#and I was having like insane muscle cramps and pain

[shego1142]

I super recommend Colleen Christensen for more info on eating without food rules and eating intuitively!

Her videos are helping me unravel a lot of issues I have struggled with regarding food!

Just the simple act of not shaming yourself for craving and or eating specific foods can be so powerful and beneficial to your life/mental health (which in turn affects all of your health)

"craving a food means your body needs something that food can offer" now what the fuck does my body need with an ice cream

[bougiebutchbinch]

Im so so so so so sorry but I feel like this is the equivalent to a confession box and Im too prideful to face Father Wagner with my sins.

So. Father tripple B please accept my newest thought.

We all know that Logans happy trail isn't a trail but a whole road, a freeway if you will, from his head, down his neck, to his chest, down his abdomen, down between his legs, its all a straight shot, connected. Yeah? Okay?

Hey- Stay on point. Stop thinking about Logans inner thigh hair- Pay attention.

So Wade dosn't have any hair. "Peach fuzz and he can't even grow it." Ahh mfer. What he does have is stomach problems. Stomach problems that leads to stomach aches. As someone who lives with someone who has had stomach cancer, Wade would have intense pain and cramps when digesting glutinous foods such as thick pizza or pancakes. Glucose and Protien would be his best friends. Fuck milk. Fuck fiber, fuck gluten, fuck everything else on this food pyramid.

Weeellll.... I keep thinking about them cuddling on the couch, watching a random movie because his stomach hurts so badly, he's just- dead. A replica of the imfamous melting clock painting, a whining mess completely slumped against him, trying his best to ignore the peircing feeling deep in his gut as he tries his best to digest dinner.

Subconsiously, unprovoked, and not asked, Logan starts mindlessly rubbing his stomach, lazily massasing the muscle and gripping his loose thin skin. He pushes up and gropes the sides, almost oblivious to what he's doing because here's Wade, absolutely putty in his hands.

The way those big paws of his caress and knead at him feels too good, small pleased groans coming from him as Logan has his waist secure in one arm, the weight only adding to the secure feeling.

When he stops, Wade only puts his hand back, shifting to nuzzle his scruffy cheek and encouraging him to put pressure and press upwards with his full hand's girip until he eventually drifts off into a loud as fuck flu like snore that becomes music to Logan's ears.

This also works if ftm Wade because he loves when hes sitting on Logan's lap, reverse cowboy, soaking/cock warming him as Logan feels his own bulge inside of Wade's stomach. 👁👄👁

🤭Telling him how good it feels to be stuffed and Logan telling him how gorgeous he is with him in him like this. Sometimes, they just sit like this for a bit. Logan rubbing over him so much that it not only feels great, but every time he dozes off, logan bucks his hips up. "Shows not over, bub." He tells him, teasing him.

Wade's so warm. So happy. So.. chilled the fuck out, cuddly and for some reason, Logan rubbing his thighs and his stomach drives him just insane enough to obey his every command.

Oh, it's so not fair. Wade's so milky. So ready. So.. tired. And Wolvie won't fuck him OR let him go to sleep. But the thing is, he's drawing him out, trying to get him his max cozy so he will sleep awhile. Going as far as sharing a few blunts with him, blowing smoke in his face playfully and kising him with smoke in his mouth, letting him take big puffs until his body does numb with just how chilled out he is.

When he finally does let him sleep, Logan dosn't move, watching another shitty movie and habing a cigar, drinking some water, rubbing his stomach a bit softer now, whispering how cute his stupid ass was only to fuck him over of the arm of this couch and press him into it the moment he woke up, his viens twitching inside of that hot cunt like wade was sitting on a thrown... maybe he should get him a tiara.. dub him the best pussy in all the land or something corney like that..

Anyway. Goodnight, i'm tired. You're welcome for those thoughts.

PS, I learned what soaking was because of you, so this is your responsibility now. At least you get Thought-Support, though. Here. It's your weekend.

stares at this

stares at this

👁️🫦👁️

haha I'm normal. I'm normal. I'm n o r m a l :said with teeth gritted while clutching the arms of my chair:

in short - yes. YES. use that silly little clown as a cockwarmer as part of his healthcare plan.... he needs to relax thoroughly into subspace so he can get a good night's sleep - and what better way than for him to be slid down real gentle onto Wolvie's cock/strap like it's a throne and then have Logan whispering in his ear about what a good boy he is, while stroking his tumtum and working him soooooo gently into a haze of pleasure....

I want this for him so bad. It would fix him, I think ❤️

[sserpente]

Happy Ending

Synopsis: Out of all people you could have been assigned to for your lifeguard training, it had to be Billy Hargrove. You hate the guts out of his cocky and flirty demeanour and during your lessons, Billy has no mercy and it shows—muscle cramps torment your entire body after another intense training session, and (un)fortunately, Billy takes notice and offers to give you a massage. What could possibly go wrong?

A/N: Request from anon. You asked, I delivered! But hear me out… what if he gave RC a seductive massage beforehand? ;-)

Words: 2654 Warnings: pure, shameless, and filthy smut

“Ugh…” You groaned, rolling your shoulders. Your lifeguard training was killing you. You’d be as stiff as a piece of log by the time you’d made it through the final exam. That’s how you’d end up saving drowning folk. They’d just use you like a piece of wood.

But you were determined to push through, if anything to prove a point. Billy Hargrove aka the pain of your existence, was pushing you to your fucking limits. Out of all people you could have been assigned to… well, technically, it had been a fifty-fifty chance. But boy, would you have preferred Heather over him.

Billy was a cliché on two legs. A cocky boy from California with abs, a womanizer, and a classic jock—not to mention he preferred to resolve disputes with his fists. You knew what he stood for and what his intentions were with the women he wooed and you hated yourself for being insanely attracted to him. Nothing good would come out of giving in to his recurring flirting attempts. He knew exactly what he was doing—knew about the effect he had on women and he was bathing in it. His ego was too big for his head, that was for sure; and the fact that during your lifeguard lessons, Billy repeatedly had his hands all over your half-naked body didn’t exactly make things easier for you.

You groaned once more, attempting to stretch a little. You had absolutely no idea how you had survived the past hour.

“You okay?” Billy came walking into the changing rooms, still wearing nothing more than his red swimming trunks. He was chewing on gum, a sly smirk playing on his lips when he noticed your struggles. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes.

“Yeah… just tense. Muscles cramps.”

“I wasn’t going too… hard on you, was I?” He asked, playfulness playing in his voice. Damn him.

“No… I’m just not used to excessive workouts every day.” You realised your mistake, or rather, your poor word choice, the moment he started grinning.

“Oh, you’re not?”

You rolled your eyes. “Oh, stop it already. I hate you, remember?”

“I can help you, you know,” he said, unimpressed by my complaint and clearly still amused.

Raising your eyebrows, you glared him down suspiciously. “Oh yeah?”

Billy nodded. “I know a few… massage techniques.”

Your eyes widened and you took, no, jumped a step back.

“Absolutely not!” Billy’s hands slowly gliding all over your body, kneading away the knots? That… that sounded horrifying, it sounded… really hot. Which was why you could, under no circumstances, agree to it.

“Come on… Are you scared it could be… good?” He leaned in close and you cursed internally. Yes. Yes, that is exactly what I’m afraid of, for Fuck’s sake.

“No. I just… I don’t need you of all people to massage me, Billy. If I need to release some tension, I’ll go to a professional.” You winced, again slapping yourself mentally for your poor word choice. Billy chuckled.

“Follow me.”

You didn’t know why but you did. Billy led you to the lifeguard office in the back of the building. There wasn’t much in here—just some equipment, first aid kits, a surprisingly neat desk, and a low treatment table for injured pool guests.

“Lie down, stomach down.” He pointed at the treatment table. You hesitated. This was a bad idea. This was a really bad idea. So why the fuck did you move toward it and did as you were told?

“Is it just your shoulders and your back?” Billy went to grab something from the sink area—you could only assume it was some sort of massage oil. You doubted this was part of the equipment here, he must have brought it himself at some point.

“Yeah…” you croaked out.

You tensed, staring at the wall and avoiding his gaze at any cost when Billy slid the straps of your swimsuit off your shoulders and then proceeded to pour some massage oil into his hands. He rubbed them together, the soothing sound sending pleasant shivers up and down your spine, and then… you felt his hands on you.

Billy’s fingers were surprisingly soft and yet, they went to town firmly. A moan escaped your lips when he located the knots and began to massage them away.

