#and I like how goblin sharks are Like That

[deoidesign]

What’s your favorite animal?

goblin shark

[bacchuschucklefuck]

species medley ft. gorgug and riz

[zehecatl]

once again thinking about HOW COOL the vampires in TMA are, like

the way they're extremely unique!! while still retaining vampiric qualities!! the SHARK theming!!! what is there not to love!!!

[woso-dreamzzz]

Sharks IV

Meadema x Child!Reader

Summary: You go to Netherlands Camp

"Okay," Mummy says," You be good, okay?"

She adjusts your shark backpack on your back, closing her eyes briefly when she hands you your Goblin and Cookie Cutter. She smiles at you, running a hand over your cheek.

"Are you sure you want to go with Mama? You won't see Peanut if you go with Mama."

You think for a moment. Lucy and Keira's Peanut is your friend and you rarely see her because she lives in Spain with her mummies now. You haven't seen her at camp either because Mummy's had her big knee ouchy and hasn't gone.

But Mama said that you were welcome to come with her to the Netherlands camp so that's what you're doing.

"Can see Peanut later," You tell Mummy and she brushes your hair out of your face and kneels down to lace up your shoes.

"Okay," She says," Do everything Mama tells you. Be nice. Use your manners. We'll have a chat every night before you go to bed. Sound good?"

You nod.

"Hey...I love you."

"Love you too, Mummy!" You give her a nice tight hug before you join Mama at the taxi.

The flight from London to the Netherlands is fairly short and you have to get into another taxi to take you to the training grounds.

You stay in Mama's arms the entire way to your new room but still manage to wave at the social media people when they film you and Mama's arrival.

Netherlands Camp isn't too different to England Camp except Peanut isn't here. That's nice though. Sometimes Peanut is a bit too loud and excitable for you even though she's your bestest friend.

You sit with Mama in her room and play with your sharks. You weren't allowed to bring all of them with you (which is sad because you think a few of them will be lonely all at home by themselves) but you got your most favourite.

Goblin and Cookie Cutter sit up by your pillows as you take your little plastic figures on a trip around Mama's bed.

"It's a...a..." You think for a moment. "An ecosystem!"

"That's a big word," Mama says.

"It's a group of animals working together so they can all live in the same place," You explain as you make your clownfish hide in the sheets to escape one of your sharks.

"You're very smart," Mama replies and your face goes a little red at the praise.

It stays that way until there's a knock at the door. Mama gets up to open it and you distract yourself by making your swordfish eat your squid.

"Well," A familiar voice says," It's nice to see somethings never change."

You whip your head around and drop your toys. "Daan!" You run into her outstretched arms. "I missed you!"

"I missed you too!" Daan says, swinging you up and spinning around.

You giggle hysterically. "Mama! Look! It's Daan!"

Mama's got a bit of a weird look on her face but she puts on a smile for you and nods. "I can see that."

"Daan! Daan! Look! My sharks!" You pull Daan over to the bed to show her all the new toys you've got since she's been away.

Viv watches as you do so, suddenly struck dumb at the familiarity you greet Daan. She knows (of course she does) that Beth and Daan used to date. She knows that you had some form of a relationship with Daan.

She just never really expected to see it.

You knew your way around Daan, sitting on her lap and explaining happily what was happening in your little ecosystem. You lean into her body and let her scratch at your scalp as you introduce her to your Goblin and Cookie Cutter.

"Mama got them for me!" You say to Daan and it jolts Viv out of her thoughts, a small smile appearing on her face as you turn to look back at her.

"Really?" Daan asks," That's so cool! I'm glad that you still like sharks." She pokes at your belly. "I remember the first shark I got you."

The smile drops from Viv's face. In all honesty, she hadn't ever thought about how you got interested in sharks in the first place. She hadn't ever wondered who got you your first shark toy.

But, somehow, it being Daan left a bad taste in her mouth.

Viv knows that she shouldn't feel that way but she can't help it, like how she can't help but feel a little anger bubble in her gut at the way you so easily fall back into Daan like she had never left.

The feeling persists throughout the day as you stick to Daan like glue, peering up at her with big eyes and a wide smile. You go everywhere with her and insist on eating with her at dinner.

When Viv gets you back, she can't help but hold your hand tight. She has you wave goodbye to Daan and, after your bedtime call with Beth, she sits on your bed with you.

"I missed Daan," You say as her fingers stroke through your hair.

The feeling is back in Viv's stomach as you continue to talk about Daan, about what you missed about her, about how she used to play sharks with you in the bath, about how she used to tuck you into bed and give you kisses on your cheek, forehead and nose before you went to sleep.

"You must have missed her a lot, huh?" Viv asks even though the question tastes sour in her mouth.

Her words make you furrow your brow, like you're stumped about what she said. After a few seconds, you speak," Only when I saw her. Don't really miss her when I can't see her." Your frown gets a bit deeper. "'Cause I've got you and Mummy and my sharks. I don't need Daan because I'm not so little anymore."

Viv smothers her vindictive smile as she kisses both of your cheeks and tucks your blankets up all the way to your chin. You move your toys towards her and Viv kisses your Cookie Cutter and then your Goblin.

When you wake up the next day and Mama finishes her Netherlands training, she takes you to the pool with Vic. It's empty apart from the three of you and Mama helps you change into your swimming costume.

"It's like a shark!" You say excitedly as Mama takes a pool float out of her bag. "It's a dorsal fin!" You turn to explain to Vic. "That's the big fin that sticks up like in movies."

You clap as Mama slips your arms through the straps and tightens them.

"I've got a fin!" You tell Vic, in case she hasn't realised as she slips into the pool.

