#and I have to leave by november
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I CAN GET THE STUDIO
#Paulina homeless in 2025 era cancelled#I had a huge emotional rollercoaster like actually all stages of grief#because it's kinda really small. it has a bathroom and separate kitchen but the living space is 18m²#so I asked everyone's opinion and the consensus is I should do it and would probably be an idiot if I didn't do it#and then it seemed like I wouldn't get it but the website glitched so now I do it was awful#then I cried a lot lol because I love where I live and kinda had in mind I could stay half a year longer than this...#but the housing crisis is awful and I get paid ass and this is cheapest I could ever get it'll be like 300 rent#and I have to leave by november#it's really not that bad I'm just a drama queen. the location is quite nice and I'll fit all my stuff there#though I'll have to go back to a single bed probably
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broke: Ahsoka and Rex swap outfits and it’s horribly obvious plus fits badly
woke: Ahsoka and Rex swap outfits and look absolutely amazing in their new fits
#Oh and ik this is basically a shitpost#But I think it’s kinda funny that both are willing to swap identities with the outfits and everything#But both have that one thing they can’t leave behind#For Rex it’s his gun and Ahsoka her braid#Because Rex is a protector and a soldier and can’t leave behind his reason for life#Hell fighting is the only reason he exists#And then Ahsoka can’t abandon the Jedi braids because she is so tied into her culture that she can’t cope without it#She can’t stand the idea that this thing that marks her to be Jedi could be gone#And this is only amplified after her leaving the order#Anyways#this was supposed to be a Halloween post#but I forgot about it so now it’s not a Halloween post#It’s a November 17th post#Hehe I think this might be the most tags I’ve ever written#my doodles#fanart#star wars#art#tcw#ahsoka tano#my thoughts#artists on tumblr#digital art#501st battalion#captain rex#the clone wars#star wars the clone wars#clone wars#501st legion#outfit swap
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Fluent Freshman - Part 20
PREVIOUS
FF had watched more than a few self-defense videos when he believed that Andrew Minyard was looking for a dark alley to stab him in. He had learned how to turn the attacker’s momentum against them. Had learned about disarming the person trying to stab him.
He’d even had Matt teach him a few punches claiming that it was for the dust-ups that tended to happen on the court.
He, naturally, does not use any of that knowledge because his mind immediately reverts into Lizard panic mode the moment Jackson Plank takes another step forward with a knife (HUGE. Is it wild that he is thinking about Crocodile Dundee right now?)
“If you come quietly you won’t get hurt.” Jackson says and he reverts to who he is as a person and he freezes. His bravery was used up maybe it was only ever tied to great pump up songs and now in the silence of the alley he is back to being Stone-Faced Smith.
“You’re going to dial up Wesninski and if you don’t say EXACTLY what I tell you to then I’m going to have you SING in agony.”
Y’know in that moment he stops thinking about Crocodile Dundee.
He thinks about a movie that is far more ingrained in his mind than any number of self-defense videos or one-off lessons with Matthew Boyd where he’d been trying not to flinch. A movie he had watched in better days with his family and had been a favorite of his Grandma’s (and his).
He thinks about Miss Congeniality.
Sandra Bullock as Gracie Hart has taught him everything he ever truly needs to know when he takes a step back and Jackson comes at him.
He strikes right at Jackson’s nose with the palm of his hand.
“SON OF A-“
The knife is dropped and FF kicks it under a dumpster.
FF grabs the single weapon he has on his person.
The McDonald’s Megamind Happy Meal Light Effects Brainbot.
He points the LED light straight at Jackson’s eyes and just like Aaron in the car on the way back, “Shit, that’s bright!” And now completely blinded by a combination of watery eyes and LED McDonald’s toy he proceeds to SING just as Gracie Hart had taught him.
S - Solar Plexus. He punches Jackson there as hard as he can.
I - Instep. He smashes his booted foot down on the inside of Jackson’s shoes (who the fuck wears LOAFERS to a kidnapping?)
