#and I’ve got work for the next 7 nights straight so I’m already pretty stressed here

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

[my-tin-can-mans]

She Knows Part 2, (Wolffe x Reader)

OH BOY. First I'm sorry this took me so long I've been busy with college. But! this is the longest fic or anything really I've written so wow. Hopefully you enjoy.

Warnings: angst, mentions of Alcohol, mentions of cheating slight smut (minors do not interact or read).

Note: italics are flashbacks

“So, what do you usually do during leave?” the question threw you a little of guard. You’d been stationed with the 501st for four months now, four months since you’d broke it off with Wolffe after… everything. You had been the head medic in the 104th battalion, but quickly put in a request for a transfer after the humiliation Wolffe had put you through. The only position available was with the 501st, working under their head medic, Kix. It was a demotion sure, but honestly it took a lot of stress of your shoulders and well, anything to get away from the situation you were in.

Working with Kix almost 24/7 forced you two to grow close and form a close relationship. It was more of a brotherly/sisterly love than anything else, though others saw how well you two had worked together and insisted you would make a good couple, you both were comfortable where you were, which you were grateful for, it was nice to have a friend as kind and understanding as Kix.

Tomorrow the whole battalion would be stationed on Coruscant, the general had some jedi duties to attends to and the war was at a standstill for the moment, giving the men time to relax instead of being thrown under another general for a while.

You had been checking bacta supplies when Kix happened to spring this question on you. Freezing your hand in motion as you had begun to type up an order to restock while planet side. You’d never actually had a leave without Wolffe. Most of the time on leave was spent in that dark corner of 79’s, the other half in a hotel bed.

“Mesh’la, come on, up. I promised the men we’d meet them tonight for a round.”

“But I don’t wanna go Wolffe can’t we just stay here? The sheets are so soft and I don’t feel like wearing clothes.” You’d whined.

“I already told them we would be there, now come up before I drag you out of bed.”

“you wouldn’t,” you peeked your head out from under the covers, narrowing you eyes at him, he stood at the foot of the bed, wearing his blacks sans shirt. He himself had just untangled from you and the sheets. How he had the willpower to do so you had no clue. He dawned his famous predatory smirk on his face

“Are you questioning my word Mesh’la, because you know I always keep my word.” He took a step forward, his thighs now touching the mattress.

“of course not Wolffe,” you gave him a sweet smile, “but I bet I could change your mind.”

“oh?” he raised an eyebrow. “do tell.” He placed his hand on either side of your feet, leaning over the bed

“why don’t you come up here and find out.”

With one swift move Wolffe was on top of you now and you brought your hands to his face pulling him in and kissing him, it was rough and passionate, you really didn’t want to leave and you wanted him to know that, hoping he would see how desperate you were and decide to stay. But after a few moments he pulled back, looking down at you with that damn smirk again, “that was quite convincing.”

Before you could retort anything Wolffe had left from his position on top of you, yanking you up to your feet in the process, “but unfortunately like a said before, I am a man of my word and I already gave it to my brothers, sorry mesh’la but you’ll have to show me your negotiating skills another time, I promise ill make up for it.”

“To be honest Kix I’ve never really done much with my leave time, ya know? I just kinda destress and go out every once in a while.”

“Oh? Well do you have any plans for our first night off then? Me and a couple of the boys are gonna be at 79’s if you’d like to join.”

The mention of 79’s made your heart skip a beat. You hadn’t been back there since you’d found out about Wolffe. “I don’t know Kix,” you sighed, 79’s was a clone bar, and also a favorite hangout spot for the man you had been trying to forget about.

“oh come on, you think Jesse’s a horrible flirt now, just wait till you see him drunk, you’ll be laughing so hard your stomach will be sore in the morning.”

You snorted a laugh in response, Jesse and you were also pretty close, but he was notorious for always trying out stupid pick-up lines on you, he took every opportunity he could to flirt with you, even when he had gotten injured and you were stitching him up, “you look so pretty when your concentrated.” He had said.

But the issue at hand still itched in the back of your mind, what if Wolffe was there? Going back to your holopad, typing up the order you were previously working on to make yourself seem less concerned about your next question you asked him, “the 104th isn’t on leave right now are they?”

“no I don’t think so, why?” Kix had since turned around focusing on organizing medical supplies to help you order.

“Nothing, just, ya know making sure.” You’d told Kix about what happened between you and Wolffe. Just about every clone knew you two were dating, Wolffe always had to make it known you were his. So Obviously everyone was curious as to what had happened.

He turned and looked at you, realizing what you meant, “Oh Kriff, this is your first leave without him isn’t it?”

You nodded, too afraid, after months of finally getting yourself together you didn’t want to revert back to breaking down again.

“Hey listen, if you don’t want to be there I understand. But maybe it would help ya know? We’ll all be wasted you’ll totally forget about him I promise we’ll have a good time.”

It was very convincing, you’d seen the 501stparty and 79’s before, they went hard, unlike Wolffe who was usually more private and reserved. That didn’t mean you two still didn’t have fun in your own way on leave.

Much to your dismay you’d put on a dress and Wolffe had dragged you to 79’s anyways. The second you’d stepped into the place the music and dark lighting consumed you. It was loud tonight. The 501st was celebrating a successful occupy over a separatist world and you could tell. The blue armor was spread throughout the crowd, some at the bar hitting on the women already occupying it, and some on the dance floor.

You wished Wolffe danced more with you, you loved to dance but he only ever accompanied you once, and that was after a drinking competition with Thorne who was hard to beat. He didn’t even remember it in the morning.

Without a second glance to all the men, Wolffe grabbed your wrist and led you back to the booth he always sat at. Instead of the usual commanders, Sinker and Boost sat there awaiting their commanders arrival after being promised a drink with him. You slid into the booth and Wolffe sat right up against you.

He was broad so he took up most of the space, he always presented himself in such a way that he was always there, chest puffed out, shoulders broadened and head held high. When he got situated he spread his legs, taking up more space and knocked his with yours. The two of you practically sat in each other’s lap with how close you were to each other. he placed his hand on your thigh, resting just below the sundress you and reluctantly put on earlier.

It was a last resort to get him to stay in with you. It was his favorite. The first time he saw you in it he’d practically kneeled before you, although you were sure he was just trying to get a peak underneath.

Four shots were already at the table when you two had arrived and Sinker, who was sitting in front of you, had passed one your way while Wolffe grabbed his own downing it without even flinching.

As the night drove on, the men began to become tipsy and Wolffe’s hand grew higher and higher. It was when Boost was at the climax of telling you a story from before you had signed on with them that Wolffe finally breeched your center, rubbing his index finger over the already wet spot in your panties.

You jumped, not expecting him to be so bold as to touch you in front of his men. You turned to look at him but he was looking straight on at Boost, absolutely engrossed in the story he was telling. Without making eye contact he leaned over, giving you a small peck on your temple, while at the same time, he pushed you underwear over to the side and slipped a finger into you.

His face was flushed, from the alcohol or the devious act he was performing you couldn’t tell. It was probably a mix of both. Wolffe rarely showed PDA in public especially in front of him men. So you were practically in shock with what was happening right now.

You went to grab a sip of your drink while he slowly pumped his finger a few times before deciding to add another. You let out a chocking noise.

“Hey you okay?” Sinker seemed concerned at your reaction.

“Yeah, yeah just fine, drink must’ve gone down the wrong piper there” you tried to play it off.

He bought it just fine, resuming the conversation that had started up after Boost’s story. When you turned to look at Wolffe again he was wearing that shit eating grin he often dawned and maker you wanted to wipe it clean off.

When Sinker and Boost were distracted enough, Wolffe leaned into you, “come on now mesh’la, I did say I'd make it up to you, and as I recall we’ve already proved I’m a man of my words.”

“Well I guess a few drinks wouldn’t hurt.” You thought back to all the times you’d seen blue armor on the dance floor and envied the fact you hadn’t been there as well, “but I better get a couple of dances out of you guys”

Kix chuckled, “I can promise you, if you stop by for long enough those men will be fighting over who gets to dance with you next.”

You bellowed out a laugh at that. The thought of Jesse, tup and the rest fighting over you was quite the scenario. “Just comm me what time you boys are gonna be there at.”

He nodded his head in agreement, both of you chatting lightly about other topics as you finished the order.

****************************************************

The ship had landed a few hours ago, longing for a good night’s sleep you had left the barracks for the stay, packing up your necessities and checking into a hotel a few blocks out of the main traffic for some peace and quiet.

As you were getting ready for your night at 79’s Kix had sent you a comm message, letting you know they were on their way and would be arriving in 10 minutes. All you had left to do was dress yourself. You rummaged through the bag of clothes you had. It wasn’t much, mostly GAR issued scrubs and a few dresses. You heart stopped when you saw the dress though. The one that was always Wolffe’s favorite. You picked it out, holding it up so you could see the whole thing.

Kriff. This dress brought back so many memories. It almost hurt to look at it. if you were being completely honest with yourself though, you did look damn good in it. screw it you thought. Time to make better memories in it.

After you slipped the dress on you hailed an air taxi to 79’s once inside you scanned the bar, looking for the men who were going to take up your evening. You spotted them at the bar ordering drinks and from the looks of it Jesse was already on his shit and flirting with the bartender.

You walked up to them and their heads turned. Jesse let out a whistle, “Damn, look at you! If I didn’t know any better I'd say you were trying to entice me.”

Kix shook his head at that. Putting his face into his palm. Tup who happened to be standing beside Jesse elbowed him to which Jesse frowned at. “Could you not flirt with my favorite medic?” he turned to you, “you look nice by the way, but not in a creepy I want to get with you way like he meant.”

You let out a giggle. You were already having a great time and you hadn’t even been in the building for five minutes. You took a seat at the bar between Kix and Jesse, Tup to the other side of him.

As the night ticked by you happened to get pretty tipsy, never getting truly drunk for fear you couldn’t make it back to your hotel safely. The men held their alcohol well though and although they were drinking twice as much, they were probably the same level intoxicated as you were. You all stayed at the bar, cracking jokes and telling insane stories, often Jesse would flirt with you or the bartender but it wasn’t too much and you both welcomed the light heartedness attention he gave.

An hour in you heard a voice behind you, “Hope I didn’t miss too much.” You swiveled in the bar seat, turning around to be face to face with the captain of the 501st.

“Captain!” Kix exclaimed, “what took you so long?”

“Sorry boys had a few reports I needed to fill out before the night ended.”

“Well, were glad you here now.” You said.

You got up to give the captain a hug. Something you defiantly wouldn’t do sober, but the alcohol had given you a little confidence. Rex looked surprised by the affection but embraced you anyways. He leaned down and you put your chin over his shoulder patting him on the back staying like that for a second.

It was then that you wished you hadn’t hugged Rex, hadn’t drank as much to give you a confidence boost, and hadn’t stepped a foot in this maker forsaken bar again.

He sat there, in the seat he always sat in when he came here. Only this time he wasn’t with any of his troopers or the other commanders. This time he was with another girl. She was a purple Twi'lek and she was drop dead gorgeous. And the dress she was wearing, or lack thereof because of how tiny it was , made you look like you had just picked yours straight out of the garbage. And you couldn’t help but wonder.

Was that her?

“Kriff Wolffe, what the actual Kriff!” you screamed, you didn’t care about the other guests in the hotel, you were so mad you were practically seeing stars.

“I'm sorry mesh’la I'm sorry I'm so so sorry.”

“No. No! don’t you dare call me that right now. I can’t – I don’t even have words for you right now.”

“please, please let me explain,”

You whipped you head around to him, seeing a whole new layer of red. “Explain? What is there to explain Wolffe. You cheated on me then proceeded to not tell me while apparently everyone else knew and I found out through one of your brothers! Isn’t that enough of an explanation.”

You sat down on the bed, head in hands. He kneeled down in front of your feet. Placing his hands atop of your knees. “I'm sorry.” He whispered. You slapped his hands off you, the thought of him touching you after another woman practically revolted you.

“you already said that.”

“I know, and I mean it I am, it was a mistake, I- if I could take it back I would, Maker I- I hate myself for letting it happen.”

“you should hate yourself.”

“I do, I do. Please, tell me what I can do to make this better.”

For a man who was supposed to be well tactical he kept making all the wrong moves.

“Wolffe there is no making this better. What’s done is done and now it's time to move on.” you finally made your decision, after debating back and forth in the air cab on how to react.

“Yes of course let’s move on, it was in the past but I love you Mesh’la I want you that’s all.”

Kriff that’s not what you meant. “No Wolffe, I mean I’m moving on. from you. I- I can’t continue to be with someone who has done what you’ve done. It's- it's not fair to me.”

By this point tears were strolling down your face. You turned your head to wipe them, not wanting him to see how much he had broke you. “no, no please I- I love you please we can fix this we can work this out please just stay I- I need you.”

“I love you too Wolffe, but there is no fixing this. I loved you so much that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, I gave you everything thing, I gave you all of me and you took that and you stomped on it, you might as well of placed my heart in a dumpster and set it on fire.”

He put his head in your lap. A single tear rolling down his face. “please, please don’t go, I'm so sorry.”

“I know Wolffe. But I can’t accept your apology.”

Your head was pounding. He wasn’t supposed to be on Coruscant right now. Kix had said so himself. You pulled back from Rex. He placed his hands on your shoulders his face blocking the view of him. He smiled warmly but his expression quickly changed when he saw yours.

“you look like you’ve seen a ghost” he joked.

But you facial expression didn’t lighten, in fact it only got worse. With every waking second, every harsh beat of whatever hit song was playing over the speakers you drew yourself inwards more and more.

“hey hey what wrong?” Kix had left his seat at the bar quickly coming to your side. Him and Rex both dawned a look of concern.

“You said he wouldn’t be here.” You turned to Kix, channeling you emotions onto him.

He looked confused at first, but the realization hit him and he turned his head to look over Rex’s shoulder. Rex followed his line of vision and they both saw him. Sitting there in the booth, while the woman clung to him, practically in his lap.

She was kissing his neck, which honestly surprised you, Wolffe was never one for public displays of affection. Or maybe that was just with you. Because he seemed to be enjoying this.

Rex turned around to face you again, a look of panic and empathy on his face, “Kriff I'm so sorry I- he was on a solo mission with General Koon and they’re stationed here for the night so I told him I’d be here. I'm so sorry, it was an honest mistake.”

It wasn’t the first time you’d heard that from a man in this room.

You felt like the whole room was spinning, be that the alcohol or the nervousness and upset that came with seeing him again you weren’t sure. All the men you had come here with were suddenly surrounding you with sympathetic looks and it felt like someone had placed a spotlight on you and you just wanted it to go away.

This night was meant to help you forget him, be happy and have fun with your new assigned battalion. Kriff was the so much to ask for!

“hey hey come on now,” Jesse finally broke the silence, “forget about him! If I remember correctly I promised you a dance earlier?”

This made you finally break out of your trance. You needed a distraction, and had been waiting for someone to dance with all night.

“actually I would love to Jesse.”

“right this way then”

He held out his hand for you and took you to the dance floor. The song that was playing was loud and upbeat, you and Jesse moved together to the beat, it was fun and you really enjoyed it, when the beat of the song dropped everyone on the dance floor was jumping to it, you and Jesse did the same

When the song stopped, you were practically out of breath, you let out a laugh of relief, actually feeling a little better. You looked up are Jesse and he was smiling at you.

“Feeling better, huh?” he asked.

“A little, thank you.”

A few second later another song had come on. This time it was more slow, the partners on the dance floor started to grab each other.

Jesse grabbed your waist. “Come on huh? let’s give that son of a blaster something to look at, plus this might be the only time I get to be this close to you, despite my attempts” he smirked at you.

You nodded your head, letting out a giggle at his lame excuse to flirt with you again. You wrapped your arms around his neck and he pulled you in closer, your chest practically touching his. And finally you both started to sway to the beat.

A few seconds in Jesse started rubbing his thumbs on your hips, trying to calm your nerves, and it worked. Caught up in the music you started to lightly grind your hips into his, although it was soft guarded by his armor, he still took notice to it. smirking at you and grinding in time with you. His hands started to rise, growing closer and closer to under your breasts, but never reaching, knowing he would be crossing a line, and although Jesse was a flirt, his last intention was to make anyone uncomfortable.

He nuzzled his head into the crook of your neck. You could feel his breathe on your skin, and his nose rubbing up and down. He placed a soft his on your shoulder and the next thing you knew you were being turned around. His hand were back on your waits, but his cheat was now pressed up against your back. He gave you a harsh grind into your ass and you gasped. His arms now wrapping around you, pulling you impossibly tight into him. His head resumed its spot into your neck.

“is this okay,” he whispered into your ear.

“yeah.” You breathed. He kissed you neck this time. but it was just one short one, it was slow, and hot, you closed your eyes. he placed them all the way up your neck, all the way up to your jaw. All the way close to your mouth, and he whispered again, is this okay.

You nodded your head, eyes still closed and you turned you head towards him a little encouraging him. And his lips met yours.

You hadn’t kissed very many people. Wolffe giving you the majority of your experience. and although they were clones, they felt completely different. When Wolffe used to kiss you he practically stole your breath, he put everything he had into kissing you, and it was almost always hot and it made your insides flip, no matter how many times he kissed you, you always felt dizzy and perfectly happy, like his kissed could cure any problemed you had. To say Jesse was a bad kisser would be a lie, it was a good kiss, but it almost made you feel the opposite, all you could think about was Wolffe.

And when the song ended and you opened your eyes you were facing him again. Him. And he was sitting there with his lounge practically down the woman’s throat. And it hurt, hurt to know that he didn’t even acknowledge you. Hadn’t even cared that the person he once begged to stay with was with someone else now. Even though you weren’t actually. It hurt that he used to kiss you like that and now he was kissing someone else like that.

you weren’t sure if it was the beginning of the next song, or if your head was going fuzzy, but all you could hear was ringing in your ears. Jesse had unwrapped his hands from around you and the moment he did you sprang towards the doors of 79’s.

you heard the faint sounds of Jesse, rex and Kix calling out for you but you couldn’t be bothered to hear what any of them had to say. You left the building and walked a few blocks. Finally coming across an empty alley. You pressed you back against the cool metal of the building you were beside and let out a breathe. The air was cool and crisp against your skin, but it felt good.

After all the time you spent forgetting about him you were practically back at square one. And it pissed you off. How dare he have this effect on you.

You let out a sigh, gathering your emotions. And when you finally felt calm enough you went to comm Kix, letting him know you’d be going back to your hotel for the rest of the night, but you were interrupted.

“Mesh’la.”

ending notes: soooo, im not sure if im gonna do another part on this or not, i have some ideas for other fics but im kinda cramped on time at the moment so we shall see.

Tags

@fandom-garbage @dionysuskid21

[mystic-sky]

A fan fic of Gojo Satoru inspired by the song Heaven by Julia Michaels 😭 I enjoyed your writings 🥰🥰🥰

The moment you met him was ingrained into your brain, even years after you both parted. It had been raining that day, possibly 7:30pm, and you were held up in a cafe for shelter. You had been dosing off a bit after your classmates left you an hour or so prior. You regretted staying up so late to watch that sit-com the night before. But it was a Friday, and you didn’t have class the next day. The paper was finally finished and you proudly packed your things together. You kept fantasizing about how your efforts during the week were soon to be rewarded by slumber. 

The sound of thunder brought you back to reality within the quiet coffee space. 

“I guess I should sit back down,” you said to yourself. You were standing by the glass doors and ready to leave, bag over your shoulder. You held your book in one arm before fisting the sleeves of your sweater. The one time I forget my umbrella, you thought.

There was something soothing about watching the busy streets of Tokyo while rain hit the window screen. You felt yourself unwinding, relaxing in place. Sometimes your school and work life felt so hectic. It was nice to slow down  from time to time and breathe. 

“Man, you don’t have an umbrella? That sucks.” An incredibly tall, white haired male spoke beside you, snapping you out of your zen moment. 

You turned your head towards him, and he wasn’t even looking at you. He wore a thick black sweatshirt,  black jeans and dark boots. He had thick black shades on, and surely an umbrella in his hands. He had a gorgeous profile, and his jawline was extremely defined. Was he some sort of supermodel, you thought.

“Yeah, I know.” You say, sighing to yourself. You were partially offended, but mostly tired. He was handsome, but you didn’t have time for flirting. You just wanted to go home and run a hot bath. He looked like he was going to break your heart anyways.

“It says the rain is going to stop within the hour on the weather app.” He said, scrolling and tapping away at his phone. “You goin’ to the train station?”

“Oh, yeah.” You say shyly. You nervously tucked some hair behind your ears before looking straight ahead. Why the fuck was this supermodel speaking to you?

Granted, it was hard for you to stop looking at him every so often.

“Like what you see?”

You blinked at him repeatedly, earning a cocky chuckle from him.

“Wanna walk with me?” He asked, peering down at you. You looked at him, pondering if he was seriously trying to hit on you right now. Surely if you had known him, maybe walking to the station with him solely for the use of his umbrella would’ve been fine. You don’t know if it was the sleep deprivation or the fact that he truly did seem a little arrogant that stemmed your next response as you spoke.

“I don’t even know you.” You said bluntly, and you meant it disrespectfully.

“Not yet.” He said slyly. “But I’ve seen you around campus a lot.”

You stood still, pondering again if you had actually seen him before. Wait- wasn’t he in your political science class? You put a finger to your chin before finally igniting the imaginary, anxious little light bulb above your head.

“Professor Edamura’s class right?” You were such a lecture worm in that class, and the professor had yet to start group assignments. You had absolutely no need to befriend anyone  in that class yet. Nonetheless, it was your largest lecture class this semester, and you only met once a week. 

“Bingo.” He grinned.

“There’s like 120 people in that lecture.”

“Yeah. But I think you’re the cutest.” You stared at him, dumbfounded and blush stuck on your cheeks.

“Thank you,” you say, squeezing your arms around your book and pressing it towards your chest. 

“Oh look, the rain is stopping.” He says, leaning forward and intently staring out the window.

“Well, see you Wednesday.” He smiled a cheeky smile.

You felt like a child, blushing foolishly whilst you watched him walk out and down the street. 

You almost wish you hadn’t met him.

Days would go by until you saw him again. He made his appearance on Wednesday, at 2pm in Professor Edamura’s class. He sat beside you, offering you a wink before taking out his own computer beside you and your own. Aside from a greeting, he didn’t say a word until the lecture ended. You really had spoken too soon about not befriending anyone, because you had gotten slurped up into a group project with  4 other people.

“So, Friday night, we could all go to my place.  I don’t live too far from here.” You wanted to meet at the library instead. Why did he want to go to his house? However, it seemed he was a rather popular guy and everyone loved him. You learned his name was Gojo Satoru. And then you lost the vote 4 to 1. 