"That's so cool," Vic says as Mama lowers you into her arms before getting in herself.

"Dorsal fins help the sharks not to roll over when they're swimming," You say because Mummy read that in your bedtime book with you before you left for Netherlands Camp," And they help sharks swim straight!"

"Well," Mama says," Let's hope that it does the same for you. Do you remember what we talked about?"

You think for a moment. "Hands like ice cream scoops! And...And kick my legs hard...and! And turn my head to breath!"

"Very good!" Mama praises," Now I'm going to swim behind you and Vic's going to be up front, okay?"

You nod. "Okay!"

You take a big deep breath and start paddling. You like swimming. Mummy takes you to the pool lots but only when you wear your armbands. Mama says that you're a bit too old for little kiddy armbands now so she was going to teach you the proper way.

You were happy to throw away your dolphin armbands because you don't really like dolphins anyway. You think they're a lot meaner than sharks so you had a little dance party with Mummy and Mama when they got thrown into the pin.

Your armbands being thrown away meant that you got your new shark fin floaty.

"Woo!" Vic cheers as you swim the long length with only a little stopping," Look at you!"

"Mama!" You turn in Vic's arms to look at Mama," Did you see? Did you see? I swam without my armbands!"

"You did!" Mama takes you from Vic. "You did so good! You'll have to keep practising though."

"I will!" You promise, giggling a little when Mama presses ticklish kisses to your cheeks. You turn to look at Vic as she paddles around you. "Mama and Mummy say that if I eat my vegetables and learn to swim really good then one day, when I'm older, I can swim with sharks!"

"That's a long way away," Mama reminds you," Now, how about we do a few more laps and then we can tell Mummy all about it on your bedtime call later?"

You beam. "Okay!"

[dailyadventureprompts]

Hello Dapper. I don’t really expect too much about this, but do you have any ideas for Wargs? They have an interesting relationship with goblins and are weird in that they’re essentially sapient wolf monsters, but I don’t think they’re ever really used that creatively.

Monsters Reimagined: Wargs, wolf panics, and the Economics of Lupophobia

While the surface level answer is pretty simple (warg is a conversion of varger, an old Norse way to refer to mythological wolves like Fenrir) there's actually a surprising amount of material to drill into here on the topic of sapient wolf monsters, especially for someone like me who has a interest in moral panics and mass hysteria events. Wolves were effectively a boogyman for pre-industrial societies, a deep seated generational fear that we only recognize today through cultural relics like the big bad wolf or boy who cried wolf.

TLDR: If you want to do something interesting with wargs beyond just "wolves that talk" I'd advise playing to their folk / fairytale roots. They're creatures of embodied dread, drawn from the stuff of the feywild to sow fear among those who would travel off the path or too close to the wilderness. This lets you tell interesting stories about how the party/major characters respond to fear: Does fear of being attacked in the dark drive the party to make risky decisions that might endanger their quest? How do the villagers react when the wolves are very literally at the door, demanding just one of their neighbours as a meal in exchange for safety?

I'd also advise getting weirder with a warg's powers, playing into that fear of the unknown by doing unexpected things. The party can fight off a pack of wolves, sure, but what does it mean when the lead wolf rips off the bard's shadow and takes off into the night?

Background: If you want a window into the headspace of wolf-panic, think about the neigh omnipresent fear of sharks created by the Jaws franchise. Children who have never seen the movie, let alone seen a shark in person can become irrationally afraid of getting into deep water because they've absorbed the pervasive cultural phobia, which goes onto shape environmental policy as sharks are overhunted or killed out of spite for their perceived threat.

So it was for wolves, even after they were largely hunted to near extinction by medieval and postmedieval societies, the fear of them was so ingrained into cultural traditions that wolf and werewolf panics were a thing that went hand in hand with witchtrails. France had a country wide one as late as the 1760s and the movie based on it ended up inspiring Bloodborne. Alternatively look at the anti-wolf efforts during the colonization of the Americas, right up to the opposition to reintroducing wolves back to Yellowstone park.

On that note (and because we can't have a Monsters Reimagined without some kind of class analysis), lets talk about how these fears are propagated: On many levels it makes sense for everyday people to be afraid of wolves, they're a hunting species that can absolutely pose a danger to us, and when you're living or travelling outside the protection of a settlement you really are vulnerable to a coordinated pack of carnivores running you down.

However, the primary threat that wolves pose to humans isn't predation, it's property damage, specifically in how they kill livestock. While we can talk about individual farmsteads beset by beasts, in reality the herds that wolves were most likely to prey upon belonged to the landowning classes, powerful people who had a profit incentive in seeing wolves driven off or exterminated. This is where you get bounties on dead wolves, not just paying for the value of the hide but actively rewarding people for going out and killing as many wolves as possible to the point of it becoming a profession. This practice has existed for MILLENIA and is still active today, primarily in places where big agriculture influences governments.

It seems incidental at first but then you realize that it fits the model of just about every other kind of cultural panic: widespread ignorance and fear that just so happens to mobilize the populace in a way that financially benefits a select few. You can see the same thing happening today in england with badgers of all things, which have been identified with the local dairy industry as a threat to their herds. This is not only led them to petition the government to cull the badger population, but to put out anti-badger propaganda, eventually turning it into a culture war issure to the point where conservative mouthpieces like Jeremy Clarkson openly encourages killing and gassing badgers on sight.

Returning to the land of fantasy for now: I think it's worth taking the idea of the warg and mixing it with a few other "black dog" cultural archetypes, which can also include the creatures like the shuck or church grimm. In this instance the warg is a sort of curse made manifest, the fear of a haunted place given literal teeth. People who transgress into these forbidden spaces find themselves pursued by a manifestation that dogs them till they're exhausted and vulnerable, much like a wolf harrying its prey.

