#jonathan toews fic

[moonyheartbot]

jonny travels dimensions

The first place Jonny goes to is close to home - well, his home, anyway.

His house, and everything in it, look the same; so much so that he doesn’t even notice anything is off until he walks downstairs and finds a small child sitting at the breakfast table. 

He’s halfway to the pantry before the morning fog clouding his mind dissipates long enough for him to whip his head hard enough for it to hurt and blurt out a few select choice words, forgetting to censor himself. It’s his house! He can cuss around an intruder, no matter how old they are.

The little fair-haired kid blinks at him and then his face starts to crumble, just a little. 

Jonny doesn’t do kids - let alone kids he doesn’t know. He starts looking around the kitchen as the child quietly cries at the table, hoping he can find some clue as to let him know he’s dreaming. He even counts his fingers, and leans heavily on the pantry door while his mind spins.

“Hey, what’s going on? Are you just going to let him cry?” He hears a voice behind him, half-teasing and so, so familiar. “Jon? Are you okay?” 

He turns around, half-expecting for everything to shatter in the millisecond it takes for his eyes to connect with Patrick’s, but nothing; it’s him, aged up a little and holding the kid in his arms, now slightly consoled. 

“Am I… Did I get high last night?”

Patrick steps closer, and like this Jonny can see the evidence of age even more clearly; the deep crows feet and that little line between his eyebrows where he furrows his forehead constantly in concentration. He doesn’t even hear the light slapping of another pair of feet on the ground before two clammy arms wrap themselves around his leg. 

A dark-blonde girl with the second bluest eyes Jonny has ever seen stares up at him and grins, toothlessly.

He registers Patrick talking to him, but it’s just background noise below the piercing ringing in his ears, and he only feels a slight twinge of pain as he hits the ground before passing out. 

When he wakes up, it’s night time. He stares up at the ceiling, blinks hard, and turns over to cough. His hand comes away wet, palm sticky with blood and saliva, and he takes himself to the bathroom to wash his mouth out and stare at himself in the mirror.

He’s himself. He knows this much; his face is his, and this house is his, and he can’t hear anything. He can feel the memory of the dream fading away as he stands before his reflection, and when he returns to his bed with the right side rucked up and his socks on the ground, the pillow his scent of cologne and the blackout curtains drawn, the memory’s fully gone.

I love writing Jonny losing his mind. This story is going to be huge, if I can finish it. <3

[cgsf]

Men's Hockey (RPF) fanfiction recs:

Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews [Part 2]

"I'm beyond your peripheral vision (so you might want to turn your head)" 🔒 (E) by anonymous | 3,418 | It takes the combination of prospect camp, training camp, and their first week on the road together for Johnny to realize Patrick is his soulmate. The first person he calls is Dan.

"red lips, so kissable" 🔒 (E) by anonymous | 3,569 | When Pat had finally come to him with this after six months of dating without things imploding, he'd been hesitant. "I just.... I think about making myself pretty sometimes," he had said, blushing. "Like a girl."

"crash into me" (E) by fadeastride | 3,403 | And that’s not some chick. That’s fucking Pat.

"Make The Moves Up As I Go" 🔒 (E) by agirlnamedfia | 30,354 | Patrick has his first Econ 202 class on the second day of the spring semester. It doesn’t exactly go well.

"Sommeil" (M) by MJBadger | 1,622 | Jonny being weird about public bathrooms and lots of sleepiness.

"let it all unfurl" 🔒 (M) by poeelektra | 2,545 | "Brooklyn is not Bumfuck, Tazer. And, you know, irony noted, seeing as you're from Winnipeg." "Whatever," Jon says darkly, punching fists into his jacket pockets like there’s some satisfaction to be had in stressing the seams of their linings. He doesn't care where Brooklyn is—if it belongs to this city, he's already made up his mind about it. "You're paying for the cab ride. There and back." Sharpy just laughs like Jon has told a good joke. "Sure thing, Tazer."

"and it's over, and i'm goin' under" (E) by mockturtletale | 15,011 | And that’s the story of how Kaner finds himself slumping down to the floor against his best friend’s front door, shaking a little and half covered in goosebumps. Sporting a semi and fighting the urge to cry.

"kiss and tell" 🔒 (T) by sloom | 2,169 | “Trust me,” Sharpy says, “this will be good for you.” And then, he shoves Jonny into what appears to be a mostly empty coat closet and slams the door shut behind him. “What the fuck, Sharp!” Jonny calls, pounding at the door which is, of course, locked. “Enjoy your seven minutes in heaven, Tazer,” Sharpy singsongs. Then, the bare bulb mounted on the ceiling flares to life, illuminating one Patrick Kane. Fuck.

"i don't play hard to get (i play to get you hard)" 🔒 (E) by sloom | 4,666 | Jonny starts out in twink porn - of course he does, he’s nineteen, all big dark eyes and delicate features. He never planned on being a porn star, it just sort of happened. He got injured and lost his hockey scholarship and, well, everyone has their story about how they got into porn. Jonny needed the money. Simple as that.

"left standing in the wilderness downtown" 🔒 (M) by poeelektra | 4,051 | They’re friends, though that’s always felt like a watered-down word for what they are, teammates and halves of a whole and things that are too big for language. Jonny’s his person, is all.

"anxious like the ocean in a storm" 🔒 (M) by poeelektra | 4,169 | “Did you know Savvy and Larmer combined for 220 pts in ’87-’88? Last week I watched them pummel the North Stars, a 6-point night for Savvy, with a hat trick.” He leaves off how his eyes were glued to the screen watching the two of them, because Jonny has no poetry in his soul. It just made Patrick wonder—about their futures, if what everyone’s saying is true, what it’ll be like to go all the way like he thinks him and Jonny can do—and the wondering gave him goosebumps.

"Okay, So Now You're a Vegetarian" 🔒 (M) by anonymous | 33,854 | Patrick Kane secretly decides to go vegetarian. Jonathan Toews draws the wrong conclusions.

"Good Times Never Seemed So Good" (E) by juliusschmidt | 21,171 | Johnny is a miserable bastard. Kaner is a needy fuck. They are meant for each other and also for summer on Mackinac Island, fratbro paradise.

"Media Vita In Morte Sumus" 🔒 (T) by jezziejay | 2,556 | Life is standing on the observation deck of the surgical theatre when Death finds him. “Nobody called for the grim reaper,” Jon says without turning around. There’s a soft snicker from behind him. “I’m omnipresent, I don’t need to be called.”

"I Could Dream of Ways to See You, I Could Close My Eyes to Dream" (M) by Frosting50 | 2,686 | Jonny’s head falls back against the metal stall divider with a resounding thud. He keeps making these small punched out grunts, even as he bites his lips in an effort to keep quiet. He has zero desire to get caught by some homophobic Jets fan while he’s getting his dick sucked in the men’s room at the MTS Centre, but -- Jesus Christ -- this kid has a mouth on him.

"Go, Johnny, Go" (E) by juliusschmidt | 4,387 | Jonny gives Kaner a ticket. To the courthouse. Kaner gives Jonny a ticket. To the love shack hockey game.

"don't look up, down, or to the side" 🔒 (M) by hazel | 8,282 | His mom had told him not to fall in love with houses; so had his dad, made some crack about them being worse than women, son, while his mom fake-punched him in the arm and then added, "and like people, it's what's underneath that matters, Johnny." But this is the first house he's looked at that he's liked, though he doesn't know why: it's got narrow, pointy windows with stone pieces on the tops like eyebrows, and it sits between its larger, tidier, neighbours like a poor cousin. Johnny thinks it maybe just needs someone to love it; and then he thinks: fuck.

"Let It Be" (E) by juliusschmidt | 60,127 | There’s one person who knows more about Pat than Brisson, one person who’s closer to discovering Pat’s secrets than his mom, one person who always, always, calls bullshit on him: Jonathan Fucking Toews. And following the launch of the Sun-Times article, which runs with the unfortunate headline “Patrick Kane Admits He’s Not God,” Jonny does not disappoint.

"Power Balance" (E) by thisissirius | 13,476 | The body of the email just says, “don’t fuck seguin” because Jonny doesn’t know what capital letters are and he’s a controlling asshole even when he’s miles away, and attached to it is a spreadsheet that Patrick reluctantly opens. It’s color-coded with tabs and he’s not sure whether he wants to punch Jonny in the mouth or laugh in his face. Calling him in the middle of the airport is a really bad fucking idea and Patrick knows something about those, so he settles for sending Jonny a message. YOU SENT ME A JERK-OFF SCHEDULE FOR SWITZERLAND?!