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes as the women in your group swooned at him as he talked. This sucks.

All of you created a group chat in which you sparked ideas for the project’s format. You honestly think the other girls in your group were just more excited they had his number. 

Thursday night came, and you were in your robe and face mask when your phone went off. You blinked repeatedly, realizing Satoru had texted you directly and not the group chat.

Heyy

Hey, Is everything okay?

Yeah, I honestly just can’t wait to see you tomorrow.

You stared at the message, absolutely not having time for his shit. You didn’t respond. Rather, you went in your settings and purposely turned on read receipts and went to bed. 

You wished you could’ve left him on read in real life too as you sat on the floor pillow in his living room the next evening. The other three group mates bailed, texting the chat just 20 minutes after you got there.

“Guess it’s just the two of us,” he chuckled. 

“Don’t look so happy about it.” You rolled your eyes. This project was 30 percent of your grade, you wanted to punch someone.

“I can’t help it,” he says, sitting across from you on a different floor pillow. “I won’t lie. I had been thinking of asking you on a date. I didn’t think I’d get so lucky.”

“And did you text the other girls in our group the same thing the night before?” You say, nonchalantly opening your book. You didn’t even look his way.

“No, they’re incredibly annoying.” He sighed genuinely. You finally looked at him. They were pretty annoying. Because of them, you were sitting across from him with nothing separating you but an extremely expensive coffee table. The library would’ve been better.

“You’re pretty cool though. Kind of bummed you didn’t text me back.” 

“Because I know what you’re up to.” You say, scribbling away in your notes.

“And what might that be?” He takes off his shades, putting them on the glass coffee table. You’d never forget the way he stared at you with his mesmerizing blue shells.

“I’m not going to fall in love with you. I don’t have time for that.” You firmly set your pencil down, looking at him. 

“I don’t exactly want you to.” He chuckled. You looked at him before speaking again.

“So what do you want from me?” You say, placing your face in your palm and leaning forward a bit to look at him directly. The intense stare you had was sure to ring out the truth from his lips.

“I said I wanted to take you on a date.” He laughs. “Get to know you a bit, but ultimately take you to bed at the end of the night, if you don’t mind. You can decline, I just wanted to show you a good time.”

He just blatantly asked you to sleep with him. Somehow, you admired that. You hated people that wasted your time. At least this way, you felt like you had some power in the situation. You could decline him or not, and you knew exactly what would become of your situation-ship if you started something.

“Sure,” you say calmly, to his surprise. You shift yourself around the table, right beside his body.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously,” you took hold of his jaw, delicately planting a kiss. He had no idea you were so confident. He only had a girl initiate the kiss once before. Your lips were incredibly soft and pillowy. He was already hard, wondering just what your sex was like if you kissed him like this. The semester’s stress had gotten to you. You were only hoping he could help you unwind.

You shifted over his body, straddling him against the bottom of the sofa. You’d give him exactly what he wanted.

“You better be good at this, or don’t even bother looking at me after we finish this project.” You break from his lips. 

“Oh princess, I don’t ever disappoint.” He smirked. You were alarmed at his strength when he lifted both your bodies off the ground. He sucked in your lips, kissing you firmly as he brought you to his bedroom. 

That night, he gave you the best sex of your entire life. He wasn’t lying about not disappointing you.

You remember the day you guys finally had to present your project, which didn’t come out too bad. Satoru had seduced the girls who didn’t show up on Friday into doing majority of the work. You remember him telling you that they deserved it after you attempted to nag him for messing with them like that.

“You and me worked hard last Friday night, right princess? So what’s the big deal?” He whispered into your ear while you all gathered in front of the lecture. You presented your part that you did on your own with constant red hues plaguing your face. You wish he waited to say that after the presentation. Now, you were worked up again. The events of skin touching skin had been stuck in your mind. 

You couldn’t get his extremely large hands and hot body out of your head. For something that was supposed to be a stress reliever, the thought of his sex lived on within you and it was getting annoying. He caught up with you after you rushed out the room as soon as class ended.

“You have time before your next class?” He peered down at you, grinning a sexy and devilish smile.

“Why?” You ask. 

“Let’s go grab a bite to eat, on me. I promise really do work harder than I like to show off. The thing I did for the project isn’t really my character. I just didn’t like how the other girls were going to push all the work on you.” 

He sounded genuinely sorry for the situation.

“It’s fine. They deserved it anyway. They never replied to me when I texted them. If it wasn’t for you using your ‘sexiness’ to make them get busy, we would’ve gotten a shitty grade for sure.” You used air quotes around the word ‘sexiness’.

“You think I’m sexy?” He said smugly.

“Of course that’s all you picked up from the entirety of what I said.” You rolled your eyes, and he laughed a hearty laugh.

“Obviously,” you say quietly, he almost didn’t hear you. 

“You’re so fucking cute,” he said, laughter dying down. You had this annoyed blush on your face as the both of you walked. You did end up going out to eat with him. But somehow, you also ended up fucking him in the restaurant bathroom right after.

His hands squeezed your hips as you pressed you ass closer against him. You never realized you could feel so full. He slammed his length into you, while you shamelessly watched yourself pant beneath him in front of the mirror.

“You’re such a pretty girl, look how pretty you are. I wanna see your face again when you cum.” He coaxed you whilst gripping your neck. 

“Don’t be so loud though, then we’ll get caught. You don’t want this to end do you?”

Your juices were running down your weak legs, and you were holding back pleasure filled squeals while he rammed himself into you. It had been a while since you had been fucked so well aside from last Friday. And something about the thrill of someone knocking on the door, which wasn’t even locked, helped you find your climax during that 10 minute session.

You called out his name as you clenched around his length, causing him to throw his hand over your hot mouth.

“Shhh,” he shushed you as he lifted your body towards his own. 

“We won’t be able to do stuff like this in the future if you’re so loud.” His hot breath poured into your ear. Your knees were burning, but the pleasure in your core was enough to over shadow it. You were ashamed to admit it, but you were cumming again onto his dick.

“Satoru, my legs...” you muffled against his hand.

“I’ve got you sweetheart, don’t worry.” His thrusts were quickening and you felt him twitch inside you. He released himself into the rubber he wore before removing his member from you. You collapsed your upper body onto the sink for support.

He was incredibly sweet somehow, sliding your jeans and panties up for you. 

“Can you walk?” He asked.

“I can manage.” You say, stumbling back against his chest. He caught you whilst you buttoned your jeans. 

“The look on your face is priceless.” He said, looking at you in the mirror. You were a disheveled blushing mess, but somehow you were scowling at him for making you cum in such a short time.

“You can hold my arm for support,” he watched as you fixed what you could of your top and hair. 

“Shut up.” You said, wrapping yourself onto his arm and exiting the bathroom.

Sex with him was filled with plentiful moments like this. He would spontaneously show up around you, asking to hang out. It helped out a lot, considering you were less stressed and chirpier, your friends noticed. A little bit of dick does everyone good sometimes. 

You did your best to keep it strictly sex related, and you felt like he was casually following whatever you wanted to do. He was a decent friend, listening to your qualms about school and your other friendships. He took in a lot of stories and life situations from you, but he rarely ever talked about himself. You had slept with him countless times by then, but you really knew nothing about him. The thing that made it worse is that he started to sex you more passionately, stirring your feelings in a bunch.

He towered above your body in the dark moonlit room. It was another Friday, and you were lost in his sex yet again. He was so close, kissing and sucking your lips til they were sore and bruised. He dragged his mouth against your neck and down to your chest. You didn’t know what had gotten into him, but he was keen to keep the space between you as close as possible. You hadn’t see him all week, and you both didn’t have any classes together this season. The spontaneous adventures became more planned due to your busy schedules.

He inserted himself into your warmth, making you arch your back and press your breasts to his chest. 

“Fuck, I missed you.”

Your entire head was hot from the whisper he made into your ear. You wished he wouldn’t say things like that. It was starting to fuck with you. You let out a moan as he filled you up completely, grinding your sex towards him from underneath.

“It looks like you missed me too,” he chuckled. Your sex was loud and wet. You couldn’t lie to him even if you tried— your body wouldn’t let you.

You found yourself moaning how much you missed him as he rolled into you endlessly throughout the evening. 

“I know baby,” he placed sweet kisses against your face and neck, “I know.”

You chose to block this specific memory out whenever you told your friends this story. He had sexed you like he loved you that night and you had too many orgasms to count.

You awoke in the morning with him clinging to your naked body. It really wasn’t the first time something romantic like this had happened but it was the first time you felt provoked to say something.

“Satoru...” You said against his hair. He grumbled a groggy hum into your neck. You didn’t know if this was the right time to say it, but you were tired of the subtle hints of affection he had been mixing in with all the lust. 

“It’s getting hard for me to keep this relationship strictly sex based,” you begin.

“I really do want to get to know you more. But sometimes you throw me these mixed signals and I get confused.” 

He sat up, bringing his blue gaze towards yours.

“Then we should stop.” He said bluntly. He wasn’t asking you either. 

“We should,” you sort of agree, confusedly.

“I had a feeling this was going to happen.” He said, tearing himself from you. 

“But it’s cool. I’ve got somewhere to be. You need a ride home?” He asked. You nodded. That morning for the first time in a long time, you both got dressed together in solitude. There was no banter, no joking around and none of the occasional compliment or kiss.

He drove you home, in comfortable silence on his part. When you both of reached in front of your house he finally spoke.

“Don’t look so down, honey. At the end of the day, you were just a warm body to me. Cheer up though, you served your purpose.”

You could’ve cried but you knew exactly what this was from the beginning. Was it possible he was starting to feel something? And this was his way of running from it? You stared at your lap. There was no point of trying to read too hard into it now.

“Thanks for the ride.” You say, shutting the door. He watched you walk into your house. He hadn’t known you were so sensitive considering the persona you’d been giving him since the very beginning. He would never be able to apologize to you for it either— he had too much pride.

He never texted or called you after that. Not that you were surprised, you knew he wasn’t the one for you. He was too secretive despite his outgoing nature. An experience it was, you thought it was fun. You did your best to look at the situation as optimistically as possible.

Whenever you saw him on campus, you didn’t even bother looking at him. You walked right by him. He knew better than to speak to you. One day you were sitting in the cafe you first met him in. It was raining just like it was last year. You knew he saw you scribbling away through the glass window. He entered anyway, with a brunette attached to his arm. She laughed loudly as she pressed her breasts to his bicep. You casually sipped your iced coffee, eying him briefly before returning to your work.

He was pretty ballsy.

“You okay babe?” Suguru slid his large hand over yours, breaking you out of your thoughts. 

You hummed in delight, watching him take hold of your hand and press your knuckles to his lips. 

“When you’re done, how about we go to that Hibachi place you like?”

You held back an excited squeal at the dark haired male in front of you.

“I’d like that a lot.”

part 2

[obeymeluv]

How would the brothers react to MC biting their nose and running away afterwards?

I’ve never really heard of anyone biting another person on the nose. Like, person to person. Our Jack Russell bit my dad on the nose. Saw that :0 When people do this, is it mean? Is it funny? Playful? I’m not sure. I’m assuming you/MC are in a platonic relationship with all the bros or in that ‘maybe something more but we don’t know yet’ state. At any rate, have some brief headcannons: Lucifer:

Beg pardon? You’re biting him?

This is probably the one and only time you got the drop on him at his desk

He’s tired, sees you out of the corner of his eye, and secretly gets excited inside because you’re leaning in! Are you about to kiss him? Probably.

Being the Avatar of Pride, Lucifer doesn’t out-and-out brag (actions speak louder than words with this one), but he really does think he’s the best in the house. Why wouldn’t he be? He keeps everything running! Without him this place would burst into flames and crumble!

Lucifer’s propped his chin up on his fist just so, just slightly, because he thinks he’ll get a peck on the lips AND YOU BITE HIS NOSE!

His face slips straight off his fist and Lucifer doesn’t know what to do. He definitely banged his elbow though.

And his knee. Startled himself into kneeing the desk.

Can’t form a coherent sentence, hardly even a thought, and you’re already out the door

Boy can’t even yell at you. He’s too busy trying to figure out when the last time was anyone bit him (it was Satan...pretty much from teething years to the human equivalent of 7) 

Mammon:

The second you’re in his space, JUST HIS, Mammon is so stoked. He’s 100% ready to receive all your affection and will legit lounge back on his bed and let you do whatever

He prefers full-body snuggling, playing with his hair, kisses, cupping or rubbing his face, and just having his arms around you (in no particular order)

Boy legit has his hands behind his head, waiting for you to do something. Get in his bed, give him kisses, whatever.

He gives a lazy crunch to heft himself up to a slouch, already whining that you’re not moving fast enough and how DARE you make the great Mammon wait when you start climbing onto his bed.

Mammon’s in a half-crunch now, resting back on his elbows with a little pink in his cheeks and a playful demon chitter in his throat. He slowly sinks back into the bed as you draw nearer, totally content to cuddle you.

Mammon’s got one arm around you and is in the middle of rolling you onto your side so you guys can be face to face when you strike

Boy is so startled he flings himself off the other side of the bed. That didn’t work too well because you were kind of on his arm so he swings out in this graceless lump and tumbles to an awkward sit on the floor

His face is super red and about the time he realizes he’s a strong DEMON who can take his arm from beneath a HUMAN, you’re already out the door and he’s yanking his arm back into his body like you tried to run off with it

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!

He’s definitely going to bite you back. He’ll bide his time.  

Levi:

Don’t do this to this baby, please. He’s not going to understand.

Levi is a shy, gentle creature and it takes so long to earn his trust, for him to let you in and shed layers of insecurity,

When you’ve earned a free pass into Levi’s sanctuary of a room, you have a privilege few can imagine. 

It’s an even greater privilege for him to be platonically affectionate with you since he’s only ever really had virtual people skills. 

Also: doing this is dangerous

More than likely, you’re in his lap while he’s gaming. Levi’s very tactile and enjoys your presence. He’s convinced you’re his good luck charm so you have to be nearby or it doesn’t work. Eventually he just gets comfortable looping his arm around you or just resting against you.

Levi game’s away, chin on your shoulder, when you bite his nose.

Levi gives a big yell, tries to freak out and doesn’t know which way to go. He’s sitting down and his first thought is to skitter away but he can’t (you’re sitting on him).

So he does the next best thing: flailing. You might get hit with a controller. Maybe tangled up in cords.

Levi actually made an angry demon noise at you, not realizing how far out the door you were (it was mostly because he’s startled)

You two make up eventually but you have to stress to him that it was a joke and apologize if he felt more hurt than you intended. It was so foreign to him that he didn’t know how to take it.  

Satan:

You’re going to bite this guy? Okay, suit yourself.

Having older brothers and being the Avatar of Wrath, he’s definitely reactive. You’re lucky if you just get a demon screech of indignation and not a book to the head.

More than likely, you’ll get a book to the head. 

Satan will tell himself it wasn’t on purpose but maybe 2% of it was on purpose. The rest of it was literally being a knee-jerk reaction to swing back with whatever he had on hand.

On the bright side, he didn’t hit you like he’d hit Lucifer if given the opportunity. It was the closest thing to a tap he could give with the book but that may still be a wallop for a human.

Satan gets all flustered, then sad when you run away. He immediately thinks the worse: he hit you too hard, or he scared you with his reaction

He immediately goes to find you and check up on you

Did you tell him it was a joke? It’s good you explained yourself but you ARE talking to the president of the Lucifer Sucks Club, who champions their pranks. Be careful for the next week or two.

Asmo:

Of all the things he’s been through over the centuries, being bitten on the nose is not one of them

Cutely confused but it quickly turns into being a little grossed out

Sweetie, his nose? Really? There are better things to bite

Also, don’t bite him on the nose. That’s gross. His nostrils are RIGHT THERE.

A funny petty bitch about it. If you catch him in the “daytime” (for the Devildom), “How’d my foundation taste?”. If you get him at night, maybe while his hair is away from his face in a cute headband, he’s asking you if you can tell which skincare item he just put on.

Definitely invites you to bite him elsewhere as you’re running away from him

Will retaliate with cute things like little pinches to your side of sneaky hugs the next time he sees you. 

Takes it the best out of all the brothers.

Beel:

Are you even going to get to his nose? Boy’s so tall!

Think about it: if he’s not standing up and away from you, he’s eating. His nose will be kind of obscured by food. Do you really want to get that close to his active jaw and teeth? He does have a top row of them, you know

Your best bet is to get him to pick you up and try from there (even though it cuts off your escape)

Beel’s only ever been ‘kitten bit’ by Belphie when they were younger so he really doesn’t know what to do about this

Confused. What does this mean in human terms?

It’s obviously not enough to break the skin; your teeth can still be gently in his nose and Beel will just look straight into your eyes. “Are you hungry?”

You’re trying to nibble on him. Clearly you have to be hungry.

When you tell him it was a joke and look a bit deflated that you couldn’t run off, Beel just laughs a little and bounces you in his arm. 

Belphie:

“You’re going to bite this guy? Okay, suit yourself.” #2

This brother is the easiest to attack considering he naps all the time, but your risk is the greatest. Maybe. Possibly second or third-greatest.

Worst case scenario: Belphie narrowly misses biting you back out of reflex and gets a mouth full of air that dries his throat out and makes him wake up with a cute sleepy-angry face

Best case scenario: you get an angry hiss-purr and he unfolds himself long enough to wrap your head in a section of blanket, eyes still closed and a furrow in his brow. Don’t worry, if this happens he definitely won’t hold you there. Just long enough to make you panic and think about what you’ve done (it was five seconds tops)

Doesn’t care that it was a joke or whatever dumb human thing you say as he hoists you into the bed (you never had a chance to run). Your consequence is being his cuddle buddy.

He has to make up for the sleep you stole. Doesn’t matter if it was just a few minutes, he’s going to need a few hours.

You could ask him to let you up, threaten to get one of the brothers, everything under the sun and he’ll simply tell you that you shouldn’t have messed with him if you didn’t want to end up like this.

You will be shushed. Pillows don’t talk.

[kuroopaisen]

cause & effect || 8

➵ your work friend, kuroo, has a tiny favour to ask. unfortunately, that favour includes convincing his family that you’re very much in love with him and have been for a while now. let’s just say it’s easier than you’d assumed.

warnings: f!reader, discussion of divorce

wc: 2.2k

m.list | ch. 7 ↞ ch. 8 ↠ ch. 9

“Tetsurou!” His mother calls as he’s a few steps away from the safety of the car.

“Hm?” He only half turns around, not willing to commit to the concept of walking back towards his mother’s house.

“Don’t forget to call.”

“Don’t worry,” you call out, “I’ll remind him.”

She smiles at you, raising a hand. “Thank you, dear.”

You’re rushed into the car before you know it, buckled in next to an exceedingly stressed Kuroo.

The two of you are already leaving later than he would’ve liked, and you can tell he’s desperate to get back to Tokyo.

So are you, honestly. It feels like you didn’t get enough sleep last night, even though you certifiably did.

His mother’s words keep playing over in your head. ‘No chemistry.’ ‘She’s no Ritsuko.’ What did that even mean? 

Sure, you might not be his real girlfriend, but you’re kind of pissed that you’re expected to live up to a set of standards you don’t even know about. Maybe you’re a bit too ticked off by the chemistry comment, but ‘no chemistry’ meant you weren’t playing your role well.

And if you were going to do anything during this whole stupid pantomime, it would be playing your part exceptionally.

“You know,” Kuroo begins, clearing his throat and stirring you from your thoughts, “I don’t think I said thank you properly last night.”

You smile, shaking your head. “It’s fine.”

“No, I…” There’s a creak in Kuroo’s voice, an uncertainty. Once, you might have found it unusual. After last night, not anymore. “I really appreciate you listening to me.”

You turn your head towards him, your smile softening.

Kuroo takes a deep breath, his fingers tensing around the steering wheel. He’s not looking at you (rightfully so – his attention should be focused on the road), but his brow is furrowed and his bottom lip juts out ever so slightly.

“I know it sounds dumb,” he says quietly, voice barely louder than the humming of the car, “since they split ages ago, but… I’ve had a hard time believing that… that if I fell in love with someone, it’d last.”

It hurts. Deep and true and harsh.

You know that pain. You’ve felt it.

“That doesn’t sound dumb at all,” you murmur, voice soft as cotton.

“Thanks,” Kuroo chuckles.

Silence falls once more. You let it. If Kuroo needs time, you’re willing to give out. Trying to force things out of someone never did them any good. You wait patiently, watching the road.

“I just…” He sighs after a while, sitting up a little straight. “I don’t know how to let someone in. Not in the way they want, anyway. I just…”

He chews on his lip, brow furrowed as he searches for his next words.  

“Because your parents split up?” You offer.

“Mhm,” he nods slowly. “I don’t begrudge them for it or anything… and I know it’s better than forcing themselves to stay in the relationship.”

Ah, the bargaining. You know it well.  

You tell yourself that what happened is better than nothing changing at all. But in the process, you forget you’re allowed to grieve. Allowed to be hurt. You push it away, cover it with a tatty veil, tell yourself that it’s wrong to feel anything mildly negative about it.

But that’s how it builds. That’s how it spreads like moss over a stone wall, slow and deliberate and hard to notice at first. But then it’s in all of you – in how you see yourself, in how you see others, in how you love.

“But it’s affected you more than you realised, right?” You ask gently.

Kuroo nods again. He glances at you out the corner of his eye, vaguely suspicious.

“Yeah,” he swallows. “I’ve only begun unpacking it recently.”

“It can take a long time to work through something like that,” you murmur, fiddling with your fingers as you gaze down at your lap.

You’re not sure if you’ve even worked through it all. There are still days when the thought of ‘family’ makes you want to throw up, where the bitterness swallows you whole. Bitterness for them, bitterness towards a society that places filial piety as a key virtue. How are you supposed to fulfil your ‘duty’ as a daughter when you still haven’t forgiven them for leaving you among the wreckage?

Maybe it’s time.

You take a deep breath, lifting your head to gaze out the window. “My parents are divorced, too.”

It’s a half-whispered confession. One you’re not sure if you should make.

You don’t know why it’s so hard to say that. It’s a simple fact – one that’s been written in stone since you were fourteen. And it’s not like Kuroo would judge you for it.

But it’s still difficult. It still feels like a stain that won’t come out.

“Wait, really?” Kuroo’s eyes go wide, glancing between you and the road. “I’m so sorry—”

“What’re you apologising for?” You giggle.

Kuroo opens and closes his mouth like a goldfish. “Well I—I’ve been sitting here complaining about it, and—”

You wave a hand at him.

“It’s fine,” you smile. “I’m not close with either parent, so…”

The mood shifts. Have you made a mistake?

