#and I still do but I realise I like the piece as a whole and it deserves to be repostedđ„ș
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LOVE, THROUGH PEN AND PAPER
okay so i really wrote this as kind of a test piece to test the waters on if you guys like this and maybe i will make more about how the reader met others hehe! also i very much wrote this with the idea that the reader is not originally from norway, hopefully that is not an annoyance to anyone!
can you guys tell that bÄrd is my absolute favourite metal man to write for? <3
⥠you and bÄrd met through being pen pals in the early 90s!
àšà§ most likely, you had ordered a copy of his little black metal fanzine after hearing about it through another pen pal you were speaking to and he had almost immediately taken note of the country that was definitely not norway in your addressâŠ
⥠now that he looks back on it, it was probably a pretty major breach of privacy and possibly even incriminating but his interest was far too peaked after he saw your name, which he thought was an absolutely beautiful name, and a country he had never been to so he wrote a little letter to go along with the magazine when he posted it off to reach you
àšà§ but the letter only made you as interested in him as he was in you despite the two of you basically being complete strangers! his letter to you was downright adorable, it was filled with cute broken english and misspellings that made a small smile paint your face as you read through it, it was full of general questions about your home county and how exactly you heard about his little fanzine! not to mention the mixed in questions about you too, questions about what bands you like and what your life is like! his letter was obviously filled with curiosity about you and who would you be to not write a letter back to him after he ended his own with the most adorable little thank you for buying his fanzine?
⥠when bĂ„rd received your very first letter back to him, he was so strangely ecstatic about it! he already had quite a few pen pals but you⊠you and your letter felt so different to him, it felt so much more special and he could never quite put his finger on why until he began to send more letters to you and receive more letters from you! after just about three short months of talking to each other through pen and paper, after talking to each other about music and so many deeper topics about yourselves, after eventually beginning to send pictures of yourselves to each other, bĂ„rd finally realised just what about you and your letters felt so special to himâŠ
àšà§ he was totally into you! oh gosh, of course he was! everything made sense when it clicked in his head that he had a more intimate liking towards you, all those times that he would sit around feeling so impatient and almost lost whilst waiting for your next letter to arrive, all of those times he would check his post every single morning for your next letter, all of those times he felt so free and open when writing to you about himself, all of those times he would feel his face heat up whenever he read your compliments towards him and his band! there were just so many things that suddenly made so much sense when it all pieced together in his head that he really liked you, he liked everything about you!
⥠of course this new and sudden realisation scared bÄrd a whole lot because did he really even want to confess his feelings towards you? did he really want to risk losing you as a wonderful friend because you do not feel the same and the waters are made murky after his confession of wanting to be something more? but he does it, he sends you a long letter confessing everything after almost an hour of walking in circles around his small bedroom with his hands grasping at his long brown hair and his mind lost in paranoia before he just decides to sit down and write a letter confessing everything he feels towards you! with shaky hands and a worried mind, the letter turns out slightly messy with chicken scrawl handwriting but he knows you will still understand it all, you always seem to understand him! he actually gets his mother to post this letter to you for him, he knows damn well that he would probably pull out just before posting it and he knows his worry would probably get the best of him so he asks her to post it for him
àšà§ the waiting days after sending the letter to you are downright horrible for bĂ„rd, he can barely focus on anything as he awaits your letter back to him and not even playing his drums take his mind away from you⊠he can barely get to sleep at night as he fears the possibility that he will never receive a letter back from you because of his confession! the restless nights and fearful days become evident in his face as his eyes grow tired and his pale face becomes exhausted! but then, after a excruciatingly slow week of waiting and hoping, he receives a letter through the door and immediately runs to snatch it up from the carpet before rushing upstairs to his bedroom to read it in privateâŠ
⥠bÄrd almost yells in excitement and pure happiness when he reads through your letter with shaky hands and sees the words about how you feel the exact same towards him, he can just barely even attempt to hold in a relieved scream as his worried mind is finally put to rest by your loving words on the paper! his body is completely overrun with energy and an almost childlike glee as he fully realised that this is it, he has you now! he has all he ever wanted now! you felt so perfect for him, from the first time he ever read your name on that delivery address and felt a strange tingle in his heart to now as he reads through your letter about feeling that very same love for him! he feels so at peace and so content as he reads your confession letter over and over again, savouring your sweet words in his head before putting it aside to excitedly begin writing his next one to you
àšà§ you can hardly believe your eyes when you read his next letter back to you about how fearful he was to admit his feelings for you, your eyes widening in confusion as you read his written words about how terrified he was⊠how on earth would it have ever been possible for you to have not felt the same for him? he was so sweet, so passionate and so handsome⊠i would have been impossible for you to have not felt the very same love for him that he felt for youâŠ
⥠eventually, in early january of the next year after the two of you had even began talking for the first time through letters, you decided to fly out to norway as a kind of late christmas gift for him! you did not even ask him to meet you at the airport as the closest one to his home was still quite a bit away but he did anyways, of course he did! how could he not? he wanted, needed to be there the second you stepped foot in the very same country he was in, he needed to be with you the second it was possible and he sure was! literally the minute you were in his sight after exiting the terminal, he was rushing to take you into his arms for the very first time! excitement mixed with nervousness taking over his body as he held you in a tight hug while you laughed quietly into his shoulder about how constricting his skinny arms were around you before settling your hands on his blushing cheeks and leaning up to place a deep kiss to his lips, the first of many! he was so nervous, he had never kissed anyone like you before, none of his prior kisses were real like this one, you felt so real! after that day, it was hard for him to ever let you go at all, every minute of your days in norway were spent being in his arms as the two of you talked about anything and everything you could think of! this first time actually meeting only proved to bÄrd just how perfect you truly were for him and he never wanted you to leave his arms <3
#thoughts â©#pen pal! bĂ„rd eithun#pen pal! faust#bard eithun x reader#faust x reader#emperor x reader
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having the kinda day where i'm just looking through my old shit so heres a piece of the smeets playing favouritesđ
#SORRYYYY ITS SO OLD! I deleted it a long time ago bc I hatehatehatehaaaate how skoodge came out#and I still do but I realise I like the piece as a whole and it deserves to be repostedđ„ș#smeet au#zasr#invader zim#rin arts
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I wanted to do a big piece to wrap up my year solidly, and here it finally is! I forget when I had the idea, but I really wanted to draw the ocs who had physical effects on my life all in one place. This has been a few months of work, and I may not be quite finished with it, but I have alas run out of time if I want to meet my deadline XD
More info on how important these characters have been to my life under the cut, cause that stuffâs Personal
Joy was my very first oc. The one that showed me just how much my imagination could Do, how far it could go. The one that gave me something to really write about, so I discovered my passion for writing and spent Years learning everything I could about writing and books. I donât think anything will ever top how good my first rush of inspiration felt. None of my other ocs would exist without her paving the way. She even ended up being the reason I picked the college that I did, so many years later.
Arrow introduced me to online spaces, and helped me work through the concept of trauma and mental health. She carried me through a really hard transition, though I didnât realise it at the time. She gave me a safe way to dip into my harsher emotions without self destructing. I learned so much about my own values and my mind from her. Honestly Iâd rather not get into exactly what my experience with her was, itâs so cringy (to give you a hint, she was my online-sona) XD Out of all of them, I think she has changed the most and really gives me a sense of how far Iâve come
Kai is one of the main reasons I conquered my social anxiety, and managed to coast through my worst depression period. There are so so many experiences I never would've gotten without him. I am so much braver and kinder to myself for his existence. He sort of picked up where Joy left off, inso far as filling me with joy and inspiration again, and expanding my imagination and writing skills. Plus it was the first time I got to really experiment and branch out with character design (ie. There are more outfits out there than just tank tops XD)
And Ebony... aaahhh, Ebony. The whole reason my tumblr is what it is today. The reason I really became an Artist, and even got commissions! They led me to my partner, to my gender, and to so many dear online friends. Years of digital art and practice, all because of Ebony. Half of the art gifts Iâve gotten are of them! I canât even keep track of all the ways they've affected the course of my life, like just my partner Alone completely changed everything for me
I can barely begin to scratch the surface of every small way these characters physically impacted my life. No shade to my other ocs XD
#Can you see the theme with my characters XD#god Kai stands out so badly#You get 3 guesses for what my favorite color is XD#yeah wow this really tacks my creative and emotional history from ages 10-19#This really feels like a piece I'll want to re-do like 10 years down the line#I haven't drawn Joy in uhh... well over 6 years#I may or may not have cried seeing her again#I still vividly remember the moment she came into my mind#it was like my whole world suddenly becoame so much Brighter#and I knew who I was in this world with no shadow of doubt#Arrow was a different story XD#quite a bit bittersweet#ig getting to show care to that version of me#I also did her last cause I realised that I wanted to move forward from the tank top XD#it's my guyyyyyssss#sleepyselkiesketches#can't wait for the day I actually do good shading XD#ocs#Ebony#Kai#Arrow#Joy#yknow maybe drawing my mostly brown and green ocs in a forest was not the best move XD#....actually I'm suddenly struck by how you can see my energy decline through the characters#from climbing trees to leaning to sitting to reclining#....huh
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its 'i know it doesnt matter and im used to it at this point but im actually a little sad that im kinda ugly' hours
#its ok ill stop thinking about it in a moment but yeah. thats what happens when i see pictures of myself next to my friends#they're all so hot and beautiful this is like. kinda unfair ngl lol#and like. i realise they dont mean those as actually backhanded compliments. but it sure does feel that way#most of the time i do try to embrace it and ive mostly made piece with the fact that im not here to be pretty but to be weird and funny#peace ffs*#but sometimes you'd just want to see a candid photo someone took of you when you weren't looking#and not feel the need to immediately turn it into a joke because the only alternative available is to confront that the fact that you are.#indeed. Fucking Ugly lol#like idk. i genuinely dont mind that when im with my friends at home. but here all the girls at this fucking uni#are so OBSESSED with their looks#and i was kinda mean to one yesterday. still in a haha-jokey way but goddammit i hate how good it felt#cause like girl. dont think i dont know what you're doing when we're taking selfies. and its okay.#i can be The Ugly Friend That's Only There To Make You Even Prettier. i can be that. but i want you to KNOW that I KNOW.#you're not fooling me darling <3 and i honestly find it even more insulting that you'd think you could lol#babygirl ive been doing *this* my whole life. believe me i know how to stop that fucking behaviour. you're not being as subtle as you think#*spot lol#peace and love but i really would be SUCH a different person if i were pretty its not even funny. so maybe it's for the better huh
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I do think it's a little silly when someone says they miss a piece of media... Like,the media is right there(probably) ! Go watch that show again or play that game again, it's (probably) not gone! But then also like. I get it. I suppose the first watch or experience of something is special and like, fandom hype around stuff if it was a popular piece of media is something you wouldn't experience within the show again, but also like,,,, you're mourning something that's not dead (usually) Create fan content! Watch that thing again! Engage with old fanworks! Cause someone will appreciate it, it will also make you happy!
#Having to put the stuff in brackets literally _just_ to account for Unnus Annus#Ugh#Sorry I didn't like that thing when it was still coming out and still don't like it now :thumbsup:#I was gonna make a funny meme post but I think it wouldn't be funny because I can't explain it using simple language#Impermenant media enjoyers be like#âWow that trip to the beach was good. Shame I can never do that again because that's how the world worksâ#Or smth like that#It's not even funny I need to think of a funnier situation#My quelms with Unnus Annus are weird and complicated and no ones ever agreed with me about it so it's probabaly just a me thing#And not an actual legit critism of the thing sjsjsjsj#I write about more in a draft I have of a mini essay I was writing about DDLitG's ending that's like. A year old by now#I will finish it! Just permanently busy and when not permanently busy I'm permanently tired#It's like. It's mean! Which is a silly complaint but it ties into like. A trope I hate that I love how DDLitG does!#This kind of critism of attachment to a piece of media often insists on making the viewer feel dumb for liking a thing and I don't like it!#Unnus Annus kind of plays this kind of moral where it's like 'Oh#Unnus Annus plays this kind of trope like 'Oh-all of this is impermanent so don't get attached because you'll only have memories after uwu'#And like. I guess I get what they were going for. But that's just. People were getting sooo upset over being attached to the thing#Like they felt bad about it and just don't think that's a great thing to be perpetrating. I promise you can get attached to media guys.#I promise you you're allowed to like things:3#Also I realised I've been spelling Unus Annus wrong this whole time I apologise#Also not a huge fan of people acting like their in this super secret club for watching an extremely popular piece of media thats deleted#But that's definitely a me thing sjdndnsjs#Okay jeez I started ranting about this on a completely unrelated post sorry#Look forward to the mini essay whenever I finish it lol#Android.txt
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Just realised
February 2022 - Drakengard 1.3
February 2023 - Drakengard "Magnitude Negative"
February 2024 -
I'm free :')
#drakengard#gu6chan's musings#making a statement on all that soon since I'm going to be asking AL to stop hosting my works#as much as I'd LIKE to keep the reach accessible it's run by people who have caused me and others a LOT of pain and generally#the owner is a nice guy but the mods and whole community surrounding AL has done some awful shit and I've decided I just can't feel good#affiliating myself with them anymore; it's not fair to the people they've hurt and who *I* hurt trying to live up to their standards and#'community'#as far as translations in general go it's still rocky for me since like#I'd LIKE to; there's nothing I love more than being able to share these worlds and details with people#but after seeing shit like the twin theory and only being asked about 'how x fits in the lore' a million times I've come to realise that#people don't really CARE about the worlds themselves; they just see them as parts of a larger puzzle and anything that doesn't fit is just#laughed off; recontextualised or even outright disregarded#it's selfish of me to say since everyone deserves to make use of these works in their own way; even if its disagreeable or even wrong#but it's seriously demotivating as a translator to work so hard on something and just see people completely miss the point of the work and#just chop it into pieces for their typical 'it HAS to relate to nier or Drakengard 3' spiel#like people just cant respect the work in it's own right and world at all anymore it seems and it hurts#and again its selfish of me but if i knew that 1.3 and Magnitude Negative were going to be used like that I would have never translated the#there's just a lot to consider because I've found I LOVE doing it and making these things available but#i don't even know if it's worth it tbh
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Suddenly got this really weird off-putting feeling in my chest that I usually get when Iâm about to cry over something, but also with some general iffyness thrown into the mix, and for once instead of immediately giving in to it or getting pissed at my mind I tried to figure out where it came from
Turns out I would have been completely justified in getting pissed at my mind because turns out, the cause is that I thought about a fic concept I was really excited about a few months ago that I never ended up writing because I couldnât get into the flow from the very first sentence. I thought about it for a whole five seconds and now weâre here. Fucking great
#I need the ability to shut my brain off bc itâs always dead set on making me upset#yeah no shit Iâm depressed and passively suicidal of course my mind is my worst enemy. but still. very mature thing to get hysterical about#and like. I barely even tried with that fic. I was riding that Astraphobia high back then#and thought I finally managed to achieve what other writers always went on and on about re: enjoying writing#yeah I know. I spent years writing without once enjoying the process or the final result. idk why I kept at it for so long#so I was feeling genuinely unstoppable and when the idea came to me I was super excited about writing it#but then I wasnât really sure how to start it or how to even go about describing what I wanted to go down#I typed up a few sentences and it all just felt extremely wrong#so instead of acting like the adult I nearly am and like. leaving it to sit for a while as I gathered my thoughts#or trying out a few other approaches or starting with a different scene and filling the rest in later#I just threw a fit over it and abandoned the whole fic#but I still really like the idea and would like to see it realised. and whoâll do that if not me? kat has her own stories to worry about#so every so often I remember that excitement I felt at the prospect of getting to write it#and how quickly it faded when it didnât feel as effortless as most of astraphobia did#and how that really felt like the greatest betrayal because it seemed as if the spark I spent so long trying to cultivate and light#was just doused with freezing water right in front of me. by my own mind no less#so⊠I suppose that betrayal will continue to haunt me still. probably until I pull myself together and write that fic#regardless of the pain and tears it will cause. and I know it will. thatâs what forcing fics out always feels like#and Iâm saying forcing out fics bc the only time I felt like an actual writer was when I wrote Astraphobia#all the other times I was just stubbornly shoving the wrong puzzle pieces together. or forcing square shape into round holes like a toddler#but regardless. I will keep remembering the idea and feeling like shit over failing at it unless it gets written#by me or kat and it shouldnât be her job to write fics for me bc Iâll throw a fit if she doesnât#exaggerated. but the point is there. I canât expect anyone to disarm the triggers in my brain. only I can do that#and if writing that fic will stop me from getting hysterical at the tiniest thought of it. then it seems like Iâll have to see to it#even if it takes a huge mental load. itâll be worth it in the long run bc Iâll have one less writing-related thing to cry about#I just wish I knew how to go about it better. I have clear ideas about the main part of the fic but the inciting incident + details evade me#I guess Iâll just have to figure it out. I have to stop saying âit is what it isâ and continuing to stew in the self hatred#something needs to be done. and in this case the only thing that will remove the trigger is the fic being written#I think part of me always knew that but tried to ignore it and hoped those feeling would fade with time. but of course they didnât.#so⊠I guess itâs never been clearer what I have to do. my fate is in my own hands. one trigger less certainly wouldnât hurt
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routledge!reader x rafe, after big john comes back and finds out that both of his kids are dating the camerons, he gets mad, especially at his daughter, cause he thought that she wasn't thinking straight. After a few days, he throws a stupid comment about rafe when they were with the rest of the pogues and reader just snaps at him. pure angst now đ„° she realises that he's never been a good father, only caring about treasures and yells that she wishes he never came back. Then goes to rafe, crying, for comfort đ (i love angst im sorry.)
hold me close
rafe cameron x routledge!reader
warnings: angst, swearing, a kiss, pretty safe !!
authors note: OKAY ik thats trevor n not rafe but erm, weâll pretend bc that pic is what gives the energy for this oneshot. anyway hii, hope u guys enjoy this one. feel free to send any requests guys! n thank u for 1k followers yesterday. ilyasm <33
you sit in the backyard, the soft hum of cicadas filling the warm night air. the pogues are just behind you, laughing and talking in a huddle. it feels good to see them like this againânormal, for once, after everything.
after the chaos of the last year, of treasure hunts, betrayals, and close calls. youâve always tried to stay out of it, letting john b and the others chase after the gold while you lived your life. but eventually, you couldnât stay on the sidelines, not when rafe got involved, not when it became a matter of life and death.
itâs been hard, being stuck between two sides, torn between your brother and your boyfriend. but tonight, you just want peace.
you glance over at your dad, sitting a little ways away from the group, leaning back in his chair with a satisfied grin on his face. big john routledgeâalive, after these three years. you still canât believe it sometimes.
he looks different, a little more worn, a little rougher around the edges, but the way he carries himself hasnât changed. heâs still larger than life, still full of stories, still your dad. and god, you missed him.
he catches your eye, and for a moment, itâs like nothing has changed. like youâre just a kid again, sitting with your dad, listening to him talk about his crazy ideas, his wild adventures.
