#men have called her crazy

[randombookquotes]

men have called her crazy- anna marie tendler

[cherryrehab]

i think the real feminist issue about anna marie tendler's memoir is can the general public let a woman be a mediocre navel gazing artiste the same way they do men. the answer was no btw.

[youreonyourownkid]

need this book like i need water

[dk-thrive]

My brain never stops..I have an internal monologue that is running all the time. I constantly weigh and analyze everything I do and say... I feel it in my body. I feel dizzy a lot, or my brain feels foggy and out of it. Sometimes I feel like my whole body is tingling.

— Anna Marie Tendler, Men Have Called Her Crazy: A Memoir (Simon & Schuster, August 13, 2024)

[whosbuxkt]

Ugh. A 5 star read.

This book. I had the privilege of reading it in May, a time that couldn’t have been more fitting given everything happening in my life. The beauty of this book is undeniable—beautifully written with scenes that captivate, even when they’re far from comforting or joyful. It introduces characters and thoughts that linger long after the final page. I can confidently say this book ranks among the top five I relate to most deeply.

Anna Marie Tendler masterfully captures her experiences from childhood to adulthood, particularly her relationships with men and how these shaped her mental and emotional landscape. Her portrayal of the anger many women feel towards men—their dismissiveness, their privilege—struck a chord with me. I often find myself echoing the sentiments expressed in the book, and it’s comforting to know I’m not alone in my frustration and confusion over how to navigate these feelings.

This book covers it all—toxic teenage relationships, the struggles of mental health, the bewilderment of early adulthood (that feeling lost in your 20s feeling), grief, loss, and the journey of moving forward. It has stayed with me since I read it, offering both insight and comfort in my own life. I highly, highly recommend it. 🤍

[idontevenlistentomitski]

I’ve seen some bad reviews of mchc.

(How can you even criticise a memoir?)

I saw people getting mad because she’s not perfect, or she hasn’t worked out everything she feels like okay??? Have you???

I saw people say her life was uninteresting. That she’s only passionate in things for a short time and she attaches herself to men to fund these passions.

I thought she made very clear in the book that she recognises this tendency in herself and does not like it??

Furthermore, look inside your chest and ask yourself what am I mad about? Was I expecting something different? And why so?

I’ll tell you why, cause she was your perfect victim!

Man says he loves woman, man cheats and leaves woman, woman makes amazing art (rooms in the first house) about it. You can empathise with her, you can make her into whatever you want UNTIL SHE TELLS HER STORY.

Stop expecting the narrative fed to you by her ex husband to be truthful! If anyone knows herself it’s her, not you or me for watching 3 hours of him talking about her on stage.

This is the woman she is, she has issues like all of us some resolved some not. Is that a crime? I don’t think so.

Also I personally LOVED how her ex husband was never mentioned by name thus shifting the power from him to her AND if you actually payed any attention you’d realise he’s pretty much everywhere in some chapters even though she doesn’t make that explicit.

This is, frankly, annoying.

[plxviophile]

does anna marie tendler know that those of us recovering from EDs tend to not share our height and weight?

[the-final-sentence]

I do.

Anna Marie Tendler, from Men Have Called Her Crazy

[judgingbooksbycovers]

Men Have Called Her Crazy: A Memoir

By Anna Marie Tendler.

[ryukisgod]

[bookquotesfrombooks]

“The power wealth engenders is not always overt, it can be wrapped in a facade of generosity. That generosity can even be genuine and well-meaning. Having money (power) means you get to make a lot of the decisions that other people with less money (less power) simply have to go along with, even if they don’t want to.”

Anna Marie Tendler

Men Have Called Her Crazy

[showmethesneer]

I finished reading Men Have Called Her Crazy and I genuinely inhaled it in 2 days. I'm not sure why I've been seeing so much hate for it. It was so honest and insightful. Also, it literally lives up to the name, as she describes instances where individual men on a personal level AND systemic structures supported by the patriarchy have labeled her "crazy" for simply being a woman with a different opinion or having general anxiety disorder or something. Like.. what's the problem here? You wanted all the gory details of her failed marriage? I'm glad she omitted them. She is so much more than her relationship with her ex-husband.

[dk-thrive]

We had bad fights sometimes, yet I never once felt any disrespect or lack of awareness for my emotions, or inclination that he did not deeply care for me. He was the sort of man who was on a constant journey toward betterment. He questioned himself and his thoughts and his behaviors. He always strived to be the best version of himself for the people he loved. In the years since then, I have realized these are very rare qualities for men.

— Anna Marie Tendler, Men Have Called Her Crazy: A Memoir (Simon & Schuster, August 13, 2024) I

[mistandshcdow]

‘Men Have Called Her Crazy’ by Anna Marie Tendler — a Review

CW: this book discusses suicide, SH, EDs, mental health institutions and other triggering topics in detail, and they are touched on in this review.

