#and I need to try to internalise the fact that I can just post

[theirrepressibleheiress]

I feel this deeply in my soul about my own stuff but also all your posts, both about Twitch and more broadly, are really cool! (Esp your art!!!)

I think it's important to remember that like? A thing doesn't have to be done or fully formed or perfect to be shared - a lot of my wildest and coolest ideas have come from sharing a seed of a thought and bouncing it off other people and watching it evolve into something from that.

i need to get over my NPC syndrome (idk what to call it. the 'doesn't feel like i can/too shy to share ideas out of the blue, need to be prompted or invited first' syndrome)

i have so many things in my brain,,,i have lots of idea snippets that i'd like to share!! but there is a wall in the way, and it doesn't help that i'm bad at verbalising things

very annoying!!!

[franzivonkarma]

I desperately need people to understand that Franziska's whipping thing really isn't solely a silly character gimmick. Of course it is to a degree, just like Godot and coffee and Klavier and air guitar in court, but so often I see people dismiss Franziska's whipping trait as an annoying feature that adds nothing to her character and I cannot stand it. This is a bit of a rant and I touch on gender inequality and the way I see a lot of men treat her as a character a decent amount within this because I feel like the fact that she is a woman is actually very important to this element of her character, and her treatment is also a lot of the reason why I feel compelled to talk about this in the first place.

Firstly what you need to understand is that not only is Franziska a woman, she is also laughably young when she becomes a prosecutor. She's a 13 year old girl trying to hold the attention of a courtroom of mostly grown men and be taken seriously. It's no secret that misogyny does exist in the Ace Attorney universe of course (see: Godot), but aside from this, maybe it's just because I've been playing Ace Attorney Investigations recently, but she is just very small all around. It's a running gag in Turnabout Reminiscence that she is short, she's small, she can't see things Edgeworth can - although granted Edgeworth is definitely fairly tall, most estimates I've seen linger around 5'8-5'10 (around 170-180cm). And of course, she is only 13 here, she's not done growing, but it's at this age that she actually did begin to prosecute. Naturally, she'd often be underestimated, and we can see a strong desire to prove herself during Turnabout Reminiscence, even just to her father; I can only imagine that this would extend further into her trials as a young girl. Secondly, she's the daughter of Manfred von Karma, whom she idolises to a godlike status and who teaches her everything she knows about prosecuting, and also a lot about life in general - he's her father. There's a lot I could say about their dynamic, but I feel that much of it doesn't need to be said in this specific post if you're already here dedicated to Franziska enough to bother reading this post.

Manfred's courtroom (and often, regular) behaviour revolves a lot around him taking complete control of the entire courtroom, with him even speaking over the judge, overruling objections he does not like and sustaining his own, and instructing witnesses himself. He also often snaps his fingers to direct attention to himself and his point. Franziska learns this, but how does a literal 13 year old girl follow her father in this regard? Well, by force. Whipping someone is a very clear way to get their attention. Not only the person it hits but the people around - whips cracking are loud, they take up a lot of visual space, and they also obviously cause harm to the person they hit. These are all things you can't really ignore - it forces you to look at her and pay attention to her and gives her control of the room exactly like Manfred. I've also been thinking a lot about the end of Justice For All in relation to this. She's lost to Phoenix multiple times and she couldn't beat him even once just to prove that she was better than Edgeworth as she so desperately wanted to. This brings me to another point about her use of her whip. While I think control is a huge aspect and is my main focus here, I think it falls more under the umbrella of Franziska's own perceived shortcomings. We also know that she doesn't believe she lives up to her father's genius, and that she consistently feels like she's walking in Edgeworth's shadow, she says it herself:

I think at least some part of the reason her whip is so important is because she believes she could very well be less than equal to others in the room in terms of certain traits. She sees her father as a genius, knows she isn't equal to him, and internalises this (whether she is actually less intelligent or not I personally don't know what I believe, I haven't played Justice For All in over a year and a half and I would have to replay it to decide my thoughts).

In having to be perfect, there are many expectations she cannot live up to, and this leads to many ways in which she falls short of what she believes she should be. By using her whip, again, she can account for her perceived shortcomings in other areas - control, her intelligence, her ability as a prosecutor. I think this last scene of JFA actually introduces us to the idea that Franziska is somewhat self-doubting in some ways and compares herself a lot with others, not just Manfred, but also Edgeworth, which we see more of in Ace Attorney Investigations during Turnabout Reminiscence, where we see her at 13 attempting to prove that she can "out-logic" Edgeworth for the entire case, and essentially, that she is "more perfect" than he is.

But to come back to her whip, control, and the end of Justice For All.

She is left with little of who she was before and doesn't know how to move on - everything she was taught to be from the moment she was born, she no longer is. She is 18 here, prosecuting for 5 years already and desperate to be prosecuting for even longer. As far as her life was set out, this was basically it for her - become a perfect prosecutor and prosecute perfectly just like Manfred - the ideal prosecutor in her eyes.

A Von Karma is perfect, but she is not - she lost, just like Edgeworth, whom she shamed for the same thing. She gives up her whip here, and I feel that it's truly symbolic of how she feels like she's completely lost control of herself, her life, her relationship with her father and most obviously her occupation as a prosecutor. How could she continue being a prosecutor when she no longer lives up to the idea of it that she's had her entire life? What use is her whip if she will not need to hold the court's attention any longer?

I'm sure a million other people have thrown their coin in the pot on this exact topic, and I'm sure many have said the same thing as me and many have said something different, but I needed to write my thoughts out about it because I couldn't stop thinking about her. This is one big reason why I feel like I see a lot of men who don't understand Franziska and see her as very annoying, gimmicky, and my least favourite - a "female Edgeworth." She is a woman who steals attention and space forcibly; both from characters in-game, and also from the player with her animations that take up time in trials and a lot of the visual space. Of course this makes her unpopular with a lot of men. I'm not saying that if you dislike her or the whip it comes from a place of misogyny, I am saying that I think her whipping trait is reduced to a stupid, annoying gimmick more than, say, Godot and his coffee, because a lot of people don't really care to see that there is intention behind it that reveals a lot about her character, just like how Godot's coffee problem is relevant to his backstory.

[crimson-and-clover-1717]

Ed & Soft Things (long post)

Just thinking about the years that have passed between these two images, and Ed appearing to remain in a form of childhood stasis and trauma demonstrated through the use of setting and body language.

Ed’s sitting at the left side of a window, knees pulled up. The bed or bench he appears to be on both times has very little in the way of softness or comfort. The second image as an adult is by tortured design, but the first screams childhood poverty and neglect. In the first image also, the chaos is external, but you can see Ed is internalising it, trying to stop the sensory overload, what this display of violence is doing to his child’s soul, by placing his hands over his ears.

By the second image, the childhood trauma is ingrained and a new layer of pain and abandonment is being laid over the top. It’s the inability to process the loss of Stede healthily, a huge part of which is triggered by Izzy’s threats. Ed situates himself back within his childhood pain here. He turns Stede’s Captain’s quarters into a stark reproduction of his childhood home, and turns himself back into that child. Whether he does so knowingly or is in some way reaching after psychological familiarity is open to interpretation.