"break me in" (E) by thundersquall | 5,386 | Today Patrick comes into the locker room, shrugs off his coat, and underneath he's wearing a fucking tight tee that clings to every dip and curve of his musculature. It looks fucking painted on, and the sight of it slams Jonathan like a puck to his face, stunning and somehow primal and just bordering on the edge of obscene, how good Patrick looks in that.

"the high road is hard to find" (M) by anonymous | 11,304 | Patrick guesses this is his “third strike, you’re out” in the Jonathan Toews friendship book and he doesn’t know how to remedy that. He doesn't think he deserves the chance, to be honest.

"you look so perfect" 🔒 (E) by tarcanza | 4,270 | His eyes land on Jonny, and his rage chokes in his throat. Dries right up and flips on a dime like a fucking chemical reaction. Jonny’s lying on his stomach in the middle of his bed, reading a book. He’s in nothing but those stupid, tiny black boxer-briefs, stretched tight over the swell of his ass. One side’s jacked, fabric pushed up so that his cheek’s just hanging out all casual, fucking taunting Patrick.

"easy does it" (E) by robokittens | 2,137 | Jonny tips his head forward, rests it against Patrick's shoulder. "You got this, baby," he whispers. "You can take this; you were made for it. Made for me." It doesn't even feel like dirty talk, just like the truth.

"The Scars That Words Have Carved" 🔒 (E) by Linsky | 15,694 | “Forgive me for asking, Peeks,” Sharpy says, slowly. “But did you just kiss our illustrious captain, here?” “Um.” Patrick’s not sure what this captain business is about, but: “Yes?” Jonny’s still staring at him like he’s grown four or five extra heads, and, okay. Patrick definitely read this wrong.

"Wide Eyes" (E) by Tedda | 44,832 | When he starts hooking up with Patrick, Jonny slowly begins to realize a few things about himself.

"a hot summer night" (E) by Tedda | 5,267 | Patrick arrives in Arizona on a hot summer night. He hasn't talked to Jonny in five years, and it would have felt weird to do it over the phone for the first time.

"Dress Well, Test Well" 🔒 (M) by Kerfluffle | 9,649 | A liberal arts college AU.

"Streets of Chicago" 🔒 (E) by TheNorthRemembers | 79,749 | Patrick is 29 years old when he finds out he is HIV positive. Patrick is 29 years old when he realizes that despite giving up everything for hockey, he still might lose it over one stupid mistake, one careless, reckless night.

"a hot summer night" (E) by Tedda | 5,267 | Patrick arrives in Arizona on a hot summer night. He hasn't talked to Jonny in five years, and it would have felt weird to do it over the phone for the first time.

"blue eyes, velvet lips" (E) by Tedda | 10,356 | Prince Jonathan finds a runaway slave. Clearly, the only solution is taking the boy home.

"Wide Eyes" (E) by Tedda | 44,832 | When he starts hooking up with Patrick, Jonny slowly begins to realize a few things about himself.

"The Scars That Words Have Carved" 🔒 (E) by Linsky | 15,694 | “Forgive me for asking, Peeks,” Sharpy says, slowly. “But did you just kiss our illustrious captain, here?” “Um.” Patrick’s not sure what this captain business is about, but: “Yes?” Jonny’s still staring at him like he’s grown four or five extra heads, and, okay. Patrick definitely read this wrong.

"It Must Be Something in the Water" 🔒 (E) by allthebros | 40,228 | After five years away, living on the west coast, coming to terms with his sexuality, Patrick comes back to his coastal hometown to be with his family again and to start working at his dad's dealership, determined to get his life back on track, to leave behind all emotional messes and complications. But on the first morning of his return he meets Jonny, his sister's new boyfriend, and falls hard in lust with him, throwing an enormous wrench in his plan.

"Sleepless in Chicago" 🔒 (E) by sahiya | 4,894 | “Babe,” Jonny said, “how long has it been since you slept?” “Three nights,” Patrick said.

"Muscle Stim" 🔒 (E) by sahiya | 7,672 | The last thing Patrick needed was a stupid crush on the dude whose job it was to get him back out on the ice as quickly as possible.

"Didn't Know That Was a Thing" 🔒 (T) by AnythingThrice | 1,303 | Patrick notices it as he's searching the shelves in Jonny's bedroom for Madden 08: a weird glass sculpture, glossy black with bands of a trippy, swirling white pattern that seem to sit just under the surface. He figures it for a knickknack at first, some art piece his decorator suggested or—more likely—one of those locally-and-sustainably crafted souvenirs Jonny tends to bring back from his vacations.

"Not Something You Rub in (Just) Anyone's Face" 🔒 (E) by AnythingThrice | 6,736 | "Don’t wanna talk about it," Patrick cuts in, voice firmer now. As far as he's concerned they'd done all the necessary talking back in April. Offseason rules – offseason lives – set and followed and fucking done. World Cup over. Summer gone. Long past time to get back to the good stuff: friendly ice, Blackhawks hockey and being first star in Jonny's eyes.

"Shitshow" 🔒 (E) by AnythingThrice | 19,989 | Jonathan thought they'd outgrown this. Or no, if he's being honest with himself, he thought Pat had outgrown it while he'd merely shoved it aside, banished it to the realm of things it didn't help to dwell on.

"Fill Up Your Mouth with Something Sweet" 🔒 (E) by Linsky | 3,904 | The amazing thing, Jonny reflects after a couple of months with the Blackhawks, is how Patrick Kane manages to be such a good hockey player and yet so wrong about everything.

"the whole of him" 🔒 (E) by allthebros | 2,258 | Patrick did nothing else for this moment but live with inconvenient erections since they talked about doing it, only showing up at Jonny’s door in sweats and a t-shirt and his morning-long semi he’d made sure to trap in the kind of tight underwear that would make Jonny proud. Well fine, Patrick also did some video research. Watching review tapes is important. But Jonny--fucking Jonathan Toews--he got ready for this.

"What It Means" 🔒 (T) by allthebros | 1,312 | They’ve never been like this with each other before. He doesn’t know if it’s the sun, being away from Chicago and their lives, or just them finally being able to have this, but it catches inside Jonny’s chest. Little swoops in his stomach that surprise him every time, make it hard to breathe.

"Tell the Stars I'm Coming Home" 🔒 (E) by allthebros | 15k WIP | Jonny and Patrick have three weeks left to live. Three weeks to find their way back to each other.

"La Piscine" 🔒 (E) by allthebros | 2,484 | Pat didn’t think it was possible, but if anything, Jonathan Toews has gotten hotter since Pat saw him last summer. It’s kind of a bummer that they don’t go to the same college, but Pat appreciates the surprise. He doesn’t know what’s in the water up there in Montreal, but God Bless Canada.

"S(t)ick" 🔒 (E) by allthebros | 2,842 | “What’s gotten into you, man,” Jonny says, softly. The ‘you’ is on Patrick's lips before he can realize he’s thought it, hysterical laugh bubbling into his throat at the cheesiness of it, the disgusting idiocy, but instead he says, “it’s this heat, man, I can’t—” Think. Sleep. Fucking drink a beer like normal. Look at Jonny and see what he used to see.

"Shawty With You" 🔒 (E) by allthebros | 6,764 | 5 times Pat and Jonny needed mistletoe to kiss, and one time they didn't.

"134 Days" 🔒 (E) by allthebros | 3,406 | It's been a long winter without him.

"Nothin' But Blue Skies" 🔒 (T) by allthebros | 2,708 | Perhaps the middle of Wisconsin wasn't the right place to tell Jonny.

"Sonoran" 🔒 (T) by allthebros | 2,177 | Somewhat newly retired, Patrick makes his way to Arizona where Jonny's ostensibly getting his own shit together. It's summer in the desert, and it's been too long since they've seen each other.

"Just to Break My Own Fall" 🔒 (M) by Linsky | 9,092 | Patrick used to play a game with himself, when he was younger and considerably dumber: see how close he could get to Jonny, for how long, and not do anything to give himself away.

"trouble when you walked in" (T) by tourdefierce | 2,253 | The only thing more confusing than Twitter is Patrick Kane. Thankfully, Pat keeps Jonny busy enough that the former doesn't even matter.

"farmer au" (E) by anonymous | 13,940 | “No offense, man, but who steals a bunch of corn? It’s not really in short supply around here?” “It’s or-gan-ic,” Jonny says, pointedly drawing out each syllable. Deputy Kane clearly doesn’t fucking get it. His corn is probably full of pesticides and fertilizers.

"Loosen Up My Buttons (Babe)" (E) by tourdefierce | 4,848 | Tazer is always pushing him to be better—little psycho that he is—so it doesn't surprise Pat when he finds himself looking at a too tense, wound up Jonny and saying to himself, "Someone needs to fuck that douchebag silly". And then obviously high-fiving himself because heyoh, that's totally his job.

