welcome-to-oslov

[welcome-to-oslov]

Hello - after having only read A Serviceable Boy, I’m obsessed with All the Kinds of Broken! I’d like to read the rest of the series in chronological order - do you have a chronological list of the works in the series? I started to read the story descriptions, but didn’t want to get spoiled…

Thank you so much for reading them!! <33

The list here is chronological except that I put All the Kinds of Broken at the end. If you want to avoid the descriptions, here's just the list of titles in order after A Serviceable Boy:

Sleeping Arrangements (actually takes place before the epilogue of ASB)

The Slap

Tea and Other Stuff

Asked and Answered (kind of a plotless one-off)

The Trip to Thurskein

It's Her Party

I'll Be Watching You

The Days After

The Trip to Harbour

Crosscurrents and Consequences

Feather Snow

Tales From the Sanctioned Brothel Part 1: The Painted Boy (Tilrey is mostly not in this one, but it does set up new characters who are in the finale)

Spitting Image

Tales From the Sanctioned Brothel Part 2: The Lure (starts braiding Tilrey back into the story, but still focused on other characters)

Tales From the Sanctioned Brothel Part 3: The Chase (Tilrey's important again in this one and central in the following stories.)

The Tinderbox

Oslov Unlocked

Oslov Unraveled (which is technically unfinished, but I think I'm gonna mark it finished, since all that's missing is a long epilogue that might as well be its own story)

Happy holidays and happy reading!

[welcome-to-oslov]

Makari being back in the latest chapter is making me think back to the very beginning.

What if Tilrey hadn't proven to be perfect for Malsha after all? Malsha's had a long line of boys, surely; I wonder how he discarded those he was bored with (as Tilrey's heard about Veran).

Fortunately for all of us (except for Tilrey, sorry Tilrey!) he was *exactly* what Malsha liked; thinking of him not being so means picturing him being a completely different person. The type of guy Malsha would probably discard right away would be someone stupid & uninteresting; or dazzled by his surroundings & not minding too much what he's being told to do; or so traumatized he just lay there trying to be drugged out 24/7. Surely Malsha must've encountered at least one of this type at once, besides Artur & Krisha who were fine but phased out.

I guess the fourth type that might not have worked out is if he'd pushed for his rights TOO much. Yes, Tilrey did try: he told Jena no, he asked to send him back, he told Malsha what "he was really doing", he ran away, he wrote that testimony. But it was all spread out and backed up by such vulnerability it just made it even more fun for Malsha. Would Malsha have enjoyed having to put in the work to *truly* break someone who fought back full force unrelentingly? I don't think so... Tilrey to Malsha (and perhaps in certain ways to Linden to come) was such a delicious combination of breakable yet unbreakable yet breakable all over again :'(

You know Malsha’s tastes very well, and I think you’re right about that! Malsha didn’t want to work too hard on “breaking” someone. Overt violence isn’t his thing; sneaky emotional abuse is. Plus he is old and tired and does like having a (reluctantly) compliant partner to keep him company.

Malsha did roofie and rape Artur on their first encounter, so he’s not too squeamish to do that. After that, though, he got Artur’s compliance with the too-good-to-refuse offer of Raising his sister. That parallels how he gave Tilrey to the soldiers to “tenderize” him initially so he would be easier to deal with. I think Malsha likes to be both good cop and bad cop, though often he enlists someone else to be the bad cop and do the violence for him.

Long ago I did have some stories in my head about Malsha’s previous kettle boys, one of whom was from Harbour, but I don’t think any of them resisted as much as Tilrey. Malsha could go find a hard-core rebel, but I think he likes his comforts too much to turn part of his home into a prison cell. He wants to maintain a fiction of consent and a real relationship at least part of the time.

I’ve been thinking about the AU where Tilrey goes with Malsha to Harbour. Tilrey’s resistance would strengthen and become a real problem for Malsha in that scenario. I’m thinking multiple escape attempts, and Malsha might try chaining him to the bed for a bit. It’s just harder to control someone in a temperate climate without a totalitarian government and surveillance everywhere. So eventually Tilrey escapes and takes Malsha with him as a hostage. And this doesn’t end well for Malsha!