N - Nose. He’d feel bad about hitting it again if Jackson wasn’t y’know…a hitman out to hurt Captain Neil.
G - Groin. He may have to give himself just half a second to apologize to all of mankind for what he is about to do. His step brothers had definitely kicked him in the groin plenty of times to try and get a reaction. It’s an art to not let anyone know that your ball has retreated up into lower intestine. He kicks Jackson as hard as he can (collegiate athlete) with the boots that Nicky had let him borrow. He is right on target with the toe of his shoes.
Jackson goes down.
The next thing he does is not something Gracie Hart had taught him but does still feel like the right thing to do in this situation. He kicks Jackson in the head and the man goes limp.
If FF throws both hands up in the air and lets out a “I am Miss Congeniality!” Victory cry into the alleyway well no one is around or awake to know that.
He feels like he deserves a sash and a crown and some flowers.
He looks down at Jackson and then over at the van the man had hopped out of. He was definitely PLANNING on kidnapping Captain Neil so he probably has like…some kind of restraint?
Well, better to completely subdue this guy before he tries to figure out the game plan for Romero. Wait, what’s that next to the Crocodile Dundee knife, are those...?
***
Roland is calling for a second time.
Andrew had let it go to voicemail the first time. It was usually Roland complaining about Nicky, Aaron, or Kevin doing something exceptionally stupid in their inebriated states. They have a system. Roland will call and leave a voicemail detailing the dumb shit his family has gotten up to and then he’ll let it go.
If Roland calls twice then there’s an issue.
Arm still around Neil’s shoulders he answers the phone, “What.” He asks.
“You need to help your new friend. There’s some guy following him, he’s armed and dangerous and looking for someone to grab to get Neil’s attention. He tried to lead the guy outside but he’s standing watching it for now so there might have already been someone waiting?” Roland gets out in a rush and Andrew is up and moving towards the stairs even as he’s closing the phone to disconnect the call.
Neil, of course, is right on his heels. “What is it? Did something happen?” Neil asks and they are up the stairs and pushing past Frank and his stupid pineapple shirt. Andrew spots Nicky and he spots Aaron.
“Get Nicky and Aaron somewhere safe. I need to go help Smith with something.” He says because whoever this is wants Neil and Andrew will not let Neil get within grabbing distance and won’t mention it. Neil, blessedly, does what Andrew asks without question.
Andrew scans the crowd and finds a man whose gaze goes between his phone and the back door.
A face that Andrew had memorized.
One of Nathan’s surviving men.
In the same Zip Code as Neil.
And that man has the audacity to still be breathing.
He looks and Nicky and Aaron (drunk, drugged, and useless because Andrew had wanted them to be) are with Neil and Roland is directing them to the backroom.
Andrew goes out the alley and can feel Romero’s eyes on him.
He’s prepared for a lot of things to see out in that alley. He’s angry that FF hadn’t just come down and grabbed him and Neil (he does not need TWO martyrs) and he wants to know what the fuck FF was thinking (or if he was thinking at all). Even with that anger he does not wish to see FF’s blood spilled all over an alleyway because Andrew’s family needed to be protected and FF was the only one sober enough and aware enough to do it.
He knows what Nathan’s men are capable of.
Knows that Romero was one of Nathan’s best so if there is someone out in the alleyway then it’s likely one of his other bests.
FF doesn’t even know how to use a knife. He had asked and FF had firmly declined every time Andrew had brought it up after the first fainting incident. “I’m not interested in learning that. No.” Had been the standard response.
He knew FF had at least taken a lesson or two from Boyd on throwing a punch considering the one he shot out a week ago when a Striker came at him after the third time FF intercepted a pass.
Still, Andrew had not anticipated coming out into the alleyway and finding an unharmed FF securing an unconscious Jackson Plank’s arms behind his back with fuzzy handcuffs.
“Am I interrupting something?” He asks and FF looks up at him with a flush on his cheeks.