"High and Tight" (E) by tourdefierce | 2,609 | Jonny Toews gets a hair cut.

"the quiet between us" 🔒 (M) by tarcanza | 13,852 | There are screams. Thousands of them. Thousands of people. Claps, chants, cheers of victory. It should be loud. But it’s not. Here with his face hidden in the curve of Kaner’s neck, it’s not. There’s only Kaner. And Jonny wrapped around him, never letting go.

"(All My Life I've Been) Burdened by the Dreams" 🔒 (E) by Linsky | 30,170 | Patrick has two goals for himself when he comes to Chicago: Win the Stanley Cup. And don’t let anyone find out he’s a wolf.

••••••

This list is ongoing.

[capnseriouslycanadian]

in which jonathan toews is, and always has been, the best captain (and person) in the league, and the old marrieds are tasked with finding fun activities for the children (via x)

[taz19hagel38]

[nebulein]

In addition to training facilities and workshop rooms, Jonathan Toews' recently expanded wellness compound includes a shiny new smoothie bar. The bestseller? Kale-mango-chia. All recipes have been developed by Toews himself and published in an ebook to recreate at home. The bar looks instagram-worthy, though and is well worth a trip. The juice cleanse is worth the squeeze is written in bold letters across the back of it, the pink neon sign lighting up with a nice, juicy lemon next to it. "Oh, that thing," Toews laughs, clearly embarrassed when we ask about what it means. It's an old joke, custom-made and gifted to Toews by a client, a pun on a mantra every one of Toews' clients knows by heart: the juice is worth the squeeze. At its surface, the saying sounds like Toews plucked it from a motivational poster pinned to the locker room of a high school gym. But for Toews, it runs deeper than that.

"I don't believe in the struggle mentality, the whole 'no pain no gain' kinda thinking, or 'nothing good ever comes easy'. That's such poisonous bullshit, excuse my French." -- Did we mention Toews actually speaks perfect French, courtesy of his francophone maman? We told you that man is hot. Anyways -- "If we put out good into the world, it comes back to us, and life doesn't have to be an endless struggle to be worthwhile." But that doesn't mean Toews believes in giving up easy. Instead, for him the saying symbolizes that you should always keep sight of your goals. "If you remember what you're trying to accomplish and why you want that, doing what's necessary to get there immediately becomes easier." So if life hands Toews lemons, squeeze some lemonade? But Toews isn't as goody two shoes as that. "Yeah, maybe. Or break out the Tequila," he adds with a laugh.

And if life hands you a neon sign? Open a juice bar.

[blusical]

My Hockey Edits Compiled into One Post™

Features: Four different Panarin edits and a Kane/Toews edit where I fucking blurred the bench because I am an idiot. (DON'T REPOST WITHOUT MY PERMISSION).

[distressednoise]

WIP ask meme

I got tagged in this by sweet summer child @notasapleasure, who has not yet realised that rather than ever "finishing" "fic" I just endlessly rearrange outlines in gdocs and resent myself.

Most of the things I laughingly call WIPs are about a hockey pairing that peaked ten years ago, because I am current and cool and fun, BUT let's say these the two (brassian in the balerics, 197 cabin fic) are real and will be written haha

I am bad at tagging but if you have read any of this please consider yourself tagged! I am ALWAYS down to have a sneak peek of a WIP and do some cheerleading, and also to explain the fics I will not write at great length, so feel free to comment, ask, etc etc etc

Veo Veo (aka the Brassian Magaluf AU, because Cassian is a terrible tourist in every timeline)

So this is a scene from after we meet Cinta and Vel, who are having a far more functional holiday romance than Cassian could ever conscience, and I will probably ditch this version of it for one with different geography and fewer references to masturbating over the queen.

Rich people don’t have any fucking manners, Brasso thinks, as the noises from the bedroom pick up. Or any fucking fears. Vel and Cinta are in there having sex, in front of each and every one of Pegla’s nan’s crocheted donkeys, even the French one whose eyes follow you round the room.

“Are they having sex?” Cassian asks. “They’re having sex.” He’s skinning up, compressing the last of Vel’s weed into one of his tight, neat little joints. 

“Bit rude.”

Cassian shrugs, lights, inhales, exhales on a laugh when one of the girls swears. “At least they’re paying the tax,” he points out, taking another hit and then handing the joint over to Brasso. Cassian’s fingers are blunt and thick and bitten-nailed and have no business producing the kind of neurotically compacted, weirdly uniform joints he always rolls. They look too small for his hands. They look lost in Brasso’s, who finds himself holding the joint with slow, exaggerated carefulness and thinking maybe he’s smoked enough already.  But then there’s a high, thin noise from the other room, and perhaps he hasn’t.

He inhales and lets himself slide down to the floor, eyes closed, and tries to astral project into a universe where he regularly said things like no Cassian and that’s not my problem Cassian, rather than this one, where he has to say - 

“If you’re wanking when I open my eyes I will punch you.”

“No you won’t.”

“It’s grim, Cass.”

“They started it! If we’re all having sex - ”

“We're clearly not.”

“And whose fault is that?”

"The one who said we should talk to the lesbians, probably." Brasso doesn't let himself think about Cassian's reaction to that bit of news, the way he'd leant heavily back into their booth, somehow managed to find his way under Brasso's arm. It didn't mean anything. “You can’t rub one out behind the door like some kind of grubby -”

“I’m not anywhere near the door.” Cassian kicks at his ankle, hooks a leg over Brasso’s. He’s made it to the floor too, then. “I can’t even see it.” Shuffling, clinking. Not the sounds of a man not preparing help himself out. “All I’ve got is you and the queen.”

“As long as you come on the right one,” Brasso mutters. Things next door have really hit their stride, if the knocking is anything to go by. “This is grim.”

“Queen’s loving it.” Brasso cracks open one eye to reassure himself that the china plate with the queen’s face on it remains a safe distance away and instead sees Cassian, hand on his dick and eyes firmly on. Well. The only other person there.

the amount of work is the same (aka the endless Brent Seabrook/Jonathan Toews/Jonathan Toews' collection of chronic illnesses fic)

This would probably be the opening, if I ever actually finished anything!

The summer he was 21, Jonny spent most of his time feeling sickly and tired, drooping miserably along his friends’ lakeside properties and fidgeting his way around the decks of their newly tricked-out fishing boats, too wired to sit still and too tired to sleep, until Seabs had eventually snapped and railed him into unconsciousness during an otherwise disappointing fishing trip on Lake Comox. 

The thing with Seabs had turned out to be a bright spot in a confusingly miserable year; one during which he was handed everything he’d ever wanted and while somehow feeling the worst he’d ever felt.

It was shocking, really, how little things had changed. 

He owned the boat now, he supposed. They were on a different lake. But Seabs was still an excellent fuck and Jonny’s body was still a traitorous sack of shit, and -

He felt the sharp red sting of the slap before he even registered that Seabs had moved. 

“I’m not doing this on my own, Jonny,” Seabs said, squeezing almost painfully at Jonny’s dick. “Get your fucking head in the game.” 

So Jonny blinked his eyes open, focused on Seabs’ face, inches from his and so intent he looked furious, and let Seabs hook two fingers into his mouth and jerk his chin down so he could see between them to where Seabs’ hand was wrapped around both their cocks. 

“Wander off again and you’ll regret it,” Seabs told him, and Jonny, stuck between the promise of feeling anything and the horror of letting yet another person down, bit down on Seabs’ fingers and came. 

That still worked, at least.

[chanelfunnell]

Anon, Ashley aka x blogs and social media accounts is not just insane puckbunny boiler and a troll. Fantasist and a fraud at least. Posting a photo of her daughter baby , not just playing a fake victim as a bully spitting vile bile but calling the press but her daughter us 25 or 26. Not certainly autistic and not for a puck drop or anything by charity by Blackhawks or Penguins, all over the border

beside her ramblings about supermodel Leutner, M BLW and how they are...her filter makes her a pancake face. She writes on Twitter to the real fan who has pointed out that Tazer is moody 2020 and he needs to lift his mood by....like Ash's fan fic erotic. Ashe goes on with the answer: I volunteer...lol

[rocohen20]

Fic Rec: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Accidental Dating & Arranged Marriage

Fake/Pretend Relathionship

Leon Draisaitl/Connor McDavid

-Necessary Growing Pains, by liroa15, 17,926 words

[Available Podfic Version: [Podfic] Necessary Growing Pains, by Annapods, frecklebombfic (frecklebomb), 02:06:19 hours]

Connor lies about having a fuckbuddy to his ex-boyfriend and best friend Dylan in the hopes that he would stop nagging him. Leon volenteered to be said fuckbuddy, it leads to feeling.