[welcome-to-oslov]

Can't help but ask: your thoughts on the hot assassin?

My thoughts: I think it's extremely tragic & sad situation for everyone involved. The "assassin", who's created a terrible future for himself & who I think clearly developed some sort of mental health issue that made it possible for him to do this (and I'm still not convinced there isn't an accomplice, maybe someone online or irl who egged him into this while his mental health was deteriorating during the months he disappeared from friends & family); obviously for the young kids & elderly mother of the guy who died; and for the millions of people suffering & dying from health issues made worse by barriers to care that could help them. Just like I don't understand how someone can literally kill another person for real, I also can't understand how someone shows up to work everyday to do tasks that make life harder for people who need help.

And of course, as our country somehow spirals into bizarro version of Oslov Unraveled, couldn't help but think of paralels! Lol sob

Just like this scenario, do you think that Tilrey's good-lookingness was part of what made it possible for his culture to ultimately accept him being a rebel disruptor? I mean, I guess obviously his looks are part of what made it possible for him to be the "key to Oslov": even after his kettleboy days were long gine, it's what entangled all the powerful people in continued relationships with him that gave him access & ability, made them indulge him hanging around as an almost-Upstart, overlook the ways he wasn't truly conforming to Drudge submission that they may not have in someone they didn't like looking at or liked projecting what kind of guy they wanted him to be onto him.

In our universe's case, obviously everyone would be losing interest atp if he weren't so damn cute. But I think that is more an indictment of what a DEARTH we have of reasonably baseline attractive guys in our country (even among celebs!) 😂😩😭 One comes along with a cute smile, in shape, and dresses nicely and we lose our collective minds lmao

I did have this exact thought! 😅 I follow a lot of romance writers who were claiming to be inspired by him. I haven’t been following it closely, but I kinda guessed the hot assassin would turn out to have mental health problems and/or problematic beliefs. It’s so dangerous to make anyone into your hero, especially a murderer (!). But at the same time, I’m terrified of the US healthcare system, especially after the ACA subsidies go away, because they make life possible for me right now. It’s messed up and scary. I hate that policies that demonstrably kill people have become normalized and are even seen by some as virtuous because capitalism. I feel all that rage too, and the desire for a Robin Hood figure to stand up and fight.

I really do think attractive people have a lot of pull in society, and a social movement has way more power once you put a face on it. Sure, it’s partly because of social media, but cults of personality existed during the French Revolution too. Marie Antoinette was incredibly memeable by both sides, whether it was the revolutionaries painting her as “Let them eat cake” or the royalists making her a martyr, and it was more about her image than her actual character.

Oslov barely even has traditional media—you have Upstarts passing those photos of Tilrey around, and you have Stefan playing a hot victim of social injustice in a stream, and that’s kinda it. But Stefan fired up the masses because he was hot and sad and unjustly accused, and Tilrey was in a position to use that power partly because he was hot and had access to the highest levels of government. I mean, he had to be smart too, but being hot was a key piece.

If the Unabomber had been hot, would there be a cult around him? I read his manifesto for research, and he was smart and made some fair points about the drawbacks of modern society if you disregard the terrible conclusions he drew from them.

Anyway, I do think that beauty sways people whether they want to believe it does or not. A beautiful bully is still just a bully, so looks aren’t enough on their own if you hate everything the person stands for. But a beautiful underdog or rebel is a powerful meme in the making. One of the things I like about The Hunger Games is that Suzanne Collins shows how much image-making goes into being a successful rebel in an image-driven society.

[welcome-to-oslov]

"All the Kinds of Broken," Chap. 47

I do love Besha's sliminess. His sexuality is kind of interesting, as we see more of later in the series. But of course he's also awful.