The bhargest is also of special interest here, considering how I like to relate goblins back to the feywild. You could easily see bhargests as agents of fey that feed on human fear, leading a pack of goblins or hobs that occupy the desolate lands they've called to haunt. My version of Maglubiyet would also delight in employing such creatures as his emissaries.

Going back to the vargr/ Norse mythology angle, it's interesting that most of the wolves that show up are destined to devour something, whether it be a god or celestial certanty like the moon and sun. It's like the concept of an inevitable chase is so fundimental to what a wolf IS that it became a theme of ragnarok's inevitable certantly. Consider having certan packs of wargs be offspring of some fenrir style god eater, beasts of forboding doom who's mere presence is an omen of ill times.

Alternatively, if you wanted to play on the big bad wolf angle, give wargs the ability to take on flimsy human disguises, all the better to get close to their pray and sow fear among the townsfolk. Historical wolf panics after all are not all that different than serial killer panics, and it'd be a fun twist on a traditional werewolf adventure to have the party on a creature that didn't play by the usual lycanthropic rules.

Artsource

[just-some-user-hunny]

The Cannibal dragon headcanons ...

(art credit for middle image, ig: dracalyss)

. Cannibal is a huge dragon, the largest of all wild-dragons, but I can't see him being any larger than Vhagar- let alone Balerian the black dread. I imagine he'd be a tad bit smaller than Vhagar- just about. His build is bulky and scarred, a thick neck of scarred obsidian scales, a set of jagged jet-black spikes that run along his spine, and covered in thick taut muscle and hardened flesh. His eyes are a blazing emerald green, teeth sharp and jagged like a shark.

. I also love the idea of him having this 'grinning' look on his face, like a crocodile or the indoraptor from Jurassic world. (His personality screams indoraptor to me, just a mean guy with a nasty lil goblin grin). And with his torn jaw and exposed teeth, it makes him look even creepier and menacing. There's something way too...human about it. Expressive in both his grin and mannerisms.

He's definitely a stare-er too. Something about a monstrously big dragon being unnervingly quiet and observing is uncomfortable, which is exactly the vibes he gives off.

. I like to visualize him as a very 'wild' looking dragon, like how'd you imagine a stray feral cat. His scales are rough and weather-worn, covered in large claw-like scars from fighting and hunting other dragons throughout his life. There's also fanart of him missing a huge chunk of flesh around his jaw and mouth, baring his teeth, which I think looks really cool :) as a young dragon he probably picked off the small and easy dragons, ones that wouldn't put up much of a fight. But as he grew in age and size, he would probably grow cocky and try his luck with larger prey. Due to him being an absolute monster, I'd imagine he'd often come up on top- but not without earning a few disfiguring scars in return.

. Despite never being bonded to a rider before, nor being ridden before in his life (he'd scoff at the mere thought of some little measly human thinking that they could climb upon his back and treat him like a pony), once he bonded with you it was like an instant connection. He is still a little edgy and unpredictable, but there is one thing for certain and that is he is always as gentle as possible with you. He'll press his body into the dirt if it allows you to climb on and off safely, craning his claws and jaw for you to step upon.

. He wouldn't wear a saddle, so you'd have to learn to ride him bareback. Thankfully he has many jagged scales and spikes to cling onto, but to be on the safe side, you'd have special riding gear to wear to help cling on. Rougher gloves and boots and trousers, it certainly helps, even if it's just a little. If anything the fact you ride bareback is a testament of your bond, showing how close and in sync you both are.

. The biggest issue with him would be his... diet, and how he'd have to adapt once he begins to hang around dragonstone more often. I'd imagine he wouldn't eat much, adding to the unpredictability of him and when he would hunt, but as his rider you'd have to supply him at least livestock every week to keep him happy and saturated. Cows, horses, large livestock due to his sheer size.

. He flies quite similar to Vhagar. His form is heavy, and although strong, he is lumbering.

Although at his age now he'd be a rather ancient dragon, he wouldn't really show his age besides a few moments where he just wants to curl up in his little cave upon his ✨private island ✨ to take a nap. In his youth he was most likely a very quick dragon, like a stalking panther striking upon his food. (Being younger dragons and hatchlings). I've seen someone write about him being a silent hunter (I'll reblog and credit once I find them), but that's such a neat idea for his character! He's survived from hunting his own kind, so he's going to hunt differently. Smarter.

. His fire in the books is described as green, and that's just too cool to swap it out with normal fire. Blazing emerald flames that engulf earth and prey, unnatural and mystical. It'd be very distinctive as well, whoever finds their fields or flocks of trees burning and crackling in a blaze of green fire, they'd know that the cannibal had just been there.

. Personality wise, I feel like he'd be cruel and sadistic, but wise and grumpy. Probably cocky as well, for having survived on his for so long and through unconventional means.

He's not a hardheaded bully, he's very tactical when it comes to facing challenges, but at this point he's such a huge threat he may be blinded by his own ego and emotions. If something were to happen to his rider, he'd make sure you'd get avenged. He's ride or die, quite literally. He'll burn everything down for you, because he feels strongly for the one human he feels he can trust. His grief is not silent or tearful, it's angry.

[infernalwitxhcraft]

All About: House Spirits

Well, it's about time I brought them up once again, in their own post. This guide may be on the lengthy side, but it's here to explain what they are and how to begin working with them.

What the hell is a house spirit?

House spirits come from all different cultures and folklore. Known as, you guessed it, guardians of the home. They protect the house itself, the land around it (they get along with the land spirit(s) most of the time), and they also protect the family if treated right. A home certainly doesn't feel like one without these presiding spirits helping. In fact it gives the home a life of it's own.