I don’t tend to read about them, but I was pleasantly surprised by the story.

Quinn Hughes/Elias Petterson

-Last Christmas, by Mere_Sprite1847, 3,767 words

A cute little story about how Elias convinces Quinn to pretend being his boyfriend, after some misunderstanding from his parents' side.

Jamie Benn/Tyler Seguin

-and there's always time to change your mind, by Nuanta, 40,451 words

Jamie is getting outed when a delicate picture is getting leaked. Tyler feels resposible to what had happened to him, and decides to help Jamie with the situation.

-[Podfic] Inhabit Every Feeling, by RsCreighton, 54:28 minutes

[Original Written Work: Inhabit Every Feeling, by hkafterdark, 8,541 words]

When Tyler visit Jamie in BC, Jamie finds out that Jordie told their parents that Jamie and Tyler were more than just friends, that leads to feelings.

-something good and right and real, by blamefincham and thistidalwave, 15,488 words

When Tyler is trying to get away with not bringing a plus one to a family member’s wedding, his mom comes to the wrong conclusion that he and Jamie are together. Tyler doesn’t want to break her heart, so of course he needs to bring Jamie with him to the wedding.

-take a deep breath and count back from ten (maybe you'll be alright), by cinderlily, 26,167 words

AU where They both are Buzzfid workers and they'd been selected to a "be married for a week" video.

- [Podfic] Do You Believe In Magic, by RsCreighton, 1:03:26 hours

[Original Written Work: Do You Believe in Magic?, by reallyyeahokay, 8,796 words]

After a magical accident that wrecked Jamie’s kitchen, Tyler had to lie in the investigation about the nature of his and Jamie’s relationship. Until the end of the investigation they need to fake a relationship.

Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews

-Marry Me A Little, by bessyboo and thisissirius, 154,842 words

After Patrick's latest antics Jonathan is trying to convince management not to trade him away. In pure desperation he may have lied about how he and Patrick were together for a while and wanted to marry each other.

-Tied if We Stay by Staraflur [Podfic], by Rhea314 (Rhea), 03:01:14 hours

[Original Written Work is not available anymore]

Patrick by accident tweet publicly about the fact that he and Jonny are fucking. As a result of that management forces them to pretend that what they have with each other is romantically (and not just friends with benefits).

-Every Piece of Me and You, by thundersquall, 94,646 words

Patrick and Jonathan are friends with benefits for several years now, but when Patrick is knocked up and the media found out about it they agreed to fake a relationship and marry each other to save a media circus.

-Keep You On My Arm [PODFIC], by bessyboo, 39:17 minutes

[Original Written Work: Keep You On My Arm, by rsadelle, 6,732 words]

The team started to go to gay bars. Jonathan keeps pretending to be Patrick’s boyfriend.

-[Podfic of] our song is the way you laugh, by exmanhater, 59:06 minutes

[Original Written Work: our song is the way you laugh, by orphan_account, 9,951 words]

In order to get up on Sharpy, Jonny convinces Patrick to fake a relationship with him.

-we're looking for something dumb to do, by hatrickane (dandelionwhiskey), 13,551 words

The Arrangement AU. Jonathan's visa is about to be expired so he convinces his assistant to fake a marriage with him.

-perfect match, by thundersquall, 33,811 words

Patrick needs to find a plus one to Erica's wedding. With the advice of Sharpy he goes on this app that fixes people up to fake date with. There he finds the most gorgeous, handsom guy he ever met. He is kind of fucked.

This story was stuck at the back of my marked for later list for such a long time. Only recently I decided to finally give it a chance, and oh boy was I happy that I did it.

-Those Two Together, by dragons_and_angels, 13,772 words

Trevor thought that Patrick and Jonathan were dating. They didn’t want to let down the rookie, so they went along with it.

Patrick Kane/Abby Sharp/Patrick Sharp

-A Little Sincerity, by 7iris, 7,379 words

Sharpie tells Burish in desperation that he and Abby are having a thing with Kaner. In an attempt to make Burish belive in the lie the three of them are pretending to have a relationship together. Obviously it leads to feeling.

Prior to reading the story I didn’t expect to love this story and the three of them as much I did. Plus, the reading is so effortless.

Sidney Crosby/Patrick Kane

-Waking Up And I Don't Even Know My Last Name, by BoyGirlBothNoneImTheUniverse (orphan_account), 11,490 words

Patrick and Sidney are in love in an unrequired love with their respected teammate, and they each go to Vegas to drown their sorrows. Somehow they meet there and get drunk married. Now they need to stay married.

Sidney Crosby/Claude Giroux

- i let you push all of my buttons (and you could push me off the edge all you like), by amiwastingmytime, 2,311 words

Claude incounter the rival beer-league captain of the other team. Next thing he knows Crosby is pretending that Claude is his new boyfriend infront of his ex.

-we weren't lovers like that, by whimsicalmeerkat, 13,262 words

After a fan post a picture of Claude and Sidney together, they start to fake a relationship. This leads to actually hooking up with each otger, an angry proposal and Claude slowly losing his mind.

Sidney Crosby/Marc-Andre Fleury/Veronique Fleury

-[Podfic] Where Else Would We Want To Go by Withershins, by brightnail, 39:19 minutes

[Original Written Work: Where Else Would We Want to Go, by withershins, 5,177 words]

Marc-Andre and Veronique had been fake-dating Sidney for the past three years. Each of them was fine with it, but when Kris stages an intervention about it the three of them needs to figure some stuff out. 

Sidney Crosby/Alexander Ovechkin

-[Podfic] If you want roses (I'll buy a bouquet) by Merryofsoul, by brightnail, 22:25 minutes 

[Original Written Work: If you want roses (I'll buy a bouquet), by merryofsoul, 3,457 words]

When the pens think that Sidney is dating Alex, Sidney and Alex decided to fake a relationship as a prank. 

Nicklas Backstrom/Alexander Ovechkin

-[podfic] Did you ever stop to love me, by Annapods, 02:38:01 hours

[Original Written Work: Did You Ever Stop To Love Me, by screamlet, 25,348 words]

Alex' ex outs him out, so Nicklas do the responsible thing and marry him.

I really liked Nicky in the story. He knew what he wanted and knew how to help Alex. Also I loved at the beginning the logistical stuff about citizenships and stuff.

-Holding Onto You, by somethingnerdythiswaycomes, 6,552 words

No player is excempt from the Vegas expansion, unless he is married. So in order to keep playing with each other, Nicky and Alex get married to each other.

Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin

-[podfic] The State of Marriage, read by lunchee (lunchee), 03:20:06 hours

[Original Written Work: The State of Marriage, by iBear, 28,243 words]

Evgeni gets outed during the off season in Russia, next thing he knows he fled the country back to Pittsburgh. During the process of making game plan, Sidney proposes the surprising thought out plan of marrying each other.

The relashionship of Evgeni with Russia is so interesting and heart breaking. This story is beautifally written.

Accidental Dating

Eric Stasl/Cam Ward

-No Foreign Lands, by go_gentle, 1,712 words

5+1 times that people thought that Eric and Cam are dating.

It's a short, fun story that I always have a nice time re-reading.

Carey Price/P.K. Subban

-Can I Draw You?, by LivinOnARarePair, 6,164 words

P.K. likes to draw Carey a lot, he doesn't realize it mean something.

Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews

-[Podfic of] let's make it plural, by exmanhater, 02:26:20 hours

[Original written work was deleted]

Patrick and Jonny were dating for ages, only they didn’t realize it.

-Shadows Settle on the Place (That You Left), by crankyrage, 7,246 words

Jonny somehow managed to break up with Patrick, even though they weren’t even dating. The story is about how he needs to deal with the repercussions.

-Today isn't my day to find you ( I'll be coming for your love, OK?), by Moonygirl, 3,042 words

Eveyone except Patrick knows that they’d been dating forever. Jonny deals with it by knitting.

-[Podfic] Kids Like You And Me, by Hananobira, 43:31 minutes

[Original written work had been deleted.

Alternate Podfic Version: Kids Like You And Me by Ohtempora [Podfic], by Rhea314 (Rhea), 38:14 minutes]

5+1 players who are sure Kane and Toews are dating.

-Roommate Rings, by orphan_account, 6,360

Patrick's apartment is infested with cockroaches, so he needs a temporary place to stay at, que Jonny offering. Also, Patrick thought of the excellent idea of roommate rings.

It's a cute, easy to read story.