This may be the last thing I can post until mid-January. It's gonna be a crunch. But I'll be thinking about these characters, and I thank you all so much this holiday season for encouraging me to write about them and just generally being awesome. <33

[welcome-to-oslov]

This sounds like a cheesy question for sure, but curious, given we're now embedded in a time of his life when Tilrey feels pretty lonely/sad, plus of course all the difficulties he has letting go & being real long into the future:

how does he really feel love, receive it? Or would want to receive it? How does it really get inside him, so he can feel it? How does it come naturally to him to show love?

Is he a words of affirmation person, quality time, receiving gifts? Maybe not. Maybe acts of service might be it - as he blurted out, "you take such good care of me" to Bror as he was slowly falling for him. And of course that's how Tilrey shows his deep, if trauma-bound, love for Ceill. Physical touch being a love language would clearly have been taken from him... but he was an affectionate boy back home in Thurskein as a teen, before he was stolen away. And his first time coming on his own, after so many years under Malsha's control, with Gersha when they finally connected for real meant so much to him.

He needs some more love in his life! It's so hard for him to feel safe to feel it and to share it, for almost the rest of his life now 😢

He does need more love in his life! Thinking about the different love languages in relation to Tilrey made me realize something: Malsha polluted the whole idea of love for him.

Tilrey’s mom is loving in an undemonstrative way, so I’m thinking he was brought up to think of love as a combination of acts of service and maybe quality time. It’s something you act on, not something you talk about. It’s the choice to spend time with someone, even if you’re both just doing your own thing.

But Malsha’s love language? Cruelty. Which I realize is not a love language except in Malsha’s head, but I think this is something that happens sometimes to victims of emotional abuse: they can’t disconnect the “love” from its twisted expression. When you associate a parent or parent figure’s attention with coldness and criticism, you start seeing those as the only “real” expressions of love and second-guessing everything else. Not to mention that Tilrey’s job as a kettle boy involves receiving touch, gifts, and words of affirmation in a context where there is no real love, only a facsimile. No wonder he brushes off everyone who approaches him with these things, including Gersha originally.

I think Bror found a sneaky path into Tilrey’s heart by being his friend first. Tilrey trusts friendship, like he had with Dal and Pers. But he doesn’t trust love, because Malsha constantly used the language of love while hurting him. Once you internalize the message of “I hurt you because I love you,” you might seek out that kind of love—or you might try to protect yourself from ever feeling love at all. 😥💔

[welcome-to-oslov]

"All the Kinds of Broken," Chap. 46

Just a short chapter to deal with Tilrey's feelings about what just happened with Bror, and because I'm having Feelings about the state of the world and writing this helped.

There will be more. I hope everyone out there is safe and coping tonight.

[welcome-to-oslov]

Let's just say, we need a real-life Tilrey circa Oslov Unraveled denouement right about now (written by me at 2am 11/5/24 🙏😱😩😥)

I’m not the only one who can’t sleep. 😨😨 I wish Bror, Tilrey, and the True Hearth were here right now.

Hang in there and keep fighting the good fight, if you’re in a position to do so. ❤️ And please stay safe.

[welcome-to-oslov]

"All the Kinds of Broken," Chap. 45

My life is just madness right now, but I need to keep coming back to this story. It helps me deal with all the other stuff. So if you're reading it, thank you!

Anyway, at long last, Tilrey & Bror, going all the way. And a little Ansha POV, I think for the first time.

[welcome-to-oslov]

Have you ever struggled with writing flaws when it comes to mostly positive characters? Felt like you risked writing a Mary Sue? For example, Tilrey is a very sympathetic character and, especially when young, doesn't have any really glaring flaw. But he always feels so real. Plus once he's older and he has some power in his hands he actually gets truly unpleasant at times. I remember seeing comments that were afraid that he would turn into a straight-up dark character. Were you ever afraid that by writing a clever, attractive, empathetic MC you'd end up with a monodimensional one instead?

It's funny, I worry way more about the opposite—writing "unlikable" characters. In my other writing life, I write a lot of stories with female MCs whom readers don't like for one reason or another. Either they're too shy or they're too blunt and snarky or they're too extra—it's always something!