“Told you I’m good,” he purred. You groaned by way of a response. Because the fucker was right. It felt amazing. He felt amazing. Billy knew exactly what he was doing—you didn’t even protest when, after a while, he pulled your swimsuit down further to reveal the entirety of your back. Up and down his hands went, exploring your bare skin and working away all of the tension his training had caused in the first place.

You could get used to this. You could fall asleep to this. Fall asleep and dream of Billy’s hands further down… no, stop! That’s exactly what he wants to achieve!

You were about to protest and opened your mouth when he travelled south with a start, testing the tense flesh on the back of your thighs. He tsked at you when his thumbs rolled over the knots and tense spots.

“I don’t think you were completely honest with me, doll.”

“I’m fine…”

“Flip over,” he suddenly said.

You ripped your eyes open, only realising now that you had closed them. You were naked from the waist up. If you turned around now, you’d give him a full front-row view of your tits. He wished, huh?

“I’m good, Billy.”

“Flip. Over,” he repeated. His voice was darker now, almost a little intimidating and… taunting in the most delicious and fuck, sexual way.

Grunting, you pulled your swimsuit back up just enough for it to cover your breasts and rolled on your back, meeting his blue eyes and staring daggers at him. He only chuckled.

“You’re really cute when you’re pretending to be angry.”

“I’m not pretending. I am angry.” Angry at how good it felt. Angry at how good he made you feel.

Billy smirked and poured some more oil into his palms. Next thing you knew, he was working your thighs so thoroughly that you tensed up in order not to wriggle around.

“Relax, babe…” Ha, easy for him to say. You had no doubt that he was enjoying this, perhaps even more than you were. Especially when his thumbs moved toward dangerous territory. Again and again, he grazed your inner thighs just a little too close to where you kept claiming he didn’t have an effect on you. A circumstance that was getting harder and harder to deny because fuck, you were growing wet. You could already feel the heat pooling between your legs, your breathing quickening.

And before you even knew it, your legs fell open further, inviting him in. It was over there and then. Fuck it. Fuck him, literally. You could only hope he had locked the door behind him. He won. He fucking won.

Your lips parted as Billy’s hands took the invitation. You bucked your hips the moment his thumb brushed directly over your still clothed clit, your nails digging into the treatment table, though this time, he didn’t tell you to relax. Instead, he did it again. And again. And again.

For a brief moment, he paused. And then, when you didn’t protest, he slowly pushed the thin stripe of fabric out of the way to reveal your glistening pussy to his greedy eyes. You were panting at this point, lost in the pleasure he was promising you without even speaking a word.

His fingers were slippery with the massage oil, his left thumb slowly circling your sensitive bundle of nerves. You gasped when you felt him push two fingers inside of you. He fucked you languidly, savouring every single second and you bucked your hips and arched your back, meeting his thrusts, silently begging for more.

You almost flinched upon hearing his seductive voice again. “I think that swimsuit needs to go, doll. It’s in the way… and we wouldn’t want to get massage oil all over it, now would we?”

Biting your lower lip, you hummed in agreement. All of a sudden, you did not mind him seeing you topless anymore at all. Quite on the contrary—it turned you on even more knowing that you’d be lying before him completely exposed, all his for the taking.

Billy did all the work for you. He removed his fingers from your pussy and chuckled when you whined at the loss. He then hooked his fingers into the hem of your swimsuit, pulling it all the way down—at an antagonisingly slow speed—to your ankles. You kicked them off, unable to hide your trembling. You couldn’t remember the last time you had been this aroused, except, perhaps, this one time you’d been unable to fall asleep and instead decided to masturbate to the thought of Billy fucking you. Shit, you were a goner. A complete and utter goner.

“Jesus, I knew you’d look even hotter without the swimsuit.”

You moaned in response, still unable to meet his gaze. You kept your eyes shut, a sigh of relief escaping your lips when his left hand cupped one of your breasts as if they’d been made for him. His other hand returned to your slick cunt. Sweet, wet noises echoed through the otherwise empty room as he fingerfucked you all the while the hand on your breast kept teasing your hardening nipple. By the time he moved on to the other breast, you were breathing heavily, a warm knot tightening in your stomach—fast.

And yet again, you had to admit… Billy knew exactly what he was doing, working you toward what already felt like the most mind-blowing orgasm of your life. His voice alone almost tipped you over the edge.

“Do you wanna come, babe?” he rasped.

“Please…” You barely recognised your own voice at this point. Begging Billy Hargrove for an orgasm… you’d most definitely lost your marbles.

But before you could slap yourself for your horny stupidity, you fell. Billy made you see stars, his fingers working your cunt like an instrument and hitting all the right keys. You clenched around his fingers, drenching them in your juices as your toes curled and you came hard.

He made sure help you ride it out before he released you, wet hands gliding all over your bare body. He massaged your breasts for a little while until you came back to your senses, your eyes still closed in pure and utter bliss. You didn’t protest when he tilted your head and stroked your neck.

For just a brief moment, he stopped touching you. Then, you felt something hard pressing against your parted lips. You didn’t care what you were, didn’t care that he was a player and would move on to the next girl after this. You didn’t even care that you were supposed to hate him. You wanted Billy and you wanted him now. His cock in your mouth seemed like a good place to start.

Moaning with relish, you closed your lips around his tip and sucked gently, testing the waters. You’d given a couple of blowjobs before but with him, you felt the odd need to impress with your skills. The results were almost immediate. Billy sucked in air audibly when you took him deeper, tongue darting forward to tease his slit. He pushed forward slightly—surprisingly patient, he let you take him inch by inch at your own pace until you rolled over to taste him properly.

You were done for the very moment you tasted a salty drop of precum on your tongue. Accompanied by another moan, you started bopping your head up and down, your left hand busying itself with his tight balls. You released him with a smacking noise, right hand covering what you could not take, and suckled on his tip like a popsicle before licking over the entire underside of his shaft.

“Fuck…” Billy threw his head back just when you opened your eyes. Pleased with his reaction, you repeated the motion and then took him in your mouth again, faster this time. He grabbed a fistful of your hair, thrusting forward now and slowly taking control. You let him. You let him fuck your mouth until your gag reflex hit and your eyes were watering and yet, when he pulled out of your mouth, leaving your lips swollen and tingling, you made a disappointed noise.

“Where?” was all he said. You bit your lower lip and nodded toward the desk. He didn’t need to elaborate on his question. You knew exactly what he meant and quite frankly, you were too far gone to back out now.

“Condom?” you breathed out as you slid off the treatment table and approached the desk naked, your limbs still trembling a little from your intense orgasm earlier.

“Yeah…” You figured he went to grab one from his bag stored away in the corner, always prepared for a quick fuck with a girl he’d wrapped around his finger for sport. As much as you attempted to force yourself to, you couldn’t complain about it. Not right now. Not when you were desperate for him to finally fuck you and get that remaining tension—the tension between the two of you—out of the way.

Billy didn’t disappoint. His blue eyes were dark with lust when he returned to you without his trunks and quite an impressive erection still glistening from your saliva under the thin latex of the condom. He flipped you around so your hips hit the edge of the desk and bent you forward, fingertips ghosting over your spine.

You shivered, your lips parting to beg him to put it in already when he knocked all air from your body. Billy sank himself into you with but one eager thrust, a groan escaping his lips in the process. He grabbed your hips tightly, holding you in place for him as he began to fuck you, withdrawing almost entirely only to plunge back in so forcefully your breathing became uneven.

Your hands reached for the opposite edge of the desk to hold on to something, your legs almost dangling in the air. On your tiptoes, you kept your arse lifted to meet his hungry strokes. Hunting his own pleasure now, you could all but let your eyes roll the back of your head. He was fucking you so good… Billy hit all the right spots inside you and his stamina… fuck, all of the other guys you had been with would have creamed their pants long before you could have brought your lips anywhere near their dick.

It felt good… it felt so good… oh god.

“You gonna come for me again, babe?”

You nodded and hummed in response, too dazed for a coherent answer, feeling yourself tightening around his hard cock right before you exploded a second time. Pleasure coursed through your body, filling you from head to toe.

Billy grunted. He fucked you through your climax relentlessly, stilled only moments later when his own release overwhelmed him and he emptied himself into the condom. Shit, for a second you wished you’d have asked him to fuck you raw just so you could feel him coating your walls with his seed. You whined when he withdrew. But there was always a next time. You’d make sure of it.

You were certain now that you didn’t actually hate Billy Hargrove. You had hated how much you had wanted him.

“I think I’ll need a… ‘massage’ after every training session from now on. Your lessons are so exhausting,” you said, panting.

Billy helped you turn around and stand up straight, naked bodies pressed against each other. He grinned, his lips ghosting over yours. “You know what, I think so too, doll.”

