#and I don’t want to force her to be monogamous if she’s not

[punk-raphaelite]

She wants to try poly and I don’t want to hold her back from that but that’s just not something I want so I have to end it with her

I really saw spending the rest of my life with this girl

[daybrightsims]

Alright, they've lived in my brain too long; Time to air out my thoughts about the polyamory in BG3

To give a little context: I am currently ethically non-monogamous with my primary partner of almost 7 years. I am not a monolith of thought when it comes to polyamory/ENM/open relationships. These are my own personal thoughts and feelings. I've also completed the game with Astarion and Halsin romanced. Spoilers ahead, read at your own risk.

TL;DR - I don't share the current opinion of whether or not Astarion is okay with Tav pursuing Halsin and the discourse around his agency and choices in the relationship are bumming me out and frustrating me.

I am getting increasingly frustrated about the conversation about Astarion being polyamorous/okay with Tav being with Halsin in the game, primarily because I think a lot of the "think pieces" are coming from 1) monogamous people who have only ever been monogamous, 2) monogamous people who have been burned/cheated on/forced into polyamory by a partner (I feel for ya'll, that wasn't okay), 3) people who are very VERY protective of Astarion, and 4) people who are blatantly uncomfortable with polyamory. My goal is not to invalidate anyone's experiences, but to share an alternate perspective.

I do think that Astarion is not only okay, but happy with Tav dating Halsin. I glean this from how he responds to being poly with ANY OTHER companion. If you ask him to share with literally anyone else, he will say no and give his reason.

Gale: He doesn’t want to be in a love triangle (which with Gale, it would be).

Lae’zel: He’s uncomfortable and Lae’zel would kill him (also true).

Wyll: He knows Wyll is old fashioned and monogamous.

Karlach: He knows Karlach’s feelings for you are strong and he doesn’t want to stand in the way of that (he even says he’d be cool with an arrangement but knows Karlach will need all of your affection based on what she’s been through).

Shadowheart: He would be cool IF Shadowheart had more experience and ya’ll were together longer. But he knows Shadowheart is fragile in her current state.

Minthara: He REALLY doesn’t like this idea and will dump you immediately.

I did also see that ***SPOILER*** they updated or are updating some of the spawn Astarion language to have issues with your affair with Mizora should you pursue it, and it requires a persuasion/deception role to keep you two together.

Up to this point in your relationship with Astarion, he has become more comfortable voicing his opinions and concerns with you. He is learning to value his autonomy and his non-physical relationships. He will tell you when he doesn’t want to do something. In fact, he’ll break up with you over pushing his boundaries. He is fine with you pursuing the Drow twins and fine with you sleeping with Haarlep, even comforts you when Haarlep uses your form. So when he says he is okay with you pursuing Halsin, he means it. Yes, he voices his insecurity with you that you may be pursuing Halsin because you and he haven’t had sex in a while. But he acknowledges that Halsin has experience in this arrangement and doesn’t pose a threat to your relationship. Plus, if you kiss Halsin in front of him, he’ll say “don’t mind me, I’m just enjoying the show.”

To me, the idea that this is the ONE thing that Astarion doesn't have agency over in an arc of showing he can speak up for himself is you sleeping with Halsin is an idea that takes more agency from Astarion. He is a grown man. A 240 YEAR OLD man. That trauma he's endured does not mean he needs to be babied or coddled because he can't make his own choices. I think that's an unfair assumption to put on him that Halsin and Tav being together is the ONLY thing he can't enforce his boundaries on.

If he didn't want you to be with Halsin, he would say no like every other monogamous character in the game.

If you want a good example of someone saying yes just because they want to keep you, look at Karlach. You can tell she is HEARTBROKEN when you ask her, but she says “I don’t want to lose you”. That is not an enthusiastic participant in a polyamorous relationship. Astarion says “yeah, go for it! Just give me some reassurance”. Polyamory is not immune to insecurity. I've asked for reassurance in my own relationships and so has my primary partner. That’s not unenthusiastic. That’s realistic as shit. If you ask him about the relationship after you finish his questline, he doesn’t need reassurance because you’re having sex again. That’s also super realistic.

Am I sensitive to this as someone who practices ENM? Almost certainly. It's hard to see a lifestyle I live be villainized and claimed to be "forced" onto characters. I was actually really excited that I could pursue both Astarion and Halsin, and that Halsin places so much importance on consent and not misleading your partner. And it sucks SOO much to see one of my favorite characters be reduced to "oh, he's only doing it because he's afraid to lose Tav." It makes me almost feel bad for liking the interactions between them and enjoying to option. Do I think people mean to make me or other poly people feel bad? No.

But it does.

Headcanons are headcanons. I get it. People are absolutely allowed to interpret the poly aspect of BG3 how they want to. People are allowed to feel uncomfy with how it's portrayed and not pursue it. But it still bums a queer ENM Astarion and Halsin lover out.

Now excuse me whilst I live out my Astarion x Halsin x Tav polycule fantasies in the form of fanfiction.

[apoloadonisandnarcissus]

Could Saurondriel actually happen in Tolkien lore? 

@historical-romances9 asked me to elaborate on how and if Sauron x Galadriel could/would work, according to Tolkien lore, or if it’s was even possible to actually happen because many “lorebros” are always whining about the impossibility of it because Galadriel is an Elf, and they “mate for life”, and Sauron is an evil spirit obsessed with power, and uncapable of “human like” feelings, and that “Rings of Power” is an abomination to the Professor’s lore for giving these two characters romantic and sexual undertones.

Tolkien’s writings about wedding, love and sex among the Eldar (Elves) can be found in “Morgoth’s Ring, Part III. The Later Quenta Silmarillion: (II) The Second Phase: Laws and Customs among the Eldar.”  

Argument #1: “Galadriel can’t have romantic feelings for Sauron because she’s already married to Celeborn, and Elves are monogamous and mate for life!”  

Is this true? 

We know that Galadriel is already married to Celeborn (whom she believes to be dead) when she meets Sauron/Halbrand. We also know Elves marry for life (either by love of free will from both parties; an Elf can’t be forced to marry), and divorce is forbidden, especially among the Noldor. This is what Tolkien actually wrote; there is no mention of Elves being emotional monogamous (= only loving one being for the rest of their lives). 

Actually, we have textual evidence on the contrary, with Elf characters, actually, falling in love more than once in their lifetimes and even re-marrying. The Elves don’t divorce due to their history, and not because they only love one being their entire lives; and the majority of the Noldor’s problems are blamed on F��anor’s parents' divorce. In short: Fëanor’s mother, tired of giving birth, went to the Hall of Mandos to sleep. Afterwards, Fëanor’s father asked the Valar for permission to remarry (even, though, his wife wasn’t dead). The Gods said yes, and Fëanor’s half-siblings were born, and Morgoth used Fëanor’s jealousy to drive a wedge in the family, which eventually led to disaster. And this is why the Noldor don’t divorce. 

According to Tolkien lore, it’s completely possible for Galadriel to have romantic feelings for Sauron, despite already being married to Celeborn. 

But now, one can argue that the Valar would never give their permission for Galadriel and Sauron to be married. Here’s the catch: Sauron is a fallen Maia and a servant of Melkor/Morgoth. He’s not one of faithful (he doesn’t obey Eru nor the Valar); he wouldn’t ask for their permission to do anything. Many wrongly compare Sauron to the Christian Satan, but the actual “Devil” in Tolkien’s lore is Morgoth (he’s the one who rebels against Eru, “God”, and wants to corrupt creation).  When Sauron proposed to make Galadriel his Queen, he really meant it as the "whole package deal", because his master is in the Void forever, and he doesn’t gives two f*cks about the Valar giving permission or not. Which leads me to the next point.

Argument #2: Galadriel wouldn’t ever cheat on Celeborn because adultery is unthinkable for the Elves! 

True. However, we've already established that “emotional cheating” can happen, according to the lore, and I would argue that counts as adultery as well. But, again, we are talking about a fallen Maia and a servant of Morgoth, here: Sauron doesn’t follow the Valar’s rules. And, so, Sauron sexually seducing Galadriel isn’t OOC for him, actually.

And what about Galadriel falling for his seductions? We know Galadriel is proudful and strong-willed, but she’s not immune to temptation herself. Sex, for the Elves, equals marriage, and it’s actually a requirement to officiate the union (you, kind of, like medieval traditions). And since Sauron doesn’t need anyone’s permission to marry Galadriel, this is possible to happen if she was to actually join him and be his Queen.