“I’m sorry,” Kuroo says. There’s a painful sincerity in his voice – evidence that he doesn’t know what that’s like.

You’re happy for him. Through it all, at least, he had his dad’s side of the family. It’s something to be grateful for; and while the abandoned child in you feels bitterly jealous at the thought of someone else getting support, you know better than to admonish a parent doing their best to keep their son above water.

“It’s fine,” you say, pressing your lips together and shaking your head. “They’re both overseas for the holidays, actually.”

That’s the real reason you’re able to actually do this whole thing. There’re no parents to visit, no family to make merry with. There are friends you’d like to see, but most of their time was taken up by their own family festivities.

“Wait, really?”

“Mhm,” you nod. “Dad’s gone to Europe with his new partner, and mum’s visiting her new husband’s family in Australia.”

You know that they didn’t need to ask you if you wanted to spend the holidays together. And you don’t expect it. Sometimes weeks go by with no contact, and it’s your fault as much as theirs.

But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. Being along during the holidays is always a reminder that things aren’t as they should be – you don’t have that nice little nuclear family you’re told to want, with parents who love (or at least, tolerate) each other so they can love you.

“I see…” Kuroo murmurs.

“So, you needing someone to stick their neck out for you ended up being pretty convenient,” you grin, trying to lighten the frankly dour atmosphere in the car.

“Where will you be during New Years?” He asks softly. There’s a certain melancholy to his face.

“Alone, at this rate.” You have friends to see, of course, but you know they can’t dedicate all their free time to you – and you’d never ask for that.

But you can’t reason your way out of loneliness, no matter how hard you try. Maybe you weren’t trying hard enough. All you can do is remind yourself that it wouldn’t be forever; the holidays would pass, things would return back to normal, and you won’t be lonely again for another year.

“You can stay with us, if you’d like.”

Kuroo’s voice is so soft. So kind.

It’s enough to make your chest feel all light and funny. Why, you don’t know.

“Thanks,” you murmur.

You’re not sure if you’ll take him up on the offer; you wouldn’t want to impose, and it wasn’t part of your agreement. Not that you’re really sure what’s covered by your agreement. You’re just coasting along, hoping for the best. Hoping you’re helpful.

Silence. A silence that weighs on your shoulders.

Did Kuroo feel… awkward, now he knew you came from a similar situation? Did he feel that he had no right to talk about it the way he was?

That wasn’t what you’d been trying to do at all. You didn’t want to rob him of his voice.

You take a deep breath, clutching your jacket with your hands. “I’m just saying that… I know where you’re coming from,” you swallow. “Kind of.”

Kuroo glances at you out the corner of his eye.

“It’s okay to take your time to work through these sorts of things,” you smile. “God knows I still am.”

He chuckles lightly. A good sign.

“It’s not easy,” you continue, “and I spent a lot of my teen years believing it didn’t affect me, that it hadn’t had that big of an impact, but…” One deep breath. “I used to besmirch the idea of family.”

It feels strange, admitting it out loud. You’d never done that before; not to someone outside of a therapeutic context. Not even your closest friends knew this was how you really felt.

“I didn’t believe in it,” you swallow, “And now I know that’s because of how my parents treated each other.”

Fights. Pointless bickering. Nothing ever got physical, but bitterness has a way of twisting people up on the inside, leaving them all tattered and miserable. A place where there’s no love at all, only two people running through the tired motions of affection, is no place to raise a child – let alone teach them how to love.

And something else.

“And… and because of how they treated me through the divorce,” you sigh.

It sounds worse when you phrase it like that.

“If you don’t mind me asking…” Kuroo speaks slowly, each word careful and cautious, “what happened?”

You chew on your lip. “Well, there’s the two of them trying to pit me against the other.”

Kuroo groans.

“And I… I don’t know, I felt very neglected,” you swallow, doing your best to ignore the pressure in your chest, the lump in your throat, the way your gut twists. “They were both so focused on sorting themselves out that I got left behind in a lot of ways.”

“How old were you?”

“Oh, I was like… thirteen? Fourteen?” You can’t remember exactly. It’s been so long.

“Shit.”

You laugh. “Yeah, it really wasn’t a good time for it. But… I think that contributed to why I feel a bit distant from my family.”

You sigh, closing your eyes for a moment.

This wasn’t how you’d wanted this conversation to go. This was supposed to be about Kuroo, helping him feel more at peace with what’d happened to him. It wasn’t supposed to be your sob fest.

You open your eyes, looking straight at him. “Look, Tetsurou, it’s okay to take your time. And it’s good that you’re able to identify the causes of your troubles. That’s a great start.” you say as your heart races. Would he find this preachy? Nagging?

He just chuckles, shaking his head. “I just wish I could deal with them.”

“I think you’re doing better than you think you are,” you murmur, resisting the urge to reach out and place a hand on his shoulder. “And… if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here.”

Your heart feels like it’s running a damn marathon as he slows to a stop at the red traffic light. Have you overstepped? Are you being annoying? Worse yet, were you being invasive?

Kuroo turns to look at you properly for the first time on the drive.

He’s graced with the softest of smiles, his features much gentler than you’ve ever seen them. You’d almost believe there’s genuine affection in his eyes.

“Thanks,” he murmurs, reaching over to ruffle your hair.

You pout at him reflexively. You haven’t had your hair ruffled in years.

✧ ✧ ✧

The rest of the drive is quiet. Pleasantly so. Enough’s been said, and you feel no need to fill the silence.

Kuroo doesn’t either.

It’s nice to exist comfortably like this, the car’s heater working overtime as you trundle your way back to Tokyo. You drift in and out of a light sleep, bundled up in your jacket and your coat.

By the time Kuroo parks on your street, you’re ready to crawl into bed and hibernate for the rest of the month.

“Well,” Kuroo sighs. “Thanks again.”

You yawn, stretching your arms as far as the car will let you. “No problem.”

Kuroo wastes no time in getting out of the car and opening your door for you. You grimace as the cold air hits you; maybe you will crawl straight into bed. What better way to spend your day off?

You grab your things and slowly walk yourself to the front of your apartment building. Kuroo accompanies you the whole way.

“I’ll see you soon,” he nods to you as you turn around.

“I look forward to it,” you smile. God forbid, you’re actually excited.

Kuroos eyes light up for a moment. Are his cheeks red from the cold, or something else?

A bubble in your gut and you’re desperate to get inside, away from this confounding, stupidly charming man. You give what you intend to be your final nod, turning to open the door, but—

“Oh,” Kuroo says. “One more thing.”

You turn and tilt your head at him.

Somehow, he makes the stark winter light suit him. He grins. It’s brilliant enough to make you blush.

“Thanks for opening up to me,” he smiles, “I really appreciate it.”

[tinyboxxtink]

“Helpless” *Part 3*

Ok, I got the 2nd dose of the CoVid Vaccine yesterday and it’s kicking my ASS, so I’m gonna blame the writing on that. I wasn’t even gonna do a chapter tonight but I can’t let my babies down!!!!

Please forgive me, I didn’t plan this story out as well. I don’t know how long it’s gonna go, I’m flailing, coming apart at the seams.

ANYWAY, ENJOY! 😂

Also for the record the micro expression thing is a real thing, there was a whole show about it! #LieToMe

This story is just an excuse to exploit my fascination with it. 😅 #jk

Masterlist

Part 1

Part 2

Part 4

My Lovelies: 

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@chasingeverybreakingwave

After greeting your new guests, you took their drink orders and handed them two menus, explaining the specials. You glanced over to see Rafael furiously scribbling notes down on his legal pad; SUPER. 

“....How’s the Cesar salad here, dear?” the older woman of the couple asked.

“It’s great-- really--” you were explaining when you caught Rafael’s eye when he glanced up to look at you. He smiled, and you thought your knees would give out. 

“Amazing,” you sighed in a dreamy wisp.

“Really? That good, huh?” The woman glanced over to where you had been looking. Rafael quickly looked elsewhere, then sipped his scotch and continued writing.

“Well he looks yummy too,” She winked, as her husband looked up from his menu with a wary eye.

“I’ll be back with your drinks,” you nodded and quickly excused yourself to make their drinks. After quickly mixing and serving them, you returned to Rafael who was now grinning from ear to ear.

“Are you going to actually order, or…?” You asked, leaning your elbows on the bar across from him. 

“In a minute, sure. FIRST, you answer some questions, camarera--” You gave him a face. “It means waitress,”

“Right...cute,” you rolled your eyes, but inside you were melting. Anything spanish coming out of that man’s mouth sounded like straight porn. 

“But, I’m not just going to sit here and let you interrogate me, counselor,” you smirked. “Tit for tat-- you ask me one, I’ll ask you one. And remember, I’ll know if you’re lying,” you wagged your eyebrows at him.

“Well that’s just unfair, don’t you think? You could tell me anything and I’d believe you,” he argued.

“Oh really? Because I look that innocent?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Because you’re that pretty,” he winked, causing your cheeks to flush hot. Damn, he was good. 

“Alright alright, down boy,” you tried playing it off like you weren’t mentally squealing like a 12 year old. “First question?” 

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” 

“Excuse you? How old do you think I am?!” You didn’t know whether to be insulted or flattered. You had always been told you looked young for your age, but you didn’t want him thinking you were barely jailbait or something. WAIT, was that him making sure you weren’t?

“Why don’t you ask me my age, counselor? Wouldn’t that be easier?” 

“Asking a woman’s age is the equivalent of asking to get punched in the nuts,” he chuckled. 

“True. Well I’m older than 21 but younger than 40,” you smirked. 

“So...22 then?” He winked.

“Whatever you want, papi,” you winked back, causing his eyes to glisten with arousal.

“But to answer your actual question, I want to work in law someday,” you added, turning his amorous eyes to curious ones.

“Really? Because of me?”

“Oh my GOD, could you be any more narcissistic?” you scoffed.

“I could be, most definitely yes,” he nodded.

“NO, believe it or not my world doesn’t revolve around you; in fact until yesterday you were just ‘tie guy’,” 

“Tie guy?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Your ties. They are very...intricate,” you nodded to the tie he was currently wearing. To your surprise, he nervously adjusted it and looked down, as if he was embarrassed by his love for flamboyant ties.

“Not in a bad way, I like them a lot. Especially when they match your suspenders,” as soon as the words left your mouth, you heard the “fatal attraction” in them.

“Okay see how is this fair, you clearly know much more about me than I know about you,” You fanned yourself, your skin was going to be permanently burned red from this entire conversation.

“Yes but to be fair you just keep revealing that information yourself, and it’s really only facts about myself, just with a stalker’s viewpoint,” he quickly recovered from his own insecurities once again, reveling in your skill of self destruction.

“ANYWAY-- No, not because of you. I’ve just been fascinated with the micro expression thing since I was a teenager, and I think if it hasn't been already introduced as tactics for law enforcement, it definitely should be. Having human lie detectors on hand would be very beneficial, don’t you think?”

“You do have a point,” he nodded. “If it was a real thing,” he rolled his eyes.

“It IS! Alright you know what-- new game,” You slammed the bar with your hands defensively..

“You tell me facts about yourself and I’ll tell you if you’re lying,” 

“Whoa whoa whoa, I never agreed to that,” Rafael shook his head.

“Well you can agree now or I can keep waiting on other people, counselor,” 

“...Alright, fine. But it goes both ways,” 

“Oh you think you can tell when I’m lying?” You dared him.

“If I really try, sure. I am a lawyer,” 

“Alright....fine.”

“So what are the terms of this game?” 

“Hmmmm…..if I win, you have to mention this science--”

“Voodoo”

“SCIENCE, to your higher ups. Or someone who could do something with it,” you held out your hand.

“Alright...fine. And when I win, I eat free here for a week.” he smirked.

“WHAT? No no no, that shit will come out of my pocket, jackass,” You winced after the insult came out, you didn’t know what it was about him that caused such flippancy.

“...You know I’ve never been in a conversation with someone insulting me this much,” he chuckled.

“....Maybe not to your face,” You gave him a tongue-in-cheek smile.

“Touché…” he chuckled, twirling his pen between his fingers.

“Alright fine, if I win, you have dinner with me next week. Anywhere but here,” he grinned, amused at the shell shocked look on your face. You quickly shook it off and tried to play it cool.

“....You know I’ve never been in a conversation with a guy who worked this hard just to ask me out,” 

“Oh please, I could’ve asked you to follow me home last night and you would’ve done it,” he smirked, causing you to hit him with feigned protest.

“But what fun would that be?” he asked coyly, biting his lip.

“ORDER UP!” You heard the kitchen call your order.

“Shit...I’ll be right back,” You took Rafael’s glass and filled it back up, sliding it back to him.

“Trying to get me drunk?” He gave you a look. 

“More like trying for a bigger tip,” you giggled, going back for the food.

---

You grabbed your other guests dinner and refilled their drinks, making sure they were taken care of for a while before returning to Rafael to start your new game.

“Alright….so first question: Any brothers or sisters?” you started before he could think of a question. 

“One brother two sisters,” he replied with a straight face.

“NOPE. Lie. Straight out of the gate, really, counselor?!”

“Oh please, how could you know that,” he rolled his eyes.

“Please, with that ego, you’re definitely an only child.” You both laughed, he nodded. 

“Alright, same question,” 

“8 brothers, 7 sisters,” 

“Oh now THAT’S a load of bullshit! In New York City? No way,”

“Well, technically. I was raised in a group home-- orphan,” 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he went for your hand, but you shook it off.

“Not a big deal, moving on,” 

“Hey--” he took your hand this time. “For what it’s worth, having parents isn’t exactly great either,” 

Hint of a sad tone, a micro anger expression at the word ‘parents’.

“...Mom or dad?”

“What?”

Eye twitch at the mention of “dad”.

“What did your dad do?” 

“Wha-- what is happening? What are you doing?” his eyes darted back and forth between yours trying to figure you out.

“I told you, science,”

“Well STOP, whatever it is!” he dropped your hand and leaned back defensively. 

Wow, something really must have gone down with his dad. 

“Okay...sorry, I’m sorry. Sometimes it’s hard to turn off,” you apologized, he relaxed back in his stool. The awkward silence now made you want to run right out of the restaurant.

“We don’t have to play anymore, I’ll tell you whatever you want,”

“No no, it’s my fault. I thought you were full of shit until that just happened,” he muttered with half a laugh.

“Oh, yeah then totally your fault,” you tried to laugh it off, he gave you a small smile. He was clearly still shaken up by the mention of his father, or the fact that you knew something about it out of thin air.

“Seriously, we can--”

“What about my dad?” he interrupted you.

“What?”

“ What do you know about my dad?” he asked, a serious expression on his face.

“Wha--- I’m not actually a psychic, Rafael. I just noticed your eye twitch when I mentioned the word dad, indicating some stress associated with it. SCIENCE, not magic,” you made “magic” motions with your fingers.

“I mean for all I know you could just hate your daddy because he didn’t buy you a yacht when you were a kid,” you joked; a glance of shame.

“...But you didn’t grow up with money, did you?” You couldn’t help yourself.

“....Seriously, I’ll leave,” he dropped his pen.

“Sorry. SORRY. Okay fine fine um-- I grew up in Jersey, in a tiny house in a room shared by five girls, it was like living in a closet. My foster parents only wanted the paychecks for each kid, so we basically raised each other. I made friends with Arianna who was also in the system when I got to high school, and as soon as we turned 18 we took off for the city, and we’ve been living out of our car for years,” you hoped your self deprecating life story negated whatever shit went down with his dad.

“....How much of that is true?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Okay so we live in a studio apartment, but we did live out of our car for a year,” 

“....I grew up in the barrio,” he finally spoke after a long pause.

“I assume that’s like the Mexican ghetto?”

“CUBAN,” he was clearly offended. 

“Right. Sorry,” you bit your lip, knowing there was no way you’d be able to dig out the stiletto wedged in your mouth.

“I love my mom, she did the best she could. And my abuela is the sweetest woman in the world. But my dad…” he rolled his eyes, his knuckles slightly curled at the mention of his father. 

“....He’s dead now, so it’s irrelevant,” he shrugged uncomfortably.

“Right. Yeah no, sure,” this time you placed a hand over his. 

“Miss, can we get a dessert menu please?” You heard the woman from the other end of the bar calling for you.

“I um-- I gotta--” you motioned between the couple and the back.

“Right-- hey um, do you think I could get my usual?” He asked softly, his cocky demeanor diminished. 

“Y-Yeah! Of course, yeah I’ll be right back,” you smiled awkwardly at him and bolted to the kitchen.

For fuck’s sake, could you be any more awkward? This is why you didn’t have friends; people don’t want their lives being read on their faces. 

It’s fine, you’re fine. You’ll just fix it when you come back….

[miraclekittyandbug]

Ten Questions With A Twist Chapter 2

Hey guys! Here’s chapter two! I’ve decided I will be posting a chapter every other day. There are seven chapters on this story and they have all already been written, so you won’t have to wait for me to write them before they can be posted. Enjoy!

~Chapter 1 ~ This Chapter ~ Chapter 3 ~ Chapter 4 ~ Chapter 5 ~ Chapter 6 ~ Chapter 7 ~

Adrien was distracted. Having had a fitful night of sleep, he was mostly focused on staying awake during classes, not necessarily taking notes. Once lunch rolled around, Nino pulled Adrien to the side.

“Hey, dude, did something happen with you and Marinette?”

Adrien responded that he wasn’t sure what he meant.

“Well, you’re really distracted, and so is she, I just figured you guys got into a fight or something.”

“No, I barely talk to Marinette outside of class,” he clarified.

“So…” Nino narrowed his eyes at his friend, “So you guys aren’t secretly dating?”

Adrien’s jaw hit the floor. “What!?”

“What do you mean ‘what?’, it is so obvious you’re in love with her!”

Adrien stuttered and flung his hands, grasping at invisible somethings as he tried to figure out where the hell this came from. “It can’t be obvious, because it’s not true! What even makes you say that?”

“Well mostly the way you look at her.”

“I look at her the same way I look at anybody else!”

“Nah, dude. If you looked at my girlfriend the way you look at Marinette, we would have to have a serious conversation.”

Adrien was at a loss for words. “This is ridiculous.”

“I’m just saying!” Nino raised his hands, signifying innocence, “You guys would make a cute couple! You like her, she likes you, it isn’t a far stretch to think that something was going on. And I think you’d make each other really happy.” Adrien could only stare. “Just think about it, dude.”

Adrien thought about it for around thirty seconds. Then he saw Marinette and Alya wave himself and his friend over to eat and, though he tried to push the thought from his mind, he suddenly couldn’t stop thinking about it. 

He had visions of himself and Marinette. They would sit on the same side of the table, rather than opposite sides as they sat now. He would use that excuse to lean into her, just to be more aware of her presence. He pictured going to the movies with her again and using that trick they use in movies, pretending to yawn so he could put his arm around her and hold her close. His heart did a spin at the thought, but he found himself being drawn back to reality.

“Yeah, Adrien and I will totally sit with you guys.” Nino said, and Adrien nodded, mostly to shake those thoughts out of his head. For the first time, he had to remind himself that he was in love with Ladybug. Not Marinette.

Soon enough, the group of four friends were sat around a table, chatting absentmindedly about something random. (The exact topic of discussion was unknown to Adrien. Tired as he was, he was more concerned with pushing food around his plate and not thinking about Marinette). 

“Are you okay, Marinette?” Alya asked her friend. Reminding Adrien that he still had to interact with the bluenette. They were friends, after all. “You seem really out of it today.”

Adrien looked up to see that Nino had been right. Marinette was also looking really tired and distracted. She was blushing and had organized the food on her plate according to color, but was glancing up at Adrien every so often. “Yeah, I just…” She looked up and made eye contact with Adrien before outright asking, “What’s your favorite color?”

Adrien just stared at her, wide eyed and slack jawed. A million thoughts went through his head at once. He finally settled on Wow, that’s a coincidence. But that isn’t so weird, right? It is a pretty common question, even though it was kinda out of the blue. “My favorite color is green, but I’m also rather fond of orange.”

Marinette smiled and the world seemed to shine brighter for it. 

The warning bell rang, signalling that they had about five minutes before lunch was to end. Both students started shovelling food into their mouths, suddenly aware of their own hunger.

A few more classes went by when they heard a scream coming from not so far away. Phones started going off left and right, alerting the entire class that an akuma had been sighted a few streets down. Ms. Bustier reacted as she normally does, calmly asking everybody to move away from the windows, calling for each student as she did so. When Marinette failed to respond to her name, the class found that she was missing. 

“Didn’t she just go to the bathroom?” Rose said, stress underlying her voice.

“I’ll go find her!” Adrien quickly called, leaving the classroom before anybody had a chance to point out the fact that it wouldn’t be proper for him to search for her in the women's restroom.

Once out of the classroom, Adrien rushed towards the nearest broom closet, looking up and down the hallway to make sure there was nobody to see him. He called for his transformation and immediately vaulted out of the nearest window, ready to assist his Lady in taking down yet another bad guy.

Soon enough, the akuma was tracked down and purified. Having finished up this particular villain fairly quickly, Ladybug and Chat Noir stood back for a moment admiring their work. Ladybug decided to let Chat in on a secret.

“His favorite color is green,” She said, blushing profusely.

Chat was amazed! “That’s my favorite color too!”

Ladybug threw her yoyo and made one more comment before zipping away, “Sure, but are you rather fond of orange?” And off she went,

Too late to see Chat’s very very VERY shocked face. 

And that gut feeling from the night before was back, now, and stronger than ever. But this time it was telling him to think. He went back to class and proceeded to think hard. And here’s the thing. Adrien liked to consider himself smart. And no person with two brain cells could deny that that was more than coincidental wording. That was word for word what he had told Marinette earlier that day. A moment of clarity shone through the clouds of his mind and left him with one piece of information: Ladybug goes to the same school as Adrien. It all makes sense! She must go to his school because she overheard Marinette ask him that question earlier that same day! They’re even usually at the scene of an akuma at the same time so even that makes sense! It wasn’t until fifteen minutes before class ended that the next series of realizations hit him: causing his flat hands to slam against the desk, getting everybody’s attention.

Ladybug is in love with Adrien Agreste

Adrien Agreste is secretly Chat Noir

Ladybug is in love with Chat Noir

Lucky for him, Adrien is both of those people

The entire class stared at him. His green eyes wider than they thought possible. His arms straight with his hands flat on the desk in front of him, sweat starting to gather on his collar. He only snapped out of it when Ms. Bustier waved her hand in front of his face and asked him if he was alright.