âyou know,â he starts, leaning forward, âi remember that time you and john b tried to catch that fish out by the dock, and you both fell in. i swear, i thought i was gonna have to drag you two out myself,â he says, chuckling to himself, shaking his head like the memory is some long-lost treasure of its own.
you smile, even though it feels a little bittersweet. âyeah,â you murmur under your breath.
you pull at a piece of grass by your feet, your fingers absentmindedly tearing at it. youâve waited so long for this momentâfor him to come back, for your family to feel whole again.
but now that heâs here, you donât know what to do with it. you canât shake the feeling that somethingâs changed, that heâs not just the dad you remember, but something else entirely. still, you canât help but feel like the little girl who always looked up to him, who wanted nothing more than to make him proud.
âi never thought weâd see you again,â you mumble, your voice low, barely above a whisper. you donât look up from the grass, your fingers still picking at the blades, but you can feel his gaze on you.
âi never thought iâd be back either,â he admits quietly. âbut i couldnât stop thinking about you two. every day out there . . . i thought about coming home.â
you scoff softly, a bitter smile pulling at your lips, even though you donât mean for it to. âbut you didnât,â you say, barely above a whisper. âyou didnât come back for three years.â
he shifts in his seat, his fingers tapping against the arm of the chair. âit wasnât that simple, y/n,â he says. âi was trying to protect you. there are dangerous people out there, people who want what weâre after. i couldnât come back until i knew it was safe.â
you nod, but itâs a hollow gesture. youâve heard it all before from other peopleâthe excuses, the treasure, the danger. it always comes back to that.
you glance at your friends, laughing and sharing stories with each other. youâve spent so long trying to push this life aside, to live outside of the mess of treasure hunts and betrayals. but it always pulls you back in.
âyeah, you always did put the treasure first,â you murmur as you face forward again. youâre not even sure if you mean to say it out loud. itâs more to yourself, just a thought thatâs been living in the back of your mind for too long.
âdonât do that.â he leans forward, his voice soft, almost pleading. âi did it for you and john b,â he says, like itâs the most obvious thing in the world. âfor our family. i wanted us to have somethingâsomething big, something that would change everything.â
âyeah, but we didnât need that,â you say, your voice small, but firm. youâre still pulling at the grass, twisting it around your fingers. âwe just needed you.â
he doesnât say anything for a moment. itâs like heâs trying to figure out what to say, but thereâs nothing that can fix the years of distance. nothing that can make up for what you lost when he left.
thereâs a long silence, and for a moment, you think maybe this is as close as youâll ever get to understanding each other. you donât want to fight tonight. you just want to sit with him, to pretend that things could go back to how they were before.
âso,â he starts again, his tone shifting back to playful, like heâs trying to lighten the mood, âyou and john b teaming up with the others to chase down treasure? guess it runs in the family.â
you laugh, but itâs a little forced. âyeah, well, i tried to stay out of it. but . . .â
âbut what?â he presses, leaning forward with a smirk. âgot a little taste of adventure, didnât you?â
you glance up at the marsh, a faint smile on your lips. âsomething like that,â you mutter.
but you donât mention rafe, donât mention how heâs become a part of this tangled mess, how hard itâs been being caught between him and your family. youâve already told your dad the day you reunited a few days ago in barbados. didnât end well that time either. you donât want to ruin the moment, donât want to start another fight.
but, as if the universe is reading your mind, your dad shifts the conversation in a way that makes your stomach drop. âjust promise me,â he says, suddenly serious, âyou wonât let that rafe cameron kid get too close. heâs no good, y/n.â
the words hit you like a slap, and for a moment, you just sit there, staring at him. it takes you a second to process what heâs said, to even understand the casual way heâs dismissed rafe, like itâs nothing. like heâs nothing.
âand i hear john bâs with sarah now, too?â his tone shifts, bitter and disapproving. âso now both of my kids are wrapped up with the camerons. hell of a choice you both made.â
you freeze, your stomach tightening. there it is. you knew it was coming, but it still hits you like a punch to the gut. itâs not the first time heâs made a comment about rafe, and you thought you were doing the right thing confessing whatâs changed since you last saw him, but now heâs dragging john b into it, and that makes it worse. so much worse.
âdad,â you start, trying to keep your voice steady, but thereâs an edge to it, a warning. âdonât.â
he shakes his head like youâve said something ridiculous. âno, i am gonna say something. sarah, rafe, theyâre cameronâs kids. ward cameronâs kids. youâre smart enough to know better than to get mixed up with people like him. theyâre bad news. always have been.â
âyeah, but theyâre not like him,â you snap, your voice sharper than you intended. âsarahâs not ward. rafeâs not ward. theyâre not their father.â
he just laughs, but thereâs no humor in it. itâs harsh. âyou really believe that?â he asks, shaking his head again. âtheyâre camerons. itâs in their blood. you think youâre any safer with rafe than you were without me here? because iâm telling you right now, youâre not.â
you stand up, your hands balled into fists at your sides. youâve heard enough. for days now, youâve listened to him make little digs about rafe, about the camerons, and youâve kept your mouth shut. but tonight, itâs too much. you canât keep it in anymore.
âthree years, dad. three years you were gone, chasing your stupid treasure, while we were stuck here. john b and i had to figure it out on our own. so donât stand there and act like you have any right to tell me who i should or shouldnât be with.â
big john looks at you, stunned, like heâs seeing you for the first time. but youâre not done. thereâs too much youâve kept bottled up, and now itâs all spilling out.
âyou care more about that gold than you ever did about us,â you say. âyou care more about treasure than you do about being a father. you donât know anything.â
big johnâs face hardens, his jaw clenching as he stares at you. âi know enough,â he says, his voice cold. âi know who the camerons are.â
âyeah?â you snap, your voice breaking. âwell, maybe if youâd been here, youâd actually know something about me too.â
you turn on your heel, ready to storm off, but the moment you move, you notice it.
the pogues are silent now, all of them watching. sarah, jj, pope, kieâtheyâre still, their conversations dropped as they stand there, wide-eyed and uneasy. john b, though, heâs just sitting there with his can of beer held low in his hands, lips pressed together. you can tell heâs heard it all before. heâs not going to step in because he knows you need to let it out.
youâre just done with it. you take a step forward, ready to leave this backyard and the suffocating tension behind. but something stops you, a feeling gnawing at your chest, pulling you back. you hesitate, turning just enough to glance at your dad over your shoulder.
heâs still staring at you, his expression set like stone, as if heâs waiting for you to say more, to take it all back, maybe. but you wonât. not now.
your voice wavers, but itâs steady enough. âi wish you never came back.â
his face doesnât move, but something flickers in his eyes. you donât wait for him to respond. you turn away for good this time and walk out, leaving the backyard behind.
before you know it, youâre at rafeâs house, your knuckles rapping against the door almost frantically. you pace, glancing down at your phone, watching as the notifications keep comingâtexts from john b, a few from kie, and even jj. they're all asking the same thing: â where are you? â or â are you okay? â
you drag your hand down your face, trying to ignore the tightness in your chest. before you can get lost in your thoughts, the door swings open, and there he is.
rafe stands in the doorway, his expression unreadable. he leans against the doorframe for a second, his lips slightly parted, taking you in. you know heâs already pieced together whatâs happened from the voice messages you left on the way over. not that heâs the type to acknowledge it with some grand gesture or comforting words.
he doesnât say anything, but he steps aside without much ceremony. you slip past him and leave your phone in the foyer, tossing it carelessly on the side table as you pass, the pinging of messages finally fading into the background.
you make your way down the hallway, not even sure where youâre going, but your feet carry you to the living room. rafe follows close behind, his presence looming, but not overbearing. his eyes are trained on you, watching as you take in the dimly lit room. thereâs a bottle of whiskey sitting on the coffee table, a glass next to it, already finished. itâs so rafeâquiet, controlled chaos.
you stop, your breath shaky, your chest tight, and before you can hold it back, everything comes spilling out.
âhe doesnât get it, rafe. he just doesnât fucking get anything,â you start, your voice louder than you intend. you turn to face him, your hands gesturing wildly as you try to make sense of the mess of emotions coursing through you. âi mean, heâs been gone for years, and he comes back, and suddenly he thinks he can just . . . control everything? like he gets to have an opinion about my life after everything heâs done. he doesn't even know me anymore.â
rafes eyes are fixed on you, and heâs listening, letting you get it out. his jaw twitches slightly, but he stays silent, just watching as you unravel in front of him.
âand itâs like . . . itâs like no matter what i do, no matter how hard i try, itâs never enough! not for him, not for john b, not for anyone!â your voice cracks, and you press your palms against your temples, trying to hold yourself together, but the tears are already brimming, threatening to spill over. âi didnât ask for any of this. i didnât ask to be stuck in the middle of all this shit with my family and you and . . . god, itâs too much.â
you turn away from him, your breath coming out in shallow gasps now as you try to steady yourself. but itâs no use. youâre falling apart, and it feels like the weight of everything is finally crushing you.
before you can say another word, rafe steps forward, his arms sliding around you in one swift motion. âalright, alright, câmere,â he murmurs, his voice soft but firm. âcâmon.â
you collapse into him, burying your face into his chest, the tears coming freely now. he holds you tight, his chin resting lightly against the top of your head as his hand rubs slow circles on your back.
rafeâs not one for words, and you donât expect him to be, but thisâthis is enough. the steady rise and fall of his chest, the way his arms keep you grounded, itâs enough to make the world stop spinning for just a moment.
you donât say anything else. neither does he. the silence stretches on, but itâs not uncomfortable. for once, you feel like you can breathe.
even though heâs holding you, his mind seems elsewhereâhis jaw clenched, muscles rigid beneath the surface. itâs not hard to guess where his thoughts have drifted, especially after everything you told him in those voice messages.
you can tell heâs upset. not just because youâre upset, but because of what your dad saidâabout him, about his family. his body is stiff as he holds you, and you know him well enough to see the silent anger simmering just beneath the surface. his eyes arenât on you; theyâre somewhere distant, staring past you as if heâs imagining your fatherâs words in his head.
âiâm sorry about what he said, rafe,â you whisper into his chest, feeling the way his breathing shifts, more shallow now, controlled. âhe said something about sarah and john b, too.â
he doesnât respond right away, but you feel his hand pause against your back, fingers pressing a little harder. for a moment, it feels like he might pull away, but instead, he just tightens his grip on you. his silence speaks volumes. rafe is the type to internalize everything, to let it fester until it boils over, but you can feel it nowâthe tension thrumming through his entire body.
âdoesnât matter,â he finally mutters, though you can tell by the way his voice is low, that it does. âitâs nothing i havenât heard before.â
you pull back slightly, just enough to look up at him, and his eyes flick down to meet yours. theyâre darker than usual, clouded with frustration, but he still tries to soften his expression for you.
âhe doesnât know what heâs talking about,â you say quietly. âhe doesnât know you.â
for a moment, neither of you speaks. rafeâs hand resumes its slow, steady motion against your back, though the tension hasnât fully left his body. you can feel the war going on inside himâthe part of him thatâs angry, defensive, but also the part thatâs trying to be here for you, to let go of his own frustration long enough to comfort you.
âfuck him,â rafe mutters after a long silence, his voice barely above a whisper. âhe doesnât get to talk about you like that. or me.â
thereâs a dangerous edge to his voice now, but you know itâs not directed at you. heâs angry, not just at your dad, but at the situationâthe impossible mess youâve both found yourselves in, caught between your family and his.
âi donât care what he thinks,â you murmur, holding onto him tighter. âiâm here with you. thatâs all that matters.â
he doesnât respond, but his hand moves to the back of your neck, his fingers curling gently into your hair as he exhales, long and slow, like heâs finally letting go of whatever was eating at him.
for the first time tonight, the room feels quiet as the two of you stand there, wrapped in each otherâs arms.
youâre gazing up into his eyes, searching for somethingâcomfort, understanding, maybe a little reassurance. your hands find their way up his shoulders, one resting gently on his collarbone while the other slides higher, rubbing the area around his ear and jaw.
âyou know that i love you,â you murmur, your voice soft but steady, as if the confession can dissolve the tension still hanging in the air.
rafe stares down at you, and in that moment, you can see everything in his eyes. heâs never loved anyone more than he loves youâthe way you stood your ground against your own dad tonight, defending yourself and defending him and his family. itâs a vulnerable space, one he doesnât often let himself occupy, but with you, it feels different.
he nods, pressing his lips together as if trying to hold back a flood of emotion. then, with a sudden urgency, he leans down and kisses you deeply. the taste of whiskey lingers on his lips. itâs a kiss that speaks of everything unspoken.
but just as quickly as it begins, he pulls away and presses a soft kiss to your cheek. you close your eyes into the gesture, feeling the warmth of his lips linger against your skin.
rafe goes back to resting his chin on your head, his breath steady as he holds you close again. you breathe in his familiar scent, a mix of sea salt and something distinctly rafe, and let the silence wrap around you like a comforting blanket.
in this moment, nothing else matters. not the fights, not your dadâs harsh words, not the stupid tangled web of family and expectations.
just you and him, together, holding onto each other for as long as you can.
#rafe#rafe cameron#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron fanfic#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron angst#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron outer banks#drew#drew starkey#drew starkey concept#drew starkey smut#drew starkey imagine#drew starkey x you#drew starkey fic#drew starkey blurb#drew starkey fanfiction#drew starkey fanfic#requests!#rafe outer banks#rafe smut#rafe angst#rafe x reader#rafe x you#x reader#rafe fanfiction
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ONE PIECE LIVE ACTION MEN + DICK HEADCANONS & SIZES
a/n. i wrote this last night at 5am while sleep deprived so the further it gets the more wack it gets LOL
cw/tw. f!reader, rough sex, blowjobs, dirty talk, slight exhibitionism, body hair, skinny penis, unprotected sex, for 18+ readers
MONKEY D. LUFFY
â 6.5â but thinks heâs average, so he doesnât stretch it out with his abilities. not too girthy, but he makes up for it with his unrelenting stamina. it curves up against his stomach and leans left slightly. a little bit messy because he tried to shave it once and nicked himself, so he just settled with the hair. honey-toned towards the base and a deep red at the tip, especially when heâs raring to go.
â he wants to do it in every position, on every surface. he has you bent over the dinner table, one leg up and slamming into you mercilessly. he has you spread eagle in the bathtub, legs locked behind his back as he stuffs you full. itâs almost as if his dick is made for you, the curve perfectly abuses your g-spot as every orgasm overwhelms you, and youâre left a sobbing, babbling mess. he wants to know if heâs doing well, and he gets his answer when you chant âsâ so, ah! good, fuck, dâ donât stop!â like a prayer.
RORONOA ZORO
â long, fat and heavy. heâs blessed with a stunning 7.3â length, though if anyone asks, he rounds down to make them feel more at ease. veiny. the mushroom tip is flushed purple, and itâs rests nicely on your tongue!! probably messy down there, he doesnât see the point in shaving or trimming, but if you ask nicely, heâll grunt, roll his eyes, and do it for you.
â you insisted that you didnât need any prep, but as you straddled him, lining up your cunt with his cock, you soon realised your mistake. you have to spread yourself open, face scrunching up, and slowly sink down. he loves the feeling of your pussy walls fluttering as you start riding him. when your eyes flutter shut and your hips stutter, he takes controlâholding you tight by the waist and fucking into you until youâre screaming.
SANJI VINSMOKE
â 6.4â and so so pretty. slender, with a pale shaft that leads into a rosy pink at the tip. it curves up and to the right. the carpet matches the drapes. he keeps it neat, though he probably doesnât grow much hair anyway. he trims it once every few days, but heâll never admit to it. smells the best AKA smells really clean, like soap.
â he goes crazy when you maintain eye contact and drop to your knees. you take his cock in hand, lifting it to run your tongue on the underside, tracing a prominent vein. you swirl your tongue around his sensitive head and his whole body is shaking, knees buckling as he chases that familiar high.
USUPP
â coming in at 5.8â, he makes up for it in his thick girth. when he jerks himself off, he can barely wrap his hand around it. heâs soooo sensitive that the wind can blow and heâs be hard. fat fat fat mushroom head thatâs olive, golden-hued, and always oozing precum. heavy heavy balls. he might be clumsy and inexperienced, but his size alone is enough to make you drool. trims sometimes but only when he thinks he might get lucky.
â his hand grips your hair as you worship his cock, working magic with your mouth. as you jerk him off, you give small kitten licks to his leaking tip, tasting his salty precum. you whisper, âi want youâ and before you know it, he has you pinned under him, rutting his thick cock into you desperately. his eyes are fixated on the way your cunt swallows him, and only strangled groans escape his lips.
BUGGY
â sorry buggy simps but heâs definitely a shower not a grower, though he still does comes in at a nice 6â! also, itâs ya boy, skinny penis. built like a tree branch but at least itâs really veiny, AND he knows how to talk you through it. so really, it might not be the most impressive but with his confidence when heâs fucking you? heâll fuck you out and make you believe heâs 8â and 5â.
â he loves admiring your sopping cunt as it swallow him whole, your princess parts stretching to to accommodate his cock. he likes to fucks you. he presses you up against a window and fucks you from the back, choking you with his forearm and practically purrs, âtaking me so well, ya dirty slut, fuckinâ cunt was made for my cock.â
SHANKS
â he doesnât act like it buuuuuuut monster cock. itâs 7.8â, thick, and curved so much it slaps against his happy trail. let me tell you that when he sun tans, he does it naked. he lathers that horse cock up with sunblock and spreads eagle on the sand, hands behind his head, so heâs bronzed and beautiful. trims when he feels like it or if you ask, he doesnât really think much about it.
â he doesnât look like heâs putting in much effort when he fucks, barely breaking a sweat, but he has you writhing, hands gripping the sheets, eyes hazy and choking on your own spit. he knows what heâs doing to you. his thumb finds your clit, rubbing in delicate circles making you cum over and over again until youâre absolutely wrecked. when heâs close, he picks up the pace, grunting heavily, hips stuttering as he spills his seed inside of you. when he pulls out, he takes the time to finger fuck his cum back into you, your body shaking as you work through the aftershock.
#tojiphile#one piece#one piece smut#luffy x reader#zoro x reader#sanji x reader#usupp x reader#buggy x reader#shanks x reader#luffy x you#zoro x you#sanji x you#usupp x you#buggy x you#shanks x you#one piece live action#one piece x reader#smut blog
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note: this is an unofficial part 2 of this boxer!rafe and his sweetheart <3
ËâàŒâ§âË.ËâàŒâ§âË.ËâàŒâ§âË.ËâàŒâ§âË.ËâàŒâ§âË.ËâàŒâ§âË.ËâàŒâ§âË.ËâàŒâ§âË.ËâàŒâ§âË.ËâàŒâ§âË.ËâàŒâ§âË.ËâàŒâ§âË.ËâàŒâ§âË.
boxer!rafe can't stop thinking about you pregnant, and some would say he got more protective when you did get pregnant.
you weren't showing yet, but he was always keeping a watchful eye on you, protective hand wandering to your midsection.
after the scare you gave him at the games, he watched you all the time, willfully bringing home more food than was needed, feeling willing to come back home when he heard your whines through the phone, and buying you the most beautiful sundresses ever.
sometimes the two of you would spend more time together, looking out the balcony as he smoked a cigarette, and you looked outside with a dazed expression, hand stroking your stomach. he watched the way your nose wrinkled when a trendil of smoke reached your nose.
you made a screwed face, and then looked back at rafe with a pointed look, "i don't like that."
the next day all the cigarettes in your house were gone, and he went back to boxing. it was sweet the way your small proclamation could command him to do anything. sometimes you couldn't help but test it. test how much he loved you, and how willing he was go to. you knew it was bad the way you were acting, but you ached for the attention.
so it was all to plan when you woke up craving a burger.
not just any burger. it needed to be homemade, or even one of the burgers that rafe had made you during your first date. you remember it so clearly, the way his hand scimmed past your back as he helped you chop the cucumbers, a soft hand twirling a tendril of your hair.
it was all in your head, and suddenly you needed the burger with your life. you were pawing at his chest, soft whines leaving your mouth. he woke suddenly, taking a deep inhale of air.