And if Galadriel and Sauron would to have sex (or any kind of sexual/romantic act) it has to be 100% consensual on her part (and that’s what drives the “lorebros” mad) because if Elves are SA they die (Tolkien actually wrote this).

Argument #3: “Sauron is not capable of love! He’s a Maia! He’s an evil spirit obsessed with power, and uncapable of human-like emotions!” 

Maiar were immortal spirts, yes, but they were capable of falling in love, because Melian (a Maia) fell in love with an Elf (Thingol) in Tolkien canon, and these two characters happen to be Elrond’s ancestors. This means that Mairon, the Maia of Aulë, was, indeed, capable of love.

However, Mairon was corrupted by Melkor/Morgoth, meaning his capacity to love was also corrupted. And instead of the “good” and “fluffy” side of love, Sauron is in the “dark side” of it, and his love is possessive, obsessive, jealous, and manifests in unsatisfiable lust, emotional turmoil and suffering.  

I've already talked about this before, but, in “Rings of Power”, Sauron fell in love with Galadriel while he was on his somewhat “repentant era”, and it started out as something purer, but it’s twisting into something darker as he goes deeper and deeper into evil, until it turns into hatred, later on. 

Argument #4: “Sauron can’t have sex! He doesn't care about sex! He’s a Maia!” 

Actually, Tolkien himself wrote about this, in his essay "Ósanwë-kenta”, where he brainstorms about Maiar reproduction. According to the lore, Maiar can, indeed, have sex and reproduce if they are in humanoid form (Elf, human, etc.). Tolkien discourses about Melian (Maia) and Tringol (an Elf): they had sex and a child (Lúthien), and this Half-Maia lady was also able to have sex with Beren (a human), and have children on her own (Elrond and Arwen are descendant from Lúthien and Beren). But there’s a catch: Melian created a she-elf body to be with Thingol, and she became bound to her Elf form because of this. She lost the ability to return to her spirit form, unless her physical body was killed to set her free (which was what eventually happened).

Tolkien also wrote about the corrupted Maiar by Morgoth (Sauron, Balrogs, etc.) and whenever they could take on Orc form in order to reproduce with other Orcs, in his essay “Orcs”. Here, it’s pretty much the same: they can, but if they were to actually do it, they would also be bound to their current physical form, and unable to return to their spirit/demonic form, unless they would be killed to be set free. But there’s another catch: they would be “damned”, too, and “reduced to impotence” after.  

This means that Sauron can indeed have sex with Galadriel (and impregnate her), but he would be bound to whatever current humanoid form he had at the time (Halbrand or Annatar), and, if he was to have such physical form destroyed, he would be damned afterwards (well, Eru did took away his ability to have a body after the fall of Númenor, so it, unintentionally, checks out?). 

The answer is yes: Saurondriel can work in Tolkien’s lore, under the right circumstances: 

Doomship: they love each other but can’t never be together (never act on their feelings);

Dark!Queen Galadriel: she joins Sauron and it’s pretty much the "whole package deal", with lots of obsessive love and hardcore sex.

Galadriel has a moment of weakness and has sex with Sauron; he becomes bound to Annatar form, which only gets destroyed in the fall of Númenor, but he's now "damned" and "reduced to impotence" and that's why he loses the ability to take on a full body? (Ironic how this actually fits the canon).

[afro-hispwriter]

Satoru Gojo x reader x Kento Nanami

Warnings- established polyamorous relationships, slight angst, this has quite a bit of nanago so if you don’t like it… scroll, the fushiguros make an appearance, homophobia mentions, insecurities(if I missed anything please let me know), set early 2014

A/n- I have a wild imagination and I absolutely hate what I wrote. Fuck Gege.

wc-2.5k+

-

Nanami never wanted to be home more than now. Another day full of his obnoxious boss and equally obnoxious coworkers. 

Nanami turned the key and pressed the button to the penthouse floor. He leaned against the back of the elevator. The dinging of the ascending numbers and the gentle music calmed him down. The doors opened and his ears were instantly hit with the sound of laughter. 

“Satoru, pay attention you’re making a mess!” You squealed, followed by Gojo’s laugh. 

“Just open your mouth a bit wider. I know you can ba- NANAMIN!” Gojo yelled out and more rice flung everywhere. The long-legged man zoomed around the island and almost knocked the blonde down with the force of the kiss to the man's lips. You spun around the stool before stepping down. 

“Hey, Ken.” You reached up on your toes and pecked the businessman's lips when Gojo pulled away. Your hands went to his tie and you undid it. “Work okay?” 

“As good as it always is.” He says with slight sarcasm and turns his head so Gojo can peck him on the lips and Gojo walks back to the stove. “You’re cooking?” He looks down at you as if silently asking if it is serious.

“Yup! We’re having fried rice with edamame and teriyaki tofu!” Gojo says proudly. 

“He insisted. Don't worry, I have been watching him the whole time.” You pat Nanami’s shoulder and he sighs. “Go change.” Nanami bowed his head before walking off to your shared room. 

Megumi's door was slightly open and Nanami gave it a small knock. 

“Yes?” He pushed the door open. 

“I just wanted to ask how your day was.” 

Now while Nanami has no desire to act like a parent to either Fushiguro sibling. He still lives with them so he does try to build some sort of bond with the kids. 

“Fine.” 

“Good.” Nanami turns to leave when Megumi speaks again.

“Has that idiot burned the kitchen yet?” Nanami fought a chuckle and shook his head.

“Surprisingly not. Yet.” His mouth curved up slightly and turned back to his TV. 

Nanami walked down the hall even more and Tsumiki walked out of the bathroom. They bumped into each other and Tsumiki looked up. 

“Oh sorry Nanami but hi!” Tsumiki says and wraps her thin arms around the man's waist. Nanami rubbed her back softly and softened his face. 

“It’s alright Tsumiki.” She stepped back. 

“I painted today in art! Do you want to see?” 

“That's good, show it to me at dinner.” Her brown eyes twinkled and she nodded happily. 

“Okay!” She ran off to the dining room.

Nanami walked into the large room and started shredding the clothes of the day. He hung up his blazer and placed his tie gently in the drawer with his others. His shoes were placed on his rack in between yours and Gojo’s. His shirts and pants were thrown in the large hamper. 

He put his at-home casual attire on as well as a pair of socks. Nanami’s phone rang on the side table and he peered over to see his boss calling. He closed his eyes and sighed before picking it up and accepting it. 

“Hey Hey Hey Nanami!”

“What do you want?” He says bluntly. 

“No need for the attitude man just calling to tell you we are having an office party Friday!”

“So tomorrow?” He pinches the bridge of his nose. 

“Yep! And it’s mandatory but you can bring as many people as you like. I know you have a woman.”

And a man

He could have told his boss about his true relationship(you stopped by his job to drop something off and when you left Nanami got pestered about you). But his boss has expressed his dislike for many relationships that weren’t heterosexual or monogamous. The three of you already face so much due to the higher-ups not agreeing with the relationship, and you and Gojo having issues with them beforehand doesn’t help. 

It wasn’t that he was ashamed of his relationship but he preferred to keep it private. He tells people he's single if it's a stranger or he will say he is in a relationship and say no more.

While Gojo tells anybody with no care and you only tell someone if the conversation calls for it. You’ve even dropped a few people if they express their dislike, if possible.

But he just wants to keep you and Gojo safe from the shitty world. 

“Mandatory?” 

“Mandatory.” 

Nanami sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time this week.

“I’ll see what happens.” He instantly hung up on his boss threw his phone on the table again and walked out of the room to go back to the dining room to wait for dinner. 

-

Tsumiki saw him first and she jumped down from the tall stool and ran to the fridge where a painting hung. 

“Look Nanami!” She held the dried paper up to him and took it immediately. It was a good painting since Tsumiki always had an artistic side. 

“Very good. Your blending is spot on.” He handed her the paper back and she smiled again at his approval. You grabbed Nanami's bicep and pulled him in.

“You’re such a softy.” You kissed his chin softly. “Such a good dad.” You teased and he rolled his eyes. 

“I'm not their fa-.”

“Just a mentor blah blah blah.” You cut him off and kissed his chin. His dark circles were even more prominent today. “Almost Friday.” He sighed and closed his eyes. 

