#and I’m so tired I want to cry
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#so my cough has now fucked up my throat enough that I’m coughing up a bit of blood#it’s 6 am and I haven’t been able to sleep because of it#I’ve missed three shifts already bc food safety but I need money#I can’t distract myself from how bleh I feel#and I’m so tired I want to cry#maddie talks#physically I can usually handle being sick but the mental toll is a lot
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ok yknow what i’m gonna say it
no matter how “bad” logan has been or how “little” he deserves this 2nd year or how he’s a “pay driver” or whatever else y’all always say
he doesn’t deserve this. any of this
since the very first moment he stepped in a f1 car, he’s been treated as a joke. first it was the wtf is a kilometre jokes then rah rah eagles and now logan in the wall / fork found in kitchen / deuxmoi memes. every weekend, the commentators compare him to his teammate, ignoring the difference in experience and the way they aren’t even driving the same car and that logan was literally running last years specs multiple times. they compare him to oscar, who has driven multiple times f1 cars during test runs and is in a mclaren and the situations are not even remotely similar, ignoring that logan was promoted early, that he didn’t have much opportunity to drive f1 cars even for testing, that he was literally tossed into the deep end without any help and told to survive.
the only time they were even remotely kind to him was when they gave his car to alex. which thanks for the support or whatever but that is so backhanded i don’t even have the words to describe it.
i think we’re all coming to the terms with the reality that this will be his last year in f1. and i don’t think that’s fair for so many reasons. you promote him early, you give him a shit car, you talk bad about him in the media and you don’t promote him (lap of legends hello?) and you openly court other drivers for his seat. you disrespect him and allow others to disrespect him and that’s not right.
formula 1 is the dream for so many people. imagine achieving your dream, even if it’s in a joke of a team, even if it’s too early. but then you become the joke of a joke, you become the american, which is a bad thing. the outsider, the one who doesn’t belong. they make fun of you each weekend. they ask every day when you’ll be replaced.
(and yeah i agree. he does need to improve to have any hope of keeping his seat, f1 is brutal and it’s never been kind, and i’m not being naive and thinking oh it’s his dream and so he deserves it despite it all. i’m not saying that. what i am saying is that is a human being, just like nicholas latifi was, and some of you are too comfortable being cruel.)
speaking of being the american. they make fun of you as though that will punish the fia for putting 3 us races on the calendar. as though that will punish all the american fans who came to f1 through drive to survive. as though that will keep f1 pure and european and whatever the fuck else - they do the same to yuki and zhou and checo and lewis and even if logan’s situation is not even remotely similar to what they’ve experienced, there’s a bias to f1 that cannot be ignored.
but that’s not the point i’m trying to make. not today
this was your dream. this was your dream. and you were never allowed to enjoy it because you became the punchline of a joke the minute you accepted the seat. it was always going to end like this. you knew that.
so yeah. congrats to logan for achieving his dream of driving in f1! it’s unfortunate that he was never allowed to live it.
#logan sargeant is just nicholas latifi in a different font#the joke the north american the scapegoat in a williams#the nicest people ever. the sweetest#and you ruin their lives again and again#williams#logan sargeant#f1#i’m just tired ok. like i think i’m gonna go cry for a little bit#its so tiring seeing him as the joke when he’s a person ok!! he wants to be here! he wants this just as much as everyone else#like imagine achieving your dream and then hating it. you get everything you every wanted and then you wish you never got any of it#i can only hope he does actually chose to accept a seat in indy car or some other motorsport#and not disappear like nicky did. bc that’s what happens when you break someone#and when you make them doubt all their talent and ruin their dream
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Bakugou does your skincare for you on days when you’re just not feeling it. he’s only started doing his own thing because of some shitty products you had gotten, that did worse for your skin than better. But of course, his skin is something miraculous, can be soothed by the demon products that broke you out.
but he stands beside you in the bathroom now, during your nightly routine. does everything in the same order as you, tells you quietly about his day during this small, intimate moment. he notices when you’re tired, when you skip more than two steps, do something quick and easy.
“Sit down,” he tells you, demanding but yet so gentle. you’re tired, bone deep, and he sees that. can feel it in the way your shoulders slump, and that tiny little smile whenever he says something funny. but he takes care of you in those moments, doesn’t ask what’s wrong if you’re not offering the information up. knows that sometimes it’s not always a specific issue, knows that sometimes you just get like that and need the extra attention and comfort.
so he helps you with your skincare routine. rubs whatever oils and balms you need into your cheeks and forehead, spritzes your face as soft as he can. he applies your lip oil and wipes a rag down your nose to clean your face up. his hands are gentle in their ministrations, rough palms suddenly soft as they swipe over your cheeks. and when he finishes up with you, does he press the softest kiss to your hairline and cheek and lips. goes about his own routine quickly before he’s helping you to your feet, leading you back to the room.
on these nights, they’re silent but say so much about—about everything. and you hold him closer than you ever do; in thanks, in gratefulness, in gratitude, in love.