What do they look like? Are there types?

Across many cultures, there are these spirits and the folklore varies for each. In my tribe, we consider them to usually be little dwarves or goblins that must be appeased, otherwise they will cause bad luck or even resort to curses. Regular offerings are required. Then there are the land spirits, which is a whole other topic. If given regular offerings and respect, we believe that they will not only generate good luck and events for us, but protect us and help with our daily lives. For the witches of the tribe, they will often assist in rituals and spells. That all being said, this has carried over into my personal beliefs. Many cultures describe house spirits assisting with the same things and if they are displeased, bad occurrences following. As far as looks go, it depends on the folklore surrounding your area and your cultural background(s). You may believe in one or two types or an entire spectrum of house spirits from the realm of the fair folk. You could have one house spirit or twelve. It's entirely up to your home. In some cultures, there are door spirits (yes, that guard the doors) and ones that work in the kitchen, among others for different functions of the home.

Okay so, I live in an apartment building. Can I still work with them?

Yes. When I used to live in apartments, I found it was an either/or situation regarding how many were there. Some buildings have only a few that roam around, sometimes only one that protects the entire building, or there may be multiple hanging out in one apartment. Most complexes have multiple however. And then for the lucky buildings that have one for each apartment...those are nice. I've included a short offering ritual at the end of this post, which you can use to ask questions about whatever you wish to know, including how many there are in the building.

What kind of offerings do they like?

Milk, honey, bread, and herbs are a safe bet. They especially like bread baked by you, as they see it as a labor of love and that your energy is in there. Taking time to tend to the garden and taking care of your property & home in general are things they like to see. Don't leave the house a huge mess, as many prefer a tidy atmosphere. Not an offering per say, but important to mention nonetheless.

What should I put on their altar?

I keep my altar for them in the kitchen, as it is in a place that is undisturbed and can't be torn up by my land shark (aka, my dog). I also feel that most of the house spirits I have worked with in my life enjoy hanging out in this area of the home. They seem to like assisting in kitchen magic and cooking in general and the warmth of the stove. You may also want to include a small area near the front door if you believe that there are separate spirits for there. I'd recommend a shelf, as it won't take up as much space in the entryway.

Okay, back on track. Plants (if the space gets enough light), a cauldron, candles, offering bowls, a chalice, glass, or mug of some sort. A special spoon to stir the drinks or potions with. Decorative pieces from nature. Things you craft by hand.

How can I begin working with them?

Anytime, in reality. However, you do have to develop an actual relationship with them. This can take time and the more you speak to them, give offerings, and invite them in as you cook or clean, the more they will be willing to help with your spellwork, wards, and healing. Try the introduction ritual I've included. See what happens. Document it. Try again another time the following week. And just...keep going. Make sure that they know you haven't forgotten about them by leaving a small nightly glass of milk out before you head to bed. It doesn't have to be filled to the rim (hey, cost of living is ridiculous right now). It can be a splash with a squirt of honey added. Or a sprinkle of herbs on their bowl. Or maybe a small helping of what you whipped up for dinner. Point is to show them that you acknowledge and respect their presence. That will be the biggest component. Do the ritual once a week until you start seeing signs of contact. Once you do, make your own ritual with them. Incorporate them into your daily life. Ask them to help with blessing your cooking. Ask them to make sure your wards are in tact. Ask the door spirit to purify the energy of anyone that walks in & make bad people resist coming by. Start seeing if they'd like to sit in on a ritual, if you feel comfortable with that idea. Ask for a blessing when you clean the house & to assist you in removing all the bad energy.

Brief introductory ritual

To introduce yourself to your house spirits, I recommend sitting in your kitchen. If you consider your hearth to be the living room, you can choose to do it there. Make sure to bring offerings with that you feel will be applicable. Freshly baked bread (from your own hands) and some milk with honey stirred in would make a wonderful first treat. I usually introduce myself in a new home by bringing these treats to the location of choice, and start by speaking my intention aloud which goes something like:

"Spirits of the home,

Guardians and Protectors of this dwelling,

Please come sit with me and enjoy these offerings.

I wish to have a working relationship where we can honor, respect, and help each other."

I usually spend about ten-twenty minutes meditating after this is spoken aloud. Sometimes you will feel a strong presence. This is the time I take to set up my kitchen altar as well. If there is a place that I am able to create a mini-altar by the front door, I do so there for the door spirits. The land spirits get their own little thing out in the backyard. I've found in the many places I've lived, they almost always work together and some house spirits spend quite some time out there too!

From here on out, you'll develop your relationship with regular offerings and take it from there!

[mossygrovel]

Sighs. Ulysses having a "talk" with Fable.

"Do you see how every parent is with their child here? Do you see it? See the pattern?"

"They're no different than me."

"Bullshit. They are gentle with their children. They are kind and forgiving."

"Do you see how Kai is gentle with her son? How Wanda is gentle with her family? How much kindness they show?"

"As am I."

"No you're not. Look at how Icarus is with you! I don't think there's been a moment where he hasn't been disassociated in the time that you have been here."

"..."

"You have never been kind or caring to them. You've used them, hurt them. You're a bad person. And an even sadder, sorryier excuse of a father."

"What about-"

"I swear to the gods that remain if you say Rae and Enderian, I will shove my trident where the sun doesn't shine."

".."

"You're wife is in a tube, you've murdered 2 of your siblings, your child is self destructing and-"

"My children you mean."

"I meant what I said, you goblin shark. When you look at Rae Morningstar, what part of him makes you think he has EVER wanted to be your son? What part of him has EVER looked like you?"

