to keep her healthy and give her a wonderful life as she enters her senior years, but unfortunately the costs of caring for a diabetic cat are more than I can afford right now.
Thanks to the AI boom, the transcription industry is drying up because if there's one thing these things are good at, it's transcribing audio files. Work has been increasingly difficult to come by—I have yet to receive any for this week—and while I've been fortunate enough to have a handful of job interviews recently, I might not hear back about if I got a position until the end of September. And wouldn't you know it, but my credit card is just a hair away from maxing out.
Here's the current damage, which includes Peach's prescription food ($67), syringes ($19), and a fresh bottle of insulin ($133). Cats can have their diabetes go into remission, and if that happened then we would only need to maintain her diet, but in order to make that a possibility, I need to be meticulous about her care.
I've set up a Kofi goal here ($230 in order to cover PayPal fees) so you can see how much I still need for her cost of care. I know that this is a miserable time to ask for donations and that we are so fatigued on giving already, but I legitimately have no choice. Until I can find work somewhere, I desperately need help.
Reblogs are appreciated. And here's a video of her playing with a shoelace as thanks for taking the time to read this post!!
#fyi this is going to be queued up several times over the next few days and at varied times of day#so feel free to block the next tag if you would like to avoid seeing them#remy's donations#every time i have to make a post asking for donations i take psychic damage because of my level of pride but i'm working on it#i'm so grateful for all of the help you all have given me when i haven't been able to give anything back but fanfiction#i feel like i'm so so so close to getting a job and finally having things covered again but i'm still playing the damn waiting game#long post#fundraiser#mutual aid
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Coffee and you
Maggie and Nina in Good Omens Season 2
#good omens 2#good omens spoilers#maggie/nina#vinylatte#wlwsource#there comes a special time in every young girl's life where she slams her laptop shut and gives up on trying to achieve consistent coloring#such a magical day#this is the hardest thing I've ever tried it took me like. 5 days#my problem is that when I start a new hobby I want to be good right away rather than going through the process of actually learning#but doing this taught me a lot!! it's not perfect but I'm glad I did it anyway#also if anyone can tell me the source of that quote I would be eternally grateful I cannot find it ANYWHERE other than tumblr#it's a very Tumblr quote but maggie and nina's relationship is deliciously tropey in such a fun way I felt like it fit#ghostlygifs
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Superman would not snap and go kill-mode because of a loved one dying, or seeing himself as above us, or any of the other reasons comic-makers always say.
Superman would snap and go kill-mode because living your life with super-hearing on planet Earth would drive anybody right over the edge.
#superman#I sit directly in front of my office's printer and by the end of an 8-hour day I'm ready to carve faces off#Imagine hearing every grating and unpredictable noise in the world with perfect clarity all the time forever#It's a miracle he made it out of childhood sane#Evil Superman's signature phrase should not be anything in the vein of 'Kneel before me' or 'Face true justice'#It should simply be 'SHUT UP'
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i haven't been this not okay in over a year and i do not miss it and i do not want it
#good to know i can still spiral this hard and catastrophize as well as i ever did DESPITE EVERY TECHNIQUE I KNOW.#and yoga. and breathing. and cold water and ice. and logic. and distractions. and thought reframing.#teeth aren't a moral judgement EXCEPT THEY FEEL LIKE THEY ARE#I feel like I'm going to ACTUALLY DIE. ACTUALLY DIE#I was JUST the other day so grateful it's been so long since I was mostly dissociated instead of mostly present and now all I want is to be#checked the FUCK out and also not exist so I don't have to go tomorrow#pull yourself together @ me you have objectively already survived much worse#and you have it much better than it could be#and worst case scenarios are still dealable-with even though they don't feel like it#unhelpfully. all my brain wants to do is tell every person i know that i'm freaked out and terrified and full of shame and guilt and dread#and want COMFORT AND ATTENTION#and it's like bitch you wouldn't even accept it if you asked and they DID give it to you. you are so fucked up right now. chill. OUT.#@ all of you I am SO sorry i'm liveblogging my breakdown today. i'm scared to open my journal and spiral more so this is all I've got#I'll be done with this mode by the end of tomorrow I promise#shh katie
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4 more pages left..