“It’s not my fault this is a weird sex alleyway! They’re the first thing I found on my way over to the van to look for actual restraints.” FF says immediately and Andrew almost laughs at the insanity of it. “Wait, where’s Captain Neil?” FF looks around nervously.
“He’s with Aaron and Nicky in the backroom. Roland gave me your S.O.S.” Andrew says even as he quickly makes his way away from the door and towards FF. “Romero is watching the door. Let’s give him a reason to come out.” He says going over to Jackson and when he rolls the man over he raises an eyebrow at the piss stain on his pants and the blood dripping down his nose.
He looks to FF who resolutely does not look back at him.
It’s a story he’ll get out of his friend eventually. Looks like FF didn’t really need those knife lessons. Something settles a bit more in Andrew, it’s nice to have someone else in their group that could handle themselves in a fight.
Andrew finds a phone and FF rolls Jackson back onto his stomach, “He could choke on his own blood.” He shrugs and Andrew wouldn’t care if Jackson choked on his own blood in fuzzy handcuffs in a back alley but he can understand FF not wanting a murder charge.
Andrew looks at the phone and sees the the swipe pattern clear as day. It takes him two tries to get the order right but then Jackson’s phone is available for him to get over to the texting app.
The texts he reads there make him angry. There were a lot of plans on what the two of them were going to do to Neil before his body was offered up to a different crime family to show that Romero and Jackson had no loyalty left to the Wesninski line.
He types out a text to Romero that will have the jackass come out thinking everything had gone well and they had two hostages. He looks over to FF, “You ready for round two?” He asks.
“There isn’t a tap out option right?” FF asks and Andrew laughs at the joke.
Always cool under pressure it seems.
“No.”
“Then yeah, I guess just hit send.” FF says with a shrug.
Andrew does just that.
MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU
NEXT
Didn’t wanna leave ya’ll hanging on that particular cliffhanger for too long ;)
@i-have-three-feelings @blep-23 @dreamerking27 @andreilsmyreligion @belodensetdust @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world @obscureshipsandchips @booklover242 @whataboutmyfries @sahturnos @pluto-pepsi @dreamerthinker @passinhosdetartaruga @leftunknownheart @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme @tayspots @nick-scar @crazy-fangirl2524 @blue-jos10 @stabbyfoxandrew @splishsplashyouropinionistrash @sammichly @the-broken-pen @bitchesdoweknowu @very-small-flower @ghostlyboiii @its-a-paxycab @bisexual-genderfluid-fan @cheesecookie @theoneandonlylostsock @foxsoulcourt @blueleys @adverbialstarlight @elia-nna @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner @nikodiangel @foxandcrow-inatrenchcoat @hallucinatedjosten @satanic-foxhole-court @vexingcosmos @chalilodimun @insectsgetcooked @angry-kid-with-no-money @queer-crows @lillyndra @themugglemudperson��� @readertodeath @apileofpillows @mortalsbowbeforeme @hellomynameismoo @next-level-mess @youreonlylow @interstellarfig @notprocrastinatingatalltoday @percyjacksonfan3 @queenofcrazy27 @bsmr261 @ghostlyscares @spencellio @adinthedarkroom @harpymoth @sufferingjustalilbit @anxietymoss @oddgreyhound @ohno-myhyperfixation-itsbroken @ken22789 @atiredvampire @isoldescorner @not--a--pipedream @azure-wing @bushbees @roonilwazlib-main @crumplelush @foldedaces-paperbirds @thesenseinnonsense @let-tyrants-fear @ketchupfriesandallthingsnice @legowerewolf @deadlydodos @but-we-respect-his-craft @cariniqe @zanypersonapricotbiscuit
The requests to be added to the tag list keep being spread out across a few different areas. If I missed you please just ask again in the replies I promise I just missed you.
As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it right but you didn’t get a notification there might be something switched around in your settings that won’t let me tag you properly?