Something really significant though after Ed meets Stede is his reaching after a robe or blankets to hide under when he is in psychological distress. I don’t feel that is something he did as a child because I don’t think he had the right circumstances, practically or psychologically, to do so. The finding of soft things comforting has always been a part of who Ed is though, which is why he stims secretly with the silk when distressed. What Ed starts to do later is show openly his need for the comfort of soft things when upset, and on a much larger scale. He goes from holding fabric to fabric holding him.

The use of soft coverings is a form of self-soothing and points to the beginnings of healing. Ed has always needed to make himself small when distressed, but the battle-jacket in the bathtub, and the depression robe in the blanket fort, are Ed starting to attempt better self care. It’s as if Stede’s respect for the silk opens a door for Ed to develop this care further. It’s important also that after Stede’s departure, Ed practices that same self care with soft things until Izzy triggers the Kraken spiral.

In Red Flags, we see Ed uncovered with little to no emotional self care in the way of soft things. I take some comfort from the fact, despite lying on the floor, he is at least on a soft rug rather than bare wood. It indicates there’s something still there, some need for comfort, but it’s limited and waning. During the final moments of the mutiny, he lies on bare wood, nothing to comfort him at all.

Which is why the couch scene in Fun and Games is so significant. Imagine this played a different way with Ed curling up in a window position in trauma or lying on the floor, after finding out about Mary. But he doesn’t. Upon Stede’s return (and let’s give some credit to the work Ed tries to do in the Gravy Basket), Ed is already reverting to a healthier way of processing his pain: he’s straight under that blanket.

There’s something else too. In the childhood scene, the ending of season one, and the Red Flags montage, Ed is silent. He’s alone, either physically, emotionally or both. Whilst in the bathtub and in the blanket fort, it’s as if Ed’s on a therapist’s couch. He makes himself safe with soft coverings and tries to show his inner self by talking - because someone is there who cares.

Initially in the couch scene, Ed remains silent. He’s not sure if he’s safe to speak. It’s a liminal moment. But Stede is just so gently patient, Ed soon finds his words. Ed knows Stede’s ethos is talk it through. And look at him go! He can’t stop. Let it all out, Ed!

And that’s kind of how we know Ed has already begun to heal, plus forgive Stede. A huge reason Ed is able to process and move through his feelings quickly is because Stede allows that safe space to do so. Ed can hide under a blanket without feeling mocked. He doesn’t have to pretend he’s something he isn’t. No stoicism needed. Stede is instrumental in the process of Ed being able to heal, and forgive him.

Ed diving under blankets is never a problem. Ed speaking a lot whilst upset is never a problem. It’s when Ed doesn’t do these things, he needs help. When he denies himself physical and emotional comfort, and is mostly silent - cornerstones of toxic masculinity. But it does also show the importance of others. You can’t talk if there’s no one to listen (which is why the ridding of Lucius is partly an act of self harm). Ed is so desperate to talk though, he creates a toxic version of himself in the gravy basket in order to thrash it out.

Ed’s been an island too long. Now he has Stede to share the load. And he will learn how to be there for Stede too. Together they can have soft things, self care, and talk things through.

It’s amazing how quickly Ed feels emotionally supported once Stede returns. And actually how quickly Ed comes out from under that blanket, yet is still emotionally open; processing, listening.

I like also that Ed feels safe enough to ‘tell off’ Stede. And that Stede can argue back safely too. They really do create their own safe-space. Bicker like an old married couple, but it’s nothing like Ed’s parents. Experiencing healthy disagreement has to also be healing for Ed. They love each other and that will always win through in the end.

[halitis]

Teen Roy Harper and Oliver Queen shenanigans? I usually just see grown up Roy with Ollie but I crave more of a father - son bond.

ty for sending through the ask! they send me fucking INSANE!!! i love complex parent-child relationships and i think a lot of people see roy’s speedy era with ollie as just. all bad. but it isn’t! ollie is a good dad overall, yes he has had horrible moments and made lots of mistakes but he did work hard to fix his wrongs (n-52 ollie and roy's first re-meeting can go suck my left tit).

(sorry i took so long to respond! these posts actually take quite a while to type out, and get my thoughts down.)

the first time roy got sick while he was with ollie, ollie was stressing. he’s not ready for this! stitches? easy. girl troubles? no problem. but a fever and runny nose? oh god oh fuck. he’s relying on what he’s seen parents do in movies, so he decides to read roy a story! roy is certainly too old for this and also Doesn’t Love reading, but he bears it because it’s kinda funny for a bit. after like third time ollie tries, roy just goes “pls. you don’t have to do this. lets just watch a movie or something.”. now it becomes a tradition that whenever one of them gets sick, the other will just chill and watch movies with them. they don’t need to talk, the quiet company is much better.

roy genuinely looks up to ollie, so much. he admires the man in everyway, roy grows as a person in ollie's presence. roy developed his sense of justice and ethics from ollie (you can see it through how they both prefer to try and change the system over the individual). i think for the longest time, ollie could do no wrong in roys eyes, which is why their relationship fell apart so harshly because roy had unrealistic expectations of the man and ollie wss just... Not being a good father in this moment. it took a while to adjust his self worth to not be based off his perceived value to others.

[continued under read more]

ollie may be a lot of things, but he is Not dumb enough to not give roy the sex talk. is it the best? probably not. but he was VERY serious about having it when roy moved in, because he remembers himself as a teenager and is just like "oh god. oh GOD..." (he likes to think hes not like regina georges mum, but he deffo is.... ur getting old dude :/ sorry to tell you)

(DONT COMMENT ON THE FACT THAT HES WATCHING PORN. IM AWARE. I DONT QUESTION ANYTHING THIS MAN DOES ANYMORE)

when ollie first starts going out with someone, roy goes and gives ollie the exact same talk. in front of his date. ollie is just like "ahaha.... kids right?" roy has to spend the night at hal's house hiding out from him. (not out of any serious fear of repercussion, more playful).

i know the stereotype is that ollie's always getting into fights over politics, but it is actually so incredibly both of them. these two only increase in energy and passion when with each other. catch ollie going "YEAH THATS MY BOY!" when roy is chewing the fuck out of someone.

to me? they are both so autistic... idc no one can convince me otherwise. ollie doesn't realise till he hits his late teens, and even then hes in denial about it. he comes to terms with it a bit better after the island, so when he starts to recognise the same things in roy? he is quick to give that boy all the support he needs. he refuses to even let anyone talk shit or about it near roy, because he is so petrified of the the same internalised ableism he had manifesting in roy too.

ollie gets a small tattoo for roy, nothing big. probably just a little one on his back or ankle or something. he didn't even really plan to do it? it just happened. he sends roy a pic after its done and roy is just. emotionally wrecked.... he does not know what to say.... how does he even express what this means to him? its a permanent commitment to him. (he ends up just messaging back "looks ugly :/", ollie can read between the lines well enough to know what he means).

the first near death experience roy has with ollie he gets Fucked Up over it... he's already lost 2 other father figures, he can't lose another. he doesn't say anything about it, but hes attatched to the hip for ollie for at least 2 weeks... ollie didnt even realise why till he mentioned it off handedly to diana and shes like.... thats a child. hes scared. Fix It. they still dont talk about it, but ollie stops getting snappy at roy for following him around.

okay i have more to say, but im actively about to get in the car so i gotta go!!! anyone feel free to send another ask if they want me to finish up laterz!

aND FOR U ANON... WHO WAITED 50 YEARS FOR ME TO FINISH THIS.....