I think exaggerating expressions, more dynamic and weighted poses, and line variation will be my focus for my next sketchbook. I also want to get over my lil fear of overlapping sketches cuz I actually really like that look. For any of y'all that were maybe even possibly curious teehee~
#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#f!leo#rise leo#rise raph#rise donnie#f!mikey#mutant mayhem leo#bad future rottmnt#wrong fabricated time branch#no think sketches#i think i'm getting to the point where i'm just grateful i still have a way to draw the turtles every day so...yay!#:)
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I didn't have a Tumblr account when the scandal started. I actually created one around the end of May 2023, a little before Build had his comeback concert. However, I had a Twitter account, which means I saw everything: I saw Build crying at the sponsored event he had with Bible, I saw the confusing translations, I saw the official announcements, I saw all the hate and vitriol, I saw Poi's unhinged behavior, I saw it all. Those were some of the worst months of my life. Build's story felt personal. Not only because Pete became so important to me, not only because KinnPorsche the Series became a second home, but also because his story was similar to what I'd been through. I was experiencing my previous relationship that finished a mere few months before the scandal started all over again, and it fucking hurt. It hurt seeing him get so much hate. It hurt seeing people celebrate him leaving BOC. It hurt seeing him at the verge of tears outside the court house and it hurt not knowing if he was ever going to come back to acting or to the public eye at all. It still hurts. It's something that is never going to stop hurting. To me, this story has been over since last year. I knew he was innocent already, I didn't need the court decision to tell me that. But what happened today reminded me of something I'd always known but temporarily forgot: it was never over for Build. It will never be truly over for him. Today was a much needed victory, one he deserved a long time ago, but the scars this whole thing has left on him will remain there. And that's also something that hurts me and will never stop hurting me. I'm glad, too, Build. I'm glad you're still here and that you have your fans to support you. And since I'll probably never be able to tell you this up close, Thank you for giving me Pete. Thank you for everything.
#I'm so emotional rn#The first month was pure agony#I was waking up every day stressed about the next update#anxious that I'd wake up to find out he'd taken his own life#I'm so so grateful that he had the support he needed to fight this I'm so fucking relieved#I was debating over making this post but I couldn't remain silent#I just love him so much#take care of yourself Build#and thank you once again#build jakapan
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Started the left-handed nrmt smooch altho I don't know if I'll be able to finish it today (kinda resting every 15 mins or so bc back aches ow) but just so you know I decided to add hands to the mix so yes I have officially lost it. Also it's 7y gap. Predict bad puns on my part.
#peri update#to be fair whatever I do my back aches so it's not just bc I'm drawing - I never had such problems bc of it anyway#I just kinda lay down for a while every now and then#just gotta bear it until it passes#i'm just grateful i can draw this little bit a day at least#even tho i need to fight with my non-dominant hand haha
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Me, episode 1: Oh, a relatable protag! And a relatable female protag, at that. Sweet! That never happens.
Me, a few episodes in: Wait, the protag really is going to be my character? The one I identify with the most? Seriously? It's not going to be a strange, at least somewhat sinister, seemingly hostile male side character? It's gonna be a female character and the protagonist? That's insane, that literally never happens... what's the catch??
Me, more than halfway through the season: ... huh, I guess Maomao really is it. Okay, then ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Me to myself, after episodes 22/23:
#i let my guard down#i should have known#like really i should know better by now lmao#that's probably the best depiction of prosopagnosia i've seen in fiction ngl#also luo//men's suggestion re: using other attributes to tell people apart??#A++ approach what a guy#mine isn't nearly as severe but i totally use footsteps/gait/mannerisms as my primary means of distinguishing people#the very few people i care about i can definitely recognize by facial features#and people i see frequently; though i do have trouble recognizing them if they appear in a context i'm not used to#like. if i were to see one of my sword classmates at my workplace for instance i would have trouble recognizing them#but anyone else? forget it#the most difficult part of working veterinary front desk was returning animals to their owners#bc even though i could have /just/ spoken with the owners like. ten minutes ago#i couldn't tell you which animal belonged to which owner#faces just don't register with me#dogs were easier in that i'd just let them lead me to their owners#but if it was a cat in a carrier i was fucked lmaooo#it's why if there was another receptionist working i'd let them handle any hand offs XDD#i don't remember most of my childhood but i have some very vivid impressions of moments like#my mother asking me to go give a cash tip to the hairdresser who did her hair and me being unable to pick who it was out#of everyone that was working even though i'd been there with them for two plus hours.#or like. taking the school bus home and being unable to recognize my bus monitor and so getting on the wrong bus#and also getting ridiculed about this by my parents lol. ah good times.#on the other hand i can easily recognize a dog i've met once or twice even years later. and remember their name.#i think it all mostly comes down to disinterest for me. i've tried to change this but it's just how i am#so. he's very relatable. painfully so#also the pragmatism and rationality and hyperfixating on things.#i've never hyperfixated on another person tho and i am so grateful for that every single day#i know in my bones it would be an absolute disaster XD#withoutwords
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*stares at the camera in ehlers-danlos syndrome*
#cw:#ehlers danlos syndrome#every month man#thank god for ketamine and pot because no other painkiller I've ever tried would touch it#and I am including opiates in that statement#I used to take a muscle relaxer every month#but that would make me sleep for literally like 14-15 hours and make me groggy for days#and it wouldn't start working UNTIL I was asleep so I'd usually end up drinking like half a bottle of wine to get there#it was really really unhealthy but when I say that level of pain makes you absolutely nonfunctional#I am really SO grateful for marijuana it is a GODSEND when I'm like this#it loosens up the muscles enough that I can push the bone back in with a foam roller#I've had some people give me shit for ~illicit drug use~ and it's like BELIEVE ME when I say this is the healthy option#just let patients with chronic pain take drugs okay
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