"His wits."

"He got those from his mothers. And as a matter of fact, what happened when he called you dad? The one and only time he's ever done it? What happened to him, Fable?"

"..."

"You slapped him across the face. And had the audacity to wonder why he ran away everyday. Why he had so much fear around you and Icarus. You and your child, are cowards. Now, stay away from my kid and his family."

ULYSSES DESERVES TO BE UPSET

[mwolf0epsilon]

How is it the clone beans eat?

With their little mouths of course! (which are not visible in the sculpts because I didn't want to overly deform the faces, I intend to one day 3D print them after all)

Granted the Trooper Beans being a manifestation of the clones's personality and emotions don't really NEED to eat... But it's a very enjoyable activity that they take pleasure in partaking in! Especially if they have access to their particular trooper's favourite snacks.

There is the occasional mishap, however...

Not every good little Trooper Bean resorts to nibbling like a polite little hamster. Some like Dogma Bean, for example, serve as emotional outlets for their troopers... So they tend to have very little self-control and over-indulge in things they enjoy doing with no real regard for the consequences of, say, swallowing an entire cheese bun?

Thankfully Trooper Beans that are tied to medics have enough sense to take the welfare of their fellow Beans just as seriously as the medical officers they manifested from.

Swallowing stuff whole isn't the only questionable method of eating, however. There are some Beans that prefer a more unconventional approach...

If I were any of you, I wouldn't dare stick my fingers anywhere close Cody Bean. He's especially fond of the Goblin Shark method...

[eddieintheocean]

top 10 spooky and scary fish

happy fishy-ween everyone! these are 10 of the spookiest fish (in my opinion) although i love all fish equally so please dont take this too seriously!

10. Angler fish

A classic. Probably the first thing most people think of when you mention spooky fish. Wonderfully girlboss.

9. Gluper eel/pelican eel

look at this guy! he's so happy and smiley :))) It's lower jaw is roughly a quater of it's body length!

8. Barreleye fish

This guy is truly no thoughts head empty, my idol. Scientists speculate that it's fins are well adapted for avoiding the stinging tentacles of siphonophores.

7. the harp sponge

you might say, "eddie, why the fuck is a sponge on this list! its a sponge how the hell is it spooky?" WELL this guy is carnivorous! Sponges usually eat bacteria and other floaty things but this guy eats crustaceans of all things. Imagine you're a tiny crab and you get eaten by this!! i'd be terrified!

6. Goblin shark

this guy is also a classic spooky fish in my opinion. Love this guy! Its long nose has electrical receptors which detect the electric currents of its prey

5. Snail fish

i've included this one entirely out of pity. look at him and pretend to shake in terror so you dont upset him.

4. crown of thorns starfish

Crown of thorns starfish eat coral and phtoplankton. phytoplankton aren't common in coral reefs usually, however their numbers increase due to increasing pollutants and fertiliser run off. These starfish can cause devastation on coral reefs and this is only increasing. i'd say ecosystem destruction is pretty damn scary.

3. candiru

candiru or vampire fish are the fleas and mosquitos of the fish world. They bury themselves in the fishs' gills and use little barbs to stay in.

while i was researching this fish i found a singular story of this guy swimming up a man's ureathra in 1997 however this was subject to controversy.

2. cone snail

those who have watched the octonauts will be familiar with this guy. The cone snail is a predatory snail that use a harpoon-like projectile to subdue their prey. Should also point out that this is venomous as well. The octonauts episode that introduced this guy made baby eddie genuinely terrified. Also, some of the larger species of cone snail eat fish, and their venom can be fatal to humans.

1. Magnapinna squid

i saved this guy for first spot because i love him so much <3 i think he deserves top spot on this list. So far we have only discovered juvinille samples and there have been fewer than 15 sightings. We know basically nothing about them including what their funky tentacles are for (although it is suspected they are related to feeding)

Thank you for reading this far! hope you enjoyed learning about horrors beyond your comprehension, enjoy your spooky day

[toastedjeans]

Siren Tower AU!

I wanna keep this more on the silly side, but here's the basic gist of it.

There's a huge tower submerged in the ocean where many sirens and other sea creatures have found a home, and somehow humans have discovered it. They want to study and explore this tower, and the sirens are NOT happy about it, not wanting their home to be potentially destroyed. Pretty reasonable. But now, this random middle aged pizza baker somehow gets roped into this whole mess.

And here's the characters! (I tried to keep their heights accurate but idk if i succeeded)

And down there is some more info about everyone!

HUMANS (and Brick)

Peppino

He still has his pizzeria, but it's located a little closer to town. While business is slightly better than in game, he still has debts. But hey, he has his own apartment!! No more sleeping in the back of the pizzeria or on the floor!!

Peppino will sometimes just come to the shore or the port in the evening or at night to clear his head or be alone with his thoughts. Depressed guy. Will sometimes talk to himself when he thinks he's alone. He isn't necessarily afraid of the ocean, but because he can't swim, once he's in water the fear kicks in and he starts panicking.

He doesn't believe in sirens, mermaids, or other such creatures. Thinks they're just made up to tell scary stories of the sea. Jokes on him, he's about to meet the jolliest shark gnome man he's ever seen.

Brick

A gigantic rat that lives with Peppino, who didn't get a say in this. Just appeared one day, and no matter how many times Peppino tries to get rid of him, Brick always comes back. After a while Pep reluctantly accepts him and sometimes even takes him for a walk.

Brick actually loves to swim, but doesn't stay in the water for too long cause Pep won't join him. Like, he'll just leave if Brick stays too long. Kinda rude if you ask me.