I <3 U

[kavehayati]

Man I wish I could feel bad enough for even talking so I just don’t yap too much it just feels embarrassing a lot of the time

My brother just called me an unskippable NPC 😭

[study-like-you-mean-it]

2024 Goal Setting for People Who Used to be Studyblr Queens and are Now Just Muddling Through Adult Life

I know you, you know me. I've had this account since I was freshly 16 and I'm 23 (and a half) now, and I can guarantee there's loads of you in the same boat right now.

Where did I go? What did I do? I finished my Master's Degree and realised (with some trepidation) at the end of it that I'd achieved everything that was on my list of things to achieve ever, and I didn't really have a plan on what I was going to do, so for what may have been the first time in my life I just...winged it. Started measuring progress according to how I felt about it. And it worked! Lots of good has come out of it so let me suggest some goal setting approaches to help if you're in a similar position (and given the studyblr -> chaos pipeline I might suggest there's at least a few people this might help)

Point 1 - Don't set yourself academic goals

"But Study Like You Mean It, I always set academic goals!" I hear you say. I appreciate the irony of my username in relation to this. Point is, you're not in academia anymore. You need to stop goal setting like you're in academia, and the easiest way to do this is to stop setting academic goals.

"But I like the pursuit of knowledge!" I hear you counter. So do I, but if you've just come out of a hothouse academic setting, you *really* need to consider who you're goal setting for. Do you like the idea of being a polyglot by the end of the year? Sure, fine, whatever, but consider who you're goal setting for. Do you want to be a polyglot because you like the process of learning languages, or because you want to show to others that you know languages? It sounds silly, but you're not working to a grade anymore, and it's absolutely essential that you reflect on why you like doing academic things. This doesn't apply to everyone, but I would kick off the process of self-reflection on this (because you know the Studyblr types are most likely guilty of performative learning) by refusing to set yourself academic goals.

If you don't hit a yardstick, what's the worst that will happen?

(nothing- the answer is nothing and you need to start getting comfortable with that)

Point 2 - Set Process-Based Goals

Building on the last point, if you want to have achieved something by the end of the year, how can you frame it in a way that's definitely not you trying to put down a point to show to others that you've improved, and instead internalise your sense of progress? Maybe the goal you set is "by the end of the year, I want to feel like I understand internalised growth and progress", and you'll know at the end of the year when you self-reflect if you've succeeded in that.

Otherwise, set a process-based goal. If you want to get better at something, but know you're guilty of holding yourself to externalised yardsticks, set yourself a goal that's about the process rather than the result. Scary, I know. For example, say you want to start playing a sport. If you go in without a process-based goal, you could end up saying to yourself "I want to put myself in a position where I qualify for a team two leagues above by the end of the season," which is a SMART* goal, but incredibly determined by outside reflections on your own ability, and very end-result focused. There's a time and a place for goals like this, but if you're coming off a high-intensity academic environment, I would argue that it's not the right place. Instead, what about "I will show up every week and be positive about the fact that I'm not perfect"? It's about the learning process, and I think post-university a lot of people fall out of love with the actual learning process, and become too mired in results.

*specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, time-bound

Point 3 - What happens if you don't hit your goal?

I love asking this question to people who've come out of academic environments.

Literally what's going to happen if you can't meet the goal that you've set for yourself when you set an end-goal focused goal?

Nothing!!!!!

It's so freeing. Embrace it! There are no time bounds on learning, so enjoy the learning! There's no exam to pass, no professors to wow, no applications to get accepted. It's just you learning how to be you, and remembering why you love to get good at things!

Part 4 - Habits =/= Goals

This one maybe is a bit tricky to explain. It's the difference between "I'm going to get into the practice of reading on my commute when I can" and "I must finish 10 books this year by reading on my commute when I can". One of them is about introducing something new into your life because it makes you feel good, and the other one is about setting limits on that because you feel you need to control the way that you enjoy things (this comes from academia putting constraints on learning, etc.).

Be patient with yourself, for goodness' sakes. Get into the habit and enjoy the process, don't automatically find ways to be masochistic about it.

My Goal Setting Approach

Now I've clarified the kinds of goals to set in this new and scary world, I'll run through my approach to implement them. First thing to note is I like setting lots of goals, but then those all get broken into little habits that I can focus on in my day to day, as well as timeline-less tasks to accomplish when I've got the time free.

I start with areas I'd like to improve myself in (again, not as a discipline thing, but towards the vision that I might be a more rounded and enriched person because of it):

Personal - how can I become more introspective/calm/mindful?

Financial - how can I become more fiscally responsible now I'm an adult?

Social - how do I make time for others?

Work - what does progress at work over this year look like?

Sport - this can be replaced by whatever your main hobby is

Intellectual - how can I enrich myself and learn about things that I'm interested in?

I won't run through all of these, but I'll create some examples:

Domain: Financial - how can I become more fiscally responsible now I'm an adult?

General points on this: I can save more money, I can improve my credit score, I can pay off some loans

Habits: for the first, I can maybe aim to save 20% of my takehome, by putting 10% in at the start of the month, and trying to put 10% in at the end if I've got enough, and I can set up the timelineless task of opening a high interest-rate savings account for money that I don't need for emergency access; for the second, I can set the timelineless task of setting up a credit card, and get into the habit of paying for my groceries with it; for the third, I can sit down and look at how much of my takehome I can dedicate to this, and then get into the habit of paying off a sustainable amount

Now, I have the timelineless tasks fo getting a credit card, opening a new savings account, and sitting down and looking at my loans, and then I have the two habits of tucking bits of money away and paying off some loans. Note that there's nothing that's made it too urgent (which I admit is a privilege) and there's nothing that tells me I'm a bad person for not being able to do it. Another example:

Domain: intellectual - how can I enrich myself and learn about things that I'm interested in?

General points on this: I would like to read more broadly, I would like to improve my French, I would like to understand more about world events

Habits: for the first, I can read on my commute when I can get a seat on the train, as I have half an hour each way so I can use that time to read. I can set the timelineless task of exploring the kinds of books that I'd like to read; for the second, I can choose to consume more French media when I feel like I have the mental capacity. I also have to speak French at work, so I want to get into the habit of not cowarding out and switching to English (scary but doable); for the last, I can get into the habit of watching the evening news (so it's contained within a time slot and I'm not being overwhelmed by the 24h news cycle) and I can set the timelineless task of picking up a copy of a magazine like the economist once in a while to get a deeper understanding.