Patrick Kane/Tyler Seguin

-falling was the easy thing to do, by hishn_greywalker, 4,524 words

[Podfic Version Available: Podfic of falling was the easy thing to do by unperfectwolf, by NeuroticSquirrel, 23:12 minutes]

Tyler has a crush on Patrick in Biel which bleeds out to the rest of the season. Menawhile, Donna and Patrick's sisters welcome him to the family.

It's wholesome, and I liked the relationship of Tyler with each of the Kane Family.

Jamie Benn/Tyler Seguin

-you haven't moved an inch, by blinkiesays, 7,301 words

Jamie slept with Tyler after a wild night out, it leads to a friends-with-benefits relationship...Well at least he thought it did.

-[Podfic] God, You Two Are So Married, by xan_reads (xancredible), 31:51 minutes

[Original Written Work: God, You Two Are So Married, by popfly, 3,900 words]

Everytime the team makes fun of them when they acting like a married couple they play along, until it seems too real.

-all i've kept within, lay before your eyes, by Menacherie, 2,922 words

Jamie buys Tyler a dog. Then he moves in with him.

It's a short, cute, domestic fic.

-different and the same, by Menacherie, 1,014 words

When Jordie makes a passing comment on their usual date night, Jamie start to reconsider things.

-O Holy Night!, by sadieb798, 2,279 words

During Casino Night their teammates talk to Jamie about his non-existense relationship with Tyler.

Danny Briere/Claude Giroux

-Only An Easy Game, by vamm_goda, 6,450 words

Claude is married to Danny and eveyone knows it. Well, except from Claude.

-settle down (you're not alone anymore), by hishn_greywalker, 8,696 words

After Danny's trade Claude finds out that in the eyes of the kids he was always listed as a step-dad. I really liked the family dynemic in this story.

Nicklas Backstrom/Alexander Ovechkin

-are you mine?, by scissorghost, 1,168 words

An off-handed remark from Tom made Nicklas to reavaluate the meaning of the weekly dinner nights with Alex.

Paul Martin/James Neal

-[Podfic of] Marriage is What Brings Us Together, by exmanhater, 17:08 minutes

[Origianl Written Work: Marriage is What Brings Us Together, by james, 3,175 words]

James finds out that he was somehow married to Paul. It leads to reevaluation of his life.

Arranged Marriage

Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews

-The Arrangement, by gloriousfaceduck, 47,694 words

Historical AU where Patrick marries Jonny to give his family a better faith. Now he needs to adjust to his knew life. 

-the promises you keep, by gasmsinc, 31,349 words

When Jonny finds out he was engaged to a stranger since he was a child, his life as a NHL player changes in more than one way. He isn’t sure if he likes it or not.

-A cute tumblr post, by Linsky

Jonny was always against his parents finding him a match, but now that he found someone perfect it’s even less apealling than before.

Jeff Skinner/Eric Staal

-Don't Go Breaking My Heart (I Couldn't If I Tried), by wantstothrill, 8,377 words

Jeff was never really interested in marriage, but when the eldest of the Staal family in making an offer to his family he finds himself agreeing  

Nicklas Backstrom/Alexander Ovexhkin

-the washington royals, by screamlet, 44789 wprds

The Russian Monarch and the Swedish Monarch form a treaty that promise a future marriage between Prince Nicklas and Prince Sasha. I really liked the world building and the relationship between the two of them.

GOOD READING/LISTENING TO EVERYONE!

[linskywords]

Hey, the fic by Rest is named “wether I’m in your arms or at your feets” and the podfic version is still on AO3 (and is really good) 🥰

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1103958

Aaaaah coming through with the knowledge, thank you!!

[moonyheartbot]

little 1988 excerpt

“You need to tell him you love him.” His future self insists.

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea.” He grimaces.

“Dude, we’re not even gay! Don’t listen to him.”

Future-Patrick cuts an unimpressed stare at their younger self. “You’re not part of this conversation.”

“Yeah, I’m gonna have to agree with him on this one. Might have to wait a few more years.” Patrick nods. 

Future-Patrick snorts in agreement. Past-Patrick looks like he’s going to have a stroke.

This has been stuck in my docs for ages now and I am putting it out here to see if anyone likes this concept - I might continue it, I really like it but the only thing putting me off is that it would probably be a pretty long one.

[cgsf]

Men's Hockey (RPF) fanfiction recs:

Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews [Part 1]

"This Heart Is Not For Wasting" (E) by thefourofswords | 16,007 | Patrick puts his head in his hands. “How could this get any worse?” “Wait, it’s not like, a big deal is it?” Duncs asks, looking at him and Jonny in turn. “The way you and Jonny are weird about each other? She’s gotta have made her peace with it ages ago.”

"Keep You On My Arm" (E) by rsadelle | 6,732 | In which the gay bar is Stalberg's idea and Kaner doesn't notice Jon pretending to be his boyfriend.

"Words They'll Write on My Tombstone" (E) by thefourofswords | 10,507 | In which Patrick Kane gets a little hysterically obsessed with Jonathan Toews' sexual prowess.

"Tympani" (E) by demotu | 45,143 | Jonny’s prostate is a gift from the gods. Patrick’s patience, also.

"Learning As We Go" (E) by purplecatsweater | 30,207 | Patrick lets out a sigh, kind of heavy, and says, “You have to look at me when you’re talking, man.” Jonny fumbles at that, pushing his feet over the edge and looks up. He thought he had been, but Patrick is watching him, waiting for him to talk again, paying attention like he knows he’ll miss it if he’s not. All Jonny can think is how much that has to suck.

"22" (T) by purplecatsweater | 12,598 | There’s no other explanation. His soulmate must have turned twenty-two yesterday.

"Disproven Hypotheses" (E) by thefourofswords | 16,367 | In which everybody thinks Jonathan Toews is chaste like a nun. Everybody, it turns out, is very, very wrong.

"in close" (E) by demotu | 2,719 | It’s been undeniably cuddling for a couple of weeks, now, and Pat’s taken to tucking his face into the crook of Jonny’s neck while they talk, his lips catching on Jonny’s skin as they go over the last game or the upcoming competition.

"let them leave you up in the air" (E) by sorrylatenew | 8,632 | It feels so fucking good and Patrick can already tell, already knows this one’s gonna leave him messed up afterwards.

"Fight or Flight" 🔒 (E) by sophiahelix | 2,173 | Jonny lifts his hands to rest on Patrick's shoulders, warmth seeping through the cloth of his t-shirt. He leans in, pushing his nose into the hair at Patrick's temple, and takes a long sniff. A trembling starts between Patrick's shoulder blades, like he's freezing cold or he's been up way too late. "Yeah," Jonny says, low and rumbling, and Patrick can feel his voice. "That smells right."

"Chosen" 🔒 (M) by sophiahelix | 2,510 | "It's not what it looks like," Patrick says. Jonny clears his throat, tracing the tiny blue lettering that curves along the pale skin of Patrick’s exposed hip, above his waistband. “That says Jonny.”

"Written All Over My Face" (E) by rsadelle | 4,678 | He and Jonny hook up sometimes, sober on the road, drunk at home, but Pat isn't thinking about that, not when he takes Jonny's jersey and not later, when he's getting ready for bed in a room that's too empty with just him in it and he opens his bag to the bright red of a jersey. He just takes the jersey out of his bag and pulls it on over his t-shirt.

"Orbital Resonance" (E) by joyfulseeker & thefourofswords | 80,825 | “Jonny, sometimes when you look at me like that...” Patrick trails off. Jonny runs his thumb along Patrick’s jaw, dipping down to his throat as if he could urge him to complete that sentence. Patrick’s adam’s apple bobs under the press of his fingers. “Like what?” Jonny asks. “Like you lo—” Patrick stumbles again, cutting off the word before it’s fully voiced. Jonny’s barely seen him appear anything less than fearless. He looks terrified right now. Jonny breathes out. “Yeah,” he replies, finally throwing that down.

"Accepted Practice" 🔒 (E) by thefourofswords | 25,665 | People have started referring to Jonny as Patrick’s little buddy, and every time Jonny looks over him, that hidden smile appearing at the corner of his mouth. He’s a little demon—Patrick has long since come to realize. The thing is—he likes Jonny. He likes talking to him about hockey, and hearing his funny stories about his family. They talk about UMass and Patrick’s complete lack of a major. How can he even be sharing this with a 14-year-old? He doesn’t know.

"A Climate of Competitive Egoism" (M) by thefourofswords | 3,000 | Sometimes you just need these ego-defense mechanisms to justify making out with your teammate.