“I-uh- I just remembered I have a photoshoot after school. Nothing else. I’m good. Sorry.” He picked up his pencil and put the lead to his notebook, trying to prove that he was ready to learn now, 

Ms. Bustier saw right through his act, but decided it was close enough to the end of the class anyway. “Alright, well that’s as good of a stopping place as we’ll get to today, so I’ll just remind everybody to finish their homework and that there will be a quiz on Friday.”

Adrien let out a sigh of relief. After a realization like that, he was most certainly not ready to learn. He rushed out of the room and to his locker, desperately trying to get away from prying eyes. He needed to have a conversation with his Kwamii regarding what the FUCK to do about this! His lady was in love with him! This was amazing news! But also… kind of terrible.

Ladybug was set on them not knowing each other's identity, but what did he do now? He hadn’t meant to come so close, but he had! Now he was so close to finding out who she was and he couldn’t turn back. He knew what Ladybug would say. She’d tell him to not dig further, to let it go, and to move on without looking back. Adrien didn’t think that was possible though. It was like when he and his lady both de-transformed on either side of a door. He was on one side, lonely Adrien, and on the other was the love of his life in her everyday clothes. He wanted more than anything to open that door. To view his Lady in all her citizen’s glory. But she trusted him.

So now what? They were in the same situation, but with the door slightly open. They were both about to cross that line. He looked down and could see her feet. She was wearing flats, not tennis shoes. Her pants weren’t blue like his, but he couldn’t quite make out the right color. Directly across from him, her hair was visible. Just as blue-black as it had always been. Her hair was tied back in hair ties rather than ribbons like her superhero alter ego. Her eyes were deep blue and staring right back at him and the rest of her face…

That’s as far as he got. As he stepped into the back of the car with Gorilla at the wheel, he let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. That feeling was back again and it told him that he couldn’t stop. He couldn’t drop it when he was so close, just inches away from knowing who she truly was. 