So the habits to get into are reading on my commute, choosing to speak more in French, and watching the news when I can; the tasks are maybe picking up a copy of a magazine and coming up with a reading list.

The whole point of this approach is it breaks your bigger goals into a timeline-free to-do list, and then a list of small habits that you can get into. The good news is that there's no punishment for failure! If I want to listen to the Bongo's Bingo Greatest Hits playlist on the train one morning instead of reading about the modern history of Cambodia, nobody's going to come along and tell me off for not being serious enough, or clever enough, or "academic" enough about my approach to life. The to-do list aspect I find immensely helpful, as often I struggle to write larger-level to-do lists when I'm in the middle of the year, because I don't have the same kind of clarity over the types of progress I want to make when I'm in the middle of things.

Anyway, I hope this is useful, and a good counterpoint to the mindset that everyone who's ever been near Studyblr has. Learning now is only for enjoyment, so enjoy that aspect! Live your life! Understand that the process of betterment is all about enriching your personal sphere and nothing about other people because (drumroll) literally nobody else cares! In a good way! Nobody cares that you've not mastered Polish in 3 weeks or read the entire academic output of Montaigne in a week! And it's cool if you have, but the person you are is more important, and freeing yourself from external yardsticks is so so crucial!

Love to anyone who read this far ♥

[heretherebedork]

I was just reading your post about Way's betrayal and how that relates to the idea of family that Babe is building with Charlie. And I have a *lot* of feelings about Way's betrayal, and the fact that he consistently devalues Babe's ability to love *in general* because Babe won't/can't love him in the specific way he wants, even though Babe obviously adores him. And I feel like that must come through for Babe - not only that Way doesn't want him to love anyone romantically if it can't be him, and acts to make sure that he doesn't try - but also that his love in general isn't valuable if it doesn't take the specific shape Way wants. And then along comes Charlie, and says "Not only are you worthy of love, loving you is the easiest thing I've ever done and I'm prepared to devote my literal life to it." And then he steps that up and says "Not only is your romantic love valuable, but you have such obvious love in you that I think you would make a great parent, that you could be trusted and relied upon to love and nurture a child. And I would like to be involved in that personally." And for Way, his best friend, the person he trusts most, to turn around and take this thing he's only just started internalising about himself and betray it, to say that it would be fine for him to have these children they both know Tony is going to sell to the highest bidder just because it would make Tony stop chasing them? I don't have words. Just... thank god he'd made up with Charlie by that point because imagine him having to process that alone. Anyway, thank you for your excellent post and sorry for the flailing in your askbox. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this aspect of things.

I think part of what I find most fascinating is that Babe stayed in denial of Way's romantic love for him as long as possible including dismissing it as unimportant compared to their friendship even after he had to know what was going on.

And Babe having to face that Way not only manipulated him and controlled him in that final moment but the idea that he had been doing that all along? That Way had been telling him that love wasn't worthwhile because it wasn't the love Way wanted him to have?

Charlie really does give Babe everything he needs and wants, to be loved and to cared for and to be trusted and to be told that he is not just worthy but that he can be more.

That's why that whole Mama and Papa thing is so beautiful and seeing Way try to twist it is even worse. Because, to Babe, being called Mama is the most amazing thing. As you said, it validates not only that he is worthy of love but that he is worthy of giving love.

Babe has, for a very long time, locked up his want to be loved and to love in return, locked it behind sex and masculinity and the real belief that he wasn't worthy of loving or being loved, that he would never find what he was searching for and so he stopped searching. Why search for love when the one person who knew you better than anyone else convinced you that it could never be yours?

Charlie gave him love, gave him the chance to love and be loved, to be cared for and held and for all those soft moment and then Charlie said 'Mama, you are worthy of love and of being loved and making a family, a new family, a better family' and Babe melted entirely because he so desperately wants that.

And that's why Way's love is even more painful. Because Way loved Babe only if he was Way's. That's why I call Way an incel. Because the Babe that Way loved was a a Babe that Way was trying to shape. It was not the real Babe, not the babygirl who melts into Charlie's arms and melts into the pet name of Mama. Way loved his idea of Babe and that was why he was so able to hurt him.

Babe dreams of a family and raising children and having his lover at his side but Way dreams of the idea of Babe at his side and that means that none of the rest of it matters.

Way twisted Babe's dreams to fit his own. He saw Babe wanting a family and decided that going back to their original family would be just as good, wouldn't it? Now, a lot of that does come from the abusive nature of their former family that Babe escaped in a way Way didn't escape but that's just as hard to really focus on because, yes, it's an explanation but it's not an excuse.

Way has created a hole in heart that he keeps trying to fit Babe into because he's convinced that hole is Babe-shaped but the truth is that hole in his heart can never be filled because no one will ever fit that perfectly into yourself with no rough edges or snags.

Charlie lied to Babe but he also loved Babe for Babe and that is why he found his way back to Babe's side while Way lied to Babe but he loved who Babe should have been according to him and that is why he didn't understand when Babe exploded at him.

(Someday, Way may understand why Babe was so hurt but I don't think he's accepted that yet and that is why he is so dangerous. Because he still believes he can get Babe back by bringing him to his side... not understanding what he did to him.)

[secretsofthewilde]

There's something particularly frustrating about how academic fandom studies tend to talk about fandom spaces as being a place for inclusiveness and queer representation when there's still a very prominent misogyny problem throughout them. Even when these studies address issues of racism within fandom shipping dynamics, they still tend to perpetuate the idea that fandom is the rare place where queer ships tend to be more popular than straight ones, without really addressing the fact that this tends to only true when it comes to cis, white, m/m ships. If you want some kind of numerical evidence of this, you just need to look at the statistics on ao3 to see that f/f ships are the least popular kind of pairing on that site. And when you think of the stereotypical big name fandoms, most of them are well known for their m/m ships, with the f/f ships often being dismissed or treated as a joke.

I'm not of the opinion, nor trying to make an argument in support of the idea, that this is due to the stereotype of fangirls fetishising queer men. Instead, I think it's largely due to misogyny* - shocker, I know. I really do think that the stereotypical fangirl gravitates towards slash pairings due to both internalised misogyny and the general prominence of male oriented media over female oriented media (which will therefore have more male characters that are fleshed out with more engaging writing as opposed to their female supporting cast).

However, it's one thing for the abundance of male driven stories to generate more fan works exploring said characters, and another entirely for those same fans to then ignore when we do have media that gives us well written and enjoyable female characters. I think it's in part due to our internalised misogyny that fangirls have a tendency to gravitate towards their familiar male orientated shows and then fixate on the same familiar character types, rather than exploring and celebrating the breadth of female-centric media we have finally been getting produced in recent years. And this inability to allow ourselves to enjoy female characters the same way we do with male ones is what leads to an abundance of slash pairings being celebrated in fandom spaces, while femslash ones struggle to get recognition**. The fact that there's a common joke in fandom spaces about popular pairings developing between two characters who never interacted (or for only a brief scene) is all very well and good fun, but this is almost always referring to a m/m pairing.