A/N: Check out my blog for more Imagines and my original novel(s)! ♥

[pygmi-says-hi]

any writing tips on drug withdrawal? specifically opioids?

yup!

opioids are narcotics (intense pain meds) and hiiiighly addictive. The type of opioid might effect the specific withdrawal as well as the severity of the usage before cutoff.

If the person is using narcotics for medical reasons - they are severely injured and they are taking low doses - it's likely they'll be weaned off. This means they take an increasingly smaller dose until eventually they stop taking it.

This minimizes psychological and physical symptoms to prevent further use and potential danger. There might be couple days of wooziness or irritability but likely they'll be ok.

if the narcotic use is recreational - they are taking it to get high or they don't need it anymore but still fell like they do - the withdrawal will more likely to be unscheduled and severe.

The issue with severe cutoffs of opioids

if the body has gone too long developing a dependence on the drug, it might go into shock after not having it. This could lead to a seizure or a cardiac event. (this is in really severe addictions, but it is a possibility).

timeline of symptoms: (regular is physical, bold is psychological)

You can look this up on samhsa but I'll make it quick.

immediate (24 hours after last dose)

fever, chills, nausea, dizziness, profuse sweating, hallucinations, insomnia, intense acute paranoia and anxiety

later (72 hours)

anxiety, irritability, paranoia, exhaustion, diarrhea, muscle cramps, body aches, dizziness, profuse sweating.

much later (first week and on)*** this greatly depends on the addiction severity, and psychological symptoms take precedence over physical if the addiction is severe.

cravings, insomnia, mood swings, onset of depression, suicidal ideation, irritability, weight changes, body aches, tremors, profuse sweating, cramps

Writing psychological symptoms accurately.

Psychological symptoms of drug withdrawal in general are kind of person-to-person. The character might had a specific reason they decided to start using. This reason will likely have a role in the way their mood swings/irritability/insomnia show up.

It's intense and lessens over time

The first month is like hella bad. Aggression, mood swings up to 100, probably some weight loss that might effect strength, paranoia. After that, if they receive treatment, the symptoms might lessen. The tricky thing about opioids is that the symptoms hang around longer than most addictions.

As in, the character will still have cravings for years (true also of nicotine and some others, but the severity of opioids is insane). Longterm symptoms are depression and cravings, and likely stick around for a while. The character might stay hypersensitive, or they'll succumb and start using again. Your choice, both have avenues of interest.

if the character starts using after a long time of not using

it gets harder to break the addiction every time they relapse. Statistically I think the chances drop something like 20% but I could be wrong, look it up. Either way, there's also a higher chance for overdose.

Because they had been taking a dose of (x) mg for a long time, their body adjusted and eventually needed more. However, their body after weaning off isn't able to handle that amount of narcotic right out of the gate. If they take a high dose immediately, it might shock the body (again) and they could overdose.

hope this helps!

[allsadnshit]

hello! feel free to disregard if this is overly personal, but a close friend is getting exploratory surgery for her endo in a few weeks and i am brainstorming different ways i can give tangible support. im planning to cook a few meals and put together a care package, and i was wondering if u had any recs for specific products/natural medicine/meals? your candidness abt your own journey has been really moving to me and i would appreciate some insight! again apologies if it crosses a line and feel free to delete <3

that's so sweet! endo surgery is different for everyone - and also really taxing because you don't know what's gonna happen till they are in there (like if a lots gonna be cut out, if they don't find anything, etc)

I think meals is a 10/10 to have ready. Cooking is hard and nourishing food after surgery is soooo important! bone broths, herbal teas, congee, and things easy to digest and get the system back in flow.

My essentials were: cramp cream from the brand getsomedays (I hate their social media marketing and I think they post a lot of dumb stuff, but the cramp cream is their best product and I haven't found anything that works better), a heating pad, a meal tray with a soft bottom for eating in bed, maybe comfy slippers, SOMEONE WASH AND DRY THEIR SHEETS BEFORE SURGERY SO THE BED FEELS CLEAN AND GOOD, aaaaaand if they are offered opioids...which they likely will be....I HIGHLY recommend NOT taking them and opting for the other pain meds that are less addictive.

also if they are suggested birth controls or IUD after finding endo and they arent already on them - PLEAAAASE let them know there are OTHER options that won't destroy their body and hormones...Chinese medicine, holistic medicine (brands like Elix healing or root + bones), physical therapy for tightness and muscle strain...like literally anything else!!!!!!! and if they decide to take the birth control please make sure they look into the user experiences on reddit. Mine gave me such crazy heart palpitations I thought I was going insane or dying!

GOOD LUCK <33333 tell them recovery is a slow burn not a race

[nocturnalrorobin]

LET ME HELP YOU

Cw: period sex, piv, masturbation, daddy kink

Just a little self-indulgent Shanks x fem! reader drabble

MINORS DNI

Shanks woke to you stirring and wincing next to him. "What's wrong, baby girl? Do you need anything?" He had an idea what was happening, and parts of him was getting excited if that was the case because you were always extremely horny when you had your menstruation. The one thing he didn't like, however, was seeing you in pain.

"Hhhhng Daddy." You pushed your head further into his chest as your hand moved quicker on your clit. He could feel you were getting close. He wrapped his big hand around your wrist and pulled it away. "Daddy noooo. I was so close." Your mind racing, all you can think about is having Shanks inside you.

"Baby girl, you know I want to be the one bringing you bliss and pleasure in every way possible." He took your fingers and licked them clean. "Why don't you let me help you with this? You will feel better in no time." He smirked cockily. You knew it would get messy. It always is with Shanks.

He pulled you in for a kiss as his right hand gingerly fondled your breast, his tongue pushing itself between your lips, a whine left you as you tasted some of yourself. He rolled your bud between his thumb and index finger and then switched to caressing it with his thumb. You needed friction between your legs. The throbbing was driving you insane. "Daddy, please..." You moaned into the kiss while you desperately tried to press your thighs together, but his knee was in the way.

"Please, what baby girl?" He traced his kiss over jaw to your ear and bit your earlobe.

"Let me cum Daddy please."

"Alright baby girl. Daddy will make you feel good, just let me get some towels." Shanks kissed your forehead and before he left to get the towels, he knelt between your legs and removed your tampon. He returned from the bathroom with two fluffy towels and placed them underneath you.

He quickly claimed your lips again and your tongues wrestled hungrily. His right hand squeezed your thigh first, then he ran his fingers through your wet folds making you arch your back. His thumb circled your throbbing clit as he pushed two of his thick fingers inside you. Your hips were shaking with each thrust of his fingers, as he added a third finger you whined at the stretch. He pushed and pulled his fingers in quicker succession, simultaneously his thumb pressed against your clit. You breath hitched and it didn't take long for your muscles to tense up as the first orgasm washed over you and you moaned and cried into the kiss. He guided you through your high and then removed his fingers. "Do you need more baby?" He was hoping the answer would be yes, but he would never say that out loud, he didn't mind taking care of himself.

"Yes Daddy. I want to feel you inside me."

Shanks lined himself up with your entrance and slowly pushed the fat tip of his cock inside. He tried to wait for you adjust, but you were impatient and your hips just kept moving. So he started pounding into you, your knees at your breast, Shanks loved that position, because he could fill you and breed you so nicely. You bit into his shoulder while he fucked you without mercy, leaving hickeys and bite marks on your neck and clavicle. "Baby girl, I'm close. You are gonna come with daddy?" As he finished saying that his movements became erratic and he angled his right hand so could stimulate your clit with his thumb. "Da-Daddy I'm gonna..." You lost yourself in the pleasure and Shanks painted your gummy walls white and collapsed on you. "Good girl. Taking me so well." Shanks praised you and gave you butterfly kisses, he lifted you up with his right arm to clean up in the bathroom and running a bath for both of you. Your cramps at least were better for now.

[larrythefloridaman]

NEED to know if you're with me on the "being home for 7yrs has given Larry issues with chronic pain" train

It's gotta be like having 7yrs of tensed muscles, in fact ik he's compared it to that. This just in Team Cones is now Team Chronic Pain because Larry? J0hn? You're telling me J0hn doesn't have robotic components that cramp with the organics sometimes, hell the anti-rejection alone is probably rough. Old Man yaoi? Chartreuse??? Anyway this is cpuk disability propaganda.

