#and I do NOT have time

[multi-lefaiye]

sorryyyy gonna vent under the cut

torn between "this customer knows nothing about me and i know nothing about him and i'm not going to assume that there is malice in his actions because i have no reason to" and "i need to sit this man down and explain to him in detail the consequences his actions are having for me specifically and also i hate him"

(elaborating in tags)

[zadien]

I don't have time to write a Chenford Fanfic but I have an idea - Part One

I do not have the time or the energy to write a Chenford Fanfic (I have an 800k behemoth to finish instead) but 6x06 got me thinking things. So if I were to write one, it would be this (under cut because it's LOOONG and this is only part one):

Lucy gets some distance by taking some PTO and goes to visit Rachel in NYC. This gives her a friend that she can talk to who knows the players in this story but isn't involved with them and is fully on Lucy's side.

They drink, they have fun, they cry, they examine every sentence of the conversation from multiple angles.

Rachel helps her think things through, applying her own experience and knowledge

Lucy goes through the stages of grief - but doesn't quite hit acceptance.

But she's in a more solid place when she goes back.

While she was away Tamara moved out. Unfortunately Tim happened to arrive to pick up his stuff from a neighbour just as a moving truck leaves with Tamara following in her car.

Timothy throws a wobbler, goes to Grey demanding to know if Lucy's left (she's not been at work, she's not answering her phone, she's not answering the door).

Grey explains, with a certain pointedness that Lucy is away on PTO and that she let everyone who needed to know.

Tim vents to Angela - Angela points out that Tim doesn't have a leg to stand on since he went AWOL for 36 hours and only let Lucy in when Ray showed up. She suggests that maybe he should figure out what he wants while she's away.

He goes to Genny, pretty much gets the same talk and a gentle prod to consider therapy.

When Lucy comes back, he tries to talk to her but she's civil and to the point.

After rollcall he sees Lucy and Nolan leaving the war room and overhears Nolan asking if she'll be okay to work with Tim and Lucy tells him that she's worked with an ex before, she'll be fine. Nolan laughs and says that they were a bit different. Lucy makes a face but the job's the job right?

Besides, she was planning to break up with Nolan anyway, he just jumped the gun.

Tim is staggered, he puts it together that she and Nolan were together. He stews all day on this, Thorsen is on egg shells beside him, hand locked in a death grip around his seatbelt.

Other things fall into place and Tim has a timeline of their relationship and, running on self righteous temper, he goes to Lucy's apartment and challenges her on lying to IA when Nolan had the officer involved shooting. Lucy shoots back that he wasn't exactly toeing the company line himself.

This rocks him because his already shaky foundation is crumbling. She points out that he taught her that some things matter more, that there's ethics involved and the world isn't black and white, but he, getting emotional, retorts that their job is black and white. Realising this isn't getting them anywhere, she backs down and tells him she'll see him at work and if he wants to report her to IA, go ahead.

Leaving her apartment, Tim heads home to Kojo and reruns through those moments Lucy talked about and realises that he does need to figure out what he stands for. He starts therapy.

Time passes.

Noah Foster returns. Needs some help. Offers Lucy a comforting ear, and suggests a move to his location if she wants one. Lucy considers it.

Later that day Tim comes across Aaron and Celina in the bullpen speculating on whether Lucy is leaving since she's been in Grey's office a while and they heard Noah's invitation. His heart sinks because why wouldn't she avail of that opportunity.

Grey talks to Lucy, checking in with her after EVERYTHING

Lucy tells him that things have been tough, that she feels like she's stuck going nowhere.

Grey admits that while he was disappointed FOR her not getting detective, secretly, selfishly, he was a little pleased he got to keep her around. That maybe he doesn't say it enough but she earned her hotshot status but that because she's set the bar so high, that they expect her to do better than the others but that a failing on his part. That she's one of his most competent officers, the kind that he can assign to any task and know she'll complete it. That other departments ask for her specifically because she's got a reputation for being good. That she shouldn't let anyone's actions deter her from continuing to strive to go higher and that he'll start exposing her to other departments, get her name out there so that if anyone tries to black mark her again, there'll be enough people who know her to veto it. (because I need Lucy to get some kudos)

Grey asks if Lucy’s going to take up Foster on his offer and transfer to a different department

Lucy says no, that her family is here, and while things aren’t going how she expected, she doesn’t want to give up. Not yet. Besides, there’s a petty little part of her that wants to show Tim what he’s missing

Also side note but this would involve pining across the bullpen and Tim spending time staring at the curve of Lucy's cheekbone, the purse of her lips, the endless fidgeting with her (their) travel mug.

[cyoza]

thought my brain was done with titans but seeing the spoilers 👀👀

[yeepof]

I understand that tall men are our POV characters, but surely being like a foot taller than everyone around them would have some occasional consequences

[valtsv]

stuck between "psychological horror statement" and "objectively the funniest thing you could say to your real flesh and blood dad" in the father's day card aisle

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[just-spacetrash]

the 'what if you played it a little risky' post literally Changed my life but i cant fujkign find it in my blog because its. a tiktok screenshot

[atalana]

the curse of adhd:

i will remember with absolute clarity, when the thought strikes me that i have a text to send someone, that this is the fourth time in three days i've attempted to send this specific text

i will forget, in the time it takes me to pick up my phone, that i picked it up intending to send a text

[badolmen]

WARNING 18+

19

[liquidstar]

If my mom sees a significant amount of blood she gets lightheaded, and has fainted on some occasions. Once it happened when we were kids, I wasn't there to witness it but I heard the story from my dad. Basically my brothers, around 7 or 8 at the time, were playing outside while my mom was making their lunch, and she accidentally cut her finger. It wasn't anything serious, but it drew a fair bit of blood and she passed out. My dad saw this and rushed over, but he didn't really know what to do so he just sort of started slapping her to wake her up (not recommended, but he had no idea and panicked)

At that exact moment my brothers both came in from playing, and all they saw was our mom unconscious on the floor and our dad slapping her. So, like, without even saying a word to each other they both just INSTANTLY start whaling on him, like, full blown attack mode to defend our mom. Which obviously didn't help the situation, but she did wake up and everything was fine.

Now our dad says that he's actually really glad they attacked him over what they thought was going on, because it means he raised good boys. And I still think that's true, they're very good boys.

[inkskinned]

i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".

it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.

do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.

but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.

do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).

you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.

walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.

no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.

do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."

you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.

there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.

i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.

he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

[christadeguchi]

(✿◕‿◕) die (ꈍ ꒳ ꈍ✿)

[hinamie]

10 years later

[ardri-na-bpiteog]

Also increasingly aware that a LOT of people "manage" getting through the 40+ hour work week by sleeping less than is healthy and relying on stimulants like coffee and energy drinks to keep them going.

For people who are unwilling or unable to do this...work really does just dominate your life. Like we really should not have to rely on unhealthy practices just to have a social life or keep on top of housework or whatever.

I know I post about this a lot but I'm so TIRED all the time and it's just so depressing that this is how we're expected to spend the one life we have.

[crowkip]

yeehaw, baby!