"No, I Never Told Lies To You" (E) by thefourofswords | 6,112 | And then there was Patrick, head turning, drawing Jon’s eyes in powerful magnetic flux, the slow smile dawning into a grin, and all Jon could think, as his heart burst in his chest, amidst the sound of the dagger and the cheers they hadn’t heard in far too long, was, oh. Oh.

"This Is What A Love Song Sounds Like" (E) by thefourofswords | 7,237 | Ten years after they fucked around in high school, Patrick and Jonny meet back up at their high school reunion.

"Vitamin K" (E) by thefourofswords | 9,373 | That time Jonny and Patrick got together because they scored 10 points together.

"When The Heart Finesse Won" (E) by thefourofswords | 3,782 | A story of two idiots who've been in love for twenty years finally getting together in 2021.

"Action Reaction" (E) by thefourofswords | 12,213 | A story where Johnny and Patrick definitely don't get along off the ice.

"The Reeducation of Misters Kane and Toews" 🔒 (T) by jezziejay | 15,955 | In which Kaner sort of has a kid, and Mr. Toews doesn't know which of them is the bigger brat. AU featuring teacher!Jon and hockey-player!Kaner. With bonus 'Hawks characters, love notes, pasta jewelry, Be Better Pizzas, pirouettes, a sprinke of angst and guest appearance by Derek Jeter.

"bona fides" (E) by demotu | 12,248 | “I’m gay, Patrick,” Jonathan interrupts, voice somehow still even and steady when Patrick feels ready to bolt. “I’m gay, and I played hockey. I thought about going pro. I have friends in the league, so—” he shrugs. “Like I said, I’m not crying in any gay bars over this, but I get why you might.”

"Call Me Baby" (E) by demotu | 7,115 | Patrick's text says: sometimes all I can think about is rubbing my dick all over your tits. It's not meant for Jonny, but maybe he wishes it were.

"still waters" (E) by demotu | 7,803 | “Why did we stop doing this?” Pat asks, softening against Jon’s hip. “We wanted different things,” Jon says, curling his arm around Pat. “Did we?” Pat asks, sounding doubtful. “Yeah,” explains Jon. “I wanted a relationship, you wanted to fuck.” Pat uncurls, sits up. “That’s not how it went at all.”

"it's not gay if they don't come" (M) by Penelopiad | 12,812 | They always wrestle for it. It’s like, tradition at this point.

"Somewhere Only We Know" 🔒 (M) by jezziejay | 21,705 | Kaner kicks off his twenty-eighth birthday party with an exponential crisis. Jonny frowns at him. “You’re having a crisis of ever-more-rapidly-increasing numbers?”

"Like Cupping Water (In Your Hands)" (E) by boxparade | 13,144 | "Are you sure it’s in there?" Kaner asks, poking indelicately at Annie’s stomach and squinting. "Kaner," Jon hisses, slapping at his hand. "What! It’s my baby, Jonny, I gotta make sure Annie’s mutant body didn’t, like, absorb its powers or something."

"Sunday Edition" 🔒 (NR) by twentysomething | 2,903 | And of course, because Sharpy is the most ill-mannered Canadian ever, he opens up the newspaper like he doesn't have the most entertaining thing in Chicago across the table from him anyway. He's totally pretending to read it, just to make Patrick salty, but two can play at that game, so he snatches the Sunday inserts out of the folds, smirking at Sharpy. But he glances down and staring up at him, looking like, all of eighteen and strangely soft and sweet is Jonathan fucking Toews.

"no guarantees, maybe that’s what i need" (E) by 19red & littlelocaldreamer | 4,397 | He thinks how easy it’d be just to ask, how hard it is to imagine an answer that wouldn't be yes, that wouldn't overlap with a plea.

"when you give that look to me" (E) by littlelocaldreamer | 2,210 The tension’s been building for years.

"too young for love" (E) by littlelocaldreamer | 1,430 | Patrick’s always been his most reckless self when drinking.

"something i can breathe in" (E) by littlelocaldreamer | 1,901 | He never put his heart into sex the way he put it into hockey.

"the only one my body loves" (E) by littlelocaldreamer | 3,416 | Everyone has something to say about Patrick’s size. Everyone but Jonny.

"to follow all the paths you choose" (E) by littlelocaldreamer | 20,788 | He should stop this before they cross a line they can’t come back from.

"his voice is a familiar sound" (E) by littlelocaldreamer | 2,178 | They’ve never slept in the same bed together before.

"Put My Key In Your Ignition" (E) by joyfulseeker & thefourofswords | 34,371 | Patrick has gotten used to getting it exactly the way he wants, when he wants. Jonny's got something to say about that.

"The Winning Strategy" (E) by SimoneClouseau | 10,560 | Jonny doesn't lose at gay chicken.

"end game" (T) by 19red | 1,400 | Patrick wants someone to touch his dick.

"dress me in your favorite disguise" 🔒 (E) by 19red | 7,250 | Just two boys... having a threesome and definitely not thinking about each other's dicks 'cause they're not gay!

"i think of you in colors" 🔒 (E) by toewsin | 24,893 | Patrick's calm and uneventful life as a figure skating coach at Shattuck-St. Mary's is rudely disturbed when recently retired NHL-star Jonathan Toews arrives on campus as the new hockey coach.

"our decades in the sun" 🔒 (E) by toewsin | 21,017 | Jonny meets Patrick in 2009, when the team stays at the Kane Regency Buffalo hotel.

"safety first" 🔒 (T) by toewsin | 1,645 | It's not that Jonny doesn't like Connor. He's a solid guy and a good teammate. Now if only he could stop yanking Kaner around like a sack of potatoes, that'd be great.

"Not a Heart of Gold" (E) by Anonymous | 14,451 | For the longest time this fic was unofficially titled 'Kaner's not a hooker but Tazer probably wants him to be', and I really can't think of a better way to summarise it than that. Many words of Tazer fantasising, pining, jerking off, and paying for sex, because that's apparently how he rolls.

"Do It Better Than Anybody" 🔒 (NR) by twentysomething | 2,916 | And Johnny is just lounging over Patrick's breakfast counter, looking like something a Pay-Per-View channel devoted to farm-bred Canadian ass would spit up, his gray, threadbare sweatpants doing nothing to prevent Patrick from staring at his stupidly perfect everything. It's unsporting to give Patrick a semi in his own kitchen just by existing.

"Reaching Out" 🔒 (E) by elisera | 2,628 | He’s already dozing by the time the last guys make it on the bus, and he barely registers it when Johnny strokes the back of his knuckles over Patrick’s cheek on his way to his own seat, just twitches at the tease, the tickle, rubs his beard against his shoulder.

"squeezing blood from a stone" 🔒 (E) by achilleees | 25,300 | Kaner’s voice wavers, losing composure. “It’s a platelet disorder.” Johnny frowns. “Like… the shit that clots your blood?” “Right,” Kaner says. “I don’t have any.”

"tightened my belt around my hips (where your hands were missing)" 🔒 (E) by sarapod | 10,757 | Getting dumped by Jonny is sort of like being in a hit-and-run: Patrick doesn’t see it coming and by the time he can react it’s over.

"lean a little to the left" (M) by demotu | 18,791 | Kane leaned to his left, trying to coax the insolent puck wide with a little body English. Then he leaned harder. Then he smacked himself on the forehead when he realized what was about to happen.

"Tell Me I'm Pretty" 🔒 (E) by sarapod | 7,745 | Patrick Kane’s not that kind of girl. Jonny’s just not sure what kind of girl he is.

"Right Number" 🔒 (E) by brutti_ma_buoni | 9,571 | He texts Kaner, just quickly. Just to get himself out of his head. 'Hey buddy. Think you misdialled. But I’m here for you, whatever you need. Let’s talk.'

"Just Maybe" 🔒 (M) by altri_uccelli | 86,102 | "I have something to tell you," Jon says. He thought he'd have to be a little drunker to manage it, but Kaner's sitting there looking relaxed, his arms stretched out across the top of the sofa and the breeze ruffling his hair. He's become one of the most constant things in Jon's life, and Jon wonders now if all the forced closeness in the first five years, and the consequent conflicts, somehow led Jon to putting him in a friend category that he’s—they’ve—outgrown.

"Five Times Jonny Touched Patrick's Hair (and one time he didn't)" 🔒 (T) by altri_uccelli | 709 | “You gotta be more careful, man,” the text said, with a link to tumblr. Jonny grimaced; if it was another of those stupid cats saying stupid misspelled...he froze. It was them, a gif of them at the awards, and... He stared at it. He didn’t even remember.

