#and I haven’t been inspired to write lately except for at work yesterday when I made that drabble

[samaraxmorgan]

Mutuals pls hold a gun to my head and tell me to write

[marie-swriting]

A New Lesson - Robin Buckley

Stranger Things Masterlist

Summary : You move back to Hawkins after several years away from your first best friend and first kiss, Robin Buckley.

Warnings : fluff, mutual pining, some internalised homophobia, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language tell me if you see some and if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 3.2k

French version

Song inspiration : Kissing Lessons by Lucy Dacus

You’re out of breath when you quickly knock on the door of your History class. The teacher stops her lesson and invites you to come in. You open the door and smile awkwardly. Without realising it, you take a rapid look at the class, your eyes landing on a face you instantly recognised despite the years : Robin Buckley, your first best friend. Your breath speeds up even if you’re not running anymore. Meanwhile, the teacher keeps looking at you, waiting for your explanation. You look away from Robin, clear your throat and start talking.

“Sorry for being late, I couldn’t find the room.”

“Y/N Y/L/N, right ?” She asks and you nod. “It’s your first day so don’t worry about it. You can sit down, we were just starting the lesson. By the way, could you come talk to me at the end of the class ?” She adds when you’re sitting.

You try to follow the lecture, not wanting to be even more behind than you already are. You just moved back to Hawkins and the school year has started a few months ago meaning you’ll need to work a lot the first weeks at Hawkins High School. Though, you can’t help but think about Robin who is only two seats behind you. Her hair is shorter than before and her clothing style is way different, it’s not her mother’s taste anymore but hers. You think she’s cute, just like when you were younger. You don’t know if you should talk to her after class. After all, you haven’t seen each other since you were seven, she probably didn’t even recognise you. If you were to talk to her, maybe you’d make the situation awkward. No, it’s better if you act as if you don’t know her, except if she came to talk to you. But you’d really love to reconnect with her again. Your thoughts keep running in your head until the bell rings. Everyone packs their things and runs away from the classroom while you walk to your teacher’s desk.

“How was your first day ? Was it difficult to follow the classes ?” She worries and you shrug.

“In some subjects, yes, but the teachers offered their help if I needed it. Besides that, I just really need to find my bearings in this school.” You answer and she smiles.

“You’ll get used to it quickly, our school is not that big. If you have questions, don’t hesitate to ask. Well, I’m not holding you back any longer, have a nice week-end Y/N.”

“You, too, miss.”

You leave the room and go to the exit. When you walk through the door, Robin comes to you, nervousness can be read on her face while a big smile takes its place on yours. 

“Y/N, hey ! It’s me, Robin Buckley.” She introduces herself and you chuckle lightly.

“I know, I recognised you.”

“Really ? I thought… I mean, I guess you…”

“I’d have forgotten you ?” You ask, shocked and she nods. “Robin, you’re my first best friend, I’d never forget you. But I have to admit, I was afraid you would have.”

“I could never forget you either !” Robin retorts, almost outraged. “I’m so happy to see you’re back, I missed you so much ! When did you come back ?”

“Two weeks ago, but I’ve been helping my parents to move in 'till yesterday.”

“You’re staying here for a while ?”

“For now, we haven’t planned on leaving any time soon.” You inform and her face brightens.

“Really ?”

“Yeah ! So, we can see each other like we used to. We need to plan something, by the way and you also have to show me around in Hawkins ! Some things must have changed in this good old city.” You exclaim, excited.

“Not much, but I’ll be glad to give you a tour.”

“Great. Oh, wait !”, you start before taking a piece of paper and a pen, you quickly write something before talking again, “it’s my phone number, call me and we’ll decide on a date to meet.”

“Sure.”

You’re about to add something when you hear someone honking. You turn your head and see your mom’s car.

“Sorry, I have to go, my mom is waiting for me.”

“Don’t worry, I have to go to work anyway.”

“I’m glad we met again, Robin.”

“So do I.”

You smile at her one last time before running to your mom’s car. Meanwhile, Robin looks at you, paralysed. She can’t believe you’re back. Her brain is fusing as she thinks about what your return means. She doesn’t wait any longer before going to Family Video.

When she arrives at work, Steve doesn’t have time to raise his head that Robin puts her hands on the counter with a serious face.

“We have an emergency, Steve.”

“An emergency ? What emergency ?” He asks, looking around, worried.

“No, a ‘girl’ emergency. Y/N is back.” She states dramatically and Steve frowns.

“I’m supposed to know who she is ?”

“Okay, long story short”, Robin starts and Steve knows she’s not going to do the ‘long story short’, “Y/N was my first best friend. We met in kindergarten. We were very close, we had an almost fusional relationship ! I even think our parents were tired of us always hanging out. Anyway, we were as thick as thieves, you know ? And one day, in second grade, Y/N had this crush on that guy named Justin. Honestly, I still don’t know what she found in him, he was a little bit dumb. He had these stupid remarks sometimes and he wasn’t even funny.”

“Robin, go straight to the point.” Steve cuts her.

“The point is that she had a crush on him and she wanted to admit her feelings but she didn’t know how so she asked for my help and as a good best friend, I accepted. We went to my place and we tried to act the scene, we tried to imagine what she could tell him. At one moment, I was saying what she could do and at another, she showed me what she thought she could do. The more we were starting to invent scenarios, the more confident she got. She was sure she could get Justin. She was so sure she wanted to get ready for the… kiss. We were seven so I told her we could practise. It was just a small peck, I didn’t think too much about it but when she got closer and closer to Justin, I started being overprotective and on top of that, we were starting to drift apart so I was convinced I was losing my best friend, but clearly it was more and…”

“Basically, you had a crush on her ?” Steve asks, trying to make sure he understood the situation.

“She was my first crush ever, but she left for another State when I realised my feelings could be deeper than I thought and we lost contact so I thought it was just some childish feelings, but Steve when I saw her entering my History class… I couldn’t explain it even if I tried. She is so pretty and she didn’t forget about me ! We talked a little, she even gave me her number and Steve, I think I still have feelings for her.” Robin finished with glowing eyes.

“Finally one of us will be in a relationship.” He states with a smile.

“We’re not there yet !”

“You said she gave you her number, I think it’s a good sign.”

“She just wants me to show her the new things around town and wants us to hang out as friends. It doesn’t mean anything !”

“If you don’t try, you can’t never know.” Steve affirms and Robin has her eyes wide open.

“Do you even realise how risky that is ?”

“Please, you have the perfect excuse with your second grade moment to test the water. You just need to bring the topic smoothly.” He suggests as if it was easy.

“You mean the thing I don’t know how to do ?”

“I’m sure you’re being overdramatic. Call her to, at least, plan something then you’ll see.” Steve adds as he takes the phone and puts it in front of Robin.

“I can’t, we’re working.”

“Yeah, because we currently have so many customers.” Steve says ironically while showing the empty place with his hand.

“You know I hate you.” Robin states with a fake smile.

“Don’t forget to thank me when you’ll finally be in a relationship.”

“Dingus.”

Robin takes a deep breath as she takes the piece of paper out of her jeans. She admires the paper before grabbing the phone and composing the number. Internally, she prays for you to not pick up, like that, she’ll be able to call you when she’s at home, away from her best friend’s gaze. Though, you don’t listen to her prayers and pick up the phone after five rings.

“Hey, Y/N, it’s Robin.” She starts, totally nervous.

“Robin ? Hey ! I wasn’t expecting your call now.”

“Sorry, am I bothering you ? I can call back later, it’s okay.”

“No !” You scream, knowing she was about to hang up. “What I meant is that I thought you were at work so I thought you’d call me later or during the week-end.”

“I got some free time so I told myself I could give you a call to see if we could plan something this week-end or maybe on another day next week, if it’s better for you or maybe you'd prefer in two weeks, I mean, tell me what’s best for you, you probably still have so many boxes to unpack anyway.” Robin rambles and Steve looks at her, desperate.

“Robin, this week-end works for me.” You affirm with joy. “Actually, a moment away from these boxes would be the best. We can see each other tomorrow ? And we could have a sleepover at my place, for old time sake.”

“Why not !”

“Perfect, I’ll pick you up tomorrow ? I can take my parents’ car so it’d be easier to hang out.”

“Cool, it works for me. I still don’t have my licence, it’s too expensive.” Robin adds and she curses herself for this useless piece of information.

“That’s for sure.” You laugh. “So, see you tomorrow ?”

“Yes, see you tomorrow, Y/N.”

When you hang up, a big smile can be seen on Robin’s face. Steve can tell Robin does everything to contain her joy and he thinks it’s adorable the way Robin is beside herself because of her feelings for you.

Until the end of her shift at Family Video, Robin can’t stop talking about what you both are going to do the next day. She shares with Steve every scenario. At first, she imagines the cutest moment ever but then she thinks you might violently push her away. When she thinks about the worst, Steve does everything to reassure her. He can’t imagine how complicated it might be for her to have feelings for a girl and to not be able to be open about it like she would want so he encourages her as best as he can, hoping she won’t be stressing too much the next day and accidentally sabotage herself this moment with you.

When you pick Robin up, you guys don’t wait before driving around town, without a destination in mind. Robin tells you the last gossip in town and you listen to her attentively. You both talk about the years you missed. The conversations are easy, it’s as if you’d never lost contact with each other. Having her close to you again brings you so much happiness, you like her company. You knew you missed her, but you would have never imagined it was that much. The more you talk with Robin, the more your old feelings become stronger. Sometimes, you even have to stop yourself before talking, knowing you were about to betray yourself. Robin is in the same situation. She’d like to “taste the water” like Steve recommended, but she doesn’t want to ruin your moment so she avoids talking about your second grade moment.

The evening, you start your sleepover, it’s almost as if you were seven again, the only difference is that you don’t play before talking. When you were younger, you used to play until your parents would turn off the light, at that moment you’d spend the night talking discreetly. At least, that’s what you thought, but your parents admitted later on that they knew you were never sleeping. You actually inform Robin about it and she laughs out loud. You both keep giggling for a few minutes. When you get a grip on yourselves, you look at her with softness and you smile while you’re both laying on your bed.

“It’s been a long time since I had this much fun with someone.” You state and Robin frowns.

“You’re not gonna make me believe our sleepover is better than your school parties with all of your friends.”

“What makes you think I’m invited to big parties with friends ?”

“Y/N, I’m not stupid. You obviously have a lot of friends in your old school.” She retorts matter of factly.

“Actually I don’t. I had, like, two friends with whom I wasn’t very close and a boyfriend with whom I dated only for a month.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“Believe it or not but it’s complicated to find a best friend as good as you. Or just a person in general with whom I can have a connection as strong as ours.” You inform and Robin tries to find a secret message in your words.

“What do you mean by ‘just a person in general’, what about your boyfriend ?”

“Like I said, it didn’t last. I broke up with him before leaving.”

“You didn’t want to try a long-distance relationship ?” She asks and you shrug, trying to find the best way to explain the situation.

“It’s not really that. I would have broken up with him even if I hadn’t left because… I don’t know how to say it, but my feelings for him were never really that strong and when I was kissing him, it was… weird.”

Robin’s brain freezes while hearing these words. She asks herself if she needs to analyse with more care what you just said. After all, it looks like your experience is close to hers, but maybe you were simply not in love with that guy but you still love only men. Robin musters up her courage and starts ‘testing the water’.

“Looks like you need a new kissing lesson, then.” She states casually and you don’t answer right away, making her panic. “Sorry, I didn’t want to make the situation weird.”

“You really remember that ?” You ask with an ounce of hope.

“Yeah. I mean because it was about your first crush and your first kiss so it was important for you. I would be a bad best friend if I forgot those kinds of details.” She tries to justify herself, wanting to end the conversation but you want to keep talking about it.

“He might have been my first ‘crush’, but we can’t really say he was my first kiss.”

“You think of me as your first kiss ?” Robin asks, shocked, her heart beating fast.

“Our lips touched, didn’t they ? Maybe just for a second, but they did.” You affirm, nervous.

“Yeah, but it didn’t mean anything. You wanted to be ready for Justin.” She continues, not wanting to get her high hopes. “I still don't know what you found in him, by the way.”

“Me neither.” You laugh softly and she follows you. “Especially after that moment, he wasn’t as interesting anymore.”

“But you still confessed your feelings to him.”

“I was seven, I was confused. It was even worse when I kissed him.” You add and Robin is getting more and more confused. 

“I don’t understand, Y/N. You were completely ‘in love’ with him, at least as much as a kid can be. You were glued to him.”

“It was because I was afraid to be close to you again.” You admit and Robin sits on your bed, her cheeks turning red.

“I… I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, I just wanted to help you, I’m sorry.” She apologises, feeling bad and you stand up in panic.

“No, that’s not what I meant ! What I meant is that after this moment I… I was confused about what I was feeling for you. You were my best friend and I… I wanted more. I didn’t understand what was happening to me.” You state but you give up, thinking you’ve worsened the situation. “Sorry, maybe I shouldn’t have told you that. I’d understand if…”

“Do you really mean it ?” Robin interrupts you. “You felt something for me ?”

“I… yes and as I’ve already started to dig my grave, I might as well confess I still do feel something for you.” You continue, but she stays silent, making you more uncomfortable. “Robin, say something, please.”

“I can’t believe you feel the same thing for me.” She says softly.

“The same thing ?”

“Y/N, when I saw you in class yesterday, my heart literally skipped a beat.” Robin starts, looking you in the eyes. “You’ve always been important to me. I was beside myself when I realised you were back. If you had seen me talking to Steve, you would’ve thought I was pathetic. I almost told him the whole story of our friendship, I didn’t say anything because he wanted me to go straight to the point.” She informs, talking faster and faster. “Despite the years, you still have power over me, it’s almost scary, but yes, I do have feelings for you, I always have. I was also so confused when you got closer to Justin, I only wanted you to be close to me and I didn’t understand why and now, I’m starting to realise I might be talking too much, but the point is I care about you, Y/N so yes, I feel the same thing for you.”

“Does that mean I can ask for a new lesson ?” You question, feeling confident again and slowly getting closer to her.

“I think I might need one too.”

“Perfect, we’re gonna help each other, then.”

Softly, you put your hand on Robin’s cheek and get closer to her with a small smile while Robin tries to hide her nervousness. Even if she’s been waiting for this moment, she’s afraid you’d think she’s a bad kisser or she doesn’t know where to put her hands on you correctly. She keeps overthinking until you press your lips on hers. At that moment, her anxiety vanishes away. She gets you closer to her by naturally putting her hand on your neck. You let your body act the way it wants and you and Robin keep kissing with tenderness until you’re out of breath. When you break the kiss, you take a deep breath again and get a grip on yourselves before looking at each other with a big smile. 

“Much better than our first kiss, but I think I might need another reminder.” You inform and Robin doesn’t wait before kissing you a second time with more passion.

Stranger Things Masterlist

{This is my side blog so I'll be answering comments under the username @marie-sworld}

[wanderingaldecaldo]

As I arrived late to the Cyberpunk party, it’s only fitting I post my tribute late as well. Reading everyone’s words yesterday, my eyes misted over time and again from the stories that echoed the same themes, of people being pulled from depressions, of finding their creative inspiration once more, of new and dear friendships.

I share a similar story. A year ago, I was in the worst depression of my life. I had done well coping through the first year of pandemic when a personal tragedy put me in a tailspin, and I struggled. I made it through the holidays and into 2021, but there was little joy in my life.

Late in January I saw Cyberpunk on sale on Amazon for $40, which is my particular sweet spot. I don’t particularly follow AAA game news—with the loose exception of Bioware—but I had heard about the issues that plagued development, the constantly changing release dates, and of course the problems on launch. But I also knew CDPR had pledged to fix the game, and were actively working on it. For $40, it was worth a shot. Even better, I spent credit card points and basically got it and Katamari Damacy Reroll for free. (Hey kids, being an adult means you have to pay credit cards, but you can also use the points for free video games. It’s weird shit.)

On 1/25, StreetKid Val debuted. Less than a week later, I was on AO3 looking for Goro. My last visit was November ‘17, in search of Dragon Age: Inquisition. (Sidenote: That last playthrough had me falling for Solas, hard. That was surprising.) Most of the media I consume doesn’t compel me to seek out fanfiction—Bioware and Hannibal have been my only recent forays—so finding myself in search of romance for a game I’d been playing for six days was unexpected.

Like so many in this fandom, I was captivated by the handsome ronin, his quirks and gentle eyes and keen sense of humor, and was just as outraged when I couldn’t romance him, and the idea for a fic started to grow, to the point I had to write it down.

I haven’t written in years, at least seriously. I have a couple of fics I pull out and tinker with, a Mass Effect love triangle between Shepard, Garrus and Zaeed—I would let that old man murder me—and a Dragon Age: Inquisition story that I adore, a tale of love and redemption featuring Blackwall. But here is this game, this poorly reviewed and reviled game with it’s beautiful atmosphere and vibrant characters, captivating me and encouraging a creativity I hadn’t felt in ages.

I continued on with the game, finding myself falling in love with all of the Aldecaldos, and Panam in particular. I loved the camaraderie between the veterans. And Johnny grew on me, so that by the time I did the dreaded Embers visit, I knew I couldn’t follow The Devil ending. It was Panam and the Aldecaldos for this StreetKid, and bringing along her best girl Judy. I started The Star ending, and the second Val woke up in Panam’s truck in the Badlands, with Mitch Anderson’s kind eyes waiting in the window, I fell hard.

Suddenly I was scouring AO3 for anything with Mitch. A flippant comment on a fic led to an invite to Lizzie’s, my first Discord server, and my life turned upside down. I’d never been involved in a fandom before. I’d published on ff.net, and even had an AO3 account, but had not participated on LiveJournal (yeah I’m old), and suddenly I was surrounded by people who were just as passionate about these flawed, beautiful characters as me. Being surrounded by such creative people fostered my own creativity further, and before I knew it, I had the beginnings of a story about two gonks falling in love.

Something else happened along the way. In my previous writings, I never explored my Shepard or Inquisitor. I never dipped into their inner workings beyond the story provided by the narrative, and a few details here or there. It was enough for me to take that character as given and use them as the vehicle for the story I wanted to tell.

But V—Val—she became something more. The story of Cyberpunk made her more than just a protagonist to me. She fought to do the right thing, and to redeem herself for her bad choices, to protect her friends. She became real and fully-fleshed. Telling her story, I fell in love as much with her as I already had with Mitch. No One’s Gonna Love You wasn’t just a way for me to romance a non-romanceable character, it was for Val. Val, who deserves the devotion of someone like Mitch, who deserves her own happily ever after.

A year ago, if you’d told me I would write a novel-length romance about grief and loss, I would have laughed. If you’d further told me it would be the best prose I’ve ever written, I would have spat out my drink. Yet today, as I publish the final chapter, my heart overflows with love for this flawed, beautiful game. All of this, because I fell in love with the most beautiful eyes in Night City.

It’s been a year of extremes, with moments where I wished I’d fallen in love with a different set of pixels, to tears of joy like this week when I opened a package from Biscuit to find Val’s gorgeous face greeting me, as well as the meatspace version of this drawing. I’ve made friends and mutuals with people decades younger, who remind me of the passion I felt at that age when I was in love with a different set of pixels (Auron, probably)—and also remind me of the struggles of being that age, when everything feels so important and dramatic. It’s refreshing to be surrounded by this energy and passion. I feel blessed to witness it and feel its warmth.

Because of Mitch, I’ve fallen in love with so many of your OCs and their ships. I have friends who I’ve celebrated joys and shared sorrows with, people who have talked me through dark moments and trusted me to do the same. I’ve had the absolute privilege of meeting two of these friends in person this year, and I hope to meet more in the coming year.

So thank you, CDPR, and thank you, all my friends and mutuals and followers for making this such a wonderful place. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go read start-to-finish the most self-indulgent thing I’ve ever written. Mitch and Val need their happy ending.

[skellebonez]

14. With a possessed monkie kid? (Doesn't have to be my au, i just crave possession stuff rn fbsbfb)

Oh you gave me so much power. I have too much power. I had to write this ASAP before Friday, I did not want the idea I had to be tempered by what happens in the finale. Since this is supposed to be set a couple weeks after what could possibly happen. Spoilers if you haven’t read the summary for S2E10.

This may not be in your Possession AU, but it takes a little inspiration from it because I love it!

Warning: vaguely described injuries, blood. Reminder that I think Macaque can be severely hurt but is immortal to the point he can heal any injury.

Am I scaring you?

“Hey- don’t scream it’s just me- You guys seen MK around?”

Despite Macaque’s request, Pigsy and Tang continued to scream. It wasn’t surprising, really. It wasn’t every day that an enemy your friend/person you see as a son just revealed to you a couple weeks earlier had attacked him twice in ways that had left him pretty messed up and questioning his choices and abilities just pops their body from the shoulders up out of the shadows on your wall without warning. Doubly so when very shortly after learning all this that person does a heel face turn and joins your side without technically joining it against everyone’s will and is still kind of an asshole.

The immortal monkey needed to work on that last bit. Maybe he could upgrade from “asshole” to “jerk face” in the eyes of Team MK if he brought drinks. He didn’t really care though, he just wanted to make his own life easier. At least Wukong had been... somewhat open to letting him stick around, given MK convinced them to talk when they were too exhausted after the giant mech battle to actually fight each other, and that made their joint training sessions with MK much easier. That still took getting used to.

"Has MK been acting... off to you lately?" Macaque asked after Tang and Pigsy stopped screaming and levied him with unhappy glowers at the intrusion. One more note to add on the ‘things he should probably stop doing if people want to not hate him’ list, announcing himself better. "I know I'm kinda knew to this whole ‘technically not being a bad guy and caring a bit about other people’ thing and all but he seems..."

‘Not being a bad guy’. Nailed it.

"Dead inside?" Tang deadpanned. "Yeah, we kinda noticed."

“A little more blunt than I was gonna put it but yeah,” Macaque stepped out of the shadows fully, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly as Pigsy grabbed a wooden spoon and held it. A warning that he would not hesitate to chuck it at him at the first excuse he needed. “He’s been acting odd around both me and Wukong. Which, you know, given everything that happened I get it, but he hasn’t come to his last three training sessions at all.”

This, unlike everything else he had said, seemed to make the two men pause.

“What do you mean?” Tang asked, pushing his glasses up and looking at him oddly. “He’s been leaving for those on time like normal.”

“Ah, well, you see,” Macaque chose his next few words carefully. Being honest, truly honest without theatrics or planning in advance to help him, was a new undertaking for him so he stumbled through it. “The first time it happened Wukong astral projected to him and they talked and he seemed ok enough, like he just needed a break. The next time it happened I kinda... followed him? Just to make sure he was ok, no evil shadow business! He just kinda wandered downtown the entire time, looking like he was lost without being lost. If that makes sense. But yesterday he did the same thing so I did the same thing and I found him just kinda... sitting in front of the entrance to DBK’s old hideout?”