“Almost Friday.” 

“You guys are making me jealous.” Gojo pouts as he starts his plating. 

“Well hurry up, then we can all cuddle.” 

“Blegh.” Tsumiki grimaced and you let out a giggle.

“When you grow up you’ll want to do the same thing with your significant other Miki’.” She put a weird look on and shook her head.

“If growing up means kissing and hugging boys. I don’t want to.” The 13 year old says and the two men in the room nod in agreement. 

“Yeah, that’s my girl.”

“That is a smart choice.” 

You roll your eyes and Gojo then drops the spoon he was using.

“Tada!” He shook his hands in the air and looked down at the plates. 

“It looks really good!” Tsumiki says and leans over the counter to look closer.

“It may look appetizing but it may very well not taste like it,” Nanami says and you swatted his chest. 

“Be nice. I'm sure it will taste great Toru.” 

“At least ‘Some’ people are appreciative.” He says and stares down at Nanami making the blonde sigh deeply. 

“Megumi!” You yell so he can come join you for dinner. There was no response or any noise. “Megumi Fushiguro!” Still nothing. You sighed and started to unravel from Nanami but Gojo intervened.

“Sit down beautiful, Daddy Satoru’s got this.”

“Please stop calling yourself ‘Daddy’, it's never going to happen,” Nanami says and Gojo frowns and glares at the man. He had that look on his face that he was saying something to himself. A quick tap into his mind from you and you gasped. 

“Satoru Gojo!” He cackled a laugh and walked away. 

“What did he say now?” Nanami asks unamused. 

‘He said, I can make you call me daddy’ 

Nanami’s eyes widened in shock and he scowled. 

“Can I know?” Tsumiki asks.

“No.”

“No honey.” 

-

If someone had told Nanami he would be dating Satoru Gojo and Y/n L/n two years after graduating jujitsu tech and helping guide(parent)two kids the sorcerers “adopted”. He would laugh in their face. But as he looked at all the faces around the table he wouldn’t trade it for anything. This has been the happiest he had been since Yu. 

“So how is it?” Gojo asks as he watches everyone eat. 

“It's pretty good.” You say. 

“Is there any left? I want to take some tomorrow.” Tsumiki asks and Gojo nods happily. 

“It is sufficient,” Nanami says contently.

“Aw, thanks Nanamin. What about you Gumi’?” Everyone turned to the boy at the end of the table. He looked around and shrugged.

“Fine.” He mumbled and took another bite. 

“You know what, I'll take it.” Gojo shrugs, making everyone(besides Megumi)chuckle. 

-

Megumi and Tsumiki started their homework in their rooms and Nanami started the dishes. 

“Hey, handsome.” You circle your arms around his waist and reach up on your toes to dig your chin into his shoulder. “So me and Toru were thinking-.”

“Uh oh.” 

“Oh stop it. How about we send the Fushiguros with Shoko tomorrow so we can just have the night to ourselves? Then we can be as loud as we want.” You whispered the last part and nibbled his ear lobe making him tense. 

“Tempting but about tomorrow.” He turns the faucet off and turns around. “My idiot boss called me and told me there was a mandatory party tomorrow.”

“Oh? That's fine too, I know you won't be there long so we can wait for you.” Nanami took a deep sigh and closed your eyes. 

Is this me betraying our relationship?

“I can bring-.”

“Great, I've never actually been to your job Nanamin.” Satoru’s voice comes through. “I just got a new Prada shirt I can show off.” 

“Gojo.” Nanami's heart started racing and he clenched his fists. Gojo placed his hands on your hips and pulled you back into him. 

“You can wear that pretty skirt with those platform red bottoms.” 

“I wouldn’t be going to the club, baby.” You chuckled. 

“I think Y/n should be the only one to go,” Nanami says, and you and Gojo pause. 

“Huh? Why not both of us?” You asked confused but before Nanami could say something, Gojo spoke first. 

“Because they don’t know about me, they know about you two.” His shoulder slumped and you frowned. 

“Is that true Kento?” The blonde couldn’t help but nod, making Gojo scoff. 

“I know you’re a private guy Nanami, but we’ve been together for almost 2 years. How are you still ashamed of us? Of me?” 

“What Satoru- I'm not ashamed I just-.”

“Just what?” Satoru raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms, blue eyes piercing into him. 

“Okay, can we just go sit on the couch and talk?” You suggest but Satoru shakes his head. 

“No, we can talk right here. Explain Nanami, why don’t you still want people to know about us even after all this time.” He got closer and closer to the blonde and you stepped in.

“Satoru, it's alright to keep it private.”

“Easy for you to say, his job knows about you. Nobody would look twice with you two if you walked on the street. Our boyfriend is too ashamed to be seen with me, with both of us if it doesn’t look like we’re just some friends out.” His voice was starting to break. 

“Satoru. I'm sorry I just- I just want to keep both of you safe.” 

“Safe?” Satoru asks and wipes his eyes with the back of his hand. 

“Kento, me and Satoru can protect ourselves just fine.”

“That’s not what I mean. I know you can protect yourself, but that’s physical. I refuse to subject you to the harmful judgment there would be.” 

You and Satoru stayed quiet and then shared a look. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” You ask and he sighs. 

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while now and I was just scared. You two and the kids are the best things in my life, and I don’t want to lose any of you because of others.” There was a pregnant pause.

“Fuck.” Satoru says and rubs his face. “I admit I shouldn’t have jumped at you, guess I've been holding down my feelings. I'm sorry Nanamin.” 

“No, I should have talked to both of you earlier, treated the two of you out somewhere, and told people we are a couple with no fear.” Gojo took a long stride over to Nanami and kissed the blonde's nose.

“Aww see, communication works.” You smiled brightly and Nanami splayed a hand behind your back and pulled you into his side. 

“You are always right.” He pecked the side of your head. 

“I know.” 

“And you guys say I have an ego.” 

“You do my love, but we love you for it.” You reached up on your toes and kissed him on the edge of his mouth. Nanami sighed and raised his hand to rest on the back of Gojo’s neck. 

“I love you.” The blonde molded their lips together and Gojo’s eyes fluttered shut. 

This is what his love is and he hopes it isn’t a dream. 

-

Now a really bad attempt at Juju Stroll🤩

“What about this one? 7 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, and a pool?” You ask.

It was a holiday in Japan. All schools were closed, Nanami’s job closed, and neither you nor Satoru had been called for any missions. 

The three of you were lounging on the couch. You and Nanami are on your laptops searching for a house. While Satoru has taken the liberty of laying across both of you. His knees and below were hanging off the edge so his thighs were on your lap and acting as the laptop stand. All while part of his upper body was on Nanami's thighs so most of his was Nanami’s laptop stand.

He didn’t care what house you two chose, just as long as it was far enough from Gojo Estate. He was simply the guy with the money to get said housing at the moment. He just had one request. 

“Does it have a fence?” 

“Uh.” You looked at the screen. “No, it doesn’t.” 

“Then no.” Satoru closed his eyes. 

“Okay, that's the fourth house you’ve rejected for not having a fence. Tell me why it needs one?” Satoru opened one eye to look at you. 

“For a dog.” You frowned and cocked your head to the side. 

“We have two.” 

“Not everyone can see them!” Satoru exclaims and shoots his hands in the air, knocking Nanami’s laptop stumble. 

“This one has 7 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, an indoor pool, and is close to both schools and my job.” Nanami chose to ignore Satoru's no fence complaints and moved on. 

“But there’s no-.” Satoru started but Nanami shushed him.

The blonde stared at his coffee mug on the table and moved his laptop to the side. He then leaned forward. Giving Satoru a face full of buff titty. But what he did next was just the pure urge of- 

CHOMP

Nanami’s eyes almost burst out of his head as the pain rushed through his left breast. 

“Gah! Gojo!” He spit his coffee out and reeled back making Satoru release him with a smirk. 

“What happened?” You ask looking at your lovers. 

“H-He bit me.” Nanami clutched his chest.

“Oh.” You had to stifle a giggle.

“Sorry Nanamin, they were just there.” Satoru reaches out to grab his boyfriend's chest but gets them slapped away. 

“You’re sleeping on the couch.

“HUH!? It was just a bite, you love it when I bite you!”

