#and I enjoy reading and watching movies
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I don’t feel a North Star pull in my life in terms of purpose or plan, and I was searching for one for a long time and idk I think it’s ok that there isn’t one.
#I found a subsection of jobs that I can do#which is neat#and I enjoy reading and watching movies#and paying attention to sports in some capacity#I struggle with intermittent period of depression#it be what it be#idk approaching 30#there’s a settling I feel#in my life#and it’s nice
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Mostly spoiler free summary of my viewing experience
#The boy and the heron#how do you live#studio ghibli#ghibli#in all honesty that movie was legitimately so fantastic and im like changed as a person#Story wise as well! It hits really hard if you know a bit about miyazaki and his legacy. Its a very personal movie i think#And you can feel it in every aspect#The eng dub voice actors were really good as well and the animation was beautiful as always#Also really loved the tone!!! The story really relied a bit on the use of negative space in both sound and pacing and i enjoyed that alot#in conclusion go read a article about miyazaki and his son and then go watch the movie it’s probably going to be one of my favorites#image id in alt
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Yuppeeee !!
#navy arts#team fortress 2#tf2#meet the tf2 artist#tf2 medic#tf2 demoman#tf2 soldier#tf2 sniper#navy ocs#persona#sona#ive known tf2 since i was a kid but never got into it cuz it was a shooter game and i wasnt into those back then#but yakno i enjoyed the fancreations i saw and the meet the team videos#in the middle of 2023 i read the comics and LOVED them and got into it for a couple months or so but that died out in favor for other thing#then i reread them in the middle of this year (2024) and started actually playing the game ! :}#and now its taken over my brain 👍#oh! the thing that initially got the 2023 hyperfix going was actually emesis blue lol. someone i knew made an amv/edit of it and i thought#it was sick as hell so i watched the movie and i really wanted to know the context so i read the comics
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I’ve never felt so conflicted about a franchise in my life but at least this dude was hot
#I watched conquering the demons and demons strike back at 3am last night and I have to say I like the first one more#but not by a lot#like I wanted so much to like this movie#but fucking Duan man…#like I read the plot beforehand so I wouldn’t be caught off guard by anything but DAMN that SA scene was sooo much worse watching it#girl this is not the girlboss pussy slay move you think it is queen#I liked her character so much too before that cuz she’s so cool but the unconsented captive fuck or die foreplay was NOT the move#then she had the nerve to rip up sanzang’s book and turn to us and be like you know what I think I still have a chance - GIRL HES RUNNING#then they had the nerve to make him fall in love with her anyway boy you a VICTIM#then the second one just had [redacted] in it and I did not enjoy looking at his face for two hours - ruined the whole experience#also I have to say that was the worst iteration of Sanzang I’ve ever seen I was actually happy when I thought wukong was boutta kill him#I talk all this shit but I really did like the effects and monster designs in the movie they were so cool#also I thought the first sanzang actor was sooo cute and pathetic why didn’t they keep him 😭#well it’s for the best I wouldn’t wanna have seen him turn abusive like they wrote him in the second movie#also dsb is the only movie in which I can understand the wukong and tripitaka shippers cuz that ENDING SCENE yeah I saw it#oh right my tags sorry lol#digital art#my art#journey to the west#jttw sun wukong#conquering the demons#demons strike back#sun wukong#also his glowup in between movies is so funny lmfao#if you couldn’t accept him at his conquering the demons you don’t deserve him at his demons strike back#at least dsb gave me this human version of wukong please sir just one chance just one sniff-
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eddie has no business to have such a full plump pink lips like that no wonder venom only want him to be his host brah
#everybody say thank you tom hardy for being the rare white men who actually have lips#nah cuz his lips got me distracted so many time#plus how he always look wet sad pathetic and a loser#that's what all men should be look like#I'm enjoying venom y'all#haven't watch the 3rd movie eventho I've already seen spoiler everywhere lmao#but funnily I decided to read some symbrock fics for shits and giggles and I was like damn ppl really cooked good meals here#and I end up watching the movies#I think I've seen the first movie already but I don't remember anything so I just count as first watch for both movies#eddie brock#venom#symbrock#vvildside's ramblings
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#i was making this character before the robocop thing happened to me but now im really struggling to let myself give this character traits i#really enjoy without feeling like im plagiarising robocop.#even design wise#like the face was supposed to be ripping off cyclops if anything#im struggling! if u read this pls lmk if im overthinking or am like totally not overthinking#i was watching cyborg movies in order to expand my like. mental library of cyborgs for this character. thats why this happened to me.
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u kno, I don’t think that people consider enough the possibility (and very high probability) that Snape wasn’t mean to student’s because he wanted to, but more so because he had to. Not saying they he was nice. That man sure as hell wasn’t nice, especially when reading from Harry’s point of view.
But let’s consider for a moment the objective circumstances: Severus Snape was a past Death Eater, who at 21-ish years old changed sides (something only Dumbledore knew to which extent and the reasons), and knew of the possibility of the Dark Lord coming back because Dumbledore told him, and anyone who listened honestly, that he didn’t believe Voldemort to be truly gone.
Now, Severus Snape knows that Harry Potter, this child who is the Dark Lord’s undoing, is alive and is coming to the school, as probably most of his contemporary schoolmate’s kids are also going, have been there a while and will come for various years after. Snape is still bound to Dumbledore by his promise to be a spy, and is bound to Voldemort by brand. And Dumbledore is highly suspicious shit is about to go down (which u kno, he was rights ‘cause even from the first year lil Harry started Going Through It™️).
Having that background: Severus Snape, Head of Slytherin, and presumed Death Eater (‘cause u kno, spy), who was never known to be openly warm nor kind, who was fiercely bullied and he retaliated when felt necessary, is supposed to seem impartial and nice to all of his students?
Morally, should he had been? Heck yeah. Any decent teacher and adult should.
Realistically, should he had been? Well, if he wanted his cover blown, sure. If he wanted all of the Death Eaters who had children in school questioning the hell out of him, yeah. If he wanted Voldemort suspicious of his alliance and current belief system (which would have been at odds with the Death Eater ideals), uh-huh. But that would have made for a lousy spy at best and disastrous war changing consequences at worst.
And let’s be really honest here: Dumbledore gave him the position as teacher, primarily because he wanted to use Snape as a spy. That was Dumbledore’s priority, not the teaching. Which is a little wild to think coming from a school headmaster, truly.
This theory (which personally extends from theory to canon, because that’s how being a spy works) does not excuse him from how his prejudice blinded him from seeing Harry for Harry and not James (but the case could be made that neither did Sirius, but that’s another topic). That was wild. However, at the same time, he looked out for Harry’s life.
Again, I’m not saying Severus was warm and nice and he certainly acted mean and cruel at moments, particularly with kids from the other three houses. I just think that was part of the tragedy. He had a role to play, he played it perfectly, getting himself branded as a coward and a traitor by the people closest to him. And because of him, they won the war.
#severus snape#i will die on that hill#this is something that i constantly think about#i belive there is a lot of sacrifice in severus’ character#letting go of what he wants to do what he feels (and is told) that is needed#all for the greater good#i genuinely don’t believe he wished to be ‘othered’ for ALL of his life#we see him smiling and talking with his collagues at the table whenever they ate#he had to fight McGonagall for heaven’s sake!#that part had me BAWLING while reading AND watching the movie#he carried it out perfectly#but you can see the weight of it consuming him throughout the books and the movies#so no. its hard for me to believe that Severus enjoyed and wanted to be cruel on the main daily#welcome to my ted talk#i will defend him with my life#but like#i will defend this theory till the day i mf die i swear#ITS WHAT MAKES SENSE!#severus#snape#pro severus snape#basically?#character study
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Research for an au fic I’m working on: how would Azula act and behave in a modern setting? And I don’t mean re-imagine her character within a modern context and stories. This isn’t Azula, but she’s an overachieving American high schooler with strict and overbearing parents, or Azula, but she’s the soon-to-be CEO of her father’s multinational conglomerate based in Japan or something. No, I mean how would Azula as she is in canon, Fire nation princess and all, act and behave if you simply just took her from her world and plopped her into [insert current year you’re reading this]?
#Like I wanna see what her figure out modern technology so bad#Bro is probably stunned by like microwaves and ovens and fridges and all that#imagine her saying#“How has the fire nation the smartest and most technologically advanced of all the four nations#not yet figured out the limitless potential of being able to reheat your food thus making it edible and enjoyable once again?!”#wanna see her throw an iPhone at a wall because she received a text message#and has no idea why the magical black box is all of a sudden directly communicating with her#Like the potential for comedy is endless#But also more seriously what would she make of our modern social and political problems?#And our art?#Imagine she if listened to our music? Or Watched our movies and TV shows or read our literature#it’s said in canon that she enjoyed reading a lot as a young child and spent a lot of time combing over the royal palace’s archives#Imagine her stumbling upon a modern library#She’s always been a lover of history#so I can just imagine with piles of books trying to cram our entire recorded history like she’s revising for an exam#What kinds of introspections and reflections would she have#learning about all the horrible atrocities we committed throughout history in the name of a culture or an individual or an idea?#How would she compare and contrast it all to her own upbringing and everything she was taught about her world?#Oh and the internet of course#I feel like she would go into a comatose state discovering the internet#avatar the last airbender#atla#atla au#azula#princess azula#atla azula
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Xmen sketch dump… I’m going crazy…
#yes I could’ve posted this on my sketch accout but uh#idk I have my reasons!#anyways. don’t read all that writing#I’ve decided to start just writing out all my ideas instead of just leaving blank canvases#good for my iPad storage#also watched new hunger games movie!#a slay! I really enjoyed it!#that last outfit snow was wearing was ssooooo Erik coded tho#had to draw it on ‘im#magneto#art#fanart#digital art#fan art#my art#erik lehnsherr#charles xavier#cherik#for keylime#xmen
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practical magic (1998)
#practical magic#sally owens#gillian owens#sandra bullock#nicole kidman#one of my old favorites and this scene really struck me watching again. their relationship ♥️#sisters#me and redheads#absolutely why i call gillian anderson gilly bean#i don't remember the book because i've seen the movie so many times but i enjoyed it when i read it back 20+ years ago 😅#mygifs
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I think one of my favourite visual details about TAU (2018) is its unique approach to the whole “robot/ai whose eyes turn red when they turn evil” trope. The way the colour of TAU’s display gradually changes over the course of the movie is just so lovely and so immensely important to me.
The rest of this post contains spoilers for basically the whole movie, so if you are concerned about that, please feel free to go and watch it first! This post will still be here when you are done :]
Initially, TAU’s light is completely red - aside from a slight orange tone in the centre of his “iris” - when he is still in his emotionally blank, unquestioning, “factory settings” state. The orange tones become more prevalent as he begins to speak with Julia, and the inner rings adopt an increasingly vibrant green as they interact more and his care for her and curiosity about the outside world grow, along with his defiance and resentment of Alex.
Once TAU reaches the point at which his loyalties lie firmly with Julia, only the outer edge of his display is red, the centre being a gradient from orange to bright gold to bright green, and glowing so much more brightly as well. When he shares his symphony and his being with her, all of his projections are made up of pure warm, golden light, flecked with green.
When I first watched it, the colour change was so gradual that I barely noticed it had changed until near the end, where he had all of his memories erased and his display reverted to being completely red like it had been at the very beginning, the intensity of his lights dulled back down as well. It was such a jarring change all of a sudden, and really helped to hammer home the realisation that all of his development as a person, the things he had learned and his time with Julia had been ripped away.
But perhaps one of my favourite touches is made evident by the drones TAU controls; they, too, have “irises” of red light at the beginning and gradually change colour along with the rest of him over the course of the movie, but when the drone Julia escapes with at the end wakes up and its eye glows only green, it’s just such a beautiful and relieving moment…
I could go on and on even more about the way colour and light are used in TAU because I absolutely adore it, but this is just what I was very focused on and appreciative of in my recent rewatch and I really wanted to shout from the rooftops about it for a little bit. I kept thinking about how much I loved seeing this reversal of the aforementioned trope; an AI whose light changes colour not to signify an impending cliché evil rampage, but to reflect positive change - growth and healing, the development of empathy, remorse, self-worth, loyalty, love.
It wasn’t at all what I expected from this movie when I first decided to watch it in 2019 but it was so pleasantly surprising to me, and these heartfelt and sincere themes are the main factor that secured TAU its place as my main comfort movie.
#it really might be my favourite movie now that I think about it tbh#no other movie has comforted and spoken to me quite the way this one does#and it’s the only non-musical movie I can watch over and over again and still enjoy the hell out of#if anyone reads this or even sees the pictures and goes ‘oh that looks/sounds up my alley’ and watches it I will be immeasurably happy#it is a little heavy at some points due to the subject matter of the plot but it is also just.. so hopeful and tender#tau netflix#tau 2018#tau#robots#ai#artificial intelligence
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chat htey fuckin jumpscared me while im trying to do my assignment
#this isnt xmen related but it can be if i try#i think enjoying james mcavoy comes with the territory of being a cherik enjoyer vjaeLKe thems just the strokes i dont make the rules#snap chats#'snap i thought you were sleeping' i was lying but it wasnt in bed i fear fjaELKEJ#no my prof has our assignments due at 8AM so i do them the night before WHATEVER its just reading news articles#and they put this ad at the bottom and i was term searching and i got jumpscared when the page jumped right to it#i saw the movie opening night and it was. the goofiest thing. the movie partially but My Night Mostly#cause at the beginning of the week i told my ma i was going to see it and she- trying to be a mother for the first time- was like#'oh we should watch it together :)' but as the time approaches she's like 'i mean do we HAAVE to watch it horror's traumatizing....'#im so glad i didnt go with my mom i know she woulda soured the whole thing for me she hates me and everything i love#like miss ma'am go AWAY i just went with my brother and the theater was virtually empty so we kept crackin jokes jvlkeakj#I STILL GENUINELY ENJOYED THE MOVIE THOUGH i should watch the og sometime but this was a good watch .... a fun one even...#this movie solidified the fact i love it when james plays- as he says- 'devilish' characters it is ACTUALLY primo to my life#so funny cause my bro and i still crack jokes about and reference it i didnt think he'd care bout it after we left but vjlkjlkja#ok im goig to bed for real now im tired and i wanna get up early to do work BYE
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I felt so much peace last night after deciding to stop seeing the bookstore boy. The only trepidation now is fear of somehow hurting his feelings (a fear I've never been able to fully squeeze out of me, unfortunately). But I think all shall be well. I know I'm not ready to be talking to or seeing any young man, no matter how lovely he is, right now -- my heart has not been at rest since last September, and it is still full of all the fun things (jagged edges, broken bits, and things that rattle when you shake it up and down). There is a lot of work yet to do, between me and the Lord
#this is a season to be saturated in God's story I think. to rest in being beloved. to read and to enjoy people's company#and to listen to the wind and watch movies with my family and sing with the kids at school#and watch kdramas and giggle over them and read and read and read#and to learn all over again what it means to be still and know that He is God.
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howard the duck (1976) #10
#coming for spider-man's life i see#sci talks comics#howard the duck#spider-man#yes. i am reading the entirety of howard the duck comic canon from the beginning thank you for asking.#i had read the most recent two howard the duck series and i enjoyed them but now? reading the classic stuff??#dear god the new stuff doesn't hold a candle.#sighs. howard is just like every marvel character. lost his edge.#marvel stop forgetting the entire point of your characters in order to babify them to appeal to wider audiences#seeing how counter-consumerist the early howard books are and how cynical and honest the writer is..#it's a little heartbreaking what he's become#here i was thinking he was just a funny duck.#kind of sad that howard's entire existence now is reduced to “remember when we wrote about a talking duck?”#“hheeheheahahahohoh what a funny thing that was. a talking duck. could you imagine! what a silly time that was.”#“what an embarrassing time for marvel”-– shut UUP this is so interesting and sincere. that duck is really interesting and sincere.#i love you howard.#i even like your weird movie.#fun fact: howard the duck was one of the first movies my dad ever watched in english#and it was this movie that he always tried to describe and try to find because he loved it but he didn't remember the name#he said it's a movie about a duck who gets stuck in the human world#and eventually i got into marvel and was like wait. howard the duck? is the movie howard the duck???#he loves that movie. well. the first half of it. and me too i also love the first half of that movie.#love you howard!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Something I've been thinking a lot about lately is how everyone thought Egon had gone insane. What Happened that made them think that. They've fought a gigantic Stay Puft Marshmellow Man TWICE (counting the 2009 video game because iirc it's canon? Correct me if I'm wrong), fought an interdimensional god, fought a blood thirsty ruler that killed thousands and was hated by all that was trapped in a painting (and managed to get in to beat him by making THE STATUE OF LIBERTY start walking down the street with slime that reacted purely based on vibes), found an underground abandoned transit system full of the moodslime, had a bathtub try to eat Dana and her baby, fought a giant murderous black widow lady, fought the fisherman ghost who turned an entire hotel floor into the bottom of a ocean, and that's not even mentioning them getting trapped on an island that randomly raised up from underwater that had been abandoned for decades created by Ivor Shandor who worshipped Gozer. So what did he do or say that made everyone else think he'd gone insane?? All I can think is maybe he was acting strange / eratic before, but he's always been like that to some degree.
I don't know. It's something that I've been thinking about. The correct answer is 'it's not that deep and they needed a reason that the others weren't together anymore and weren't aware of Egons death or know what was going on,' but also. What Was He Saying that prompted everyone, including Ray, to think he lost his mind when he'd been right almost every time before that.
I'm genuinely so curious as to what he was up to before this. What was he doing. What insane idea was working on prior to this or was he even working on anything at all??
Also want to clarify this post isn't negative 😭 I really love the newer movies and their lore / the newer storyline / characters, I just like thinking about small stupid things like this. Gives me something to think about / speculate about / figure out an answer to.
#ghostbusters#egon spengler#nikolas posts#I have so many thoughts on it because I've just been rewatching the two movies on loop for the past few days.#All we got was Ray saying that he'd started talking about the end of the world (IIRC) and that he went insane and took everything#when he eventually left to deal with it on his own#which for the record it's extremely impressive that he would've stopped Gozer from returning BY HIMSELF. The only reason it hadn't worked#was because of the electricity issue#Hiding all the traps and setting up the proton packs to fire at the hell pit?? Insanity. He's just on a complete different level of existin#Like they were aware of Ivor Shandor and his plans long before??? They found his ISLAND DEDICATED TO GOZER who had full intention of#BRINGING THEM BACK#it's really Really REALLY not this deep but I have thoughts and I wanted to share them. Maybe someone else might have an idea I#couldn't think of or might have something to add.#I guess it could be a 'they beat Gozer once and assumed they were gone' but that wasn't the first time Gozer 'died' so??#if I missed something Please tell me. I haven't watched the newer movies as much as the older ones (I grew up watching them / playing#the game so I'm more familiar with the older lore and haven't had the chance to rewatch the newer ones 1000 times over unfortunately)#so it's entirely possible I missed something#I'd think maybe it was just because they were older but I really don't think thats the case. I have reasoning for it but I need to do#the math to make sure I'm getting the ages right by the time AfterLife happens.#really need to make a chart / timeline of all the events that happened and what year / month / day they happened. That's a project#for tomorrow perhaps.#anyways if anyones reading this sorry for the insane rambling and congrats for making it to the end#also this post isn't negative I adore the newer movies so much. I love them a lot and I genuinely don't really care about this at all#just a thing to think / ponder / speculate about if that makes sense#I enjoy thinking about stupid irrelevant stuff like this#so so so many thoughts
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i miss having energy to do stuff
#uni stuff used to be so easy for me and now i can barely write#it takes me ages to do basic assignments#im procrastinating so much#im no motivated to draw at all#i can just do super simple doodles and i even struggle with those#and its not as fun anymore#and i cant read#i have 40 pages to finish this book im really enjoying and i just dont read#jeez#i can barely focus when i watch tv shows or movies#WHATEVER#going through a flop era or something#sorry this got personal#ah eto bleh#axel talks#ILL GET BETTER or something
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