🎉 SO TRUE SO TRUE SO TRUE 🎉

With larry its like. Spirits fuck you up bad this is like Explicit Text folks using them uncharged for a couple of hours were like. Passing Out and shit. Like Ryan's even said the fact Larry was even standing just a few weeks after that is like. Insane in the context of what spirits can do to you. And on top of that constant shapeshifting is implied at multiple points to have a high energy cost. In the nccts Larry implies he expected he might die at the end of his mission. Theres been a few times after 20 that larry needed enough time to rest between matches for it to need mentioning, whereas other fighters' rest between matches is short and simple enough as to be invisible. My man did NOT make it out of All Of That able-bodied you can't convince me otherwise, not even with the shapeshifty healing factor

J0hn absolutely also has chronic pain and all sorts of weird medical issues surrounding the mess of his robotics, they done fucked up and replaced all his shit with robot parts j0hn describes as having been initially haphazardly hacked together, its a wonder hes even alive, his body is a junkyard of medical malpractice

Dadondorf is absolutely at the age where the human spine simply starts to give out on you no matter how healthy it's been the rest of your life those things arent designed to last and i cant imagine hamhel's much better off even not being human have you SEEN the way the ridley model is hunched, lol

And i dont even need to say anything about chartreuse, like, we Know

[ghastlybirdie]

Soulmate Paradox

(eventual) Ghost x Soap (maybe x reader?) wc: 2.9k warnings: angst, hurt/no comfort, character death, mentions of death, depictions of pain/anxiety/bodily harm (pls dm me if i should add more warnings)

You’ve heard of the soulmate paradox before, nearly every time any sort of hopeless romantic conversation came around it was brought up, the idea only ever taken as a myth or fear baiting to young souls. You certainly never took it seriously. The idea was beyond the laws of nature and logic, even the idea of bound soulmates were nearly laughed at by the younger generations if not for every well documented case of soulmates.

Ancient Grecians spoke about love in humans being formed by a body with two heads, four arms, and four legs; a shared form of true love to have with another, a perfect union. Until the Gods became irate with the power of humans and their seemingly limitless love, and tore the humans apart, tearing them in two.

It broke the humans, unable to live for long without their other half, their life essence draining slowly out of their wounds the longer they stayed apart, soon enough ceasing to eat or leave a single space and dying from a broken heart.

Throughout the eons humans were able to find their soulmates, an invisible red line- a lifeline almost- that lead to their soulmate, love finally finding a way to thrive in the despair. Many say that humans evolved to feel the emotions of their soulmate, feeling their sadness, their happiness, their pain. The pain was the strongest feeling, seeing as true elation, true happiness, couldn’t be felt until you were finally joined with your other, the pain a constant reminder of your emptiness.

Though there was a phenomenon that formed throughout the lifetimes of humans, one that was rare but indeed true to some and a myth to many. The phenomenon was named the Soulmate Paradox.

It is said that if one drifts too far from their soulmate, to far to feel their heartbeat in their chest, too far to feel their emotions, even too far to feel the greatest pains, and you will become- untethered.

You will feel immense emptiness, at least for a while, a hole where your bloodline once sat, and you will no longer feel. Not a thing. No sadness, yet no happiness. No pain, yet no relief. It was no longer a balance of life. It was grounded, a still object. A lone island sitting in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle. Lost and alone.

You used to not believe it, not for a long time. Until you were rushed to A&E for severe stomach pain. They thought it was appendicitis judging from the patterns but when all exams came back normal you were bewildered to be told suddenly, “Perhaps you are… close to your tether? Could your other be close?”

No, that was an insane idea. Grossly unlikely and wildly inane to even suggest, especially even after the horrific bouts of pain you’ve had in your one hospital stay alone. You refused to believe it. Until it happened again. And again. And again.

The pain were all on different levels but they came unexpectedly. Some were months apart while some happened in quick successions. At some point, you stopped going to A&E and dealt the pain. Most times it was only a nagging feeling, a twinge of a cramp or soreness, but it wasn’t entirely uncommon to feel like you’ve been shot in the thigh or shoulder every so often. It wasn’t pleasant.

Which is why you ran away. You walked from your place of living, your job, your entire lifestyle, all in the name to be free of the nagging, aching pain that you felt so frequently.

At first it was unbearable. It felt like a weight sat on your chest when you crossed over into another country. Like the string that connected to your heart was pulled at it’s maximum tension, threatening to yank itself from your body with a howling force of agony.

But soon enough, with gradual ease, the pain lessened and lessened over time. What was once an elephant sitting on your shoulders turned to sore muscled turned to a gentle breeze on your skin turned to nothing.

Yeah, you felt hollow now, like a strong gust of wind could knock you over; like you were missing something important in your life. But you weren’t in pain anymore. You weren’t suffering anymore. You no longer wept from the hour long sessions of misery when it felt like your lungs were filled with dirt or your nose was clogged with gunpowder. No, you felt none of that anymore. You could sacrifice the taste of your favorite meals or the warm feeling of the sun, if it meant living life no longer suffering for someone else’s rash decisions. Someone who you didn’t even know. That you’ll never know. And that was fine by you.

Though, there were nights where you wondered where this mystery person was. What could be causing all this pain, ones that left you on the floor in tears. Were they also feeling the same? Did they feel when you bumped your toe too hard on the corner of the couch? Did they feel that time where you sliced your palm open trying to cut an avocado? Did they feel the pain when you got your wisdom teeth removed? Perhaps they hated you as much as you hated them, despite never meeting. You wondered if they thought about your existence as much as you thought about theirs as you lay in your lonely room, cold in a bed far too big for you.

Even after all this time being away from home, having left it all behind, despite wanting to leave, you couldn’t close your ears to all the talk of love. You couldn’t cover your eyes to all the pairings of people looking to each other longingly, holding their half as close to their body as their limbs would allow, melting into each other into a perfect hum of peace and resolved longing. It made your hollowness ever the more laborious.

Even though you felt no pain there was a dull pang of want- need- sounding in the back of your mind. It left your heart beat a little less proudly, left your breath a little more shallow. It left you just a little more empty. And with each passing day, it became more and more difficult to ignore. At first it was easy to, then it wasn’t. And then it was downright torturous.

Perhaps you made a rash decision. Maybe you shouldn’t have left. Was all the pain that you endured truly as bad as being left as less of a person as you were now. Your new home wasn’t warm, it was bitter and void of personality. Even your food was just enough to feed the cells that functioned your body, your sense of taste long deprived of anything good. Not even seasonal candles could make up for the loss of color in your life, leaving you in some bleak dystopian hole that you called your apartment.

It was agonizing. It was… Painful. Far worse than what you endured before. At least then, the world was full of thought and wonder. Now it was just… Grey.

So you decide to go back. It couldn’t hurt. Not like it did now. All the silly little jokes of myths and soulmates were nothing more than immature ramblings of your younger self, blind to the world and the joy that a soulmate could bring. To think that you were so close to your soulmate as to even feel what they felt, all the way down to their sore muscles and aching bones. You miss it, even from the previous pain, you missed it so so much. It made you feel foolish. You were so close and your fear of whatever this soulmate- your other half- was made you flee. And now your life was a colorless book full of dust and yellowed with forgotten age.

So you decide to go back. Back home. Back close enough to where you can feel your heart pang again with an ache that was familiar and missed. You wanted to feel the tether revive on your heart again.

You wanted to feel your soulmate. Despite it all, you wanted it. Now, more than ever, you needed it. You need them, whoever they may be. Perhaps that’s why soulmates are so strong, why they call it a lifeline. Your life and the world around you depends on it, and no matter how hard you try, you can’t avoid it.

You gather and pack your belongings, you eat the last of your flavorless food, and you go. You go back to your life where you can taste food, see colored lights, feel warmth again. And you hope, with need filling your heart for the first time in… forever, that you will finally… finally meet your soulmate.

Your other.

Your love of your life.

Ghost woke up in a violent, cold sweat. His body shaking so harshly, so fiercely that the other soldiers in the safehouse thought he went into a seizure, turning him over to his side with great resistance of the masked lieutenant.

He sputtered gibberish as chills and fire racked through his body simultaneously, his tongue mashed between his teeth and throat closing when air wouldn’t fill into his lungs. From the outside it did look like a seizure, it acted like one, but to Ghost it felt like something just tore out of his chest, a gouging hole where his heart should be. It was like a pain he’s never felt before. It was new, it was unfamiliar, and it was terrifying.

He’s felt pain before. A bullet would in the leg or shoulder, a million bruises left on his body, a lifetime worth of scars to share to no one. But this? It was ungodly, otherworldly. And it terrified him when the feeling reach a crescendo, one that he thought he’d die from, until it was just… Nothing.

Ghost felt an unimaginable pain that one could never never forget. And now he simply felt nothing.