[beta-therapy]

You are not Entitled to Sex

Society has made massive strides in allowing women to be sexually free, the most important of which being the development of effective technology for contraception and female reproductive health, as well as the large-scale social destigmatization of public displays of female sexuality. Although this societal transformation is only just getting started, we are now at a point where women in Western countries can dress how they want in public without getting judged (for the most part; misogyny still exists but more and more people are taking a stand against it). We are at a point where women can have sex without having to worry about getting pregnant. As such, the downsides of sexual promiscuity have been eliminated, and women are no longer required to constrain themselves to a monogamous relationship in order to have sex. They are free to have sex with whoever they want without being forced to settle for a man who will actually dedicate himself to a long-term relationship.

And we are all familiar with the main result of this sexual liberation: a small minority of hyper successful men get to experience the vast majority of sexual encounters, and if this is not you, then you either remain a completely sexless virgin, or you have to fight for crumbs of attention from older, less attractive, or “ran-through” women who don’t respect you and will cheat on you in a heartbeat. After all, women fantasize about sexual encounters with hyper successful men, and in modern times they are free to act out this fantasy without having to worry about whether the man will stick around or not. We as a society have outgrown the “ideal” from ancient times of a 1-1 male to female pairing where sex is practically guaranteed to anyone willing to commit to a relationship. Now, your mere willingness to commit to a woman does not make you worthy of sex. Society is now embracing the fact that not all men are meant for sex.

For many men, this is a tough pill to swallow: that just being a good guy with a decent personality does not mean that you are entitled to sex. It can feel quite frustrating when you see women in public dressed in a way that flaunts their sexuality, but you also know that this display is not for you. Furthermore, any attempt you make at flirting or trying to make a sexual advance on these women is met with extreme social blowback. Who do you think you are? Trying to “pick up women?” They’re not just sexual objects for your disgusting pleasure, perv. Learn to respect people’s boundaries. Women should be able to exist in public life without getting harassed by lonely horny men who think their provocative outfits are an invitation to disturb them. The toughest pill to swallow is the fact that yes, staring is harassment, and if you get caught making a woman uncomfortable with your inappropriate glances, you deserve to get kicked out of whatever place you’re in, and you likely will.

“But she’s asking for it, right? With what she’s wearing, she’s advertising her sexuality on purpose! How am I supposed to completely avoid looking at her or getting an erection/orgasm?”

By learning to be an ally to women instead of a misogynist. Learn to have empathy. Does she want some creep approaching her and asking if she’s single? Or would she rather you keep your head down and mind your business? Yes, in modern times there are lots of beautiful women showing a lot of skin in public. You must learn to control yourself around them. If that’s too much for you to manage, you don’t belong in public at all.

“But then how am I supposed to meet a woman? When I approach them in public, it’s like they can smell the virginity on me, and they always reject me. And I can’t secure any dates online either. What am I supposed to do? Just respect their decision to reject me and stop creeping them out with my unwanted advances?”

Exactly. We aren’t living in the 1900’s anymore. Just being a nice, respectful guy doesn’t give you the right to sex. The men who get all the sex have been doing so since high school. They have very large social circles, which function almost like a funnel that brings them more women to fuck, thereby increasing the scope of their social circle even further. They have social media accounts that illustrate their social dominance. After all, it’s 2024 and one of the main ways people meet their hookup partners nowadays is through Instagram DM’s or dating apps. There certainly is a positive feedback loop causing the male social elites to have sex with more and more women, whereas for a male virgin, one reason women avoid him is specifically due to his lack of experience, thus perpetuating his sexlessness.

[distant--shadow]

I usually agree with most of your Fearne takes but i don’t think involving the players directly (as in the individuals, not the characters) is necessarily relevant here? Its a little bit of a stretch to think we can assume what these people are thinking of and viewing the situation as. I think most of the cast is just aware of the limited time they have to expand on certain situations. Which of course is a shame!! We want that attention to the relationships that were put a little more to the side. But i don’t think that necessarily means it reflects anything about their personal views and thats a little bit of a far-fetched thing to assume. Not meaning to be annoying about it, I just think in-game discourse should not mix with assessing anything about these people or calling it character mistreatment. I don’t know if I got your point correctly, and if not, I’m sorry. I just think its a reality that the fandom would benefit from accepting: these people have a job and limited time per episode to do it. Fearne has plenty of other ways to shine and I don’t think it is MEANT to be poly erasure (as a poly person myself who was hyped for representation) or that she’s being forced into monogamy. Its just something thats quite hard to balance in the setting they are if they want time for all characters. Hope you have a great day nonetheless :)

ayo, that's cool, I think as far as I've expressed my opinions on here I have described the players and their characters as having "selective hearing" when it comes to fearne stating her views on sexual and romantic relationships for herself - and I stand by that - because as you said and despite of it, yes there hasn't been as much time this campaign for character exploration, and yet fearne and Ashley (discussing her character out of episode time) has stated her wants and interests many times, and since early campaign. I'm not trying to start beef about it, I just, also personally as a point of relating, find it exhausting, especially how a hint of a romantic monogamous ship from her is treated and encouraged and pushed, once again, despite what she keeps vocalising. I've used the term selective hearing because I don't think anyone is prejudice towards it or disgusted by it, but i do think it is being ignored, and I do think that someone who is better at words than me can write an essay on how this is particularly relating to a female character who is perceived as a bit of an airhead/ditzy/comedy relief/doing it for the bit, and also how a lot of people ultimately wish to see a "slutty" character settle down with one person caus it's seen as "growth" (I won't go into everyone except ahston in later episodes post lava pit/shard acquiring ignoring fearnes wishes to not have the rock and not allowing her no's either but I do think the two are related)

but aye, don't feel bad about coming in with your opinions, we're not always gonna agree and I'm just here to share mine. I'm not tryna get anyone called out or anything. I share frustrations about my favourite show caus I care and I'm real enthusiastic about it and that manifests in a lot of ways including drawing fanart and chatting shit.

[ghuleh-witch]

And We Are Tied As One Eternally-IX

Fandom: Ghost Rating: Explicit Warnings: stalking Relationships: Papa Emeritus IV/Copia x OFC Additional Tags: soft!dom Copia, eventual smut, developing relationship, kind of a slow burn, no beta reader Chapter Word Count: 2341 Summary: Ellie Moran just wanted to make a new life for herself. Running to escape the people in her past, she ends up in a small town in the middle of nowhere that happens to be home to a Satanic church. She never expected her life to change again after she started attending the public masses at said church. Ao3 || Masterlist Chapters: 9/? Previous Chapters Tag list: @sodoswitchimage Fic Divider by @gothdaddyissues

“He asked you to the ball as his plus one?” Gemma asked Ellie a couple of days later. After confiding in Gemma about everything that happened involving her apartment and her history with Ethan, Gemma just held her and soothed her. She felt closer to the other woman and it felt nice to have a friend.

“Yeah,” Ellie said. “He said we can go as friends or whatever I want. Whatever that means.” 

“Sounds like he doesn’t want to presume it’s a romantic thing like a date unless you want it to be,” Gemma said. “But you said yes?”

“Yeah, I said I’d go with him.”

Gemma squealed as softly as possible as they were sitting in the library. “Do you have something to wear?”

“Well, no,” Ellie said. “Formal dresses weren’t high up on my things to pack while fleeing my ex.” 

“I’ll take you dress shopping,” Gemma said. “This weekend.” 

“Okay,” Ellie said. “Thanks, that actually sounds really nice.”

“We’ll make sure it has pockets so you can carry some condoms on you.”

Ellie chocked. “What?”

Gemma rolled her eyes. “For when you bang Papa.”

“I’m not going to bang him,” Ellie sputtered. “This is just a friend thing…”

“And I’m the king of England,” Gemma smirked. “Hey, I don’t care if you use them or not, at least have some on you just in case. Anyway, let’s focus.” She reached for the paper she had read a few moments before. “Where were we? Ah, okay this one, This doesn’t apply to you because you’re not becoming a Sibiling of Sin, but if you change your mind—Upon completion of your intitionary training, the current Papa will complete the initiates induction through way of the ancient rite.” 

“Uh, wait, what,” Ellie said as she registered what Gemma said. “Papa has sex with everyone who becomes a Sibling?”

“Yep. The reigning Papa—so Papa Copia will finish an initiates induction through ritual sex. For me, it was Papa Secondo,” Gemma sighed dreamily. “The best sex I’ve ever had.”