So it makes me very happy to hear readers say nice things about Tilrey. <3 Maybe it's easier for me to write likable male MCs than female ones, and I should think about why that is. Maybe readers tend to judge female MCs differently (I probably do it myself). Or maybe Tilrey is just my fantasy and I'm writing from the id and not worrying about little things like realism. ;)

Tilrey has had his share of bad moments, though! In the chapter I just posted, he starts a fight with Bror because he's under stress and afraid to just talk about it. (No, it's not a serious fight. ) He can be neurotic and passive and fatalistic. Given what he's been through, it's hard to blame him. But sometimes I wonder if I give Tilrey some of my own faults so I can use him as a way to come to terms with them.

On him they feel less like faults, though, which is interesting. Is it just because he's so attractive, or is there something else? I wish I could bottle up some of whatever I put into Tilrey and apply it to my writing of other main characters.

[welcome-to-oslov]

"All the Kinds of Broken," Chap. 44

Arrrghh, I wanted to actually finish this chapter, but I decided to make it two chapters so I could post something because I've had so little time to write lately. Cliffhanger warning!

[welcome-to-oslov]

"Tilrey Bronn in conversation with ColdColdHeart" I can't tell you how much I enjoyed that lil interview! What a lovely idea 🥰

Very true to Tilrey how he tried to deflect your questions -- he does default to trying to keep his feelings hidden, doesn't he? 😏

The thread of underlying sadness around how he imagines his life would've gone, and especially that glimpse of how he imagined fatherhood to be and his (undeserved) self-flagellation of how it went it this life -- wow 😢. I wonder if these thoughts cross his mind more often than even we've seen 😢.

Thank you, it was fun to hang out with Tilrey for a bit! I need more Oslov in my life right now.

Self-flagellation is so Tilrey. 😢 But I hope in the wake of the revolution he’ll be able to spend more time with Ceill and see how well his kid turned out and understand that he was part of the process of raising Ceill to be a good person. He wasn’t Ceill’s only role model, and that’s okay! It takes a village, etc! And the revolution gives Ceill so many reasons to be proud of his dad.

[welcome-to-oslov]

Random question, and I probably just forgot/missed it in the fics, but curious all of a sudden: how did Tilrey's clothes change after he was freed? About to be 25, Gersha's secretary, no longer a kettleboy (though everyone will always look at him & see that in him, and as secretary he must see & be near all those people constantly who hurt him).

But anyway, back to the clothes!

He hated the stiff, form-fitting, overly elite kettleboy outfits - and in fact they were "wrong" for his level, allowed only because his rulers wanted him in it (for the sexiness, the fantasy, the transgression).

How does he get to dress now, as a Laborer secretary? Does it differ when he's a young man vs later?

Does he feel better in it, in the new clothes (if any)?

Good question! I think I remember a passage in Oslov Unraveled where Tilrey thinks about his clothes and how they haven’t changed since he was 25 and became Gersha’s secretary, and how weird that is, because now he’s twice that age and basically the ruler of Oslov. I didn’t find it, but there is this, from Einara’s POV:

“Einara looked him up and down, searching for signs of his new status. He was still wearing his usual Laborer clothes, though there was no longer anyone to reprimand him for putting on a nice tweed coat or a tunic.”

So, what is he wearing? A “jerkin” and trousers. The main difference is that a tunic is structured with a tight waist and neck and a jerkin is looser. Tilrey’s always been happy to wear these less fussy clothes that don’t mark him out as a kettle boy. It doesn’t even occur to him that in this post-revolutionary world, he could grab an Upstart’s nice tweed coat and wear that over his jerkin. It would no longer be a wardrobe violation! Einara wonders why he doesn’t just wear whatever he wants, because she’s not an Oslov. Tilrey still has all the conditioned Oslov beliefs, to a degree.

What will Oslovs wear after the revolution? Will they ever discover color and self-expression? That remains to be seen. 😉

[welcome-to-oslov]

When writing Tilrey's epic journey, has he ever surprised you?

Thinking of his big argument with "you" about living in a brothel ;), in the most recent chapter -- his vehement repudiation of what you think he wouldn't mind so much.