As fans we should really reflect on why we might celebrate a male character for doing morally grey things, but then hate a female character for exhibiting those exact same traits. It's fine to genuinely not enjoy the writing of a female character (especially when sexist writing is often to blame), but we should consider how much more willing we seem to be to forgive poor writing when it comes to male characters than we are with female characters. If we can make a million headcanons and claim to love a poorly written male character, who is now viewed as something so far removed from the canon of the media he appears in its practically a different character entirely, why do so many of us seem unwilling to do the same for female characters?

We should be doing the same with our female characters - we should be putting more female characters into our favourite dynamics and tropes. I want to see more enemies to lovers headcanons with femslash pairings; I want nbc hannibal levels of art and meta posts about toxic femslash couples; I want johnlock levels of delusion posts about a femslash couple the story writers are claiming they didn't write the subtext for. I would just really love to log into tumblr and see a femslash pairings tag is trending more than once in a blue moon.

*note: obviously misogny is not the only contributing factor, and this initial argument I'm raising doesn't address the issues surrounding racial, gender-queer identities, and other inequalities within fandom. Please do not think I'm ignoring or downplaying them.

**Theres also an argument to be made here about fangirls projecting themselves onto male characters in order to explore queer relationships, without having to challenge their own internalised misogyny/homophobia, but I'll come back to that later (and this in general) and expand on it some other time I think.

[koolaidoverliving]

candymaker and their mutual toxicity need to be studied and it will in fact be me who studies it. (they aren't a canon couple in my main AU n all of this is hypothetical LMFAO) (they are def friendly-ish tho ^_^)

candy pop is the optimistic foil to jason. while they've both been through hell and back, jason internalised his bitterness. he's resentful and believes he's incapable of change—not that he wants to admit he's flawed in the first place. on the other hand, candy pop seeks out the good in the world. he's patient, even if NT makes it difficult for him to be, and he advocates for change, pushing jason to be a better man.

their bond started from a deal, but eventually sprouted into a genuine friendship. platonic love. jason hadn't experienced that before. at least not to its truest extent. when he looked at candy pop, he didn't see amelia in him at all. so why did he love him if that wasn't the case?

in any universe where they fall in love, both of them will deny their feelings. but this post isn't abt their tortuously long slowburn, so all i have to say is candy pop's the first person jason had SINCERELY loved. candy pop wanted jason to love him because of that serious hard-to-get personality of his. and it was fun and jokes at first, then it turned into something more.

they're codependent—mostly jason, because again he never loved someone as much as he loves candy pop and he can't bear the thought of losing him. jason is also used to getting his way in relationships. he's manipulative even if he doesn't intend to be. (not that it cancels it out.)

jason is possessive. (in past relationships, he was mostly the one who showed "affection" via gifts and flattery. he did this to keep his chosen ones at bay. so him being on the receiving end means he'll become overly attached.) he hates when candy pop is gone for too long. he hates when candy pop hangs out with other people. he hates knowing candy pop has the OPTION to hang out with other people in the first place. he tries so hard to seize control of candy pop's relationships, but it doesn't work.

candy pop isn't stupid. candy pop knows how to see through his tactics after being with him for decades. this leads to confrontations, then disagreements. but because jason genuinely loves candy pop, he starts putting in effort to change. he's confused when he doesn't argue back against candy pop, but instead takes his words into consideration, without devaluing them. jason has to get used to this. another reason why they're so compatible for each other is that candy pop understands how difficult it is for jason to change his ways. both of them are flawed.

they both go through hella separation anxiety because of their abandonment issues. candy pop leaves for hunts, or to check in on NT's children. it drives jason insane and the first time candy pop left for longer than he expected, he ended up rearranging his entire flat. meanwhile the only time jason is gone is when jason is at work. candy pop does have a problem with clinginess (like obviously he's clingy even when they're not dating), but he doesn't TRY to lose his mind over it. he'll be pacing around, fidgeting with his hair, doing anything to keep his hands occupied. when he's not going through mood switches, he's relatively calm about it. which i think makes sense because he was in a loving and healthy relationship with april fools so he has enough knowledge to know how relationships work. but then when he has intense mood switches it gets all like DO NOT LEAVE ME or WHY DO YOU STAY YOU SHOULD JUST LEAVE ME or I SHOULD KILL MYSELF SO YOU CAN FIND SOMEONE BETTER (EXAGGERATING)

but jason would recognise his episodes. candy pop doesn't willingly act like this. jason's there to help him calm down. even if it means sitting next to him in silence, reassuring him that he's there.

you obviously cannot have a relationship between a man with anger issues and a man with mood issues and not have them both lash out at each other at some point IT DEFINITELY FUCKING HAPPENS and when it does it'll be jason who feels bad because he doesn't want to lose candy pop so he "apologises" for it (he never once uses the word sorry) with a gift or something and candy pop accepts. if jason ever uses the word sorry i imagine it'd be like "i'm sorry you took it that way."

if it's ever candy pop apologising (and he does use the word sorry) i'd imagine jason forgives him and then gets an ego boost afterwards... but like later on this dynamic would change the more candy pop asks for clarity and the more jason realises "no way i actually feel terrible for treating the love of my life that way?" YES IDIOT if you LOVE soMEONE YOU WANT TO TREAT THEM WELL.

i view jason as someone who loves to have control. but as much he loves control, he loves candy pop even more. and he NEEDS candy pop to love him back. he needs to be loved so bad he'll do anything for him. he's so scared of being abandoned. it gets to a point where he's willing to fuck up his life just so that candy pop doesn't leave him—but candy pop would never do anything to hurt jason. candy pop's always telling jason that he's not broken, and that he doesn't need candy pop to fix him. but jason won't come to terms with that. his parents hammered it into his brain that he's broken, and he believes wholeheartedly that candy pop is as broken as him. and that they can fix each other.

(i've had a scene in my head where one day, candy pop breaks down and says "you were right, i am broken" and. deep down, he wants jason to refute that claim. he wants jason to reassure HIM now that he isn't broken. but all jason says is, "it's okay. we can fix each other." and now candy pop's sobbing harder, unsure if he's comforted or horrified. but hey. if they're broken, at least they're broken together!!!)

candy pop has self doubt issues. he often goes through episodes where he believes jason will leave him, because he can't offer more to him. at times, candy pop is avoidant, too, believing jason doesn't love him as anything more than a tool. (NT gave him the ideology that he's really only a sexual object and nothing else.) jason tells him that's not the case, and that candy pop himself is enough. and when jason's going through the same thing—his is more on the "i'm worthless" end—candy pop makes all his strengths apparent.

TLDR: they need to get therapy. i have more to talk about but let's save my ramblings for other posts...... (BTW I THINK THEY'RE GOOD AS A COUPLE OTHERWISE I WOULDN'T SHIP IT.) (CLARIFYING THEY'RE NOT ABUSIVE AND I DON'T SUPPORT ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS SORRY!!!)

[olderthannetfic]

One thing I really wish more people understood is that wanting to keep something private doesn't mean you're ashamed of it or nefariously trying to hide it.