Ellie bit her lip as a pang of jealousy rushed through her. “And you all have to do this?”

“Yes, but if someone doesn’t want to do the sex part for whatever reason, the ritual is done symbolically. We’d never force someone to have sex if they didn’t want it, but there are only a handful of people who have done it symbolically. Everyone wants to sleep with the Papas.” 

“What if the reigning Papa is in a relationship?” Ellie then asked. 

“I guess that would be a discussion for the two of them then,” Gemma shrugged. “I’ve never seen a Papa in a relationship while he was Papa, at least not a monogamous one. Either way, it’s a Papa’s duty as a representative of the Olde One.”

“And I don’t have to do it because I’m not joining as a Sibling?”

“Correct. For you, you’ll have to make your case to Sister Imperator with me and Papa to vouch and then she approves you or not before you have an induction with Papa. It’s like a communion ceremony or something. Super tame,” Gemma said.

Ellie barely heard Gemma continue on the subject of the duties of the Sibling. Her mind was caught up on Copia sleeping with every new Sibling that came to the Ministry since the start of his reign. She understood it was part of his job, but the jealousy she felt disgusted her. She should be jealous. Copia wasn’t hers. He was a friend and nothing more.

When she finished her lesson with Gemma, Ellie packed up her backpack. The door to her apartment was replaced and her landlord had her new keys. She told Copia the night before she would be returning to her apartment. He tried to convince her to stay a little longer, but Ellie knew she couldn’t hide. He refused to send her off alone though. He said he would have Aether and a ghoul named Swiss patrolling the street outside of her apartment to make sure Ethan didn’t show up. Ellie didn’t argue. She was thankful for it.

“And I’ll come by when I’m not needed here,” Copia then told her. “I’ll bring some dinner.” Ellie didn’t argue. She was looking forward to spending more time with him. 

Aether took her to her apartment once she was ready to go. Ellie stopped in the office and picked up her new set of keys and then went up to her apartment. She felt Aether’s eyes on her back as she unlocked the door.

“Do you want to come in?” Ellie asked.

“I should go outside and start my watch,” Aether responded.

“Does it matter if you’re outside or in my apartment?” Ellie asked. “You’re supposed to make sure Ethan doesn’t come to my apartment, and wouldn’t it be better if you were already inside with me?”

“I suppose,” Aether said with a shrug. “Alright, fine, but just for a couple of hours. I should be outside when Papa gets here. I don’t want him catching me not following his specific instructions.” 

“Fair enough.”

Aether turned out to be an excellent helper when it came to cleaning up her apartment. What would have taken her four hours only took two. By the time they finished, Aether was heading outside and Ellie was flopping back on her sofa. She lit a candle and looked in her fridge. She had half a bottle of wine, milk that was souring, three bottles of water, and a pack of cheddar cheese. She grabbed the win and hoped Copia didn’t mind how cheap it was. She poured a couple of glasses when there was a knock on her door.

She glanced out the peephole and saw Copia standing there with red oven mitts holding a foil-covered dish with another foil-wrapped package on top. She grinned and opened the door. “Hey,” she greeted, moving aside. “That smells delicious.”

“Thank you, tesoro. It’s my brother’s lasagna recipe and garlic bread,” Copia said as he made his way to her tiny kitchen to set the hot dish down. “Just came out of the oven before I left, so it’s very hot still.”

“Greet, I’m starving,” Ellie said. “I hope you like cheap wine because it’s either that or water. Unless you’d like to sample some sour milk. I won’t stop you, but I will judge you.” 

Copia laughed. “Wine is fine,” he said, unwrapping the food. 

“Your brother’s recipe huh?” Ellie asked looking at the melted cheese and sauce-covered noodles.

“Secondo is a very good cook,” Copia said. “I get a lot of recipes from him.”

“Secondo is your brother?” Ellie asked.

“Si, I thought it was obvious,” Copia said gesturing to his white eye.

“I…I guess I never thought about it,” Ellie responded. “So all the Papas are brothers?”

“Si, we’re all half brothers. Nihil is our father,” he grumbled the last part. “He isn’t much of a dad though.” 

“And your mothers?” Ellie asked.

Copia shrugged. “Women Nihil knocked up and when they saw the white eye they left us at the Ministry. I think Primo had a relationship with his mother, but the rest of us?” He shrugged again. “It doesn’t matter. We have each other. Even if we do want to strangle one another at times.” 

“I’m glad you have each other then,” Ellie said opening a cabinet and pulling out some paper plates. “All I got is paper, sorry.”

“Hey, it works,” Copia said, putting a piece of lasagna on the plate and giving her a chunk of garlic bread. “I hope you like it, cara,” he said handing it to her. 

“I’m sure I will.”

They sat on the floor at her coffee table. Ellie loaded Netflix up on the PlayStation and put on a cheesy horror movie as they ate.

“This is amazing,” Ellie said around a mouthful of cheese. “I haven’t had a decent meal in a while.”

“I imagine moving from place to place doesn’t allow you to keep a fully stocked kitchen,” Copia said.

Ellie shook her head. “It’s been a lot of frozen meals and instant soups.” 

“You can’t live on that, cara,” Copia said sipping his glass of wine. “Secondo and I will make you some food that you can keep in the fridge and reheat.” 

“You don’t have to,” Ellie said, cheeks flushing. She was touched. No one ever offered to cook for her before, but she didn’t want to become someone’s burden.

“I want to,” Copia reassured her. “And Secondo won’t mind.” 

Ellie nodded. Who was she to deny him that? “Okay,” she responded. “Thank you. I really appreciate it. I’m so sick of eating instant ramen.” She laughed softly and finished off her wine to hide the fact that she was tearing up from his offer. “This movie sucks,” she said, changing the subject.

“I know, it’s great.” he laughed. “I love B-rated horror movies.”

They sat in a comfortable silence for a bit. Eventually, Copia got up and put away the rest of the food, telling Ellie to eat through the leftovers and return the dish when she was finished. “Now, to more serious shit,” he said, sitting on the opposite end of the couch from her. “What are we going to do about your ex?”

Ellie sighed. “I don’t know. I’m going to go down to the police station in the morning and try to plead my case again and see if I can get a restraining order. It won’t do me much good, but it’s something at least. Otherwise, there’s not much I can do. I don’t know what he will do if he confronts me.”

“Are you sure you just don’t want to stay at the Ministry until this is dealt with?” Copia asked. “You’ll be safe there.”

“I know,” Ellie sighed. She considered it, she really did. But she needed to deal with this herself. She needed to stand up to Ethan and put an end to this once and for all. “But I need to deal with this, or at least try to.”

“I understand,” Copia said. “But if you change your mind…”

“You will be the first I tell,” Ellie said

“Well, Aether and Swiss will be around all night. They won’t let him near your building. And if you need anything, call me.” 

“I will.” She watched as he stood, wishing he’d stay longer. “I’ll see you for mass on Sunday.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” he smiled. He reached the door and turned to her, taking her hand and bringing it to his lips to kiss. “I’ll see you in a couple of days, tesoro.”

Ellie felt an inferno consume her at the simple gesture. If his lips on her hand did that to her, what would kissing him be like she wondered. “Y-Yeah,” she responded. “I’ll see you. Have a good night.”

“You too. Sweet dreams, Ellie.” 

She watched him leave out the door and make his way down the stairs before she closed the door and locked up. She cradled her hand to her chest and sighed. 

“Shit,” she said to herself. “I like him.” 

He was watching her apartment from across the street. The Airbnb he rented was perfectly positioned to see into her living room. She only had a sheer lace curtain over the window, allowing him to see practically everything inside. His Elenor was so stupid.

He took a drag on his cigarette as he watched the man who had gone into her apartment a couple of hours before leaving. Ethan wasn’t sure who he was exactly. He knew he was affiliated with that damn Satanic church though.

“Oh Elenor, how you have fallen,” he muttered as he watched the man get into a white car and drive off. Ethan tapped the cigarette against the ashtray as his eyes returned to the window. He watched Ellie tidy up her apartment and turn off the light. As if on queue, two masked figures appeared on the street below. Ethan noticed one of them earlier when Ellie had returned to her apartment.

“Freaks,” he muttered. “Playing bodyguard huh? So Elenor isn’t running this time.”

Perfect.