"what's wrong?" he muttered, words slurred with sleep. you couldn't feel but feel bad as you pouted at him. you were wearing a pretty nightgown with a bow at the top. you watched him scan your swollen body.
you were pulling all the routes as you lowered your voice, "i need a burger."
he looked at you incredulously, eyebrows raised putting his rough hand on your shoulder, "right now?"
you frowned, before rubbing your stomach, "yes."
he groaned, falling back to head head first. you bit your tongue to stop giggles from spilling out of your mouth. he was so soft with you now, and you knew that months ago he would never act like this. but you couldn't help but tug at his arm as a grunt fell from his mouth.
"do you really need it, mama?"
now you couldn't stop your smile. you loved it when he called you 'mama,' and you loved the gentle tilt of his mouth when he called you that. and you rested your head back, nodding. finally, he gave an annoyed sigh before getting out of bed.
"goddamn it," he groaned, pulling a cleaner shirt up his head. you rested at his feet watching him put on his clothes. there was something so domestic about the whole scenario. tanyhilll was full of pictures of the two of you, small pieces of the two of you.
finally, as if he realised you were watching him, he scowled looking at you. still in your nightgown with a frenzied look on your face, he seemed to sigh again.
"ah, don't you think you should change?" he murmured, hands skimming over your top. you melted at his touch, practically hopping into his lap with eagerness. he let out a laugh before gently pushing you away, "listen. you gotta change out of that. can't have you looking like that."
you gave him a cheeky smile as if it was the middle of the day instead of three in the morning. somehow you found increasing amounts of energy and rafe was always confused about how you did it all.
"look like what?"
he shook his head, eyes flashing with slight annoyance, "nah. 'm not doing that today. get up bun, 'n go change."
although he sounded demanding you couldn't help but feel your heart drum harder at his words, biting your lip as you pulled on one of his old sweatshirts.
that night you got your burger, and he got you.
please let me know if you'd like to added to the boxer!rafe taglist!!
#boxer!rafe#rafe cameron x you#rafe imagine#rafe outer banks#obx fic#rafe x you#fluff#rafe x reader#rafe cameron#rafe obx#drabble#rafe concepts#boxer!au#shy!reader#bunny!reader#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron imagine#obx rafe cameron#dad!rafe au#dad!rafe#husband!rafe#tw pregancy#rafe cameron x pregnant!reader#rafe cameron prompt
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prison for life - mv1
masterlist ||
Summary:Â The one where if anybody hurts you, Max is going to prison for life.
Pairing:Â max verstappen x pregnant!readerÂ
Word Count:Â 3.9k
Warnings:Â fluff, pregnancy, mentions of throwing up, cursing, kinda angsty in some places, jos verstappen
Authorâs Note:Â hi, hey, hello!! iâve been in such a max mood recently that is actually shocking to me, but i just needed some fluffy anything after working on smutty pieces for weeks. i got this idea in my dream and honestly i think it turned out better than i couldâve imagined!! feedback is always appreciated, and my requests are currently open if you want to check that out, i hope you guys enjoy! good morning, noon or night wherever you are, xoxobee
Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms.Â
If you would have to choose a word to describe Max, it would be âoverprotectiveâ, because thatâs what he is. Itâs not a bad thing, per say. He isnât overbearing or controlling at all, but he is simply overprotective. And if you thought he was overprotective when the two of you were dating or when you first got married, you have to admit that you were not, at all, prepared for his protectiveness when you told him that you were pregnant. Apart from his initial meltdown over becoming a dad, or rather becoming like his own father, Max has been pretty chill about the whole thing â with the exception being your safety, of course. The underlying problem isnât the fact that youâre some sort of daredevil because youâre not, the problem is the fact that Max believes that everything is out to get you.Â
The olives you wanted to eat for breakfast? Choking hazard. Â
The candles you bought for the living room (to be purely decorative, but still)? Fire hazard. Â
The pool lounger Victoria thought would be a cute addition to the pool? Drowning hazard. Â
The seatbelt in his car that is surprisingly tight? Could be all three, according to Max, given the right (or wrong) circumstances. Â
So, yeah, maybe he wasnât that scared of becoming a dad, but he was surely scared of you being in danger. Thatâs why you agreed to stay back for the most races this year â you knew he didnât need to worry about you or your babyâs safety on top of the stress he had to deal with during the usual racing weekend. That was until you realised how much you would miss your boyfriend after almost a month of not seeing him due to a triple header. And so, you did the thing any person with a common sense would do â flying out to see him without telling him beforehand, because whatâs the fun in that? Â
The sheer look of shock on his face might be the funniest thing youâve ever seen when you meet him in his driverâs room, but of course Max doesnât share the same sentiment as you. Because all he chooses to focus is the fact that you were on a plane â a 0.23% risk out of very 7.7 million flights each year, but still. He spends at least half an hour, just checking you over and assuring himself that you and the baby are fine; at some point he decides that you need to go to the nearest hospital to get an ultrasound just to make sure the baby is okay, but you tell him to fuck off and calm his tits down in the kindest way possible. And thatâs how the two of you end up on the small couch in his driverâs room, with his arms around you as you lay between his legs, his hands splayed on the swell of your stomach as he caresses the skin through the fabric of your dress. His voice is low as he tells you about his day, mostly media duties since it is only Thursday, and how he thinks putting a cat tree in the nursery is a bad idea (that was your idea initially, but you can see how having two rumbunctious cats hang out in the nursery could cause problems).Â
âI also thought about something else,â he mumbles, suddenly busying himself with the flower pattern of your dress instead of looking at you. Â
You raise your brows slightly, motioning him to continue, but let out a huff when he doesnât do so right away. âCome on,â you whine softly, âtell me what it is Maxie.â Â
âI donât want him to get into karting.â His words are soft, mumbled, and most definitely final. You know how Max can be when he puts his mind into it, and this particular topic has been a discussion in your household ever since the two of you found out that you were having a boy. âI donât want him to go through what I went through.âÂ
Letting out a soft exhale, you motion Max to six next to you on the couch. âHe wonât,â you assure him, voice soft as you give pleading looks at him, âyouâre not your father, Max.â He gives you a look that basically begs for you to not dwell on the topic, but you continue despite the look he gives you, âAnd what if he wants to get into karting? Are you going to tell him no?âÂ
Max tries his best to ignore the knowing look you give him, knowing very well that he wonât be able to ever say ânoâ to his son, who already has him wrapped around his finger. âI might do that, you never know.â He grumbles, hiding his face in your hair â though the soft giggles coming from you manages to put a soft smile on his face. âYouâre supposed to agree with me, you know, we have to be a united front.â  Â
âWeâll discuss it when the baby comes, until then, Iâll be the voice of reason.â You emphasise, poking him at his bicep to convey your point. âYou feel better now?âÂ
âKinda,â he murmurs, leaving small kisses onto the exposed skin of your shoulder as he keeps on murmuring against your skin, âI would feel better if I knew you stayed in bed all day, relaxing.âÂ
With that, you choke a loud laugh, and motion him to stand up as you try to do it yourself â though, of course, he has to help with the baby bump being in the way of you doing any sort of physical activity. âYouâre funny, letâs go get me ice cream.â Â
The only response you get back is a confused look from your husband, his head tilted to the side as he eyes you warily. âWhat does that have to do with anything?âÂ
âUm, excuse me?â You raise an eyebrow, âYour son,â pointing to your stomach, you emphasise your words, âis craving ice cream right now.â Â
Maxâs eyes soften instantly, and a smile creeps across his face. He nods, taking your hand gently as he helps you up. âWell, if my son wants ice cream, then ice cream he shall have.âÂ
You giggle as you both make your way out of the driverâs room, Max's hand never leaving yours. The paddock is bustling with activity, but for a moment, it feels like it's just the two of you, cocooned in your little world. As you approach the nearest concession stand, Maxâs protective instincts kick in once again. âIs this ice cream stand safe? How long have they been here? Do they have the proper health certifications?âÂ
You roll your eyes playfully. âMax, itâs ice cream, not a five-course meal. Iâm sure itâs fine.â He sighs but nods, deciding to trust your judgment. After all, you did manage to fly all the way here without incident and somehow alerting him. You both get a generous serving of your favourite flavours, and as you sit down to enjoy your treat, you feel a sense of normalcy and contentment wash over you.Â
Max watches you with a tender expression, his eyes filled with a mixture of love and worry. âI know I can be overprotective,â he says softly, reaching out to brush a stray hair from your face, âbut itâs only because I love you so much.âÂ
You smile, leaning into his touch. âI know, Max. And I love you too. But sometimes, you need to trust that everything will be okay. Weâll figure things out together, just like we always do.âÂ
He nods, his gaze shifting to your belly. âYouâre right. I guess I need to talk to my mom.â Â
âWhy?â You ask, tilting your head to the side in curiosity. Â
âWell, she promised me sheâd look after you but youâre here, so I think we need to have a talk about not keeping secrets from each other.â He mumbles, dragging a hand down his face.Â
You laugh, nudging him playfully. âOh, Maxie, who do you think helped me with my bags at the airport? Your mom is unsurprisingly a strong woman.âÂ
He chuckles softly, shaking his head. âI shouldâve known better than to think youâd stay put for a whole month.â He sighs, but thereâs a smile playing on his lips. âAlright, but next time, at least let me know youâre planning something. My heart can only take so much.âÂ
Max feels a lot better after tricking you with ice-cream into at least staying put withing the Red Bull hospitality for the day as he gets through his media duties. Max feels a lot better after tricking you with ice cream into at least staying put within the Red Bull hospitality for the day as he gets through his media duties. He periodically checks in, making sure you're comfortable and well-fed. Each time he sneaks a glance your way, you catch him with a knowing smile and a roll of your eyes, and he returns it with a wink. He knows that there is absolutely no reason for him to be checking on you as much as he does, because youâll be fine in the cool hospitality suite with enough water to keep you hydrated for years, but he canât help but worry about anything and everything going wrong. And his worries prove to be true when he sees the one person who he definitely doesnât want around you. Â
âWhat are you doing here?â He asks the approaching figure, âI thought you were not going to be coming to this race but the next one.â Â
âGiven the drop in your performance in the last few races I thought I should be here for... support.â His dad supplies, eyes finding you behind his sonâs back on one of the couches in the hospitality, âAnd I can see the reason for why youâve been distracted lately, what is she doing here?â Â
Max scoffs, crossing his arms on his chest protectively, âSheâs my wife, she is more than welcome to be here.âÂ
âSheâs also a distraction, Max,â his father points out, âyouâre going to lose your focus if you keepââÂ
Since Max is faster than his father where it matters the most, he cuts him off before he can say anything further. âLeave, I donât want you here.âÂ
Maxâs father looks taken aback, his eyes widening momentarily before they narrow into a scowl. âExcuse me?â he says, his voice low and dangerous.Â
âYou heard me,â Max replies firmly, his stance unwavering. âI donât want you here if youâre going to criticize my wife and stress me out, or worse, stress her out.âÂ
âYouâre being irrational,â his father argues, taking a step closer. âIâm just trying to help you stay focused.â Seeing that his son is not going to back down anytime soon, he points a threatening finger towards him. âIâll be back on race day, but you better be ready to put in a winning performance,â his father finishes, his voice laced with finality. He turns on his heel and walks away, leaving a tense silence in his wake.Â
Max sighs deeply, running a hand through his hair as he watches his father disappear into the crowd. Looking back at you over his shoulder, talking to some interns from the social media team, he canât help but feel the dread of you having to face his father â which gives him another reason to somehow stop the two of you from running into each other during the weekend. Â
On Friday, Maxâs luck decides to do him a favour as you tell him that youâre not feeling well enough to go to the track with him for the qualifying, and though it is true that he wants you to be with him, he also realises that this will give him one less thing to worry about. He knows how stressful it can be for you to navigate the bustling paddock and deal with the crowds, especially with the added pressure of possibly encountering his father.Â
âYou rest up, okay?â he says, his voice full of concern. âI'll be back as soon as I can. If you need anything, just call me.âÂ
You nod, giving him a reassuring smile. âI will, Max. Good luck today. We'll be cheering you on from here.âÂ
Max leans down to kiss your forehead gently as he mumbles into your skin, âI love you.â Â
âI love you too,â you reply, your voice soft and comforting, âbe careful out there, okay?âÂ
Max has one goal throughout qualifying, and to his team principalâs dismay, it is not being on pole. His one and only goal is to get the session done with as quickly as possible and get back to you as soon as he can. After the session ends, he barely waits for the car to come to a stop before jumping out and heading straight for the hospitality suite. His team notices his urgency but knows better than to question it once he tells them heâll pay whatever fine the FIA will give him for missing his interviews.Â
Bursting through the door, Max finds you resting comfortably on the couch, a cup of tea in your hands. The sight of you immediately calms his racing heart. âHey,â he says softly, walking over to sit beside you. âHow are you feeling?âÂ
You smile up at him, still in his team gear and the hat he almost never takes off, the warmth in your eyes easing his worries. âBetter, now that you're here. How did it go?âÂ
âStarting on pole,â he replies, mostly in a mumble, taking your hand in his. âBut all I could think about was getting back to both of you.âÂ
You squeeze his hand, your expression tender. âI'm proud of you, Max. You did great.âÂ
He leans in, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips. âThanks. Let's just relax for the rest of the day, hm? I want to hold you to make sure youâre not getting out of this bed until tomorrow.âÂ
âYou know, I would be happier about this proposal if it was until different circumstances,â you sigh, earning a laugh from him as he pulls you towards his chest, being careful not to spill your tea, of course. Why? Because it is a safety hazard, of course.Â
As you settle back into the bed together, Max feels a sense of relief wash over him. The stress of the day melts away in your presence, and he realizes how much he needs these quiet moments with you to forget all about the outside world and focus his energy on what actually matters instead.Â
The next day, feeling much better, you prepare to join Max at the track for the race. Heâs still concerned but reassured by your determination to support him. As you arrive at the paddock together, Max is more attentive than ever, keeping an eye out for his father in hopes of trying to prevent the two of you running into each other. Navigating through the bustling paddock, Max keeps a protective arm around your waist, and a hand on your bump whenever the two of you stand somewhere talking to someone, guiding you through the throngs of people. His eyes constantly scan the crowd, his jaw set in a determined line. The other drivers and team members greet you warmly, and you return their smiles, feeling the anticipation that surrounds you.Â
âMax, relax a bit,â you whisper, squeezing his hand as you notice the tension in his posture.Â
He glances down at you, his expression softening slightly. âI just want to make sure everythingâs okay.âÂ
âI know,â you reply, reaching up to stroke his cheek, âbut weâre here to enjoy the race and support you. Try to focus on that.âÂ
He nods, taking a deep breath as both of you make your way to the Red Bull hospitality area. The team welcomes you with open arms, and you settle into a comfortable spot where you can watch the preparations for the race. He asks one of the interns to keep an eye on you, which he thought he was being sly whilst doing it, but you of course catch him in the corner of your eye. Thatâs when you realise the man walking towards him, your eyes meeting in nothing short of disdain for each other. Â
You stiffen slightly, your hand tightening around Maxâs hand as he turns just in time to see his father approaching, his protective instincts kicking into high gear as he lets go of your hand and decides to wrap his arm around you protectively instead.Â
âMax,â Jos says, his tone neutral but carrying an underlying condescension. âWe need to talk before your race begins, walk with me.âÂ
Max's grip tightens around you for a moment before he reluctantly loosens his hold. âWhat is it, Dad?â he asks, his voice steady but tinged with irritation.Â
Jos's eyes flicker to you before focusing back on Max. âI wanted to discuss strategy, but I can see this isn't a good time.âÂ
Max's jaw clenches, his protective instincts on high alert. âIf it's important, we can talk here. Iâm not leaving her side.â Â
Jos sighs, clearly frustrated. âFine, if that's how you want it.âÂ
Maxâs arm remains firmly around you as his father steps closer. âMake it quick,â Max insists, his tone leaving no room for argument. If other people were to see your eyes moving from one Verstappen to the other, theyâd probably think you are watching a tennis match, though the situation in front of you is certainly more tense than that.Â
Jos glances at you once more before addressing Max. âI just wanted to remind you to stay focused. Pole position is a great start, but you need to keep your head in the race.âÂ
Max's eyes narrow, and he lets out a scoff, âI know how to do my job, no need for reminder. Anything else?âÂ
Jos shakes his head, his expression a mix of disappointment and resignation. âJust donât let distractions cost you the win.âÂ
âWhat is that supposed to mean?â Max hisses, taking a step towards his father as he gently pushes you behind himself. You have to put a hand against his chest to slow him down, though that doesnât prove to be a sufficient prevention method. âI already told you; she is my wife, and he is not going anywhere so you better get that into that damaged brain of yours.âÂ
âMax,â you try to plead with him, âplease, not before your race.â Â
He gives you a look over his shoulder for a short moment before turning back towards his father. His jaw is set as he looks at the man in front of him. âIâll only tell you this one more time. When sheâs here with me, you donât show up. If you do show up, you donât come near her, you donât talk to her, you donât even look at her.â Another step taken towards his father has you tightening your hold on him, but he still manages to convey his message. âTry something like this again, and you wonât be in my life anymore let alone my sonâs.âÂ
Jos's lips press into a thin line, his eyes darting to you briefly before settling back on Max. âFine,â he repeats, his tone colder. âJust remember whatâs at stake every time you get behind the wheel.âÂ
Max stands his ground, his eyes locked onto his father's, unwavering. âI know exactly what's at stake, and I don't need you reminding me. Now, if youâll excuse us, we have a race to focus on.âÂ
Max stands his ground, his eyes locked onto his father's, unwavering. âI know exactly what's at stake, and I don't need you reminding me. Now, if youâll excuse us, we have a race to focus on.â
Itâs not the first time Max has stood up to his father, not by any means. But you can tell that this time affects him in a different way. The weight of the words exchanged and the implications for their future relationship linger in the air. You can feel the tension radiating from Max as he watches his father walk away, and it takes a moment for him to relax his posture and turn back to you. âPlease tell me something that will calm me down so I donât somehow do something that would put me to jail.â
âOkay,â you singsong, quickly positioning yourself in front of him so that you can fix him with a strict look on your face. âYou are not doing something that will put you into prison, period.â
âIâm going to need a very good reason because all I want to do right now is follow him to his car and punch him.â Unfortunately for you, the way his jaw is set is a telling sign that, no, Max would actually do something like this given the circumstances.