Not wanting to connect your smutfic account to your real name or your SFW internet presence doesn't mean you think sex is shameful, it means you don't want to connect that part of your creative output to other parts of your life. Maybe you feel like it's none of anyone else's business, maybe you just don't want to have conversations about it with coworkers and casual acquantances, maybe you just enjoy writing smut in secret and sharing it anonymously. All of these can be the case without your being ashamed or embarased of your fic.

Similarily, not wanting to share your age, health, finances, ethnicity, etc in a social media header doesn't mean you're nefariously hiding these details OR that you're ashamed of them. Maybe you're keeping them private for your own safety, or because they're none of anyone's business. Or maybe you don't keep them private and just don't want to define yourself by those details for someone who hasn't even read your posts yet.

I see a lot of sort of... reverse shaming? shaming about shame? online these days. If you don't state your ethnicity or sexual orientation or mental health diagnosis in your About Me, it's because you're ashamed of that and trying to hide it and have internalised whateverphobia.

It gets very messy with anything kinky or sexually explicit, because if you DO share that you write noncon fic, then you're evil and forcing it on everyone (everyone who's too dumb to figure out what a tag is, at least), and if you don't share it then one side says you're ashamed of it and need to be overcome your puritanical beliefs, while the other side says you're tricking people into engaging with your SFW online presense and therefore evil.

But some people just like to keep things separate. My dad reads my SFW fic, but I don't want him to find my PWP; not because I'm ashamed of it, but because talking with your parents about your sex life is just not a conversation anyone wants to have.

People are entitled to be private, and to keep different parts of their lives separate, and the fact that someone wants to control what information about them is known to whom doesn't mean they're hiding something out of shame or for evil reasons.

--

[the-indigo-symphony]

currently sort of…struggling? with the fact we might as well be polyfrag, we’ve internalised a lot of anxiety about the concept. your post made a LOT of things click at once and it’s proving to be quite the uneavelling realisation. of course, no need to use the label if it feels upsetting or uncomfortable to, but just…it’s a lot. It’s a lot, we doubt ourselves a lot already even though we know how real we are. Afraid of being laughed at or harassed for it, if that makes sense? Anyone who does can absolutely fuck right off though! We’re not ever going to simply cease to be.

I understand. Despite being such a "staple" of a term, what it's like to live as a polyfrag system is not understood or talked about nearly as much as I would like. Large systems exist! Complicated systems exist! Fragments (or whatever other term people prefer to use for them) exist! I wasn't expecting that post to get so much attention, but I'm glad more people are learning about these things.

I completely agree that fakeclaimers and jerkwads can fuck right off! Sometimes I think it would be easier to not be polyfragmented, especially when it comes to connecting with other systems, but... We've put in a lot of work to like and appreciate who we are. We get lots of headmates and try to welcome them all. We work together when some of us struggle. We use memory aids to battle the memory issues. We can slip into bad habits, can get overwhelmed, can get hurt by the people who try to kick us out of the community... but despite all that, We're still here. All of us – not just our system, but yours too, and all others – matter and make this community a brighter place to be.

We are plural as in there are more of us than they think and we're not going anywhere.

I hope you're able to come to an understanding with the possibility of being polyfragmented, anon. Good luck!!

[iamverynormalaboutsge]

I demand justice for the morally grey baby girl/silly goose.

This is a Rafal appreciation post because God knows we don't have enough of them.

So here is a list of reasons why Rafal is my favourite morally grey baby girl and he should be yours too(or at least your favourite silly goose):

1. Despite his sassiness and almost in-sync physical behaviour, like his brother's (both of them got up at the same time to jump at each other's throat. No warning no nothing literally just sprung to their feet while eating sandwiches and tea how does that work?) Rafal very much loves his dumbass brother. Rafal remembered everything with fondness regarding his brother. Sure it's not very wholesome to scare the ever-living hell out of your twin brother making him cry but the fact that he remembered, even after CENTURIES of being 17/immortal kept by the Storian, that Rhian would call him Fala. (For me the moment was oddly wholesome despite the cruelty implications from Rafal's side. I guess the most intensive moments of life are those where you feel more than just one emotion strongly because one gives sparkle to the other and so on.)

2. Rafal has a high sense of responsibility, higher than Rhian's. Now I don't mean to say he is a good schoolmaster. That is FAR from it. Bro mentally tormented his students and said it was their fault for making them miserable and further propaganda that villains have to live miserably and go through extreme pains to become proper villains. Rhian ain't too far away since all he did from what we saw was a parade in the School for Good and ignored all the students that so politely greeted him like he was their life idol excuse me they showed their respects. I know you were trying to hit on Midas because you always gotta hit on the guy your brother hit first(previous example: Hook) but a nod would have suffice? Instead bro just deliberately ignores them while threatening Midas... ??? At least Rafal knew what he was doing and what he had to do to keep the pact/oath to the Storian. Rhian was just oblivious and arrogant to it.

3. Rafal made a redemption arc. Sure maybe not in the true meaning of it but he tried. He got into the lines of his students and tried to see it from their perspective. He gained their trust and loyalty for who he was. He got to hear everything they thought about him, how horrible he was because he was the pain of a schoolmaster. But he also got to see his students admire him and grow fond of him. Even proving that the wicked and evil can be good in their own twisted way. After all, the heroes of a story are the villains of another. Always.

He inspired others outside of himself while he did his growth and that's beyond great from my perspective.

4. As twisted as he was you can not deny that he was rational. Whenever he made up his mind he went with it even if he had his doubts or moments of hesitation, eventually, he carried on with what he had to do because it was what he needed to do. In the process, he indeed has hurt many but he also self-sacrificed himself. Whatever pain we saw him inflict on his victims we can see that it's a direct reflection of his mirrored pain in them. We can go on about how this is accurate or not, the actual extent of it, interpretations, and symbolism, but to me it's pretty clear once you read a book that engages your mind, heart and soul. He torments himself and torments others because it is the only treatment he knows. The love he gives is suffering and torture. The kindness he shows is an eternal curse. The ever-fleeing moments of bravery are a misery to many. He is a walking omen neither good nor bad, with an internalised balance with the outside world through a mirror.

5. I just love him(as a character/platonic). He had his wrongs maybe more than his rights but in the end, he was determined and hard-working. He did whatever he could, he did what he thought was best even if it wasn't the best. He did whatever was in the power of his hands even when the one meant to have his back stabbed him right in the heart. He stood right by his role and side even if it was the wrong one from the beginning. Even if he was fooled to become the perfect incarnation of what others told him he was. Even if he was torn between who he was once or what he must have been and what he became or what he is in 'truth'. He knew he had a role and he did whatever he could to carry it out you could say it's from selfish desires because he would have died indeed so would have his brother. Bit by bit we show that despite the struggle and betrayal Rafal still tries to learn to love his brother, or better said remind himself that he does.

Bless our silly goose. Love him with all of my heart

(I did not make this, I literally walked into this room and saw this. I was re-reading the first book at that time and saw this. It made me immediately think of SGE/Rafal. I call this fate.)