Instead of making the two men more concerned, this seemed to make them both deflate.

“Yeah...” Pigsy said softly, lowering the spoon just a bit. “He’s been doing that. We, uh... we had Mei follow him a couple times on deliveries because he was acting off. He did the sitting thing a few days ago too, just while he was on break or if he finished his deliveries early. He’s been doing that a lot lately, like he wants to get things done fast so he can do whatever he’s doing.”

“But he isn’t even doing anything!” Tang said, gripping his hair with one hand. “It’s like he’s just... sitting? Like he just wants to be alone maybe? Sandy’s been talking to him, trying to help him with the cats and everything, but he thinks he needs to see his therapist instead... I think he’s right.”

Macaque frowned for a second before forcing a wide smile on his face. “I thought so. I think Sandy may have the right idea too, you should talk to him. OK BYE-E!”

Before the two men could react he fell backward into the shadows and dissipated. He had somewhere to be.

~

Just sitting... no. Macaque was sure of it now as he watched MK sitting in front of the hole that still had not been filled since DBK had left the Flaming Foundry, cloaked in shadow behind littered debris. His conversation with the Monkie Kid’s elders confirmed the immortal’s suspicions.

MK was waiting for something.

And that meant something was deeply wrong.

He hadn’t lied to the duo in the noodle shop, but he hadn’t told them the full truth either. Macaque had been following MK for the last week, already knew about Mei himself, partly out of curiosity at first but also out of Wukong’s own insistence. He was worried for his successor and knew that Macaque could keep a quieter eye on him than he ever could, and Wukong... Wukong and MK, despite their renewed training, were not on the best of terms right then. Not after he learned what the vacation really was, not after he learned that his mentor knew about the White Bone Spirit the entire time. They were still close! Closer than MK was to Macaque when he trained him at least, just. Strained.

Watching his two teachers finally talk for once and work out what actually happened all those centuries ago, showing that Wukong wasn’t just an unflappable hero but a person who made mistakes and had worked to better himself and would continue to do so because he was a person, probably softened that a bit. He was still upset but much less so in the week after the defeat... but this last week it was like all that had been undone too quickly. It started slowly, but after four days it was like they were back to the day he learned the truth but so much worse.

For the last three days MK was so quiet, reserved, completely unlike the loud and excited guy Macaque knew and like he just wanted to be left alone to sit and not interact with anyone. Tang said he was acting like he was “dead inside”.

That... wasn’t an entirely incorrect descriptor. It was like he was hollow and just going about the motions. Or like he had closed off everything inside of himself for some reason.

Wukong was terrified. He’d been talking to MK every day he didn’t come to the island to train via astral projection, and Macaque had just watched another conversation between the two end half an hour earlier. Macaque tried the same thing but didn’t get nearly as far as Wukong had been, and talking to him like this seemed to make him less likely to just up and leave (the few times Wukong had just come to MK instead made it clear how uncomfortable he had been, ending the conversations with a quick jump from the staff before Wukong could convince him to stay, so they decided to go with what made him more comfortable to find out what was happening).

So that was how they operated. Macaque watched MK. Made sure he was at least physically ok. Wukong talked to MK, didn’t force him to come to the island and wouldn’t show up unannounced. But despite them communicating more than they ever had it was like he was telling Wukong less than he ever had before. The one thing they didn’t tell him was what Macaque was doing.

“Am I scaring you?” MK suddenly said, loud enough for only Macaque to hear. His tone was... wrong. “You’re not nearly as sneaky as you think you are, Six-Ear.”

“What?” Macaque shot up and out of the shadows, eyes wide. MK had never called him that before.

The man before him stood, back to him and headband and coat oddly still in the blowing wind.

And then he jumped.

“MK!” Macaque reacted without thinking, diving down the hole after his Wukong’s student. He knew that he would be just fine, he could handle being thrown into a mountain so he could handle jumping down a giant hole, but the sight was too sudden and horrific for him to remember that at the moment.

Except he wasn’t there. When Macaque landed, the crash of his boots hitting the rocky ground echoing through the artificial cavern, he was alone.

Something was even more deeply wrong than he could have ever imagined.

“MK! Kid! Kiddo!?” He called out, all six of his ears out to catch any hint of movement. “Come on, you told me off for calling you Kiddo just last week, get angry at me so I know you’re ok! Tell me you’re a Monkey Man or something!” Macaque tried to keep his tone light, words lighter with an awkward laugh at the end of his sentences, but it only served to make the sinking feeling in his stomach worse. The opposite effect he wanted to accomplish. “Say something damn it!”

Silence. Everything was... silent. The only thing Macaque could hear was his own breathing, his own heartbeat, the rushing of blood in his ears... but nothing else.

Then a laugh. Low and soft and wrong and Macaque’s eyes widened as he realized his mistake.

He knew that laugh.

He also knew the feeling of the staff. He felt it during their first battle, when MK pulled every ounce of lingering power to defeat him. He felt it during that climactic encounter with Wukong, when his eye was damaged beyond repair.

He felt it now, as it jutted through his stomach without warning. Covered in blood.

Huh... that was kind of new, actually. He hadn’t felt a new sensation like that in so long.

The staff was pulled back and out of him quickly, driving him to his feet as he held the new wound and listened and nearly imperceptible footsteps made their way around him. How had he not heard... no. No he knew now. Now it was obvious what had happened.

Why did his wound burn like that? Why couldn’t he stand? He should be able to move, he wasn’t this weak!

“He beat you,” He groaned out, coughing as he tried to stay upright on his knees. “You should be-”

“Dead?” MK asked, voice his own but tone completely different. The black on his shoes were blue. As Macaque looked up he could see most of the color on his outfit had faded to white with blue accents. His eyes, the only think about him physically to be different, a brilliant blue to match. His headband was gone from around his head, instead used to help slick his hair back and out of his face. “How can you kill what already isn’t alive? No, I just waited in this body until I was able to influence him enough to make him... compliant. Much easier that way, actually.”

Either his vision went fuzzy or the world around them did, MK moving closer at a speed that shouldn’t be possible. His hands were grasping Macaque’s scarf tightly... this felt far too familiar.

“If you had been the dragon girl or anyone else I might have just killed you, you know,” MK’s voice said as he tilted his head to the side, an almost playful smile on his face. “But this is much more fun, and preferable. You can relay the message for me, once the poison I coated the staff in wears off and you heal anyway.”

Macaque was dropped unceremoniously onto his back, letting out an agonized yelp as he hit the ground. MK stomped on his wound, earning another scream.

“By then myself and this body will be long gone,” MK chuckled, stepping over Macaque completely to walk further into the foundry. “I must thank you, you played into my hands so much better than I ever planned on. Getting you all to work together to ‘beat me’ was just far too easy.” He stopped, turning to smirk at the immortal shuddering on the ground.

“I haven’t had a body this powerful in centuries,” the White Bone Spirit said with a laugh before vanishing in a fuzz of his vision and a wisp of cold air.

[billiedeanhwrd]

I know that you never sleep

wilhemina venable x reader

summary: your girlfriend spends the morning with you as your insomnia keeps you awake

warnings: none rlly except mentions of insomnia

word count: 916

a/n: i started writing this around a month ago when i was struggling with sleeping more than usual & just recently finished it. I haven't been feeling inspired or motivated lately due to school stress and personal issues, so if this sucks i'm sorry <3

gif credits to @shootthemessenger

Waking up to an empty bed was nothing new for Wilhemina. More nights than not she'd roll over, her arm reaching out searchingly, only to find the space next to her empty. Most nights she'd find you in the living room, stretched out on the couch with a book in your lap or aimlessly pacing around the room until you felt like you were able to sleep.

Sometimes when you were too tired to focus on a book, however not tired enough to sleep, you resorted to tasks that made the redhead chuckle when she found you. Organizing the spice drawer alphabetically only being one example.

Tonight, after searching for you in your whole apartment, she found you sitting on the balcony. you were looking up at the sky, knees tucked under your chin and coffee mug in your hand. The stars were fading and the pink light of the morning was beginning to spread behind the clouds.

Mina carefully moved towards you, not wanting to startle you, but the soft sound of her cane thudding on your carpeted floors giving her presence away. You hastily turned your head in her direction, the baby deer look in your eyes practically making the red heat melt. You features relaxed when you realized it was your girlfriend and you greeted her with a sad smile.

"Can't sleep again, little one?", she asked sympathetically as she placed a hand on your shoulder.

You nodded, "I'm sorry if I woke you"

Wilhemina shook her head, "it's fine"

"What are you doing out here? I expected you to be organizing our refrigerator according to color", she joked.

You let out a sad sigh, "I already did that yesterday"

Silence settled between you two as she glanced down at your face. you were exhausted, mentally, and physically, the pale skin and the dark circles under your eyes worrying your lover.

"I'll make us some tea" she announced, turning around and heading to the kitchen.

The sound of her cane and lack of her presence next to you tore you from your zombie-like state. You shook your head and frowned, "us?"

"The least I can do is keep you company", she called out to you as she made her way to the water boiler.

You jumped up from your spot, following your girlfriend. "You don't have to do that, this is my problem, you should get some sleep", you tried to argue.

"Nonsense", she replied.

You took in a big breath and opened your mouth, ready to convince the redhead to go back to bed, however, the stern look on her face shushed you before you could even utter a word.

You nodded, forcing yourself to accept her kindness, something that wasn't particularly easy for you. Deciding to make yourself useful, you opened the kitchen cabinet, grabbing two mugs as Wilhemina was searching for the tea bags. As your girlfriend was pouring the boiling hot water into the mugs, you sneaked up on her from behind and planted a soft kiss on her cheek. Whispering a soft "thank you" in her ear, you took the mugs into your hand and brought them over to the living room, Wilhemina following behind you.

You stopped and turned your head to the redhead, eyes curiously wide, silently asking where you should take the tea. She pointed to the balcony. "let's watch the sunrise together, little one". You nodded hastily and walked out to the balcony, Wilhemina smiling at your natural submissiveness.

After setting down the mugs on the small table between the two garden chairs, you helped your girlfriend to make herself comfortable. Holding her hand and letting her rest her weight on your shoulder, she managed to sit down without barely any pain. She shot you a grateful smile and you took her cane, putting it somewhere safe where there was no risk of it falling down your balcony.

After sitting down yourself, you took your first sip of the tea and reveled in the taste of your favorite beverage.

You sighed, relaxing your body, "the tea is delicious, you know just how I like it".

Mina laughed at you while she cradled her tea, letting it warm her hands, "yes, chai tea with oat milk, not that hard to remember, dear"

You blushed, a warm feeling spreading through you, yet quite unsure if it was the tea or the love you had for your girlfriend.

Wilhemina called in sick for both of you that day, you wouldn't be able to work properly in the state you were in and she didn't want to leave your side. Most of the people who knew the stoic woman wouldn't've recognized this behavior from her, but you brought out the most genuine gentleness in her, and the only thing that felt intuitive for her at this moment was to stay by your side.

Weather-wise it was a typical summer morning, the comfortably high temperature feeling like a warm hug from nature. You laid your head on the redhead's shoulder and she brushed her lips against your forehead. You looked up at the woman you loved and whispered "thank you". She met your gratitude with a simple nod, accompanied by a loving smile as she extended her arm and placed it around you, goosebumps appearing under her touch. You both turned your heads back to the sunrise, beautiful colors painting the sky as you basked in the happiness that a simple and peaceful morning with your person could bring.

[alreadyblondenow]

On and Off

Taeyong x ballerina!reader // FLUFF, SMUT, angst? idol!au Summary: The first few months of being in a relationship with Taeyong was normal as it could be. Exchanging text massages, dates, phone call from evening until morning. But as you dive deeper into the relationship and months turned into years, you realised that normal will be something hard to achieve.  Word Count: 5k Warnings: Protected and unprotected sex, cursing, mentions of other idols, loneliness, anxiety, pressure,  Note: few notes again hihi -Inspired by my one and only keshi - onoffonoff please listen to his music its amazing I literally only listen to him these past few days.  -This is another part/story of my life, so I could only hope no one steals my work. Because this is inspire by true events, except the pregnancy part. And the good ending, mine didn’t end well haha

It has been years since you kissed Taeyong for a stupid dare, not knowing who he is and not knowing he’s a famous idol in his country. You were clueless, simple as that. Little did you know that kiss will literally change your life. Was it luck or was it destiny that brought Taeyong in your life? After kissing him that night he stick to you like glue insisting to spend more time together and drink and dance the whole night.

One thing led to another, and Taeyong just keeps coming back to you and you welcome him with open arms. Thanks to Google, you learned a lot about Taeyong. All the basic stuff about who he is, what about him and finally being a fan of NCT. Its funny how dating Taeyong over the years made your life complicated and exciting at the same time. You figured, maybe it’s because you’re crazy with each other that’s why.

Ever since Taeyong came into your life your heart is half and half. The first half is for your first love which is dancing ballet and the other half is for someone extraordinary, Taeyong.

The first few months of being in a relationship with Taeyong was normal as it could be. Exchanging text massages, dates, phone call from evening until morning. But as you dive deeper into the relationship and months turned into years, you realised that normal will be something hard to achieve.

ON

A lot of adjustments happened in order to continue being together. For you it’s understanding that Taeyong is someone important not just to you and his family but to a lot of people around the world. Helping him sort out his thoughts while writing lyrics and  listening to whatever he says to you. Stay with him at the studio even if means burying yourself at the studio couch and binge watch Netflix while waiting for him to finish recording. For Taeyong, his love language is massaging your sore feet from ballet practice and picking you up every night after his work. Watching your performance giving his full support, emotionally and physically.

You’re each other’s number one fan.

OFF

During ballet practice today, your toes are already bleeding from hard work which something you don’t regret on doing. But the company was having an earful from the director tonight, never ending “do it again” and “from the top” everyone wanted to cry. Good thing Taeyong will pick you up after ballet practice, finally something to look forward to. Or so you thought.

It’s already 9pm, practice was dismissed half an hour ago and Taeyong still hasn’t come yet. The rain is pouring outside and your feet and toes needs to rest. You’ve left a dozen messages to Taeyong already but still, no answer. Before you decide on waiting a little more, his manager called you to tell you that Taeyong forgot to pick you up tonight and that he can’t leave anytime soon. You don’t have a choice but to take the subway and walk under the rain with your small umbrella. Your wet flats makes your bruises even worse, you feel the pain every step you make but the thing that’s even more painful is Taeyong didn’t picked you up when you needed him the most. You can only let out a string of curses here and there and cheer yourself to keep on walking.

When you finally got home you went straight to the bathroom limping and cleaned your bruises. Too tired to even stand up, you still have to make your shoes and sew a little bit for tomorrow’s practice. Still thinking about how heavy your day was, you sat in front of the mirror while sewing and waiting for Taeyong to come home.

After preparing everything you need for practice tomorrow, you head to the kitchen and made dinner for Taeyong. Maybe he’s hungry when he got home? A few minutes later, you heard the door beep. Taeyong startled you and hugged you from behind, you already sensed something is off. “Sorry about earlier” Of course you wanted to ask him but you didn’t want to pry, he looks exhausted as you are.

He kissed you good night on the forehead not even letting you to kiss him back as he walks towards your shared room and change. That’s it? He’s never like this and you wonder why, you reflect on the past days but all you can only recall are days full of laughter with him.

ON

The morning after, you were at the kitchen making your green smoothy when the same arms from last night encircled to your waist. Familiar kisses landed to your cheeks and neck, “Good morning” Taeyong greeted you with a raspy voice, his chin rests on your neck. “I’m sorry about last night, I forgot to pick you up and… our come back has slow process, everyone doesn’t look good” you wanted to throw a fit and push him away but you know that Taeyong loves his work, and if he said that something is wrong, something is indeed wrong.

You turned around and hugged him back, giving him one big bear hug, “I’m not mad anymore. But, I have to go now I’ll be late-“ to your surprise he kneels in front of you completely pissed off because of your toes. “I think you should skip practice today - I can’t believe I let you go home alone last night with those feet” it’s not nice to see Taeyong so annoyed and pissed early in the morning. But you know you can’t skip practice today, “I’ll go home early if you can make it up to me today” it’s the only reasonable deal you could make, and you can only hope he’s up for it. “Will do” he kissed your lips, “I love you. I’m sorry, this will never happen again” you believe him.

And he did make it up to you. He made lunch and got an early out from working with his music. Not only did he cooked for the both of you but he cleaned the whole apartment which you thought wasn’t necessary. He made kimchi stew and kimchi fried rice, with a table full of laughter brought to you by your boyfriend and a bottle of wine from Johnny.

After eating lunch and cleaning up, you and Taeyong found yourselves in the middle of the bed tipsy and incredibly clingy with each other. “Wow you changed the bed sheets” you noticed and gave him a wink, “very gentleman of you” he giggled as he lay beside you.

The weather is gloomy like yesterday, but what happened yesterday seems to be  erased already. The gloomy weather made the room blue, cold and comfortable. Taeyong’s arms are around you enjoying the warmth you share “I love days like this” he whispers, “You’re my escape from everything that’s happening in my life now. It’s like when you look inside my brain everything seems to be loud and out of order, but there you are calm and just being you” he sniffs your hair, pulled you closer and kissed you deeply as always. “Is this why you changed the sheets?” you playfully asked, he hovers on top of you slowly removing your shirt and tugging down your pyjama “Mhmm”

The cold weather and the low temperature of the air condition made you shiver both. Skin to skin, lips to lips and hands all over each other’s body. Taeyong is never rough with you when it comes to sex, it’s always passionate sex with him. But as gentle as he is during sex, he can’t get enough of you and one round isn’t enough for him. Sometimes you can only cry whenever he ask for you to cum one last time… after having seven already.

“How many rounds can you give me tonight?” Taeyong asks in between open mouth kisses, you noticed he’s hungrier than usual. Then you remembered, you haven’t had sex for the last three weeks for sure he’ll never go easy on you. You clear your throat before answering his question, “Five?” he scoffed. “How about ten? Five in my fingers and mouth and five more with my cock inside you and vibrator on your clit, hmm?” he spreads your legs without waiting for your answer, assuming that you’re fine with his plan already. “Hold my hand, squeeze it so I know I’m making you feel good okay?” you nod with a smile, you’re already turning red because of the building heat up on your body.

Holding both of his hands as he goes down to your sex, he licks your cunt slowly from the bottom to your clit. Making you moan softly and your legs quiver, “Tae-“ you sound like you’re out of breath as you chant his name over and over again. Squeezing his hand from time to time whenever he hits a good spot, spreading your legs even wider to make it feel good even more and grinding your hips to his tongue as he licks your cunt with a steady pace. “Ooh - Mmm, right there Taeyong yeah” you moan louder than earlier and you start breathing heavily. Closing your legs a bit and squeezing Taeyong in between your legs, you cum for the first time tonight.

Taeyong didn’t expect you’d cum so fast already “Still okay?” he asks as he crashes his lips on the valley of your breast all the way up to your lips, tasting a bit of yourself. You encircle your arms around him, keeping him closer to your body still weak from your first orgasm. “What, you want me to fuck you already?” he let out a sweet laugh before looking straight into your eyes. You nod.

As he rolls the condom to his cock, you’re quick to spread your legs for him. “Oh so now you’re spreading your legs for me after squeezing me earlier?” the vibrations of his giggle tickles you as he kiss you before lining his cock to your cunt. He didn’t stopped kissing you even when he’s already balls deep inside you.

“Tae let me breath” you asked of him. As you catch your breath for second, he rolled his hips a little which made you moan and roll your head back, “Sorry, I crave for you baby” he apologise with heavy breaths, hips still rolling slowly, cock stretching your cunt.

You encircle your arms around his neck pulling him closer again, “Come on Tae” you lick his lips, “I owe you nine more rounds” his pace changed a little bit faster, “Can I be rough tonight?” he grabbed you waist a little too harsh it surprised you. He gave you hard thrust that hurts so bad but it it feels good at the same time you arched your body and cum for the second time tonight. Taeyong was the first one to come down from his high and licks your nipples while cradling your arched body, watching you breath heavily and smile as you go down from your high. “Fuck Tae, I didn’t know you had it in you” he’s still licking and biting your boobs while waiting for your body to stop shivering like crazy. “Told you I crave for you tonight” and he slaps your ass and flips you on the mattress.

After that night, the following days were sweeter than ever and the sex became rougher, “no more vanilla sex” Taeyong says. Every night, you both look forward to seeing each other after a long day at work and finally releasing stress in bed together. You like to think that having rough sex every time made Taeyong even sweeter to you. Not that he’s not sweeter before, it’s just that now Taeyong is even more sweeter.

Last night when he’s in the middle of choking you while fucking you on the edge of the bed, he told you “You’re so beautiful, never leave me” and that damn made you blush you almost explode.

This morning, he wanted to skip work just to cuddle with you for the rest of the day. Even though he has multiple schedules today, he has studio work, dance practice and salon appointment. “Taeyong we could cuddle when you we get home” he whines and hovers his legs over yours, locking you in an embrace. “Five more minutes then, kiss me please” and you kissed his pout away.

The following night, he gave you a nice massage not just your feet this time, but your whole sore body. “Ugh baby, that feels good! Where did you learn all this” you mumble while you’re on your stomach, eyes closed and enjoying Taeyong’s massaging skills. “This is how they massage us whenever we have sore bodies during our concert tour” he answers, gliding his hands at your back putting a little bit of pressure.

OFF

One night, you came home from ballet practice really exhausted, tired and sore you can’t even move properly. You decided to sleep early and have a long rest but you forgot to tell Taeyong. Deep in your sleep already, you didn’t notice him when he arrived. Although you felt the bed move and you can smell Taeyong’s familiar scent, you didn’t quite catch what hes doing though. A few minutes later you felt a sting on your nipples only to find out that Taeyong is lapping on your boobs, your sleep wear rolled up to your neck.

“Baby - stop please you’re hurting me” Taeyong immediately stopped and rolled down your top, “I’m sorry - what’s wrong?” he came closer to you with a slight panic you.

“Please stop” your tone was a little bit angry but deep inside you’re not, you’re just tired.  He didn’t say a word or do something after that.

Sometimes Taeyong can overthink too much. He’s a soft man on the inside so he can get really hurt with only a few words. He overthinks too much that he already thought you’re getting tired with him, that you don’t love him anymore. He wanted to wake you up and talk to you but he’s scared you’ll get mad like earlier.