"Same Time, Same Place" 🔒 (E) by brutti_ma_buoni | 15,576 | It should be a one-off, an awkward airport first meeting that goes nowhere. But this one goes somewhere. Back to Jonny's, for a start. It shouldn't go any further, a one-nighter with no strings, and plenty of reasons for Patrick not to go back there. But Patrick won't let it go. It should be a disaster, a mismatch, a scandal, a shoddy secret regret. But... maybe not?

"You and Me" (E) by my99centdreams | 4,696 | Pat and Jonny are sweethearts.

"Baby, You're the One" 🔒 (M) by jezziejay | 6,049 | 6k words of Jonathan Toews having feelings about babies. And feelings about Kaner. And feelings about putting a baby in Kaner.

"Q and A" 🔒 (T) by jezziejay | 1,464 | Which would you rather,” Patrick says one rainy night in November. “Be able to run a hundred miles an hour or be able to fly?” Jonny turns in the bed a little. “Why isn't one of those options go to sleep?” Patrick sighs. “Bear with me, Jonny. I'm going somewhere with this.”

"Ice-cream Castles in the Air" 🔒 (M) by jezziejay | 27,013 | This end of Buffalo smells like it always has - too hot, too stiffling, too saturating. Patrick finds Jonny almost exactly where he last left him five years ago, as if suspended in time. (or the sweet home alabama au)

"Occasionally" 🔒 (M) by jezziejay | 3,655 | Occasionally, Jonny has sex with Kaner. On special occasions.

"Castles" 🔒 (E) by thefourofswords | 3,666 | In 2007, Jonathan Toews disappeared. Fifteen years later Patrick finds him again.

"Start Again" 🔒 (T) by trademarkgiggle | 4,268 | Patrick's never been sure if Jonny's retirement plans have room for him or not.

"Three" 🔒 (E) by Linsky | 18,469 | Patrick doesn’t think he’s a pervert. But how would he know? Maybe a pervert is just a thing you are, and it doesn’t feel any different from being a normal person, until you do something perverted. Maybe that’s him. After all, he does have two names on his wrist.

"under starlight" 🔒 (E) by tarcanza | 16,236 | Jonny stretches like a cat, all lithe and limber, bringing a hand to scratch lazily against his stomach. “Truth or dare, Peeks?” Jonny asks, eyes slitted open, peering up from under his lashes. He’s sprawled all loose on the bed, leaning back on his elbows, back arched enough that Patrick can see the hard press of his nipples through the thin white cotton of his shirt. Thighs spread a little wide—a suggestion.

"A Very Good Bad Idea" (E) by 🔒 Linsky | 2,981 | Patrick doesn’t think before he takes the screenshot.

"They're Writing Songs of Love (But Not for Me)" 🔒 (E) by Linsky | 34,208 | It’s a little raised piece of plastic on the underside of his wrist, parallel to the veins and about the size of a razor’s head. Patrick would expect it to get broken in two seconds in a hockey game, except that it seems to be made of some kind of indestructible material that never cracks. It has a little inset screen where numbers can display like on an old digital watch, and in theory, those numbers count down the days until he meets his soulmate. Patrick’s has been blank his entire life.

"Words get tangled up in good intentions" 🔒 (E) by mermaid | 5,564 | They've been hooking up for more than a year, undefined and mostly unspoken, when Johnny first speaks French in bed with Kaner.

"When I Say When" (E) by anonymous | 5,431 | Patrick gets back from Switzerland and lets Jonny reclaim some territory.

"It's You Next To Me (And It Is Me Beside You)"🔒 (M) by Tirsh | 782 | Pat’s all pouty and stompy and muttering under his breath while he throws shit in an overnight bag because he’s leaving for Nashville in the morning and Jonny is, well, Jonny is not doing any of those things.

"You Will Always Be the Rest of Me" 🔒 (M) by Tirsh | 4,459 | Reaching the couch, Jonny threads his fingers into the soft curls at Pat’s nape and leans in, pressing his lips to Pat’s, soft and sweet, before asking, “How ya doin’?” Pat is ready with a pissy ‘it was two days asshole’ on the tip of his tongue, but then he looks at Jonny who looks flat out exhausted. And worried. And really fucking great, because he’s still Jonny and Pat can feel the tension he didn’t even realize he was carrying bleeding out of his neck and shoulders as Jonny’s fingers work their magic, so he sighs and goes instead with the truth. “Better, now you’re home.”

"Together in this Place" (E) by joyfulseeker | 12,952 | Practice is another reassuring mix of faces Patrick knows, drills he understands, Coach’s calls from the side. It feels good, like he’s flexing muscles that had gone tired and unused while he was over in Europe. He and Jonny are put on opposite sides playing keep-away, and he feels easier and easier on the ice, his pads and helmet a familiar weight on his body. He is going to light it up this season.

"Your Daddy's Aim Is True" 🔒 (E) by thefourthvine | 14,896 | And then he sees Johnny, who is crazy-eyed and holding a tiny infant. "What the fuck -" Patrick starts, and all three adults in the room look up and hiss at him in scary unison. The tiny infant in Johnny's arms starts wailing. The sound makes Patrick want to kill someone.

"Fizzle" (E) by cupstealer | 4,338 | Jonny pretty much knows when he’s playing well. Pat likes to tell him anyways.

"What I'm Trying to Say" (E) by cupstealer | 4,256 | Patrick loses his voice for a few weeks in the summer.

"do it like they do on the discovery channel" 🔒 (E) by hazel | 11,251 | It turns out that buddyfucking your best friend without shit getting weird requires constant vigilance.

"The Importance of Swimming in Clear Water" 🔒 (E) by turningterrific | 25,019 | One week during the first round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Games are lost, opposing captains are concussed, feelings are recognized, TV is watched, naps are shared, games are won. In other words, it's a big week.

"the courtship of patrick kane" 🔒 (E) by hazel | 9,673 | “Well,” Kaner says finally. “If you want to keep cockblocking me with the ladies, you’re gonna have to make it worth my while.” He’s smirking like it’s a challenge, like he knows Jon can’t ever let a challenge drop, and that’s it. That’s how Jon realises that he’s totally, completely, embarrassingly head-over-heels in love with Patrick fucking Kane.

"Royal Blue" (E) by cupstealer | 52,038 | Patrick and Jonny haven't been close friends in six years. Nothing a little friendly competition can't fix.

"it’s you and me moving at the speed of light" 🔒 (E) by anonymous | 3,795 | “Come on,” he says, voice breaking as Jonny closes his mouth over Patrick’s neck. “Show me how much you liked my goal.” No one’s ever argued against the fact that he’s got an arrogant streak, so it’s probably a good thing Jonny matches him in that respect, too. “I’d have liked it more if it’d been one of three."

"Make His Brown Eyes Blue" 🔒 (T) by jezziejay | 8,802 | Jonny's an FBI agent. Patrick's on the Most Wanted list. Occasionally they tie each other up and make out.

"If I'm Crazy, It's You and Me Both" (E) by thefourofswords | 2,024 | It would be different if Jonny were an unknown to everybody else. If Patrick’s entire history with him wasn’t so visible and public. Maybe he could’ve hidden it better. People had both expected him and Jonny to be something and simultaneously thought it was never going to happen, because surely if it could have, it would have. Patrick got it, he’d been there himself. People were naturally curious as to what finally tipped the scales.

"Separate the Game from the Truth" (E) by cupstealer | 3,459 | The singing is a constant thing. Jonny’s theory is that it’s just something to keep Kaner's mouth and part of his brain busy, because it’s all the damn time. Lyrics seem to stick to his brain the way stats do. Jonny’s gotten used to it; it’s mostly easy to ignore. Mostly.

"Full Service" (E) by joyfulseeker | 3,015 | "Walk me through your stretch-out thing. You've done it enough, I bet you can show me what to do." Jonny swings his feet to the floor. “Okay,” Patrick says slowly.

"On the Line" (E) by anonymous | 26,788 | In which Kaner finds out Jonny wants to fuck him and is pretty okay with that turn of events. Phone sex, picnic baskets, crazy eyes, hockey and insanity ensue.

"Hockeysexual" (E) by thefourofswords | 14,445 | Kaner and Tazer might be the straightest straight dudes to ever straight. They want to bone each other anyway.

"I Know For Sure" 🔒 (M) by turningterrific | 32,972 | Patrick laughs. “Oh, so we’re allowed to make fun of it then? Cause I’ve gotta say—” “No,” Jackie says, turning to him just as two wolves go flying through the air to attack each other laughably. “We get to make fun of it. Just like we get to make fun of you. But no one else gets to make fun of you, because you’re our dumb brother, and we love you.” Erica and Jessica choose that moment to enter without knocking, loudly pushing and shoving for a place on the couch, smacking him on the thigh until he scoots over far enough for their liking. “So I’m the ‘Teen Wolf’ of brothers?” Patrick asks, for clarification. The girls all share a look and then burst out laughing.