âThere is no sim racing in prison.â You try to provide, giving him a weak smile. Â
Max's lips twitch into a small, reluctant smile at your words, the tension in his jaw easing slightly. âNo sim racing in prison, huh? Do you honestly think that would keep me from doing something stupid?âÂ
âI panicked!â You exclaim, hitting him on his chest lightly as he laughs at you silently. âHow are you supposed to help me raise our son,â you point to your stomach to emphasise your point, âif youâre in prison, huh?â
Max's smile grows wider, the tension in his posture finally starting to melt away. âOkay, okay, youâve got a point,â he says, placing his hands on your shoulders and looking into your eyes. âI need to be here for both of you. But itâs so damn hard to ignore him.âÂ
You reach up and cup his face in your hands, your eyes soft and filled with understanding. âI know, but youâre stronger than him. And you have more important things to focus on. Like winning this race and getting me more ice cream on our way back to the hotel.âÂ
He takes a deep breath, nodding slowly as he lets out a soft chuckle. âYouâre right. I canât let him get to me. Not today.âÂ
âExactly,â you say, giving him a reassuring smile, âI usually am.âÂ
Max laughs, the sound lightening the mood even more. âYes, you usually are,â he agrees, pulling you closer for a brief kiss. âThank you for always knowing how to calm me down.âÂ
âThatâs what Iâm here for,â you say, resting your forehead against his. âNow, go out there and show everyone what you can do. Weâll celebrate with ice cream afterward.âÂ
âDeal,â he replies, his eyes twinkling with affection and determination. With one last squeeze, he lets you go and turns towards his team, his focus now fully on the race ahead. âBut I feel like I need to let you know that I would definitely go to prison for life for you.âÂ
You laugh, shaking your head. âDonât you have a race to win, Verstappen?âÂ
He grins, giving you one last kiss before heading off to prepare for the race, giving you a grin over his shoulder as he starts to move away, âSo, Iâll get the rest of that kiss after the race, then?âÂ
âYeah, Max,â you let out a breathy laugh, your eyes not leaving his for a moment, âafter the race!âÂ
#monzabee#requests open#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 smut#formula 1#fanfic#f1 x reader#f1 x you#f1 x y/n#max verstappen#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen imagine#imagine#fluff#angst#smut#max verstappen fluff
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Imagine a villain straight refusing to fight another member of the Hero Team just cuz his hero archnemesis is not present
"Where are they?"
"Oh, not again." The protagonist could feel a headache coming on. "Look-"
"-Are they hurt?" The villain's eyes went dark and dangerous. "Who hurt them?"
"They're fine! Oh my god."
"Then where are they?"
The protagonist definitely had a headache. "It's their day off."
"They didn't tell me they had the day off. What's wrong?"
The really concerning part was that the hero probably would tell the villain which days they were working and which they weren't. The two of them were as bad as each other! The hero was going to be unbearable when they came back and found out that the team had fought the villain without them.
"Can we just get this over with?" the protagonist tried.
"No."
The protagonist sighed. They pinched the bridge of their nose and took a few deep breaths. "Okay," they said slowly. "But you realise I'm still going to have confiscate your nightmare robot."
"It's not for you. And don't think I didn't notice you dodging the question!"
The protagonist considered their options; lies, truth, everything in between.
The villain's nightmare robot hunkered down a little more pointedly in the middle of the bridge. Several people honked their horns. It was, honestly, embarrassing for everyone involved at that point.
"Their grandma died."
"Oh no." The villain's whole face softened. "Grandma L or Grandma P?"
Of course he knew the hero's grandparents. Of course he did. "Look, about the robot-"
"-I'll reschedule," the villain said.
"I can't let you keep the robot. My boss would have my head."
"That sounds like a 'you' problem. I have flowers to send."
The protagonist's eye twitched. "If you try and walk away with it-"
"-Do you really want to traumatize this entire bridge of innocent civilians?"
"I'm sure they're traumatized having to listen to you two idiots on a weekly basis."
"I'm taking the robot. When are they back?"
"They haven't said," the protagonist said, through gritted teeth. "As you know-"
"-They'll be doing all the funeral arrangements. Yeah. You know what, give me their number. I'll text them."
"I'm not giving you their number."
"Why not?"
"It's against policy."
"I'd like to express my condolences."
The protagonist looked them dead in the face. "Mm. That sounds like a 'you' problem. I have a robot to confiscate."
The robot slammed a fist into the bridge. It wobbled precariously.
The protagonist raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. They folded their arms across their chest.
"You're a real piece of work, you know that?" the villain snarled.
"I hate you too, don't worry."
"I should kill you."
"They'd have so much paperwork when they got back from the funeral. It would really improve their month, you killing me."
They ended up glaring at each other.
"If I give you the bloody stupid robot, will you give me their number?"
The protagonist smiled sweetly. "That's the only smart thing I've ever heard you say."
Everyone, generally, preferred it when the hero was around.
They all made sure it didn't happen again.
#heroes and villains#villains and heroes#hero x villain#villain x hero#short story#writing snippet#story snippet#ficlet#villains#heroes#idiots in love
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Rio x fem!reader (fluff and/or hurt comfort plz)
not good enough || rio vidal x fem!reader
summary; you meet your love again after one hundred years
warnings; agatha all along ep 7 spoilers, canon character death, reader has a small injury, kissing, pining, reader and rio are both kinda idiots, rio and reader are both touchy w each other, main story set after first witches road trial, rio and agatha are not romantically involved
rio vidal had been the only constant friend youâd had in your whole life, but your situation was quite complicated. you were a centuries old witch and, whist technically she was too, she was also death personified, meaning she had a lot of work to do. your friend wasnât around much, leaving you alone a lot. sometimes you wouldnât see her for sixty or seventy years at a time. this time, it had been a lot longer than that. that fact tended to leave a pit in your stomach, especially considering your last interaction.
1924
you were sitting in your cabin, your best friend lying next to you, the pair of you giggling into the night, until you were both facing each other. it was very clear that the energy had shifted from lighthearted fun, to something else entirely. in all honesty, it sort of made you feel uneasy, but then again everything rio ever did brought up that feeling. it made most people withdraw from her company, but it only intrigued you more.
currently, her eyes were fixed on yours. you held her gaze. it was clear she was fighting with herself internally to keep her eyes off of your lips, but after a few moments of tension-filled silence, she gave in, her eyes darting to your cherry red lips for only a split second, before you licked them and her eyes darted back up to meet yours once again. it was now that you had realised the position that you had been laying in, your hand lazily on her waist whilst hers rested on top wearily. you moved your hand up, with an uncertain energy, as if one wrong move would ruin what was happening. you moved your hand up to her neck, rubbing it gently, and then up to her face as you caressed it gently. her hand has moved more confidently on to your waist, as she squeezed it lightly. you had hoped she hadnât caught your breath hitch, but the ghost of a smirk on her face told you that she absolutely had. you could feel her breath, hot and shaky on your face. your hand moved to play with her hair, and with a final burst of confidence, you leaned in to kiss her. just as your lips met hers, you were apart again. she moved her hands from you quickly and jolted to sit up in bed. you looked at her again, but the expression on her face was not one you were familiar with.
ârio, iâm sorry-â you began. what had you just done?
âi have to go.â she whispered, and just like that it was almost as if she were never there.
2026
it was today that your lovely acquaintance, agatha harkness, had decided to make herself your problem as she practically forced you down the witches road. you didnât really know why youâd shown up, considering the last time you walked the road together she almost you you slashed into a million pieces, but you went along anyway. when you arrived at her extremely un-agatha like house, you were met with a ragtag group of witches and one random lady that you were sure that the rest of the coven had also noticed. unfortunately the woman had passed away during your first trial, and you were left angrier at agatha than you were before, because she couldâve got you all killed by not drinking that wine. you were ready to force it down her throat at one point.
one of the witches, a tall woman dressed head to toe in pink, had suggested summoning a green witch to the road, since they didnât actually have one. none of you seemed against the idea, and so thatâs exactly what you did. had you known what was going to happen mere moments later, youâd have an entirely different opinion.
agathaâs coven all stood still anticipating the arrival of the new green witch, you were a bit less interested, just wanting to leave, and so were not fully paying attention until a single hand shot up from under the ground. a hand that, embarrassingly, you still recognised. the pit that formed in your stomach was one youâd never felt, and it got so much worse when her full figure came into view. she hadnât aged a day, well she had, sheâs aged over a hundred years, but she still looked exactly the same as she did that night in the cabin. as she introduced herself, you hid yourself from view behind the lady dressed in pink, jen, who youâd decided was the only tolerable one here, but it was no use. she had seen you.
ây/nâŠâ she smirked. this earned looks from the whole coven, considering her dramatic entrance.
âi have to go.â
you felt ill as you turned your heel and walked swiftly in the other direction. âmaybe this is my trial?â you thought hopefully, praying that youâd turn around and the coven would all be dressed in hideous outfits that the road had picked out for them, but no, when you turned around, you were met by the hypnotic gaze of rio.
ây/nâŠâ she began, âbeen a while.â
âdonât.â you snapped, âdonât even try.â
âwhatâs the problem?â she asked, feigning innocence.
âwhatâs the problem? rio its been over a hundred years.â you spat, malice dripping from your tone. she seemed to enjoy it.
âiâve been⊠busy.â she replied playfully.
you didnât respond.
carefully, she waded over to you, placing a hand on your lower back and using the other to grab your face to look at her.
not breaking eye contact, she brought her hand down to your collarbone, dragging her fingertips along a gash that youâd received from broken glass in the trial. you shuddered at the coldness of her touch. it brought you back to that night, because the only time youâd ever felt her heat up, was when your hand was on her face in the cabin.
her eyes met yours once again and she smiled gently, the same smile sheâd smiled all those years ago, before leaning into you.
ârio.â you mumbled, stopping her. you looked up at her with conflicted eyes.
âcome on,â she whispered, âlook me in the eyes and tell me you feel nothing for me.â
âwell clearly thatâs not the case, rio, is it?â you spat, fighting the tears that were threatening to spill.
âso whatâs the problem?â she asked, both hands now on your face.
âyou shut me down the last time, remember?â you spoke, trying your best to drill into her head what she had done to you. âand then you think if you show up here a hundred years later and give me a kiss itâs all gonna be okay?â
âdo you know why i left that night?â she whispered, dragging a cold hand into your hair, your eyes threatening to close at her action.
âoh, please, lady death, enlighten me! why did you leave me for a hundred years?â you asked, sarcasm lacing your tone. you caught her slight demeanor change at the use of her title, but it faded quickly.
âi was scared.â
and you couldnât help but let yourself laugh humourlessly in her face.
âof what, rio, tell me what you were so scared of.â
âthat i wasât good enough for you.â she replied, talking to the floor.
âdonât, youâll set me off again.â wiping tears of laughter from your flushed cheeks.
she didnât say anything.
âoh.â was all you could muster, âyouâre serious?â
she could only nod.
subconsciously your hands wrapped around her waist, before they traveled up to her face.
âwell youâre wrong.â you whispered, as she leaned into your touch.
âam i?â she asked, being more serious than youâd ever saw her.
âplease, trust me, youâre the only one good enough for me, rio.â you replied, eyes never leaving hers.
âis that right?â she smirked, her confident demeanour reappearing.
âwould i have said it if it wasnât?â you smiled.
âso are you gonna let me kiss you now, orâŠâ rio smirked, one hand grabbing at your waist, the other fidgeting with a strand of your hair.
âcome here, you idiot.â you giggled, as you pulled her closer to you, and she grabbed your face to close the gap between you. kissing rio was a difficult feeling to describe, the best way you could would be to say that itâd be the same feeling youâd experience if you set foot in antarctica with no jacket, but it didnât bother you, as long as you could do this again.
#rio vidal x reader#agatha harkness x reader#agatha all along#agatha coven of chaos#agatha harkness x you#agatha x reader#agatha harkness#rio vidal#rio vidal x you#rio vidal x y/n#one shot#request#elâs inbox đ#aubrey plaza#aubrey plaza x reader#fic#my fic#agatha all along spoilers
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dealing with it- chef luca
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gif from @ wiha-jun
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summary: you see carmen for the first time in years, things happen, but at least your husband is there for you :)
pairings: chef luca x fem! reader, EX carmen berzatto x reader
warnings: smoking, cursing, reader endorses smoking (it makes sense i promise), toxic relationships, fighting, happy ending, luca is a cutie pie, carm is an ass :(
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Carmen had been staring at you the whole night. You, standing diligently beside your mother, and Luca.Â
When dinner came and you sat beside Luca again, the question begged to leave his mouth, but he decided on waiting and watching.Â
âSo Y/n,â Sydney turned to you. âI would love to literally pick your brain apart for the inspo of your last cookbook.â
You chuckled. âWell, Luca and I went all around the world on our honeymoon and-â
âWhat?â Carmen choked on his drink. âS-sorry did I fucking hear that right? Honeymoon?â
Luca sighed deeply, the energy at the table shifting. âYes Carm, she said âhoneymoonâ.â
Honeymoon. You and Luca were married. Married and he didnât even know it. Married, and he hadnât even known that his last chance had been his last chance.Â
You were Chef Andreaâs daughter, and you were everyoneâs forbidden fruit. You worked with them, trained with them, and Carmen had been so deeply interested in you, that he broke the rules. He went after you, and he didnât even feel bad about it. Youâd started out dating in secret, then slowly warmed your mom up to the idea, and suddenly it was out in the open. Sure youâd had fights and sure, maybe it wasnât the most healthy relationship ever, but Carmen loved you. He still did. When it fell apart, it was all Carmenâs fault (as usual) and youâd sworn off chefs.Â
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âFucking hell Bear! Iâm asking you to do this one fucking thing for me, and itâs too fucking hard?â You shouted at the top of your lungs. âI love you! I moved to fucking Coppenhagen for you! I moved to fucking New York for you! What is your problem with me taking a job in London?! I can probably get you into the same place-â
âNO! No, I fucking donât alright? Youâre fucking- youâre fucking boring! You never make anything new- youâre so f-fucking obsessed with being the-the-the best at something that you wonât even try to innovate!â
You stood there, in his kitchen and he watched as the tears fell. He took a deep breath and stepped closer, holding your waist in his hands. He tried not to be offended or upset when you went rigid as he touched you, but he felt his heart break. âBaby I-Iâm sorry, look, yâknow Iâm sorry-âÂ
âYouâre a piece of shit Carm. Just because Iâm better than you doesnât mean you get to talk to me like that. Weâre not fucking trainees at my momâs restaurant anymore, alright? Iâm fucking better than you and i know it boils your fucking blood. I got this position. All on my own,â you spat. âYou are the lowest of the low Carm. I swear to fucking god, if I ever date another chef again, kill me.â
And with that, you walked out. Out of his apartment and out of his life.Â
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âW-wait so-s-, you two got married? Since when?â Carmen laughed, but it was wrong. It was forced and haunted, strange. Â
âSince the 14th of July last year,â Luca smiled and you pressed a kiss to his cheek.
âCongratulations guys,â Sydney smiled. âCarm, say congratulations,â she whispered and Carm nodded furiously.
âYeah! Yeah- congratulations to the liar and her shitty douchebag of a husband!â He cheered, gathering the attention of the other tables.Â
âStop making a fucking scene Carm,â your voice cut through the ringing in his ears. âThis isnât about you. This is about my mom, and what this restaurant meant to people. Stop. Being. An. Asshole.â
He felt like heâd been effectively bitch slapped, and he quietened down, but not before kicking Luca under the table.Â
Theyâd both been after you, back in the day. And youâd picked Carm at first, and realised your mistake. When you met Luca in London, you werenât going to mess it up again. 3 years later, you were a year married, and a lot happier. Too bad Carmen had to make everything about himself, again.
He went out to get some âairâ a little while later, and you followed him.Â
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âSoâŠâ you sighed, standing beside him. âHi.â
âHi,â he sighed. He watched as you took a cigarette out and lit it, then offered one to him. He shook his head.Â
âYou quit?â You asked, blowing the smoke away from him. He nodded. âYou should start again.â
He looked at you in confusion. âWhat?â
âYou shouldnât stop, youâre fucking crazy when you donât smoke,â you chuckled, though everything you said was true. Heâd tried to give it up for a month about 4 months into your relationship and it was the most stressful month of your life. You sighed as you thought about it. Every time he was rude to someone, you apologised for him. Every time he fucked something up, you made it up for him. Every time he did something stupid, you made it smart somehow. It was fucked up how much he relied on you, when you thought about it in hindsight. âEveryone will thank you.â
He laughed. âI guess that was a shitty month, huh?â
âOne of the worst of my life,â you admitted.Â
There was a moment of silence.Â
âI miss it,â He admitted.Â
âSmoking? You can have the rest of this pack-â
âUs.â
You sighed. âYou were doing so well,â you joked. âJust donât bring it up Carm, we donât need to dig up the past.â
âI want to,â he pleaded.Â
âI donât,â you scoffed. âThereâs nothing for us to talk about, nothing about us worked, nothing about us was ok, or normal, or happy, or-â
âDoes he make you happy?â Carmen asked, venom in his tone. âDoes he make you feel fuckinâ-fuckinâ butterflies? Does he fuck you like I did? D-does he even see you the way I did? Does he make you laugh?â
âHe doesnât make me cry,â you smiled softly, thinking of Luca and how much you truly loved him. âHe doesnât make me question our relationship everyday. He doesnât make me feel untalented and undeserving. He doesnât make me feel used. He met me in London when I was crushed after our break-up, and he healed something he didnât break in me, alright? He made me feel loved for the first time in a long time. My mom fucking loves him, a lot more than she liked you. He let me take everything at my own pace, and he never pushed me into something I wasnât ready for. He wasnât afraid to show his love for me to anyone! He didnât make me question if we were even dating, ever! And the best part is, he fucking married me Carm, in this gorgeous ceremony where he cried while I came down the aisle and he cried during his vows. Do you want to know what his vows were? Ask him when we get inside, because he got his and mine fucking tattooed on his arm!â You were welling up at this stage. âHe stood there with me, through thick and fucking thin, he made me feel loved when I felt unlovable, Carmen. And yes he gives me butterflies, yes he fucks me better than you ever did, and he sees me for who I am. So yes, he makes me very fucking happy Carmen.â
Carmen stood there for a moment, then nodded. âI still love you, you know that, right?â
You scoffed, stamping out your cigarette. âYou might want to get over that,â and you turned away, and walked back into the dinner. The rest of the dinner was quick, and you skipped the invite to Sydneyâs to retire to your hotel room. You sat on the bed, makeup wipes in hand as you tried to wash the night off of you.Â
âHey darling,â Lucaâs soft voice cut through the thoughts clouding your mind. âDo you want to talk about it?â
You smiled as he wrapped you up in a bear hug from behind, he was so perfect, so kind, so Luca. âSure.â
âI heard a little bit of what you said to Carmy outside.â
You took a deep breath. âYeah?â
âYeah,â he sighed. âBefore tonight, I was really fucking scared that when you found Carmy heâd somehow convince you I was a piece of shit and heâd sink his fucking claws into you again.â
You pressed a kiss to his arm and nodded. âHeâs fuckingâŠâ
âHeâs the worst,â he finished for you. âAnd Iâm sorry about what he said tonight. He shouldâve had the fucking manners to at least let us get to the third course before he started being a piece of shit.â
You both laughed, and you felt all the tension you held in slowly dissipate. âIt was so delicious.â
âIt was fucking amazing,â he pressed a kiss to your cheek. âYou mum really did something special there.â
âAt least weâll see her more in London,â you shrugged. âI really loved that place.â
âSo did I,â He sighed against your neck. âRemember training there? God, you were so fucking cute in your chefâs hat-â
âHats make me look stupid!â You argued, but laughed regardless. You flung his arms off of you, and a wrestling match ensued, one that ended with him under you. You pressed a soft kiss to his lips, then he deepened it, his hands sneaking up your thighs and around your head.Â
âYou look good in anything,â he whispered. âBut my favourite thing you ever wore was your wedding dress.â
When you pulled away from his lips you saw the starry-eyed smile and sincere look on his face, and you knew you made the right choice.Â
Luca was your everything. Carmen was nothing now, and he had to live with that.