#making myself cry at this#everything is so hard and I’m so tired#I just want someone to take care of me#also I think my sugar is low which is why I’m emotional LOL#—new treat in the streets! 🍫#bakugou treats! 🍬
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Welp, as I was googling some images for Yasammy week, I came across a thread and turns out one of my favorite Jurassic YouTubers is homophobic and a Yasammy hater…
(More ranting in the tags)
#Guess I’m not watching his content anymore#I literally don’t care that he’s a Christian just stop spreading misinformation#I guess he would hate me for liking girls now#I’m so tired#and just a bit pissed off ngl#homophobia tw#Stop saying Yasammy was forced#They’re one of the most natural ships I’ve seen in media#Once again they wouldn’t care if one was a boy#I’m not even gonna watch the entire video on it#But I scrolled through the comments and… yeah…#Not what I wanted to see after my work shift#Jwcc#jwct#rant#yasammy#I’m going to pour my heart and soul into Yasammy week#I’m feeling spiteful rn#jurassic world camp cretaceous#not gonna send any hate his way but I just needed a place to vent#Klayton Fioriti#I no longer recommend his content…#Common L homophobe#Legit give me a reason as to why Yasammy is poorly written other than “they’re both girls#think of the kids watching this”#☝️🤓#No one is turning your kids gay Karen#Cry about it#womp womp#im so freakin heated rn
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I am too small to survive the world today. I ended up helping three guests simultaneously with no one to help me with processes I don’t know yet like picking up a bed in another state while I try to juggle three people and the phones all at once.
#vent#the other coworker with me wouldn’t leave her people to help or even pick up the fucking phone#so I also fielded two phone calls#and my manager who is supposed to share my shifts so I have help just left at 2#I feel violent about that#and it’s not the other lady’s fault because she shouldn’t have to be responsible for me#and I’m so tired my peripheral vision is just static shaking and I want to cry or bite someone
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when you’re having a bad day but then you remember it’s like this everyday
#i need to kms#i’m so tired of being treated like this#i’m so tired of living#hehe :3#like my post#trauma bonding#mentally unstable#tw depressing stuff#i wanna kms#i want to be okay#tw depressing thoughts#mental abuse#depression relapse#mentally tired#this account is a cry for help pls help me#i’m severely depressed#i’m so fucking depressed#manic depressive
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I know I always ask this. But do you know anyone who posts about transfemininity/transmisogyny but doesn’t shit on the word transandrophobia and trans men/mascs? I’ll even take a tme/tma user at this point. Just, please.
#I’m so tired. I’m so sad. do I really have to stay away from all serious discussions in the trans community#I don’t want that but I don’t want to be hurt like this again and again either. it made me cry today. I just need a break#transandrophobia#transmisogyny#intracommunity issues tag#mine
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Fun Fact of the day:
Carlos Sainz Jr still remains the only non Redbull driver to win two races (Singapore GP 2023 and Australian GP 2024) since Abu Dhabi GP 2022. 🥰 One of which he won after two weeks of surgery.
Thought I’d remind people of this glorious fact since someone cannot stop bringing it up and then only undermine him.
#carlos sainz the man that you are 😘#keep doing you boo and keep winning the races!#to fred and all the chirlies/lecfosis respectfully. get fucked.#carlos sainz#carlos sainz jr#i’m so fucking sick and tired of them discrediting my man#i wanted to write a long ass thing but then I thought nothing they say will change this fact and all can they do is cry about the sacrifice#singapore gp 2023#australian gp 2024
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:)
#i just want to scream#i want to scream and dig my nails into the dirt and cry#i am so tired#like i genuinely have forgotten what it’s like to be cared for#like i don’t think anyone will ever want me the way i want them and i just have to come to terms with that#because i just get proven time and time again that i am not of importance#my son is the only person that keeps me sane#because without me he’d be alone#and that thought makes me fucking sick#he is the only one screaming for me while i’m struggling to stay above water
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#this feels so small and pathetic and negative and i try so hard to push it down bc this kind of thinking is not who i want to be#but#sometimes the fic club author chats make me so jealous i want to cry#imagine writing something that makes that many people feel so strongly.#imagine that many people caring that much about what you have to say.#imagine being faced with such concrete evidence that you matter to people.#and i KNOW that feeling sad about it is silly and pointless and what i SHOULD do is go talk to humans and feel connected to people#bc just bc it’s on a smaller scale than the fic club chats doesn’t make it any less meaningful#but i’m tired and my brain is getting stuck on feeling small and inadequate
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OCD will literally remove your brain's ability to register when a task is Complete and then create 10,000 incredibly ridiculous and extremely specific rules for you to follow in every single aspect of your life (to keep you safe, of course, it tells you.) and then tells you that if you don’t do them Correctly and Completely every single time it tells you to (it tells you countless times per day) then the Entire Fucking World Will End and then it’ll do this fucked up thing where it makes you believe that nonsense.