Going into this memoir, I was expecting an intimate look at Tendler’s mental health crisis, her complicated relationship with various men in her life, and some insight as to how she dealt with being betrayed by her famous husband. You’ll get one of those things from this, and it’s not the one you want.

By intimate, imagine you’re sitting in on Anna’s three hour psych examination where she is narrating every detail and breaking down what it means in real time. That happens in the book. She also describes every inpatient class she goes to, every random man in the hospital who dares to glance at her, and every relationship she’s ever had going back to high school. Oh yeah, except her husband of six years, who makes not a single appearance outside of nameless references to “my husband.” He is never named, nor is their relationship even touched on.

She touches on other relationships though, and although they’re undoubtedly shitty, none of them call her crazy. Her mental health condition is addressed by only one boyfriend, the singular one she notes as being caring and dedicated. It comes to a point where she has to literally imagine a man calling her crazy, a man she has met all of once over ZOOM THERAPY and immediately hates for little reason. In fact, the only people in Tendler’s life who do insinuate she might be crazy are WOMEN, a fact she seems unable to unpack or dwell on, and why should she when she can say “Fuck men” and sell her book as a gripping feminist narrative. That’s not what feminism is, Anna.

The one man who deserves the biggest “Fuck you” is not present. Tendler has the right to write about whatever she wants and that includes leaving out Mulaney, but if you’re going to push the book as a tell-all memoir that is almost entirely centered around men shortly after your very public divorce, leaving him out totally feels unnatural and disingenuous. If it’s legal issues that keep her from mentioning him, then maybe she shouldn’t write the damn memoir.

Tendler is frankly unbearable to be inside the head of. She’s privileged (although she repeatedly stresses her financial hardship), judgmental, pretentious and somehow painfully uninteresting all at once. The real problem with this book is that it is boring, and the reason she feels the need to go into excessive detail about everything from her tiny wrists to a step by step guide on how to inject IVF hormones is because there is not enough content to fill a whole book without discussing Mulaney, which she can’t/won’t do. In the final third, readers are spoiled with pages upon pages of her talking about her designer dog, which I’m sorry, is not particularly compelling in a book that’s marketed as an exposé.

If your conclusion near the end of the book is “men are the cause of all my problems” then I don’t think you can really call the book memoir considering we can tell no self reflection was done—ma’am, you are severely mentally ill. That isn’t your fault, but it’s not your male barista’s fault either; it just sucks. By the end of the book, Tendler has learned nothing, digested nothing, and reflects on nothing, which is evident from the way she writes about herself. She is clearly still not in a good place and that is totally fine, but it doesn’t make for an honest memoir. The book ends by her going through her psych report in again, painful detail, complete with her calling every comment she disagrees with misogynistic for failing to accurately describe her experience. I think Tendler thinks that anything she doesn’t like or 100% resonate with is misogyny, which is uh, an interesting take from a rich white woman.

Women are allowed to be mediocre. Women should be allowed to be annoying and pretentious and self indulgent. Tendler is allowed to be these things. Doesn’t make this book any better.

If you loved this book, you’re probably a cis white woman. I can’t prove this, but I’m pretty sure I’m right.

2 stars.

[idontevenlistentomitski]

Truthfully, I first met anna Marie tendler through her ex husband’s comedy.

I’ve been on her side during the divorce and lost all my admiration and respect for said comedian. I’ve been waiting for her autobiography restlessly since it was announced and now that I’m halfway through it I can’t stop thinking about how much he used and distorted the character of a struggling woman to make the world laugh.

I’m reading about what she was experiencing, with sh and depression, and the years coincide with the times he was making me laugh about her on tv and thinking wow, they are so happy! I want a love like this!

Or finding out how her Jewishness, which I thought was a huge part of her character from his comedy, is only cultural and religion is not something she’s particularly interested in?

I’m angry at men, as I often am, I’m angry at this particular man most of all.

I’m angry she didn’t get what she deserved from him, I’m angry he used her to make us laugh and I’m angry I did laugh.

I had a completely different expectation of who she was as a person, what her passions were, what she was doing with her life and that was because I was fed a men’a narrative of what her life was.

I’m glad she’s dismantling that narrative, I’m glad she got her voice back, I’m glad she’s herself.

[ninasbookshelf]

september 2024 reading wrap-up

hi all! i finished four books this month:

Men Have Called Her Crazy by Anna Marie Tendler

Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin

A Conspiracy of Kings by Megan Whalen Turner (re-read)

Heaven Official’s Blessing Vol. 6 by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu

i’m thinking of doing a review post for Anna Marie Tendler’s book, so keep an eye out for that if you’re interested. i’ll try to remember to tag it properly so people can find it!