#Fluent Freshman AU#I would like to thank Sandra Bullock's performance for allowing me to write the stupidest fight scene ever#I would also like to thank my sister for getting engaged on April 25th so Miss Congeniality was floating around in the noggin already#Andrew: Smith is really cool under pressure. He can make jokes at a time like this.#FF: What if no one believes me that I found these handcuffs in the alley?#He's too focused on the embarrassment of using those handcuffs to focus on the fact that round 2 is about to happen#Did my 'research' involve finding out EXACTLY what McDonald's happy meal toys were being offered November 2010#Perhaps#The internet really does just have like a whole shitload of people who will just have a database of seemingly useless knowledge#I love those people#Neil may be pacing up a storm in the back room but Keeping Nicky away from the dance floor is a full time job#For ONCE Aaron is the easy one to deal with#Roland just gave him a virgin drink and he's happy#AFTG#AFTG OC#AFTG AU#AFTG Fic#My Fics#It's shorter because I didn't wanna leave ya'll hanging#FF - Pt. 20
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Not to harsh your joy regarding your personal project, (which does sound awesome!) the fact that you keep answering the "can I do fanfic?" questions with "technically yes, but have you considered not doing that?" does not actually *feel* very fanfic friendly. (Especially for anyone who enjoys fanfic as a hobby and isn't also an ofic writer. For example, I personally write almost exclusively character studies that are an explicit reaction to canon; there is no real way to write that sort of thing except as fanfic.)
Which is just a long-winded way of requesting that you maybe consider less of a caveat with the FAQ if you make one, please.
oh that was definitely not my intention, thanks for the ask! I think it was mostly just because I got that same question a few times in a row from various anons within the same time span (including some that were not published publicly), it just happened that I was thinking of my own project(s, plural now) in the last day when I answered those two, for those who want an extra creative challenge.
There's a reason my own original thing has been in my head for the last ten years without me actually writing it while I've written and posted tons of fanfiction, and even now some of my original works are going to be based on Arsene Lupin, so they'd technically be considered fanfiction since they're based on and use an established work for the characters and settings --
--writing completely original fic *is* harder, and that's exactly why I'm *suggesting* (not requiring!) that people consider taking 1 out of short story 4 challenges to look at their work in a new light.
90% of what I read and (until I actually start and finish my original works) 100% of what I've written in my life is fanfic. I have nothing against fanfic, otherwise I woudn't even be interested in creative writing.
But its also not a diss to say "Would you consider looking at your [fanfic] writing from a new angle and try to figure out different ways of going about it?"
Honestly, being able to even consider this option *as a fun extra challenge* is meant to help improve your writing and creative skills; it's not meant as a cheap shot at people who choose to write fanfiction because I my self write and read tons of it,
it's me saying "if you want even more practice at creative writing during these monthly challenges, try branching out a little bit from your comfort zone, you may be pleasantly surprised."
People who write and read fanfiction already have tons of creative experience, and if people like me and many other fanfic writers who one day dream of being published authors, want to broaden our horizons and seek new experiences, one of the easiest exercises is to take something we're planning on writing or already wrote, and see what we would change to make it brand new and standalone--
-- something that not only helps you come up with new ideas, but also will help when it comes time to *edit*, which can be, depending on the length and complexity of your story, can be a complicated process:
whether that means having to delete scenes entirely,
changing what a character says,
altering an aspect of the worldbuilding to fix plot holes
, re-writing your character so they're not overpowered because it was ruining the stakes and tension,
changing the POV of chapters because it was ruining the flow of the story,
etc etc etc.
I love fan fiction.
I love reading it and I love writing it, and for many people who take on monthly writing challenges, it is a way to test ourselves and gear ourselves up and prove to ourselves that not only can we write x amount of words, but it proves to ourselves that we are *capable of creating*, and for many creatives, that ultimately leads to crafting our own unique stories;
if you're already taking place in a monthly writing challenge, why not push the bounds a little bit *if you're so inclined* and test the waters? Especially when you're surrounded by a community who is cheering you on, every step of the way?