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#chef luca x reader#chef luca#the bear#will poulter#luca x reader#luca the bear#luca the bear x reader#carmy berzatto#the bear s3#carmen berzatto#carmen berzatto x reader#carmen berzatto x you#the bear fx#the bear season 3
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Crash Course in Love âą 3
pairing: snowboard instructor!Jungkook x ex-gf!reader (feat. platonic OT6) genre: rom-com, Exes 2 Lovers, slow-burn, angst rating: 18+, MDNI warnings: strong language, slow burn, angst, tension, bad communication skills, heartbreak, hangover, doubts, emotional rollercoaster, fight against nature, being stranded, crying, verbal fighting and screaming, explicit sexual content, bit of dry humping, fingering, scissoring, unprotected sex, breast play, hickeys, scratch marks, love bites, lmk if I forgot smth word count: 15.3k
a/n: i'm absolutely knackered now, completely worn out. BUT it was sooooo worth it lol hope y'all enjoy it to the fullest bc next update probably won't be until the new year...sooooo...have funnnn!
a/n 2: This work is purely fictional. All characters and events are entirely imaginary and do not reflect reality. No translations are allowed without permission. Thank you for understanding! đ
01 âą 02 âą masterlist âą 04
Day 4
âFuck.â
You think youâve woken up in hellâit must beâbecause, oh god, you feel like death. Your eyes are crusted shut, and you canât feel your legs. But as you rub the sleep out of your eyes and prop yourself up on your elbows, you realise itâs just Namjoon lying across them, snoring away.
You try to take in the room, piecing together the hazy puzzle of last night. The party, the song, you running off only to drown yourself with Yoongi and Namjoon in alcohol, throwing your own little after-party. You remember crying, remember singing your heart out to sad love songs blaring through Dionysus. What a fucking mess youâve becomeâŠ
But after all that chaos, thereâs only blackness. And seeing Yoongi and Namjoon still here with you in the suite, all of you fully dressed and reeking of alcohol, tells you enough. And as you groan, not just from the bottomless pit of stupidity, but from the pounding in your head, you let yourself collapse back onto your pillow.
You fight back another wave of tears, wishing the last 24 hours could just be erased, wishing you were back at home. You fumble blindly for your phone, finding it on the nightstand nearby.
2:56 p.m.
Just brilliant. Though, at least youâre spared from spending the whole day on the slopes. Not that youâd be able to walk straight with how youâre feeling, but a winâs a win.
You need to get up, though, so you start stirring both men awake. Yoongiâs not blocking you, but if youâre up, he has to be as well. Much to your surprise, both of them wake without protest, getting themselves into a sitting position on the bed, looking like zombies straight out of The Walking Dead. You reckon you look about the same.
âSorry,â Namjoon mumbles as you begin massaging some blood back into your legs, which feel like theyâre fighting for dear life.
âSâalright,â you croak out, unable to manage much more.
âPainkillers.â Yoongi just sits there, staring at his blanket, the rise and fall of his chest the only proof heâs still alive, though barely.
You and Namjoon both nod, but no one actually moves until, eventually, Namjoon risesâslowly, hands leaving the mattress only at the last second before he somehow straightens up and makes his way to the door, though itâs anything but a straight line.
Youâre the second to get up, staggering into the bathroom to wash off everything clinging to you. Youâre not sure if itâs just dried sweat or a bit of alcohol still on your skin, though you have a vague memory of Tae pouring something over your back. Either way, youâre in desperate need of a full shower to feel human again.
The only upside to this hangover is that your mind has finally shut up. Every bit of energy is focused on basic bodily functions, like breathing without throwing up and blinking your bloodshot eyes now and then. Youâre not even fazed when Yoongi stumbles in, taking a piss that seems to go on forever; he clearly couldnât give a fuck, and neither can you.
When youâve finished rinsing your hair and are wrapped in a towel thatâs too soft to absorb any actual moisture, you quietly switch places with Yoongi, both of you unintentionally making a point not to make eye contact.
Youâre not entirely sure why youâre still hereânot just in this town but on this entire trip. Thereâs no real drive left in you to give Jungkook closure, no fight in you at all, and definitely no desire to ever see him again.
So, you decide to get the hell out of here. Not right this second, no, your blood alcohol is likely still sky-high and will take a nosedive soon, taking you down with it, but tomorrow, youâre leaving. Itâs the healthiest thing you could do, because frankly, you lost Jungkook years ago, and that realisation sobers you up more than anything else could.Â
It doesnât stir the same emotions it once did as you pull Jungkookâs old hoodie out of your luggageâor maybe youâre just too tired to careâas you tug the oversized black fabric over your head, the only comfortable thing youâd brought on this trip. Some leggings on, with your phone stuffed into the front pocket of the hoodie, you make your way to the main area, letting your eyes roam to maybe spot your missing phone case.
Jungkookâs already lounging in a single armchair, poking absently at the fire with an iron stick, his gaze tracking you as you move around the room. But you ignore him. Itâs not like youâre being petty this time, and he can probably tell from your posture that youâre just not in the mood to interact at all.
Youâre especially glad he doesnât mention yourâor rather, hisâhoodie, and when you give up the search, realising the case isnât lying around here either, you shuffle over to the sofa, collapsing onto it and immediately pulling out your phone. Scrolling through YouTube, you pull the hoodieâs hood down a bit further to block out Jungkook entirely, settling on a spa video promising a very satisfying blackhead extraction.
If your lifeâs this miserable, youâre at least going to give yourself this kind of satisfaction, even if itâs short-lived. And anyway, there are millions of similar videos waiting for you and your lonely ass.Â
Namjoon emerges midway through your video, nudging your legs to make space for him. You shift, but only to let your legs settle in his lap as soon as he sits down.
âHere,â he offers, handing you two painkillers, which you take like theyâre sweets, chewing them up so they might kick in faster. He pulls a disgusted face, but it quickly fadesâprobably canât be bothered to waste any energy as well.Â
âJimin brought food,â Jungkook breaks the silence, still poking at the fire. âShould I get you some?â
Youâre not sure if heâs talking to you or Namjoon, but you answer anyway. âIâm good, thanks.â
Maybe he expected a different answer, as his stick pauses for a moment, but you couldnât care less. The chance to talk things out has passed, along with your will. Itâs on him now. Youâve seen and heard enough.
âWhy did you leave the party so early?â he tries again.
âIt was because of me, I justââ
You cut Namjoon off; he really doesnât need to do this for you. âStop lying, I wanted to leave, and Namjoon and Yoongi didnât want me to be alone.â
âWhy?â
You pause your video, turning to meet Jungkookâs eyes. Heâs bouncing his leg and chewing on his lip ring again, but itâs not your problem if heâs anxious or whatever. âNone of your business.â
Namjoon gives your knee a slight squeeze, and while Jungkook turns his attention back to the flames like youâre the one whoâs hurt him, he can go fuck himself. Youâre not dealing with him right now. Not when heâs got Hara pregnant and sings love songs for her.Â
Yoongi enters at that moment, settling into the armchair beside Jungkook and just managing to catch the two painkillers Namjoon tosses his way.
Silence returns, and you restart your video, losing yourself in the meditative extractions.
âCan I get a haaaawyeah?!â Tae bursts into the hostel, bringing Hope and Hara with him. Three of the four present groan in agony at the sudden noise, and youâre one of them. Still, you shift to sit up, making room for them to join.
Youâre not sure why Hara chooses to sit next to you, quietly handing over a takeaway box of food with that warm, familiar smile of hersâyou know itâs got to be from Jinâs.Â
âIâm not hungry,â you mumble, the bite you had a few minutes ago already feeling like it never had been there to begin with.
âPlease, eat something. Your body needs it.â
Sheâs right, but you canât bring yourself to even lift the lid, staring blankly at it as if itâll somehow reveal yet another surprise youâre not ready for. You know itâs not Haraâs fault youâre feeling like this, or that Jungkook chose her, but right now, all you can feel is bitterness, and her kindness only multiplies it.
Almost unconsciously, you glance up and find Jungkookâs eyes fixed on you, his leg still bouncing lightly, clearly tuned out from the lively conversation between the other guys.
Youâve kept this empty space in your heart reserved for him for so long, never realising heâd never fill it again. You just donât have the energy for this anymore, the will to keep playing his game where he pulls you back into his world only to remind you youâre no longer really part of it. Not properly.
You wonder if Jungkook even realises what heâs doing, if he has any clue about how his actions come across. Or maybe heâs just as stuck as you, caught up in his patterns and too blind to see beyond them. The care and worry in his eyes when he looks at you, when he notices you making poor choices for your healthâmaybe, you reason, itâs just because he doesnât know how to be any other way and nothing more.Â
But thatâs the thing about Jungkook: he genuinely cares. And thatâs why heâs going to be the best dad on this earthâjust not to your children.
âIâm really not hungry.â You think you see Jungkookâs jaw tick just a bit, but he again chooses to say nothing, his gaze, though, never wavering from you.
âI didnât mean to, but damn, that woman was something else,â Tae bursts, sprawled on the floor in front of you, accidentally nudging your knee as he laughs with the others.
âWho?â you ask, trying to tune into the conversation just to get away from the other.Â
âThat woman who was sitting by the bar all night. Tae pulled her,â Hope bursts out laughing, especially at your disgusted, shocked face.
âWas she any good?â Namjoon inquires, like itâs the most normal thing to ask about a one-night stand.
âWhat can I say? She taught me things I didnât even know existed.â
Yep, that infoâs enough to make you gag for real, and judging by Yoongi and Jungkookâs expressions, theyâre feeling the same.
âWant some?â you offer Yoongi the box, hoping to steer the conversation away fromâŠwhatever this is. But he just shakes his head, clearly not ready to risk upsetting his stomach as well.Â
Heâs pale as it is, and you can see the colour drain from his already bloodshot eyes at the sight of food. Poor man.Â
âJungkook, you hungry?â Hara offers softly, and you canât help but glance at him again.Â
His bouncing leg stills the instant she speaks to him. And even though itâs trueâJungkook can eat like a bottomless pit, never saying no to foodâyou donât really want to interact with him right now. But, some things havenât changed at all it seems, like you not being able to say no when it comes to him.Â
Jungkook looks at you with those big, hopeful eyes, as if to say just eat it yourselfâheâd never, like all those years ago, take food from you when itâs clear youâre barely eating yourself. But you just canât, and with that, you get up, lean over the small coffee table separating you both, and offer him the box with both hands, a small, shaky smile on your face.
Jungkook stands up too, reaching for the food between you. You think heâll just take it, but his hands cover yours, brushing over them until they settle on the container, and then, finally, he takes it. It catches you off guard, not just because he touched you first and not the box, but because it was absolutely deliberate.
Why he did it, you donât know, but all you can think about is getting away fast before all your bottled-up emotions explode in your face.
âCanâŠuhâŠcan someone drive me to the nearest petrol station?â you ask, standing there rooted to the spot, feeling your cheeks burn with embarrassment as everyone looks up at you.
Jungkookâs half a mind to put the box back on the table and get up again, but Hope springs up from his spot beside Taehyung, fishing his keys from his pocket. âIâve got you.â
âThanks, Iâll just get ready.â You cast him a quick, grateful look and head to your room, eyes down.
Hope just saved you there, because if Jungkook had offered to drive, you donât know what youâd have done. Sure, you want him to be happyâyouâre not some heartless person who wishes bad things on people, especially those who areâŠwereâŠclose to you.
 But what about your happiness? Donât you deserve to find peace too? To protect yourself? So yes, youâll take every bit of help you can get, even if itâs just a lift to the petrol station.
You didnât mean to startle so violently when you turned to close the suite door, but honestly, you hadnât even heard Hara following you, moving soundlessly like a ghost.
âCâŠcan I help you?â Youâre gripping the door until your knuckles turn white under your sweater paws, the door not even fully open anymore.
âCan I come in?â
Itâs like something out of a nightmare, knowing you canât turn her away just because Haraâs never done anything to hurt you. You have to remind yourself again and again that sheâs not the villain here, chanting it silently in your head, trying to drown out the hurt that wonât go away whenever you look at her.
So, you nod, opening the door a bit wider, then turn around to let her in and busy yourself with âlookingâ for your phone case, just so you donât have to face her.
âAre you okay?â
Her words break through the sound of the bedding as you give it a shake, hoping your case might fall out, but of course it doesnât. Just like the right answer isnât coming to you now, not to her question.
Maybe youâre okay, as okay as you can be. Maybe youâre not. Either way, youâre definitely not making her your therapistânot when sheâs involved in all this stupid mess.Â
âYeah, sure. Are you?â
âYeah, the sickness finally went away. I just hope I start to show soonâitâs getting weird at this point.â
You move around the room, checking every corner, stopping only when you spot an edge of your phone case outside on the porch, half-buried in the snow beside the jacuzzi.
âHow far along are you?â
âSeventeenth weekâŠweâll find out the gender soon.â Thereâs a subtle cheer in her voice that makes your heart soften for a moment.
It must be incredible to be expecting, especially to finally know the babyâs gender and go a bit mad with shopping. Youâre sure youâd be the same, and Hara likely will be, too.
You glance her way, offering a small, warm smile before opening the door to the porch. âGot a feeling what itâll be?â
Hara comes closer to the door as you step outside, staying in the warmth while leaning against the frame. âYes? No? Maybe?â She laughs. âSome days I swear itâs a boy, and then others Iâm convinced itâs a girl. Tomorrowâs the appointment, soâŠI hope mini-me reveals its gender and isnât shy.â
You giggle, fishing the icy case out of the snow and brushing off the clinging flakes. As you come back inside, Hara moves aside, settling herself on the edge of the bed while you grab a discarded shirt of Yoongiâs to dry the case off.
âHeyâŠuhâŠI donât quite know how to start this, butâŠI know youâre not doing alright.â
The glance you throw her way is wary rather than hostile, but still, you donât want a pep talk from her.
âPlease, just talk to each other.â
Biting your lip, you really donât want to say anything. Yes, you probably should talk to Jungkook, but then again, maybe you shouldnât. Heâs had countless chances to say something, to open up if he had any thoughts at allâand heâs used none of them. Not even when you broke up with him. He stayed silent, like he is now.
Maybe he just doesnât want to talk, not really, and youâre done waiting and being the one to start things.
âThereâs nothing left to talk about. But I appreciate your concern.â
Hara just nods, staring down at the floor, rubbing her hands together between her knees while you pull on your coat and tuck your phone safely into its case.
âItâs a nice case. Did you paint it yourself?â
You glance at your phone, rubbing your thumb over the faded paint that was once so bright. You couldnât bring yourself to get rid of it after the breakup, even though it reminds you of everything good about your time with Jungkook. Maybe thereâs some masochistic streak in you that wants to punish yourself for everything you did and didnât do. Maybe itâs time to let go of all the memories that keep pulling you back to a time thatâs long gone.
âNo.â You sigh, tucking it away in your coat pocket with your purse and heading to the door. You pause with your hand on the handle, checking to see if Haraâs following, which she is. Sheâs right behind you again, and this time, you just let out a startled scream internally, hoping you donât flinch too visibly.
Opening the door, you let her pass first, just to keep her in your sight this time, but as soon as youâre near the entrance to the main area, she stops, raising a hand. You give her a puzzled look, but she only points to one of her ears, so you lean in, trying to make out whatâs being said.
First, you catch the voices of Taehyung and Namjoon, Taehyungâs voice too loud and distinct not to notice. But when you listen a bit harder, you pick up Hope and Jungkook having a different conversation, probably a little further from the others.
âI know! I know youâre a good driver. JustâŠâ
âJust? Câmon, whatâs going on with you, C?â
âJust⊠take care of her, okay?â
âWhy wouldnât I? Youâre acting like Iâm some boy whoâs just got his licence and canât be trustedââ
The rustling of your coat drowns out the rest of their conversation as you step into the room, deciding not to eavesdrop any longer. You glance around briefly, and of course, Jungkookâs eyes find yours again, but you quickly turn towards Yoongi, resting your hands on his shoulders from behind where heâs still slouched on the one-seater. He wraps his hand around your wrist, his thumb gently brushing over your pulse.
âWhy was my case out in the snow?â you murmur into his ear, which earns a lazy laugh from him. He peeks over his shoulder at you, his voice still raspy from his hangover as he murmurs back.
âYou thought you could yeet it away and be done with it.â
Your cheeks go warm again; drunk-you is really ridiculous in every possible way. Youâre just grateful it was only Namjoon and Yoongi who saw your breakdown, and no one else.
âRight.â
âStay safe, yeah?â
He gives your wrist a gentle squeeze, and when your eyes meet again, even though his are still glassy from last nightâs antics, thereâs that quiet care in them only real family can have.Â
âI will. Thanks for being there for me, Yoongs.â You press a quick kiss to his head and give him a brief squeeze around his shoulders, only for him to dramatically fake his own demise.
Straightening up, you meet Hopeâs eyes, give him a quick nod, and head towards the door. Jungkook moves with the two of you, holding the door open without taking his eyes off you. His gaze is so intense that you canât keep eye contact, mumbling a quiet, hurried âthanksâ and âbyeâ as you follow Hope to his car.
You wouldnât have thought Hope would drive a brand-new car, especially a vibrant red one. You wonder if an equipment rental shop really makes that much of a profit or if everyone in this town is just batshit rich. At least youâll be safeâmuch safer than youâd be with Tony.
âSo, how longâs the drive?â you ask, taking in the carâs interior while buckling up in the passenger seat. You notice the soft leather under your bum and the chrome trim around the touchscreen on the console.
âMaybe twenty or thirty minutes, depends on whether the roads are clear or still covered in snow.â
You hum in acknowledgment, tucking your hands under your thighsânot only because theyâre still cold from the short walk outside, but also to avoid the urge to touch anything and risk breaking something youâd never be able to replace.
The carâs rolling down the steep hill you came from a few days ago in no time, and Hopeâs both hands are steady on the wheel, which helps you relax in your seat. Heâs definitely a good driver, like Yoongi, Jungkook, or your dadâthe kind you can actually relax around without fearing for your life.
âSoâŠwould you be a kind soul and tell me what youâre all talking about in that group chat, especially about me?â
Of course you had to askâwhy wouldnât you, now that youâre alone with someone whoâs clearly in on the whole scheme?
âSure, why wouldnât I?â
âDunnoâŠmaybe because of Namjoon.â
âOh, Iâm not scared of him.â Hope laughs heartily, but his eyes donât stray from the dark, snow-covered road ahead.