And so, he had decided. And as easy as that, a plan started to form. A way that would bring him and his lady closer than they had ever been.

~~~~~~~~~~~

And there’s chapter two! I’m working on another fic after this one that’s a little similar, but that one is going to take a while, so feel free to leave requests in my inbox! I really look forward to writing for you!

Chapter 1 ~ This Chapter ~ Chapter 3  ~ Chapter 4 ~ Chapter 5  ~ Chapter 6 ~ Chapter 7 ~

[neptunetheplanet7]

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 - 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 & 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

DM ME IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE PUT ON THE TAGLIST!!

;mikasa ackerman x fem!lesbian!reader

;modern au, band au

word count: 2.1k

warnings: swearing, slight angst in the beginning but not really, fluff

i owe you guys an apology. i’m not very active on tumblr as of posting. i’m sorry about that. school has been hard on me and i’ve been very stressed. i’ll try to do better in the future :)

listen to the music masterlist

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Armin was discharged from the hospital only a day after the accident. The doctor said there was nothing extraordinary to worry about. But of course, even with this information, Eren still made a fuss. That much was clear when he walked through the door with Armin's arm slung over his shoulder.

"I didn't break my leg, Eren. I don't need to use you as a crutch," Armin grumbled as the two walked into the kitchen from the garage. He reached back to shut the door with his free hand.

Eren rolled his eyes. "Well, excuse me for supporting you in these trying times."

"I don't need your support," they scoffed. He unwrapped his arm and made his way across the room.

Eren gave him the finger, rather aggressively. The gesture wasn't reciprocated since the blond already disappeared into the hallway.

Sucking on a freeze pop, you leaned back against the cool countertop. "Welcome home, lovely. Have fun?"

Eren sighed loudly as he walked toward the freezer and got a popsicle for himself. He grabbed a pair of scissors and cut the top of the wrapper off into the trash.

He said sarcastically, "Oh, absolutely I did." He paused and shook his head disapprovingly. "He's a lot bitchier when it's us two. How's it been here?"

You shrugged. "So, so. Pretty quiet."

He nodded and pushed up the pineapple-flavored ice. "Thought so. Jean's gone today, obviously. Is Mikasa here?"

You huffed softly at the mention of her. "I haven't seen her since breakfast. She's been upstairs all day."

He frowned. "Oh, I see. Armin told me about the kiss, by the way. At first, I was gonna make fun of you for passing out but now that just seems cruel."

"You think?" You laughed lightly and rested both arms on the counter.

The sound that followed from him was more of an exhale than a laugh. "Listen, Y/n, even if she's avoiding you right now, I know she'll come around. Just wait and see."

"You're right," you mumbled, sticking the freeze pop in your mouth again. Armin basically said the same thing. Eren sent you a quick smile and patted your shoulder before leaving through the hallway.

You swallowed the remaining ice and threw away the wrapper. Noticing the bin was full, you took the trash to the bigger bin outside. Maybe doing some chores would distract you from Mikasa for a while.

Plus, today was the only day that allowed you to do so. Practices for the band's upcoming performance were every day until the date of it. You'd be rehearsing 24/7 since it was scheduled on such short notice.

It was going to be at a middle school some of your friends went to. The DJ they booked before flaked and your manager was kind enough to offer your talents.

Jean was meeting with Hannes and the school administrators to work out some extra kinks before the practices began.

The only day there wasn't a rehearsal was on Eren's birthday. You all decided it'd be best to take the day off to celebrate and set up for the party that would be happening later in the night.

The day passed easily as you got caught up on chores that weren't done over the past few days. The house was messier than you liked it although it hadn't been long at all since the previous clean-through. However, it had been a hectic week.

Speaking of hectic, when Zeke was there, he sure made himself at home. That much was clear when you made it to the living room portion of the basement.

Eren probably couldn't find time to clean up yet. Either that or he was just lazy because at that moment he was more focused on a pinball machine than the state of his living space.

His brother's suitcases were lying open by the couch. To be honest, you didn't love the idea of a criminal's possessions lying around your home. So, you decided that throwing them in a storage closet was the best option. 

When you finished tidying up, you started a game on the pinball machine next to Eren's.

His birthday was in three days. The house looked a lot better than it did when you started, which was perfect for throwing a party. You could only hope it would stay that way.

After a few hours of playing games with him, Jean came down the stairs to let you know he was back from the school. He left when he saw neither of you were interested in what he had to say.

Once it got dark outside, you left Eren to his own devices and went to your own room to chill out some more.

Unfortunately, when you flopped down on your bed, Mikasa started to consume your thoughts again. In an effort to fight them, you turned on a show to distract yourself.

For the slow hours you spent staring at the screen, you couldn't focus, not once. No matter how hard you trained your eyes on the screen, you still thought about her.

Sighing, you got out of bed and walked to your bedroom door. You were careful of the creaking hinges, it was around midnight. Everyone would either be asleep or close to sleeping.

Except for Armin. You had no idea what he did at night but you knew better than to ask. However, he was probably pretty tired from the time spent at the hospital. So, there was a solid chance he actually was asleep.

You crept outside, checking that the front door didn't make too much noise. Your car was parked in the driveway since there was never room in the garage. The gravel underneath your feet made noise as you walked toward it. You pushed yourself onto the hood and leaned back against the windshield.

Drawing in a long breath, you stared up at the sky. You needed to calm down and clear your mind. This would help, as it usually did.

Even if it was a little chilly, it was warm for a night in March, especially this late.

The stress that bubbled inside you simmered down the longer you watched the thin clouds dim the stars.

Any negative thoughts you had about the situation with Mikasa or the previous days seemed to disappear the longer your focus was on the sky.

Gravel crunched and you snapped your gaze toward the noise. Sitting up, you were surprised by what you saw.

Mikasa froze when she realized she'd been caught. She held a white blanket in her arms and still had one foot on the porch steps.

"Hi," she greeted quietly.

"Hey." Your breaths were a tad ragged from the initial scare.

She came closer to the car. "What are you doing out here so late?"

"I could ask you the same thing." You took the blanket from her arms and she pushed herself up to sit beside you.

"The door to your room was open when I came downstairs for a drink. I thought you'd be out here."

"Oh." She knew you better than you thought.

She spread the blanket over both of your laps and leaned down on the hood of the car.

She looked at the sky but your eyes were still on her. "Why did you come out here?"

After a moment of silence, her gaze finally shifted to you. "I wanted to apologize. Ignoring you was immature. Plus, I remember how you used to come out here when you were upset. Above all else, I wanted to make sure you were alright." A blush coated her cheeks when she finished talking.

You took note of that and couldn't help but blush yourself. "I'm okay. I understand why you'd ignore me, though. If you didn't want it, that was probably your only option since we have to see each other so much."

Her brows furrowed and she sat up again. "What? Y/n, did you think I didn't want to kiss you?"

You blinked stupidly. "Well, yeah."

She laughed. "You can be so ridiculous sometimes. I've always wanted to kiss you like that. I'm just not great at expressing it."

Even more heat rushed to your face. You gawked at her and she looked down at her feet. Many things were running wild in your head. For some reason, though, there was one thing that was so prominent in your mind once you remembered it.

Out of all the questions you could have asked, this one came out rather bluntly. "What did you mean in your letter? What should I know?"

Her eyes widened, she didn't expect you to ask about that yet, and quite frankly, neither did you. Nonetheless, she answered anyway. "If only you knew. That's what I wrote. That's easy to answer now. If only you knew how long I've loved you."

She turned her face and made direct eye contact with you. She seemed to know the next question on your mind. "You never knew it but I've been in love with you since high school."

That can't be right. This is a dream. You're dreaming, Y/n. What the actual fuck?

"Are you sure? Then why did you ask Jean out when we were seniors? Why did you break it off with me mere weeks before?" Your mind was racing and it translated into sentences quickly spilling from your lips.

She still looked straight at you. Her facade of confidence was making you nervous. "I'm sure. Back then, I was so afraid of what I felt for you. Pretending the feelings weren't real and projecting them onto Jean seemed like my easiest option. For years I convinced myself I loved him. But it was never him. It was always you. I felt so awful when I realized what I was doing."

And just like that, the facade fell. Her words were no longer held confidence. She was afraid of how you'd react. She had little idea that you were ready to be just as vulnerable as her.

"When did you realize?"

Looking up at the dark sky, she pushed a stray tuft of hair away from her face. She continued, sighing softly before she spoke, "When I saw him that night with Marco, I was relieved that I didn't have to be with him anymore. When I tried to figure out why that was, I could only think about you. Every feeling that scared me before came back. I got so scared that I left. But, even then, they never went away."

You were having some trouble believing that this was actually happening. Mikasa loved you back this entire time. If she hadn't kissed you before, you would've thought this was only possible in your dreams.

However, things were actually starting to make sense. That whole time it was your fault. Every night of those two years you spent wondering about what you could have done to make her stay. It turns out you did enough. You were the reason she left. 

But maybe you were the reason she came back as well. You could recall something Jean had told you a day before she came home.

"Why did you come back? You needed to do something?"

She looked back at you again. "I've just done it," she said.

Before you could process her words, she was leaning closer to you. Her lips were so close to brushing yours but she paused before they could fully touch. "Can I?" she whispered.

"You don't even have to ask."

When she kissed you, you felt everything. Her feelings, your feelings. The world was minuscule compared to you two. Anything else meant nothing at that moment.

It was the first time in a long time that you felt fully complete. You were a puzzle and she was the missing piece. It was like before, only this time, you knew for sure what you wanted.

Pulling away, you managed an, "I love you too, Mikasa." 

There were no other words that would feel so good to finally say out loud.

Everything was clear. You understood. 

Now more than ever, you wanted to be with her.

posted: 9/26/21

neptunetheplanet7© 2021

no reposts, edits, or modification to my work by anyone other than me.

[yourfavewriteress]

rocky road | jonathan toews

Teaser: “We gotta figure this out because I don’t want to keep fighting you every single day.”

Jonathan and I were currently in the middle of a rough patch. The Blackhawks weren’t doing as well as expected this late in the season. The transition from winter to spring was having its effects on my mood and migraines. Work is killing me everyday to the point where I hardly do anything once I get home except shower and get in bed. To top it all off, Jon and I have barely talked in almost two weeks, aside from the frequent bickering.

We have never been the couple that fights excessively. Jon isn’t the type to go back and forth over something small and petty. He doesn’t like to argue, he likes to talk. Whenever we crossed the line from having a conversation to bickering, Jon always suggested a pause to refocus the conversation and come to an agreement. Yet, lately our fights have been getting less conversational, and more unproductive. 

The one thing that attracted me to Jon the most when we first met was how quiet and driven he was. He was a man in all aspects of the word and I loved that. While I dealt with the stresses of my job, Jon knew that I couldn’t be the trophy wife that many guys in the NHL desired. Although his job is a priority for him, my own job is a priority for me. I never felt like I was taking care of him, or him taking care of me. We were partners who have mastered scheduling their lives around each other, and the condo we had moved into seven months ago. 

When I brought up our current relationship situation with my friends, they assured me that we were simply going through a phase “and, yes, even perfect couples like you guys have them.” I wasn’t unhappy with Jon at the moment, but we have definitely been better. 

As I prepared myself for another day at work, I made my morning coffee and checked over the day’s schedule. While I would be gone until around 7 today, Jon had a busy day until 9:30. My coffee was barely finished before Jon appeared, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“Hey,” He mumbled, walking towards the refrigerator.

“Morning,” I responded. As I waited, all that could be heard in the kitchen was the coffeemaker and Jon’s movements. I poured my finished drink just as he spoke again.

“Did you turn the thermostat down last night?”

“Is it too cold for you?” I watched as he looked over at me.

“I’m kind of used to it at this point,” He responded.

“I did turn it down before I got in bed, why are you asking?”

“Can we compromise and keep it above 60?” 

“You live here, too, so if that’s what you want,” I shrugged.

“You really don’t have to be like that,” He sighed. “I’m just asking.”

“I’m not being like anything, Jon. Maybe you’re reading into things a little too hard.”

“You hog the blankets, which I don’t mind because I know you don’t do it on purpose. But it felt like the North Pole last night and I don’t want to get sick.”

“Oh, trust me, I know. We cannot let the star captain get sick when he has hockey to play,” I mumbled.

“Y/N,” He ran his hands over his face. “We gotta figure this out because I don’t want to keep fighting you every single day.” I didn’t say anything and Jon closed the fridge and looked at me. “You have to realize we can’t even talk to each other without arguing, right?”

“Mhm.”

“And, you don’t see that as a problem?”

I scoffed, rolling my eyes. “Are you seriously asking me that? I asked you a week ago to talk yet here we are.”

“I had a game that day,” He defended. “I had to focus on that.”

“I’m happy that you so boldly point out that hockey comes before me, especially when we’re both going through a tough time. But, what about the next day? I’m pretty sure you had two days off and we still haven’t talked.”

He looked down at the counter, “Hockey doesn’t come before you, you know that.”

“Say that to me when it’s actually true. Other than that, don’t lie to my face,” I grabbed my cup, moving towards the hallway. “I have to get ready for work.”

I walked back to our bedroom, going straight to the bathroom and closing the door behind me. I turned the shower on, beginning to get undressed. I sipped my coffee slowly as I let the water heat up.

As mature as I was, I knew I had my moments where biting my tongue would have been the better option. I would absolutely be respecting Jon’s wishes about the temperature of our room, because it was our shared space. But, he didn’t have to know that yet. Especially when I have already told him he could change the thermostat whenever he was uncomfortable.

I showered and brushed my teeth quickly, wrapping my towel tightly around my body. I exited the bathroom to see Jon buttoning his shirt. He looked up when I entered the room.

I moved to my walk-in, grabbing my clothes for the day. Rushing myself to get dressed, I stumbled around the closet for a few minutes. When I walked out, Jon was fully dressed, reaching into his bag.

“I’m not gonna be back tonight til after 8,” He said.

“I know,” I responded, brushing through my hair.

“Make sure you actually eat today,” He said, followed by the zipping of his bag. “I’ll see you later.”

“Bye.” I did my best not to frown as Jon walked out of our bedroom. 

In the past two weeks, I could count on one hand the amount of affection that we’ve shown each other. We used to kiss or be touching each other in someway at all times. But now, the only time Jon was within three feet of me was when we were in bed. I guess that’s a plus, that we still sleep next to each other. I would be lying if I didn’t notice the deliberate space between us under the covers, though.

As the front door closed behind Jon, I continued getting ready for work. Until I had to stop. 

Washing my coffee cup in the sink, I felt the familiar sensation in my eye and head, signaling the migraine to come. I groaned to myself, pausing to down a full glass of water. 

At the on-site of migraines, I always had a decision to make. I could either one, power through it and continue on with my day or two, call it and get back in bed. The frequency of my migraines increased with stress so I wasn’t surprised as my left temple began to pulse. Looking at the time, I had over an hour before I had to be at my desk and thirty minutes to leave our condo. Already feeling nauseous, I decided that today would be the day that I called it. I would have all day to recover, with Jon being gone, and I could get a much needed break from work and the world. 

After calling my boss and explaining the situation to her, she agreed before I even finished. Annoyed at the fact that I was already dressed and basically ready to go, I changed back into sleep clothes. I didn’t realize until I walked past the mirror that my sleep clothes consisted of one of Jon’s shirts and a pair of his boxers as shorts. 

Forcing myself to eat, I made a small breakfast of eggs and toast before climbing back under the covers in our dark room. In the past, I made sure to tell Jon when I was experiencing a migraine so that he knew. I wasn’t sure if it was anger towards him or my sleepiness but as soon as my head hit the pillow, I was out. No message to Jon. 

I spent the day in bed, slipping in and out of consciousness. Other than to use the bathroom, I stayed under the comforters as the sun set that afternoon.

I assume I slept through the entire day as I awoke to movement in Jon’s closet and the light on. I blinked a few times, trying to adjust my eyes after them being closed for basically over 12 hours. Jon walked out his closet and I watched as he looked around the room, his eyes landing on me.

“Hey,” He said, noticing that I was now awake. He moved closer to my side of the bed, crouched down so we were at eye-level. If my head hadn’t of been hurting, I would have noticed how close he was for the first time in awhile. He searched my face, “Are you okay?”

“I have a migraine,” I mumbled. 

“Did you eat?”

“A little,” I responded.

“You know you have to eat more than a little,” He said, standing up. “I’m gonna change and then I’ll make you something.”

“You don’t have to,” I sighed. “I’m sure you’d probably prefer to not be around me right now.”

“Not responding to that,” He called from his closet. “I always want to be around you, no matter what’s going on.”

I turned over in bed, pulling the covers back over me. “That sounded like a response, Jonny boy.”

The nickname slipped out before I could even think about it and when I looked back at him in his closet, he was smiling softly. I looked away just as I felt a smile creep onto my lips. It was the first time in a few days that our expressions towards each other were anything but annoyance or indifference.

“Can you see okay?” He asked after a few moments.

“Yeah, the aura went away a couple hours ago.”

“And, your head?”

“Pounding,” I said, simply. I heard Jon sigh before I felt his hand on my leg.

“Do you want to come downstairs to the couch?”

I nodded, moving to sit up. “How was practice?”

“Fine,” He shrugged. “Can we talk later though? I’ve been thinking a lot today.”

“I was being a bitch earlier, I’m sorry,” I admitted. “It was a simple request.”

“I’ve been an asshole for two weeks,” He responded. “This morning was nothing compared to that.”

He moved so that he was sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Hockey is tough right now, I get that. We’ve been through this before, Jon. Work is kicking my ass, too, and it’s overwhelming,” I said. “I don’t know why we’re clashing so much but we know how to communicate. I know how to talk to you and you know how to talk to me, but…”

“...But, we're still fighting,” He finished, nodding.

“I know I can be a lot, and you have to worry about not only me but your team, too. I can’t imagine how much stress you’re under right now but you have to let me know what you need or want from me. I can’t just keep walking on eggshells while I’m stressed myself. It’s not fair.”

“I know,” He sighed. “I didn’t realize how much I was pushing you away. I don’t ever want you to be walking on eggshells around me. You live here just as much as I do and I’m sorry for everything. I know I can forget to stop bringing hockey home with me every night and I’ve clearly been doing that. I’m not gonna make excuses for it because we already talked about this. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t care if you bring hockey home. Obviously, I would like it if I didn’t have to sit through hours of guys slamming into each other on the ice, but I would do it if it’ll be helpful for you. I don’t mind watching hours of hockey. I know it’s a priority for you right now, and I don’t expect that to change. But, we’re a team. I want to help so you’re not beating yourself up every single day.”

He smiled, “I know.”

“It’s not just you, I know I can be better, too. When I’m stressed, I know I can be a handful and a half and you’re an angel for dealing with it. I’m not easy to talk to and you still take care of me. I don’t deserve you.”

“You deserve the world,” He said. “But, I don’t care how much of a handful you think you are, I love you and that’s not gonna change.”

“I’m just sorry,” I mumbled, looking down.

Jon moved closer, pulling me into his chest. “I think you’re just being nice because your head hurts. I’m equally at fault for this, if not, more.”

I laughed against his chest, immediately regretting it as I was reminded of my migraine.

“I mean it,” I said once he pulled away.

“Okay, so we’re both sorry, and we’re both gonna do better, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Good,” He kissed me and I sighed against him.

“I missed you,” I said. “Even though we’ve both been here.”

“I missed you,” He smiled, pecking my lips again. “But, your head still hurts so dinner first.”

He helped me out of the bed, wrapping his hand around mine as we walked downstairs. 

“I’ll get you some water and bring it over,” Jon said as I sat down on our couch, leaning against the arm. I watched as he dimmed the lights in our apartment, looking over at me to hold up his thumbs in question. “Is this good for you?”

“Yeah,” I laughed softly. “Did you know the lights did that before you showed me this place?”

He nodded, smiling. “Thoughtful, eh?”

“I guess you could say that,” I shrugged. He walked over to me, handing me a glass of water.

“You don’t think I’m thoughtful?” He raised his eyebrows in question.

“I think you’re a sap when you want to be,” I laughed, making my head throb. I flinched, leaning back slightly.

Jon leaned in, pressing his lips to my temple. “Stop laughing at me, you’re making your head worse.”

I puckered my lips to him in response. He smiled, shaking his head while standing up straight. “You’re trying to distract me. I have to get you something to eat and then I’ll kiss you.”

“That’s unfair,” I whined.

“Once you eat, I promise you’ll have my full attention, baby,” He laughed. “So needy.”

“Hurry up, Jonathan. We have a lot of making up to do.”

[narrators-journal]

I’ll send a post card

Content warning: I forgot to put this in the last part, but this part includes phone sex and blueballing

Previous: here

Beginning: here

As if to punish Ango for that night in the bathroom at work, Taneada strolled over to his desk a few days later to talk to him about some paperwork he wasn't clear enough on, which instantly set off alarms in the brunette's head. Then, he dropped the facade of nonchalant work chatter and finally confirmed the brunette's worst fear.          "Listen, I know you're already trying to catch up after your 'break', but I need you to do a certain job for me." It may have been blatant that he wasn't the most thrilled with this news, because his boss pat his shoulder reassuringly, "Not to worry, it's a small job. I just need you to fact check an item that's said to have heavy ties to a certain rat." Taneada's smile was friendly, but Ango could tell he really didn't get a choice. So, instead of arguing, he just agreed and noted down his departure time the next day. After that, he seemed to go into his usual auto-pilot, not really zoning back into reality until he was on the plane, his head resting on a neck pillow with his glasses in one hand and his other massaging the bridge of his nose where his glasses usually sat. It gave him a bit of much needed relief in such a familiarly stressful situation. He hated it, but at least he could nap on the plane, so that was a plus, however, he also couldn't call you on the plane, so there was a downside. In fact, he couldn't call you for most of the day when he finally landed a while later in the bitter chill of Russia. He would've called or messaged you when he got to his hotel room, but he didn't get a moment to. Instead, he was only allowed to put his bags in the room and fish out a thick winter coat and gloves before he was back out in the weather, heading off to the towns government branch building to inform his contact that he'd arrived and to fill out the appropriate paperwork to permit him use of his power. He was thankful that at least the building had heat, so he wasn't stuck becoming a popsicle while the polar-bears-for-natives snickered, but he never enjoyed the paperwork for temporary power usage. Of course, Ango never complained. Russia simply had a much stricter grip on the citizen's powers, they had to fill out forms informing the government of their abilities, how they worked, and so on, and weren't allowed to use their abilities without the paperwork Ango was now sat at a desk filling out, so for work, school, medical reasons, whatever situation called for a power. It was kind of like America's gun laws, but much stricter, something the government official appreciated as much as resented for it's thorough nature and how useful it could be when it came to keeping track of people. Of course, the brunette wasn't exempt from this rule, since he would be required to use Discourse on Decadence for his work he spent a good chunk of the remaining day filling out the appropriate paperwork for a temporary permit. Once he was done with that though, he was sent back to his hotel. The sun had already gone down by the time he was back in his room, but he decided to risk the fucked up time zones to talk to you. He missed your humor, voice, and playful demeanor. What could he say? He'd grown fond of having someone to call and at least inform that he was okay.        "Hello?" You chirped through the line, your voice making the man smile a bit,        "Uh, hi, I was just wanting to call and tell you that I'm off on a job, so I'll be gone a few days, but I'm fine." He assured, working on making a cup of coffee while he held his phone with his shoulder and talked to you.         "Oh! That's where you went," you hummed, "Well, where are you in the world?"        "I can't tell you, it's kind of classified, but just know that I am alive and well, and I will eventually be home." He could hear your hum turn into a grumpy huff, making him smile a bit, "I'd tell you my location if I could," He promised, and that seemed to sate your curiosity for a bit. After that, Ango just sat on his hotel bed, sipping his coffee, fishing his laptop out of his bag to work as he spoke with you until you went to bed for the night. After that, Ango sent his first daily progress report back to headquarters and tried to go through some of the relaxing and destressing techniques his therapist had taught him. He also looked into hobbies for himself, something simple and portable to deal with his anxiety towards not being productive 24/7, then, he too went to bed for the night. The next few days were full of work for Ango, made only slightly better by the rituals his therapist had encouraged him to do, but the true bright side of his day was the few times he could text or call you, even if he fell asleep during your conversations. Nevertheless, he found he enjoyed having someone to talk to, someone to fall asleep on the phone with. He had never actually had that.            "Are you going to fall asleep on the call again?" You asked with a snort while Ango walked into his hotel room after another long day of pushing his power to the limits and taking in all of the information he could from the artifact Taneada suspected was tied to the agency's biggest threat at the moment.           "Well, would you prefer I have a healthy sleep schedule, or return to my old habits of staying up for three days straight and then eventually crashing?" He asked, taking his glasses off for the night and stretching out on the hotel bed,            "Damn, when did you stay up for three days straight?"            "It was actually a pretty common occurrence not too long ago. I've told you how I'm a workaholic, right?" He heard your little noise of agreement, "well, before my break, I would take that to the extreme. I would regularly stay up for two or more days straight to work, scrambling to meet impossible deadlines and just file reports or whatnot." he sighed as he explained it, remembering all of the times Taneada would stack more paperwork on him just as he finished the last pile, pushing him to stay up and finish it so that none of it was filed late. It was a miracle he never screwed up on the filing.           "That doesn't sound healthy, I'd prefer you not do that again." you said, pulling him back to reality, "I just want to talk to you and not have you pass out just before I initiate something." He could hear the pout in your voice, and he already knew what you had been wanting to initiate.           "Well, go ahead and initiate your idea now, that way I can't fall asleep before you get the chance." He offered, and he could almost hear your smirk. For a moment, you chatted nonchalantly, flirting and slowly escalated the conversation while he slowly turned redder, but flirted back. It was pretty relaxing to just flirt and lay on the hotel bed with nothing but the closet light illuminating the small room for a while, it also didn't hurt that your dirty talk was easily stirring up filthy images and scenarios in his head. The image of you grinding against his groin like you promised to, having you kissing his neck, the fantasy alone brought his blood directly to his member, but your coy hum while you described everything you wanted to do when he got back just threw gasoline on the fire. Almost mindlessly, his hand slid to the growing tent in his pants, palming himself while you described just how badly you wanted him. In return, he slipped in his own ideas on what would happen when he returned from his trip. He was a bit clunky at first, from a mixture of building pleasure and just plain inexperience, but he got the hang of it pretty quickly and tried not to linger on his mistakes, it'd ruin the high he was trying so hard to maintain. Thankfully, you seemed a little too preoccupied to heckle him about his awkward attempts, too busy assumedly playing with yourself like he was, which he could tell from the way you moaned or got breathy when you spoke. It was a sign he was sure you could hear in his own voice whenever he talked about what he'd do in response to your ideas, but he didn't care. So long as he had the mental image of your (s/c) body against his, with the thought of your moans being heard in person and not through a phone, he couldn't seem to focus on much of anything else, let alone how shameful he may have sounded.                "Are you close?~" You breathed, just as Ango was beginning to slip his hand down his pants to properly stroke his aching member, getting a hum of agreement in response. He expected you to say something dirty, maybe ask if he was thinking of cumming inside of you, but instead of any further dirty talk, he heard you let out a little breath and say "Great, I'm gonna go to bed now~" before hanging up abruptly. For a moment, he just laid there, listening to the silence before his hormone-addled brain caught up to what happened.             "Oh, you are so fucking dead." He growled, yanking his hand from his pants and going to get some toilet paper to wipe it clean before messaging you. Ango: Excuse me?? (y/n): Lol, you're excused🙂 Ango:  Why'd you hang up? (y/n): To blueball you, of course, lolol. That way you're good and riled up when you get home~ Ango: I am not neglecting myself that long. (y/n): Well than, you've got some photos, but until you get back, you don't get to hear me orgasm❤️ For a while longer, he tried to convince you to get back on a call with him, but you were annoyingly stubborn. He was going to need to wait if he wanted any further assistance from you.