He chose his call sign for the fear he could strike in a person. For the life he lived and crawled out of. But now, now more than ever, it truly felt like one. Like a ghost. And it gave him fear.

He blinked there on the floor of the safehouse, staring at a concrete ceiling for what seems like forever. And he blinked again, this time much longer, until he was staring at the ceiling panels of some white room, the scents around him sterile and clean yet stuffy.

The medbay.

Instinctively, like the answers would be there, Ghost reached for his chest, hand landing over his heart, fingers feeling the telemetry electrode stickers stuck across his chest. Feeling for where the hole would be. The one he knew was there.

His thoughts were interrupted when chatter filled the room, two nurses coming in with conversation shared between them. Ghost picked up very little, focused on trying to solve the confusion he held inside as he tried to solve the puzzle.

He hasn’t felt a ping of wanting or need for so long, the distant feeling of a tether having long gone slack. His sense of taste and feelings were never quite the same since then, but MREs were hardly edible let alone tasteful, and he knew every groove of his gun to know where to place his hands the moment he held it, the lack of fine tune feelings were hardly a concern of his. So the slack left in his heart- in his soul- was nothing more than the left over of his humane soul.

And now it’s come back to finally give back on all the lost time. But this felt different. This felt… final.

He was left untethered. And now there was a leak in his very being, slowly draining him. The pain he felt was nothing more than the last attempt to keep even a weak connection to his other. But it was no use. They were gone and he was left alone, his open wound now bleeding with no tourniquet, left to fester and writhe into nothing.

He thought it was foolish, amusing the rumors and legends of soulmates, of your other half. But as he rested in the medbay bed, staring at the sterile ceiling, he couldn’t ignore the cold feeling filling into the marrow of his bones, flowing into his bloodstream, a wave of nothingness filling into every crack and crevice of his body and soul.

Ghost has felt nothing before. Just earlier that day he felt very little in his mind and heart. But this was far different. This felt like being detached from a space shuttle and left to drift in space, spinning in a limitless direction, never knowing when your oxygen would deplete and the vacuum of space punctured through your suit and froze your skin and boiled your blood. Drifting. Waiting. A demise surely imminent.

Ghost was never afraid of nothing before, how could you be when you never knew what nothing truly was. It was unfathomable. Unobtainable.

Yet here he was, in the unfathomable and unobtainable. Never knowing how he truly got here.

Never knowing that the nurses that soon tended to him held the simple answer, one that would never be connected back to him and his other. His soulmate.

You died. Over the Atlantic ocean, almost on your way home. Almost there to where you belonged. Until an engine failure on the plane turned dire, plummeting you and every passenger on board to your death.

You wished you could tell someone. Anyone. What happened to you; where you were going, why… to who. But now you stand in some misty haze, trying to find a break in the fog of confusion, trying to find footing in the void filled sea encasing your thoughts.

It’d take you a while. You didn’t understand where you were, no less who you were looking at. A rugged man was all you could see in the haze, body illuminated by dingy yellow lights, black makeup shrouding his eyes being the only features you could make out.

You’ve never seen a person like this in your entire life, especially not someone so large and rough, but by the way your eyes watered but never cried, and your rythumless heart aching painfully, you helplessly reached out to the man before you, mind endlessly racing to try and finally piece together that he was the one you were seeking for such a bittersweet, short time. The torn and frayed tethered attached to either of you evidence of your once connection, now lost… Forever.

You died and now you stand stuck by some force to the person you sought after, even for the short time that you did, your hand phasing through his person whenever you tried to reach for him. A ghost to hover and haunt, still stuck to your soulmate but never reaching.

You never believed in the Soulmate Paradox, there were no evidence of it ever being a thing, but some swore it was true.

That it was true that when one soulmate is too far, too far away to feel their other, and dies, the living soulmate will continue to live though only in body. The living other will slowly start to wither and fade, their spirit slowly dying as they cannot live without their other half- their soulmate.

And so the deceased soulmate will live as a guardian, a protector of their other half’s soul. It won’t stop the slow demise of their other’s soul, but it will slow it down. Just enough for the guardian to find another, another soul to fill in the gap, and make the living soulmate whole again, and in turn finally rest in peace.

But if a guardian did not fulfill their duty? If they did not find another to fill the hole left of their living soulmate? It was greatly assumed that the living soulmate will die from a broken heart, unable to fill the hole or find a new tether. And the guardian? The one who failed their bonded love? Their soul would be gone, no longer connected to their beloved other, no longer held down by the sheer will of love. And they will be unable to have a promised afterlife with their soulmate, lost to time, to the ethos, to the void. Forever and evermore.

You didn’t know when that would happen, when your clock will run out for you- for your other- but judging by the long time spent away from your soulmate and the poor condition of your lifeline tethers even while you were alive- neither of you had much time left.

Even though you knew so little of this man, who rested with a solemn expression permanently on his face, you couldn’t bear to think leaving this man- your soulmate- to such a fate. You tried so hard to reach him and was stopped by the cruel hands of fate, unable to do nothing more than stare at his form. But here you were now, next to him, and while your circumstances were changed, the need in your heart, in your soul, was the same.

To be with your soulmate, in some way. In any way. That much, in your heart of hearts, was direly true.

a/n: Im sorry, I rushed the end, but i was like a demon being exorcised writing this omg i thought about it in the shower and shared it in the cod server and now here it is

[black-is-iconic]

Midnight Lovers

Chapter Two : Cramps And Cuddles

You were nestled in the lap of Urogi as his talon like hands rested on your hips and his wings encased you in a cocoon of feathery warmth that comforted and held you close in his strong embrace.

His chest rose and fell slowly as he nuzzled your cheek, deep velvety purrs rumbled from deep within his chest as you smiled happily up at him; he's so cute.

And quite useful, vibrating his vocal cords at such a frequency that it soothed the cramps and tension lingering in your lower abdomen, a content sigh falling from your lips as you snuggle closer to his warmth.

His wing caressed your cheeks gently as his talons traced your spine slowly drawing circles over your skin as he continued to purr in his throat, "feeling better dragonfly?" He asked his lips moving against your temple as his arms tightened almost imperceptibly around you, his voice vibrated through your bones and you felt your whole body tingle with delight.

You nodded smiling brightly, "much much better" you agreed and he hummed his approval "and you don't have a headache anymore too?" His hands massaged the remaining tension plaguing your muscles as your body relaxed further against him, your smile broadened even wider.

"Nope" you answered and he smirked, his fingers skimming down the bare expanse of your back as they travelled upwards. You were completely entranced by the soft strokes of his fingers, his touch was gentle and tender.

Even though his talons are sharp enough to shred diamonds like butter, his touch was gentle and caring, "that's good dragonfly" he murmured running his palm leisurely along the curve of your waist, his thumb caressing your hip bone affectionately your cheeks burned with a sudden surge of arousal.

Shivers dancing up your spine as you watch his beautiful golden irises like molten honey shrink into predatory slits, "maybe I can assist you further in your…" his eyes danced down your figure before landing between your thighs.

Causing you to involuntarily tremble under the intense gaze "…condition" he finished with a heavy swallow as his talon like hands stroked your hips causing the butterflies in your stomach to riot, "may I?"

He murmured lost in a lustful daze as he spread your thighs, licking his lips as he spotted the red tinted panties clinging to your cunt. Your. lips parted to speak, but in one swift motion your shredded panties collapsed to the floor as you were hoisted on his broad shoulders and his tongue plunged straight into your slick folds.

Catching every drop of crimson like a hungry animal savoring the meal presented before him, consuming you with a fervent hunger fueling each stroke of his tongue.

A slew of moans spilled from you lips as his tongue thrust into you repeatedly driving you insane with it's swift circular motion that brought a wave of climax rushing towards you. Your hands desperately grasped his luscious ebony mane as he laved his tongue into your folds as pulling your throbbing clit into his mouth.

Another moan fell from your lips accompanied by a sharp intake of breath, it was so disgusting and yet….so arousing. He devoured you greedily as you bucked your hips downwards his eager awaiting mouth, eliciting a loud groan of delight from him as he pulled his tongue out and sucked the moisture off it.

"You taste wonderful dragonfly! Like a sweet wine! A feast!" He exclaimed in delight as repositioned you in his arms, feathers rustling against your skin as he shredded your kimono with his talons ripping apart the delicate material exposing your perky and hardening nipples.

hHe held the large flesh mounds in his palms like they were delicate china, kissing them reverently before rolling them in his taloned digits.

You winced slightly at their tenderness and the little ache of pain every time he allowed your breast to fall out of his grasp. He began to purr contently, a warm breath fanning over your naked breast as he licked at the tip, sucking lightly as he circled your erect nipple with his tongue

. His face pressed deep into the split of your breast nuzzling them and letting out a deep sigh of content as more soothing purrs rippled through him.