He leaned back in his chair and took another drag. He’d see Ellie tomorrow and have a chat with her. She’d see reason and come back home with him. They’d be together and have the family they were supposed to have.

And if she didn't? Well, he had a plan. 

[beigepillow]

Don’t u think yashiro is abit too romantisized from the writer herself before the fandom , this is a really controversial thing to say but don’t u see yashiro is too feminine and he’s soft like this only bcz a woman wrote this , i mean by that the way yashiro views the trauma is from a woman’s pov which is same as the female writer view, add on that he has this trauma of him possibly being a woman, so if he’s doubting deep down that he could b a woman isn’t that comes from the fact that the writer romanticising him too much as a woman

Something is off and I don’t understand this I searching for an explanation

I am going to try to answer this but the ask is a bit confusing so I’ll go through my thoughts point by point. I am unsure if romanticized is the word you meant to use in this instance. To romanticize is to make something or someone better than it actually is so if you do mean that, I don’t think Yoneda Kou does romanticize Yashiro in that she is making him ���work” for his happy ending. She could have written Doumeki as someone who forgave Yashiro as soon as he got an indication that Yashiro had changed but she didn’t. She also could have written Doumeki in a way that doesn’t care about Yashiro being monogamous and open with him but she didn’t so in that sense Yashiro isn’t romanticized or at least that is not the feeling I get from her writing. As for Yashiro’s reaction being from a woman’s pov, I think you chose an interesting way to word that since, in America and I’m sure many other places, men getting sexually assaulted is seen as emasculating and is thought to somehow make them less of a man. There is a deep sense of shame that actually prevents many men from coming forward because they don’t want to be seen as less than. Yashiro isn’t seeing his trauma from the woman’s pov, he is seeing his trauma as a man who regularly got demeaned for it. Whenever a character implies that Yashiro is a woman or is less than a man, they’re insulting him or Yashiro is perceiving it as an insult to him. I am not sure if Yashiro thinks of himself as a woman. I don’t really focus on Yashiro’s gender identity overall since a majority of my posts are about Doumeki lol. In my opinion, Yashiro actually isn’t feminine at all. He is actually a pretty masculine character. We focus so much on his vulnerable side that we forget Yashiro was a powerful figure in the yakuza who is capable of beating others. Ryuzaki attempts to “treat him like a woman” by protecting him and then has the revelation that it was Yashiro actually protecting him. Women are not welcome in the yakuza beyond sex or as their place as someone’s woman and Yashiro definitely doesn’t have that issue. I think Yashiro is more jealous of women than anything. He thinks only women get treated gently and women aren’t forced to be in the yakuza but both those things are attainable for Yashiro. Yashiro tries to gain back control by seeking out sex with other men but he tries to keep his masculinity by making it violent so it is all very complicated for him. Considering there is more focus on his genitals and accepting gentler touches, I think we’ll see Yashiro accept himself and his preferences in sex while not feeling ashamed and less of a man for it. That is just my interpretation and other people may have different interpretations. My answer got pretty long so I’ll end it here haha.

[thearktikcircle]

About Me:

Hi, I’m an Ashkenazi Jew from Orange County, CA. Born and raised ☀️🍊🌊🤙🏄‍♀️🛹🎢. The home of Diane Keaton, Michelle Pfeiffer, Steve Martin, and Austin Butler. My Mom is an Ashkenazi Jew and my BioDad is not Jewish of Mixed European Heritage (Italian, French, English, Scottish, German, and Irish). I was raised Jewish, had a Bat Mitzvah, but I “celebrate” Christmas and Easter.

Pronouns: They/She (Demigirl Femme Lesbian).

Sexuality: Lesbian Monogamous Asexual. I love women, sapphic aligned nonbinary trans fems, trans women, sapphic aligned nonbinary folks, and sapphic aligned nonbinary trans mascs. I have tried to like men (cis and binary trans), but I don't. It feels forced, empty, hollow, and wrong to the very core of my being. I want to marry a woman or sapphic enby and start a family with her/them. I can be friends with guys, as long as they accept that I will never want to be with them. TERFs, SWERFs, biphobes, and transphobes don't belong in Sapphic spaces. As long as dudes (cis and binary trans) on this website respect my boundaries you can interact with me. If you cross them once, I will block you. Refer to Things I Don't Like. As a trans person myself I will be in community with binary trans guys, but I don't like you that way. We can be friends, though.

Age: 28

Things I Like: Art of All Kinds, Travel (I’ve been to 11 States and 14 Countries), Eating Foods from Around the World, Learning About Other Cultures (16 Years of Studying other Cultures), Hockey (Anaheim Ducks, St. Louis Blues, Pittsburgh Penguins), Soccer (Borussia Dortmund, SSC Napoli, Liverpool FC, Orange County SC), Being From California (West Coast Best Coast), Being Jewish (I’m religious and believe in G-d), Predicting Geopolitical Trends, and Family/Friends.

Things I Don’t Like: Bigots and Extremists, also Onions and Dried Fruit. Jackson Pollock, he was a shitty guy and a shitty artist. This is coming from a person who absolutely loves Abstract Expressionism. Men (Cis and Binary Trans) flirting with me. Any unsolicited sexual messages from anyone.

I’m a Socialist Zionist who supports a Two State Solution 🇮🇱🤝🏽🇵🇸. If you have a problem with that, block me. I believe we can coexist and get along. I don’t like extremists from both sides.

Definition of Zionism: The right of Jews to Self Determination in our Ancestral Homeland.

Also Magneto from the X-Men was right.

Send me a message, I’m always open to making new friends 👋

Header by me. It’s a photo I took while visiting Copenhagen, Denmark.

Pfp by me. It’s a picture of my little brother’s dog. His name is Bandit, but I call him Bandito the Burrito.

[bitter-sweet-coffee]

shadamy for ask game? :) maybe sonamyshad as well 👉👈

i can do both!!!

shadamy

- amy was the one to deeply connect with shadow during his first existential crisis in sa2 and was also the only one to ever see him cry/be emotionally vulnerable

- when she hugs him by accident he doesn’t throw her off he just awkwardly stands there. keep in mind this was probably the first hug he got since maria (if she even hugged him, for all we know this was his first act of affection since we don’t have canon proof of maria hugging him)

- pink and black aesthetic

- since she doesn’t view him as her hero like sonic is, amy is less likely to be reduced to a damsel in the dynamic (i want to note that i do not view sonamy this way nor think it should be written this way bur y’know, fanon tropes). amy is strong!!! so is shadow!!! they’re a power couple!!!

- shadow can spindash as amy bats him into something with her hammer

- amy is naturally empathetic and can read shadow and understand how he feels without requiring too much work from him. she’s emotionally intelligent and therefore shadow will never feel pressured into talking about trauma or his mind. if he does want to share though, we know that amy is smart enough to help him do this, as she shares the same empathy and kindness as maria

- in shth (iirc i haven’t played it in a while) if you do amy’s mission you can’t do rouge’s and vice versa. do with this what you will about choosing the most important feminine influence in his life (no shade to rouge! i’m just sayin 😩)

- shadow has been asleep for 50 years so he’s extremely unadjusted, which makes him young at heart while still being ageless and mature via programming and trauma. therefore, him and amy can experience a lot of new things together!

- amy can learn to be stronger and independent while shadow can learn to be more expressive

- they both have relative anger issues and can go to a scrapyard and beat the shit out of stuff together

- boom shadamy 🥴 amy renovating shadow’s cave and/or moving her gremlin boyfriend out of his gross hole and teaching him how to use furniture

- oh also he’d help her with the ikea furniture so it doesn’t suck

sonshadamy

- all the reasons above BUT you also get sonadow and sonamy so the two ship sides can stop fighting each other

- bisexuality is really awesome

- i already said this but YOU DONT NEED TO WRITE A SINGLE CHARACTER OUT OF A DYNAMIC JUST TO GET A MONOGAMOUS SHIP ITS EPIC

- sonic and shadow can do their own thing and can also alternate dates with amy because they both like alone time and this won’t strain the polycule by having amy left alone or the boys socially drained

- amy can hit a spindashing sonic AND shadow with her hammer

- once again, imagine this in boom. sonic and shadow trying to kill each other and/or makeout but being forced to act civil for amy knowing damn well she’ll kick their asses for ruining dinner and turning into feral beasts

[amysubmits]

Hi there! I wanted to ask for advice if you have time. My boyfriend and I are in a DD relationship. He makes me feel validated and safe in every way since being together. We are monogamous and both feel strongly about that. That being said, before we knew each other, he had a friend that was submissive and they had somewhat of a friends with benefits situation. She was interested in DD and he would hold her accountable for things, but they were not in a committed relationship. It was more of a fun/flirty thing.