[aizawaorkuroo]

on the house (chapter 4) - black coffee

Ship: Yagi Toshinori x reader

Rated: Explicit [18+]

Word Count: 6.5k

Summary: After weeks of dancing around it, Toshinori asks you out.

Warnings: Language, smut, overstimulation, oral sex (both M and F receiving) Size kink (kinda), some nasty hard cold brew, Reader has a vagina

AN: Once again, this blog is 18+!! also, this is the longest chapter i’ve written and uhh over half of it is smut so im nervous grewfwsd 

OTH Masterlist

_______________________________

Clear, blue skies hang above Musutafu, a promise of the approaching summer. The birds chirp pleasantly, and the sun weaves its way through leaves that hang onto branches. Normally, you would’ve been happy to update the chalkboard sign that sits outside Sweet Bean. But today the warmth and the people wondering blissfully about appear to be mocking you.

You hadn’t seen Toshinori since he had walked you home from the police station. Since you had invited him to go upstairs to your apartment with you. A painful heat overtakes your blood, and you wince. Had you been too forward? And while he may have chosen to go home, you still thought he was at least interested. Or that he would at least stop by the cafe.

Aiko wisely doesn’t mention the broken piece of chalk your holding when you walk behind the counter. She does send Suga a knowing look, one that you pretend to not see. You spend the next hour fumbling through orders and dropping stirring spoons and espresso cups. It’s only after you burn yourself on the espresso maker that Aiko pulls you into the back, and glares at you with her hands on her hips.

“Y/N. What’s up with you?” You flush under her gaze, looking anywhere but her eyes. It’s embarrassing - no, mortifying - that you got rejected by someone you both knew. And he still plagues your mind. If you didn’t tell Aiko, at least a shred of dignity would remain.

“And don’t you dare tell me nothing’s wrong,” she chimes. “I know something’s up.” Her gaze softens, and she reaches out to gently grab your arm. “You can tell me anything, y’know?”

Your resolve crumbles immediately. The words tumble out of your mouth; the entire time your stomach feels like it’s doing flips. You’re expecting a laugh or a sympathetic pat, but when you glance up, Aiko’s giving you an incredulous look. Her mouth opens, before closing. You squirm as she makes up her mind about what to say. You’re not really sure when Aiko’s opinion became so important, but it feels like her next words will decide your future.

“You are an idiot.”

You freeze. That was not what you had been expecting. Not even in the slightest. But what did she mean? Should you have not invited him up? Was it wrong to get a crush on a customer? One who knew a lot of regulars? Aiko lifts a finger, stopping your brain from falling off the deep end.

“He clearly likes you,” her voice rings out. “It was obvious when I met him, and based on what you said, there’s no way he doesn’t. You’re just overthinking.” You blink at her dumbly, trying to process. Of course it makes sense that you had spent too much time thinking about it. But how could you not?

“And if you’re worried about him not coming in recently. Well, people get busy. And he’s not a regular. Yet.” She offers you a wink, and you smile softly. Your friend’s words did little to ease the tumultuous waves in your stomach, but they were enough for now. Enough for you to focus.

When you return behind the bar, Suga gives you an uncomfortable nod and a thumbs up. You change your mind. This is still mortifying. Being friends with your coworkers is horrible. But by the time the bell rings, and you see a familiar face you feel lighter.

“Sato! Welcome back! How are you?” you call out. He smiles largely and waves excitedly at you.

“I’m pretty good! How’ve ya been?” You chuckle at his enthusiasm but wave for him to come browse the cakes Suga’s displayed. The two of you awe over the selection when the sound of someone clearing their throat brings you back to reality. Behind Sato are a group of girls that look like they’re from his class. You grin, feeling the weight disappearing from your shoulders.

“Sato, are you going to introduce me to your friends?” He flushes lightly at your question before rubbing the back of his neck.

“Right, these are some of my friends from school. Yaoyorozu, Asui, Uraraka, and Hagakure.” He gestures to each one, and an easy warmth settles over you as they offer polite waves. “I let them try some of the last cake I got from here, and they wanted to come.” You can’t stop the giggle that builds in your chest, before nodding your head.

“Of course, of course. Suga’s baked goods are legendary,” you say loudly enough for Suga to hear from the back. “We’ve also got plenty of drinks on and off the menu. Aiko, will you take their orders?” Aiko skips to the register before chattering away about specials, iced vs. hot, and different sizes. You wink at the girls before turning your attention back to Sato. “What are we thinking today?”

He sheepishly shifts on his feet, avoiding your eyes.

“I’m actually gonna have to wait until next time to get the full cake.” You purse your lips before holding your hand out. He flounders for a second before handing you his rewards card. Ah. He’s an item behind. You stamp his card twice, nod, and hand it back.

“Get whatever you want for you and your friends.” He looks at you blankly, before a large grin spreads across his face.

“Aw yeah! Thanks Ms. Y/N! You’re the best!” you shake your head, nose crinkling at his praise.

“I’m really not. Go grab a table, and I’ll bring your order to you.” He grins up at you before gesturing for his friends to follow him. Aiko turns to you, a small smirk gracing her face.

“That was sweet Y/N, but look alive. There are a few surprisingly complicated orders,” she muses. You nod before jumping into action. With your stress gone, the work is easy and familiar. When you drop off their drinks, they thank you excitedly, and you float back behind the counter.

After that, you’re in the zone. All your bumbling ends, and you’re so focused, that you don’t notice when another familiar face enters the Sweet Bean. You don’t notice as Aiko takes his order. It’s only when you turn around and he hunches down to smile at you that you notice.

You blink stupidly at Toshinori, a warmth rushing through you before you take a step back. The weight that had just been absolved doubles down on you. You stutter out a greeting before crossing your arms in mortification.

“Hi,” you murmur, trying to silence the chaotic butterflies within you. A sharp grin pulls at his features.

“I’ve been meaning to come by, but uh, I got a bit busy,” he says rather sheepishly. You can feel Aiko’s aggressive ‘I told you so’ stare on your back. You keep in a groan, knowing that she’ll hold this over you forever.

“Don’t worry about it,” you reassure him. “I uh, missed seeing you.” You squeeze your arms, the admission making you feel dizzy. Toshinori’s blushes deeply, and warmth pools within you.

“Oh, well.” He rubs the back of his head looking awkwardly at the counter before sheepishly making eye contact. “I was wondering if you’d like to get dinner with me.” His gaze is soft, sending shivers up and down your spine. He looks down again. “If you want? Whenever you’re free?” You take a breath trying to center your thoughts.

“Well, I have work tomorrow night,” you respond. You furrow your brows, trying to think of a time you’re free, but Aiko buts in before you can.

“Oh, don’t worry. Suga and I will cover for you. You’re good tomorrow night.” Her smile is almost cruel, but you flush at her help. Suga’s head pokes out of the kitchen, and he nods in confirmation.

“Thanks guys. Aiko, aren’t you supposed to be getting to your night classes soon.” Her eyes widen, and she sets down Toshinori’s coffee before speeding off. You turn back to Toshinori, nervously playing with the hem of your shirt.

“Then, tomorrow night? Do you remember where I live? It’s unit 506.” He nods, a smirk tugging on his face.

“I can pick you up, at 7? Is that all right?”

You nod stupidly, unable to contain yourself any longer, a grin blossoming on your face. He backs up, heading towards the door while nodding at you, his face mirroring yours.

You press your lips together in a line to contain a giggle before you hold up his coffee, and a look of realization crosses his face. He steps forward to grab the cup, and you try not to flush too much as his fingers brush against yours.

“What’d you get?” you ask. You don’t mean to sound teasing, but sometimes, these things are out of your control. He flushes and avoids your gaze.

“A black coffee.” You nod and make a noise of approval.

“Sometimes, you wanna get straight to the point. I get it. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He turns bright red at your words, and you grin.

“Right. Tomorrow, I’ll see you tomorrow,” he mumbles.

He waves at you and backs up again, giving you one last nod before turning around. He passes by the group of students who are all watching with large eyes. They smile as he waves at them. He gives you one last lazy smile before the door closes behind him. Suga slings an arm around your shoulder letting out a small sigh.

“So are Aiko and I gonna get paid overtime?” You groan and lightly punch his stomach.

_______________________________

You flutter around your apartment, cleaning up mindlessly as you distract yourself. You still had thirty minutes to kill until Toshinori was supposed to get here. The butterflies that had started their flight in your stomach floated up and into your veins. You had been ready for an hour already. The night before, you had been so nervous that you picked out an outfit already. Which left you with too much free time now.

You had wanted to stay at Sweet Bean for a little while longer, but Aiko had refused, forcing you to leave. After making sure she knew Present Mic’s order, and that Suga was really okay with staying late, you went home. And now you’re counting down the minutes until it’s 7:00 PM.

You pace around your apartment, before landing in front of the mirror. You eye your reflection and clutch your phone tightly. In an instant, you nervously hit Aiko’s contact.

“Y/N? Is everything okay?” Aiko cautiously asks.

“Aiko,” you hiss. “I don’t know what I was thinking, I can’t do this.” You scrutinize your skin, every flaw standing out.

“Y/N. I told you this already. He likes you!” she chirps. You sigh uncommittedly. “Remember, he asked you out. Not the other way around.” You hum at her words, her voice making you feel calmer. “Don’t worry! Enjoy your date. Suga and I have everything under control,” she says confidently. You hear a crash in the background and Aiko says her goodbyes and hangs up too fast for you to say anything. You stare blankly at your phone before shaking your head. Nothing you could do about that now.

When a soft knock finally resounds through the living room of your apartment, the butterflies you had just corralled take flight again. You jump to open the door, revealing a flustered Toshinori. He looks good, you think to yourself, letting your eyes trail up and down his form. He’s holding his suit jacket over his shoulder, a tie loosely hangs around his neck. His slacks match the dark color of his jacket.

His eyes run appreciatively up and down your figure, making the butterflies slip into your blood. He grins down at you, handing you a small bouquet of flowers that he’s holding with his other hand.

“You look beautiful. Got these for you.” You flush at the gesture and accept them, biting your lip.

“Thanks. You don’t look half bad yourself,” you say softly. “I’ll put these in water, and then we’ll be good to go.”

He patiently waits for you, and it’s not until you’re walking outside with him that you realize you don’t know where you’re going. Looking down at his hand, in a moment of bravery, you reach down and grab it. He smiles at you softly before lightly squeezing.

“Where are we going, Toshinori?” His grin sharpens, and he eyes you gently.

“Just a place I like going. Wanted to share it with you.” You flush but lean into his arm.

He ends up taking you to a small restaurant that’s tucked away in the corner of Musutafu. You’re seated in a booth across from him, and it all just feels fake. Toshinori is wonderful. Absolutely wonderful in ways that make your stomach flip.

When you ask him about the students you saw yesterday, he flushes and is clearly embarrassed, but it's obvious that he cares about them. He gets a soft faraway look in his eyes, one that melts your heart. He asks about Aiko and Suga, and your nose scrunches up at the thought of Aiko messing up Yamada’s weekly order.

You pick at your food, taking a few bites here and there. In all honesty, you’re too nervous to eat. All you can think about is how Toshinori’s hand is resting against yours on the table.

Everything is absolutely perfect. It feels too good to be true like at any second the air around you will collapse and you’ll wake up from this perfect dream.

When the bill comes, you make an attempt to pay, but the look he sends you has you backing down. There’s the promise of something more, something that sets your blood on fire, and makes your thoughts syrupy.

The walk back to your apartment is heavy. You know what you want. You’ve wanted it for a while. It’s just a matter of what he wants. So you end up back where you were, standing on the steps that lead up to your building. You lightly tug at his hair, and a smile forms on his face.

“Do you want to come up? For some coffee?” you murmur. He licks his lips, sending jolts to your core. He nods slowly, letting you pull him into your building. You fumble with your keys, trying to open the door, but all you can think about is how close Toshinori is. When you finally get the door open, you let him in and head straight for the fridge.

“I’ve got some uh, hard cold brew here. If you’re okay trying that. Make yourself at home,” you call over your shoulder. He nods before settling into the couch. You bring over the glasses, trying to ignore the way your hands are shaking. He accepts it graciously, taking a small sip. His face screws up, and you feel laughter bubble up in your chest.

“Yea, it kind of an acquired taste. Got it at a coffee convention. Sorry about that,” you apologize. He shakes his head, and sets his glass on the coffee table in front of him.

“It’s fine. A coffee convention?” he asks, his words dripping in humor. You flush and look away.

“Yes, a coffee convention. It’s a thing. But uh, maybe hard cold brew shouldn’t be a thing,” you reflect. He makes a noise in agreement, but his eyes soften.

“I didn’t mind it. I just think you mentioned something about getting straight to the point yesterday,” he murmurs. You still under his gaze, warmth sweeping through you. He slowly leans forward, head dipping down. His lips are centimeters from yours, but he stops, letting them ghost against yours. His breath fans against you, and you push forward, meeting his lips.

They’re warm and a bit chapped. But you don’t mind, not when his large hands are traveling up and down the planes of your body. They rest on your hips, softly kneading the flesh that’s there. You moan against him, and his tongue slips into your mouth.

In a moment of bravery, you swing a leg to straddle his lap. He grunts, and you pull away from his lips.

“Are you okay?” you ask, getting ready to get up. His hands hold your hips down, and he nods his head.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just an old accident.” You nod and caress the side of his face. He nuzzles into your hand and your thumb strokes his sharp cheekbone.

“Okay, just..let me know if I hurt you.” He grins before leaning to kiss you again. He wraps his arms around you and it’s like he’s everywhere, surrounding you on every side. Your hips stutter against him, and you try to stop the movement, not wanting to hurt him. He groans, and you come to the conclusion maybe you should get off him.

Right before you slide off of him, his large hands drag your core against him. Oh. Oh. Your face heats up as you realize the last noise he made wasn’t out of pain. You let him grind your hips down into him, and you move to pepper kisses all over his face.

He starts to harden under you, and you hide your face against him. A second wave of confidence has you upping the pace and grinding down into him. Another groan rumbles through his chest and into you.

Your movements slow, and he makes a pained noise. You pull away from him and rise on shaking legs. He looks at you, cocking his head to the side in confusion. You roll your eyes before grabbing his wrist and pulling at him.

“C’mon. There’s not a lotta space on the couch,” you complain. He laughs at that and follows you to your bedroom. The two of you are pulling at each other's clothes, creating a trail from the doorframe to your bed. You’re down to your underwear when you fall on the bed. Toshinori’s left in his boxers and his shirt, and he looks away from you, nervously grabbing onto the hem of the shirt. You can see bits of his scar peeking out from under his shirt, and your gaze softens.

“It’s okay,” you murmur. “You don’t have to show me if you don’t want to.” His intense eyes return to you, and they trail up and down your figure. You flush, embarrassed by his attention. While you meant it when you said he didn’t have to take off his shirt, a large part of you wishes he would. As if hearing his thoughts, he pulls his shirt off over his head, revealing his long torso.

You hold in the gasp that’s threatening to leave your lips. Long, angry lines radiate from a central point on his abdomen. They spiral out and mar a large portion of his skin. Your heart lurches, and he looks so tried/ You see the creases on his face deepen, the shadows increase, and the distance in his eyes. He carries a weight, that much you can see.

“If you don’t want to keep going that’s fine,” he mutters. You scoff at his words, reaching up to tug on the long strands that hang next to his face. He bends down at the motion, and you kiss him deeply, trying to pour all of your feelings into the action. When you pull away, his face is dusted with lovely red, and you can now see that it dips down onto the planes of his chest.

You pull him onto the bed, and he unceremoniously falls next to you. You kiss him again before pushing him on his back, letting his legs hand off the bed. You crawl onto the floor, placing yourself in between his legs. Propping himself up on his elbows, he scoots himself forward as you pull at his legs.

Once he’s at the edge of the bed, you reach up to pull off his boxers. His hips rise, letting you pull them down, and his cock spring free. You flush as it stands proudly in front of you. Toshinori’s beet red, but his mouth is open, letting out little pants. You smirk at him before spitting in your hand and tentatively wrapping it around his dick.

He makes the softest, smallest noise, and it goes right to your aching cunt. Your thumb swipes over the leaking head of his cock, and his hips buck ever so slightly. You grin, leaning up to press a chaste kiss to the underside of his length. He groans, and you start to pump him with your hands, letting your head nuzzle against his thigh.

When he looks down at you, he swears, the sight alone could make him cum: your face flushed against his thigh, looking at him so sweetly, while you jack him off. And then something in your eyes shifts and you lick his cock, from the bottom to the head. He lets out a choked moan, and you do it again before you try to take as much of him as you can in your mouth.

His hips barely thrust up again, but you get the message. Your head bobs delicately around his cock, while your hand pumps around the base. Part of you wonders if he’ll fit inside you, but you’ll think about that later. Right now, saliva and precum fall from your mouth to coat his dick. Normally you would’ve been grossed out, but seeing the blissful look on Toshinori’s face distracted you from the lewdness of the situation.

“You feel so good, sweet girl,” he keens. His praise goes straight to your throbbing core, and you squeeze your thighs together in a lame attempt to relieve some of the pressure.

His hips continue to buck underneath you, and you're positive he’s going to cum soon based on the way his abdomen is tense. To your surprise, his hands pull you away from his dick. You lean into his touch, thighs still squeezing together.

“Did I do something wrong?” you ask while trying to catch your breath. He lets out a small laugh and shakes his head.

“No, it felt too good.” He pulls you back on the bed, pressing a searing kiss to your lips. He pulls away, letting his large thumb stroke over your lips. You open your lips ever so slightly, letting him push it in. When you suck around it, he groans and drops his forehead to rest against yours.

“It felt too good, and I don’t wanna cum yet,” he mumbles. Your tongue swirls against his thumb, and you hum. He shakes his head in disbelief before pulling his thumb out of your mouth and pushing you against the bed. He peppers your neck with kisses while warm hands trail up and down your body before landing on your breasts. He squeezes them before lightly pinching your nipples.

“I really like your hands,” you murmur, feeling stupid after saying it. But a warm laugh resounds through the room.

“Well, I really like touching you.” As if to emphasize his point, he pulls at your nipples harshly.

Squirming against his touch, you run your fingers through his hair. His mouth trails down your body, pressing wet kisses everywhere he can. He licks a stripe between the valley of your breasts, making you flush. He tentatively runs his tongue over a nipple, and you stifle a moan. As if sensing your hesitation, he nips at the hardening bud, while a calloused hand continues to pinch and pluck at your other nipple.

Your grip tightens in his hair, and you lightly tug and you arch against him. You murmur his name, and his eyes delight in your flushed state. He switches to suck and nip at your other nipple, letting his fingers pinch the other one. Once he’s satisfied with how flustered you look, he continues on his path. When he reaches the edge of your underwear, you bite your lip nervously.

He kisses your hip reassuringly before he slides the fabric down your legs. His large hands lightly push apart your thighs, and he lets out a groan at your wet, exposed pussy. Embarrassed, your hands leave his hair to hide your face.

“Please don’t be shy.” He kisses the inside of your thigh, his large thumb reassuringly rubbing the skin there. “I’m honored to be here. It’s a privilege I don’t take lightly.”

You peek out behind your hands, thoughts feeling slow and sticky at his words. His gaze is soft and full of affection as he watches you pry your hands away from your face. Something warm and heavy settles deep in the hollow of your chest. Oh. Fuck. You would deal with that later.

You prop yourself up on your elbows to watch him. When you let your legs widen, he grins and kisses your thigh again. Tentatively, he runs a calloused finger up and down your slit.

“So wet,” he whispers, hit breath fanning against you. You squeeze your eyes shut as he continues his gentle exploration.

His finger doesn’t stop, but his face nuzzles into the soft flesh of your thigh. “Please open your eyes. I want you to watch.” Your face heats up at his words, but you comply, forcing your eyes to open. A sharp grin graces his face, and he slides his finger up to your clit. You bite your lip in an effort to contain your moan, and he shakes his head again.

“I wanna hear those pretty sounds you make,” he murmurs into your skin. His finger traces delicate patterns on your clit, and a choked moan claws its way out of your throat. He hums in satisfaction, and your hands weave into his hair again.

His fingers trail down away from your clit to tease your dripping hole, and you groan. He presses in his finger slowly, marveling at the way your mouth falls open. He slowly pumps his finger into you, letting his thumb occasionally brush over your clit.

You gently buck your hips into his hand, small sighs leaving your mouth. It’s not nearly enough, but it ignites the need for more.

“Faster,” you moan. He smirks but compiles, pumping his finger faster, letting it curl inside you. You thrust your hips in time, trying to increase the delicious friction.

“Toshinori, more. Please.” You tug lightly at his hair, and he presses another kiss into your thigh. A second, thick finger joins the first, and you groan. His thumb lands on your clit with certainty now, and his fingers pump into you, opening you up. You grind into his hand, a terrifying ledge now in view.

“Do you think you can handle another one?” His question makes your pussy tighten around his fingers, and he grins as you nod in overeagerness. “Use your words,” he says. But your mind is slow like honey, so you just mumble the word ‘please’ until he slips a third, large finger in.

You groan at how full you are with just his fingers. They’re heavy and red hot inside you. His eyes flicker between your blissed-out face and your sopping pussy. His fingers hit just the right spot inside you, and your eyes widen in shock. He hits it again, and again, and again, and then you are catapulted over the edge that was apparently much closer than you thought.

You writhe against his hand, thighs shaking and trying to squeeze together. You tug harshly at his hair, but he doesn't stop. No, he doesn't stop until the white-hot coil is ready to snap again. You try to buck away from him, your cunt feeling oversensitive, but he is relentless. His thumb digs harshly into your clit, and you see white spots in your vision.

Your entire body tenses as you cum again. Your eyes screw shut, as your hips writhe violently, a loud moan leaving your throat against your will. You repeat his name like a chant, unable to say anything else. This would’ve been embarrassing except you felt so good you didn’t care.

He crawls up next to you, propping himself up on an arm. There’s an adoring look on his face as you try to catch your breath. A sense of exhaustion falls over you, but you frown when you realize he hasn’t cum yet.

One of his hands reaches out to caress the side of your face, and you lean into it. When you realize this was the hand that was just inside you, you flush before turning your head to suck at his fingers. He groans, watching as you suck away.

“Are you good to keep going? If you’re tired we can stop,” he mumbles, eyes entranced by your mouth. You release his fingers with a pop before kissing his palm.

“I want to keep going.” He grins at your words before sitting up. Your body is covered in a thin sheen of sweat already, but you mimic his action. His cock looks painfully erect, the head an angry red. He was big. You knew that when you had him in your mouth. Even after stretching you out with his fingers, you knew it would be tight. You reach out to stroke his cock tentatively, and he groans.

“It may be…” you start.

“It may be what?”

“It may be easier if I’m on top, at least for now. You’re really big.” Blush sweeps over his cheeks and dips down across his collar bones. You grin as his brow creases in thought.

“Maybe we shouldn’t-” his concerns are cut off by you rising to your knees and swinging a leg over, letting your pussy rest right against the tip of his dick. You lean forward to press a kiss to his red cheek, and you hold his face between your hands.

“Make no mistake, Toshinori. I want you inside me.” A deeper red blooms on his skin at your words, but his eyes are blown out, and he nods, letting his hands fall to your waist. Your hands leave his face to clutch at your shoulders, and you tentatively drop down.

The stretch of his cock makes your mouth open stupidly. Slowly, you rise up again and sink further down. Toshinori moans loudly, the vibrations traveling through you. He buries his face into your neck as you continue to spear yourself on his cock.

When he’s fully sheathed inside you, you still. He peppers kisses against your neck, your jaw, your face. You feel so blissfully full you almost don’t notice them. He’s everywhere, surrounding you on all sides, inside and out. He’s trembling, you can feel his muscles quaking underneath your fingers. Ever so slowly, you rise on your knees, keening at the way his cockhead drags against you. When you fall back down, his moan sets your blood on fire.

The pace you set isn’t terribly fast, but it feels good. Toshinori’s hands grip your waist tightly, and he looks at you in pure awe. You bounce on his dick, taking in every sound and expression he makes. He gently thrusts up to meet you, making you whine. Having him inside you was almost too much. The air is warm and thick, and so is your blood. Your movements start to feel clumsy, and you try to keep it up as long as you can, but your thighs are starting to burn, and your pace falters.

You tug at his hair and whine. His hands run up the sides of your body before reluctantly forcing you to still.

“Do you think you’re okay with me on top?” You nod at his question, too full and fucked to answer with words. Toshinori gently twists, letting your body hit the bed. Caging you in with his arms, he tentatively rocks into you.

You clench around him and whine. He litters your face with kisses again as he thrusts into you, increasing the pace once you settle. Your arms hang lazily around his neck, and you lift your hips to try and meet his thrusts. You’re so full, so content.

Toshinori shifts to let an arm slide in between you two. Two fingers gently tease your tired clit. He continues thrusting into you as the teasing becomes aggressive, his fingers rolling the sensitive nub.

“Toshinori, I’m close,” you whine. He nods, increasing his pace, trying to push you off the ledge again. When he pinches your poor clit, you tighten around him. Your body locks up, and you scream.

When you cum, you pull him down into you, trying to merge your souls. Everything’s golden and warm. He’s trembling against you as you writhe, and he barely pulls out in time to paint your stomach with his thick cum. Your pussy clenches around air, and it’s only then that you realize your quirk is making you literally glow.

You breathe deeply, trying to regain control, and your head falls against the pillow. Toshinori falls next to you, and he strokes your cheek adoringly. You’re overcome with a tsunami of different emotions. A warmth pricks at the back of your eyes, and to your horror, you can’t stop the tears that force their way out. A large thumb sweeps out to softly brush away the salty drops.

“Oh god, don’t tell me I’m so bad I made you cry.” You let out a laugh and shake your head.

“I just came so hard I almost blacked out. I just…” you wince uncomfortably, but nonetheless continue. “This is so stupid.” You pinch the bridge of your nose, but force yourself to keep talking. “I just don’t want you to break my heart,” you manage to choke out. You take a breath, wanting to say more, but the words stick in your throat.

He kisses along your jaw before pausing, indicating for you to continue. Once you do, he slowly leaves sleepy wet kisses along your neck.

“Well, I mean I barely know you, really, but I want you to have the world instead of having to carry its weight. I don’t know why you’re carrying that type of weight. I truly don’t.“ He freezes against you, pulling away from your neck.

“And I get that me being an absolute moron and talking about it after we just fucked isn’t gonna change that. Especially now that I’m crying like an idiot. I get it, but fuck, I want to be there for you. I mean it when I say I’d give you the world if I could. Fuck, I’d carry it so you could have a moment of peace.”

When you glance at him, he’s looking at you so softly, so tenderly, that your heart swells. He kisses you sweetly, trying to convey a thousand emotions with a single gesture. When he pulls away, you run your fingers through his thick hair.

He shifts to kiss your collarbones, before moving lower. He peppers your body with small, affectionate kisses, stopping when he reaches your stomach. His fingers swipe at his sticky cum before he looks up at you.

“I don’t deserve you,” he murmurs. You flush before tangling your hands with one of his. He continues his exploration of your body, avoiding his cum, but leaving sweet kisses against your skin. When his face ends up between your legs, your stomach flips. You squeeze your thighs together, embarrassed at having him so close to your abused pussy.

“Open up sweet girl. Don’t be shy. I was just down here.” His voice rumbles against you, and your face heats up, but your body reacts to his words.

“Hmmm. Positively soaked.” He squeezes your hand in affection while you take shaky breaths. He trails a finger down your oversensitive slit, and you squirm, trying to either escape or get closer. You can’t tell the difference at this point.