His honey colored irises locking with your own, another moan tore from your throat as he released your breast with a wet pop admiring their swollen appearance.

Your hands drifted up and down his curly mane, occasionally giving light pulls which he mostly ignored….until your slender fingers wrapped around his horns and give a nice little tug.

Whoo boy the sound that came from this man….like a sweet symphony of pure ecstasy, his eyes rolled in the back off his head and his arms spasmed around you nearly dropping you as he seemed to become overcome with euphoria. A slew of broken needy whines escaping his lips. "F-fuck dragonyfly….n-not the horns" he pleaded holding you so tightly against his his body that you could feel the pulsing heat of his cock pressing insistently against your thigh, the warmth giving rise to goosebumps across your skin.

He leaned into the crook of your neck breathing heavily, so you gave his horns another tug and he nearly keeled over as he whimpered and shuddered with pleasure. Grabbing your thighs and pulling you painfully close as hips rutted against yours grinding his girth against you as small tremors wracked his body .

"fuuuck…." his hands gripped at your ass pulling you tighter to him as his hips jerked faster rubbing against your pussy, you gasped his name with an uncontrollable squeal. His breathing had quickened drastically, his clawed fingertips digging into your hips as your legs automatically wrapped tightly around his hips as he ruts into you with a needy grunt sinking his teeth into the flesh of your shoulder and drawing blood, "U-urogi" you panted clutching his hair and moaning.

"S-sorry s-sorry" he groaned trying to slow down his pace but his control has slipped completely as he thrust into the heavenly feeling of your plush thighs, in the back of his mind he knew the other clones would chew him out for this later but he didn't care all he wanted was to bury himself deep inside you and release all the tension that's been building up inside him for weeks.

But this would have to do for now, with a few more thrusts he felt that familiar burn and tightness build in his groin, he bit harder into your neck as his jaw clenched and his cock pulsated, releasing a hot shower of cum in his hakama pants.

As the warmth from his release floods your thighs you could feel his shuddering breaths against your skin, his entire body shook as he purred in satisfaction, "what's so funny?" You mused noting his charismatic smiled turn smug, he licked his lips and laughed peeking over his shoulder "let's just say me and my brothers are connected in more ways than one an-" suddenly there there was a loud banging on his room door…."hehe took'em long enough" he hummas you swallowed nervously.

[disabledweedreviews]

MY DISABLED REVIEW OF: Tyson 2.0 Mike Bites Delta-8 Gummies | 500mg Per Bag/25mg Per Piece

Hi everyone! This is my first review, so I'm still ironing out the kinks of how I want these to look. There's an image description attached to the image, though if unavailable to see, it reads "A bright orange resealable bag of Mike Tyson edibles is pictured. There is a large black and white illustration of an ear, with a shape at the top of the cartilage of a bite mark taken out of the ear. The large text reads "TYSON. MIKE BITES. (Δ8) (THC)" while the small text on the bottom reads "25mg Delta 8 Hemp Derived THC per gummy." The flavor reads as "SOUR APPLE PUNCH."

First of all. Props to Mike Tyson for biting off Holyfield's ear in the 90s in an insane move that, at first, everybody was mad about because it meant the match ended super early and they wanted their money back for the full match. Especially pay-per-view watchers. But then years later everybody makes jokes about it so now it's like. His brand for weedibles. Imagine you're Holyfield and your ear is bitten off, and the dude who bit off your ear has it as his logo for ear shaped edibles 20 yrs later. Objectively funny. Now to get into the review!

TASTE: ★★☆☆☆ (2/5)

They taste like. Ehhhhh. Ok. Fine but Kinda Bad. The best flavor imo is the one pictured, Sour Apple Punch. The other flavors are Watermelon and Black Eye Cherry. They both taste like Shit and have effects that actually make me feel worse. They are all REALLY slimy though, not just in texture but like. they have so much SLIME GOOP everywhere in the bag like every time I get these. So for the autism slime texture haters, this one is already NOT for you. Autism slime texture lovers however? Perfect. Though be warned, it is REALLY sticky. Stickier than most edibles. Sticky as in you can throw it at a wall and it'd stay there all day. It gets everywhere, so if you don't want to wash your hands of a goop mess after reaching in the bag, use a kitchen utensil👍

FOR PAIN: ★★★☆☆ (3/5)

OVERALL BODY EFFECTS: ★★★☆☆ (3.5/5)

Overall decent. Breakdowns below.

Helps the pain a pretty good chunk, though if the pain is pretty intense then it merely softens everything. The body relaxation will make you feel all loosey-goosey like a wet noodle, except not unpleasant. Works really well for my all around back pain. and my muscle cramps. Doesn't work too well, however, for head pain (ironically enough) or for other areas of the body. So migraine havers should probably look elsewhere.

FOR SLEEP: ★★☆☆☆ (2.5/5)

These will knock your ass out if you take more than one, however. You do need to take more than one for sleep, depending on your tolerance. The sleep is pretty nice, very decent on these. Though I don't recommend falling asleep high to the Mike Bites because they give me weird dreams. My roommates don't get this, however. So it could be a me only thing...

FOR APPETITE: ★★★★☆ (4/5)

Works decently well, especially in a pinch! My appetite is the first thing to start working on these, then come the sillies, and then the pain relief. I usually have to smoke a few hits of a dab cart to Really get my stomach full hands on deck for appetite, though it certainly does most of the work.

HIGH: ★★★☆☆ (3/5)

The high is decently pleasant, almost like a really soft buzzing that eventually replaces the pain. I get pretty silly on these, it's a Silly Weedible. Will get me to laugh at the worst low hanging fruit that other edibles DO NOT do to me. It's a pretty even combination of head high and body high, though I usually feel the body high more on these. Great for winding down before bed, as the high does not last too long, which is honestly my biggest complaint about the high for these. Like I know they're 25mg a piece, but they're not as long lasting as compared to others, such as the Urb 25mg delta-8 edibles. Other complaint is afterwards they leave me feeling foggier brained than most other brands of edibles.

PRICE: ★★★★★ (5/5)

They usually go anywhere from $20-30 USD. Can be found at convenience stores, dispos, or online. Here's The Link To Buy Them From My Favorite WebbedSite and they're on sale at the time of writing this, March 28th, 2024. Also I am Not Sponsored.

OVERALL RATING AND SUMMARY: ★★★☆☆ (3.5/5)

NOW TIME FOR A POLL!

Ultimately, I like them. They're not too expensive and work pretty well for their price, if you find them on the cheaper side of the pricetag scale. Not the fanciest by far, though they do the job nicely! I would recommend them if you mostly need the appetite and/or silly boost.

Feel free to reply with any anecdotes in the reblogs or replies of your experience with these if you're also disabled! Specific questions? Reblog or reply as well. Or send me an ask or DM!

[lazypanartist]

Hi hi hi!! Im back with your blind bag. Good ol angst and a little found family fluff. 💛💛

Fun fact: this is based on something I deal with! So uh this is a bit Personal i think but also like... I have feelings abt this stuff.

Anyways, I hope you enjoy!! Also im a big fan of Leo having medic knowledge, sooooo...💅 enjoy

-📝 Nonnie

----

Your chest hurt.

Shuddering, ragged breaths rattled through your body in shallow gasps and heaving pants. You felt ill, the tacky feeling of nausea coating your mouth as a precursor to your need to expel. You were dizzy, so very, very dizzy. Your trembling fingers reached to a water bottle on the table nearby, but ultimately you fumbled and sent the whole thing clattering to the cement floor.

It hurt.

Your lungs ached.

You fought tooth and nail to not cry out, stifling your pained wails by biting into the borrowed quilt. You don't think you could live down the fear and concern your friends would have.

Were you having a heart attack?! No, right? That's ridiculous. It felt that way was this it was this the end no it couldn't be that's insane but stars above this was killing you- Besides, it didn't feel like your heart, it was more like…under your ribs? Lungs maybe, or your diaphragm. Maybe try square breathing? Yeah…Yeah square breathing, that would help steady it, right? In for four, hold four, out for four, hold four, rinse and repeat! You shouldn't be curled up, you needed to stretch out or something, that should…help?? Help not let the muscles bunch and cramp from the spasms?? That's what runners do.

It didn't help.

God, it hurt, and you were losing strength…

A gasp came from nearby, and through your watering eyes, you could see the shape of one of your reptile friends. Vaguely, you could see Red, and it was much too big to be Leo. Quickly, the frame hurried over to you.