Curious how it's been writing a character through such a journey three decades of his life & if he's ever made decisions, taken/not taken action, or felt things you, the author, hadn't expected :)

I’ve been thinking about this! Examples aren’t springing to mind, maybe because I’m stressed out and not finding time to get immersed in Oslov, so I thought I would ask Tilrey about it.

ME: Do you remember any times you’ve surprised me?

TILREY: When are you going to finish the chapter where Bror and I have an overnight in a snowy cabin?? It was just getting good.

ME: Oh, so you like that scenario? I guess that’s not such a surprise. But you know, it feels like you’ve never pushed me toward any particular pairing. You like Bror, you like Gersha, you like other people. You seem to resist monogamy.

TILREY: Okay, so maybe I’m not very good at OTPs? But remember how you used to imagine me breaking up with Gersha and living sad and alone in a dormitory? I said no to that, too.

ME: You also resisted marriage when Gersha proposed to you. You eventually said yes, but with reservations. I think you have issues committing to anything, including the single life.

TILREY: After all you’ve put me through, does that surprise you?

ME: Um, no. Tell me something. Do you secretly regret that you aren’t living in Thurskein married to Dal the way you originally planned?

TILREY: Yeah. Sometimes.

ME: I think you would have been unfulfilled. You would never have led a revolution!

TILREY: Someone else could’ve done that. And I would have been spared so much pain.

ME: I know it’s terrible having Malsha in your head. But he introduced you to so many things! Books, politics, the whole world of Harbour. He expanded your horizons. Aren’t you better off?

TILREY: I guess I might’ve been a little boring if I’d stayed in Thurskein. I have a lazy, go-with-the-flow side.

ME: And Dal would have eventually cheated on you and broken your heart. C’mon, you know it’s true.

TILREY: She does always enjoy starting trouble. But you know, I think we would have had two or three kids, and I would have focused on them just like my mom did on me. I would have made a great dad in Thurskein. The way it turned out instead, in Redda—well, I did my best. That’s the most I can say.

ME: Your saying that isn’t a surprise to me, but I think you need to work on loving yourself.

TILREY: You say that while you’re delaying the best part of my overnight with Bror?! That was a good memory for me! Bittersweet, but good.

ME: It’s been a rough couple of weeks, but we’ll get back to the cabin in the woods. I promise. ❤️❤️

[welcome-to-oslov]

It's a beautiful last day of summer where I am, and outside in the garden enjoying the nature wondering how Tilrey is enjoying his trip in the Southern Range right now :) Though I am mixing up thoughts of his future self's trip to Harbour haha - that's where he was delighted & thrilled by the warm weather, leaves, bugs... so heartwarming. At least he gets some nice snowy hikes in on these trips with Malsha & Verán 🥹

That’s funny, we’ve been having similar weather (warm, clear), and on my walk yesterday, I started spinning an AU scene in my head. Malsha and Tilrey were taking a long ramble around Malsha’s estate in luxurious exile in Harbour, enjoying the last wildflowers and the first red and orange leaves. 🍁 Malsha was telling Tilrey all about oaks and asters and seasonal cycles. Good times, or at least compared with being in Redda!

But going back to the Southern Range, I had to leave Bror and Tilrey in the midst of their hike to do some other stuff, and I want to get back to writing that tomorrow. So thank you! ❤️ I’m missing them.

[welcome-to-oslov]

Re: Besha

Besha's still kickin' as Oslov Unravelled reaches its conclusion.

Tilrey knows he's a bad person, always has, but -- he's still never known that it was Besha who orchestrated the Adelbert fiasco, right? That even Adelbert was hesitant & wanted to call it off for being too cruel, but Besha literally didn't give a shit about him as a young victim and how this would hurt him, emotionally and likely physically.

If Tilrey found out now, would he care?

Would it trigger uncomfortable feelings about his younger self as whenever he thinks about those days -- or, in this moment, would he finally be ready to hold feelings of compassion for that boy he was, that boy who formed who he is?

I imagine it would break Gersha's heart to hear how young Tilrey wrote that testimony hoping to be set free.