Mr. Stick

Tax and debt collector, and a friend of Peppino. He often comes over for a pizza, then proceeds not to eat much, and rarely pays (he either says he's deducting it from Pep's debts or he lets someone else pay). He's kind of a piece of shit but outside of the whole money business he can be pretty nice.

He strikes me as a gambler tbh, either he's extremely lucky or extremely unlucky. Likes playing poker, and invites Peppino and Hazel to play after work from time to time.

Doesn't believe in sirens, but if he ever saw one he'd try to exploit it for money. He wouldn't kill it or anything though, mainly because he's too weak and he doesn't know how to handle guns.

Noisette / Hazel

She runs a little cafe near Peppino's pizzeria, and is good friends with him, but can sometimes be a little annoying. They hang out after work from time to time. When she notices that Peppino is having a rough day, she'll sometimes bring over a free cup of coffee or a slice of cake for him. Sometimes experiments with... interesting... food combinations, which are strangely popular.

She has loved mermaids and sirens since she was young and is very fond of them. Once she discovers they're real, she becomes even more fascinated and obsessed with them. You better believe she wanted to be a mermaid when she was young.

SIRENS

Gustavo

A little round shark man who is perfect in every way. He's curious and adventurous, and even though sirens and humans are enemies since, uh. A long time. He doesn't believe that humans are inherently evil. He'll help out whenever and however he can, but can get very aggressive when his friends or brethren are threatened. You will regret it if you anger him.

Noise annoys him often but they don't harm each other. He isn't really friends with Noise, but he will defend him if he's threatened or attacked.

One day he saves Peppino from drowning, which makes other sirens sceptical of him, especially those who think humans are evil. He will later try to learn human language to be able to communicate with Peppino better.

Noise

Goblin shark. He can theoretically go on land for a bit, but needs some water nearby. He's a little sceptical about humans, but not outright hostile. He likes annoying pretty much everyone, especially Peppino once they meet (he thinks his reactions are funny).

He throws sea urchins and pufferfish at others like bombs, as he (like most sirens) is immune to their poison / venom. While he's usually an unhinged gremlin, he just about melts when with Hazel. But of course he tries to hide this from others.

Fake Peppino

Created by Pizzahead from DNA of frogs, newts, and Peppino (obviously). He was meant to be a weapon for sirens against humans, and thus is supposed to be hostile. Unfortunately, he turned out to be extremely affectionate, and he loves hugs. Much like Gustavo, when friends are attacked, he can get downright deadly. He can also regenerate body parts like an axolotl, unless his brain has been damaged. Like, you can rip both his arms off and they'll grow back within a day.

He becomes close friends with Gustavo, and is kind of fascinated by Peppino (other humans too, but mostly Peppino). He would play in the water with Brick once they meet, and become friends with Hazel. Can go on land as well, but prefers the water. He communicates with croaks, gurgles and other noises, and can speak very limited human language (very few fractions of words or sentences, it just sounds like gibberish), taught to him by Pizzahead.

Pepperman

Lumpfish (idk either just roll with it). He's kind of indifferent to humans, but he does think he's better than them. I could see him making a brush or something out of seaweed to draw. And then always getting upset that his drawings never stay cause of the water, but he keeps drawing anyway. Blames Noise for destroying his art even if he knows it's the water (Noise thinks it's funny). "Borrows" seaweed from Vigi's farm to make new brushes. But he'll also make statues out of various rocks and other things he finds laying around. Mostly of himself. Some humans think they're built from ancient civilizations, while others think it's some sort of elaborate hoax. Nobody recognizes Pepperman's talent :(

Vigilante

Sea slug. He genuinely believes humans want to kill sirens for nefarious reasons, possibly cause he's a little older i guess. Hands just appear when he needs them.

He has an underwater equivalent of a farm (like, he grows and tends to seaweeds, anemones, corals, etc), that he inherited from his grandpa. He'd love to just tend to the farm all day, but feels obligated to punish anyone who does wrong. Unofficial officer / sheriff of the sea. He still has his cowboy hat because i said so let me be silly on main.

Pizzahead

Ribbon eel. He can give others a little shock as if he had like a hand shocker thing. It mostly just hurts a bit and isn't lethal cause cartoon logic. He does not like humans, but mostly because he grew up with everyone around him telling him they're evil. Actually he's very curious and fascinated by humans, which is why he decided to clone Peppino. Mostly cause he sees him the most on the shore. Somehow. How he actually got his DNA is a mystery.

Later on he decides / attempts to make Fakey into a weapon after witnessing how strong Peppino is. He obsessively learns human language and tries to understand as much about human culture as he can. But he'll twist things around and tell others that he does it to "better understand their weaknesses". Right.

Pizzaface

Stingray. The leader of sirens in the elusive Siren Tower. He HATES humans, especially after some divers discovered the tower and continuously come there to explore. Basically just doesn't want his and his fellow sirens' home discovered or threatened. He's disappointed in Pizzahead because he taught himself human language, even after given an explanation (or excuse).

SPECULATION CORNER

Aka characters i can't quite figure out what to do with yet

Burton

A whale shark bc I can't get enough of sharks apparently. Sharks are cool okay

Alternative: just Mr. Stick's husband who sometimes comes with him to Peppino's

Gerome

A sentient rock and John's older brother, who always took care of him and helped him with the tower. Now just does maintenance and keeps John company.

Alternative: Peppino's janitor, but still made of rock because that's silly

John

A sentient rock that used to carry the tower around through the oceans but somehow got cursed and is now part of the foundation and can't move anymore. Was he a siren before? Or just a pillar? Or maybe a fish made of stone? We don't know.