[greyriversands]

Philosophical difference isn't religious trauma

I wanted to bring this up because there's a post going around that conflates certain things (such as not having a hierarchical theology, not believing the gods send demands to worshippers, not believing in the concept of blasphemy) with both disrespecting the gods and with religious trauma from christianity. In my opinion this is both wrong, and creates an unhealthy and performative religiosity.

Here's the thing that must be acknowledged: we live in (post)modernity. A part of modernity in Europe and the Americas (cause let's face it, that's where the modern Pagan community largely resides) was a philosophical decentring of religion. The Enlightenment questioned many of the old beliefs and dogmas of religion, and birthed ideas of secularism and scientific rationalism as the way to view the world. Marxism heavily emphasised religion as being a tool of control by the upper classes and a way for the lower classes to cope with their alienation. Postmodernism has delegitimised the grand claims and stories of traditional ideologies in the eyes of many, including religions, and made many people skeptical of truth claims.

And religions have not escaped this influence. Some have re-entrenched in tradition to ignore the world or to try to reset time (evangelical christianity for example.) But others have adapted. My childhood catholicism had all but shed concepts of sin and hell in favour of a theology of Jesus as a moral teacher and an emphasis on social justice. We didn't do confession, we did collections for food drives. The reform judaism I hung around questioned the value of a lot of its traditions, and equally had a larger emphasis on social action than on piety.

These are the ideologies prevalent in many of our societies. If we are on the left they're the ideologies that birthed our social and political spheres.

Paganism cannot and will not be immune from this.

People will come into these spaces with these beliefs and with these values. They will incorporate them into how they approach the gods, how they view cosmology, how they implement their values. There will be people who don't regard gods as authorities. Who believe the concept of blasphemy is a shitty mechanism for social control. That the gods don't speak to humans easy and quick much less send demands, and that if they do we don't automatically need to follow them.

Will some of them have religious trauma? Sure. So what? That can give you a good sense for what's healthy and what can be easily exploited for abuse or make you internalise bad ideas. It's not any worse of a bias than having grown up areligious or with a positive view of religion.

But many people won't. Many people just, y'know, looked at the evidence and came to those conclusions. Or agree more with the ideologies listed above than, idk, fucking Plato.

Because here's the thing. We don't know if the gods are real. We don't know if they communicate with us. And piety is a cultural construct, not an innate thing human beings have. Otherwise we wouldn't have so many atheists!

And you can't blame people for thinking that insisting that the only respectful, pious form of religion is one where we submit ourselves to beings we can neither see nor hear (unless you use divination, which hasn't been proven to work, or you use highly epistemologically doubtful methods like identifying instincts or feelings as the gods), and do whatever they say to do (demands which are, again, epistemologically very doubtful), and if you don't agree you must just be traumatised, you poor thing, but certainly not to be taken seriously... that that is maybe kind of toxic and unhealthy.

So whatever positive claim anyone makes about divinity? Cosmology? Ethics? People will dispute it on reasonable grounds. And you can yell about piety and blasphemy, but it won't change the fundamental fact that people aren't going to agree with you. And people will build a praxis around these thoughts and nothing will privilege your vision of the gods and religion over theirs.

Gods forbid people engage in religion in a way that's not performatively talking about how cool and great the gods are and making photo collages for them on tumblr.

And like, of course, you're also allowed to disagree. The gods gave each and every one of us the right and ability to think for ourselves and disagree with whatever someone else says.

But have the guts to admit the other person is a rational being that can form their own thoughts. Not some poor little lamb driven away from the light of their gods by their irrational feelings.

If you don't want 'traditional paganism' (whatever that means) to be compared to christianity, stop pulling from evangelical and tradcath playbooks.

[babymorte]

I have said this before and I'll keep saying this, I am in no position to speak into anything that happens behind closed doors, what we show online is, droplets in a very big bucket of what our lives truly are.

If people want to fuck with you, that's on them, and the fact that you're accustomed to it, grinds every last one of my gears, it makes me want to commit felonies, but I understand where you're coming from with it.

We all have shortcomings my friend, all of us, not one person on here or out there in life is by any means perfect, but the fact that you're still willing to work on yourself is what sets you apart.

As long as you are still willing to fight, as long as you keep going, I will happily be your biggest fan.

im hiding the response under the read more thingy cuz i went on a rant per usual 😂🙏🏻

no that’s very true. tumblr has always been my safe space to get away from my offline problems and stuff but i internalise everything so tumblr kind of became like a journal of sorts. but i still keep things vague and don’t use names and rarely use genders because people are nosy and will create narratives because they’re bored. i did start to actually journal but chunky tore it up and i never got around to buying a new one 😓 and i forget that so many people read my stuff because i try to keep to myself as much as possible (i am trying to be a bit more social though) so people tend to think they know me better than they actually do based on what and how i post. it takes a LOT for me to actually open up to people whether online or off but i find that every time i do it ends up biting me in the ass so i think im done doing that 😂

ahh thank you for sticking up for me but honestly people seem to think im a pushover because of how i present myself and thats not really the case at all. but it is what it is and honestly can’t be helped because i cant control other people’s actions i can only control how i react to them~ how others treat me isn’t a reflection of me but the unhappiness they see in themselves and all i can do is hope they are able to find peace or at least work on their own shortcomings so they don’t feel the need to take it out on others ✨

and yes everyone has shortcomings but we’re only human. it’s not about being perfect because you’re right, no one is but no one is expected to be. it’s just about how can we be the best version of ourselves for ourselves and others. that’s what im striving for in all this self work i’ve been doing. this past year has pushed me to the edge and i know i didn’t handle a lot of it well and i just don’t want to be that person. i don’t enjoy stooping down to another person’s level because i know im better than that. i don’t really think it sets me apart from anyone else or that it puts me on some pedestal though and im really not trying to brag im just kind of rambling im sorry.

thank you sheepy i really appreciate it 🙏🏻 i am willing to fight though because nothing good comes easy and im honestly just tired of settling

[kevin--of-desert-bluffs]

omg so sorry for that ask i did asking about fictionkins i just reread ur post and i completely misunderstood! plz ignore that unless like it helps you bring up something informative to the youths or something! D× so sorry!! was up late post work NVing and 🌟completely🌟 misunderstood

Hello,🌟anon! I'm glad you were able to self-correct a little here, but as you said I think it will be good to talk about what you said. Not just for others but perhaps for yourself. I am always open to talking about this stuff, including in private, without judgement because I know to those outside of the alterhuman community the whole system of personal belief surrounding especially fictionfolk is extremely bizarre. Not only this but people are generally woefully uneducated about delusion in general.

Generally someone who is fictionkin is always keenly aware that one is not currently in ones fictional universe and that one is not able to be perceived except by oneself internally as that fictional character.

First of all - what is a fictionkin/who are fictionkind? How does it work?

To be fictionkin you must identify as, in any way, a fictional character partially or wholly for involuntary reasons (i.e. you didn't choose to start identifying that way it just felt 'right').

Generally, the fictomere (whichever character(s) you are) although it may influence some aspects of your personality to become more present than they usually are, does not take over the current personality the way an alter does, nor does it cause one to completely lose touch with what the current reality is the way a delusion might.