Scared to have a fight with you or even a small argument, Taeyong always leaves for work just before you wake up. The come back is getting near and he’s been pouring all his time and energy to his schedules.

You: Taeyong, you left again without saying good bye? That’s not normal, are you okay?

All you can do is send him messages before he buries himself in dance practice and also trying to reach out through phone calls but it never last longer than three minutes. It’s been days since he’s not paying attention to you and you’re starting to think that asking for attention is inappropriate at a time like this.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” you hugged him as he lay in bed beside you, tired and pissed because their manager is being a bitch during practice earlier. He doesn’t say a word to you. But you wanted to reach out and it seems like you both could need a talk.

“Tae-“ he cuts you off, even before you could even start.

“It’s not fair that you can get some rest whenever you demand it, I cant. I have an early schedule tomorrow. I’m tired, good night” and faces away to you.

That was the answer to all of your questions. He’s tired and you’re his greedy girlfriend who want his attention always. You constantly blame yourself why Taeyong is acting this way to you. Of course it’s a misunderstanding, but nonetheless it still hurts.

The both of you gone cold for a whole month, Taeyong needed to stay at the dorms and you’re left at the apartment alone. It’s not that the relationship was over and he left you alone, but that’s exactly what you feel. You’re lucky if you could get a phone call from Taeyong once a week but all you get is good morning and good night messages. It feels like your relationship with Taeyong became an imaginary relationship, like the one you used to have with Zac Efron during High School Musical.

Suddenly the apartment that you shared with him feels so big for you and you feel so lonely every night. He’s not your Taeyong anymore and this went on for almost three months, you couldn’t believe what’s happening. All you know is they’re promoting two albums back to back and that their schedules are jam-packed. You need to understand and adjust.

You have your own life you can’t stop living your life just because Taeyong is not with you at the moment. Theres an up coming audition for the main part of this year’s season, and you want to focus on perfecting your audition piece and give it your hundred percent. Which is much easier if Taeyong is here supporting you.    

Asking for a breakup and moving out from the apartment is something that will not make the situation easier. So you decided to get on with your life for the mean time, and break up with Taeyong after his busy schedules.

ON

After their two come backs which are both successful, Taeyong of coarse came back to your life. Although this time you’re the one preparing for something big now still, he tries to make it up to you. You on the other hand, is tired of being lonely and sad you just miss Taeyong’s touch and presence in your life. The break up plan was long gone the moment Taeyong showed up on the exact date of your auditions. You decided to give it another shot.

He waited for the auditions to finish and brought you a bouquet of flowers, he has dark blue hair now and you almost didn’t recognise him from afar. “Aw, Taeyong you didn’t have to” you hugged him and received the beautiful flowers, “It’s a congratulations and I’m sorry bouquet” he says shyly. You know exactly what he’s talking about. It feels so good to be coming home with him again, the apartment suddenly gain back it’s normal joyous vibe now that Taeyong is home.

Now that everything seems normal again, the bed is not cold anymore. You’re laying in bed between his legs, your back feels comfortable against his chest “I promise to never leave you again like that” you almost teared up because of what he just said but you’re tired of crying already. All you wanted to do now is be close to Taeyong, make up for lost time, and kiss him. So you did, you turned your back and faced him. Gave him a peck, just a peck and went back to your previous comfortable position.

“Really? Just a peck?” he tickled your sides until hes kneeling on the bed and you’re out of breath from laughing so hard, trying to make him stop by catching his hands. “Okay! Fine!” you’re both still giggling, “Few seconds, wait let me catch my breath first” he tickled you again but this time it’s your feet, you scream so loud and laughed so hard your tummy hurts.

The moment Taeyong stopped because he got tired, you came over to him and kissed him passionately. It felt like your first kiss with him, you’re sure fireworks were lit up the sky the moment your lips touched and your tongue swipes on his bottom lip. “Happy?” you whispered. He goes back to kissing you deeply as he answers no, I will never get enough of you. His lips go down to your covered breast from the layers of your shirt and bra, gently kneading them and hesitating to continue what he wants to do.

“What’s wrong?” you noticed somethings bothering him.

“The last time I removed your shirt, you got mad” he smiled awkwardly and stopped what he’s doing. Now you’re on his lap, needy and wet. He can’t do this to you, no, not tonight. You removed your shirt with a swift move and unclasping your bra throwing it somewhere. “Since when are you allowed to be shy around me, Taeyong? I’m yours remember?” you felt him nod and you felt his bright smile in between hungry kisses and removing each other’s clothes.

“Want to ride me tonight?” he slaps your ass while slowly laying you both back in bed and hovers on top of you.

“How many rounds do you want tonight?” you quickly made the switch to answer his question.

“As many you want” that’s new, you thought. He never made you in control before and you don’t know why you’re blushing in front of him right now. He giggles and put your hair away from your face, “What? Why are you blushing?”

You point around at his face and ruffled his hair, “this is not normal. What have you done to my Taeyong?” he tried to tickle your side again but you caught his hand and intertwined it with yours and put them on your lap making him behave.

“I just figured, I never let you do what you want when we have sex. I’m always the one tiring you and shit” he breaths in, and breaths out sharply, “Even in our relationship, I’m always the one making you sad and exhausting you-“ you kiss him before he says something that will make you cry and completely kill the vibe.

“How about we fuck without condoms tonight, hmm? You like that?” you suggest with a devilish grin, confident because you started taking pills.

“Wow-  that would really -“ he can’t form his sentence well, “I am, huh - you sure about this? pull out?” you kissed him again made him grab your boobs, “pill” you grabbed his cock without warning and pumped it a few times, he let out a loud groan when he felt his head slowly pushing in your cunt. His rambling from earlier were replaced with loud moans and sharp gasps whenever you roll your hips a little faster.  

“It feels like were having sex for the first time again, yeah?” you can only nod, busy from making Taeyong feel good beneath you and using his cock to go off.

The night became warmer for the both of you after sharing the experience of your first time having sex without a condom. Taeyong freaked out when he saw his cum drip from your cunt for the first time and it made him horny just minutes after he came inside you for the first time. “Let’s go another round babe” he asks so sweetly every after round you finish. His stamina always amazes you.

And for the first time after for so many months, you felt that his ‘i love yous’ are true and sincere. It feels like he’s saying it for the first time again.  

“I love you and I’m sorry for leaving you”

“I love you, please let me in your life again”

“I love you, you’re the one for me”

“I love you please forgive me”

The next day, a text message woke you up really early. It’s the results of the audition from yesterday and sadly you didn’t get the part you auditioned for. The part you got was decent, but it hurt you knowing that you’re not enough for the part that you’ve wanting do ever since when you’re a little girl.

Your silent cry and muffled sobs woke up Taeyong up with a slight panic. “Fuck - are you hurt? Does anything hurt?” he thought you were crying because of last night. You shook your head and showed him the results.

Taeyong is quick to put you in his arms and comfort you. It’s everything you needed. “I want you to acknowledge your skills, you’ve gone so far and you did it by yourself take credit for that” he runs his delicate fingers through your sex hair from last night. “I’ll be with you all throughout the process. Please stop crying, I hate seeing you cry”

Of course Taeyong took care of you like you’re one of his members. Gave insightful comments every time you show him a video of you from practice. He gave out helpful criticism that made you want to push more and work even harder.

On days that you just need your boyfriend and you’re so tired from dancing, he will always sing for you and make you laugh until you feel better. He even showers with you whenever you’re too sore to even scrub your own body.

“Taeyong,” he hums while massaging your feet from the other side of the bath tub. “Thank you”

“What for?” he asked kissing your feet before taking the other one.

“I just want to thank you. I feel like I haven’t been thanking you enough for everything you’re doing for me” you’ve never felt so shy in front of Taeyong. He crawls in between your legs, giving your lips a quick peck and going back to his comfortable side.

“I’m your boyfriend, it’s my job to take care of your sexy ass” he tickled your feet and you let out a soft, “aw” because your muscles ache whenever you move too much. “I’m sorry, I forgot, I’ll get your towel” you laugh at how he panics.

OFF

The most awaited ballet season of the year is during Christmas and you’ve been working your ass off during ballet practice. Two months have passed during the preparation and in two weeks time the performance will take place. All you wanted to do is dance and be perfect. You’ve got thinner because of the company diet but somehow you felt weaker so you overthink and practice more.

Not to mention that you and Taeyong were fighting like crazy these past few days because he can’t get a hold of you. He thinks you’re overworking yourself and soon you’re going to hurt yourself if you don’t rest sooner or later. It’s not that he’s wrong, actually he’s right in so many things. But he can’t understand the pressure you’re in, your constant want to prove your company director that you have something special and that you’ve improved a lot.

“If you get hurt before the big day, that’s a bigger loss. Everyone from your company is taking a rest on weekends, I know because were on the same field. Baby please listen to me, rest and come to bed with me” Taeyong begs.

“You don’t understand what Im going through Taeyong because you’re perfect! You’re your company’s favorite idol how can you understand what I’m going through” you probably hurt him with all those words but you’re just angry, annoyed and frustrated all at the same time you couldn’t stop yourself.

“I just wanted take care of you, that’s all” and he leaves your studio without another word. You only got mad to yourself even more for being so harsh to Taeyong. Admitting that you’re wrong you weakly removed your shoes and contemplate for some time.

Later that night, you found Taeyong sleeping on the couch without any blanket and you can tell that he’s cold. You walked quietly to your shared room and grabbed the blanket that you two always share. Slowly and gently, you snuggle beside Taeyong on the couch laying comfotable beside him. His arms automatically pulled you in closer to him, you can’t believe the patience this man holds.

“You awake?” you whisper softly, trying to stop your tears from falling.

“I already forgive you” he already knew that you’re going to apologise.

“Then what are you here? Why didn’t you wait for me in bed?”

“Hmm. Well, theres a possibility that you will still sulk - Mmaybe you don’t like to sleep beside me tonight. Didn’t expect for you to come here actually” he softly explains, eyes still closed.

“You’re right I dont like to sleep beside you tonight” he opened his eyes, but you laughed the moment you saw how his face turned from soft to stern. “Oh your duality always amazes me” you boops his nose, “I’m just kidding. Come on lets come to bed-“ you were just about to stand up but he pulled you close again and kept you close.

“Lets sleep here for a change” he boops your nose and kissed you good night.

You woke up with a sore body because the couch wasn’t so comfortable for two people to sleep in for the whole night. It’s 8am already and you only got half an hour to get ready and head to practice.

When you came in late, you got additional three hour practice as your punishment today. Taeyong will surely get mad when you get home. Besides being late today, you also forgot to put on bandaids from the bruises you got from last night and now your feet will surely bleed.

At the end of the day, you’re right Taeyong did got mad because of the extra practice hours. You were so tired you didn’t even spare a word for him and head straight to your shared room to sleep. You didn’t even bother changing clothes and just closed your eyes and drifted.

Thankful that the next day is rest day, you woke up with clean clothes and tended bruises. He came in with a breakfast tray careful not to spill the coffee, “Good morning superstar” he kissed your temple and sat on his side of the bed.

“Before you say anything, I’m sorry” he grabbed your hand and kissed your knuckles, “You were tired last night and all I did was shout at you when it’s my fault in the first place” he kissed it again and you were speechless the whole time, “We will never fight again, I promise”  

ON

The most awaited performance was great, Taeyong watched with Doyoung and they both cried seeing you dance on stage. Your heart is filled with emotions and you feel so accomplished because all of your hard work payed off well. The director noticed your big improvements and promised to give you more opportunities on the next season.

After this year’s ballet season, everything went back to normal with Taeyong. No more fights, and more room to talk to each other. More love making and less rough sex. Do new things with Taeyong every month including understanding the world of kpop.

It has been years since you kissed Taeyong for a stupid dare, and you’re still crazy in love with him.

Now you’re sitting on the tub, enjoying the warm water while you wait for Taeyong to come join you.  He came into the bathroom with his favorite scented candle already lit making the bathroom smell like apple and vanilla.

He turned off the bathroom lights before joining you, sitting behind you making you in between his long legs. He pulls you to lay on his chest and gently massage your fingers tired from working.

“What do you think about, Jade?” You feel the vibrations from his chest against your back when he answers you, “Not bad. But lets have other options” you hum longer than before, staring at the marble wall of your bathroom while drawing circles on Taeyong’s lap underwater. “Elie Ruby? We could call her Elie instead?” Your new suggestion made him laugh, and you smiled because he sounds so amused.

“Were not naming our baby after my dog. I love her but, my love for our baby is different” this time Taeyong is the one humming, wetting your hair and putting bubbles on top of your head. “How about I ask the boys tomorrow? Besides we don’t know if it’s a girl or a boy” You turned your back to face him with a smile.

“You’re finally going to tell them?” splashing some water out of of excitement.

“Yes. Now go back to your last position, I want you to relax” and so you did, still smiling like a fool you feel Taeyong caressing your tummy underwater humming a song you’re not familiar with. Maybe he wrote a song for the baby. That was fast, you’re only 2 weeks pregnant and Taeyong already has a song.

“Im sorry for not marrying you first” ah marriage, you thought. Since Taeyong is still in his prime for being an idol, you both planned not to get married yet even though you’re dying to say “I do” already.

You felt his hands creep up to your boobs his fingertips feels good against your nipples. “Close your eyes” he whispered and tingles spread across your body in an instant making your lips part and let out an involuntary moan.

Hearing just the sounds of his sweet kisses on your neck slowly travelling on your shoulders. What he’s doing now is indeed relaxing.

Still kissing your body, Taeyong whispers sweet promises that makes your heart at ease. “I will make you happy. Every second of the day” embracing you from behind, admiring how you fit perfectly between his legs. “Just have more patience baby. We will have a happy marriage”

You don’t know how exactly to react with everything he’s doing right now. Taeyong is providing you calm with his presence but making you horny with his hands around your body. When you finally opened your eyes, you turned your back facing him again. Now its your turn to kiss him and show him love.

While kissing him slowly with lust and adoration, you grab his hard cock underwater and stroke it up and down. Closing his eyes shut he pulls away from the kiss to let out a soft airy moan and relaxes his head on the cold marble wall. “Baby” he gulps, “Dont stop” taking this opportunity to kiss his exposed neck, you’re careful not to leave marks. His moans got louder when he said he’s near, and in a matter of seconds you see the tip of his cock underwater let out white fluids. “You’re always making me feel good, do you know that? I was really exhausted from practice today”

After washing up and having a proper bath, Taeyong was the one putting on lotion around your body. Spreading the Shea Butter scented lotion he gave to you and putting some on his body. Not bothering to put on some clothes, Taeyong brings you to your bed and kissed every inch of you. “Do you wanna have sex tonight?” He asked, lips all over your body and his fingers playing with your wet folds.

“Just make me cum then lets sleep. Were both tired from work baby. You need rest. Lots of rest” you heard him say a soft ‘okay’ before you feel his lips against your pussy. And without any warning, he insert a digit while he licks at your pussy from the bottom to your clit slowly. Making you close your legs but his freehand is quick to grab one of your leg and puts it right above his shoulders, giving him a better angle. Licking you in an animalistic pace, you cum on his face your pussy earning a good kiss from him. That made you smile.

When he finally lay beside you, you dried your juices on his face using a tissue from your bedside. “I thought you’re tired. That was good” you said still panting. He hums and you see his eyelids closing already. Yeah he’s tired. You pull up your soft covers making him comfortable hoping he will get a good night sleep.

After closing the lamp light and making yourself comfortable beside Taeyong, he murmurs a sweet “I love you and our angel” before pulling you closer to him and finally sleeping.

“We love you too.”

................................................. Masterlist

So as I’ve mentioned to my notes above, it’s inspire by true events. Yes I’m a dancer, at least I’m used to be. Not ballet though but I have knowledge about it. My ex is a dancer too, and basically we’ve been trying to make it work even though we both have busy schedules everyday. And that’s basically it, we’ve been on and off and off and on just like keshi said in the song,  “when we stop, we never stop” idk for me that phrase spoke to me like how you wanted so bad to leave in a relationship but you can’t because you always find excuses to be with each other until eventually someone stops caring. 

I’ve been thinking about on posting this though, because my recent Mark fic didn’t get any recognition at all... and its the first time thats happened so I wonder why. 

Thank you for reading!

[lantur]

notes for today,

I saw my doctor yesterday to discuss treatment options for ADHD. She recommended a low dose of Strattera, a non-stimulant medication, and suggested that I try it for two weeks to see how I do. I took my first dose this morning. I hope that it works for me and I don't have problematic side effects!

I don't know if it's the good weather in summer, the running outside, the running in general, or what, but I've been feeling extra extra inspired for writing lately. Both last week and this week, I've written pretty much every day, working on my oneshots. This happened last summer too. My inspiration was just through the roof! The downside is that I don't want to do anything besides write, lmao. (with the obvious exceptions of hanging out with Derek and Westin.)

I'm going to try listening to podcasts while I run. I normally listen to music, but I've been running 3-4 times a week for a year and a half now, and I can't tell you how many times I've made it through my running playlists, even when I add new music. I thought it might be nice to mix it up with what I listen to when I run. Derek listens to podcasts when he runs, and he said that I might not run as fast with a podcast or audiobook vs. music, because I listen to pretty high-tempo rap. I'm not specifically training for speed though, so that should be okay.

I ordered some summer dresses last weekend and I'm very excited for them to arrive :) I haven't bought new clothes for fun and not work in quite a long while!

[mizumelona]

set me up | atsumu x reader

SYNOPSIS: You’re an ambitious career woman, who’s got everything…except a significant other. Your mom, sick of you showing up to family functions alone, sets you up on a series of (terrible) blind dates. You make these dates meet you at your favorite restaurant, Onigiri Miya, but for some reason the owner’s jerk of a twin brother always happens to be there exactly when things crash and burn.

NOTE: Did I stay up too late writing this? Possibly. Was it worth it? Yes. This final arc was loosely inspired by some hc’s I requested from lin at @sugardaddykenma​, so this chapter and the next are dedicated to her. ily haha.

MASTERLIST

PREV | IS THIS A DATE? | NEXT

TAGLIST: @awkwardali6106​ @kasandrafaye​ @veggytaled​ @svtbitch​ @stinkyobeymerat​ @hollypastl​ @differentballooncollection​ @o51oc​ @sunboikyo00 @justxanotherxshipper​ @kaisemieita @rizamendoza808 @tomo-uwu​ @sugardaddykenma​ @celinafeng @ravioliplease​ @thatpersonwithissues​ @humanbobjeanpants​ @suteorra​ @jh-bee​

~

Outside Sendai Stadium. FRIDAY 9:05PM

Unlike her prickly personality, [y/n]’s hand was warm. Atsumu’s foul mood from losing the game had already blown over, but he didn’t feel like letting go and she hadn’t shaken him off either. Either she was really an airhead and hadn’t noticed or more likely she knew and didn’t mind. He brought his free hand up to his face to cover his smile.

He thought back to her failed dates. Knowing her personality, it wasn’t surprising that she was struggling in the romance department. This girl had the kinda ego that made an average guy retreat. But Atsumu Miya wasn’t an average guy. He admired the way she was hot-headed and shameless, and he’d be lying if he said the way she confidently took shots at him didn’t stir up some kind of feeling.

Atsumu chuckled.

“What’re you laughing at?”, she turned to him with that cute teasing look that suited her far more than any demure smile.

“Nothin’”

~

You looked up at Atsumu confused. He’d started laughing to himself out of the blue. What a weirdo.

Atsumu’s stomach rumbled.

You snickered. “Haven’t eaten yet?”

“Nah. Eatin’ before games doesn’t really work for me.”

You nodded in response. “Want to grab some food then?”

“Yeah. I’m starvin’. I know a really good curry restaurant near here. Wanna go?”

“Sounds good. Don’t tell Osamu, but I’m getting a little tired of onigiri.”

“Hah. No promises sweetheart.”

“Jeez. Can’t count on you for anything can I?”

“Well if you’re askin’ I guess I could make an exception. Oh, it’s this way.” Atsumu pulled you in the opposite direction you were headed down a sidewalk path that was warmly lit by street lamps. His grip was still firm in yours.

“Ah here it is”, Atsumu stopped in front of a little shop with a warm aroma wafting out through the open front door. You two walked in and found an open table. The waiter stopped by to take your orders before disappearing into the kitchen.

Suddenly, something occurred to you. Wasn’t this kind of like…a date? Your face got warm thinking about it.

Soon the waiter returned with two plates of steaming katsu curry. Atsumu must’ve been starving because he quickly shoveled down spoonful after spoonful without stopping to talk. So this is the post-game appetite of a pro-athlete. Lol, date my ass.

“Ahh, that was great”, he said as he scraped the last of the curry off the plate. He gulped down the last of his water and let out a satisfied sigh, before leaning on his hand and looking at you. “So, what d’ya wanna do sweetheart?”

“Mm?” You hummed mid-spoonful of curry.

“You seemed pretty confident when you called me out earlier. What didja have in mind?”, He had his signature devious look. So troublesome.

You gulped your food down. “You already look like you’re in a good mood to me.”

“You don’t know that.” He crossed his arms and put on a faux melancholy look. “C’mon I can tell you and I are alike when it comes to this kinda thing. A plateful of curry isn’t enough to live down our losses”

You scoffed. “Our losses?”

“Plus we’re already here. Might as well do something.”

He had a point.

“Well…what do you like to do to blow off steam?”

“Eat.”

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes.

“We just did that.”

“Play volleyball”

“Aren’t you tired of that for tonight?”

“No. Not at all”, His answer was matter-of-fact, like it was obvious. “I don’t think I could ever get sick of it.” He smiled. It was reminiscent of that childish grin he had when you saw him serve earlier.

You couldn’t help but smile back. “You must love it huh?”

“Nothin’ I love more.” His eyes were glimmering. His passion was almost tangible. You were taken aback.

“…I really respect that.” You shared your honest thoughts. Atsumu’s eyes went wide. He ruffled his hair.

“Woah. Two compliments from you? In one night? That’s unbelievable.”

“Hah.” You sighed. “I’m serious though. Having a passion. Madly chasing after it. That’s cool.”

“I dunno why you sound so amazed. Aren’t we the same when it comes to this kinda thing?”

You raised your eyebrows. “What makes you say that?”

He scoffed. “You’re tryna convince me that the workaholic chick that stays up all night designing shit and wins awards for her apps isn’t crazy passionate about what she does?”

It was your turn to be surprised. You’d been so fixated on how badly your love life had been going lately that you’d been letting it get to your confidence. But he was right. At the end of the day, you were one hardworking, passionate, badass bitch. You couldn’t hide your grin.

“Oh? Weak to compliments huh?”, He interrupted your thoughts.