[shoggothslime]

What kinds of merpeople the Termina Contestants would be

(already shared these thoughts on twitter, might as well share them here too)

Pav's a lionfish because they're invasive, they move their spines in a way that's similar to peacocking, and they have venomous stings.

Marcoh's a mantis shrimp because they punch the shit out of their prey. Simple answer.

Daan's a moon jellyfish because of Blank Soul, how they're the most common jellyfish for others to pluck out of the wild for a pet (but often kill them due to them needing specific tanks), and... moon and all... :3

He'd also be really cute as a jellyfish. I'm biased.

Abella's a giant pacific octopus because they're incredibly smart and strong. Also the red reminds me of her hair and it'd be fun to imagine her using all her octopus arms to tinker with stuff.

Olivia's a leafy seadragon because of how they blend themselves into the plant life they make their homes. Mermaid Olivia wouldn't be able to swim strongly but I like to think of her grabbing onto plants to help move herself around in kelp forests. :D

Levi's a spotted garden eel because they live in these little sand holes (trenches :3c) and are rather shy. They can however get used to certain presences such as people in aquariums. I recommend looking at the Sumida Aquarium story.

O'saa is a yellow boxfish because yes yes yellow mage, but these fish also can release deadly neurotoxins into the water which is basically hurting if you think about it.

Samarie is a gulper/pelican eel because I was obligated to make her a deep sea fish and it reminds me of Dysmorphia. Also she'd be a cute eel mermaid.

Tanaka is an oarfish due to them being known for being found dead or dying in shallower waters before earthquakes or tsunamis. Literally the opening kill as a fish. So sorry Tanaka lol.

August is an Orca because of their hunting tactics being so brutal and said hunting tactics being passed from parents to children in a pod, making different pods having different tactics and cultures. Like how Rag's influence can be seen in August.

Karin is an orange-lined triggerfish because of how territorial and aggressive they are despite their appearance. They often catch new salt water tank owners off guard by how willing they are to throw down.

Caligura is a goblin shark because it's a deep sea fish that feasts upon bottomfeeders. I also refused to let Caligura be a fish that even I could find cute. :3

Marina is a clownfish because the anemones are kind of like a warding sigil and she's a silly billy among the horrors at times. :3 They are also one of the tropical fish to be able to change from male to female. They are also my favorite childhood fish. Someone had to be one.

And finally, Henryk is a blue angel because despite how they look, they will poison the shit out of you and it will be painful and suck so much. Not worth touching.

[maddness-time-bby]

Have you ever heard a truly stupid take? Because that was me when I heard someone defend Mimzy's design saying that she was "just a fat woman with a east coast accent" because the person saying this had a similar accent to Mimzy and there was just "no way she was an antisemitic character type and the people saying that are the REAL antisemites because they see it that way" like I'm sorry but what.

Are you seriously that far up Vivzie's ass. That's like saying the goblins from Harry Potter aren't ugly caricatures of jewish people like yeah they're not explicitly jewish but to ignore how historically jewish people were depicted and to look at the goblins.. yeah it's easy to see the connections.

Most people in this day and age aren't just going to say "Yeah I made a short fat materialistic woman with a hooked nose constaintly getting into trouble with loan sharks because I hate jewish people and/or I have internalized antisemitic views that I need to look deeper on and reevaluate". Be real.

[crowcrash]

saw a post on twitter talking about seawing teeth and how they probably have super fucked up jaws like goblin sharks and i had to draw it

[fictionalmenxyn]

Incorrect Quotes

—

Y/n: Hey can I tell you a joke?

Ghost: go on..

Y/n: what’s a dj’s favourite sauce?

Ghost: What is it?

Y/n: *giggles* mera nera (Marinara)

Ghost: *proud of Y/n*

—

*Soap and Gaz casually watching Tv*

*Y/n walking through the hallway while watching TikTok’s*

Y/n: *with headphones on* I’m gunna kill my mom.. I’m gunna kill my dad

Soap: what I’m god name..

Y/n: I’m gunna my grandma

Soap: what is she up to??

Gaz: it’s a TikTok sound don’t worry

Soap: a what?

Gaz: it’s a sound thing.. uh just don’t worry it’s fake

Soap: *drops eyebrow raise* right..

Soap&Gaz: …

Soap: I’m old right

Gaz: *quickly responds* yeah

—

Y/n: two bros chilling in a hot tub five feet apart cuz they aren’t gay

Soap: Ghost is my boyfriend??

Ghost:.. you forgot didn’t you?

Y/n: pff noo.. maybe.. ok yeah fine just for a second..

Soap: *laughs*

(Saw something like this off of Pinterest I didn’t copy them I did change it so it was different I just used this vine and also thought it had fitted well for these three)

—

Y/n: *whispers* ok Alejandro we need to place these *suggests hand grenades* with the rope so it will set it off when he opens his door

Alejandro: *whispers back* sound like a plan amiga (friend)

*Y/n and Alejandro grab a piece of rope and a grenade each*

*hears door open*

Graves: uhh what are you doing

Y/n: *hides rope and grenade* nothing that may concern you, Graves

Graves: *raises eyebrow*

*hears some saucy TikTok edit sound*

Y/n: what you watching in there Graves??

Alejandro: sounds a bit odd if you ask me

Y/n: agreed

Graves: uh.. uh nothing leave me alone

Y/n: your on my sus radar

Graves: WHAT WHY

Y/n: Run!

*Y/n and Alejandro runs off most likely to Ghost or Price for protection*

—

Y/n: I have a question..

Ghost: Go on..

Y/n: if an animal were to speak what one would be the most scary?

Soap: a chihuahua

Ghost: what?

Soap: how you ever been with one they are vicious little things

Ghost: I would’ve said a goblin shark

Y/n: well at least one of us gave a decent answer..