"R-Ra-ahph..?"

"Right here, right here, it's okay. It'll be okay, yeah? Do you know what's wrong, or how I can help?"

When you shook your head, voice barely a breathy whisper of 'no's, Raph bellowed loudly, calling for S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N to gather everyone available and alert them there was a medical emergency. A few flashes of purple swirled in your spinning vision and Raphael yelped and supported your head when your eyes rolled back and your eyelids fluttered briefly as you almost fainted. Soon, a cacophony of voices blossomed around you, fear and worry laced in words that flew past too quickly for you to catch.

"Back up, make room! Raph, sit them up and lean their back against your pastron. Sit behind em if that's easier." Leo fell to his knees in front of you as Don stuck to your left, monitoring his wristbrace as his drone son took your vitals. "Alright, symptoms so far?"

"Ch-che-hEST pain, can't breath, can't get oxygen, d-dizzy…dizzy spells and fat-t-t-tigue…"

"Almost fainted twice while I held em, seem a bit delirious too."

"Gotcha. Don, how are those vitals?"

"Elevated pulse, oxygen looks fine though, their breathing is kinda futzing those numbers though."

The leader looked over to the youngest. "Go get your old inhaler. I don't know if it will work, but I want to try all options."

You vaguely heard Mikey run off to go fetch what was requested, returning not long after and even helping you use the device since you were so weak that you couldn't operate it. 

It didn't help.

Your head lolled back again and Raph helped support your head. "S…Sick…feel like I'm gonna…throw up…So hot, h-hah-hot…"

Dontello turned his back but scooted a trash can closer. You hoped you wouldn't need it. Meanwhile, he kept prattling your vitals off to his twin.

The room grew colder, and you heard padded, soft footsteps and scrabbling claws as Splinter hurried over himself, taking one of your hands in his.

"You mentioned pain, explain it. Describe how it feels. Don, check for a floating rib or fractured sternum."

How this felt? Well…"Like…L-like my r-ribs are cru-cRUShing-hah, my l-lungs. Like a b…bear trap? But…squeezing, crushing, not p…punctur-r-re…"

You heard several hisses of sympathy and whispers of apologies. Behind you, Raphael gingerly squeezed you, mumbling his concerns.

Your eyelids shuttered and began closing, exhausted from how long this had been happening, and you felt a pinch to your cheek. Blearily, your eyes opened and you pitifully glared at the old rat. "I'm afraid you need to stay awake until this passes, my child."

" 'm s…so tired…I just..I jus' wanna sleep.."

Frustrated tears puddled and overflowed from your eyes, and gently, Splinter wiped them away. 

"H-hurts…!"

"I know, and you're doing so, so well. I am so proud of how well you have been fighting."

By now, Leo moved away, giving you space as he leaned over and murmured something to Donatello. The twin frowned at whatever was said, but nodded. Leonardo then whispered to Mikey, who had a grim, serious expression before nodding and leaving.

"Seems like you know what's up." Grumbled Red, lightly stroking your head. "Care to share with the class? What can we do to fix it?"

Leonardo shook his head. "Best to just let it run its course at this rate. Which…sucks, but we caught it late."

After what felt like hours, but could have been merely minutes, you felt a strange prickling static as the pain began slowly oozing out of your chest and ebbing away. Soon, you were left a sweating, shivering, and sniffling mess, but you could breathe once more without issue and felt…Fine. Utterly emotionally drained and exhausted, but fine.

"There we are…" murmured the old rat who soothed your tears, gently patting your shoulder. Raph began to slowly rumble a sort of purr, humming softly as he allowed you to practically melt against him. Donatello sat nearby, not touching, but you saw him take a bottle of painkillers and plucked up your water bottle and helping you take what he gave you.

Finally, when you felt like your voice was going to be fine, you looked at Leo and asked the million dollar question: "What…was that?"

"That, my dear, was a panic attack."

You frowned at that and shook your head. "...No, no that wasn't. I've had anxiety attacks and they never hit that sudden or-"

"Nah-ah! Not an Anxiety Attack, a Panic Attack." Donatello corrected, tutting you. You gave a confused, somewhat loopy glare as Splinter held your hand. "A quick way to explain it is to think of an Anxiety attack as the slow, long build up and gradual dissipate of much more mild symptoms, so it's not 'as bad', quote unquote, but sticks around and lingers while a panic attack is quick, hard hitting with more severe symptoms but leaves much sooner.

"Moreover, a panic attack and an anxiety attack have drastically different symptoms. Anxiety will harbor more restlessness, agitation, fatigue and general anxiety, whereas a panic attack can have more intense or physical effects such as pain, nausea, fear and dread, dizziness, headaches and migraines, disassociation, heat and cold spikes, and difficulty breathing. Some people even feel like they're dying when having one."

You blinked at that, shocked cold. No way, all that? For a little panic??

Your face went red and you felt humiliation bubble in your stomach, but Leonardo threw an arm on your shoulder and knocked lightly on your head. "Here's the best part: sometimes; they don't even have a trigger. You body just flips its lid and then remembers its fine. Trust me, I've had a few after the Invasion, it sucks."

Your eyes watered a bit and you ducked your head before leaning more into Raph. "...Thank you. Thank you all, I'm s..so-ohry-rry..."

"Hey, no problem! Raph's here for you, and so is everyone else."

"You know it!"

"Not scaring us off that easy."

"If you ever need anything, my child, I will always lend an ear and paw."

"I'm here for you too!" You all looked up as Angelo hustled back in, a few objects and what looked like some slides in hand. He was now in a stately sweater and some glasses. "Well, I, Mikey, as well as Doctor Feelings. Leo told me what was happening, and I got everything I could to help you out! Information, techniques that might help, though talking to a doctor and getting medication might be a good first step. However, I know talking to a doctor is always stressful and scary for you, so I figured we could try some roleplay and scripting to prepare you for your visit- ah, but you look awfully tired, maybe this should wait until tomorrow…-"

The box turtle stiffened when tears bubbled up in your eyes again, and the family of mutants were all quick to soothe you with kind words and affirmations. You fought desperately to stay awake, but it was a losing battle. Ultimately, the whole family decided to sleep in the projector room for the night. Raphael held you to his plastron, with the slider and the softshell on either side. Angelo was partially draped over your legs, head on your belly, and Splinter slept in his recliner, watching over you all until he, too, couldn't fight sleep, not when S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N draped his favourite cozy throw blanket over his shoulders before going to a close by charge port.

Yeah. Tomorrow.

Oh, wow.. I don't think I've ever seen thy symptoms shown this realistically before. Obviously this is something incredibly personal to you.. thank you for writing this!

As always, the characters are written INCREDIBLY well, and you give us realistic situations with realistic reactions from the characters. 💙

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

Yeah my body is falling apart. I just tried to pull my blankets over myself and threw out my shoulder while moving them an inch at most. And, every single step I took tonight caused me to twist my right ankle. My right knee is cramping as it's been doing for many hours now, and I haven't even bent it for 2 hours now, nor have I put any weight on it at all, it's just been resting all night. This pain is insane and literally never leaves me regardless of what I do. I'm in minimal pain right now, all things considered, and the more I rest my body the more likely the pain will stay minimal without progressing. But if I continue to stand, walk, move lots, I'll aggravate my aching bones and muscles beyond what I can handle, and be in even worse pain. On a scale of 1-10 my average is about 5-6. On my worst days, which have been happening more frequently, I'm at around 9-10. I have at least one bad day a week, usually more than that. But when resting my body, it goes down to around 4. That's my best state of being. Some severe pain, but it's usually not enough to stop me from sleeping, eating, etc. Keyword there is usually. I struggle. And my father denying my struggle is denying my very existence. Invalidating my pain is invalidating my struggle. And denying my existence means be has no right to be a father. When I someday move out of here, I'll cut all contact with him, block his accounts and number, and never speak to him again. Why should I care about someone who doesn't give two shits about me? Who wouldn't even save me if my life depended on it, only if his own depended on saving me?? Who only cares about being presentable and looking successful via the facade of himself and his family, without caring how it makes his family feel??? Yeah. He doesn't deserve to be in my life. He wasn't even there when I nearly died on the doctor's table years ago, he wasn't there for my surgery, he wasn't there to take me to the hospital when after that surgery I got a serious infection that reached my kidneys. My mom was there for all of that. She took time off work, called out, and drove me everywhere, just to make sure I lived, looked after me and cared about me, helped me pay for my psychiatrist without my father knowing, and kept my therapy under the table as well for as long as she could. My mom is a saint. I'll always love her. Keep her in my life. And I wish I could say that about my father, but I know I never can nor will.