Every Nanowrimo I ever won was fanfiction. Heck, even not during November I once did 40k words in two weeks for a fic.
I always stalled out when I tried to write original works;
it is much easier to start small with a single short story than it is to try to write an entirely original novel, and my encouraging people to try baby steps by *experimenting* with one short story out of four in a month is not meant to be a diss against fanfiction,
but an *encouragement to those like me* who were so eager to write original works but floundered when I tried to jump into the deep end and felt disheartened.
Many fanfic authors aspire to write original fics, and thats who that challenge is for, for the people who want to write original works but are too afraid to fully commit; I'll still be writing and posting fanfiction even if I become a published author, even If I just have to come up with a few new pen-names to post them under.
There's absolutely no judgement on anyone who wants to write fanfiction for these challenges, my "caveat" as you say, is only there as encouragement to those like me who are afraid to take the first step, or uncertain of how to even *begin* that first step, not any kind of condemnation.
TL;DR:
I did not mean for my responses on the "can I write fanfiction" to come off as rude or looking down on fanfiction, its meant to be an encouragment to all the people like me who love fanfic and started out writing fanfiction, and dream of writing original works to take the first step, with a community of like-minded people all taking the same challenge.
Like every other challenge aspect of these events, taking a fanfic idea and turning it into an original short story is completely optional and meant as inspiration, just like following prompts for events is not mandatory, and even completing the 30k word goal is not mandatory; the goal for this month is to create, get in the habit of creating, and having fun with it!
#replies#long post#I gotta leave for work but hopefully this clarifies?#I might just be reading too much into it or vice versa?#my posts are not meant to be rude or an attack but theyre meant to be#encouragement and inspiration for those looking for it#just like having prompts and the option of doing short stories for november instead of one long complete work etc#writing a thesis statement - a dissertation - a fanfic - an original work - a technical manual-- all of these are still writing#this whole event is optional with additional optional challenges and prompts meant to spark creativity and flexibility
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#undertale#frisk#flowey#utau#undertale au#premaposting#no idea what to name this yet but its an au ive been building for a while now#also yes frisk's hair intentionally mimicks the floppy ears the dreemur family has#um i dont know when im gonna post this#so if i post this before really explaining the au#heres the explaination:#in short this happens at the end of true pacifist where the game continues on than having a definite end#a few months after. frisk and papyrus leave to the underground to meet everyone and p much uproot flowey and bring him to the surface#even though he can choose to leave or not. though didnt want to initially#i think i placed winter alarm 6 months post true pacifist end?#so about another half year later. or a full year since the route. flowey kinda gets adopted?????#chilled around frisk a lot anf accidentally ended up as their brother#and then they grewed up. this is like#7 years since true pacifist#a pretty good amount of stuff has changed#so thats why they look a lot older#OH WAIT I FORGOT TO MENTION#like frisk and toriel decided to have flowey pick a bday since he forgor in this au#like what it was#its now like november 2nd bc all souls day and marigolds associated with the holiday#IK HE ISNT A MARIGOLD#BUT THATS THE CLOSEST IM GETTING#oh so on like the 2nd bday frisk w alphys get him a soul and that why he can life now#proceeds to post this without lore explaination because school look in tags yall#utpyrt
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Ok so I've heard some off comments about folk so I'd like to remind everyone that folk and bluegrass is not a fucking white genre and white people did not invent bluegrass.
The banjo is fundamentally an african-american instrument with similar instruments still being played in a similar way to banjos here in america. Jokes about hearing banjos as code for being near some rural racists remove the fact that the banjo is a fundamentally black instrument.
And the fact that you hear about Flatt and Scruggs and Bill Monroe but not Arnold Schultz is criminal, some of the most foundational artists in the modern conception of folk were BIPOC.
In addition some of the best (imo) folk artists out there are black! Like Rhiannon Giddens, Kaia Kater, and Tray Wellington.