Once we started dating, he let her know that any type of flirting and DD type of relationship they had would be ending. He told me that she fully respected that and she would never cross boundaries. Sometimes she will reach out to him if she is going through something or they’ll talk about sports or stuff like that.

Recently she made a comment to him that I found inappropriate. Tbh, if one of his guy friends made it or someone he didn’t have that type of history with in the past, it probably wouldn’t have bothered me at all. But I am a little more sensitive given their history, especially because imo, having any type of DD relationship, is a lot more emotional/intense than vanilla relationships (or can be). The fact that she goes to him when she has something rough going on in her life makes me wonder if she still looks to him like a dominant/safe person. I’m not sure if that’s appropriate now that he’s in a committed relationship.

He told her that the comment she made was inappropriate, and she profusely apologized, and said she wouldn’t cross those lines again. Now I am rethinking if this is normal that they are still friends. He told me that if I’m uncomfortable with her, then he would end their friendship completely. I don’t want to be controlling or force him to end a friendship over one comment. I’m just looking for advice from you or anyone else who has insight. I don’t know if I’m overreacting or not because I’ve never been in this situation.

Hi :) I'm not sure I really have advice on this, unfortunately. I haven't been in a situation like that before, and I think what the 'right' thing to do is, is going to depend a lot on your needs and your partners needs but also somewhat on this other person and how respectful she can be of boundaries that are set. With you saying that if some other friend had said the same thing she said, it wouldn't have bothered you...that makes me think what what she said wasn't super terrible? At the same time, I think it's reasonable to want tighter boundaries to exist between the two of them than you might expect between two friends, given that they have a history and most friends don't. Whether or not that boundary is just not being friends anymore or not is really a personal thing and would be based on whether or not they can both keep things strictly as friends and appropriate/respectful of his relationship with you. I'd assume you can't really know whether that is possible for her, but hopefully you are close enough with him to trust that he'll keep things appropriate on his side, and also to have a sense of whether he would uphold a boundary if she tried to cross the boundary now that it's been clearly set? I wonder if you can discuss with him your insecurities about this friendship, and also admit to him that you don't feel it's right to tell him he can't speak to her because of your insecurity, so you aren't really sure what is best. Explain as much as you can about the specifics of what she's done or what happens within their relationship that makes you insecure. And just see what he thinks and feels. It seems like a good thing for him to be aware of you having messy feelings about this friendship, at least. I hope you two can find a solution together. Maybe a plan for how he would handle it if anything that felt at all inappropriate was said again. :)

[cobwebgf]

how was you in a poly relationship but got cheated on

we were not in a poly relationship either time she cheated on me! i also had clear boundaries she broke when we were. i never wanted a poly relationship, that was all her. i expressed and begged multiple times to be monogamous and eventually was forced to be in a poly/open relationship so she wouldn’t leave me.

anywhoo please don’t send questions about the break up, it’s very triggering because she was abusive and i don’t have to explain myself <3

[polyamzeal]

Soul Eater NOT - Anime Review via Polyamorous Lens

Anytime I see the question asked about what anime has polyamory themes the first anime that always comes up is Soul Eater NOT. Now I had seen the series before I became polyamorous so I didn’t think of it much in that contexts. So I have been wanting to rewatch it to now evaluate it as polyamorous representation. A quick aside on my history with Soul Eater. I actually started the manga of Soul Eater before the anime was ever announced. I was hyped for the anime until I watched the first episode of the anime and realized I didn’t really need to watch it since I already read the manga and knew what would happen. This was my first exposure to reading the manga first before an anime. I stopped reading the Soul Eater manga I think like 3 quarters of the way through because I got bored of it, I always said I should go back to finish it. Even cosplayed Chrona once! For some reason when I saw Soul Eater NOT my interest was piqued and I watched the whole thing. I might have read a tiny bit of the manga too but I don’t remember. Normally I wouldn’t give this much personal background but since the series is a spinoff connected to another story I wanted to be upfront that I actually never really watched the original, just read most of it, so that my biases going into this rewatch are clear.

How is Soul Eater NOT in polyamory representation? Pretty good actually! We have a main character, Tsugumi,that is forced to choose a partner for her “career” but of course there are romantic implications to that partner as well. She is torn between 2 people. Interestingly enough there are a few characters in the main series that do have 2 partners minus the romantic subtext. But the career roles are reversed and there is no precedent for someone in her position to have 2 partners. So she faces a lot of external and internal pressure to choose only 1 to be her partner and reject the other.

By the end of the series she decides to disregard the rules and accept both of them as her partners. All 3 of them are even able to achieve “Soul Resonance” together which basically magically proves that all 3 of them can do together what was previously thought to only be capable by monogamous pairs (with those few dual-weapon miesters being an exception). One particularly nice touch I liked is how she adds that maybe this triad won’t last forever and one day they will need to split. Too many love stories assume a happy-ever-after foreverness to their finale and I actually find that to be toxic. I like that it is acknowledged that someday they might need to split but that doesn’t invalidate that today they are committed to each other.

So should every polyamorous person go watch Soul Eater NOT right now? Sadly not. While the final episode is a triumphant victory for polyamory, it is surprisingly mostly a background detail the rest of the series. When the show wants to amp the drama they bring up the pressure of only having to choose one partner. Most of the series is a chill slice-of-life plot where nothing really related to their relationships come up. Most of the episodes are actually focused on the relationships of other characters. There is subtle character building and development that happens which is a stretch of a way to develop the relationship between the 3 main characters but it is overall fairly thin for half the series. And of course if someone hasn’t seen original Soul Eater they might not be too confused but it definitely helps to have some background on the setting and those characters.

If cutesy slice-of-life stories with a supernatural fantasy twist are your think then yes I highly recommend Soul Eater NOT. But if you just want the dopamine hit of good polyamory representation then this might be too much of a slowburn for you without enough other substance to make the pay-off worth it. Despite all that, I do think it is very fair that this is one of the most polyamory-associated anime there is.

Please let me know your thoughts on Soul Eater NOT and suggest other anime to review via a polyamory lens. As you see below I have now branched out and created a Youtube channel for the PolyamZeal brand so that means more exciting projects in the future!

[cityandking]

i'm late but!! A3, C7, E4, F12, H3, L1 for minah, vesper & bran xoxo

thanks babe // Big Ol’ Honkin’ OC Question List

A3: Do they have any emotional or psychological conditions? Are they aware of it? Do they try to treat it? 

MINAH — likely has a bit of PTSD or some other undiagnosed trauma response. she’s aware of it in that she’s aware that sometimes things Freak Her Out for no discernible reason and she has to cope with the ???????, but I don’t think mental health practices in the Towers Age offer a succinct vocabulary for acknowledging and processing things. mostly she tries to ignore it into going away. obviously that’s going great for her. VESPER — to be honest once you get past the general sense of martyrdom and exhaustion and the dregs of cricle "magic is made to serve man" conditioning, vesper is surprisingly stable both mentally and emotionally speaking. she has some addictive habits, but none that have spiraled into any long-term substance abuse problems BRAN — bran’s definitely got some kind of anxiety disorder, and also probably pretty pronounced seasonal affective disorder. it’s easy to forget about it when she’s living somewhere bright and warm all year round but every now and then it rears its head. she’s more aware of the anxiety—some days when it all gets too much she secrets herself away and waits for the waters to calm.

C7: Do they believe people change over time? If so, is it a natural process or does it take effort?

MINAH — believes people change, but she’s a little iffy on the natural vs effort debate. people change because they have to, or because they’re forced to. how aware they are of the process doesn’t necessarily play into it VESPER — believes people can change if they want to, but it takes effort to do so BRAN — believes people changed based on where they are and who’s around them—there’s an element of effort in there, but change is also a reflection of how the world effects you, whether you realize or not

E4: Did they enjoy school if they went to it?