âSoooâŠ?â
âSo, you should just talk to C. Thatâs what weâre all talking about.â
âWow, wouldnât have thought of that.â
âSo whyâre you asking if thatâs not the answer you wanted?â
You fall silent.
âListen. You and C are both hurting. And the only way forward is for you both to learn how to communicate properly, aka talk to each other.â
âThereâs really nothing left to talk about.â
âWhyâs that?â
âHeâs clearly moved on, no?â
Like, duh.
âHas he now?â
Duh?âŠ
âYeah, with HaraâŠand the baby on its way.â
Were you wrong all this time? It canât be.
âOh, boyâŠâ
âDonât âoh boyâ me.â
âWhy do you think heâs with Hara?â
Youâre trying not to show how hard it is to think clearly in your state, but the time it takes you to respond says it all. âItâs obvious.â
âIs it? Because it sounds like youâre seeing things how you want to, not how they actually are.â
âRude.â
âItâs true.â
âYouâre really forward for someone I barely know.â
âWeâre not strangers, __.â Hope side-eyes you pointedly, making you scoot a tiny bit deeper into your seat.
âBasically, we are.â
âNo, weâre not friends yet, but weâre not strangers either.â
So what does this mean for you and Jungkook? Heâs not exactly a friend anymore, but heâs not a stranger either. OrâŠmaybe he is. God, your brain feels like itâs about to explode any minute now.
âPeople change, Hope. Jungkookâs changed.â
Hope lets a short silence settle between you, his fingers tapping softly against the leather wheel as if heâs thinking about what to say next. Only now do you realise thereâs no sound from the engine, and you clock that heâs driving an electric carâeven though he lives in the mountains, in the cold.
âHave you?â
Youâre half-tempted to just say yes, but is that really true? Youâre not sure. Maybe youâve matured a bit, but not enough to feel like a different person. What you do know for sure is that any growth you might have had stopped the moment you left Jungkook. Youâve been so caught up in trying to heal and be someone youâre not that you havenât really evolved into the person you could have been.
Anything reallyâmaybe a better person, but somehow still the same you. So, what have you become in the last few years? Are you the same? Or not quite?
âNot sure.â
Hope just nods, not as if heâs simply acknowledging what you said, but as if he already knew your answer. Itâs uncanny how much talking to him reminds you of Yoongi, both of them having that same no-bullshit approach.
âListen, Iâm not here to play mediator,â yep, definitely like Yoongi, ânor are the others. You need to talk to him, get things sorted before itâs too late.â
âWhat if itâs already too late?â
âI donât think so.â
âYouâre so positive.â You whine pathetically.Â
âAnd youâre a chronic pessimist.â He mimics you.Â
âIâm just cautious.â You pull your hands from under your thighs and throw them in the air, more to get your point across than anything.
âNo, youâre scared of what might never happen.â
Ouch. But heâs notâŠnot right.
âIâm not. Iâm doing snowboarding now, arenât I?â
âSo why are we heading to the nearest petrol station if youâre meant to be snowboarding all week?â
You shut your mouth and slide your hands back under your thighs, as if that might help you disappear. Maybe you werenât as subtle as you thought, and not only Hope but everyone elseâincluding Jungkookâhas seen right through you. Is that why Hara wanted to talk to you earlier? Urging you to finally talk to Jungkook?
âGotcha,â Hope giggles slightly, though when he sees your sad pout, he reaches over to give your knee a quick squeeze before returning his hand to the wheel.
âAlright, Iâm sorry if I hurt your feelings.â Okay, maybe not exactly like Yoongi. âBut from what Iâve seen and heard, you liked snowboarding. And Iâd say you probably enjoyed everything else youâve done before, too.â He glances over at you. âCorrect me if Iâm wrong.â
You just give a noncommittal shrug.
âYou need to trust yourself and your capabilities a bit more. Start having faith in the positive outcomes, not just the negative ones, yeah? Youâll never be able to live without fear if you overthink everythingâŠespecially things with Jungkook.â
Your pout deepens, a light sheen of tears coating your lashes, which you tell yourself are just from the hangover crashing down on you now, not from facing the uncomfortable truth of your very persona.Â
âI know itâs hard, ___. But sometimes thinking the worst makes it real, even though the outcome couldâve been different if youâd just had a bit more faith.â
âAre you talking about snowboarding or Jungkook?â
âBoth.â He giggles again, and you canât help but join in, sniffing your nose a little.
When just then another small town and the petrol station come into view, you straighten up in your seat, realising youâd been slouching more and more throughout the drive.
Even though youâre not looking forward to stepping outside into the cold, youâre glad for a bit of a cooldown, just to ease your exhaustion.
Hope parks his car right next to the petrol pump, and as soon as he turns it off, you both get out and head to the boot where two big empty canisters are waiting.
âHere, Iâll go to the one right behind this one.â He offers you one of the canisters, and while you take it, youâre still confused.
âI only need one, though.â
Heâs already unscrewed his, pumping petrol as he leans to the side to look at you.
âYeah, this oneâs for me.â
Youâre still confused, but you start filling your canister anyway.
âIsnât your car electric?â
âYeah, but I need emergency petrol for the generator in case thereâs an outage and the babyâs coming.â
You freeze. Is HopeâŠ? Oh god, you were so wrong all this time. Relief floods through you, so intense that tears spring to your eyes. Jungkookâs not the baby daddy.
âYouâre Haraâs baby daddy?â you squeak.
âGosh, no!â
And now you think you might throw up, the tears shifting back to the heartbreak of yesterday.
âAreum, my wife, sheâs seven months pregnant. You missed her yesterday with your epic escape.â
âOh. Uh, congratulations.â
But you only hear a snort from behind the pump.
Not wanting to fill the canister completely, you settle on half, afraid you might not have enough left in your bank account. Youâre not exactly broke, but youâre worried your employer hasnât transferred your pay on time. Again.
âIâm off to pay,â you mumble as you pass Hope and head into the small, warm station, where a young teenager plagued with acne stands behind the counter, his eyes barely lifting from his phone throughout your whole exchange.
âYour cardâs declined, miss.â
The remaining colour drains from your face at his words. This really canât be happening.
âCould youâŠcould you try again, please?â
The teenager just rolls his eyes, and if you werenât so mortified, youâd probably give him some shit for being so rude. But again, the familiar sound of your card being declined fills the little station, and when he hands your card back, you just mumble, âJust a second, please,â before stepping to the far corner by the cooling systems and getting your phone out.
And sure enough, your banking app shows youâre completely drained. Fuck. So thereâs only one option left, then.
âPick up, pick up, pick up.â
âYo,â Yoongi grumbles, and youâre pretty sure you can hear Jungkookâs panicked voice in the background, asking whatâs happened.
âI need your help,â you whisper, glancing over at the teenager to check if he can hear, but heâs already engrossed in his phone again.
âWhat do you need?â
âIâm short on cash. I canât payââ
âWhy?â
Yoongiâs tone isnât accusatory in the slightest, just genuinely surprised. Hope comes into the station now too, cocking a brow at you, which you try to ease with a shaky smile.
âMy employerâs late with my pay. Again. And the trip and, uhâŠit all justâŠâ
âIâm sorry,â Yoongi says, flat, almost monotone, but you know he feels awful now, realising youâre actually struggling, not just joking around. Itâs not his fault though; you never talk about money, and maybe heâs apologising not just because he let you pay for everything, but because you havenât had these conversations before.
âSâalright. Can you just transfer some money quickly so I canââ
âYeah.â
âThank you.â
You hear him sighâone that says, Donât make this a thing now. Hopeâs already paid for his, waiting by the door with his hands in his pockets, scanning some nearby magazines.
Knowing not to waste any more time, you hang up, open your banking app again, and refresh it every few seconds until there it is: a transfer of ten fucking thousand dollars from Yoongi, with the note, Shouldâve told me sooner.
You make a mental note to give him a piece of your mind regarding the sum later as you pay for the petrol, and dash out of the station, dragging Hope with you to escape the embarrassment as soon as possible.Â
âSlow down, will you?â
You let go of his arm once youâre by his car, rubbing your hands over your face in frustration as you mumble, âSorry. God, Iâm such a mess.â
âCome on, weâll talk in the car. I just wanna get home.â
And you do, silently, closing your eyes as the car winds through the woods back the way you came.
You know Hope doesnât want to pressure you, but you want to talk about it, just because bottling it up any longer would fry your brain.
âMy employer still hasnât transferred my pay,â you mumble. âI had to call Yoongi to borrow money.â
Hope lets out a long breath through his nose, shaking his head slowly as he listens.
âAgain, as in this isnât the first time?â
âYeah, as in he owes me several thousand dollars by now.â
âThousands?â
You tap your knuckle against the window, doing a quick mental tally of how much has piled up since you started working for this guy. âAbout fifty. Maybe a bit more.â
âNo. Fucking. Way.â Hope glances over at you with each word, then back to the road. â___, thatâs insane. Fifty thousand?! Why havenât you sued him? Or quit?â
âIâŠâ Yeah, good question. âI actually donât know.â
Itâs not like itâs a brilliant job worth hanging on to, but working from home has its perks, and finding another role in your field? Thatâs practically impossible without connections, which you definitely donât have, seeing as you work from home and have done for years.
âYouâre an accountant, yeah?â
âHow do you know?â you ask, stopping your gentle tapping against the window to look over at his profile.Â
âOh, who dâyou think told me?â He gives you a side-eye, looking slightly annoyed, and you just nod. âAreumâs an accountant too. She works for PwC, all remote. Theyâre looking for someone to cover her on maternity leave, and she gets to pick who fills in for her, sooooâŠâ
âSoooâŠ?â
âWoman, Iâm not spelling it out for you. Youâre not that thick.â
Ouch. âHey! Stop being so rude to me.â
âThen stop acting daft when youâre not.â
God, you want to strangle him. No wonder he gets along so well with Yoongi. You thought he was just this little ray of sunshine with that stupid bright laugh, but heâs feisty as hell.
âIâll think about it,â you mumble, knowing decisions like this arenât made right now, especially as the painkillers wear off and your mindâs about to shut down along with your eyelids.
Eventually, sleep takes over, and if youâre honest, you donât bother fighting it.
â___, wake up.â Hopeâs voice and the gentle push of his hand against your shoulder rouse you not long after. And even though sleeping, even just a bit, should have done you some good, you feel worse after a fifteen-minute nap.
Reluctantly, you straighten in your seat, trying to wake up properly, and smack your lips to get the awful taste off your tongue, but itâs no use. Youâll need to brush your teeth as soon as youâre in the suiteâthereâs no way around it.
âThanks for driving me,â you rasp, glancing out of the windscreen to see Jungkook hopping from one foot to the other in the cold, his breath rising in small clouds in front of him. âWhatâs he doing outside?â
âHeâs waiting for you.â
âOh.â
Itâs a mystery why Jungkook would do that, seeing as youâre clearly not on good terms. Youâve been trading jabs and whatnot with every interaction, so the fact that heâs not fed up by now is really baffling.
âIâm heading straight home if thatâs okay.â
âOh. Sure, yes, of course, sorry.â You unbuckle your seatbelt, knowing you shouldnât overstay your welcome, especially as Hope is snickering again. âThanks again and goodnight.â
âGoodnight. AndâŠtalk to him.â
Well, you donât really have a choice now. Especially when, after closing the passenger door, you walk to the boot to get your half-empty canister, only to find Jungkook already beside you.
âHere, let me help.â
He doesnât meet your eyes this time, which feels strange after he spent all afternoon staring at you.
âIâve got this.â
You heft the canister out of the boot and start walking straight to Tony to fill him up, letting the canister rest by your legs, you wave Hope off as he drives away, then clear the side of Tony of snow.
âWhat are you doing?â Jungkook stands beside you, arms crossed, chest puffed out. He looks intimidatingâhotly soâbut youâre still pissed and very much not in the mood for a chat.
âWhat does it look like?â
He just shrugs with a smirk, and as you finish clearing the snow, you realise youâve done the wrong side of Tony.Â
How embarrassing.
âDonât say anything.â
And he doesnât, aside from a quiet snicker as he follows you to the other side, where you finally start clearing the right bit of snow. This time, you find the cap and pull out your car keys to open it.
Ignoring your wishes, Jungkook picks up the canister and starts pouring the petrol into the car, biting his lip piercings again.
âTalk,â you snap, wanting to get this over withâwhatever it is thatâs bothering him so much heâs biting his lip bloody.
Jungkook glances briefly at you, and while youâve seen that sad expression on him countless times, it still stings.
âWhy did you leave?â
You sigh, glance towards the hostel, and look back at him. âWhen? When I broke up with you? On the slope yesterday? From the party? Or to the petrol station?â
Alright, it sounded cooler in your head, but youâre now realising you might have a bit of a tendency to run off. Oops.
âAll of them, I guess.â He muses, shutting the cap and screwing the canister lid back on as he turns to you fully.
âJungkook, thatâs a conversation Iâm not having with you right now.â
âAnd when would be the best time for it?â
âOh, I donât know. Maybe not outside, not in the middle of the night, not when Iâm batshit hungover, and especially not when youâve built a new life for yourself.â
That last bit wasnât really what you wanted to say, but it slipped out anyway, the perfect proof that itâs indeed not the best time.Â
âThatâs not fair.â
âItâs not fair for you to treat me like this, Jungkook. Iâm not doing this anymore.â
You turn while watching him run a hand through his hair, then stomp through the deep snow towards the hostel to stop yourself freezing out here.
âStop running away!â
âIâm not running away. Iâm going to bed. You should too.â
Jungkook catches the door at the last second and steps into Dionysus right behind you.
âYou are running away.â
You turn to face him sharply, causing him to nearly bulldoze into you, but he catches himself in time, stepping back a bit with his hands on his hips, still clutching the canister in his reddened hand.
âWhy did you need petrol for Tony, whoâs been out of it for days? Why now?â
You purse your lips, mirroring his stance instinctively, staring each other down. Youâre stubborn, but so is he, and youâre not backing down. He wants to start a fight? See who breaks first? See if youâre really running away from him? Well, youâll prove him wrong.
âSafety. Caution. Responsibility. Take your pick.â
Thereâs a familiar glint in his eyesâthe one that says he knows youâre bullshitting him. God, youâve missed this. Missed him.
âSo, not fleeing the scene, hm?â
âNot fleeing the scene.â
And youâre not. Change of plans: youâre staying. Youâll stay, and youâll whoop his ass by becoming the best snowboarder on the planet.
Jungkook just nods, and you nod back.
Usually, this would be the moment heâd tackle you and fuck the truth out of you in no time. And though you can vividly picture it, you need to keep your distance. So before the tension builds too much, before Jungkook becomes too much, you stop nodding and let your arms drop to your sides.
âGoodnight, Jungkook.â
He mirrors your stance, and though his eyes dim with that usual sadness, you refuse to see it as longing. Because why would he?
âGoodnight, ___.â
You nod, and while you canât quite tear yourself away from his gaze, you eventually turn and head up to your suite, finding Yoongi already silently and fast asleep, you canât help but to leave a tiny gap in the door, just enough to watch as Jungkook disappears into his own room.
Day 5
You feel good.
No, scratch thatâyou feel absolutely pumped, energised, and oh-so-ready for the day. Thereâs a wild fire blazing through your veins, just waiting to be unleashed, and youâre absolutely down for it.
Sitting alone in the dining room after that little talk with Yoongi about the sum he transferred to your bank account, only to be met with an eye roll in response, youâre busy preparing the most protein-packed breakfast Namjoonâs buffet has on offer. Youâll definitely need itânot just because your bodyâs craving nutrients, but because your brain needs to be at its best so you can finally beat Jungkook at his own game.
No, not with his petty remarks and actions, but by getting your answers with carefully placed, strategically even, questions so he doesnât even realise youâre grilling him. Youâre brilliant, so of course you can pull this off. The sulky victim era of ___ is overâhere comes the new, improved you.
Though, if youâre honest, you know thereâs a pretty decent chance that Jungkook might catch on to your plan. Heâs always been good at that, always been just as brilliant as you. But his competitive side usually has you beat by the end of the day. But not today. Today, youâre determined to win.
Especially when the man himself strolls in, looking sinfully good. His hairâs damp, falling messily over his forehead and eyes, while his thin white shirt hangs loosely off his shoulders, clinging slightly to his skin where he didnât dry off properly.
âMorning, Kook,â you chirp, practically singing it, intentionally calling him by the nickname you lovingly gave him all those years ago.
Jungkook slows his steps, one eyebrow raised and lips pursed. The confusionâs painted all across his face exactly as youâd hoped. Excellent.
âMorning.â He stops at your table, glancing at the empty chairs next to you and opposite you, and when he takes the one right beside you, youâre doing a little celebratory dance on the inside.
âDid you sleep well, Kook?â He eyes you as he gets his plate ready, and while he answers, you take a small bite of your food, your overly cheerful grin firmly in place.
âUh, yeah, did you?â
âOf course! Snuggly kept me company all night.â
The confusion in Jungkookâs eyes deepens, and youâd give anything to know whatâs running through his head right now. You keep your face just as innocent and cheerful as possible, though itâs getting harder by the second.
âSo, whatâve you been up to these past five months?â If your mathâs right, Haraâs now a little over four months along. So, if Jungkook was around back then, youâve got your answer.
âFive months?â He raises an eyebrow again, biting into the sandwich heâs just thrown together. Thereâs far more ham than breadâprobably more to keep his hands clean than for actual taste.
âYeah, whereâve you all been, then?â
âUh,â Jungkook chews, blinking at you. You can practically see the gears turning in his head as he tries to figure you out. âIâve been to Bangkok, Hawaii, and, uh⊠before that, I was here for a few months.â
No. Fucking. Way. So all those mixed signals, not only from Jungkook but all his friends too, werenât so mixed after all.
âThis townâs pretty small. Is there anything exciting to do off-season?â
âWell, Hara had a huge birthday celebration. So there was that.â
âHaraâs birthdayâs in August?â
âYeah, why?â
So he gave her a baby for her birthday. How pathetic it makes you feel, realising youâve been too busy being still his to fall for someone new all this time. But you donât let the heartbreak show this time. You swallow it down because shutting down wonât help you now.
âJust asking.â
Jungkook just nods again, still contemplating your words, trying to read your motives like he always does, though youâre as blank as can be beneath your smile. Itâs not that youâve lost your determination to get through snowboardingâno, youâre way too competitive and stubborn to back down now. Still, you kind of wish you were as drunk as youâd been two days ago.
The upside of being fully sober again is that you feel fantastic. Physically, anyway. The downside is that your brain wonât shut up.
You vividly remember the night you ended things, the exhaustion, the desperation in your every word as you tried to explain yourself to him. It wasnât that you didnât love him; you did and you still do, maybe even more than you should. But back then, youâd grown tired of always feeling like you werenât enough, of feeling like you were someone he didnât really need.
Youâd always been the one to soothe your doubts on your own, to make excuses for him and his choices, to tell yourself it was just a phase, that heâd eventually grow out of itâthat heâd grow out of it for you. Not that heâd never do anything risky again, but just enough for him to see that some things are too dangerous to try.