I'm just begging y'all to stop seeing the south and appalachia as a stronghold for white racists and acknowledge the massive contributions of black and indigenous people.
#babble babble#heard a person at a show make a comments about banjos and ive been dwelling on this#hmm dont know how to tag this#gonna leave it fresh#Also in grabbing links for this i saw that rhiannon is touring in november but like. 6 hours away from me#might have to bully someone with a car about that
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Pretty proud of how far I’ve come this year
#I have struggled with crippling anxiety for a long time and this year I really wanted to overcome it and become more independent#like#I used to be absolutely terrified of leaving the house#things like driving and going places alone would make me have crazy panic attacks#but this year I’ve done a lot and I’ve overcome a lot and gained so much confidence#I’ve flown across the country twice this year#driven on some pretty intimidating roads like the highway and freeway#gone on solo bike rides for miles through the woods#eaten tons of new foods#I know those sorts of things might seem very simple and normal everyday things#but I have ocd and it can make my anxiety pretty bad#it can also make a lot of my fears rather irrational#likes like trying new foods and going new places are genuinely intimidating for me#bc it makes me feel like I’m going to die lol#but I’ve done ALOT of things I was scared to do#I’ve come along way#and it may seem like boring basic stuff to some people#but considering I couldn’t leave my house two years ago without panicking to the point of losing feeling in my hands and feet#I think I did pretty good lol#I’m starting to feel like a confident person again#I’m starting to feel like I can LIVE again#and it’s pretty nice#just wanted to write this out somewhere lol that’s all#maybe it will be helpful for anyone struggling in similar ways#to see that improvement is possible#lol anyways happy November#mae rambles
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Nothing in the world can compare to Autumn trees in Canada.
Feel free to add on your own! I want to see the beauties. 🌲🍁🍂
#autumn#trees and forests#leaves#Canada#autumn aesthetic#september#october#november#my photos#photograph#original photograph#photography#outdoor photography#pictures#I would have more but my old phone broke so I lost hundreds of my tree photos.#:')
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fun fact: Them
#willos nation I have an important announcement to make#eyagh *disintegrates into powder and scatters into the wind forever*#that's all thank you for coming to my ted talk.#barbie mariposa#barbie mariposa and her butterfly fairy friends#barbie mariposa and the fairy princess#Had to attach a link to the last image because tumblr fucked the quality so bad#barbie#barbie movies#On a different note. They go on chore runs together. In my mind#I should've drawn that but you're going to hear it from me here instead#She invites him out on a laundry run to cut down on the being bored out of her mind and notices he's actually enthusiastic about it#Because like. Having grown up mostly sheltered and relatively(self-imposed or otherwise) isolated he#hadn't really had the experience of just Hanging Out very much#like hell yeah an excuse to leave the palace without having to deal with socializing with strangers. too much.#because she can deal with that. And i mean. he likes hanging out with her.#So she just keeps inviting him over for other menial chores. He's actually kindof competent at it and she really doesnt mind the extra help#cakeart#Also. also. She does poses for him. to draw. paint. whatever#Not in a weird way. in a figure drawing way. understand my vision. look me in the eye.#Artist/muse scenario in general. consider. consider. i'm correct#This post has been in my drafts since november it's not going to show up in the tags if I keep talking
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DAMN. Just finished chapter 17 of Firefight and whooh. I cannot articulate how excited and thrilled I am for this new direction. I love your Death Wish fic and i'll be absolutely damned if I don't continue to love this one with just as much, if not more, fervor. You're an incredible writer. You immerse me in the environments, the sensations, the inner workings, and the emotions of these characters while your words seep both their souls and yours. I really just wanted to tell you how enjoyed your writing is. I look forward to each update with patience and support, and if you chose to end it, life got in the way, or any other reason, I would continue to support you as a writer and artist while repeatedly reading your works. Death Wish is the length of a decent novel and I've reread it about 4 times, each experience unique and loved because there's always something new and poignant to find in your writing. There's so much love and intent in your work, and it's so greatly appreciated. You're my favorite fic writer, thank you for all that you do. Keep doing what you love!!