and then people that don’t have it will make silly little jokes about being soooooo OCD and make t-shirts with fun little acronyms on them like Obsessive Coffee Disorder and tell you how much they like it when things are organized and clean, too!!
and then you’re supposed to just. laugh. like you haven’t been robbed of your entire being and potential and been taken over by a mind and life altering disability
#PSA: don’t fucking tell me to Seek Therapy or Try Medication. i am Aware. i have Tried. it isn’t that fucking simple#and this is my blog. i’ll complain about my illnesses all i want to. if you don’t like it i strongly encourage you to unfollow me#ocd#actually ocd#cw ocd#cw mental illness#mental health stuff#Seven.txt#Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is actually SO goddamn insidious. and only ppl that have lived with it will understand that#it’s a terrible terrible thing. to have something ruin your entire life under the guise of keeping you safe#it’s like being abused by your own mind and i don’t say that lightly#okay. stopped crying long enough to get this post out of my brain and onto my blog#gonna put Walking Disaster on loop and return to my Mental Illness Floor Time now#if no one hears from me for a little while it’s not personal i just. need to not be a Person right now. i’m so tired
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I’m gonna be out most of the day bc I’ll be helping my dad with a big shopping trip plus being out after, so I’m going to be super duper exhausted
I don’t do well in crowded or loud places in the slightest, I get woozy and tired and I feel miserable or like I’m gonna pass out, and if the shopping isn’t gonna make me wanna cry, the outing after will bc it’s gonna be packed with lots of noise and people
I don’t say this because I want to complain, I just wanna give a super quick warning that I might not be active tomorrow as well as today bc when I get exhausted, my mental health tends to decline as well ;-;
so- a bit of a warning that I may poof a bit (sorry! 😣)
#But yeah :)#hopefully I’ll be able to sleep it off tonight but since school is tomorrow might end up still tired and stressed (ᵕ—ᴗ—)#lol I’m trying not to complain or make a stink about it whilst still being informative—#Edit: uh so I don’t know what’s wrong with me this morning#But it’s already starting to go to crap unfortunately#Hgnhh I wanna talk but I keep telling myself it’s selfish to talk about how I feel#Idk I’m just messed up man#Feel like crap#eating earlier didn’t help it just made me feel worse#I don’t wanna go shopping or to the outing :(#But my dad said he needs help#And I don’t think I have a choice for the outing#And school tmrw :(#I don’t wanna do this I really font#I think I’m breaking down#Yeah I’m breaking down#<- that’s dramatic I’m sorry#Edit 2: if I trigger myself so badly that I have a really quick and strong breakdown will that make me fine for the rest of the day#Bc omg I have things I need to do! I can’t mope around and be dramatic all day!#I hate this! I don’t want it! Literally any other day would have been doable!#I can’t just ask my dad to stay home from the outing either because then that would entail me explaining why I don’t wanna go and I’d cry-#-in front of him and I don’t wanna cry in front of people#I hate this so much#i wish I could just poof into nonexistence#🌾#<- atp it’s a vent#Edit 3: I’m trying really hard ace but petting my dog isn’t working
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i feel like a part of me died when it was supposed to be flourishing
#idk what i did wrong#i’m so sad#i’m so sleepy#i’m so tired of being treated like this#i’m sleepy#midnight thoughts#honk shoo mimimimi#mentally unstable#trauma#i wanna kms#tw depressing stuff#i want to be okay#mental abuse#tw depressing thoughts#this account is a cry for help pls help me
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lmao woke up to shit news. great.
#「⑆」 aju nice !! ��️ kassim speaks 「⑆」#politics //#neg //#elections //#three away that’s great#i feel so sick and just#so hopeless man#i’m trying to not spiral but#it’s hard#i don’t want to get out of bed like ever again#i’m tired. tired and so depressed.#i can’t stop crying it’s just#so much
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noah kahan’s music feels like someone is taking a chisel and breaking open my chest without permission
#why am I crying in bed mourning the girl I was before cancer#i feel like I should have exhausted this mental spiral by now but alas.#I just wanted to go to sleep#I’m so tired#noah kahan#music#my posts
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE CROC 🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊 TO THE SON…. TO MY EVERYTHING…..
#shout out to Sebek for being a real one today#feliz cumpleaños mi amor que cumplas muchos más <3 y que yo los pueda celebrar contigo mi angelito#it’s late and I’m tired so goodbye#if the art looks like shit I’ll probably wake up tommorow and delete it and start crying#or maybe not maybe I’ll just leave it and pretend I never drew it#but yeah#I wanted to do soemthing for him#twisted wonderland#twst#twst art#twst fanart#sebek zigvolt#twst sebek#Z’s art💛?!#twst birthday
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