MINAH — it was okay. some parts of it she liked a lot (seeing other kids, some lessons, skipping out lessons with the other kids, music) and some things were an absolutely pain in the ass to sit through VESPER — vesper (as a nerd) liked school! she liked classes, she liked learning, she liked magic and history and all her instructors who encouraged her questions (well. most of her questions). she liked knowing exactly what was expected of her and how to perform in those areas. and she liked teaching, once she became an enchanter. for all its ills and horrors, she did enjoy the college part of circle life. BRAN — bran was not a great student and really didn’t care for school. there were so many other things she could be doing! also she was kind of one of those kids who either Got something and enjoyed being good at it (maths, navigation, history, fencing) or didn’t get it and hated it (literature, languages, diplomacy).

F12: Would they enjoy a theme park?

MINAH — minah would love a theme park. there are rides, there are performances, there are trinkets, there’s all the fried food you could want! she’d have a great time at a theme park VESPER — she’d have fun, but be slightly overwhelmed by the crowds and probably need to take some time to find a quiet corner and recharge. I’m not sure if she’s the kind of person who enjoys the windswept thrill of a coaster or if she’d prefer to stick to something where her feet are closer to the ground BRAN — absolutely! yes! she’d have the best time. she’d ride everything, especially the big extreme scary stuff. bring on the thrills!

H3: Does your OC believe there’s only one ideal partner (or multiple ideal if not monogamous) for everyone, or that there are many people who could be right?

MINAH — in her deepest secretest heart of hearts minah’s a romantic who believes in One True Love. rationally she knows people make relationships work through love and dedication and effort and whatever, and that believing everyone can only have one ideal partner is childish and irrational, but there’s a part of her holding onto the idea that there's one Person out there VESPER — vesper believes relationships are the kind of thing you have to grow and tend, which means they can appear in endless forms and permutations. rightness is relative BRAN — bran believes in multiple partners who could be the “right” one, for multiple reasons. honestly she’s a little iffy even on the concept of a “right” partner at all (sabine, as usual, is an outlier adn should not have been counted)

L1: How have your characters changed since you created them?

MINAH — minah's much quieter and more blunt than I originally intended, but that's because a) the perils of playing over voice chat (my discord has been shit lately and keeps building up delays which is annoying af) and also because b) I am way less social and improv-y than she is which makes things hard. one of the perils of playing a high-charisma extrovert when I am neither of those things. such is D&D VESPER — vesper went through a pretty rigorous creation process and was sort of birthed out of the ashes of an older trevelyan mage, which feels appropriate for vesp given all her fire symbolism (the og gal was named mara and was a knight-enchanter). that said, once she existed in the world, she's kind of stayed the same. no major changes, just more depth BRAN — she’s changed so much from her very initial conceptualization—a villainous (antihero?) doomed love interest in my 2015 nanowrimo novel to a noble and cleric of a sea god to her current iteration. that said, once she reached her Varania Form I think she's been pretty settled—she just gets deeper and richer and more nuanced the longer she lives with me

[myrskytuuli]

I had a-swimming-in-a-lake-thought about a nascent plot-bunny regarding dagor-dagorath in 6th age middle-earth and branched into thoughts of what 6th age middle-earth would look like world building-wise, and no, not following the idea that middle-earth turns into our world, but with modern technology in middle-earth. Dwarves building particle accelators and Gondorian historical society fighting a losing battle to prohibit the access of cars to the historical Minas Tirith and very few elves that still live in middle-earth getting terrifyingly good at coding, to the point that most governments just cross their fingers and hope that said elves don’t decide to hack classified documents just for fun.

And then I started pontificating what would have happened to the orcs in those ensuing ages of middle-earth and came to the conclusion that the Republic of Mordor would be the funniest answer. Orcs would have never in their history had a good experience of a monarch, Sauron and Morgoth fulfilling a more religious role and when they were around not exactly as benevolent figures, and the historical tradition of “if we don’t like a chieftain we kill them” does not really jive in the hostile fourth age when it seems that they might die out if they don’t lock arms in some manner. Which might force the orcs eventually to come up with a less bloody way to continue the tradition of you rule as long as you don’t piss of the masses too much. Which is how after about a thousand years or so, Mordor’s presidential elections are the first ones on middle-earth. And while it takes Mordor a long long time to abandon war as recreation, it does slowly settle into peace as history eventually sweeps everyone into its current. 

This all worked as a backdrop to the idea that what if the doors of night finally opened and Melkor in all his dark glory fell back to middle-earth only to find out that:

1. His jail time in the void has left him very weak and he is going to need time to charge those valar-batteries before he can arise in any notable might.

2. Being bound to a weakend physical form was not a problem for him in the past, but in the past he also had loyal armies. Those loyal armies are not exactly enthused to listen to some crazy person in a street-corner declaring that it is the end of days and that they should all follow him to a holy war, insisting that Middle-Earth is flat. (Meanwhile Turin Turambar is lost in a Rohanian suburbia, desolate and despairing amongst the identical roundabouts, and Feanor forgot all about the end of the world when he found the particle accelerator).

And at this point Grishnákh the sixth age orc wandered into my imagination, the only witness to the fact that Melkor actually did fall through a hole in reality and actually is THE Melkor. Which is not knowledge that this young sociology student with vague religious trauma that she’s been working through with her human girlfriend she met while on an exchange student program in the University of Gondor ever wanted on her shoulders.

She has been doing so good untangling her own desires from the ever-prevailing cultural Melkorism that subtly cuts through every aspect of society in Mordor. Healing from the fact that her grandmother still cannot accept that she is in a monogamous relationship, insisting that she should simply satisfy her fleshly desires with nameless strangers like Lord Melkor intended. Was just starting to notice how truly fucked up it is that every political candidate has to pay lip service to Melkorist values if they ever want to get anywhere. How fucked up it is that in the core of all the pretty rhetoric about “living like every day was your last” and “Seeking pleasure” and “Prioritizing your self and happiness” there looms the fact that the actual creed of fundementalist Melkorism declares that the end of days will bring about a purification when all the other unworthy races are wiped off middle-earth. 

How many crusades to wipe out the unfavoured races did orc tribes go in the past, all in the name of the Dark Lord. Sure, the Death Metal moshpit grindcore music from the classical revivalist period of Melkorist worship is spectacular, and the fact that the reformist puritans banned all worship grindcore raves as heretical was a shame and a loss, but if you listen to the lyrics of those songs, they are all excited about the concept of the apocalypse. And the horrible religious guitar country songs played by over-enthusiastic youth pastors in community centers, (the sad aftermath of the strict puritanism dying out. The living in caves, pillaging and murdering outsiders for fun, with no art nor culture, as we did in the good old days under the Dark Lord’s rule was not sustainable way to attract followers), haven’t much changed in core messaging.

All this is to say that Grishnákh doesn’t want to live in a world where the Valar and Melkor especially are actually real, not just names to be waved around as a justification for past atrocities. And right now she’s the only one who knows that the moment the angry vala snoring on her sofa regains his full powers, it will be over for everyone, whether he manages to gather armies or not. And let’s be honest, there are a lot of people out there who would join in a holy war if they were made to believe that Melkor was the real deal. And what is she supposed to do? Try to convince Morgoth himself to not start the end of days? Would it even matter, if the other valar are also real? But Grishnákh doesn’t want the world to end, she wants to finish her degree and marry her girlfriend, so she has to at least try.

And meanwhile if she wasn’t ignoring her girlfriend during her personal crisis,   Grishnákh’s girlfriend would have informed her of the newest social media personality rising in popularity at alarming speed. @4NN4-T4R has been livebloggin his journey of rediscovering the world “after he lost his memories in an accident” (a claim heavily thought to be bullshit by sceptics) and is already getting approached by celebrities and billioinaires for influencer-deals. His gift-giveaways are especially so popular they sometimes borderline on mass hysteria amongst the fans. 

Anyway, this nascent plot bunny got so out of hand.

[randomestfandoms-ocs]

🍊 🍭 🧁 for Camellia?

🍊 Monogamous? Open relationship? Polyamorous?

Within canon, monogamous (technically open relationship with Finnick but that’s because they’ve both been forced into prostitution not because it’s what she wants) but 100% poly for crossover purposes

🍭 How sexually active is your character?

Not very.  She and her boyfriend had sex on a semi-regular basis, probably once or sometimes twice a week, and then she and Finnick live in different districts and don’t have many chances to be together  (Also not counting Capitol clients but I don’t think they should count)

🧁 When did your character lose their virginity?

When she was 15, to her boyfriend

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