waghs at you quietly. dude thank you so much you are far too kind to me aaaaaaaa
i have still a LOT of firefight to go!!!! there’s gonna be a planned hiatus in april as i am going away but i have never once abandoned a story and i won’t start now LMAO
#firefight au#fic stuff#I’ll be honest I’ve been VERY nervous abt having a hiatus as someone who updates so regularly#I don’t want to leave anyone hanging and I definitely feel like I’ve set the expectations for updates pretty high LMAO#but unfortunately I will be physically unable to update as I will have zero computer access#when I started writing firefight in NOVEMBER I had no idea I’d still be writing it when this trip came around#that I’ve been planning for uh. four years. so.#but I promise promise promise the moment I’m back home I will be continuing hiatus is not a death knell#just a legit physical limitation LMAO#I’m seriously planning to bring a notebook with me and write in it even if I can’t update so here’s hoping it doesn’t get wet HAHAHA#ok for real thanks for the lovely message I just wanted to use this chance to warn people bc it’s been bugging me that I haven’t said#LOVE YOU SMOOCHES YOU ARE TOO KIND XO REM
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Embracing the coziness of my home this winter.
#living in the woods is great until it’s winter and I work 55 miles away in the city#and I leave my home in darkness and return in darkness even in early November#and as much as I love being a preschool teacher it is incredibly draining and I have little time for the other things that bring me joy…#…during the week (especially since most of those things involve being outside)#but curling up on my couch with a book about the natural world while facing these collections is a really lovely way to spend my evenings#mousemumbles#hopefully tumblr doesn’t completely butcher the image quality so y’all can see the book titles if you want
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can i PLEASE get my creative drive back ;~;
#i just wanna write#but instead all i'm doing is spiraling#and absolutely psyching myself out for november and U G H !!!!!!#really can i just finally fucking recover from burnout can i PLEASE get some genuine rest and time off#i never fucking have time off i've always been forced to go do something somewhere when i use my leave#it's never been FOR ME#even the two weeks i took off last year for mental health!!!! ended up having to do shit in the middle of it all!!!!!! like!!!!!!!!!!!!#hate this stupid shit burnout culture we've created for ourselves#can't wait to die at the ripe old age of maybe 60 bc of chronic stress#negative
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i will be FINE everything is FINE this is FINE
#i only speak chaos₊ ⊹☆⋆。★₊ ⊹#venting again⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪#so yeah i have not been having a good december. or november. or last four days of october.#school holidays in general.#im kinda only keeping it together because i promised alot of people id stay alive#and because i dont want to hurt anyone by leaving#but i wanna disappear. really badly. idk.#we stay silly ig.#i dont know anymore.#i want to disappear but i feel like that would be selfish#and i know that if i yk it would hurt a lot of people.#which is why i dont want to#but im so tired#so so tired#tw sui implied#tw sui ideation
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Guess who :3c (Patreon)
#My art#Webkinz#Diamond#Ukadevlog#Ghostkinz#Ta-dah! My November behind-the-scenes project was this! The poll was for this reason! Though I already knew I'd start with her haha#Have a little preview to start us off - I have Lots of thoughts to each part of development I ended up in but I want to roll them out slowly#Not everything all at once anyway haha - thoughts get all jumbled now that I'm on this side of things pft#I wasn't able to finish A Version I'd be willing to publish in just a month - even then I only worked on Ghostkinz about 3 days a week so#But for the time I spent I'm quite pleased with how its shaped up so far! :D I got to implement a lot!#Actually learning-then-implementing-then-learning-then-implementing - it's a loop I've been out of for such a long time now :0#Really interesting to fall back into after so long away haha#A lot of my other projects have been Pick Up One Thing and then do that forever and I was tired-tired of that!!#So going into this project knowing that I'd only have November to Get Guud at as much of it as possible and then that was it#I think it helped propel me - didn't end with me getting stuck on Perfecting Just This One Thing#I'd read a bit and then go utilize it and then come back and read some more of Zarla's template/walkthrough - compelling system!