When his finger brushes against your achy clit, your entire body tenses. His finger gently teases your clit, and you rock your hips against him, your overworked cunt already tense. He lowers his mouth against you, letting his tongue replace his finger, and you writhe. He gently unlaces your fingers, guiding your hand to tangle in his hair. Your fingers tense on his scalp, as he moves to grip your waist, holding you down.

His tongue flicks against your bundle of nerves, making you buck against his face. The warmth of his mouth almost burns you. It’s too much, but it feels so good.

“Toshi,” you moan. A laugh rumbles through his chest, the vibrations going straight to your clit. He slides a large finger into your exhausted cunt and you writhe. A calloused pad lightly curls up into a soft spongy spot deep in you, and your thighs quake, a white-hot wave of pleasure flows through you. He works you through your orgasm, tongue never letting up on your clit. When your orgasm passes he doesn’t stop.

In fact, his ministrations intensify as he slips in a second finger to join the first. You tug his hair away from you, trying to pry his torturous mouth away from you.

“Toshi, I can’t. It’s too much,” you whine. He chuckles again before pressing a kiss to your trembling thigh.

“One more. Let me give you one more,” he murmurs into your skin. Your grip on his hair loosens and he leans back in to kiss your clit. His lips form a seal around your clit, and he lightly sucks. His clever fingers pump into you, unrelenting. Your hips buck, and you whine loudly. You’re so close again. When his teeth lightly nip at your poor, abused clit, it’s over. The white-hot feeling in the pit of your stomach explodes. Your mouth opens in a silent scream, and you writhe uncontrollably against Toshinori’s face. He laps dutifully at your pussy, despite your pawing at his face.

When he finally lets your hips go, you're shaking. You weakly tug at him, urging him to crawl back up to you. He relents, and you kiss him deeply, flushing at tasting yourself on his lips. When he pushes himself out of your bed, you lean up, a questioning look in your eyes.

“Bathroom?” he asks.

“Through that door.” You gesture with your head before flopping back down against the bed. When he returns, he’s got a damp cloth and a glass of water. He hands you the cup, which you graciously chug. Your heart flutters lightly as he kneels to wipe your exhausted pussy and clean his cum off you. You breathe deeply, trying to catch your breath. The bed dips next to you as he curls around you.

Your head nestles into his chest, and you play with his hair gently. You twirl one of the long strands that frame his face around your finger, the other palm pressed gently against his chest.

“Hey,” you whisper. He smiles at you kindly.

“Hi,” he whispers back. You bite your lip, overcome with affection.

“Toshinori?” you gently ask. He hums in response, eyes shut as he enjoys your soft touches. You think of the warm, heavy feeling that’s deep in your chest. “I really like you.” One of his eyes opens and blinks at you.

“I really like you too,” he murmurs before pulling you close to him. In his warm embrace, you let your eyes shut, and sleep overtakes your exhausted body.

[snowdice]

Gaps in His Files (Part 12) [Relabeled; Refiled Series]

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Logan/Patton

Characters:

Main: Logan, Patton

Appear: Remy, Virgil (but only in the epilogue)

Summary:

Logan Berry has learned many things the last 10 years: a lot of math and physics, a bit of humility, and how to be a hero being just a few. Through his education, his experience teaching, and his exploits as the superhero Bluebird, he’s changed in a lot of small and large ways. He has recorded these changes in well-organized documents and files. He’s even had to create two new file designations: a red one for files about his moonlighting at Bluebird, and a light blue one dedicated to his boyfriend, Patton.

When Bluebird is targeted by a memory device and all of those 10 years of progress suddenly disappear, Patton Sanders and Logan’s extensive files are left as his only resource to get those memories back. But what is Patton supposed to do when there are clear gaps in his files? And what does he do when he is one of them?

This is set 25 years before Sometimes Labels Fail though it’s story is completely independent of it and it is not necessary to read that one first.

Notes: Superhero AU, memory loss, past child abuse, past child neglect, unhealthy ideas about ones place in relationships, emotional suppression, self-deprecating thoughts, medical procedures mentioned, very brief unhealthy views of sex

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

This one is very heavy. Patton is spiraling hard and expresses some very unhealthy deep seated views of himself and his role in relationships. So be warned and if you want to wait to read this, feel free. Basically all of the warning in the notes apply in this one except medical procedures.

Patton’s back ached from falling asleep on the floor next to the couch once again the night before. It had been horribly quiet in the apartment in the last 24 hours since Patton returned from the hospital to find Logan gone. He didn’t know what to do.

They’d defaulted back to looking through the files that they’d already pretty much read through at this point and Patton was starting to wonder if there was even any point. They’d looked through the red ones last night and the green ones this morning before rotating back to the blue ones which were now spread all over the coffee table.

Patton had snagged one of the fluffier blankets from the closet and curled up under it, but it didn’t make him feel any better. In fact, he might feel worse because he couldn’t keep insisting that Logan pet it like he normally would.

Logan didn’t even seem to care enough to voice his obvious unhappiness with Patton. His silence just made Patton feel worse and worse and made his thoughts spin and spin. Logan was tapping his fingers against the table thinking about something. Usually Patton would respond to that action with patient fondness, but today it just made him want to curl up into a ball wondering what he was thinking. Patton’s mind kept returning again and again to that place it had been in on and off the last two months except that place was getting darker and darker every time he came back around to it.

Ever since the rejected proposal, Patton had tried to figure out what it was about him Logan didn’t like. He’d tried all sorts of things. He’d tried not inviting himself over to his apartment as much, not being as pushy about Logan taking care of himself, offering sex less, offering sex more, not being as pushy about spending time with him, being more quiet, letting him decide what they did on dates, not talking as much about his job, not depending on him as much when he was stressed, not crying in front of him when he was overwhelmed. He’d tried. He’d tried so many things.

The problem was Logan. Or at least Logan before.

What Logan hated most in life was change and he’d clearly gotten used to how Patton naturally acted over the years. Thus, he kept getting distressed when Patton tried to change something.

When Patton avoided his apartment for over a week, he’d asked if Patton was mad at him and then since Patton had that Saturday off, he’d managed to cajole Patton into spending all day in Logan’s bed napping and cuddling.

The not pushing him to care for himself had only lasted a few hours. Patton knew it had to be annoying, but he couldn’t stop himself from reminding him to eat breakfast and Logan hadn’t seemed mad when he’d started back up. He’d even brushed a kiss across his cheek when Patton handed him a plate of bacon and breakfast potatoes.

He seemed to be able to tell when Patton wanted to have sex with a startling amount of pinpoint accuracy, like he had Patton down to a science. When Patton wanted it, but didn’t start something, he initiated it himself and he looked at him with abject confusion when Patton tried something when he didn’t want it.

He showed up to the hospital to take Patton to lunch in the cafeteria when he didn’t mention meeting up for lunch because he assumed the reason was that Patton was too busy that day. He pushed when Patton didn’t speak much, citing that he was worried something was wrong and he insisted on his input on dates before he’d move forward with any plans.

Patton had kept quiet about his job for three days before Logan had gone and talked to Remy behind his back to ask if something was wrong at work. Under pressure from both of them, he’d spewed out the buildup of stress all over the place. And it was so hard. It was so hard not to cry about it when Logan pressed soft kisses to his cheeks and temples and asked him if he was okay.

But now Logan wasn’t used to Patton and wasn’t set into patterns that he probably didn’t actually like, but just allowed because he wanted to be nice to Patton and was used to it. The problems with Patton were becoming apparent every time Logan side eyed him.

Patton had been hoping that maybe he could figure out from this version what parts of Patton he really did not like. Then Patton could hold more firm about getting rid of those things once Logan got his memories back. He’d definitely appreciate it after an adjustment period. That is if Logan even wanted him after this. He hoped he’d at least give Patton a chance to fix himself.

Patton was good at pretending. He knew how to cut pieces of himself off to get people to love him back. He’d had a lot of practiced. Make sure to do your homework at the dinner table at mom’s house so she knows you’re not being lazy. Cook when you’re at dad’s house so dinner is ready when he gets home from work, but make sure you’ve cleaned up by the time he gets home, so he doesn’t see you cooking. Don’t let grandma cook potatoes; she doesn’t like them and will blame you for them being on the dinner table. Never turn on the television at mom’s house; it rots the brain. Make sure the television is on the sports channel by the time dad gets home. Don’t touch grandma’s remote no matter how loud the volume is. Sit up straight for mom. Don’t cry in front of dad. Be quiet for grandma. Pretend dad doesn’t exist for mom. Call dad’s new girlfriend mom. Don’t try to correct grandma when she calls you by your dead grandfather’s name. Get good grades. Get into a good college. Get a job that pays well. Don’t complain. Don’t get in trouble. Don’t be gay.

Patton knew how to do it all. Logan had never asked it of him. Never, not once had he told Patton that he needed to fix himself or that he had to change for him; he deserved it more than any of them.

“We’ve talked a lot about me,” Logan said surprising Patton out of his churning thoughts especially since he had barely spoken all day. “but what about you?” he asked. “Tell me more about you. Tell me about our relationship. Why do you want to be with me or at least the me with my memories?”

“I…” Patton started. “There are a lot of reasons.”

“Then tell me one.”

Patton bit his lower lip. “You read my papers.”

“Your papers?”

“I’ve written a few research papers and you looked them up and read them and tried to understand them because you wanted to be able to talk to me about something I was interested in. That was the first time in my life that someone looked at me and it felt like they actually wanted to know me. And you kept doing things like that. You remember my coffee order and bring my favorite sandwich to the ER even when you know I’m in surgery and I can’t be there to see you so you just leave it with someone else to give it to me when I’m done. You eat the stupid cafeteria food at the hospital when I only have time for a 30-minute lunch just to spend time with me and after the first time we had sex, you got up early and cooked me an omelet because you didn’t know how to cook anything else. You try to find ways to help me feel better when I’m upset even though it doesn’t come naturally to you and you’re willing to throw popcorn in my mouth from across the room with your powers just because I ask even though you think it’s silly. You once took me on a picnic to a park 5 hours away because I mentioned how much I loved it when a group of us went there on a retreat during medical school even though you don’t like eating outside because of the bugs. And you didn’t even complain… well, I mean, you did complain, but only enough to make me laugh, not so I thought you really resented being there with me. When we go to parties and I say I want to go home, you pretend to get a migraine so we can leave early and sometimes we end up having sex in the car outside. And even though you complain about how annoying you think Remy is, you know he’s my friend so you still make a point to make an effort with him and hang out with him even when I’m not there. So…” he swallowed. “Yeah.”

“You really love me,” he stated, eyes intent on him and unreadable.

“Every part of me loves you Logan,” Patton said, gripping the soft blanket in his fingers. “You can have whatever pieces you want.”

“Whatever pieces?” he echoed.

Patton forgot for a moment that the man in front of him did not have context, that he didn’t and couldn’t understand what Patton was asking. “Look,” he said. “I know there is something wrong with me. I know there are parts of me that annoy you or make you angry, but if you just tell me what they are I’ll change them.”

“You think I don’t like all of you?” Logan asked.

“Clearly not!” Patton said, standing up suddenly and throwing the blanket off onto the ground. He paused and took a breath, forcing his tone to be calm and clinical, like he did when he got too emotional at work. “Look at this,” he gestured to the piles of files in front of him: blue, green, and red. “This is everything from your personal files to your work files to the files for your alter ego, but where am I? You have the receipt from the first fast food order you bought with your credit card, the invitation from your five-year high school reunion that you didn’t even go to, and your sixth-grade report card. But there is nothing in here about me. Not really. I am not important enough for you to keep. But I can be if you just tell me how. I can be whatever makes you happy. If you love me at all, I will rip myself apart until I’m what you need.”

Logan looked him directly in the eyes. “If I love you, I don’t want that.”

Patton blew up. “Then what do you want, Logan?!” He snapped his mouth closed and looked away, tears that had been building since Logan had lost his memory, since Patton’s marriage proposal had been rejected, since his mom had first called him stupid because he’d gotten a B on a math test in the 5th grade, springing to his eyes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t…” he swallowed and stood, a picture of calm. “It has been a stressful couple of days,” he said, flicking a tear off his cheek. “I think I need to go back to my place and rest for a while. I’ll come back tomorrow morning and we can… I don’t know, try aromatherapy or something.”

Before Logan could say anything more, Patton beat a hasty retreat.

Want to read more? Click below!

Part 13

[whorenita]

So i have had like the best sleep of my life the past couple days downing some of sleepytime/bedtime teas then listening to Nanami Kento (his va is kenjiro tsuda) asmr (not the nsfw ones though) Literally knocks me right out. I never thought I could listen to asmr to relax before (there are some nsfw ones I like from sakusa’s va) so like the effects were extra potent or something it was fantastic. I only have one class left (finally conquered AP lit with a 95% on my final and a 92% in the course) and i have 14 days left of school. Aside from working myself to the bone, which my bank account appreciates, I’m doing pretty well!! I’ve also started going out with this girl I really like but sapphic relationships are impossible so I can’t tell if we’re going out or like.... going out. But she got her full license this week and is super excited that we can drive around in her convertible. Oh and I got my covid vaccination yesterday and oof man was I out for the count felt like I got hit by a bus after doing a full body workout. But it’s like starting to feel like summer and track is going well and scholarship money is rolling in so I feel on top of things. How are you doing?

congrats on the AP testing bro and passing with such a good grade!! that’s definitely not easy, especially this year with covid. it’s also very nice you’re graduating in two weeks. ray and i still have another 3 :((

how’s the job been? obviously nice for the bank account like you said but is it enjoyable at all? i start up payed coaching again when school gets out and i’m also gonna apply for a job at a pizza place downtown. i hated my boss last year and when he called to ask if i was working there again i flat out said no jsbsjsj

okay and sapphic dating? so fucking hard. it’s so difficult to tell what’s going on and what i’ve learned from last experience is to straight up just ask what your relationship is. it’s hella scary but very useful and has helped tons. i hope it works out with her tho!!!

also the audios? gonna have to get on that train. i’m not really into asmr but i like nanamis voice SM especially cause he doesn’t make that gross wet sound when he speaks. he has very crisp sounding words so i’ll have to give those a listen. i’m not a fan of sakuna at all (his va is super talented tho) so i doubt i’ll listen to those.

my firsy covid vaccine also hit me pretty hard and i crashed. i felt so gross and i was asleep by 7:30 that night. i get my next one on the 21st and i’m really hoping it’s only a day or so that i don’t feel good. i doubt i’ll go through it unscathed tho. also i’m glad track and school stuff has been going well for you!

if i’m honest, i’ve been very very stressed. it’s been difficult for me to stay active online cause of it but we move. i think once i’ve committed to a school i’ll be leased stressed. i’m visiting two next week and one of those schools has already offered me a spot on the track team which is a bonus. i’m very excited to see the schools and stuff.

thank you so much for the ask bro 🤧🤧🤧

[steddieonmywaywardson]

Aaron Dingle Week Day 7

This week went by so fast! I’m coming in near the last minute here but I finally decided to explore some more Seb and Aaron silliness! 

I’ve really enjoyed this week and it’s been the biggest boost to my creativity in a long time and much needed. Thanks to @lizzzzoo @howellobrien and @like-the-first-time-i-kissed-you for organizing the event! 

So without further ado, here’s my day 7 in which Seb is a schemer like his Dad and Daddy Aaron just wants his son to be happy. 

“Seb, where are your school shoes?” 

“Daddy threw them away,” Seb replied, his face pure innocence and light. Aaron raised an eyebrow at his small son. He was dressed in his school sweatshirt and new grey trousers all ready to start his first day in Year One. That was aside from the shoe issue. 

“And why would Daddy do that?” Aaron asked. 

“‘Cos school is bad,” Seb said adamantly. 

It had been a trial and a half to get Seb into his new uniform. Apparently he’d taken it into his head that there was no way he was ever going to school and he didn’t need to anyway. 

“No it’s not,” Aaron replied. Of course, he hadn’t had the best time at school. Nor had he been the best student either but he wasn’t about to admit that. 

“But I don’t want to go to school today Daddy Aaron,” Seb pouted. He sat down on the sofa and folded his little arms across his chest. He looked so much like Robert when he was in one of his moods that Aaron had to struggle to keep a straight face. 

“Well I don’t want to go to work today but I have to,” He went to the kitchen bin and, sure enough, there were Seb’s brand new school shoes. “It was naughty of you to put them in the bin Seb,” He chided as he knelt down in front of the sofa. He started to help his son into the shoes which only worsened the pout. 

“You’re a mean daddy,” He said. 

Aaron tried his best not to take that one to heart. It was hard because he often doubted his abilities as a father. While Seb generally seemed to be a happy go lucky child, it was moments like this that made him think twice. He decided the best option would be to change tactics. He was pretty sure that Robert wouldn’t be too happy about it when he found out but needs must. 

“Come on kid, you loved nursery. You’ll get to see all your friends and I bet your new teacher is going to be really nice,” He wheedled. “And, if you’re a very good boy, I’ll get you a treat ok?” 

And while Aaron wasn’t about bribery, Seb wasn’t above turning on the waterworks. 

He cried when Aaron put on his shoes. He cried in the car. He cried when Aaron brought him into the school building. He cried when his new teacher took him by the hand.

“Don’t worry Mr Dingle, it’s normal for children to be this nervous on their first day,” The teacher said comfortingly. “Don’t worry, he’ll be fine,” 

Except Aaron did worry. He couldn’t help but feel as if this whole ordeal was torturing the poor little kid. He was beginning to wish that he’d left Robert to deal with this whole first day thing. In fact, he should’ve downright insisted. 

He tried his best to focus his mind on work but he couldn’t help watching the clock. They’d agreed that Robert would be the one to pick him up from school so Aaron waited until he knew they’d be home before calling. As soon as Robert picked up the phone, Aaron let rip with his worries that Seb had had a horrible day and was probably still upset. 

“Give over! he’s fine. He’s sitting at the kitchen table and having some juice and cookies. What’s all this about a treat?” Robert asked. “I thought we weren’t bribing him. Remember that hassle you gave me for buying him that jigsaw puzzle to get him to go to the dentist? what was it you said?” 

“Erm...I don’t remember,” Aaron replied quickly. He looked at the bag at the side of his desk. He’d already hurried to the nearest toy store on a scrap pick up and bought Seb a lego dump truck. 

By the end of the week, Seb had most of the construction vehicles set. 

****

Robert decided to put an end to the bribery when Seb started to ask for a Lego fire station. 

“How about we make it an early Christmas present?” Aaron asked. It had been an utter delight to take Seb to school over the past week. He’d gotten into his uniform and school shoes with no hassle and he’d been practically chomping at the bit to get out of the door every morning. Robert was insisting it was to do with the promise of a present waiting for him at the end of the day but Aaron liked to think his ‘motivational tools’ as he called them (definitely not bribes actually Robert) were paying off. 

“No Aaron. It’s bloody September!” 

“But he’s happy,” Aaron replied. “That’s all we want innit? Seb to be happy. He hates that bloody school. He’s always telling me that it’s horrible. Maybe we should think about homeschooling or something,” 

“Right and you’re gonna give up the scrapyard to sit at home and teach him right? because I’m certainly not giving up my job to be a homeschool teacher!” Robert sighed. “He likes school and school likes him. He’s not miserable or struggling. He’s just manipulating you to get what he wants and you’re letting it happen,” 

“Are you trying to tell me that a five year old is already trying to con people into giving him what he wants just like his Daddy?” Aaron asked doubtfully. 

“What can I say?” Robert replied with pride. “The kid’s got a good business head on his shoulders. Don’t ever do anything without getting something in return, good business acumen is that. Our boy’s going to run an empire some day!” 

Aaron rolled his eyes. Clearly his husband was just being dramatic. There was no way his little boy was capable of something like that. 

Still, the next time Aaron dropped Seb off at school and managed to avert the distressed tears with the promise of some more Lego, he decided to hang around. 

His little son stood bravely at the entrance of the classroom. He gave him a watery yet martyred looking smile before he followed his fellow classmates inside. Aaron could hardly bear it. The kid was being such a little trouper. He wanted nothing more than to go inside the classroom and take Seb away from yet another miserable day in a class he hated. The impossibility of promising his son that he’d never have to go to that school again hit him hard. Perhaps if he stood by the large classroom window and his son could see him, it would give him a little comfort? 

Aaron did just that. He ignored the strange looks he was getting from some of the other parents as he waved in front of the large window. 

His son, his darling Seb, who had been causing him so much stress and worry and sleepless nights since this school business started, was sitting at a table with five other kids. They were chattering away nineteen to the dozen. Seb was smiling widely and, with a dramatic flail of his arms, caused the rest of his table to crack up laughing. A minute or two later, his teacher came into the room. She approached the table and started to hand out some colourful lumps of dough. She gave each kid a nod and big smile and, when she reached Seb, actually ruffled his hair. Seb looked up to her and grinned up at her adoringly. 

She moved onto the next table and that was when Seb realised he was there. He instantly snapped on his saddest face and offered the most forlorn wave that Aaron had ever seen in his life. 

Aaron couldn’t believe it. It was all true. He’d been had by a five year old. As he walked away from the classroom, he couldn’t help but chuckle to himself. The lad really was a minute version of Robert. 

Like father, like son. 

[slapshot-to-the-heart]

Flatbush & Atlantic: part ix

part i part ii part iii part iv part v part vi part vii part viii

And here we’ve got part ix! This will be the second-to-last part of the series, I’ve got some thoughts also running around for a possible epilogue if that’s something anyone would be interested in reading. As always, there’s literally nothing writers love more than hearing from you all, so don’t be afraid to come and tell me what you think - my inbox is open, comment on the post, reblog with your thoughts!

part ix

April 27 (tues)

Mat’s mind was racing. If he was honest, he hadn’t been able to concentrate worth a damn since Cass had dropped the news about her job offer. Hong Kong? He knew she was brilliant, knew that her skills could and should take her anywhere in the world she wanted to go; the thought that she might leave New York, leave him, was still terrifying. Becoming more worried by the minute, he pulled out his phone, dialing the first person he could think of that might be able to help. 

Tito answered on the first ring. “Hello?”

“Hey, Tito. What’s up?” Mat asked nervously. 

“What’s wrong, Mat?” He immediately asked. Mat cursed under his breath; even over the phone, Beau was always able to read him like a book. 

Mat grimaced. “That obvious, huh?”

“Mat, we see each other pretty much every day. Not to be a jerk or something, but you don’t really call me unless something’s wrong. What is it? Did you and Cass have a fight?” Mat could imagine him crossing his arms on the other end. 

“Not exactly,” he said, scratching his head as he wandered aimlessly around the park. “She got this job offer, and it sounds like a really exciting opportunity, but…” He trailed off. 

“But?”

“It’s all the way in Asia. It’s in Hong Kong.” 

Tito sucked in a breath. “Oh, wow. That’s a big one. Big move. Has she said if she’s going to take it?”

“Not really, she hasn’t decided.” Mat shook his head, not realizing Tito wouldn’t be able to see. “We talked through it a little, they’re offering a really good starting salary and she likes the company values, but it’s such a huge jump that she’s not ready to make the call yet.” 

“Did you talk about what it would mean for you as a couple?”

“A little, though not as much as we probably should have,” Mat admitted. “Neither of us would want to break it off just because it would be long distance, but logistically it would just be a nightmare. It’s something like a 15 hour flight from New York, so it’s not like either of us would ever be able to make that more than once or twice a year. Did you know that it’s a twelve hour time difference from here?”

“No,” Tito said, “and it’s obviously not like I know exactly what you’re going through. Paige is a kindergarten teacher, so it’s not exactly like her job would suddenly pick up and move to another country. But it’s obviously a different story with me.”

As distracted as he was, Mat felt compelled to respond. “You know they’re going to resign you, right? It would be a terrible move for them if they didn’t.”

“Yeah, I mean that’s what I’ve figured,” Beau responded. “And my agent told me to expect negotiations to start in the next month or so, but still. I could be sent to Winnipeg or Phoenix or Vancouver pretty much without notice, and I wouldn’t want to ask her to just pick up her whole life and follow me. So, I get the feeling.” He paused for a moment. “How do you feel about it?”

“Mixed feelings,” Mat answered honestly. “I’d never want to hold her back from anything, that’s not the kind of person I am and it’d be a dick move regardless. She’s her own person and deserves to be able to make her own decisions. And I would never want her to grow to resent me if she decided to stay for my sake. That would almost be worse. I just..I really love her, Tito, and I would hate for us to never be able to see eachother because of her job. Or worse, for this to mean the end of us because the distance was too hard to deal with.”

It took Tito a minute to respond. “I know you love her, Mat. It’s pretty obvious. You look at her like she hung the moon. But if they all say that things will work out if you love each other and talk it through, then what are you so worried about?”

Mat took a deep breath before answering, trying to gather his thoughts as best he could. When he spoke, his voice wavered. “Because I’ve never been this gone for a girl, Tito. What Cass and I have...I don’t even know how to describe it. I’d stop the Earth turning if it made her happy. It’s just...she’s it for me. I’m done looking. And the idea that I could be 13,000 kilometers away from her isn’t even something I had considered. I wouldn’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do.”

“Wow. That’s...that’s big, Mat. You serious?”

“As a heart attack,” he replied. 

“When do they need to hear back by?” Tito asked.

Mat looked down at his watch, checking the time. “Not for a few weeks. She’s got some time to decide, which is almost worst.”

Tito hummed sympathetically. “Just talk it through. I can’t pretend like I know what’s going to happen, but I have faith in you. It’s going to work out.”

“I hope so.”

 May 13 (thurs)

 It was nine days before Cass graduated, and if she was being honest, her time may have objectively been better spent studying for her finals, the first of which was Monday. But this was Mat, and this was the Stanley Cup Playoffs, and she supposed that her studies could wait for a night while she spent her evening at Barclays. It was Game 5 of the Eastern Conference final, and there was no way she was going to miss her team’s chance at the Wales trophy. The tone in the arena was tense from the moment she stepped in; ever the optimist, Cass liked the Islanders’ chances, but the fact remained that they were down 3-1 in the series after a 4-0 rout by the Lightning in Game 4. The series had started off with forward momentum after winning the first game at home, but the three-game losing streak had done little for the fans’ hopes and even less for the team’s morale. 

The only bright spot, if she could call it that, was Mat’s return to the ice. He knew as well as anything that the recovery time was for his own good, but he wasn’t made to be cooped up in his apartment for nearly two weeks straight, save only doctor’s appointments and short trips to the complex gym. Per his usual dramatic fashion, Mat had been cleared in time for Game 7 of the second round, returning to raucous cheers and scoring two goals in the eventual 4-2 win over the Capitals. She had caught up enough on her work to be able to make the game, and it was one of the great joys of her life to be up in a box surrounded by her friends when the love of her life scored the goal that sent the Islanders to the conference finals for the first time in nearly thirty years. 

That kind of a dramatic win had made the losing streak that much harder. Game sevens are always exciting, especially with someone coming back off of injured reserve. While the win hadn’t made the team cocky by any means, the confidence had carried over into something more closely resembling complacency. They won Game 7, they won the first of the next series, so some of the team — mostly the younger players who hadn’t yet cut their teeth in the league — had made the mistake of assuming that the rest of the round would be smooth sailing. They should have known better, Cass thought ruefully as the Lightning scored two minutes before the first intermission to even the score at 1-1. Why couldn’t this be the round before, filled with confidence and coordination and laser-focused passing on every line? Why couldn’t it have been the celebration after? 

---

May 3 (tues)

 Winning a game sometimes called for going out. Winning a series almost definitely called for going out. And winning a series in Game 7 that sent your team to the conference finals for the first time in recent memory called for going out, and going out hard. As much as Cass would have loved to get as hammered as the rest of the group, especially considering the stress she was under with finals and graduation and her job offer piling up, they didn’t want a repeat of the afterparty from the All-Star Game, and Cass still had school the next day. So, she had committed to limiting herself to three drinks. “I want to be tipsy, not shitfaced,” she had explained to Paige on the drive over. Tito had driven his car over, Paige volunteering to DD so the boys could let loose and everyone could let off some much-needed steam. 