“Shut up. I just didn’t expect to hear that from you”

The waiter came back with the check, which you and Atsumu split evenly. You both gathered your belongings and walked out the door.

“Wait a second”, Atsumu turned to you. “We never actually decided what we wanted to do.”

“Oh right”, You both stood awkwardly. You didn’t want to go home just yet, but you didn’t know what to do. You glanced around for ideas and spotted the glow of a vending machine in the distance. “Wanna grab a drink from the vending machine over there while we decide?”

“Sure.”, Atsumu said with a shrug. You both walked over to the vending machine and paused looking at the options. You spotted your favorite drink then started rummaging around in your bag looking for change.

“I can cover it”, Atsumu said and reached into his bag and pulled out a chubby froggy coin purse. It was surprisingly cute. He opened it up. “Whatcha want?”

“That’s a real cute coin purse. Not something that I’d expect you to have”

“Oh this?”, He held it up. “It was a birthday present from my granny”

“And you still carry it around? That’s even more cute.”

He rolled his eyes. “Ya gettin’ anythin’?”

“I’ll get a peach juice”

“One peach juice comin’ right up.” He dropped some coins into the machine and pressed two buttons. Your drinks fell down the chute with a clunk. He handed yours to you. You plopped down on a nearby bench and opened your drink with a satisfying pop. Atsumu sat down to join you.

You both sipped your drinks in silence, just looking out at the street. A few weeks ago, you never would’ve thought you’d be sitting here with Atsumu. You recalled the way you’d clashed at your first meeting, the spilled juice and the sweater on your second date, and the way he’d stuck around with you in the restaurant yesterday. You hadn’t known him for all that long, but somehow he was comfortable to be around. It was like you could be your greediest, nastiest, most shameless self and he wouldn’t look at you weird for it. Knowing Atsumu, he’d probably throw an even more shameless, petty comment back.

You turned to look at him. The glow of the vending machine illuminated his face, defining its contours. Again, it was like your stomach was filled with butterflies. Perhaps noticing your lingering gaze, Atsumu turned to look at you too.

“Thanks again”, A gentle smile formed on his lips. “Y’know, for coming to talk to me after the game.”

“No problem.” You shook your head. “I wasn’t lying when I said you looked cool tonight. Even if you didn’t win, I’d say you were pretty charming.”

He let out a playful chuckle. “Jeez if ya keep complimenting me like that I’m gonna fall for ya.”

You tossed your hair. “Like you aren’t already majorly crushing on me”

“How’d ya figure it out?”

You paused looking at him. He said it with his usual teasing tone, but why did he look sincere. Usually teasing him came easily, but right now you couldn’t think of any witty comeback. You tried to hit the breaks on the wave of butterflies rioting in your stomach, but couldn’t help but wonder. What if…

You had a thought. A stupid thought. A thought that you usually would’ve easily shot down. Maybe you were still sleep-deprived, maybe there was something in the curry, maybe the way he was looking at you was getting to you. You turned to Atsumu.

“Hey, Atsumu. I have a crazy idea.”

“Oh? What is it?”, he cocked his head to the side. It was absolutely unfair how handsome he looked while doing it.

You focused your last sane brain cell in trying to sound clever. “So…You’re petty. I’m petty. Wanna do something petty together?”

“Interestin’” He smirked. “What didja have in mind?”

This was a stupid idea. You couldn’t believe you were suggesting it. He was looking at you expectantly. It was too late to back out now.

“I have a family brunch with that shitty cousin I told you about next Sunday. What do you think of coming as my plus one to flex on him?”

“Oh-“

“Just for that day, could you pretend to be my boyfriend?”, You quickly clarified. 

You weren’t sure what his feelings were. You weren’t even sure about what yours were, and even if you did you weren’t about to ask him to a family brunch on your first date. You just thought that if it was with Atsumu, maybe doing something stupid and petty like this might be fun.

His initial look of shock quickly devolved into a sly grin.

“A Fake date huh? Leave it to you to come up with somethin’ like that.” He shook his head. “What’s in it for me?”

“You get a chance to be shamelessly petty without consequence. Do you need anything more than that?”

“You’re gonna have to spice up the deal sweetheart”

“Ugh I know it’s kinda crazy if you don’t want to do it nevermin-“

“Woah woah. I never said I wasn’t interested. ” He held up his hands. “Fine it’s a deal, but if you’re askin’ for my help we aren’t half assin’ it”

A devious toothy grin spread across his face. Oof. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all.

“I don’t like that look”

“First of all”, He held up a finger. “I’ll drive you there.”

That’s all? You let out a sigh of relief. “That wasn’t as bad as I was expectin-“

“Second of all”, he cut you off, “all PDA is fair game”,

You scoffed. “Excuse me? It’s a family function!”

“Do ya wanna put on a convincing act or what?”

“…fine”, You mumbled. “But kisses are off-limits!”

“What! Ya hafta gimme somethin’ to work with here”

This boy was really pushing his luck. He did have a point though. You thought about it for a second.

“Fine. Forehead and cheek kisses are okay” You yielded. “I’m not compromising beyond that though.”

“Okay that works, but if you wanna have a lil more of this just lemme know sweetheart”, he said with a wink.

“Keep dreaming lemon boy”, You stuck out your tongue. Atsumu frowned at the nickname.

“Again with the nicknames…actually, speakin’ of nicknames don’t ya think we should have some cute pet names for each other”

“Don’t you dare call me babe”

He took up a thinking position with his hand on his chin. “Honey? Sweetie?”, he tested a few out. Something about it felt weird like you’d convince yourself it wasn’t an act if he kept calling you that. That wouldn’t be good.

“Just call me sweetheart like you usually do”, you suggested.

“Oho has it grown on ya?”, he raised an eyebrow.

“What if it has?”

Atsumu’s witty comeback was stopped in its tracks. A pink haze appeared across his cheeks.

“Jeez what’s with you today?”, he said with a chuckle.

“You started it first.” You replied. “Also you aren’t the only one with ideas for this thing. I’m the one who’s had to put up with this shit for who knows how many years now.” Your mouth twisted into a sly smile.

“You sure can be scary sometimes sweetheart…I like it. So what are ya thinking?”

“So I here’s the plan…”

~

You two spent a solid hour talking through your plan before Atsumu finally drove you home. As you gathered your things to walk into the apartment complex, Atsumu turned to you.

“Hey. Today was a lotta fun. Let’s do it again sometime. Except next time I won’t lose.”

“Okay. Okay. Thanks again for the ride. See you later.”

You went upstairs and started your bedtime routine. Your phone buzzed as you got into bed. You picked it up and smiled as you saw the message.

Lemon Boy:

Did you make it up safely?

Shameless Wench:

Yeah. Gonna go to bed now.

Lemon Boy:

Okay. Good night y/n.

~

Your Apartment. SUNDAY 9:36AM.

Your doorbell rang.

“One second!”, you shouted, putting the finishing touches on your makeup. You ran over and pulled the door open. Atsumu leaned on the doorframe with a smirk.

“Let’s do this thing sweetheart”

[dream-a-little-bigger-x]

Chapter 2 -- Perfect Harmony | Charlie Gillespie

Summary: Emily Fox is a talented 17-year-old with a passion for all things music. Her dream is to become a successful singer-songwriter one day. But to achieve that dream, she needs to get into one of the most prestigious music schools in her district – it’s all been part of her plan since she was six. Sadly enough, those schools cost a ton of money that her parents don’t want to invest. They don’t even want her to pursue her dream. So, now Emily’s hustling, working at the music store to save up to get into college. That’s until she meets Charlie, an annoying seventeen-year-old boy with the same dream as her. The only difference is, he’s just doing it. He doesn’t need a fancy college to pursue his dream to become famous with his band. He just writes his songs and books small gigs here, there and everywhere. Will meeting Charlie defer her from her dream college, or will he actually help her achieve the dream?

Pairing: Charlie Gillespie x OC (Emily Fox)

Warnings: mentions of death, sexual assault

Important note: the characters of Charlie, Owen, Jeremy and Madison are based on the characters they play on the show and i do not own their names, only OC are mine. The songs aren’t mine either, they’re all from the show except for one.

Chapter Two 

~|Emily Fox|~

Tuesday mornings are somehow the worst. I don’t know if it’s because I spent too long at the Music Store cleaning up and trying to forget about the cute guy with the pretty eyes, or if it’s because the weekend is so freaking far, although closer than it was yesterday. “Hey, Muffin, time to get up. You got to get to school,” Uncle Mitch’s voice wakes me up that morning a second before my alarm goes off. I hate him for always coming in to wake me when I’ve got my alarm set for 7. “Thanks, Uncle Mitch. I’ll be down in a couple minutes,” I tell him with one eye open. “Promise me?” I open my other eye too, only to find him looking at me with that worried look in his eyes. The one that he always has when he thinks I’m nearing rock bottom again. “Promise,” I reply and wink at him to reassure him I’m fine. “Can you go downstairs and make me some coffee, please?” He nods his head curtly and turns on his heel to leave my bedroom, so I can get ready and he can go make some coffee. Throwing my blankets off me, I turn on some music and start getting ready whilst jamming to all the tunes in my music library. It takes me about fifteen minutes until I’m dancing down to the kitchen where Uncle Mitch hands me a coffee and an already buttered toast. “I’m glad to see you dancing again,” he tells me with a smile before sipping from his own coffee. There’s a small smile tugging at his lips, showing his pride a little. “Have you been writing again too?” I shake my head in response. “I mean, I do have like a small verse and a chorus for a song, but I’m really stuck.” Mitch presses his lips together into a somewhat sympathetic smile. I shrug. “I’m sure it’ll come back at some point. Who knows where I’ll get some inspiration.” I finish my toast and coffee quickly, kiss Uncle Mitch on the cheek before grabbing my backpack and heading out the door to school where I meet up with Madison. “Hey Hot Mama!” her voice chimes through the hallway as I’m at my locker unpacking and packing books. “Hey, Chica!” I greet back. “How was work yesterday? Haven’t heard from you at all.” I close my locker, shoulder my backpack and follow her down the hall to our first class of today. “Locked up pretty late last night. Had some of the worst customers ever. First a Karen thinking she knew more about bass guitars than me. Then this dude that thought he was just so slick. It was disgusting. Such a douchebag.” “I sometimes wonder why you still work there,” she shakes her head disapprovingly. “Because I need to pay tuition for the college I want to go to, Mads. Not everyone can get a scholarship.” Madison has received a scholarship from her number one college she’d wanted to go to since she was ten. Mostly because her parents want her to go there, but it’s been planted in her brain ever since then and it hasn’t changed. Especially not when she’d received the message she was going to be able to go on a scholarship. “I know, Ems,” she rolls her eyes at me, knowing how lucky she is, “But I mean, you still could work somewhere else?” I halt in the middle of the hallway, causing another student who was walking behind me to bump into me. I mutter a sorry before turning back to Madison. “There’s nothing I’m better at or feel more at ease than between music instruments, Mads. You of all people should know that.” She tuts then nods her head in agreement. “I know, I know…” she links her arm with mine, “But still… You could have a different job if you wanted to.” She wiggles her eyebrows and I know exactly what she means. However, I don’t answer because as much as I know what she means, she knows my answer without me having to say anything. And that’s how we leave things before going to class. Madison is a sweetheart. We’ve known each other since Kindergarten and there’s no one else I’d rather spill all my secrets to or giggle uncontrollably with when Uncle Mitch says something weird or the Queen Bee, Brianna, says something incredibly dumb. She’s been my rock with Uncle Robert’s death, telling her mother to send me and Uncle Mitch food when we didn’t feel like cooking. She’s listened to my endless rants about Karens and douchebags at the shop, and my heart-wrecking cries when Jake broke up with me last year. Not only that, she believes I can do anything I set my mind to, especially become a successful singer-songwriter. Madison is the only person on this planet I truly need. Madison, Uncle Mitch and Uncle Robert, were he still alive. Nothing more, nothing less. With all of that running through my mind – along with the cute douchebag from the Music Store – I don’t even notice where I’m walking until I’m bumping right into someone. “Oof! Sorry! I—” When I look up, I realize I don’t even want to apologize. I’ve apologized to him more than once and for all the wrong reasons. “Jake.” My apologetic expression changes to a what I hope would be a scowl. Although, let’s be honest, when bumping into an ex-boyfriend you used to love with all your heart, your broken heart still does a little leap. “Emily, hey!” he greets and a smile shines through. I’m not going to lie, I kind of missed that smile. Who wouldn’t miss those perfect plump lips curling up into a perfect smile? Dammit, Emily Fox, focus. Remember this boy broke your heart into a thousand more pieces when it was already broken. “What do you want?” I ask bitterly. “Brianna and I are throwing a party at my place tonight, if you’d like to come…” he trails off at the end, scratching the back of his neck, knowing all-too-well I wouldn’t for any money of the world go to a party thrown by Brianna and Jake. I’d much rather die. “I have to work,” I tell him simply, which is not a lie. Ash asked to close tonight. “Oh, okay…” he trails off again. “Anything else?” I raise an eyebrow at him, hoping, praying, wishing, I can get out of this situation as soon as possible. He opens his mouth to say something, and I nearly want to punch it close, but I refrain from doing so, especially when he closes his mouth again. “No, I’m sorry for bothering you…” He looks more regretful than he did when he broke up with me. “Uhm… I’ll see you around, I guess.” “Yeah,” I simply say and watch him as he walks away from me. There’s nothing I hate more than seeing Jake in the hallway. It’s just another painful reminder of what we were and were not. Just another painful reminder of the worst year of my life thus far.

After school, Madison and I head to the Music Store together. She needs to pick up some groceries from the store on the other side of the street, so she figured she’d walk me to work. While she talks the entire walk there, I keep thinking about Jake, but mostly about the cute douchebag from yesterday, wondering if he’d come back today. He did seem persistent. “See you tomorrow, Ems,” Madison says, waving at me as I enter the store. “See ya, Mads!” I shout back before closing the door behind me, the bell ringing overhead. “Thanks so much for closing up today, Emily,” Ash says first thing when she sees me. “Oh, that’s no problem.” “Just finish up with the last couple of customers and then sweep and sort the cash register.” I nod my head, understanding every single one of my task at hand today. While customers roam around the store, I grab my textbook English and finish up the exercise we’d started making in class, but none of us finished. Someone’ll ask me if they need me or ring the bell obnoxiously if they want to pay. “Hey, could you help me out with something?” I look up from my book to find a tall blonde guy in front of me. His hair falls in swoops, framing his face nicely. The kindest eyes I ever did see. He looks a bit nervous too, which makes me wonder why. “Sure, what can I help you with?” I move from behind the counter as he leads me towards the drum section. “I’m looking for drumsticks, but I can’t seem to find them…” he tells me, fidgeting with his jacket. I stare at him for a moment and blink a couple of times. “Oh, you won’t find them here, sweetie. They’re over there!” I point to another side of the store. “I’ll show you,” I beckon him with my finger and, with him in tow, make my way over to where we keep our drumsticks and other accessories for the music instruments. “Here they are!” I point to the racks filled with different kind of drumsticks. The boy scans the area and then picks out a pair he likes best. “Thank you,” he says with the sweetest smile. “So, you’re a drummer,” I state more than ask as we both make our way back to the cash register. “Yep, I’m in a band with my two best friends. Sunset Curve, we’ve been playing bars in Los Angeles for a while now, but don’t seem to be too lucky to find some sort of manager that could help us out, you know?” I make a mental note to check out Sunset Curve, and simply nod my head while putting his purchase into the register. “19 bucks please,” I tell him with a smile. “I hope luck is on your side soon…” I trail off, realizing I don’t know his name. “Owen,” he says as if reading my mind. He hands me the nineteen bucks in cash. “Emily,” I introduce myself, “Hey, if you want, our Music Store holds open mic nights on Saturdays, once a  month or something, if you ever want to bring your band down here? Music execs scout out here sometimes too.” Owen’s smile widens, making my heart swell with happiness. “Thanks, I’ll remember that.” He taps the counter once, then says, “And thanks for helping me find these.” He holds the drumsticks up so I can see. “You’re very welcome. I’ll see you around, Owen.” “Yeah, see you around, Emily.” He’s definitely gay. But the sweetest guy that’s ever walked into the Music Store in forever. He was so nervous and fidgety; it was kind of endearing. What a kind soul. I hope he gets what he’s wishing for.

It finally starts to slow down in The Music store around half past six, just before closing time. So, I begin to sort out the sheet music that’s been scattered around by musicians. I’d almost even forgotten about Cute Douchebag until the bell over the door rings and he’s walked in. I look up with a smile at first, thinking it’ll be the last paying customer of the day, wanting to greet them. But when I see him with his cute-ass beanie and his adorable brown eyes and his sweet smile, the smile falters.

“Make it quick, I’m about to close up.” I turn around to head to where the sheets are supposed to go. It’s silent for a moment until I hear him cough behind me.

“Can you ring these up for me, please?” he asks, handing me a pack of guitar picks. A little confused about his sudden change of behavior, I nod my head slowly and put them into the cash register.

“11 dollars 96, please.” Our eyes meet for a second when he gives me the money, and a jolt rushes through my entire body. I’ve never seen eyes so vivid and full of color. Everyone always says brown eyes are boring. But his. His aren’t. His are near gold.

Focus, Emily.

“Hey, would you mind if I played here for a while? My parents are kind of being jerks and I kind of have to escape, if you know what I mean…” he trails off near the end, our eye contact breaking as he casts his gaze to the floor.

“Uhm, yeah, sure. Just stay out of my way as I clean up.” He shoots me a thankful smile before scooting over to the guitars and picking out his favorite to play on. I need a moment to regain my composure before I can actually begin cleaning up.

And that’s how the Cute Douchebag and I spent our evening together. With his sweet melody flowing throughout the store as I clean up and count the money in the register.

“You done yet?” I ask him once I’ve grabbed my backpack and the keys to lock up. The boy looks up at me again with those golden eyes of his, making my knees feel weak. Why does he have this effect on me? This doesn’t make any sense. He should repulse me by the way he acted the other day, not make me feel weak in the knees. Nothing makes sense anymore.

“Uhm, sure yeah.” He gets up and puts the guitar back in its place before walking over to the door with me. “My name’s Charlie, by the way,” he tells me when he turns once he’s outside on the street.

“I don’t care,” I lie.

“I’m pretty sure you do, Emily.” Him knowing my name catches me off guard for a moment and not even just because it’s creepy that he knows it, but because it weirdly sounds good rolling off his lips.

“What makes you so sure of that, Charles?” I notice his full name – if that’s his full name – catches him off guard too. “That’s what I thought. Now, please, leave, so I can have a pleasant rest of the night.” He raises his eyebrow, seeing right through me. I know it. He knows it. But he still turns and leaves with that obnoxious beautiful smirk of his.

I hate that he makes me feel this way.

Taglist: @parkeret​

Lemme know if you want to be on my taglist for this story/any of my other works!

[lotusthekat]

Help is just around the corner (for us)

Fandom: Steven Universe

Rating: G

Relationships: Platonic Lars & Steven

Characters: Steven Quartz Universe, Lars Barriga, Lion; other characters are only mentioned

Summary: “Hey, it’s not a big deal. I’ve been through worse,” Steven insists.

“Dude, you’ve been wincing the entire time, don’t tell me it’s not a big deal,” Lars mocks, annoyed.

Steven can’t help shivering inside - both at Lars’ observation and his tone. He’s seen Lars angry, of course… but never because of this.

--

Sometimes, Steven's healing powers don't quite work, but it's nothing he hasn't dealt with before. Yet Lars is... surprisingly upset about it.

Word count: 2.226

AO3 / Fanfiction

A/N: Don’t mind me writing self-indulgent stuff for my boys in the very year of 2021 *peace sign*

Half inspired by loubuttons’ “Rare and Sweet As Cherry Wine” and a comment on another Lars & Steven fic, Novantinuum’s “The Brother on the Other Side”. Both are great fics and they’re on AO3 :)

Title is from Help Is Round the Corner by Coldplay.

TRIGGER WARNINGS - past bullying/abuse, major character injury, flashback and trauma

--

“Hold on – what the heck is that?”

The outraged question was so far from expected, that Steven almost drops the bowl he was supposed to grab. The boy wonders if there’s something wrong with the bowl, until he realizes that Lars’ eyes are glued to his arm. His pink sleeve has fallen off, revealing the wound from earlier.

“Oh, I- I got in a gem fight earlier, but it’s nothing really!” Steven reassures him, “My healing powers will take care of it… eventually,” he then doesn’t sound as confident, admittedly.

Immediately after, Lars grabs him to the nearest chair and rushes to find a first-aid kit somewhere in his house. When he returns, Lars is inspecting his arm with desperate focus.

“Hey, it’s not a big deal. I’ve been through worse,” Steven insists.

“Dude, you’ve been wincing the entire time, don’t tell me it’s not a big deal ,” Lars mocks, annoyed.

Steven can’t help shivering inside - both at Lars’ observation and his tone. He’s seen Lars angry, of course… but never because of this.

Basically, Steven got into a fight with a group of gems in outer space. He’s received plenty of reports of gems that turned against Homeworld’s new system – and Steven’s decisions specifically – yet he found out too late that a specific group was larger than he anticipated. There was no time to call for help when he was attacked mercilessly, but he called the Diamonds after it was over, at least.

His healing powers usually do most of the job for him after battles, but lately they haven’t been working as well as they should - even though Steven consistently watches over his hydration and health. He’s not sure what’s happening, but he believed he could figure it out for himself, so he hasn’t told the gems… yet.

Regardless, Lars works on soothing the wound as gently as possible, despite his serious frown. Steven struggles to swallow through the pain, though it eventually gets better once Lars is almost finished.

“Are there any other injuries you’re hiding?” The pink boy demands.

Steven shakes his head. Lars then begins bandaging the former’s arm, and it’s definitely better now that it’s not burning… yet Steven can’t help raising an eyebrow at his friend’s behavior.

“Hey, don’t be mad,” Steven tries to tell him.

It’s no use in saying that, because Lars promptly and angrily ignores Steven as he insists on bandaging his arm.

“Lars,” the younger boy tries again, “I’m okay, you don’t need to–”

“Except I do, because you’re a knucklehead .”

Steven blinks and frowns, affirming, “I can take care of myself.”

Lars simply stares at him with an unamused look.

“What? It’s true!” Steven exclaims in defense. “You don’t believe me?”

As a response, Lars shakes his head in disapproval and looks away. Before the other thinks through it, Steven’s voice raises, “Fine, it’s not like everyone else takes me seriously!”