Losing him was completely your fault, you know that, and even though heâs going to be a dadâeven if itâs not your childâyouâd crawl back to him in a heartbeat if there were any chance. Not that youâd ever be a homewrecker; thatâs something youâd never do, and youâll respect any relationship on earth as it is. But if heâs only going to be a father, if heâs only co-parenting with Hara and theyâre not together, youâd try to make it work somehow.
Or maybe youâre just delusional, thinking youâd be okay with him having a kid thatâs not yours. Because deep down, the thought of him being with someone else after youâeven if you werenât together anymoreâmakes you want to throw up. Not just because picturing it is one of your worst nightmares, but because all the love declarations he made, and will probably make again in that scenario, would be empty in their truest form. At least in your eyes.Â
Thereâs nothing you can do about it; itâs not like youâre some grandma who thinks virginity before marriage is a must. But if he was with you and says heâd want to be with you again, thereâs no chance if he had someone else in between.
Jungkook sniffs beside you, and youâre not exactly proud that, since learning heâs staying here at the hostel too, youâve kept spare napkins nearby, just like the good old days, and youâre not proud as you hand him one with a small smile, still chewing, knowing his rhinitis is worst in the morning.
âThanks,â heâs smiling, though thereâs still that look of doubt in his eyes, as if heâs still trying to work out what youâre up to. âSo, how about you?â
Youâve half a mind to exaggerate again, but you know youâll need to save your energy today, especially since youâre spending the whole day with Jungkook. So you stick to the truth. âNothing really. Mostly work, and a few activities Iâve tried.â
âItâs weird.â
âWhat is?â
âYou doing all that stuff.â
Jungkook doesnât look as accusatory as he did the first day; this time, he actually looksâŠsad.
âDidnât you want me that way?â You keep your tone light, friendly even, but deep down, that old pettiness rises to the surface.
âNo.â The word slips from his lips without a momentâs hesitation, his sad eyes fixed on yours, and suddenly, you canât breathe. It just doesnât make sense.
âIâŠwhy?â
He slowly swallows his last bite and reaches for his coffee, just to toy with the rim of the mug. Then he lifts his gaze to meet yours, boring into your irises as if to tell you more than heâs actually saying. âThatâs not you.â
You just stare at him, trying to understand why heâd want you to change all those years ago, only to now tell you, indirectly, he doesnât like the person heâd pushed you to become. No words form in your brain, again too overwhelmed by it all, so you just nod, because quite honestly, heâs right. Itâs not who you are, even if some of the less riskier activities, like snowboarding, turned out to be more fun than youâd expected.
Jungkook doesnât seem to handle the silence well as you quietly finish your meal, as his leg starts bouncing under the table again, occasionally brushing against yours. Youâre sure he doesnât even notice it, but you do and while you think about shifting your leg slightly away, that faint touch of his somehow soothes the intense longing you have for him.
How many times youâve thought about calling him, only to remind yourself he was the one who let you go without a word, is beyond counting now. Trying to count would be like trying to reach infinity without breaking down as the despair catches up to you and you simply canât do either.Â
You need, with all your might, to pull your mind out of this endless void and focus on the good. Youâre able to have a normal conversation with Jungkook. Heâs fine. Youâre fine. And if you can make it through these next two weeks, you tell yourself that youâll be fine too, even if itâs without him. Because that countdown in your head has shiftedâfrom thinking youâve got time to work things out, to savouring these last moments with him as much as possible, hoping to make memories you can hold onto as fondly as the ones you made all those years ago.
âSo, todayâs blue slope day?â
Jungkook nods with a smirk, eyes still on his cup, clearly lost in thought. âYeah. You ready?â
âSure. I was born ready.â
The snort that escapes him mirrors your own, letting the sadness fade into that playful light in his eyes youâve always adored when he finally looks back up to you.Â
âThen letâs head out, shall we?â
âYes, sir!â You salute playfully, downing the rest of your or rather his iced Americanoâsneakily poured into a regular mugâin one go and standing as soon as Jungkook does.
It doesnât take long for you both to get fully geared up and leave the hostel, Jungkook closing the usual distance between you by walking much closer than he has on any of the previous days, though you welcome it this time.Â
âGive me your board.â Jungkook stretches out his free hand towards you when youâre just a few feet away from Dionysos.
âI can handle it.â
âI know you can. But you donât have to.â
Wondering whether youâre about to be stubborn again, you decide to let him help you. Itâs a nice gesture, and knowing his strengthâwhich has clearly grown over the last few yearsâitâs no bother for him to carry your snowboard too. So you hand it to him, mumbling a small, grateful âthanksâ and fall into step with him, the rustling of your gear and the dull thud of your boots the only sounds breaking the otherwise silent streets.
âItâs such a lovely day.â You marvel at the first rays of sunlight shining down, making the snow-covered streets steam ever so slightly, looking straight out of a fantasy.
The townâs not fully awake yet; a few people are setting up their displays outside, greeting you both with warm smiles and friendly faces. Itâs easy being here, so welcoming when you ignore the chaos thatâs crashed down on you since you arrived.
Youâd like to imagine living here, spending the rest of your life in this place with Jungkook, befriending his friends too, all in some alternate universe. You daydream about a winter wedding, teaching your kids how to build a snowman, and everything else.
It would be nice, it would be perfect. Because in that universe, youâd still be with Jungkook, and youâd be not only happy but fulfilled.
âIt is, the slopes should be perfect too.â
A small group of kindergarteners crosses your path just before the slopes, and as your gaze drifts from them to the shop windows behind, you catch the reflection of you and Jungkook side by side. Heâs looking at the kids, full of adoration, with that same endearing smile you fell in love with all those years ago.
His hairâs just as shiny and healthy, his eyes sparkling in that familiar way. Youâve always known how much Jungkook wants a familyâhe always has, just as you always did. Itâs one of the reasons you connected so quickly. His values and hopes for the future aligned so perfectly with yours that falling for him and picturing a life together was almost inevitable.
You knew back then that having different hobbies wasnât the most important thing in a relationship, that differences in those areas wouldnât decide its downfall. But somehow, you both let those differences take centre stage.
It wasnât just poor communication that damaged things; you lost sight of what truly mattered, letting the good become tainted with doubt, trust begin to crack, and your hearts bleed in ways they never should have.
Standing there now, side by side, you realise that everything that happened, the way you both handled things, was so unnecessarily foolish. You wish youâd made different choices. You look perfect together, like one of those couples you see and just know theyâre meant to be, like theyâre soulmates, like theyâre fated.
Jungkookâs eyes lift up, catching yours in the window, and his smile grows just a bit wider. Thereâs still that adoration thereâor is it just nostalgia? Or maybe itâs the inner peace he feels, knowing heâll soon have a child of his own? Youâre not sure, and youâre afraid to let yourself think too deeply about it. Because, honestly, if itâs anything but adoration, youâd spiral so much, so irrevocably, that you might just break all over again.
Switching your board to his other hand, where heâs already holding his own, he lifts his now free arm and wraps it over your shoulder, pulling you into his side. Your head doesnât even reach his eyes, and your shoulder aligns perfectly with his arm, like youâre a puzzle piece fitting into him. You canât help the broad smile that breaks over your face when he says, âIâm glad youâre here.â
You turn away from the window, tilting your head up to look into his beautiful brown eyes, taking in this small, pure moment that youâll lock away in the deepest parts of your heart and cherish for the rest of your life. âMe too.â
Simple moments like these with Jungkook have always been so beautiful. Itâs always been like this, just the two of you in a bubble where nothing else matters. The ache in your heart should ease in moments like this, but instead, it grows, the longing building until itâs nearly unbearable.
How perfect it would feel to kiss him now, how your heart and soul would sing if he kissed you back. The realisationâthe overwhelming certaintyâthat he truly was the one for you hits you like an avalanche, burying you so deeply youâll never find a way out.
Still, you turn your face away, and he lets you go.
âLetâs get it.â Jungkook cheers, and you echo his words, because you donât know what else to say, walking side by side to the lift. Thankfully, this time without any annoying interruptions from his fangirls.
The first ride up in the ski gondola is equal parts terrifying and beautiful. The trees below look like miniature toys, and the mountain peaks seem too stunning to be real, like a picture painted by an artist. The gondola is empty except for the two of you, Jungkook sitting across from you, both of you gazing outside. But every now and then, you canât help glancing at his reflection.
Jungkook talks the entire way up, going over everything you should know about snowboarding by now. His calm voice, his solid presence right in front of you, and his patient review of the basics settle the last of your nerves, along with Hopeâs words, still ringing loudly in your mind.
Fear is faith in the negative.
And you donât want to live like that againânot now, and not when itâs just snowboarding. You trust your own abilities, and you trust Jungkook to keep you safe, like he always has. Well, aside from that one camping incidentâbut youâll turn a blind eye to that for now. You have to, because one lapse in his judgement all those years ago shouldnât undo everything else heâs proven to you.
The morning is spent making descent after descent, each one becoming easier and more fun, especially with Jungkook staying close. You manage to fall less and less, and when you do, heâs always right there, reaching out to help you back on your feet.
And while youâre laughing and joking like old times, it feels as if no time has passed at all.
Just before lunch, you both find yourselves back at the gondola, though this time itâs a different one.
âThereâs this restaurant way up there.â Jungkook points into the distance, and you squint, trying to follow his finger, but the sun is too bright to make out exactly where heâs pointing. âThe foodâs amazing, and weâll be able to take a way longer run down. Itâll build your stamina and get you ready for the harder slopes tomorrow.â
âSounds good.â You smile at him, excited not only for the food but also for the chance to push yourself a bit more.
When you step into the gondola with a few others, itâs so packed that you have to squeeze in beside Jungkook, pressing against his side. With his broad shoulders and your thick coat, thereâs not much room and after a few minutes, Jungkook shifts and lifts his arm, draping it over your shoulder to give you both a bit more space.
You frown. Even though itâs more comfortable this way, you donât like it at all. If heâs with Hara, this is crossing boundaries left and right. You know that if you were still together and he did this with another woman, itâd be a dealbreaker.
The gesture sours your mood instantly, letting your thoughts spiral in a way that has you dangerously close to snapping at him. But you hold back. You wonât start a scene now, not here; youâll wait until youâre at the restaurant and talk things through.
When you reach the top and leave the gondola, heading toward the small restaurant by the lift, Jungkook keeps his hand resting lightly on your back.
Itâs ironic, really. You left because you wanted him to find happiness, to be with someone who wouldnât bring conflict, someone he wouldnât feel the need to change. And here he is, supposedly happy, yet acting like youâre still his, clinging to old habits like theyâre the only things he has left with you.Â
Maybe thatâs the saddest part of all. Heâs got everything he once told you he wanted, yet heâs still holding onto pieces of the past, unable to let them go. And maybe heâll never fully move on, just like you havenât, even if he thinks he has. But thatâs not something you can fix. You triedâmore than onceâto help him keep his distance, to let go of whatever still kept him wounded. Even if it wasnât the perfect approach, pretending to be with Yoongi, you thought it might help him move on. But he has to handle that himself now; youâre done being the one to guide him there.
You deserve peace, too. You deserve to be able to look back on your time together without feeling unresolved tension. If that means keeping your distance, letting him live his life with Hara without stepping in, then so be it. Youâre done making excuses for him, done justifying his behaviour to yourself. Heâs made his choices, back then and now too, and now itâs time for you to make yours.
You take a deep breath, letting it all settle within you as you step into the restaurant. The hurt, the sadness, the longingâsure, itâs all still there, and maybe it always will be. But now, itâs just that: memories. Moments you once cherished, now filed away in a part of your heart that no longer needs to cling so tightly. Or at least, thatâs what you hope.
As you sit down across from him, letting go bit by bit, you realise that maybe this is what closure should feel like. Hurtful, and not freeing at all.Â
âYouâre kinda touchy.âÂ
Jungkook looks up from his menu, running the tip of his tongue over his lip piercing. âI always am.â
Your lips press into a firm line, shoulders tensing even more. Jungkookâs eyes dart over you, and he realises too late that your mood has shifted. As he catches on, his nervous habits start to surface in an instant. He fumbles with his menu, his leg bouncing so hard that the tablecloth shifts slightly with each movement.
âDoesnât it feel wrong to you?â You ask, your tone so accusatory it even startles you.
Jungkook gulps, actually gulps, and you feel the urge to laugh or maybe storm off altogether.
âNo?â He sounds uncertain, though thereâs a strange conviction in his voice, even with his nerves. âDoes it bother you?â
âYes.â
You stare each other down, Jungkook nodding but tilting his head slightly, eyebrows drawn. âIs it because of Yoongi?â
Should you come clean and tell him youâre not dating Yoongi, that heâs just your cousin? But you canât see the point. It wouldnât change anything now, youâre sure of that. Though youâre not sure if the snort and shake of your head is more because of how absurd it all is, or if itâs meant to answer his question. Either way, it fits. And as Jungkook exhales sharply through his nose, his jaw clenching in a steady rhythm, you donât say anything more.
The tension between you feels like itâs growing and the silence between you both is almost suffocating you. You try to distract yourself by looking at the scenery outside the window, but itâs no use.
âI never wanted to do all those things,â you mumble, as if you can somehow lift a bit of the weight off your chest. âBut I felt soâŠso unworthyâŠso empty. I needed to do it, even if I hated most of it.â
The waiter sets down your plates and drinks, wishing you a pleasant meal. Still, you donât look up at Jungkook, maybe out of embarrassment, maybe because you just canât. Instead, you stare at your food, forcing yourself to eat, even if itâs only a little.
âYou shouldnât have.â His voice is gentle, and you feel his gaze burning onto your face, though you try to ignore it. âNot for someone else, at least.â
Is he talking about himself? Or does he think you did it all for Yoongi? Either way, heâs right, though those words would have made more difference if heâd said them years ago.
âMaybe youâre right.â
Itâs unusual to see Jungkook eating so slowly, and itâs not like you to keep so quiet, either. Itâs not that you canât handle silence, but sharing a meal like this without any connection feels so pointless.
âWas it easy?â Jungkook eventually asks, and your eyes involuntarily snap up to him.
âWhat was?â
âMoving on so fastâŠâ
Sometimes, looking at Jungkook like you do now, you marvel at how much heâs matured. His features have lost that softness, his smooth skin now showing faint lines from laughter and time you werenât there to share.
Youâd always imagined growing old with him, and even though it hasnât been that long, your heart aches for all the time lost.
The faint, bluish shadows under his eyes, something he didnât even have during his finals, make him look not just tired, but drained off life. You can only hope itâs not because of you.
âI never did, so I canât say.â
You both go back to eating, letting silence settle again as you try to process it all. Maybe you need a whiteboard, or even a list, something to help you make sense of it all, thinking youâll definitely do that later, once youâre back at the hostel tonight.Â
More than half your plate is still full, but you canât seem to eat any more. As you set your cutlery down and tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear, you notice Jungkookâs already finished his meal.
âYou should eat more.â
âIâm full. Iâll just take it to go.â
And after Jungkook sighs and nods, you do just that, quickly insisting youâll pay for your own meal, refusing to let him cover it for you.
Finally back outside, the sky has shifted, like your mood, from sunny and clear to dark, with low-hanging, heavy clouds.
âThatâs odd,â Jungkook mutters, fishing his phone out and typing quickly. âForecast didnât mention a downpour.â
âWhat should we do?â Your nerves flare, body tingling and palms starting to sweat as that familiar panic creeps in, the kind that takes over any time things veer off-plan.
Jungkookâs eyes dart over his screen, only adding to your unease.
âShit,â he curses under his breath and puts his phone away. âSo, uh, thereâs a thunder cell thatâs come up out of nowhere, and thereâs a warning for a severe snowstorm. But itâs all good. We still have time.â
Just then, the first big snowflakes start falling from the clouds, and the wind picks up. As you look up at the sky, your voice trembles, âJungkook?â
âAlright, okay, maybe we donât have as much time as I thought. Weâre going to head down this way quickly, but safely.â He points toward a fork in the path where you can see a sign with a blue dot in one direction and a black one in the otherâthe black meaning itâs the most difficult and dangerous run there is.
âOkay.â You donât sound entirely convinced, partly because, while you believe in your skills, you know that in these weather conditions, even the best skills wonât count for much.
âStrap on your board. We need to go.â
And you follow his instructions because, at this point, thereâs no other option. The wind has picked up dramatically by the time you straighten up again, and you have to strain every muscle to stay upright against its force.
Youâre terrified, and Jungkookâs focused, hurried pace isnât doing much to settle your nerves.
âYouâre leading, so I can keep my eyes on you.âÂ
You nod, shifting your weight forward to start descending, but keeping control of the board proves not just difficult, but almost impossible. Your vision blurs with the flurry of snowflakes, even through your goggles, you can barely make out the slope or see the fork ahead.
âTo the right!â you hear Jungkook shout from behind, his voice frantic to its core. But as you pick up speed, the wind shoves you beyond the limit of what you can handle, pushing you towards the left, dangerously close to the black run.
âTo the right, ___!â
You try, you really do, but you canât seem to manage it. Like a leaf in a gale, youâre pulled in the direction you donât want to go, helpless to stop it. Lungs burning with each short breath, you think you scream the moment you realise itâs too late, skidding down the steep, black slope.
You try to brake, just like Jungkook taught you, but your knees are weak, your muscles not trained enough to regain control.
Jungkook rushes up beside you, and even though youâre in full survival mode, his presence brings you a tiny sliver of reassurance, even if itâs just for a while.Â
âYouâre doing good, keep going!â
And you do, tears streaming down under your scarf. The storm keeps pushing you off course, pulling you again and again in directions you donât want to go. But Jungkookâs right there, sticking close beside you, trying to block out some of the windâs blasts and guiding you as best as he can.
It feels like an eternityâfighting against nature, fighting to stay upright, fighting the fear building stronger and stronger in your chest. Somehow, even though you left the marked slope ages ago, heading somewhere unknown and unsure if itâll lead you to safety, you spot a small, abandoned-looking hut in the distance.
âTry to stop!â Jungkook yells, his voice barely reaching you through the howling wind.
âNow?â
âNow!â
You manage to stop, though clumsily, falling hard onto your bum, every muscle aching so painfully youâre barely able to move. Jungkook ditches his board in seconds, crawling over to help you with yours as the frozen clips stubbornly resist coming loose.
âYou good?â He glances briefly at your face, breath visible in short puffs matching yours, his lips chapped and slightly split.
You nod, though youâre still trembling, trying to steady yourself as adrenaline surges through you without much mercy.Â
Jungkook gets up with your board in hand, offering his free hand to you in a heartbeat and pulling you up effortlessly. After he picks up his own board, jointing yours, he clasps your hand with his free one and bolts towards the hut, dragging you along with him.Â
Thankfully, or rather miraculously, the hutâs indeed abandoned and open. And while Jungkook pushes you inside first, letting the boards clatter onto the wooden floor as he leans against the door, both of you are panting and gasping for air, needing this break more than anything.Â
The hutâs not really windproof, small gaps in the wooden walls still letting the cold wind whistle inside.
âSeriously? What the hell were you thinking?!â He rips his helmet off and throws it to the boards on the ground.