We really need to undo the idea that all delusions are things which need to be 'cured' or 'undone' or 'ignored'. Nobody who is delusional is going to benefit from unwanted and tackless 'reality checking'. Thinking this way often has less to do with actually wanting to help the delusional person and more to do with personal internalised repulsion towards the mentally ill.

I get that, it's really not a belief that everyone can just accept. But I assure you that you are not harming us in any way to validate us as actually our fictomere. You should attempt to try and understand whether the weird is just as wonderful as what you consider ordinary. Some people identify as fictional characters and it's fine!

Second - "But it's impossible to be a fictional character, so how it it different from delusion? Aren't I pushing the delusion and causing you more distress?"

In general, people have no idea what delusion means which often results in assuming that all delusions are harmful and need to be challenged and gotten rid of - this is ignorance and based in ableism.

I get your concern though - you don't want to accidentally make a harmful delusion worse.

It's important to realise that a delusional person is experiencing a personal reality that you cannot see and they cannot see past it at all, they are often completely consumed by the new reality of the delusion. To them everything they are and experience and think during that time is 100% fact. Challenging them on the delusion simply by telling them 'you are not this character' could provoke them into feeling threatened and cause more harm. Instead, the best course of action is to see if they are actually experiencing any distress and try to tackle that distress instead.

Example - A has a delusional disorder and identifies as an IRL. Their delusion makes them believe they are Character. This generally makes them very happy and they are aware it is not based on observable reality. However, when they are not managing their disorder as well or are stressed, they start to experience a full on delusion. Their belief they are Character becomes total and they also experience the feeling of being stalked, spied upon and controlled by Villain Of The Story.

As a friend of A, I can help by assuring them I will help them stay safe, and sympathising with their feelings of distress. I do not need to confirm 'yes Villain is out to get you' to take actions that make them feel safe from Villain.

As a friend of A, it is not going to be good for me to tell them that this is all actually very much happening and yes they should be afraid. That is 'feeding/pushing the delusion' and would cause them to spiral further.

As a friend of A, it is also not good for me to tell them that they aren't actually Character so they're okay. Their reality is fact to them. They are going to view me as a harmful and unsafe and spiral further.

That is how to help a delusional person who is experiencing full psychosis. If they aren't? Leave it be. It's not harmful to just go 'oh cool so you're Character that's neat' because you saying they aren't won't change it anyway but will put you on the 'unsafe' list preventing your ability to actually help if the need arises and you're actually in the position to do so. It's not a strangers responsibility to jump into every delusional persons inbox and start trying to talk them out of their delusion.

In conclusion - having an identity belief that is unusual and not based on observable reality is not necessarily delusion even if it seems strange and illogical. Fictionkind are harmless to themselves and others we just believe something a little strange to most, telling us to 'get therapy' is ableist regardless. We are who we say we are whether or not you believe it so don't be rude, okay? You're not causing us any harm by passively agreeing and not challenging us at every turn.

If someone is delusional 'reality checking' them is not a good way to go if they're actually distressed, if they're not distressed just be neutral and leave it be. It's not bad of you to just pass on by and let them have their delusion-based but not currently/necessarily harmful identity.

Also I hate to say this but therapy isn't...the amazing cure everything benefit everyone super accessible thing it's made out to be by people who 'want others to get help'. Some therapists are actually painfully terrible at their job to the point of causing harm and the better ones may be completely out of most people's price range. 'Getting help' can often be just having a support network of people who know how to help you feel/stay safe. I do want anyone in distress to be able to have that but I cannot stress enough that someone having an identity that is rooted entirely in personal reality is not harmful just because it's illogical to you. Especially if it's not a delusion and even often when it is.

[undefeatablesin]

💕Positivity prime time! Share five things you love about yourself, four things you're excited about, OR three people you care deeply about and why. Pass this along to someone whose posts make you smile💕

Some positivity is exactly what the world needs right now! Thank you for thinking of and passing this message on to me ✨️

I would like to ramble about Four Exciting Things, since having things to look forward to is always helpful as a perspective check for me in particular and hopefully some other people can find something to feel excited about too! ✨️

1) I'm excited to continue refining my art until it reaches a quality I can be unambiguously proud of. We never stop growing as creatives, but we do eventually reach a baseline of accomplishment with our craft. I don't think I am at that baseline yet by a long shot. I have a lot to learn and even though I love the process of learning too, I look forward to the day that I feel accomplished in my work.

How that accomplishment can be defined though is different for everyone. It might be a tangible metric like mastering a certain medium, finding a style, finishing a project or creating a certain piece. Even something as simple as learning to draw a subject that's always stumped them. Sometimes its something more ambiguous, just the feeling or the sense of getting to where you wanted to be. Or in my case, a handful of these things all at once!

2) I'm excited to play new games. Since joining the Soulsborne community, I've been surrounded by incredible experiences, amazing art, beautiful music, thought-provoking discussions and more that has enriched my life beyond what I could ever have imagined. I'm always hungry for more though, and I am constantly looking forward to the next new adventure our community will set out upon even while I repeatedly replay the ones we already have.

That said, I do have my finger to the pulse of a certain imminent DLC right now in particular and I can't tell you how excited I am to finally play it!

3) I'm excited to one day step into the world of video, streaming and other similar creative pursuits. I've been talking about this for ages on my blog by now and have hesitated to commit to any of it, admittedly out of pure uncertainty. The internet is already so populated with skilled and established people that it can feel a little daunting to try and step into that arena as a newcomer.

In general, in a lot of spaces, it's easy to feel like you have nothing new or substantial to offer. But it's the individual themself that brings that newness and substance. Every person has their own cadence, their own style, their own ideas, their own quirks and nuances, their own personality. By and large, those are the things that sell people on your work more than the nature of the work itself in many cases.

It's also important to temper your expectations of yourself. Success often isn't what's important; it's whether you feel fulfilled by what you do. The needle obviously shifts quite a bit towards numbers and engagement and success when your craft is in fact your job, and that is a separate, more complicated conversation. But if your craft is not your business, don't trick yourself into treating it like a business, much less one that lives or dies by the number of likes, shares, views or any other metric it receives.

This is a lesson I've been trying to internalise: the point of creating is simply to create. I'm excited to finally embrace that idea and to fall in love with experimenting for the sheer joy of it again.

4) I'm excited to discover. There's so many things to see, smell, taste, hear and touch. There's millions of new experiences I can't even conceive of that are waiting for us, big or small, thrilling or mundane. Discovering a new song, a new piece of media, a new tool to draw with, a new technique to try, a new food to taste, a new friend to meet, a new idea, a new hobby.

There is always newness even in a world that feels stagnant. I look forward to the things I don't even know I am looking forward to yet. I think there is something very comforting in knowing that, inevitably, something new will come along to enrich our lives even in the smallest of ways, and it can happen today, tomorrow, next week or next year. The unknown can be full of frightening things, but it is equally filled with exciting ones. Even when I feel my worst, I try to remind myself to be excited for the little mysteries.