"Irreplaceable" (M) by anonymous | 23,631 | Pat has seen Jonny naked of course. He’s seen him in less dignifying moments than he would care to admit. And on a far more regular basis. Which is why he laughs out loud when he skims through the July edition of the Blackhawks magazine that he’s found lying around in his living room and gets hung up on the monthly section of “pick a teammate”. Jonathan Toews having the best tattoo? A solid lie. Patrick knows Kopecky, and he can practically see him laughing his ass off while sending his bullshit answers to the editor. Good one. He chuckles, turns the page, and forgets about it. Only he doesn’t.

"Take me to the edge so I can fall apart" 🔒 (E) by linaerys | 13,718 | Jonny's weird about his bruises, and Patrick wonders why.

"in a shower of" (M) by thisissirius | 1,389 | Jonny washes patrick's hair; Patrick doesn't hate it.

"Ode to Posterior" (E) by thisissirius | 1,398 | Jonny’s always been an ass person.

"where only we tread" (E) by thisissirius | 1,267 | “Fuck, we’re getting too old for this,” Patrick says, from somewhere under a mound of sheets. He’s fairly sure this isn’t his bed, at least not the one in Trump Tower, it’s too big and there’s an arm slung across his back. His head is pounding, and he feels slightly sick, though his constitution for holding his alcohol has improved a lot. He barely remembers the night before, just a blur of cheering, drink, music and Jonny screaming obscenities in his ear. There was the cup and - fuck. Patrick shifts on the bed, dislodging Jonny’s arm, but throws a leg over his thigh. “Wake up, asshole.”

"Stories sticking to your skin" (E) by linaerys | 7,406 | Johnny can’t stop looking at Patrick and wanting things, like to grab Patrick in front of all these people and kiss him so everyone knows that Patrick’s his. Even in this state, he knows that's not a good plan, but he’s even drunk enough and high enough on winning that he thinks it might be time to tell Patrick that he’s done sharing him with everyone else.

"love is a contact sport" 🔒 (E) by hazel & mermaid | 109,901 | And the tragic reality of Patrick's life is that even though they broke up over a year ago, he and Johnny still play beautiful hockey together.

"what i did on my summer vacation" 🔒 (E) by hazel | 8,971 | Patrick meets Johnny on his third day working at Greg’s Emporium, the summer after his freshman year of college.

"under your skin" 🔒 (E) by hazel | 5,898 | Patrick goes to bed that night in Tazer’s guest room. It’s not the first time he’s slept there, but it’s the first time he’s tried to sleep in Tazer’s body. His legs want to kick out weirdly into the corners of the bed, and his head can’t find a comfortable position on the pillow. He drops off eventually anyway, worn from the current of rage he’s been carrying around all day and the constant slow rhythm of Tazer’s heartbeat, drumming in his chest like a cage.

"a light-handed approach to regulation" 🔒 (E) by hazel | 34,078 | The Blackhawks are the first North American professional sports team to have an alpha and an omega on the roster at the same time; Patrick guesses that makes him pretty special, even if he’d rather be known for his hockey skills and not what his dick would do if he was banging an omega.

"must've lost your wits" 🔒 (E) by anonymous | 1,867 | Jonny is staring at him. Jonny – is staring at his mouth. Patrick smiles a little bit, feeling every slow moment of it; feeling strange, as though under scrutiny he has forgotten how to use his own muscles.

"He's All That" 🔒 (E) by claudine | 2,217 | “Thought you'd say no,” Kaner says, soft. “Saw that hit on you in the second.” His fingers play with the edge of Jonny's T-shirt collar, callouses skimming hot against skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake. Jonny resists a shiver. “Got my hip good," Jonny says. "Wanted your mouth though.”

"Generation" 🔒 (T) by altri_uccelli | 35,319 | In which Patrick’s daughter and Jonny’s son are discovered making out under Seabs’ dock at a 2010 Cup team reunion, and become a catalyst for other discoveries.

"we took the slow way" 🔒 (T) by fadeastride | 4,505 | Pat’s still thinking about all the obnoxious door-to-door things he could be when the door swings open and holy shit. He has got to be better about meeting his neighbors if more of his neighbors look like this guy.

"the show goes on" 🔒 (E) by hazel | 4,507 | “Sharing clothes now, boys?” Grace asks, while a Chevy ad plays. Johnny tenses, but Kaner just shrugs. “So?” he asks. She grins. “Nothing. It’s just so cute.” “Yeah, well,” Johnny says. “Nobody cares who I sleep with.”

"not your baby" 🔒 (E) by claudine | 975 | “We’re friends,” Kaner had explained once. “So we’re helping each other out.” Helping each other out is buying Jonny’s favorite from the sandwich store when it’s on the way. It’s going to the gym together, competing on the bike. (It’s not afterwards, when they’re sweaty and disgusting, Kaner whispering filth into Jonny’s ears.)

••••••

And that's 100.

[nightshadehasblorbos]

Fic Feature Friday

(Part 5: 8 March 2024)

88 Dates [PODFIC] by Opalsong

Explicit | Men’s Hockey RPF | Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews | 1-1.5 hours | Ao3

Summary:

He promised Oshie he would make the fucking audition tape, so he did. And against all fucking odds, he got a callback from a woman who sounded like even she couldn’t believe she was making the call. Because that’s Jonny’s life now. or, a Bachelor AU, where film star Patrick Kane is going on 88 Dates and Jonny goes on more than a few of them.

Original deleted, tagging Patrick Kane for filtering.

[nebulein]

Jonny's chest is open and his heart is wandering, beating a red echo all over the ice, trailing behind his skates, flitting from the ice to the stands to the locker room, zipping around like it can't decide where to settle, what it's attached to most.

"Last one," Sharpy says, looking smooth in his suit, wrinkles around his eyes but a smile on his face. He's late, should probably be upstairs in his press cabin prepping already. Jonny's still in workout clothes, watches his heart beat on Sharpy's shoulder, throwing his face in soft pink relief.

"Knock em dead. And--" Sharpy looks at Jonny, squeezing his hand he's got clasped in his, a friendly shake, eyes intent, "don't be a stranger."

"No," Jonny agrees, watching his heart slide down Sharpy's shoulder, the line of his arm. "I'll be around."

He catches his heart before it can slip into Sharpy's suit pocket, cupping it in a loose fist, secure for now. His heart always was a sneaky one.

"Text me, Toes," Sharpy says, feet already towards the door, twisting back to point at Jonny, extracting his promise with an wagging finger. "Make the kids explain iMessage again if they have to."

Jonny laughs, his heart beating excitedly in his palm. "Fuck off, you're older than me."

"And wiser, baby!" Sharpy crows triumphantly, waving over his head, already out the door.

Jonny's heart slips free, distracted, shooting down the hallway chasing after the glimpse of a passing Murph like a garish pink bolt. "Ah shit," Jonny mutters, and jogs after it.

He's been chasing it all day.

Last game at home, forever, in here, these halls, this building.

"We won't extend your contract," Kyle had said and Jonny had had to press a hand to his chest to keep his heart from jumping out. Of course it's all over the place today.

Jonny doesn't mind his heart wandering, had lost that fight the minute he drove in here, security guard Gary waving him through the gate, his heart pressed against the windshield of his car.

He just cannot afford to lose it here.

[bropunzeling]

Hi! Sorry to bother you, I really love your work on ao3, you're an amazing writer! I have a request, which I totally understand if you don't want to grant, but I was wondering how you would feel about giving me access/letting me read your "and it's you I hear" fic with Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews? I missed out on the many fics posted about them, many of which are now deleted (understandably), but I've totally fallen for the pairing and I'm so intrigued by the description I found of your fic.

hello! i do not provide copies of that fic or any other deleted fic involving patrick kane or jonathan toews. i deleted those works for a reason and have only gained additional reasons to have done so in light of the kyle beach investigation, and i don't feel comfortable resharing those works even privately. thanks for your understanding!

[wipbigbang]

Story Title: try to catch the sun

Fandom: Men’s hockey RPF

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49866979

Summary: 1969. Patrick uses alcohol to keep himself from thinking about his enlistment, his parents, his future. Enter Jonny, a Canadian hippie in San Francisco, who thinks Patrick deserves better, and knows plenty of ways to show him.

Warnings: Explicit. Contains themes of war and violence, as well as PTSD. For more detailed warnings, see the author’s notes at the end of the fic or send me a message on Tumblr.

Characters: A Chicago Blackhawks ensemble (and TJ Oshie)

Pairings: Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews