#it is a little heavy at some points due to the subject matter of the plot but it is also just.. so hopeful and tender

[robotwrangler]

I think one of my favourite visual details about TAU (2018) is its unique approach to the whole “robot/ai whose eyes turn red when they turn evil” trope. The way the colour of TAU’s display gradually changes over the course of the movie is just so lovely and so immensely important to me.

The rest of this post contains spoilers for basically the whole movie, so if you are concerned about that, please feel free to go and watch it first! This post will still be here when you are done :]

Initially, TAU’s light is completely red - aside from a slight orange tone in the centre of his “iris” - when he is still in his emotionally blank, unquestioning, “factory settings” state. The orange tones become more prevalent as he begins to speak with Julia, and the inner rings adopt an increasingly vibrant green as they interact more and his care for her and curiosity about the outside world grow, along with his defiance and resentment of Alex.

Once TAU reaches the point at which his loyalties lie firmly with Julia, only the outer edge of his display is red, the centre being a gradient from orange to bright gold to bright green, and glowing so much more brightly as well. When he shares his symphony and his being with her, all of his projections are made up of pure warm, golden light, flecked with green.

When I first watched it, the colour change was so gradual that I barely noticed it had changed until near the end, where he had all of his memories erased and his display reverted to being completely red like it had been at the very beginning, the intensity of his lights dulled back down as well. It was such a jarring change all of a sudden, and really helped to hammer home the realisation that all of his development as a person, the things he had learned and his time with Julia had been ripped away.

But perhaps one of my favourite touches is made evident by the drones TAU controls; they, too, have “irises” of red light at the beginning and gradually change colour along with the rest of him over the course of the movie, but when the drone Julia escapes with at the end wakes up and its eye glows only green, it’s just such a beautiful and relieving moment…

I could go on and on even more about the way colour and light are used in TAU because I absolutely adore it, but this is just what I was very focused on and appreciative of in my recent rewatch and I really wanted to shout from the rooftops about it for a little bit. I kept thinking about how much I loved seeing this reversal of the aforementioned trope; an AI whose light changes colour not to signify an impending cliché evil rampage, but to reflect positive change - growth and healing, the development of empathy, remorse, self-worth, loyalty, love.

It wasn’t at all what I expected from this movie when I first decided to watch it in 2019 but it was so pleasantly surprising to me, and these heartfelt and sincere themes are the main factor that secured TAU its place as my main comfort movie.

[actuallysaiyan]

The First Time(Aka How Nanami Kento Lost His Virginity) Chapter One: A Lesson In Kissing

Chapter One: A Lesson In Kissing

warnings: kissing, exploring sexually, fluff, mentions of IRL creative licenses/pop culture references pairings: Emo!Nanami Kento x Fem!Reader summary: after a few weeks of getting to know the shy and stoic Nanami Kento, you invite him over to your dorm to watch some anime. as things progress, you realize that you have taken his kissing virginity...

taglist: @beneathstarryskies @seireiteihellbutterfly @benkeibear @kenpachisbrat. @gennaray

MDNI banner and Support your writers banner by the lovely benkeibear!!!

Masterlist

Classes had begun fairly well and you were getting into the full swing of things. Moving to a different city and going to a prestigious university hadn’t been your initial plan, but when you won the bursary and the scholarship, you found yourself unable to say no. Your parents had encouraged you to go, praising you for your high grades and your charismatic nature. So with that in mind, you had been very excited about the prospect.

You had worked in a bank a little bit during your last year of high school. And it completely changed your mindset about money. You decided not long after that that you were going to study to become a financial advisor. You wanted to be able to help people with their money. You wanted them to see that they could make good, fiscal plans with their assets.

And taking classes in business and finance could open a lot of doors for you. Even if the financial advisor job fell through, you could make your way into a job in stocks. Anything in the financial and business field would make you happy.

This is where you met Nanami Kento. He’s shy, sullen and stoic. He hides in the back of your shared classes. You swear he’s not paying attention whatsoever, but he’s acing the tests and the quizzes. He’s at the top of the class, no matter the subject. He’s got his nose buried in a book or his notebook most of the time.

It was his amber eyes that drew you in. Most of the time you only got to see one as he covers the other with his bangs. He rarely smiles, which also draws you in. Everyone else is dressed in business attire, whereas Kento wears business casual. And he’s very heavy on the casual side of things.

But due to his academic successes and good grades, nobody is batting an eyelash at him. Seemingly you might be the only person in these classes that is even remotely interested in him. One thing that really caught your eye was his collection of pins on his jacket.

You approach him one day after class, and he shoots you a confused look. Everyone is leaving the classroom, but you wanted to get to know him more. You wanted to approach him. And the minute you do, you notice not only does he have a look of confusion on his face, but he’s also blushing.

“You’re Nanami-san, yes?” You inquire, even if you know the answer.

He pulls his bag over his shoulder, “Y-yes. That’s me.”

You introduce yourself and extend your hand out to him, “Nice to meet you. I really like your pin.”

When he doesn’t shake your hand, you point at the cute little GIR pin on his lapel. Not many people you know have watched Invader Zim. He sort of looks at you in shock for a minute before turning away. 

“Thanks, see ya.”

And you don’t approach him for another few weeks after that first encounter. You wonder if he’s just shy or if he’s abrasive. He seems so cute in your eyes. So you push yourself to make an effort to talk to him more.

The second time, you invite him out to lunch. He doesn’t outright say yes, but he also doesn’t say no. He begins to follow you to the cafe just outside of the campus. You both order a coffee and sit in silence for a little bit.

“How’d you find the test?” You ask him, taking a sip of your coffee.

He shrugs, “It was fine.”

“You must be very smart. You’re at the top of our class.”

He blushes and shrugs once more, “I don’t know. It’s just not too hard for me.”

The conversation dies down before you head over to the counter and order two sandwiches. Then you return with the two plates and Kento is confused. It’s been a long time since anyone has bought him lunch. He’s really not sure why someone as beautiful as you would even bother with him.

“Do you like the band The Used?”

Kento’s eyes widen, “Y-yeah! You like The Used?”

You nod. “Love ‘em! They are so awesome.”

This begins an acquaintanceship between you and Kento. You spend the lunch hour chatting about your favorite bands, your favorite manga and anime and of course, your favorite tv shows. You both discover very quickly that you have so much in common.

By the time lunch hour is over, you’re both upset that you’ll have to end the conversation. You see Kento in a whole new light, and him…he realizes that there are still some good people in this world.

The next time you two meet, you invite him to your dorm room. He’s never been invited to someone’s dorm since he enrolled, so he’s a little nervous about it. Not to mention the fact that he thinks he’s developing a crush on you. This coupled with the fact that he’s entirely a virgin scares him. Nevertheless, he makes his way to your dorm and knocks on the door. In his other hand is a bag of snacks and drinks to share with you.

“Kento-kun! Nice to see you! Come in,” you greet him in such a sunny way. Your demeanor was beginning to remind him of someone from his past.

He smiles shyly, “Thanks.”

He makes his way into your little space. Despite it being small, you’ve managed to make it feel so nice and cozy. It’s well decorated with band posters, comfy furniture and even a little kitchenette area. He’s surprised that you could make such a small place look so much like a home.

“Sit down,” you motion to the couch. “I’ll get us some cups.”

You return to the living room area of the room and join him on the couch. On your little TV, you have some old anime playing. Kento is immediately sucked in. You find the drinks in his bag and pour the drinks. Your fingers brush against his when you pass him the cup. He shudders from the sudden contact, hiding it by returning his attention to the TV.

“You like this?” You gesture to the TV.

He nods, “Yeah, this is Ninja Scroll, right?”

“Yeah! I didn’t think anyone was still interested in this sort of stuff.”

You and Kento begin a conversation about anime and the movie that’s playing. You both can’t stop talking to each other. It’s just like the conversation continues to flow so naturally between the two of you. The more you conversed., the more you found yourself liking him. He’s cute, knowledgeable and not like a lot of the other guys you’ve met.

As the conversation dies down, both of you sit in a comfortable semi-silence. The movie comes to a point where the romance is noticeable. You feel your heart pumping a little faster when you look at Kento again.

He’s blushing as his eyes lock with yours. He’s never even kissed before, but he’s not stupid. He knows where you want to take this relationship, but he’s so damn scared to fuck it up. There’s got to be some sort of false confidence he could display.

Yet the minute your soft lips press against his, he knows you’re going to be able to suss out his inexperience within seconds. He doesn’t know how to kiss you back, so he sits there stunned. His hands are shaking as you sit even closer to him. And then when you pull away, you notice the look on his face.

“Shit, I am so sorry, Kento. I thought…well, I thought maybe you wanted to make-out.”

Kento’s cheeks burn even more, “I-I do, I just… Idon’tknowhowto.”

You can barely make out what he’s just said. But the sentiment is there and you pick it apart. He’s never made out before. Your brain turns this information over a few times and then it clicks. That was probably his first kiss. You begin to blush and apologize profusely.

“I am so sorry, I thought that maybe…”

Then he surprises you. He kisses you. It’s sloppy and harsh, but you appreciate it all the same. Your hand reaches out to cup his face, and he shudders again. You’re so soft and you smell so good and the feeling of your lips on his makes his heart race. When he pulls away, he’s the one apologizing.

“Don’t even say you’re sorry. That was a sweet kiss.”

Then the two of you turn to face each other. The tension could be cut with a knife. You reach out to cup his face again, pulling him even closer. His hands shake as he tries to caress you, but he’s just not even sure what to do. You lead him through another kiss, this time you deepen it just a bit more.

His fists stay clenched at his side for the first part of this kiss, then you gently reach out to intertwine your fingers with his. The minute you do this, he melts into the kiss.

Then you pull away, leaning your forehead against his. Your hands are so soft against his face. He nuzzles his face into your palm before he leans in once more. This time, Kento takes the lead which surprises you. He pins you down on the couch with his body weight.

The kisses that follow are so tentative and slow. He’s learning how to be less sloppy and more precise. He’s gaining confidence the more you two explore, and soon you feel his hands on your sides. He caresses you so softly, almost like he’s afraid you’re going to slip away and end up being some figment of his imagination.

“You’re a good kisser,” you compliment him when you both pull away to breathe.

“T-thanks…you were my first.”

You cup his cheeks, “I know that, baby.”

Then your lips meet in another sweet kiss. But this time you surprise him by gliding your tongue along his bottom lip. Kento freezes for a moment, then he parts his lips.

‘So soft, so sweet…tastes so good.’ His mind is racing with thoughts like this. ‘Wanna taste her even more…’

Your tongues rub and roll together sensually. Soon you feel him grinding against you and you notice just how hard he is. His erection is poking against your thigh. And as much as you want to keep going, you think it’s probably for the best that you pace these things out.

So you pull away, leaving Kento panting and looking so dazed. He’s so sweet like this. This is the cutest look on his face you have ever seen. His lips try to chase yours a little, but you pull back just enough. Then you caress his cheek.

“Let’s slow this down, yeah?”

He swallows hard. “Oh uhm…yeah okay.”

You notice his disappointment, “I just don’t want you to rush into this. Let’s make this something special,”

He finally nods and smiles. His heart feels full of affection for you. This was exactly what he needed after all the trauma in his life. You were truly someone who cared and you were looking out for him.

You kiss his cheek. “Don’t worry. I really like you. I’m not kicking you out.”

He smiles shyly, “Okay cool. Can we maybe cuddle?”

You wrap your arms around him and bring him even closer. His head rests on your chest and you two fall into the blissful happiness of cuddles.

[goblin-enjoyer]

Normalize the tf2 mercs as being absolute genetic freaks of nature under the hood. Medic is crazy and we know he gets paid good so he’s probably got lots of bits in his bin if you know what I mean.

Pyro is straight up nonhuman. Pyro is a fire elemental that the Mann brothers have bound to a hazmat suit and medic made a real boy by giving them meat. Not making her a human body mind you, but rather every time he gets damaged, instead of bursting into flames meat forms around the wound and it bleeds instead of letting the inner crea tur out.how? Wizard. Moving on.

Soldier has massive lungs that make him 20% more louder. If he was smarter he could probably echolocate his way around. That or sound attacks idk he eats wizard pills he could have hollow bones for all I know. Sure he has hallow bones now for rocket jumping. Im the one typing I get to make nonsense on the fly.

Medic put pigeon dna in scout and that’s how he makes his trademark milk-like substance. How this happens you may ask? Scout saw medics doves have sex while getting his second Uber heart surgery and said “man I wish I could pick up chicks that well” and medic said “good idea I will help you with this” and then looked at the camera and smirked. The administrator does not spectate medics lab/operation room/dove breeding center anymore. Also scouts immune to radiation due to all the bonk he ingests, though sometimes he does become radioactive sometimes. 

We already know that demoman’s body creates alcohol and that he has a ghost eye, but did you know that if you shoot him with some sort of piercing explosive round he will combust into flames. I… I couldn’t really think of anything for demoman I don’t play him as much.

Engineer always wishes he could have kids, but doesn’t want to have sex. That and he removed most of his reproductive/unnecessary/extra/mid organs with machine parts like 30 years ago. So after the events of the games and comics where everyone is happy and junk, he teams up with medic to make himself some half robot half human half whatever dell conagher is at that point at time children. He asks if medic ever want kids he can do the same for him but he declines as at this point in time he has perfected the art of male impregnation.(on various ape parts) dell is a great father and yes I added this part because the whole humanized sentry thing that went around a while ago touched my heart because despite the words of almost every engineer main everywhere I get so attached to the sentries I build that I die a little bit inside every time I die and my buildings get sapped and I have to just watch as my babies get destroyed. I get too attached to my buildings to play engineer

Heavy doesn’t stop growing, similar to that of a reptile. His skin is as thick as a rhinos. He hibernates for a month in summer because I said so. He has accidentally killed/crushed medic before and is now eternally cautious when in bed with him. Medic doesn’t mind, he knows what he’s gotten himself into. Heavy can also talk to birds like a Disney princess. Medic didn’t add any bird parts for this to happen he just was always like this.

Sniper can dislocate every bone in his body and go through cracks that are at least the size of his head. He will use this to show up in the most unexpected places imaginable. Is legally classified as an tardigrade in some places due to his ability to be fine in almost any place (volcano,Arctic,sewer system, a walk in closet so large it took him 5 weeks to get out, space that one time). Can go up to a year without eating (the team found this out at the same time they figured out the space thing). Swallows things whole.

Spy can shift his flesh around to disguise as almost anything, keeps the mass and weight though. Breaths mostly through his skin so he doesn’t cough due to his decrepit lungs. Was hit by a car once. Doesn’t have anything to do with the subject matter of the tf2 mercs being freakish beings with human skin but I just wanted to include it here.

Medic. What isn’t medic? The only thing consistent with his biology is that he can regenerate somehow. He alters his body so much that it is roughly equivalent to 1 tyranid hive fleet and 2,million ork painboys.(the tf2 mercs would be more likely to work for the orks than to ever work for one of the human factions in 40k and I just needed to get that off my chest) This is how he manages to get away with all the things he’s done. Banned from this continent? Just become a new person who’s not banned from that continent and presto you’re good! The laws don’t account for the ship of Theseus!

[ask-the-pioneer]

Hello and welcome to @ask-the-pioneer! This is a scripted ask blog dedicated to a slugcat OC of mine called Marbles (she/her), titled the Pioneer. She is a re-interpretation of Artificer’s blue slugpup, set in a AU where the pup survives, grows up, and receives a name. The main story begins some short time after the end of Artificer’s campaign. At that point in time Marbles is already a young adult (early 20s in human years). She parts ways with Hunter - her mentor - and ventures out to seek the knowledge contained within the pearls that she was always captivated by.

This blog is run by @kalivasquez (@kalivasquezart). Keep in mind I’m not a native English speaker. There may be spelling errors or weirdly constructed sentences at times. This is my first ask-blog ever so idk what I’m doing but I’m trying my best 👍

CONTENT WARNING: This blog has content rating of +18 due to potential sensitive themes: mental trauma, depictions of violence, suicidal ideation, blood and gore, or other graphic imagery that may be uncomfortable, scarring or otherwise triggering to witness. Viewer discretion is advised. Posts containing mild themes will be tagged appropriately, while posts showing heavy themes will have "mature" filter applied to them. Please be aware that all the content shared on this blog is intended for an adult audience!

More info below the cut!

Blog Rules 📜

Last update: 10th of October, 2024

By default you address the main character - Marbles, aka the Pioneer - in your asks. If you wish to inquire me directly (as an author of this blog), please include “[OOC]” at the beginning, or otherwise indicate that the message is directed at me and not the character.

Asks are answered in-character. Sometimes the character may react to your ask in a seemingly negative way. Please keep in mind that it is done from their point of view, and it does not imply that I (the author) personally reacted badly to your message.

I appreciate all the asks that I receive. However, I reserve the right to not answer some of them, at my discretion. It is not guaranteed that you receive a response. Still, I’ll try my best to answer as many messages as I can.

Be aware that some asks I receive may be skipped over, especially ones that are short and vague, in favour of more complex asks that help me push the plot of this AU forward. This is also relevant for asks that refer to the same subject (duplicates).

Please be tactful! Asks that are inappropriate or confusing in their intent (like spam, baits, asks containing slurs) will be deleted. Sorry!

Do not send me asks via direct messages (DMs)! I keep my DMs open in case someone needs to contact me for other reasons, like incorrect tagging or important offsite matters. If you send me a DM meant to be answered like an ask, your message will be ignored and deleted.

More rules may be added later. Please check this section again periodically.

General Character Info ℹ️

As of now, this ask-blog has only one acting character - Marbles the slugcat, aka the Pioneer.

Name (given): Mirmyntasseth, Eight Marbles Cast in Stone

Title (given): the Pioneer

Nickname: Blue (for family), Marbles (for friends, after being named by an iterator)

Pronouns: she/her

Age: young adult (very early 20’s in human years)

Personality: energetic, curious, savvy, humorous, short-tempered, resilient, drive, a little naive and too trusting, exhibits mild case of abandoned child syndrome

Specific traits:

good at finding pearls (she loves them, goes about as crazy for them as scavs) and other trinkets,

knows martial arts, can incapacitate enemies by hitting their pressure points,

can craft explosive spears and grenades - they do less damage, but stun for longer; crafted explosives have deep orange color,

already has a mark of communication, granted by NSH,

Tools:

Marbles is often seen wearing a light colored “sling bag” on her back, where she keeps her pearls and other items,

at a muuuuuuch later point in time, she receives a gift from a kind interator - her very own citizen ID drone; the drone can read from pearls and translate slugcat speech into other languages.

Current reference sheet:

For more in-dept info and drawings/references of the character, please visit Marbles' ToyHouse page.

AU Timeline ⏱️

the story of Pioneer takes place some years after the end of Artificer's campaign, and begins at the same time as Hunter's campaign in-game

this AU assumes the following timeline for slugcat campaigns: Spearmaster -> Artificer -> Hunter -> Gourmand -> Survivor -> Monk -> Rivulet -> Saint,

Artificer/Hunter/Gourmand campaigns happen close together, with Hunter/Gourmand overlapping slightly; all three scugs are roughly the same age, with Arti being the oldest (early 40s), and Hunter the youngest (39),

Saint and Monk are still slugpups by the time the story of Pioneer beings,

Spearmaster is unlikely to be present in this AU as it is assumed that over 432 cycles have passed, meaning they are no longer alive,

Rivulet is unlikely to be present in this AU as here their campaign is assumed to have taken place *much *later in the future,

Saint is thought to be stuck in a time loop, and *may *appear in this AU.

AU Setting 📝

Pioneer’s Backstory (before the events described in this ask blog):

Marbles/Blue (the Pioneer) was born in the Garbage Wastes area, raised by a single mother (Artificer); the other parent remains unknown,

she had a sibling (who was also the runt of the litter) - a brother named Bryn, the green slugpup; the two were fraternal twins,

she got separated from the rest of her family in a scav toll incident,

was not killed, but abducted instead by the scavenger toll tribe, brought into their local shelter just before the rain started,

initially assumed to have been taken in as a fodder in case of predator attack,

in the end she has earned her keep when she learned how to make grenades and explosive spears, turning herself into a valuable asset for the tribe,

was treated fairly well, but never truly incorporated into the local scavenger community,

had stayed with the tribe for many cycles, learning how to fight and survive, but also how to look for valuables (mainly pearls) and haggle with other tribes,

could probably have run away, but she held on to hope that mom would come back for her,

whenever she got “lost”, the tribe would look for her to bring her back,

after one of her short solo expeditions, she came back to the camp only to find out the entire scav tribe has been wiped out,

ran away and been wandering aimlessly for a while, eventualy stumbling upon Hunter who adopted her, took back to NSH's superstructure, and underwent training alongside him (under NSH’s supervision),

promised to accompany Hunter during his important mission, but had to suddenly part ways due to unfortunate circumstances (just before the beginning of Hunter’s campaign).

Post Tagging 🏷️

I use the following tags:

#rain world, #rain world oc, #rain world au - default tags added to all answered asks (unless OOC),

#rain world spoilers - is included in posts that may spoil RW lore, for example: when answers hint to the conclusion of Artificer’s campaign,

#rw - rain world-specific characters that are present in a post, such as: “#rw hunter” or “rw five pebbles”; i will try to use the full name(s) intead of abbreviations,

#au lore - posts that contain important worldbuilding information for my AU,

#ooc- out of character posts, or anything else that doesn’t fall under “rain world” umbrella,

(more tags will be added to this section once I actually start posting stuff)

I also tag sensitive content with appropriate tags like #tw [trigger], if shown.

Text Key 💬

Most dialogue takes form of narrated drawings, where Marbles speaks in her own voice. The speeches are a part of the drawings themselves.

However, if a post contains additional text, the following key is used:

[Narration]

[The road was long and arduous, and she was glad to have finally found a shelter]

(Thoughts)

(This place is full of scavengers, I should be able to trade those pearls for some food)

“Speaking”

“How come you have not seen a vulture before? Climb up to Sky Islands, they are everywhere!”

//OOC

// more art coming soon woohoo!

Credits 📑

image in the blog's header belongs to Pawel Czerwinski on Unsplash

Yoŋasabi script (slugcat language, original conlang) in the top banner by @opashoo

all the other drawings posted on this blog were made by me, unless stated otherwise

[lovinglylibelle]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ 𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭

-navigation || masterlist-

pairing: Dabi x fem! reader

genre: angst

description: what happens when you encounter dabi and hidden secrets from the past are revealed?

requests: OPEN

tw: graphic mentions of wounds as a metaphor, heavy emotional dialogue, a lot of past trauma, mentions of crime and the reader calls Dabi out for being dramatic.

a/n: been thinking about this idea for a while, had pretty good dialogues in mind for it too lol. Finally got around to writing it and kinda got carried away, i hope you guys like it. It is kinnnndaaaaa intense? not VERY intense but yeah. If you guys end ul reading it, can you pleaaaaaaaase reblog and like? it would mean a lot to me and would increase my reach tooo :))))) thank you lovelies, have a great day, XOXOXO

What are you, if not a tapestry of memories and stories woven delicately together, forming you, creating you, giving you life?

They were a part of you whether you liked it or not. No matter how much you wanted to forget some of them, they were burned into your mind like a brand on a horse. But what's worse was that some of them festered, rotting away slowly as a painful reminder of the past, unable to heal.

One such memory was Todoroki Touya, a friend of yours from your childhood. You grew up together, had big dreams... the only difference was that his died, and yours thrived.

The threads that wove to form his memories were charred, a permanent burnt hole in the center of your arras.

You tried to ignore it, but every little thing reminded you of it, of him, and worsened the festering wound his absence had left on you. But there was no need to scratch that wound again and again, no matter how desperate you were. He would have loved to be a part of this mission.

Sighing, you got back to the task at hand: a mission to tail Dabi as the rest conducted their raid.

His quirk was particularly worrisome and caused devastation left and right, a fire that burned loud and blue. Its intensity was unfathomable, the temperature surpassing even that of Endeavor's. And with the oncoming battle, you couldn't be more careful.

"What's the status, Keigo?" you asked in your comms that connected you to your partner for the mission. He was your oldest friend, and together you had reached where you were at this point.

"He is closing in on the left alleyway, your 9 o'clock," he said, and you nodded, discreetly following Dabi while maintaining your distance.

It wasn't rare for you, jobs like these. You were the undercover hero, the one who did work without the public glory. Not that you wanted it... you just did it to save those who couldn't defend themselves.

"Take your next right, and you will be onto him," he said, eyeing both of your moves with his feathers.

"On it," you said, following his directions until you could finally see Dabi's figure walking just a few hundred meters from you.

The alley was dimly lit with a yellow flickering streetlight overhead. A pungent smell of stale water lingered heavily in the atmosphere, making you almost choke due to the stench.

You made sure to keep him in your line of sight, taking every turn with Hawks as surveillance until your path was blocked by a stray cat that had toppled over a trash can with a loud crash.

Cursing under your breath, you sidestepped it. You walked ahead only to realize that your subject had disappeared from your sight.

"Shit. Hawks? Come in, Hawks?" You said in your comms, continuing down the path.

"I've lost sight of the target... Where is he?" you questioned, keeping your voice low.

There was static on the other side, making your eyebrows knit in concentration as you tried to figure out what he was saying.

"Y/n- ... Dabi-... careful-.... h-he...-" and with a click, the comms disconnected.

"Hawks should really try to be more discreet with his feathers, even a cicada is better at hiding." Footsteps echoed in the uncomfortable silence of the alleyway.

You swore, turning around only to come face to face with the person in question... with a burning red feather in his hand.

"Dabi."

The notorious villain himself, one of the worst ones you had ever seen.

"In the flesh... burnt, but hey, technicalities," he replied, a smirk on his face.

You observed him from your distance, watching his moves and preparing yourself for any and every possible attack.

"Calm down, sweetheart, I don't bite," he said, stalking closer to you as he noticed your alertness.

The alley was narrow, with little space between its walls. Movements were restricted for both of you, so you tried your best not to engage.

"Even if you do, I am prepared." You stood rooted in your spot, careful not to wrongly analyze the situation and trigger any response that might cause harm.

He whistled, moving closer to you as his feet stomped in a puddle of muddy water that splashed so loudly one would think something dropped and drowned.

You moved a step back, refusing to let him get close to you. It was a challenging situation because you knew that Dabi was good at both short and long-range attacks.

"Damn, haven't you gotten feisty... never thought I'd see the day," he laughed, combing a hand through his hair.

"Try anything, and you'll see just how feisty I can get," you warned him. You couldn't show fear in front of him. Even the littlest sign of intimidation would make you the prey, and him, the predator.

"Good one... I am impressed," he smiled, his face unsettling you.

Something about him, though, was familiar, but you couldn't place your finger on it. Maybe it was the way he moved, or perhaps a familiar shift in his posture. The way his shoulders hunched, how he turned his head just slightly before he moved—you’d seen this before in the distant past... long ago, but where?

"You know... I never thought I'd see you again," he said.

See you again? What? As far as you knew, you had never met him in your entire life...

"Stop playing games, Dabi. They won't work, and do not take another step closer," you said, raising your hands as you got ready to use your quirk.

"Gonna use your quirk now? Oh geez, you wound me..." he was mocking you, his smirk widening.

"Is that how little you think of me? After everything we've been through?" he said, a look of faux betrayal on his face, which irritated you.

You clenched your jaw, refusing to let his words dig into you. You were told that Dabi was good at mind games, twisting his words just enough to make you question yourself. But this time? You wouldn't let him.

Instead of responding, you took a slow step back, your fingers twitching as you considered activating your quirk. His eyes followed your movements, that unsettling grin never leaving his face. He wasn’t attacking, not yet. He was waiting—biding his time, testing your patience.

But still, his voice crept into your thoughts. The way he said, "after everything we’ve been through," felt too... familiar. Like a half-forgotten memory clawing its way back to the surface.

"You'd be surprised," you taunted him, knowing it was dangerous... but still pushing it.

You blinked, but everything happened too fast. One moment, Dabi was mocking you, and the next—his hands were on yours, gripping them with a force that sent a jolt of panic through your chest.

Your back collided with the cold, rough brick wall, stealing the breath from your lungs. A sharp sting spread across your shoulder blades. No. How had I let him get this close? The heat of his breath mingled with the stench of the alley, suffocating you. But it was his eyes—those blue flames, so close—that paralyzed you in place.

"Oh yeah?" he said, his face just inches away from you.

He brought his other hand up, pulling out your necklace that was tucked inside your suit by its chain.

"Then why do you still wear this?" he tugged on it, his eyes boring into yours.

Somehow, you felt yourself pinned by his gaze, entirely focused on you. There was something about it that felt too personal, too deep, and you didn’t dare look away.

"Do not touch it," you seethed, struggling against his hands but to no avail. He was stronger than you, and you hated that.

"I gave it to you, and I can't even touch it? Come on now," he said, scoffing but dropping it too... too gently for it to be normal.

"What the hell are you saying?" you asked him, stopping for a moment.

"What do you think I mean?" he whispered, eyes narrowing as he urged you to mull over his words.

You glared at him, not giving him the satisfaction of a response.

"Well, that hurts," he laughed, and suddenly a manic smile etched onto his face, and for the first time throughout this conversation, you felt terrified.

"Try, Y/n, try! I know you can do it!" he yelled, his eyes looking at you crazily.

You were breathing hard, trying to make sense of his senseless rambling as his eyes bored into yours—a shade of cyan, just like... just like Touya.

Your heart raced, pounding against your ribcage as if trying to break free. No, it couldn’t be. Touya was gone. Dead. They had found his bones. You had mourned him. But those eyes—how could you forget those eyes? The same haunting cerulean gaze from your childhood. It sent a chill down your spine. Could this really be him?

"Touya..." you breathed. The word felt foreign on your tongue, like you were trying to summon a ghost. Your heart stopped for a second, refusing to believe what your eyes were telling you.

No. It can’t be.

He tilted his head, his smirk widening. "Ding ding ding. Took you long enough," he said with a manic laugh, but the sound rang hollow, like it wasn’t just mockery but something much more.

Your gaze flickered between his, trying to make sense of it all and find pieces, if any, of Touya Todoroki in him. It had been years since he disappeared. Years since the flames took him away from you. And yet, here he stood—not the boy you had known, but something darker. Something broken. The weight of it pressed on your chest, each breath growing harder to take. The necklace that was once a reminder now felt like a heavy weight against your collarbone, choking you.

Your heart was racing as you tried to process what had just happened. How could this be the same person? The boy you once knew, who had laughed beside you, was now this... this monster. What had gone so wrong? A wave of nausea hit you, grief and anger swirling together, but you forced yourself to stand tall.

He released your hands, observing your face as if he could read your mind, your every thought. You felt exposed, but at the same time, it was he who looked vulnerable.

"Stop it," he said, his face solemn... bearing too much similarity to Touya even with the piercings and burns.

"Stop what?"

"Trying to find Touya in me. He is long gone," he said, a hint of grief in his voice that, if you didn’t know his former self, you would have missed.

But everything inside you broke loose as you scoffed at his words. You were angrier than you had ever been, and your self-restraint was struggling and thrashing to break loose.

"You think I can't see that?" you said, staring at him in disbelief.

"You’ve killed hundreds of people," you hissed, pushing him with every word. "Ruined thousands of lives. Hurt too many to count." You paused, your voice catching in your throat. "And you think—" You pressed a trembling finger to his chest. "You think I would dishonor my Touya by comparing him to you?"

Your voice wavered, betraying your anger, but beneath that anger, there was something else—a plea for him to deny it. To say it wasn’t true. That he wasn’t this... but all you got in reply was silence.

"And you did all that for what?" you spat. "Just because your dad didn’t give you enough attention? Oh please, spare me, Dabi. All you had to do was talk."

Your throat hurt from the pressure of unshed tears, grief controlling every fiber of your being as you continued.

"And what about me then? Wasn't I right there for you? Didn’t I support you? I waited months for you to come back, hoping that maybe you were out there, but you didn’t... and I was a child too!" you cried.

"And now—" you swallowed, wiping at your tears. "Now you're here, hurting the people I care about, all because you lost control of your fire—"

"That's not true!" he interrupted, anger flaring in his eyes. He stepped closer, his presence suffocating. You flinched, your pulse quickening as his anger burned into you.

"I came back. I came back! I went back to my house, but you all had already pronounced me dead!"

"Then what did you want them to do, Dabi? They found your bones! Charred bones! How could they have known you were alive? And couldn't you have come to find me? Is that how little I meant to you?" you asked him, your face a mess of tears and dirt.

He took a deep breath at that, igniting a little hope in you... Was Touya still there?

"I blamed myself. If only I had been there and stopped you, my Touya would have been alive... I had nightmares, thinking about how scared you must have been when the flames went up around you, how painful it must have been, and I couldn't forgive myself," you confessed, your silent tears turning into sobs.

The wound that had been rotting for so long was now exposed, throbbing with pain as you applied a searing knife to it.

"If I had known that Touya had turned into something as horrifying as you... I wouldn’t have wasted my time," you said, the wound in your soul now burning.

"Shut up. Shut up. Shut up!" Dabi yelled, his eyes wide as he looked at you.

"You know nothing!" he said, panic in his voice. His hands were scratching at his neck out of frustration, picking at the burnt skin of his jaw. He was getting agitated, and the surroundings were heating up with him.

You could feel the warmth rise, a sense of suffocation dawning on you.

Tears of anger collected in his eyes, threatening to spill, while his hands went back and forth through his hair. You almost felt sorry for him, wondering just how much he had misunderstood to turn out like this. What had he gone through these past years to become... this? Should you even pity him?

"You don’t know what I went through! I was—I was discarded, used, and thrown away! You will never under—" he was saying but was interrupted as the comms crackled back to life.

"Y/n!? Where are you? Y/n, do you copy?" a worried Keigo hurriedly asked.

"I'm coming to get you. Stay where you are!" he added.

You mentally cursed the timing of it all, and as you felt the atmosphere cool down, your gaze lifted to see Dabi. The vulnerability that had briefly surfaced was long gone, replaced by the emptiness that you had first witnessed.

You could feel your heart drop; the Touya you were trying to bring back was now completely gone.

Before you could say anything, though, you heard Hawks' voice calling out to you from above the alley, catching your attention... but as you turned around to say something to Dabi, he was long gone, leaving you in the wake of him as the wound inside you resumed festering.

taglist 🏷️ : @quirrrky @asunflowerana (send an ask to be added xoxoxo)

[floralcrematorium]

fuck it, band AU time

with my mounting zine deadlines and drawings i owe friends for their b-days, idk if i'll ever get to draw the accompanying material i wanted to, so it is time to yap everyone's ear off. apologies if this is a mess! it's been a hot minute since i've properly spewed my nonsense out loud

i think i wanna talk abt Nat first... I love using Natalya in narrative works -- she's so so interesting to me and the character i've fleshed out the most

in Band AU, Natalya is a solo pop musician whose earlier music takes heavy inspiration from ethereal wave and dark cabaret. artists who frequent the playlist i've made for her are birdeatsbaby, revue noir, and then a bit of the dresden dolls and mirabilis. here's a hyperlink to her WIP playlist!

as for subject matter, her music probably deals a lot with existentialism and self identity

at the start of her career, Nat is very experimental in her sound, presentation, and image. i like to think she sees her music videos and stage performances as a version of semi-abstract performance art. she's very into symbolism

the pop part of her sound comes a bit later, after she starts dating Alfred Jones, the front man of Multifacet, an alternative(?) rock band (gonna be real, i have NOT nailed down what their sound is yet). her relationship with Alfred is mutually unhealthy - they are somewhat codependent and both feel a need to perform due to media pressure. he's using her for her preexisting fame, she uses him to feel the lonely void she feels

Nat cracks under the pressure. She was a very popular artist before dating Alfred, but she had control. When they start dating, her own achievements begin to be overshadowed. Her career becomes inescapably intertwined with Alfred's. She hits an absolute breaking point

as of right now, the sound of nat's music when she's with alfred is a bit like rina sawayama's. i find her voice gorgeous and i like the sound of urgency in the songs I have added to Nat's playlist -- it's a stark difference from her earlier slower music. I think Frankenstein embodies Nat at this point in her career the best

i know billie eilish is WAY too mainstream for Nat's taste, but I can't help but think of The Diner from billie's latest album for the AmeBel breakup...

also I much prefer platonic AmeBel - I think when in a romantic relationship, these two enable the worse parts of one another. however as just friends, they work quite well! anyway the best way I can sum up how I see AmeBel is:

someone else: what do you even see in him? Nat: he makes me laugh. he's stupid. i like that in a man.

I think the constant theme for Nat is a constant searching for a sense of identity because she continually destroys the identity she's built. I think Nat is a little insecure and to truly flourish, she needs to find some confidence. she also needs a good support system, which comes in the form of Tereza (miss Czechia), but I'll talk about them at a different time (wink wink, nudge nudge)

If I have to give you examples of Nat's different "Eras":

Debut: The Silent, The Tragic Tantrum She's having fun. Nat's a bit cryptic, she's eclectic, and enjoys putting on a show on stage. Start of the AU: Girl Anachronism, The Dresden Dolls I associate Girl Anachronism a lot with Nat in general, band AU aside Dating Alfred: Frankenstein, Rina Sawayama The lyrics of this one really hit for Nat. "All I want is to feel beautiful inside and out/You're the one who can save me from myself." This is when AmeBela are mutually codependent Breakup: Nothing Lasts, Glycerine I don't have anything to add other than this is an old personal favorite of mine. That's it. Breakup, but with plot relevance: The Diner, Billie Eilish I really want to use the lines "I'll go back to the diner/I'll write another letter/I hope you'll read it this time/You better" Nat and Al are having a very public breakup, that's all I have to say Healing: Seventeen, birdeatsbaby Nat's like. 27 at the start of this AU, but I think the themes are still relevant. I also LOVE the dramatic and grandiose intro to the song -- I feel like it's a return to form for her... Healing Nat Part Two: I Always Hang Myself With The Same Rope, birdeatsbaby

Nat will get a happy ending. I do need to figure out in more detail in what ways she damages Alfred, but I think with the general theme of the whole AU being a cautionary tale about fame and the effects it has on an individual, I've focused more on the "good ending" route with Nat's story. She has a moment of self realization and puts in the time to work on herself.

[painedpen]

Tell me anything and everything abt your headcanons and stuff for Mondo Owada, I'm all ears! He's one of my favorites so I'd love to hear what you think‼️

Thank you very much but you have no clue what you’ve just unleashed.

Fluff:

- Mondo’s maternal family originated from France, so French is his and Daiya’s first language. Of course, Mondo has never met his mother’s family… yet.

- Speaking of maternal family, anyone wanna take a guess as to what his mother’s maiden name is? Anyone? Too late, it’s Akamatsu.

- So yeah, Kaede is Mondo and Daiya’s little cousin. Kaede is about two or three years younger than Mondo, and she’s delighted to find her long lost cousin at her new high school.

- Due to having to fend for themselves at a young age, both Mondo and Daiya are really good cooks. The difference between them is that Mondo refuses to allow anyone else in the kitchen when he’s cooking. Think Gordon Ramsey but somehow even worse.

- Mondo will never admit to anyone that he likes to cook. God forbid you ask him to cook for you. Unless you’re sick or like really sad. He’ll tell you to never tell anyone though.

- Physical affection is not only his love language, it’s his way of life. Every time you see him, he’s leaning on or hugging one of his classmates. He’s like a really big cat.

- When he was a kid, Daiya couldn’t leave him alone for a moment, cause every time he came back Mondo would have befriended some random animal of prey. Daiya turns around and Mondo is cradling a Great Horned Owl in his arms like a baby.

- Mondo hasn’t been able to bring himself to have another pet since Chuck, so instead he co-parents everyone else’s pets. He’s already won over Celeste’s cat.

- Most of his childhood was spent around a pack of stray animals. One day, a cat curled up on his lap and started purring, and Mondo was like “heehee funny noise” and started mimicking it. Long story short, Mondo purrs as a stim.

- He’s the best adoptive big brother ever. Are you an only child, or just temporarily sad for some reason? Boom, Mondo’s your big brother now. No, no, don’t fight it.

- After befriending Kiyotaka, Mondo went to his French class for the first time in his school career. (He picked it because it was an easy A.) Listening to his teacher, he realized very quickly that she was not a native speaker, nor had she learned from a native speaker. He was quiet for a solid five minutes and then said, in perfect French, “What the fuck are you talking about??”

- Dyslexia makes it so that letters and words are hard for him to understand. But numbers? Ohoho he knows all about those little bitches! Because of this, he’s shockingly good at subjects like Algebra and Calculus.

Angst: (CW: Abandonment, dissociation, child abuse, neglect, violence)

- Mondo’s dad was a real piece of shit to both his wife and kids. Unfortunately, Moselle, his mother, could only find one way to cope with it. She dissociated to the point where she couldn’t recognize her children.

- Daiya and Mondo didn’t know what was wrong with her, so they always said that “Maman is just away.”

- While Daiya was busy trying to take care of his little brother, Mondo dedicated himself to taking care of their mother. Despite Moselle not being able to do much more than basic self-care, Mondo was convinced that she was just sick, and that they needed to help her get better.

- I won’t go into heavy details, but Mondo and Daiya ended up homeless. After the trauma of what he went through with his parents, Mondo went entirely nonverbal for several years.

- One day, while Daiya was away looking for a source of income, Mondo was mugged while alone. A shot through the shoulder left him on the floor looking for help. No one bothered until Officer Takaaki Ishimaru came along. He got Mondo to a hospital just in time.

- Because of nights spent outside, Mondo tends to get Wind Anxiety. When the wind blows fast enough to be heard from inside, Mondo automatically starts shivering. It doesn’t matter if he actually feels cold or not, it’s just an unfortunate muscle memory.

- Mondo doesn’t remember a lot about his childhood, but he finds he can’t forget what his mother’s face looked like just before her death. He refuses to sleep most days because his dreams are full of her eyes looking directly at him.

- Daiya doesn’t remember a thing, but Mondo refuses to remind him. He’d rather Daiya live in blissful ignorance than have him suffer the way Mondo has.

- Mondo still goes nonverbal sometimes, so he likes to wear a face mask. He looks intimidating in that, so no one tries to talk to him when he’s wearing it. Win-win.

- While the Crazy Diamonds is genuinely fun, it’s not a healthy environment for Mondo in the slightest. There’s a large minority of members who still think he’s too weak to be in the gang. They constantly try to pester and bully him into retiring early.

- It was even worse when Daiya was still in charge. Almost everyone hated him. He would get into fights, people would tell him that he should get into a crash and die so that they wouldn’t have to deal with him anymore. It was rough.

- Even so, Mondo stayed quiet about it. These people were like family to Daiya, and Mondo didn’t want to be the reason Daiya lost any more family. When Daiya asked why he’d come home with bruises all over, Mondo would blame it on a rival gang.

- The first time Hiroko met Mondo, she gave him a hug. She did that thing moms do, cradling the back of his head and neck with her hand protectively. Mondo absolutely melted.

Platonic Pairings:

Mondo + Kyoko:

- These two mean. So much to me.

- They are both black cat coded but in completely different ways. Like Kyoko is a mysterious and dark Witch’s Familiar, and Mondo is a moody dumbass who likes snuggles.

- Kyoko’s love language isn’t physical affection. But she spontaneously decides to cuddle with Mondo for an hour and a half to the second, and then silently leaves.

- Mondo joins Kyoko on her murder investigations sometimes. He contributes practically nothing, he’s just here to hang out. Kyoko appreciates his presence anyway.

Mondo + Chihiro:

- Okay this one’s just obvious.

- I don’t even think I need to say anything about this.

Mondo + Toko:

- Mwah. Delicious.

- I think that Mondo would hate the way Byakuya treats Toko, and would start aggressively defending her.

- He starts “training” her in order to try and get her confidence up.

- Like, Toko wears a rubber band around her wrist that Mondo snaps every time she self-deprecates. Pavlov her into positive self talk, y’know?

- Toko tells Byakuya to go fuck himself and Mondo stands in the background, wiping a tear from his eye.

Mondo + Celeste:

- Sibling energy frfr.

- They scream at each other in French, but would go to war for each other no questions asked.

- They shit-talk other people together.

- Celeste forces him to wear his hair down every now and again because “The big hair distracts from your pretty face!”

- Mondo points out that she’s a hypocrite. Celeste doesn’t care.

- These two fight so much but there’s no real animosity behind it. Not that anyone around them can tell. Everyone else thinks that they just plain hate each other.

Mondo + Gundham:

- Childhood friends. Hear me out.

- Mondo found a really sick stray puppy when he was little and rushed him to the vet. The vet said that since Mondo didn’t have any money, there was nothing they could do. Mondo was really upset.

- Baby Gundham came up behind them like “You foulest of fiends! It would seem your soul has been buried under stone, if you have it in you to turn away a creature in need. Worry not, mortal, for I, the great Gundham Tanaka, will help you restore this dark beast to its rightful glory!”

- Baby Mondo was like “Okay lol” and they both left.

- That’s how Mondo got Chuck.

Mondo + Mikan:

- Hoo boy!!

- Mondo is in the infirmary a lot due to obvious reasons, so it’s only natural that he would be friendly with the nurse.

- Every time Hiyoko or someone else tries to come in and bully Mikan, Mondo picks them up by the neck and throws them out.

- It’s gotten to the point where, even if Mondo isn’t there, Mikan will just tell people “If you won’t leave me alone, I’ll call Owada!” No one fucks with that.

- Overall, having Mondo’s protection is a huge confidence boost for her.

Kay there you go.

[burningtheroots]

Okay, this might be controversial, but …

We all know and see how feminism — mainstream feminism — began to more and more include and revolve around men, although feminism is supposed to be specifically for women‘s rights.

I could say a lot about how mainstream "feminism" has become just another men‘s rights movement in disguise, BUT that‘s not the point of this post.

What came to my mind long ago is that every other social justice movement centers men, too. Now I‘m not saying that men can‘t be oppressed based on ethnicity, sexuality, class, nationality, disability etc., and they certainly are part of movements about these issues. (not comparable to FEMinism, of course, since men are NOT oppressed on the basis of their sex — even intersectional feminism is only for WOMEN as they face unique oppression for being female, and oppressive systems are the result of male supremacy)

However, the more I observe what‘s going on, the more I notice that men are the center of these movements although it affects women just as much, and even more because misogyny and racism, homophobia etc. intertwine.

So, we got an LGBTQIAwhatever+ movement which is more concerned with male sexuality and male feelings than women‘s voices and safety. Not only in terms of the gender debate and the fact that women get dehumanized (e.g. "menstruators", "birthing people", "bonus hole") and that their sex-based reality gets erased, but also when it comes to how LGBTQIAwhatever+ rights are framed. For example, "kink" has been heavily pushed forward by and centered around the men, even during the beginning of the movement, although lesbian and bisexual women have always been critical of it, yet it‘s now the public image we get associated with as well. Women are hoping for solidarity with the men, but the men somehow still don‘t bother to work on their misogyny. It‘s inarguable that while the women and men share the oppression through homophobia — and don’t get me wrong, I think that all LGB people should fight against homophobia together — the women are still oppressed by the men due to misogyny.

We also have a Black Lives Matter movement, which has thankfully raised a lot of awareness since it started and is an integral part of social justice. However, the phenomenon remains the same: Men are centered, whereas the women have to mostly fend for themselves. I‘m not comparing case X to case Z or something like that, but the outrage when a black woman gets violated and faces misogynoir is very little compared to cases of while man on black man violence. I‘m not saying "pay less attention to victims who are black men!", I‘m saying "pay more attention to victims who are black women!" (same goes for racism and hate crimes against other ethnicities). And I‘m not glossing over the fact that there are MANY amazing black women who raise their voices and do meaningful activism, I‘m just saying that they don’t receive the same platform as their male counterparts, face misogyny (including heavy sexualization) from both black and white men and often feel the need to give up some space for the men, as apparently women can‘t talk about the female experience exclusively in the society we live in without getting scrutinized.

Then we got the Disability Rights Movement, which is somehow less popular but still as important. While most of the rights and affirmations are for both men and women alike, the men are still seen as a priority, both compared to other disabled women and in some cases also non-disabled women. Many disabled women have spoken about how disabled men still sexualize them and subject them to their misogyny, and we even got to the point where disabled men are supposed to be given access to rape prostitutes (yes, prostitution is paid rape even when you‘re disabled) whilst disabled women barely have the right to same-sex intimate care and are also more likely to get medically mistreated.

I could go on about how poor/homeless women are belittled and forced into prostitution and therefore overlooked compared to poor/homeless men (the notion that there are more poor/homeless men than women and hence men have it worse is false as the poor/homeless women end up as sex trafficking victims, especially during war times, or at least get coerced into enduring paid rape), how the "body positivity" movement has become another men‘s sexual fantasy, how discussions about religious indoctrination and extremism usually revolve around the boys and men who get dragged into becoming violent fanatics whilst the girls and women are expected to have empathy for their abusers, how men assert their male privilege shamelessly and regardless of all these aspects above …

But in the end, what becomes clear, is that men enthusiastically use the tools of patriarchy even when fighting against other forms of social injustice, and we as women deserve so much better than this — and this is also why we need to unite ourselves and prioritize one another.

[amyriadfthings]

[Have the whole interview]

The Projectionist

With Andrew Scott and Paul Mescal, It’s All About Chemistry

After “Fleabag” and “Normal People” made them romantic idols, the two actors forge their own tender bond in “All of Us Strangers.”

“Have you seen the sausage ad?” Andrew Scott asked me.

“No, no, we’re not going to talk about that,” Paul Mescal said.

It was a mid-November morning in Los Angeles, and I was having breakfast with two actors who have created some of the most indelible romantic leads of recent vintage: Scott, 47, played the “Hot Priest” on the second season of “Fleabag,” while the 27-year-old Mescal broke through — and broke hearts — as the conflicted jock Connell in Hulu’s “Normal People.”

Now, instead of aiming those love beams at women, they’ll point them at each other in the drama “All of Us Strangers,” due Dec. 22 in theaters. It’s like an Avengers-level team-up, if the Avengers recruited exclusively from the ranks of sad-eyed Irish heartthrobs who caused a sensation over the 2019-20 television season.

But before we could talk about their sexy, shattering new movie, Scott gently ribbed his co-star about an ad for an Irish sausage brand, Denny, that Mescal had starred in just out of drama school. (Though the rest of the world was introduced to Mescal in “Normal People,” Ireland already knew him from the ubiquitous sausage commercial.)

“Look, I needed that job in a massive way,” Mescal said. “That paid my rent for the rest of the year. But if I could take it back …”

“Ah, no, it’s lovely you have that!” Scott said. “I actually thought the character you created in the sausage ad was …”

“… career defining?” Mescal offered.

“It made me want a sausage!” Scott said a little too eagerly, causing both men to laugh. “Easy, folks, that’s too easy a joke,” Mescal said.

Scott and Mescal’s teasing, affectionate chemistry is put to excellent use in “All of Us Strangers,” directed by Andrew Haigh (“Weekend,” “45 Years”). Scott stars as Adam, a lonely writer who finds that his childhood home has become a mysterious portal that allows him to reconnect with his long-dead parents (played by Claire Foy and Jamie Bell). At the same time as Adam grapples with this past made manifestly present, he navigates an uncertain but tantalizing future with his neighbor Harry (Mescal), with whom he develops an intense romantic bond.

Over breakfast, we discussed the movie, which recently took the top prize at the British Independent Film Awards in addition to wins for directing, writing and Mescal’s supporting performance. Here are edited excerpts from our conversation.

Andrew, you were attached to this movie first. How did you feel when Paul was cast?

SCOTT I was really thrilled because I was hoping that people would be able to see how cinematic and brilliant that role is.

MESCAL It never occurred to me that people wouldn’t be interested in it.

SCOTT Well, the character is such a vessel for love. To be able to play love, it’s something that you have to just know how to embody, and Paul is so excellent about being able to allow the audience in. When I heard he was interested, I was saying to Andrew, “Make that happen!”

MESCAL Even if I didn’t like the script or Andrew Haigh as much as I do, and I knew Andrew [Scott] was going to be doing the film, I still would have done the film.

SCOTT Would you?

MESCAL A hundred percent. And I know that probably sounds sycophantic, but when I was reading it and imagining you’d do it, I thought, “This is built for an actor of your caliber.” There’s lots of brilliant dramatic actors in the world, but what I think separates Andrew is his capacity to understand the dramatic requirements of a scene but also to play utterly against it. He finds humor in subject matter like this, which is really quite heavy, and if you can make an audience laugh, you’re halfway to making them cry.

This is a very tactile movie, too.

SCOTT There’s so much touching, whether that’s familial touching or a more sensual thing. People have talked an awful lot about the chemistry and the sex between our characters, but actually what I think is really radical and affecting about the relationship is how affectionate and tender they are with each other. It’s such a beautiful thing to play, isn’t it? Just real care.

MESCAL I find it healing to watch that kind of emotional intimacy. I remember being surprised when we watched it for the first time, because I didn’t remember being so close to your face when we were talking, how we were totally taking each other in. There’s a weird thing that I don’t think you can cheat: You know how when somebody you love is talking to you, and you look at their lips? It’s like, Jesus, I can’t remember doing that.

Andrew, you’ve said before that acting is a matter of revealing. What’s being revealed about you by taking on this role?

SCOTT I think an awful lot, if I’m honest. I’m happy to be able to say that to be emancipated from shame has been genuinely the biggest achievement of my life. For a long time, I have felt very comfortable with myself, but it doesn’t take much to go back there — something a taxi driver can say can still wound you. If he might say, “You’ve got a wife?” You could go, “No, I don’t,” or is that sort of a lie by omission? I think the challenge was to undo the work and go to that place where you feel frightened.

How were you able to emancipate yourself from shame?

SCOTT I genuinely think that acting helped me. When I was a kid, I started doing elocution lessons because I had a really bad lisp. “She sells seashells,” I had to say that 17 times a day. So they sent me to elocution, which was boring, but eventually it was speech and drama classes. I was so shy and terrified, but then someone would say, “Get up and do an improvisation,” and some part of me felt …

MESCAL … free?

SCOTT Free, and I loved it. And then I practiced it a little bit more and then started doing it as a job. When I was 18 or 19, I was playing gay parts but I wasn’t out. A lot of people within the industry were queer, so I was surrounded by them and then, bit by bit, started to feel confident. To make something like [“All of Us Strangers”], it moves me, because I never thought that I’d get a chance to expose myself so much in a film like this or for it to be in such a trusting environment with such brilliant colleagues.

And do you rush headlong into the chance to expose yourself like that?

SCOTT I do. It’s my responsibility. The further I go into acting, I think that’s all it is, actually.

In the first scene you share, Paul’s character is boldly trying to flirt his way into Andrew’s apartment. Paul, it’s a kick to see you play a man so assertive and sure of what he wants.

MESCAL I was just so giddy because I don’t think I’ve got many opportunities to play somebody like that. It reminded me of characters I would have played in drama school — a lot more front-footed, a little bit bolder. Part of it was surprising an audience that might associate me with more interior, back-footed characters that I’ve played.

SCOTT I remember so clearly you saying the line, “There’s vampires at my door.” That line could seem completely preposterous and it’s a hard sell, but it’s unique, right? I’m obsessed with writing that has a real autograph about it.

MESCAL ChatGPT wouldn’t come up with that.

SCOTT Exactly. And human beings have an extraordinary way of expressing themselves. I feel the same way when people talk about big acting.

MESCAL I love big acting.

SCOTT Some people do that kind of polite, nobody-will-notice-me acting, and sometimes it can be a little dull.

MESCAL You’re looking for an opportunity to play something truthfully, but also if that truth can be a bigger, more fractious choice, maybe that could be fun.

What’s the biggest acting you’ve ever done?

SCOTT Oh my God. Pick a card, any card. I did a play called “Present Laughter” by Noël Coward, about a guy who’s an over-the-top actor. It was kind of a farce, and I’m obsessed with farce.

MESCAL I am so jealous of people who can do farce, I don’t know where I would start.

SCOTT It’s all about timing the slam of the door, and there’s no greater feeling than when you’re talking to the other actor and you are waiting for the audience to stop laughing. You’d love it because it’s so physical as well.

MESCAL I’m just a bit scared of comedy because I didn’t do a lot of it in drama school. Don’t think [I’ve got] a particularly funny disposition.

SCOTT Are you out of your mind? I’m going to have a little think now.

MESCAL I’d love to do a rom-com.

SCOTT I think you’d be very good at playing some sort of neurotic.

MESCAL Really?

SCOTT Yeah. I love those kinds of characters that don’t have a sense of humor.

MESCAL No sense of humor. Great. I can do that, I can do that easily. [Laughs.]

With “Normal People” and “Fleabag,” where you played romantic leads, how did you handle the intensity of the audience imprinting on you?

MESCAL I remember the first couple of months of that happening, I was like, “Jesus, what can I do?” And the answer is actually nothing. There’s nothing you can do about it if somebody wants to imprint or project onto you.

SCOTT That was all during the pandemic, wasn’t it?

MESCAL Yeah, yeah.

Was it better or worse that you were in your house for most of it?

MESCAL Much, much better. Even doing junkets when “Normal People” came out, I was really glad to do it within the confines of my own home. I could put the laptop down and nobody knew where I was.

Andrew, you weren’t trapped at home when “Fleabag” came out. Could you tell something had changed in the way people perceived you?

SCOTT It already happened a little bit when I did “Sherlock” [playing Moriarty] because that really does have a fandom. There were like a thousand people that would come to set, it was absolutely insane.

MESCAL Jesus.

SCOTT So “Fleabag" was completely different in that sense. It didn’t have the same frenzy.

Maybe not as you were filming it, but there was definitely a passionate fandom once it was released.

SCOTT There was, but I really enjoyed that because I love the show. I’m so proud of it and I loved that part, so I liked that it really affected people so much.

MESCAL Still! I watch it once a year.

Paul, you even dressed as the hot priest for Halloween.

MESCAL I did. That went down a bit of a storm.

When you have a breakthrough project like those two series, and you’re seen differently in this business afterward, is it hard not to get swept up by all the offers that come your way?

MESCAL I know what I like. I don’t have the confidence in myself as an actor to do something that isn’t good. I don’t think I can pull the wool over people’s eyes with bells and whistles in terms of performance, and I’m actually glad I can’t do that.

SCOTT But is it weird when you are in L.A. now? I opened up my curtains this morning, and there you are.

MESCAL Yeah, my Gucci billboard.

SCOTT That’s insane.

MESCAL It is bananas. Yeah, I’m really proud of that, but I’m also acutely aware the only reason that’s happening is because people are enjoying the work that I’m doing. It can all disappear, like that.

Paul, you’re currently working on Ridley Scott’s sequel to “Gladiator.” I’m sure you’ve been pursued for a lot of blockbusters, so what made you choose this one?

MESCAL I love the first film and I think Ridley is an all-time great, so that was a no-brainer to me. I don’t really have a desire to make lots of big films in my life, but if this was the only big film I was ever to make, I would put my name into the mix anywhere for that. I’m having a great time doing it, but I also think there’s an obligation to understand that I don’t want an audience to get bored of me, or expect me to do the big indie film every year or two, because they’re really hard to get right.

Which is hard to get right, the big film or the indie?

MESCAL A film like “All of Us Strangers” or “Aftersun.” I’ve been incredibly lucky that those scripts came across my desk because there’s lots of other indies that are really well intentioned that don’t reach an audience. Also, it’s hard to go to the emotional well year after year with stuff like this, so I don’t want an audience to get bored of my choices or expect that I’m going to do that.

SCOTT Do you remember you got the “Gladiator” call when we were on the set of “All of Us Strangers”? You were so excited. I think I was even more excited, but you were so lit up about it. I think one of the fun things about being an actor that’s open to you is that you can do whatever you really want.

MESCAL That’s what makes you tick, to go from scenes like we get to play in “All of Us Strangers” to then doing stuff where you’re running around in an arena. If I was to boil down why I love this job, it’s that you get to go to work and pretend all day long but the thing that you would imagine as a child is actually actualized.

SCOTT Have there been any moments in “Gladiator” where you’re like, “This is amazing”?

MESCAL The first day was just bananas. There was camels and thousands of extras. Two close-ups on me. A close-up on the action. And you’re just like, “I’ve got to fake this till I make it.” Wild. Wild. Wild.

SCOTT Yeah, it’s playing. It really is. You’re required to play a part, you’re not required to work a part.

It’s heartening to hear you both describe acting as play or pretend. You talk about it in such joyful terms, but some of the other leading men I’ve spoken to will …

MESCAL … fetishize the pain.

SCOTT It embarrasses them.

MESCAL It’s important to say that “pretend” doesn’t make it any less emotional or difficult to do, but I think it actually gives you a greater range of possibility in a scene. That’s not to say there weren’t days on [“All of Us Strangers”] that felt like some sort of psychological torture.

SCOTT Absolutely.

MESCAL But the act of making it? It can’t be that, because then it just becomes about “How hard can I grip this table? How much pain can I put myself through in order to talk about it to the press?”

SCOTT I think of it sometimes like you invited somebody around for dinner and you said, “I could not find any organic chicken in the market, it was an absolute nightmare. Then I had to hoover the place from top to bottom.” And they’re just like, “Give me a glass of wine. I don’t want to hear about what you did, I’m just here for dinner.”

MESCAL Yeah, that’s spot on.

SCOTT What you need to do is have the generosity to get the chicken out.

MESCAL Organic or not.

Kyle Buchanan is a pop culture reporter and serves as The Projectionist, the awards season columnist for The Times. He is the author of “Blood, Sweat & Chrome: The Wild and True Story of Mad Max: Fury Road.” More about Kyle Buchanan

A version of this article appears in print on Dec. 7, 2023, Section C, Page 1 of the New York edition with the headline: Two Hearts Beating As One. Order Reprints | Today’s Paper | Subscribe

[haileyywrites]

Young Morax was foolish enough to fall in love with a mortal woman whom would fall pregnant and give birth to his only ever child. Sadly as an Archon he could not be apart of your life, nor could your true nature be revealed to the world. Your mother especially wishing to keep you safe to the point you are isolated from the rest of the world...

-> Zhongli / Morax x reader! Platonic!

-> Reader is gender neutral with they/them pronouns! Pretty heavy themes! Essentially an absentee father and a single mother slowly losing herself to paranoia due to your father's identity and wanting to keep you safe! Reader is isolated and incredibly lonely! Death - mother dies of old age! This is just fanfiction so it might not be loore accurate! Also this is not proofread as it's long and I'm lazy...

To many children their parents are the equivalent of God, they're there usually from the moment of the child's creation and are always there to guide them through life. They pass on their knowledge to their children to help them survive the world they live in.

But what if a god were to have a child or children? Would their child be a god as well, should they be treated different from others due to this? In Teyvat most of the Seven have lived hundreds upon thousands of years, but not once had any of the acting Archon's had children - at least as far as the mortals knew. Lovers perhaps weren't so uncommon, but it was still incredibly rare due to their exalted status and long lives. Yet things happened, and foolishly the young Morax fell in love with a mortal woman who would come to bear him a single child - his only child.

Their relationship had crumbled before the news and these news did not help their situation. It was bad enough that he allowed himself to be so careless, but your mother was adamant she'd keep you, with or without his support. He had no choice but to agree, he only asked your true nature be kept a secret they would take to their grave. Informing the world of your existance would put in danger not only you but also your mother, so she agreed and the contract was sealed.

You were born a happy and healthy baby some time after and though it took everything from your mother, she pushed through with the help of the best doctors in Teyvat. Morax had arranged everything to support you and your mother. He kept his involvement subtle to stop anyone from connecting the dots, but due to this he wasn't there for your birth. He bought your mother an accommodating house for the two of you, it was modest to not draw any suspicion but fit the needs of the two of you perfectly. You were his flesh and blood, he would make sure you were both taken care of to the point your mother no longer needed to work.

Things were fine at first, your mother had everything she needed and you were both looked after. But the more you grew the more worried and paranoid she grew... She kept thinking and believing someone would recognize or figure out your identity. If anyone stared at you for even a moment longer than she wanted them to, she would immediately think you were in mortal peril. She would freak and lash out accusing them of wishing to harm you - no matter who they were or their age was...

It wasn't surprising you grew up as an outcast due to her behavior, no parent would allow their child near you or wished to approach you themselves in fear of being the target of her latest outburst. If you were to ever venture outside - even without your mother people would avert their eyes and move to the other side of the street, avoiding you like a plague... At the age when you couldn't understand why this was it hurt, but it was even worse when you did because you couldn't blame them for it.

The only one she trusted even a little was the one she now depended on, your father. She was always hesitant and outright avoided the subject when or if you brought it up. It was for your own good - or so she would tell you. For as longs as you knew your father existed you had tried everything to gain the tiniest sliver of knowledge from her, but she refused to pudge. However, she wasn't as smart or careful as she thought herself to be.

Sometimes, in the middle of the night when you were sure to be deep asleep - the front door would open and your mother would faintly whisper a hello to whoever was at the door... Heavy but soft footsteps walked inside your home as the person entered and sat at the dinner table. He would greet your mother rather warmly with his deep but comforting voice. Strange as it was, it didn't consern you as your mother clearly knew them and you were about to fall back asleep. But then he would ask something that caught your attention.

“It's been some time, how have things been? Have they grown a lot?” He casually asked, something they had clearly talked about before.

“Everything's been fine and they're fine too. I have some pictures we recently took, I know you can't keep them but maybe you'd like to at least see them?” She sounded so calm when with him...

“That sounds wonderful, thank you.” He softly answered.

Your mother moved around the kitchen looking for the pictures and some papers by the sound of it. You couldn't help yourself any longer as you crawled out of bed and slowly drew back your door to peer out of the crack. A tall man with long brown hair and strange clothing sat next to your mother as they went through the polaroid pictures of you - after which your mother handed your latest drawings to him. They chuckled and talked together quietly as they went through each one.

“I've been hearing some concerning things about you.” The man said to your mother, as the air suddenly became tense.

“Like what?” She curtly asked.

“About your outbursts.” He carefully said, but your mother only scoffed in response. “I'm worried about you.”

“I already told you - we're fine. I think its getting late, you should get going.” She glared at him and he didn't fight back.

The man stood up, but then slowly turned towards your door where you could have sworn your eyes met his through the crack you were peering from. You quickly but quietly scrambled back into bed and under the covers while trying your best to apear asleep while trying to muffle your breathing to hear anything said. After a moment the door creaked open as the man slowly stepped inside.

He stopped at the doorway and looked around your room before turning to your mother, "I will say my goodbyes and be on my way."

“Just don't wake them up.” She sighed.

The man sat on the edge of your bed and brushed your hair away from your face gently, he was clearly aware you weren't asleep but he didn't say anything. He stopped after a moment to whisper a small goodnight before standing up and heading for the door.

He stopped there once again before whispering something to you, “Take care of your mother.”

You didn't respond and he didn't expect you to. At the time you didn't understand what those words had meant, how could you take care of your mother? You were just a child and she was a mother - your mother. But you wouldn't remain a child forever and she only had you in her life, he couldn't be there for her even if he wanted to and he did. He truly cared about you and your mother, but that was even more reason to keep his distance and keep contact minimal.

It was never in their intentions to let you know your father's or your true identity, but after that night things would never be the same. Even at your young age it wasn't that difficult to figure out his identity, he had features unique to only him and when comparing him to any statue it was quite obvious. Your father was none other than the Geo Archon of Liyue, the land of contracts.

Even after you grew older and your mother passed away peacefully, it was never brought up. She knew you knew the truth, but she would take the truth to her grave without ever explicitly telling even you. Even as she was dying she remained stubborn and untrusting... Her death impacted your whole life, as she was the only person you had ever formed a connection with. Your whole life revolved around her and her paranoia towards everyone, you had lived your whole life in this small house you called home with her alone.

Taking your first steps back into the real world and into society was incredibly terrifying, it was like relearning how to walk or talk. You had to learn social cues and how to connect with other people, but you managed. Never did anyone suspect your true identity or wish to harm you the way your mother so feared. It was horrible how she lost herself to that paranoia and fear when none of it ever came true or payed off...

But what about your father? Rex Lapis was dead and that is what you believed when the news hit you. It was sad that you had now lost both parents, but you never really knew him so you couldn't mourn him the way you mourned your mother. But he wasn't dead after all, or perhaps Rex Lapis and Morax was - but the man who once used them wasn't. It wasn't intentional, but you did find out.

You had walked through town with your groceries, you turned your head towards the Third-Round Knockout where Iron Tongue Tian was telling one of his regular stories. You weren't in a hurry, thus you decided to sit and listen for a while. Most of the tables were filled except for one where a lone man sat. You approached with a sheepish smile and gained his attention with a cough.

“Would you mind if I sit with you to listen?” You asked politely.

“Not at all.” He smiled warmly and motioned for you to sit down.

“Thank you, sir.” You sat down and listened to the story being told, but you couldn't shake the feeling of familiarity.

His voice was distinct, yet sounded so incredibly familiar... You didn't wish to be rude and stare, but you couldn't help yourself from glancing at him every once in a while. It didn't take long for him to notice and turn to face you - that is when it all hit you. Those eyes, that hair and that voice. He was no doubt your father, the Geo Archon and the one who was now supposedly dead. Yet there he sat, right before you as you stared at him wide-eyed.

“I suspect we have much to talk about.” He weakly chuckled.

A/N: You guys don't know how bad I wanted to end this with ZhongChi and having him introduce you to Childe😭

Anyways I hope you liked reading this! If you did feel free to like and or reblog <3

[denimbex1986]

'“Have you seen the sausage ad?” Andrew Scott asked me.

“No, no, we’re not going to talk about that,” Paul Mescal said.

It was a mid-November morning in Los Angeles, and I was having breakfast with two actors who have created some of the most indelible romantic leads of recent vintage: Scott, 47, played the “Hot Priest” on the second season of “Fleabag,” while the 27-year-old Mescal broke through — and broke hearts — as the conflicted jock Connell in Hulu’s “Normal People.”

Now, instead of aiming those love beams at women, they’ll point them at each other in the drama “All of Us Strangers,” due Dec. 22 in theaters. It’s like an Avengers-level team-up, if the Avengers recruited exclusively from the ranks of sad-eyed Irish heartthrobs who caused a sensation over the 2019-20 television season.

But before we could talk about their sexy, shattering new movie, Scott gently ribbed his co-star about an ad for an Irish sausage brand, Denny, that Mescal had starred in just out of drama school. (Though the rest of the world was introduced to Mescal in “Normal People,” Ireland already knew him from the ubiquitous sausage commercial.)

“Look, I needed that job in a massive way,” Mescal said. “That paid my rent for the rest of the year. But if I could take it back …”

“Ah, no, it’s lovely you have that!” Scott said. “I actually thought the character you created in the sausage ad was …”

“… career defining?” Mescal offered.

“It made me want a sausage!” Scott said a little too eagerly, causing both men to laugh. “Easy, folks, that’s too easy a joke,” Mescal said.

Scott and Mescal’s teasing, affectionate chemistry is put to excellent use in “All of Us Strangers,” directed by Andrew Haigh (“Weekend,” “45 Years”). Scott stars as Adam, a lonely writer who finds that his childhood home has become a mysterious portal that allows him to reconnect with his long-dead parents (played by Claire Foy and Jamie Bell). At the same time as Adam grapples with this past made manifestly present, he navigates an uncertain but tantalizing future with his neighbor Harry (Mescal), with whom he develops an intense romantic bond.

Over breakfast, we discussed the movie, which recently took the top prize at the British Independent Film Awards in addition to wins for directing, writing and Mescal’s supporting performance. Here are edited excerpts from our conversation.

Andrew, you were attached to this movie first. How did you feel when Paul was cast?

SCOTT I was really thrilled because I was hoping that people would be able to see how cinematic and brilliant that role is.

MESCAL It never occurred to me that people wouldn’t be interested in it.

SCOTT Well, the character is such a vessel for love. To be able to play love, it’s something that you have to just know how to embody, and Paul is so excellent about being able to allow the audience in. When I heard he was interested, I was saying to Andrew, “Make that happen!”

MESCAL Even if I didn’t like the script or Andrew Haigh as much as I do, and I knew Andrew [Scott] was going to be doing the film, I still would have done the film.

SCOTT Would you?

MESCAL A hundred percent. And I know that probably sounds sycophantic, but when I was reading it and imagining you’d do it, I thought, “This is built for an actor of your caliber.” There’s lots of brilliant dramatic actors in the world, but what I think separates Andrew is his capacity to understand the dramatic requirements of a scene but also to play utterly against it. He finds humor in subject matter like this, which is really quite heavy, and if you can make an audience laugh, you’re halfway to making them cry.

This is a very tactile movie, too.

SCOTT There’s so much touching, whether that’s familial touching or a more sensual thing. People have talked an awful lot about the chemistry and the sex between our characters, but actually what I think is really radical and affecting about the relationship is how affectionate and tender they are with each other. It’s such a beautiful thing to play, isn’t it? Just real care.

MESCAL I find it healing to watch that kind of emotional intimacy. I remember being surprised when we watched it for the first time, because I didn’t remember being so close to your face when we were talking, how we were totally taking each other in. There’s a weird thing that I don’t think you can cheat: You know how when somebody you love is talking to you, and you look at their lips? It’s like, Jesus, I can’t remember doing that.

Andrew, you’ve said before that acting is a matter of revealing. What’s being revealed about you by taking on this role?

SCOTT I think an awful lot, if I’m honest. I’m happy to be able to say that to be emancipated from shame has been genuinely the biggest achievement of my life. For a long time, I have felt very comfortable with myself, but it doesn’t take much to go back there — something a taxi driver can say can still wound you. If he might say, “You’ve got a wife?” You could go, “No, I don’t,” or is that sort of a lie by omission? I think the challenge was to undo the work and go to that place where you feel frightened.

How were you able to emancipate yourself from shame?

SCOTT I genuinely think that acting helped me. When I was a kid, I started doing elocution lessons because I had a really bad lisp. “She sells seashells,” I had to say that 17 times a day. So they sent me to elocution, which was boring, but eventually it was speech and drama classes. I was so shy and terrified, but then someone would say, “Get up and do an improvisation,” and some part of me felt …

MESCAL … free?

SCOTT Free, and I loved it. And then I practiced it a little bit more and then started doing it as a job. When I was 18 or 19, I was playing gay parts but I wasn’t out. A lot of people within the industry were queer, so I was surrounded by them and then, bit by bit, started to feel confident. To make something like [“All of Us Strangers”], it moves me, because I never thought that I’d get a chance to expose myself so much in a film like this or for it to be in such a trusting environment with such brilliant colleagues.

And do you rush headlong into the chance to expose yourself like that?

SCOTT I do. It’s my responsibility. The further I go into acting, I think that’s all it is, actually.

In the first scene you share, Paul’s character is boldly trying to flirt his way into Andrew’s apartment. Paul, it’s a kick to see you play a man so assertive and sure of what he wants.

MESCAL I was just so giddy because I don’t think I’ve got many opportunities to play somebody like that. It reminded me of characters I would have played in drama school — a lot more front-footed, a little bit bolder. Part of it was surprising an audience that might associate me with more interior, back-footed characters that I’ve played.

SCOTT I remember so clearly you saying the line, “There’s vampires at my door.” That line could seem completely preposterous and it’s a hard sell, but it’s unique, right? I’m obsessed with writing that has a real autograph about it.

MESCAL ChatGPT wouldn’t come up with that.

SCOTT Exactly. And human beings have an extraordinary way of expressing themselves. I feel the same way when people talk about big acting.

MESCAL I love big acting.

SCOTT Some people do that kind of polite, nobody-will-notice-me acting, and sometimes it can be a little dull.

MESCAL You’re looking for an opportunity to play something truthfully, but also if that truth can be a bigger, more fractious choice, maybe that could be fun.

What’s the biggest acting you’ve ever done?

SCOTT Oh my God. Pick a card, any card. I did a play called “Present Laughter” by Noël Coward, about a guy who’s an over-the-top actor. It was kind of a farce, and I’m obsessed with farce.

MESCAL I am so jealous of people who can do farce, I don’t know where I would start.

SCOTT It’s all about timing the slam of the door, and there’s no greater feeling than when you’re talking to the other actor and you are waiting for the audience to stop laughing. You’d love it because it’s so physical as well.

MESCAL I’m just a bit scared of comedy because I didn’t do a lot of it in drama school. Don’t think [I’ve got] a particularly funny disposition.

SCOTT Are you out of your mind? I’m going to have a little think now.

MESCAL I’d love to do a rom-com.

SCOTT I think you’d be very good at playing some sort of neurotic.

MESCAL Really?

SCOTT Yeah. I love those kinds of characters that don’t have a sense of humor.

MESCAL No sense of humor. Great. I can do that, I can do that easily. [Laughs.]

With “Normal People” and “Fleabag,” where you played romantic leads, how did you handle the intensity of the audience imprinting on you?

MESCAL I remember the first couple of months of that happening, I was like, “Jesus, what can I do?” And the answer is actually nothing. There’s nothing you can do about it if somebody wants to imprint or project onto you.

SCOTT That was all during the pandemic, wasn’t it?

MESCAL Yeah, yeah.

Was it better or worse that you were in your house for most of it?

MESCAL Much, much better. Even doing junkets when “Normal People” came out, I was really glad to do it within the confines of my own home. I could put the laptop down and nobody knew where I was.

Andrew, you weren’t trapped at home when “Fleabag” came out. Could you tell something had changed in the way people perceived you?

SCOTT It already happened a little bit when I did “Sherlock” [playing Moriarty] because that really does have a fandom. There were like a thousand people that would come to set, it was absolutely insane.

MESCAL Jesus.

SCOTT So “Fleabag" was completely different in that sense. It didn’t have the same frenzy.

Maybe not as you were filming it, but there was definitely a passionate fandom once it was released.

SCOTT There was, but I really enjoyed that because I love the show. I’m so proud of it and I loved that part, so I liked that it really affected people so much.

MESCAL Still! I watch it once a year.

Paul, you even dressed as the hot priest for Halloween.

MESCAL I did. That went down a bit of a storm.

When you have a breakthrough project like those two series, and you’re seen differently in this business afterward, is it hard not to get swept up by all the offers that come your way?

MESCAL I know what I like. I don’t have the confidence in myself as an actor to do something that isn’t good. I don’t think I can pull the wool over people’s eyes with bells and whistles in terms of performance, and I’m actually glad I can’t do that.

SCOTT But is it weird when you are in L.A. now? I opened up my curtains this morning, and there you are.

MESCAL Yeah, my Gucci billboard.

SCOTT That’s insane.

MESCAL It is bananas. Yeah, I’m really proud of that, but I’m also acutely aware the only reason that’s happening is because people are enjoying the work that I’m doing. It can all disappear, like that.

Paul, you’re currently working on Ridley Scott’s sequel to “Gladiator.” I’m sure you’ve been pursued for a lot of blockbusters, so what made you choose this one?

MESCAL I love the first film and I think Ridley is an all-time great, so that was a no-brainer to me. I don’t really have a desire to make lots of big films in my life, but if this was the only big film I was ever to make, I would put my name into the mix anywhere for that. I’m having a great time doing it, but I also think there’s an obligation to understand that I don’t want an audience to get bored of me, or expect me to do the big indie film every year or two, because they’re really hard to get right.

Which is hard to get right, the big film or the indie?

MESCAL A film like “All of Us Strangers” or “Aftersun.” I’ve been incredibly lucky that those scripts came across my desk because there’s lots of other indies that are really well intentioned that don’t reach an audience. Also, it’s hard to go to the emotional well year after year with stuff like this, so I don’t want an audience to get bored of my choices or expect that I’m going to do that.

SCOTT Do you remember you got the “Gladiator” call when we were on the set of “All of Us Strangers”? You were so excited. I think I was even more excited, but you were so lit up about it. I think one of the fun things about being an actor that’s open to you is that you can do whatever you really want.

MESCAL That’s what makes you tick, to go from scenes like we get to play in “All of Us Strangers” to then doing stuff where you’re running around in an arena. If I was to boil down why I love this job, it’s that you get to go to work and pretend all day long but the thing that you would imagine as a child is actually actualized.

SCOTT Have there been any moments in “Gladiator” where you’re like, “This is amazing”?

MESCAL The first day was just bananas. There was camels and thousands of extras. Two close-ups on me. A close-up on the action. And you’re just like, “I’ve got to fake this till I make it.” Wild. Wild. Wild.

SCOTT Yeah, it’s playing. It really is. You’re required to play a part, you’re not required to work a part.

It’s heartening to hear you both describe acting as play or pretend. You talk about it in such joyful terms, but some of the other leading men I’ve spoken to will …

MESCAL … fetishize the pain.

SCOTT It embarrasses them.

MESCAL It’s important to say that “pretend” doesn’t make it any less emotional or difficult to do, but I think it actually gives you a greater range of possibility in a scene. That’s not to say there weren’t days on [“All of Us Strangers”] that felt like some sort of psychological torture.

SCOTT Absolutely.

MESCAL But the act of making it? It can’t be that, because then it just becomes about “How hard can I grip this table? How much pain can I put myself through in order to talk about it to the press?”

SCOTT I think of it sometimes like you invited somebody around for dinner and you said, “I could not find any organic chicken in the market, it was an absolute nightmare. Then I had to hoover the place from top to bottom.” And they’re just like, “Give me a glass of wine. I don’t want to hear about what you did, I’m just here for dinner.”

MESCAL Yeah, that’s spot on.

SCOTT What you need to do is have the generosity to get the chicken out.

MESCAL Organic or not.'

[thecreaturecabin]

How did you go from art school to vet tech? Was there just like a 💡 moment? Or did it take a lot of thinking? Or maybe it was an accident?

Ah I realize I never gave much context! This is quite a long post, and covers some heavy subject matter like substance abuse and mental health struggles, so be warned <3 I tried to make it more digestible but truthfully, there is no easy way for me to describe what this was like to experience.

It was a long journey- I never had any goals outside of animation so when that didn’t work out I was pretty crushed. College was pretty traumatic for me, and it had a huge impact on how long it took me to move forward in life.

I sustained a wrist injury in autumn of 2021 when I started school for animation and it only got worse until i finished year 1 in April of 2022. It never got better during that time and I was in constant pain. By the end of the year, it was excruciating. I couldn’t even hold a plate.

Along with the pain, I was also very unhappy. I didn’t like animation nearly as much as I thought I would. I was failing most of my classes, and I was SO homesick. All I wanted to do was crawl into my mom’s arms and cry my heart out, but I was a five hour drive away- so I couldn’t. We were still in the midst of a pandemic too, so all my classes were online, which left me working, eating, and sleeping in the same room every single day. I barely left my dorm and almost every time I did, the only “friends” I had wanted to get drunk- So I did too.

They weren’t good friends, and encouraged me and each other to continue this behaviour. The only good friend that I still talk to was the first person I met on the day I moved in, and I’m so grateful for her. If it weren’t for her, I’m not sure what that point in my life would have looked like.

I can genuinely say I have never been so unhealthy in all my life. I was extremely depressed, i stopped caring about my health and stopped taking my meds, i was getting drunk or high every weekend, and would go hours and hours without eating anything. I started skipping class and sleeping all day only to stay up all night to try and catch up on work that was extremely overdue.

I just didn’t care anymore, and that was unlike me. It really scared me. I was alone on my birthday, and the first decision I had to make as a 20 year old was whether or not I was going to stay in school. I decided to drop out.

My injury was due to overuse of my hands, as I was drawing every day, five to seven hours a day. I spent a good while trying to recover both physically and mentally. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and trying to think about it sent me to very dark places. I was in physiotherapy for a year and it worked wonders for me.

In 2023 I tried going to school for film, but discovered while that IS an interest of mine, it’s not something I want to do long term. It was a lot of self reflection and self care- my family was more than amazing in their support of me trying to find my way in life.

Eventually I realized I wanted to do something to help. I wanted to take care of things- but I realized I didn’t want to take care of people.

I’ve always had a soft spot for animals, and the more I let myself indulge in this untapped interest, the more passionate I got about not only animal life; but also nature in general. I started getting out more, hiking, taking in the little details- and then I signed up for academic upgrading for chemistry, biology, and math so I could qualify for the vet tech program at the school I wanted to go to :)

I got a 96% in math 11 and an 81% in chem! And now I’m in bio and math 12 and I’m loving it a lot.

Now I only draw for me, I’m pain free, and rediscovering my love for science!

[esidolmail]

Wataru! Mika! Hello!!

I'm also an adopted kid, just like you. My parents gave me up for adoption due to some inconvenient circumstances surrounding my conception. I was put up for adoption before I was even born and taken home by my adoptive parents shortly after my actual birth. I have a somewhat complicated relationship with my adoptive parents; I know that they mean well, and they're trying the absolute best they can, but my upbringing was incredibly rough. Granted, they're much better people now than they were before, but the damage has already been done. Despite being taken in by people who were supposed to provide for me, I had to learn to fend for myself at a rather young age. It's because of that that I've barely even had a childhood. I felt envious of people who still had their birth parents in their life, even moreso parents who gave them unconditional love and support that they needed; ones who protected them when they needed it most. I wish I didn't have to be that for myself at such a young age. I wish that I didn't have to grow up so quickly, and that maybe I could've had someone who at the very least had my back, so I could relax a little bit. Now here I am, with years worth of trauma and a grocery list of disorders to top it all off.

But that's not the point, I'm sorry to traumadump on you guys. I guess my question is, how is your situation with your adoptive parents? Did you guys ever feel any sort of resentment or yearning regarding your birth families, like you lost something you might not have even had in the first place? Did you ever have to cope with your circumstances regarding yourselves and navigating the world as an adopted child? Do you ever (still) feel out of place compared to everybody else who still had any of those people in their lives, aka their birth family and blood relatives and whatnot? Did you ever feel upset regarding the circumstances behind the way you ended up now? Did you ever learn how to cope with such a deep-seated feeling of loneliness resulting from within?

I'm sorry for bringing about such a heavy subject, and in such a long letter, too. I guess I just can't help but feel envious, despite the fact that I have more than I could've even asked for. It could be worse, I could have never been adopted at all. I could be living on the streets, truly alone. But even with all that I have, I still just can't let myself warm up to anyone. I can't let myself open up to or put any trust in anyone. That's probably not even related to the adoption thing, but other, more complicated traumas that I don't need to tell other people about. There's a lot of things that even my closest friends don't know about me. They assure me that I'm safe, that it's okay and that I'm going to be okay, but I can't fully trust anyone yet, even after years of somehow being involved in their lives. And that leads me to now, writing to you guys.

Have you ever felt the need to talk about this to anyone in your life at any point at all? Who was that person for you? How long did you have to wait to find that person?

Thank you for reading through such a long piece of rambling to the end. I'm sorry if this weighs too heavy on either of you due to its subject matter at hand. Next time I write, I'll try and leave something more of a positive note, okay?

Please take care of yourselves, and I'll continue to try and live as freely as I can in order to continue supporting you all.

Yet again, thank you.

[jadebrightwind]

First stab at a Dark Tournament Team. I sketched these up at lightning speed since I've had hardly any time to draw the past ten days and wanted to at least put SOMETHING down. All of it is subject to changes since I haven't had a change to really cook these designs/concepts/characters yet and trying to do five at once while my dad was visiting, having to bury one of my guinea pigs (RIP little guy), still having to go to my day job, and trying to prep for FanExpo simultaneously has not done wonders for my creative juices and stress levels. I might just, draw some silly little things from prompts later if I have the energy. From back to front:

Daigo Akiyama - Elder bovine demon. Has a large stature and easily clocks in at over ten feet tall. Currently serves as a caretaker to the Temple of Concord and is one of the eldest members of the Sect. Has seen several demon wars, but doesn't talk in length about his past to the young ones. He would rather put those days behind him and live peacefully where possible. However, he will defend those who seek refuge in the Temple, and understands that sometimes one must fight and kill to protect others and preserve the peace. Daigo generally speaks and moves slowly, encouraging the younger members of the Temple sect to take initiative, leading by example rather than by lecture. His long life makes him knowledgeable about many matters, and he takes a keen interest in several subjects. Although he rarely fights, it is rumored that he is both physically and spiritually one of the strongest members of the Concord Sect. However, Daigo prefers to spend his days reading and tending the gardens with Osamu. The relationship between Daigo and Osamu has deepened through the years, and in order to ensure his human lover can live alongside him as long as possible, Daigo has been secretly funneling life force into him while he sleeps.

Osamu Fujimura - An older human who joined the Concord Sect as a young man and has lived his life training, learning, and fighting for The Temple. He is a tall, lanky man who has a wirey build and clocks in closer to seven feet tall. Initially a scholar by trade, he grew fascinated with demonology and botany. He places great importance on preserving as many species as possible for further study and for the pure joy of the variety of life. Osamu can sometimes grow enthusiastic to the point of getting a bit carried away, but those who are familiar with him know he means well and can bring him back to reality. He assists in raising and teaching the youth of the Temple, even going so far as to refer to them as his own children. The Concord Temple Sect frequently takes in injured and/or orphaned demons and humans of varying ages and origins that are willing to commit to the cause or require sanctuary, no small part in thanks to the urging of Osamu. In fact, their numbers have grown significantly in the last forty years due to Osamu's philosophies and insistence. His fighting capabilities rely on traditional martial arts as well as clever strategy, and as a result, he has bested many an opponent otherwise stronger than himself.

Hanako Shimizu - A water demon supposedly dropped off as an infant at the steps of the Concord Temple. She has long, pink hair that reaches her ankles, and stands about five and a half feet tall. She has no memory and little knowledge of her birth parents, in part by choice, but also in part due to the unwillingness of the Temple elders to speak in detail about the circumstances of her birth and arrival. Whether due to her upbringing or due to her demon nature, Hanako holds herself with temperate poise, behaving with a natural grace and decorum that many would struggle to perfect. However, she is not devoid of her own struggles. The knowledge of being abandoned by her birth parents hangs heavy over her, and the self-loathing that comes with falling short of perfection in one's mind informs many of her decisions. Hanako seeks to use her abilities for peaceful and healing purposes where possible, and laments the prospect of killing others. Osamu and Daigo, having raised her to value peace and harmony between humans and demons, now struggle to encourage her to explore her abilities without fear, and to instill in her the reality that pacifism is not always feasible when striving for unity or defending oneself and others.

Takeshi Igarashi - A young tiger demon raised in the confines of the Temple. He is younger than Hanako and Rie and stands about five and a half feet tall. Takeshi wants to grow as strong as the legendary Byakko, but wants to do so to protect his family and the Temple. He strives to become a hero, fighting for the cause of peace and harmony. Out of the three orphans, Takeshi has taken his circumstances with the most even stride. However, his naivety and inexperience, as well as his propensity for being a complete dork, sometimes get the better of him. He is the little brother of Hanako and Rie, and both are protective of him in their own respects. Like Byakko, he can manipulate his breath and energy into lightning, and the force of his power is often the factor that wins his fights.

Rie Fujimura - A weasel demon with a love of knives, she is sharp by many definitions of the word. She was also orphaned as a young demon, but was old enough to remember being taken in by the elders of the Temple and given a home amongst them. Despite standing only four feet tall, her snappy attitude can command a room with ease. Rie is honest to a fault and extremely protective of Hanako and Takeshi, living by the philosophy that only SHE is allowed to bully them. She is the eldest of the three. Rie perhaps resents how others underestimate her due to her appearance and wears her irritation and poor attitude on her sleeve when crossed. Osamu and Daigo often have to step into curb her fiery temper, but when all factors are considered, her deep loyalty to the Concord Sect prevent her from delving into carnage and bloodlust. Rie is quick to judge and quick to move, and opponents find it hard to catch up with her once she has procured the upper hand.

[heartlandians]

Filling Empty Spaces (Amy/Mitch), part 216

Mitch and Amy find an unexpected connection due to absent lovers. Set around season 11->.

A/N: I didn’t have a beta for this story, so hopefully there won’t be too many grammar errors.

* * * *

After the kiss, Amy and Mitch remained close to one another, their foreheads pressed together while they lingered on after the expression of their deep emotional connection with each other. It was in that moment that both of them realized just how close they had gotten this past year and how their previously unfit broken pieces were slowly mending together, as if the universe had planned this for them all along.

It seemed like they not only healed themselves through this attachment, but also naturally found ways to empower the other person as well as they had these difficult, but much needed conversations.

When the cool gust of air propelled across the porch and passed them, Amy leaned back ever-so-slightly to look into Mitch's eyes. Who would have thought that the person she could see herself going forward with - toward a brighter future - had been under her nose for years now without it ever really occurring to her, until recently.

"So... what about you? What's going on with you?" Mitch asked, letting his hand softly rub the crook of Amy's neck in a soothing manner as they continued the conversation, now focusing on her.

Amy let out a long sigh. Her shoulders dropped and her gaze began to wander.

"Well, Georgie knows about us. She saw us kissing when she was on a trail ride with Wyatt yesterday." Amy bit her lower lip a little, holding back the frustration. "She's the only one in my family that knows. I tried to talk to her about it, but she wasn't really in the mood for that..."

"Oh..." Mitch let out, taking it in. He didn't know how he felt about that yet, so almost as if to look for some guidance, his eyes turned back to Amy. "So... how do you feel about that?"

"Well, things are not going according to my plan", Amy summed up. "My plan was to tell Lou first, then rest of the family. I just feel like that would have been the best way to go about this, but now Georgie knows and the rest of the family suspects something is wrong, so... it feels like it's only a matter of time when they know too. And it's like--"

She stopped for a second to think about it.

It all felt so heavy now; her stomach dropped every time she thought about what was to come. She didn't feel like bursting this bubble of happiness, but it had to be done, sooner than later.

"I have been mentally preparing for them to know, but... now that it's so close, I get nervous thinking about the reactions", Amy continued after a beat. "I mean, Georgie's response didn't exactly leave me feeling confident that things will go over smoothly. I guess I always suspected it, but... now I have proof."

Mitch nodded, understanding that. He gave her temple a soft kiss, hoping to offer some comfort. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"It's fine. I think this is something I need to do on my own. But... I suspect I might need some support after the fact", Amy said, now looking at him, trying to read his expression.

"That I can do", Mitch assured, pressing their foreheads together again, as if to seal the deal. "I feel like I'm just coasting while you're doing all the heavy lifting..."

Amy shook her head.

"My family's not your responsibility. Besides, aren't you supposed to get comfortable with not being so helpful all the time? Why don't you use this as an opportunity to adapt."

Mitch sighed. "I know, but... it's hard. It makes me feel like a jerk."

"You're not; far from it. I don't think I could do this without you", Amy wanted him to know.

"You wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for me", Mitch pointed out what they both knew but were maybe too afraid to say. But they could no longer just dance around the subject, seeing as things were getting real. "The only reason this is a problem for your family is because I'm me and I have history with Lou."

"It's not the only reason", Amy jumped in to say. "I've come to realize how comfortable my family has become about me being... stuck with what I've been for years now. It's been so convenient to them. I don't think they're bad people for it, they're just... set in their ways; we all want to live comfortably."

She knew that better than anyone.

"But I can't remain what I am no longer only for their sake; I've outgrown that mold", Amy went on. "It was cast back when my mom died, and - sure - I've had some wiggle room, but not that much when I think about it. But I want to break free now. I want to see what else I can be. And you're big part of it."

Mitch nodded, understanding what Amy meant. His thumb caressed her cheek softly as he looked into her eyes, wanting her to hear what he had to say.

"It's not easy, but I'm so proud of you for following your heart, whether that includes me or not. You should be allowed to do what you want. Life is short."

Amy nodded. "Exactly."

"So..." Mitch said, slowly letting his hand fall on her shoulder, "how are you going to break the news to Lou?"

"Well, I was thinking of easing in with the announcement about Venus's situation", Amy shared. "Because we've barely talked these past months, and I just know it's going to be awkward already, so I just don't see myself blurting it out after asking how she's been. So, Venus and the foal is going to serve as a bumper."

"Sounds like a good idea."

"And then..." Amy sighed, slipping from Mitch's side and slowly getting up as the frustration was fighting its way out. "I don't know. I've thought about it so much, but nothing seems to be good enough. I don't think there's any way that I can break these news to her that won't make her react... weirdly", she damned, feeling so down about it already.

"Well, yeah. She's Lou. She's not the kind of person who is neutral about a lot of things. If any", Mitch knew.

It was one of the things he didn't miss about the relationship with the older Fleming sister; having to walk on eggshells and plan everything he was going to say, just so he wouldn't upset her by using a wrong word or strange tone - according to her.

Amy shook her hands as they were getting numb. "I just wish people could be happy for me instead of having their own personal feelings about it."

Mitch stood up and walked over to face her, leaning against one of the posts of the porch.

He gave Amy room to fidget as it seemed like she needed that.

"I know. But... that's the reality of dealing with people; we are not the only ones having feelings..." he stated.

"This is why I love horses more..." Amy scoffed, knowing she was probably somewhat pathetic when it came to difficult social situations like this, but she just didn't know how to navigate them. "Horses are easier to deal with."

"Oh, yeah? How did Spartan take it when you told him?" Mitch asked, teasing.

Amy's eyes went to him, taking in what he had just said. When she realized Mitch was making a joke, she punched him gently on the shoulder, making him nudge.

"Ow!" he laughed, fixing his stance so he wouldn't trip over.

Even though she tried to hide it, Mitch noticed her smirking.

"I'm serious", she said, but appreciated the brief lift in the mood.

"I know..." Mitch said, apologizing and looking at her with empathy. "You'll work it out - you always do. It doesn't have to be perfect. I don't think there's any way you could do it that would go over smoothly. There's always going to be bumps."

"Yeah..." Amy agreed, looking at the yard. "I wish I could just stay here, and we could just shut out the world. Not care what others think."

"Well, we could", Mitch offered as he wouldn't mind the company.

"I'm tempted but... right now, I need to be with Lyndy", Amy said, returning to reality.

Mitch nodded, understanding that.

"Well, if you ever need a place to go - or stay - I'm here. My door is always open for you two."

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

HAI FRIEND

i’ve literally been obsessed w ur megumi smau since like chp. 14 or something LOLL,, i have this thing where i just psychoanalyze characters and ive been thinking a lot about yn like hm…

(THIS MIGHT BE A LUTTLE LONG BTW SO FEEL FREE TO JUST LIKE IGNORE THIS BUT I RLLY WANT TO TALK ABT HER)

like yn (to a lot of people) may be like a little intolerable but honestly i think the reason we have such a reaction to her personality like that is bc we see a little bit of ourselves in her if that makes sense…

PERSONALLY, I AM A YN DEFENDER FOR LIKE THATS MY HOMEGIRL.. like imagine you grew up in a world where soulmates are the basis of your romantic future. the sheer fact that that in itself already builds a sense of you either love your soulmate or hate them in someones head (considering that most of the time,, soulmates are portrayed as; first time you meet, you just know)

yn,, having met megumi long before you brain could have developed a coherent understanding of relationships, and lacking in the sense that when she met megumi,, she didn’t feel sparks like they said she would, obviously, she would categorize those feelings as hate. THATS WHY WHEN MEGUMI SAID “i dont think you really ever hated me either” HIT SO HARD FOR ME I WAS LIKE OH MY GOD…

BASICALLY WHAT IM GETTING AT is the fact that there is so much pressure already due to the fact that soulmates are said to be your other halves, so if you don’t like them, theres immense pressure and insecurity (hence yn’s hostility to the subject of her hating megumi because she has no comprehended idea of why she actually hates him) plus the fact that they met when they were kids and that probably affected the way she saw relationships in the first place EXPLAINS WHY SHE IS SO ADMENT ON BEING INDIFFERENT TO HIMMM

ok… another thing (sorry)..

AS MUCH as i love yn’s friend group,,, THEY LOWKEY PISS ME OFF THE SAME WAY YN PISSES ME OFF HELP..

OK SO,, obviously i’d also get pissed off if my friends get hostile bc i bring something up to want to understand them better, BUT at the same time, i would also have some sympathy 😢😢

LIKE,, their immediate response is to press harder, and try to solve the problem and if youre looking at texts like that thru yn’s eyes, it will prob lowkey feel like your feelings are being invalidated. yn is already confused, probably insecure about her love life, and now having to literally throw up her heart into her hands just for her friends to understand why they feel that way,, like she’s not gnna want to do that no matter how close they are (but maybe thats js me idk…) and then their immediate response to her not wanting to show that side of her is to get pissed off like i’d be mad and sad like yn too :(

i think those are all the points i was thinking sbt but if not im not gnna try to rmbr the rest bc this is alr super long.. BUT I HOPE U ENJOYED MY RANT AND I LOVE UR SMAU AND I LOVE U MUAH I HOPE U HAVE A GREAT DAY

I LOVE U I LOVE U I LOVE U

i absolutely ADOREEEE when people psychoanalyze the characters (mostly only when the analysis is correct tho LMFAOAO autism.) BECAUSE I DO THE SAME THINGGG i kinda have to when i’m doing plot heavy smaus like this to make sure everything fits n there’s the least amount of plot holes possible blah blah blah insert my annoying rambling on how i write

ANYWAY i loved ur analysis u r so amazing n so right ! like i get yn is annoying but lord have mercy so is everyone else that’s the POINTTTTT NO ONE HERE IS ACTUALLY IN THE WRONG OR BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE. EVERYONE HAS THEIR REASONING FOR WHAT THEY DO OR DONT DO!!! ugh sorry okay i’m gonna shut up now i could talk about this forever i fear .

I LOVE UUUU HAVE A GREAT DAYYYY