The older boy’s eyes widen. “Wait, Steven, that’s not what I meant–”

“Oh, really? Because I’m tired of everyone treating me like a baby!” Steven steams. “I’m sixteen now! I saved the entire galaxy! What else do I have to do for you to realize I grew up?!”

“That’s exactly the problem, Steven!” Lars argues. “You can’t keep doing everything alone because you think you have to!”

“What do you know? You’re not a Diamond!”

“But I know you’re still a kid and you deserve help!”

“I’m not a kid, and I didn’t ask for your help!” Steven pushes his hand away, harshly.

Instead of yelling more, however, the look on Lars’ face disperses Steven’s anger. He looks… hurt. Really hurt, like those particular words left a wound on him. Steven’s heart drops in regret.

“Lars… I…”

The other boy looks away and mentions nothing for dragging minutes. Steven doesn’t know what to say, because what he feels is true, but he didn’t mean to sound so ungrateful, either. This is why he’s never confronted anyone.

When Steven senses a hand hesitantly reaching his, he almost flinches.

“I think you should go rest, at least,” Lars suggests, not demanding like before; yet his voice is awfully quiet. “We don’t want you getting worse, right?”

Steven would have protested but he genuinely doesn’t know what to say to make up for it.

“... Right.”

Lars nods in silence. “Do you want to go home?”

Maybe he shouldn’t, Steven considers. He should really apologize to Lars; he’s not one to run away from his mistakes.

“Yeah… okay,” The sixteen-year-old replies.

There’s no other argument. Steven gazes at his bright, messy pink hair that covers his friend’s eyes. Sighing, Steven enters the pink, hairy dimension and arrives home in no time. When there, he greets Lion taking over his bed. This time, the half-gem doesn’t tell him to get off.

Lion’s gaze already tells him the big cat is looking through him as usual. Steven knows Lion can’t talk, but it’s not like there’s anyone else.

“I shouldn’t have been so hard on Lars,” Steven admits. “I know he cares, it’s just…” he pauses once remembering Lars’ look from earlier.

It hurt, but not only because Steven was rude. There was something else about it, too. It was a different kind of hurt. A pain so ingrained, so deep that words might not be able to describe it. And to think Steven brought this hurt to Lars…

“I don’t want to hurt anyone,” Steven whispers wetly. Right now, he doesn’t sound like he’s sixteen.

Lion snuggles against Steven to comfort him. The boy leans back on him, tears filling his eyes.

You’re still a kid and you deserve help!

(Does he?)

--

Honestly, it doesn’t look that bad.

He manages to sneak to the bathroom, after quickly replying to the usual “how was school today?”. His parents don’t really check in on him – though he doesn’t know if he’d want them to.

Because Lars knows he’s just a stupid, whiny kid. He cries too easily, he yells a lot and gets pathetically hurt too often. Who would want to help him? His teachers certainly don’t. If he went to the nursery again, they would call his parents and he’d be exposed and punished. He’d be even more humiliated for having both of them baby him in front of everyone.

Lars locks himself in the bathroom, contemplating his dirty t-shirt, his scratched arms and the ugly purple smudging his face. Well, it’s nothing he hasn’t dealt with. He’s hidden some of his mom’s make-up to cover the worst of it, and the first-aid kit can be easily found. It’s far from perfect but it’s enough not to raise too many questions. As for the t-shirt, he could lie he was playing in the dirt and tripped. He’s said this for so long, they believe everything he says.

Problem is, he won’t stop crying.

He knows it’s his fault. Everyone tells him that. Lars has to deal with this alone. So what? This shouldn’t make him so emotional.

Yet his head hurts from crying too much, even more so than the purple in his cheek. The tears are burning hot, and all Lars wants is to hit something, yell, do anything because he wants so badly to give up .

… but he can’t. He shouldn’t.

Lars is twelve , for crying out loud. A teenager. School has never been easy. He should’ve learned at this point.

He can’t keep being lame.

He’s…

He’s a big boy now. It’s what his dad tells him.

Lars dries his tears with his arm, and glares determinedly at the mirror.

Yeah, he’s a big boy now. He doesn’t need coddling.

Lars will prove to everyone he can be cool and he will finally be accepted. Yeah, that’s right. He’ll get over it and be great.

(Lars tells no one, however, that he might still cry himself to sleep some nights.)

--

This time, Steven takes the longer path to Lars’ house – because he can think of something to tell him on the way. Today is cloudy, with high chances of raining. If anything, it makes him a little more uneasy.

Steven shouldn’t have left Lars alone yesterday, but at the same time he knew he couldn’t do much. He still hasn’t quite processed what Lars meant – that Steven deserved help, and the way Lars reacted to Steven’s outburst… he didn’t want to assume anything, so the half-gem figures it wasn’t the right time to ask. Well, that’s what he’s telling himself. He can only hope Lars is okay.

When he gets to Lars’ home, Steven swallows the hardest lump he’s… ever swallowed. He has to do this, though. It’s the right thing to do, and he cares about Lars. He’s not going to run away.

… but then he notices Lars isn’t inside. No, he’s actually standing on the porch, gazing at seemingly nowhere in midst of the many other houses. He holds the same distant and pained gaze from yesterday. Steven takes a deep breath and heads on awkwardly. Lars doesn’t seem to notice him until Steven has already climbed the few stairs.

“Steven?” Lars greets him with relative shock.

The younger boy clears his throat. “Hey… are you, um, doing okay?”

Lars exhales, in what sounds to be exhaustion and… fondness. “Yeah. Yeah…” As soon as Steven rubs his arms, though, his reaction is quite another. “Does it still hurt?” he asks, eyes wide and worried.

“No, no! It’s fine now, I swear,” Steven tells the truth. Lars believes him and sighs.

“Right. Okay.”

They both look away.

“D… Do you mind if I…” Steven nervously gestures at the space beside him. Lars thankfully gets it as he nods.

Steven settles in close, almost enough for their arms to brush. He plays with his hands for quite a while, unsure how to begin. Lars lets out no words, either. He’s as quiet as the town today.

“Lars,” Steven tries, “I’m…” His eyes begin to twitch. He swallows again, “I’m really sorry, I shouldn’t have…”

“Don’t worry about it,” Lars speaks up, tone low. He pauses for a moment before saying, “I shouldn’t have called you a knucklehead.”

“No, you’re right! I am a knucklehead. I always take up a lot more than I can. It’s…” He sighs as he rubs the back of his neck, unsure if he should go on. “Everyone always expects me to do all these- these things, because if I don’t…” Steven swallows, “I feel like I won’t be worth it. I fear everyone’s going to pay for what I do wrong.”

He senses Lars staring back at him, maybe in shock over how strong these words are. Steven has never quite admitted it to anyone else, and never so clearly to himself.

“And I didn’t expect you to be upset, either,” the half-gem continues. “Like, it’s become so normal to me that I feel like I’ve convinced everyone not to worry about me. So, they don’t. I don’t get many questions and then I’m…”– he clenches his fist –“I’m alone.”

Steven leans on the porch, isolated raindrops hitting the wooden house. He smells the rain, the wet plants and flowers from afar. Some of the rain hits his face softly. The ambient noises are the only ones to speak at the moment. Despite the rain, everything seems so… clear.

Eventually, though, Lars is the one that approaches him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

“Listen, I… I get it,” Lars tells him. “Maybe not the ‘being a Diamond’ part, or the ‘savior of the galaxy’ part, but I get you have wounds you can’t show others. Even if you want to, even if you’re hurting badly”– his eyes fall upon Steven’s arm sadly –“you’re not ready to show them. You might not be ready to show in a long time, you don’t know.”

At this, he turns Steven around slightly to face him.

“I just want you to know, you can trust me with that stuff. You don’t need to hide your wounds from me,” Lars reassures him. “I might get upset, yeah… but I’d rather know than have no idea what’s going on with you. Because I care about you, Steven, and I can’t stand the thought of you hurt and me not being able to help.”

Steven won’t lie, he might cry right now. He hasn’t realized how badly he needed to hear this. That it’s okay to hurt. Because, being honest, he’s so tired. Nothing ever ends, and his happily ever after might never come.

“But, uh, you don’t have to come to me, if you don’t want to. I won’t judge. Just… know that I’m here for you, okay?” Lars adds. Right after, Steven replies with a jump hug, because he wants this. He does.

They hold one another while the rain goes on outside. Once it’s gotten worse, they go inside, and soon after Steven is wrapped up in a blanket and he’s glued to Lars on the couch.

It’s nice.

[another-sonic-blog]

The Fanfictioner

Synopsis: Amy Rose secretly writes fanfiction out of the not so famous 'Sonic Boom' show in which she and her friends are the main actors. Everything was fine, filming the show and then writing. However, everything changed when the famous actor, Shadow the Hedgehog, showed up to participate in the show. Just like Amy, Shadow hides a secret. He loves to read fanfiction but will never admit that out loud. Shadow one day stumbles upon Amy's fanfiction and without knowing, they develop a friendly bound over comments, likes and messages of support. On work, Shadow and Amy have a normal co-worker relationship that will never develop more than that. However, one night, they hang out together due to special circumstances.A few days later, Shadow starts to read the new fanfiction that his favorite author published. As he keeps reading, he is starting to realize this person was writing about something personal that happened between him and Amy. How did this author know with so much detail what happened between them?

I want to thank @jhojuju  for drawing content that inspired me to write this story! If you haven't done so already, you should check out the artist's art!

ShadAmy 6K500 (DRAFT)

The Fanfictioner

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The moon was above them and although it was a cold night, they didn't care. Sonic got closer to Amy, emeralds eyes shone brightly with love and desire. He caressed her as he softly placed his hands around her face, pulling her closer to him. Amy licked her lips as they begged to be touched by the blue blur. They have fought to be together for a long time and now nothing was stopping them. Finally, they could express and show their love to the world with no restrictions, with complete freedom. Sonic got closer to his lover, their lips just a few centimeters away and then-

"Amy, what are you writing?"

The pink hedgehog slammed shut her laptop as she mentally cursed herself for not being more delicate. Today was filming day but she promises her followers that she was going to update a new chapter of 'Falling Petals' by tonight. Of course, like the good fanfic writer that she was, she always kept her promises.

Amy shifted her body from the chair to look at the standing blue hedgehog behind her. She tried to hide the panic on her face but it seemed like this picked Sonic's interest even more.

"Um... my shopping list?" That came out more like a question than a statement. Once again, she cursed under her breath because although Sonic wasn't the smartest hedgehog out there, he wasn't dumb either.

"Then why are you acting so ... strange?"

Sonic had the sincerest of interest. He cared for the pink one and her recent actions had just baffled him. Recently Amy was acting quite strangely. Before Sonic was free to use her laptop whenever he wanted and now, she kept it to herself and hid it as her life depended on it. The blue bur knew that Amy likes to write from time to time but now? Sonic found her writing whenever he visited her at her house. She would be checking her phone constantly and even smiled as she typed on it. The thought had crossed his mind that maybe Amy was 'seeing' someone and the thought alone just made him pay more attention to her.

"Are you sure-"

"Everyone get on ready on set!"

Amy was saved by the show's director once again. She smiled awkwardly at her blue friend as she placed her laptop on her chair. She heard Sonic sigh in defeat and Amy felt a little bit bad that she made her friend and love interest worried. However, she just couldn't go to him and say 'Hey, I know I have been acting strange but it's because I am writing fanfiction of Sonic Boom and I don't want you to think I am weird.'

Amy greeted everyone as she stepped on set. The camera, lighting crew and just every who crossed her path. Of course, her friends were there as well looking as fresh as they could be. They were outdoors and currently they were filming Sonic Boom's most recent and most wanted episode 52 of season 1.

"Hey, guys! Amy greeted her friends, Sticks, Knuckles, and Tails as they waved their hands from right to left, Sonic followed from behind.

Amy's attention was focused on the red echidna who had sleepy eyes. This was very strange because Amy knew that Knuckles was one who appreciated his sleep especially because he always woke up early morning to go workout.

"Hey Knuckles, you alright?" Amy asked. "You look very sleepy.

Knuckles let out a yawn as he stretched his body. "I didn't sleep much I was binge reading this book I found online and-

"WHERE IN CHAOS IS SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG?" The director of the show screamed in desperation as everyone was ready to go but the star of today's episode.

" I still can't believe they hired Shadow the Hedgehog to do this roll." Tails said with a bit of amusement in his voice. "I mean he is the same guy who appeared in Chao in Space 2."

"And in Anti-Vengers the Final Game," Sticks added.

"And in Fast and the Glorious 8," said Knuckles.

"It makes me wonder if Sonic Boom produces that much money for them to pay someone like him," Amy looked from side to side, in hopes that the black hedgehog would appear. She hasn't met him yet and if she was completely honest, she looking forward to his approval.

"He is not that big of a deal," Sonic rolled his eyes in annoyance. "I mean, I was in Chao in Space 2 as well."

"Yeah, as a side character. Shadow was actually the protagonist." Tails was saying this because it was the truth and not to annoy his blue friend. However, it was quite funny to see Sonic jealous over at Shadow the Hedgehog's accomplishments. Tails were lowkey a fanboy of the black hedgehog, although he would never admit that out loud.

"What is all of this fuzz about? I am right here,"

Finally, the hedgehog that everyone was waiting for arrived. He had an energy drink on his right hand and in one gulp he drank all of it. He then turned around to give it to his assistant who quickly took the can away from him. He stepped on the set where the rest of 'Team Sonic' waited to start.

"Mr. Hedgehog, nice to meet you!" Tails said as he extended out his hand, shaking a little due to the excitement. "I am Tails Miles Prower and I-"

"Yeah, I know who you are," Shadow said with a monotone voice.

The yellow fox leaned into Amy's ear and he whispered, 'Did you hear that Amy? He knows me.’

"You are the only one who has ... descent acting skills," Shadow let out mocking laughter as he looked down on the rest of the 'actors.'

Everyone looked at him, offended at his comment. It seems like the rumors that the black hedgehog had a prepotent personality was true.

"Says the one who can only portray edgy characters."

Everyone turned to look at Amy in disbelief. Actually, she had thought of that in her head but in one way or another, it came out of her mouth. The set was filled with silence until Sonic let out a big laugh and wrapped his right arm around Amy's shoulder.

"That was a good one Ames!" Sonic said.

Shadow wasn't expecting that from the pink hedgehog in front of him. Who did she think she was? She was no one compared to the great acting career he has had. Of course, he wasn't going down without a fight.

"My apologies, I don't accept criticism from people who can't even act," Shadow replied.

"Well maybe if you did, you would get a different type of role from time to time," Amy replied.

By now Team Sonic was static. There was so much tension between the two and they had only met two seconds ago. Vermillion eyes met emerald ones and neither one of them wanted to quit the internal battle.

Shadow the Hedgehog had to admit, this was interesting.

"Shadow!" Sonic Boom's director interrupted the moment as he had finally eyed the black hedgehog. "You are late! What were you doing?"

Mia, a brown girl hedgehog, and Shadow's assistant was watching the scene unfold from afar. She watched the director seated on his high chair and to prevent Shadow from getting scolded, she answered on his behalf.

"He didn't get enough sleep yesterday sir-" Mia said loud enough but the director, who was an old and strict monkey, raised his hand and interrupted her.

"I want him to tell him,"

In all honesty, if it wasn't because he was the director, Shadow would have said something offensive. However, the black hedgehog always had a sense of responsibility and respect towards his job and especially to the director.

Shadow sighed and looked up to the director, "I was up all night on my phone ... reading."

"Hey, me too!" Knuckles said in surprise. "I was reading this really good story about our show and-"

"I am sure that whatever you were reading doesn't compare to what I was reading," Shadow interrupted him and rolled his eyes

The director faced palmed himself and loudly he said, "I don't care! Just make sure this doesn't happen again, Mr. Hedgehog."

Shadow couldn't say anything more. It was his first day on set and he almost wanted to leave ... almost.

"Yes, sir."

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The day ended worse than Amy expected. Shadow wasn't only prepotent, he was mean, rude and jerk. He took in every opportunity he had to bully and tease the hell at out of Amy. The black hedgehog mocked her acting, made fun of her lines and bumped into her multiple times.

And today has only been the first day of filming for this month's episode. Good thing that filming only took around two weeks to complete due that the episodes were short. They started every first day of the month. Today was September 1, they will finish on September 14 and they will have the rest of the month free. Thirteen more days to go, thirteen more days that she had to endure Shadow's presence on set.

She was quite disappointed when she found out who the real Shadow was. Just like her friend, Tails, Amy was secretly a fan of the acting he has done in the past. Although his roles were kind of repetitive, his acting was always exceptional. Even today, his acting techniques were really good, she even liked the character he was portraying.

Amy stretched her back as had finally reached the insides of her home. During today's break, she was able to finish the last chapter of 'Falling Petals' and to make it extra special, she wrote a 20 thousand final chapter. This chapter was filled with a lot of drama, romance, and fights which will lead to the second book. She couldn't wait to just upload it to her page so her readers will enjoy and maybe cry a little with her writing.

After showering and changing to her pajamas, Amy comfortably laid on her bed with her computer on her legs. She logged into fanfiction.com where she had already hundredth of comments in her work, reading for her to read. She always made sure to reply to them whenever she had the chance. The pink hedgehog even had created a bond with a couple of people who always commented on her fanfics. She scrolled down the comment section as she replied to them and a familiar username came into her screen.

"I've following your work since I stumbled upon 'Blue Rose' and in all honesty, you are the best fanfiction writer out there. Every story you publish is great and you develop the characters amazingly well. Yesterday, I was re-reading all 30 previous chapters of 'Falling Petals' and I got late to work but it was worth it. I can't wait to read the final chapter tonight."

By: The Fanfictioner

Amy smiled to herself, she was always happy to read comments and it was one of the few things that kept her going through the day. She took a few moments to think about what to write and finally she began to type.

"This means a lot to me. 'Blue Rose' was the first story I published and I am really happy you still enjoy it. I appreciate you a lot, I see that you always like and comment on my work. I'll keep working hard for you and my other readers. I hope you like the last chapter of 'Falling Petals' ... Thank you!"

By: A Rose Without Thorns

After she finished typing and hitting 'Enter', our adorable pink hedgie was now ready to publish the last chapter of her latest work. She uploads her writing file from her laptop, publishes it and waits for her reader's reaction. Amy closes her laptop and places it next to her, closing her eyes, the pink hedgehog drifted into sleep.

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"CAN YOU GUYS BELIEVE SONIC LEFT AMY TO GO SAVE THE WORLD?!" Knuckles, who has his bubbly self again was walking right and left on the set. "AFTER EVERYTHING THEY WENT THROUGH, HE LEAVES!"

"Knuckles, I am right here," Sonic said as he read a magazine. It was early morning and 'Team Sonic' was waiting for everyone to arrive. "Also, I am not going anywhere. I have to save enough folks on the Island as it is."

"I am not talking about you! I am talking about the Sonic on the story I am reading!" Knuckles replied again. "The writer said that they will punish a second book, so I have hope that they will end up together."

Amy, who was sitting on the actor's small circle, was interested in what Knuckles were reading. Especially since it seemed like he read the last chapter of her most recent work.

"Out of curiosity," Amy said. "What are you doing?"

"I read 'Falling Petals' by A Rose Without Thorns in fanfiction.com," Knuckles replied. "I just love their works is so good!"

Amy hid her evident blush by taking a sip of her coffee.

"What if Knuckles is TheFanfictioner? He did say that he stayed up all night reading and his comment right now sounds a bit similar to the one of last night."

"Wait, fanfiction.com?" Tails who was quietly drinking tea finally spoke up. "You read fanfiction?"

"I do," Knuckles said, still not seating down on his chair. "We need to support fans that create free content for others and besides ... Some of these writers are way better than the ones we have here."

"That, I do believe," Sticks puts down 'Theories Magazine', the issue of this month was government space theories. She was reading a very interesting story about a project that was created on a space colony and it was shut down due that scientists created a powerful ultimate life form.

"Still, it's lame," Sonic said, still not looking at his friends directly. "I understand your curiosity Knuckles, but I still think it's a bit weird. Especially the writer ... It's so cringy."

"It's not! Look!" Knuckles pull out his phone and shoved into Sonic's face, making drop the magazine that he was reading. "Read the first chapter! It's really good!"

The blue bur leaned his head a little, as he tried to catch a glimpse of Knuckle's phone. He read the first lines of the story and a smirk crossed his face. He grabbed Knuckle's phone and stood up from his seat.

"Although I was always pushed away by him, Sonic the Hedgehog was the only hedgehog that I ever wanted." Sonic made his voice sound in a higher pitch, pretending to be the female hedgehog. "His green eyes, his strong form, and heroic personality were some of the things that made me fall in love with him."

Tails and Sticks began to laugh. Even Knuckles who wasn't laughing at the story itself, but at Sonic's overly bad acting, let out a giggle or two.

"See? This is so bad!" Sonic said as he pointed to Knuckles' phone.

The blue one noticed that Amy was awfully quiet, just there, seating on her chair. As to look for her approval, Sonic asked, "Don't you think this is lame Amy? I mean just that fact that you love is ridiculous enough!"

"Yeah, haha," Amy looked down to the floor, as she tried to hide her evident embarrassment. "It is pathetic."

She had never felt such embarrassment before. When she stared this was because she enjoyed writing and loved to write about the Sonic Boom characters. However, looking at her peer's reaction made her wonder. They were the ones who interpreted the characters and they thought it was lame. Maybe, she wasn't as good of a writer as she thinks she was. Doubt filled her mind and before she could say to do anything else, Knuckles was jumped to say something.

"You all are just uncultured," Knuckled said as he took his phone away from Sonic's grasp "You guys will never know how deep and life-changing 'Falling Petals' is until you read it-"

"Will everyone just shut up?"

The prince of dark and gloom appeared and to say that he looked bad was an understatement. Shadow the Hedgehog had dark circles under his red eyes. He arched his back and his stance was way too weak. He looked sick even. Shadow walked towards his chair and sat down with a cup of black coffee on his hand.

"Well, did someone forget to read today's script?" Sonic said mockingly.

"I had a very emotionally draining experience last night, I don't need your jokes at this moment," the black hedgehog replied. He was wearing a black leather jacket and out of one of the pockets, he pulled out some shades and puts them on.

"It wasn't a joke," said Sonic. "There was a change in plans yesterday and we are supposed to record another scene today, did you read your script?"

At that moment, Shadow thanked Chaos that he was wearing shades because otherwise, everyone would have seen his confused face.

Just like he sat down on his chair, he stood up.

"I need to talk to my manager."

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It was already 11 in the morning and they still haven't started filming. At this rate, they were just going to lose the day. It was September and the sunlight was running out short. Sonic Team was already eager to start but there was no sign of the director. Even less Shadow.