You try to straighten yourself, though the acheâs nearly too much. âI⊠I tried. I⊠itâŠâ
âYou just never listen, do you? I told you to turn right back there, but of course, you went your own way. Always have, always will.â
The storm outsideâs picked up even more now, and the cold has seeped into your bones, though you still fold your arms, doing your best to keep your voice steady despite the burn in your lungs. âOh, please, Jungkook. Donât act like Iâm the only one who doesnât listen. Youâve got selective hearing when it suits you.â
He lets out a frustrated sigh, running a gloved hand through his sweat-dampened hair. âSelective hearing? I spent years trying to tell you things, but you were always too stubborn to actually listen.â
âRight, yeah, Iâm the stubborn one,â you snap right back. âYou still canât even talk to me unless itâs about some bullshit like snowboarding.â
âOh, as if youâre any better.â
âI am! You didnât even say one word before I left!â you explode, ripping off your helmet too, followed by your gloves, yeeting them across the hut.
âOh, fuck off, ___! I wanted to, but clearly, you couldnât wait to fuck Yoongi as soon as you got rid off me!â
âYoongiâs my cousin, Jungkook. Family. But I wouldnât expect you to know that, since you barely know anything about my life anymore.â
Jungkookâs face falls at that, and you can clearly see how his whole world view crumbles in his eyes, leaving nothing behind but a hollow sadness youâve never seen before. Though youâre sad too, youâre hollow too, and so you continue, âDonât pin this on me when I never moved on, when you were the one fucking Hara and giving her a baby.â
His unfocused eyes snap to you, lips still parted as he breathes, âI never slept with her. Sheâs Jinâs wife.â
You feel like youâre falling, falling so hard and fast you canât stop. The tears that coat your eyes are nothing compared to the agonising realisation ripping you open. All those years, even all this hurt youâve been experiencing these last few days, were unfounded.
If you werenât this close to Jungkook, youâd think his red nose was just from the cold, but the silver lining his eyes carry shows just how broken you both are, what you did to yourselves without even realising it in the first place.Â
âYou moved on,â you press out, fighting the sob that threatens to spill.
âI havenât.â
How foolish all the assumptions were, how foolish of him to assume just as much. How utterly foolish that you both lost the ability to talk to each other long before your relationship ended.
But maybe it had to come to this for you to learn what itâs like to be separated, to learn how to communicate⊠but have you really? You reckon you havenât, not given how things went down. Maybe itâs too late, just as Hope warned you, though a small, fragile part in you clings to the delusion that things might still turn out right.
âLetâs⊠letâs call for help.â You turn, unable to keep looking at Jungkook, and youâre sure he needs time to process the bomb thatâs just dropped.
âYeah,â heâs taking out his phone again, though the breath he lets out is nothing short of concerning. âMy phoneâs dead. How about yours?â
By now youâve sat down on the small, bare bed, as standing any longer would have had you fainting by this point. While you rummage through your inner coat pocket to pull out your old beaten-up phone, Jungkook stomps over with his snow-covered boots and sits down beside you, leaving enough space between you that it feels like miles.
Lighting up the screen, you see your phoneâs battery miraculously still well over 90%, but thereâs absolutely no signal. âNope, no signal. Weâre stranded.â
Just as youâre about to put your phone back, Jungkook stops you with his voice. âYou still got the case?â
You pause, looking over at him, only to meet hopeful eyes you canât quite place.
âUh, yeah. You clearly got rid of yours though.â
You hate sounding so bitter, but it is what it is. Years of feeling the way you did canât be undone with one revelation.
âI lost it⊠my phone, too, when I was in the Caribbean shortly after weâŠâ
You hum and nod because what else is there to do?
âWhy did you keep it?â
Your eyes stray from your phone, where youâre running your thumb over one of Jungkookâs doodles on the case like it always does, to him, though heâs not looking at you this time, just fiddling with his gloves in his lap.
âI canât get rid of memories. You should know that.â
âEven if theyâre bad?â He turns his head to you, though his eyes are fixed on your phone. The way heâs slouching is so unlike him, and it hurts to see what youâve done to him.
âThey arenât bad.â
Jungkook nods a few times, as if heâs trying to cement your words in his mind, rewriting everything he thought was real but never was.
Eventually, Jungkook stands up and walks over to a small closet, pulling open the doors to see whatâs inside.
âNo way.â He breathes out a laugh, and you crane your neck to look past his broad shoulders, though itâs no use.
When he turns, arms full of vacuum bags stuffed with blankets and pillows, you feel like you might scream in delight. Especially when Jungkook rips them open beside you and a waft of freshly washed fabric hits you.
âThatâs like hitting the jackpot.â You look up at him, your grin as wide as his as he just laughs. âCan you light the fireplace too?â
Jungkook furrows his brows as he looks around the hut, likely because he hadnât spotted it until now. But as soon as he clocks it, along with the stack of dried wood beside it, heâs off in a flash, inspecting the chimney and everything else.
Meanwhile, you gather all the bedding and spread it out on the bed, purposefully ignoring the fact that thereâs only this one bed in the hut and not even a couch. It shouldnât be a big dealâyouâve done more than sleep in the same bed as Jungkook before, and youâre both clearly single, so thereâs nothing your conscience can protest about.
Still, time has passed, and youâve clearly drifted apart more than you wouldâve liked. Itâs an unusual situation youâre in, an emergency really, and youâll have to adjust to it without reading too much into it.
âGot a lighter on you?â
You pull it out of your pocket, leaving Yoongiâs cigarettes in your pocket that you nicked this morning alongside before leaving, and toss the lighter his way which he catches effortlessly with one hand, lighting up the kindling heâs set, framed by a few larger sticks of wood.
Jungkook watches the fire intently, and soon enough the hutâs heating up, allowing you to take off your coat. Not wanting to keep your boots on any longerâby now, theyâve cut off all circulation in your feetâyou pull them off as well, then crawl onto the bed, settling against the headboard under the layers of blankets.
Youâre absolutely knackered at this point, and as you check the time on your phone, you realise itâs already past dinnertime.
âYou can join me, you know?â you smile as Jungkook turns around, muttering an âokayâ and starting to peel off his gear too, though you donât miss the flush creeping up to his ears.
How endearing he can still be.
The bedâs clearly not meant for twoâespecially not when Jungkookâs become this buff. Heâd probably struggle to fit on his own, let alone with someone else. And though youâre fairly petite next to him, youâre both squished together, personal space nonexistent. Still, itâs better than freezing to death outside.
âIâm so tired,â you yawn.
âIâm so hungry.â
The pout on Jungkookâs face makes you giggle; itâs just so him. Without thinking, you lean over him to fetch the food from your coat. Only when you settle back beside him do you notice how stiff heâs gone.
You donât comment on it, just hand him the leftovers, which he reluctantly takes, though this time he doesnât engulf your hands like he did yesterday. Not that youâd admit it, but youâre a bit sad he didnât do it again.
âYou hungry too? Itâs your food.â
âIâm good, Jungkook, please just eat.â
Youâre starting to read him again, just a bit less hazy than it was the last few days. So before he can start arguing with you, those sad boba eyes pleading for you to eat when youâre genuinely not hungry, you lay your hand over his arm, giving it a light squeeze. âIâm not hungry, promise.â
With that, Jungkook starts to eat and you lean back, slumping more into the blankets as he eats in silence, your eyes growing heavy with each passing minute.Â
âYou can sleep if you want.â Jungkook gently pulls the blanket higher over your shoulder as you lie down fully, your head nearly resting against his hip.
âIâm still cold,â you mumble sleepily, though thereâs no chance youâll really fall asleep while youâre still shivering like this. The stormâs really taken it out of you.
Jungkook shifts, and when you open your eyes, you realise heâs finished eating and is lying down facing you. âTurn around.â
Lying beside him like this, faces just inches apart, is something you never thought would happen again. And while itâs hard to look away from himâthe slope of his nose, the Cupidâs bow of his lips making them almost too invitingâyou fight against the blankets draped over you both and turn around. Jungkook slips an arm around your waist without much care, pulling you fully against him until thereâs no space left between you.
Heart racing like a hummingbirdâs wings, you try to relax into his hold, but the thin layer of fabric separating you makes it feel as though youâre bare. Youâd seen the contours of his body when he stripped off his gear, the black thermal shirt and pants clinging to his muscles like a second skin, leaving nothing to the imagination. But feeling his solid body against yours like this, after so long, leaves your head spinning in circles you canât seem to stop.
You havenât noticed how your hips press back against his crotch, havenât noticed the way your body instinctively moves against his until Jungkookâs breath hits your ear.
âSorry,â you breathe, but somehow, you canât bring yourself to stop. His large hand, which had been resting on the mattress beside you, slides up along your stomach, stopping just before cupping your breast from below, and you know youâve stepped through a door that shouldâve been left closed.
Heat rises within you, making you shiver with something far more pleasant than the cold. You need more of him, more of his touch, and your hand slips from beneath the blankets, reaching back to tangle in the hair at the back of his head, willing yourself to just feel and nothing more.Â
His quick breaths ghost across the part of your neck thatâs bare, just enough to spark more want not only in your heart but your cunt too. You tug gently at his hair, urging him down, igniting a fire you know wonât be put out easily.
Before his hand fully cups your breast, he pulls you even tighter against him, hot lips kissing and sucking at your skin as you press yourself back, trying to ease the ache between your legs against his growing cock.
The low moans slipping from Jungkookâs throat are music to your ears, and the realisation that he likely sang that song not for Hara, but for you, sends another wave of arousal out of your cunt.
âJungkookâŠâ you rasp, basking in his touch, but as soon as his name leaves your lips, he pulls back.
Thinking youâve done something wrong, you turn your head, only to see him tugging off the last of his clothes. Relieved and more turned on than youâve ever been, you strip off your own gear, leaving the blanket draped over you. Itâs been years, your bodyâs changed, and while you know it shouldnât matter, you still hope he doesnât notice.
In a blink, heâs back, resuming where he left off, though now itâs his warm, smooth skin against yours. The ridges of his abdomen press along your back, and the feel of his cockâhard and oh so hotâagainst the cheeks of your ass is pure bliss.
You turn your head, trying to catch his gaze, maybe even hoping for a kiss, but when you catch sight of the familiar chain around his neck, it stops you in your tracks.
Jungkook pauses too, his eyes questioning, but as soon as he realises what youâre looking at, he gives you a lazy smirk, his hand cupping your face to turn you towards him and with it your whole body.Â
You expect him to kiss you now, hungrily like he always did, but instead, he brushes his lips along your cheek, your neck, shifting to settle between your legs while the cool metal of the chainâs grazing your tits with every shift of his body.
âI donât have a condom. I couldâŠeat you out.â
His thigh pressing against you doesnât lessen the ache, but you remember the one scare you had together, that time you thought you might be pregnant not long after youâd started dating. It wasnât that you wouldnât have wanted it, but youâd both been so young. Even now, the thought makes your heart skip, but not as violently as it used to. Youâd be ready and willing to take the risk, though, would he?Â
âIâm clean, on the pill.â
Jungkook lets out a low groan against your neck as you press your thigh gently against his cock, needing to give something back.
âI havenât been with anyone since you. So clean.â
Is he serious? The thought hits you hard, and though you know he never lied to you before, you still canât help but pull back, needing to see his face.
âYou havenât?â
âNo.â His voice is barely a whisper, and the same love you remember shines in his eyes, making you tear up.
âMe too.â
âFuck.â He returns to your neck, his fingers tracing your lines until they find your weeping cunt, slipping between your lips to spread your juices in gentle, familiar strokes as he preps you, every touch an echo of the love that maybe never faded.
The first stretch of his middle finger inside you is nothing short of insane, drawing you higher with a single stroke than any toy has managed in years. The way your cunt clenches around him seems to drive Jungkook on even more as he pumps with precise motions, soon adding his ring finger, bringing you dangerously close to euphoria.
Jungkookâs free hand roams from your neck to your tits, back and forth, squeezing, mapping you out like he forgot how you felt like, though finally resting on your jaw as he nestles his head between your shoulder and neck, leaving soft love bites in his wake.
Itâs when he picks up the pace, the base of his palm hitting your clit relentlessly with each thrust, that you come undone, your orgasm flooding over his hand as he continues, determined to not stop just yet.Â
A muffled whine of your name slips from his lips, softer than youâve ever heard, and while you long to hear him call your pet name like he used to, it only amplifies the fullness in your heart for him.
Jungkook keeps his fingers inside you, now scissoring them to stretch you further as you cling to his back, not caring if you leave angry marks.Â
âThink you can take it?â
âYes,â you mewl, not caring if you couldnât. Youâll take him, you need him, need to feel as if none of those years apart ever happened.
Once again, you think he might finally kiss you, but instead, he leans in and presses a soft kiss to your damp forehead. You momentarily frown, but itâs forgotten the second his cock aligns with your still sobbing cunt, dragging up and down to coat his entire length and even his tight balls.
The sight of Jungkook when he finally pushes in is nothing short of mesmerising. Heâs so perfectly sculpted, every muscle cord defined, and with his piercings and tattoo sleeve, he looks like a fantasy you never dared dreaming of.Â
Youâve always had a weak spot for tattoos, but seeing them inked across Jungkookâs skin? Thatâs your ultimate downfall. A glorious downfall, as the burn of his thick length pushing deep inside you sends you reeling, until heâs so far in that you canât tell where he starts and you end.
âOh my god,â you choke out, overwhelmed by everything Jungkook isâand everything heâs become.
Heâs unusually silent, though you barely notice, not when he begins to rock his hips, leisurely sliding his massive cock in and out, low grunts and moans escaping him as his gaze locks onto yours and not dares to stray.Â
Jungkook leans back, increasing the intensity of his thrusts, sweat forming in small beads along the ridges of his chest and abs, dripping down despite the cold. His nipples are hard, and your mouth waters with the urge to suck on them. But seeing his own mouth slightly parted, breaths quickening in time with the rhythm of his hips, youâre sure heâs thinking the same, drawn to your own nipples, standing proud on the jiggling flesh of your chest.Â
And while you wish you were the flicker of firelight dancing across his skin, youâre not far behind, as his hands find their way from your hips to your tits, caressing them like he always did, giving you everything and far more. You need something to ground yourself, a way to keep from shattering under the emotions running wild in your mind, intensified with every thrust Jungkook drives into your core. So, you grip his wrists, not to stop him, but to urge him onâto make him pinch harder.
Maybe you need the bite of it, maybe you want him to not just take away the ache, but be the reason you remember this night years from now.
âJungkook, Iâm so close, oh my god.â
The grunt that escapes him reverberates through you, nearly pushing you over the edge on its own, but he slows, setting a gentler pace as he shifts so his mouth can worship you from your breasts to your neck, leaving a trail of hickeys across your delicate skin.
You know the two of you will be marked by the end of the night, and right now, thatâs all you want. You want to leave yourself etched into his skin, to reclaim your place not only in his heart but in every part of him.
In this moment, itâs like youâre finally wholeânot just because Jungkook fills you completely, but because he completes you. He always has, and while youâve both been damned by what happened before, it feels like redemption might be close.
âYouâreâŠâ Jungkook murmurs against your skin, his warm breath searing into you, though you need him to finish his sentence, need to hear it.
But as you cradle his head in your hands and he lifts his gaze to meet yours, his eyes are hooded, yet glistening, and your throat tightens at the sight too.
Face to face, you share the same breath, as if you share one heart, your small hands gripping his face as if you never want to let go, his hands cradling your small head with the tenderness that once meant everything. Itâs as though you feel what heâs trying to sayâbut somehow, you donât.
Thereâs still a wall between you, still something unsaid screaming in the silence that just canât seem to go away, and youâre sure he feels it too. He feels it as your orgasm builds, feels it in the desperation of his own thrusts, in the matching, agonising, wordless ache in both your eyes, feels it when you both shatter together in a burst of all colours and stars in existence.Â
And then, all thatâs left is pain.
He hasnât kissed you, and you didnât kiss him either.
And as he pulls his now-softening length from your still-pulsing cunt and reaches for a tissue from his trousers off the floor to help you clean up, he silently gets dressed.Â
Dresses as if heâs ashamed, dressed as if he regrets it, dressed as if youâre the worst thing thatâs ever happened to him.
So you do the same, slipping into your clothes before lying back down, shifting as close to the wall as possible, facing away from him to give him some peace where none is found.Â
The tears falling silently onto the pillow should only be from the shivering thatâs returned, a byproduct of the cold that momentarily disappeared but is now back as if you were never meant to feel warm again.
Finally, exhaustion sweeps over you. Physically. Mentally. And everything in between.Â
And as Jungkook lies down too, once more pulling you close and wrapping you in the warmth you crave more than you can bear to admit, your eyes fall shut almost effortlessly.
Maybe sleeping it all away will make it better, forgotten as a dream that never was.
Forgotten, like everything good that once was but now isnât anymore.
Forgotten, like the tear you feel slide down the back of your neck, disappearing into the fabric of your shirt where all your sins and failures lie buried.
01 âą 02 âą masterlist âą 04
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#fic: CCL#bts fanfic#bts imagines#bts army#bts jungkook#jeon jungkook#jungkook x reader#jungkook fanfic#jungkook x you#jungkook imagine#jjk x reader#romcom#Jungkook smut#bts smut#Jungkook fluff#bts fluff#jungkook bts#jungkook romance#Jungkook romcom#jungkook#crack fic#kim namjoon#namjoon#bts namjoon#bts kim seokjin#kim seokjin#bts min yoongi#min yoongi#park jimin#bts park jimin
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Oh god, I love this so much!
Short DPXDC Prompts #921
During Bruce's multi year long journey in training to become The Batman, one of his teachers, a man his age, teaches him stealth and mechanics. Throughout the few months that Danny teaches Bruce Wayne, their relationship stops being mentor and mentee and far more romantic in nature.
#danny phantom x detective comics#dcxdp#dcxdp crossover#dpxdc#dpxdc crossover#previous tags:#they have a whirlwind romance that ends one morning when bruce wakes up and realises three months have passed and he has a mission#danny wakes up to find bruce standing outside their house surveying the road and comes up behind him to circle his hands around his waist#'you're leaving... aren't you?' 'yes. i'm sorry danny.'#'no you're not... but that's okay. you're doing what you think is right and i admire that. i wish you'd see it my way but that's okay.#i'll be here when you come to your senses.' and then they kiss and its sad and bittersweet and tender and full of love and bruce leaves#everything else happens as it happens and eventually he forgets. he gets consumed with his mission#he saves who he can and he loses who he canât and he never lets himself think of what could have been#with justice and righteousness#of that cosy little house on the outskirts of that middle-of-nowhere town#eventually he finds himself a robin#and another and another#he works on building the batman and he works on building the justice league and eventually he finds heâs built a family#and eventually he finds himself content#one evening he's sitting at the head of the table where - for once - everyone has gathered for dinner#all smiling and laughing and tormenting each other#there's a swell of love in his chest and he thinks this is it. this is what danny meant. this is more important than being good.#and... and now what?#does he go back to find danny? all shy and tongue-twisted because what on earth are you meant to say???#danny would just give him one look and burst out laughing at his pink cheeks - which just makes him blush all the more#but it'll be just like he never left - they still slot together like puzzle pieces - different but part of a whole#thats what bruce dreams of doing#or does danny coming crashing in one night - hurt and bleeding and on the verge of passing out#like 'hey bruce how's it been? i was in the neighbourbood just thought I'd drop by' he wheezes grinning through bloodied teeth#still happy and laughing and lovely even through his pain. bruce can't help but fall for him all over again
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