Oh yes, that would break Gersha’s heart! 😢 Which is probably why Tilrey never told him the story.

But Tilrey does know it was Besha! In Chap. 34 of All the Kinds of Broken, he confronts a guilty Adelbert and pushes him to rat out the person who masterminded their scheme. Adelbert gives him hints and Tilrey makes a correct guess.

This is when he first realizes he might have some leverage over Besha. He knows now that Besha had something weird going on with Malsha, and after he sees that Besha has the scarf he remembers at Malsha’s house, he will understand what a traitor Besha is. He’ll keep quiet, saving the intel for the moment when he can use it.

So Tilrey has never had any reason to trust or like Besha, but Besha is so useful that he doesn’t think about taking revenge on him either. They’re “friends,” but down deep Tilrey will always know Besha isn’t trustworthy and would sell Tilrey out instantly if it benefited him.

So… will Besha ever get his comeuppance? Hint: that’s one reason I’m planning to write an “epilogue” to Oslov Unraveled. There is a bit of reckoning coming!

[welcome-to-oslov]

"That’s the part that scares him the most: never getting his bodily autonomy back."

He wants that so badly? 🥺

He does! 🥺 Even when he’s choosing to sleep with Councillors to help Gersha’s rise to power, basically continuing some aspects of his life as a kettle boy, it’s about finally being in control and gaining/wielding the power himself.

Would he have been happier if he hadn’t continued to use his body as a tool? I do wonder about that sometimes. But I think it was something he needed to do to work through all those years of having no control.

[welcome-to-oslov]

Speakinggggg of Easter Eggs, as a frequent Tumblr follower + chapter reader, I feel like I just got one - witnessed an argument between character & author 😅🤯😍

You've mentioned a few times on here that you think that if Tilrey had ended up thrown in a brothel instead of kept as a kettle boy (at the beginning, in the end, in an alternate storyline), it actually probably wouldn't be as bad as he'd fear, maybe even better for him in some ways than being a kettle boy (the camaradarie etc).

Welp, now you've got your answer to what he thinks of you telling him that! 😂😱😢

Gourmanian just had your exact words in his mouth, and Tilrey was so angry - vehemently insisting NO: I would NEVER want that nor be okay with that.

He'd rather end up having to "belong" to another Upstart indefinitely to be his secretary (something he's never wanted & always dreaded with Malsha) than THAT. *That* is too terrifying, awful, and dehumanizing.

I feel we must respect his perspective, huh 😅🥹Tilrey is the victim here, Tilrey is the one having to live through this, and Tilrey feels in his bones that he could never live out his life being consigned into a brothel, not even The Sanctioned 🥺

😂😂 You know, I had the same thought while writing that! Tilrey and I have very different perspectives on this issue!

See, from my own POV, I’ve written a bunch of stories set inside the Brothel that feature the workers there finding solidarity and carving out different forms of power for themselves, so it doesn’t seem necessarily so terrible to me.

But that’s taking the long view. All my main Brothel characters—Kai, Stefan, Einara—were miserable there at first. It makes sense that Tilrey would be petrified of that fate, especially because it could be a life sentence. That’s the part that scares him the most: never getting his bodily autonomy back.

Not to mention that other kettle boys, even Bror, speak of Brothel workers with contempt. It’s like there’s another class system for sex workers, with kettle boys seeing themselves as elites, and Tilrey isn’t immune to that.

Gourmanian isn’t wrong about the camaraderie, but he’s choosing to ignore the exploitative and coercive aspects of the Brothel because they benefit him.

I do think Tilrey could have done okay for a few years in the Brothel, mainly because he would have avoided some of the worst stuff he’s experienced as a kettle boy. But not if he had to stay there indefinitely! Not unless he found a way to become the director like Einara. There’s another potential AU—Tilrey and Einara locked in a struggle for control of the Brothel!

I think we know Tilrey’s thoughts on that, though. 😅 Since Stefan had a similar background but the opposite fate (Brothel instead of kettle boy), I wonder whether he would have changed places with Tilrey?