"Everyone takes one-hour break, come back at 12 P.M." the show director appeared. He had a tired face one that showed that he was done with his job.

The director came into the circle of actors and approached Amy directly.

"Ms. Rose, I need to speak to you ... Privately," he said as he made a motion to follow him.

"Of course, Mr. Johnson," the pink hedgehog stood from her chair and followed the old monkey. Once again, they were supposed to be filming outdoors. They had closed a small part of Hedgehog Village so they could film. Her friends were on the other side while Amy and Mr. Johnson had already placed themselves behind the camera crew to get some privacy.

"Ms. Rose, I need a favor," Mr. Johnson said. Amy nodded, not expecting that from the director. "I need you to stay here and help Mr. Shadow the Hedgehog finish memorize his script. I know you are the best at that."

Great, this is what she needed. To spend her break time with Shadow, the rudest hedgehog she has ever known. She knew that this wasn't really a favor but part of her job and she normally wouldn't have a mind. Amy was glad to help her friends memorize their scripts but Shadow? He was far from being her friend.

"I'll do it but, can I ask something?" Amy asked.

"Go ahead."

"Why is he here? Don't get me wrong but Sonic Boom doesn't seem like the type of show that an actor of his caliber would want to do."

The old monkey sighed and placed a hand on his forehead. "To be honest I don't even know either ... He just came in saying that he wanted to play a role in the show. He is charging us half the price he normally charges and this will definitely increase the rating of the show ... I know he doesn't have the best personality but for everyone's sake ... Just be nice to him."

Amy nodded. She knew that Shadow was hard to deal with, but just like the director said, having the black hedgehog on the show will help everyone. More ranting equals more money. Also, there was a small part of Shadow that intrigued Amy. Why would he want to be in this show if he could literally be in anything he wanted? Maybe if she could make him open up a little can find out.

The pink hedgehog looked back at her friends who were laughing again at her fanfiction as she saw that Sonic was once again holding up Knuckle's phone. Spending time with Shadow didn't seem so bad now.

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It took all the strength in the world to come to terms with herself. Our pink hedgehog was backing out of the previously made decision as she waited outside Shadow's dressing room. She knocked once and she wished for Chaos that whatever Shadow was doing will stop him from opening the door. Amy looked around nervously, it wasn't like she was afraid of the black hedgehog, well maybe just a tiny bit. She was more scared of having to go through an awkward situation or saying something that might cost her head. In the coming steps of the were heard by the pink one and in a blink of an eye, Shadow was in front of her holding the door open for her to step in. She looked at him with an awkward smile on her face as she made her way in, in a sense, it was her way of greeting him. Yesterday, they didn't have the best of days but maybe Amy could make up for that by helping him. As she made her way in, she realized that his dressing room was way fancier than hers. All black, a bed, a small kitchen, and even a small dining room. For all, she knew this could a small house.

"So," Amy pushed her thoughts away as she sat down on the small dining table. "Today's scene we are going to be introducing your character ... do you know any of the script yet?"

"Not really, I wasn't notified about today's change and I didn't have time yesterday, " Shadow sat down on the chair facing Amy.

"No worries, change in plans happen a lot around here so it's best if you get used to it now," the pink hedgehog kept her eyes glued to the script. "Alright, your dialogue start on page seven so let's go from there. If we can't finish memorizing the script then we can improvise-"

"Why are you helping me?"

The question took Amy by surprise, finally, she looked at the black hedgehog in front of her who had a monotone look on his face. His right hand served as support for his face as it delicately rested on his right cheek. The sunlight coming from the window highlighted Shadow's feature and especially his eyes. Vermillion eyes studied her deeply and Amy could see why he was so popular with the ladies.

"To be honest, because they asked me to and ..." Amy sighed as she shook away the thought. "Because a part of me wants to start again with you"

"We didn't have a good start, didn't we?" Shadow looked outside the window as if he in deep thought. Three seconds pass in which Amy thought it had been minutes, a very unpleasant feeling ran down her spine. She wanted to end with the awkwardness but Shadow beat her to it.

"There's no way I am going to memorize all 50 pages in one hour," Shadow said as he looked back to look at the pink hedgehog.

"Then improvise!" Amy replied. "This is your character, create your own dialogue."

"I don't know who this character is! And I am sure not even the writers know," Shadow stood up from the chair and walked towards the small bed that was across the dining table.

Amy looked over at the black hedgehog who was resting comfortably on his bed.

"Then even better! Make it your own!" Amy raised her voice a little. "Look, for what I know your character, 'Shadow' is mysterious and he may come off as rude but he actually cares for others. He just doesn't know how to properly show it."

Shadow looked over to Amy and with a plain expression he asked, "Meaning?"

Amy stood up from her chair and placed herself in front of the black and red striped hedgehog. She looked at him as she placed her hands on her waist. "Meaning that maybe he had a tragic past, something that explains his personality. It makes him an interesting character ... You can work something from that."

"I don't know, doesn't it sound too-"

Shadow would have never expected what happened next. At one moment, he was lying peacefully on his bed. The next moment, he was still lying peacefully on his bed but the difference was that Amy was on top of him. Her hands were placed on the sides of his head. Her legs were slightly touching his as she had positioned them to the side of his.

"You need to stop!" Amy said, her face close very close to Shadow's. "You have beaten up my friends! What are you after us?"

Shadow blinked multiples times. First, nothing made sense but his brain connected the dots. This was similar to the scene he read on the script. Where the Sonic pinned him down to the ground after a fight. He was pressured and he only had a few seconds, what should he respond?

"I am not after you nor your friends! I am trying to complete my mission and you are just on the way!"

A few seconds passed in which Amy and Shadow only stared at each other's eyes. Amy was looking at him, surprised that he actually followed along with her plan. And Shadow? Where he was starting to get lost. Lost in the pink one's emerald eyes and for a small fraction of a second, he had forgotten where he was.

"That was good!" Amy said as she made Shadow wake up from his trance. "It's a bit vague but that leaves up to interpretation and further build-up for the story."

The pink hedgehog moved away and took a sit on the edge of Shadow's bed. She didn't think too much about it. However, Shadow couldn't let go of that thought that easily.

"You are a strange one," Shadow said as he sat down on the edge of the bed, next to the pink one. "Last time someone confronted me like that was Rouge and it was a different circumstance."

"Rouge as ..." Amy gulped. " Rouge the Bat? The famous actress?"

"Yeah, do you know her?"

"Of course, I do! she is the best actress of our times! She is great!" Amy said excitedly. Shadow noticed that Amy's tail was wiggling from side to side, it was something that he would normally make fun of but he had to admit that it is cute on her.

At that moment, Amy remembered a couple of days ago she was reading a celebrities’ magazine. There was a rumor saying that Shadow the Hedgehog and Rouge the Bat were in a secret relationship. She wanted to ask him about it but decided not to since that would be crossing the boundaries. Maybe she would ask ... Later on, if they ever get to be that open with each other.  

"Anyways," Amy turned around to look at Shadow, who was once again looking at her with his vermillion eyes. "Should we keep practicing some more?"

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 Filming the scene did not only go great but Shadow got praised all from everyone after the shooting. Even Sonic had to admit that he had done a good job and Mr. Johnson went personally to Shadow and thanked him for his commitment to his character. Every time this happened, Shadow looked back at Amy and gave her a small smile to acknowledge her help. He didn't exactly thank her, but Amy knew this was the best thing she could get from him.

More days like this came. In two weeks, Team Sonic had slowly made up their minds that Shadow was going to be sticking around for some time. There was still some conflict from time to time but it wasn't anything that they couldn't handle. The black hedgehog would even 'compliment' the other members once in a while. 'Not half bad', 'Could be better but it wasn't horrible', 'If you are going to say that, at least keep your head up. It will make you look more credible.'

Shadow had slowly made his way into the Sonic Boom family and nobody was complaining. He still had his prepotency and pride, which he would show more often than his soft side. But at least he was trying. Amy Rose didn't care now. He wasn't interfering with her job nor she was interfering with his. They didn't have much communication since she helped him improvise. Maybe just the casual, 'Is there any coffee?' and a 'Yes, it's over there.'

It was the last day of filming and as usual, Amy said goodbye to everyone on set. She won't be seeing them until the next month so she made sure she got to say her goodbyes to every last one of them. Finally, her friends were last. She didn't care too much about saying goodbye to them because she knew she will seem them in the next couple of days. Probably when Eggman is attacking or something like that. Strange enough, Eggman never attacked them on filming days, it was as if he knew and didn't want to ruin their day on purpose.

"I say we should go to the beach soon," Knuckles said.

"I am down," Tails said and Sticks nodded in agreement.

"Same," Sonic was then quick to turn around and face Amy who seemed to look at something or rather someone else. In hopes that she will give him some attention, Sonic raised his voice a little. "What about you Ames? Do you want to go to the beach?"

"What about Shadow?"

Amy's response wasn't the answer Sonic was looking for and instead, he proceeded to walk towards the pink hedgehog and placed his arm around her shoulder in hopes to comfort her. "I don't think he is the type to go to the beach."

"Should we at least invite him?" Amy said, still looking away. She was a bit embarrassed that Sonic was doing this more and more often. "I mean just out of courtesy ...It doesn't matter if he says no."

"I guess if you want to you can do that but ..." the blue one faced the direction that Amy was looking at. His green eyes met the black figure and a small hint of jealousy treated overtake the blue blur seeing that Amy was giving too much attention to Shadow. "You are still coming with us, right?"

The pink hedgehog had finally faced her blue hero and saw a small smile placed on his lips. She returned it and kindly she said, 'Of course!'

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Shadow the Hedgehog was glad that the filming was done. A part of him was enjoying filming for this low-quality show but he still felt relieved that this was over ... for now. He walked outside the set where his beautiful black motorcycle waited for him. Today was going to be a relaxing night. Just him, a glass of wine and re-reading some of his favorite stories.

"Hey, Shadow!"

The black hedgehog recognized that voice, he turned around and met a running pink hedgie running towards him. Almost out of breath as if she had been looking for him everywhere. When she finally reached him, she took a few seconds to get air back into her lungs. Shadow watched every single moment of her and waited until she was ready to speak again.

"This month's episode is coming out next week. To celebrate the launching, my friends and I are going to the beach," Amy looked around, a bit nervous to look at him in the eyes. "I was wondering, I mean, we were wondering if you wanted to join us?"

Alright, this was something he had never experienced before. He was usually invited by other acting peers to go to parties and formal get-togethers where a large group of people was present. However, he had never been invited to such an 'intimate' activity before. Going to the beach? As for playing volleyball together? As building sandcastles? Doing a cookout and eating together after playing in the water?

Was Amy Rose that crazy?

"My apologies," Shadow said. "I am not interested in such things."

Amy mentally sighed in relieve, her job here was done. "It's alright! I won't see you for a while so if you need a friend, hit me up. I am one phone call away."

The rose hedgehog was already making her way out, she walked a few steps away until she felt something small hit her head.

She turned around again to face Shadow who was proudly playing with pebbles on his hand. "You said to hit you up if I need a friend."

Amy didn't know how to react to that. It was clever and even sweet of him. However, Amy didn't know until what extent he meant his words or he was just saying it to tease her.

But she was about to find out.

"Well," Amy walked towards the black hedgehog, a small smirk decorated her face. She wasn't completely doing this, but she still decided to give it a try. She mounted Shadow's bike and placed her hands on the accelerator and the break. "I can be your friend right now."

It was very interesting, the strange dynamic that the two had. Shadow wasn't even complaining which even surprised him. He didn't let just anyone ride his bike, but if it was the pink hedgehog then maybe he could make an exception.

Her character and persona were just very intriguing to him. She was a simple hedgehog, very plain looking but still, there was something about her that attracted him to her.

"Very well then," Shadow said as he took a sit on his motorcycle. He placed his hands delicately on the pink hedgehog’s hip, trying to touch as little as he could. They were close but Amy didn't seem to mind the contact at all. "Where to next?"

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That night Amy and Shadow didn't speak a word. Nothing else was said as they only enjoyed each other's company in silence. Amy took Shadow across the island to see things he had never seen before. The moon provided enough light for them to fully appreciate the beauty of the forests, beaches, and even small villages. Amy let out a small smile whenever Shadow got excited about the smallest things. Did he see a pretty flower? His ears would move excitedly. Did he see a pretty view? Again, his ears. Did he try a fruit that he liked? Ears. He was very expressive with them and Amy was found of such a cute act.

When their time as running out, Amy drove to her house. She thanked Shadow for the night and a sense of her told her that Shadow didn't want to say goodbye just yet.

She climbed out of the motorcycle and watched Shadow take her previous seat. The pink hedgehog was ready to enter her house but before, she had to properly say goodbye to those vermillion eyes.

"I'll see you next month Shadow," Amy said as she kept eye contact with the black one. "I hope you enjoy this month's chapter."

"Chapter?"

Holy shit.

"Episode! I meant to say, I hope you enjoy this month's episode!"

Amy cursed mentally at the fanfiction writer inside of her who was so used to saying 'I hope you enjoy this chapter.'

"I will ... I believe," Shadow replied.

"Well, you are a great actor," Amy said quickly. "Whatever you are on it, I am sure it will be great."

Her words weren't meant to come out of her mouth so easily. She said them so naturally that it caught her and Shadow in surprise. The pink hedgehog looked around nervously as she tried to hide the evident blush on her face. Amy wanted to disappear, to get inside her house and just start writing the new fanfiction she had in mind.

A few seconds in which no one said a word until Shadow decided to break the silence.

"It will be great ..." Shadow said as he turned on his bike again, ready to leave. "Because you helped me along the way."

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This month's episode of Sonic Boom wasn't great ... it was fantastic. People were just loving the introduction of Shadow the Hedgehog into the story. After a few hours of being aired, people were already talking about it their social media and other types of platforms. Amy even had to admit that if it wasn't because she was already in love with the blue bur, she might have been a Shadow fangirl. He acted amazingly well and he made his character his which was very hard to compel.

Right now, the pink hedgehog was comfortably sitting on her sofa, as the TV was on and she was scrolling to her fanfiction web page. Tomorrow she was going to the beach with her friends and maybe she could take her laptop with her to finish some writing.

An idea crossed her mind and to celebrate the brand-new episode of Sonic's Boom, she decided to open up prompt requests.

She began to type on her laptop.

"Sonic Boom's new episode was really good, wasn't it? To celebrate today's episode, I'll be opening up prompt requests! Send it right away and I'll answer as soon as I can!"

By: A Rose Without Thorns

The pink hedgehog clicked 'Enter' and soon after she began to receive multiple notifications. She opened one from a username she clearly recognized. This person was a long and loyal follower of her and it was now her personal goal to give them the best story they could even ask for.

However, her heart skipped a bit when she read the prompt request.

"As I watched this recent Sonic Boom episode, I realized that Shadow and Amy's characters have great potential to develop a relationship. Can I request a story where Shadow and Amy fall in love? Thank you."

By: The Fanfictioner

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A/N:  Can you all believe this is the first Sonic Boom AU I’ve written since my first story ‘First Impressions’? That was probably the longest synopsis I have ever written as well lol and still it’s not even half what this story will be about. I am honestly very excited to write this. I was thinking that this story could have around 10 chapters with 10K words in each chapter (I may look for beta readers, because this a lot of work) This one is barely 6K500 because this is a draft.

Still, I wanted to lay out some ideas with this and in the actual story, some things could change.

I may work on this again after I finish writing the prompt request I have left. I don't know you guys tell me if you would like some more. If I do, this story will probably only be available of Ao3 (Because I am planning to change there really soon) Anyways, thank you again for reading! Until next time!

[miss-edith-cushing]

Tag people you want to know better / catch up with. I've been tagged by @ashfae and I’m not surprised at all - she probably noticed how much I love tag games; and the second I saw someone on my dash answering those questions I hoped Ashfae will be a dear and will tag me, and of course I wasn’t wrong - so thank you!

Last song: Zbigniew Preisner - Niebo (Sky) - performed by Elżbieta Towarnicka It’s the last piece with lyrics I listened to, so I guess I should choose this one. It’s an aria from Preisner’s ‘De Aegypto’ (called also ‘Egyptian Opera’), which is... I’m not entirely sure what is that - it was a spectacle performed in TV, but I never listened and seen all of it, and I don’t think it’s available in any way, legally or illegaly. You may know Preisner as a composer who created film scores for Krzysztof Kieślowski’s movies, the best known of which are The Three Colours Trylogy (’White’, ‘Blue’ and ‘Red’) and ‘The Double Life of Veronique’. Elżbieta Towarnicka is his probably favourite performer, and you will clearly hear why (she worked with him also on scores for films I just mentioned). The piece itself was inspired by the Egyptian Book of the Dead and the lyrics refer to it.

You know what, this is such a beautiful song and lyrics in the comments are not properly translated, so I’ll do it for you:

You are the yesterday,

You are the today,

You are the tomorrow,*

And you have the power to be born for the second time.

You are the divine soul

That created the gods,

You are strong,

Brightness lasts** in your heart.

Let him wander in peace,

Let him cross*** the skies,

Let him worship the brightness,

Let him, let him, let him.

I am the yesterday,

I am the today,

I am the tomorrow

And I have the power to be born for the second time,

For the second time.

* Using one word for naming the days - yesterday, today and tomorrow - sounds kinda dull here, because the language of this song is very formal. Normally when we want to say ‘yesterday’, we say just ‘wczoraj’ instead of ‘dzień wczorajszy’ (day... yesterday-y??? the first word means just ‘day’, the second word is an adjective), and that rather unusual pattern was used here to describe the days. I have no clue if English has any equivalent of that; but I felt giving you this information is important.

** The verb here, ‘trwać’, have many meanings, and one of them is ‘to last’. I’m not sure if that’s perfect word here - maybe I should choose ‘stay’. 'Trwać’ means here that the brightness in his heart will not fade away - it’s so special not because the circumstances are unfavourable for it to exist, but because that described being is a creature with an unique nature that ensures him to keep the brightness in himself.

*** Do you remember that iconic line from ‘Bram Stoker’s Dracula’ with Gary Oldman? ‘I have crossed oceans of time to find you’? This is exactly the meaning. ‘Przemierzać’ means to travel for a very long time and across a huge distance, so the journey feels like it will never end (which doesn’t have to be an unpleasant feeling). It can be a journey repeated routinely on one road (like the sun, or the ship that cruises between two harbors) or a way of roaming through large space in many directions (like a continent or a sea).

Hey, look who started babbling again, how unexpected.

Last movie: At home: ‘Secretary’ (2002). I’ve seen it many years ago and didn’t remember much, and now I liked it a lot. For my film d’auteur class: ‘La Chute de la Maison Usher’ by Jean Epstein. Pure beauty. And I gave in on Thursday and went to IMAX to watch ‘Tenet’. I’m very serious about this whole pandemic business, but I sure as hell ain’t gonna watch this movie for the first time on the screen of my laptop. I’m not entirely sure what happened, this whole wibbly wobbly, timey wimey stuff was too complicated to understand so quickly, so I’ll definitely watch it again, but it blew me away and that’s exactly what I wished to happen.

Currently Watching: ‘Supernatural’. It’s the last season, five episodes left... Ugh, I’m already getting nervous. And I guess that’s it... I haven’t watched any new show lately, except for miniseries like ‘Des’ (GOSH that was so good). I don’t feel like starting any new shows and when a few months ago I tried to watch ‘Masters of Sex’ I’ve noticed binge-watching makes me very depressed and nervous very easily, so I stopped. I have a few shows I’m planning to watch, but not many, i.e. ‘Killing Eve’, ‘The Terror’ and ‘The Queen’s Gambit’ - the last one mostly because Marcin Dorociński plays in it - this dude should be more famous than Leonardo DiCaprio and win one award after another. If you have HBO GO, ‘Bez tajemnic’ (’Without secrets’), Polish version of ‘In treatment’, should be available there - there are plenty of incredible and legendary actors in this show, but he is the absolute star of it. And for fellow David Tennant’s fans out there: I haven’t watched ‘Spies of Warsaw’ yet, but Dorociński played Antoni Pakulski there and certainly was great too.

Currently Reading: I just started ‘My Brilliant Friend’ by Elena Ferrante - my therapist says I’m very much like the title character and I’m very curious what does it mean. I have also a few articles about theory of cinema to read for my tomorrow’s course: ‘On the politique des auteurs’ and ‘The Ontology of the Photographic Image‘ by André Bazin and ‘The birth of a new avant-garde: La caméra-stylo’ by Alexandre Astruc. SO damn interesting. And SHIT-TON of books about Medea - I’m writing my master’s thesis about her, but please don’t ask me about it, I’m already panicking.

Currently Craving: A good long sleep that would last for at least eight hours. To feel strong and healthy enough (I’m extremely tired, my back and stomach hurt like hell) so I could be able to clean up a little, wash my woolen sweaters by hand (I’m not throwing them into washing machine, they cost too much to risk any damage), organize my desk and uni notes from last year... I’m in one of those rare, but powerful moods of making lists of things to take care of and just... putting my world in order. And visiting places. And I would gladly just spend nice, simple time with some of my friends - just having fun and talking about important, but not especially painful stuff. I really, really need to meet with Olaf, my best friend from work, and joke with him, and talk with him like a new bi person with an old-timer gay person, and get to know him better.

Anyone surprised my replies are so long? I’m not.

And now the worst, stressful part: tagging. @dearcrowley @heart-blood-death @darkanachronism - but if you’d like to answer those questions and haven’t tag you, feel invited to do it and please tag me so I could see it!

[shochmonster]

84 Questions

original: https://fuckyeahsurveys.tumblr.com/post/61049002526/84-questions

Put your music player of choice on shuffle and list the first 10 songs Guns of Brixton - The Clash Holiday in Cambodia - Dead Kennedys  Chainsaw - Nick Jonas California - Joni Mitchell Make It Wit Chu - Queens of the Stone Age This Woman’s Work - Kate Bush The Bad Thing - Arctic Monkeys Between the Bars - Eliot Smith Drown - The Smashing Pumpkins Different People - No Doubt

If you could spend a week anywhere in the world, where would it be and why? Would you take anyone with you? I’d take @duoloopo to the UK. I’d like to see places other than London.

What is your preferred writing implement? (eg. Blue pen, pencil, green pen)  I use my iPad stylus the most, but I have this heavy mechanical pencil I really like for drawing. 

Favourite month and why? October. I just love the fall vibe. 

Do you have connections to any celebrities (even minor)? List them. I went to undergraduate school with Rebecca Sugar. We used to ride the bus between NYC and DC together on holidays. 