Soap: THEY ARE VICIOUS OK?! *gets flashbacks from getting chased by one*

—

Gaz: hey Price do you know updog?

Price: updog?

Y/n: yeah do you know updog?

Price: what’s updog?

Gaz: nothing much? You?

Gaz&Y/n: *bursts out laughing*

Price: *confused* kids today..

—

Y/n: Gaz let’s fight!

Gaz: why? Is there a reason?

Y/n: idk? What’s your favourite animal?

Gaz: uhh probably a chameleon?

Y/n: fuck chameleons!

Gaz: WATCH IT YOU!

—

Hi! I will be double posting today as I may or may not post tomorrow as it will be my birthday! I have had some requests which I’m currently working on. Still feel free to request anything you would like to see or anything that comes to mind. Have a good day/night! :D

[sleepyfan-blog]

I VERY DESPERATELY NEED/Want Baby Primarch Mers. So Badly. PLEASE!

Ok! I"ll go down the list

1 - Lion - So, the temptation to make him part lionfish is incredible here. There's also the fact that IRL Lionfish are a huge problem in certain parts of the world because they are an invasive species in those areas, as well as incredibly deadly because of their poisonous spines. And considering how deadly Lion and his sons can be... Yeah, I think he's part lionfish. Specifically he has a deep green tail with silver stripes. His spines are black and gold and hold incredibly potent poisons.

2- ??? [REDACTED BY THE ORDER OF THE EMPEROR]]

3- Fulgrim - He is part Coral Beauty Angelfish, and has a beautiful purple tail that fades into a vibrant yellow color. Coral beauties (at least according to the quick google search I did about them) are an incredibly hardy salt water fish, and known for their vibrant colorations.

4 - Perturabo - is part Cabezon - which are known for being Stubborn Bastard Fish who Refuse To Move until they get their next meal, willing to wait days and even weeks before they get their next meal. Which is often other fish, which I feel fits Peter turbo pretty well. He has a pleated tail and fins that are a mottled steel and black color, with the occasional yellow stripe.

5 - Jaghatai - is part Sailfish - which are allegedly one of the fastest fish in the world IRL. He has a bright white tail with red stripes. His fins are also white with red stripes.

6 - Leman - is part Piranha. Not only are Piranhas highly predatory, they also are species of fish that school together. Like how Space Wolves almost always stick together in packs. Also, he still has fangs in this AU. His tail and fins are a lovely slate grey color with an iridescent shine to them.

7 - Rogal - part greenland shark! Cold adapted predator of the sea. Doesn't look like much but is an apex predator in the seas it lives in. He has gorgeous golden fins and tails with black spots.

8 - Konrad - part goblin shark. I didn't pick it just because of the name, but because it is a deep water shark (lives in darkness, just like a certain edgy primarch) that is rarely seen by humans. And. Well. Most humans who saw Konrad didn't exactly live to tell about it, did they? He has a deep blue tail and fins that are surprisingly slender. But powerful and he has a hell of a bite and many, many pointy teeth.

9 - Sanguinius - He has a beautiful silver tail and fin-like wings, as his mer-half is flying fish! Although I was super tempted to make him part-lamprey because of the blood-sucking aspect of him.

10 -  Ferrus - as per the suggestions of @angronsjewelbeetle @c-u-c-koo-4-40k and @i-am-a-dragon34 Ferrus is now part Dunkleostous, with dark grey fins and tail on his dorsal side and a silvery ventral side.

11 - ?? [REDACTED BY THE ORDER OF THE EMPEROR]

12 - Angron - part betta fish. He has striking red and gold fins and tail and will square the fuck up if the mood strikes.

13 - Roboute - there is a big temptation to go for the Ultramarlin pun, but I won't give in. What I am going with is part Ribbon Eel, as they have this really lovely blue body with bright yellow dorsal and ventral stripes that go all the way down their bodies. That and G-Man having a long tail to thwap his brothers with makes me giggle.

14 - Mortarion - part pufferfish. Prickly, defensive and poisonous. Can and will puff up. Has grey fins and tail with dark green spots. Spiny.

15 - Magnus: I am torn between making him part carp - because of the Japanese (I think?) myth about a carp jumping up a waterfall in order to become a dragon - which hints at Magnus' incredibly powerful warp abilities or an Abtu, which is a mythical ancient Egyptian fish, because Space Egypt. Thoughts? Opinions?

16 - Horus: Is part dolphin. Known for being very charismatic and charming, but can and will bully other kinds of sea life. Baby-Horus has a deep green tail with gold markings.

17 - Lorgar - I love the Parrot Fish pun suggestion by @c-u-c-koo-4-40k so that is what I am going with. His fins and tail are a deep red color with a silver shimmer to them.

18 - Vulcan - another excellent suggestion by @c-u-c-koo-4-40k for making one of the primarchs part barracuda! I have decided on Vulcan, rather than Magnus. Vulcan’s dorsal fins and tail are a deep green color, the ventral side is black. Along the middle where the two colors meet, he had gold spots.

19 - Corvus: Part of me wants to make Corvus either some kind of shark, or angler fish bc of his whole "sworn vengeance and eternally hunting after Lorgar post-heresy" thing but. Big E is also a being who loves himself some aesthetics and I don't think a part-angler fish boy would fit that. Perhaps part black-tipped shark bc of their stealthiness. Thoughts?

20 - Alpharius and Omegon: are color-pallet changed blue-ring octopi. Instead of a yellow body with bright blue rings, they have vibrant teal tentacles with bright silver ring-patterns across their tentacles and up the fishy parts of their bodies.

@egrets-not-regrets @the-pure-angel