Someone had already opened up a tab for everyone by the time their car had gotten there, and it wasn’t ten minutes before they had claimed a few couches in the corner and Cass had a caipirinha in her hand. She was a little worried that Mat’s tolerance had tanked in the past few weeks; he hadn’t really drank since before the concussion and it was their first time at a bar in a few weeks regardless. Mat noticed her nervous glances out of the corner of his eye. “I’m fine,” he reassured her. “I specifically asked the doctors if I was good to drink at my last appointment and they said I was in the clear.”

Cass giggled, sipping her drink. “You asked your doctors if you could drink alcohol?”

“What can I say?” Mat shrugged. “I wanted to go out and get lit with friends, can you blame me?”

Cass’ giggles had evolved into full-on belly laughs. “Lit? What are you, sixteen?”

Mat’s cheeks reddened in what was probably a combination of alcohol and embarrassment. “My cousin said it once.”

Cass headed back over to the bar a few minutes later for another drink, leaving the boys to talk amongst themselves with the occasional interruption from an excited fan. On a high from the win, the team were more than happy to take photos and have quick chats with anyone who stopped them, and thankfully weren’t mobbed by the crowd inside the bar. For the most part, Cass and her relationship with Mat had been able to fly under the radar — well, as much as she could being Mat Barzal’s other half. Her Instagram hadn’t been private since college, and while a fair few fans and fanpages followed her, it had all remained mercifully low-key. Waiting at the bar, she resigned herself to scroll through Twitter for a few minutes, knowing it would be a little while before the bartender got to her. 

“Are you Cassidy Shaw?” Cass’ head turned slowly towards her right, where a short blonde girl looked at her with a shocked expression. 

“Cabrera Shaw, but yes?” She answered slowly. 

“Sorry!” The girl apologized, “I didn’t mean to be weird or anything. I follow you on Instagram, it’s just so weird to finally see you in person.” Cass gave a nervous laugh. She had fans? On Instagram? Who were excited if they met her in real life? 

“One Southside and whatever your favorite IPA on tap is, please,” Cass said to the bartender who had just leaned over the counter to get her order. “Thank you? You’re welcome?” Cass smiled awkwardly.

“I just wanted to say that I think it’s super cool how you’re not a typical WAG or anything. My name’s Sierra, I’m a junior at St. John’s. I’m applying for law school next year. It’s just, like, awesome to see a woman being successful in her own right apart from her partner, especially when they’re in such a visible position and it’s not what’s expected of them. I’m sorry — I’m rambling, aren’t I?” 

Cass laughed, a genuine one this time. “No, you’re totally good. Don’t worry. That’s really sweet of you to say, thanks a lot!” She sipped the Southside the bartender had just handed her, sliding Mat’s beer over. “Yeah, I have so much respect for the other women who choose to do more philanthropic work or be stay-at-home moms, but that’s not what I feel pulled to. Right now, at least.” 

“Right, totally,” Julia said, grabbing what looked like a rum and coke from the other bartender. “Anyways, I should let you get back to the celebration. Tell the team congratulations, it was a great game to watch!” 

Cass picked up the other glass, nodding. “I will. Thank you for your kind words, that was sweet of you to say.”

“Anytime!” Julia chirped happily. 

Cass walked carefully back over to the group, keeping an eye on the drinks. She handed Mat’s beer to him. He looked up curiously, taking a sip. “Something hold you up at the bar?”

She shook her head, then nodded, then shook it again. “Kind of? I think I just had my first fan encounter.”

He laughed, leaning over to plant a kiss on her cheek. “Comes with the territory, babe.”

---

The game was scoreless through the second period, which didn’t help the tension in the stadium or Cass’ blood pressure. She and Paige had decided to get actual seats for the game, which Mat and Tito were more than happy to arrange. The Islanders were doing well through the first half of the third period, other than a little bit of messy passing the lines were good. But good wasn’t good enough sometimes, good wasn’t close enough to score and give them the lead. Cass’ heart sank as soon as one of the defensemen, she wasn’t sure who, made a turnover in the neutral zone to give the Lightning the puck. Kucherov picked it off, skating past the defenders and around the goal while the rest of the line nearly tripped over themselves trying to skate back in time. 

She was on the edge of her seat as he wrapped around the goal, silently praying that Varlamov would somehow be able to get a piece of the puck with his blocker or that it would have one of those one-in-a-million deflections off of the post. You could hear a pin drop in the stadium as everyone waited for the shot; tall of the sudden, time seemed to move like molasses. And then the puck went in, the red light went on, and the scattered sections of blue-and-white clad Lightning fans threw their arms up in celebration. 

Cass allowed herself exactly ten seconds to hold her head in her hands. There was still seven minutes, thirty nine seconds left. There was still time. Then there was five minutes, forty-two seconds left, and Maroon got two minutes for tripping, and that was their chance. That was supposed to be their chance. But then the penalty came and went, and it was three minutes left. Two minutes left. They pulled Varlamov at one minutes fifty-eight seconds left, and then it was the last shift. Forty-nine seconds left, and it was time for a Hail Mary. Out of habit, Cass’s lips began moving in the prayer. Hail Mary, full of grace...It was a holdover from her lacrosse days, when they were down in the last quarter with seemingly no hope in sight. It didn’t always work, but it sometimes did. It didn’t work that night. It didn’t work because the clock ticked down to zero, the score was still 2-1, and the Islanders had lost. They were out of the playoffs. Fans began shuffling out of the rink, shoulders slumped and heads down, as Cass bit her lip and tried not to cry. The team had worked so hard for this. God, they had worked so hard. And if she was taking it this badly, if it was affecting her this much, then she couldn’t even begin to imagine what it was like for the guys on the team. 

Paige turned to her after a few minutes, when there were only a handful of people still left in their seats and the Zambonis had come out to resurface the ice one last time. “We should probably get down there, do you think?” She asked softly. Cass nodded. She was referring to the tunnel, outside the locker room where everyone usually got to greet their partners with kisses and hugs and words of congratulations, but where the mood would be profoundly different on that night. Cass grabbed her bag and straightened out her jersey, squeezing Paige’s hand. Neither of them really knew what the environment was going to be like after such a devastating knockout; Paige had started dating Anthony the summer before, and Cass obviously had even less experience. They had dealt with losses, they had dealt with disappointments and losing streaks and points droughts, but this was something new entirely.

They rode the elevator in silence before walking down the corridors to the room, where the rest of the WAGs and other family had congregated. Kerry rubbed her shoulder sympathetically as Lauren walked over. “We in the Islanders family have a lot of experience with getting knocked out of the playoffs,” she said with a weak smile, trying to crack a joke, “so here is how it usually goes. The guys should be coming out in a few, it takes longer than usual because the media typically has some end-of-the-season wrapup questions and Trotz and Anders will probably make speeches or say something. Some others might too.” The two women nodded. “Don’t treat it like just another loss, but it’s also no good to hover too much. It’s obviously a real disappointment, so it usually takes a week or so before most of them bounce back to being their normal selves. They know what coping mechanisms work best for them. Most will hit the gym more, read or cook if they’re into that, something to get their mind off of it. Obviously they’re still players and still want to know how they can get better, so they might want to go over tapes of the games and make notes of where they went wrong. That’s fine, but don’t let them beat themselves up about it too much. This was a hard series, and Mat especially,” she gestured towards Cass, “tends to be more than a little bit of a perfectionist.”

“I’ve noticed,” Cass said. 

“One last thing,” she continued. “Let them process, let them cope, but a loss not an excuse for them to treat you any worse, any less kindly. Be understanding, of course. But don’t take any crap from them, regardless of the circumstance.”

“Thank you,” Paige said gratefully. Cass echoed her sentiment. The next ten minutes were filled with checking emails and making half-hearted conversation before the team started to trail out of the room. Embracing their partners and families, most couples exchanged no more than a few words before turning down the hall that led to the players’ parking lot. Paige left with a squeeze to her shoulder and a promise to get coffee the next week before grabbing Tito’s hand and guiding him towards the cars. 

Unsurprisingly, Mat followed right behind. He hadn’t combed his hair after his shower, the top button of his dress shirt was undone and only haphazardly tucked into his pants. Mat had been on the shift when Kucherov scored, and if there was anything she knew about her boyfriend, it was that he’d take it personally. He dropped his bag on the ground as she embraced him, and the thud against the concrete floor felt as if it could echo all the way across the Long Island Sound. 

“I’m so proud of you, Mat. So, so proud. I know this didn’t end how you wanted it to, but you worked so fucking hard to get here, and that’s what I see. That’s all I see,” she whispered. 

Mat wasn’t crying, but his breathing was labored nonetheless. “I just feel...I feel like I let everyone down. I wasn’t supposed to be that far up on the ice, and if I hadn’t, maybe I would have gotten back in time to steal the puck, or check him or something, or…” He trailed off. 

Cass sighed. “I know, chou, I know how you feel. But just try to remember that this is a team sport. You win with the boys, you lose with the boys. Do you get mad at Tito when he makes a bad play? Or Jordan, or Anders?” Mat shook his head. “It’s the same way with you. They don’t stop being proud of you or think you’re any less of an incredible player because you made a bad decision. Bad decisions get made all the time, and it doesn’t have to reflect on the person who made them. It’s a hard game, love, but you did your best and that’s all anyone ever has a right to ask of you.” 

Mat’s thumb rubbed against the small of her back. “I know I’ll be fine, eventually. I mean, we’ve all dealt with this before. It just seems different this time, because we were so close to actually making the finals. It seems kind of silly to say since I know I’m only 23 and I know I’ve got so much time left to play, but,” he took a shaky breath, “I look at all the veterans, all the amazing players whose entire careers have gone by without ever having gotten the Cup. Lundqvist and Thornton and Marleau and all of these legends. And it sounds kind of selfish and naive, but I don’t want to be one of them.” 

They stood like that for a few more minutes, just holding each other, before either spoke again. “Do you want me to stay with you tonight?” Cass murmured to Mat as she carded her hands through his hair. She felt a tiny, almost imperceptible nod against her shoulder. Her bag had her laptop, books, and chargers. She had a whole drawer in Mat’s room by then, a combination of stray shirts that were his-turned-hers, a few pairs of leggings — they took up an entire drawer of their own back at her apartment — and balled-up socks from her one unsuccessful attempt at doing the laundry in his building. She had a spare box of tampons in his bathroom, her floral shampoo next to his 2-in-1 Old Spice. No matter how hard she pushed, Mat remained oblivious to the benefits of having separate shampoo and conditioner. 

He pulled away, reaching into his pocket and handing over his keys. “Do you mind driving?”

She shook her head. “Not at all. Whatever you need.”

The ride back home was about forty minutes, and it was almost halfway through before either of them spoke, the lull of the 80s rock channel filling in the silence. “Where’s your head at, Mat?” She asked carefully. 

He was looking out the window, distracted. “Hm?”

She repeated the question and he tensed slightly, leaning back into the passenger seat. “Just feeling kind of...confused about the whole thing. Seems like I’m being pulled in a thousand different directions one day, but then all of the sudden something like this happens and I’ve got nothing. It’s overwhelming. I know I have a life outside of hockey, I know it’s not all of who I am, but sometimes it seems hard to believe that when it seems like that’s all I’m recognized for.” Keeping one hand on the wheel, Cass reached over to cover his hand with her own. His fingers held onto hers like a lifeline. 

“You’re right, you know?” She said as they passed into the Queens-Midtown tunnel. 

“About?”

“Being so much more than people perceive you to be. I get that, it’s like that for me too sometimes. And Mat, you are so much more than ‘just a hockey player.’ You’re a good son and an amazing brother to Liana, and an awesome friend to Tito and the guys on the team and everyone back home. And,” she added, cracking a smile, “you’re a pretty good boyfriend too.”

The corner of his mouth twitched. “Just pretty good?”

“I didn’t want to fluff your ego too much,” Cass said. “But seriously, Mat. You’re incredible entirely on your own merit. You care so deeply for the people in your life and you love so hard, and it’s an honor and a privilege to be able to witness that firsthand.” 

Mat bent down to the center console, brushing a kiss over her hand. “How do you do it?”

Now it was her turn to question. “Do what?”

“Always know the right thing to say.”

“I don’t,” Cass admitted. “And sometimes I get it wrong. But I know I love you, and I don’t want to see you hurting if there’s anything I can do about it.” The car exited the tunnel into the dotted lights of a Manhattan evening. 

“Well,” he cleared his throat, “if there was an Oscar for pep talks, I’d have to give it to you, hands down. No offense to any of the guys on the team.”

She laughed, stopping at the light. Right on red wasn’t legal in New York City, a rule she found out the hard way two months after moving. “I’m glad it helps.”

“It does,” Mat said softly. “It means the world to me that you care enough to do it. You mean the world to me.”

Her cheeks heated. “You sure know how to flatter a girl, eh, Barzal?”

“I meant every word.”

---

May 20 (thurs)

 She was done. After three years, six semesters, dozens of classes, and hundreds of hours studying, Cass had just finished her last final of law school. Her classmates stumbled out of the lecture hall, not entirely believing that all of their tears and heartache and hard work had come to a head in such an anticlimactic fashion. Turning on her heel, she walked south. It was just before seven, and her friends had a group reservation at some ridiculously extravagant French wine bar. It was Les’ idea, who had a penchant for all things expensive and who had made the reservation months prior because “you never know, John Mayer could book the whole place up and as much as I love dollar slices, we don’t want that to be our only option for what’s supposed to be a very prestigious celebratory dinner.” Les, Fiona, and Samaira were coming, along with Daniel, another editor on the law review, and Robin, one of Cass’ friends from first-year criminal law and the president of the Women’s Law Association. She had initially been wary about inviting Mat; it wasn’t that she didn’t think he’d get along with her law school friends, but she didn’t want him to feel out of the loop. After Les had announced that he was bringing his boyfriend, Xavier, Cass had extended the invite to Mat as well. 

It was only a ten minute walk, and the hostess directed Cass to their table, where she realized that she was the last one to arrive. “Don’t worry,” Robin said, “we’ve just been interrogating your man.” 

Cass scooted in next to Mat, kissing him quickly before rolling her eyes. “I hope you haven’t been too hard on him.”

Mat smiled. “Nah, they’ve been good. But being questioned by six lawyers who all seem very adamant that I don’t deserve you —”

“You don’t,” Samaira cut in, though it was clear she was joking. 

“Was more than a little intimidating,” Mat finished, handing Cass the menu. 

“Order whatever you want, I’m paying,” Daniel said as he flicked through the wine menu. “Well, technically, my parents are.” Daniel came from money; his mom was a partner at a firm in Chicago and his dad was a law professor at the University of Chicago. “If they’re going to insist on sending me to law school and sheltering me my whole life, the least I could do is take advantage of their generosity,” Daniel said, plunking his credit card onto the table. Fifteen minutes later, the group was sharing plates of escargots, crab tartine, and roasted cauliflower; twenty minutes after that, entrées were served. Mat had recognized the waitress’ accent and was chatting to her in French in between plates. Cass sipped on her wine, a pinot noir, and took a moment to look around the room, a moment to relax. Two more days, and she graduated. Everything that she had worked so hard for was finally coming to fruition. She still had to pass the bar in July, sure, but for one night — for a few days, really — she was going to let herself finally rest in the ability of her accomplishments. 

Dessert was maple bourbon crème brûlée with Sauternes, and Mat may have had a little too much fun breaking the caramelized sugar. Cass was full of good food and conversation; after everyone was done it was after nine. Les, Daniel, and Xavier had decided to get drinks, but Robin had barely slept at all that week, Samaira was going to watch a movie at her boyfriend’s, and Cass and Mat had to wake up early to get her grandparents from the airport. Mat took her hand as they walked towards the subway station. He had parked a few blocks away and offered to drive Cass back to her apartment, but she didn’t want him to go out of his way and all things considered, taking the subway at night had become something of a routine for her. 

They walked down Manhattan Avenue, resting in the kind of comfortable silence that only came with being with someone who really gets you. Cass had decided not to take the Hong Kong job the week prior. It was just too much distance from her family and Mat, and while the job seemed interesting enough, it wasn’t the kind of position she thought she could really be happy in long-term. “Have you figured out what you’re doing yet?” Mat asked as they turned the corner. “I’d say you should just move in with me and become a full-time housewife, but something’s telling me that’s not exactly the kind of opportunity you’re searching for.”

 Cass laughed, bumping him with her shoulder. “Tempting offer, the housewife thing, but I think I’m going to have to pass. Plus that would necessitate you wifing me up.” 

Mat kissed her head. “All in due time, pretty girl.” “But anyways, about the job search.” Cass said, a smile playing on her lips. “I was going to wait until graduation to surprise you, but since you asked…” She paused for dramatic effect. “Chris offered me a job. Permanently.” 

Mat stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. “Chris? Like Islanders Chris? Lawyer Chris?” 

She giggled. “Yes. Islanders lawyer Chris. You’re looking at the new Associate Counsel for the New York Islanders, Mat.” Mat damn near hollered in celebration, picking Cass up and spinning her around before pulling her into what was very possibly one of the best kisses of her life. Cass barely took notice of the tourists watching them from the side or her own public display of affection. It was New York City. They had seen weirder. 

It felt like a weight had been lifted off of Mat’s chest. He was being honest when he said that he wouldn’t have done anything to get Cass to stay, it just wasn’t his place. But he also would have been lying if he had said it would be anything but heartbreaking to see her leave. It was like he told Tito. Not even giving the future a chance to work itself out would be worse than a breakup. And with any luck, they’d never have one of those either. They rounded the last corner, steps down to the subway in sight, when Mat remembered what he had wanted to ask her but had been interrupted by her news. Her incredible, perfect news. “What would you think about spending some time in Canada this summer?”

Cass, seemingly oblivious, answered, “Oh? Like as a vacation?”

He shook his head. “No, like in Coquitlam with my family.”

“You want me to spend the summer with you and your family?” Cass asked, eyes wide.

“Yeah, only if you want to, of course. And I’m not sure when the job with the team starts, or…” He looked down.

Cass smiled. “I’d love to, but are you sure it isn’t too much? I don’t want to feel like I’m intruding on family time, I know you don’t get a lot of time with them since you’re here most of the year. I don’t want you to feel like you’re obligated to bring me around just because we’re together.”

They stopped by a lamp. Cass leaned up against the post. “Cass. My parents have made it very clear to me that you’re family, and that they’ll have my head if I’m ever dumb enough to let you go.” She snickered. “Just so we’re clear, I don’t intend on ever letting that happen. My family loves you, my sister thinks you’re way cooler than me.” 

“She’s got good taste,” Cass said, tilting her head.  

Mat laughed. “She does. She told me you guys were texting the other day about the guy she’s interested in, giving her advice. Sure, it was my idea to invite you, but they were so on board from the moment I mentioned it. Plus, my friends back home are getting annoyed with me because they haven’t met you yet with how often I talk about you.” 

She bit her lip. “How long were you thinking of staying?”

Mat shrugged. “Leave in a couple weeks, I usually stay two months or so, so until sometime in August?”

“I’d have to fly back to take the bar in July, and I’d still need some time to study while we’re over, but my contract doesn’t start until the end of August, so…”

“You’ll come?” Mat smiled hopefully.

She nodded. “I’ll come. I’ve never been to Canada before, did you know that?”

He shook his head, leaning in and brushing a kiss on her hairline. “You’re going to love it.”

[mrsdr-ethan-ramsey]

Used to It (Ethan Ramsey x f!MC)

More angst, oof. I’ve been listening to Ashe of repeat the last few weeks, and I love this song. So now we get some angst with our favorite doctor duo. For me personally, it’s so hard to learn to live with a new person and Ethan really strikes me as someone who likes control over his space. That’s gotta lead to some fights, right? I hope y’all enjoy! Also, Thank you so much for all the love and support! It means the absolute world to me! Y’all are so sweet and nice! Thank you for all your kind words, likes, and reblogs. You are all the best! 💕💕💕

Tag List: @the-soot-sprite @ethandaddyramsey @silverlitskies @trappedinfandoms @samihatuli @marywitchjane @awalker965 @openheart12 @flyawayboo @hatescapsicum @edith049 @princess-geek @akacalliope @dr-nancy-house @hipstercoffeeshop @sherlockedmcu @virtualrain202

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x f!MC (Parker Kennedy)

Summary: Ethan and Parker just moved in together and their relationship has some growing pains with it.

Warnings: Angst, fighting, maybe a swear word or two? 

Word Count: ~1730

Song Inspiration: “Used to It (Stripped)” by Ashe

Ethan walked through the apartment door after an extremely stressful day. Parker had the day off, meanwhile he had a person emergency lifted from Mass Kenmore to try and figure out why he kept coding. On top of it, he had to tell two different families that they were terminal. He had done this before, but it didn’t make it any less hard. So as he walked in to find the dishes still piled up in the sink and Parker still in her pajamas it irked him just a bit.

“I’m home,” he mumbled as he took off his shoes and set his keys in the dish by the door.

Parker looked over at him and grinned, “How was your day?”

“Not great. Have you had dinner?”

“Yeah, I just had some cereal,” she replied, moving to kneel on the couch so she could watch Ethan move around the kitchen.

“Of course.”

This made Parker narrow her eyes at him. She and Ethan have had plenty of fights before and she could sense one building up. It always started with short comments being mumbled so she would have to ask him what he said. This would lead to the explosion of words and anger. It had been worse lately it seemed. She just moved into his apartment now that everyone at the hospital knew they were dating. The growing pains of learning how to live with someone, especially for Ethan, were taking a toll.

It started with the fact that Parker would try on different clothes before settling on something, leading to her clothes laying on the floor of their closet. Parker started noticing that Ethan had a place for everything, so her stuff was scattered in random spots as not to disturb his order. She ate at random times, while Ethan preferred meals around normal hours. All the things were little by themselves, but adding them together put both Ethan and Parker under pressure. They were going to explode at some point, they just didn’t know when. Well, until Ethan came home pissy and Parker wasn’t going to take it tonight.

“If you have a problem Ethan, say it to my face.”

10…9…8…

Parker went for the throat and Ethan wasn’t going to take it either. With a straight face he turned to her and replied, “You didn’t have time to do the dishes today?”

7…6…5…

“No, I was catching up on some cases and reading the journals that you said you wanted me to read, laundry, and actually enjoying my one day off.”

4…3…2…

“One more question, when are you going to grow up Parker?”

1.

Ethan knew he went too far. She was already self-conscious about their age difference from all the whispers at the hospital and now he pointed it out. Low blow Ramsey, he said in his head, low fucking blow.

Parker’s jaw clenched. If he was going to play this way, she would too. So, despite the little voice in her head telling her no, Parker shot back with, “Sorry Ethan. I didn’t want to disrupt the museum you call a home.”

“Like doing the dishes would disrupt anything!” Ethan was exasperated now. As an only child, arguing back and forth was new to him. Parker had years of experience with her siblings, so she could take a few hits as well as deliver her own while also not going too far.

“Well if I put them away, I’m sure I would have put them in the wrong spot! That’s all you ever go on about when I tried to do them in the past.”

Ethan’s face grew red as his voice grew with each word. “The kitchen is laid out so dishes are by where you use them. It’s not that hard Parker!”

“Okay, fine. It all makes sense now that you’ve said that for the 10th time. Thank you so much Mr. Smarty Pants,” she shouted, voice dripping with sarcasm.

Both Ethan and Parker knew they should shut up, but the fighting was about more than just the stack of dishes in the sink. It was the stress from inside their shared apartment but also the outside worries of finally publically dating. Neither could stop though, not until the final blow was made…and for this fight it was Ethan’s.

“Harper figured it out, you should be able to.”

Wasted.

Parker’s jaw dropped. Time stood still. He sucker punched her and she had no fight left in her. He regretted the sentence as soon as it left his lips, but he really didn’t want to eat his words right after he said them. So all Parker did was get up, go to the sink and start filling it was warm water and soap. Maybe Ethan had the last word, but she would make him regret it. They moved quietly around each other; Parker doing the dishes and Ethan making himself dinner. Once she was done, she left the kitchen without saying anything.

Ethan spent that night on the couch while Jenner took his spot in bed.

****

The next morning, the silence continued. It was deafening. The two tiptoed around each other; unsure of what to say. Pride and anger keeping the other from talking first, so they pretended like the other person wasn’t there. It was hard since they both had a diagnostic case to attend to right away. They held a truce when talking about the patient, but the walls went up as soon as it was solved and the patient was treated. Parker spent the rest of her day in the free clinic while Ethan holed himself in his office.  

The commute home was just as quiet. Parker spent it trying to figure out how they managed to get to this point. How had their love fallen so low that they were taking cheap shots as the other, refusing to talk except for work, and barely making eye contact? She wanted to go back to how they were before they were publically dating. They each had their own space to go to when they needed it and she felt wanted and loved. They were so good together when no one knew. There was a thrill to not being caught…and now? Everyone knew. He could kiss her in the hallway. That’s all she ever wanted until the side effects of publically dating kicked in. Everyone had an opinion.

“She’s way too young for him. She’s obviously a gold digger.”

“I liked him better when he dated Harper.”

“She’s so nice and he’s so callous. How are they even together?”

“I think it’s gross that he would take advantage of a second year resident.”

The only two voices that seemed lost in the relationship were the two that actually mattered; Parker’s and Ethan’s.

The quiet stretched through making dinner, eating, and getting ready for bed. Parker left the living room where the two had been reading. She figured Ethan would stay out there again since their silence had stretched the entire day. Standing in the closet, she reached for her pajamas but something caught her eye as she was about to leave in her usual long shirt and panties. There, folded nicely on top of Ethan’s laundry around her mess of clothes, was his sweater. Fuck she had loved that sweater her intern year. He seemed to always wear it outside of the hospital. It was familiar and reminded her of good times, before all the fighting. Parker grabbed it, slipping it on then crawling into the bed alone.

****

Around 2 am, Ethan couldn’t spend any more hours flipping around the couch. He was pretty sure Jenner was sending glares his way with how much noise he was causing. He wanted nothing more than to be in his own bed, holding his girlfriend, and to take back everything he said. So that’s what he was going to do.

Ethan got off the couch and walked the familiar path to the bedroom. He gently opened the door and looked in. His heart broke at what he saw. Parker had fallen asleep with a lamp on, wrapped in his sweater. She looked small curled up in a ball on his side of the bed. As he walked into the room and sat down on the bed next to her, he could see that she had been crying. Saying the words hurt, but seeing their direct effect on the woman he loved made him realize how bad he actually felt.

“Parker, my love,” he whispered softly.

She stirred at his voice, pulling her out of her light dreamless sleep. Her eyes cracked open, drowsily taking in Ethan’s bare chest and pajama clad legs sitting next to her. She rubbed her eyes, making sure that he was actually here or if she had finally gone nuts.

“Ethan?” he hoarse voice asked.

“I’m sorry Parker for all the shit I said. If I could take it back so it never happened, I would. We both know I can’t though, so the best I can do it tell you how sorry I am.” His eyes were downcast, unable to look at his favorite person in the world.

Parker pushed her body up, wrapping her arms around herself. “I’m sorry too…this is new for both of us Ethan. We’re going to stumble along the way, but that last comment was low.”

He nodded, “I know, that was uncalled for.”

As Parker woke up a little more, she looked at the hunched over frame of Ethan Ramsey. He usually carried himself with such pride, but as he admitted that he was wrong he looked actually sorry. Their growing pains were at their worst, but she had no doubt they’d figure out how to get this right. She wanted to be with him more than anything. They would get through this.

They sat quietly for a bit, until Ethan finally said, “I’ll make room for your things around the apartment.”

Parker looked over at him, a small smile on her face. “I’ll start picking up my clothes.”

Ethan reached for Parker’s hand and she willingly gave it. His hands were larger than hers, rough from years of the cold Boston winters. He brought her hand to his lips, kissing the back of it gently.

“I’m all in. I’ll always love you Parker,” he whispered softly against her hand.

“After everything we’ve been through, I’ll always love you Ethan.”