Name 3 items you could pick up from where you are. Can of seltzer, pencil case, stack of bills

What brand logo is closest to you currently? REAL Skateboards

Do you ever play board games or other non-computer games? Got any favourites? I love Small World and Munchkin. 

A musical artist you love that isn’t well known Laura Stevenson and the Cans

A musical artist you love that is well known Red Hot Chili Peppers

What is your desktop background currently? Thomas Barrow on the beach in the Season 4 Christmas Special

Last person you talked to, and through what you talked to them @duomaxwell02 with my face :O 

First colour name you can think of that isn’t in the rainbow White

What timekeeping devices are in the room you are currently in? Two wall clocks, though one is very old and doesn’t wind anymore. I also have a clock @duoloopo ‘s dad made for me. It’s on the piano. 

What kind of headphones do you use? JBL Bluetooth, noise canceling 

What musical artists have you seen perform live? Foo Fighters (3x), Incubus (3x), Red Hot Chili Peppers, Smashing Pumpkins, Beastie Boys, Audioslave, Justin Timberlake, Troy Sivan, Arctic Monkeys, The Rolling Stones, Eric Clapton, Queen (but with Roger Daughtry, not Freddy... for obvious reasons.). Probably a whole bunch of others I’m blanking on. 

Does virginity matter to you? Not really. 

What gaming consoles do you or your family own? PS4, PS2, PS1, XBox 360, N64, Gamecube, Wii, NES, SNES, various Gameboys, Nintendo DS, PSP

What pets do you have? What are their names? Two cats, Hemingway and Renji

What’s the best job you’ve ever had? I like freelance art gigs the best. As for ‘normal people jobs’, I once was a sign painter for Whole Foods. That was pretty fun, minus the work drama. 

What’s the worst job you’ve ever had? Food service. 

What magazines do you read, if any? I’ll pick up Time once in a while

Inspiration behind your URL? My classic original URL was LinkWorshiper and had been since AIM first existed. I picked it because Zelda was the first fandom I ever joined. Now I’ve changed all my handles (except on AO3) to reflect my actual name, as my literary agent thinks it’s more professional. 

Inspiration behind your blog title? Mean Girls. I always chuckle imagining Thomas and Jimmy as some Edwardian version of the Plastics. 

Favourite item of clothing? My Downton livery waistcoat. And the stiff bosomed shirt and collars I have to go with it. 

Are you friends with any exes? Nah. By the time I felt comfortable enough to possibly try, I also didn’t care enough to. 

Name at least one book you loved as a child. His Dark Materials (the trilogy by Philip Pullman). I still love them and am jazzed that he’s writing more these days. 

What’s your native language? If that language has distinct regional variations, which variation? (eg. AU English, US English) US English, mostly a northeastern dialect/accent

What email service do you use? Gmail

Is there anything hanging on the walls of the room you are currently in? So much stuff. I have a mood board full of Downtons stuff over my desk, various DA posters and memorabilia, plus some artwork I’ve done, and some of my JC Leyendecker collection. The aforementioned wall clocks, a San Francisco cable car bell, Sailor Moon and a few other little knickknacks, like my hamsa. To name a few lol. 

What’s your favourite number, and why? 212 because it’s Manhattan’s area code and also because it used to be the notation for one of my favorite ships in an old fandom. 

Earliest moment in your life you can remember? Sitting under the table and looking at my grandma, who was wearing a Cruella Deville dress she’d knit herself. Like, it had the actual Disney character on it. Pretty cool to a little guy, I guess!

What did you have for dinner yesterday? Quesadilla 

How often do you brush your teeth? Whenever they feel gross

What’s your favourite candy/chocolate? Lately, I’ve been into Junior Mints. 

Have you had other blogs on Tumblr? Do you have any other blogs currently? This blog used to have my old handle, linkworshiper. I did a small Whole Foods blog when I worked with them, but it never went anywhere. 

If you were suddenly really hungry, what would you choose to eat? Sushi

What fandoms would you consider yourself a part of? Downton Abbey, though lately I’ve been crazy busy and not as active as I once was. Casually still poking at old fandoms like Zelda and Gundam Wing to name a few. 

If you could study anything, what would it be? More art education can’t hurt. Maybe some formal history education. 

Do you use anything on your lips? (eg. Chapstick, gloss, balm, lipstick) Chapstick 

How would you describe your sense of humour? Seinfeld 

What things annoy you more than anything else? Mouth noises

What kind of position are you in at the moment? Sitting

Do you wear much jewellery? Nope

Who is the leader of your country, currently? Any other levels of government with leaders? (State, region, province, county, district, municipality, etc) Three supposedly equal branches of government, currently being run into the ground by a clown 

Last 3 blogs on your dashboard, not including any of your own @halcyondaze @mab1905 @lavender-hued-melancholy

What do you carry your money in? I try to never carry cash, but I carry a small wallet 

Do you enjoy driving? Why or why not? I like it but sometimes it feels like a chore, especially during a commute. @duoloopo thinks I’m a shit driver so she tries to drive whenever she can, which has pluses and minuses. 

Longest drive you have ever been on? Savannah GA to San Francisco, CA in a UHaul

Furthest away from home you have ever been? Germany 

How many times have you moved house? God, I don’t even know. More than ten. 

What is on the floor of the room you’re currently in, not including furniture? Cat toys, unused canvases

How many devices do you own which can access the internet? Phone, computer, iPad, various game consoles 

Is there is anything that is guaranteed to always make you happy? Thomas and Jimmy <3 <3 

Is there anything that always makes you sad? Thinking too hard about being a failure

What programs do you currently have open? I just rebooted, so only Chrome, Spotify and Photoshop

What do you associate the colour red with? This line in the Kate Bush Song Blue Symphony, which goes, ‘I associate love with red, the color of my heart when she’s dead.’ 

Last strong smell you can remember smelling? The Greek food I ordered in for dinner

Last healthy thing you ate? Roasted veggies

Do you drink tea or coffee, and how much per day? I prefer tea, and I drink coffee for energy, though sometimes I think it just makes me crash harder. 

What do you associate the colour blue with? The sky

How long is the closest ruler you can find? 12 inches

What colour pants/skirt/etc are you currently wearing? Dark blue

When was the last time you drank water? About a minute ago

How often do you clear your browser history? Rarely

Do you believe nude photos can be artistic, rather than erotic? Yes

Ever written fanfiction for anything? Oh God, yes. You can still find it under Link Worshiper on AO3, though some of my ‘classics’ have been removed since I turned them into original manuscripts 

Last formal event you attended My cousin’s wedding

If you had to move your birthday to another date, which one would you choose and why? Maybe inch my birth year up just by two so that I’d stop being called a damn millennial. At my age, I really just don’t relate to the generation even though technicalities make me a part of it. 

Would you prefer to be at a beach or in the countryside? Beach

Roughly how many people live in your town? 52,000

Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? Leonard Nimoy :D 

Favourite place to shop? Can be a certain store or a place where there are multiple stores I haven’t really gone shopping since the pandemic. Right now, it feels like the only place to buy anything is Amazon XD

Do you have a smartphone? What kind? If you don’t, do you want one? Samsung. It’s not a Galaxy but is a new model and a fraction of the price. 

What is your least favourite colour, and why? I don’t think I dislike any colors honestly. 

How do you spell grey/gray? Grey. I’ve got too many British online associates to ever go back. 

Go to your dashboard and describe the image shown in the radar section (below the “Find blogs” link) It’s Umbrella Academy fanart of Klaus. He’s in black and white with this hands over his eyes and the background is red. It’s very graphic. 

What difference is there between how many followers you have, and the number of blogs you follow? 736

How many posts do you have? 8,859

How many posts have you liked? I can’t find the stat D: 

Do you post mainly reblogs, or your own content? Mainly reblogs but I pepper in my own content when I can. Lately, I haven’t had time to do as much fanart though, and I kind of feel like it’s not worth bothering to post my original stuff. Nobody follows my blog for that. 

Do you track any tags? No. 

What time is it currently? 7:33 PM CMT

Is there anything you should be doing right now? Waking up @duoloopo. TIME TO JUMP ON THE BED. 

tagging, if they feel like it: @abbys-little-whippersnapper​ @bumblebarrow​ @irrationalgame​ @downtoncat​ @mab1905​ @duoloopo​

and everyone who I’ve forgotten

[thisisnotartcritique]

Blue Art, Red Wine

How did we choose this theme? Blue art to see at midnight (you and me)

M: Well, it was late at night, I was drinking with Peter and Johann, and we were frankly tired of art. The rhetoric, the jargon, the rigid categories of art, god, it was all so boring and conformist. The boundaries of location and time, for example, Dutch Still Life 1700s, no longer apply in this day and age. We wanted to move beyond that, into the soul, and truly connect with youth. Pete’s even got us hooked on this uh what’s it called low, low music? 

P: Right, we are inspired by lo-fi music album titles, it puts you in the mood to look at art. When you get home from a tiring day at work, I like to pour a glass of red wine and listen to lo-fi. It reminds you of the hours between midnight and dark rainy mornings, when the sky is dark with a tint of blue. It clears my dusty soul...

J: I love the night! Makes me feel alive. Forgive me, I’m still a bit inebriated. My age must be catching up to me… 

M: Ah careful, what if those are your last words, Johann?

J: So be it. 

Why did you choose your piece of art or exhibition?

P: I am more of the techy one here, unlike Hans and Mike, those two are too consumed by their back pains. Though I have to admit, being on my phone in bed has not been great for my neck either...hahaha…. Anyways, I see myself in Chiao’s drawing, of course except that my room wouldn’t be full of silly posters and uncanny adornments. But the colours, the “vibe”, the little human figure, everything is so relatable, yet in perfect harmony. I aim to achieve that level contentment in life, and I want my readers to feel the same. 

J: I would take offense to Peter’s comment, but unfortunately I learned how to ride a bike just a few months ago. Aside from the unsolicited comments, I’ve been feeling absolutely wonderful after a summer trip to a very hot place (definitely not Hell), and am now undertaking an infestation at a quaint old house in Toronto, which as you can imagine, is a very large ordeal. I’m honoured. Living in a city really allows you to become acquainted with what humanity really tastes feels like, and I find that there is creativity everywhere. Just yesterday I saw a tasteful mural on a fence by the grocery store! It’s as if that mural could transport us to a different time: these thoughts are what reminded me of Kanghee Kim’s photographs.

M: Oh I’m all about adventure, sweetheart. As a man plagued by insomnia and burnout and Instagram, I… need to escape. We all need that. Especially when you have “friends” like Pete and Hans. 

The merging of art & architecture in New Circadia was simply sublime.When I went last year, each time was better than the last. The naps - bellissima! The soft pillow gear, the disco ball, the low-lights and hum, the recorded dreams all coalesced into this sanctuary. 

After all, I write about what I’m drawn to — and maybe my next piece will be about a certain interviewer. 

P: Of course the naps got you Mike. I agree with you that the New Circadia was indeed a much needed escape, simply the act of pushing through the heavy curtains resets my brain. Sometimes I don’t realize how tired I am until I lay in bed, and that was my experience with New Circadia. This brings me to think about our relationship with rest in everyday contemporary life, who decided to place such a heavy emphasis on productivity and efficiency. Do you live to work, or work to live?

J: Who doesn’t like a healthy dose of existential dread on a Monday morning? Although I haven’t personally visited the New Circadia exhibit, I have to say, I don’t find the idea of softness enticing. I prefer the hard cement of a Satanist church’s basement, or perhaps even the deteriorating wooden beams within an old Victorian house. But back to your question, Peter… I don’t know. I’ve been alive for as long as I can recall, but working for only the past two years.

M: That’s because no one would hire you, Hans. 

J: As an immortal being, I have no need for earthly pleasure and glib monetary transactions! Plus, McDonalds already had a supernatural being working for them.

M: Then pay us back for the bubble tea. 

J: If you want the money so badly, come and get it.

M: I’ll cut you in half, demon boy! 

*muffled shuffling sounds, a singular groan of pain followed by heavy breathing from opposite sides of the room*

P: Idiots. Hopefully, you’ll feel better in the morning. I’m not writing this blog by myself.

[thesmalltowngal]

Snowbaz 15- Romeo and John

Otp Prompt #15: Simon and Baz are both cast in Romeo & Juliet, but the roles they get are… interesting. (Prompt idea credit to @yellow-car)

Sorry I didn’t post yesterday or the day before! I went to a football game (and got home super late), and then I had a birthday party to go to, and I just got super behind on writing. This one is extra long, just because I really felt the inspiration with this one. 😂 Enjoy!

Somehow, Agatha convinced me to sign up for the Watford school play. (There’s only one every four years because we don’t often have time for extracurriculars at a magicks school). This year’s play is Romeo and Juliet (I’ve read this book once- didn’t understand a word). Agatha told me that I was a shoe-in for Romeo and she (of course) was going to be Juliet. It would work out perfectly. I suppose I would have been perfect for Romeo (other than my utter lack of coordination and my terrible singing voice) if bloody Baz of all people hadn’t decided to audition as well. 

When we first got to auditions, everything was fine. Totally alright. We got in groups and practised our auditions songs (both Baz and Agatha said I sounded like a dying cat) and acted out scenes. By the end of the day, I was thoroughly beat. Exhausted on all accounts and ready to go home, even if it was with Baz. Of course he was flawless at singing, acting, and dancing. His voice sounded smooth and sweet. His feet moved like someone was moving them perfectly for him, and he acted as if someone else had entirely possessed him. 

So the day after (today), everyone comes back to the theatre (a run down old thing- falling apart at the seams) to be given their roles. The theatre teacher starts listing off names one by one, stating recommended role and a secondary role that they could be considered for under certain circumstances. Of course Baz gets the role of Romeo with the secondary role of… Romeo. Literally the only role they would like him to play since he’s so bloody perfect. Figures. He looks over at me and flashes me a smug smile.

Agatha would be the last to be given her role since she’s toward the end, and I’m right before her. When the teacher finally gets to me, she says simply, “Simon Snow: Villager #3…” She hesitates before saying, “Or Juliet.” I nearly choke on my own spit, and when I look over at Baz he’s doubled over in laughter. Tears spill out of the corners of his eyes and he’s holding his stomach. His laugh his big and bellowy, and for some reason, part of me feels… satisfaction? At the fact that I made him smile for real and laugh so hard. Granted, it’s at my expense. Agatha’s eyes bulge out of her head and she turns a bright red. (Embarrassed to be dating a male Juliet, I suppose). 

“Um, er- Madame? Pardon, but what exactly made you consider me for the role of Juliet?” I’m sure my face is bright red from embarrassment as I stumble over my words. Baz looks like he’s about to combust or pop a vein.

“Well, Mr. Snow, you have certain… qualities… that might make you a good candidate. Also, we thought perhaps more LGBT representation among the Watford theatre programme may be good,” Baz is practically choking on his own spit and his shoulders shake with laughter. He is just loving this. “In fact, you were our first choice, but we assumed you wouldn’t be interested, so we gave it to…” She glances at her list before looking back up at me. “To Agatha Wellbelove. If you want the role it’s yours, but-” I look over at Baz (who has abruptly replaced his laughter with a smug smirk) and Agatha who are looking at each other. Agatha looks excited, and Baz looks thoroughly satisfied at the fact that he would be getting to snog my girlfriend. Well, I’m not about to bloody well let that happen.

“Crowley, I’ll take it. I’ll be Juliet- but can we maybe change the name to something a… tad more masculine?” Agatha has whipped her head toward me so fast and hard that I’m not sure it didn’t give her whiplash. She glares at me and I can feel waves of angry magic rolling off of her. (Usually it’s me who overflows with angry magic). Baz has schooled his expression into one of surprise and curiosity. 

The professor claps her hands together excitedly. “Wonderful! Perfect. You can be… John, yes?” I nod my head and she continues, turning to Agatha. “Agatha darling, you’ll be a perfect fit for Rosaline, the girl that rejects Romeo. Get ready everyone- we officially have all roles! Rehearsal for Romeo and John starts tomorrow!” She dismisses everyone and I immediately turn to Agatha. She looks bloody pissed. I suppose I’ll have to kiss Baz now (a fact that makes my insides churn), but better me than my girlfriend. 

“How could you, Simon?! You get a lead role even when it’s supposed to be a girl and I’m the one who talked you into this in the first place and you knew that I wanted to be Juliet?” She’s turning red, but she has to understand where I’m coming from. The only reason I did it was so that Baz and Agatha wouldn’t kiss. I’m too worried that they’ll end up together if that happens. 

“Aggie, I only did it so you wouldn’t snog my enemy!”

“Oh and it’s much better if you do?” 

“Yes, yes it is!” Now I’m getting angry at her, and I can feel the magic rising to my skin- Agatha doesn’t seem to notice (or maybe she just doesn’t care). 

“Aleister Crowley, Simon! You two have more bloody chemistry than he and I do!” What in the bloody hell is she on about? She throws her hands up in defeat. “That’s it, Simon, I need a break.”

“A break?” A break from what? From the play? From Baz? I support all of those things.

“A break from us, Si. I just… I need some space.” Everything goes momentarily red before I feel a strong, calloused hand clamp down on my shoulder and drag me out of the building, pushing and shoving me farther away from campus. When the person spins me around, I’m face to face with Baz. I lunge for him, but he ducks away. (Just as graceful as ever, the prat.)

“Calm down, Snow! You were about to go off! Crowley, you’re lucky I saved your bloody arse when I did. As much as I was enjoying the show, didn’t want you to blow us all up.” He sneers at me and I growl at him, but I can feel myself calming down. “Just breathe, Snow.” I take in deep breaths and close my eyes, trying to think about happy things. When I finally open my eyes, completely cooled down and ready to thank Baz, he’s gone. I look around, but I can’t see him anywhere. I suppose we’ll just pretend that never happened. 

… 

When I finally went back to our room last night after my near-meltdown, Baz was already in bed and asleep. (Or so he acted like he was- he acts like he’s asleep a lot, but I know when he’s really asleep. His breathing is different). This morning, he acted like him comforting me had never even happened, and everything went back to normal. He sneered at me all day, and I growled at him in turn. Name calling. Truth be told, it all just feels routine now. Like I’m just going through all of the emotions of despising him… but I’m not totally sure that I do. Not after last night. Even though it would have been hilarious for him to see me go off yesterday, (he would think it was funny because he knows that I subconsciously protect him when I go off. I can’t even help it) he helped me calm down. In fact, he even stopped me from making a huge mistake by yelling at Agatha, which isn’t like him at all.

So now I’m here at rehearsal, trying not to stare at my arch-rival. Agatha went through with her promise of being on a break, but if I’m being honest, I’m not all that mad. I think I’ve been thinking (well, as much as it’s possible for me to think) about breaking it off with her for a long bloody time. I just… kind of filed it away under the things I’m not supposed to think about. As with my hatred of Baz, I just feel like we were just going through the motions of dating. I love Agatha, but I don’t quite think I’m in love with her. I suppose Penny was right. Right now, Agatha is ignoring me completely while we learn stage directions. There aren’t many songs to sing, but there is a party in which people are supposed to dance together- I have to dance with Baz. But for now, we’re learning the very beginning of the play, and we aren’t quite ready to learn the dances yet.

The whole rehearsal, Baz and I are separated, because our two characters don’t meet yet- we’re in completely different scenes. Romeo and Juliet (or Romeo and John, I suppose) seems like a silly concept. The whole bloody forbidden love thing doesn’t seem very realistic; if you love someone that much, it’s not going to be horrible, yeah? I mean, Crowley, if a romance was really forbidden in the real world, surely the ‘main characters’ would be like ‘screw this, this is absurd’ and then they would ride off into the sunset. But these two both end up dying. Over love. What a cliche. (I don’t know how Agatha talked me into this). But anyway, Baz and I don’t see each other for nearly the whole rehearsal, except for at the very end when we’re all seated around the professor.

We’re going over every act and every scene in our scripts, reading the lines all out loud. The only problem is that the professor has Baz and I standing in the middle of the circle for ‘practise acting together’. The good news is that no one seems to be looking at us- everyone is just staring down at their scripts. 

In a few scenes we have to change pronouns since the lead (me) is now a male, but they’re easy fixes. When we get to the party part in the script, Baz looks up at me, but keeps saying his lines. (Of course the twat already has lines memorized). Our characters just talk to each other for a while (I fumble on a few lines because bloody hell Baz is staring me down) before dancing. We skip that part because we haven’t learned it yet. When we get to the first kissing scene, I feel myself blush for some reason. Just the fact that I have to kiss my nemesis is weird. But if I have to do it for the play, I suppose I will. But not now. We won’t do the kiss until opening night- the professor said so. 

I don’t know how Baz is so good at playing this love sick character when he’s never been with anyone, as far as I know. In this scene, the two characters are falling in love with each other. Baz delivers every line with love and lust, portraying this forbidden love thing far better than I am. We make eye contact as he delivers a line. “Prodigious birth of love is it to me that I must love a loathed enemy…” He sounds so genuinely said that for a second, I nearly forget that it’s just the character that he’s playing, and not Baz himself. Baz would never stand to pine someone- he’s just not that kind of person. 

Throughout the whole rehearsal, it was weird to see Baz interacting with people. Actually laughing. It’s like he really comes alive when we’re all working for the same thing. In fact, he’s actually tolerable. He cracks jokes himself, and I even caught him laughing at a few of mine. It’s so unlike him that it’s slightly disorienting. In fact, when we’re finally done with rehearsal, he doesn’t speed up out of the door to get ahead of me. He walks with me. Well, maybe not with me, but a few feet beside me. 

“You sound like a robot, Snow,” I look over, expecting to see a sneer, but instead I see a small smile. “Work on sounding more love sick.” He says it like it’s so easily- then again, everything seems to be easy for him.

“I don’t even know how to do that,” He raises a curious eyebrow at me, and I walk a little closer to him so we don’t have to yell across the whole bloody field.

“Didn’t you and Wellbelove just break up?”

“Well, yeah, but-”

“Well you must be hurting then, Snow. Tap into that. Acting is just… drawing upon experiences and feelings, no matter how deep down they may be. Crowley, just work on putting some emotion into your lines!” He shoves me (but with no aggression… which I don’t know what to make of) and I realize that for him to draw up those emotions, he must have some love sickness for himself.

“So then… how do you draw up love?” He scoffs and rolls his eyes, like he thinks I’m taking a stab at him. “No, really. What do you draw from?” He looks at me funny for a moment before changing his expression into his usual one that he saves especially for me- a sneer and venom in his voice.

“We’re not friends, Snow,” He spits out my name, and I just want him to go back to how he was acting before. Actually pleasant for once. “That is none of your bloody business, you twat.” He speeds up, passing me and jogging toward Mummers House. I make a feeble attempt at trying to call out to him, but I suppose having fun with him was only meant to last a moment. 