[alacarhelsng]

A New Lease on Life

His hands felt like a collection of cramping muscles by the time he stepped away from the keyboard. The pain radiating up his arm as he did his best to massage the aching muscles did absolutely nothing to help his rising temper. Why was he even helping this piss-poor collection of mid and high-bloods. It would have been easier to watch the fallout and make deals with the carrion feeders that would inevitably show up afterwards. Of course then he wouldn't have the best life broker in his pocket, which he was willing to do almost anything for. Even risk the chance of the sun rising while he traveled just so he can be there before the "not a rainbow drinker" returned. Today was already off to a wonderful start.

6 hours later and he found himself sitting against a stone wall, hiding from the blistering death of the sun in shade that was hardly habitable. Harvey had come to check on him when he first arrived, having sprinted a good distance to avoid incineration and left a heaving panting mess because of it. He was offered something cool to drink and never addressed again which was more than fine by Alucar, even if all it left him to talk to was a dead girl. The body of said girl being held somewhere nearby presumably but her wrecked carcass was of little concern to him. What peaked his interest was the spirit that was gliding about leaving behind threads of ethereal force that he could and would pull on when the time came. To most people she would register as maybe a draft at most. Some would be able to see her as the wraith she was but he was different. What he saw was her, wraith and the threads of life that held her in this world. Threads of many colors clung to her and drifted away into ephemeral wisps of glitter. Most of the strands that clung to her where pitch and scarlet leaving him to believe that bringing her back would be a terrible mistake. Though on the off chance that he was making an unfair assumption....

"You know, your quads are going through a lot for you. They are even willing to make a deal with the devil all for your sake, isn't that heartwarming?" The way she focused on him was somewhat surprising, it was almost as if she had knew he could see her this whole time.

"I only have one quad and he's not here. What are you talking about, deal with the devil? What are you doing?"

"OH? Vladir is a drunken mess, Harvey is barely keeping up with niceties and Bea is killing someone just for you. I must have made an assumption."

"Oh Vladdy...Poor man's lost without me. Killing for me isn't new, though it's new that it'd be Harv's moirail. Why?"

"That has to do with the first question you asked, you see they made a deal with the Devil. And I am that devil."

"Devil this, devil that. You've got a big ego don't you, little man?"

"When you come from nothing and Ego is a lot to have, though I suppose you know a lot about egos. Seeing as yours put you here in the first place."

"My ego isn't what put me here, that'd be a bullet. At least pretend to know the story, dick."

"Oh dear, I seem to have upset the dead assassin, tell me. How did you fuck up that badly?"

"Wouldn't you like to know, little red?"

"Not at all little miss botched, I was simply being polite to the dead."

"If that's your polite, I fear for any of your quads."

"I suppose you would know how to treat your quads with the only one being a drunken mess because of you? A token role model you must be."

"Must be nice to think you can control your quads even after death."

"Must be nice to hide behind your failure by being dead."

"Everyone dies eventually. That's how life works."

"Then you have a poor grasp of life."

"Oh good you're insane. You could have saved us both this conversation if you started with that."

"I may be insane but you'll soon understand what I meant and I hope you don't condemn your friends for their actions."

"Yeah I'm not talking to you anymore." Which was fine by him, she was beginning to get under his skin. His first instinct about bringing back the bratty assassin was probably correct and he was gonna regret it, but he was gonna to make her suffer on the way back just as much.

Fittingly he began here the heavy footfalls of the beast that kept Bea's company. And just like that his body had been delivered to him.

"Here's your body, you better follow through."

"I will I will." He dismissed her with a wave of the hand and made his way over to the body that was still warm from being outside, or having been recently alive. It didn't matter as much as the rapidly degrading strands of life that were melting away from this woman's body. If it had none the transfer would be risky at best and final at worst. This was acceptable, even if it wouldn't hurt as much as he would have like still....

His hand snapped out and grasped ahold of seemingly nothing. To his eyes though, now a full burning red that engulfed them from tip to tip, he was grasping onto the phantom threads connected to the aggravating specter. She cried out first in shock and then rage and violence as he began to drag her towards the corpse. The shriek, as he began cutting into her very soul with her own thread of life, intensified until even Bea and Harvey could hear the unholy sound reverbing throughout the cave. The threads ate into Alucar's hands causing gashes and cuts to appear as if on their own and the pain that shot through him wasn't much better. Though the smile on his face was, as the ghost had so nicely described, insane while he dragged the struggling spirit closing and closing bit by bit until finally the cave was silent.

"Congratulations!" Alucar spoke in a much too cheery tone, typing a phantom bow onto her chest. "Welcome to your new lease on life."

@knavestrolls

[onemillionwordsofcrap]

I chose "muscle tear" as like, a vague category to encompass #1, but really I have 3 all in close competition

(1) An insane leg cramp that woke me up in the night due to a combination of overwork and severe magnesium deficiency. Woke up screaming to to go the ER

(2) A wisdom tooth turned sideways rotting inside my jaw until it felt like something in there was squirming. Went two weeks with only intermittent pain relief until I finally got them all taken out in one go

(3) I once burst an ovarian cyst by jorkin it too hard. Tragedy.

To give you a point of reference, the time I had a finger broken by getting my hand slammed in a car door does not hit the top 3

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[doxiedreg]

I have so much fucking stress buildup and I can't do shit about it it's driving me insane

It's so freaking exhausting to be stressed/anxious/scared 24/7

My muscles feel cramped and strained because they are constantly tense

Moving from my bed or couch or wherever I'm laying down feels like torture and I feel so freaking vulnerable and fragile

My brain keeps going haywire and is moving a thousand miles an hour with thoughts and anticipation and stress and processing and just please I want some peace in my brain..

I want to be able to relax for a minute

I feel so fucking shitty and stressed and sad constantly and there's 0 shit I can do about it because physical reactions to it are repressed. I can't scream, I can't cry, I can't fucking relieve pressure and I'm going insane

My jaw is clenched constantly, I'm paranoid about every lil noise, I just want to hide in bed at all times

I want the dam to burst already so this can all get out of my system as writing my feelings and thoughts down is doing less and less for me. It needs to physically get out of my body, but I can't trigger that myself, it just needs to happen and it will be very ugly when it happens but it should give me relief and I want that so fucking bad just please..

(just to be clear: I have no plans of doing harm to myself in any way. I'm doing really really bad mentally rn but I have no plans of inflicting pain on myself. I don't want you guys to worry about that alright? My mental health is piss poor and I'm suffering immensely but once that bubble bursts and all the gross backed up emotions and stress comes flooding out I'll be okay again. I just don't know when that will happen and it sucks ass not having an inch of control over it..)

[sassypotatoe1]

HEY I learned about this last week, I've been trying to find a name for this experience for over a decade and I finally did, so Imma share it with y'all.

Ever since I was little I have experienced pain insanely weird. Things that should hurt a lot barely hurt, but things that shouldn't hurt at all hurt like crazy. It's fine now but when I was younger tucking my hair behind my ears felt almost exactly like accidentally burning that spot with a straightener.

Scratching an itch felt like pulling a muscle, or maybe tearing I've never been good at telling which one it was. Literally I'd scratch an itch, stop, wait a few seconds, and the area I scratched would start burning and feeling like it's cramping.

Sitting in hard chairs makes my hips and butt feel like getting kicked really hard. If I turned around in the chair and my ribs brushed, not hit brushed, the back of the chair it would feel exactly like getting hit with a heavy solid plank. Do not ask me why I know that I don't feel like addressing it.

Everyone thought I was being dramatic or facetious, especially because I don't bruise or swell from these things meaning there's no physical evidence that I'm injured.

On the flip side, I've sprained fingers or ankles or wrists probably a million times in my life and just went about my day until 3 days later when I suddenly have slight discoloration and swelling and a lot of stiffness and pain. I've accidentally burned myself and didn't notice, cut myself and didn't notice, but most frequently I've picked my skin until bleeding and never noticed.

I'm very certain this experience is related to my autism and possible HEDS, but the phenomenon of things hurting a fuck ton that shouldn't hurt at all? Yeah that's called hyperalgesia. I've been experiencing hyperalgesia all my life and never been taken seriously because I didn't have a name for it, but now I do, and now you do too.

Hyperalgesia is an abnormally increased sensitivity to pain, which may be caused by damage to nociceptors or peripheral nerves and can cause hypersensitivity to stimulus. Prostaglandins E and F are largely responsible for sensitizing the nociceptors etc. It's easy to find on Google.

Go forth with knowledge and embarrass your doctors my loves, but most importantly get the care you need and deserve.