#I still couldn't manage to actually finish in a month but I got up to Phase 4!! Previous attempts at Ghost-making has gotten stalled at 1!!#Maaaybe 2 but never anything beyond that - and while I didn't actually Finish any Phase apart from 1 I still read through much much more!#On top of the learning aspect being fun ♪ getting to understand some of the more technical side ahh - it was also just fun to read haha#Like a course that can be silly hehe ♫ Enjoyable even outside of getting to make a little guy for my screen haha#But also yes that too!! I'm really glad I finally settled on an idea that I feel confident in seeing through#The best part about reaching for the Webkinz style is that Webkinz uses vectors - I've gone on record multiple times as loving vectors#They're an exceptionally easy medium to manipulate and that was The Thing that had been holding me back from committing to Ghosts prior#Drawing every single thing when I already struggle to plug in my tablet...no...... But Vectors#You can see here that Diamond's expressions are just a matter of tilting her head and moving her tail - so so soooo simple with vectors#Being able to super-quickly put out a lot of different expressions and animations and piecemeal everything together...yes..........#And for what further I have in mind :3c It's really all I could ask for in an art style to seek ah ♪ Just right for my purposes!#I thought it'd be nice to show off Diamond-for-real as her plush next to her digital version as well :D She's still the only OG8 I have#I want more!! I'd love to have a code for her as well haha - secretly just started this so I can have a digital Diamond lol#Plush-Diamond actually wears a necklace these days but I opted to leave it off her for the photoshoot - maybe once I figure out clothes haha
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i do not like thanksgiving (week)
#1. late november? it’s Dark. all the time. pure darkness#also my dad is neurotic for no reason about the electricity bill despite how much money he spends on random other crap#and he will get really nasty with you if you leave a light on for one nanosecond longer than it needs to be on#so like only if you’re in the room which means the house is dark all the time and you’re expected to just walk around like that#even though having a light on at your destination if you’re moving back and forth helps#like sorry i don’t want to feel depressed and sleepy all the time#2. family over means i have to socialize even though i straight up have nothing to say#i think this one is self explanatory i think we all know the feeling of having to perform around relatives and to be friendly#i really do try my best i’m not like a hardcore introvert i’m just boring and easily bored#if i have nothing to say but i am expected by law to be present at the gathering#i will cope with looking awkward by constantly snacking on whatever food is present#so i just eat like a ton of crackers or whatever over several hours#and i feel like absolute crap#like blehhh wdym peanut m&ms will make your body annoyed at you#3. i can’t cook i’ll be so real so i can’t even feel like i’m being helpful#i would gladly help out i’ll just always need someone to hold my hand and i’ll be in the way#so it’s better for me to stay away#but then it looks like i’m just lazy#or again antisocial#and then that means i gotta do cleanup and dishes#4. going back to the Darkness and sleepiness. all of the above things are bad enough over say christmas#but at least then i can relax bc the semester is over it’s a real break#but thanksgiving? man i am still busy. i have to work from home. i am stressed#my instinct is to hibernate and relax bc of the darkness and holiday vibe#however i’m not allowed to#but it’s hard to be productive#harder still when you have to operate under someone else’s rules#peach rambles
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Y'all are never going to believe what happened in the Barnes & Noble today-
#art#my art#it was literally so random#i hear music what is not coming from the radio and suddenly i see papa smurf#ALSO APPARENTLY MY FRIEND ALSO SAW THEM EARLIER NOVEMBER???#i was sitting in the cafe area and everyone sitting here was just giggling because w h a t?#i felt a lil bad tho bc an employee was following them and asking them to leave#but holy shit bro#nothing could have prepared me LMAO#drawing#digital drawing#procreate#comic#comic art
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