…

Baz ignores me whenever he can. He ignores me often, but it’s different this time. He always takes a chance to make fun of me and poke me until I go off. Maybe brag about stealing my girlfriend. But now he’s not saying anything. I’ve tried provoking him, just to get something from him, but it hasn’t worked. He just ignores me, not even throwing the occasional sneer my way. Yesterday at rehearsal, our characters still hadn’t met, so we didn’t interact much. He was perfectly fine with everyone else- joking around (as far as joking goes for him, anyway) and laughing. It felt odd, feeling a bit sad when he would stop smiling when he looked at me. Like my face made him sad. 

Tonight at rehearsal, it’s time for everyone to learn the dance for a party scene. Everyone partners up- including Baz and I. The choreographer teaches us the basic steps, and I’m certain that I’ll trip over my feet and piss Baz off even more. But we set up nonetheless. I’ve never been a good dancer, and I’ve certainly never danced with a bloke. But it seems like Baz has done this before, because he takes control. He grabs one of my hands, lifting it up (he has very rough hands, but they’re oddly soothing) and wraps one arm under my armpit and sets his hand on my back. I follow his lead and rest my arm on his, letting my hand settle on his upper back as well. He doesn’t look at me once while we set up. Crowley it’s weird to be this close with Baz. I can feel his breath, and smell his overwhelming scent of cedar and bergamot. 

Looking up at him (he’s always been taller than me by at least three inches- and he never lets me forget it, either), I see that he looks tired. He has bags under his eyes, and his hair is falling from it’s usual slicked back state. His eyes are a stormy grey (bastard always had better eyes than me, too). As soon as the music starts, he begins to move his feet all around. He has the perfect posture while gliding around the floor, and I can only just follow his lead. He’s so graceful. His back is strong (and oddly tense) under my hand, but the hand that I’m holding is loose while it holds mine. In the scene, we’re never supposed to break eye contact, but he seems to be looking anywhere but at me as we dance. He spins me around many times, but we’re only halfway through the dance (it’s killing me- I don’t know how Baz is still breathing normally) when the music stops, as well as the other students. 

The professor walks up to us, clicking her heels and stops right in front of Baz. She leans in to whisper something in his ear, and then promptly turns on her heel back to her spot in the audience when he nods. He rolls his eyes as she walks away, but he readies to dance again as the music starts. This time, he’s looking right at me. In the play, his character should be looking at me as though he was falling in love with me, but Baz looks like the exact opposite of that. He just looks… bored. 

I lean forward until my lips graze his jaw as I whisper, “I know you hate me Baz, but Romeo is supposed to be falling in love with John… act.” When I pull away, I see that his face has changed to (a very real looking) fake smile, and his eyes have softened. I don’t know how he manages to fill his eyes with love (I didn’t even know what that would look like- now I know that it looks like this), but he does. He really looks as though he’s falling in love. We glide across the floor with minimal tripping as we finally get to the end of the song. When it ends, Baz springs away from me and sneers. Oh how quickly things change.

…

The next rehearsal is the kiss scene. Baz and I take our places (we’ve been assigned to memorize these lines- I wanted to practise with him, but he laughed in my face) facing each other. He begins, standing right in front of me, eyes pleading, taking one of my hands with his.  (The text was altered to make more sense in modern times, so we can actually understand what the other is saying).

“Your hand is like a holy place that my hand is unworthy to visit. If you’re offended by the touch of my hand, my two lips are standing here like blushing pilgrims, ready to make things better with a kiss…” 

“Good pilgrim, you don’t give your hand enough credit. By holding my hand you show polite devotion. After all, pilgrims touch the hands of statues of saints. Holding one palm against another is like a kiss.” I say in turn, pulling him a little closer to me. (It’s not in the script, but it feels right for this scene).

“Don’t saints and pilgrims have lips too?” “Yes, pilgrim—they have lips that they’re supposed to pray with.”

“Well then, saint, let lips do what hands do. I’m praying for you to kiss me. Please grant my prayer so my faith doesn’t turn to despair.” I’m so lost in my head (thinking about Baz saying he wants me to kiss him, even though it’s just his character), that Baz has to squeeze my hand to remind me that we’re still in the scene. 

I shake out of my stupor and reply, “Saints don’t move, even when the grant prayers.”

“Then don’t move while I act out my prayer,” He responds, leaning in. I stay stone still while he presses his lips to my cheek (for the real showing we’ll do a real kiss, but we’re marking it for now with cheek kisses. Saving the real one for the showings was Baz’s idea- marking it with a cheek kiss was mine). His lips are cold and soft, and after he pulls away, I forget for a moment that we’re not alone in the classroom. I look around to see everyone staring at us. I’m red from head to toe. “Now my sin has been taken from my lips by yours.” He smiles as he says this, gazing into my eyes. 

“Then do my lips now have the sin they took from yours?” I smirk at him, mostly because that’s what my character would probably do. I try to push any love that I have inside me to me eyes, showing the fact that I’m falling in love (in the play). 

“Sin from my lips? You encourage crime with your sweetness. Give me my sin back.” It sounds like such a Baz thing to say that I’m caught off guard (for the tenth time today) for a moment. 

I lean forward and put my hands on the back of his neck, pulling him to me (because he’s too tall for me to just reach forward) and placing a kiss on his cheek. It lasts a bit longer than the first one, and people start catcalling. I roll my eyes and blush as I spring away from Baz. The move felt so natural. Like I had taken him by the neck before- but I haven’t. Not even to get in a good punch, to my recollection.

I spend the rest of the night thinking about his lips on my cheek.

…

It’s been months since our first rehearsal for Romeo and John, and tomorrow morning is the first showing. Over the months, Baz has gotten less defensive, and we’re mainly back to normal. But for four hours of every day, we have to act like we’re falling hopelessly in love, which I suppose isn’t normal. Tonight was our last rehearsal, and we ran the whole thing through twice… except for the kisses. We have the dancing and acting down no problem, but I’m worried about the first kiss. Not just because I have to snog my enemy of all people, but because it’s a huge climactic part of the play- the moment where they’ve realized that they’re falling in love. Baz and I have fought for the past seven and a half years- how the bloody hell are we supposed to snog like we’re falling madly in love? Crowley, I’m nervous about it.

So nervous, in fact, that I sit bolt upright in bed and spell the lights on. I swing my legs over the side of my bed, turning toward Baz (I know he’s up- he’s breathing his awake and thinking breathing) and say, “Baz, get up.” He groans, but sits up nonetheless. He doesn’t look tired, exactly, but his sneer falls flat when he tried to throw one at me.

“Aleister Crowley, what is so important, Snow?” 

“I’m nervous about the kiss tomorrow.” He rolls his eyes and runs a hand over his face. 

“For Christs’ sake, if you don’t want to do it that much, Snow, we’ll do a kiss on the cheek.” He turns slightly pink, like this conversation is making him uncomfortable. (He must’ve just eaten).

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” He quirks an eyebrow at me, but I continue on. “It’s just that we’ve never actually done it before, and I’m bloody worried that it won’t be good enough.”

“So what would put your dimwitted little mind to rest?” I think for a moment, and I think I know exactly what will make me feel better about it.

“We need to pratise- just once to make sure it will be good enough for the stage.”

“You’ve gone right loony, Snow.” He shakes his head and sneers at me. (A real one this time, not one that falls flat).

“Please, Baz? We’ll be doing it for the next week anyway. What’s one more?” He rolls his eyes, but stand up anyway. I stand up too, so we’re facing each other now, close enough that I can see flecks of blue in his grey eyes.

“Fine, Simon. One time.” He looks annoyed, but I’m thrown by his choice of words. Simon? My heart flutters with something that I don’t quite recognize, but I’m startled from my thoughts when he snaps three times in front of my face and raises an eyebrow. 

“Okay, so… how do we do it? Do we start by saying some of our lines, or just-” I’m cut off when Baz’s face turns soft for a moment before he cups my face and presses his lips to mine. I gasp and then sigh against his mouth, running my hands in his hair and on his stomach. My mouth opens to let him in, and his does do. We’re breathing heavily and I can barely even think. His mouth is cold but in a wonderful way. Even though he’s a bloke (and my enemy), this might just be the best kiss I’ve ever had.

It feels like fireworks. Like one of those kisses in the movies where the camera does a circle around them and zooms out and in while they just grab at each other. He grabs a fistful of my hair and I can’t help but sigh against his mouth. Our noses bump together, and it’s just so desperate. He’s my enemy and I’m supposed to hate this… hate him. This kiss is magic. This kiss is… forbidden. Now I understand what Romeo and Juliet is about. 

When he finally pulls away, we’re both breathing heavily and he simply says, “Good enough for the stage, Snow?” I just stand there, mouth open and eyes trained on him as he lays down in bed and spells the lights off. I stand there, slowly nodding, for what feels like hours before I eventually find my way to bed.

I am screwed.

…

It’s opening night tonight. This morning, Baz just went about sneering at me as per usual, but I couldn’t bring myself to growl back. Because that kiss just kept replaying itself in my mind over and over again. The way we clawed at each other… the desperation that I’m sure we both felt at that moment. This morning, Agatha told me she was ready to get back together, but I couldn’t let it happen. I just don’t love her like I thought I did. And after that kiss… nothing feels the same. Not for me, anyway. 

All through the first act, everything goes smoothly. I can’t stop staring at Baz. When we get to the dancing scene, it feels like everyone else just melted away and it was just him and I… floating across the stage. I kept staring at his lips, and in his eyes. I never wanted to stop. That kiss had to mean something to him. It meant everything to me.

When we get to the kissing scene, there aren’t bloody butterflies in my stomach- there are birds. I try to deliver all of my lines without my voice hitching. When he first kisses me, it’s not open-mouthed; it’s not supposed to be. But for the second one, when we both lean in to kiss each other… it can be as desperate as we want it to be. As soon as his lips touch mine, I’m consumed by him. Everything just melts away and it’s just Baz and his bloody mouth. We claw at each other, and I can barely even hear the applause from the audience- it all just seems so far away. It’s the end of Act 1, so the curtains close, calling for the end of the scene; and the kiss. But I don’t want to stop. We stay like that for two full minutes after the curtains close until eventually Agatha comes to rip me from him. As I walk off stage left, I look behind me and see Baz looking at me, looking as confused as I feel. 

“What the hell was that, Simon?!” She’s raging in my face, but I can barely focus on her. I’m ready for the next kiss scene. 

“What was what?” I ask like I don’t know. I know exactly what she’s talking about. What was that kiss with your mortal enemy? 

“You and Baz basically devouring each other in front of everyone! It was so irre-” She’s cut off by the professor coming around clapping and shrieking like a banshee.

“So spectacular! That was wonderful! You could see the love- the longing! Brilliant! In all of my years of teaching drama, I’ve never seen such great actors with such feigned chemistry. Bloody amazing!” She keeps on about what amazing acting it was… but I’m not so sure that it is just acting anymore. 

…

The rest of the play goes by without a hitch, and every scene I have with Baz is magic. I can feel the electricity when we kiss, and I can see the sparks when we just talk. It feels so forbidden, and I suddenly have a newfound respect for this play. At the end, Baz and I walk onto the stage together, hand in hand, bowing for the audience as they cheer and throw flowers at us. (There’s no way they actually brought the flowers- not many grow around here, so they must’ve just spelled them). Even as we exit the stage, I don’t let go of Baz’s hand. We walk back out with the rest of the cast and do the bows. The audience goes crazy, but all I’m focused on is the feeling of Baz’s hand in mine. 

As the curtain finally closes, everyone is cheering, and the cast on the stage is brimming with joy and excitement. I turn to Baz, grinning as I see that he’s smiling, too. “We did great, Baz!” He looks at me as though he’s still in character- with love in his eyes. I look back up at him (with love in my eyes too, I’m sure- there’s a lot to draw from at the moment), but I don’t have to act when I smile at him; it’s genuine.

In the middle of all the chaos, there we are. Baz and I. Romeo and John. Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch and Simon Snow- what have you. In the middle of everything, here we are, two boys with conflicting feelings, being told that we can’t be together. Being told by our friends and family that we were destined to kill each other. 

Everything goes quiet as the Love Story of Baz and Simon comes to a riveting conclusion (or maybe beginning), when I pull him closer and kiss him like there’s no tomorrow. Everyone is silent, but when we finally break apart, looking at the cast, everyone erupts in cheers. I laugh for just a moment before I’m pulled back into Baz. Suddenly I know how I managed to draw up the emotions of love in order to act…

Because in the middle of everything- all of the chaos, drama and heartbreak…

I have Baz. And that’s all I need to feel all of the love in the world.

[purplesurveys]

811

What do you like to drink in the morning? I’m not really a drinks person and I’m fine having all my meals with just water. I like coffee, but I usually drink it in the afternoon or at night. What color is your favorite hoodie? Don’t have one. My favorite sweater is gray though. Do you have a string of lights in your room? No. I remember wanting those as a teenager but I figured it was such a waste of electricity just to make my room look a little cuter, so that turned me off from the idea lol. Do you know what you are going to do today? Yeah, well today I was going to finally register for a social security number online, but given that I’m from the Philippines and the government only gives their 15% in everything they do, the website is absolute garbage and I can’t get past the first step of the process. Not surprising anymore. Other than that, I don’t have anything else to do. Does your heart hurt? My heart is missing so many people at the moment, but it’s not really hurting.

Who is not in your life that you wish was? I wish that my late maternal grandfather was still alive, if he counts. Who hurt you last? Probably Gabie. She doesn’t have a good hold of her emotions when she’s mad and tends to spit out hurtful things without thinking if it would affect me. I plan to have a talk with her about it once we can see each other again because it’s beginning to suck. Can you see the moon out your window right now? Continuing this survey four hours later, except now I’m tipsy as fuck haaaaaa. I dunno, I probably won’t be able to. It’s been raining all day and evening so I might only see clouds if I look out.

What makes you feel inspired? Seeing other people with insanely good work ethic. Are you mad at a friend right now? Nope, no reason to be. Do you have a friend who hurt you and doesn't care? I mean I’m pretty sensitive, so yeah I’ve had some friends say stuff to me that they probably didn’t think anything of, but hurt me in actuality. Is your room clean? Sure, it’s not too cluttered at the moment or anything like that. Can you see the sunrise from your window? No, it doesn’t happen on my side of the house. If you were a writer, would you have a pen name or use your real name? I’d use my real name. Idk, I’ve always found pen names to be a tad bit confusing. Did you go to Goodwill yesterday? I didn’t, and I don’t, because we don’t have whatever that is here. What is your friend's cat's name? I don’t have friends who have cats.  Do you celebrate your pet's birthdays? Continuing this survey 15 hours later because I was too dizzy to continue typing, lmao. I typically buy him a dog-friendly cupcake from the pet supply store at the mall near my school, and I serve him more food than usual for lunch and dinner. March is a busy month for me with school and stuff, so I haven’t gotten the chance to throw him a party. :( As a kid, did you celebrate your dolls' birthdays? (if you're a girl) I never liked playing with dolls. But no, I didn’t celebrate the ‘birthdays’ of my other toys. None of them lasted that long with me anyway haha. Are you wearing a hoodie right now? Nope. It’s chilly right now, but it’s not wear-a-hoodie cold. Did you ignore the last facebook post that bothered you, or did you comment? I had to ignore it because it was from my grand-aunt, and old people like to throw fits when you call them out so it was going to be a waste of my time if I commented. Do you need to go to the pharmacy today? No, no need for meds anymore yaaaaaay. Are you realizing that one of your friends isn't a real friend? Not at the moment. I’m happy with the circle I currently have. What was the name of one of your stuffed animals as a kid? I didn’t like stuffed animals either. This is more of my sister’s turf. Do you have a car? If so, did you give it a name? I do have a car but I’ve never given it a name. With my dad having plans to sell it soon, I’d rather it stay nameless for the remaining time it has with me so that I don’t get any more attached to it. If you were a famous singer, what would you want your hit song to be about? I’d want it to have an important message so I’ll probably write something about the bullshit that the government keeps pulling on us.

Did you skip church last week? No, unfortunately my mom makes us watch YouTube recordings of masses from a certain church. I usually hold up one of our couch pillows so that I don’t have to see the TV screen, but nevertheless I’m part of the audience and 30-45 minutes of my time are always wasted every Sunday. Do you have any big regrets? Just one big one. If you had to re-design an alien, instead of making them green with slanty-eyes and an egg-shaped head, what would you make it look like? I’m not creative enough for this question, so pass Do you have anyone who loves you, besides God? Do you have anyone who cares about you, besides God? Do you have anyone who you can go to for support? Yes, there’s a number of people I can think of. Do you normally write in cursive or print? Print, I write faster that way. Does your heart ache for something? Right now I’m kinda wanting pizza actually lol. Do you fit the millennial stereotype? I’m not even a millennial, dude. Would you want your first child to be a boy or a girl? Girl. I don’t want sons. If you were to write an article for a magazine, what would it be about? I’m in the mood to write an opinion piece about, again, the government. Do you have a blog? I have this Tumblr but it’s really more of a journal than anything else, so no, I wouldn’t say that I have an active blog. I did have several classes where our projects required us to make blogs and I never deleted those, so those blogs are still up albeit untouched for years now. If you were to start a blog, what would your first post be about? I can see myself starting a food review blog where I journal all the restaurants I dine in. Do you think you are good at writing poetry? I absolutely suck at it and hate when I’m required to make poems. Have you ever tried a science experiment that didn't work? I don’t think so. Have you ever had a teacher who looked like an alien? I dunno what an alien is supposed to look like but I also haven’t had a teacher who I thought looked weird. Do you take gummy vitamins? Not since I was 14 or 15. Are your feet wide? No. At least I don’t think they are lol. If you could do research right now for an essay, what topic would you choose to right about? Welp today is our Independence Day, so keeping in line with the timing it’d be nice to do a paper on something about Philippine history. What are your strongest attribute? Personally, I like the fact that I’m detail-oriented. That trait has been responsible for presentable Powerpoints, has saved otherwise careless co-workers, and has made sure that all research, written articles, etc. are free from critical errors, be it in data or grammar. Have you ever been tempted to commit a crime? Of course. I think we’ve all been tempted to do something like that at least once. Have you ever started writing a suicide letter? I’ve written a couple ones throughout the years. ...and then realized you wanted to live? No. Do you know anyone who had to evacuate for the latest hurricane? Not the last typhoon, no. But my friends in Marikina have had to evacuate for past calamities many times because they live right beside a river, and one that easily overflows at that. Do you write letters to friends? Only for special occasions, like for Christmas, retreats, if they were graduating, etc. Do you like to write letters? I do but it can get so tiring, especially because I prefer handwriting my letters. I used to write 40+ handwritten letters, one for each of my classmates, every year when we would go on retreat. The practice was super tiring though so now I typically just write letters for Gab. As a kid, did you find diagramming sentences fun? The what sentences??? I’ve no clue what you’re talking about. Whatever those are, I’m positive we never did that in school. What is your dream? Money. Where would you travel if you could? I’d go absolutely everywhere, but I’d start by finishing off Asia first. When it comes to traveling, I’ve always imagined myself taking my sweet time going local first before venturing out to farther countries. That being said, I’d love to go to Thailand, Laos, Vietnam, Cambodia, and Brunei. Do you feel all alone in the world? No. Do you own a piece of jewelry with an owl on it? Haaaaaaaaa, no. That’s such a Tumblr-in-2010 trademark. I did have owl stuff before, though. If you have a class ring, what color is the stone? Not a thing here. Does looking at the starry sky make you feel peaceful? It does. But if I’m really hellbent on feeling peaceful, I’d rather look at either a skyline at night OR into the sea during the day. Do you have a pen pal? If not, would you ever want to have one? No and no. Like I said, I’m pretty much retired from handwritten letters after writing 40+ of them every single year for around a decade lol. Do you drink hot chocolate? Only La Creperie’s San Gines hot chocolate. Sometimes I’ll drink hot chocolate at hotels too. Do you like apple cider hot or cold? I don’t drink that. Are you hurt by something a friend did to you recently? No, none of them have done or said something hurtful to me lately. Are you under 30? Yeup. Have you made a "30 Things to Do Before I'm 30" list? No. I don’t like keeping myself under a deadline. Do you paint rocks and hide them in your town? I’ve never done that before. Do you have a secret crush? Nope, am very vocal about my crush heh. What was the name of your first crush? Andi. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? Yes, groan. Do you like parodies? Not always. Some of them can be a little too cheesy for my liking. Are you a Taylor Swift fan? Not a chance. Have you ever kissed a picture? I probably have. Do you use window clings (stickers for your window)? No. Do you decorate for fall? We don’t have fall. What do you want to be for Halloween this year? Not really sure yet...I don’t even know if we’re getting Halloween this year. Has suicide crossed your mind a lot lately? [trigger warning] Not these days, and I’m really thankful for that. I’ve self-harmed twice during the course of the quarantine and while that’s disappointing at least I haven’t thought about being dead, and that’s what matters to me. Do you have supernatural abilities? ............No. Do you get enough hugs? Definitely not these days. I haven’t been hugged since March. I think I might cry when I get my first one. What labels do people try to put on you? I don’t know. You’d have to ask others because this isn’t the sort of thing people say to your face lol. Who do YOU (or rather, who does God) say you are? Are you happy? I’m not happy with the Jesus questions on here lmao but kidding aside, I wouldn’t say that I 100% am. I just feel like I’ve only been floating or existing recently, but not fully happy. Have you asked yourself recently, Why am I here? I hate questions like that, so no. What family member did you get your hair color from? Everyone of them. Filipinos have the same features. Have you ever found a secret compartment? No. If you designed a house, would you give it a secret room? I’ve seen some interesting ones on the internet that make me want a secret room of my own, but I think it’ll stay as a fantasy. Do you read horror stories? When I come across them, sure. I don’t actively look for them though. Do you ever comfort eat? Yeah, I did it a lot before quarantine. Yabu’s a great example of me comfort eating haha. Does stretching feel good? Yesssss. Do you have your wedding planned in your head already? I have scenarios that play in my head but I don’t have the specifics – color scheme, flowers, centerpieces, location, etc – mapped out yet. Would you ever adopt a child? Not my first choice. Are you ok today? I’d say so, yeah. It’s not hot today so that’s already good enough of a day for me lmao. Was the last book you read good? It was okay. It holds a great life story with okay writing. Wrestlers write autobiographies ALL THE TIME which means that not all of them will be a home run, and AJ’s was neither earth-shattering nor bad. I definitely didn’t appreciate the unintended-but-casual sexism/misogyny in it or the extreme hyperboles, but it’s AJ and I love her work nonetheless.